February 13, 2008

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Gabe Starosta THE CHRONICLE

Getting their piece of the pie Departments look forcreative ways to cash in on S4OM Duke Endowment gift by

Jared Mueller

THE CHRONICLE

Jan. 9, 2008, will go down as a pivotal date in the history of faculty recruiting at Duke.

Five weeks ago today, the Duke Endowment announced a gift of $4O million toward the creation of 30 new undergraduate-oriented professorships during the next five years.

The donation has altered the recruitment landscape at the University, encouraging departments to develop innovative program proposals or reorient growth plans toward undergraduate education in the hopes of landing one of the new professorships.

“How do I get a piece of this?”

Carla Antonaccio’s secondfloor Allen Building office sits only a few hundred feet down the hall from the suites of Provost Peter Lange and President Richard Brodhead.

Despite her geographical proximity to power, the chair of classical studies said her department will still have to develop a highly customized proposal if it hopes to land a Duke

Endowment professorship.

“Any chair will look at what a donor, a program, an initiative is trying to do. We’ll try to tailor our proposal to their interests,” Antonaccio said. “You have to be politically savvy, you have to say ‘How do I get a piece of this?’”

She added thatsince the Department of Classical Studies “does not have people banging down the doors for our major,” the department leadership might craft a proposal to draw in more majors or bridge fields of study, Lange said the primary criteria for evaluating proposals for the new professorships will be whether they will make a “special contribution” to the

Just 17 days ago, the Blue Devils traveled to College Park, Md. as the ACC’s untested leaders, while Maryland came in as a bubble team that had just claimed its biggest win of the year—a defeat of then-No. 2 North Carolina in Chapel Hill.

Wednesday night, the two teams meet in Cameron Indoor Stadium at 7 p.m. under quite different circumstances.

Since No. 2 Duke’s 93-84 win Jan. 27, the Blue Devils have knocked off four straight conference opponents by double digits, including the rival Tar Heels. The Terrapins (16-8, 6-3 in the ACC) have also won four straight and positioned themselves nicely for a late-season run and a berth into the NCAA Tournament field.

“We played them not too long ago, but teams get better and more confident after a couple of games, so I feel like they are a lot more confident in the way they are playing,” sophomore Lance Thomas said. “We can’t think they are going to play like they played last time or that they are going to come in here with a losing mindset just because they

SYLVIA QU/CHRONICLE FILE PHOTO

Duke, led by slashers Gerald Henderson (above) and senior captain DeMarcus Nelson, SEE M. BBALL ON PAGE 10

looks to attack the basket tonight against Maryland in Cameron IndoorStadium.

Businesses seek ‘greater good’ Triangle is a center for corporate responsibility trend by

Burt’s Bees is trying to save honeybees from decimation, provide “green” housing for Durham and teach its employees to promote “The Greater Good.”

The Durham-based maker of lip balm and personal care products is also trying to make a profit.

The company is part of an emerging trend of corporate social responsibility and social entrepreneurship in the business world—and one with particularly strong presence in the Triangle.

Students interested in business said they had noticed the shift.

“That trend has gained a lot ofground recently,” juniorChase Lancaster said. “Instead of focusing on

undergraduate experience.

“I would imagine that Trinity [College of Arts and Sciwould get two-thirds of the professorships, but that’s not a hard and fast number,” he added.

Dean of the Faculty of Arts and Sciences George McLendon noted that the professorships created by the Duke Endowment gift may be directed to SEE GIFT ON PAGE 5

Will Robinson THE CHRONICLE

Communityoutreach is one of the elements ofBurt's Bees'"The Greater Good"philosophy, which emphasizes corporate social responsibility.

SEE SOCIAL ON PAGE

7

2 | WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2008

THE CHRONICLE

Weati

WASHINGTON Barack Obama powered Clinton in the race for Democratic past Hillary convention delegatesTuesday, scoring outsized primary victories in Maryland, Virginia and the District of Columbia on a night of triumph.

"Tonight we're on our way,"he told cheering supporters in Madison, Wis."But we know how much further we have to go on,"Obama added.

His victories were by large margins—he was gaining about 75 percent of the vote in the nation's capital and about two-thirds in Virginia.

Republican front-runner John McCain won all three GOP primaries, adding to his big lead in delegates for the nomination.

Senate approves eavesdropping The Senate Tuesday apWASHINGTON proved new rules for government eavesdropping on phone calls and e-mails, giving the White House much of the latitude it wanted and granting legal immunity to telecommunications companies that helped in the snooping after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.

WORLD NEWS ENTERTAINMENT Speaker threatens new elections Writers end 3-month-long strike

BAGHDAD The speaker of Iraq's fragmented parliament threatened Tuesday to disband the legislature, saying it is so riddled with distrust it appears unable to adopt the budget or agree on a law setting a date for provincial elections.

Disbanding parliament would prompt new elections within 60 days and further undermine Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki's shaky government, which is limping along with nearly halfof the 40 Cabinet posts vacant.

Parties agree to form coalition ISLAMABAD, Pakistan Leaders of Pakistan's two main opposition parties said Tuesday they would form a coalition government if—as expected—their groups win the biggest share of votes in next week's parliamentary elections.

The hour-long meeting of Benazir Bhutto's widowed husband, Asif Ali Zardari,and former Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif came one day after a survey by a U.S. government-funded icted the opposition would victory in the Feb. 18 ballot.

ions off $3O billion iGTON —The Federal Reserve, combat the effects of a se;dit crisis, said Tuesday it had med $3O billion in funds to imercial banks at an interest of 3.010 percent.

The Fed's hope is that the Teased resources will keep »anks lending and prevent severe credit squeeze from taking the current economic lowdown worse. It marked \e fifth in a series of auctions.

CENTER FOR

LOS ANGELES Striking Hollywood writers are going back to work.

The Writers Guild of America said its members voted Tuesday to end their devastating, three-month strike that brought the entertainment industry to a standstill.

Writers will be back on the job Wednesday after voting in Beverly Hills and New York.

"At the end of the day, everybody won.

It was a fair deal and one that the companies can live with, and it recognizes the large contribution that writers have made to the industry," Leslie Moonves, chief executive officer of CBS Corp., told The Associated Press.

Clearing P.M.

ODDS& ENDS Woman deposits meth in bank BREMERTON, Wash. —Credit unions accept deposits—just not of methamphetamine.

A woman who allegedly dropped an envelope containing money and a bag of meth at a Kitsap Credit Union was arrested and charged with drug possession, according to court documents.

A bank employee reported the deposit to police, who contacted the 18-year-old

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Expect a wet morning today with mostly cloudy skies and a high around 60 degrees.

Skies will dear during the afternoon, and temperatures will fall into the 30s by the early evening Thursday looksto be sunny but cool.

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

—Jonathan Oh

Calendar

Lil Wayne indicted for felonies YUMA, Ariz. —A jury has indicted Lil Wayne on felony drug and weapons charges.

The 25-year-old rapper, whose name is Dwayne Michael Carter Jr., was charged with one count each of possession of a narcotic drug for sale, possession of dangerous drugs, misconduct involving weapons and one count of possession of drug paraphernalia, according to the indictment.

CA

WED Rain for '

U.S. NEWS Obama, McCain sweep Potomac

Today Lemur Center Valentine's Day sale West Campus Plaza, 11 a.m.

Make your Valentine happy by purchasing stuffed lemursand other lemur goodies. Cash, creditand FLEX accepted.

Find your weight out Student Health Conference Room, 12 p.m.

Want to be a healthier you in 2008? Find Your Weigh Out is a non-diet approach to weight management.

Condom distribution Krzyzewskiville, 9 p.m.

After the Blue Devils turn the heat on in Cameron,find the DELISH peer educators who will be distributing condoms.

News briefs compiled from wire reports

customer.

"Whatis pain?! French bread!"

Coach Boone

Officers said she might have mistakenly included the bag when she got money out of her pocket for the deposit.

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WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2008 | 3

the chronicle

Duke eyes possibility of more online offerings by

Emmeline Zhao THE CHRONICLE,

Online courses and course materials may soon be coming to computers near you.

Though some professors already make their lectures accessible to students on Blackboard, Duke—unlike some peer institutions—does not have a Web site that allows students to take entire courses or openly view course materials online. That may not, however, be the case for future students, Provost Peter Lange said.

“The basic reason we haven’t done this the past is unless it can be done in away in that delivers courses at a level we expect a Duke course to be delivered, we wouldn’t want to do it,” he said.

Lange said Duke considered such an initiative seven or eight years ago, but the technology was too costly and could not effectively offer an experience meeting standards demanded by the University.

The Massachusetts Institute of Technology, however, took a different route.

Instead of offering full courses online, MlT’s OpenCourseWare site openly provides course materials such as syllabi, lectures and activities to the general public.

“It’s nice to be able to look up old stuff and class materials,” said MIT sophomore Mason Tang, an undergraduate representative for the MIT Council on Educational Technology.

“It’s also a good way for students to preview classes they’re thinking about taking.”

The benefits are threefold, Steve Carson, external relations director of Open Course wrote in an e-mail. The Web site lets students and alumni stay connected with the university, helps improve teaching and learning at MIT and showcases the university’s curriculum to the rest of the world, he added.

Associate Professor of Economics Connel Fullenkamp has taken the first step toward online education at Duke by posting his lectures online.

“It was a piece of technology that would help students get more of thematerial and get it in an accessible way,” he said. “I was also really curious to know how it would affect attendance at lectures and whether some students would use it as a substitute for lectures.”

What Fullenkamp discovered, he said, was that students were not skipping class more than usual and instead, found the lectures helpful to watch over and use as supplements.

After the launch of OpenCourseWare, Carson said MIT reported similar results, with less than four percent of the faculty reporting drops in attendance.

Freshman Peter Bang took Fullenkamp’s Economic Principles course last semester, but said he did not find the online lectures helpful when he missed class.

“They were really time-consuming because to watch one lecture you’d have to sit in front of the computer and watch it for an hour and 15 minutes,” he said.

Although sophomore Will Patrick has used OpenCourseWare for research and said he supports a Duke version of the site, he said he would notjump at the chance to cut down his overload by taking a course online.

“I value interactions with professors and enjoy class discussion,” he said. ‘You just can’t get that with online classes.”

Fullenkamp said he does not find solely online courses helpful or useful to students seeking a quality education.

“I think online courses are not going to be as good of an experience across the

see

online

on page 5

KEVIN HWAN

A technician oversees recording of a first-year medical school lecture for online uploading in the control room of Searle Center Lecture Hall at Duke University Medical Center.

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THE CHRONICLE

DUKE UNIVERSITY UNION

DUU to bring Tucker Max to campus in March [school], which he attended on an academic scholarship, although he neglected to buy any textbooks for his final two years Duke, hide your co-eds The Duke University Union voted and spent part of one semester, while enTuesday night to bring Tucker Max, a rolled, in Cancun,” the memo reads.

The Union also approved $2,000 for a blogger and New York Times bestselling author, to speak in Page Auditorium eiparty hosted by Small Town Records, which ther March 3 or 4. was presented by the organization’s DirecMembers also approved funding for a tor Colin Tierney, a junior. party thrown by Small Town Records and “[The event] will help fulfill our misdiscussed a film series centered around lession of providing entertainment and bebian, gay, bisexual and transgenderrights at ing the center of music at Duke Univerthe general body meeting Tuesday night. sity,” he said.

The Major Speakers committee presentThe party is slated to take place at ed the proposal for Max’s appearance and Alivia’s Durham Bistro March 27, and all was granted $7,000 Duke students to cover his appear•e encourance fee. Members “It will help fulfill our mission aged to attend To of providing entertainment and RecS0mr t who appeals pridistribute copbeing the Center of music at ies of a compimarily to the 18rr iJUKe University. to-24 age group, lation album would be an ideal Tierney of the label’s Colin bands for free personality to bring to campus after last Small Town Records co-director at the event and semester’s DUUrelease a digital version of the sponsored speakers filmmaker John Waters and retired NBA record five days earlier, basketball player John Amaechi.

Although the Major Speakers and Small “We believe having a Tucker Max en- Town Records proposals were both grantgagement would be a perfect compliment ed the full budget requested, the film seto the speakers we have had in the past this ries centered around lesbian, gay, bisexual year, whom appealed to an older demo- and transgender rights was only allocated graphic, and took on a more serious tone,” about half of the $1,050 it needed from the memo said. the Union. The limited funding will likely Major Speakers committee members force the event to drop one of its five films said Max will promote his current and from the series.

“This LGBT film series aims to explore upcoming books at the event, adding that Max is “personally excited” to return to his LGBT perspectives on all forms of love—alma mater. parental, filial, casual, romantic and mariMax’s first book, “I Hope They Serve tal, among others,” the memo detailing the Beer in Hell,” chronicles his debaucherous film series read. antics and has appeared on the New York The series has been granted funding Times Bestseller List. from multiple campus groups, but needed “Tucker Max is a popular ‘fratire’ writer, additional money from DUU to show both known for chronicling his nighttime crazy the documentary “Small Town Gay Bar” encounters, and a graduate of Duke law and the avant-garde film “Blueprint.” by

Kevin Lincoln

THE CHRONICLE

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Union members, including President-electChamindra Goonewardene (left), share a laugh at Tuesday's meeting.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2008 5 |

THE CHRONICLE

GIFT from page 1

ONLINE from page 5

emerging fields or areas with high levels of student interest and few faculty, citing computational biology and the popular International Comparative Studies major as examples.

McLendon said the diversity in faculty rank of the Duke Endowment positions—broken into 12 challenge grants for full professorships and 20 endowed associate and assistant professorships —adds to the dynamism of the program.

board, and furthermore I don’t think that’s what people are looking for when they come to Duke for an educa-

“It’s away of creating a much more interesting Duke,”

McLendon said. “It can be really fun to take an econ course

from [Professor of Economics] Tim Bollerslev, who is the best-known person in his field in the world, but it can be equally fun to take a course with a person who is only six years older than you are.”

Math yearns for postdocs The first of the 12 new full professorships was announced last week, when the Homeland Foundation matched the Duke Endowment’s $1.25 million donation to endow the Reynolds Price Professorship in creative writing.

Chair of Mathematics Mark Stern, however, said he was skeptical about the ability of endowed professorships to attract top scientists without making associated funds available to recruits.

“Duke’s endowed professorships aren’t currently very strong recruiting tools, because most of them don’t come with funds for bringing in postdocs, who lead to a more exciting science environment,” Stern said. “In the sciences, prestige comes from the work you do and not the name of your chair.”

In contrast, McLendon and Chair of Philosophy Tad Schmaltz said the prestige ofnamed professorships are an effective draw for many scholars.

McLendon, a former chair of chemistry at Princeton who described himself as a “reasonably successful scientist,” also said top scholars usually come with their own grant money and aside from transition funds typically do not need University support to hire postdoctoral students.

“For me it wouldn’t have mattered if they gave me a little bit of money to hire a postdoc, because I had millions of dollars worth of research grants,” McLendon noted.

“We’re unlikely to [fund postdocs] in perpetuity, because that’s just saying, ‘Don’t be competitive.’”

Chair of Physics Daniel Gauthier also said generous recruitment packages sometimes aren’t enough to attract top candidates.

The physics department has been looking to fill an endowed professorship in experimental condensed matter physics for a few years, and last year made what both Gauthier and McLendon described as an unusually lavish offer to a target.

Although the recruit told Gauthier he was taken aback at Duke’s generosity, he ultimately declined the named professorship and decided to stay at his home institution.

Pratt looks to innovate For Robert Clark, interim dean of the Pratt School of Engineering, the new professorships offer a chance to burnish Duke’s reputation as a leader in interdisciplinarity.

"Their No. 1 focus is undergraduate education, but not just the status quo,” Clark said. “It’s about a really transformational experience.”

He added that he has spoken with administrators in the Fuqua School of Business, the Sanford Institute of Public Policy and the Nicholas School of the Environment and Earth Sciences about developing new courses to introduce liberal arts students to engineering and engineers to other

disciplines.

“This is the kind of thing that really differentiates Duke nationally and internationally,” Clark added. “It really defines what I would say is the fabric of our university.”

The focus on undergraduate education is also novel in some engineering disciplines that are centered on com-

plex research.

“It has us look at faculty recruiting differently and makes us emphasize teaching much more than perhaps we have usually done,” said George Truskey, chair of bio-

tion,” he said. “People who are really behind this drive to online education don’trealize that the education pro-

cess is more about developing a relationship than about delivering the material.”

But for now, the possibility of creating a course-based Duke site is still being investigated, Lange said. If implemented, whether the online resources will resemble MlT’s OpenCourseWare or be full courses offered on the Web is still unclear.

“I would say it’s very exploratory at this point,” Lange said. “But the fundamental issue is, ‘Can we do it at a quality level that one expects of Duke?”’

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY KEVIN

CHRONICLE

A film of Associate Professor of Public Policy Kate Whetten lecturing in Seaiie Center Lecture Hall is availablefor student viewing on Web site Lectopia.

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Our current approach has been when we bring in new

faculty we look at their teaching, but we haven’t explored new initiatives that they might develop.”

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6 | WEDNESDAY. FEBRUARY 13,2008

DUKE LAW The Program in Public Law presents

DUKE CENTER FOR CIVIC ENGAGEMENT

Challenge yourself. Change your world.

In Durham

with Professor Garrett Epps

Information Sessions

Garrett Epps is Orlando John and Marian H. Hollis Professor at the University of Oregon School of Law, where he teaches Constitutional Law and Creative Writing for Law Students. He is a graduate of

February 13, 3:00-4:00 p.m.

Meeting Room A, Bryan Center

Duke Law School Room 3041 February 14, 2008 12:15-1:15 PM

>

DukeEngage

The Fourteenth Amendment: The Framing ofAmerica’s Second Constitution

Harvard and Hollins Colleges and of Duke Law School, and has been a visiting professor at Boston College Law School, Duke Law School and the Washington College ofLaw of American University. A former reporter for The Washington Post, he is the author of two novels. His two nonfiction books, To an Unknown God: Religious Freedom on Trial (2001) and Democracy Reborn: The Fourteenth Amendment arid the Fight for Equal Rights in Post-Civil War America (2006) have both been finalists for the American Bar Association’s Silver Gavel Book Award, and Democracy Reborn was awarded the Francis Fuller Victor Award for General Nonfiction of the Oregon Book Awards.

His first novel, The Shad Treatment, won the Lillian Smith Award for best work of fiction about the South in 1977. He is a contributor to The Nation, slate.com and salon.com, and his work has appeared in The New York Times, The New York Review of Books, The New Republic and The American Prospect. His first published poem, “Well Tolerated, No Side Effects,” appeared last year in The Mississippi Review. Next year he will become Professor of Law at the University of Baltimore.

*

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February 19, 3:00-4:00 p.m.

Meeting Room A, Bryan Center -

February 23, 3:00-4:00 p.m.

Griffith Board Room, Bryan Center -

Immerse yourself in the history, culture, and social issues of Durham 60 internship opportunities available Light Refreshments will be served.

For more information, contact Sam Miglarese, 6atn.miglarese@duke.edu or Domonigue Redmond, dredmond@duke.edu.

the chronicle

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2008 | 7

SOCIAL from page 1 jList the shareholders, they focus on all the stakeholders.”

The percentage of U.S. business schools requiring that students take a course on business and societal issues increased from 34 percent in 2001 to 63 percent in 2007, according to a survey conducted by the Center for Business Education.

Sophomore Justin Healy, executive vice president of The Duke Entrepreneur, said the social responsibility movement has affected business education because schools design their curriculum to reflect trends in the business world.

The Fuqua School ofBusiness’ Center for the Advancement of Social Entrepreneurship teaches innovative approaches to addressing critical social needs, CASE Associate Director Matt Nash said.

“In the last 20 to 30 years... there has been greater experimentation and public awareness of social entrepreneurship,” he added.

The distinction between a socially responsible corporation and a social enterprise is difficult to define, said Professor of Philosophy Wayne Norman, who teaches a class on business ethics.

“Their outward philosophy may be similar in the sense that they are trying to do good for the community, [but] usually with social entrepreneurship, there is a fairly dedicated mission that they are trying to promote rather than making a profit,” he said.

Norman added that Burt’s Bees would not be considered a social enterprise.

Research Triangle Park has gained a reputation as a center for companies like Burt’s Bees that strive for'a “triple bottom line” —performance measurements of social, environmental and financial goals, Nash said.

Gabrielle Prohn, public relations and promotions coordinator for Burt’s Bees, said its “The Greater Good” model includes social responsibility and environmental sustainability.

For example, Burt’s Bees ran a theater advertisement about the environmental phenomenon of Colony Collapse Disprder currendy threatening honeybees. They also coordinated last year with Durham Habitat for Humanity to break ground on Hope Crossing, a “green” community. Another of the company’s initiatives is to provide employees with “wellness benefits” such as yoga classes and massage therapy.

“Of all the companies that I know in the Triangle, they are the most socially responsible,” said Durham Habitat for Humanity Executive Director Miguel Rubiera. Customers raised concerns last year about whether Burt’s Bees would be able to continue its environmentally-friendly practices after bleachmaker Clorox bought the company. Rubiera said he was not concerned about the acquisition, and added that Burt’s Bees Chief Executive Officer John Replogle currently serves on Durham Habitat for Humanity’s Board of Directors.

“Not only the [Burt’s Bees] management but also the employees believe in that philosophy,” Rubiera said. “The idea [for our collaboration] came from one ofhis employees.”

The Redwoods Group is another RTP-based business that aspires to social responsibility. The company is a specialty insurance organization that insures YMCAs and other missiondriven groups. President and CEO Kevin Trapani said the Redwoods Group follows a business model similar to Burt’s Bees.

“To be here in the Triangle and have two companies that are so focused and so well-regarded for corporate responsibility is a great thing,” he said. “You don’t do this stuff for publicity, you do it because it’s right.”

Trapani said Redwoods employees are required to fulfill 40 hours of community service per year while on the clock and that around half of the company’s income is given away as donations.

“It is a part ofoverall social responsibility,” he said. “It is a growing trend, and I think it will be a permanent state in

American industry.”

SPECIAL TO THE CHRONICLE

Durham's Burt's Bees makes community outreachpart ofits business plan.

LAWSON KURTZ/THE CHRONICLE

Visiting Professor of PoliticalScience Jason Casellas speaks in the Rare Book Room for a discussion on the Hispanicvote in the presidential election.

THE CHRONICLE

8 | WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2008

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•

ACC Select

Sabreena Merchant THE CHRONICLE

•

SEE VAISMAN ON PAGE 12

in.

Duke looks to take care of business against an ACC bottom feeder tonight when it faces Clemson to collectits twelfth straight victory against unranked opponents.

The Blue Devils (18-6, 7-2 in the ACC) enter the contest on a two-game win streak on the road and in conference play. The Tigers, meanwhile, have won just one of their last five games and have notched just three conference wins.

Despite boasting the second-lowest overall winning percentage in the ACC, Clemson (10-14, 3-6) still commands Duke’s undivided attention.

“Every game has equal value, and so for us it’s Clemson,” head coach Joanne P. McCallie said. “That’s what we’re going to focus on and that’s the only thing we put into our heads.”

The Tigers’ play, however, has hardly been noteworthy. Clemson ranks eleventh of twelfth in the conference in points scored and dead last in field goal percentage. Combined with Duke’s ACCleading scoring defense, the Tigers could have some trouble putting points on the scoreboard.

Clemson will try to pose problems for the Blue Devils on offense by utilizing one of Duke’s own tactics—the fullcourt press.

McCallie stressed the importance of running hard at the Tigers and playing physical basketball for the duration of the game.

“I’d like to see us really attack their pressure,” McCallie said. “Clemson will give you a chance to make great plays because they will press you, and they will fall back into their zone. We have a real opportunity to

I don’t consider myself to be a particularly superstitious person. I don’t knock on wood. I’m not afraid of black cats that cross in front of me. I find opening umbrellas indoors to be incredibly amusing. And I’m more terrified of falling offof a ladder than I am of getting seven years ofbad luck from walking underneath one.

The same thing holds true for sports. I don’t have a lucky jersey that I religiously wear until my team loses. I don’t sit in the same seat or keep my body in some contorted position until my team pulls through for fear of disrupting the outcome via the butVcIISIYI3II terfly effect. I don’t believe in teams of “destiny,” or that some external supernatural force beyond physics, nature or the refs is willing the squad to victory.

As a result, I have no problems asking the question that some people are too afraid to bring up for fear of “jinxing” it: Can Duke run the table in the ACC? Going perfect in the ACC wouldn’t be against historical precedent —the Blue Devils have done it once before. In the 19981999 season, Duke went 16-0 in conference play as part of a larger stretch of 32 straight victories that ended when they were upset in the NCAA Finals by Connecticut. That perfect season was also sandwiched in between two 15-1 seasons, making the Blue Devils an incredible 46-2 during the ACC

•7

SARA GUERRERO/CHRONICLE FILE PHOTO

Sophomore Joy Cheek and the Blue Devils hit theroad tonight looking for their ninth conference victory.

SEE W. BBALL ON PAGE 12

ACC BASKETBALL

North Carolina barely edges UVa by

Hank Kurz,

Jr.

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. Tyler Hansbrough scored 23 points, including a critical

The 1998-1999Blue Devil squad, which featured Shane Battier, was thelast Duke team to run thetable in the ACC.

baby hook with 21 seconds to play Tuesday night, and No. 5 North Carolina once again survived a surprising challenge before holding on in a 75-74 vicUNC -75 tory over Virginia.

UVA 74 The Tar Heels (23-2, 8-2 in the ACC), coming off a double overtime victory against Clemson on Sunday, got all they could handle from the Cavaliers, who had lost nine of 10 but played nothing like a team in a hopeless free fall.

Virginia (11-12, 1-9), trying to avoid its first 1-9 start in the league since the 197677 season, came up short, but not without its best showing in almost a month.

Wayne Ellington added 19points and Deon Thompson 12 for North Carolina. Sean Singletary scored 27 points to lead the Cavaliers.

The Tar Heels led throughout the second half, but Virginia got within five several times, keeping the crowd very much into it,

and prepared for one more Cavaliers run.

Trailing 60-55, Mamadi Diane scored in the lane for Virginia, and after a miss by the Tar Heels, Laurynas Mikalauskas scored inside for Virginia to make it 60-59.

Baskets by Deon Thompson and Hansbrough made it 67-61, but Virginia came back again, getting a 3-pointer from Jones and a free throw from Singletary to make it 67-65. Afterfour more points for North Carolina, Jamil Tucker hit a 3-pointer for Virginia, pulling them within 71-68 with 3:23 left.

Virginia had four looks at a tie, but none of their 3-point tries went down.

When Ellington scored inside to lift the Tar Heels lead back to 73-68, Calvin Baker made a 3-pointerfor Virginia, pulling them to 73-71 with 51.7 left, but the Tar Heels then turned to their All-American, and he came through on the biggest possession.

Just 21 seconds remained, and when Singletary made a 3 with 8.2 seconds to play, the Tar Heels threw the ball to the other end of the court, Ellington was fouled with 2.8 seconds to go. He missed the free throw, but time North Carolina's Tyler Hansbrough drives to the expired before anyone could gain possession. basket in the second half of the Tar Heels' 75-74 win.

THE CHRONICLE

10 I WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2008

DUKE vs. MARYLAND Wednesday, February 13 Cameron Indoor Stadium •

7 p.m.

•

ESPN

No. 2 Duke (21-1,9-0)

Maryland (16-8, 6-3)

LANCE THOMAS 4.7 >g-3.2rj KYLESINGLER 13.8 5.1 n DeMARCUS NELSON 15.5 5.9 rpq Dm, F 4.9 rpg ppg, GERALD HENDERSON 13.2 G G GREG PAULUS 10.5 ppg, 3.5 apg

FRONTCU GLEN

GUTTERSON/CHRONICLE FILE

PHOTO

Senior captain DeMarcus Nelson enters tonight's contest leading Duke in scoring with 15.5 points per game.

M.BBALL from page 1 lost the last game.”.

That evening at the Comcast Center, Maryland gave Duke all kinds of problems early on, particularly in the post. Forwards James Gist and Bam bale Osby scored 13 and 12 points, respectively, in the first half, and Osby was just one rebound short of a doubledouble in the opening 20 minutes. Thomas said Monday without any hesitation thatOsby is the strongest post player in the ACC. In contrast, Thomas and freshman Kyle Singler combined for just four points and three rebounds in the first period against (he Terrapins. Singler alone averages 13.8 points and 6.1 rebounds per contest, and the disparity contributed to Duke’s nine-point deficit at the break. The game marked the first time this season the team trailed at halftime. The Blue Devils, however, have been behind at the break of three of the last five contests.

“Our last couple of games,'we haven’t come out strong in the first half and have been down a few times, so especially against Maryland, we have to come out ready in the first half,” guard Jon Scheyer said. “We can’t expect to be down in the first half and then just turn it on. We afe going to get bit if we keep doing that.”

One way the Blue Devils can avoid falling behind early is to improve their play in transition, especially defensively. Scheyer said Duke needs to contain Maryland playmaker Greivis Vasquez, who often leads the Terrapins’ fastbreak offense, in order to force Maryland into its halfcourt offense. Vasquez played two excellent games this past week and came up just one rebound short of a triple-double against N.C. State Saturday.

Duke, meanwhile, plans to push the ball as much as possible. The Blue Devils’ comeback in College Park was keyed by aggressive drives to the basket and pressure defense, both of which led to easy buckets.

Not surprisingly, Duke’s leading scorers

BACKOURT BENCH

Maryland's post players may be the same height as Duke's big men, but their bulk and size will create matchup problems underneath the basket. Thomas and Singler will be unable to successfully contain the strongerduoof Gist and Osby.

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OUR CALL: Duke

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wins, 86-82 —Compiled by Madeline Perez ■-

that night were its two players who best attack the basket—sophomore Gerald Henderson and captain DeMarcus Nelson. The pair combined for 50 points in the win.

Since the two teams last met, though, the Blue Devils’ most important development has perhaps been Thomas’ improved play. After struggling early in the year and particularly against Osby in the first meeting, Thomas has responded with two of the

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lane. Although Vasquez's recent performances, including a near triple-double, have been impressive, look for the seasoned leadership of Paulus to be the deciding factor.

Even though Maryland usually plays an eight-man lineup, none of the reserves have produced any significant points this season. With Jon Scheyer and Nolan Smith playing starter minutes, the Terrapins will not be able to

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7.9 r JAMES GIST 16.4 1,3.?f| LANDON MILBOURNE 8.3 rpa ddq.

OSBY 11.6 7.0 BAMBALE ERIC HAYES 10.9 ppg, 5.5 apg GREIVIS VASOUEZ 16 9 DDQ, 6.7 apq

best games of his career against UNC and Boston College.

“I felt like [that improvement] was something that was just taking a while, but now that it’s here, I’m not going to let it slip through my fingers,” Thomas said.

The surging Blue Devils hope to be bolstered by Thomas’ improved play and attitude, beginning Wednesday against the Terrapins.

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THE CHRONICLE

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2008 | 11

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THE CHRONICLE

12 | WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2(X)8

VAISMAN from page 9 regular season over those three years.

That’s not to say that this Duke team is as good as the 1999 team that featured Elton Brand, Trajan Langdon, Cory Maggette and Shane Battier. Or that historical precedent has any bearing about what’s to come this season.

But the fact that it hasbeen done before means that it isn’t out of the realm of possibility.

So yes, it can be done, but will it?

The Blue Devils are 9-0 in conference play heading into tonight’s game against Maryland. Although the team has had some tight stretches in the second half of most of these games, Duke has won only one contest by fewer than 10 points and has compiled a 14.4 point average margin of victory. Not bad for competing in a conference that is ranked No. 1 in the RPI.

Duke and a perfect season. Maryland is the second-hottest team in the ACC and played second-half fits this season: Clemson, Boston the Blue Devils down to the wire in College College and Florida State. Escaping a trip to Park last month. In that game, Duke found itself facing a Litdejohn to face the .

Tigers is perhaps the nine-point r r r The fact that [perfection J halftime defibiggest break on Duke’s Clt and had scheduie, as they will has heen done before means no real annot have to match up again against Clem- that it isn’t out of the realm of swer for big men son’s tremendous size.

James rvoscihilitv V* Gist and esThe Blue Devils are also sayed another run-in pecially Bamwith the sleaziest player in the ACC, Virginia bale Osby, who had a career high 20 points Tech’s Deron “Dida” Washington, who made and 15 rebounds. The Terrapins have also his Azzurri flopping and Jeff Beukeboom hip- proven that they can win in Durham, with checks known to a national audience when then-freshman Greivis Vasquez putting up 13 points and 12 assists in Maryland’s 85-77 Duke played the Hokies on ESPN. So what about the seven ACC games win over Duke last season, that are left on the schedule? Tonight’s will If the Blue Devils win—and it won’t be a probably be the biggest obstacle in between walk in the park if it happens—the road to

Additionally, the Blue Devils will not be playing three of the teams that gave them

,

”

*

perfection gets clearer until North Carolina rolls into town March 8. Four of the games seem winnable: at Wake Forest, at Miami, at Virginia and home to Georgia Tech. These teams are a combined 12-23 in conference play this season, and although the Yellow Jackets aren’t as bad as those other three teams, it will be a tall order for them to upset Duke at Cameron. Provided they don’t repeat their first half performance against the Wolfpack, the Blue Devils should be able to handle the other road game on the schedule, at North Carolina State.

That leaves UNC, which will be an entirely different beast if/when Ty Lawson is back. The task won’t be easy, especially with such a young team, but a 15-0 record would make an otherwise intense game even more spectacular.

Let’s just hope they don’t run into the New York Giants.

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assists, create offense and play off the dribble.”

Playing an up-tempo game could propel the Blue Devils

create

of their recent offensive struggles. Duke has shot a collective 88.6 percent from the field in its last three contests, significantly below the team’s 42.2 percent mark frorfi the floor for the season.

The Blue Devils hope to rekindle some of the offensive magic that prevailed during the pair’s last meeting, a 10553 drubbing of the Tigers at Cameron Indoor Stadium.

Unfortunately, the team has had difficulty finding a rhythm on offense this season with three different guards —freshman Jasmine Thomas, junior Abby Waner and senior Wanisha Smith—running the point, two of whom are playing out of position.

Because of the shuffling in the backcourt, Duke’s post players have stepped up to provide consistency on offense. With many of the Blue Devil guards mired in shooting struggles, the team’s interior play will key the scoring attack.

The bigs also will be relied upon to crash the boards to create second-chance opportunities on offense and prevent transition buckets by Clemson. Duke pulls down 43.7 rebounds a game in conference play—second in the ACC— to the Tigers’ 37.8, and the rebounding advantage on both ends of the floor will be critical in what figures to be a fast-paced game.

While it would be easy to look past Clemson and ahead to Sunday’s clash with Maryland, McCallie and the players believe that they are focused on their current opponent.

“We play in a conference, the ACC, where every team is athletic, quick, and every team is competitive,” sophomore Keturah Jackson said. “We know that we can’t overlook any teams in this conference and we have to take it one game at a time.” out

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Show on Super Bowl Sunday. made national headIndeed, administrators were lines for its decision right to defend such a perto host the controversial Sex formance —as long as it truly Workers’ Art Show. set out to achieve some larger “Another sex scandal at educational goal.

Of course, Duke Univerwhether or COltONdl sity, if you can not this show believe that,” truly achieved that end is up “The O’Reilly Factor” dubifor debate. There were several ously reported after all die performers had already packed aspects of the show that most people at Duke and elsewhere their bags and left Durham. would consider to be in poor Not so much, Bill. taste. But the sponsors of the The Feb. 3 cabaret-style performance—which has made event—the Women’s Center, Students for Choice, the stops at several colleges as part of its 2008 Tour—aimed to Baldwin Scholars Program, highlight the “creativity” and the Program for Study of Sexualities, the University and “genius” of phone-sex operators, prosdtutes and strippers. Cultural Funds and Campus Needless to say, the show has Council—and not the Allen also created quite a stir.

Building should be the ones As a private university, held accountable for making Duke had the right to play sure the tenor of what was host to the Sex Workers’ Art supposed to be a constructive, ||

ontherecord

For me it wouldn ’I have mattered if they gave me a little bit of money to hire a postdoc, because I had millions of dollars worth ofresearch grants. Were unlikely to [fund postdocs] in perpetuity, because that’s just saying, Don’t be competitive.

George McLendon, dean of the faculty of arts and sciences, on how attractive Duke’s faculty recruitment efforts are—a key issue as the University prepares to higher 30 new professors using a gift 9 : from the Duke Endowment. See story page 1. “

”

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educational event stayed true to that billing.

This accountability is particularly key in light of the fact that Duke pulled approximately $3,500 out of its activities coffers to help fund the show.

But whatmade the Sex Workers’ Art Show a story on ABC News and “The O’Reilly Factor” was die feet that it came on the heels of the lacrosse case.

Critics say that the Duke administration was hypocritical to allow sex workers (including strippers) on campus after President Richard Brodhead denounced in Spring 2006 lacrosse players’ decision to invite a stripper to their Duke-owned house.

The criticism carries some water. It’s true that Brodhead wagged his finger at the team for hiring a stripper to dance

their party, and those players were never punished in any concrete way for that choice.

We have yet to see that finger wagged in this case.

Moreover, the sex workers who performed Feb. 3 were—at least in spirit of the event, if not the actual nature of it—supposed to reveal through their performances another, educationally grounded aspect of the experience of sex workers. That is to say, Duke didn’t bring in strippers to strip at a party in the Bryan Center.

But on a more policy-driven level, critics are right to point out that no matter how those sex workers performed, the fact of the matter is that Duke organizations did pay for strippers to come to campus—a decision that clearly flies in the face of University policy which states that “strippers may not at

be invited or paid

perform sponsored by individual students, residential living to

at events

groups or cohesive units.”

Honestly, it’s hard to see how the Sex Workers’ Art Show didn’t violate the rules set out in Duke’s September 2006 addition to the Bulletin of Information and Regulations.

Rather than moralize, this board suggests that the administration think long and hard about loosening its policy on allowing strippers on campus.

So, yes, the Feb. 3 showviolated University regulations, but it violated regulations that appear to be flawed in the first place.

Certainly, the Sex Workers’ Axt Show was controversial and for many in poor taste. But it definitely is by no means a “sex scandal”—despite what those mainstream headlines read.

A votefor you is a votefor me ill-suited as they for the task of choosing reopen wounds rather than heal them. Bill presidents, American presidential elections Clinton loudly recalled Jesse Jackson’s 1988 run, just before the South Carolina primajl JLare excellent at inspiring discussions about where we are as a society and what we’re focusing ries, with the strong implication that this was on. In this regard, 2008 is no disappointment. And just one more show from just one more black candidate. Obama, rather than plead his case what this election hown more directly to women, sends out his wife, Oprah h:xas shown, Winfrey and whatever Kennedy women he can than any other in round up as if to say, “these women like me, my lifetime, is how V', ■ and you should too.” many of us are still And one might well wonder why the senator idenconsumed by ‘SSfe;' from Illinois turned down a joint invitation from tity politics.

Duke and North Carolina Central University, only I have watched to reschedule a fundraiser at Central and leave with some pleasure oliver sherouse dear old us out in the cold. as the supporters Now, I should disclose that as a conservative of Senators Hillary you tell me don’t much like either Democrat, and I realI Clinton and Barack ize that Republicans largely avoid this kind of Obama, the Democratic front-runners, have argued their cases on identity politics by maintaining a remarkably these pages and elsewhere. Owing to a lack of uniform identity. But even though seeing the Democrats in internal turmoil fills me with poany real policy differences between these candidates, these conversations have focused partly litical glee, it also worries me deeply about how on warm and fuzzy generalizations like Change, far our nation still has to go, and whether we are which is the inevitable effect of time, and Exheading in the wrong direction.

We are becoming, more and more, a society perience, which neither candidate can actually that focuses on our differences rather than our claim to have. commonalities. We give these virtues the name But the true dynamic of this race for the nomination is not Change vs. Experience, but race vs. “Diversity,” and pursue them as though they are an gender. It’s who gets to be the first first: Obama end in and of themselves. And while diversity is in as the first black nominee, or Clinton as the first many ways and places a good thing, this is only true when it is grounded in something strong enough woman. to hold the whole together.

Neither candidate, of course, will openly acI’m not suggesting that we should try to preknowledge this fact, but a simple analysis of the voting results thus far will bear me out. It started tend away our differences or ignore our own right after Obama’s victory in the lowa caucuses, identities. But an African American, an AngloAmerican and a Hispanic American should all when women in New Hampshire saw Clinton’s moment of weakness and delivered a come-from-bebe able to look at each other and see first what hind win. they have in common, and only then what makes we’ve seen a coalesceach different.

Since that moment, Of around the candidates.

The more we build an us-vs.-them mentality identity groups ing In Nevada, Clinton started to win white voters amongst ourselves, the more our society and our and women by decisive margins, while in South nation will fall apart. The great melting pot of hisCarolina 80 percent of black voters pulled the tory will recongeal into its formative parts, and two centuries and more of halting and hard-won proglever for Obama.

The trend continued on Super Tuesday when ress will have been for nothing.

Now, maybe Clinton or Obama will be able Obama slightly improved his standing among white voters, but lost heavily among Hispanics who to pull their party and the nation beyond its divisions. Maybe John McCain could do it. But I gave Clinton a strong win in California.

This kind of identity voting is nothing new in grow ever more skeptical of those leaders who claim to be uniters—they’ve failed or reneged American politics, and especially not in Democratic primaries. But this was supposed to be the year too many times before. As always, the change that got us past that kind of politics. Hillary was must come from the bottom up. It has to start with us. supposed to get us beyond gender. Barack was supposed to get us beyond race.

Oliver Sherouse is a Trinity junior. His column runs Unfortunately what we’ve seen instead is a willingness on the part of both candidates to every other Wednesday.

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the chronicle

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2008 | 15

commentaries

Valentine's Eve

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Valentine’s

THERE is A VAST ••••

Redefining ‘obscenity’ and ‘hypocrisy

Hiring

strippers constitutes wholly unacceptable behavior.” So wrote Professor Emeritus of Political Science Ole Holsti in a letter to The Chronicle last October, echoing a sentiment held by many Duke lacrossebashers. In April 2006, angela czahor President Richard Brodhead claimed that what guest commentary the infamous lacrosse boys did—that is, hiring strippers —was “bad enough.” The Bulletin of Information and Regulations states that “strippers may not be invited or paid to perform at events sponsored by individual students or groups.” Stephen Bryan, associate dean of students and director of judicial affairs, explained the rule, saying “It’s a moral choice.... We made a decision that a stripper at a campus event is something that we don’t want to support.” It seems that many were outraged that some lacrosse students used their own money to legally hire strippers to perform in their own off-campus residence.

Yet on Feb. 3, Duke’s nwn campus was graced with the touring Sex Workers’ Art Show, a two-hour event featuring current or previous sex workers who are “nothing short of artists, innovators and geniuses!” (their own assessment, not mine). This event cost about $3,500 to bring to Duke, and was sponsored by the University and Cultural Funds, Campus Council, Healthy Devils, the Duke Women’s Center, the Women’s Studies Department, Baldwin Scholars, the Program for the Study of Sexualities, Sexual Assault Support Services, Students for Choice and the Student Health Center—many of which are funded by students’ own tuition and other fees.

For those of you lucky enough to miss the show, here’s a rundown. The show’s founder, Annie Oakley, with Crayola-pink hair, announced that we were about to view the “PG-13” version of the show, then warmed up the audience by having everyone stand and yell, “I take it up the butt!” The first performer was glitterfaced Kirk Read, a male prostitute who encouraged the audience to moan along as he described a patron’s fingers and penis in his rectum. Next the obese Miss Dirty Martini stripped (excuse me, “exotically danced”) to “Proud to be an American (God Bless the USA)” eating dollar bills and then pulling strings of them out of her anus, flipping off the audience. (For some reason, it was acceptable for her nipples to be exposed to the audience, while the more corpulent performers had to wear pasties.) Next was the equally hefty World Famous *Bob*, who, after sniffing one of these strings of bills from Dirty’s number and throwing it to the eager crowd, did a stripping routine which culminated with her twirling her nipple-tassels. Lorelei Lee (a porn star who can be seen in such “romantic comedies” as “Gang Bang My Face”) read autobiographical prose which included such anecdotes as the time she let her friend spit in her eyeball and lick it off. Erin Markey described how after her application to Chuck E. Cheese had been rejected, she became a pole dancer, using her sister’s confirmation name as her stage name. She sang a song ridiculing this namesake—Saint Brigid while performing her pole dance for the audience.

9

Keva I. Lee performed a “toned down” dominatrix act, in which she strapped on a dildo and pretended to masturbate it (not with it, mind you, but as if she were a man). Chris Kraus, author of “I Love Dick,” told tales ofher time as a topless dancer. The show’s final act was Krylon Superstar, a transvestite who took off his (her?) tutu to the tune of “America the Beautiful” to reveal “F Bush” (sans censorship) written in tape on his body, only to light a sparkler in his anus and play in a kiddie pool of glitter.

I’d like to say the audience was as appalled as I was, but they were stunningly “into” the show. They were as compliant as puppets, doing whatever was asked of them, screaming with laughter at every joke and enthusiastically applauding each performer who inserted or removed an object from his or her rectum. Many audience members were dressed as though —and there is no better way to describe it—they were Harry Potter characters attempting to blend in with Muggles. I had a momentary internal evaluation of who I stereotyped to be creepier, the “artists” or the viewers.

Unfortunately, the only criterion for determining whether the show returns next year is ostensibly the feedback from surveys handed out at the show, meaning the only perspective heard will be that of these same audience members, enthusiastically calling for a repeat performance.

Even with all this excitement, the most entertaining part of the night was interviewing the brains behind bringing the show to Duke, Martha Bmcato, a junior and member of the Healthy Devils. She described the “unfortunate” circumstances that led the performance to be “toned down” at Duke; our show had been filmed to show the College of William and Mary, the tour’s next stop, to “prove that nothing would be obscene”!

Brucato lamented that the show was “definitely was not as salacious, as up-front and ‘in your face’ as I had heard it was in the past.”

She also described a higher purpose of the show. “Especially in Duke’s environment,” she said, “the sexuality here is so normalized... it’s heterosexual, it’s a party scene, it’s not necessarily long-term monogamous relationships where people are taking care of their health and stuff.... The only way to actually step back and take stock of the way you’re living your life is to experience things that are so different from who you are.” Apparently there was more to the show than each performer trying to outdo the others in lewdness.

When asked about the regulation against groups’ hiring of strippers, Martha replied, “Nobody actually came up to me with a problem about that [during the fundraising process].” She argued that the clause doesn’t apply to this performance, “because they’re not being hired as [sex workers], they’re being hired as artists”—"art” in which six of the eight performances utilized the removal of clothing. If only the Duke lacrosse men’s team had used that excuse!

Apparently, those who suddenly want to “move on” now that the lacrosse tables have turned now have their wish; Duke is welcoming back strippers with open arms and wallets.

—

—

Angela Czahor is a Trinity junior.

Day is tomorrow. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

In a romantic relationship, there are but three days each year for which you will be solely remembered and measured. Her birthday, your anniversary and Valentine’s Day. Together, they are the gauntlet of gift-giving and the unholy trinity of, “But you said you didn’t want anything!”

God help you if they all fall within the same month.

The gifts, the planning and the forethought involved all factor in on these precious benchmark brandon curl days. Unanticipated, spontaneously given flowers back in braff “just because it’s Wednesday” are good and fine, but you may never recover from a botched handling of your girlfriend’s Valentine’s Day —no matter how many times you duct-tape her name outside the BC for display by the Plaza cam.

Tomorrow will mark the sixth time in the last seven years I’ve sported a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. While I’m sure that statement makes my current girlfriend feel so uniquely special, it also means that by now I’ve developed a foolproof technique sure to win over any girl.

And no, it’s not giving her a bouquet of plastic roses with a note that reads, “I’ll love you until the last rose dies.”

(Although, that’s scary good.)

Gentlemen, may I present to you the concept of “Valentine’s Eve.” Today, Feb. 13, 2008 —Valentine’s Eve —is by far the most important day of the year. It is so important that it actually matters more what you do today for your girlfriend than what you do tomorrow.

The entire concept of Valentine’s Eve hinges on the wonderful principle of contrast. Everything tends to seem better when it’s placed next to something awful.

Let’s face it. Franklin Street isn’t that wonderful. It’s less than a couple of blocks long and has more panhandlers than pedestrians. But because we’re used to Ninth Street, we’ve somehow come to imagine the college thoroughfare as the next best thing to Fifth Avenue. v So you don’t have to be Mr. Fifth Avenue to impress your girlfriend. Just make sure her best friend dates Mr. Ninth Street. “Wow, you’re willing to be seen with me in public?!

What a guy...”

In “When Harry Met Sally” {theromantic comedy), Billy Crystal speaks precisely to the principle of contrast. Crystal opines, “I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship. Because eventually things move on and you don’t take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, ‘How come you never take me to the airport anymore?”’

Exactly. They can never get mad at you for stopping a behavior if you never began it in the first place. Here gentlemen, we must stop shooting ourselves in the foot.

No more surprises, no more dates and certainly no more

compliments.

mere 10 days before Valentine’s Day) I surprised my girlfriend with a rose, thoughtful note and two tickets to see “Chicago” in Page Auditorium. What was I thinking?! I could not have been more stupid.

Sure, I might have bought myself some goodwill then, but now my Valentine’s Day preparations will seem far worse by contrast.

But why stop at halting our good behaviors? If we are to truly be wonderful boyfriends, we must act badly toward our girlfriends, especially today on Valentine’s Eve. Today is the day you are required, for the benefit ofyour own survival, to treat your girlfriend like she is Mike Nifong. Put her down. Insult her. And most of all ignore her.

Basically, treat her like you did when you were trying to attract her in the first place.

If your girlfriend is not convinced by the end of the day that not only is she going to dump you, but that she’s considering seeking legal action against you, then you have failed dramatically.

So if you’ll excuse me, I have a personal matter to attend to.

To my wonderful girlfriend, Samantha: I hate you. You smell awful. And I only print your first name because I have forgotten your last.

Happy Valentine’s Eve, Sweetheart!

Just last week (a

Brandon Curl is a Trinity senior. His column runs every other

Wednesday.

THE CHRONICLE

16 | WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2008

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