April 24, 2006

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Panel mulls over health care disparr ties, PAGE 3

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Blue Devils make dramatic comeback to win ACCs, PAGE SWI

DSG to proffer funding liii h|ii .liters, PAGE 3

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THE INDEPENDENT DAILY AT DUKE UNIVERSITY

MONDAY, APRIL 24, 2006

ONE HUNDRED AND FIRST YEAR, ISSUE 140

Lawyers

Law dean plans to step down by

question lax lineup 2nd dancer speaks to national press

Victoria Ward THE CHRONICLE

Katharine Bartlett, dean of Duke’s School of Law, will step down from her post June 30, 2007, Provost Peter Lange announced Friday.

The decision coincides with the law school’s completion of a five-year strategic plan. A search committee for a new dean will be announced within the next few weeks.

“Deanships have a kind of natural

cycle,” Bartlett said. “It seemed like a good time to be out looking for a new leader.”

Since she became dean in 2000, Bartlett has overseen a number of building initiatives at the law school, including the renovation of the law library and SEE BARTLETT ON PAGE 4

WOJCIECHOWSKA

BY IZA THE CHRONICLE

JIANGHAI HO/THE CHRONICLE

When alumnireunited in tent-filled Gothic Wonderland this weekend, conversations quickly turned to the lacrosse scandal.

Alums gather amid scandal by

Rob Copeland

the chronicle

With the national media

spotlight centered squarely on

Duke, Alumni Weekend 2006 took place under the same glare that has accompanied the recent lacrosse scandal.

But several alumni and University officials downplayed the impact of the rape allegations on the weekend’s events and on alumni relations in general.

As tents filled the quadrangles to celebrate the reunions of

classes ending in “1” or “6,” many conversations touched on the media’s portrayal of the University and on the merits of specific accusations surrounding the men’s lacrosse team.

“It is just a typical overreaction of the media,” said Rick Dennerline, Trinity ’7l. “There is a story, but it is not nearly as significant as they made it out to be.”

Angela Bowser, Trinity ’76, also said the media coverage has done Duke no favors.

“It’s bad how this has been out in the public,” she said. “I’m tired of them talking about Duke as an elitist school.”

She also took issue with the implication that her alma mater was complicit in allowing the team to run wild. An April 9 column in The New York Times opined that the administration “appeared to sanction such acts.”

Dowser rejected that type of

played

SEE ALUMNI ON PAGE 6

Blue Dev il passes on his pitchfork by

Results from a second round of DNA tests related to the Duke lacrosse rape scandal will likely not be available until May 15, District Attorney Mike Nifong announced Saturday.

Nifong ordered the DNA samples to be sent to an out-ofstate lab after results from testing done at the State Bureau of Investigation lab came back negative earlier this month.

Members of the men’s lacrosse team are currently under investigation for the alleged sexual assault of an exotic dancer at a March 13 party held at 610 N. Buchanan Blvd.

Several defense lawyers in the case believed the results of the second round of DNA tests were due to come back last week.

Some still believe the results will be available early this week.

May 15 is also the date on which team members Collin Finnerty and Reade Seligmann are scheduled to appear in court.

The sophomores were indicted after the accuser selected the two SEE LACROSSE ON PAGE 5

Molly McGarrett THE CHRONICLE

Not just anyone can balance atop a surfboard while cruising across a sea of Duke University Marching Band members or hold his own in a swarm of Duke cheerleaders.

These are the jobs of the most recognizable of all the Cameron Crazies—the Duke Blue Devil himself.

Tryouts for the 2006-2007 Duke mascot were held Sunday evening in Wilson Recreation Center. Eight students—all of whom were male—jumped, clapped and boogied for a chance to don the Blue Devil costume at next year’s football and basketball games.

Upon arrival, applicants, who have traditionally remained anonymous, were asked to write messages for five possible Duke opponents, including the University of Alabama’s Crimson Tide.

“Tide? I prefer Shout,” was one contestant’s

suggestion.

WEIYITAN/THE CHRONICLE

A Blue Devil hopeful, one of eighttries out the mascot outfit in WilsonRecreation Center Sunday evening.

Tryouts were led by cheerleading coach Sarah Stogner and former Blue Devil mascot SEE MASCOT ON PAGE 8

SYLVIA QU/THE CHRONICLE

District Attorney Mike Nifong said he expects a second round of DNA results wHI come back after May 15.

THE CHRONICLE

2 (MONDAY, APRIL 24, 2006

Bin Laden blasts U.S.-'Zionist' war by

Salah Nasrawi

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Osama bin Laden isCAIRO, Egypt sued new threats in an audiotape broadcast on Arab television Sunday and accused the United States and Europe of supporting a “Zionist” war on Islam by cutting off funds to the Hamas-led Palestinian government.

He also urged followers to go to Sudan, his former base, to fight a proposed U.N. peacekeeping force.

His words, the first new message by the al Qaeda leader in three months, seemed designed to justify potential attacks on civilians—something al Qaeda has been criticized for even by its Arab supporters.

He also appeared to be trying to drum up support among Arabs by accusing the West of targeting Hamas, a militant group that fights against Israel and now heads the Palestinian government.

Citing the West’s decision to cut off aid to the Hamas-led government because it refuses to renounce violence or recognize Israel, bin Laden said Washington and Europe were waging war on Islam.

“The blockade which the West is imposing on the government of Hamas proves that there is a Zionist, crusaders’ war on Islam,” bin Laden said.

President George W. Bush was told about the tape Sunday morning. The intel-

ligence community has informed the White House that it believes the tape is authentic, said Bush’s spokesperson, Scott McClellan.

“The al Qaeda leadership is on the run and under a lot of pressure,” McClellan said at a Marine base in Twentynine Palms, Calif., where Bush was having lunch with military families.

“We are on the advance. They are on the run.”

Al Qaeda is not believed to have direct links to Hamas, which is an outgrowth of the Muslim Brotherhood.

Hamas spokesperson Sami Abu Zuhri was quick to distance the group from bin Laden.

jrg~ Sunday and fired mortars near the Defense Ministry in a spree of violence that killed at least 27 Iraqis as politicians began work on forming a new government.

Gas prices climb across U.S. Retail gas prices across the country jumped an average of nearly a quarter per gallon in the past two weeks, according to a survey released Sunday. Self-serve regular averaged $2.91 a gallon, up from $2.67 two weeks ago, said Trilby Lundberg.

Nepalese violence continues Communist rebels attacked security bases and government buildings overnight in Nepal's mountainous north-central region, officials said Monday. Details were sketchy about the overnight attack at Chautara, but officials reached at neighboring districts confirmed the attack.

Big Easy election results in runoff by

Michelle Roberts

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

NEW ORLEANS In a complete reversal of support from four years ago, Mayor Ray Nagin scored heavily with black voters and was practically abandoned by whites as he and Lt. Gov. Mitch Landrieu won spots in a mayoral runoff election.

The black incumbent, who received most of his support from white voters in the 2002 election, garnered less than 10 percent of the vote Saturday in predominantly white precincts, according to GCR & Associates Inc., a consulting firm analyzing demographic data for the New Orleans

Redevelopment Authority.

But Nagin, who offended many white voters in January when he suggested God wanted New Orleans to remain a “chocolate city,” saw black voters rush to his defense. He received 65 percent or more of the vote in predominandy black neighborhoods, the consultant found.

Landrieu, who is white, finished with 29 percent of the overall vote to Nagin’s 38 percent. He finished second in black neighborhoods to Nagin and second in white neighborhoods to third-place finisher Ron Forman, bolstering his claims that he can help bring together diverse groups

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CIA administers polygraph

to help NewOrleans emerge from the devastation left by Hurricane Katrina.

Landrieu said Sunday that the number of voters who chose candidates other than Nagin demonstrated that voters want change. “This city, this great city, calls for change,” he said.

Nagin, a former cable executive seeking his second term as mayor, said his overall win is an endorsement of his performance and his plans for the city’s future.

“I just feel we’re on the right track, and people have verified that to me,” he said.

The numbers suggest Nagin faces a serious challenge come the May 20 runoff.

In an unusual move, Inspector General John Helgerson, the ClA's independent watchdog, took a polygraph test, officials said Sunday.The test signals the ClA's crackdown on leaks led by Director Porter Goss after the dismissal of a veteran officer last week who leaked classified information.

News briefs compiled from wire reports

"Slow and steady wins the race.

Aesop

Duke University Department of Music

DUKE OPERA WORKSHOP presents an informal reading of

3%e

A new one-act opera by Duke composer Caroline Mallonee based on the story by O. Henry

Monday, April 24

&

Wednesday, April 26

8:00 pm Nelson Music Room, East Duke Building

Free Admission Please note: This is a real workshop!

The evening will begin with a short introduction by composer Caroline Mallonee, followed by the performance of the opera without costume, stage set or movement. At the end, audience members are invited to stay for interaction with the composer and cast, giving input and suggestions.

Duke Opera Workshop is supported by The Mary Duke Biddle Foundation and The John Hanks Fund.

For more information about this or other Department of Music events, please call 660-3333.

THE CHRONICLE

MONDAY, APRIL 24,

20061 3

Expert panel discusses health care disparities by

Victoria Weston THE CHRONICLE

As part of the North Carolina Summit on Health Disparities, a diverse audience gathered Sunday for a play and panel discussion in a Washington Duke Inn & Golf Club ballroom.

Issues to be discussed at the two-day summit—which ends today—include cultural barriers, preventative health measures, minority health care and creating partnerships to advance health equity.

The discussion was held following a performance of a play about an AfricanAmerican family’s experiences with heart disease and health care disparities called, Heart to Heart: Ain’t Your Life Worth Saving.

The play is intended to inspire healthier lifestyle choices among African-American women.

At the conference Sunday, it also inspired dialogue about existing health care disparities on local, statewide and

national levels Panel speakers—comprised of University, government and other academic officials—stressed the need for “cultural competency,” an increased understanding among care providers of the different cultural backgrounds that their patients may have.

Carmen Hooker Odom, secretary of the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services, noted that the socioeconomic factors governing health care also need to be addressed.

“You can’t talk about health disparities if you’re not going to talk about poverty,” she said. “We still have not made the investment as a nation into the kind of public health funding we need.”

Increasing diversity within hospitals was also stressed as a step in the right direction. Dr. Victor Dzau, chancellor for MATT FELTS/THE CHRONICLE

Chancellor Victor Dzau speaks about diversity at theNorth Carolina Summit on Health Disparities Sunday.

SEE HEALTH ON PAGE 6

Student groups to look to DSG for speaker funding by

Katherine Macllwaine THE CHRONICLE

Changes to the Student Organization Finance Committee’s 2006-2007 budget will force several on-campus groups to seek funding from an alternate source.

SOFC Chair Jeff Federspiel, a junior, said the organization was reluctant to finance speakers before they have committed to coming to the University. As a result, campus organizations will be looking to Duke Student Government’s programming fund to bring in future

speakers.

Federspiel added that increases to DSG’s programming fund will offset any budget cuts. Groups can request money from the fund through a year-long rolling application process.

DSG recently passed a resolution that will direct an

extra

$20,000

to

the pro-

gramming fund, bringing the 2006-2007 encouraged him that the ACLU is likely total to $112,175.04. The extra funding to receive programming funds during the was amassed over the past several years upcoming year because it is an active after money budgeted to student groups group on campus. Without SOFC allocations, however, was not approit will be diffipriately rolled over from year cult for th “Calculating funding for the , to year. group to schedf science. SOFC year is not rocket le Federspiel spe akers said the Ameriseems to do a good job at makearly in the secan Civil Libersaid mester, in g things more Complicated ties Union at er ®°. wes a fo than they are.”

Duke and the Chronicle Duke Conservist-, —Senior J Roman col We ative Union will v e be impacted by shown our comthe changes mitment to proACLU President Daniel Bowes, a jun- viding quality programs to Duke stuior and a DSG senator, said providing dents, and we’ve shown that we’ve been public speakers is one of ACLU’s primary responsible with money,” Bowes said. “I roles. He added that members of SOFC don’t have any doubt that we’ll get pro,

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gramming money for that, but that makes it tough.”

Other student leaders said they do not look favorably upon the budget.

DCU President John Korman, a senior, said he was confused by SOFC’s allocation to the organization. He noted that DCU received no money for its website, which Korman described as its biggest publicity tool. And despite SOFC’s new policy of financing fewer speakers through the programming fund, DCU still received $750 for guest speaker Reginald Jones.

“They didn’t fund our website, and that has nothing to do with programming,” Korman said. “Calculating funding for the year is not rocket science.

SOFC seems to do a good job at making SEE SOFC ON PAGE 5

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MONDAY, APRIL 24,

THE CHRONICLE

2006

BARTLETT from page 1 classrooms, as well as a 30,000-square-foot addition for offices.

She has also been responsible for identifying and recruiting well-known faculty members from across the nation.

Although Bartlett said she has enjoyed her deanship, she is eager to return to teaching and research after a one-year sabbatical. “[Duke] is a wonderful place to be in charge of right now, but it is not my lifelong ambition,” she said.

Bardett’s peers praised her ability to foster collaboration among professors. John Wester, Law ’72 and a member of the law school’s Board of Visitors, said Bartlett’s record of leadership has brought great credit to the institution.

“I am comforted that her stepping down from the deanship will allow for her resumption of her love for full-time teaching at the law school to which she means so much,” Wester said.

Jerry Peppers, Law ’7l, attributes Bartlett’s achievements to her “just do it” personality, noting that her “internal focus” brought the law school together.

“Dean Bartlett is a scholar and an academic,” he said. “This is something she did because of her love for the law school.”

Bartlett, however, credits timing for her successes.

“I came along at a time when the school was poised to have the resources and the fortuity to attract some great new faculty,” she said. “I was in the right place at the right time.”

Bartlett, who has been on the tenuretrack at Duke since 1983, holds degrees from Wheaton College, Harvard University, and the University of California at

Berkeley.

Prior to coming to Duke, she was a law clerk on the California Supreme Court and a legal services attorney in Oakland, California.

Although she will not serve on the search committee to find a new dean, Bartlett said she hopes the new dean will have an ambitious strategic plan and will work well with deans and professors both inside and outside the Duke community.

“I think the school needs a scholar of some national reputation who ii institutionally minded and understands the needs and dynamics of a good, healthy, academic institution,” she said.

Although Bartlett will serve for another 14 months, she said she thinks the law school will be ready for new leadership within a year.

“I feel that it will be the best year ever for this school,” she said. “I’m excited to continue some things we’ve started together.”

The Sarah P. Duke Gardens and Nasher Museum of Art

Community Open House Saturday, April 29, 2006 from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.

THE

AND

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Spend the day enjoying two of Duke's most popular and visually stunning attractions. The Sarah P. Duke Gardens and the Nasher Museum of Art have teamed up to present a special day of he day will include adult dren's activities and live Ming for all ages.

DUKE-

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2006 NC Festival of the Book

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THE CHRONICLE

LACROSSE

MONDAY, APRIL 24,

2006 5

SOFC from page 3

from page 1

players with 100-percent certainty from a photographic police line-up. Police arrested the pair April 18.

According to a 15-page prosecutor’s report obtained

by Newsweek, the accuser viewed a PowerPoint presentation with photographs of 46 team members and was asked to identify her alleged assailants. The report stated that the woman was certain Seligmann forced her to perform oral sex on him and that Finnerty raped and sodomized her.

She identified a third, unnamed, team member as one of her assailants with 90-percent certainty. The individual maybe indicted when the grand jury reconvenes May 1.

Several defense lawyers have expressed concern about the identification procedure, deeming it unorthodox or unconstitutional because all of the photographs shown were ofmembers of the team. Typical procedure usually involves interspersing suspects’ pictures among those ofpeople unrelated to the case.

Legal experts, however, said that although the process of identification was perhaps not ideal, no laws were necessarily violated.

“I would be very surprised if this would be found to be a violation of due process,” said Duke Law Professor Robert Mosteller, who teaches courses related to evidence and criminal procedure. “There are better ways to do any of this, but one of the questions in constitutional law is that if it’s not the best method, it doesn’t mean it’s unconstitutional.”

Mosteller added that a typical photo array includes suspects who look alike, and the line-up consisting of lacrosse players’ photographs followed this rule by representing people of roughly the same age, sex, race and general appearance. The photographs were also taken around the same time.

Although the defense may try to use the flawed identification process to their advantage, Mosteller said it will be difficult for them to win that argument because of lenient legal precedent.

“The weakness of it is obvious. The point that [the lawyers] make is a good one —that it’s all the Duke team,” Mosteller said. “[But] the law is incredibly forgiving. Almost never is something like this found unconstitutional.”

Mosteller added that in the event that the results of the out-of-court identification process are thrown out, the accuser will not be allowed to identify the suspects in court In a recent

exclusive interview with The Associated Press, Kim Roberts, the second exotic dancer present at the lacrosse team’s party, said she doubted the players’ denial of wrongdoing. Roberts said, however, that she did not witness any sexual assault.

“In all honesty, I think they’re guilty,” Roberts told The AP. “I can’t say which ones are guilty... but somebody did something besides underage drinking.”

She has also told reporters that the accuser looked “absolutely fine” when she arrived at the party but seemed under the influence of some sort of substance when the two women left the party.

Roberts was arrested eight days after the lacrosse party on a probation violation. She was convicted in 2001 of embezzling money.

She also confirmed to The AP that she recently emailed a public relations firm in New York that specializes in “crisis communication.”

“Why shouldn’t I profit from it?” she asked, The Associated Press contributed to this story.

TOM MENDEL/THE CHRONICLE

Defense lawyers, such as Bill Cotter above, have questioned the process through whichtheir clients have been identifiedas suspects.

things more complicated than they are.”

Federspiel said funding for public speakers from the general budget will not be curtailed immediately.

“We’re trying to gradually change the allocation, so they aren’t thrown into ice water,” he said.

Korman also drew attention to a second major change in this year’s budget—an increase in funds to traveling academic groups.

“DCU has a budget that’s about half as much as the chess club,” he said.

Junior Matthew Hoekstra, a member of the chess club and a DSG senator, said he was glad that academic groups were receiving attention for their accom-

plishments.

He said the chess club finished among the top collegiate chess clubs this year.

Federspiel cited Duke Model United Nations and Duke Moot Court as other traveling academic groups that will receive more money in the upcoming year. teams for national

SOFC Chair Jeff Federspiel presents an update to DSG earlier this year.

Student groups will now have to go to DSG to obtain fundsfor speakers.

THE CHRONICLE

6 I MONDAY, APRIL 24, 2006

HEALTH from page 3 health affairs and president and CEO of Duke University Health System, noted the School of Medicine’s recent efforts to increase diversity at all levels, from students to administrators.

“We have pushed very hard to ensure that our leadership and our employees reflect diversity,” he said. “If you put people of diversity in leadership positions, you are more likely to effect change.”

Dr. Kevin Thomas, cardiovascular disease fellow at the School of Medicine, complimented the efforts of Dr. Brenda Armstrong, director of admissions for the School of Medicine, to diversify the student body.

Thomas also suggested that students spend time in underserved areas to become more culturally aware.

During a question and answer session following the discussion, audience members raised the need for quick action and increased equity in contemporary health care.

“Our house is on fire now,” said Deborah King, an audience member and vice president of sales and marketing for Empatha, Inc. “Black people are dying now.

What can we do to get better health care now?”

The resolution of these types of problems may ultimately stem from partnerships at all levels, Dzau said.

“I’m hoping that at the end, it is a public-private partnership that will be able to address this,” he said.

“We need a healthy dialogue.”

Still, Dzau noted that he is well aware of the obstacles that remain, including the need for increased trust among Duke and community members.

“I think we have a long way to go,” Dzau said. “The worst thing that can happen is that we talk about this and do nothing about it.”

Ranga Krishnan, professor and chair of the department of psychiatry at the School of Medicine, and Theodore Parrish, associate professor for the department of health education at North Carolina Central University were also panel speakers.

see news happening on campus? e-mail steve (savl9) or saidi (scs3)

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ALUMNI from page 1 description.

“It’s not the school. It’s the individual players,” she said.

The University, which has an open campus, made an effort to inform alumni about the risks involved in talking to the media in an alumni welcome packet, said John Burness, senior vice president for public affairs and government relations.

Dennerline recalled issues with “the culture” of the lacrosse team from his days in college. “Lacrosse players have always been a bit out there,” he said.

He added that it was surprising that some of the tension between Duke and Durham had not been ironed out in the 35 years since his graduation.

The lacrosse situation was addressed repeatedly throughout the weekend’s activities.

President Richard Brodhead had to stop his “State of the University” speech for a half-hour Saturday to take specific questions from the crowd of nearly 100 alumni who had gathered in Page Auditorium.

“It was convenient to throw the lacrosse team overboard along with their coach,” said Joe Baden, Engineering ’7O, at the speech.

Baden asked whether the University and Brodhead would have done the same to men’s basketball head coach Mike Krzyzewski.

“I don’t think they would have,” Baden said.

Brodhead addressed the disciplinary action the school has taken against the two players who have been charged with rape. The University has not directly confirmed that the two have been suspended. Federal laws prohibit administrators from releasing information about student disciplinary affairs.

“We really asked ourselves, on the matter of interim suspension, ‘How do we do these things?”’ Brodhead told a questioner. ‘The custom of this place, I assure you it is the custom of many places, on indictment for a felony... that’s the way to go with it, and that’s the way we did it this time.”

It was not unexpected for alumni to want the administration to speak to the lacrosse situation, Burness said.

“It’s no different from when [Brodhead] spoke with prospective students,” he added, noting the reception from the crowd was positive.

Still up for debate is whether the allegations had an effect on attendance at Alumni Weekend or ifthey will have an effect on donations in the future.

It is too early to tell on both counts, said Peter Vaughn, executive director of alumni and development communications.

“I was only aware offour or five people actually writing and asking, ‘ls it safe to come here?’” he said, adding that the University assured them it was safe.

Pre-registration was higher than in any other year, and Vaughn estimated a total turnout in excess of 3,500—although Saturday’s rain may have depressed walk-up attendance.

He has also seen “no quantifiable effect” on donations in the short term, in part because giving is often motivated by the cumulative effects of several events.

“If we were in difficult situations month after month, year after year—that would be a great cause for concern,” Vaughn said.

This is not the first time controversial University news has been in the national radar—last year’s on-campus Palestine Solidarity Movement conference and 2003’s transplant mix-up at Duke University Hospital attracted attention.

But Vaughn said neither event eclipses the current lacrosse scandal.

His office alone has received more than a thousand emails from alumni and parents, on top of the several thousand that Burness said his office has received in recent weeks.

The majority have been supportive, both said.

“It’s a good thing when people take the time to say things to us, whether they’re negative or positive. It means they care about the place,” Vaughn explained.

Out of approximately 250 negative responses, twothirds have criticized Brodhead for rushing to judge the team, while one-third have said the administration did not act fast enough, Vaughn added.

“My sense is that people who have supported Duke Athletics will continue to support it,” Vaughn said.

The Associated Press contributed to this article.

please check us out online at www.dukechronicle.com

FORCES HURRICANE MIAMI WINS WOMEN S TENNIS PAGE 4

ASEBAIL WINS ROAD SERIES HE WES FROM UCTHACE VIRGINIA TECH PAGE 2

IN

TWO

the chronicle

rap I 24, 2006

SPRING FORWARD Ted Roofs football team wrapped up its spring practice season with an intrasquad scrimmage Saturday afternoon. C

AMRITRAJ'S WIN GIVES DUKE ACC TITLE by

Anand Sundaram THE CHRONICLE

CARY— With Stephen Amritraj’s match—and the ACC Championship—on the line Sunday, all of Duke and Virginia’s players formed a line on the adjacent court to watch the final set that would break the tie.

After senior Ludovic Walter had leveled the match at 3-3, crowds swarmed to watch the No. 6 singles match and see if Duke could complete an improbable comeback from a 3-0 deficit.

VIRGINIA 3 During the final DUKE 4 match, Amritraj attacked the net and

FSU

2 5

played aggressively

give himself a match point, up 5-2 in the third set.

The senior VA.TECH J_ struck a baseline 4 shot to the oppoDUKE site side of his opponent, Nick Meythaler, and charged the net. Meythaler, who was on the run, forced up a shot that landed wide of the sideline.

As the ball dropped, Amritraj let go of his racquet and collapsed to the floor, with screaming teammates jumping all over him.

Amritraj’s victory gave Duke (20-6) the 4-3 win and avenged the Blue Devils’ April 16 loss to the Cavaliers (21-8).

“That’s probably the most exciting win I’ve ever been a part of,” assistant coach Ramsey Smith said. “The last few years, Virginia dominated the ACC and dominated us. It was great to see [our players] rise to the next level. That was our goal in September, to win the ACC tournament. It was awesome.”

Earlier in the weekend, the top-seeded Blue Devils defeated No. 9 seed Virginia Tech (13-15) and No. 5 seed Florida State (17-11), 4-1 and 4-2, respectively, to advance to the tide game.

In the pivotal match Sunday, Amritraj, up a set, had an array of break-point chances at 4-4 in the second, but he could

DUKE

to

close out the match “I was just so unbelievably nervous and tight at that point, and I played some really bad points,” Amritraj said.

In the third set, Amritraj went for his shots and played the best tennis of the match, Smith said.

Duke lost matches early in normally strong positions. In singles, freshman Kiril Dimitrov was defeated handily in straight sets. His teammate, sophomore Peter Rodrigues, entered the match with a remarkable 21-3 dual-match record, but he also fell easily in two sets, 6-1, 6-2.

“I thought things looked pretty bleak at that point,” head coach Jay Lapidus said. “I can’t recall a match when we were down 30 and came back.”

With the Blue Devils one point away from defeat, No. 2 senior Jonathan Stokke, ranked 58th nationally, paved the way for a Duke comeback.

Stokke broke 45th-ranked Rylan Rizza to go up 6-5 in the first set. In frustration, Rizza smashed his racquet twice on the ground and received a game penalty, effectively giving Stokke the first set. The Blue Devil proved his victory was not a fluke and claimed the second set, 64.

“I served out ofmy mind, absolutely out ofmy mind,” Stokke said. “It was windy, the courts were slow and normally, that wreaks havoc on my game. I won a lot of free points on my serve and it really helped other parts of my game.”

Stokke received Most Valuable Player honors for his performance throughout the ACC Championships. He won all three of his singles matches.

Junior Joey Atas followed Stokke with some of the best tennis he has played all year, Smith said. Atas fought through some difficulty in the second and took the set and the match, 7-6 (4), 6-4.

“I was telling myself to put pressure on the guy and that’s basically all I did—just not

SEE M. TENNIS ON PAGE 7

93V S.N3W SIHNU dIHSNOIdWUHO lUeg siuuai J91U33 apil

•

Has H O «Mn

ALYSSA KAHN/THE CHRONICLE

Senior Stephen Amritraj won his No. 6singles match 6-3,6-7 (6), 6-2, to clinch the championship for Duke.

2

MONDAY, APRIL 24,

SPORTSWRAP

2006

BASEBALL

Duke wins 2nd ACC road series of the season by

Tim Britton

THE CHRONICLE

One year after losing all 18 of its road games, Duke won its second consecutive ACC road series this weekend. The Blue Devils (14-30, 6-15 ACC) exploded for 29 runs in three games to take two of three from Virginia DUKE 10 Tech in Blacksburg Va VATECH “It’s a great win for us to take DUKE 15 two out of three in an ACC series,” ■J VA TECH head coach Sean McNally said. “To DUKE do it on the road g says a lot for this VATECH team and for our maturity and growth.”

Duke responded to an 8-4 loss Friday night with two of its best offensive efforts of the year, combining for 25 runs and 33 hits in the two wins. The Blue Devils used the long ball Sunday, capitalizing on home runs byJimmy Gallagher, Brett Bardes and Adam Murray to win the rubber game, 10-9.

Gallagher’s blast to right, his second in as many games, punctuated a four-run fourth inning that broke the game open.

Duke had already scored twice in the frame on a single by Matt Williams and a sacrifice bunt by Daniel Palmer before Gallagher’s two-run shot made it 5-0.

“We did a lot of things well,” McNally said. “Obviously we scored a bunch of runs—we manufactured some runs, we stole some bases, we hit some balls out of the park.”

IT

'

JESSICA SCHREIBER/THE CHRONICLE

Sophomore shortstop Brett Bartles was one of threeBlue Devils to homer in Duke's win Sunday in Blacksburg.

The middle of the order sparked another rally in the fifth. Javier Socorro led off the inning with a single and scored on Jonathan Nicolla’s double. Murray’s second hit of the game moved Nicolla to third before Williams drove him in with another RBI single for a 7-0 advantage.

The Hokies (17-24, 3-18 ACC) batded back with four runs off Duke starter Tony Bajoczky (2-8) in the bottom of the inning,

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but Battles led off the sixth with his seventh homer of the season to push the advantage to 84. After Virginia Tech again rallied in the bottom of the inning to cut the margin to 8-6, Murray put an exclamation point on his day with a solo shot to left.

Duke added its 10th and final run in the eighth on a Nicolla RBI single. Ryan Perry earned his first save of the season, limiting the Hokies to one run in the ninth.

Sunday’s offensive execution came on the heels of Saturday’s fireworks. The Blue Devils romped the Hokies, 15-1, recording their second-highest run total of the season.

Duke took control early, plating five runs in the second and six in the third to quickly put the game out of reach.

In die second, Nicolla and Williams’ doubles and an error led to the first run. Daniel Palmer followed with a two-run single to make it 3-0. Gallagher then crushed his fourth homer of the season for a 5-0 lead.

The third inning was less about Duke’s offense and more about the Hokies’ lack of control on the mound. Three Virginia Tech pitchers combined to walk six Blue Devils, including four with the bases loaded, each forcing in a run. Nate Freiman added a two-RBI single in the six-run frame.

The 11 runs were more than enough for starting pitcher Jonathan Anderson (3-5), who held the Hokies to a Nate Parks solo homer over eight innings. He struck out four while walking none.

“Jonathan kept them off balance the whole game,” McNally said. “We scored some runs and that always helps, but he was able to breeze through eight innings, and that’s tough to do in this league.”

Freiman, a freshman designated hitter, attributed the team’s offensive explosion to a meeting prior to Saturday’s game.

“We reviewed our entire approach to hitting and it was really helpful to go over that,” Freiman said. “Coach McNally says hitting is contagious, and once a couple people started swinging, that really set the tone for the rest of our hitters.”

s PORTSWRAP

MONDAY, APRIL 24,

2006 3

MEN'S GOLF

Blue Devils finish Bth, fail to defend ACC title Lane Towery THE CHRONICLE

by

Ryan Blaum shot his way to three straight rounds under par, but his play was only good enough for sixth place as he and the Blue Devils failed to defend the individualand team titles at this weekend’s ACC Championship at the Old North State Club at Uwharrie Point in New London, N.C. After winning just a year ago, the Blue Devils’ posted a 2-over-par 866 to finish 33 strokes behind co-leaders North Carolina and Georgia Tech in this year’s tournament. Duke finished in eighth place out of 11 teams.

“I didn’t expect anyone to shoot the types of numbers Carolina and Georgia Tech did,” head coach Rod Myers said. “It’s disappointing to be beat by so many teams.”

Duke, ranked 16th nationally, never made a serious run at the top of the leaderboard, finishing the first day in seventh place. After playing 5-over par in a second round that was delayed twice and spanned two days because of thunderstorms, the Blue Devils rallied Sunday.

But their 2-under-par mark still left the team at 2-over par for the tournament—a disappointing finish considering just three ACC teams rank higher than Duke.

“It was almost a simple thing for us—a lack of good putting,” Myers said. “We didn’t see the ball go in much.”

Blaum, a senior who is ranked seventh in the country, carded a 3-under-par 69 in his

final round to vault himself from 16th to sixth place.

“Ryan hit the ball very well,” Myers said.

“Sixty-nine was probably the worst he could have shot.”

The defending ACC champions finished at 6-under par with rounds of 70, 71 and 69 on the par-72 course.

“I know it was disappointing for him not to get anything going,” Myers said. “He just needed a few more birdies.”

Jake Grodzinsky, ranked 19th in the nation, also saved his best for last, carding a 2under-par 70 in the final round to finish in a tie for 28th place at 1-over par.

Heading into the final 18 holes Sunday, sophomore Michael Schachner and freshman Clark Klaasen held identical score cards, and they ended up finishing the tournament one stroke apart. Schachner finished in 34th place at 3-over par, while Klaasen came in a tie for 35th at 4-over for the tournament.

The results were a far cry from last year’s effort, when Duke’s top four finishers placed Ist, 4th and two tied for 24th.

“It’s extremely disappointing,” Myers said. “Essentially we had all the the same guys back from last year.”

Myers remained confident that his squad, which has won two tournaments this season, would qualify for the NCAA Championship without trouble.

“This was certainly a down week for us,” he said. “We just need to regroup, be positive, and work on the putting greens.”

TOM

MENDEL/THE CHRONICLE

A year after Ryan Blaum's first-place finish led Duke to victory, the Blue Devils placed eighth at the ACCs.

4

(MONDAY,

SPORTSWRAP

APRIL 24, 2006

WOMEN'S TENNIS

Blue Devils fall to Miami in ACC semifinals by

Michael Moore THE CHRONICLE

CHAPEL HILL Duke had all sorts of weather problems Saturday—both thunderstorms and Hurricanes.

The second-seeded Blue Devils (17-7) fell, 4-2, to No. 3 seed Miami (19-6) in the semifinals of the ACC Championships Saturday, a day after rolling over seventh-seeded Wake Forest (13-9), 4-0, in the quarterfinals.

Due to continj ued rain Saturda MIAMI DUKE 12 the match was moved from the Cary Tennis CenWAKE ter to North CarDUKE olina’s Cone-Kenfield Tennis Center, and it began nearly six hours after the scheduled start time.

The Hurricanes, who had beaten Duke in the final match of the regular season, gained momentum by pulling out a 7-4 tiebreaker win in the second doubles position to capture the first point of the match.

Miami took the No. 1 doubles match, 8but it looked as if Duke could complete 1, two comebacks at the second and third positions. After trailing 4-1, freshmen Jessi Robinson and Tara Iyer stormed back and broke the Hurricanes’ serve to send the match to a tiebreaker. The tiebreaker was equally as tight, but the Blue Devil freshmen took the last two points to win the match, 9-8 (5), and place the doubles point in the hands of the No. 2 pair.

That team of freshman Melissa Mang and senior Jackie Carleton trailed most of its match but secured two late breaks to

also force a tiebreaker. There, the duo jumped out to a 3-2 advantage, but Miami’s Monika Dancevic and Audrey Banada won five of the next six points to take the match and the crucial doubles point.

The letdown of the failed team comeback attempt may have carried over into the singles competition, head coach Jamie Ashworth said. Iyer and Robinson each quickly fell behind a set at the No. 4 and No. 6 singles positions, respectively.

“Two of our three freshmen came out and lost the first set, 6-0, so I think they were emotionally down a little bit after doubles,” Ashworth said. “Our goal all year, after winning or losing the doubles point, is to get a singles win quickly. And instead we got down two first sets.”

Iyer and Robinson both fell in their second sets, giving Miami a 3-0 advantage.

Mang won, 6-1, 7-5, at the third spot and sophomore Clelia Deltour triumphed, 7-5, 6-0, at the No. 5 position to pull Duke within one. Audra Cohen, the secondranked player in the nation, however, clinched the Hurricanes’ trip to the finals, overcoming a hot start by Daniela Bercek, ranked fourth nationally, to take the No. 1 match, 3-6, 6-3, 6-2.

After making the ACC finals every year from 1988-2004, the Blue Devils have now been knocked out by the Hurricanes the last two years, with last season’s defeat coming in the quarterfinals.

This year’s match featured a very intense atmosphere in which three unsportsmanlike conduct point penalties were assessed —two SEE W. TENNIS ON PAGE 7

WEIYITAN/THE CHRONICLE

Freshman Melissa Mang reboundedfrom a tiebreaker loss in doublesto take the No. 3 singles match, 6-1,7-5.

WOMEN'S LACROSSE

Scoring barrage lifts Duke past 2 opponents gave up four goals in 45 minutes of play.

Against St. Joseph’s (4-9), Huether imSenior Day was all fun and games for proved on her Friday performance and the Blue Devils as they throttled St. held the Hawks scoreless in the first half while only giving up one goal on the game.

Joseph’s, 24-2, in their most lopsided contest of the season Sunday.

On the opposite end of the field, St. With top-ranked Duke (14-1) up 19-1 Joseph’s had no answers for the Blue Devearly in the second half, head coach Ker- ils’ attack. With 18 minutes left in the first stin Kimel playful- half, junior attacker Leigh Jester swung ST. JOSEPH S| 2 iy grave into her around the net and fired in one of her 24 goalkeeper three goals to put Duke ahead 5-0.

DUKE The Blue Devils’ run carried on Megan Huether’s wish to throughout the first half as they scored at four-year -q DUKE take the field as will on the Hawks. Even though St. W&M 8 an attacker. After Joseph’s did not offer much competition a St. Joseph’s for the nation’s No. 1-team,Kimel said the Huether blasted a free possession game gave her team a chance to prepare penalty, shot into the back of the net to push for the ACC Championship.

“I think that it gave us the opportunity Duke’s lead to 20-1.

“I’ve been begging coach to put me on to run through some of our offenses the field the last four years,” Huether said. against other defenses that don’t know ex“So that was a gift to me for senior day. I alactly what we are doing,” Kimel said. “We wanted to be field were able to work on some specific things a player.” ways “In high school, I played half and half a like make some adjustments coming out of lot,” she said. “Then, they stuck me in the halftime, and that’s what we were looking goal when I got here. It’s been my dream to do heading into next week and the ACCs. It also afforded us the opportunity to be able to do this.”

The Blue Devils’ blowout victory was to play everybody.”

When the Blue Devils came out ofhalftheir second of the weekend as they crushed William & Mary (9-6) on the road time, they continued to dominate St. Friday, 19-8. Duke was led by senior attack- Joseph’s. Freshman midfielder Carolyn er Katie Chrest, who netted six goals for the Davis and junior attacker Kristen Waagbo third time in her career and the seventh scored the first two goals of the half. The time in Duke history.

SEE W. LAX ON PAGE 7 In the net against the Tribe, Huether by

ANTHONY CROSS/THE

CHRONICLE

Juniorattacker Kristen Waagbo scored three goals in limited playing time against St. Joseph's Sunday.

Sean Moroney THE CHRONICLE

MONDAY, APRIL 24,

SPORTSWRAP

springpractice

FOOTBALL

2006 5

GAME NOTES

TRENDS Missive Defeme: The unit recorded nine tackles for loss, including four sacks. Patrick Bailey and Alex Williams each recovered a fumble, and the defense could have had even more turnovers, as the secondary dropped two interceptions.

•

Poor Red lorn off—to; The Blue Devil offense made three trips inside the 20-yard line but came away with just one touchdown.

The first two trips saw Duke’s offense go backwards and yielded just one field goal.

•

TIAN, QINZHENG/THE CHRONICLE

Quarterback Zack Asack, a rising sophomore, took over the starting duties at his position after Mike Schneider struggled in the early part of last season.

Good HeaHb: After being unable to hold a spring game last year because of the high number of injuries, only two players were •

Asack leads offense m by

Matthew Iles

THE CHRONICLE

After a failed reverse attempt on the first play of the intrasquad spring game Saturday, fans who came to see if Duke could improve on its 1-10 mark from last season were already groaning.

But by the end of the 35-play scrimmage in Wallace Wade Stadium, the Blue Devils would leave the field with some reasons for the Duke faithful to be hopeful this fall.

“There were some good things on both sides of the ball today,” head coach Ted Roof said. ‘You want to see good things

ARMANDO

HUARINGA/THE CHRONICLE

Re'quan Boyette scored a touchdown on the final play of the spring game Saturday at Wallace Wade.

spring

out of both sides. You don’t want one side to

dominate the other side, and that didn’t

happen.”

The game used a modified scoring system, which allowed either Duke’s offense or defense to score on a given play. Trailing the defensive squad by five with one play from scrimmage left, the Blue Devil offense stood eight yards away from the end zone.

Re’quan Boyette took the handoff heading left, scampered down the sideline and dove toward the pylon. The crowd awaited as the referees considered the correct call. On the final play in game uniforms before next season’s first matchup against Division I-AA Richmond, Boyette was awarded the touchdown, giving the Blue Devil offense a 38-37 victory.

Throughout the game, one of the focal points of Duke’s offense was quarterback Zack Asack. The rising-sophomore, who will enter next season as the team’s starting signal caller, showed increased composure leading the Blue Devils’ attack.

In the 7-on-7 passing skeletons before the full-contact scrimmage, Asack connected for three touchdowns on three consecutive plays from 20 yards out. Building on that, Asack said he felt comfortable throughout the simulated game.

“I was just going to have fun,” Asack said. “I was just trying to make plays and get the ball moving. That was pretty much my goal.”

Asack and halfback Ronnie Drummer fumbled the exchange on the opening play of the game, but the quarterback went on to complete 4-of-7 passes and totaled 59 yards. Asack credited the offensive line for their improved play Saturday. The offensive line was terrific and gave the quarterbacks plenty of time, he said. Roof had

game

named this area of the team as one that needed improvement earlier during the spring season.

“We got better there, too,” Roof said of the offensive line. “Is it still a concern? Yes. But we’ve made some strides and we just got to keep going. Like I said, this is a work in progress, and we got to stay the course.”

This weakness was exploited by the defense at times, as the unit recorded nine tackles for loss during the course of the 35play scrimmage. One of these was a sack by redshirt freshman and five-star recruit Wince Oghobaase.

Oghobaase, a defensive lineman, was highly touted last spring but injured his knee on the fifth day of practice, preventing him in participating in the 2005 campaign. Saturday’s simulated game was the first time Oghobaase has seen action with a Duke jersey on.

“It’s been a hell of a run this spring,” the 6-foot-10, 310-pound Houston native said. “I’ve been out for over a year and me coming back was a great blessing.

Out here with my teammates, being able to compete again and just the camaraderie of the team.”

With 100 days until the start of the 2006 season, the team is looking for its first winning season since 1994. The Blue Devils will host seven home games this year and hope to improve on a winless ACC record last season. The team said it will use the scrimmage as a stepping-stone for future success.

“It’s definitely a motivator, doing this well [in the scrimmage],” Asack said. “We just got to work hard in the off-season, build up our endurance and strength, and prepare to have a championship season

injured during this spring.

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6

(MONDAY,

APRIL 24, 2006

SPORTSWRAP

ROWING

Blue Devils race to 2nd place at ACCs BY

Tian, Qinzheng THE CHRONICLE

CLEMSON, S.C. The rowing team put on its best performance of the season at the seventh annual ACC Championship Saturday at Lake Hartwell in Clemson, S.C., taking second place with 43 team points.

TIAN, QINZHENG/THE CHRONICLE No. 11 Virginia—which has lost only two individual Duke garnered 43 points andfinished second to Virginia at theACC Championships this weekend, led by a second-place finishfrom the varsity eight. events in the history of the ACC Championship—captured its seventh consecutive tide with 60 points off victories in all four events. Miami, which finished with 34 points, followed runner-up Duke, with Clemson, Boston College and North Carolina rounding out the field.

“It is very exciting,” assistant coach Emily Egge said.

“Overall as a team, I think this is probably die best performance our team has ever had in the ACCs.” The Blue Devils’ varsity eight challenged the Cavaliers but lost to the two-time NCAA champion by just 0.9 seconds. The Duke crew had a very quick start and managed to stay with Virginia throughout the first 1500 meters.

The Cavaliers, however, made a hard push at the last 500-meter mark and established its advantage. Despite the K IU Blue Devils’ effort to catch up, the Cavaliers carried the tlead to the finish line with a time of 6:30.00. Duke finished 6:30.09—its best time of the season—leaving third-place it/ o Miami seven seconds behind.

“With the varsity eight having that tight racing experiV & ence, knowing that they are capable of going that speed is just a huge confidence builder,” said head coach Robyn 4 Homer, who was named ACC Coach of the Year Saturday.

Qe* STI) Located in the Bell Tower Dorm on East Campus. “[NCAA Regionals] is still a huge task for us. Coming off this weekend, it makes that much more tangible.”

The second varsity eight has shown improvement since its first regatta at the ACC/Big Ten Challenge, where the boat finished last. The young crew of five freshmen, three sophomores and one junior finished second with a time of 06:50.8, 14 seconds behind Virginia and five seconds ahead of third place, ACC-newcomer Boston College.

Starting at the third position, the Blue Devils used the second 500 meters to move up into second and they remained aggressive for the rest of the course.

“We really came together in the last two weeks,” junior coxswain Katie Tobin said. “We used the two weeks of really intense training to bond physically as well as mentally.”

The mental preparation has played a pivotal role in the success of the crew. A much stronger boat chemistry has been nurtured in the past several weeks, which enabled the young boat to capture the second-place finish, sophomore Iraina Miles said.

In the varsity four race, the Blue Devils finished in third place at 7:46.5, behind Virginia and Clemson, adding six points to Duke’s total.

“They are, extremely talented,” Egge said of the varsifour.

“Everyday we go out on the water, they make ty huge improvements. They had a fantastic race and they really brought themselves to an entire new level in this sport today.”

Due to injuries and a limited number ofrowers, the Blue Devils did not race in the novice eight race. The event, which provides six team points, was also won by Virginia.

Sophomore Lia Hart and seniors Tonia Boock and Caroline Wray were selected to the All-ACC team.

The Blue Devils will travel to Miami this week for a dual meet with the Hurricanes before competing at the NCAA Regionals May 12 to 14 in Oak Ridge, Tenn.

This year, the Central and South Regionals will be combined for the first time, which may heighten the challenge for the Blue Devils in advancing to the NCAA Championships, Horner said.

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W.LAX from page 4

The Blue Devils’ wide open lead afforded Kimel the opportunity to play many of her reserves and give her seniors ample playing time in their final regular season home game. With so many starters and reserves coming in and out of the game, the scoring was spread out as 12 players scored at least one goal.

Duke has a bye in the first round of the ACC Championship, but will resume play in the semifinals Friday. Last season, the Blue Devils captured the ACC Championship in a 9-6 win over Virginia.

Hawks, however, finally got on the scoreboard when sophomore Christina Colangelo took a pass from freshman Karen Wiley and scored her team’s first goal to make the score 17-1.

St. Joseph’s only managed one more score in the half, and the Blue Devils went on to win 24-2. Sophomore Rachel Shack and freshman Jessica Mcßride recorded the first goals of their respective careers.

W. TENNIS from page 4 to Duke’s Carleton and one to Miami’s

ALYSSA KAHN/THE CHRONICLE

Junior JoeyAtas pulled theBlue Devils to within one point with his 7-6 (4), 6-4 victory at the No. 4 spot.

M. TENNIS from page 1 play my game,” Atas said.

His teammate Walter was in a baseline batde at 5-5 with Virginia’s Somdev Devvarman, ranked 13th nationally. The 6thranked senior, however, was too experiencedfor Virginia’s top-ranked player and stole the next two games to win the match.

His victory tied the ACC finals, 3-3.

“It was funny to see how both handled [the set],” Smith said. “[Walter’s] a senior, he’s been in tight situations, and he’s played tour events. His level went up a couple of notches.”

Duke completed its comeback this year after failing in a similar situation in the 2005 regular season. When Amritraj played Virginia last year, the senior found himself in a third set—against Rizza at the

time—with the team score at three

apiece. Though Amritraj held a 3-2 lead in the set, he could not capture the fourth victory for the Blue Devils.

Soon after his loss against Virginia, Amritraj suffered a tom ACL, which prevented him from playing the remainder of Duke’s season. The injury gave him time to think about the match.

“Everyday I was picturing that match against Rylan and thought about what I could’ve done differently,” Amritraj said.

“I just wanted that chance again really badly.”

Amritraj got the job done in his final year at Duke and won, 6-3, 6-7 (6), 6-2.

The win gave Lapidus his 11th ACC Championship in 14 years with the Blue Devils.

“It feels amazing,” Amritraj said. “I feel really happy for the guys on our team.”

20061 1

Cohen. Cohen received her penalty for arguing a call after she was overruled twice on balls she incorrecdy called out, one ofwhich was a potential match point.

Carleton received her first for throwing down her racket following the doubles tiebreaker loss. The senior picked up the second penalty in the third set ofher singles match after loudly inquiring as to whether the line judge had attended Miami.

“The one in doubles was just frustration from losing—coming back and being up in the tiebreaker and then losing,” Ashworth said. “She’s been able to batde back from that all year. She’s a very emotional player, and she has been able to channel that into some positive things.”

Such frustration was not as present in Duke’s victory over Wake Forest Friday at the Cary Tennis Center. Although the Blue Devils struggled in doubles, the top pair of

Bercek and Jennifer Zika came back from a 7-4 deficit to secure the doubles point for Duke with a 9-7 victory. The Blue Devils followed up by winning three straight-set singles matches to quickly close out the victory.

“We played some of the worst doubles we have played all year—we fought well, but we didn’t play well,” Ashworth said. “I think it hurt Wake more to lose the doubles point, than for us to win the doubles point. We know we are more talented than them in singles... and in our singles, we played really well.”

Despite exiting the ACC Championships sooner than desired, the team is not discounting its chances in the NCAA Tournament. Selections for that event will be announced May 3, and the first round will begin May 12.

“We know it’s just a loss. We’ll bounce back and we’ll be ready—everyone has things to work on,” Mang said. “We have a big chance to win it, and we know that. If we all come out and play our best, I don’t think any team can beat us.”

AGG WOMEN S TENNIS CHAMPIONSHIP Ce ,er "

1. Georgia Tech ...

I GT

*

Duke I

2. Duke

SPORTSWRAP

8 MONDAY, APRIL 24,2006

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People between 30 and 60 years of age with untreated high blood pressure are needed for a study at Duke University. Volunteers can earn up to $5OO for participating. Please call 681-1863 or email (919) INSlGHT@mc.duke.edu and ask about the INSIGHT Study. IRB #4306

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BEAT THE HEAT in the mountains of North Carolina. Work outside with kids. Good role models wanted. 1-800-551-9136 www.campcarolina.com

SUMMER HELP WANTED Duke Student to work for The Chronicle Business Office, MayAug, approx 10-12 hrs per week.

Call Mary 684-0384 or email mweaver@duke.edu 919.684.3811 PHOTOGRAPHER SEEKING MODELS Photographer seeks female models for figure study. The work is provocative though artistic, focusing on light and form. Serious inquiries can contact Keith at 3828070 or p.images@verizon.net; my work can be viewed at www.pho-

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Center for Child and Family Policy hiring summer work-study

student for help with web page.

Knowledge of Dreamweaver rquired. Flexible hrs, up to 20/wk. Contact Geelea Seaford, 613-7318 or

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SUMMER JOBS LIBRARY AVAILABLE Multiple positions in Rare Book, Manuscript, and Special Collections Library for students.

Possible to continue in fall semester, flexible daytime hours. Positions in Collection and Development Research Services departments.

Must be able to lift 40lbs. Apply in person in Room 103 Perkins Library.

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WORK STUDY Ecotoxicology lab in the Nicholas School seeks motivated student for assistance with research and care of aquarium systems. Studies focus on effects of pollutants in fish and estuaries.

Contact Gabe Mixon, gtm@duke.edu or 613-8046.

RESEARCH ASSISTANT opening with the Behavioral Medicine Program at DUMC (start 6/06), to work on research study examining causes of hypertension. Duties include participant recruitment, conducting blood pressure screenings, and performing patient testing procedures. BA/BS required. Patient conexperience, tact some computer/medical technology training preferred. Send cover letter and resume to: INSlGHT@mc.duke.edu or fax to (919) 668-3018.

PERSONAL ASSITANT EASY MONEY, FLEXIBLE HOURS good for students, assist visually impaired individual 3 blocks East Campus. Office, computer. Must have car. 599-3503 COFFEE BAR Gourmet coffee bar inside DUMC seeking enthusiastic Baristas. $B/hr free coffee. Apply in person at EspressOasis inside Duke North cafeteria or call 6813245. +

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ROOMMATE WANTED ROOMMATE WANTED 4 minutes to West Campus, $3BO/month rent, very nice townhouse apartment.

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HOMES FOR SALE 3BR HOUSE .2 MILES FROM DUKE $213,900 (FSBO) Located in Trinity Park 3 BR/ 2 Full Baths 1520 Sq. Ft. Central Air & Heat Wood Floors Throughout 15-20 Walk to 9th St. Min. -

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THE CHRONICLE

8 IMONDAY, APRIL 24, 2006

WEIYITAN/THE

CHRONICLE

Blue Devil veterans took time to discuss their experiences as a Duke Mascot during tryouts Sunday evening.

LSAT classes starting soon!

MASCOT from page 1

tionship the mascot has with the cheerleading squad as one of the perks of the job.

“You travel with them, you’re with them

Charlie Suwankosai, a senior. A former high school mascot, Suwankosai enjoyed the position so much that he is pursuing a similar job after graduation. “I’m actually working at Disney World next year—with my Duke degree and all,” he said.

Applicants were asked to audition before a panel of cheerleading coaches. While wearing the Blue Devil head, students performed a series of improvisational skits.

“Improv situation number one: you find yourself on a nude beach. Go!” Stogner challenged Contestant No. 1, later asking him to pretend to slip on a banana peel.

Applicants were also asked to dance to several musical selections, ranging from the Duke Fight Song to the chicken dance.

One complaint common among all of the contestants —the Blue Devil’s head kept falling off.

“The head isn’t quite as secure as you are led to believe,” Contestant No. 7 said.

“There’s a lot of expertise there.”

Students who were reapplying for the position after already having been the mascot for one or more years talked with less-experienced applicants about the life ofthe Blue Devil. Suwankosai mentioned the close rela-

a lot,” he said. “Can’t complain about that.”

Contestant No. 1 spoke about his runins with other school mascots, particularly the female mascot at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

“There was a mascot challenge in St. Louis last year, where the Blue Devil beat the Tar Heel,” he said. “The UNC Tar Heel is really hot.”

Although most of the applicants were juniors and seniors, one contestant represented a younger class—the class of 2019.

Five-year-old Tyler Carpenter, son of women’s volleyball coach Jolene Nagel, donned a mini version of the Blue Devil head and a blue cape for his opportunity in front of the judges.

“You had the best dance moves out of everyone,” Suwankosai told the hopeful.

At the end of the auditionsreach applicant was asked why he wanted to be the Blue Devil. Like many of the others, Contestant No. 7 cited both a love for Duke and a love of attention.

“It would be great justknowing that the 9,314 people in Cameron [lndoor Stadium] and the 20 people at the football games were watching me,” he said.

Class starts

May 3rd for the June 12 exam Classes Start:

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nil Duke University

IU UP.

Information Technology Security Office

www.security.duke.edu

“I just helped a Nigerian prince transfer his family fortune to my bank account.”

A Protect Yourself.

A

Don’t send confidential or sensitive information by e-mail.

A

Verify the safety of attachments you aren’t expecting.

A

Always know who you’re dealing with online.

THE CHRONICLE

MONDAY, APRIL 24, 2006

THE Daily Crossword

Edited by Wayne Robert Williams

ACROSS 1 Diplomat's asset

5 Lake in northern Italy 9 Skater's edge

Stick It Seth Sheldon | can't believe we only bave three more days of classes left.

What? I thought that was last week...

14 Woody

C

15

which would explain why the Last Day of Classes events sucked so much.

Guthrie's boy D.C. office of note

16 Desert refuges 17 Enjoy a book 18 Reign 19 Portents 20 Day/Macßae musical 23 Blackjack 24 Two-finger sign 25 DDE's

I'm gonna buy you a

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conical bat.

opponent

26 Heart rhythm 29 Harmless cyst 32 Song of exultation 35 Anger 36 Drill 37 1954 Oscar winner

Highwood, IL

41 Organic

compound 42 Expression of

ilbert Scott Adams I RESERVED A fAID-SIZED CAR.

LET'S SEE WHAT'S LEFT.

Prefertilization seeds

derision 43 Assistants 44 Weekday abbr.

45 Canine rest

WE DON'T HAVE ANY CARS LEFT. BUT I CAN LET YOU BORROW A GLOVE FROIA THE LOST-AND-FOUND BIN.

YOU WOULDN'T ASK THAT if you HAD A FROZEN HAND.

WMJ GLOVE? )

,

Mauritania

neighbor

Cassini of fashion Knitted shoe Ewe's offspring On the briny Declare untrue Last letter of words?

Of sheep More fit Actress Arlene

stop?

48 Catch some rays 49 Operated

50 Middle Eastern

grp-

-53 Willie Nelson

58 59 60 61 62 63 64

classic Close in poetry Surrounded by Sisters Snow unit

Ten-percent

donation Mine find Lumber Sea eagle Snares Verse Part of A.D. Collar choice Sailor's jail

en scene

Toward shelter President before Polk

65 Hip ending?

66 Lemony DOWN

1 Edible tubers

oonesbury Garry Trudeau

52 Beginning 53 Just

47 Series of ranked stages 48 Vertical post 50 Choreographer Abdul 51 Cruise ship

Patricia 55 Leaders of flocks 56 Leave out 57 Insect pest 58 To the rear

46 Kudos

High-pitched

2 Sports place 3 Part of a vise 4 Fuss 5 Eye membrane

45 Tyrannical leader

hum

Bern's river Animals of a region

54 "Hud" star

The Chronicle HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY, STEVE!!: SIG EPII1U: ryry Who wrote The Autobiography of B. Franklin: ....also ryry He kind of looks like Philip Seymour Hoffman: said!

Little white cap durag: ballz Ok, you aren’t like Forrest Gump: beaton, mike You are SO EFFING FIRED: alyssa, alex Also Happy Birthday, Jeff...: jianghai ransom ...from the biotch and the hot one: Roily says he wishes you didn’t have a paper: Roily =

oxTrot Bill Amend THE NEW INTELpowered

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Eric Berkowitz, Jenny Wang Evelyn Chang Desmund Collins, Erin Richardson Sim Stafford, Tiffany Swift, Charlie Wain Kevin O’Leary Marketing Assistant: National Advertising Coordinator: Heather Murray Creative Services: Rachel Bahman, Alexandra Beilis Meagan Bridges, Robert Fenequito, Andrea Galambos Alicia Rondon, Erika Woolsey, Willy Wu, Susan Zhu Roily Miller Online Archivist: Production Assistant: Brian Williams Business Assistants Shereen Arthur, Danielle Roberts Chelsea Rudisill Advertising Representatives:

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. (No number is repeated in any column, row or box.)

6 7 1 6

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2 8 9 7

One Team. One Common Goal.

To provide quality service to the Duke University community.

7 4 9 1

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DUKE

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WWW.DUKESTORES.DUKE.EDU

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THE CHRONICLE

10 IMONDAY, APRIL 24,2006

Second-rate

Kegless

We

Duke Student Government and were looking forward to the tent party that was to Campus Council both had responsibilides in planning this event, but take place Saturday night.

It is a unique party, bringing to- which organization, if either, should be blamed for the mix up gether students from all unclear, s corners of the University d Sld orlifstriai to mingle and dance on Regardless of the details surrounding the disthe Main Quadrangle.

Another reason for our excitement organization, the lack ofkegs is reprewas that the event was advertised as sentative of a larger problem with our one of the few events of the school student governments.

If this was going to be one of the year featuring kegs on the quad.

Last year, student leaders saw the best undergraduate parties of the year, which we hoped it would be after a tents as an opportunity to throw a party for undergraduates and alumni alike. fun party during last year’s Alumni Last year’s party was well attended and Weekend, planning should have been more deliberate and better organized. many students on campus lauded student government for actually making a We also realize that kegs are not required to make a party fun, but on a tangible contribution to social life.

But this year’s party wasn’t exactly college campus, keg parties tend to like last year’s. One marked differdraw more students to events than ence was this year’s lack ofkegs.

Pauly Dogs and pizza.

The chance to mingle with alumni Food, music and dancing were plentiful, but the beer was notice- and our fellow students was mangled by our very own student leaders. ably absent. *

S-H

U

E—'

We

applaud the group of students and administrators that have worked to establish a new course evaluations website, especially sophomore Elliott Wolf, who rr *Ci Stdff created a previous course evaluations website earlier in the year.

Although this is a step in the right direction, there are still problems with making course evaluations available to. all students First, the fact that it came down to a student being forced to take this issue head-on is a little pathetic.

And although the initiative behind this project is admirable, the system will never work without participation from students.

Online course evaluation sites do not usually feature more than a handful of recommendations per .

professor.

And many of the recommenda-

dons are from the most passionate of students.

Those that love certain professors are the most likely to post flattering reviews, whereas students who passionately dislike oriai a certain professor are the most likely to post comments criticizing him or her.

Thus, online course evaluations are inherently flawed unless there is widespread participation from students.

In order for it to work, students must comment as much as possible and not rely on Duke’s most opinionated to dominate the discussion.

But it is important to note that this online website system is really a second-rate option for course evalu-

»«.

•

*

ations

An opt-in system for paper evaluations should be the next logical step.

Pratt has done it. Trinity, why can’t

you?

One DukeCard at a time

Life

LETTERS POLICY The Chroniclewelcomes submissions in the form of letters to the editor or guest columns.Submissions must include the author's name, signature, department or class, and for

purposes of identification, phone number and local address.

Letters should not exceed 325 words.

The Chronicle will not publish anonymous or form letters or letters that are promotional in nature. The Chronicle reserves the right to edit letters and guest columns for length, clarity and style and the right to withhold letters based on the discretion of the editorial page editor.

Est. 1905

Direct submissions to: Editorial Page Department The Chronicle Box 90858, Durham, NC 27708 Phone: (919) 684-2663 Fax: (919) 6844696 E-mail: letters@chronicle.duke.edu

The Chronicle

Inc. 1993

SEYWARD DARBY, Editor SARAH KWAK, Managing Editor STEVE VERES, News Editor SAIDI CHEN, University Editor TIFFANY WEBBER, University Editor SARAH BALL, Editorial Page Editor MIKE VAN PELT, Sports Editor JONATHAN ANGIER, GeneralManager TOM MENDEL, Photography Editor ADAM EAGLIN, City & State Editor ALEX FANAROFF, Sports Managing Editor CORINNE LOW, Recess Editor VARUN LELLA, Recess Photography Editor MINGYANG LIU, Wire Editor KAREN HAUPTMAN, OnlineEditor EMILY ALMAS, TowerviewEditor ANDREW GERST, Towerview Managing Editor BEN PERAHIA University SeniorEditor KATIE SOMERS, Recess Senior Editor AARON LEVINE, SeniorEditor MARY WEAVER, Operations Manager NALINI MILNE, University Ad Sales Manager DAWN HALL, Chapel Hill Ad Sales Manager

VICTORIA WESTON, Health & Science Editor DAN ENGLANDER, City &State Editor QINZHENG TIAN, Sports Photography Editor ALEX WARR, Recess Design Editor IZA WOJCIECHOWSKA, Wire Editor KELLY ROHRS, Editorial Page Managing Editor MATT SULLIVAN, Towerview Editor ANTHONY CROSS, TowerviewPhotography Editor ISSA HANNA, Editorial Page Senior Editor MARGAUX KANIS, Senior Editor DAVIS WARD, Senior Editor CAITLIN DONNELLY, Recess Senior Editor BARBARA STARBUCK, Production Manager YU-HSIEN HUANG, Supplements Coordinator STEPHANIE RISBON, AdministrativeCoordinator MONICA FRANKLIN, Durham Ad Sales Manager

The Chronicle is published by the Duke Student Publishing Company, Inc., a non-proTit corporation independent ofDuke University. The opinions expressed in this newspaper are not necessarily thoseof Duke University, its students, faculty, staff, administration or trustees. Unsigned editorials represent the majority view of the editorial board. Columns, letters and cartoons represent the views of theauthors.

To reach the Editorial Office at 301 Flowers Building, call'6B4-2663 or fax 684-4696. To reach the Business Office at 103 West Union Building, call 684-3811. To reach the Advertising Office at 101 West Union Building call 684-3811 or fax 684-8295. Visit The Chronicle Online at h ttpJ/www. chronicle.duke.edu.

2006 The Chronicle, Box 90858, Durham, N.C. 27708. Allrights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the prior, written permission of the Business Office. Each individual is entitled to one free copy. ©

is weird. I’ve never won a single lottery, raffle or drawing. And yet, I somehow hit the [jackpot when there was a .006 percent chance of winning.

Some call it karma, some call it fate and some call it the miraculous workings of some higher power.

There are difEmily almas ferent words for senior column mysterious the the world ways works, the randomness of everyday life, how decisions are made and the paths we choose.

If there is anything that the past four years at Duke have taught me, it is to appreciate the arbitrary.

The number 352 was once a random collection of numerals to me—the year Tiberius was elected Pope and the first sighting of a supernova in China.

Okay, I Wikipedia-ed that.

But now I know that the number 352 has conclusively changed my life.

In June 1996,1 was 12 years old and literally in love with the written word, I arrived on East Campus, moved into Randolph 352, and got ready to spend part of my summer at Duke’s Young Writer’s Camp. I didn’t get my first picks for the classes I wanted to take—short story, poetry —and instead found myself in the basement of Lilly Library with my randomly assigned schedule. Newspaper Class.

I wrote my first newspaper story of my entire life about an armed robbery near Fuqua School of Business, never mind that I had no clue where Fuqua was at the time. It took me at least a week to write and although I now longer have a copy, I am sure the writing and grammar would make me laugh. I didn’t appreciate then that I was embarking on a path that would consume the next ten years of my life (and more than 1,000 hours of my college experience), and counting.

Regardless of whether you believe in karma, and I am not sure that I do, my experiences in Randolph 352 that summer would prove to repeatedly resurface. When I arrived on campus as a freshman in August 2002, my parents and I moved my belongings into Randolph 352, the randomly assigned freshman dorm room where I had, yet again, been randomly assigned to live (out of a possible 1,600 bed spaces on campus—a .006 percent chance).

This past July I was having lunch with one of my

editors at The Charlotte Observer, where I was interning as a reporter, when she asked me ifI had ever attended a summer writing program at Duke. I was a familiar face, and she had been a counselor there while in college. The next day she returned to the office with a grin; She had found her diary from that summer, and indeed I had been one of her campers.

Just as seemingly unexplainable as the significance of the number 352 is the number of times I’ve lost my DukeCard.

If J. Alfred Prufrock can measure out his life in coffee spoons, I can measure out mine in DukeCards. Fifteen to be exact.

No. 1, October, 2002. Returning from a late night out with friends, I mused out loud that the little crevice between the Randolph Dormitory elevator and the floor didn’t seem big enough to lose anything to the gnomes of the elevator shaft. Moments later my DukeCard slipped out of my hand and miraculously escaped through the Hole That Should Not Have Been Big Enough.

And so began my long-term relationship with the staffers at the Duke Card Office.

I have lost DukeCards in the Duke Gardens (No. 2, April 2003), in the Biology Building, visiting my family in Mississippi on school breaks and in my car.

Nos. 11,12,13 and 14 in March and April 2006 were sacrifices to the Gods of the Senior Thesis.

I certainly don’t hold the record for my number of DukeCards (Chronicle editorial page editor Sarah Ball is already ahead of me, with 19 as a sophomore). And maybe I don’t take the cake for the weird places I’ve lost my card: One senior I know found an old DukeCard while gardening, under a pile of dirt.

Some might call it chance or say it’s pure coincidence. Whatever it is, I have met amazing friends, lovers and professors through the most arbitrary of means. But at the same time those friendships and relationships have become anything but arbitrary.

The majority of my lost DukeCards have disappeared in 301 Flowers, the place that has singlehandedly defined my college experience more than anywhere else.

The friends I first found at The Chronicle were rather random; the long-lasting friendships we have shared since have been anything but.

Maybe it’s chance, maybe it’s serendipity or maybe it’s just plain luck. It doesn’t matter what it is, because I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Emily Almas is a Trinity senior and editor of Towerview. Her college experience wouldn’t have been complete without the support of her parents, Patrick, Tracy, Kelly, Karen, Claire, Sarah and everyone else who has understood that sometimes she truly has no time.

MONDAY, APRIL 24,

commentaries

THE CHRONICLE

2006 HI

The List

No

how good something may be, I’m a person who always thinks it can be better. I’ll preface the list by saying that I have thoroughly enjoyed most ofmy experience here and could have just as easily written a list of things I like about Duke. But here you go President Brodhead, undergraduates and professors alike—here is my list of things I’d change about Duke Bring Kegs Back to West (and Keep Tailgates Too). These largeposes group social gatherings senior column are when Duke is at its best. They are some of the rare times when the social walls of race, class, frat and appearance are broken down. The alternative is boozing in a cramped dorm room or dropping $5O at a bar. Duke, stop systematically undermining everything that gives this place character.

Stop Buying Bricks and Start Buying Professors. Duke has gone on nothing short of a building spree over the past decade, and yes, some of it has been much-needed.

Meanwhile, the school can’t find money in the Arts and Sciences budget to allow the faculty to grow at anywhere near the same pace. Yes, flashy buildings may be on the minds of potential applicants and a necessary lure for researchers, but realistically the faculty you interact with, not quads, shape an academic experience. Classes are too big, and you can’t get into the top professors’ classes, if they even teach undergrads—all signs Duke’s next spree needs to be faculty hiring.

Work for The Chronicle. I’ve learned much more working for this newspaper than I could ever learn in the classroom —and I have no intention of being a journalist.

This place has taught me how to work under pressure, deal with other personalities and simply get shit done. So find a group on campus and devote some serious time to it. You may realize that it will be the most worthwhile thing you do here.

Stop Worrying About Your GPA. Duke students are much more obsessed with a number than what they actually learn here. From picking classes to studying it all seems to revolve around grades. Yes, grades certainly matter when it comes to grad schools and a first job, but Duke kids don’t realize that they’ll ultimately be more successful if they focus on intellectual expansion instead of grade grubbing.

Find Me an Adviser. I did not get a single useful piece of information from the three people who have called themselves my“adviser.” The black hole of advising is indicative of the lack of individual attention paid to undergraduates.

Duke is relatively unstructured when it comes to academics—something that should remain—but this web requires an experienced hand to help you climb through. I know I would have benefited from some sound advice.

Can the Language Requirement. If we say each course costs $4,000, then I spent 12 grand not learning Italian from a few people Duke calls “instructors.” But the real tragedy here is missing out on what I could have gotten out of three real courses. Being able to utter the names of a few Italian foods (prosciutto e melone) is in no way a prerequisite for being a well rounded, liberally educated Duke grad-

B£

matter

NO

—

Jake

uate.

Find Some Kids Who Aren’t Like You. If there is one area in which I have failed miserably at Duke, it’s in spending time with people who aren’t like me. What I have learned from those who didn’t grow up with a similar socioeconomic background or don’t have very similar interests has made me wish I had done it more. So, grab lunch with someone random after class or chill at Charlie’s with someone who you don’t know or someone who doesn’t look like someone you should know.

Promote, don’t kill, Work-Hard-Play-Hard. I came to Duke almost exclusively because of this motto. It was exactly what I wanted in a college experience, and despite being somewhat disappointed about the caliber of both the work and the play, I think I’ve managed to live the motto. But it seems like there’s something the administration doesn’t like about the play hard side of this simple equation, Duke’s not going to beat Harvard at its own game and probably never will. So killing the piece of this place that make kids like me gloss over some of Duke’s academic shortcomings, at least compared to most other top schools, is going to cost Duke dearly.

Jake Poses is a Trinity senior and former sports editor of The Chronicle.

Blue Devil haze

Ladies

and Gendemen: JACK BAUER’S BIDET has gone national. JACK’S sweet prosaic godliness—nay, the unadulterated truth that spews like bees from a Loop trash can from JACK’S nimble, slender, girlish typing fingers —is being consumed wholesale and without question or discretion by Duke’s next crop of scholars, leaders, gentlemen and fake Kappa Sigs.

That’s right—it’s the last Blue Devil Day(s). It’s the one for the kids who just can’t make up their mind. Indecision is a pretty important characterisfuture tic for success; if you never make a decision, you can’t be blamed jack bailer's bidet for anything! JACK’S Monday, monday sure you’ll go far.

Anyways, in just six days, these waffliest of high schoolers will decide whether to get a real education at Stanford or turn into embedded white supremacists while they develop full-blown, debilitating grill-ash addictions here at Duke.

Parents, beware the transformation: Nobody thinks it’ll happen to their kid, but as soon as they sign the card and send it in, the Dukening begins. First, their skin pigmentation will all but disappear. For men, the beginning of an aristocratic chin presents as early as five days. The Dukening has been known to affect the clothes: By day 10, their fringe of their collars will vocally express a desire to be inches nearer to the sun, where collars are happiest and most content. In one month, your child will be sneaking off to GOP rallies; by late June, expect them to be openly reading David Duke tracts. “Dude, I think he founded the place, or

JACK is pretty sure they’ll let you drop out for medical

reasons just before finals and come back to try again a year later three, maybe four times. Because you’re a Duke student, it is your privilege, and money is no object. Anyways, the first week of school is glorious. Not only will older men and women shower you with free alcohol, it’s the only time in your life a heated debate over “Soda” and “Pop” has a significant chance ofleading to full-blown, clumsy, groping, unsatisfying sex.

On Engineering: HAHAHAHAHA. Seriously, though, don’t listen to what any current upperclassman tells you. The powers that be are slowly replacing the gulag of “math” and “quantitative problem-solving” with a sweet arts-and-crafts curriculum. If you stand perfectly quiet in FCIEMAS, you can hear ABET violendy choking on its own bile all the way from Maryland.

On Transportation: Buses are great... if you’re really, really, really into immolation. (What? Too soon?)

Sure, the oft-proclaimed “five minute ride to West” exists, but only for your 9:10 a.m. class. When you actually want to go to West, you’ll get a “biodiesel”-fueled drive through scenic Central Campus. JACK’S advice is to close your eyes and visualize picturesque villas and a thriving Romance Studies department. The back of your eyelids are a time machine. JACK also recommends you attend as many World Cup games as possible this summer, as only a full-blown European soccer riot can prepare you with the skills you need to hop on a bus at noon. Moreover, know that the Duke buses are direcdy responsible for the war in Iraq; ask any Senior or Jessica Rutter.

On Tailgates: No matter what vague encyclicals come from the Office of Student Affairs, there is only one truly mandatory activity. At 7 a.m. the morning of the first football game, it is of ineffable importance you find your way, somehow, to the Blue Zone. Do not ask why—just go. It is up to you, the putative class of 2010, to preserve our institutions. Bring grills. something.”

On Sweet, Sweet Foodstuffs: As of now, it’s unclear By early August your son’s newfound white male [athletic] privilege will be fully manifested—women how your food plan will work, but know this: No matwill have no choice upon meeting him but to become ter how Duke makes you overpay, the upperclassmen an object of sexual and culinary utility; minorities will jealousy level will be absolutely cosmic, eclipsing the historic record of “Free iPods for Freshmen.” If you’re wildly genuflect in his presence and subjugate themthe betting type, you can order from GDB Delivery, selves uncontrollably; and Bill Clinton’s lawyers will deand take wagers on over-unders for delivery time, food fend him to the death.

For parents of future Dukettes, expect your temperature and final cost.

On Financials: $160,000 might sound like a lot, but daughter’s hemp necklace to transmogrify overnight A. Cars and firearms don’t count for financial aid into pearls. Type I Dukening presents on day 12 for women with overpriced tan leather sandals. For Type package calculations, so JACK BAUER’S BIDET suggests you invest heavily in a short-term portfolio of II victims, their feet and ankles will turn permanentAston-Martins and WWII-era gold-plated Lugers packthe words of the fainto a of boots.

In ly fuzzy pair mous motto of the Duke Women’s Center: “Cute, aged in Faberge eggs; and B. If you play your cards right, Duke gets the short Warm, and Utilitarian.” end of the deal. his BAUER’S is sure BIDET pretty Anyways, JACK All in all, you should expect a great four years here. “editors” are soon going to stop letting him sneak in at 3 a.m. Monday mornings to type culturally insensitive Five, if you still plan on your Economics-EnglishPhysics triple-major after week three. JACK’S had a hell comments into a random blank spot on the page which is pretty much the perceived editorial process of a quadrannum, that’s for sure.

That said, JACK BAUER’S BIDET understands whenever a group on campus takes something out of Duke isn’t for everyone. If you feel the same way, So wants to take this final opportunity context.

JACK to give the fresh meat some insider info on how to JACK hopes you choke and die on brie and merlot in make the most of this exciting phase in their lives. Or your Eating Club. something. Note to dads: Just because your kid’s done JACK says Duke is what you make of it. The only guaranplaying baseball in two weeks doesn’t mean JACK tee is that afterfour years, you’ll be as jealous of the new guys shouldn’tbe living through him.

On Being a First-Semester Freshman: Always do it. as Carver Moore is. .

.

—

12IM0NDAY, APRIL

THE CHRONICLE

24,2006

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