The Town Crier
Horley Edition
Serving the communities of Horley, Smallfield, Gatwick, Copthorne, Burstow, Outwood, Salfords and the surrounding areas Issue 9 October 2025
Welcome to the October 2025 issue of the Horley Town Crier!
I am delighted to present the October 2025 issue of the Horley Town Crier community magazine.
Once again, my heartfelt thanks to the charities, businesses, community groups and so forth who played their part in putting this issue together.
You are much appreciated.
For our policies regarding free promotion, paid advertising and so forth, please see this page where I've tried to give you a succinct guide.
Submit!
The door is now wide open for your submissions for the November issue. The deadline for the November issue is 6pm on November 19th.
For a guide as to the type of features we are looking for and how to submit, please visit the Town Crier website here
The cover photograph is by Horley’s favourite photographer Julie Suttle.
In this Issue
St Catherines Hospice page 2
Let’s Dance Melange page 5
Crawley Down Ladies Choir page 6
Horley Local History Society page 7
Horley Men’s Shed page 9
Portland Vets page 11
Bletchingley Christmas Market page 12
Horley Repair Café page 13
Horley Lions pages 15 to 17
MCR Pathways page 18
East Surrey Walkers page 20
Happy Shocktober! pages 22-25
Town Crier Distribution page 26
Green World Trade Index page 28
Satire page 29
Sonnet page 31
Surrey Fashion WeekAwards page 32
Archway Theatre page 35
Archway Theatre
To contact the editor, please email: horleytowncrier@gmail.com
St Catherine’s Hospice sets out new
five-year strategy
Local charity, St Catherine’s Hospice has today unveiled a new five-year strategy to protect and strengthen specialist end of life care for local people, despite continuing financial pressures. The plan has been shaped by the voices of patients, families, staff, volunteers and supporters, and puts compassion firmly at its heart. It commits the hospice to being there for those who need specialist palliative and end of life care when it matters most.
Supporting not only patients with the most complex needs but also those who love and care for them.
Building on its reputation for expert, person centred care, St Catherine’s will continue to deliver highly skilled, specialist support that goes beyond the clinical, recognising the emotional, social, and spiritual needs of each person.
Care will be guided by the wishes and experiences of those it serves.
Partnership working will also be central to the local hospice’s strategy. By strengthening relationships with neighbouring hospices and other crucial delivery partners throughout the NHS, especially local hospitals, primary care and community providers, St Catherine’s aim to make sure that more people receive timely, coordinated support wherever they are being cared for.
Recognising that not everyone currently has equal access to care, the hospice is committed to reaching underserved communities, tackling health inequalities, and removing barriers so that more people can benefit from its services.
However, this vision comes at a continued on next page
St Catherines Hospice continued from previous page time of financial challenge, so the strategy includes a clear focus on financial sustainability, making sure resources are used wisely and that the funding needed to protect services for the future is secured.
Giles Tomsett, Chief Executive of St Catherine’s said, “Our community deserves to approach the end of life with compassion, dignity and the specialist support only we can provide. We are committed to making that happen, but we cannot do it alone. Every voice, every donation and every act of kindness will help us sustain this vital care for years to come.”
The five-year strategy is built around five key goals: outstanding care, system integration and collaboration, community engagement, financial sustainability and an exceptional workplace for staff and volunteers, the latter being the building block for all the important work the hospice seeks to do.
For more details visit: https://www.stch.org.uk/about -us/vision-mission-and-values or to make a donation to support St Catherine’s specialist care please visit: www.stch.org.uk/donate
The Crawley Down Ladies Choir is a well-established amateur choir meeting every Monday evening during term time at 7.30pm in the Birch Room at The Haven Centre in Crawley Down.
We have been practising since early September for our upcoming matinée concert which will be held at The Haven Centre in the Dorothy Hatswell Hall on Saturday December 13th starting at 2pm.
You may know The Haven Centre with its recently refurbished café/bar and perhaps, like me, have wondered just who Dorothy Hatswell was?
Dorothy Hatswell was born in 1934 and passed away in February 2022. She contributed regular articles to ‘East Grinstead Living’as well as publishing books.
Dorothy was a classroom teacher at Crawley Down School, later becoming Deputy Head in 1973 and thenActing Head shortly before her retirement. She was also Chair of the Crawley Down Community Centre Association, and instrumental in setting up The Haven Centre hence the naming of the Centre's large hall the “Dorothy Hatswell Hall”. The choir has been very pleased to welcome several new members this term to swell our voices and remains open to new members, both soprano and alto voices.
If you are interested in joining us please contact Elaine 07799 6523032 for details or see our website for more information at crawleydownladieschoir.co.uk
You can be assured of a warm welcome.
Oh No It Isn’t
AHistory of Pantomime
Horley Local History Society
What is it about Pantomime that attracts us to this strange concoction of fairy tales, dance, jokes, songs and cross-dressing?
And what is it really like to play the back end of a Pantomime Cow?
All this, and the answer to whether something really is behind you will be answered in this festive Talk by Pete Allen about what has become one of the great British Christmas traditions.
Horley Community Centre, Regent Hall, 52 Albert Road Horley, RH6 7JA WEBSITE
25 November at 19:30 - 21:00 GMT
YWI Dormansland welcomes Barrie Griffiths, a Help for HeroesAmbassador to our meeting on Armistice Day, Tuesday 11thNovember. 8pm in the Parish Room, The Platt, Dormansland.
See www.ywidormansland.org.uk for full details.
All ladies welcome (18+).
The Horley Men’s Shed
Connection, conversation and creation.
The Men’s Shed have been very busy with a stall the Horley Lions Dog Show, helping our landlords the Horley Health Hub “Away Day” team building event and First Aid training by the St. John Ambulance along with numerous other little projects and the acquisition of a planer and another table saw.
We are also replenishing our stock of bird boxes and feeders, bug towers, hedgehog houses, boot and coat hangers, dog beds, bat boxes, garden planters and much more for our stall at the Leisure Centre Christmas Fair and a unique tree for the Methodist Church Christmas Tree Festival whilst planning our Christmas meal together in December.
We are open every Tuesday behind the Horley Health Hub, 120 Victoria Road from 9:00am until 15:00pm with two sheds which contain a range of
equipment, a large outside area and access to a rest area where we stop for regular breaks and lunch with guys coming and going as they like. The “Shedders” can be from 18 to 108 years old with a huge range of backgrounds and skill levels, from none to experts but we are a men only group. We are selffunding through subs (£1 a week if you can afford it) or by selling things we have made. If you are interested just pop-in one Tuesday and meet us.
Connection, Conversation, Creation and Christmas
November 22nd, Christmas Fair at Horley Leisure Centre
December 5th to 7th, Christmas Tree Festival at Horley Methodist Church
December 9th, Christmas meal for Shedders
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Horley Men’s Shed photo gallery
BLETCHINGLEY
CHRISTMAS MARKET
– SATURDAY, 22ND NOVEMBER,
SATURDAY, 22ND NOVEMBER,
VILLAGE HALL, RH1 4PA: 10.00A.M. – 3.00 P.M.
VILLAGE HALL, RH1 4PA: 10.00A.M. – 3.00 P.M.
Our much-loved Christmas event is back, brimming with festive cheer, unique gifts and plenty of treats to make your day sparkle.
Shop and Browse: Discover an array of bargains and one-of-a-kind treasures – perfect for finding that extra-special Christmas gift for friends and loved ones.
Christmas Café: Take a break and soak up the festive atmosphere with a warming cuppa, a tasty traybake and or a light lunch.
By Popular Demand:
• Home-made cakes stall (get there early – these sell fast!).
• The ever-popular Christmas Raffle & Hamper.
• Guess the Weight of the Christmas Cake?
• Kids’Tombola and Guess the Name of the Cockapoo!
Admission: £1 Adults with accompanying children ‘free’entry. There is a 'free' competition for children on entry.
Come along for a festive day full of fun, laughter and community spirit –and maybe even get a head start on your Christmas shopping!
If interested in having a stall, please e-mail mailto:janine.marks@sky.com for details
HORLEY REPAIR CAFÉ @ ST WILFS
The Repair Café @ St Wilfs which started in Horley in January has now run for 10 sessions and has been a great success. The Repair Café organisation is international with over 2,500 Repair Cafes worldwide but up until the start of the year hadn’t been represented in Horley. Vast numbers of items are thrown away where often a simple repair would give these items a new lease of life. By repairing these items they are saved from landfill, raw materials are saved, and the owner saves money. It also means these repairing skills are passed to others rather than being lost forever.
The Repair Café, is run entirely by volunteers and acts a community hub, allowing people to meet and chat over a hot drink and piece of cake whilst their items are being repaired. Owners of items can get as involved as much as they want to with the repair, even undertaking it themselves if they so wish, overseen by one of the volunteers.
overseen by one of the volunteers. The first six sessions of the Horley Repair Café which is a Church run event have been busy with, on average, over 35 items brought into each session, meaning we have looked at over nearly 400 items of which almost 300 have been successfully repaired.
We currently have a great team of volunteers, to welcome you and to undertake repairs of items such as electrical, electronic, woodwork, mechanical and general items, clothing/sewing, hi/fi & audio, bicycles, clocks, watches (battery replacement), tool/knife sharpening, glass, plastic and porcelain and computers. Subject to volunteer availability.
So far, we’ve repaired items such as vacuums, radios, record players, bicycles, clocks, jumpers, jeans, power tools, soft toys, electrical garden equipment, wooden furniture and sharpening of knives and garden tools. Continued on next page We can’t look at microwaves, petrol powered items or e-bikes for insurance purposes, but we
Horley repair café continued from previous page
We can’t look at microwaves, petrol powered items or e-bikes for insurance purposes, but we will try to repair most other small household items.
There is no need to pre-book, just turn up. The repair service is offered free of charge (parts chargeable) with donations welcome to cover running costs.
What will you bring in for repair? the volunteers like a challenge!
Please spread the word by mentioning the Repair Café to family, friends and neighbours. The Horley Repair Café @ St Wilfs runs on every second Saturday of the month 11.30am – 2.30pm (last items in by 2pm please) at St Wilfrids Church Hall, Horley Row, Horley RH6 8DF. Our next session is Saturday 8th November 2025.
This enterprise is only possible due to the very kind support of the Horley Team Ministry.
For more information, please contact horleyrepaircafe@yahoo.com or see our Facebook page Horley Repair Café @ St Wilfs
JJ’s Epic Eats
The Horley Town Crier is always proud to feature Epic Eats by JJ Suttle, who is probably the country’s youngest food reviewer. Unfortunately due to unforeseen circumstance JJ was not able to submit a review for this issue. However, we are delighted to tell you that JJ will be back next month with yet another excellent review.
Guess the weight of thePumpkin
and win a Bonfire and Fireworks family ticket
Just pop in to the Horley Community Centre to enter.
£1 a go.
You can visit our website to find out more information about how we support our local community and if you would like to volunteer your time to help, that would be greatly appreciated
The Horley Lions’Fireworks Fundraising Event
at The Rec
byAngela Sara West
Don’t miss The Horley Lions Club’s spectacular annual charity bonfire and fireworks evening on Saturday 1st November.
Join us at Horley Recreation Ground for a fab night of family entertainment and excitement where The Horley Lions will have their muchloved Barbeque Bar on site, serving burgers, hot dogs, bacon & egg butties and more.
You can also indulge in delectable food & drink from Pizza Craft, Musti's Grill, Simply Crumble, Sweet Treats and Hot Potatoes while lighting up your little ones’lives with Lights and Glow sticks.
Gates open at 5.30pm, with lighting of the bonfire at 7pm followed by a fabulous fireworks display from 7.30pm. All monies raised go to supporting great local causes within our community.
Wrap up warm, wear your wellies and soak up the sparkling atmosphere at this banging evening out for the whole family, which takes place whatever the weather! Secure your place NOW at this popular ticket-only event (no tickets will be available to purchase on the night):
Under 5's – Free; Child - £3; Adult - £6
Grab your tickets at: www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-horley-lions-bonfirefirework-fundraising-spectacular-tickets1628353020719?aff=oddtdtcreator
Be the Vital Spark that Changes a Young Person’s Life
Become a volunteer mentor for just one hour a week with MCR Pathways
MCR Pathways is an awardwinning youth mentoring charity, working to level the playing field so all young people can achieve their ambitions.
When you’ve had the most unfair start in life, it’s easy to lose your way for the rest of your life. For too many young people, an unfair start means navigating life’s toughest challenges alone. But mentoring builds confidence, instils belief, awakens ambitions, and expands their future horizons.
Mentoring not only improves a young person’s educational attainment, career aspirations, and life chances, it’s also incredibly rewarding for the mentor.
Supporting someone to reach their full potential can increase your own confidence, develop communication skills, and give a deep sense of fulfilment and purpose.
The programme launched in Surrey schools in 2022, and since then, nearly 600 young people have been supported with dedicated mentors contributing over 7,600 hours of mentoring. The programme currently operates in seven Surrey schools, including local school Oakwood where the need for mentors is urgent.
You don’t need any specific skills or prior experience to become a mentor; all you need is a willingness to make a positive impact. Mentors dedicate an hour each week listening to and encouraging a young person in their school, empowering them to believe in themselves and their abilities.
Ready to get involved?
If you’re interested in mentoring and have any questions, you can contact
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MCR Pathways continued from previous page
Liz Grace, our Partnerships Manager in Surrey, at liz.grace@mcrpathways.org.
Or, if you’re ready to sign up, head straight to our website: mcrpathways.org/become-a-mentor
The East Surrey Walkers
We Ramblers (mostly) love mud and there’s often a lot of it about in Autumn. But please don’t worry, our local walks often include a warning if conditions are challenging and with decent boots and support from your local branch of the Ramblers –East Surrey Walkers - you’ll be fine.
We walk for fun and fitness and, of course, the chat. We are walkers of all ages from all sorts of backgrounds – what we have in common is a love of the great outdoors. Our programme includes ‘ambles’ – easier and shorter walks which are great for newcomers or those getting fit
We organise 50 guided walks for all abilities from 3 to 10 miles every three months. Start time is normally 10:00am. No need to book … just turn up and have fun. You’re welcome to join us for a couple of walks before thinking about becoming a member.
Our leaders are all experienced and we always have a nominated backmarker to ensure we all keep together and no one drops
Our leaders are all experienced and we always have a nominated backmarker to ensure we all keep together and no one drops out without warning.
Dogs are welcome on leads.
If you’re interested, your first step should be to check out our programme here on the web https://www.eastsurreywalker s.org.uk
Walks are colour coded.
Blue: Easy/Amble (about 1.5 miles per hour); White: Leisurely (2.0mph);
Green: Moderate (2.5mph); Purple: Strenuous (3.5mph). Continued on next page
East Surrey Walkers continued from previous page
All these walks are ‘circular’ – so we finish where we start, often near a pub that does good food. The calendar also has a ‘map view’so you can check the startfinish nearest to you. The selection of walks below is graded ‘moderate’or ‘easy’ suitable for newcomers. Meet up at 10:00am.
On Friday 31st October we’re walking from Limpsfield Golf Club but use the free National Trust parking area. Walk to Westerham and back via Moorhouse Squerryes Estate, Limpsfield Chart and Limpsfield Common. Early lunch in one of several cafes at Westerham or picnic on the green. This walk is graded MODERATE.
Godstone is the start of our ‘moderate’walk on Sunday 2nd November, meeting at the car park opposite the White Hart pub, walk across the village green along theA25 towards North Park Lane .
then pick up another footpath towards Kitchen Copse, Place Farm, and Brewer Street Farm, along towards the Hawthorne School, turn left up to Bletchingly, then pick up the Greensand Way back towards Godstone and turn left up and over Gaston and eventually back into Godstone
On Friday 7th November we have an ‘easy’walk, an ‘Amble’, from Bletchingley, Surrey. Park and meet in the playing fields car park opposite the Bletchingley Arms. Very pleasant walk to Brewer Street then through the grounds of the Hawthorns School. Acouple of small inclines.
Full details to make your choice by following the link above
Happy Shocktober!
by Town Crier ColumnistAngela Sara West
With the spooky season officially in full swing, we’re looking forward to monster-sized Surrey adventures with ghoulishly good days out on our doorstep.
From picking the perfect pumpkin, braving spine-tingling Fright Nights at the farm, to mysterious trails, seasonal crafts and so much more, don your creepiest costumes for happy Halloween adventures with your mini ghouls’n’witches at fang-tastic local attractions and events.
Celebrity Halloween
But first, here are my couple of my exclusive interviews with famous faces about their childhood memories of Halloween & more!
Spooked-out ‘Made In Chelsea’star Amelia Mist is among our regular models at Surrey Fashion Week.
What particularly spooks this popular reality TV star? “Pretty much everything! I’m petrified of most Halloween–related things because I am a wimp! However, I feel after going to the Fright Night event at Thorpe Park I have conquered my fear of being made to ‘jump’!!”
Above photo: ‘Made In Chelsea’star Amelia Mist modelling on our Surrey Fashion Week celebrity charity catwalk
I also caught up with ‘Ted Lasso’star Kola Bokinni, who plays Richmond Team Captain Isaac on the EmmyAward–winningApple TV+ series continued on next page
Angela Sara West continued from previous page
and is also known for his roles in Netflix’s ‘Top Boy’ and ‘Black Mirror’, along with ‘Celebrity Bear Hunt’ and ‘Race Across the World’.
What does Kola love most about the spooky season? “Dressing up! As I do in my job… I love the fantasy part of it and going all out with the costumes. Plus, of course, the parties!!” he tells me.
What spooks this TV star? Spiders! I once googled ‘spider eyes’ by accident and haven’t quite recovered yet… Ha ha!!”
Photo:‘Ted
Lasso’&‘Top Boy’star Kola Bokinni-credit Olufemi Bokinni
And Kola’s childhood memories of Halloween? “The party was doing the whole house up, turning it into a spooky nightmare… We went BIG on Halloween!!”
Local Half-Term Halloween & Fireworks Fun
Read my full interviews in this month’s issue of Surrey Rocks magazine.
Always a spook-tacular occasion for my son Harry and I, we go big on Halloween, too!
Photo: Priory Farm – credit
Henry Catling Photography
Here are a few of our fave local haunts for half-term Halloween fun, while hot-off-the-heels of Halloween, Guy Fawkes’ Night follows with a dazzling display of fireworks bang on our doorstep here in Horley
Playful Mischief’n’Mud Monsters at Priory Farm
Get into the spooky spirit of Nutfield’s Priory Farm, promising a wonderful Discovery Land world full of playful mischief, mild spookiness and outdoor adventure, where nature, magic and farmyard fun are sprinkled with seasonal magic!
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Photos: Priory Farmcredit Henry Catling Photography
tricks and silly surprises around every corner, this colourful celebration of nature offers an autumnal adventure like no other. Take the immersive Halloween Trail in pumpkin-filled fields before heading over to the Hay Bale Maze to explore the exciting House of Pumpkins
Celebrity Shocktober!
Ashort hop over the Surrey border to Sussex takes us to Tulleys’SHOCKTOBER – Europe's Largest Scream Park. Full of fun-filled eeriness, the ‘Home of Halloween’is the go-to for famous faces, including ‘Harry Potter’star Rupert Grint, Rag’n’Bone Man and Molly Mae-Hague, who says, “It’s SOOOO spooky…”
TV’s Jonathon Ross reveals, “We highly recommend it. SHOCKTOBER’s a family tradition!”
Home to the UK’s no.1 Pumpkin Festival and award-winning attractions, too, take to the skies, soaring to impressive heights on a scenic ride on the panoramic Pumpkin Farm Observation Wheel, and marvel at live roaming musicians as you munch on mouthwatering street food and toasted marshmallows by the fire.
With something for the entire family to enjoy, step into theAmericanathemed Pumpkin Bar and indulge in spooky cocktails at The Boozy Cauldron, all while being entertained by live music and DJs offering vibrant festival vibes for a truly immersive experience. The perfect Halloween adventure for friends and families alike, if your dog’s got a ‘bone-to-pick’they’re welcome here, too! Continued on next page
Make magical memories you’ll remember forever on this fang-tastic family-friendly day out with the children, and brave
SHOCKTOBER With booby-trapped Mud Monsters, trick trap doors, illusion
New Top Beauty Treatments to Get
Red-Carpet Ready in Horley
Breaking News: Daniella’s and my go-to beauty salon in Horley for redcarpet glow-ups - Diva Body
Sculpting, directed by Anamaria - has just launched some incredible new treatments. Innovative FDAapproved Endolaser tightens the undereye, whole face or tummy, while CO2 laser is a top treat for the face and neck, stimulating new cells and collagen and reducing fine lines, wrinkles, acne scars and pigmentation, resulting in a smoother, firmer and more youthful complexion.
Finally, don’t forget you can WIN a top treatment at Diva Body
Sculpting, along with celeb-signed merch, celebrity makeup masterclasses & more in our Surrey Fashion Week x Miss Britannia silent charity auction.
Prizes start at just £2! Simply scan the QR code on the flyer, or head to www.jumblebee.co.uk/surreyfashionwweekxmissbritanniaxpolo or click the link in my bio @surreyfashionweekuk
All in aid of cancer research via The Triple C - our Horley-based Cancer Care Community at www.thetriplec.co.uk
Happy Halloweeeeeen!! See you Trick or Treating on Lumley Road
Town Crier Distribution
Helping you thrive!
by Steve Cook
Save yourself time, effort, hassle and money of printing your flyer or leaflet and having it reliably delivered to people’s homes and businesses can be relatively high.
Almost exactly a year ago at this writing I launched the Town Crier with a purpose to support local businesses and share useful news and information across the community. The magazine seeks to be positive, trustworthy and focused on helping local enterprises of all kinds get themselves known.
Building on that foundation, I have now launched a done-for-you print and distribution service. The goal of this service is to make it easy and affordable for local businesses to reach people in the community and beyond and flourish and prosper as a result.
Leafleting door to door has always been and probably always will be one of the most effective ways of reaching potential customers, getting noticed and making yourself known. But the cost in terms of time, effort and money
It is these costs that my distribution service reduces considerably, both in terms of saving you time and effort and of cutting the financial cost of printing and distribution by in many cases as much as 40%, sometimes more.
All you need to do is send me your leaflet in PDF (A5 size) PNG or JPEG format. From there, I and my team will handle every step.
We combine your leaflet with three other non-competing businesses to form a shared 4-page brochure (anA4 sheet folded once intoA5 size). You can see a demonstration version of how the brochure looks here.All you have to do us imagine your flyer as one of the four displayed.
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Town Crier Distribution continued from previous page
With us, the cost is £600 all-in This is already a 33% saving on the distribution price alone.
Cheaper bundled distributors may charge £50 per 1,000, but your leaflet is buried among 5–8 others, delivery isn’t guaranteed, and you still have to pay for printing.
With us, you get the best of both worlds: the trusted delivery and impact of Royal Mail, plus the simplicity of having everything handled for you, at a price that saves you money.
Each brochure has just 4 advertiser spots, so space is limited. If you’d like to see how it will look, just send us your A5 leaflet in PDF or PNG or JPEG and we’ll create a free mock-up for you.
Your next step:
At this writing we are preparing or next runs for the East Grinstead and Horley areas so if you would like to find out more, please email us asap. Your enquiry commits you to nothing, but inclusion is on a first-come-first -served basis.
Of course, if you miss out on the next run, we can put you on the waiting list for subsequent runs. And if other areas are of interest to you, please let us know which ones so that we can notify you when brochures aimed at those areas are being assembled
If you send us a PNG or JPEG of your leaflet in A5 size we will send you an example of what it will look like if you decide to go for it.
In the meantime, please take a look at the demonstration model here. And address all enquiries to
towncierdistribution@gmail.com
Summary of Advantages
10000A5 size promotional pieces printed and delivered for just £600 total
No hidden extras
Just send us your leaflet and we’ll do the rest
And let us know which areas you are most interested in covering
New! Green World Trade Index (GWTI)
by Angela Sara West
Worried about your carbon footprint? Worry no more! We’re launching innovative new platform The Green World Trade Index, which makes cutting carbon simple, trackable AND rewarding!
Track, trade and reduce your carbon footprint with this world first, where you can join as an individual or business and be rewarded WITH CASHBACK for simply “doing your bit”.
Privately-owned Green World Trade Index (GWTI) is a pioneering AI sustainability-driven platform designed to exponentially accelerate the global transition to Net Zero by 2050.
By combining technology, transparency and community, GWTI creates the world’s first global green trade index, empowering people and companies to measure, reduce, trade and track their carbon impact.
Acting as an automated global hub for individuals, businesses and investors committed to positive climate action, GWTI provides state-of-the-art tools, visibility and incentives to help its members
achieve measurable carbon reductions.
Our USP? Personal cashback credits!
Set to become a big global brand, GWTI's mission is to be the world’s leading green trading index, connecting people and organisations with innovative solutions that reduce carbon emissions, promote sustainable growth and deliver long-term value.
On trend with its urgent call to action, GTWI REWARDS YOU for real accomplishments in your endeavours to help save our precious planet, including cashback benefits for businesses and individuals. Together, we can turn climate challenges around into a positive, brighter and greener future for all.
www.greenworldtradeindex.com
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Not at all shifty guy announces the Greatest Business Idea in History!
You and everyone you know can be billionaires by this time next week with this new Business Opportunity that cannot possibly fail! You too can get rich without any effort and become a pet food billionaire overnight and we're not even lying.
Thanks to a miracle discovery by our resident Pet Food Guru, it is our great privilege to offer this brand new, cannot-fail, sure-firewinner of a business investment opportunity to all our readers.
Both of you can be rich almost overnight without having to do anything except send us £10,000, which is as easy and completely without any risk whatever as tapping a few keys on your computer keyboard.
So, do not hesitate do this simple action today and set yourself on a path to unbelievable wealth! As you can imagine, we here at the Town Crier are almost hysterical with excitement!!! !!!!!
But what is this sure-fire, dead-cert business investment opportunity? We hear you breathlessly ask.
Pet Food Guru answers all your questions.
Well, let me start off by saying: welcome to the high-powered mega-profit, magical goldmine of cat food.
My story started a little while ago when I noticed that the tiny little biscuits of dry cat food my cat and so many other cats love so much are sort of heart-shaped.
So, in a flash of inspiration of the kind that has propelled so many moguls from obscurity to obscene wealth, I asked myself one important ground-breaking question:
Does the shape of these tiny morsels have anything to do with their popularity?
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And in another moment of inspiration I was able to answer that question with: yes, it does!
Obviously, cats love the fact that their food is heart-shaped!!!!
So in a further leap of irrefutable logic I was able to connect this fact with the fact that cats love to play with their food and conclude that cat food fashioned into interesting shapes such as hearts, stars, camels and small bears is absolutely certain to be popular with cats everywhere. Cats will clamour for interestingly shaped food and are certain to reject food that is served them in uninteresting amorphous blobs that more often than not look like poo.
So those high-powered business decisions led me inevitably to my coup de grace.
How about cat food fashioned into letters of the alphabet?!!??!
We all know how popular Alphabeti Spaghetti is with small children and cats are kind of like small children, except with more hair and fleas, right?
Obviously, cats are going to love bowls full of their little tidbits fashioned in the shape of letters of the alphabet! Imagine the hours of fun they will have rearranging their Alphabeti-kit-ekati ™ into fun words and sentences such as:
“Hungry” and
“I hate you, human scum.”
Once their food has been served them in fun letters-of-thealphabet shapes, they are not going to want anything else! This is a real winner that will make all investors in my new business idea, Alphabeti-kit-ekati ™ billionaires almost overnight!!!!!!
They will be able, for instance, to arrange their food to spell their own names! Imagine the hours of fun they will have with that! (The cats that is, not the investors).
Research has suggested that just that one simple exercise will raise your cat’s IQ several points!
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(and probably the investors' too). To prove this, only yesterday my own cat, fortunate enough to have the role of guinea pig upon whom I have been able to rigorously test my new concept, actually spelled out correctly the twelve letters of his own name!
So to the clever little feline genius I say, “Well done and thank you, Cilhgkjbfkmjv!!
Sonnet
by Steve Cook
Who will put a song in the hearts of men
And light once more the spark that long since died?
Who'll raise the dead so they might live again
Or laughter bring to children who once cried?
Who'll make the silence ring to joyful chords
Or daub bold dreams upon the slate of days
And raise his pen where once he raised a sword
To script an end to grief upon life's page?
Who'll say to mothers they need weep no more
Or troubled fathers tell there's naught to fear,
For shadows of their dread to distant shores
Have fled to lift the siege of care-worn years?
Who'll to their rescue ride and fears dispel
If not the hero sleeping in themselves?
Surrey Fashion Week Models Up for Global Awards!
by Angela Sara West
Congratulations to our Surrey Fashion Week models Daniella and Anamaria, who are in the running for prestigious Women’s Business Club Awards!
Known as ‘The Oscars of Business’, honouring, elevating and empowering women, this annual flagship VIP event celebrates women’s exceptional achievements.
Director of Horley’s Diva Body Sculpting, has a nod in the ‘Health & Wellness’ category, celebrating outstanding women making a remarkable difference in the sector, empowering individuals and local communities to lead healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Voting link coming soon!
Join Daniella, Anamaria and I, along with industry leaders, visionaries and trailblazers making waves in their fields, at the much-anticipated awards ceremony on 3rd December, which takes place in a Grade II-listed London landmark boasting captivating views of Westminster Abbey.
Broadcast globally, a luxurious red-carpet reception will be followed by an evening of prestige, glamour and inspiration, along with exciting live entertainment at this sparkling awards event: https://womensbusiness.club/s/vipawards
Photo: Surrey Fashion Week model & Miss Britannia Director, Daniella
Photo: Surrey Fashion model Anamaria, Director of Diva Body Sculpting, Horley – credit Julie Suttle @purepicsbyjules
Stick to the rules!
by Peter Tucker
TheArchway Theatre, located in Horley, Surrey, presents Rules for Living, written by Sam Holcroft. This production is directed by Robert Gregory and Caroline Donald.
ABOUTTH PRODUCTION
Rules for Living looks at what happens when an extended family gathers in the kitchen for a traditional Christmas and they each follow rigidly their own coping strategies, or rules for living.
As co-director Robert Gregory explains: “This theatrically playful, dark comedy was written ten years ago, but its central themes of mental health and family life are today possibly even more relevant and important. In Sam Holcroft’s play, we see long-held mechanisms for survival laid bare, accusations fly, relationships deconstruct and the rules take over.”
The show is from the outset not without its challenges from both acting and technical perspectives, comments co-director Caroline Donald. “The comedy and the pathos are heavily dependent on both the
spoken word and the physical interpretation of the roles. These have to be delivered in lockstep with an audio visual presentation of the ‘rules’ where timing is absolutely crucial. In addition, a full Christmas dinner has to appear on stage in every performance!
“However, the development process has been a labour of love which has been fun all the way,” concludes Caroline.
ABOUTTH DIR CTORS
Robert Gregory has been acting at TheArchway since 2008. His recent roles include Jim Trott inAVicar of Dibley Christmas: The Second Coming (2024), Arthur in TheYork Realist (2022) and Henry Saunders in A Comedy of Tenors (2022). Robert was assistant director for The Little Shop of Horrors (2023). He is thrilled to be directing his first production at TheArchway.
Caroline Donald is known both for her on-stage work in pantomime and for keeping things running smoothly behind the scenes as stage manager on Saucy Jack and the Space Vixens, MuchAdoAbout Nothing, and Clue. continued on next page
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P RFORMANC S
7:45pm: Wednesday 29th October to Saturday 1st November; and Tuesday 4th to Saturday 8th November 2025; plus a matinee performance at 2:00pm on Saturday 1st November.
FURTH R INFORMATION AND TICK TS
More information, as well as tickets, can be obtained via TheArchway’s website:
Caroline Donald and Robert Gregory, co-directors of Rules for Living (at The Archway Theatre, Horley, Surrey, 29 Oct to 8 Nov 2025) www.archwaytheatre.co.uk.
Tickets: £11.50 (members); £13.50 (non-members).
ABOUTTH ARCHWAY TH ATR
TheArchway Theatre is among Surrey's leading repertory drama theatres.
Nestled in Horley’s atmospheric railway arches, TheArchway Theatre Company has for over 70 years been surprising and delighting local residents and visitors with high quality productions, ranging from Shakespeare and the classics, through modern comedies, musicals and pantomimes, to experimental pieces that push the boundaries of the form.
A member of the prestigious Little Theatre Guild, theArchway boasts a comfortable 95-seat auditorium and a cosy, recently refurbished bar, where audience members and cast and crew can relax and enjoy the anticipation and afterglow of memorable performances.
TheArchway’s ten main house productions per year run for ten nights each. In addition, there is a studio space for smaller-scale shows and theYouth Workshop and YoungAdults group offer fantastic opportunities for the young people of the area to experience the thrill of putting on live theatre.
Horley United FC
There has been a lot of action this month from the club’s girl’s section!
LITTLE LIONESSES
… come play like a Lioness! We are now four weeks into the club’s new adventure and what a success this has been! The Little Lionesses is a fun football training sessions for girls age 4-8. There are plenty of spaces still available so come along for a free 4-week trial. Please get in touch with the club for further information recruitment@horleyunitedfc.club or 07866 514193.
Horley United FC U14 Girls are looking for a female coach!
This is a fantastic opportunity whether you are experienced or new to coaching. The team train on Wednesday’s and play matches Sundays in the mid Sussex league. Please contact Dave Heaton for further information on 07766 738291.
Horley United U10 Girls!
A trip to the Meadowbank Stadium to cheer on Dorking Wanderers FC Ladies and celebrate their 1-0 win plus the U10 Girls were the Ladies team Mascots for the day! Such a lovely opportunity for the girls, a fantastic day out
Horley United U14 Girls!
Surrey FA’s Kirk Ritchie came down to the girls training session to provide them with a game ready period pack. Through partnership with Thorpe Park and Hey Girls , the pack ensures that girls and women in grassroots football do not miss out on playing due to lack of menstrual products.
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HORL Y UNIT D FC CONTINU S TO GROW!
The club has grown significantly only the last two years; we started with just four teams and this season we are now sixteen! We could not do this without the amazing Horley community and sponsors. Here are some of our amazing sponsors!
Franklin Music Centre – November 2025
A Season of Live Music, Creativity and Community
Franklin Music Centre continues to bring you a weekly dose of music, connection and creativity at the heart of our community. Whether you love to sing, play, perform or simply listen, there’s something here for you.
Franklin Voices Community Choir
A friendly, inclusive choir meeting every Monday evening no experience needed, just a love of singing. When: Mondays, 7:30–9:00pm (next rehearsal 3 November)
Where: St John’s Refectory, Earlswood. Cost: First session free; then £10 per session or £25/month by Direct Debit
Tuesday Nights with Franklin Music - Suppertime Concert with Bridget Yee – Pianist
Malaysian pianist Bridget Yee has recently distinguished herself on the international stage, winning
both the Windsor International Piano Competition and the Beecham International Piano Competition, where she was also honoured with the coveted Best Overall Competitor Prize. In her upcoming recital, Bridget will perform a dynamic and expressive programme featuring Gubaidulina’s Chaconne, Beethoven’s Sonata in E-flat major, Op. 31 No. 3, and Liszt’s Après une lecture du Dante: Fantasia quasi-Sonata, S.161 No. 7. When: Tuesday 7 October, 6:30–7:30pm
Where: St John’s Church, Earlswood. Tickets: £10 (free for children, students, and those unable to pay)
Musicians Collective – All
Abilities Welcome An inclusive evening for instrumentalists: jam sessions, soloing tips, performance guidance, and a relaxed, social atmosphere
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Franklin Music continued from previous page
When: Tuesday 11 November, 7:30–9:30pm. Where: The Ivory Lounge, Reigate
Tickets: £15 (booking required)
Open Mic Night
A welcoming night for singers, musicians, poets and more. Perform or simply come and support your local talent. 20-minute slots available – sign up in advance via our website or on the night. When: Tuesday 18 November, 7:30–10:00pm. Where: Old Chestnut, Earlswood (just steps from the station).
Vocal Collective – All Voices Welcome
Monthly workshop with warm-ups, harmony work, and chances to sing solo or in groups. Build confidence and explore your voice in a friendly space. When: Tuesday 25 November, 7:30–9:30pm Where: The Ivory Lounge, Reigate
Tickets: £15 (booking required)
Networking Event - Connecting Our Music Community
We’re excited to announce our next collaboration bringing together local musicians, choir leaders, ensembles, and venues. Join us at our upcoming Networking Event – a chance to connect with others in your local music community, enjoy inspiring
speakers and live performances, take part in mentoring sessions, and share your ideas for future workshops, concerts, and creative collaborations. This is a wonderful opportunity to meet like-minded people, explore new possibilities, and strengthen the musical landscape of our area.
We’re delighted to welcome guest speakers Dave Oberle, drummer with Gryphon and a familiar face on the local music scene for over four decades, and Tim Glynne-Jones, founder of New Music Nights and organiser of the Reigate Summer Festival.
Whether you’re a performer, organiser, venue manager or music enthusiast, come along and be part of the conversation. Let’s build something together. When: Sunday 16 November, 7:30 – 9:30pm. Where: The Hive Rooms, Bayhorne Lane, Horley RH6 9ES
Get Involved
For tickets, bookings, or more information, visit www.franklinmusic.net.
We’d love to welcome you to one or many of our musical gatherings this autumn
Farewell
for now!
We hope you enjoyed this issue of the Town Crier. The November 2025 issue is already under construction so please don’t miss out and get your submissions in early.