Chuckles From Down Under

By: Jane Sullivan, Bell Vet Services

A man who lived next door to a pub had a favourite tabby cat. Sadly, the cat was run over by a truck and killed. A year later, at around midnight, the publican was tidying up the empty bar when suddenly the ghost of the cat appeared, holding its severed tail in its paw.

“Can you help me?” asked the cat’s ghost. “I used to live next door to you until I was run over by a truck.”

“Yes, I remember you,” said the publican. “You were a very nice cat – the customers really liked you.”

“The thing is,” the cat went on, “this bit of tail I’m holding was cut off in the accident that killed me and I’ve been wandering around with it for a year. I know it’s late, but would you sew it back on for me?”

“No, I’m sorry,” replied the publican. “Much as I would like to help you, I’m afraid I can’t. You see, I’m not allowed to retail spirits after eleven o’clock.”

A man awoke one day feeling not at all well. He went to the doctor and passed out in his office.

When he awoke, he found he was in a hospital bed and several doctors were checking on him through an observation window.

He managed to croak out, “Wha? What happened? What’s wrong with me?”