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Elizabeth Gorman ’18 samples some of the many foods the Ithaca Farmer’s Market has to offer. | Page 8

Jack Jones ’18 calls Mick Jenkin’s Wave[s] ‘rewarding,’ but ‘pretentious and preachy’ at times. | Page 10

After a disappointing 2014 season, field hockey hopes to come back this year and clinch a title. | Page 16

Cornell Scales Back Summer Book Project Profs express disappointment over decision

By CHRISTOPHER BYRNS Sun Staff Writer

YICHEN DONG / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

So it goes | Students in the Class of 2019 read Slaughterhouse-Five, written by notable alumnus Kurt Vonnegut Jr. ’44, for the New Student Reading Project.

Citing declining participation and difficulty in attracting faculty involvement, the Office of the Vice Provost scaled back the New Student Reading Project this year, with some objections from faculty involved in the project.

The project — which started 15 years ago — provided all new students with a book to read over the summer and then involved students in group discussions upon their arrival on campus.

In an email obtained by The Sun, a staff assistant from the Office of the Vice Provost says the New Student Reading Project will no longer involve “Sunday talks” or “small group discussions.” Instead, this year’s programming would primarily consist of events at the Carol Tatkon Center and an ongoing exhibition at the Johnson Museum.

Among the reasons for the changes to the project, the email cites difSee PROJECT page 4

Judge Dismisses Profs Say New BME Major $500K Lawsuit Will See‘Substantial’Growth Filed Against C.U.

By STEPHANIE YAN

Sun Staff Writer

By EMILY FRIEDMAN Sun Staff Writer

A federal judge dismissed a $500,000 lawsuit filed against Cornell by a former veterinary college student Tuesday.

In 2006, Karen Habitzreuther — then a second-year veterinary student — brought

Habitzreuther alleged that she lost three years of credits and suffered $500,000 worth of damages, court documents state. her German Shepard, Shandor, to campus, according to court documents. When Shandor fell ill with an ear infection, Habitzreuther brought him to the Community Practice Service Clinic at the veterinary college for treatment. During the exam, Shandor bit the fourth-year student clinician who was examining him.

Following the incident, the Faculty Administrative Board conducted a hearing to decide if Habitzreuther had violated the honor code by failing to disclose that the dog had “dominance aggression problems” even though she knew that he had bitten See LAWSUIT page 5

With four possible concentrations, a $50 million gift from Nancy ’62 and Peter Meinig ’61 and strong interest from both current and prospective students, professors are saying the new major in biomedical engineering is “a big deal.”

The Department of Biomedical Engineering previously only offered Ph.D. degrees, a masters of engineering and an undergraduate minor because of its relative newness — it was founded in 2004 — and a lack of faculty, according to Prof.

Jonathan Butcher, biomedical engineering.

However, the department announced in late June that with the Meinig’s donation,

the Meinig School of Biomedical Engineering and a major would be established.

“The plan all along was that at some point, when the numbers of faculty grew to a size where we would be able to sustain an undergraduate major, that we would launch one,” said Prof. Chris Schaffer, biomedical engineering.

According to Butcher, surveys show that studying biomedical engineering is a priority to the next generation of engineers. The College of Engineering surveyed students “who apply to Cornell and ultimately don’t go, or the people who don’t apply to Cornell at all but are still See BME page 5

Feeling s-Weill | Weill Hall is the home of the Nancy E. and Peter C. Meinig School of Biomedical Engineering.

BRITTNEY CHEW / SUN NEWS PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR

BY THE NUMBERS $50 million

Amount of the gift made by Nancy ’62 and Peter Meinig ’61 that helped make the expansion of the biomedical engineering department possible, according to Prof.

Jonathan Butcher.

Four concentrations

Students in the major can choose to concentrate in molecular, cellular and tissue engineering, biomaterials and drug delivery, biomedical imaging and instrumentation as well as biomedical mechanics and mechanobiology.

Six years

of developing the major, according to Butcher.

60 percent

of the engineering college’s current freshmen are interested in biomedical engineering, according to the University.

2004

When the department of biomedical engineering was created at Cornell.

2 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 27, 2015

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Thursday, August 27, 2015

weather FORECAST

Daybook Today WICC Freshmen Welcome Social 1 - 5 p.m., Engineering Quad

The Cornell Daily Sun Recruitment Session 4:45 p.m., 251 Malott Hall

Student Government Information Session 7 p.m., 3330 South Balch Hall

Institutionalizing Innovation in Communities: Complete Streets in Action 12:20 p.m., 165 McGraw Hall Finding Your Way: Maps 101 2 - 2:30 p.m., Olin Library Eudemian Ethics Conference 3 - 6 p.m., 206 Stimson Hall Transfer Panel 3 - 5 p.m., 3330 South Balch Hall Bienvenidos BBQ 5 p.m., Anna Comstock Hall

When the phrase 3-to-1 comes up in Cornell student discussions, it’s usually a good bet that it doesn’t refer to the odds on the daily double at Aqueduct. In all probability, instead, the students are talking about the Cornell ratio — three eager Cornell males to every lovely (or otherwise) coed.

At last count, undergraduate enrollment consisted of 6,837 men and 2,328 women.

This omnipresent fact-of-life will drastically effect the lives of the vast majority of Cornellians of both sexes. Becase of 3:1, the coed is far more likely to enjoy the fruits of the Cornell social experience as a freshman than is her male counter-part.

The newly arrived coed is swarmed, fawned and pawed over by eager upperclassmen, almost as soon as she leaves the protective glare of her departing parents.

The Cornell males’ arrival is heraleded by considerably less fanfare, as he arrives at the bottom of Libe Slope and soon discovers that his social status is at best equal to his geographical standing.

While the coed is faced with the awful decision of

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which of three offers for a Thursday afternoon lunch date to accept, the males’ hopes for a weekend of nirvana in the company of a coed are usually dashed by “I’m sorry, but already have a date.”

After a few weeks of such responses the freshman male replies to queries about coeds with such lines as: “The good-looking girls, they think they are so tough, they won’t even talk to you,” or “after being shot down fifteen times in three weeks you just give up.”

One especially bitter freshman, attempting to thumb a ride to Ithaca College’s greener pastures (where the 3:1 ratio is reversed), remarked, “No wonder they call Cornell a farm school. All the girls are pigs.”

Meanwhile, the coeds can afford to ignore such comments as they madly rush from football games to fraternity parties to freshmen “teas.” These cozy gettogethers are designed to give Cornell’s highly touted fraternity men, many of whom are just a year away from their humble freshman origins, a chance to meet a captive coed horde.

At last count, only one of Cornell’s 52 fraternities actually serves tea.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 27, 2015 3

NEWS

Local Motorcycle Riders On the Rise In New York State The number of people choosing to use motorcycles instead of cars has increased dramatically, according to The Ithaca Journal. Between 2007 and 2014, motorcycle ownership in Broome, Tioga, Chemung, Tompkins and Steuben counties rose by nearly 23 percent. In the same years, car usage decreased by 2 percent, The Journal reported. Because motorcycle accidents in New York also increased by close to 20 percent between 2007 and 2013, some local motorcycle dealers and colleges are with The partnering Motorcycle Safety Foundation to prevent accidents.

Cornell Veterinary School Students to Be Featured on National Geographic Show Vet School will follow day-to-day experiences of seven aspiring veterinarians

By ARIEL SEIDNER Sun Staff Writer

Students from Cornell’s College of Veterinary Medicine will be featured in a new National Geographic WILD TV show that will premiere on Saturday.

The show, called Vet School, will follow first-year and fourth-year veterinary students at the veterinary college as they perform daily tasks such as draw blood, handle “life-and-death surgeries and emergencies” and deal with the stress of “life as an aspiring veterinarian,” according to a press release from the show.

Prof. Lorin Warnick Ph.D. ’94, interim dean of the veterinary college, said both faculty and students were “honored” to be asked to participate in Vet School because of the spotlight it will put on veterinary care. The show was filmed during the past academic year.

“We viewed this show as a fantastic opportunity to raise the profile of the veterinary profession and to help the public understand the rigorous education leading to a veterinary degree,” Warnick said.

The show will follow first-year students Hannah Brodlie, Cristina Bustamante and Dan Cimino — who are at the beginning of their veterinary educational careers — as well as fourth-year students Sam

Spread the word

National Maryland to Instate New Justice Department Guidelines Maryland became the first state to put guidelines in place to ban racial or ethnic discrimination at traffic stops, according to The New York Times. Maryland created the law eight months after the Justice Department recommended that states restrict police officers from discriminating against people based on race, ethnicity, gender or religion. Brian E. Frosh, Maryland Attorney General, created a ninepage ruling in which he called racial profiling by law enforcement “deeply unfair,” The Times reported.

Retired Generals Urge Congress to Vote Against Iran Deal Close to 200 retired general and admirals sent Congress a letter asking lawmakers to vote against the Iran nuclear agreement Wednesday, according to The Washington Post. The letter is the most recent in a large number of letters sent to Congress both in opposition to and support of the Iran agreement, The Post reported.

Iran Requests U.S. To Release 19 Prisoners Iran’s Foreign Ministry said the American government is holding 19 citizens on what they describe as “unfound” charges and violations and called for them to be released, according to The New York Times. American officials recently placed increased pressure on Iran to release three American prisoners of Iranian descent, The Times reported.

— Compiled by Madeline Cohen

SONYA RYU / SUN SENIOR PHOTOGRAPHER

Brigid Lucey ’18 chalks on the staircase of the Physical Sciences Building to publicize upcoming auditions for The Chordials.

Dicker, Singen Elliott, Aziza Glass and Aria Hill, who will soon begin their professional careers, according to a University press release.

Viewers of the show will get a glimpse into the “pressures” and “rewards” the students face as they work toward a career in veterinary medicine, according to “We were looking for release. ways to develop the vet theVet School is part of Nat Geo experience and ask the WILD TV’s lineup of shows about people who work with simple question — just and care for animals, according what does it take to be a to Jenny Apostol, executive producer of the show. veterinarian?”

“We were looking for ways to Jenny Apostol develop the vet experience and ask the simple question — just what does it take to be a veterinarian?” Apostol said.

According to Apostol, Cornell was selected as the subject of the show because of its status as one of the top veterinary schools in the country. “[Cornell has] a sophisticated veterinary teaching hospital, and their program is very ‘hands on,’ which means that vet students start working with animals from the first day, which is a great way to illustrate that learning for television viewers,” she said.

Claudia Wheatley, spokesperson of the veterinary college, said that after being approached by National Geographic and receiving a letter of commitment early last year, former college dean and current University Provost Michael Kotlikoff — as well as the college’s senior staff — agreed to participate. “[We] decided to participate as a way to document the breadth and rigor of veterinary medical education, the professionalism of our students, and the tremendous energy, passion and expertise involved in veterinary medical education and practice,” Wheatley said.

The show will consist of six episodes covering topics such as dental surgery, cardiology and anesthesiology, with animals including cats, dogs, horses, sheep, cows and a miniature donkey, according to the University press release.

The goal of the show is to “showcase a specific, unique and highly complex way for people to express their care of and love for animals,” according to Apostol. “... We believe that many, many people think and dream about becoming vets — it’s a great aspiration,” she said. “The students and the staff at Cornell are incredibly inspirational, in the work that they do, their enthusiasm and professionalism and dedication.”

Ariel Seidner can be reached at aseidner@cornellsun.com.

Cornell Ranked 13th Globally by ARWU

By SUN STAFF

Cornell was ranked the 13th best university in the world for the fifth year in a row and 11th best in the nation by the Academic Ranking of World Universities last week.

Harvard University was ranked the world’s best university by the ARWU. Stanford University, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, the University of California, Berkeley and the University of Cambridge rounded out the top five schools on the list.

The University of Cambridge and the University of Oxford were the only two non-U.S. institutions ranked among the top 10.

When broken down into subcategories based on subject fields, Cornell ranked 48th in mathematics, 10th in physics, 15th in chemistry, eighth in computer science and 21st in economics and business, according to the rankings.

The rankings, compiled by researchers from Shanghai Jiao Tong University, have been released annually since its debut in 2003. Six “objective indicators” are used in the methodology to rank more than 1,200 universities across the globe, including the number of researchers from the institution with a high number of citations, number of articles published in certain academic journals and “per capita performance of a university,” according to the ARWU. The Sun’s news department can be reached at news@cornellsun.com.

OLIVER KLIEWE / SUN FILE PHOTO

View from the top | Cornell was named the 13th best university globally by the Academic Ranking of World Universities last week.

4 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 27, 2015

Profs Lament Fate of Book Project Kramnick: Reading project welcomes freshmen into ‘intellectual community’ PROJECT

Continued from page 1

ficulties in engaging students and faculty, along with changes to the overall orientation calendar.

“By and large the students absolutely hate it and make that perfectly clear each year with dwindling participation and fewer essays being turned in, it has been getting more difficult to get faculty members to facilitate,” the assistant said in the email. “With the shortening of orientation by one day, the colleges are putting a lot of pressure on for more time for their college activities.”

The email also stated that the Office of the Vice Provost sees the project involving “a lot of work and expense” with costs “over $100,000” — for what the Office sees as “a small payoff.”

Additionally, the email suggested that the longstanding tradition may be coming to an end.

“This, I’m afraid, is the phasing out of the book project,” the email read.

The Office of the Vice Provost was unavailable to comment Wednesday afternoon.

Some faculty members have expressed their dismay and frustration over the decision to scale back the New Student Reading Project.

Professor Emeritus Isaac Kramnick, government — who helped start the project 15 years ago — expressed his disappointment that the tradition was coming to an end.

“I’m really sad to see it go, because it became in the early years a kind of wonderful revitalization of the community,” Kramnick said. “It was wonderful, it was the way the community reconstituted itself and recommitted itself to a discussion of ideas.”

Prof. Ross Brann, Near Eastern studies, expressed his frustration with the decision, saying the project acted as a way to bring together new students and faculty in an environment of

“intellectual content.”

“I think it is an important way to introduce students and faculty to one another before classes begin,” Brann said. “The more we can break down whatever barriers between students and faculty, I’m in favor of that, and this was one of the ways of doing it.”

Brann said that in his experience, most of his students read the book.

“They may have liked it or not liked it, but they read the book and went to the discussions, Brann said. “The added benefit was supposed to be that everyone would have had that experience together, for good or for bad.”

Kramnick noted that the project had often struggled to find enough participating faculty, but that often times the project would bring in additional members of the Cornell community to lead discussions.

“An unintended consequence and in a way a wonderful development was that since we couldn’t get 250 faculty to participate, we got requests from other people on campus,” Kramnick said. “It was the whole community coming together — staff, faculty, to embrace and welcome the freshmen into this intellectual community.”

In previous years, the program had attracted national attention. In 2002, NPR’s Weekend Edition Sunday reported on the project and its book for that year, Frankenstein. According to Kramnick, the surrounding community embraced the project with other residents and businesses of Ithaca participating.

“The whole community got involved,” Kramnick said. “Wegmans, in the first week of term, had somebody dressed as Frankenstein walking up and down the aisles.”

Christopher Byrns can be reached at cbyrns@cornellsun.com.

NEWS

EPA, State Regulators Missed Potential for Mine Accident BILLINGS, Mont. (AP) — Despite prior warnings that dangerous levels of toxic water were building inside a Colorado mine, federal and state regulators mistakenly concluded the pressure was not high enough to cause an accident, an investigation released Wednesday found.

The pressure blew, however, when a U.S. Protection Environmental Agency team started excavation and cleanup work at the site, unleashing a 3-milliongallon torrent of poisoned mine water that fouled rivers in Colorado, New Mexico and Utah.

Officials previously offered only partial information on events leading up to the Aug. 5 accident that has drawn sharp criticism of the EPA for causing the spill and for its lackluster response.

In the report Wednesday summarizing its internal investigation, EPA officials faulted procedures that left personnel largely unprepared for the spill and recommended changes to avoid a repeat of the accident.

The report also appeared to minimize the agency’s responsibility. Among its conclusions were that a “blowout was likely inevitable” and that an EPA official on the scene had

staged a rapid evacuation effort that kept members of the cleanup crew from being killed.

Based on other records, The Associated Press reported Saturday that EPA managers knew that a release of “large volumes of contaminated mine waters” was a possibility as early as June, 2014, yet drew up only a cursory response plan.

The worries about a large spill were repeated in a May work plan from an agency contractor, Environmental Restoration.

The toxic sludge released from the mine prompted the shutdown of some public drinking water and irrigation systems and tainted hundreds of miles of rivers.

Some farmers on the Navajo Nation who draw water from one of the affected rivers, the San Juan, want to keep irrigation systems shut down for at least a year to avoid contaminated sediments that experts say likely settled onto river bottoms.

EPA Deputy Administrator Stan Meiburg said on a Wednesday conference call that underestimating the water pressure inside the mine workings “was likely the most significant factor relating to the blowout.”

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 27, 2015 5

NEWS

Prof: New Major ‘Flips’ Traditional Approach to Engineering

Students in biomedical engineering major will take five ‘cornerstone’ courses, choose from four concentrations BME

Continued from page 1

really top students,” he said.

The surveys found that many students chose not to attend Cornell because it did not offer a biomedical engineering degree, Butcher said.

Butcher added that faculty were also hesitant to create an undergraduate program because “the way it’s been done is so highly variable across the United States that it’s really difficult to [establish] what exactly a biomedical engineer would know.”

However, Butcher said attitudes changed at the same time that the surveys’ results showed a demand for biomedical engineering.

“It became, in our minds, a unique opportunity to be able to define what biomedical engineering is as a discipline,” he said.

Once the department decided to launch an undergraduate major, the process required “a couple of years’ worth of proposals being pitched to groups within and outside the university, getting feedback, and refining things through discussions among the faculty,” Schaffer said.

According to Schaffer, these proposals not only needed to include an outline of proposed courses, but also had to justify the national need for biomedical engineers and describe the way Cornell would be training them.

“There was also discussion of the broad educational philosophy of this program: the kind of instructional and pedagogical techniques that would be used, the kinds of skills — both technical skills and soft skills — that we want our graduates to emerge with,” Schaffer said.

From start to finish, the process took about six years, Butcher said. The University received state approval for the major this June.

According to Schaffer, the major will follow the core principles of the minor, but will go into topics with

greater depth.

University, 60 percent of the Engineering College’s cur“We took the foundational knowledge in the minor rent freshmen are interested in applications of engineerand we made that the core requirement for the major,” ing to biological systems.

Schaffer said. “It maintains [the minor’s] core curricu“We need to identify lab space, student space and lum of walking through biolproject space, so there’s a lot ogy from the molecular to the of logistics on the table,” van systems scale, with an engi- “We took the foundational knowledge in der Meulen said. “We will neering and quantitative perthe minor and we made that the core have to limit enrollment for spective.” the first several years until all requirement for the major.” of that’s ironed out.”

Students will take five corHowever, van der Meulen nerstone courses that expose Prof. Chris Schaffer said that she hopes to them to different areas of bioincrease enrollment once the medical engineering, after major has been established. which they will choose one of “In a steady state, once we’re running and it’s not four concentrations — molecular, cellular and tissue engineering, biomaterials and drug delivery, biomedical new anymore and we’re just like any other major — so imaging and instrumentation as well as biomedical let’s say in five years, maybe — I would hope that we’d have around 75 to 80 majors in a year,” she said. mechanics and mechanobiology.

Butcher added that the major will see “a substantial In addition to their core classes, they will also take technical labs — for working with various types of amount of growth” in the near future, as more and more instrumentation and materials — and a year-long students affiliate each year.

“Furthermore, as we continue to expand our faculty, design sequence.

According to Butcher, one of the unique aspects of we’ll be able to accommodate even more students,” he Cornell’s biomedical engineering major is that it “flips” said. van der Meulen said that she hopes these students the traditional approach to engineering — in which students learn concepts and then their applications — and will graduate with “experience in quantitative approaches applied to human medicine, and the tools for them to presents the applications upfront.

“We expect that the students will not know how to succeed in that and to go into a variety of career paths,” derive [some] equations at first, but they will know their she said.

According to Schaffer, sophomores in the College of importance and how to manipulate them,” Butcher said. “The idea being that once they finish that class, Engineering will be able to start affiliating this year.

Interested students expressed excitement about takthey now know the key engineering principles involved ... They will also be primed to push deeper into the ing a major that aligns more closely with their interests rigor now that they know why they need to know it and and being Cornell’s first biomedical engineering undergraduates. what they can do with the power it provides.”

“It’s an honor to be able to lead the way,” Andy The large amount of undergraduate interest in biomedical engineering means that the Meinig School may Wong ’18 said. not be able to accommodate all students who want to pursue a major, according to Prof. Marjolein van der Stephanie Yan can be reached Meulen, biomedical engineering. According to the at syan@cornellsun.com.

Former Student Sued Univ. Gunman Kills Two Former Colleagues For $500,000 in Damages Vester Lee Flanagan fires 15 shots on live television LAWSUIT

Continued from page 1

other people in the past, court documents state.

At the hearing, the board recommended that Habitzreuther be suspended for two years. Through written correspondence, the board informed the plaintiff of the decision in late September and October 2006, according to court documents.

In order to be readmitted, the FAB wanted to see evidence that Habitzreuther “underst[ood] the significance of [her] actions” and “how [her] judgments as an aspiring professional [were] impaired,” documents state.

After one year, Habitzreuther applied for readmission for the 200708 academic year. The FAB informed her through letters that they had approved her readmission, but that a final decision would not be available until the following year. The board would then decide if she had fully complied with the terms set forth at the first hearing.

In 2007, Habitzreuther returned and was again brought before the FAB in 2008, according to court documents. The board did not approve her permanent return to the University, expelling her from Cornell.

Habitzreuther alleged that she lost three years of credits and suffered $500,000 worth of damages, court documents state. She claimed that the letters she received from the FAB informing her of her conditional readmission served as a contract the University breached.

Habitzreuther sued the University for $500,000 for breach of contract, breach of the implied covenant of good faith and fair dealing, promissory estoppel and detrimental reliance and fraudulent misrepresentation.

Judge Gary L. Sharpe of the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of New York sided with the University, however, arguing that earning the approval of the FAB was a clear condition of Habitzreuther’s return, which she failed to do.

Sharpe also dismissed the other charges, stating that “raising both [breach of contract and breach of the implied good faith and fair dealing] in a single complain is redundant,” documents state.

Sharpe wrote in the decision that “at its essence, Habitzreuther’s complaint is a challenge to Cornell’s academic decision to expel her.”

According to New York CPLR. Article 78 and the New York State of Appeals, courts can only play a “restricted role” in dealing with controversies involving universities. In addition, there is a four month statute of limitations for Article 78 proceedings, making it too late for Habitzreuther to make these claims.

Although Sharpe acknowledged that an Article 78 proceeding would have been a more appropriate venue to voice these complaints, he also says that “her breach of contract claims fails on the merits,” according to court documents.

Emily Friedman can be reached at efriedman@cornellsun.com.

MONETA, Va. (AP) — He planned it all so carefully — a choreographed execution of two former colleagues, broadcast live to a horrified television audience, and also recorded by him and then shared worldwide across social media.

Vester Lee Flanagan’s own video shows him approaching WDJB reporter Alison Parker and cameraman Adam Ward, gun in hand, as they conduct an interview. He points the gun at Parker and then at Ward, but he waits patiently to shoot until he knows that Parker is on camera, so she will be gunned down on air.

TV viewers heard about the first eight of 15 shots.

They saw Parker scream and run, and heard her crying “Oh, my God!” as she fell. Ward fell, too, and the camera he had been holding on his shoulder captured a fleeting image of the suspect holding a handgun.

That man, authorities said, was Flanagan — a former staffer who used the on-air name of Bryce Williams and was fired by WDBJ last year, a man who always was looking for reasons to take offense, colleagues recalled. He fled the scene but then posted his own 56-second video of the murders on Twitter and

Facebook. He later ran off a highway while being pursued hundreds of miles away and was captured; he died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

Wednesday’s on-air murders reverberated far from central Virginia because that’s just what the killer wanted — not just to avenge perceived wrongs, but to gain maximum, viral exposure. He used his insider’s knowledge of TV journalism against his victims — a 24-year-old reporter who was a rising star and a 27-year-old cameraman engaged to a producer who watched the slaughter live from the control room.

Washington Wildfires Still Raging SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) — Smoke from big wildfires burning east of the Cascade Range hurt air quality Wednesday and hampered efforts by crews battling the flames in Washington state.

Smoky conditions grounded helicopters and airplanes that had been fighting the fires, and air quality was rated as unhealthy for some people in Spokane County, which has nearly 500,000 residents.

Crews battling a 262-

square mile blaze near the town of Republic were also battling smoke as well as flames, fire spokesman Donnie Davis said.

“Everybody up here is rubbing their eyes,” Davis said. “It’s brutal.”

Davis said the cause of the fire remained under investigation.

A wildfire in Okanogan — the largest blaze ever recorded in the state — grew to nearly 438 square miles and heavy smoke also

grounded air resources, fire spokesman Rick Isaacson said.

“We’re still socked in,” Isaacson said. “There's maybe one mile of visibility.”

So far, officials have counted 40 homes and 40 outbuildings destroyed by the blaze, Okanogan County Sheriff Frank Rogers said. The fire is about 17 percent contained by more than 1,300 firefighters.

OPINION

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

Gaby Leung |

The Beauty of the Unexpected

Independent Since 1880 133RD EDITORIAL BOARD TYLER ALICEA ’16 Editor in Chief

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WORKING ON TODAY’S SUN DESIGN DESKERS PHOTO NIGHT EDITOR NEWS DESKERS SPORTS DESKER ARTS DESKER DINING DESKER

Samantha Briggs ’16 Madeline Salinas ‘16 Kaiwen Zheng ’18 Michaela Brew ’18 Rebecca Blair ’18 Paulina Glass ’18 Joon Lee ’17 Mike Sosnick ’16 Emily Jones ’18

Tom the Dancing Bug

By Ruben Bolling

Serendipitous Musings

I

went from a senior to a freshman in don’t seem to understand is that less than three months. Although things have a funny, if not unexpectbecoming a freshman at Cornell ed, way of working out. Although University is far more exciting than these situations don’t usually turn out becoming a freshman in high school, the way we think they will, we gain so the nerves that I experienced were infi- much more in the process. Being put nitely worse. Senior year was a whirl- in an unfamiliar — or even uncomwind of college applications, anxious fortable — position helps us grow as waiting, jubilation and then more (this individuals.

I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong time, excruciating) waiting. As soon as I knew I was heading off to Ithaca in to imagine how an event will turn out.

August, high school became torturous. There are times when we need to menA prison. I wanted to leave as soon as tally and physically prepare ourselves. possible so I could embark on what I If we’re stressed out about something knew would be an unforgettable four that might happen, then actively years. I couldn’t help but dwell on what doing something about it is far more Orientation Week would be like, how I effective than thinking about all the would manage to get around campus ways it could turn out badly. On the without feeling hopelessly lost and if I other hand, it’s difficult to hinder the would ever meet the right group of overly optimistic thoughts that enter our heads. people. I was There is nothputting together wrong with in my head how My first few days at Cornell ing an believing I thought things event will go would turn out were filled with more w o n d e r f u l l y, — something but reminding that made me both excited unexpected things than I could ourselves that nothing is perand nervous.

Among many ever have imagined ... I didn’t fect gives us a reality check. other things, It’s important the swim test know how intelligent and to embrace the worried me the imperfections most. I imagquirky and passionate and that come with ined hordes of every situation people would crazy Cornellians really were we may be part be watching me of, not be make a fool of defeated that myself as I attempted to swim my first 25 yards, it’s not going as planned.

If we knew how everything was half-heartedly backstroke the second lap and possibly drown the third. I going to turn out, what would happen thought of almost every way the swim to the excitement and anticipation of the unknown? We aren’t crystal balls, test could go wrong.

On the flip side, when I imagined and we can’t predict the future.

My first few days at Cornell were moving into my dorm and beginning Orientation Week, I thought every- filled with more unexpected things body would suddenly be great friends. than I could ever have imagined. I I thought all the freshmen would be don’t think I could have imagined the happy and amiable and ready to get to feeling of walking to Collegetown know others. I thought things would with a new group of people and hearing the upperclassmen cheer us on. I be instant.

The thing is, reality usually falls was unaware of how much the lack of somewhere in the middle. The swim air conditioning in Donlon Hall test was in no way a breeze, but it was would really affect me. I didn’t think I definitely doable. And Orientation would be running on less than five Week wasn’t all fun and games like it hours of sleep a night until later on in was made out to be. It’s hard to pre- the semester. I didn’t know how pare yourself for the exhaustion of extremely blessed I would feel that I introducing yourself to so many peo- hadn’t scheduled a 8 a.m. class like the ple and trying, but failing, to remem- other poor, unfortunate souls I knew. ber their names. Some people you I didn’t know how intelligent and instantly have a connection with; oth- quirky and passionate and crazy Cornellians really were. ers not so much.

Honestly, some of the best memoAs much as I believe over thinking and imaginations arises from the fear ries are made when we don’t know of not knowing the certainty of an what to expect. The uncertainty of an event, I also think it’s a subconscious event may be daunting at first, but it defense mechanism. If we believe the opens the mind to different possibiliworst will happen (and the probability ties and keeps judgements and preorof the worst happening is close to dained thoughts from taking over.

Let’s stop overthinking and start none), then anything that occurs will be better than we imagined. The living. downfall occurs when we hype up an event. It would be wonderful if every- Gaby Leung is a freshman in the College of Arts thing went as planned, if things and Sciences. She can be reached atgl376@corworked out perfectly, if reality was as nell.edu. Serendipitous Musings appears alterglorious as our imagination. What we nate Thursdays this semester.

CORRECTION An Aug. 26 sports story, “Newman, Gallagher Take Over Swim Program,” incorrectly identified the author of the piece. In fact, Shan Dhaliwal wrote the piece.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 27, 2015 7

OPINION

Kevin Kowalewski | Democratic Dialogue

I

Let’s Be Honest With Ourselves

was fortunate to grow up as a part of the American middle class — and today, even more fortunate to be attending Cornell University. As I recognize my own privilege, I realize that this is a dream that is becoming ever more distant to many others. I believe that we all deserve a chance to succeed — that our economy and our political system should reward hard work, not those who exploit legal loopholes and obtain unfair advantages. Even more simply, I believe our country should stand by our traditions of democracy, equality and opportunity. And I am a Democrat because I know that only one political party will truly stand up for these principles.

In the past several decades, the United States has experienced an alarming rise in economic inequality. Across almost every measure — annual income, household wealth and generational mobility — outcomes have shifted in favor of those at the very top of our economic system.

Correspondingly, as the wealthiest Americans enjoy ever-greater success, middle-class and working-class Americans suffer from stagnant wages, unemployment and increasing levels of debt. Unfortunately, these changes have resulted from a natural progression of our nation’s chosen policy path.

Since the Reagan administration, the federal government has pursued an

approach that favors the most privileged.

High-income earners have received substantial tax cuts — and large industries, especially Wall Street, have been allowed to operate with little regulatory oversight.

Even in the aftermath of the financial crisis, CEOs and corporations bounced back quickly, but everyday workers continue to struggle. Today, most Americans believe

down a crucial portion of the landmark Voting Rights Act, allowing historically discriminatory jurisdictions to be free from federal oversight. Moreover, state legislatures across the nation have enacted voter I.D. laws that are proven to reduce turnout, particularly among minority groups and those in poverty. These election law changes, almost exclusively pushed by the Republican Party, have empowered The decline of the American middle the powerful and weakened the disclass has come hand in hand with the a d v a n t a g e d . erosion of our democratic process. Perhaps it is not hard to see why voter turnout in 2014 was the lowthat the next generation will be worse off est it has been since World War II. than they were. We cannot accept this — Perhaps this is not unintentional.

Yet, at the same time, frustration with we must build an economy that is more the political process has led some fair.

Further, the decline of the American Americans to take interest in an unlikely middle-class has come hand in hand with advocate. Amidst a crowded Republican the erosion of our democratic process. field, Donald Trump sits at the top of Recent rulings from the Supreme Court pack. Although Trump's campaign has have dismantled our system of campaign received the most attention for his bomfinance regulation, paving the way for a bastic persona — he is most passionate political system bought by corporations when discussing himself — it would be a mistake to ignore his actual political mesand the wealthiest Americans.

Perversely, these changes have been sage. His candidacy has resonated because accompanied by new restrictions on vot- it focuses on the insecurities created by ing rights. In 2013, the Court struck the decline of democratic participation

and our middle class. Trump’s call to “Make America Great Again” targets a core group of Americans who are deeply disillusioned with our system. But instead of channeling these sentiments into productive change, he returns to the worst impulses of our past — such as scare tactics, racism and nativism to name a few.

Indeed, with his recent statements on immigration, Trump has introduced a disturbing tone of hate into our national conversation.

I urge us to reject this turn. We cannot become adversarial to each other, nor can we reject the ability of government to solve our national problems. This is why we cannot afford to just stand by and watch. Apathy is a tempting impulse, but if we are silent, the voices of those like Trump will be the only ones that people hear. Instead, we need to be steadfast advocates for the principles we believe in.

And we must recognize the danger of deeming both parties “the same.” If we fail to be candid about the fundamental choice our country faces, we risk not only the further dissolution of our economic dreams, but our democratic system as well. Let us not sigh our way into that darker future.

Kevin Kowalewski is a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences. He may be reached at krk78@cornell.edu.

Democratic Dialogue appears alternate Thursdays this semester.

THROWDOWN THURSDAYS Michael Glanzel | Cornell Shrugged

I

Raised Republican

was raised a Republican. While others might have grown up Methodist, Jewish or Catholic, my upbringing was a product of Reagan-era conservatism. I remember when I first discovered my Republican identity. I was seven years old and asked my dad at the dinner table one night, “Are we Democrats or Republicans?” My dad proudly replied, “We’re Republicans.” I was sold.

As I grew older, I began to have a more comprehensive understanding of the differences between the two parties. And as I grew wiser, I began to more firmly believe in the tenets of modern conservatism. For me, the center-right ideology of the Republican Party makes sense: We must conserve spending, simplify the tax and regulatory codes, cut taxes, build a robust defense and be very wary of an overly intrusive government.

Yet, I can also sympathize with modern liberalism.

It is a noble idea to want to create a large social safety net for society, establish a working wage, and to increase taxes on the wealthiest to help the poorest.

However, when I look at debt-ridden Europe (a continent known for boldly implementing liberal ideologies), I cannot help but be reminded that while the intentions of liberalism are certainly honorable, the outcome can be devastating.

As you have probably noticed by now, I am mostly concerned with issues of the economy and foreign policy — which is generally rare for a college student, as most students tend to focus on social issues.

Personally, social issues are not at the top of my priority list. While surely debates over gay marriage, guns and abortion are important for our society; I cannot help but think that our $18.6 trillion debt, a poverty rate of 14.3 percent, a 10.8 percent real unemployment rate and growing concerns over the Federal Reserve, ISIS, Russia, Cuba, Iran and North Korea are more pressing issues.

In truth, I believe that the three most pressing issues of our time have nothing to do with social issues. For me, the sluggish economy, rising debt and ISIS pose the greatest threat to American ingenuity and prosperity.

The Economy: As John F. Kennedy once said, “a rising tide lifts all boats.” In other words, if the economy grows at a strong pace, then all Americans will profit. I believe that if society as a whole wants to improve,

For me, the sluggish economy, rising debts and ISIS pose the greatest threat to American ingenuity and prosperity. then the economy must be front and center. Yet today’s politicians, especially those in my own party, seem to have lost their focus on this issue. While President Bush III talks about “anchor babies” and Donald Trump argues with Megyn Kelly, the real issues of significance are lost. Jeb Bush says he wants four percent GDP growth, yet how does he expect to attain such a lofty goal? Donald Trump says he’ll make America more prosperous than it ever has been, yet where are the policy specifics (granted, of course, I have serious doubts as to whether Trump is truly a Republican)? If we want to see a decline in income inequality, increased consumer confidence and a higher standard of living, then the leaders of my party need to stop wasting their time and focus on the issues.

The Debt: While Paul Krugman floods the New York Times op-ed section with rants about how it’s okay to have a $18.6 trillion debt, he is virtually opposed by almost every leader within the govern-

ment.Even President Obama admits that our growing debt is a serious liability for the future.Yet little has been done in this sector. Surely, politicians rant about how the size of the debt and how it must be shrunken to preserve America’s posterity. But what has actually been proposed to reduce the debt? Usually politicians suggests marginal cuts in areas like infrastructure and education (two areas that should never receive spending cuts), but often ignores the exploding costs for Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security. Of all the candidates running for presidents, on both sides of the aisle, only one has come forward with a comprehensive plan to reform America’s entitlement system: Chris Christie. But considering the $350 Cornell health fee has generated more national attention than Christie’s candidacy, it is all but assured that the New Jersey governor’s propositions will be ignored.

ISIS: Iraq has long been the heartland of American political and military intervention. Thankfully, most Americans and presidential candidates have had a laser focus on the issue. For me, this issue is the most terrifying, as the epidemic that is ISIS threatens to undo years of economic and human costs. However, as with the debt and the economy, few candidates (both Republican and Democratic) have proposed specific policies on how to deal with the issue.

When looking through the lens of ISIS, the debt and the economy, I think it’s pretty clear why I tend to focus on these issues and not social frustrations. While I am certainly irritated with my party for not providing clear specifics on the issues, I do have confidence that truly substantive candidates — such as Marco Rubio, Carly Fiorina and John Kasich — will rise to the top of the pack and help lead the nation.

Michael Glanzel is a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences. He may be reached at mg786@cornell.edu. Cornell Shrugged appears alternate Thursdays this semester.

8 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 27, 2015

DINING GUIDE

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

Dining Guide

Your source for good food

A Trip for The Taste Buds:

The Ithaca Farmers’ Market

By ELIZABETH GORMAN Sun Staff Writer

A

t the end of last semester, I had mixed feelings about staying in Ithaca from June to August. Although I had an awesome job and housing situation lined up, I feared that my cravings to travel and explore would go unsatisfied. How wrong I was: Second semester Lizzi could never have predicted that I would be able to travel extensively and inexpensively without leaving Ithaca city limits.

How, you might wonder? My summer travel was of a more

to Steamboat Landing would be a straightforward mission to get my share and get out. But on the first trek down, I realized that the Farmers’ Market is more than just a place to buy fresh produce, luscious cheeses and delicious wine at reasonable prices. The Farmers’ Market can give your taste buds a passport to five continents, no pesky visas or expensive plane tickets required.

Want to explore Southeast Asia? Try Thai mango purple sticky rice or Vietnamese summer rolls — be sure to get a spoon so you can eat all of your peanut sauce. I spent many Sunday afternoons munching on the Cambodian stands’ crunchy, spicy, refreshing, offerings such as num bumpong (veggie cakes) and banh chev (khmer pancake). For something sweeter, try the cheak chhean (banana fry).

On a recent country hop, I began my journey in Japan. After enjoying an inari (a satisfyingly fried thin tofu skin filled with flavorful rice) and a futomaki sushi roll, I was ready to jaunt to Mexico.

At The Cactus Heads, I enjoyed a classic chiles rellenos. Following a late night, the fried shell filled with oozing cheese and topped with a counteracting spicy chile sauce is bound to help you recover and see the world as a better place.

If you happen to dislike fried dough and cheese for some reason, it’s still worth getting out of bed for a Solaz breakfast burrito — the breakfast that made me believe in love at first sight. Before seducing your burrito into a first date (by ordering it), be sure to grab some coffee or juice to sip while you wait in the inevitably long line. It’s a worthwhile wait, however: the Solaz 8” and 10” burritos have been served since 1989.

After taking a break to sit on the dock and watch the ravenous ducks that patrol the inlets’ waters for food scraps, I strolled over to Sunrise Samosas for a pleasant, almost plain Indian rice pudding. If you’re looking for something sweeter, it’s just as easy to wander briefly into Veronika’s for a crepe or Eastern European baked treats, or to a number of other stands selling desserts.

The Farmers’ Market can give your taste bugs a passport to five continents, no pesky visas or expensive plane tickets required. gustatory fashion.

Lucky for me, I had received a Community Supported Agriculture share as a birthday gift, and so was “forced” to go to the Ithaca Farmers’ Market every Sunday to pick up my vegetables. At first, I thought my trips down

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You’ll find decadent brownies, delicate pastries, fruit tarts, puddings, cakes and more as you search each wing of the market.

Like on any good adventure, I didn’t travel alone. On this particular trip and every other weekend, my friends and I found foods that were new to us, yet became fast favorites.

One friend experienced “pure bliss” when she ate her first Tibetan veggie momos, steaming hot dumplings served with a delicious pickled purple cabbage salad. Another friend proclaimed Ethiopian injera, a sourdough-like flatbread made from teff, the highlight of her summer.

Part of the fun of exploring the farmers’ market is the slight

ANYA LAIBANGYANG / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

variability in vendors depending on whether you go on Saturday or Sunday. On Saturdays, you won’t want to leave without sampling Macro Mamas’ platters and macrobiotic desserts. You’ll also want to make sure to carboload for evening activities or studying with Fat Boy Bakery’s brioche, croissants or bialys.

Whether you’re going on a date, trying to fight a hangover,

or just exploring Ithaca with friends new and old, be sure to spend a few afternoons at Steamboat Landing before it gets too cold to think about being outside. With options ranging from Cuban to Ethiopian to Tibetan, you’ll feel like you’ve been magically transported from Ithaca.

Elizabeth Gorman can be reached at eg434@cornell.edu.

The Ithaca Farmers’ Market at Steamboat Landing is open: on Saturdays from 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. until October 31. from 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. until December 19. on Sundays from 10:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. until October 26. from 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. until November 29.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 27, 2015 9

CORNELL CAMPUS

Pick up your FREE COPY of

The CorneDaily Sun at these locations on campus

• A.D. White House • Admissions Office • Africana Library Center • Alice Cook Dining • Anabel Taylor Hall • Appel Commons • Baker Hall • Bard Hall • Barnes Hall • Bartels Hall • Bethe House • Big Red Barn • Carl Becker House • Carpenter Hall Library • Center for Intercultural Dialogue • Clark Hall • Computer Services & Financial Aid, East Hill Plaza.

• Cornell Institute for Social & Economic Research • Cornell Store • Corson Hall • Court Hall • Dairy Bar

• Day Hall Main Lobby • Dickson Hall • Donlon Hall • Duffield Hall • East Hill Office Complex • Environmental Health & Safety Building • Flora Rose • Gannett • Goldie’s (Physical Sci. Building) • Goldwin Smith • Hasbrouck Center • Horticulture Office • Humphreys Service Building.

• Ives Hall (ILR) • Ivy Room (WSH) • Johnson Museum • Keeton House Dining • Kosher Dining Hall • Mac’s Café • Martha’s (MVR) • Mann Library • Myron Taylor Hall + Hughes Dining

• Noyes Main Lobby • Okenshields (Willard Straight Hall) • Olin Hall • Olin Library B Level • Plantations Gift Shop • Rhodes Hall • Risley Dining • Robert Purcell Community Center (RPCC) • Sage Hall Atrium •Sibley Hall, Green Dragon Café • Snee Hall • Statler Lobby • Statler Terrace Restaurant • Tatkon Center • Teagle Hall • Transportation Dept., Maple Ave. • Trillium • Uris Hall • Vet Center (Shurman Hall) •Weill Hall, M1 Rm + Synapsis • Willard Straight Hall Lobby + Dining

OFF CAMPUS • Autumn Leaves Used Books (Ithaca Commons) • Bear Necessities • Center Ithaca • Coal House Café • Collegetown Bagels: Collegetown + Triphammer • Commons Grocery

(Ithaca Commons) • CFCU Triphammer Road + East Hill Plaza) • Newspaper Box on the corner of College Avenue & Dryden Road • Newspaper Box on the corner of State & Aurora Streets

•Express Mart, Community Corners • Hillside Inn • Hilton Garden Inn • Holiday Inn • Ithaca Coffee Company •Ithaca College, Phillips Hall • Jason’s Grocery & Deli

• Kendal • Kraftees • Lifelong • Oasis (Greenstar) • P&C Fresh (East Hill Plaza) • Salvation Army • Shortstop Deli

• Stella’s • Tompkins County Public Library • Tops (Triphammer Road) • Universal Deli • Warren Real Estate (Downtown + Community Corners)

A&E

10 | The Corne¬ Daily Sun | Thursday, August 27, 2015

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Mick Jenkins Wave[s] Cinematic / Good Years

O TE S T S P I N S O

O Jack Jones To a certain extent, rap music has become even more regionalized in recent years. Distinctive sounds continue to develop and arise out of the West Coast, New York and Atlanta scenes, but the city of Chicago is making a case for itself as the most versatile hub for rappers. Amidst this veritable renaissance that has produced the likes of everyone from Chief Keef to Chance the Rapper, 24-year-old Mick Jenkins’ singular voice continues to rise above the crowd with his latest release, Wave[s].

Jenkins put himself on the map in 2014 with his second official mixtape, The Water[s], which featured a jazzy, submerged soundscape that mostly kept out of the way for the M.C.’s dense bars and booming baritone. Songs like “Martyrs” (which boldly featured a “Strange Fruit” sample less than a year after Kanye unleashed “Blood on the Leaves”) established Mick as a self-serious, socially conscious voice with a penchant for poetic flourishes, clever wordplay and hard-hitting delivery. He proved himself as a rapper with bars at a moment when his competition seemed more concerned with singing. And it is in this sense that Wave[s] comes as a disappointment. There is no “Martyrs,” what we get instead are more upbeat numbers and an increased focus on songwriting.

While Wave[s] certainly features aesthetic similarities to The Water[s] — soul-inflected jazz, rolling trap drums and echoed vocals — there are more synths

O

O

O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O

new and notable music in review O O O O O O O

present here, mostly designated to providing a bouncier feel to the instrumentals. Mick wants us to dance, and he mostly succeeds with songs like “Slumber,” “Get Up Get Down” and the project’s clear standout, “Your Love.” As with Water[s], Chicago music collective THEMpeople share production credits on most of the tracks, often providing live instrumentation as well. But it’s newfound star producer Kaytranada who truly brings the heat, jazzing up the production style of his excellent Vic Mensa collaborations in order to better match Mick’s tone and delivery. Unfortunately, the young M.C.’s songwriting often fails to live up to his taste in producers, a severe shortcoming on a project more focused on hooks than raps.

“Get up, get out, get down!” Mick shouts repeatedly on the aptly titled “Get Up Get Down.” It’s an urgent, motivating call for his listeners to do something and take initiative in their lives, yet the unmemorable simplicity (read: laziness) of the hook becomes a disappointment when contrasted with the complex, rapid-fire rhymes crammed between. “We didn't come for Gold Line, from that southside Chicago, I got that / I can't go, ma, I'm still underground, pay attention, that's a gold mine,” he raps nonchalantly, even as the lyric takes on double meaning. The proposed Gold Line addition to Chicago’s public transit system would work to further unify the city’s economically disparate North and South sides. When line after line of his raps

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contains not only airtight rhythm but also clever commentary, it’s hard not to want more out of Mick’s hooks or to expect more memorable songs.

While he can be a powerful lyricist, Jenkins tends to emanate self-seriousness to a fault. The Water[s] felt much like a still-developing M.C. trying to craft his Illmatic, shooting for the stars but landing on the clouds. Jenkins overstuffed the project with confused politics and recurring motifs, such as his constant demand that we, “Drink More Water.” It’s a phrase intended as both literal and figurative, an idea he wants to apply to everything but that ends up meaning nothing. Mick may one day reach the literary peaks of a Kendrick Lamar or Nas, but he’s not there yet.

The Water[s] was a rewarding listen, but the frequency of pretentious and preachy moments also made it exhausting. In comparison, Wave[s] is breezy and soft on the ear thanks to its upbeat production, simplistic hooks and short length. Over time, the success of Wave[s] may lie not in its merits, but rather Mick’s exploration into a diversified sonic palette and his growth as a songwriter. At the very least, it reflects a pleasantly surprising versatility in an already promising young artist.

Jack Jones is a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences. He can be reached at jjones@cornellsun.com.

Dinner and a Movie

BY ALEX REHBERG Sun Senior Editor

A smile followed by a delayed wince — this is the reaction I got from most East Coasters who’ve spent some extended time in Los Angeles. Not vacation time, mind you, but good, long, three-hours-to-go-six-mileson-the-405-freeway, internship time. It’s a love-hate relationship we have with the people, the traffic, egos and good weather and pop-up movie sets over there, and when my friends were warning me about all this before I set off for the West Coast my only thought was, “Whatever, I’m going to Holly-woooooood.” Basically, peace out Ithaca. And you really can’t blame my blind excitement for the beach, prospective pool parties and celebrity sightings (because, of course that’s all bound to happen in L.A., right?) especially after the arctic winter we had last year, so when a twist of fate landed me in the City of Angels, working on a film set, at a marketing company and for an indie director, I eagerly jumped in my car and drove there without looking back.

Now, I won’t make this all about the coasts’ stereotypes and which is better (East vs West, represent the Empire state, etc.) — except for maybe one. Because it is absolutely true what everyone says: There’s nothing like watching a film in L.A. It’s a collective experience that we sadly just don’t value here on the East Coast — and to tell you the truth, I didn’t really value it anymore either: Why go to Cornell Cinema or Cinemapolis when I could sit in my bed under the covers and screen Straight Outta Compton on my laptop? But in L.A. there’s a reason to get out of bed because executives, actors, lawyers, doctors and interns alike are all in line for the premiere of your favorite and most-talked-about movie, parading down Sunset like Freshmen on College Ave. on a Saturday during O-Week (but in cars).

So after two weeks of settling in to Hollywood, and coming back to my apartment exhausted from getting up for my 3 a.m. call times, I finally got an offer to screen a

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

film in true L.A. style — with one of my favorite authors.

The same night Amy premiered at the Arclight on Sunset and Vine, when the streets were full of people in the ’biz celebrating the life of this great and tragic artist — actors and directors lined up on the red carpet, and agents raced from their Ubers to make reservations on the strip to booze and schmooze underneath the limelight of the Hollywood sign — I was at a screening of The Wolfpack down the hall from Amy’s red carpet to see this hyped-up NYC documentary on the lives of the Angulo siblings, who were trapped their whole lives in a Manhattan high-rise and could only escape the confines of their bedrooms by reenacting and pretending to be characters in their favorite films (Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, and basically everything else Tarantino).

I attended the film with a Cornell alum and film director whose name I’ve heard paraded around the marble walls of the Schwartz center for years, and when we turned down the hall past the craziness of Amy to the concession stand, he waved and called out to his friend’s boyfriend and told me, “Oh, that’s Bret’s boyfriend, Todd. Let’s go say hi, I’ll introduce you.” To my surprise, the friendly face seemed to also be a familiar one (someone with whom, it turns out, I’ve had many Twitter conversations with over the years), who kindly told us that “Bret is already in the theatre.”

My heart sank when he extended a hand and my boss said, “Alex, Bret; Bret, Alex” and that “Bret” was actually one of my childhood inspirations — author of American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis, whose books I read at probably too young of an age, jading me to most of the world and causing me to obsess over the woes of being Less Than Zero, which became a bible of sorts for me and my group of friends in high school (it’s all very middle school angst, I’m over it … kind of ), and whose podcasts I still reli-

COURTESY OF MAGNOLIA PICTURES

giously listen to.

After the film Bret, Todd, Justin and myself, like many of the executives leaving Amy, ate dinner off Vine and talked about the aesthetics and issues with The Wolfpack, as well as our conflicting views on Patrick Bruce’s The Overnight featuring Jason Schwartzman, Taylor Schilling and Adam Scott, as well as Sean Baker’s praised Sundance-premiere Tangerine. It was truly an out-ofbody experience — but the excitement and level of talkativeness I experienced at this dinner, although fueled by eating with my favorite author, was really a product of my love for cinema, over everything else. I really miss this personal, collective experience of watching a film in an actual theatre with my friends. So what I’m saying is: Can we just go to the movies again? I realize not everyone is going to drop their papers, and studying for prelims on a Wednesday night to watch a movie at Cornell Cinema, but for those of us who love the art, I think it’s important that we look to the West and actually make an effort to leave our rooms, trek through the snow and share in the movie going experience together.

Alex Rehberg is a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences. He can be reached at arehberg@cornellsun.com.

A&E

Thursday, August 27, 2015 | The Corne¬ Daily Sun | 11

Arts Around Ithaca Jewish Luck

Eskimeaux, Imperials, No Good Doll/Pobaribanon

6 p.m. Sept. 8 at the Schwartz Center

7 p.m. Thursday at The Loft at The Chanticleer

Intrigued by Jewish history and tradition? Come out and enjoy a free showing of classic silent Yiddish film Jewish Luck starring Soviet Yiddish actor, Solomon Mikhoels, with an original piano accompaniment by Steve Sturner.

At 8:30 p.m., the film will be followed by a performance of David Mandelbaum’s one-man adaption of Yosl Rakover Speaks to God. This screening is taking place as a part of the first-ever Yiddish Theatre Festival in the Fingerlakes, which will bring the humor and history of Yiddish theatre to Ithaca in a series of events including performances at both the Schwartz, and Ithaca College’s Hoerner Theatre.

Eskimeaux, the project of Gabrielle Smith, will be gracing the Loft at the Chanticleer today. Appropriately recommended by Rolling Stone for fans of “sitting back and dreaming,” Smith packs her breezy tracks with nuggets of wisdom, glimmers of hope and playfulness in spades. A bastion of The Epoch, a Brooklyn-based collective of bright creatives, Eskimeaux shares members of bands such as Bellows and Told Slant.

Eskimeaux will be joined by local post-rock act Imperials and folk-punks No Good Doll/Pobaribanon. The all-ages, Ithaca Underground-produced show will be $10 at the door.

—Jael Goldfine

—Mike Sosnick

Speedy Ortiz

COURTESY OF DAN SMALLS PRESENTS

7 p.m. Sept. 7 at The Haunt

Speedy Ortiz has been sparking buzz since since their 2012 E.P., Sports, but please don’t call them a buzz band. The Massachusetts group has been packing their records chock full of dense, wobbly indie rock in the vein of their ’90s forebears. Loopy guitar riffs and blunt storytelling were the highlights of their last two full lengths, with the most recent, April’s Foil Deer, already a top album of 2015.

Look forward to seeing Speedy Ortiz live at The Haunt to see a band with serious influence over the current landscape of American rock music.

—Mike Sosnick

Battle of Bands: Spotify and Apple Music Edition E

ven if you don’t follow the latest in tech, you’ve probably heard of Apple Music. The service dominated the news this summer, as Apple announced its three-month free trial period, and seemingly seconds later, pop icon Taylor Swift threatened to pull her music from Apple unless it paid its artists. Apple quickly responded with an altered policy and subsequently increased artist support. The whole thing seemed a bit too strategic to be genuine, as it immediately boosted awareness for the upcoming service.

Apple has become synonymous with its groundbreaking innovations, like the iPod, iPhone and iMac, but upon researching its music service specs, I was surprised to discover how unimaginative and strikingly similar it was to Spotify. Both services provide users with a highly diverse music database, with which individuals can make or listen to playlists, follow artists to gain exclusive content and discover new tracks from musicians that they may or may not have heard of.

Unlike Apple Music, Spotify has tailored its services to the younger generation, a demographic that is more open to technology and thus more likely to use it to seek out new music. For example, Spotify automatically links to Facebook, making sharing and messaging music exponentially easier. It plays with social media, showing you who in your friend circle has recently listened to an artist that you’re discovering for the first time, and also allows you to watch your friends’ now-listening stream in real time.

Not only can you watch your friends listen to Mozart followed by The Backstreet Boys followed by Metallica, but you can also start

a private session and do the exact same thing under a blanket of secrecy.

Apple Music’s one leg up over Spotify is its dead-simple interface. If you’ve got an iPhone, iPad, MacBook or even iWatch, using Apple Music is essentially a no-brainer. With a simple update, the entire software is locked and loaded on your respective device, making it a great option for those Apple product aficionados. That said, the program is currently unavailable for Android users, and while Apple prod-

Anita Alur Millennial Musings ucts are all the rage, they aren’t the only ones out there. Once again, Spotify proves to be the more universal service, allowing anyone, regardless of their personal device preferences, to use their program freely.

Perhaps my favorite aspects of both of these are their Browse (Spotify) and Discover (Apple) sections. These services are intelligent — in a non-threatening “Big Brother” way — and they can use your past listening history to determine what kinds of music and artists you might appreciate later. The more you listen, the more they understand your tastes. And on Spotify, there’s a specific playlist devoted to showing you new music every week. Artists from all levels of fame and fortune can put their music up with the prospect of new

listeners. Users can easily access their entire discographies and read their biographies if they so choose, making onehit wonders a bit less likely in the modern music era.

I found it very interesting (and compelling) that both of these services also aim to connect their listeners with artists and musicians.

While there’s no actual way to start a conversation between a musician and his or her 10 million fans, both Spotify and Apple have attempted to bridge the gap. On Spotify, artists can release exclusive Spotify Sessions or Album Commentaries, both of which offer listeners the chance to hear and learn more about the music. Apple has taken a slightly different route, creating a service called Connect with which people can directly comment on artists’ feeds with the prospect of a response. In reality, I’m not sure how often someone like Beyoncé is going to sift through comments and write one herself, but the idea is captivating for sure. As music becomes more accessible, so do the artists that create it.

As college students, we all love a good discount. With books, tuition, clothes, food — the list goes on — we all could benefit from saving some money. Spotify accounts for this, giving us a chance to listen to as much music as we like for free, and if we want more, they cut the premi-

COURTESY OF BIG MACHINE

um price in half. Perhaps Apple will pick up on this trend when the service actually kicks off, but as of right now, there’s no markdown for us stingy college students.

Sure, $9.99 a month isn’t going to make a huge dent in your bank account, but if you can essentially get the same service for $4.99, why not take it?

Making music universally obtainable is a noble task, and certainly a difficult one. I admire both Spotify and Apple for making an effort, but ultimately, I think Spotify has a better chance of survival. I’m not sure how they do it financially, but they manage to give out music for free while incentivizing customers to spend money for additional services. With Apple Music still in its free trial period, it’s a matter of months before these two fight to the death over the digital music scene, but my bets are definitely on Spotify.

Anita Alur is a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences. She can be reached at aalur@cornellsun.com. Millennial Musings runs alternate Thursdays this semester.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

12 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 27, 2015

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Nichols Lewis

ACROSS 1 Word seen before “or less” on supermarket signs 6 Elisabeth of “Hollow Man” 10 “American __” 14 Musical ensemble 15 Cautious 16 Gospel trio 17 Caddy for pigeons?

19 Combustible heap 20 NBA division that includes the Bklyn. Nets 21 Very long time 22 On the agenda 24 Autograph signer’s aid 26 Musical ensemble 27 Range stat.

28 Statistical aid for sheep?

31 1973 Rolling Stones ballad 34 “All in the Family” spin-off 35 Doomsday beginning?

36 “Coming Home” actor 37 Outmoded 38 Co-star of Boris in “Son of Frankenstein” 39 Latin I word 40 See 34-Down 41 Connected, in a way 42 Cantatas for cows?

44 Wine container 45 Code name 46 Longtime familyowned firearms company 50 Much 52 Undecided 53 Take flight 54 Big Bird buddy 55 Phone service for crows?

58 Sight from a slope 59 Stem-to-branch angle 60 Like some astrological charts 61 Without 62 Register compartment 63 Migratory birds

DOWN 1 16th-century conquest victims 2 Nail partner?

3 __ Gay 4 NSAID, e.g.

5 Skyline highlight 6 Hogs 7 Dutch artist Frans 8 High-tech address 9 Sleeper’s aid 10 Make worse 11 Market speculator 12 Storybook meanie 13 Served up a whopper 18 Sports ball brand 23 Theater ticket word 25 Word with dance or fall 26 Saving the whales, e.g.

28 Rudimentary 29 Mononymous kicker 30 Take charge of 31 Start of a big race?

32 Nautilus skipper 33 Wedding attendant 34 With 40-Across, 1911 chemistry Nobelist

37 Nonthreatening type 38 Angler’s hope 40 Temple feature in old films 41 Bark, perhaps 43 General __ 44 2012-’13 “Bates Motel” Emmy nominee Farmiga 46 New Year’s highlights

Sun Sudoku

COMICS AND PUZZLES

Puzzle #1995

Just a Girl

47 Well-worn 48 Bluefin and yellowfin 49 It’s a matter of degrees 50 Old-timers 51 Goya’s “Duchess of __” 52 One of a hotel room pair 56 Terminate 57 Menlo Park monogram

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THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 27, 2015 13

SPORTS

Red Returns Strong Core Upperclassmen 32 P ETS

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SWIMMING

Continued from page 16

that these guys are committed to the team and will help guide their teammates in the right direction.”

As is always the case at the beginning of the season, the incoming freshmen will be expected to add something new to help improve the team. The class includes multiple regional and state champions, with many having success at junior national championship. Furthermore, five freshman previously earned consideration or selection to either the USA Swimming All-American team or USA Swimming Scholastic AllAmerican team.

“We have a large freshman class with 10 swimmers joining the team. I believe their strength lies in their depth,” Newman said.

“Because they are a large class, we will be looking for guys to stand out and prove that they can contribute to the team by scoring points in dual meets and championships.

There is strong talent in the freshman class and I’m confident that as the season pro-

gresses leaders will emerge.”

Newman highlights the meet with Brown after Christmas as one to watch.

With tight races in previous years and as the meet where seniors are recognized, Teagle Pool will be expected to be buzzing.

“Second semester, our senior meet will be against Brown who we have been very close with the past four seasons,” Newman said.

“We have won against them the past two seasons, but we definitely won’t take them lightly. That meet is also our senior recognition meet and we usually fill Teagle. It gets extremely loud and exciting.”

With impressive talent across the team and a real determination to win, the Red expect to be competitive this upcoming season.

“I have every reason to believe that this season will be as good or better than last year,” Newman said. “We are looking forward to getting started and will be hard at work soon.”

LEWIS

Spurs have deepest roster in the NBA (and some guy named LaMarcus Aldridge), and the Cubs have Back to the Future II on their side.

Sorry other sports fans, I’m not experiencing heartbreak this year.

Shane Lewis can be contacted at slewis@cornell.edu. Where’s Shane? appears alternate Thursdays.

Anna Fasman can be reached at sports-editor@cornellsun.com.

Joel Cooper can be reached at jcooper@cornellsun.com.

“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”

Pick up a copy of

The Sun

precious moments of utter happiness, those precious moments where your team has finally risen to the top, you forget how many times sports have broken your heart in the past, and you fall in love again. That’s what makes sports so great.

So I will end this with a salute to all of my fellow fans out there. May your season end in happiness, and if not, I hope you handle defeat graciously. And unless you are a Packers, Spurs, or Cubs fan, you’ll need to learn to handle defeat graciously. Because the Packers have the best quarterback in football, the

FIELD HOCKEY

Continued from page 16

While the freshmen have been finding their places on the Cornell squad, captains Standiford and Marisa Siergiej, along with the other upperclassmen, have taken the reins as leaders. While leading by example, the upperclassmen have set a high standard amongst the rest of the players.

“I think we’ve got some really really quality people on our team and I just said to the team the other day one of the things that think defines our team is that we have some of the best players in their given positions in the conference, but they are also incredibly humble players,” Hornibrook said. “They are willing to give whatever they have got to the team and when you see them, they are quietly confident. They don’t take anything for granted and their attitude is phenomenal.

That’s definitely a contagious thing amongst the rest of the player — it really sets a standard for the rest of the team.”

Standiford attributes the strength of the team this season to its past leaders as well, who set the pace and moved the team forward when she was an underclassmen.

“This team has changed immensely. It took some amazing leaders when I was an underclassman to really get our program back to where it was a few years ago,” Standiford said. “I believe our team is in a really great place now and we have several younger players stepping up which is very encouraging.”

I Want a Championship Continued from page 16

Set Tone for Red

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THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, August 27, 2015 15

SPORTS

WITH

T E N

Q U E S T I O N S

JULIA

SCHUBAUER S

O C CE R

MICHAELA BREW / SUN SPORTS PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR

On the mend | Sophomore Julia Schubauer continues to recover after tearing her ACL and MCL last fall.

Daily Sun staff writer Hannah Noyes sat down with sophomore Julia Schubauer to talk about her summer, the excitement of the new school year, and advice for incoming Big Red athletes.

1. What was your favorite thing you did this summer?

Well, my parents told me I needed to get a legit summer job now that I’m in college. So the most ‘legit’ thing I could think of while still logging in some quality daily tan time was something with boats, and so why not scrape barnacles off the bottoms of yachts? I worked with my best friend who scuba dived in a full body wetsuit, while I hung out in the sun cleaning the surface. Not a bad gig.

2. How have you worked on training for the upcoming season?

Scrubbing boats did take up a lot of my time, and it was really strenuous labor, but I did spend most of my free hours working to get back in shape for this fall. Last year, I got reconstructive knee surgery after tearing my ACL, MCL, and meniscus. So this summer, I spent a lot of time doing physical therapy to strengthen that leg and conditioning to get up to speed for the season.

3. What class are you most excited to take this semester, and why?

I’m pretty psyched for Nutritional Sciences 1150: Nutrition, Health and Society because I’m switching to be a Nutritional Science major. At least

that’s the plan, depending on whether or not I survive a three hour Chem lab every Friday at 8 a.m. Going to be a long semester.

4. What Cornell event are you looking forward to most this fall?

Always having a competitive attitude. Whether it’s a lift, training session, or game, we maintain our competitive spirit and push each other so the focus is always there. I think that has been and will continue to be the driving force behind our success.

Applefest because I love apples and I love festivals.

6. What is your best memory from last season?

5. What would you say is the Cornell soccer team's greatest strength?

Beating Dartmouth. It was our last game, and the 1-0 victory was a great way to end the season.

7. Do you have any hobbies, or other activities in which you participate at Cornell?

Sleeping through alarms and eating muffin samples at Mandibles.

8. What is the number one piece of advice you would give incoming freshmen athletes?

Master the TCAT system. For some reason, it really threw me off last year. One Friday, we had a 6 a.m. strength and conditioning session. So after the workout and Trill breakfast, I hopped on the bus to go to North and get back in bed until 1:10 to rally for my 1:25. So I get on the bus, relying on the unreliable Ride14853 app, and completely fall asleep. I only jolt awake when a huge crowd of people board at the Ithaca Mall. I ended up having to wait 20 minutes at the mall for a cab to come get me and bring me home. Brutal morning. So freshmen, get that down to avoid those trips off campus.

9. What was the greatest

adversity you overcame last season, and how have you learned from it/ has it changed you?

Last fall, I completely blew out my knee, tearing my ACL, MCL and meniscus. I got surgery about a month later and have been on the mend ever since. It was definitely tough standing on the sidelines and having to watch and not play in practices and games during the rest of the fall and springs seasons. The recovery was also a big time commitment having to go to physical therapy every day in addition to attending all training sessions. The whole experience definitely gave me a new appreciation for being healthy and being able to play. It also taught me to stay focused and not simply go through the motions. Cutting corners during the recovery would’ve set me back even further, as it does in all aspects of athletics.

10. What is something interesting about you that most people wouldn't know?

My nickname used to be Shredder. I have two older sisters who were both really creative and artistic and loved drawing pictures. So when I was little I would somehow find all their pictures they drew and I guess I must have been teething or something because I would just tear up every picture they ever made, so for years my family called me Shredder. Like my sister Katie's first grade teacher thought we were one of those hippie families with kids’ names like “Apple” because Katie told her my actual name was Shredder.

Hannah Noyes can be reached at hnoyes@cornellsun.com.

Sports

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

THURSDAY AUGUST 27, 2015

16

MEN’S SWIMMING

Newman’09 Takes Reins of Red All I Want Are

Rings,Rings,Rings D

By JOEL COOPER Sun Staff Writer

Cornell’s men’s swimming and diving team is looking forward to their season this year as they look to improve on a strong 2014-15 campaign. The Red, who went 5-4 last season, is under new instruction this year after coach Joe Lucia stepped back after 28 years in charge. Now under the guidance of former associate head coach Wes Newman ’09, Cornell will try to keep the momentum going as they aim high across the season.

“Last season, the team turned a corner and stepped up their focus,” Newman said. “That along with a strong determination helped improve our standing in the league. The goal this season will be to maintain that positive momentum and build on it. Overall, I believe that we have a talented team returning and have the ability to continue improving.”

A potential key to the Red’s success this year is the strength of their returners. Newman points to junior backstroke and

“Last season, the team turned a corner and stepped up their focus. That along with a strong determination helped improve our standing in the league.”

Wes Newman ’09 individual medley swimmer Dylan Sali and sophomore breaststroker Alex Evdokimov, both who performed exceptionally well last season. Sali and Evdokimov will be important leaders in the team over the course of the year, Newman said.

“Our returners have a few characteristics that are exciting,” Coach Newman said. “First, we have some great raw talent that is critical for a successful team. Sali scored the most

BRIAN STERN / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

A fresh start | The Red, now under the leadership of new head coach Wes Newman ’09, will return a lot of key swimmers.

points at Ivies last spring, and set three individual school records. Evdokimov became our first league champion in five years last spring as a freshman winning both the 100 and 200 breaststroke. Those are two examples of guys who have stepped it up recently and will help lead the team to the next level.”

Another integral part of the Red’s success this summer is the leadership of its seniors, and in particular, the team’s three captains. This year, Cornell will be led by breaststroke and individual medley swimmer Victor Luo, freestyler Taylor Adams and butterfly and individual medley swimmer Carl St. John.

“In addition to having talent on the team, I am seeing a group that is very committed to the sport,” Newman said.

“We have a great group of seniors led by our three senior captains, Victor Luo, Taylor Adams and Carl St. John. I know See SWIMMING page 13

FIELD HOCKEY

Red on the Hunt for Ivy Championship Hornibrook hopes team can capture first after falling short in 2014

By ANNA FASMAN Sun Sports Editor

The 2014 season for the Cornell field hockey team was a season of broken records, tremendous wins and impressive young talent. The Red was able to tie the program record in number of wins and break the record for goals scored, earning themselves a 5-2 conference record and overall record of 11-5 in the process. However, for head coach Donna Hornibrook, there is still the feeling that both her and her squad could have done a little bit more.

“Looking back on it, it certainly wasn’t a disappointing season, but I think

that we left with the feeling that we could have been just a bit better — and a bit better would have probably given us a real shot,” Hornibrook said. “We could have had a shot at the title or at least shared the title looking back.”

An end-of-season loss against Princeton last year left the squad in second place in the Ivy League standings after being tied for first coming into the season finale. This year, like every year, the squad hopes to win the Ivy Championship, but such a win would be even more sweet after last season’s disappointing end.

“I’m not going to lie, I’d love to beat Princeton before I graduate,” senior

CHRIS PHARE / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

captain and midfielder Taylor Standiford said. “Our team definitely has the destination of being Ivy League champions, but our goal is to put all we have into the journey that takes us there.”

In order to put her team in the best possible position going forward, Hornibrook has been working the squad hard throughout the preseason and focusing on the offensive side of the game in particular. She said she wants the attack to be “free-flowing” and “explosive.”

“We have a number of girls who can be dangerous on the attack third, so we’ve just been trying to work on the balance and the speed of our attack and having a bit more flow,” Hornibrook said.

While the squad has a strong group of returners taking the field this season, five freshmen will join the Red as well.

Isabel Siergiej, Sophie Graeff, Kjersti Anderson, Kate Fitzpatrick and Mackenzie Gagliardi will all don Cornell uniforms for the first time on Sept. 4.

Some freshmen are still settling in on the field but Isabel Siergiej, whose older sister, senior captain and back Marisa Siergiej, also plays for the Red, wasdescribed by Hornibrook as a “player to watch” and a “phenomenal athlete.”

Fitzpatrick was also noted as someone who has really stepped up her game during the first couple of weeks of practice.

Looking forward | Cornell looks to bounce back in 2015 after losing grasp of first place on the last day of the season in 2014.

o you know what keeps me up at night? No, it’s not the idea of spending another winter in the frozen hell we call Ithaca, and no, it’s not the realization that I will be poor the rest of my life because for some reason I decided to be an English major. No, what keeps me up at night is the thought of Steve Bartman snatching the ball out of Moises Alou’s glove in the 2003 NLCS and crushing the dreams of Cubs fans everywhere. What keeps me up at night is Ray Allen hitting that corner 3-pointer in the 2013 Finals

See FIELD HOCKEY page 13

Shane Lewis Where’s Shane? that kept my Spurs from claiming what was rightfully theirs. What keeps me up at night is Brett Favre throwing an interception in a playoff game … take your pick, he threw a gazillion. I could care less if my girlfriend decides to break up with me, but nothing is more emotionally devastating than when your favorite sports team falls short of a championship.

Sports are freakin’ heartbreaking, man.

So with college and professional football and basketball quickly approaching and with the MLB playoffs just around the corner, I think it’s time for sports fans everywhere to prepare for another year of heartbreak. I’m not very good at crunching the numbers, but something like 95 percent (not a real statistic) of sports fans will watch in sadness as their team falls just short of a Super Bowl, World Series, Stanley Cup, championship and whatever the heck they play for in soccer.

Another baseball team will collapse down the home stretch of the season and miss out on the playoffs. Another college basketball team will make a Cinderella run through March Madness only to see their championship dreams crushed by the Kentuckys and the Dukes of the world. And another Browns’ season will start with a glimmer of hope, only for the team to realize midseason that they still are in fact, the Browns. And along the way, the heartstrings of fans everywhere will be pulled this way and that, only to eventually be snapped.

Yep, there can only be one champion in a sport every year. Only the fans of one team get to experience the joy of being at the pinnacle of fandom itself. The rest of fans are relegated to the bottomless pit known as “next year.” Over my 19 years of existence my favorite teams have only won a total of seven championships, so I’ve been saying “next year” a lot.

So if the average fan is in a constant state of heartbreak, why do we continue to love sports the way that we do? Well, we live for the reveal of new heroes, the way that Aaron Rodgers took over the position from Brett Favre and led his team to the promised land. We live for redemption stories like the 2014 San Antonio Spurs, a team so sought on revenge that not only did they completely dismantle the Miami Heat, they sent LeBron James crying back to Cleveland. And we live for the mystery of teams like the Chicago Cubs, who according to Back to the Future II, will be winning the World Series this year. Fingers crossed.

Sports are heartbreaking. But upon experiencing those precious moments of glory, those See LEWIS page 13