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The Corne¬ Daily Sun Vol. 128, No. 116

FRIDAY, MARCH 30, 2012



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Taio Cruz to Headline Slope Day 2012 Pop rock band Neon Trees will also perform

By DAVEEN KOH and ZACHARY ZAHOS Sun Arts and Entertainment Editors

British pop and R&B singer Taio Cruz will headline 2012’s Slope Day, the Slope Day Programming Board announced Thursday. American pop rock outfit Neon Trees will open the day’s festivities. The Sun’s Arts and Entertainment editors weigh in on the concert choice. Year-long suspense — tinged with hope for such acts as Avicii and with dizzying dread for Nickelback rumors — ended with two radio-friendly picks that have been

“A lot of people wanted a pop artist who is on the radio all the time — someone you could sing along to.” Sam Breslin ’12 heard, well, everywhere. Taio Cruz and Neon Trees are probably as crowd-pleasing as you can (viably) get. “We know you’ve been wanting big name headliners; we also did understand a lot of students were getting tired of rap and hip-hop artists,” said Sam Breslin ’12, selections director of SDPB. “A lot of people wanted a pop artist who is on the radio all the time — someone you could sing along to.” While it is arguable how different Cruz truly is in his musical approach from the Slope Day headliners of recent years, he does command a similar, broad base of fans that guarantees a bustling day on Libe Slope. Cruz narrowly missed the chance to sing on Rihanna’s 2007

hit “Umbrella,” but that snub did not stop him from finding an immediate fanbase upon the release of his self-produced 2008 debut, Departure. He has become nearly omnipresent since his 2010 album Rokstarr. It’s hard to think of a more appropriate anthem for the last day of classes than Cruz’s number one single, “Dynamite,” which, of course, exhorts everyone to “throw (their) hands up in the air sometimes” and “celebrate and live life.” Cruz has an expansive catalogue of equally commanding and suitable songs. Leading among those is “Break Your Heart”; repeat “break break your” in your head over and over again if you have trouble remembering it. These songs, as well as other hits such as “Telling the World” (from last year’s animated film Rio), “Higher” and “Hangover,” will slide perfectly into the Slope Day vibe — especially that latter hit. Cruz’s style may not be groundbreaking and his lyrics remain remarkably simplistic, but, for the mass of shambling bodies soon to fill Libe Slope, the man is about perfect as it gets. Neon Trees is similar in that you have almost certainly heard the band before. “Animal,” the lead single off its debut album Habits,

Past Slope Day Artists 2011: Nelly 2010: Drake 2009: The Pussycat Dolls 2008: Gym Class Heroes 2007: T.I. COURTESEY OF TAIOCRUZMUSIC.CO.UK

I throw my hands up | After weeks of anticipation, SDPB announced that Taio Cruz and Neon Trees with perform at Slope Day 2012.

See SLOPE DAY page 10

Cornell Accepts Castaways to Close by May1

Lowest Percentage Of Applicants Yet By HARRISON OKIN Sun Staff Writer

The Class of 2016 faced the most competitive admissions cycle yet, the University announced as 4,943 students received their regular admission decisions on Thursday. Only 16.2 percent of applicants to Cornell were admitted this year. Cornell’s newly admitted students are part of a record high pool of 37,812 applications. As the acceptance rate decreased this year, the number of applications for the Class of 2016 rose four percent, to the highest number of applications in Cornell’s history. In addition to the students accepted for regu-

lar decision, 1,180 students were accepted early decision in December, bringing the total number of admitted students to 6,123. There will be fewer students in the Class of 2016 than in the Class of 2015, according to the University. 18 percent of applicants to the Class of 2015 were accepted. The percentage of accepted students that are female increased from 49.8 to 52 percent this year. Nearly 2,000 more students this year were denied admission than applicants for the Class of 2015. Further, 132 more students were waitlisted compared to last year’s applicants. See 2016 page 4


Sun Senior Writer

Castaways, the local bar and music venue known for its intimate concerts, charity benefit events and community-friendly environment, plans to close its doors by May 1 after 40 years on the West End waterfront. On Wednesday, Castaways’ owners Kimberly Hemphill, Phil Aubin and Debra Wilson announced on their Facebook page that ongoing attempts to renegotiate the building’s lease with their current landlord had failed. They conceded that, although the fight to maintain their space wasn’t over yet, as negotiations between the owners and landlorders are still ongoing, April would likely be their last month in business at their current location. Over the years, artists like The Hold Steady, Mac Miller, St. Vincent, Sufjan Stevens and Dar Williams have passed through Castaways on tour stops in Ithaca. Local acts, like The Gunpoets and John

Brown’s Body, have played shows regularly at the venue, which has become an institution for local music in the Ithaca community. Hoyt Benjamin opened

the bar in 1971 under the name “A Salty Dog,” a reference to an album by the band Procol Harum. It has since been called “Captain See CASTAWAYS page 5

News Debating Design

The City of Ithaca Planning Board debated aesthetic details of a proposed expansion to the Law School. | Page 3

News Facebook Matchmaker

An alumus recently developed an application that matches Facebook users based on compatibility. | Page 3

Opinion The Price of Happiness

Jonathan Panter ’12, looking back at his high school experiences, reflects on what it means to grow up privileged and yet unhappy. | Page 7

Arts The Last Laugh

The Sun sits down with Seth Meyers, head writer of Saturday Night Live, after his show Tuesday evening. | Page 10

Sports Gearing Up

The men’s lacrosse team will travel to Hanover, N.H., to take on Dartmouth this weekend. | Page 16


Sad songs | Norwegian Singer Sondre Lerche performs for a packed crowd at Castaways in March 2010.

Mostly Cloudy HIGH: 43 LOW: 29

2 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, March 30, 2012



Friday, March 30, 2012


Quotes of the Week

Today CRP Q&A Session: Andrew Rumbach Noon, 208W Sibley Hall

News, “University Allocates $1.56 Million to Gorge Safety Efforts,” Thursday

HTML Style Sheets 2 - 4 p.m., Uris Library Classroom, Uris Library

Speaking about gorge safety efforts in response to the death of his son, Nathaniel Rand ’12 “It’s great that money has been [allocated to gorge safety], but the funds need to be devoted to specific projects on the Cornell campus and in cooperation with the City of Ithaca” Jacob Rand

Softball vs. Harvard 2 p.m., Berman Field Grist and Mills: On the Cultural Inheritance of Cultural Learning 4 p.m., Kaufmann Auditorium, Goldwin Smith Hall Rhythm and Rhyme 8 - 11 p.m., New Wing, Johnson Museum


Science, “‘Wee Stinky’: The (Not So) Sweet Smell of Success,” Wednesday Speaking about Cornell's rare "corpse plant" that bloomed to a crowd of over after a decade of cultivation “It smells like rotting flesh, but there’s this sickeningly sweet overtone to it and it’s just nasty it’s just plain nasty.” Prof. Karl Niklas, plant biology

Opinion, “Remembering, at Cornell, the War Abroad,” Wednesday Speaking about the War in Afghanistan Today, any campus discussion or debate over America’s engagement in foreign conflicts is far less visible. Whatever opposition to the war in Afghanistan exists is marginal at best.

Baseball vs. Harvard Noon, Hoy Field Men’s Tennis vs. Columbia 1 p.m., Reis Tennis Center

Jon Weinberg ’13

Latino Leaders Workshop 2 - 3:30 p.m., Latino Living Center, Anna Comstock Hall Kids Science Day at the Big Red Barn 2 - 4 p.m., Main Room, Big Red Barn

News, “Hoping to Meet Demand, Jack’s Grill Opens Sports Bar,” Wednesday Speaking about the opening of his new bar on Wednesday “We’ll subscribe to all the good packages and all that stuff … I know we have some soccer fans; we’ll keep them happy. We’re looking at doing a big projector, too.” Kevin Sullivan

Women, Sustainable Development and Food Sovereignty And Security in a Changing World 9 a.m. - 6:15 p.m., Myron Taylor Hall

www.CornelLsun.cOm Professor Silvio Ferrari University of Milan The Law of God and the Rights of Man. Law, Religions and the Public Space Lecture 1: “Religion in the Western Legal Tradition: An Historical Perspective” Monday, April 2, 2012, 4:30 p.m., Lewis Auditorium, G76 Goldwin Smith Hall Lecture 2: “Law and Religions: Patterns” Tuesday, April 3, 2012, 4:30 p.m., Lewis Auditorium, G76 Goldwin Smith Hall Lecture 3: “Law and Religions: Problems” Thursday, April 5, 2012 4:30 p.m. Lewis Auditorium, G76 Goldwin Smith Hall The Public is Invited

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A SEPARATION (PG13) 9:15 Sat. Sun. Mats. 4:15 THE ARTIST (PG13) 7:05 Sat. Sun. Mats. 2:05

Thursday, March 29th through Sunday, April 1st

Finger Lakes Environmental Film Festival (FLEFF)

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WALK TO CAMPUS Walk to campus from this professionally managed 1 bdrm. apt. Features w/w carpeting, free off-street parking, laundry facilities, adjacent bus stop.

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THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, March 30, 2012 3


Board Members:Law School Annex Should Respect Existing Building

By CAROLINE FLAX Sun Staff Writer

The City of Ithaca’s Planning and Development Board discussed the aesthetic details of the University’s proposed expansion of the Cornell Law School at a meeting Tuesday, with some board members raising concern that certain aspects of the design could better respect Myron Taylor Hall’s existing exterior. The first phase of changes lined up for Myron Taylor Hall include adding a new, accessible entrance to the building on College Avenue and adding two underground classrooms and an auditorium under the lawn between Myron Taylor Hall and College Avenue. In phase two of the expansion, the University will reconfigure the interior space of the lower levels of the hall at the south end of the Myron Taylor courtyard. Scott Aquilina, senior associate at Ann Beha Architects — one of the groups working on the project — said his firm tried to incorporate modern aspects into the building’s Gothic architecture in the proposed designs. “Our practice is engaged in that conversation [between contemporary and traditional],” Aquilina said. However, John Schroeder ’74, a member of planning board and The Sun’s production manager, said that certain details of the proposed exterior design — including its modern front door — “could be more sympathetic with” the gothic architecture of Myron Taylor Hall. “[The design] just feels weak to me ... It just doesn’t match the power of the building,” Schroeder said. “There is not a problem with a modern idea, but do it in a powerful way.” Aquilina disagreed, saying he believes the proposal’s modern elements complement the existing design of the building. “This is a modern law school, and it is a law school that is trying to attract new students,” Aquilina said. “The front door wants

to have a certain level of transparency so people feel welcomed into the building.” Tessa Rudan ’89, another member of the planning board, said that the proposed design for the front entrance is not consistent with her image of the building. “[Myron Taylor Hall] is absolutely a gem, and to say that it somehow is not accessible to people or that it’s not welcoming to people from the outside … I can’t agree with that,” Rudan said. Ithaca resident Mary Tomlan ’71 echoed the planning board members’ sentiments that the renovations should respect the original architecture of the building. “I hope that this board will respect the integrity of this hall,” Tomlan said. In its designs for the expansion, the University proposes lowering portions of the courtyard between Anabel Taylor Hall and Myron Taylor Hall by 30 inches. This, Aquilina said, would allow the University to avoid building a ramp from the new classrooms to the courtyard for disabled students. “The school was trying to find places to expand without expanding footprint,” Aquilina said. “The courtyard is beautiful, but the courtyard is not used.” Due to the changes to the courtyard, Aquilina said the University will also modify the stairway connecting College Avenue to the courtyard. “We’re trying to integrate the bottom of the stair into the courtyard,” Aquilina said. “It’s lighter; it’s more streamlined.” The new designs also include the construction of new windows that look onto the courtyard. However, some board members said these new windows compromise ideas inherent in the original design. “[The University] somehow needs to keep the original intent there,” Rudan said. Although there was disagreement with specific details of the design, the board largely approves of the general plans for the law school’s expansion, Schroeder said. “I think everyone on the board, to my knowledge, including myself, thinks that the


Myron Taylor makeover | The University plans to build under the lawn between between Myron Taylor Hall and College Avenue, thereby minimizing the environmental impact of the expansion.


Underground expansion | A 170-seat auditorium and two classrooms will be built underground as part of the University’s proposed expansion of the Cornell Law School.

basic idea of the project is very good and very positive,” Schroeder said. After board members expressed their concerns, the architects agreed on compromises to their original design. For instance, the University will reincorporate some existing architectural components — such as stone finials into the rebuilt stairs and sets of small arches into the rebuilt courtyard wall — to better maintain the law school’s architectural cohesion, according to Schroeder. “The architectural elements to be rein-

corporated are a sort of aesthetic glue helping to hold the whole law school complex together,” Schroeder said. Despite the board’s criticism, Aquilina said he appreciated receiving feedback from community members. “There is more than one way to look at a project,” Aquilina said. “It was a good exchange.” Caroline Flax can be reached at

Alumnus Creates App to Match Compatible Pairs By UTSAV RAI Sun Staff Writer

Taio Cruz will perform at Slope Day 2012. Really? “All I can say is that this year’s Slope Day is going to break-break-break-break-break my heart.” — Lyrical Lamenter ’14 “Who cares? If this Slope Day is anything like last year’s, I won’t make it to the Slope to see him perform anyway.” — Blackout Biddy ’14 “Pitbull was the other rumor, right? Yeah, this is much better.” — Sincere or Sarcastic? ’15 “There better be a special performance from the Maccabeats.” — Expecting a Spoof ’13 “My boyfriend and I used to make out to ‘Break Your Heart.’ Slope Day is going to be so romantic.” — Sheltered Freshman Girl ’15 “I’m sure it will be a Dynamite performance.” — Punny Guy ’14 “I really had my heart set on Avicii. Anything less is unacceptable.” — Every Sorority Girl ’13 — Compiled by Dan Temel

As more and more college students — spending hours bouncing Facebook chats and messages off each other — interact with others online, Rob Fishman ’08 has recently developed a Facebook application, Yoke, that pairs users with potential dates based on the compatibility of their Facebook profiles. “If Facebook is about keeping you connected to the people you already know, Yoke exists to introduce you to new people,” Fishman said. Fishman’s interest in Facebook can be traced back to his time at Cornell, where, as a columnist for The Sun, he covered topics such as Facebook’s expansion into high schools and interviewed people such as Chris Hughes, the co-founder of Facebook. Fishman — who previously worked as The Huffington Post’s social media editor — began working with Facebook during the company’s hunt for a media partner to collaborate with. This journey led him to start Kingfish Labs, Inc., a company that builds Facebook applications, including Yoke, last summer. Yoke targets people of all ages who want to find new companions who share the same interests as they do, Fishman said. “One thing we’re finding out is that people at all stages of life are looking to meet someone new,” he said. “On college campuses, Yoke will be useful for

breaking out of the social circles you've application, Brandon Huang ’15 said it traveled in since freshman year. For was “a good idea.” “The app uses information that has recent grads, the app can help cast a already been entered on Facebook wider net.” In addition to matching users instead of creating a new profile,” through characteristics they list on Huang said. Michael Young ’13 agreed, saying, “I Facebook, Yoke determines the compatibility between two people by using third-party services “It’s just an easy way to meet new like Amazon and Netflix to people using Facebook.” compare their tastes and interests. Rob Fishman ’08 What differentiates Yoke from other applications, Fishman said, is that it is built for the think it can be a pretty useful and popular app.” mainstream. Young also said the application is “There are no laborious questionnaires or awkward usernames, and easy to use. Additionally, he said that there’s no stigma attached to using the because the application allows you to app,” he said. “It’s just an easy way to anonymously interact with potential matches, it helps reduce the awkwardmeet new people using Facebook.” Looking forward to seeing Yoke ness of online matchmaking. While Young and Huang said that, grow in the future — and increasing its number of users — Fishman plans to overall, they liked using Yoke, they also expand the application, giving “users raised some concerns with the applicathe ability to add interests to their Yoke tion. “If I was looking to use this website profile without liking things on Facebook … and [allowing] them to to find a possible spouse, I’d have to choose someone younger, and I might search for certain characteristics.” Fishman also said that he sees many seem pedophilic,” Huang said. Students also suggested some possible opportunities for Yoke to genimprovements that would make the app erate revenue in the future. “I think there are plenty of cool more useful and applicable. “Perhaps they could add a function opportunities for revenue growth — suggesting dates based on the things to display your own preferences and you ‘like’ [on Facebook], offering deals allow for more matches,” Young said. and discounts and sending virtual Utsav Rai can be reached gifts,” Fishman said. After being asked to try out the at

4 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, March 30, 2012


Accepted Students ‘Grateful,’ ‘Proud’ ADMISSIONS

so I didn’t have to go through the tense situation of waiting,” he said. “When I saw the decision, the first The admitted students represent all thing I did was print it out to make 50 states, as well as 68 nations. Most of sure this was actually real.” the students accepted from the U.S. Jake Bradt, a student from hail from New York, California and Washington D.C., said he came from New Jersey. a family of Cornellians, so he The median SAT scores “When I saw the decision, the first thing I felt especially proud to con—a Critical Reading score tinue the tradition. of 710 and a Math score of did was print it out to make sure this was “It’s a perfect fit for me, 740 — did not change dra- actually real.” and it’s an amazing school,” matically from last year. he said. “I’m really lucky to Newly accepted stu- Andrew Ng have this opportunity.” dents demonstrated pride Salinas said it was a privand exuberance to be a part ilege to be part of such a of the University’s most selective class atmosphere and sense of community highly competitive class of students. yet. “I’m grateful for having made my from the students and faculty,” he “I’m so overwhelmed and hon- said. “I knew it would be a challenge teachers proud, for having made my ored,” said Xavier Salinas, a high at first, but today, it feels pretty parents proud, and most importantly, school student from New Hyde Park, good.” for having made myself proud,” she N.Y. “Cornell has been my top choice He said he was in disbelief when said. since junior year. I never saw accep- he got the acceptance. tance as a possible reality because I “I couldn’t get home until 5:30, Harrison Okin can be reached at didn’t want to let myself down. That after decisions were already released, Continued from page 1

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Castaways Hopes to Find New Home CASTAWAYS

bemoaned the loss of a breeding ground for local talent, but was optimistic that the vibrancy of Joe’s Reef,” “Maxes” and “Key the music community would West” before becoming generate new spaces to play. Castaways in the early 2000s. “We saw many great bands Aubin, Wilson and Hemphill grow under our roof and we took have run Castaways since 2005. pride in nurturing the bands that In a statement on Facebook played our room, giving them released Wednesday, they capthe tools they needed to grow,” tured the nostalgia that the he said in an email. departure of a beloved communiDan Smalls ’92, the local conty fixture invites. cert promoter who is responsible “We look back for many of with pride at what we “It’s surreal seeing it go. We all Castaways’ national have done to clean up acts, also lamented this place, at the picture Castaways as our home.” the closing of a “local money we raised over neighborhood hang” the years for the Dan Lisbe and a “tremendous Finger Lakes Cancer asset to local music.” Resource Center ... Still, Smalls said and at all of the incredible, won“Life goes on, and we’ll find that he hopes that, should derful music we have shared other places to play, but since it’s Castaway’s not find a new home, together over the years as a com- [been] such a big part of the music traffic through Ithaca munity,” they wrote. Ithaca music scene for so long, its would not decrease. The announcement has sent absence is going to change things “It’s always sad when any waves of grief reverberating as far as live music in Ithaca,” he community fixture goes away,” through Ithaca’s music commu- said. he said. “They and that location nity. Within hours of the release, Lisbe said he is particularly have been an institution for live community members had close to Castaways. He per- music in Ithaca. My job is to put already inundated the page with formed solo there for several the right show in the right venue comments expressing shock, years before joining The and give the patron the best posfrustration and sadness. Many of Gunpoets, and likened the bar’s sible experience, and losing an the comments reflected on mem- closing to the loss of a family option to that end is never ories of concerts or friendships member. desired.” formed at Castaways, while othEchoing Smalls, Rich said, “It’s surreal seeing it go,” he ers shared the hope that said. “We all picture Castaways “Ithaca has such a strong musical Castaways could find a new as our home. We’ve been playing community [that] I think that home — an option that the own- there for so long and it’s our places to play will appear and ers are currently exploring. favorite place to play. It’s really a musicians will find rooms to play “We definitely hope to find big loss on a lot of levels.” in.” another space and reopen Eliot Rich, the booking and Castaways in another location, event manager at Castaways and Joey Anderson can be reached at but we’re still trying to find out if a member of The Gunpoets, Continued from page 1

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, March 30, 2012 5

we can stay,” Hemphill said. “We want to stay here and continue what is an awesome Ithaca tradition.” The news that Castaways will close raises questions about the future of the music scene in Ithaca. Hip-hop artist Dan Lisbe, whose band The Gunpoets played its first show at Castaways four years ago, said that the loss will create a temporary void in the music scene.

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Cruz Control

The campus is blowing up with the news that Taio Cruz, famed artist behind the song “Dynamite,” will headline Slope Day this year. The Sun thought it best to sit down with the spirits of Ezra Cornell and A.D. White to talk about the choice. THE SUN: Hey A.D., Ezra. How are you guys doing? We’re excited as always to talk to you about what’s going on at Cornell these days. In recent news, Taio Cruz is the Slope Day headliner. Thoughts? EZRA: Definitely beats what we had in 1865. I think we had an equally hard time finding a Slope Day artist. All the good violinists were out touring in Australia or something. A.D.: Ah, yes, I remember. We had to settle for Theodore Cruise that year, a terrible violinist. I remember students just got hammered and passed out on the Slope before they listened to that garbage. EZRA: Yeah, dancing respectfully to violin music can also be a little bit challenging. It was basically the worst Slope Day ever. SUN: It doesn’t sound like much has changed. They are still trying to curb student drinking. The Interfraternity Council even offered fraternities a chance to get free food on Slope Day if they stay “socially responsible.” EZRA: That sounds like a great motivator. A.D.: Yeah, the IFC really dialed it back to what worked in elementary school. “If you’re on your very best behaviour, you’ll get this delicious cookie.” The next step is to put fraternities in “time out” if they break the rules. EZRA: Someone needs to talk to those IFC kids about changing that policy. A.D.: It doesn’t seem like it’s really going to work, but maybe if you offer them some pizza, they’ll rethink the whole thing. EZRA: Although I do hope they take our founding principles to heart and make decisions based on their intellectual appetites. A.D.: If we founded Cornell only because of the food we got in return, it basically wouldn’t be here. Don’t get me wrong, I love eating snow, but let’s face it, there wasn’t much here in 1865. SUN: Come on, A.D. Ithaca has some great food. They just opened up a delicious froyo place on College Ave. A.D.: Fro-yo? Are you crazy? That’s basically eating milk-flavored snow. EZRA: I for one love the sweet but tangy taste of freshly-churned self-serve frozen yogurt, with plenty of Oreo topping. The new joint in Collegetown is sure to be a draw for prospective students and their families when we turn on the Weather Machine in mid-April. A.D.: I don’t really know, Ezra. This incoming class seems like a bunch of nerds. I doubt they’ll be venturing too far beyond the libraries. 710 average on math SAT scores? Do the math. EZRA: Yeah, if by nerds you mean the fruity, delicious candy that I like to sprinkle on my frozen yogurt, then yes, you are one hundred percent correct. They are a bunch of Nerds. SUN: Alright Ezra, that sounds a little weird. I think you should go back to the grave. Same with you, A.D. EZRA: Oh, alright, alright. Best of luck with getting through the last few weeks before Slope Day. SUN: Yeah, this semester just goes on and on and on … A.D.: Hey-oh, Ezra, let’s go. EZRA: Fro-yo?

ITHACA’S COLD SHOULDER It dropped 40 degrees in a day. I can’t think of any better way to take away happiness than to go from shorts to winter coats in a day. I had almost forgotten that winter was a thing here after such a nice and lovely spring break, but then the cruel reality came back all at once. Thanks for the nice little reminder, Ithaca. — A.N. GOING OLD-SCHOOL WITH COURSE ENROLLMENT Dear Cornell software purchasers: Why does Student Center give us the option of enrolling in classes from the fall of 1952? As much as I would like to know what I could have taken if I went here 60 years ago, I just don’t understand why software would even go that far back. I mean, that predates the Internet by, like, .... a long time. — J.F. INTRO TO ICE HOCKEY It’s outrageous that my P.E. ice hockey class does not count for an academic credit. I now

am forced to take a onecredit six-week seminar called Intro to Entrepreneurship to remain in good academic standing. There’s a H-edouble-hockey-sticks of a lot more to learn about the rules of ice hockey than “entrepreneurship.” — J.S. GIVE THAT MAN A HAND Why does Taio Cruz need so much space for both his hands? I have hands too, man, I’m gonna put them in the air sometimes, but you don’t see me making a big deal about it. — B.K. DISGRUNTLED LOCAVORE Scumbag Ithaca: warms up enough for the fruit trees to blossom ... PROMPTLY FREEZES THEM ALL TO DEATH. All I wanted were some #*$^#%@ local peaches ... is that too much to ask for?! — D.M.

DISGRUNTLED HUMANITIES STUDENT Alternatively, forget this forgetting thesis. Forget it! — D.M. SLOPE DAY ISN’T PITCHFORK I mindlessly convinced everyone I live with that this year’s Slope Day artist was going to be Childish Gambino, and then had to suffer their wrath when I walked into the kitchen and found that they were not only less than thrilled with the selection choice, but were ready to come at me with pitchforks for getting their hopes up. — L.C. LOOKS LIKE A SOLO TONIGHT Where’s a former managing editor when you need him? I want to relive the glory days and belt out Newsies in the newsroom. I’m carrying the banner all alone here, man! — D.N.K.




THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, March 30, 2012 7



For a Few Hundred Bucks

went to an affluent prep school in the suburbs, the kind of place where the parking lot was like a scene from a bad movie about rich kids. A friend of mine got an Audi S8 for his birthday; another got a BMW Z4; and another got a BMW 3-series convertible hardtop — until she got bored of it and requested a 550. You get the point. Yes, I went to a private school, so make fun of me if you will. The education was

experience. And yet, so many of them just kept screwing up. Take Chris, one of my friends senior year. He was pretty damn smart, the sort of guy who, even though he acted like a moron, could have an insightful political discussion. The problem was, he just couldn’t stop taking drugs — out of school, and even in school. Last time I saw him, he was working behind the counter of a CVS — even

Jonathan Panter The Storyteller great so I’ll make no apologies. I loved my fellow students too. We had some truly brilliant people — math geniuses, great writers, artists; in some ways it was like a mini-Cornell. Yet it was even more of a bubble, because most of us came from similar backgrounds. Our parents were doctors, lawyers and businessmen. The one thing that kids at my school all had in common, then, was that they were incredibly lucky. They were blessed with opportunities, financially and academically, that most people in this country, let alone the world, will never

though the kid probably had an IQ above 130. Then there was Matt, who came from a well-to-do family. He wasn’t the brightest, but I grew up with the kid and he was just a nice, somewhat mischievous, curious boy. Matt left my school for another, and got hooked on methamphetamine. Yeah, meth. Or how about Scott, who graduated a few years before me. He was one of the most talented students we ever had, excelling in everything from math to the humanities and beloved by his teachers.

Then he took the SATs for some other kid, using a fake ID, and was promptly expelled from school and lost his spot at Princeton, where he had gotten in earlydecision. He did it for a couple hundred bucks. But the greatest screw-up story has to be the story of Dave, who graduated back in the early 2000s. Dave’s father founded one of the largest toy companies in the United States, with revenues in the hundreds of millions of dollars, and he was a noted philanthropist as well. Dave, like a lot of other bored rich kids, liked cocaine. One night just after graduation, Dave is at home, drinking and blowing lines of coke with his friends. He gets a call from a friend — who happens to be the daughter of a teacher at my school — and she’s screaming hysterically. She and two others had been buying coke in a nearby town, when they were robbed at gunpoint and locked in a basement. Dave and his friends organize a rescue mission, by which I mean they grab a shotgun and get in Dave’s car. Sometime later they stop at a red light — at which point Dave turns to talk to his friend, who’s out cold in the passenger seat. So is the other guy in the back. Dave panics, gets out of the car, opens all its doors, and flees the scene on foot. When the cops arrived, they found a late-model Mercedes-Benz with the following contents: cash, cocaine, alcohol, two drugged-out teenagers and a shot-

gun. Another full disclosure — I told that story because I think it’s hilarious. But it also raises questions. I’m not sure how I feel about kids like Dave, Chris, Matt or Scott. On one hand, I find them pathetic — they were given everything, opportunities that others will never enjoy, and they threw it all away. Maybe they were bored, because life was too easy for them. I suppose that’s one, rather uncharitable, way of seeing it. But I don’t think that’s it, just boredom. Because if you scratch below the surface of all that bling, those fancy cars and designer clothes, there’s more than just some stuck-up kid. Sure, I went to a prep school, and sure, those kids benefited from incredible opportunities — but some of them had alcoholic parents, some witnessed domestic abuse, some were just ignored by their moms and dads. Scratch below the surface, and you start to realize that wealth is no insulator, that money really can’t buy protection from the less-benign aspects of human nature. You might cure every patient, or captivate a courtroom or predict every stock value — but it doesn’t mean you’re a good person, or can raise a kid. No BMW or Mercedes is a substitute for that. Jonathan Panter is a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences. He may be reached at The Storyteller appears alternate Fridays this semester.

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised:

Should the Supreme Court Allow Video Coverage?


he recent Supreme Court oral arguments on the Affordable Care Act reignited a long-running debate about television cameras in courtrooms. Commentators have called the ACA the case of a generation, but only 400 spectators — mostly politicians and Washington insiders — were there to see it. Does the Court’s camera ban preserve the integrity of our government’s nonpolitical third branch, or shield the conduct of public business from the public eye? Every state allows cameras in at least some trials, but filming federal trials is prohibited outside of a small a pilot program involving civil trials, and cameras are forbidden in federal criminal cases. Federal appellate courts take a similar tack: Only the Second and Ninth Circuit Courts of Appeals allow cameras at oral argument. The Supreme Court has never allowed cameras despite frequent pressure from major media outlets and prominent lawmakers from both parties. Prior to oral arguments in the landmark ACA case, news organizations, along with lawmakers including Senators Chairman Patrick Leahy (D-VT) and Charles Grassley (RIA), asked the Court to allow video coverage. Not only did the Court not grant the request, its response ignored the issue of video altogether and merely announced that audio would be available the same day, rather than the customary release at the end of the week. Written transcripts are already available the same day. Those who wanted the Court to broadcast the ACA proceedings made familiar arguments. Because courts decide matters of significant public interest, their processes should be widely accessible to the public. In addition to making it easier for the public to follow and understand the case, video coverage of oral arguments would make the justices more accountable. Unlike exchanges between politicians concerned with getting reelected, Supreme Court proceedings involve what Justice Kagan has described as government functioning on a very high level. The implication is that broadcasting oral arguments would improve public trust in the Court and in government. While the Court did not explain its unwillingness to permit cameras at the ACA oral arguments, opponents of televised proceedings have often cited concerns about process integrity. If oral arguments are televised, lawyers will be tempted to deviate from the substance of the case and use the Supreme Court as political theater. Similarly, in the era of the sound bite, televised reporting would feature the most provocative quotes, making the justices more self-conscious and risking incomplete or out of context coverage.

Therefore, given the risk of undermining the process and the fact that life-tenured judges already write written opinions, televising proceedings would jeopardize the judicial process without adding any meaningful accountability. Finally, because transcripts and audio recordings are already public, proceedings are sufficiently accessible to the public as it is. The issue is ultimately about the relationship between the Supreme Court and the public. On the one hand, our system of separated powers deliberately shields judicial actors from public pressure. Judges have to be able to make unpopular decisions, and televising Supreme Court oral arguments would arguably undermine the insulation implicit in a branch whose members deliberate in private and serve for life. In an era where people follow current events on television however, a robust democracy would seem to benefit from making the Court’s work even more accessible. The average citizen probably has a limited grasp of what happens at the Supreme Court. For example, a well-educated, highlyinformed friend of mine was surprised to learn that oral argument at the Supreme Court consists of contentious questioning, rather than a one-sided presentation by lawyers to a patient panel of justices. Judicial actors are supposed to be checked, in part, by citizens’ ability to elect the officials that pick judges and pass the laws that come before the Supreme Court. Televised oral argument, therefore, would facilitate that check. Given this balance of interests, the question comes down to whether the Court’s camera ban renders it insufficiently accessible to the electorate. I believe the answer is no. Citizens interested in what actually goes on at the Court can already read transcripts and listen to oral arguments on their iPods. Therefore, the argument that camera-free Supreme Court proceedings are undemocratically opaque turns on people’s expectation that information be visually interesting. Most citizens, including most lawyers, are much more likely to read summarized, subjective news coverage of Supreme Court cases than read an entire transcript. Similarly, rather than watching an entire televised argument, most citizens would follow Supreme Court cases via ratingsdriven video coverage featuring visually attractive exchanges

rather than comprehensive coverage of abstract, technical cases. While our democracy would certainly benefit from an electorate that knew more about the judicial process, it is hard to be compelled by an argument that We the People care enough to want to know what the Court is doing, but not quite enough to overcome our compulsive need for moving pictures. That being said, the Court could take steps to make its processes more accessible. For one thing, there is simply no good reason not to make audio immediately available in every case. Given the real concern that many people don’t really know what happens inside the Supreme Court, the

Andy Orr Barely Legal Court could also produce a video of an oral argument in a fictional case, featuring the actual justices and real Supreme Court advocates. The video could be shown in government classes in high schools across the country. And when a landmark case like the ACA challenge comes along, the Court could even authorize free, public broadcasts in federal courts across the country, eliminating the risk of sensational video coverage by ratings-driven media outlets and reducing the incentive for sound bite-friendly, politically-theatrical advocacy. The next generation of Supreme Court justices will have been raised on video journalism, and the Court may well change course in our lifetime. But unlike politicians with five hundred dollar haircuts and soaring oratory, judges have the difficult job of applying the law, which is fundamentally written, not visual. I think American citizens are more than capable of informing themselves without ever turning on a television. Andy Orr is a third-year law student at Cornell Law School and former Editor in Chief of the Cornell International Law Journal. He may be reached at Barely Legal appears alternate Fridays this semester.

8 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, March 30, 2012


ARTS BY ZACHARY ZAHOS Arts and Entertainment Editor

Legendary filmmaker John Waters will deliver the keynote speech at the Schwartz Center’s Resoundingly Queer Conference on Saturday. Waters is famous for such films as Cry Baby and Hairspray, both of which were adapted into Broadway hits, and infamous for the perverse cult classic Pink Flamingos, starring drag queen Divine. The Sun chatted via phone with Waters on Tuesday for his take on the shifting landscapes of film, politics and sex. THE SUN: I want to start with your impact on independent film. You were sort of the John Cassavetes of Crass. What motivated you to make films, and through such an unorthodox approach for the time? JOHN WATERS: It wasn’t called independent film when I started. I was lucky enough that, around that time, underground film had just started. I wanted to be a beatnik: I read The Village Voice, I read Variety. I was just encouraged by all types of movies, never just one — certainly by Warhol and all the underground movies — but at the same time the films that broke the censorship laws were the foreign movies, from Ingmar Bergman to Fellini. I also went to see the exploitation films at that time that no one besides Variety ever wrote about; they were unmentionable, and I embraced them, too. So, I embraced all these kinds of movies and tried to put them together.

Friday, March 30, 2012 | The Corne¬ Daily Sun | 9

ENTERTAINMENT bad until Monday. They know its bad by the next feature time now, the same day. SUN: Well, Jackass has thrived in this environment. You directed Johnny Knoxville in A Dirty Shame. Are the folks from Jackass contemporaries to your style? J.W.: I love Jackass. I think not only are they my “type,” — they have the spirit of Pink Flamingos more than anybody that has ever been since then. They also know how to make money from that spirit. Good for them. I think that Johnny Knoxville deserves every bit of success he has. It was an incredibly original idea; it was anarchy and it spoke to bluecollar families in middle America. So yeah, I think that if Divine had not eaten dog shit, Johnny Knoxville would have. SUN: Hairspray was arguably the biggest Broadway hit of the last decade. Was theater ever a field you expected to conquer? J.W.: The moment I heard the very first

J.W.: Yeah I do all those kind of things. I continue to try to reach all audiences in different ways. SUN: How has this exposure to a young audience been? J.W.: I go to colleges — I went to six last week — and my audience gets younger each year, not older, which is great, for that is something you can’t buy. SUN: You are speaking at the Resoundingly Queer Conference on Saturday. What message do you have for the LGBT community during this exciting time? J.W.: Well, certainly that gay is not enough anymore, but it is a good start. I am going to talk about the progress of being gay, like why is it fine at rich kid schools and at poor schools, it’s not? We don’t need everyone to be gay, like women who pretend to be lesbians to turn on straight men. I think those men should be forced to give blowjobs if the

A Chat With John Waters

SUN: Did you ever imagine that Pink Flamingos would transcend its obscene subject matter to become a symbol of lowbrow art, 40 years later? J.W.: No, I did not! It’s on television now, that shocks me. When I was making that movie, I was hoping to make a hit midnight movie. When I started out it was underground movies, then it was midnight movies, then it was independent movies, then it was Hollywood movies, then it was Hollywoodindependents, then I guess I went back to NC-17 exploitation [laughs]. I think I have made every genre of movie there is in a way — every business plan of a movie, every kind. SUN: Would you say political correctness is overrated? J.W.: I think all my films actually are politically correct. SUN: Really? J.W.: Yeah, because the right person wins morally. Women are strong … usually the rich people are punished — although there are some good rich people. I think the one-percent isn’t all bad for they buy art and back movies. [laughs] I know that sounds ridiculous, but I think that is part of why [my films] have lasted, because they actually are weirdly politically correct. They aren’t ever condescending, they never look down or make the viewer feel superior to the subject matter as reality TV does, for instance. I think they ask you to come into a world and not judge it, and observe and try to understand why people have all kinds of behavior. So, that is politically correct. SUN: I stand corrected. If you started your career today, how do you think you would do? J.W.: I think I would do the same thing. I think I would be making it on my cellphone. The main difference would be that it is all through streaming video and computers now, and when I got to start making movies, you only got to see them once. You did not get to rewind, you never got to see Divine eating shit in slow-motion. You had to go to a theater, sometimes every week, and you got high to go. That ritual is now very rare. I’d say The Human Centipede repeated that. But in those days, we let [Pink Flamingos] build through word of mouth. Today, word of mouth is one second, like Twitter. Bad exploitation films used to survive the weekend because no one heard it was


notes of the [Hairspray] music, I knew it would be giant hit — I didn’t say it aloud, I didn’t want to curse it, but everybody felt that way. It has continued to be wonderful throughout my life. Hairspray bought me my San Francisco apartment. Hairspray has now reached a new level because it is playing in every public school. You know, they can’t cast by race or color, and recently a production got a lot of heat because a cast had all white people playing the black roles because they couldn’t find any — which is ludicrous, by the way — and what is equally as bad was that they had a skinny girl in a fat suit. It was racist and fatist. But then, I did see a version of it where a skinny black girl played Tracy and no one ever complained. So, I am for all of it, just change all of the races and sexes and we will have the most politically correct Hairspray ever and it will still work. SUN: With the successful 2007 Hairspray movie adaptation, basically everyone knows your work. You are a behind-the-scenes guy, yet you were featured in The Lonely Island’s “The Creep.”

women have to do it. I am for equal opportunity of all minorities. I am completely against separatism. I think one day there won’t be gay bars, and maybe there shouldn’t be, because if it is no big deal then why doesn’t everyone hang around together? Most young people I know do hang around with straight people and gay people and every other kind of people. To me, that is the society that is way more important to me. SUN: On a diverse campus like Cornell, you see that. J.W.: It’s a class issue. Of course, I am progay movement, I have been forever. But I never made a big deal about coming out or anything. I am a filmmaker who is gay and I don’t really care if I go to see a movie where the filmmaker is gay or straight. I think progress is saying that there are bad gay movies. I say that in a humorous way, in that gay is not enough anymore. For many people, it is hard to imagine what the problems are. Everyone should be able to get married; what is the sanctity of straight marriage when Britney Spears can get married one night and

divorced the next? What is the sanctity of Larry King’s marriages? I am for heterosexual divorce to be illegal, I have always said that. That would make everyone shut up. It is hard enough to find anyone to fall in love with; I think I should be able to marry myself if I want to. I am amazed that people feel it is a kind of attack on their own marriage if other people are allowed to. That is unbelievably baffling to me. But, do I believe it is the most important issue? If it was between peace in Iraq and gay marriage, I’d take peace in Iraq. That is why I believe in this election that Obama may not be able to do that until he wins. People need to realize this is politics, about winning. SUN: [Obama] made a video for Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” project, [where celebrities post videos reassuring bullied LGBT youth that their lives will get better]. I can picture few others doing the same. I’m surprised you have not contributed a video yourself, yet. J.W.: Well I think that I have already said that, always, and I am also doing an anti-bullying campaign for this Divine organization. I think I do speak out on that. But then I think: Why do people ask me what gay people should do? I am mentally ill, I am crazy! Why ask me? SUN: You could film a video for this campaign in the vein of your famous “Don’t smoke” PSA back in the 80s. J.W.: [laughs] I already did [the Think Big campaign] like that, you can find it online. They asked me all about gay rights, and I am all for it. Parents give me their kids nowadays and ask me what to do with them, which is amazing to me. I think I do counsel well to young people, but nobody gets better. There is no better. There is learning to understand who you are and deal with your neuroses in the proper way — and everyone has neuroses. Freud said that psychotherapy is turning “your hysterical misery into common unhappiness.” What a brilliant line. SUN: Your work is so notoriously transgressive; do you think it contributed to the increasing visibility of the gay community over the years? J.W.: I guess. I never want to brag. They used to put me on the covers of gay magazines and didn’t even ask me if I was gay because they were afraid it was something worse. [laughs] If you enter the world of my films, I guess being gay is easy compared to the other problems I honor, like being electrocuted. But I am for anyone who is happy with him or herself. I like straight people too; I sometimes think straight people have it hard too — try to be in Provincetown for the summer and be straight. SUN: Did you ever think that, after closing your most infamous movie, Pink Flamingos, with Divine eating dog feces, you would end up being one of the most respected voices in your field? J.W.: Respected, with a little bit of irony — I’m now an elder. I do feel respected, I feel that the public has been incredibly understanding of my career and I am incredibly thankful for that. Even in the beginning, the people that came to see my work were minorities that didn’t even get along within their own minority. I am still a little like that — any rules for any society rub me the wrong way, and I kind of want to violate them. I always joke that I am “gaily incorrect.” Each issue is different on each different person. I am sometimes not swallowing party lines, but at the same time I think all politics needs to be made fun of, including gay politics and straight politics. If you can never laugh at yourself, you’ll never convince anyone you’re right. Zachary Zahos is a freshman in the College of Arts and Sciences. He can be reached at


10 | The Corne¬ Daily Sun | Friday, March 30, 2012

Words With Seth Meyers BY JULIA MOSER Sun Staff Writer

Seth Meyers is currently the head writer of Saturday Night Live and host of The Weekend Update. He delivered a hilarious performance Tuesday at Bailey Hall, where he joked about everything from unsexy futons to his Words With Friends addiction. The Sun sat down with Meyers after the show to talk about SNL, laughing at politics and the intensity of Martha Stewart. THE SUN: Have you always wanted to do this, or was there one moment when you realized you could get paid for being funny? SETH MEYERS: As a kid, what we did as a family was watch comedy. My parents introduced us to Monty Python and SNL probably way younger than they should have. But yeah, that was always the thing I wanted to do. I went to Northwestern and studied radio, TV and film, but I always thought I would be in the comedy realm and kind of figured out by senior year that I wanted to try and be a performer for at least a while. SUN: Your background is more in improv, so was it difficult to transition from something very group-based to doing something all on your own like stand-up? S.M.: Well, you know it was weird because I was doing a two person sketch improv group that got me on SNL, and that’s a pretty collaborative place as well, but then it was weird because if you want to do college stuff, it seems like stand-up is the way. I found that doing improv stuff on college campuses was a really hard sell, and I’d always loved stand-up as well. You know when you do SNL, so many people are depending on your performance, it’s nice to go out and have an hour where you’re only responsible for yourself. SUN: What’s your favorite thing you’ve written for SNL? S.M.: I have a lot of things I’m really happy with. I really enjoy every time we write one of those “Really?”s with Amy — I like those a lot. I really enjoyed writing the Sarah Palin stuff with Tina, but there are other silly sketches that I’m really proud of. My favorite sketch I wrote this year was with Steve Buschemi, where he played a basketball coach and everyone thinks he’s a pedophile, but he’s not, which I just enjoyed. SUN: You did the White House Correspondents dinner last year, but you’ve also done a number of episodes of Martha Stewart’s show. Who is more intimidating: the president, or Martha Stewart? S.M.: That’s a fair question. Martha Stewart’s probably more intimidating in person, but the room at the Correspondents dinner was way more intimidating. It’s the friendliest room when you do Martha Stewart Show — I mean you just look out and it’s all pastels. But it’s fun. I went to Martha Stewart’s house to film a thing with her once and my family got to have lunch with her, and I have never been


so aware of my table manners than I was when I was eating in front of Martha Stewart. It was really intense. SUN: You host Weekend Update, and you played John Kerry in 2004, so has politics always been part of your humor, or more something that came with the job? S.M.: It’s funny; I grew up in New Hampshire, so when I was in high school, I graduated in ’92, and all the candidates would come and talk at our school. It’s just funny how that primary season rolling around every four years makes you really aware of it at a slightly younger age. SUN: With this election, are you ever just tempted to transcribe entire debates or some of the more ridiculous things candidates say? S.M.: This year we found it really interesting because we went into the year so excited about who the Republican candidates were, but they’re almost so silly that it feels mean when you write sketches about them. Whereas a lot of the time, we’re just sort of repeating what they said. Because, if you wrote a sketch about Rick Perry not being able to remember three out of three things it would be mean, but then when it happens you kind of have to. SUN: Have you had any weird comments or negative reactions from political figures because of sketches? S.M.: There haven’t really been any weird things, but the nice thing for me is that Lorne instills in us to try and never write a joke that you would be embarrassed to see the person. So it’s funny when you do the Correspondents Dinner and I’ll run into Sarah Palin and say hello, because we met when she did the show and John McCain’s such a friend of the show. I feel like the weird thing is when you make a joke about a liberal, they’re probably more sensitive about it because they assume it’s a safer place for them. SUN: What do you do, now that you’re the head-writer, when a writer has something that they think is really funny, but no one else does? S.M.: We have this nice process where we have a table read on Wednesday, so the writer gets to hear their work read for a room full of about 50 people; it’s very hard to argue it’s funny if it hasn’t played for that many people who are especially comedy people, so usually you don’t have to give people really bad news. There are times where something will play well at drafts, but may be the thing the host doesn’t like, and so that doesn’t make air, and sometimes people are disappointed or upset about that, but more often than not there’s a pretty good reason. SUN: Has that ever happened to you? S.M.: It did a lot more in my first half of the time I’ve been on the show, but I’ve been a lot more practical with age, like anyone does, and now if I have a thing that I feel is a B-, I’d rather it get pulled. Some of my least favorite things are ones


that made the show that I had hoped wouldn’t. SUN: You’re writing a screenplay — is that a lot different than writing sketches? S.M.: So much different, so much harder. It’s like the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But it’s fun. SUN: Is that kind of the direction you think you’re moving in, career-wise? S.M.: I like to try and keep as many options open as possible and that’s a fun one as well. SUN: I hear Paul Simon is backstage a lot; how do you react to that as a fan? S.M.: He’s there every so often — he’s a friend of Lorne’s so he’ll show up every now and then. It’s weird. I can’t even express to Paul Simon how much of a fan I am of his. Like if I told him how much his music meant to me, we wouldn’t be able to interact. Graceland is one of my favorite albums of all time, and it’s so weird to meet him and not be able to go like, “I just want you to know, meeting you is just…” The amazing thing was when Paul McCartney did the show. I’ve never seen anyone be better at handling those people, especially because everybody has a story about Paul McCartney, where the moment was more important to them than it was to Paul McCartney, and he makes them feel like it was just as important to him. Which is great. Julia Moser is a freshman in the College of Arts and Sciences. She can be reached at

a dynamite slope day set SLOPE DAY

Continued from page 1



invaded all analog frequencies and lossy file types back in early 2010 and is the best-known of the band’s vociferous dance-rock tunes. This synth-pop band from Utah sure has some killer instinct. Since winning over alternative rock titans The Killers, Neon Trees has gone from opening act (most memorably for the North American leg of The Killers’ 2008 Day and Age tour) to full-fledged new wave revivalists. Neon Trees sounds like a mix of The Killers, Duran Duran, Jason Mraz and Foster the People, with frequent throwbacks to 60s doo-wop. The band’s sundrenched vocals, accompanied by fleet-fingered and friendly guitar melodies, would be perfect for a day out on the slope. Its laidback vibe might present a happier, and still danceable, alternative for those who do not quite take to Cruz’s pounding numbers. After failing to become the darling of hipster critics, Neon Trees has carved its own home on DJ sets and our little sisters’ iPods (an arguably larger and

louder contingent). Besides, the Pitchfork loyalists have their own Neon Indian to illuminate them in its plasmaglow. At any rate, Neon Trees deserves boundless respect for its startling ability to channel the crooners of old whenever the occasion calls for it. In a 2010 Billboard performance, the band rendered fellow label mate Justin Bieber’s smash hit “Baby” unrecognizable, then smoothly segued into Ben E. King’s classic “Stand By Me.” Bobby Darin and Buddy Holly would have been proud. The road to the Slope Day artist announcement bumps into few optimists over its treacherous length, and seemingly none right after. Fans of Weezer, Avicii and Flo Rida — the three artists who were fruitlessly pursued by the SPDB in the selections process — were disappointed. Both Taio Cruz and Neon Trees lean heavily on past and present influences and may not represent the highest artistic heights of their genre. But they are certainly heard. Think back to a recent Collegetown memory. Among the clip-clop of stilettos, shatters of beer bottles, guttural hurls and random ambulance siren, there is that distant echo of “Ayo! Baby let’s go!” It seems to loop ad infinitum. And it will return, louder than ever and amplified by your peers, along with the rest of the that aural sampler, on May 4. Daveen Koh and Zachary Zahos are the Arts and Entertainment Editors of The Sun. They can be reached at

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, March 30, 2012 11



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Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Nichols Lewis

ACROSS 1 Legendary kicker 5 Go slowly 9 Start to strip? 13 Neural transmitter 14 Old carrier 16 Count (on) 17 Actor roomies’ mailbox label that sounds like racing groups? 19 Fifty-fifty 20 In the wrong way 21 On a cargo ship, say 23 Mink cousin 24 Actor/flutist roomies’ mailbox label that sounds like a crook? 28 Jodie Foster title role 31 First apartment, perhaps 32 TV host/singer roomies’ mailbox label that sounds like a vital sign? 37 Begins a concert tour 38 Flamenco shout 39 Cyberspace giant 41 Waikiki wreath 42 Digestion-related commercial prefix 45 Actress/comic roomies’ mailbox label that sounds like an auto safety feature? 48 Youth who flew too near the sun 50 Appointment 51 Actress/cartoonist roomies’ mailbox label that sounds like an airport employee? 54 Frankfurt’s state 58 Winningest NFL coach 59 Resentful 60 Former eft 63 Screenwriter/actor roomies’ mailbox label that sounds like an old announcer? 65 Track 66 Net business 67 “Sesame Street” giggler

68 Heredity unit 69 “Now!” relative 70 Road sign silhouette

34 Make good on 55 Elegance 35 However, briefly 56 Note next to a 36 Blabbed red F, maybe 40 Plug end? 57 Miscue 43 Railroad crossing 59 Circular road 44 “That hurt my 60 Frothy traditional DOWN feelings!” beverage 1 Half a ’60s 46 Code of conduct 61 “__ of quartet 47 Visibly furious Destruction”: 2 Get a life? 3 Game you 49 Cook on the 1965 protest range song usually lose 62 Pallid 4 3-Down player, e.g. 52 Conspires 53 Poke, kitten-style 64 Peeples of “Fame” 5 Nimble 6 Seine filler ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE: 7 30-ton computer 8 Ristorante offering 9 Invent 10 Gun 11 Stein filler 12 MD for women 15 Desert rises 18 Work the party, in a way 22 Opposite of exo25 “A Passage to India” heroine 26 Montana, once 27 Respectful response 29 Not clerical 30 Alibi provider, sometimes 32 Pueblo people 03/30/12 33 Smart guy?

By Pancho Harrison (c)2012 Tribune Media Services, Inc.


Mr. Gnu

Up to My Nipples

Sun Sudoku


Puzzle #15.7777777777

Fill in the empty cells, one number in each, so that each column, row, and region contains the numbers 1-9 exactly once. Each number in the solution therefore occurs only once in each of the three “directions,” hence the “single numbers” implied by the puzzle’s name. (Rules from /Sudoku)

The Lawn

by Liz Popolo ’08


by Garry Trudeau

Travis Dandro

by William Moore ’12 and Jesse Simons grad


12 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, March 30, 2012

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Wednesday, March 28, 2012 13

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14 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, March 30, 2012


Green Poses Threat to Cornell M. LACROSSE

Continued from page 16

offensive players, who have the ability to score. They have a tough defense. It’s a home game for them and they’re in a desperate position in the Ivy League and they’re going to be ready to give us their best shot and deliver a knockout punch right away in Hanover on Saturday.” Some of the Green’s players that Daugherty warned about include senior attackman Drew Tunney, who has tallied 23 points on the season, and junior midfielder Chris Costabile, who leads the team with 12 goals. Dartmouth also gains support from senior midfielder Alex Del Balso, who has won 60 face-offs and nabbed 33 ground balls. Even though some members of the Red say they are not completely satisfied with the way things have been going, Cornell remains in the company of the elite teams in the NCAA as it moves past the

half-way point in the regular season. “The season is a work in progress,” Austin said. “We’re always trying to get better in every phase of the game. We’ve been trying to … play smarter. Mostly during the week we’re working on improving our own game.” While the Red busied itself over the past week, preparing for the matchup in Hanover, the Ivy League handed out weekly awards — naming junior attacker Steve Mock the Ivy League Player of the Week and freshman attacker Matt Donovan a Co-Rookie of the Week, his second of the season. A win over Dartmouth on Saturday would leave the Red undefeated in Ivy play and continue the team’s best start since head coach Ben DeLuca started at Cornell. Zach Waller can be reached at


The 11th hour | The Red’s last minute heroics in its ninth-inning win over Albany, 5-2, helped improve the team to 13-4-1 for the season.

Red Set for Doubleheaders With Harvard, Dartmouth BASEBALL

Continued from page 16


Dynamite | Freshman Matt Donovan earned honors as Ivy League Rookie of the Week for the second time this season; the attacker is second on the team in points, having notched 10 goals and 8 assists.

Watts Hopes Pieces Come Together for Red SOFTBALL

Continued from page 16

Blood. Dartmouth has hard hitting and a solid pitching staff. Freshmen pitcher Kristen

“But, our main focus should be shoring up our defense as we have had a few errors in the past couple of games.” The head coach highlighted a few players to look forward to

“We are going to be tested in every ballgame, but our main focus should be shoring up our defense.” Dick Blood Rumley won Ivy League Rookie of the Week honors this past week. “We are going to be tested in every ballgame,” Blood said.

this weekend, such as senior captain Erin Keene. The captain is batting .281, with 2 HR and 8 RBI. Sophomore infielder Jenny Edwards leads the team in

HR’s (3) and RBI (11). Sophomore pitcher Alyson Onyon could pose additional problems for the opposing batters, as she boasts a 4-2 record with a 2.75 ERA, including throwing three complete games. “Our record does not reflect where we should be,” Watts said. “The problem so far has been the inability to put all the pieces [offense, defense and pitching] together in one game. Hopefully, with the pressure and stress that the Ivy League season brings, we will be able to do it.” Scott Eckl can be reached at

five-run inning, junior leadoff hitter Brenton Peters singled to center to bring in Hall. The Red’s productive offense carried into the second game of the doubleheader against the Great Danes, as it jumped to a 1-0 lead in the second inning. Sophomore Chris Cruz started off the inning with a single, and after advancing to third on a bunt and an infield single, Cruz scored on a groundout to give the Red the lead. Going into the fifth inning, the score was tied, 1-1. However, senior outfielder Brian Billigen kicked off another rally with an RBI triple — extending his hitting streak to 16 games. He then scored on Cruz’s sacrifice fly. The Great Danes came right back with two runs of their own off freshman reliever Nick Busto. With the score once again tied, 3-3, the game was called due to darkness. “It’s unfortunate because we had momentum,” Lee said. Despite only picking up one win on the day, the victory was the Red’s thirteenth of the season — already three more than the team had at the end of last season. “It’s not really something we’ve thought of, but looking back we’re fortunate to be doing better than last year,” Lee said. “But you can’t really live in the past in baseball, we’ve kind of just flushed out what happened last season.” With the woes of a disappointing season now a distant memory, the Red prepares to kick off Ivy play this weekend, with two doubleheaders against Harvard and Dartmouth. Last year, the Red dropped two games to Dartmouth, the eventual Ivy League runners up. One loss came in extra innings off a walkoff single after a lengthy pitcher’s duel. “Dartmouth comes with a solid club year in and year out, but they lost some pitchers that have been in their rotation for a few years now,” Lee said. The Green (3-10) lost ace Kyle Hendricks, who was 5-3 last season with a 2.47 ERA. However, a large part of the explosive offense that is characteristic of Dartmouth’s team is returning. Ennis Coble returns as a junior and has continued to put up big numbers. As a sophomore, Coble hit .361 and drove in 40 runs. This year he is leading the team at .326. Senior Joe Sclafani, who hit .349 with 34 RBI’s last season, also returns. “They’re a team that is always tough and always competitive,” Lee said. Harvard (2-16) has played some tough competition already this season, including No. 7 Arizona and No. 19 Stetson. The Crimson offense is led by infielder Carlton Bailey, who is batting .346, and Brent Suter and Joey Novak are at the heads of the staff with 3.47 and 2.55 ERA’s, respectively. According to Lee, though, the Crimson is an unpredictable team. “Harvard’s a team that you’re not always sure what you’re going to see,” he said. “But we expect to go in and take two wins from them.” Scott Chiusano can be reached at

n cor


un .c o m

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, March 30, 2012 15



Team Set to Race First Double Dual Match of Season

By ALEX GATTO Sun Staff Writer

After a long fall season of training and preparation, the women’s rowing team will begin its spring season at Syracuse on Saturday. Cornell will have to face two opponents in this weekend’s meet. Beginning at 9 a.m., Cornell will take to the water against Rutgers, while Syracuse will race Boston University. “The winners from each of those races will race each other in the afternoon and the losers will race the losers,” said head coach Hilary Gehman. “That’s kind of the double dual system.”

to a conference automatic qualifier system allowed the Ivy League to have its first ever Ivy League championships, which is scheduled for later this spring. According to Gehman, Cornell will continue to face stiff competition in the Ivy League, as the other Ancient Eight schools have historically had strong women’s rowing programs. “Cornell has never won the Ivy League. We’ve only beaten Princeton once in 1983 and we began racing them in 1976,” the head coach said. “In terms of being ‘the winner’ of the Ivy League … that’s going to be challenging.” Gehman remained optimistic about Cornell’s chances of garnering an invitation to the NCAA tournament, citing the team’s endurance, dedication to hard work and depth as the its greatest assets. An invitation to last year’s

NCAA tournament eluded the 2010-2011 team — something Gehman does not want to happen to this year’s team. “We had a great spring season last year, our best spring season that we’ve had since I’ve been here,” Gehman said. “We were not invited to NCAAs, and as a result I think that’s fired up the team to work harder and to really dig in and push themselves as hard as possible.” According to the head coach, the team looks forward to competing and being able to showcase the amount of work everyone has put in over the fall and winter. “I think everyone is really excited,” Gehman said. “This is what we train for.” Alex Gatto can be reached at

“In terms of being ‘the winner’ of the Ivy League ... that’s going to be challenging.” Hilary Gehman While Cornell will face off against Syracuse’s perennially strong team if it hopes to pull away with a win this weekend, the team is confident in its ability to perform well. “I think we’re in a really good position this year to be fast and win our races this weekend,” Gehman said. “We’re looking to race our best and go for a good race time.” According to Gehman, this year’s schedule will contain mostly dual and tri meets. Additionally, most of this season’s races will be in the “double” format, so the Cornell team will race more than once on any given race day. “This year almost every race is the double race format, which is new,” Gehman said. “I’m really happy that it’s come together that way because it’s great preparation for the Ivy League Championships.” This is the first year that there will be an Ivy League championship for women's rowing. It was created after a change in the system that qualifies teams for the NCAA tournament. Previously, the Ivy League belonged to the Eastern Sprints Rowing League, which included teams like Syracuse. In 2013, a conference qualifier system will be put into place for half of the NCAA championship teams, with the winning schools advancing automatically to the NCAA tournament and the remaining schools competing via atlarge invitations. The shift from a regional qualifier system


There she goes | The women’s rowing team kicks off the spring portion of its 2011-2012 season, traveling to Syracuse to race against Rutgers and either its host school or Boston University.

Collins Signs Two-Year NHL Contract By DANI ABADA Sun Assistant Sports Editor

Although the men’s hockey season is over, senior forward and alternate captain Sean Collins recently received news that his hockey career will continue after graduation. On Thursday, the National Hockey League’s Columbus Blue Jackets announced that they were signing Collins to a two-year contract. Before coming to play at Cornell, Collins — a Saskatoon, Saskatchewan native — was selected by the Blue Jackets in the seventh round of the 2008 NHL Draft. Just yesterday, however, he became the first of the four graduating Red hockey seniors to sign a professional contract. As a Cornellian, Collins played 136 games total with the Red. As a freshman, he immediately earned a regular spot on the line-up, and scored his only goal of the season against Bemidji State in the NCAA Midwest Regional final. After switching from wing to center, Collins continued to rack up more points with each passing season. According to head coach Mike Schafer ’86, a key aspect of Collins’ game that has improved over the past four years is his consistency. “He’s done a great job becoming more of a physical player, a more consistent player and just mentally tougher,” he said. “He’s improved every aspect of his game. He’s faster and he’s stronger. I don’t think there’s an area of his game that he hasn’t improved.” This year as a senior, Collins posted 13 goals and 26 points — a career high. In all 35 of the Red’s games this season, he played exclusively on a line with freshmen Joel Lowry and John McCarron. Ending his Cornell career on a positive note, Collins notched two assists in the NCAA Midwest Regional semifinal against No. 2 Michigan on March 23, contributing to the Red’s 3-2 overtime victory. “It’s great to see because he’s worked so hard

to develop his game,” Schafer said. “From his freshman to senior year, with all the time he’s put in during the summer here, before practice and after practice, he’s been fully committed to achieving that goal of signing a pro contract. I’m really excited for him. It was great to see him this morning with the smile on his face when he said he signed an NHL contract.” Dani Abada can be reached at

Heavyweights Kick Off Spring Season The men’s heavyweight rowing team opens up its spring season with split squad meets on Saturday, March 31 and Sunday, April 1. The Red will send two varsity boats to compete in the two-day San Diego Crew Classic, while the freshman and third varsity boats will remain in Ithaca to battle against Harvard on Saturday at 9 a.m. The two boats that travel to San Diego, Calif. to participate in the thirty-ninth annual Crew Classic will also compete against the Crimson in their respective heats on Saturday. The first var-

sity boat will battle against the likes of Harvard, Navy and UCSD. Historically, the Red has emerged victorious in regattas with Navy; however, they will most likely provide Cornell a welcome challenge. Leading the team this season are senior Commodores Brian Searle and Jim Voter, who will be competing in the first varsity boat for the Red. If Cornell advances in its heat on Saturday, it will race in the finals on Sunday. — Compiled by Lauren Ritter

Are you an athlete who would like to be interviewed for Ten Questions? Do you have a teammate who might be interested?


Higher | Sean Collins signed a two-year NHL contract with the Columbus Blue Jackets on Thursday.

If so, e-mail Ten Questions runs every Thursday.

The Corne¬ Daily Sun





Squad Sees Room For Improvement In Future Games By ZACH WALLER Sun Staff Writer

Following a three-win Spring Break, the men’s lacrosse team hits the road this weekend for a showdown with Ancient Eight foe Dartmouth. The Red takes to the turf at Scully-Fahey Men’s Lacrosse Field in Hanover, N.H. on Saturday for a 1 p.m. match-up with the Green. The No. 4/5 Red (6-1, 2-0 Ivy Cornell League) currently sits atop the Ivy League, sharing the spot with No. 11 Princeton and Harvard. Following a tough overtime loss at the hands of current-No. 2 Virginia at Baltimore’s vs. M&T Bank Stadium in the Konica Minolta Face-Off Classic, the Red was able to regroup and claim three wins over break, including its first two Ivy League wins of the season, as it took Dartmouth down Yale, No. 10 Denver and Penn. While the Red appears to enter the Tomorrow, 1 p.m. contest on a strong note, Dartmouth Hanover, N.H. (2-4, 0-1 Ivy League) enters Saturday’s tilt in desperate need of an Ivy win. The Green began its season strong, earning two close victories; however, the team has not been able to claim a win since March 3, going on a four-game los-


Keep going | Senior midfielder Scott Austin said that despite the success Cornell experienced in its three games over Spring Break, the Red felt it did not necessarily play its best brand of lacrosse and there is room for improvement in the upcoming weeks.

ing streak, including losing to No. 8 Duke in a 20-9 blowout on March 18. While results might suggest that the Red has played well in recent weeks, the team is not happy with the way things have been going in the past few games, according to senior midfielder Scott Austin. “While we’re happy that we got three wins over our spring break … we didn’t necessarily play our best lacrosse,” he said. “We played really sloppy offense and we had missed assignments on defense. [But,] we’re happy with our resiliency and being able to come out on top in the end.” Though Dartmouth has been struggling this season,

Austin said the Red knows that it is not a team that can be taken lightly — as is the case with every Ivy League opponent. “In the Ivy League, every game you throw records out the window,” he said. “Two years ago we lost to them, 8-5, when we were going in the more talented team.” According to senior midfielder Chip Daugherty, the Green brings more to the table than people might suspect. “Dartmouth is a much better team than their record reflects,” he said. “They’ve got a number of really talented See M. LACROSSE page 14


Team Hopes to Add Wins to Split Record By SCOTT ECKL

season with such a big rival.” Sun Staff Writer Watts noted that the Crimson’s main strength is its Kicking off its Ivy League pitching staff, pointing to the schedule on Friday, the softball standout talent of senior Rachel team faces the daunting task of Brown. playing a doubleheader against Head coach Dick Blood Harvard — the Red’s echoed Watts’ worry chief rival for the past over Harvard’s pitchSoftball two years. The ing. Crimson (12-7) “The main quesdefeated the Red in Harvard tion will be can we hit last year’s Ivy League Brown in the first championship series, game, while silencing after falling to the Red their bats,” he said. the previous year. “Our main focus is vs. Cornell also has a going to be on playing doubleheader against solid defense,” Watts Dartmouth on said. “We have had a Saturday. lot of experience over The Red begins this past break, so I do Cornell Ivy play at noon at not think that should home on Niemandbe a problem.” Robison Field, enterDespite the exciteTomorrow, noon ing the contest with a Niemand-Robinson Field ment and focus on 9-10 record after Harvard, Blood and going 5-6 over Spring Watts noted the equalBreak. However, ly important doubleCornell starts the most impor- header against Dartmouth. tant part of its schedule, since Ivy “We have to focus on each League opponents count for one opponent because they all count point each in the standings that the same at the end,” Watts said. determine who plays in the “We just have to take it game by championship. game, out by out.” “We have had such a long hisThe Green (7-8) is very simitory with Harvard,” said senior lar to the Red, according to captain Katie Watts. “So, it is See SOFTBALL page 14 very exciting for us to open our

Baseball Harvard


Cornell Tomorrow, noon David F. Hoy Field


Shotcaller | According to senior captain Brandon Lee, the Red came alive in the ninth inning against Albany on Tuesday afternoon when one player had a solid hit that sparked a series of four runs.


C.U.Wins With Ninth Inning Run Streak By SCOTT CHIUSANO Sun Assistant Sports Editor

It took eight innings, but the Red was finally able to plate four runs in the top of the ninth against Albany (5-16-1) on Tuesday, propelling the team to its fourth consecutive victory, 52. After being held to just one run until the final inning, the Red’s offense came alive at just the right time. “It all started with one guy

getting a base knock, and then hits started going our way,” said senior captain and catcher Brandon Lee. “Hitting is contagious.” Albany ace Aaron Chase left the Red (13-4-1) offense silent for eight innings before running into trouble in the ninth. “By that time we were used to what he threw and how he threw it since we had already seen him three or four times,” Lee said. Senior infielder Frank Hager

started off the rally with a hit by pitch and a stolen base. Freshman infielder Kevin Tatum then drove him in with a single up the middle, and another single by Lee put him safely on third. With the bases loaded after freshman catcher Matt Hall drew a walk, sophomore infielder Tom D’Alessandro came up big with a single down the left field line that plated two more. To cap off the See BASEBALL page 14


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