COMMON JOIE: Stillness Edition (SU 2023)

CONTENTS

Happy Summer, CoJoie's! We hope this season has been nothing but fruiful for you. The Common Joie Team has put together an edition that exemplifies remaining still in the midst of a busy season; loving those around you, and enjoying the small moments in life.

We want you to know that you deserve to be loved and to remember this season as one to bask and relish in the stillness.

With Joie and Love, The CJ Team.

COMMON JOIE PRESENTS THE STILLNESS EDITION

The summer season callls us out of hibernation. The warmth of the sun, salty air by the coast, and evening events has most of us feeling like we must be there for it all. This edition, however, offers a different perspective: to remain still in the midst of all the movement and summer commotion; to bask in the stillness, take a breath, and remain intentional in your actions.

When you step outside in the early summer morning, breathe. The summer's early morning air with its notes of dew and grass prompts us to remain mindful. It is an offering from this season to us, one that is rooted in peace, love, and intention.

MOTION

MOTION

Giving Yourself Grace

by Andrew Balayan

For some, summer is a long-awaited time to show off the body you’ve been working for all year. For others, it’s a time to relish in the stillness woven in this season’s essence. Whatever your reason, incorporating movement is a great way to enjoy the summer heat!

Southern California is notorious for its hot, dry summers. “Excessive Heat Warning” is a common line seen on the weather app. In recent years, it’s become hotter than usual (thanks, climate change! *insert cowboy emoji*). With that

you got up. you moved. you committed. something to celebrate!

A great way to stay hydrated throughout the day is drinking celticsalt water with the juice of 1 lemon. Add some ice, and voila! You have yourself a crisp, hydrating glass of agua.

said, safety should be of utmost priority if you choose to exercise outside. Make sure to hydrate properly. This doesn’t mean drinking a glass of water before a run or an intense lift session. It means drinking water (and electrolytes) throughout the day. A great and fast way to hydrate is by drinking coconut water.

I like the Harmless Harvest brand from Costco. It’s delicious and has only one ingredient (woo!). What I’ve been doing to ensure I stay hydrated throughout the day is starting off my morning drinking

TRUST THE PROCESS. BE PATIENT.

my 16 oz hydro flask with plain water. I keep it on my bedside table so I can reach for it upon waking. After this, I’ll lay out my yoga mat and do some dynamic stretches. For example, leg swings, hip openers, and the butterfly stretch. Then, I’ll do a 5 minute meditation and practice gratitude. I audibly will say what I am grateful for in my life. I find this allows me to count my blessings in real time and also is a

reminder of my privilege.

Once I finish, I'll go make my second glass of water for the day. “Make water?”

Yes. Hear me out. If you haven’t heard of Celtic salt, now you have. It’s a natural source of electrolytes which maintains hydration. I add a pinch or two to an 8 oz mason jar. Then, I’ll add either the juice of 1 lemon or my ginger-lemon elixir. I’ll add some ice then regular water over. Mix it up, and voila! A tasty, easy-to-

drink hydrating cup of Joe (what should we call a cup of water? Joey?). Anyway, I stress hydration because becoming dehydrated during a workout, especially if outdoors, is a real concern in the summertime in southern California. Stay hydrated, stay well!

Okay, we’ve covered the most important part of Motion for the summertime. Now, what kind of exercises should you try this season? Personally, I enjoy early-morning runs. I find it sets up my day for success, and there is always a specific scent outdoors in the summer early mornings that I can’t get enough of. If you don’t enjoy running, try a walk! Walking is exercise. Just because you aren’t doing a strenuous activity does not mean you aren’t working out. Don’t be misled. You are moving. You are grooving. And that’s all that matters! The point is that moving in the morning, however long it may be, can do wonders for your day.

I f you are a gym-goer, and enjoy that, stick to it! Going to the gym, specifically in the summer, is a great way to squeeze a workout in and beat-the-heat. Don’t feel as if you need to always exercise outside because it’s “nice” out.

There will be plenty more summer days to come.

Give yourself grace and be patient. We often look for immediate gratification in many aspects of life, specifically with exercise. The thing is, exercise in and of itself is a marathon. You aren’t sprinting to a finish. Well, you aren’t running towards a finish at all, because there isn’t one! Once you hit your goal(s), you set new ones. After a while, exercise will become not something you do for aesthetics, but for mental clarity sanity.

lifter, yogi, or a pilates girly, incorporating movement in your dayto-day is an incredible way to practice wellness. You learn so much about yourself through the process. I know it can be hard, and at times, you will want to give up because you aren’t seeing visible, physical changes. But!

Whether you’re a runner,

It is your perseverance that will shine at the end of the day then any physical goal you set for yourself. It is your mental strength, discipline, and determination to stick to a goal and reach it. If you are worried about showing off

your body this summer, I am here to remind you that you are doing the best you can with all that you have going on in your life. So, in circling back to “giving yourself grace,” remember your journey is specific to you. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. There is only one of you in this world, and that is something to celebrate. Take

FRESHEN

Have You Seen My Sunscreen?

by Andrew Balayan

FRESHEN UP!

Ahh, the sweet scent of coconut SPF, floral body scrubs, and vanilla body butter. Summer is here, and it’s hot – very, very hot. If you live in southern California, it’s no surprise the summers here are grueling. Depending on where you live, your skin will have different needs. In the desert, which is where I am from, my skin longs for moisture. I mean, makes sense, right? After

using loads of sunscreen, being in the sun (and perhaps some body of water), then coming home to wash it off, your skin will naturally crave a restorative cream to not only rehydrate your skin, but lock in the moisture. When applying oils, creams, and the like, I recommend doing so when your skin is damp. Once stepping out of the shower, grab a body oil such as vitamin E and lather it on parts

of your body that you feel needs the extra moisture. Then, go in with body butter. This ensures further hydration and keeps your skin feeling soft and rejuvenated. For vitamin E, I like the brand Jasōn.

The Kopari Body Butter is my go-to, specifically the Tahitian Vanilla scent. It smells incredible and you feel like a vanilla cupcake after putting it on.

O kay, we’ve covered body care for the summer. Let’s chat about the skin on your face. If there is one thing you should know about me, it is that I am a

sunscreen stickler. Like, I’m putting on SPF every day, rain or shine, and that is because sunscreen not only prevents skin cancer, fine lines and wrinkles, and uneven skin tone/texture, but also has been linked to decreasing visible signs of aging. Who wouldn’t want that? A randomized controlled trial published by the National Library of Medicine conducted a study on the relationship between sunscreen and the prevention of aging. The results indicated that those using sunscreen daily showed no visible signs of aging after 4.5

years. Moreover, skin aging from baseline point to the end of the trail was seen as 25% less in the daily sunscreen group.

What’s the take-away from this study? Wear sunscreen. And wear it every day. My tried and true SPF for the face is the

Pipette SPF 50 Mineral Sunscreen. It truly is the best on the market, and I say this because many sunscreens have tried and given a fair shot in recent years; however, nothing compares to Pipette. It’s light, leaves no white cast, and is noncomedogenic (won’t clog

pores), clean and nontoxic. The pistachiocolored packaging is also beautiful. You can find the Pipette SPF 50 Mineral Sunscreen at Target or Amazon!

So, this summer, treat your skin with love, hydration, and attention.

Part of wellness is physical self-care, and it's important to prioritize your skin, especially in this heat. Put on some music, drink your favorite drink, and freshen up!

LA MODE

MODE COASTAL EFFORTLESS LAMODE SUMMER2023

Summer Serenity: Embracing Tranquility in Fashion

by Bea Cuenco

What does being in love feel like?

To one of our CoJoies, Maddie Condra, being in love feels light and airy and like she’s her best self – just like the clothes she wears during the summertime. This expressed freedom and lightness is the embodiment of this season’s fashion. The blues and whites perfectly exhibit the June Gloom that diffuses the warm California sun we have grown so fond of. But despite the waiting, there is a sense of appreciation and calmness as we await the familiar warmth of our summer days.

The summer season is a time of warmth, vibrancy, and delightful escape from the routines of daily life. Amidst the scorching sun and the lively ambiance, there exists a serene and tranquil allure in adorning oneself with neutral colors. Wearing these soft and understated hues during the summer can be a reflection of inner calmness and the pursuit of peace.

Neutral colors, such as whites, beiges, creams, and soft grays, possess a remarkable ability to soothe the senses. They offer a respite from the bold and vivid colors often associated with the season, creating a harmonious balance between the external world and one's inner self. In the blistering heat of summer, these subdued tones lend a refreshing touch, evoking a sense of coolness and composure.

When dressed in neutral colors, there is a subtle elegance that emanates from its simplicity. The absence of vibrant shades allows the individual to shine through without the potential distractions of embellishment. It is as if the attire becomes a canvas, upon which the wearer's natural beauty and persona are elevated. The understated charm of neutral tones is timeless and effortless, transcending fleeting trends and affirming the wearer's individuality.

Furthermore, neutral colors possess the unique ability to seamlessly blend with various styles and settings. Whether strolling along a sandy beach, attending a garden party, or simply enjoying a leisurely afternoon, these hues adapt effortlessly to any occasion.

They provide a versatile foundation, lending themselves to be paired with vibrant accessories or serving as a backdrop for bold statement pieces. Their versatility allows for limitless creativity, enabling individuals to express their personal style while maintaining a sense of tranquility. One of our La Mode models and photographers, Akila Rajesh, shares that she likes to accessorize in a very subtle way. Adding on a light, delicate accessory for summer – something that is just for you, not anyone else – is a fun way of giving yourself a gift. In the summer heat, when everything seems to move at a faster pace, donning neutral colors can instill a sense of peace and mindfulness. They create a visual pause amidst the flurry of activity, inviting a moment of reflection and introspection. By embracing these muted tones, individuals can find solace in the simplicity of their surroundings and cultivate a deeper connection with nature.

Wearing neutral colors during the summer is a testament to the beauty of calmness and peace. These soft, understated hues provide a refuge from the vibrant chaos of the season and offer a sense of inner tranquility. They exude elegance, adaptability, and a timeless appeal that allows individuals to embrace their individuality. By choosing neutral tones, we not only express our personal style but also invite a serene and harmonious ambiance into our lives, allowing us to fully savor the enchantment of summer. And in these serene moments, an added sentimentality to each clothing item or accessory allows us to relish in our favorite memories – as noted by one of our models this season, Patrick Zhang.

"They create a visual pause amidst the flurry of activity, inviting a moment of reflection and introspection."

The calming effect of neutral tones allows us to strip away the chaos in the metaphysical fashion world and be at peace with how we present ourselves on the daily. But it doesn’t hurt, however, to make a bold choice every once in a while to explore our self-expression as bursts of art to share with others. Fashion can complement and enhance self-love, and it is a personal journey that encompasses various aspects of one's life. Don't be afraid to make bold choices this summer, but also don’t forget about the pieces that make you feel safe and serene.

"There exists a serene and tranquil allure in adorning oneself with neutral colors."

NOURISHMENT

Satisfying Summer Salads

by Donara Balayan

Summer evenings call for light, crisp, refreshing salads. During the summer season, my menu for lunch and dinners consist of a lot of different salads. Sometimes you just want something light that will still be satisfying and a summer salad does just that. Growing up my summers consisted of cold cut sandwiches and just a simple cucumber, tomato salad or a Shiraz salad. Cold cut sandwiches are delicious, but over the years I’ve tried to cut out the processed meats and have opted for grilled veggie sandwiches. Salads, however, I will never ever get tired of. There are so many different versions of different salads and the possibilities

NOURISHMENT

A traditional Armenian “salad,” and I put this in quotations because it could be made into a salad or be eaten the way I’m going to describe now. When I was a child, summer days were spent outside all day, running around the neighborhood, playing handball and hide and seek. When it was time to come home, I would come home to a table set up with watermelon cut into triangle pieces with the rim on, Valbreso feta cheese, warmed pita bread and sprigs of fresh mint. The culmination of all of these scents are so fresh and nostalgic for me. You would take the pita bread, add a few pieces of the Valbreso feta cheese, add a few pieces of fresh mint, roll up the pita into a tightly packed roll and voila, dinner.

Now to eat this, you first take a bite of the sandwich, then after a few chews, take a bite of the watermelon. The combination of the salt from the feta cheese and the refreshing watermelon juice is incredible and the mint adds another level of freshness. Now of course you can make this into salad by just cubing the watermelon or even using a melon baller, adding crumbled feta cheese and chopped mint – absolutely mouth-watering delicious!

Another salad that I often make during the summer is one that stores really well in the refrigerator for 3-4 days and this is why I make a big batch! You can find the recipe on the next page.

Summer Salad Recipe

1 Napa cabbage- finely chopped

1 can organic chickpeas- peeled

1 can organic red beans

1 can organic corn

4 celery ribs- finely chopped

4 cucumbers- halved long ways and sliced.

1 red onion- finely diced

Enjoy with your favorite dressing. Again, the possibilities for making salads are endless. You can get really fancy or keep it to three simple ingredients. Make it your own and have fun making it, but most of all enjoy it!

"The culmination of all of these scents are so fresh and nostalgic for me. You would take the pita bread, add a few pieces of the Valbreso feta cheese, add a few pieces of fresh mint, roll up the pita into a tightly packed roll and voila, dinner."

"When it was time to come home, I would come home to a table set up with watermelon cut into triangle pieces with the rim on, Valbreso feta cheese, warmed pita bread and sprigs of fresh mint."

how wonderful it would be to walk with you in the city once more to have your arm around me with my hand in your pocket once more i want to lay next to you in an open field watch the clouds pass by and listen to the sound of your pen as you write gently once more i want to lock hands with you to have you lead me to places i am unfamiliar with. did you know?

i was willing to follow you anywhere.

Poem by Gabrielle Manzana

BODY NEUTRALITY

What Does It Matter What I look Like?

by Layla Dargahi

The phrase that I push out of my head before the dust has the chance to settle, the pill that is too big to even think about swallowing. I sit at my small and sunny dining room table, a beautiful day to feel oh-somiserable, but that is the way it had seemed to go most days.

NEUTRALITY

A pair of eyes stare straight back waiting for an answer, as I sit and try to understand what that could even mean. My brain strains itself to do whatever it takes to translate that question into one within my realm of existence. I frantically look around the room, desperately seeking to find the answer in the dying plant near my window, in the intricate floral pattern of my table cloth, or my last resort, in the solemn-faced painted woman on the wall. I usually look to her for answers but, alas, there is no reply this time around.

“Well, why does it matter?” I hear the words echo again from the computer screen.

The thoughts start to formulate and take shape in my head. How dare she ask me a question like that? What possible answer does she think I could give her? She’s my therapist, she should know about all my relationships and that the one with my body is the most sacred, yet combative and tumultuous. A toxic partner forever in my life, who is so bad for me but I am stuck with forever.

Over a year later, that question still haunts me. Through all phases of my life, good and bad, I have always wondered if I look fat at any moment. During an exam, being out on the playground, walking through the park, shopping at the grocery store to pick out dessert for the night, and even while lying in a hospital bed with tubes and wires connected to all parts of my body.

While tackling the above question will require the writing of an entire book of its own, I know that the journey towards of feeling love, peace, and appreciation for my body is one that is worth it, even if I never reach the ideal and final destination unwavering peace.

I have learned very recently that in moments when I find it hard to appreciate my physical appearance and my body, I work to pour my outstanding love and appreciation towards another crevice in my mind and self that seems more willing to receive it. At times, it feels too exhausting to break down the walls that are preventing me from tackling my physical self-

be dipped into.

As I truly transition out of girlhood and dive head-first into womanhood, I have found gratitude in newly discovered or fully realized qualities within myself. While recently partaking in my unofficial yearly self-reflection, I looked back at the triumphs and tribulations of my life thus far. I realized that my younger self would be amazed to see how I have handled myself in a variety of very “adult” situations I had observed as a young child, but never thought I could take on with strength and stride.

There is love deserved and to be given for these life moments. Why be confined to using my perception of my physical appearance as a measuring tool for the amount of love I can prescribe myself? Which begs the even broader question, why should my love even be limited?

Knowing that my relationship with my body extends beyond my physical appearance is daunting upon first thought, but provides a surprising sense of relief as then my entire selfimage is not just dependent on how I look. Rather it is contin gent on how I think, as it is my life experiences and influences that have defined the perspective I have on my physical appearance.

There is something to be said about prioritizing self love in the form of positive time with yourself. I feel grounded when I move my body in a way that brings me joy, through dancing, walking on a pretty day, swimming, stretching, and so much more. It’s an investment in myself, to grow the multiple facets

"At times, it feels too exhausting to break down the walls that are preventing me from tackling my physical self-image. But, I know I have a pool of self-love waiting to be dipped into."

that make up my being. Which deep down I know is much more fulfilling than the continuous obsession surrounding my physical image. more fulfilling than the continuous obsession surrounding my physical image.

When I try to think back to where this all stems from, it’s hard to pinpoint a direct rhyme or reason. It seems like a conglomeration of many small push pins that have been collectively pinned over the years to fill up the map of my mind. But, a universal truth is that there is an undeniable importance that our society places on physical appearance through subtle (and less subtle) media portrayals of women. Someone’s looks become the immediate way to categorize them, and the pressure can feel insurmountable. Yet, this is another battle I deserve to win.

The seemingly endless journey to self-acceptance can be exhausting and trailed with self doubt. It feels funny to have to make the conscious effort to change your own mindset, to be at peace with an ideal balance within. But, we are our own best supporter, Number 1 Fan, shoulder to lean on, and the only person who will forever be there no matter what. For my final thoughts, I will leave you with this haiku, to encapsulate my journey and to use as a mental sticky note, if you’d like.

Strength is found in me Thoughts come and go like the wind But my beauty shines

love spelled as

i hope someday i'll learn how to love myself

the way you love me

thank you for making me forget the gaps in my teeth

the roughness of my skin

thank you for making me not worry about how much space

im taking up, that it is okay that i matter

thank you for making me feel

that i am worthy of your warmth

your laughter is light that lingers,

tames the bad in me

thank you for growing like flowers inside my heart

thank you, thank you, thank you

thank you for teaching me how to embrace life a little tighter

Poem by Gabrielle Manzana

DIALECTS OF LOVE

Poem by Rischa Norbel-Taguba

There are 7,117 known languages.

A language is defined as broad and recognizable by countries. And then there are dialects. Dialects are more specific, often to a region.

For example, there is the Tagalog language.

A language spoken in my home.

But there is another that my mama and papa share and that is the Ilocano dialect.

There are over 170 dialects spoken in the Philippines, and just because there is Tagalog It doesn’t mean it encompasses the native tongue of this archipelago.

I think the same can be said about love.

Just as there are these universally recognized languages, there are also some loves more realized than others.

There is platonic love.

Familial love.

Romantic love.

And self-love to name the most common ones.

Then there are the miniscule, almost invisible parts of love from these people that we can just miss if we do not let our senses, our hearts, our bodies, our souls, and our spirits consume enough.

For me

love is tucked in the sweet Filipino spaghetti my mama makes for me whenever I’m back home in LA because she knows it’s my favorite,

it is found in the silliness of my papa-bestie dancing to karaoke songs because he knows my eyes will find him and will bring a laugh from me,

love is shared with friends crying, playing WNRS over Zoom calls, finding comfort in a time of unwanted distance,

it’s the world slowly opening back up again and a friend driving hundreds of miles just to see you for a weekend, no excuses,

it’s also shared in spontaneous plans of sliding down a massive hill on a tiny ice block that is magically big enough to carry anyone who dares to sit on it;

Going forward, on your tummy, or if you’re really brave, backwards.

Love is felt with a lover, cuddled on a twin XL in the dorms.

But it is also felt in the comfort of their words when there is a sea in between you.

It is experienced with difficult coworkers and extending grace because we were met with grace by a loving Father.

It is found in the children who remind you that life should never be too serious where we cannot laugh and dance and play, who write you beautiful poems as a goodbye after spending almost everyday in the past year together.

Love is going on bike rides until the sun goes down and we’re met with the stars.

Love is a flower given, not just to romantic lovers but to anyone.

Too often we see big loves.

The grand gesture kinds blasted on giant movie screens or on shared password accounts.

Love that is splattered across the pages we read and dream for.

Love said in the words I love you.

But if we only focus on these 7,117 general loves, we’ll miss the more specific ones. The ones specific to us. To our being.

The ones catered to caress the hardened parts of our hearts.

The ones made to fill the crevices of the emptied spaces in us.

The intricacies of love cannot all be defined. It is shared, it is lived through, it is experienced.

Intensive Outpatient Programs

by Madalyn Higdon

MENTAL HEALTH

Whether it be due to the onset of COVID-19, high tensions around Presidential elections, or nervousness regarding technological advancements in AI, there are plenty of reasons to feel out of depth in terms of managing one’s mental health.

Weekly therapy is a great option for coping with mental struggles. Both situational and deep-rooted concerns can be tackled in therapy, and often the one-to-one contact that therapy provides: can lead an individual to feeling lighter, mentally clearer, and more at ease.

MENTAL HEALTH

I started my therapeutic journey in 2020, at the height of the pandemic. I learned that there are many types of psychotherapy, including: psychoanalytic, psychodynamic, behavioral, cognitive, humanistic, and integrative or holistic. Often therapists will blend elements from different approaches in order to create a treatment plan that is best suited to fit to their client’s needs.

When beginning therapy, weekly sessions are a great place to start. The patient assesses patterns in their thoughts and behaviors throughout the week. These

patterns can then be brought to light in regular sessions, and with honest and open communication between the patient and therapist, insights tend to emerge. One of the most popular types of therapies, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), operates on the main theory that thoughts, feelings, and behaviors all impact each other.

In my first few sessions of therapy, I learned about the benefits of journaling, mindfulness, and even cognitive restructuring. As defined by Concordia University, cognitive restructuring “is a technique that has been successfully used to help people change the way they think…the goal is to replace stress-producing thoughts (cognitive distortions) with more balanced thoughts that do not produce stress.” I was able to make a lot of progress initially using this technique, alongside mindfulness meditation, and journaling. During demanding college curriculums and living on my own for the first time, I successfully replaced stress-producing thoughts with more balanced ones. There are times, however, when weekly therapy isn’t enough.

In my case, post-graduation, I was struggling. This is where Intensive Outpatient Programs can be of service.

Intensive Outpatient Programs are group-based, voluntary programs for individuals looking for support. This type of program, similar to a Partial Hospitalization Program, is designed as a transition from or alternative to inpatient hospitalization. They are time-limited, lasting anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. Intensive Outpatient Programs offer structured clinical services

I was definitely nervous for my first day of the Intensive Outpatient Program that I attended in Pasadena last Fall. I was greeted by one of the employees of the Center and I was told to fill out my intake paperwork. After completing the forms, I joined the Process group, which would become a hallmark of my experience at the Center.

During Process group, individuals are encouraged to share their feelings, and accept feedback from others in the group, should they so choose.

"I shared about my nervousness, how I was aware of myself in feeling - as one of only a few women at the table - that I may be misunderstood. In response, I was given encouragement."

I listened in on others’ experiences. What I heard were feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety. These were honest admissions of mental turmoil. When it came to my turn, I felt it only made sense to mirror that sincerity. I shared about my nervousness, how I was aware of myself in feeling - as one of only a few women at the table - that I may be misunderstood. In response, I was given encouragement. One by one, people told me that it was ok to feel the way I felt.

In the weeks that followed, I attended IOP on a scheduled basis.

Everyone’s experience is tailored to their needs. For me, it was Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 9:00 A.M. to noon. 9:00 to 10:15 A.M. was the first group, and 10:30 A.M. to noon was the second.

The groups I personally got the most out of were Process group, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Improv, and Coping Skills. These groups provided a lot of psycho-education, often in the form of handouts. We would discuss different thoughts, behaviors, or feelings we were experiencing, and then learn about ways to cope with them.

The groups themselves were informative, sometimes cathartic, and often required hard work – it can be exhausting to examine one’s emotions in order to make headway on the path to improvement. What made this program worthwhile for me, and why I feel so compelled to share it with the Common Joie community, is the impact it has had on my life and wellbeing–IOP, PHP, and other day programs similar to these, give time and space to heal. After a particularly intense Process group, a few of us would walk to the Starbucks nearby and grab a drink before the second group. It was a ritual that brought me a lot of joy. We would loosen up, joke around, and ready ourselves for the next group. I was able to make friends through IOP that I would likely have never encountered otherwise, and these friendships have taught me a lot about what it means to be there for someone. Sometimes, showing up is all it takes to show you care. At the Improv Group, we would start by going around in a circle one-by-one saying our name out loud, accompanied by an action to represent how we were feeling. Then, everyone

would repeat the name and action. I’d say “Maddy,” and shrug.

The individuals in the group, all of whom were also in difficult mental places, would say “Maddy,” too, and shrug back at me. There was something profound about the presence of the group. Whether old or young, depressed or anxious, from nearby or far away - these people came together and paid attention. We said each other’s names. We followed directions and played silly improv games, even if they felt embarrassing. We encouraged each other. We laughed. Ultimately, we were able to find joy and community in the simple act of play.

I’ll be the first to admit that Intensive Outpatient Programs

aren’t for everyone. For some, therapy on a weekly or bimonthly basis is more than enough. Cognitive behavioral therapy techniques like journaling, mindfulness, and cognitive restructuring prove effective. However, there is no shame in needing additional support. That’s exactly why these programs exist. If you feel yourself slipping into mental turmoil unimproved by weekly therapy, Intensive Outpatient Progrms are worth considering as an alternative to inpatient hospitalization.

I understand, firsthand, that navigating mental struggles can be cumbersome, but I can guarantee that you are not alone. There are people who understand what you are going through, and it’s likely that they’re closer than you think.

"Whether old or young, depressed or anxious, from nearby or far away - these people came together and paid attention."

At the Improv Group, we would start by going around in a circle one-by-one saying our name out loud, accompanied by an action to represent how we were feeling. Then, everyone would repeat the name and action. I’d say “Maddy,” and shrug. The individuals in the group, all of whom were also in difficult mental places, would say “Maddy,” too, and shrug back at me. There was something profound about the presence of the group. Whether old or young, depressed or anxious, from nearby or far away - these people came together and paid attention. We said each other’s names. We followed directions and played silly improv games, even if they felt embarrassing. We encouraged each other. We laughed. Ultimately, we were able to find joy and community in the simple act of play.

"Sometimes, showing up is all it takes to show you care."

"Ultimately, we were able to find joy and community in the simple act of play."

I accept the pain of growth

The uncertainty of change The fluidity of life

you remind me of the reasons breath can ease itself you remind me that life is to be enjoyed you remind me that I am me, in beautiful colors

guitar strums the smell of someone you know well

words that aren’t at all important, but feel important in those silent, cinematic moments kiss this life

you are here you are here

Poems by Madalyn Higdon

OF THE

Children are Our Humanity

by Gabrielle Lewis

Ilead my trail group through the mountains of California, learning about their parents’ divorce, guiding them through character development, or occasionally stopping to bend down and listen to them speak about their newest obsession. The strangest part is that I have just met them a day ago.

During my days, I work at

WOLF Adventures where I lead groups of children through our state’s parks and campgrounds, teaching them about community building while they teach me about what it means to grow up in this new world after the pandemic. WOLF is the Wilderness Outdoor Leadership Foundation. It was started in 1993 because we believe that outdoor learning experiences are

HEART

important for our human development, and that a commitment to excellence will help people reach their full potential. At WOLF, every week presents a new challenge with a new school and a new group of kids to understand. We work with kindergarten-aged kids to high school-aged kids, and sometimes we say goodbye to one group on the same day that we say hello to another. The camping trips can last from one day to five days, weekdays or weekends,

so we have a short time to build respect, care, and a clear understanding of every child. Every student comes with impressive lore, and it’s our job to sit down and unravel it.

On one trip where my trail group consisted of eleventh graders, we discussed our fears about the future.

I was responsible for reassuring them that the future is what they make of it, something other than what can be

decided for them. I was a high school junior in 2016 who had never been on an overnight camping trip in my life. Now I sit with the class of 2024 (and beyond) and wonder how I can give them the skills I would’ve wanted at that age. That trip was right after the pandemic in 2020, and the kids had nihilism on their brains. They let their thoughts drift into careless non-action; they were a group that had to see their senior class get their prom and graduation ripped away from them amid the pandemic.

They spoke of distrust in our government regarding the state of the environment, LGBT+ rights, and the housing crisis. They were hopeless but still mindlessly thinking about the schools they hoped to enter for university.

Hearing their words spin tales of vast emptiness, “... but I hope I get into Univ San Fran—that’s my top choice,” was jarring, to say the least. Reshaping their anxiety surrounding these events consisted of a series of questions about dealing with life's stress.

They taught me the power of intentional thought and positive thinking. Kids are funny in that way, teaching you while they are just living their life. We ended the trip with beautiful notes of positivity and hope for the future.

I was on a trip with kindergarteners, and the whiplash between a seventeen-year-old’s and a six-year-old's actions would make your head spin. Overwhelmed by their cuteness, the day was filled with cutesy-talk, short walks, and many snack

breaks. Of course, six- and seventeen-year-olds can physically and emotionally hurt each other; the only difference is that six-yearolds do it without intention. The correct response is love and understanding, even when a child is wrong and hurts themselves or others. They are too young to be disciplined—they wouldn’t understand the concept of consequences for their actions. They need extreme flexibility with their teachers and instruction because life doesn’t come to them in structure. For example, an activity where

they were meant to make a scale model of a bridge out of pasta and marshmallows turned into unbelievably sticky tables and broken pasta on the floor. I know they had fun, though.

Is fun more crucial to one’s day than structured experiences?

Is fun at the root of the human experience? Is fun what life is about? These little humans make a robust case for that idea, and I think I’ve become a believer. The kids of 2030 teach me how to forgive and understand basic human needs again.

Eleventh graders and kindergarteners are two extremes, though, because I routinely work with the 5-6th grade, and it’s the closest I believe I can get to pure humanity. At its rawest—these trips are about the children exercising their self-leadership and working on team building, while going through puberty and hormonal changes. I hike with them for three hours, encourage them while climbing, and hold their hand at night when they miss their mother. I teach them that the slurs they use are harmful -I’m not afraid to call them out when they need an ego check- and I hug them goodbye at the end of it all. The best feeling in the world is gaining the students’ trust because then I can really begin to figure out

why they may be acting out at school or at home. The fifth and sixth graders teach me communication, psychology, and new dance moves.

The parents of the students call on me and my staff to help raise these new generations, but the students teach me and my team, too. I have become so much more accessible, more confident, and more caring. I’m happy to participate in so many different lives while working with WOLF Adventures. Our campgrounds are surrounded by lush mountains, and much like the wildflowers that need the insects, nutrients, rain, and sun, we are responsible for nourishing our next generation of children so they, too, can bloom.

"Our campgrounds are surrounded by lush mountains, and much like the wildflowers that need the insects, nutrients, rain, and sun, we are responsible for nourishing our next generation of children so they, too, can bloom."

I hope in another life, we

on a wednesday afternoon,

we will go to the grocery store, and i will follow you around. i will patiently stand next to you while you inspect the oranges, and be at my best when you leave me the task of picking the perfect i will insist on carrying the paper bags on the way back home even though you are a lot stronger than me. i will let you take the last open seat, and i will be unbelievably steady in the middle of the train while everybody else sways because i want to show you how i can be strong, too.

i will help you slice the onions, roll up your sleeves when they get in the way, and let you do all the cooking but i will take the reins on washing the oil off the pan, wiping the table, and putting the plates away. in another life, in the next after, my love,

i will be more than happy to be the one who cleans up after you. to pick up the pieces, to fold the blanket, to be the one who reaches for the napkin when there is sauce on the you will never ask for any of this, but i will hope that this time, in it somehow saves us.

make it

perfect pack of salmon.

by Gabrielle

the corner of your mouth. this other life,

Poem

Manzana

BALANCE

Dear Work,

by Alyssa Fong

Dear Work,

Starting this letter to you

— a letter encompassing a long-standing and often tumultuous relationship —begets endless questions about your character. You’re enigmatic; you have meant, and will mean more than I will ever know. I certainly have many testimonials

to refer to. Everyone is all too ready to make a heated quip voicing endless thoughts about you. Your lovers chase you like a light at the end of the tunnel, always wanting more, searching for the happiness and prosperity you promise. Your critics eye you with disdain — and whenever you reach out, they sprint in the

BALANCE

endless thoughts about you. Your lovers chase you like a light at the end of the tunnel, always wanting more, searching for the happiness and prosperity you promise. Your critics eye you with disdain — and whenever you reach out, they sprint in the opposite direction without so much as a backward glance. You evoke passion in all of these people — passion that underscores

minds. Everyone moves towards or away from you without stopping to catch their breath. But you’re pervasive, and you demand to be known. Whether I move towards or away from you, your wrath is certain. Too much of you and you’re all-consuming. You let me use you as a form of escapism from the problems you cause. You’re an instrument

wielded by Capitalism to keep America’s servants in line, and I wholeheartedly resent you for it. I gave you my blood, sweat, and tears — screaming and suffering because I’d rather end my life than live it for your sake. Days spent poring over the worst of you, head spinning as I ran from class, to practice, to rehearsal, to home, to class again, then finally to burnout-induced hospitalization. Yet, still, I ran towards you, because I didn’t know any other way of being. With too little of you, I’m left purposeless,

an endless, inauthentic, capitalist trap without much meaning at all. In your absence, I lose the ability to create, to imagine, to rally, to be.

I have a life’s worth of whiplash from venturing from one extreme, to the other, and back again — and I am only left miserable, wondering if it’s possible to be content with you. To stop the running in either direction, and simply be still.

"Even in the midst of the chaos, we can be still."

But life (and for me, God) has a way of teaching hard lessons, of using oscillation to beg me to reexamine my way of life. In my life, I’ve chased you and run from you more times than I care to remember, growing weaker every time I retraced my steps. I let you, Work, lead me into a life I knew I couldn’t keep on living – but I had to learn that I could have you, and live too. Work, you taught me that you are a tool of Capitalism, but an entity in your own right. You were here before that dysfunctional system existed, and you will be

here long after it dies. And to know you, Work, I had to leave behind the blind adoration and raging rejection I’d directed towards you for as long as I can remember. Because you’ve always shown me hints of the thriving relationship we can have — one that has me stake claim to the land between too little and too much of you. Living in that inbetween means doing what I love: laboring over the logistics of gettogethers with my friends, serving as a role model to my sisters deep into young adulthood, and

"And to know you, Work, I had to leave behind the blind adoration and raging rejection I'd directed towards you for as long as I can remember."

consulting progressive organizations who are doing their part to change the world. And loving the moments of rest – to not be doing those things –just as much.

You’ve challenged me to make not only a mindset shift, but to actively apply the principle of stillness in work to my daily life. Even in the midst of the chaos, we can be still. We can reject the dominant culture’s obsession with you while understanding you, relishing equally in our time away. It is when more of us do this, being

still, that the conversation around you begins to change. Together, we can reach not an obsession with running towards you, or away from you, but we can learn to stand still and accept you as a fantastic facet of this beautiful life.

"In my life, I’ve chased you and run from you more times than I care to remember, growing weaker every time I retraced my steps."

SUMMER OF LOVE

SUMMER

Summer of Love

by Bea Cuenco

It’s the summer of love! In movie language, the idea of love in the summertime is captured through moments of intimacy, warmth, and companionship –oftentimes paired with a special somebody. Whether it’s due to market demand, mass craving for escapism and fantasy, or cultural influence, the fixation on romance as the main form of love in our collective consciousness will continue to feed our yearning for romance this summer. Does the chase for romance, however, have to dictate our satisfaction with life?

Believe me, I find it quite shocking that someone like me, a hopeless romantic, is preaching against romantic love. I’ve had my own struggles in finding authentic love in the age of cheap love marketed in dating apps. One day, however, sitting in my own sadness due to my perpetual longing for romance, I realized that my inner void from finding love only came from this constant wallowing that I grew comfortable with. I no longer wanted to wait for someone else to love me in order for me to start feeling like I was worthy of love. It was difficult to accept the

hard truth that no one else could give me the love that I so badly desired. Trust me, I blamed every aspect about myself to pinpoint the reason for my lack of a love life. I knew that I needed to believe that romance is not the form of love that I am destined to lean into at this time of my life.

Our relationships with the idea of love become much clearer once we de-center romance as its primary form. Love encompasses various dimensions beyond romantic love. Familial love, platonic love, selflove, agape love (which

transcends individualistic love), and spiritual love are some examples of unique expressions of affection, support, and connection. These are all different forms of love that shape our relationships, personal growth, and overall wellbeing – and I can only hope that by educating ourselves on these different areas, we can learn to have a healthier mindset about love and know that love chooses each and every one of us.

Familial love, the bond between family members, is a type of love that exists within the framework of

lean into at this

"I knew that I needed to is not the form of love

to believe that romance

that I am destined to time of my life."

blood relations. This love is characterized by a deep sense of loyalty, care, and unconditional support. It encompasses the love between parents and children, siblings, and extended family members. Familial love is rooted in a shared history, a mutual understanding, and the emotional ties that develop over time. It provides a sense of belonging, comfort, and security, as family members navigate life's joys and challenges together. Whether expressed through acts of kindness, sacrifice, or simply being there for one another, familial love plays a vital role in shaping

family members navigate life's joys and challenges together. Whether expressed through acts of kindness, sacrifice, or simply being there for one another, familial love plays a vital role in shaping our identities and nurturing our emotional well-being. Familial love is also not strictly bounded by blood relations. Those with whom we forge Another form of love, platonic love, named after the Greek philosopher Plato, represents a nonsexual and non-romantic form of love characterized by deep affection, camaraderie, and intellectual connection. It typically arises between

intellectual connection. It typically arises between friends, where mutual admiration and respect form the foundation of the relationship. Platonic love is devoid of physical desires or romantic intentions, instead focusing on emotional support, shared interests, and genuine care for one another. It allows individuals to cultivate a deep sense of companionship, trust, and understanding, transcending the boundaries of superficial attractions. Platonic love celebrates the beauty of friendship and serves

as a source of emotional fulfillment and personal growth.

Self-love is an essential type of love that centers on the individual's regard for oneself, encompassing selfacceptance, self-care, and self-compassion. It involves recognizing one's intrinsic worth, nurturing personal growth, and prioritizing one's physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Self-love involves practicing self-care activities, setting healthy boundaries, and treating oneself with kindness and forgiveness. It encourages individuals to embrace their

strengths, accept their flaws, and celebrate their unique qualities. Self-love acts as a foundation for overall well-being, empowering individuals to cultivate healthy relationships, make better choices, and lead a fulfilling life.

Agape love, originating from ancient Greek philosophy, represents an altruistic and selfless form of love that goes beyond personal desires and expectations. It is characterized by an unconditional and universal love for all humankind, emphasizing empathy, compassion, and a desire to

compassion, and a desire to contribute to the greater good. Agape love transcends individual interests, seeking the well-being and happiness of others. It is often associated with acts of charity, forgiveness, and acts of kindness directed toward strangers, acquaintances, and even enemies. Agape love encourages individuals to rise above their own interests and connect with the inherent goodness in humanity, fostering unity, empathy, and a sense of shared humanity.

Spiritual love, rooted in religious and philosophical beliefs, the connection

between individuals and a higher power or transcendent reality. It involves a profound sense of awe, reverence, and devotion toward the divine. Spiritual love often manifests in religious practices, rituals, and acts of worship, fostering a sense of unity, purpose, and inner peace. It transcends personal desires and embraces a sense of interconnectedness with the universe and all living beings. Spiritual love encourages individuals to seek enlightenment, cultivate virtues such as compassion and forgiveness, and live a life aligned with their spiritual beliefs.

These different types of love remind us that love is a multifaceted and transformative force that extends beyond the realm of romance, enriching our lives in profound ways.

So this summer, I hope that you don’t look for love like the movies, but look for love that is already in your own reality. In the unhurried moments of summer's embrace, let love's gentle tendrils intertwine with all souls. The result is a tapestry of love that transcends mere romance, celebrating the beauty of human connection in its many forms.

"I hope that you don’t movies, but look for love own reality."

look for love like the love that is already in your reality."

CONTRIBUTORS

WRITERS

Alyssa Fong

Elle Lewis

Gabe Manzana

Rischa Norbel-Taguba

Bea Cuenco

Layla Dargahi

Madalyn Higdon

Donara Balayan

Andrew Balayan

CONTRIBUTORS

DESIGNERS

Andrew Balayan

Cat Mesick

PRODUCTION

"Summer of Love"

Short Film

Written and Directed by

Madalyn Higdon

"Summer of Love"

Produced by Bea Cuenco

CONTRIBUTORS

LA MODE MODELS

Maddie Condra

Kira Hum

Akila Rajesh

Patrick Zhang

Christian Kelly-Garcia

LA MODE PHOTOGRPAHERS

Madalyn Higdon

Bea Cuenco

Akila Rajesh

CONTRIBUTORS

"Summer of Love" CAST

Jackson Tropp

Aykush Tonyan

Jonathan Bernstein

Isabella Edrada

Nina Salazar

DONORS

SPECIAL THANKS TO The Higdon Family

The Condra Family

The Siroonian Family

REFERENCES

American Psychological Association. Approaches to psychotherapy.

Solaris Mental Health. How often should I go to therapy?

Concordia University. Cognitive restructuring examples.

UCLA Health. Partial hospitilization and intensive outpatient programs.

National Library of Medicine. Sunscreen and prevention of skin aging: a randomized trial.

PUBLISHED by COMMON JOIE

© Common Joie. 2023. For permission to any article, image, or other visual in this magazine, contact commonjoie@gmail.com