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Alchemy (n): a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination. 04

MOTION 12

Welcome to Common Joie’s Autumn 2023 Edition, Alchemy. Autumn is here and we are thrilled for you to bask in this season’s most special moments. From the brisk, dewy morning, to notes of cardamom and clove in a freshly brewed coffee, we encourage you to remain intentional this autumn as her hues of red and yellow are not everlasting. Enjoy the transformation of not only the season, but of yourself. Although autumn’s leaves are not everlasting, we are

everchanging.

From the Common Joie team, we wish you a happy autumn. Till winter and with Joie, CJ.

FRESHEN UP 22

LA MODE 36

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MENTAL HEALTH 70

POEM: YOU ARE NOT WHO YOU WERE YESTERDAY 74

SPIRITUALITY 84 02

CONTRIBUTORS

How to Alchemize Your Emotions as Fuel for Creative Power “Emotions, what emotions?” Something I never heard growing up as a child of immigrants but now normalize and affirm every single day, “Emotions are ok.” They are more than ok. In fact, we need them. My father once told me that he didn’t “need his emotions” after I brought him to a sensory deprivation tank experience. What a thought! I completely disagree, but I wish I had questioned him more about it then. Frankly I was so shocked by his comment and ill-equipped at the time to respond, or to even know where to begin to have that conversation with him in a gentle way. Perhaps he was very uncomfortable with what was coming up for him after floating in a dark void for 45 minutes, without any tools to understand. The experience is a trip if you’ve never experienced a float tank before. Looking back, why didn’t I prepare my poor dad in the way that I yearned to be prepared for in a situation like that? I guess I thought it would be a weird and fun thing to try. I regret missing that opportunity for conversation now, as I’ve always yearned to connect more deeply with my parents. I have always felt such a cultural clash and disconnect between them and my experience as an enraged, hormonal, and emotional body. How many times have you heard this: “Growing up Chinese, 04 04

By Janet Lo we never talked about our emotions.” Blah, blah, blah. I always resented that. It was painful to hear that others like me experienced the same lack of tools and resources for what seemed to be a different world and time that we grew up in. When shame is used as a parenting tool, it creates some really frightened and shut down children. Let alone adults that know how to self-regulate and behave independently with agency and responsibility. Sure, I can see how it helped shape a certain type of oppressive society where everyone had their “roles” to fulfill in order to keep the illusion of control under wraps for power hungry political leadership. Though, I believe there’s much more to life than just surviving under someone else’s control and power. Point blank: I am human, I feel things. Lots of things, and I had to learn to manage it as an adult in ways that made me feel all alone in my process because it felt as though I had to unlearn a lot of my conditioning and open myself up to possibilities. I had to learn how to un-shame my process of coming into my own identity, finding my own voice, and learning to listen to my body’s wisdom. And boy do they have wisdom! As I get older, I realize that there really are only two choices in life with every05 05

thing you do. Either you move towards fear and shut down (often with the intention of preventing pain). Or you can choose to move towards love and open yourself up to growth and the endless possibilities of transformation. Even our bodies mimic this duality in movement with contractions and expansions. But one cannot move towards anything without the impetus of emotional energy to help guide our way. I’ve now come to realize that Emotions plus Hormones equals pure power, hence why they call it “riding the dragon” if you’re fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to get in its path. I often didn’t know what to do with all my emotional energy. This energy was usually anger, annoyance, frustration, disappointment, fear -- and other dark, shadowy stuff no one really knows how to deal with, talks about, or gets shamed for expressing in public (or in a chaotic home). I had to learn as an adult how to un-shame that process of allowing them to breathe, in order to survive and co-create new environments to thrive in that are more aware, just, empathetic, compassionate, and kind. And I learned this all through movement, specifically learning how to move my body. Wouldn’t ya know? I focus a lot of my embodiment work on balancing the sensual power of feminine energy. I’ve turned towards what was once shunned and feared, and I have been fascinated at my own healing journey into womanhood. Perhaps it is part of this greater call in my ancestry to heal the path of the dreadful one child policy. Where Chinese girls were once born inherently unworthy. That pain and torment is still in our bones, and the intergenerational trauma that was passed on from my great great grandmothers and their mothers also brings about a certain kind of inherited resiliency. But this kind of work also applies to anyone who’s ever felt oppressed, suppressed, or shamed into a ball for feeling anything. Because when we spend most of our energy fighting against our feelings or denying them, they will creep up and find a way out somehow. The law of conservation of energy states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed - only converted from one form of energy to another.” Thus, it must be moved. Channelled, Transmuted, Alchemized, Harnessed, Expressed. As a creative person, this is pure power. Just think about how much energy it takes to deny or fight against something. You must exert an equal amount or greater force in order to stop the flow of something. So 06

wouldn’t it benefit us more to lean into it, learn to ride it, and move through it? Like a river; let it flow. But how? So here is what I have learned up to now about what emotions are and how to move through energy patterns as an embodiment coach: Emotions are pure energy - meaning: they’re a type of fuel for life, when wielded with intention. Emotional energy is pure magic. No wonder people are scared of it! Emotional alchemy is energy in motion. This idea addresses how to work with our emotions instead of against them. That I don’t need to “control,” stop, deny, or fight my emotions (as if I could). Could it be that those who try to control their emotions, simply don’t know what to do with them? Do those who shame emotions in others have a history of being shamed for expressing their feelings? Or do they simply not know that they are shaming (internally oppressing) the part of themselves that they didn’t understand? Emotions tell us what’s important to us. Emotions tell me what to pay attention to and what is important to me (which can be especially helpful for neurodivergent minds). Emotions hold the beautiful wisdom of our bodily experiences and they help us process our bodily experiences. Emotions help us experience love: the depth, ache, and yearning parts of the unseen. They can move us towards it, or away from it. Learning to feel, name, and honor our bodily experiences will help us experience deep love, compassion, and empathy towards ourselves and, in turn, with each other in the short amount of time that we each have on this earth. Emotions are like beautiful weather patterns. They are nuanced, rich in depth and capacity. They can come and go and connect me to the non-linear cycles of life and patterns of growth (expansion or contraction). Sometimes I need to hu07

nker down and wait out the storm, and sometimes I can go out and dance in the rain. Emotions come in many shapes, colors, textures, and overlapping hot messes that are sometimes hard to explain or put words to. Emotions are messengers from Divine Source. Once I learn to trust the whispers of my body, my emotions can guide more of my decision making processes over the stories of my critical mind. If we turn towards our inner child and tend to the parts that we didn’t know how to process at a previous time, we can use that hurt and pain to create with as adults. Because this is the juicy stuff. This is the stuff that connects us to one another, that builds intimacy through raw vulnerability. Your most powerful source of creative power comes from within. And there’s one big mystery that everyone is trying to solve: What do we “do” with all this energy? When it’s on the darker, heavier side of the emotions wheel like your dark shadowy energy, can that evolve into a rebellion or revolution? Or noticing the power of your lighter, more buoyant energy – like joy, surprise, fun, curiosity, courage, warmth, giddiness or silliness. What kind of impact do you have in sharing those feelings? When you acknowledge and honor your feelings, they get to be expressed and pass in flow. By acknowledging and honoring feelings, you can use them to move through the pain and hurt. You can create, express, let it air out and breathe. The more you work with your emotions, the more you will get to know yourself: your likes, dislikes, boundaries, how you want to love and be loved, how you see the world, etc.

The more you build up your empathy and compassion muscles to increase your capacity to give and receive, the more you will open up yourself to the world. And the more the world will respond to you in your wholeness. It’s your unique lens in which you see the world. After all, isn’t that what being an artist means? Someone with a unique voice, who wields their courage to share vulnerability and the truth of what they perceive in the world. Someone who is self-aware of their own embodied experiences and boundaries as an artist, who can mirror back life to others, however you choose to platform yourself. So why not learn to share your full authenticity and truth by harnessing their power to your full advantage as a creative practice? Emotional connection is what everyone is often seeking in order to build trust, respect, and love. Imagine being intentional and mindful with everything you do. Oh, the power and magic you will create.

“By acknowledging and honoring feelings, you can use them to move through the pain and hurt.”

Master Your Ink: Preparing for Your Next Tattoo

By Maeve Driskill

So, you’re in the market for a tattoo! Whether it’s your first tattoo, a desire to be more prepared for your next piece, or an interest in learning more about getting inked, this article is for you. Getting a new tattoo can be magical, and it’s all about agency. From the moment you decide to get tattooed to the moment the piece is healed, everything is your decision and (more or less) yours alone. After all, it’s nobody’s body but your own. In the next pages, I hope to help you prepare for some of the basics of a tattoo appointment, such as the booking process, physical and mental preparedness, typical artist procedure, and aftercare.

As someone with over 30 tattoos, my recommendation (especially for people who plan on getting multiple tattoos in the future) is always to focus more on choosing a tattoo style (fine linework, American traditional, new school, etc.), in addition to finding a good shop or artist. With the convenience of the internet and the constantly evolving field of tattoo artistry, it has never been easier to find an art style that interests you. Finding good shops and artists may take time, but social media and personal recommendations are fantastic places to start. Most artists welcome communication before the tattoo, usually over email or in person by appointment.

Before we start, it’s important to note that there’s no ‘right’ way to approach a tattoo. Some folks choose the elements or style of their piece first, then pick a placement and an artist. Others find an artist they like, then choose a design within that artist’s style or capabilities. Many people switch up their booking process with each tattoo. In any case, the most important things to keep in mind are respect and understanding for the artist and the process, as well as for yourself. There’s no shame in picking a simple image that you found online for inspiration, but tattooing is an art form. Be open to updating or personalizing the design, either by yourself or with the artist. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, make adjustments, and ensure you’re getting a piece that feels special to you. The most common roadblock I see in people who want, but have not yet committed to, a tattoo is getting too caught up in the details of the piece itself: choosing the “perfect first tattoo.” 12

Now that you’ve picked an artist, settled on your design, and started the process of booking an appointment, it’s time to talk logistics. Regardless of whether you want a tiny tat that’s easy to cover or a multi-session piece, no one knows your body and your boundaries better than you do. For example, if you’re prone to physical exhaustion, consider doing some meal prep for before and after the tattoo, using a numbing cream, or taking off work the day of the tattoo and the day after. If your appointment is more than an hour, or you will be stuck in a weird position (like lying face down for a lower back tattoo), make a plan for taking breaks. During the appointment, you might not need them, or you might need more than anticipated, so it helps to be prepared. Don’t be afraid to bring a whole backpack or tote. First, the “God Knows When You Don’t Tip” button on your Ninja Turtles tote bag totally lets all the artists 13 13

know you’re cool. Second, and probably more importantly, ensuring your comfort during an objectively uncomfortable experience is essential. I recommend bringing a snack, a water bottle, and a sweatshirt or other layer (which I usually end up using as a pillow). Especially for certain tattoo placements, consider asking the artist beforehand if they have cushions to help prop you up comfortably. Dress in loose clothing, and make sure the spot where your tattoo is going is easily accessible. Optionally, you can also bring headphones, something to watch or read, a hair tie, a stress ball or stim toy, and anything else that can help ground your sensory experience. Prepare to experience some physical discomfort for the duration of your appointment and probably 2-14 days after, depending on the size, location, and composition of your tattoo. This discomfort can range from feeling like an itch or a bruise to a scratch or a sunburn. If you have sensitive skin or specific sensory needs, communicate with your artist beforehand if you have concerns or questions about the process, such as if they have access to latex-free gloves, or what brands of ink, soap, and ointment they use. Most artists will also communicate before or during the appointment about things like dermal bandages (like Saniderm, Tegaderm, Second Skin, etc.), adding white highlights, or using sanitary sprays (like Bactine), all of which have the potential to alter your sensory experience. Once again, you know your body best, and your experience in the tattoo environment is as conditional as your consent. You found an artist, chose a design, and now there’s a new piece of art on your body forever (at least probably, barring tattoo removal or amputation). If you’ve ever been injured, sick, or fatigued, tattoo recovery is pretty much the same game. You might want to have a friend drive you home, take it easy on the physical labor, and continue wearing loose-fitting clothing. If you want to be extra nice to yourself, prepare in advance with clean sheets, fresh pajamas, and some of your favorite foods. At the very least, recovery requires unscented antibacterial soap (such as Dr. Bronner’s baby unscented liquid soap or Dial antibacterial hand soap) and some sort of moisturizing ointment or balm (such as Badger Tattoo Balm, Original Badger Balm, shea butter, or Aquaphor). To the best of your ability, follow the aftercare instructions provided to you by your tattooist; if they give you a physical copy, consider putting it somewhere you will see regularly, like your bathroom mirror or shower door. These instructions 14 14

usually involve washing the area a few times a day and moisturizing with an ointment or unscented lotion once it starts to scab. If you are given any sort of bandage, consult with your artist about when and how to remove it. Now you’re ready to go out there and slay your tattoo appointment! If any of this made you more nervous, try taking the leap with a tiny piece to get the anticipation out of the way. You might be braver and stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for. Plus, every part of getting a professional tattoo is designed to ensure the comfort and safety of both canvas and artist as much as possible. In conclusion: stay informed, get inked!

“Don’t be afraid to ask questions, make adjustments, and ensure you’re getting a piece that feels special to you.”

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My Face Is For Me! My Face Is For Me? By Layla D. Begging my mom to let me put on mascara before school was a daily ritual in 7th grade. Phrases such as “My eyes look naked without it”, “Everyone else is wearing mascara now,” and “It’s not a big deal! It’s self-expression!” were thrown as offense in the never ending battle. The resolution being that I was allowed to wear mascara every other day to school, with my mom checking fervently the first couple months before we stepped out the door. She would see my clumpy, thickly coated lashes as the new norm, unwittingly allowing me to slip past her every day with a thick layer over my eyes for the rest of that school year. Makeup is a form of self-expression that has seemed to traverse culture, space, and time. There’s proof of kohl eyeliner dating back thousands of years, and current experimental and artistic makeup forms are only getting more and more creative. Yes, trends may ebb and flow; black eyeliner all around the eyes, micro thin eyebrows, very thick eyebrows, bold red lip, pale nude lip, and everything in between. But makeup has always been argued as a form of self-expression, and in more recent years, as self care. Some people will claim that they cannot leave the house without a bit of blush on, or a full face painted beautifully to the nines with a nice set of faux eyelashes and a gloss to finish off. Such as my mother, who feels utterly naked and like a different person without a swipe of dark brick red lipstick on, a trait that has been swiftly passed onto me. There’s so much beauty in makeup – no pun intended. But there seems to be, at least in my life and in the lives of those I have observed around me, a darker undertone to this everyday practice. It is a continually growing topic of conversation, as many people debate: Is wearing makeup for you? Or for the validation of others? There are noticeable patterns to this argument. When someone wears 1818

a perceptible amount of makeup, no matter how good it looks, there is the usual assumption that they are wearing that amount of makeup to garner the attention of others. In some cases, it is presumed the attention they are looking to attract is sexually motivated. We have seen this trope over and over again with women in media, specifically movies, TV shows, and reality TV, being looked down upon or trivialized for wearing an excessive amount of makeup as it assumes she is merely looking for the quickest way to please a man. However when someone, (usually who is female presenting), decides to go bare face completely, they are criticized for not looking “presentable” in public and for “letting themselves go.” Many of us, including our mothers, aunts, friends, and grandmothers, have received this criticism or have worried about receiving it from others, even if it goes unsaid. But, when the criticism can only be left up to interpretation, then the disapproving stare causes ripples of self-doubt and symbolizes much more than a critique that could actually be proven as intentional. It’s the age-old conflict that women and femme-presenting people have to face: their appearance is up for discussion, critique or praise, by everyone around them. They have to accept it with dignity and grace, making the physical changes others deem necessary for self-improvement. Or they have to humbly accept the praise as if it’s of the highest honor. So, what rules are we expected to follow with these conflicting messages? And why do there have to be unsaid rules on something that only affects the person wearing makeup and expressing themselves? Is makeup a relationship and expression that is truly for ourselves and ourselves only? I would like to think in an ideal world, everyone can express what they want without any judgment whatsoever. However, as we all know, this is far from an 1919

ideal world. In a society that undeniably places value on outward appearance, it can feel confusing whether your physical expression is truly representative of yourself, or a disguise for your efforts to meet the physical expectations around you. All this analysis leaves me asking myself, is it worth the mental energy to always wonder whether the face I put on that day is for me or others? I am the type of person that goes through a variety of phases throughout my life which dictate the amount of makeup I wear on my face. I have yet to fully be able to conclude whether the periods of daily makeup-wearing are for me or for the attention of others. I would like to believe that I decide whether and how to paint up my face based on my mood. However, even if I subconsciously decide to wear makeup as a result of an external societal pressure, it is a decision I fully make, which gives me a bit of solace for the time being. As long as I feel good in my skin stepping out for the day, does it truly matter who my makeup was intended to please?

“...the disapproving stare causes ripples of selfdoubt and symbolizes much more than a critique that could actually be proven as intentional.”

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Autumn Fashion: Casual Opulence

By Gabrielle Lewis

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Autumn in California is contradictory, but it feels good to be on the edge of two extremes. And when it comes to fashion, it is the same mindset. I love to mix items that seemingly do not go together to form a cohesive theme. This season, I’m feeling rebirth, nostalgia, and maturity. Our past choices are essential to thinking about our future which is evident in our choice of past pieces. Our color palette for the 2023 fall season is faded black, cream, light tan, champagne, black, and silver. This year, I’m obsessed with big bold silver accessories like herringbone necklaces, big chunky earrings, and even shoes. Silver is associated with the moon’s energy. It symbolizes strength, transparency, and clarity. Silver can look like a mirror, and it is refreshing like a breath of fresh air when combined with patterns, or even when mixing metals in an autumn wardrobe (e.g. Iron and silver, silver and rose gold). Long skirts have been on the precipice of being “in” for the last twenty years. This season, we’re upping the ante. Denim maxi is OUT, and quality tailored skirts are IN. Think, sleek satin down to your feet, and pleated wool that sits at half calf. Skirts should show off your waist, and a little bit of ankle, be it in a slit or a midi length. Outerwear this fall is modest in covering, and exuberant in design. I’ve been following Taylor Russell and her love affair with a good trench coat. Russell has been seen rocking tan trenches and black trenches all around town. To get the look, find a floor-length, lightweight trench and pair it with a mini skirt, straight-neck tee, and jet-black boots with heels. Pair a black trench coat with American blue jeans, a scarf, a baseball hat, and crisp white lifestyle sneakers to give off a Jennifer Lawrence-inspired look. Lawrence was spotted wearing a heavy black trench walking her dogs this past August. Trench coats are perfect for a simple covering to show your elegance, and can hide an even more revealing outfit underneath. The duality of the modesty and sexuality of the trench coat is what keeps bringing it to the forefront of fashion each decade. A leather coat is always a great transitional piece; Try to find one that is worn in and soft enough to ball up and throw in the back of a car. Remember, this season is all about opulence without care. Blazers are simmering in the background of our trends this season, with a twist from the last season of workplace night at2424

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tire. Grab a fitted blazer that’s longer than your torso, covering your backside, and pair it with a black pleated midi skirt for a perfect and easy cocktail look. Cropped blazers are OUT. Tailored pants are essential to an easily polished wardrobe. I love natural-waist pleat-front pants because they’re great for casual or upscale dressing. Try them with a band tee tucked in the back but untucked in the front to give the appearance of an elongated torso. You can pair them with a straight-neck sleeveless tee and heels for a fashionable upgrade. Pro tip: Don’t forget a quality belt in a matching shade. Black slacks are also great for applications like these, and they stop you from always going with the same tired jeans. The basic jeans and tee looks are OUT this season. She, He, and They, are ALL wearing dresses when they can; Why? It’s the fashion guru’s cheat item. A dress is easy to style and doesn’t take much to assemble. This autumn, I love a variation of the satin/silk slip dress of 2018, now paired with ballet sweater sleeves or a collar underneath. Ballet flats make sense here, as do those summer sandals and heels from last season. The art of not caring when putting together pieces will get you far here, as the quality of the items will speak for themselves. A sleeveless drop waist dress from 2002 can be revamped with the addition of a black button-up underneath, sheer black tights, and ballet flats. The most important thing to remember when looking for quality pieces for your wardrobe is material and care. Look for pieces labeled 100% silk, wool, etc., research designers, and feel the weight of the fabric to ascertain the quality while shopping. When we take deep care of our clothes, they last us decades. The perfect trench you find today should be the same one you bring out in ten years because fashion is a circle. Take this guide with you to the thrift stores, outlet malls, and shopping centers, find pieces that last a lifetime, and show off your autumn opulence, casually.

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“Outerwear this fall is modest in covering, and exuberant in design.”

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I use wish filled eyelashes as seeds And bury my desires deep I offer my heart to the sky And cheat on her with the ocean Until hurricanes baptize my soil What births is fragmented hope with thorns. I laugh at my hope and wear it like a crown I rub my scalp with rosemary oil Roots crawl down my neck Wildflowers grow on my prefrontal cortex. I wonder what would happen if I told the truth Instead of burying it under metaphors and seduction Like I knew I was beautiful before I knew I was smart Or when I look in the mirror, I see my failures spread out like water droplets. I wish I could crawl into the looking glass So I can finally look back at myself. 36 36

Poem by Savy F.R. Elahian 37 37

Time to Spice Things Up

By Andrew Balayan

Crisp, cozy, rainy days are here. The autumn sun is cooler, and early mornings are chilly. While waking, a spiced coffee awaits on the dimly-lit kitchen counter. It’s the best part of the day. Each sip allows us to romanticize autumn even more than we already have, and this romanticization is what makes this season magical. You see, living in a warmer climate year-round can make it difficult to enjoy autumn, but it’s certainly not impossible. We must rely on the feeling that this time of year brings forth. Creating a sense of coziness through baking autumnal treats and decorating the home with festive adornments is a great way to invite the season’s colors and scents into our homes. It does not need to be cold out to feel like autumn has arrived, because autumn is a state of mind -- a sense of being. For me, it is this season when I reflect upon the former half of the year, and dream of how I want to write the next three months.

as they can burn if baked for too long. Allow for the pecans to properly cool. You will hear crackling noises from the pecans and that’s ok, they’re just all warm and toasty. Once cooled, place in a food processor. You can add cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, or cardamom if you’re aiming for a spiced-pecan butter. I typically don’t add any spices because I think the pecans speak for themselves. Blend, blend, blend. You’ll need to turn off the food processor to scrape down the sides a few times, but remain patient. This process should take no longer than 10 minutes. You will visibly see the change from a sandy-like consistency to butter. It will also change in color to a beautiful rich, dark brown. Place in tupperware and leave in the fridge. It should last 7-10 days. You can put some of the pecan butter on toasted sourdough. For breakfast, crumble some cottage cheese or spread yogurt on top of the butter. It’s absolutely delicious and so nourishing! You can also incorporate your pecan butter into overnight oats simply by placing the butter on top of the oats before adding the hot water. Add the water then stir gently. Place in the fridge for a cool and delicious oat breakfast.

I have curated a few autumnal recipes that I think you’ll love. Not only because they taste delicious (I may be biased), but because the act of creating these treats is part of the season’s magic. The first recipe is pecan butter. Pecans are incredibly fragrant when roasted in the oven. When the scent fills up your kitchen, all you want to do is continue baking whilst drinking a warm chai latte. It creates a space to feel cozy, as if you just stepped into a Vermont bakery in mid-October.

The ritual of making and drinking coffee in the morning is one that I hold onto dearly. It is the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thought of my day before I lay my head to rest. For me, coffee is about feeling joy, bringing people together, and enjoying each sip with gratitude. It is more than a beverage; it is an experience.

All you need for pecan butter are pecans, and more pecans. Roast in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 7-10 minutes, but make sure you keep an eye on

When autumn rolls around, I make spiced cold brews. You can use a variety of spices, but I usually go for cinnamon, cardamom, and clove. However, pumpkin

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pie spice offers these spices in a single jar, so it may be easier to use that instead. Pumpkin pie spice, in addition to the common blend of spices for the season, includes lemon peel, fennel, and black pepper, which offers a unique taste to the palette and makes it a bit more versatile!

I hope this autumn brings you a coziness like no other. Bake, taste, and relish in the season’s moments, for autumn will lay to rest sooner than you think.

The spiced cold brew offers an experience like no other. Each spice brings out the various notes of the coffee and it offers a new flavor profile whilst maintaining its structural integrity. It’s warm, cozy, and nostalgic. The act of drinking spiced coffee can further aid in the romanticization of autumn, especially if you live in a warmer climate. My go-to as of now is a spiced cold brew with a dash of vanilla almond milk from Malk Organics. It’s creamy, bold, and fragrant - it’s absolutely delicious. I usually have my morning brew with my spiced vegan date bar. The combination is truly unmatched and I recommend it to anyone looking to enhance their autumnal experience this year.

Roast 2 cups of pecans in the oven at 350 degrees Farenheit for 7-8 minutes. Pecans burn easily, so keep an eye every two minutes, stirring the nuts whilst in the oven. Remove and let them cool for 10 minutes. Place in the food processor to blend. Stirring of the pecans in the food processor is part of the transition from a sand-like consistency to butter, so be patient with the process. Stir every 2-3 minutes until you see that butter has formed. Place in tupperware and leave in the fridge to last 1 week. This recipe yields approximately 1 cup (or 1 mason jar) of pecan butter.

Spiced date bars are an easy and delicious snack to make for the season. Each bite is truly scrumptious and the addition of spices make it more so. The base is dates with a nut of your choice. I usually go for walnuts. Optional ingredients are goji berries and pumpkin seeds. These two offer a remarkable crunch, plus they are packed with vitamin A and healthy fats. I then add spices and celtic salt to the mix. The spices I reach for are my pumpkin pie spice and cinnamon. I’ll sometimes throw in a couple loose cardamom tea leaves for a bit of kick. Blend it up for roughly 20 seconds until the mixture has turned nearly homogenous. You want to keep the integrity of each ingredient, so keep an eye out when blending! I then transport the yummy bars-to-be in a mold. Simply grab a couple pinches and place into a mold of your choice. Place in the freezer to enjoy the next morning! It will hold its shape and it is so easy to take anywhere!

Recipe and Directions for Spiced Coffee:

Granola is a snack adored by many. The crunch, texture, and chunks bring a smile to my face. But, a spiced granola is unmatched. I include the same spices I use in my spiced cold brew recipe in the spiced granola. This recipe is also vegan, as I use maple syrup as the binding agent. The warmth and toastiness of the maple syrup further establishes the granola’s flavor profile. I will also add nuts, usually walnuts, but you can add any of your choice. Celtic salt, a dash of coffee grounds, and my spices are the secret to a delicious spiced granola. 40 40

Recipe and Directions for Pecan Butter:

For cold brew, add 1 tsp cinnamon, 1 tsp pumpkin pie spice, and 0.5 tsp of cardamom (optional) to ground coffee. Pour water in a french press with the ground coffee or in a cold brew maker if you have one. Stir, then place in the fridge overnight.

Recipe and Directions for Spiced Granola: 2 cups oats 1/2 cup nut of choice 1/2 cup maple syrup 1 cup olive oil 2 teaspoons cinnamon 2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice 1 teaspoon celtic salt (or table salt)

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Preheat oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit. Add oats, nuts, spices, and salt to a large bowl. Mix dry ingredients. In a separate bowl, mix to combine olive oil and maple syrup. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry, stir to combine. Place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Place in the oven for 30 minutes. Remove the granola to gently stir then pat down. Place back into the oven for an additional 10 minutes. Remove to let cool for 45 minutes to 1 hour. The cooling process will produce granola chunks.

Recipe and Directions for Spiced Vegan Dates: 14 dates ½ cup nuts of choice 2 tsp cinnamon 2 tsp pumpkin pie spice 1 tsp celtic salt In a food processor, combine all ingredients until nearly homogenous. Pack combined ingredients into a rectangular, 6-mold tray. Place in the freezer to enjoy the next morning. This recipe yields 6 spiced vegan date bars.

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Two butterflies playing tag above a lone pine. Every glide follows stream Where guidance takes shape as Clouds in familiar colors.

Poem by Kira Hum

Comfort sustains each billow until Silence folds into white water Unwillingly. One strike to mark another dawn when Discourse draws an Ace and Blue falls short of breath. Forgiveness retreats into a rubber eraser Against a wooden carving. In tandem, On course, Still In the same place. The wind of refusal Echoes at the same speed from Opposite ends of a circle. Not one single word Pertaining to the distance between. Fixated on the distance ahead. 46 46

The Roots That Bind Gender, Hair, and Me

By Savy F.R. Elahian

For Black women, hair is sacred. And in my family, hair is honest. It was a reflection of our needs at any moment. Most of my life my mother had a short, cropped haircut. She has tiny russet-colored spring-like curls from her kitchen to her edges. My mother’s short hair was shaped by comforting beauty, ease within chaos, and our hairdresser Robin. Growing up my hair went from a baby fro, to a long flowing security blanket, to a shoulder length bob with the occasional bangs for protection. By the time I entered adulthood, I grew accustomed to the desirability of long hair. I learned to flirt through my ringlets and I had grown men yearning to get lost in my soft ribbons. I was a shapeshifter masquerading as a siren, and my hair was the vessel to capture my prey.

had turned into jaws eating up any sense of comfort I found in femininity. I felt disconnected from Western gender norms, becoming a gender anarchist. I wore durags, button downs, chains - along with my hoops and lip gloss - finding sensuality in my androgyny.

In the Fall of 2020, I was in my first year of graduate school, I had recently lost my grandfather, and I was of course dealing with a life-shifting pandemic. Between microeconomics and burying my grandfather, I was off-balance and could no longer recognize myself. My hair practically flew away, and change found me. I had a buzz cut that lifted my shoulders. During that time, I also stopped using my legal name in most settings, began dressing more androgynously, and explored new genders physically and mentally. By this time, I was already secure in my lesbianism. However, my gender itched with uncertainty. Forever shapeshifting, I became a historian - diving into the formulation of gender, discovering how it was manufactured using the bodies of Black people without their consent. The pink picket fence I grew up with 48 48

As I was beginning to feel comfortable with myself again, my hair grew. With new growth, my strict desire for masculinity softened and along the way I found misplaced pieces of myself. The newfound comfort in my masc presentation was affirming, and being able to pass in and out of that space was enlightening. The Western concepts of gender that I distrusted became portals I could shift between. Shapeshifting became less about my appearance and more about the vibrations I felt internally. By Summer of 2023, after three years of growth and curly spirals brushing my shoulder, a familiar dizziness fell over me. Out of graduate school, the world has only become more convoluted. Broken hearts galore and more loss came with new friendships and deeper laughs. At the ripe age of 26, stability still feels like a slippery friend I am missing. Desiring softness I cut my hair again, but this time felt different. With this fresh cut I am exploring my freedom in femininity. Masculinity and femininity have become perpendicular streets I live between. The new home within myself is still evolving, but there are windchimes that sing and the clouds swirl like my curls. Now with my short hair, I am wearing makeup and daint necklaces. The newfound comfort in my femininity feels

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radical against my skin. The ways I used to dress for men, I no longer hold inside me. The long hair that men would beg me not to cut off, now is a soft pixie - fairy like and demure. The heels and bodycon dresses that left me dysphoric no longer live in my closet, or in my internal image of beauty. Instead, I have beautiful bright sundresses that make me feel like the center of the solar system. I am forever shifting but now have a deeply understood foundation of self to rely on when stability feels elusive. Surviving in our 20s can be more than difficult. Instead of grasping for stability, I have learned to flow with the waves of unknowing. And as new self-discoveries arise, I try to treat myself with curiosity instead of judgment. There is power in my hair regardless of the length. I learned to shapeshift fluidly and discovered gender as spaces I choose to occupy instead of structures that force me to behave. Stability may not be a rock to keep me planted on the earth, but a breeze to keep me in flight. I am learning to mold the resiliency within, as the legacy of my people is deeply rooted in my core. Reinventing their visions of freedom into my own is the closest I have come to finding peace.

This article is dedicated to Mohammad Elahian. His hard work and sacrifice allowed me to explore the world with flexibility and freedom.

“The Western concepts of gender that I distrusted became portals I could shift between.”

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Poem by Savy F.R. Elahian

My body is a conversation My body turns sentences into kisses and blood into promisesI have nightmares of letters falling off my backMy stomach aches for ease I crave what I have been taught to fearLessons never spoken My instincts are defense mechanisms That blur her words into hallucinationsThe metaphors collect on my spine Spells imprint on my skinI forget the home at my feet My soles learned to laugh through the pain-

My body is a map My veins are rivers I drain annually My thighs are valleys shaped by soft wind Hurricanes are predicted in my stomach So birds migrate up my throat. She slices my back with blades of grass And finds a weeping willow along my spine My lymph nodes map a lineage on the downcast tree As the floods rise, the tree becomes drunk on sorrows Drowning in memories, History is baptized through reformation. The roots tangle like my fingers in her chains Tomorrow shines on a drying sapling And fear is grateful for existence.

My body is a garden Dandelions slow dance along my curves I am filled with insects when I close my eyes Chrysalis in my stomach breaking for freedom The sun drums on my spine. My shoulders sore like a butterfly’s crumpled wing. My heart beats to the rhythm of windchimes That keep me awake through the night. Sleep is a scarce resource on this landI ration dreams as they flee towards faith Like my grandmother escaping home. 5454

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Poem By Kira Hum I see a face in the Moon tonight. She smiles tenderly. She radiates light. She looks like a dream so vivid in memory But warm in feeling upon sight. I wait for the right moment to share my praise, The awe of beauty in all her ways, But it never comes. I face the Moon again revered, But my silence disdains. She wallows in drear. She turns her shoulder to hide her fear. She hides from the whispers she overhears. She fears her deserts and craters reveal Too much of the dissonance she constantly feels. She loathes every piece of her surface that shows– Something she wishes the world may never know, So they don’t.

I watch the Moon struggle to decide. She looks cold and gray. She feels empty inside. She blinks four times and takes a deep breath. The ritual is working. Those feelings subside. She allows her face to reclaim her space. She seems different now. She grew a new wrinkle above her brow, Moving slower at her own pace With the slightest piece of her smile erased. But all through the night, The Moon still shines bright Because she doesn’t have a choice. I see a face in the Moon tonight. Something I will remember tomorrow.

I plead for the Moon to face me once more. I’m sorry I was so quiet before.

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I’m Only 23

Alyssa Fong

When we’re kids, we reach for the sky. We jump from one branch to another, hoisting our little bodies up tree branches and praying that someday, soon, we’ll be big enough to go higher. In 4th grade, we can’t wait for 5th grade, and then 6th becomes 7th. Suddenly, we’re in high school, college, dreaming of the next leap into a comfortable unknown. It’s a blur of swim meets, grammar tests, and Hollister shorts. It’s time spent anxiously waiting for the next thing to happen to us, with little appreciation for the now. Our lives are a clothing line of big moments, taking for granted the space between them and the twine holding it all together. When I was young I yearned to go further, to be older, even though I could barely see two feet in front of me. I thought of field trips and Snapchat stories and the endurance of my six-month relationship.

But you shouldn’t be writing this article! You’re only 23! When you’re 23, the pervasive demands of adulthood begin to pull the rug out from under you. And for the first time, in ways big and small, you start to realize that life is ephemeral. Gone are the deadlines, friend group drama, and final exams — this is the cusp of adulthood, and it’s pulling me in headfirst. I’m caught between what I’m too old for and what I’m too young for, with no experience being distinctly quintessential for this new phase of life. I’m too old to be left out of a clique and too young to think about end-of-life care for my parents — but both have happened anyway. My relatives are dying, my friends are moving away, and I have every mental health issue in the book — but God forbid I fail to don my classic fake smile for corporate America. For the first time ever, I can do whatever the fuck I want. Even if I choose to play by the rules, that doesn’t mean my friends will. And there are the things that have nothing to do with being 23 at all, and more with being 23 today. As a pandemic survivor tasked with fostering a habitable climate amidst crippling inflation, I’ve got the foreboding sense that things won’t get better within my lifetime.

The thing no one tells you about adulthood is that growing up is both a bang and a whimper. It’s the police report, the eviction, the cancer diagnosis, that shatters your world and reminds you that your little slices of happiness — the family brunches, beach days, and 2 a.m. drives — are nothing but forgettable, terminable moments in time. But getting older is also an enduring factor of everyday life. It’s there when you go to the eye doctor and he tells you that he’s this close to prescribing two pairs of glasses, and you know what’s coming to you because your dad has four. It’s in every probing question of, “When are you and your boyfriend going to get married?,” even though you both look sixteen and haven’t quite figured out how to use the toaster. There aren’t grade levels, milestones, or rites of passage once you reach a certain age. Growing up is shedding the naïveté of the younger you who could live forever, replacing it with the sobering reality of being alive.

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At 23, my life has been both the calm and the storm. I live a picturesque young professional’s dream, augmented by my shining Joneses family and the curated travel content posted daily on my Instagram. Though I’m grateful for my privileged life, you’d never see the inner realities at first glance — the hospitalizations, the everlasting stages of grief, the hyperfocused dependency on people and things. What little is left of my energy is spent trying to morph my being into the little white lies I tell. Even those who love me most can’t see past every “I’m doing okay!” 65 65

And the thing is, I don’t think these experiences are unique to me at all. Nobody knows how to be my age, plain and simple. And we’re so young. And we’ll never look better. Never be healthier. Never have more time, more agency, than we do now. And yet, all of this will soon come to an end. How do you cope knowing you have so much, and so little, all at once? Now and every moment onward, I’ll want this time back. At 65, I’ll yearn to be 23 again, to be refreshingly new to everything that life has to offer. I’ll want to look like this again, have the energy to walk, run, swim, lift weights. It adds a weird sense of pressure to make the most of the present, though my anxiety is calling me to do anything but. I have the dream job, the picture-perfect family, and the biggest smile. I have more than 20 friends who would call me for four hours at the drop of a hat – and the travel money to sightsee in the cities they live in whenever I’d like (This year alone, I’ve unintentionally traveled to the city of each and every Gordon Ramsay’s Fish & Chips). At 65, I’ll wonder why I wasn’t happy at 23, despite having so much to be grateful for. I used to think enjoying the present, and making the most of what you have, was but a lofty goal — the marker of mental maturity. Now, I’ve realized it’s a coping mechanism. When your time on Earth is decreasing by the day, the only rational thing to do is to live in the moment. It’s not that you should, but you have to be grateful for everything you have when it will someday be gone. So, let this reflection serve as a time capsule, an ode to the brokenness of my “hottest years.” When I’m older, and peruse the Common Joie Autumn 2023 edition on my walk down memory lane, who knows what I’ll think.

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“When you’re 23, the pervasive demands of adulthood begin to pull the rug out from under you.”

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Don’t look back! You just might see A remnant of the person That you used to be. Don’t touch them, Don’t feed them. Just let them linger, Only for a bit. Before the person you’ll become Catches sight of the intruder.

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Hymn for the Natural World “I would sooner paint people’s eyes than cathedrals…” We are surrounded by sacred energy. Beyond the biblical sense, there is holiness in the connections that we have with each other. The connections that we cherish most. Eyes are soul-portals for a reason. As important as our connections with our fellow humans are, we are limiting ourselves when we focus solely on those relationships. Having a relationship with anything that has life coursing through it is important to our spiritual development. Roly polys and Redwoods alike deserve our care and attention in the way that our friends do. They are not merely background objects that serve us in the human ecosystem; they are their own life forces that deserve respect and care. Vincent Van Gogh saw a spiritual force in people’s eyes, and I see a spiritual force in Nature. Nature’s divinity calls to me, yearning for a connection that nourishes it as much as it nourishes me. I believe the single greatest influence that has damaged our relationship with nature as a people is Capitalism. When exploitation is at the foundation of the way we engage with the world, natural resources continually get taken without any intention of being returned or re-cultivated. How can we possibly live on a planet where all we do is take, and take, and take, until there is nothing left? This disconnect is palpable and I have only grown a stronger desire to reconnect as I have grown older. 74 74

By Cat Mesick I have always experienced sanctity when immersed in Nature, but I never thought about the importance of developing a relationship with it until the past few years. Our ancestors understood the importance of this natural tie, as is evident by the number of rituals and symbolism recorded throughout human history, cross-culturally. There is an understanding that Nature’s influence on our lives is vast, that Nature is not ours to claim. Rather, Nature is to be celebrated, feared, and regarded with the utmost tenderness. I am at my happiest when I’m with Nature. So what can I do to return the favor to Her? Having a relationship with Nature does not have to be intrusive or invasive. Give-and-take isn’t necessary. It is absolutely helpful and encouraged to participate in beach cleanups, or to be mindful of the amount of waste that we produce in order to live a more sustainable life. Events or activities that actively make Nature better than the way it was left before are sure to make Her happy. I can certainly engage in more of those projects, personally. At the fundamental level, though, having a relationship with Nature can be as simple as merely coexisting. Conscious coexistence with Nature can help us see the magic that we take for granted within our day-to-day lives. The next time you want to go on a run at the gym, try running on a trail. Whenever you want to read a book, drive 75 75

or walk to a park instead of staying cooped up. If you’re in the mood to go to a museum, check out an arboretum. Live more of your life outside. In doing so, we can connect to Nature more than we would have otherwise. Connection leads to understanding, and understanding leads to care. I started to appreciate Nature more when I got into hiking during the pandemic. Since gyms were closed, I looked elsewhere. At the height of my regular hiking, I averaged 20 miles per week on the trails. The more I was out there, the more I experienced a peace like no other. I was there just to be. Naturally with time, I started taking a trash bag on hikes so I could pick up any litter that I saw along the way. It was my way of saying “thank you” to the trails that had been so hospitable to me. It was truly the least I could do. I’ve had moments witnessing animals in their natural habitats that I’ll never forget. Once on an early morning hike to beat the heat, I saw a lone coyote frolicking in a pocket of golden sunshine. Upon realizing it had company, it bashfully disappeared into the brush. Another time, I saw a family of deer - a doe and two fawns. The part of the trail that I saw them on was narrow and on a mountain, there wasn’t enough room for myself and the deer to pass. So, I patiently waited for them to make their way up the mountain until they could find a safe area of brush to part ways. I kept my distance and followed them up the trail as they were carefully deciding their next move. I’d like to believe we shared the understanding that we were all just on our merry ways. I’ve seen birds of prey countless times - hawks, vultures, and owls. Each time being just as magnificent as the last. The way that they catch the wind as they glide above me always evokes a sense of awe. Every time I have been outside, I have encountered a new cathedral.

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I see cathedrals in the Moon, its craters filled with knowledge of lifetimes and lightyears that came before us. I see cathedrals in tree leaves that sway in the breeze, eventually changing color and saying “see ya later” to their branches. Only to emerge anew with each passing season. I see cathedrals in ocean waves that crash on rocks, that sleepily roll in when the tide is weak. I see cathedrals in thunderstorms, with lightning bolts that light up the sky, reminding us of the sheer power that natural occurrences possess. I see cathedrals in the Sun when it greets us at sunrise, and bids its farewell at sunset. We don’t need to search far and wide for Nature’s Spirit. All we need to do is wake up and go out into the world with an open heart. And when we can no longer open our eyes, or draw in any more breaths, we will be returned to the embrace of our Mother.

“Nature’s divinity calls to me, yearning for a connection that nourishes it as much as it nourishes me.”

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Creative Direction and Graphic Design Andrew Balayan

Production

Madalyn Higdon

Photographers

Andrew Balayan Akila Rajesh Madalyn Higdon Bea Cuenco Cat Mesick Howell

Writers

Janet Lo Maeve Driskill Layla D. Gabrielle Lewis Andrew Balayan Kira Hum Savy F.R. Elahian Alyssa Fong Cat Mesick

Models

Gabrielle Lewis Andrew Balayan Cat Mesick Madalyn Higdon Savy F.R. Elahian 84

Published by Common Joie. 2023. © For permission to reproduce any article, image, or other visual in this magazine, contact commonjoie@gmail.com. 85