Still Magazine

still minimalistyle

YOUNG, DUMB, BROKE + PRESENT

May 2016

MAY 2018

Is owning less living more?

THE SELFIE

WHAT’S BREWING? Find Your Own

A 2nd Look AYAHUASCA FLOW STATE

Period posse

@periodposse

still MAY 2018

VO L U M E 1 / IS S U E 1

5 EDITORS’ NOTE

Welcome to Still, a guide to mindfulness for the Vancouver millennial.

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Find your bliss with a fishing rod, a nude portrait, and an app to meditate by. Now you’re ready for some life-changing advice on your eating, spending and other habits. By Aidan Mouellic, Freya Wasteneys, Rachel D’Sa, Ekaterina Usmanova, Sierra Holmes, Tia Kutschera Fox

42 NAMASTE

One minute of meditation in class on a regular basis could make your brain more plastic.

That’s good for you, and your grades. By Alicia Neptune

FEATURES 11 MASTERING THE ART OF MINDFUL LIVING

Mental health worker Brandi Matheson has a new approach to mental wellness.

By Alicia Neptune

14 MINIMALISTYLE

One couple trades living space and possessions for mindfulness and freedom.

By Jade O’Toole

17 WARDROBE AWEARNESS

Bringing consciousness to your clothing collection. By Elizabeth Scott

20 #FOMO

How social media is plaguing the millennial mind. By Elizabeth Meek

22 FLOW STATE: GOING WITH THE FLOW & STAGE PRESENCE

An Olympic athlete and a Vancouver musician find power from the flow state.

By Rizalyn Palafox, Rachel D’Sa

26 THE PEACEFUL WARRIOR Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is the unlikely vehicle for actor-musician Rodney DeCroo’s recovery from abuse. By Milana Bucan

30 BENT OUT OF SHAPE

The whitewashing of yoga in Western society needs a closer look. By Ramneet Kang

32 STARVE YOURSELF, FEED YOUR MIND

Three perspectives on fasting. By Tia Kutschera Fox

34 ME, MYSELF AND I

Narcissistic or nuturing? An examination of selfies and self-worth. By Megan Orr

36 THE SILENT TREATMENT

Escaping the busy life and finding peace through Vipassana. By Sierra Holmes

39 WHAT’S BREWING?

Experience the healing benefits of Ayahuasca. By Freya Wasteneys

COVER AND ABOVE: NASH + KIM FINLEY

MAY 2018

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masthead EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Masa Takei CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Catherine Mullaly EDITORS

Tia Kutschera Fox, Megan Orr, Rachel D’Sa COPY EDITORS

Rizalyn Palafox, , Freya Wastenays DISPLAY COPY EDITORS

Ramneet Kang, Jade O’Toole FACT-CHECKING EDITORS

Aidan Mouellic, Stephen Mill ASSISTANT DESIGNER

Joelle Lawrence, Cynthia Vo Still co-editors Tia Kutschera Fox (left) and Megan Orr.

ILLUSTRATORS

Joelle Lawrence, Cynthia Vo MANAGING ART DIRECTORS

Milana Bucan, Alicia Neptune, Elizabeth Scott STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

How to be Still, a magazine for the good, slow life.

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e are thrilled you are reading the very first issue of Still magazine.

So what are we all about? Still began as the idea of “mindfulness for millennials.” While it is an intriguing concept, both the term mindfulness and millennial have very different meanings for different people. It was a challenge to encapsulate something that can be so vast. For us, we felt like an authentic definition of this was about finding stillness in this hectic world, a world filled with the technology and the means to constantly be moving without a second thought.

Hence the name Still.

More than that though, mindfulness is about being kind: to yourself, to others, and to this planet.

So that’s what you’re going to be reading about in this magazine: kindness. Kindness comes in many forms, whether it be meditation, hallucinogens, fishing, or taking selfies, it’s all valid. And the practice can be for as long or short as you like, from taking an extra moment to enjoy your meal to taking a month-long retreat to reflect on your life.

Anyone can experience and benefit from a little more kindness.

Admittedly, this publication didn’t necessarily come to fruition with kindness in mind. It was har-

rowing work. As a nearly entirely student-run project there were certain challenges to be met. Still was not everyone’s first priority; it couldn’t be. As university students we had a dozen other things to be worrying about: finals, papers, paycheques, and relationship woes. However, what came together in the end is something that we are very proud of, although we all took winding paths to get here.

That’s really the point of it all: showing up. It’s not about doing things perfectly, or committing to juice cleanses, or knowing everything, or finding curated images of expert yoga practitioners on the beach (although there’s nothing wrong with a little beach yoga). The most important part of mindfulness is just being here, doing what you can and being proud of it.

Still is intended to encompass what it means to be “Young, Dumb, Broke, and Present.” So take a moment for yourself, take a breath, and dive in.We hope that in reading our magazine you are able to find some stillness and approach the world with a bit more kindness. Thank you.

Ekaterina Usmanova ADVERTISING EDITOR

Elizabeth Meek WRITERS

Milana Bucan, Rachel D’Sa, Ramneet Kang, Tia Kutschera Fox, Sierra Holmes, Elizabeth Meek, Aidan Mouellic, Alicia Neptune, Megan Orr, Jade O’Toole, Rizalyn Palafox, Elizabeth Scott, Ekaterina Usmanova, Freya Wasteneys PUBLISHER

School of Communication Sue Dritmanis, Co-Chair sdritman@capilanou.ca Still is published once a year by the students in CMNS 490, Group Project in Publishing, a course in the Bachelor of Communication Studies degree at Capilano University, 2055 Purcell Way, North Vancouver, B.C., Canada, V7J 3H5.

All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part is prohibited.

Megan Orr & Tia Kutschera Fox

MAY 2018

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Release, then Catch

What are the meditative qualities of fishing? Dive into the calm world of fishing to find more than just supper. by Aidan Mouellic

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f you had asked me a couple years ago what I thought of fishing I would have told you that I didn’t really think much of it. Fishing, to me, was something that simple-minded alpha males partook in while guzzling beer and beating fish to death with miniature baseball bats. I didn’t identify with that pastime, and I still don’t. As I’ve grown though, I’ve learned that it’s easy to make judgements when we don’t understand things.

My entry into the world of fishing began as a depressed and anxious student at Capilano University. A few kilometres away from the North Vancouver campus sits Rice Lake, a small yet picturesque lake which is regularly stocked with small rainbow trout. My first few excursions there were meant primarily as brief nature walks after class. I had heard about the lake and wanted to see what the fuss was all about. On one of these walks, I noticed

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that people were fishing and something compelled me to try. Perhaps it was the peaceful and romantic scene of a lone angler perched on the shore, but my desire to buy a rod grew. I hadn’t fished in well over 20 years and my knowledge of how to do so came mostly from memories of reading Huckleberry Finn.

Army and Navy became my supplier; I went in shortly after the fishing urge took hold and purchased a rod and reel kit for $40 along with a fishing license. When I returned to Rice Lake to catch some fish I was met with the hard truth that there is more to fishing than tying a hook to a line and attaching a worm.

These first few attempts at fishing were embarrassing, to say the least.

I didn’t know how to properly cast the line or use the reel or do anything really, yet I still somehow wanted to figure it out. Eventually, after watching countless YouTube videos and learning

the basics about line setup and bait usage, I began to catch fish, and when this occurred something even greater transpired.

Focus: it’s not something I’ve been known to excel at, and yet standing on the lakeshore with a rod in hand and a line in the water, focus is what I did. The brutish and aggressive notions of fishing which I previously held were quickly dispelled, replaced with the realization that I’ve perhaps never participated in anything as calming and meditative.

Traditional means of meditation have always frightened me. Having to sit still with my thoughts, cramped and cross-legged? No, thanks! Taking up fishing has been my way to trick myself into meditating. Standing on the shore of a lake surrounded by beautiful nature scenes and focusing intently on the line, waiting for those small nibbles, has a way of clearing the mind better than most psychotropic medications I’ve tried.

As it turns out, I’m not the only one.

The medical field is slowly paying more attention to alternative meditation methods. In Scotland, at least two mental health facilities are taking patients out on therapeutic fishing outings and have been impressed with the results.

The natural setting, the focus needed and hopefully some fish caught, all add up to an empowering and grounding experience. And, more than anything, it’s fun.

I’ve discovered that many of the stereotypes about fishing and those who partake in this calming pastime are not only largely inaccurate, but they may also be preventing others from experiencing one of the most enjoyable, mindfulness-based activities out there.

For those who are game to try for themselves, I leave them with the immortal words of Canadian rockers Our Lady Peace: “Happiness... Is Not a Fish That You Can Catch.” l PHOTO: ISTOCK

Rewire to Unwind

Self-destructive, and longing for some life-changing magic? Cognitive Behavioural Therapy offers an active approach to mindfulness. by Freya Wasteneys

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s mindfulness by another name just as sweet?

According to Vancouver-based registered counsellor Lee Kotsalis-Thulin, the concept has been disguised in psychotherapy practices for years.

Most notably, Kotsalis-Thulin points to Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), which she often utilizes as a first line of treatment for individuals suffering from

it is a destination, with the hope that we will find our bliss through impossible yoga poses and expensive Lululemon loungewear.

While the idea of inner peace holds an attractive allure, we often forget that emotions are part of life, and Kotsalis-Thulin believes we judge our feelings too harshly.

“I think sometimes we try to commodify happiness; we talk about it as if it’s something we can chase

“I will live in the moment, unless that moment is unpleasant... in which case, I will eat a cookie.” –Anonymous mental health conditions. While CBT lacks the trendy following and high profile that mindfulness enjoys, for individuals suffering from recurring problems and destructive patterns, it may be more effective.

For many of us, the term mindfulness is surrounded by myriad misinterpretations, and like all forms of treatment, it is most successful when we have an understanding of what it will help us achieve. Since most pursue mindfulness hoping to release stress and feel more relaxed, it can be frustrating when pesky emotions rise to the surface, and we often assume we must be doing something wrong.

We push these feelings down, or we brush them off. We tell ourselves things like “meditation just doesn’t work for me,” or “I’m just wired differently,” and move on to the next trending self-help practice. Instead of addressing the destructive patterns that are causing us uncomfortable emotions, we often seek happiness as though ILLUSTRATION: CYNTHIA VO

down,” she says, “but happiness is just a fleeting positive emotional state, just like sadness is a more painful emotional state. We qualify them by saying that one is better and one’s worse, but they’re really just information about what’s going on right now.” Accepting our emotions for what they are, she believes, can help us detach from our judgements, and be more constructive.

The idea that surrounds mindfulness and CBT is not necessarily about getting rid of emotions, but rather acknowledging our feelings, and bringing our awareness to the present. Used most widely to treat mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression, CBT takes mindfulness a step further, empowering individuals to solve problems, change unhelpful patterns in cognition, and as a result, regulate emotions and behaviours through an actionbased approach. By recognizing harmful thought patterns such as over-generalizations, catastrophizing, and other forms of

negative self-talk, we can decrease emotional distress, and shift our thoughts towards a more positive focus, thereby changing destructive behaviours that might ensue.

Where mindfulness is more about acknowledging without judgement and letting go, CBT emphasizes developing strategies to recurring problems.

The point is not to ruminate, but instead to observe our thought patterns, recognize when we are engaging in negative self-talk, and look for ways of reframing our internal conversations. “What I try to do with clients is distin-

guish between the emotion as a problem, and the emotion as an experience,” says Kotsalis-Thulin. “If I keep pushing it away, and it keeps coming back; that’s when I try to see if I can develop a plan.”

For Kotsalis-Thulin, it’s all about small, achievable goals and breaking the marathon down into manageable segments. Sitting with discomfort, rather than pushing it aside to wreak unconscious havoc, can be the best way to ensure chronic problems are vanquished for good. “After all,” she observes, “what we resist, persists.” l MAY 2018

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Talk to Me Naked?

With her nude portraiture Tori Swanson helps her subjects discover their vulnerability and bravery. by Rachel D’Sa

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ancouver-based artist Tori Swanson began her nude portraiture service, Talk To Me Naked, in August of 2016 after discovering her passion for minimalist illustration of the human form. Swanson loves the feeling she gets during her sessions with clients. She admires their bravery and ability to remain in the moment, putting aside any personal insecurities. She has noticed a wave of people seeking transformation and the connection between her art and her values enables her to provide a safe space for clients.

Throughout her process, Swanson integrates mindful practices. “My work has asked me to be more present with myself. I’ve incorporated more intuitive readings and spiritual readings with my clairvoyant visions, and offer those visions to clients before they walk in,” she says. “It’s not to tell the future, it’s to talk about what’s happening right now, and if there are any blockages in their chakras or their body that we can unleash together.”

Swanson meditates on each client prior to meeting with them. Her elegant, simple and fluid linework aims to transform viewers’ perception of their outward appearances, something that hits close to home for the artist herself.

It was during her time in New York as a fashion student nearly a decade ago when Swanson found herself battling anorexia and bulimia.

“I came home because I just couldn’t bear it anymore. I was so lonely and I was so sick, and art was the only thing that allowed me to really surface my emotions and express them without judgement,” she said.

Finding strength in her personal experience and struggle with selflove and appreciation for “the now,” she heavily emphasizes the importance of remaining present while pushing aside negative thoughts and outside opinions. Swanson urges individuals to push themselves to look past their own, often critical thoughts, as they are usually not accurate reflections of who they truly are, but merely temporary ideas and perceptions.

“I’ve had a few women cry throughout the session, or some women who won’t turn around and will say, ‘I want you to draw my back,’ and I have to talk them into turning around. The whole point is, you know, you’re here, we’re here, we’re doing this,” says

Brain Cell

The 3 best apps to enhance your well-being.

by Ekaterina Usmanova

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ho knows how many negative effects our phones may have on us? Addiction, depression, demotivation, low self-esteem and reduced productivity—the list is long. But what if there were ways to make it work the other way around? Even with mental health being fundamental to our overall well-being, we do not always know how to keep things on track. According to Statistics Canada, 62% of Canadian workers feel at least “a bit” of stress every day. Luckily, there are numerous apps that help you find balance with yourself and your surroundings. Here are the three best apps for meditation and well-being:

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Swanson. She explains that her work isn’t solely work—she comes with a goal in mind.

Help the client move through her fears, sit comfortably in her skin, and love herself, even if just for the 30-minute session together. l

Simple Habit DOWNLOAD ON: AppStore, Google Play RATING: 4.7 TOTAL REVIEWS: 92,000+ AWARDS: Top iTunes App 2017 MONTHLY PREMIUM: USD$11.99 Simple Habit is my personal favourite. Developers included 1,000+ meditations to assist users with sleep, morning routine, break time, work, commute, physical activity, a tough day, and “SOS.” The app itself provides an aesthetically pleasing, user-friendly layout, and was designed specifically for busy people to meditate on-the-go. Yunha Kim, the founder and CEO of Simple Habit, created this project after burning out on her first startup. “I like to meditate five minutes a day, wherever I am,” she told Huffington Post. With a premium subscription below the cost of similar apps, and a free version that still provides a variety of helpful sources, Simple Habit lives up to its name.

PHOTO: COURTESY TORI SWANSON (ABOVE)

Conscious Consumption

How the slow eating movement adds more than just flavour and helps you tune into what you’re really feeling. by Sierra Holmes

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icture this: It’s exam week. You’ve been working like a dog all evening on a project and it’s time for a hard-earned treat. You’re salivating for that crispy, crunchy, sweet, salty, smooth, fill-in-the-blank here. For me it would be a couple squares of perfectly smooth, dark chocolate with crunchy bits of caramel and dappled with sea salt.

The first bite is mind-blowing. You are fully enthralled by the textures and tastes and you sit in happiness, savouring that first bite. You take another bite, but as you continue writing and researching, your head isn’t fully in the game.

All of a sudden, the treat has disappeared! Where did it all go?

Your lips have food on them and remnants of flavour linger on your taste buds. It must have gone down your gullet when you weren’t looking, tasting, smelling, or savouring. You are unsatisfied and disappointed and thus feel

the need to reach for something more. “But wait! Aren’t we trying to eat healthier?” your inner voice objects. “One is enough!” And thus begins the battle over one of the simplest, most pleasurable things in life— eating. The main reason for many unhealthy relationships with food and eating habits stems from the fact that we’ve forgotten how to be present with our food.

We have become mindless eaters.

Every day we are bombarded with must-have superfoods, the latest diet, and “healthy” eating trends that emphasize what and how much we eat instead of how we eat. Research conducted

by Harvard Health found that developing mindful eating habits can have a significant impact on both happiness and digestion; specifically, it can cause weight loss, reduce binge eating and help you feel better.

Mindful eating stems from Buddhism, which encourages us to connect more deeply with our eating experience. Ultimately, it

teaches us to enjoy our food more, and gives us the ability to reach a state of full attention to cravings, experiences, and physical hunger cues. This mindfulness can be beneficial in recovering from depression, eating disorders, addiction and anxiety.

A recent study in the New York Times studied 1,400 mindful eaters and demonstrated that these eaters had more self-compassion, lower body weights, and fewer symptoms of eating disorders.

Just like anything, in order to reap the benefits, the practice needs to be incorporated into your everyday routine.

Here are some practical tips from the Huffington Post: Pay attention to flavour, texture and sensations such as the saltiness of a French fry or a spicy-hot sauce as it hits the back of your throat. Noting the textures and sensations of food is an excellent way to bring the mind into the present moment and experience the full pleasure that food can

bring. Eat slower and savour every bite. Chew until you can chew no

more. Savour the silence. Attempt eating one meal per week mindfully, in silence, by yourself. Get creative: have a picnic, eat in the forest, sit in an odd corner of your home. Stop multitasking. Turn off the television. Set your phone down and do homework after eating. Memes, texts, and Tinder can wait. Be in the moment.

Mindful eating does not have to be a dreaded task. It really is quite simple. The best part is that mindful eating can be practiced with anything: doughnuts, chocolate, avocado, potatoes. You get the idea.

Eating at a snail’s pace feels weird at first, but remember that you’ll be improving digestion, connecting to your inner Buddha, and savouring the moment! l

Headspace

Calm

DOWNLOAD ON: AppStore, Google Play RATING: 4.8 TOTAL REVIEWS: 267,000+ AWARDS: AppStore Editor’s Choice MONTHLY PREMIUM: USD$12.99

DOWNLOAD ON: AppStore, Google Play RATING: 4.7 TOTAL REVIEWS: 102,000+ AWARDS: AppStore App of the Year 2017 MONTHLY PREMIUM: USD$17.99

Headspace is another award-winning guided meditation app that provides hundreds of themed sessions on topics from sleep to stress. The app’s animated interface, orange-toned colour palette and charming illustrations suggest fun and optimism.

Not only does Headspace guide you to calmness, it also aims to teach you to ignore distractions, improve focus, and enhance compassion towards others, among other useful life skills. In 2016, Headspace claimed to have been used by more than six million users, including celebrities such as actress Emma Watson, who said of Headspace, “It’s an app that teaches you how to meditate. It’s kind of genius.”

Calm is another beautifully designed app that helps you, “reduce anxiety, sleep better, and feel happier.” Sessions are augmented with nature sounds or visuals. Calm even sells its own lavender- and sage-scented Sleep Mist pillow spray, which is said to “pair perfectly” with the app’s special Sleep Stories, such as Stephen Fry’s relaxing audio journey through Provence. One app user raved: “I work in pediatric mental health. I take calls most people would choose an IRS audit over. This app has become a regular part of my routine. It helps me to remove myself from troubling thoughts and focus on what I can do with the moment.” l

PHOTO: ISTOCK (ABOVE)

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Keep Calm and Save On Your spending habits could be ruining your financial and emotional health.

Be money-mindful; it’s time to get tracking. by Tia Kutschera Fox Medicine, financial stress has been linked to migraines, insomnia, and cardiovascular disease.

Shiva Kashi, a financial security advisor from Freedom 55 Financial, gives her take on how to deal with this and become more financially conscious. Often people ages 18 to 35 don’t know where they are spending their money, and too much disappears on wants. “They treat it as a need, especially when they are stressed,” explains Kashi. The first step to dealing with this is keeping track of where the money is going. Avoidance is self-sabotage; instead of facing the problem people allow it to get worse. By monitoring spending using tactics like paying only with cash, or using budget management apps like Mint, people can become more mindful of what they are doing with their money. As the saying goes, what

gets tracked gets managed. Kashi suggests using a spreadsheet for tracking, but whatever is easiest to use long-term is best.

“Tracking spending is a habit that should be built over time, and people should stick to it, not just use it to get out of debt.”

Many people treat spending like a diet; the moment they “cheat” by spending more than they should, they give up on the idea entirely. In fact, if people were gentler with themselves and acknowledged that “cheats” happen, they could pick themselves up and recover much faster. The key is not to be judgemental or harsh.

Thankfully, this doesn’t mean cutting out every little pleasure in life, like a daily Starbucks or going out for drinks. In fact, Kashi warns that cutting out all the fun can have the opposite effect on saving. “A little bit of fun is actu-

55%

of Canadians have purchased something they may not need because it was on sale.*

*CBC NEWS

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ccording to an Ipsos poll taken last December, the average consumer debt of Canadians aged 18 to 34 is $5,600.

The poll also found that 12% of that population owes more than $25,000. With increasingly high tuition fees and a housing crisis in Vancouver, it’s not hard to see why household debt is at record levels. It doesn’t help that many people dealing with debt or financial stress cope through a classic human reaction: avoidance. Many people don’t know exactly how much they owe and are afraid to face it. This can create a snowball effect; stress leads to avoidance which leads to more stress. Besides the obvious mental discomfort stress causes, it can also be detrimental to physical health. According to an article published in August 2013 in the journal, Social Science &

ally a need, we just have to make sure that we do not overspend our money for that. So many people say they want to rely on self-discipline, give up all the fun parts, give up everything that is not exactly a need—they all snap at some point. It’s not sustainable to give up fun altogether.”

Big changes often follow small choices, and something as simple as being conscious of spending habits can be enough to improve our health and peace of mind. ■

WHAT DID YOU BUY TODAY?

$3,981

Entertainment 10 still

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$3,374

Clothes + Shoes

$2,502

Restaurant

*STATISTICS CANADA 2015

The biggest impulse spending items for Canadian are clothes/shoes, entertainment and restaurants.*

PHOTO + ILLUSTRATIONS: ISTOCK

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Mastering the Art of Mindful Living After years of working in mental health, Brandi Matheson adopted a new approach to wellness for herself and her clients. b y A L I C I A N E P T U N E PHOTO: ANGELA BARRON / TYPE A PHOTOGRAPHY

y father, who has worked in the mental health field for 30 years, is at times maddeningly perceptive of my mental state. Our after-dinner conversations frequently revolve around how I’m managing my anxiety, and he has always let me know that I not only have his support, but also many healthcare services available to me. Through him, I’ve seen how mindfulness has taken hold in the healthcare system over the past few years. From psychologists and counsellors utilizing mindfulness techniques to community programs offering meditation groups, the practice has become increasingly widespread. And though I was initially hesitant, it was through my dad that I had my first encounter with a mindfulness meditation practitioner, Brandi Matheson.

When I first met Matheson, she went right for the hug. Far from the perfunctory, awkward hugs I was used to with strangers, hers was wholehearted. In her mid-30s, Brandi has a grey hair or two hidden among the blonde, and tiny laugh lines around her eyes—which I’m sure she would rather I not notice. Between the perpetual blush in her cheeks and the kind smile on her face, my first impression of her was of a warm, compassionate and genuinely caring person, a feeling that only grew over the two months she led me in mindfulness sessions. Though she has more than a decade of experience working with people to improve their mental health, learning about mindfulness marked a shift in the way she approached wellness as a whole.

Her journey into mindfulness started in 2011, when she became the program manager for Centennial Place in Mission. B.C., a program operated by Communitas Supportive Care Society. “It was, ironically enough,” she says, “a mental health and wellness centre that I was in charge of creating.” The centre belongs to the clubhouse model, which aims to provide a supportive and encouraging community. Individuals are referred to Centennial Place by their family doctor or a mental health professional. As members, they help manage the clubhouse and take responsibility for their mental health. While working with her team to get Centennial Place up and running, Matheson noticed the impact stress was having on her own mental health.

“At that point,” she says, “the things which I was doing for self-care were no longer really helping.”

She considered taking her mental wellness into the healthcare system. Working for Communitas since 2005 in various mental health programs, she knew what kind of support was available. But then someone gave her a book on MAY 2018

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Brandi Matheson took up mindfulness to deal with stress of creating and running a mental health centre.

mindfulness and something clicked into place.

“I was literally in tears in the first chapter because I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, this is what I’ve been needing.’ And then I just started practicing.”

In addition to creating opportunities for individuals to gain employment and access education, Centennial Place also offers a variety of wellness activities and classes led by members. Because of her role there, Matheson was in a position to share what she was learning with other people who were receptive to the idea and could benefit greatly. She would read books about mindfulness, research online, go to a local Buddhist centre for meditations and then share what she was learning with the members.

“It started really grassroots,” she says. “Let’s read this together, let’s explore this practice together. That’s really what the first year was, more or less—me trying to make sense of it myself while journeying through it with other people.” Together, both Matheson and the clubhouse members saw improvements in their well-being.

“Everyone started seeing changes. And it

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was the first time in my life—and at that point, I’d been eight years into working in mental health—that I felt like I had something I could share with people that would truly start to change their lives.”

Matheson continued learning and began training in mindfulness, meditation and yoga.

In 2015, she left her manager position, and is now a qualified teacher of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MSBR) and Trauma Sensitive Yoga.

When I first met Matheson in May 2016, I had just started a new position as an outreach organizer and was overwhelmed by stress and anxiety. My coping mechanisms had grown to be less and less helpful. My doctor referred me to a psychologist who turned out to be a poor fit, which only discouraged me further. Something had to change, and I knew I couldn’t do it on my own. My dad had previously recommended that I try a mindfulness program. I was skeptical but finally decided to give it a try. I contacted Matheson and began an eight-week MSBR program.

Originally developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn in 1979 at the University of Massachusetts Medi-

cal Centre, the program includes mindful meditation, yoga and body awareness. Kabat-Zinn had studied meditation with Buddhist teachers and hoped to bring mindfulness, the practice of bringing one’s attention to the present moment, into a new context: healthcare. The program’s first participants were patients dealing with chronic pain. In the decades since the program’s creation, research has shown that mindfulness can positively impact the way we deal with not only physical pain, but stress, anxiety, and other health conditions. The program’s foundation in science and research helped bring mindfulness to the mainstream and lay the groundwork for other programs like mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT).

Matheson and I met once a week for 90-minute sessions. After our formal practice each week, she left materials to help guide me as I continued my individual practice. Under her guidance, I would meditate, bringing attention to my breath, to sounds, to sensations.

I practiced being non-reactive and accepting my emotions. I stopped trying to avoid discomfort and allowed myself to sit in the present moment, whatever that moment brought.

PHOTO: ANGELA BARRON / TYPE A PHOTOGRAPHY

The other focus of our sessions was bringing awareness to the body. One practice in MSBR is the body scan, during which you focus your attention on one part of the body at the time, noticing each sensation without judgement. We would also practice yoga and mindful exercises involving walking or other movement. While I found stillness to be most effective in combating my anxiety, Matheson notes that movement is often a gentler way of becoming in touch with your body. “Stillness can be very invasive,” she says. “I would say if someone has a lot of trauma that they should do movement first.” Her training in trauma-sensitive yoga allows her to offer a different way of dealing with emotional states than traditional talk therapy.

Gradually, through the combination of movement, stillness and my new mindful approach to the present, I started to feel less anxious. I found that I was able to remain calm in moments of stress and not lose myself in worry or mindless distractions.

Matheson notes that she saw changes in the members at Centennial that were “organic and natural, that weren’t forced.” Unlike other mental health treatments, it didn’t involve a concrete goal such as losing weight or finding a job.

“This was something that wasn’t as tangible, but all those things started happening for people.”

I ask if she believes we should shift our thinking away from such strict, goal-oriented models when it comes to mental health. “Yes,” she says emphatically. She laughs and taps on the table. “Get that on there!” She acknowledges that tangible, realistic goals are necessary and says she wouldn’t be where she is in her practice without them.

The piece that goes missing when we are so focused on achieving a specific goal is that starting jobs, building relationships, or taking other big steps come with stress. She’s seen people get the job they were aiming for, succeed at it for a few months, but then become overwhelmed because they didn’t have the necessary tools to keep their life in balance. “We need to be able to have this safe harbour that we’ve created so when those opportunities come we have the ability to stick with it,” she says. She adds that, “Mindfulness empowers us to do that inner work so we have greater resources available when things get stressful.”

Leaving her manager position to start her own business was a big shift. One challenge she

faced early on was how to continue her practice and be her authentic self while also promoting herself. “Trying to build a career in this field, it’s a very interesting dynamic,” she admits. “This practice is about non-striving and when you’re building a business, there’s a whole ton of striving.” Mindfulness’ rapidly growing popularity had her feeling like she was at the top of a tsunami wave, hoping to be the first one to reach the shore. Part of her mental check-in was to recognize her ego and trust that her career would unfold in time.

“The way I look at it now,” she says, “I’m so committed to this practice, and that’s enough.

That’s enough.”

Matheson hopes to one day see the practice become more accessible to everyone. I was privileged enough to come from a family that could afford to pay for private sessions, but for

with discomfort and unpleasantness is also an important part of Matheson’s teaching. However, she believes that the benefits of the practice will eventually emerge, even for those who walk away, or those whose immediate goal is to perfect their downward dog or sleeping tortoise poses.

“The seed is planted and whether they knew it or not that seed will grow in some way. And maybe it will be 10 years from now they’ll have that a-ha moment, but it will happen. Because awareness is so powerful. Once we have that shift into wisdom, there’s no going back.”

As a teacher, mindfulness is at the core of both her personal and her work life. However, she is still only human and has her less-thanmindful moments like the rest of us. “Even being a teacher,” she says, “you’re still going to mess up and not be as skillful and present as you want to be. You’re going to have times when you completely lose the practice.”

She recalls a moment on her recent trip to Myanmar. “At the monastery, I was really struggling with this judgement that was arising about this particular person. I don’t like to judge people, and so I believe I suffered because I felt so bad that this thought kept coming up.” But then one morning, during her 4 a.m. walk, she reached a new awareness. “I didn’t intentionally think that thought, it just arose.

Why am I owning this judgement so much?

What I can do now is choose how much I’m going to engage in it, and what way I’m going to engage in it.” She opted to let go of the guilt she felt at her judgment and made that person the focus of her compassion instead.

Mindfulness continues to transform her life and the way she relates to the people around her, including her husband. Though he doesn’t have a formal mindfulness practice, he’s told her that it’s changed him too. For Matheson, seeing the changes in him, in herself, and in all the people she teaches is the most rewarding part of her work. More than two years after my sessions with her, I’m able to tell her how meaningful mindfulness has been in my own journey.

How I’ve been able to pursue opportunities my formerly anxious mind would never have considered and develop a compassion for myself that’s been sorely lacking since I was a teenager.

Before we go our separate ways, she gives me the same wholehearted hug. I watch her walk away. And then I go on to the next moment. n

“Environments make a huge difference,” she says. “When I’m teaching it at a yoga studio that is more fitness-oriented, people aren’t looking for the kind of practice that I can genuinely offer up. They’re looking more for something that’s going to make them relaxed and at ease.” so many people, cost is prohibitive. “My big dream,” Matheson says, “is that mindfulness and meditation will be recognized as alternative health. Like, extended medical would pay for it, just like massage and naturopaths and all these different alternative therapies. I would love to see it offered where people who didn’t have the funds could still access it.”

Matheson currently teaches mindfulness meditation and yoga in a variety of settings, from private sessions to drop-in classes to corporate workshops. Those who seek her out for private sessions are willing to embrace the practice, though not everyone in her classes is always so keen. “Environments make a huge difference,” she says. “When I’m teaching it at a yoga studio that is more fitness-oriented, people aren’t looking for the kind of practice that I can genuinely offer up. They’re looking more for something that’s going to make them relaxed and at ease.”

While relaxation or stress reduction can be a benefit of mindfulness, learning to sit

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minimalist

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style Trade living space and possessions for mindspace and freedom. The Finleys did it, and so can you.

Here's how one couple consume less, but live more.

by JADE O’ TOOLE photos by NASH + KIM FINLEY

If

clutter makes you crazy, if you avoid the mall like the plague, or if you’re frequently filling garbage bags with stuff to donate, you could already be on your way to living a minimalist lifestyle. What is minimalism? Well, in short, it’s living with less stuff.

Some people do it for environmental reasons, others for the freedom and reduced stress. But as the authors, podcasters and full-time proselytizers for minimalism, Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus say, “Minimalists don’t focus on having less, less, less; rather, we focus on making room for more: more time, more passion, more experiences, more growth, more contribution, more contentment, more freedom. Clearing the clutter from life’s path helps us make that room.”

One way to have less stuff is to not have the space for it. Tiny homes, often less than 500 square feet, offer only the basic living arrangements (a kitchen, a bathroom, and a sleeping area) and have little space for possessions.

Small spaces force their inhabitants to keep only what is absolutely necessary. Such was the case for two people living in a 50-square-foot home on wheels.

Imagine waking up in the morning, brewing a coffee, and opening your front door to a new location whenever you want. This scenario is a reality for Nash and Kim Finley (thenomadicpeople.com and @thenomadicpeople on Instagram). The couple live a minimalist life on the road in their 1978 VW bus named Rusty.

Nash is from Arizona, Kim is from Germany.

The two met while travelling and have been moving around ever since. How do they do it?

Both ditched most of their possessions, gave up their apartments, and pursued the “van life,” living on the road for three years and counting.

Why did they do it? “Freedom,” replies Nash, “It’s quite exhilarating to just drive on the open road without any plans.”

Nash is a freelance graphic and web designer, but they both pick up odd jobs wherever they MAY 2018

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Taking Steps

In an informal poll of Capilano University students, we asked: “Are you happy with how much stuff you own?”

31%

• •

6%

No, there’s still a couple things I would like.

go. Dog-walking, babysitting, and Lyft driving are just a few of them.

Living in a van of course has its perks and downfalls. The perks include the ability to move from place to place. The downfalls include lack of space and resources (even a toilet). “Living in a van, you have to make conscious decisions about everything you want to buy, since you will need to find room for it. It is quite surprising how little you need to survive and how consumerism had such a large effect on our [previously] sedentary lives,” Nash observes.

Their adopted lifestyle made the couple more mindful of the resources they use, like power and water. In their VW bus, Nash and

Many of us like the idea of minimalism, and even want to pursue it “someday.” Letting go of our possessions is daunting and thinking before buying can be hard. But you can take steps to move yourself in the right direction: Start small: Don’t dive into being a minimalist. Writing down all the reasons you want to live a simpler life is a good place to start.

Eliminate clutter: Start with what's visible on your counters, tables, bookshelves and desktops. Before you simply stash the items away in drawers and cupboards, consider whether you will use them again and, if not, start a box to take to friends, give to a thrift store or charitable organization, or take to the recycling depot.

Use a system: There are many first steps to take, one of which is Project 333. This is a minimalist fashion challenge where you only wear 33 items (or fewer) for three months, including clothing, shoes and accessories. You then put the rest of your items somewhere out of sight, and repeat the challenge every three months.

What doesn't get worn at least once during the year is probably something you can donate or recycle.

Ditch the car: Though Nash and Kim’s vehicle is their home, many of us can manage without a car. People living a minimalist lifestyle often choose to ride a bike (electric ones, with a motor and battery, make uphill pedals a breeze), carpool, or use a car-share service instead.

Yeah, I think I have enough.

No, cleaning out my closet is way overdue.

Kim can store only five gallons of water at a time, and must make every drop count. In fact, Nash remembers visiting a friend’s house and doing the dishes: “[He] looked at me with a big smile and said, ‘I was wondering why you turn off the water after every dish, then I remembered you live in a van.’” Without electrical appliances that we take for granted, like a full-size refrigerator, they are mindful of any perishable items they buy, and never let them go to waste.

They don't have long-term plans to live on the road, but Nash says that “the awareness that comes from living in a bus will stick with us for the rest of our lives.” n

•

•

The Benefits of Minimalism 1 2 Minimalism will save you money: most of us have bought something at some point in our lives and immediately asked ourselves if we really needed it, or if it was just “a want.” Some of us have piles of things that were purely wants, not needs. The majority of these purchases only provided us with a fleeting feeling of joy. So why do we indulge? Because we are surrounded by others who want to acquire stuff, and by media messages that exhort us to buy new things, whether it's a car, an iPhone, a flat-screen TV, or a pair of designer shoes. Material wealth is seen as a normal aspect of life. Time to change your thinking.

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Minimalism will save you time: Bestselling author Joshua Becker says that, on average, Americans spend about 12 hours every month shopping.

Once the items get home, organizing and caring for them becomes another burden. Shop less: fewer possessions in your home makes it easier to clean and easier to find the belongings that are important to you.

3

Minimalism keeps you from looking backwards: Becker also found that minimalism allows you to move away from your past. Think about it; how much stuff do you have from your high school days or earlier? Do you

still use them or are they sitting in your closet? Of course, there are things we choose to keep for sentimental reasons, but there is also a lot of stuff we may keep just for the heck of it. According to Becker, “clutter keeps you tied to the past. Your thoughts tend to dwell in the past as the things around you force your mind to reminisce.” Maybe some of it doesn’t even bring back the fondest memories. By getting rid of things that are irrelevant to your current life, you’re able to move on from yesterday and focus on today and tomorrow.

4

Minimalism can reduce stress: Many people don’t like being

surrounded by clutter, and owning less makes it easier to be tidy, creating more reflective, serene living spaces.

5

Minimalism will make you happier: The Simplicity Institute, an education and research centre that strives to “seed a revolution in consciousness that highlights the urgent need to move beyond growth-orientated, consumerist forms of life,” conducted a study to prove that happiness can be achieved through less. In a survey of 2,500 people who self-identified as minimalists, 87% said they were happier now, living with less stuff, than they were when they had more possessions. n

Wardrobe

Awearness FAST FASHION IS ONE OF THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE FORCES ON THE PLANET. DENIM SPECIALIST MELISSA ROSSI WANTS US TO MAKE AMENDS.

by ELIZABETH SCOTT

T

he subtle roar of industrial sewing machines and kitchen clatter from Chinese restaurants echo through a sunlit courtyard in a mysterious space somewhere between Chinatown’s East Pender and Hastings streets. The Rolling Stones’ “Beast of Burden” bellows from inside Melissa Rossi’s shared studio while she pulls a scrap piece of denim from her pocket and wipes down a dusty bench for two. “Clothing is fucking ubiquitous,” she says, emphasizing the importance of adopting mindful buying habits globally.

“It doesn’t matter what culture you’re from, clothing crosses all cultural barriers.”

Fashion designer Vivienne Westwood’s famous reminder is to, “Buy less, choose well and make it last.” Her words are imperative in today’s culture of over-consumption and throwaway fashion, especially to Melissa Rossi, an Emily Carr alumna who found her passion as a mending wizard specializing in denim repairs. Rossi is the owner of Making-A-Mends, a clothing repair business born from a desire to encourage re-engagement, lasting relationships and mindful connections with our clothing. Mending is a form of meditation and artistic expression for the 28-year-old, who shares her skills through workshops as a way to promote conscious habits among fashion consumers.

“It doesn’t make sense to me to be creating more products to solve problems that will then create more problems. We have enough stuff,” says Rossi, explaining that producing new clothing would only add to the incalculable amount of clothes already in existence. “There’s enough clothing and furniture and everything to sustain everybody for-fucking-ever.”

Repairing is something that often gets left unconsidered, which is probably why North Americans toss 12 million pounds of clothing into the landfills each year, according to a recent Globe and Mail article by Denise Balkissoon.

PHOTO: COURTESY MELISSA ROSSI

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KNOW THE DIFFERENCE Throwaway, Fast-Fashion Jeans

Quality, Long-lasting Jeans

MATERIAL: Thin fabric that contains a high percentage of synthetic fabrics like Spandex, Lycra or rayon. The jeans are often prebroken in through toxic washing, dying and distressing processes.

TYPE OF COTTON: conventional, or blended with synthetics.

STITCHING: Low stitch count. Look for visible flaws like fraying, uneven stitches, loose threads or other damage.

COLOUR: The colour fades quickly after just a couple of washes. Coloured with toxic dyes.

DETAILS: No leather patch on waistband; no galvanized buttons or rivets.

STITCHING: Look for a high stitch count, durable stitching free of fraying or damage, and a chain-stitched hem

MANUFACTURING: Made by overseas workers in countries that tend to lack adequate labour laws. Manufacturing was likely unethical, unsafe and unsustainable, while workers were not paid a living wage.

CBC Marketplace also revealed recently that the average North American purchases 70 new items of clothing annually, another contributing factor to the endless onslaught of disposable clothing. Rossi believes that the popularity of mending and mindful clothing care is on the rise, though. “Yes, I think it’s growing. Yes, I think people want to do it. It’s just about finding a way to make it accessible and to make it cool. I hate

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TYPE OF COTTON: Pure cotton, organic cotton.

COLOUR: The colour typically fades only after many wears and washes. Often, environmentally friendly dyes such as natural indigo are used to colour the jeans.

MANUFACTURING: Does the place of manufacturing have ethical and sustainable labour laws? Many high quality, long-lasting jeans are manufactured in North America, Europe and Japan. Production processes seek to minimize waste, avoid the use of toxic chemicals, and produce quality denim in large, efficient quantities.

that that’s part of it, but it really is,” she says. She believes that mindfulness is the perfect antidote for mindless clothing consumption, and pushes others to consciously create new life for clothes that were once landfill-bound.

We know that the fast fashion industry is environmentally destructive, but author Dr. James Conca found in a 2015 Forbes article, “Making Climate Change Fashionable,” that

fashion is one of the world’s most detrimental industries, second only to oil and gas. Momentary trends, mass production and mindless consumption create damage and human misery beyond belief. Dark, right? The rapid growth of the fast-fashion industry has evoked a global discussion surrounding its environmental implications. However, the mindful habits and essential skills necessary to combat the

ILLUSTRATIONS: JOELLE LAWRENCE

WWW.MAKEYOUROWNJEANS.COM/BLOG/HOW-TO-CHECK-THE-QUALITY-OF-DENIM-JEANS; WWW.REFINERY29.COM/QUALITY-DENIM-BRANDS?BUCKETED=TRUE

DETAILS: Copper or metal buttons and rivets. Leather patch on waistband.

industry’s damage and to promote conscious consumption are part of a much less prominent discussion.

“What’s your relationship to your clothing?”

Rossi asks. It’s a thought-provoking question that requires deep consideration. We don’t often think too much about the things we choose to cover our bodies in, other than the usual, “Can I pull this off?” or, “Is this clean enough to wear in public?” For Rossi, a critical step towards mindful clothing consumption is to understand our relationship with the clothing we purchase. Are we buying clothes with the intention of a temporary, short-lived fling? Or are we investing in a full-on, long-term commitment that’s more of a “till death do us part” sort of thing? Most of the

tag or dollar amount,” she says, explaining that higher standards and slower decisions are key to harnessing mindfulness in our wardrobes.

“An important thing for me is really encouraging people to find value in everything that they own. And if it doesn’t provide you with value, find someone else who can use it,” says Rossi.

Value lies in the lasting quality, the meaningful stories attached, or the history connected to secondhand garments. When a piece of clothing has a unique story attached or if it’s sentimental to somebody else, we’re likely to care for it a little more and hold onto it a little longer.

When shopping for new clothing, either in-store or online, the experience can be incredibly overwhelming (intentionally so). Do you

Absentminded impulse buys can fill our lives with regret and empty our wallets (the average Canadian owes $8,500 in consumer debt). To embrace mindfulness is to disengage from clothes-buying habits that are influenced by the latest trends, the lowest prices and clever marketing. time, it’s the former: a casual fling that usually ends up getting tossed out or going out of style within weeks. Buying clothing is like dating, and commitment issues are pandemic.

Rossi poses another question: “What is ‘good enough’?” Do any of us really have a clear definition of value and what constitutes being ‘good enough’ when we’re choosing to buy clothing?

The standards for clothing quality have sunk dramatically in recent years and we’ve accepted it because it comes with dirt cheap prices. Consider a pair of jeans: a quintessential and iconic wardrobe staple for decades. Historically, a classic pair of Levi’s was made from 100% cotton with metal rivets and heavy-duty stitching.

Pairs that were manufactured 50 years ago are still in circulation and highly sought after by denim-lovers (Denim jeans manufactured today with the same quality and ethical processes retail for between $250 and to $400).

Compare those 50-year-old Levi’s to a pair of $40 jeans from a fast-fashion retailer like Zara. The cotton in those cheap jeans is diluted with synthetic fibres like polyester and elastane (hello, jeggings!), and then thrown into a series of toxic chemical baths to achieve the right faded or distressed look. Which pair holds more value?

“We need to start defining what value means to us, and not necessarily value based on price

remember the last time you were in an H&M or a TopShop? “I can’t concentrate in there. Everywhere you turn there’s stimuli,” says Rossi, referring to the overpowering music, lights, signs and price tags designed to keep us distracted, making mindful purchases exponentially more difficult.

Online, there are constant visual stimulants like advertisements and popups, each fighting for your attention. “This whole system has been created so that we don’t think about it too much,” Rossi says. Absentminded impulse buys can fill our lives with regret and empty our wallets (the average Canadian owes $8,500 in consumer debt, according to Equifax Canada). To embrace mindfulness is to disengage from clothes-buying habits hat are influenced by the latest trends, the lowest prices and clever marketing.

Buying clothing is tricky, especially when there’s an entire industry depending on our frequent and mindless purchases. Then there’s the discarding process, which is equally problematic. When we’re ready to part with our regretful impulse buys or out-of-style clothes, donating and consigning are common choices. We do it in good faith, knowing that our clothes are going to people who need them. But what really happens to our clothing after it leaves our possession?

The reality is that our donations rarely go to people in need. Donating clothing may ease our

conscience and make us feel philanthropic, but according to a 2016 report from Value Village, 26 billion pounds of used clothing and textiles will nevertheless end up in North American landfills each year. A 2018 CBC Marketplace report also revealed that only 20% of donated clothing is actually resold in thrift stores, while the remaining amount is shipped to developing countries (a process that has many environmental and ethical issues of its own), recycled or thrown in landfills.

“We have no [municipal] textile recycling facility in Vancouver which is so completely fucked if you ask me,” says Rossi. So what are we supposed to do with our clothes when we’re finished with them and how do we adopt mindfulness into our disposal habits? Rossi offers another manifesto for conscious discarding.

She uses a mobile app called Bunz to trade her used clothing and other items with Vancouver locals. “Knowing that this person is going out of their way to meet up with me, I know that they actually want the item. They’re going to care for it. And hopefully, since they’re already involved in this trading system, they’ll continue to pass it on.” Rossi continues on to say, “I try as much as possible to avoid donation bins,” understanding that it’s unlikely her clothing is going to those in need. However, she suggests taking clothes directly to local shelters is a good way to ensure they go to people who need it. “I give things away to my friends, and clothing swaps can be great,” she adds. Repairing and repurposing is something she encourages doing before getting rid of things. You may just discover a new favourite item after showing an old garment a little love.

To slow down is a bold move in an industry dominated by change. By taking a moment to consider the value, the significance, or the lifespan of the clothing you purchase, you’ve already done more to be mindful than the average consumer. When it comes to our wardrobes, embracing slow, mindful thinking will help resist fast fashion and its implications.

“How do I make young people want to keep stuff for longer? How do I make people want to build a relationship with their things?” asks Rossi.

The answers are still a mystery but mindful clothing consumption has a promising future in Vancouver. There’s a growing collective of menders and makers who strive to keep us connected to our old clothing, even if it’s just by a thread. “Buy less, choose well, and make it last.”

Consider Vivienne Westwood’s words a doctrine for mindful clothing consumption. “And repair your things!” adds Rossi. ■ MAY 2018

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#FOMO How social media is plaguing the millennial mind.

T

by ELIZABETH MEEK

hat compulsion.

You’re waiting for a bus, or sitting in a restaurant, or you could even be at a crowded party, and you can’t help but check your phone and scroll through your social media feed. We all do it; it’s part of the societal desire to be connected and constantly stimulated but like many compulsive habits, it can also lead to feelings of anxiety and depression. For some social media users, the fear of missing out (FOMO) keeps them tethered to their devices, deepening feelings of inadequacy and loneliness.

Nobody wants to feel left out, and no one wants to believe that their lives might not be as fulfilling as their friends’. Social media is an effective and efficient way to stay connected, share our views, or update others about our lives, but it comes at a cost. Problems arise when we start comparing our reality to others’ virtual lives, and begin to feel unsatisfied with our own reality.

This is a real issue, and sociologists are taking notice. The 2011 study “Misery Has More Company Than People Think” from Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, suggests that

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we are only capable of viewing other’s emotional experiences and lives in the context of a social setting, but because social media portrays a limited view of others’ emotional experiences, we perceive their lives to be better than they are in reality. Another study, “Social Media Use and Mood Disorders: When Is It Time to Unplug?” from a 2017 issue of American Family Physician, revealed that more time spent on multiple social media platforms increased the likelihood of anxiety and depression.

Learning to use social media mindfully can help make it a positive experience, even for those who find it brings them to a dark and lonely place. In the 2016 article, “Motivators of Online Vulnerability: The Impact of Social Network Site Use and FOMO,” from Computers in Human Behavior, describes the phenomenon as “a psychological state in which people become anxious that others within their social spheres are leading much more interesting and socially desirable lives.”

The negative impact of this psychological state is an addiction to the devices that connect you. The compulsion that FOMO PHOTO: SHUTTERSTOCK

creates can affect every area of your life. The more social media platforms you use, the more likely you are to fall down this rabbit hole. By increasing our awareness, we can understand and recognize our own patterns, and make the necessary changes.

In an interview with two Communications undergrads at Capilano University, both students revealed how social media made them feel. After moving to Canada two years ago, one respondent found it difficult to make new friends. Through Facebook, she claims, she stays in touch with her family and friends back home, but she often finds that looking at posts from her friends who are travelling the globe makes her feel left out. Her Facebook feed makes it seem like everyone else is living a fabulous life, and the inauthenticity bothers her.

“I see people posting pictures together and I know they only spend time together a couple of times a year, but here they are posting like they are best friends,” she says. “What makes it worse is when someone will post about how much they care about someone but they are telling me in person how they want nothing to do with them. There is this pretend world of everything being glossy and perfect.” One of the worst feelings she has is when her new friends travel or go out without her. “After seeing photos on social media from a group of friends who went camping, it made me feel like I am suffocating in my life and my best years are being wasted because I am not out there having fun.”

Many of the photos this young woman posts on her Facebook page exude a carefree attitude, and she always looks beautiful. There are images of different places she visits, including weekend getaways outside of Vancouver. Yet despite her highly curated profile, she describes feeling ugly, and admits that social media often makes her feel depressed. She will remove images that make her look less attractive, or don’t receive many likes. “I suffer from terrible anxiety. Most people don’t know that about me and every time I look at my phone, every time I check any of my social media, I hear a voice in my head telling me not to let this ruin your day.”

To counteract the negative impact of social media, she restricts her use of social media, only checking it two to three times a day.

By acknowledging her FOMO, she can employ mindfulness as a way to fight the compulsion she feels to monitor her online presence.

The second student believes she has found a way to use social media that has diminished her anxiety around it. By focusing on one platform, Instagram, she finds she has more control, and is able to use her account to express herself artistically. She is very careful with what she posts and focuses on making her page visually appealing, incorporating specific colour palettes and themes. Once a month, she and her boyfriend will spend an entire day creating content for their Instagram accounts. “We will go out and take over 1,000 pictures on one day and will maybe only use three photos that we think people will like,” she explains.

Her posting may not be spontaneous or organic, but they ease her anxiety around social media, and allow her to focus more on what she is posting, rather than worrying about others are doing. (Though she, too, delete images that don’t earn many likes.)

“We don’t take photos just for the sake of taking nice photos,” she says. “We have plenty of photos of each other.

[Instead] we mindfully create content, and post what we think is Instagram-worthy.” Asking her what mindful social media use means to her ,she explains, “You go through your photos, choose the right one that represents you, finding the right caption, and choosing the right hashtag. You need to think about what you are posting and you don’t randomly post everything you photograph.”

FOMO existed before social media, but the feeling has intensified because of our desire for constant online connection. In the past, being part of the group was integral to our survival, and today this need remains hardwired in our DNA. Being socially connected gives us access to information and resources. Whether it’s knowing the latest political events or finding a cheap airline ticket, the desire to be connected and make the most of our online resources remains strong.

Of course, no one likes to feel out of the loop. As clinical psychologist Anita Sanz explains, there is a biological response at play here. “Not having vital information or getting

Social media has intensified the fear of missing out. Historically, being part of a group was integral to our survival.

Now #FOMO sends us scurrying to our phones to feel a sense of belonging with our group in the virtual world. the impression that one is not a part of the ‘in’ group is enough for many individuals’ amygdalae to engage the stress or activation response, or the fight or flight response.” This could explain our compulsion to constantly check in on our social media. In 2016, on average, anglophone Canadians between 18 and 34 spent nearly five hours per day on the Internet, according to a Media Technology Monitor study.

By restricting our social media use, or finding other creative ways to express ourselves, we can alleviate that compulsion. But reducing screen time and replacing it with activities that make us happy, without the intention of posting about them, is just one solution. Spending time with people, instead of curating our lives on social media, makes relationships feel more meaningful. Talking to strangers, or even chatting with the people at the bus stop, can replace a quick screen scroll, and usually feels quite satisfying, too.

Limiting the number of platforms we use, and restricting where and when we connect, makes sense. After all, not everything is as magical as it appears online, and life is pretty good when we aren’t comparing ourselves to others. n MAY 2018

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Going with the

FLOW Being in the zone.

Hitting peak performance. A runner’s high. This is the flow state. For 20-year-old Avalon Wasteneys, this is the ideal state to be in for competition. As an Olympic prospect in rowing and a second-year Psychology student at the University of Victoria, she understands how sports goes beyond the fundamentals of physical athleticism.

Yet, contrary to popular belief, or at least what you see in movies, Wasteneys isn’t walking around on competition day with a hoodie over her head and headphones jammed on

HOW OLYMPIC PROSPECT AVALON WASTENEYS GETS INTO THE FLOW STATE, AND YOU CAN, TOO.

BY R I Z A LY N P A L A F O X

to her ears, the international indication for whether in a competition or a musical compo“Please, don’t talk to me.” To an outsider, she is sition. Csikszentmihályi’s research led him to calm and social, while in her mind she visualconclude that there are eight characteristics an izes the strokes she will soon be taking. individual experiences in the state of flow (see The term flow state was coined by psycholsidebar, opposite). ogist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, a leading These eight attributes come together researcher in positive psychology, who to allow a state in which individuals FLOW spent more than 25 years researching are “completely involved in an STATE humans and their ability to become sinactivity for its own sake.” When this gularly absorbed in activities. occurs, according to CsíkszentmiThis mental state allows individuals to hályi, “the ego falls away. Time flies. Every be deeply consumed in the present moment, action, movement, and thought follows inevi-

Competitive rowing is one of the world’s most physically demanding sports.

Concentration and teamwork are key.

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PHOTO: FULL-STROKE PHOTOGRAPHY/ANTHONY ENCARNACION

tably from the previous one.”

We reach this state when our brain is stimulated above the average level, which releases neurotransmitters like norepinephrine, endorphin, serotonin, anandamide and oxytocin.

This basically means that the brain is experiencing the same whirlwind of feelings and sensations that we feel in moments of excitement, pain or even sexual pleasure—but all at once, and for potentially long periods of time. That’s a lot of sensations to have going on, and it can only last so long. But as great as it would be to have a heightened sense of emotions and alertness, Wasteneys explains, “I find that amount of focus can be mentally draining if you are in it for a prolonged period of time.”

It’s also not possible to be in this state all the time because not everything in life evokes such a strong sense of passion. Csíkszentmihályi’s theory suggests that the flow state is experienced when we find that one goal that allows us to become completely immersed in a task.

So what does it take to get ourselves into the state of flow? Many neuroscientists believe our brainwaves in this state are similar to when we are meditating. As we delve deeper into our state of consciousness, clearing our mind of all distractions and focusing on the particular task at hand is the first step on our way to flow. Getting to this state is just like starting a regular meditation: Stop what you’re doing.

Sit down or stand up; just make sure your whole body is comfortable and your spine is aligned. Your eyes can be open or closed, again, whatever is comfortable for you.

Take a deep breath. Hold it for a moment. Exhale slowly. Do this again, but begin to focus on each breath. Be aware of each breath and your body’s reaction to it. Shift your mind from your breathing and into the actions you are about to engage in, whether it’s the stroke of your oar as it hits the water or your paintbrush hitting a blank canvas. Somewhere along the way, and you may not even realize it, your body shifts into this intrinsic state where all your focus has shifted to the activity that

you’ve put your mind to.

You may not recognize it’s happening, especially during a game or competition, but Csíkszentmihályi’s eight characteristics of flow have just taken over. “Depending on the level of difficulty or importance of the race or test, I find myself becoming extremely immersed in my thoughts and focused on pre-competition steps,” Wasteneys explains, describing the tunnel vision that often accompanies such hyper-focus. This is not to say that getting into a flow state is easy as a few breathing exercises, but it’s certainly an essential component.

Having raced competitively as a cross-country skier for most of her life, Wasteneys was already gaining national recognition in the sport before she switched to rowing three years ago. Once again, she is a force to be reckoned with, but this time on the water. Wasteneys’ Olympic potential was recognized last year when she won the Royal Bank of Canada’s RBC Training Ground talent identification and funding program, beating more than 100 of B.C.’s top athletes. “I know I have what it takes to push myself to go farther,” she says.

With her love for rowing, Wasteneys believes she has found that thing—the activity of Csíkszentmihályi’s theory which finds the ideal balance between challenge and skill.

“Having confidence in myself and my abilities to perform enables me to relax and find my flow mode almost instantaneously,” she says. While the pressure of being an athlete never goes away, being able to cancel out the noise of not only those around her, but even her own selfdoubt, can help her get back to the fundamentals of the sport.

Carefully lowering herself into a lightweight, fiberglass racing shell, Wasteneys perches on the sliding seat and finds her port oar while her teammate takes starboard. As she glides to her starting position, she grasps the oar with both hands, slowly exhales, and feels the oar drive through the water in one harmonious movement as she pushes with her legs, and drives the oar to her chest. She inhales as she recovers, and brings her body forward once more. She feels the wheels under her seat, allows her hands to guide her forward to the catch, and gives in to the rhythm of the oar, the whoosh of the water and the bubbles beneath the boat.

This is the cycle, stroke after stroke. As Wasteneys and her teammate move into position, her mental focus is intense, soon to be matched by her physical output. Wasteneys’ body and mind shift as she breathes and she hits her flow as she pulls away from the start at the sharp crack of the starting gun. ■

Mihály Csíkszentmihályi’s

STATE OF FLOW

The mental state in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity.

CLARITY

CONCENTRATION An athlete’s consciousness delves deeply into the activity at hand, regardless of what’s going on beyond the game or competition.

CONTROL An athlete has a sense of feeling deliberate control over his/her actions and movements.

TIME An altered perception of time to the athlete’s advantage.

FLOW

The mind is clear of all other distractions before and during competition or a game.

CHALLENGE AND SKILL There is an equal amount of challenge and skill for the athlete.

EFFORTLESSNESS A sense of ease and harmony in an athlete’s actions.

ACTION AND CONSCIOUSNESS No sense of worry, fear, distractions or selfconscious rumination during a competition or game.

Not only the achievements but the actions themselves leave the athlete feeling fulfilled.

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Stage

PRESENCE FLOW, BUDDHISM AND ROCK & ROLL. INDIE-ROCKER ALEC PERKINS, OF INDIGO INDIGO, REFLECTS ON THE ROLE OF FLOW STATE IN THE CREATIVE PROCESS. B Y R A C H E L D ’SA

Sweat drips from the shaggy,

blonde hair swept across the face of guitarist Alec Perkins as he stomps on his guitar pedals.

His body moves to the electric whirl of his amp, rocking back and forth, dipping down and back up, matching the soundscapes of his Dunlop CryBaby. He is in his zone.

To the lead guitarist of Vancouver-based, indie-rock band Indigo Indigo, flow state is an essential component of his practice. “I never quite understood it as a kid. My guitar teacher always brought up something that he called ‘the flow,’ saying that he recommended trying it, but I didn’t get what he was getting at,” says Perkins. “Around five or seven years ago I found myself completely consumed by music. I had been dealing with my parents’ divorce and I turned to great artists like Funkadelic and The Red Hot Chili Peppers to find a distraction.

That’s when I found the flow.”

More commonly known as the flow, or the zone, flow state refers to the mental state of operation in which an individual, engaged in a particular activity, is deeply consumed in the process. As people in the zone focus intensely on the task at hand however, their environment, including space and time, is forgotten. The concept was given its name in 1975 by psychologist

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Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, upon his observation that while the group has of the intense mental state. its rocky moments getFlow state is not to be mistaken with hyperting into the songwriting focus, though the two share many characterprocess, the members istics. According to a 2016 Huffington Post ultimately make it out the article titled, “Flow State: What It Is and How other side. “When we get to Achieve It,” hyperfocus is typically given a to that point where we’re bad reputation, since it tends to be associated all struggling, we know with honing in on one aspect of a project rather it’s because the best is yet than the whole. In his 1990 book, Csíkszentmito come,” he says, “I think hályi describes flow state as being “like playing that’s why we’ve stuck together for so many jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re years—we all understand that whole concept using your skills to the utmost.” and the process and the struggle before things Creativity is known to boost our neuroget good.” chemistry, providing those who utilize The process of flow state occurs in FLOW their creative sides with benefits such as four phases: the struggle phase, release STATE increased awareness and problem-solvphase, flow state and recovery phase. ing skills, and decreased stress and anxPhase one simply presents the task at iety. In today’s society however, ‘zoning hand. “When we begin the songwriting out’ or taking the time to indulge in a creative process, we talk things out and try to get on outlet has negative connotations, since it’s the same page so we can all work towards the often associated with laziness. As more people same feel,” explains Perkins. He notes that recognize flow state as a useful tool, however, this struggle phase is named for a reason. Each many are beginning to incorporate the concept band member comes from a different musical into their everyday practice. “When I’m with background, ranging from metal to reggae to the [band], and we’re going at it and we’re just jazz, further challenging the group to push past writing, papers can fly and next thing you know creative blocks. we’ve got a song down,” says Perkins, noting In the release phase, the brain begins to PHOTO: ISTOCK

convert processes from conscious to subconscious, a state of mind that Perkins believes is where the magic takes place. “Just before we hit the ground running, there’s a moment when we all work at the same groove. It’s like a baby giraffe walking for the first time,” he says. “At first, we’re rocky, we’re just trying to map out a skeleton of a groove.” From there, the band begins to enter the state of flow, building off each other’s energy to feed the evolving project. “After a solid writing session, we usually end up with chicken-scratched papers and a bunch of five- or six-second voice recordings of the various sections we wrote. From there, we go into what they call the recovery phase and we piece everything together,” he continues.

“We know we’re happy with a song when all we want to do is play it on a continuous loop.”

Returning to his pedalboard, Perkins hunches over his amp, a Fender Super 112.

His Stratocaster causes the silver beast to ring loudly as he forces his settings to dance with each other. Playing his nano reverb and carbon copy like a matador taunting a bull with a red cape, he dives headfirst into the rolling soundscape. “There’s a sense of feeling more than what you normally feel capable of when you play like there’s no sense of time,” he says.

“Growing up as a creative individual, you’re told to focus on what’s ‘important’—school and a career. Nobody took the time to explain to me the importance of keeping aware and mindful.”

For Perkins, practicing mindfulness can come in many forms, but the important thing is to start somewhere. Not everyone has had the chance to find a niche where they want to

focus their energy. “It’s easy to get lost in the face value of our creative outlets,” says Perkins.

For a professional musician or songwriter, this could mean how many paying gigs you perform in a year, or what you earn in royalties, CD sales, per-stream payouts or from selling merchandise.

Perkins’ response? Go with flow. “I read a lot of Buddhist teachings, and one of the main ideas is that the world is only appearance, and only through calming and maintaining discipline over our own mind can we really achieve peace. I guess in a sense it’s really where mindfulness comes from,” he says. “Whether you choose to meditate towards it, or you find yourself completely consumed ‘by accident,’ being in that state of complete bliss is one of life’s most beautiful attributes.” n MAY 2018

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“Rolling� as therapy.

Despite suffering from PTSD, DeCroo finds opportunities for growth amid the crush and complexity, the submission chokes and locks of Jiu Jitsu.

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the

PEACEFUL warrior RODNEY DECROO GIVES HIMSELF A FIGHTING CHANCE AGAINST THE TRAUMATIC EFFECTS OF YEARS-LONG ABUSE AND ADDICTION. THE UNLIKELY VEHICLE FOR HIS ACCELERATED RECOVERY: THE BRAZILIAN MARTIAL ART, JIU JITSU.

I

It’s a Friday night and just off Vancouver’s Commercial Drive, in a dimly lit subterranean room with mirrored walls, two men square off. Within moments they’re both clinched on the ground, tumbling, backs flared with exertion. Strong hands grasp lapels but then are ripped away until they reassert themselves on sleeves, around wrists. Though their breathing is ragged the men’s faces are expressionless until one— an athletic man with tattoos flashing out from under his cuffs and open jacket—manages to pin the other, grinding his shoulder into his opponent’s face, turning it to the floor.

The one lying on his back, a younger Anthony Hopkins-type, grimaces silently, enduring the discomfort. His forehead glistens with sweat, his face a mask of forbearance. Methodically, he counters by wedging one arm under his opponent’s abdomen and pushing the blade of his other forearm across his adversary’s throat. Then, aggressively bridging his body and sliding his hips side to side, he manages to break free. But the respite is short. A few moves later, in a fluid motion, the man slips one arm around Hopkins’ neck from behind, deftly latching onto the bicep of his other arm, and locks onto Hopkins’ back in a tight hold. He hooks the heels of both feet inside Hopkins’ legs. This time the grimace is deeper and strangled. A brief fight to tear away the choking arm is followed by a quick tap-tap. The man releases Hopkins immediately. They roll onto their knees, breathing hard, straightening their

story by MILANA BUCAN photography by EKATERINA USMANOVA

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Roy Duquette, owner of Spartacus Gym on Commercial Drive, is DeCroo’s instructor: ”I consider Rodney my biggest success as a teacher.”

clothes. They face each other and after a quick bro-pound, they go at it again.

To say that Rodney DeCroo, 51, resembles Anthony Hopkins is to say that his face has character. A deeply-lined, distinctive face that hints at earned experience, none of it easy.

A lock of hair carefully groomed into place speaks of someone who is conscious of how he looks. Someone for whom it matters how he is perceived. Since he is a performer—a singer-songwriter, poet and actor—this impression of DeCroo would be correct. Since he is a recovering addict and a childhood victim of physical, sexual and emotional abuse, the impression of a hard life is also dead accurate. Just five years ago, DeCroo’s immediate reaction to any physical confrontation might have been unmitigated violence.

DeCroo first met his adversary, gym owner and martial arts instructor Roy Duquette, four years ago. “DeCroo first stepped on the mats

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in spring of 2014 as an unpredictable, spastic, insecure, egotistical, self-centered, narcissistic time-bomb waiting to explode,” wrote Duquette in a Facebook post. “He started asking me questions about how to improve his fitness and his cardio, and he told me that he was a musician, a songwriter, a performer. This was the first time he humanized himself. Week by week and month by month, DeCroo’s dedication, perseverance and persistence started to change him.” The post was written to acknowledge DeCroo’s accomplishment in earning a blue belt three years after that first meeting.

On this February afternoon, DeCroo sits just inside the entrance of his regular cafe near his home of 27 years on Commercial Drive in east Vancouver. Relaxed, he wears dark denim jeans and a hoodie with an oversized winter down jacket. As he stands to greet me, his hand goes up to move that characteristic lock of hair out of his eyes. He’s kindly taking a break from

working hard to memorize 87 pages of a script for a David Harrower play titled Blackbird, a play that takes the stage next month. DeCroo is also a published poet and a singer who last year released his eighth album, Old Tenement Man. DeCroo was born in Pittsburgh and mostly grew up there until his father, who had deserted the US Marines after serving in the Vietnam War, brought them to B.C. His mother took them back to Pittsburgh, but DeCroo returned here when he was 16 to rejoin his father, moving around northern B.C. and the Kootenays, before settling by himself in Vancouver. In a Georgia Straight article about DeCroo’s work, Rebecca Blissett wrote of his childhood: “DeCroo had an upbringing that might charitably be described as fucked.

Poverty, violence, and abuse—physical and mental—were all part of a cocktail that left deep scars well into adulthood.” It wasn’t until he was in his 30s that DeCroo was officially

years of traumatic events. Like many others, he used drugs and alcohol to deaden the pain.

In 1999, he tried to find a permanent solution in suicide, and was hospitalized after an unsuccessful attempt.

After getting sober 18 years ago, DeCroo tried many paths to healing, including therapy, meditation and physical activity. “My therapy was going okay,” DeCroo recalls.

“I was progressing, but I was progressing slowly. And then I met Roy Duquette who owns Spartacus Gym down on Commercial Drive. A lot of my trauma was associated with violence, and BJJ is exposure to violence contained by safe practice and technique.”

BJJ, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, is a martial art that focuses on grappling and ground fighting, promoting the concept that a smaller, weaker person can defend himself through technique. Size, strength, and stamina are obvious factors in winning a fight, but a strong mind and the ability to maintain presence and keep calm are also fundamental elements. It’s a violent sport nonetheless, one that brought DeCroo flashbacks.“I would go into Jiu Jitsu and I would be triggered over and over again. But the way you deal with triggers is by being in the moment and BJJ puts you in the moment by having you focus on technique and your training partner,” DeCroo explains.

Duquette wrote of DeCroo’s process in his Facebook post, “It was a means of immersing

he could get physical in a controlled environment and with a handful of other practitioners.

He could repeatedly deal with his emotions.

Even though at times he felt vulnerable and deflated, the practice forced him to think about his opponents and their well-being too.

Despite outwardly looking like an adversarial interaction, BJJ involves symbiotic relationships hinging on reciprocal trust and the willingness to help each other improve. The behaviour that PTSD elicits is the antithesis of that. “You react to PTSD,” says DeCroo, “you make mistakes. You’re overreacting. You’re isolating and constantly destroying relationships, constantly destroying careers, constantly in state of crisis. PTSD treatment is essential and there’s just no way around it, you have to get help.”

As his coach and mentor, Duquette firmly believed that with hard work and dedication DeCroo would be able to use Brazilian Jiu Jitsu as a means to help him align all aspects of his life. And Duquette understood that there was a certain urgency. He didn’t sugarcoat his words and he put pressure on DeCroo, forcing him to do better and keep going.

“You’re not young,” Duquette told him.

“You’ve already fucked up your life, you’ve messed up your career, you’ve damaged your health, and you need to do everything right starting today. There’s no time.”

“In my teens, and then into my twenties, the things I chose to do, I kept exposing myself to more trauma,” admits Decroo. “With the drugs and alcohol I was always exposed to violence. It’s been a long process but along the way I had people who inspired me to write poetry and music, to pursue the arts and help me recover.”

For DeCroo, BJJ is just one part of this process, albeit an important one.

“Self-care is what it comes down to: seven to eight hours of sleep, nourishing food. I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. I have an exercise regimen; a workout of some kind is important. For me, I have to go to my 12-step program. I have to practice my passion of creating poetry, music and acting, and ultimately doing something that I love to do,” says DeCroo.

Caring for himself, caring for others, and doing what he loves to do even when uncomfortable—DeCroo is still in a constant fight but sometimes fighting is necessary to find some peace. ■

As his coach and mentor, Duquette firmly believed that with hard work and dedication DeCroo would be able to use Brazilian Jiu Jitsu as a means to help him align all aspects of his life. And Duquette understood that there was a certain urgency. He didn’t sugarcoat his words. He put pressure on DeCroo, forcing him to do better and keep going. diagnosed with PTSD. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can develop in people who have experienced a single traumatic event in their life. Physical symptoms include chronic pain years after the event, substance addictions, depression and anxiety, and difficulties maintaining relationships and jobs. People with PTSD often have flashbacks, nightmares and bad dreams that can become so severe that they interfere with everyday routines and tasks. DeCroo’s PTSD comes from

himself into the darkest side from his past, and learning to swim and navigate in those murky waters, instead of fearing it and running away from it. Using Jiu Jitsu as his vehicle, Decroo has learned to overcome his own ego and gain control over the demons that used to lead him down the dark path of self-destruction. A walking time-bomb no more.”

For DeCroo, three to four nights a week the small underground room in Spartacus Gym padded with floor mats became his haven. Here

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tneB out of shape

THE WHITEWASHING OF YOGA IN WESTERN SOCIETY NEEDS A CLOSER LOOK.

by RAMNEET KANG

L

ast year, in March of 2017, UBC Recreation organized a “Yoga Rave,” which consisted of a massive yoga class featuring DJs and glow-in-the-dark paint. It became a controversial event that raised concerns among students. While some suggested the event defeated the purpose of the practice as it contradicted its meditative nature, others were more concerned about cultural appropriation.

The Ubyssey (The University of British Columbia’s student newspaper) published an article shortly after the event in which Dr. Adheesh Sathaye, a UBC professor in the Department of Asian Studies, asserted that although the commodification of yoga can be detrimental to its heritage, it also creates a space of inclusivity and pushes individuals to further explore and respect its origins.

“Philosophically, it’s not grounded in any one religion.

It allows you to practice whatever religion you want. It just shows you one way to do it, which is oriented towards the body,” said Sathaye. “I think the way to do it is to differentiate the philosophy from the practice. These are two different histories.”

In a health-centric city like Vancouver, where Lululemon is all the rage and you can find a yoga studio every few blocks in Kitsilano, there’s no denying yoga’s popularity. In a way, it demonstrates our society’s longing for connection, stillness, and spiritual fulfillment. However, it’s critical that we understand that yoga is much more than a trendy exercise; we must be mindful of its historical roots and true meaning.

What we think comes from India actually came from a place whose current geopolitical borders didn’t even exist

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AFTER LOSING HER GRANDFATHER IN 2010, GILL TOOK A TRIP TO INDIA WHERE SHE FOUND AYURVEDA, AND EVERYTHING SHE’D BEEN FASCINATED WITH AS A CHILD CAME BACK FULL CIRCLE.

before British colonization and partition. More importantly, what a lot of people don’t know is that yoga and Ayurveda (the traditional system of medicine in India that uses diet, herbal treatment, and yogic breathing) was banned in South Asia under British rule and colonization. The practices millions of Westerners now turn to for alternative health therapies were intentionally eradicated to the point where lineages of practitioners were broken and thousand-year traditions were lost.

I spoke to Navi Gill, a wellness entrepreneur specializing in holistic wellness education, Ayurvedic therapy, lifestyle consulting and yoga about what inspired her to pursue a career in health and wellness.

After losing her grandfather in 2010, Gill took a trip to India where she found Ayurveda and everything she’d read and been fascinated with as a child (astrology, folktales, natural remedies and healing). “I never felt something resonate so strongly, so after years of trying to fit into a corporate box, I couldn’t deny that my path in life and in my career had to encompass the spiritual path, healing and Ayurveda,” she said.

Gill prefers to teach slow-paced yoga classes with a strong focus on breathing, something the west would refer to as hatha, yin or restorative style. “I also like to understand the sequencing according to Ayurveda and how it will affect the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual body as a whole,” she says. Gill likes to help others find inner stability and clarity, given the busy and chaotic nature of our nine-to-five lives, and so she avoids distracting hot yoga and power classes.

PHOTOS: COURTESY NAVI GILL

A common misconception that westerners have regarding the practice of yoga is that anyone can become an instructor with a bit of training. But Navi tells me that learning yoga in India requires a guru passing the knowledge down to the disciple. “In the past this sacred knowledge was not available to or attainable by everyone. Like anything, when things are mass-produced and there’s no controlling body, deviations will happen and you lose the authenticity.”

With yoga, the forms of cultural appropriation we see are subtle but happen on many levels from the messaging we receive from major brands and media to Sanskrit mantras printed on clothing. When you aren’t mindful of trying to understand the true context of yoga and Ayurveda, you fail to see the issues in it being commercialized for profit.

In her 20s, Gill found it difficult to feel comfortable and welcomed in wellness spaces that were predominantly white. She struggled with feeling confident, often felt small and insignificant, and says it was a challenge to be seen, heard, and valued for her experience. Her feelings highlighted just how detached her own community members had become from their ancestral knowledge, which was now being sold back to them.

While Gill believes that wellness is a necessity for everyone, she also believes that it can’t be isolated as a luxury for the elite or the white. “We have to do our absolute best to preserve the authenticity and reclaim our own indigenous wisdom. If we don’t take the responsibility now we will lose it.”

This realization reminded Gill how important her role is as an Ayurvedic practitioner and educator of Indian descent. “If I don’t do my share, little brown girls and boys will forever be disconnected and feel like this wisdom is not theirs to share or have and that’s just something I am not okay with,” she explains.

Inherent within the basic teachings of yoga (which means “union”), is that yoga is for everyone. “Yoga is inclusive. It’s for you and me and everybody... You won’t like every teacher or every class style, but you’re the one doing the work. If you go, sit, breathe, and move, I promise you, you’ll feel better than when you walked in,” says Gill.

If you like practicing yoga, there’s nothing wrong with that. That’s not where the problem lies. The problem is

A holistic wellness educator, Ayurvedic therapist, and yoga instructor of Indian descent, Navi Gill asserts her right to her ancestral knowledge.

with those who choose to remain ignorant of South Asian history, its complexity, and the challenges that its cultures have faced in the West.

When we are mindful of yoga’s true meaning and origin, when we treat it with respect, and pass its wisdom on with the same integrity with which it was introduced, we do our part in preventing its re-colonization. So the next time your yoga teacher guides you in a Sanskrit mantra, enquire about its meaning, pronunciation, and history. When you buy new yoga apparel, consider what the printed symbols represent, and if you devote hours towards perfecting a new pose, maybe spend a fraction of that time exploring its textual meaning and significance. ■ MAY 2018

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STARVE YOURSELF, FEED YOUR T MIND

“Wet,” “dry,” “intermittent” or merely overnight, fasting is a centuries-old practice with physical, mental and spiritual benefits worth all the stomach-growling.

by TIA KUTSCHERA FOX

he practice of fasting has been around for centuries. Plato fasted for “greater physical and mental efficiency,” while Benjamin Franklin believed “the best of all medicines are resting and fasting.” Fasting can be generally defined as purposely abstaining from food for a set period of time.

However, there are multiple categories of fasting. A dry fast is defined as abstaining from food and water for a predetermined period of time, while a water fast is not eating any food but still drinking water. Finally, there is Intermittent Fasting (IF), which is simply not eating for a certain number of hours per day rather than going whole days without food. A common IF is referred to as 16/8—meaning fasting for 16 hours and eating only within the remaining eight-hour window. This means if you eat at 7 p.m. then you would wait until 11 a.m. the next day to eat again. .

People fast for physical, mental or spiritual reasons. Many religions

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PHOTO: SHUTTERSTOCK

observe a period of fasting. There are approximately 20 distinctive reliof healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle. I try to practice mindful eating. gions that encourage this ritual. Ramadan, Yom Kippur, and Fast Sundays When I do that, I find myself eating less anyways, but I’m trying to be are just a few examples. Each of these have their own rules and reasons, mindful of what I’m eating; I try to stop for a second, ask if I really need but in general religious fasting is for self-sacrifice or to become closer to this, am I really craving this, or is it just because I just saw a piece of cake?

God. Sister Giles and Sister Kim, missionaries and lifelong members of the I try to be mindful in my own life.”

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS), share the significance of From the fully holistic perspective Hillaree Branoff, of the Four Pillars fasting in their church: “The purpose of fasting is showing our sacrifice and Healing Arts Center in California, does not think fasting and mindfulness showing that we really want to gain the blessings from our heavenly father,” go hand in hand. Branoff is an Ayurvedic practitioner. Ayurveda is a tradiexplains Sister Kim. Like many religions, the LDS church has a certain tional Hindu system of medicine, which is based on the idea of balance in time for fasting. “The church sets aside the first Sunday of the month as a bodily systems and uses diet, herbal treatment, and yogic breathing. Not Fast Sunday. You don’t have to fast; it’s when you want, whenever you need surprisingly, Branoff believes the best way to take care of the body is to eat answers to prayers or spiritual strength,” adds Sister Giles. a balanced diet, and be healthy.

As a show of sacrifice and seriousness in getting “I think that fasting without supervision can be harmanswers, LDS members donate the money they would ful. It can be really damaging; it can turn people’s diges“MINDFULNESS IS have used for food as a fast offering to the church. Accordtive fire off. What I have a hard time with is that fasting is KEY FOR MAKING ing to the LDS website, “Fast offerings are used for one becoming super trendy,” Branoff explains. She includes purpose only: to bless the lives of those in need. Every trends like juice cleanses and soup diets in the fasting LIFE CHOICES. “IT’S dollar given to the bishop as a fast offering goes to assist category, saying they aren’t healthy or sustainable. She the poor.” Sister Giles admits that it isn’t always easy, espeTHE MOST IMPORT- focuses heavily on mindfulness in conjunction with eatcially when she’s around friends or family who aren’t fasting. To Branoff, mindfulness “[is] the awareness and abilANT THING. IF YOU ing. “I think you feel more hungry,” Sister Giles says with a ity to focus your mind and the power of your attention, so laugh, “because you are consciously making the decision we can be mindful while we wash the dishes, it’s not just FOLLOW A BUNCH not to eat but if you just miss a meal you don’t really notice about meditating.” She emphasizes that mindfulness is OF RULES BECAUSE key for making life choices. it as much.” Sister Kim adds, “I think as we fast we feel, not more hungry, but just the feeling that we need something, “It’s the most important thing. If you follow a bunch SOMEONE TOLD not just food.” LDS fasting begins with a purpose and a of rules just because someone told you to do it, you might prayer, and is finished with a prayer. not reap the benefits, because you might not have the YOU TO DO IT, YOU Negar Bayat, who is finishing her fifth year of a dietetawareness.”

MIGHT NOT REAP ics program in Vancouver, weighs in on intermittent fastMindfulness can also be applied to many different ing, as it is particularly popular in the health community. aspects of eating, not just during the actual meal. People THE BENEFITS, “[So] many people are talking about doing intermittent can focus on where their food comes from, whether the BECAUSE YOU fasting, and you can see so many different celebrities or food has been processed or sprayed with chemicals, the even so many doctors, or so-called doctors,” Bayat chuckconditions of the people harvesting the food, how far it MIGHT NOT HAVE les, “who talk about fasting and its benefits.” was shipped to get to their table, whether animals were THE AWARENESS.” Many in this community are very quick to talk about abused to produce the food, etc. Branoff mentions that the health benefits, but Bayat points out that the evidence an important aspect of being a holistic practitioner is to –Hillaree Branoff isn’t conclusive. “There have been a few studies on interteach her patients how to be more aware of their own mittent fasting and the benefits on weight loss, cancer body. protection, heart health, diabetes, and even on cognition “Most of my life I had stomachaches after I ate; I and other things, and they have shown so many benefits of intermittent thought that was normal. I had to become mindful of what made my stomfasting, but it’s still not clear if it’s really effective,” Bayat explains. “In ach ache.” During meals an easy mindfulness practice is to focus on how most cases they think it might be because of the weight-loss aspect of it, the body feels during and after eating. Tiredness, aches, gas and bloating because it’s now evident that weight loss can improve diabetes or can help can all be signs of a food that is hurting more than helping the body. Trying you to improve your lipid profile. It’s still not clear if it’s because of the to eat healthy can be really complicated and stressful, which is why Branoff intermittent fasting eating pattern or because of the weight loss.” is an advocate for coaching. “I think everyone needs a coach—relationship What is clear is that intermittent fasting does cause weight loss. This coaches, physical coaches, and I think we need food coaches too. People to is mainly because by limiting eating to a certain number of hours a day, help you become aware or mindful of when you eat certain things.” you will generally consumer fewer calories. This isn’t a miracle weightBranoff has been practicing Ayurveda since 2010 with the help of loss solution however. “There are some health benefits with it, but it’s her own mentor Dr. Paul Dugliss, and it changed her life. “I was always really hard to tell if it’s effective for everyone,” Bayat says, “and there is sick before [Ayurveda]. I had acne and migraines and stomachaches and no data on the long-term safety of it. Dieticians don’t feel comfortable chronic lung infections; it just went on and on. Now I rarely get sick,” she recommending it to their clients. One thing dieticians like to promote reports. “I feel balanced and grounded and it feels really peaceful.” Branoff is eating in moderation; they don’t like a type of restriction with eating.” admits that if someone absolutely insists on trying a fast, an overnight one There are potential short-term consequences, too. “The problem with is where to begin. “Start at 7 p.m and then eat again at 7 a.m. And that is intermittent fasting is it’s kind of risky because it can trigger eating disthe most perfect fast you can do.” orders,” says Bayat. Dieticians tend to focus more on scientific evidence Whether someone is fasting to improve mind, body, or soul, it’s importand best practice when it comes to their patients, but mindfulness can ant to proceed carefully, eat a balanced diet, and to prioritize health over come into play on a more personal level. “I think mindfulness is a big part perfection. n MAY 2018

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Me, Myself, and I

NARCISSISTIC OR NURTURING? AN EXAMINATION OF SELFIES AND SELF-WORTH.

story & photography by MEGAN ORR

I

“But first, let me take a selfie!” t was The Chainsmoker’s 2014 club anthem and a word added to Webster’s dictionary in 2013.

Selfies have been making eyes roll and likes grow for nearly a decade, if not longer. Whether it be a pic of that bangin’ new outfit, your hair doing that thing you like, or just a #feelingmyself moment, we are all guilty of snapping the occasional selfie. It is a cultural phenomenon, and like most popular trends, it has people worried. Selfie-takers are narcissistic, self-obsessed and addicted to social media, or at least according to popular discourse on the topic. However, it isn’t all bad. The selfie can actually be used in a variety of positive ways, including boosting self-esteem.

The majority of research on selfies and social media usage tends to focus on the negative effects. Arguably, while this research is not entirely flawed, it does seek to invalidate the reason why people take a selfie in the first place: because they think they look good. Another way of thinking about selfies is to treat them like they are a new concept. While it’s true that, with smartphone technologies and social media,

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photos are easier to take and share, the selfie itself is not revolutionary. From cave drawings and oil paintings to Polaroids, disposable cameras and cell phones, people have been creating images of themselves with whatever tools they can find since pre-historic times. You could argue that narcissism is just a part of human nature. The selfie, as it currently exists, is only a modern, digital representation of it.

In many ways, the negativity surrounding selfies comes from a place of fear and misunderstanding. Like anything, people may be doing it too much or for the wrong reasons, but no other person has the right to make that judgement call. Scientific research is quick to make the correlation between selfies and narcissism as well as lowered self-esteem and diminished life satisfaction. The dialogue surrounding the topic tends to be polarized. Take two different articles from Psychology Today, one from 2014 titled Selfies Are About Self-Love, and another from 2017 titled, Do Selfies Make Us Self-Conscious? Neither article really tells a full story about what it means to take a picture of oneself, and the academic research is no better. Most selfies are taken in artificial or fleeting settings,

and it’s difficult to accurately gauge how people feel about themselves by simply researching their picture-taking habits.

Mads Kania-Paquette, a non-binary transgender person (meaning they do not identify as either male or female and use the gender neutral pronouns “they/them”), uses selfies as a form of recovery. It was a big step for them in overcoming the body dysphoria that they’ve struggled with for their entire life. “I never thought I would not wear a shirt anywhere,” says Kania-Paquette, “let alone put that online, but that I feel comfortable enough to is big. For me, anyway.”

Their use of the selfie isn’t a singular example either. Tags like #selflove, #nomakeup, and #feelingmyself posted with selfies online are meant to encourage users to post pictures of themselves. While research does back up the theory that taking selfies can be an inherently narcissistic act, other research provides evidence that self-photography plays a vital role in empowering individuals and reclaiming physical identities. As Kania-Paquette states, “If you’re happy, and celebrating that, and [feel]

like sharing that, I don’t see a problem with it.

People need to lighten up.”

One study of particular interest, conducted by Katrin Tiidenberg and published in Cyberpsychology, explored how sexual narratives can be expressed through self-shooting.

The paper examined these practices through a study of not-safe-for-work selfie shots posted on the blogging community Tumblr. Tiidenberg notes that “selfies are ubiquitous in our digitally saturated environments… self-shooting [is conceptualized] as a significant late-modern self-, and community-construction practice.” This plays an important role in the positive implications of self-shooting as it applies to active storytelling and body positivity, in that it can “serve as empowering exhibitionism that allows us to ‘reclaim a copyright to our lives.’” Along that same note, the users that Tiidenberg interviewed noted how selfies have impacted confidence in the Tumblr community by allowing a

safe space for self-expression.

A 2017 article by Fenella Souter in The Sydney Morning Herald proclaimed the selfie to be both a part of the narcissism epidemic, and the movement for empowerment. Souter writes that the selfie is vital to “the millennial conviction that loving yourself, and being public about it, is nothing to be embarrassed about.” She also defines the selfie as an act of defiance against what society expects from people, giving visibility to those who are not always visible in popular media.

Souter notes how selfie trends create communities online for people who are like-minded and look alike. Similarly, Kania-Paquette notes that within the trans community, seeing other people and their progress can be both helpful and important. They say confidence is something that can be hard to come by for folks who feel uncomfortable in their own skin, which can make sharing a picture online meaningful.

Kania-Paquette noted that before their surgery, a selfie was really a big deal, and in effect it was a message saying, “Hey, I’m having a good day. I feel like I should document that!”

In fact, there are some convincing arguments against selfies and excessive social media use. Posting a picture and receiving likes provides instant gratification, but comparison culture, which thrives in online communities like Instagram, can be damaging to self-esteem and mental health in general. Taking selfies can also be dangerous and the activity has been linked to numerous injuries and fatalities. India has the highest number of selfie-related deaths, with 76 recorded between March 2014 and September 2016, according to a 2016 report, My, Myself, and My Killfie.

“High-risk selfies” pose a physical risk, but a 2016 article by Karla Pequenino on cnn.com noted that the research on the selfie’s emotional impact is mixed. Pequenino notes that studies tend to find that looking at a lot of pictures of other people can be harmful, causing viewers to compare themselves unfavourably with others, but taking pictures of yourself can boost confidence. “In the end,” she says, “you’ll probably be the best judge of how selfies affect you.” n

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Silent treatment the

ESCAPE YOUR BUSY LIFE AND FIND PEACE AT A SILENT, 10-DAY VIPASSANA RETREAT: IT’S MORE AND LESS THAN YOU IMAGINE. story by SIERRA HOLMES

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PHOTO: NASH + KIM FINLEY

N

o texting. No television. No computers. No talking. No exercising.

No music. No writing. No reading.

No masturbation. No sex. No physical contact with anyone. Complete segregation of men and women. No tight or revealing clothing. No spiritual crystals.

No drugs, alcohol, or other intoxicants. No moving during meditation. All these are elements of a 10-day ancient Indian technique of meditation called vipassana, meaning “to see things as they really are.” It may not be for everyone, but Nicky (no last name, to protect her privacy), a 23-year-old from Vancouver, was looking for ways to combat her anxiety, and was willing to try just about anything.

The advertised purpose of such of asceticism?

To eliminate suffering; face problems in a calm and harmonious way; develop a better understanding of others; become happier; meet new people; and learn how to remain calm in the most daunting situations.

The retreat is an opportunity to become a more mindful and loving self. Now this sounds better.

At the time of her retreat, Nicky was working as a manager at Earls in Whistler Village. She was living a typical Whistler life: ski, party, work, yoga, drink, repeat. It was a phase in her life in which she said yes to as many invitations as possible. She was having great time, but knew it was not a sustainable lifestyle. While Nicky saw herself as having a stable mental state, she was often overly anxious and concerned about others’ opinions of her. On the surface she seemed fine, but inside she was struggling to find a way to cope. Research on anxiety treatments led to her discovery that meditation could have a better impact than prescription medications.

She was already practicing yoga daily, mainly yin and restorative yoga, which are heavily based on breathing and clearing one’s mind. This practice helped guide her towards meditation. She slowly started incorporating meditation and breathing practices into her everyday life. It was through her connection to the yoga community in Whistler that she heard about vipassana, specifically a retreat centre in Merritt, B.C., that offered a 10-day practice. “I didn’t do extensive research on it,” admits Nicky. “I thought it was as good as any. Plus, it was free! I found out about it in April and registered for the September session.”

Feeling hopeful, she threw herself into her first vipassana retreat. She woke up late on the morning of travel after a full night of drinking and partying,

BENEFITS OF VIPASSANA the end of a six-day bender. She was not packed for her journey to the retreat, had no vehicle, and was somehow supposed to travel from Whistler to Merritt in eight hours. She threw her bag together and only just made it onto the bus to Vancouver. In Vancouver she grabbed a few more essentials before boarding a Greyhound to Merritt.

Upon arrival, she was given paperwork to complete and instructed to hand over her phone. With that, she lost any form of contact with the outside world and surrendered to the experience for the next 10 days.

The facility was spartan, but clean and well-maintained. The buildings were located in a forest of lodgepole pine and surrounded by fields that were filled with exquisite wildflowers. Her bedroom, which she shared with a middle-aged woman, was about the size of two handicapped washroom stalls and contained no decorations or colour. As it was furnished with two bunkbeds, they each took a bottom bunk, leaving the upper beds empty.

The first day she describes feeling like she could accomplish anything. She was excited for the new experience. She thought that she would be fine and could handle whatever came her way. “Little did I know,” she says, “this feeling would change in less than 48 hours.”

At the first meditation practice in the hall, approximately 45 men and women, ranging from 18 to 81, entered through separate entrances, officially beginning the “Noble Silence” and the separation of men and women for the rest of the retreat. She was given a pamphlet which informed her that “all students must observe Noble Silence from the beginning of the course until the morning of the last full day. Noble Silence means silence of body, speech, and mind. Any form of communication with fellow students, whether by gestures, sign language, written notes, etc. is prohibited. Students should cultivate the feeling that they are working in isolation.”

For Nicky, the most challenging aspect of the first day was finding a comfortable position for the gruelling hours of meditation. She had two options: sitting cross-legged or on her knees. Despite the awkwardness, she nevertheless fell asleep during the first three meditations, no doubt due to her long, pre-departure nights of drinking and partying. She survived the first day.

“On the third day I thought I was going to die. I was not allowed to do anything!” Nicky recalls, “I took up showering as an activity three times a day

According to Newsmax. com, practicing meditation techniques such as vipassana produces five major health benefits: • Reduces negative emotions: The vipassana technique reduces stress and unpleasant emotions like anger which benefits a person’s mental health.

• Increases fertility: Stress can cause lower sperm count in men. Reducing stress will reverse this process. Practicing meditation can also help women remain stress-free during their monthly periods and increase the chances of conception.

• Enhances immune system: Reduction of stress helps boost the body’s natural ability to fight off threats.

• Lowers blood pressure: Daily meditation can help you lower blood pressure as the body releases fewer stress hormones that generally raise blood pressure.

• Provides anti-inflammatory properties. Meditation techniques assist in reducing and managing pain which, in turn, positively impacts conditions such as heart disease, asthma, arthritis and psoriasis.

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10 DAYS OF SILENCE AND MEDITATION: EASY, RIGHT? A WHISTLER PARTY GIRL TAKES ON THE CHALLENGE OF VIPASSANA RETREAT TO DEAL WITH HER ANXIETY. VERDICT: NOT EASY.

For Nicky, a daily practice of yoga led to meditation, which led to the vipassana retreat. The changes she experienced were subtle but significant.

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to occupy myself when we were not meditating, which to be honest was almost never since we were required to meditate 10 and a half hours every single day. I have never been so clean in my entire life.”

For best results, students were given a schedule and advised to follow it as closely as possible. Ten hours of meditation a day beginning at 4 a.m., tea breaks, two meals in the dining hall, followed by bedtime at 9:30 p.m.

Nicky would wake up to the morning bell at 4 a.m., roll over and skip the first two morning meditations.

She would then tumble out of bed and groggily make her way to the dining hall for breakfast.

The food was vegetarian, simple and satisfying. Every breakfast consisted of oatmeal, stewed prunes, fruit salad, toast and jelly. The centre served breakfast and lunch, but no dinner. Lunch often consisted of a protein, such as lentils, tofu or chickpeas, and a grain, almost always brown or white rice. On the side, participants would be served steamed or raw vegetables, a salad or kale. There would be something sweet provided at the end of lunch such as banana bread or a peanut butter cookie.

Something Nicky found interesting was that food became a huge source of comfort to her. She felt so isolated and out of place that she would find great comfort in simple foods like peanut butter slathered on hot toast.

Many people who embark on a vipassana retreat experience terrifying nightmares, and Nicky was no exception. “I never freaked out during a meditation; it was more at night that I would have anxiety,” Nicky says. “Most nightmares included all of my friends and family horrifically dying.” She found days five to seven to be the most challenging. During this period, about one-quarter of the group packed their bags and left. Nicky considered joining them, especially on day four, but she had promised herself, and others, that she was going to complete the full 10 days. As a competitive, strong-minded person, she didn’t want to disappoint herself or others.

The biggest struggle for her was learning to be fully present. She was in an unfamiliar place with many challenging thoughts running through her head, and it left her feeling isolated. She would sometimes hide in the bathroom to be by herself, or

sit down in the dirt of the field, surrounded by wildflowers so that no one could see her. There were times when she felt she was able to control her mind, banish distracting thoughts, and live completely in the present moment. In that state, hours would pass without her even being aware of their passing.

“I talked to myself sometimes. Muttering just to hear a voice and break the silence, making sure my voice still worked,” she admits. She remembers making up names and small narratives for the other participants, like “Purple Pillow Penelope,” “Hot Lesbian Blake,” “Old Grandma Jenny,” and “Cool Grandpa John.” She was impressed to see such an eclectic group of people and wide range of ages come together for the same purpose.

On the last day, Nicky was relieved to finally talk to the others. She introduced herself to her roommate and apologized for not being quiet enough.

She had convinced herself throughout the 10 days that her roommate hated her, but this turned out to be completely false. In fact her roommate told her how impressed she was that Nicky was so young and committed to doing something like vipassana. She wished her son had the strength to do a sitting.

Returning home was a shock for Nicky. She often found herself feeling overstimulated by the bright screens and constant distractions of normal life, while at the same time feeling appreciative of the small things she had once taken for granted.

While it wasn’t quite the magical, life-changing cure she had hoped for, she came to realize that small experiences could have a major impact on the way she observed and thought about things. It showed her that she could control her mind more than she realized, and she discovered she could observe her anxiety more objectively than before.

From the experience, Nicky believes she has learned to deal with her anxiety in a healthier way.

She sees vipassana as a good challenge, and encourages students to try it, to disconnect and “focus the mind on something different than school and work.”

A meditation retreat is unique experience for every individual. Specifically for people struggling with anxiety, high-stress environments, and overstimulation, it provides an important reminder to take the time to be quiet.

Sit with your breath. Observe your mental health.

Set an intention for the day and carry it through.

And always try to take 10—whether it’s in minutes or days, every little bit of mindfulness can make a difference. ■

PHOTO: COURTESY NICKY

What’s Brewing?

NO NEED TO GET ON A PLANE TO PERU TO EXPERIENCE THE HEALING BENEFITS OF AYAHUASCA, A PLANT MEDICINE USED FOR EVERYTHING FROM PERSONAL EXPLORATION TO TREATING DEPRESSION, PTSD AND ADDICTION. B.C. HAS A THRIVING (UNDERGROUND) COMMUNITY OF FACILITATORS.

BY F R E YA WA ST E N E YS

PHOTO: BRIAN VAN TIGHEM / ALAMY STOCK PHOTO

D

own a gravel road alongside a picturesque river, Vancouver Island’s lush second-growth opens up to a small clearing and an unassuming settlement. A mellow, white dog wanders around the property, lolling between the main cabin, a large yurt, a vegetable garden, an artist studio and a tarped mound that turns out to be a sweat lodge. Rows of vehicles hint at those in attendance.

There are the expected hippie-sleepers—VW vans and the like—but the odd BMW and mini-van are notable in the mix.

This weekend, a small cross-section of society has converged on this quiet corner of the Island to experience what’s been described in correspondence as a “plant-based meditation.” This is one of the many covert ayahuasca retreats where people have gathered to be led in ceremony by trained facilitators. Protected by word-of-mouth, and a case-by-case trust system, the location is suitably remote, but not quite the trek to South America that was once required.

Ayahuasca, or yagé, is a brew made primarily from stems of the ayahuasca vine (Banisteriopsis caapi), and most often boiled with the leaves of the chacruna plant (Psychotria viridis). Bitter to taste, the concoction is deeply rooted in the spiritual practices of the indigenous peoples of South America. On their own, the ingredients have no effect, but when combined, the MAO inhibitor of the ayahuasca vine allows the DMT of the chacruna plant to enter the circulatory system.

The effect is an intense, spiritual psychoactive experience which takes the form of vivid hallucinations, and sometimes vomiting. The brew has been

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used in religious ceremonies for approximately 5,000 years. Lending to its enigmatic nature, the combination of these plants by sheer accident is highly unlikely—in fact, they are only two of 80,000 plant species found in the Amazon. Shamans say that the plants speak to them, and given the odds of this discovery, it’s easy to imagine there is truth in this claim.

No longer limited to the confines of the Amazon basin, ayahuasca, the enigmatic plant medicine, is gradually being recognized by the Western world. Michael Pollan—four-time New York Times bestselling author and professor at both Harvard and UC Berkeley—chose to explore the therapeutic use of psychedelics, including ayahuasca, in his latest book, How to Change Your Mind. And these days, if you’re looking for a 10-yearsin-one-night (albeit a potentially stomach-purging, even pant-pooping) therapy session, you don’t need to look further than the areas surrounding Vancouver.

Today, the use of ayahuasca has spread all over the world, but is considered legal in only a few countries. For years, adventurous youth, and those seeking deepened spirituality, have sought the brew, which has resulted in a lucrative, and sometimes dangerous business of “ayahuasca tourism” in South America. (There have been cases of sexual assault connected to the ceremony, and in May of this year a 41-year-old man from the Comox Valley was lynched by Peruvian villagers after a local shaman was found shot dead.) In Canada, however, ayahuasca is still classified as a Schedule III drug, and while the benefits of the plant medicine are becoming recognized by many in the medical community, the use and distribution of ayahuasca can result in a three-year prison sentence.

Regardless, the use of plant medicine in British Columbia is increasingly prevalent, and physicians are beginning to recommend ayahuasca to patients suffering from PTSD, addiction, anxiety, depression, and many other conditions resulting from trauma. Dr. Gabor Maté, a wellknown author, public speaker and retired physician, is one of a few openly championing the plant medicine movement. Throughout his career, he has been especially interested in the impacts of trauma on both physical and mental health, and has worked closely with individuals suffering from addiction on Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside. His interest in ayahuasca’s healing potential has led him to conduct preliminary observational studies, which showed promising results, until he was threatened with arrest by Health Canada in 2017.

Sarah Desanti (name changed to protect her identity), a former registered nurse, is another practitioner who has turned to ayahuasca for answers. Her time working in emergency rooms was initially what made her realize the limitations of Western medicine. “It was really the weaknesses in the system that propelled me to start exploring other modalities,” says Desanti, who has been apprenticing under the Shipibo tradition for eight years. Based on Vancouver Island, Desanti is now a trained facilitator, and travels to a variety of locations to guide individuals in ceremonies. “It’s quite common,” she says, estimating that rituals can be found on any weekend around the province, at a price that approximates a day at the spa ($200 and up).

Unfortunately, the popularity of ayahuasca and the lack of regulation to determine who is qualified to serve the medicine has resulted in a number of questionable practices cropping up, and while Desanti is aware of credible practices on the West Coast, she cautions individuals to educate themselves. “It starts by asking questions, finding people who have sat with the medicine, and [asking] who they’ve trained with, and what their

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background is,” says Desanti. “It’s important that people take responsibility, because we do become very vulnerable.”

Having gone to Peru in search of a traditional ceremony, Desanti speaks from experience, though she admits she didn’t know much at the time. “I was quite naïve. It wasn’t exactly what I had hoped for,” she says, unwilling to elaborate. Still, upon returning to Canada, she was undeterred, and when she was invited by a respected elder healer to attend a ceremony, she decided to try again. It was this second time sitting with ayahuasca that changed her life. “It was essentially an amalgamation of all of the passions that I have in my life: plant medicines, healing, song, ritual, community and connection,” she says. “All of these things came together in a way that activated something for me.” Soon after, she began to work under a respected Shipibo-trained practitioner, and hasn’t looked back.

While plant medicine may not be the answer for everyone, Desanti believes that the use of ayahuasca can allow individuals to deal with the subtle aspects of health so often misunderstood by Western medicine. As well as helping people dealing with trauma and addiction, she has seen the medicine’s ability to help people seek out the root cause of conditions latent in behavioural patterns, as well as deepen understanding, spirituality, and purpose. While there are certain commonalities in the experience however, the teachings and results vary depending on the individual.

Charles Wilson (a pseudonym), a Vancouver resident, is someone who never considered himself a candidate for ayahuasca, but was prompted by his therapist, a well-respected B.C .psychologist, to sit in on a ceremony.

Encouraged, Wilson gathered what information he could, sourcing articles, documentaries, and friends with experience. In the standard wordof-mouth referral process, Wilson was put in contact with a facilitator by a friend. After a screening phone call and a medical questionnaire, he had just under a week to prepare before the next sitting. He found himself on a ferry to Vancouver Island, unsure of what he would find. Among his piles of gear he had packed his cold-weather sleeping bag, anticipating rustic surroundings, but “it was much more developed than I expected,” Wilson admits.

The retreat was one of the locations where Desanti serves as one of the facilitators. Upon arrival, Wilson was greeted by his patron, and shown to the large yurt he would share with the other participants. Inside the door was a massive stack of bedding, and Wilson was told to choose whatever would make him comfortable. “Imagine someone went up and down Commercial Drive and just gathered all the hippie blankets and odd foamies and mattresses,” says Wilson, who armed himself with a fleece blanket patterned with lily pads and bugs for the two nights to follow.

As just one of a two dozen participants drawn to the retreat that weekend Wilson was surprised by the demographics he found. “There was a surprising number of conservative business types,” he recalls. “Only a few fit into the obligatory New Age demographic that I’d anticipated.” An engineer, two directors of IT, a couple who had driven from Calgary, and two of Wilson’s former university classmates (a total coincidence) were noteworthy in the crowd, and participants’ issues ranged from addiction to late-life career changes. “I’m not sure if there was some sort of time-of-life element there,” says Wilson.

As the evening kicked off, they shared their intentions with the group, divulging intimate details with people who, until recently, were strangers.

The facilitators administered the brew, dispensing varying doses depending on the user’s prior experience, and Wilson took his first sip of a dark

liquid from a recycled San Pellegrino bottle. “I, of course, expected some elaborately engraved decanter of some rare wood from the Amazon,” he confesses. Darkness fell, and all the participants lay down in a circle in the round yurt, feet pointing into the middle, like spokes on a wheel.

For individuals sitting with ayahuasca, time tends to be liquid, but at a certain point, Wilson noticed the facilitators had started to play icaros, or songs, modulating the energy in the room. “I’d actually heard about the icaros and I’d pictured just some chanting, and sort of questioned whether we really needed it,” remembers Wilson. “But it’s actually an integral part of the experience. It was achingly beautiful.”

Fearing a loss of control, Wilson had asked for a small dose of the medicine for his first time. And it wasn’t until his second dose that he began his hallucinogenic voyage in earnest.“People tend to see different things, but mine were mostly geometric patterns, organic shapes, vivid colours, and I can’t remember anything that was more formed than that,” he says.

After a while, a therapist came to visit his mat and gave him some thoughts that provided a whole new trajectory to his journey, following which he had heartfelt, two-way conversations with people from his past. At 5 a.m., they debriefed as a group. “It seemed like the experience was laying the groundwork for the next night,” Wilson recalls.

During the day, the participants shared food and stories, and rested as much as they could. “For how powerful [ayahuasca is], I was struck by how little residual effect there seemed to be,” says Wilson. “It was more just the effects of sleep deprivation.” As he talked to other participants, some shared their experiences from the night before. For everyone it was a little different. One man, the engineer, had found himself dancing, contorting into unusual positions he’d never experienced before, his only insight being to surrender to the movement.

On his second night Wilson decided to “go big.” With his central question unresolved, he committed to three full doses over the course of the ceremony. “At a certain point, I kind of felt pissed off,” he says, feeling almost dismissive of the “tripping” aspect of the experience. But as Wilson sat in the dark sulking, he did feel something finally click for him, though not in the way he had anticipated. “It wasn’t some mythical beast landing on my ribcage, but a very subtle shift in thinking,” he says. “It also felt a bit like someone had sort of taken my hand and... not necessarily led me there, but sort of gently observed as I stumbled around in the dark.” For Wilson, the revelation was simply a matter of reframing, but profound nonetheless.

For many who sit with ayahuasca, however, it’s not just the medicine that can be life-changing, but the ritual, the location, and the intricate processes that accompany it. On the final morning, Wilson spoke to one of the directors of IT, and found himself locked in a hug. “It wasn’t like a back-slapping man-hug; it was like a deep sharing,” he says. “I haven’t experienced that level of quick connection or sharing in any circumstance.” According to Desanti, a strength of the ceremony is communing with others. “How often do we, in our culture, sit down and speak authentically about what is present for us, our difficulties, or even our celebrations?” she asks.

Despite the hallucinogenic element of the experience, Wilson stresses that he believes that ayahuasca is not a recreational drug, unless your idea of a party is to “lay in the dark, possibly puke, and delve into your most pressing personal issues.” It can, however, allow individuals to unpack years of repressed trauma, help them make sense of the inexplicable, and provide profound insight, or shifts in thinking. For those locked in cognitive feedback loops and repeated destructive behaviours, the promise of transformation is enticing. It may represent an arrival of sorts after a long journey, even if the physical trip is only a ferry ride from home. n

AYAHUASCA

HEALING THROUGH PLANT MEDICINE

PERU

USA

CANADA

legal to use

legal in religious practices

illegal to use

5 MOST LENIENT COUNTRIES

NETHERLANDS USA

PERU BRAZIL AUSTRALIA

Study participants who reported reduced symptoms of depression

64%

From a biomedical perspective ayahuasca is just a drug, but traditionally ayahuasca is seen as a sentient plant which heals when administered in a ceremony

WESTERN EXPOSURE

1851

Ecuadorian geographer Villavicencio first mentioned ayahuasca in 1858 while he was exploring the jungles of Equador

British explorer Richard Spruce observed the Tukanoan Indians in the upper Rio Negro region of the Brazilian Amazon using a liana (vine) to induce a state of intoxication

1858

1923

Columbian chemist Fischer Cardenas analyzed the B. cappi vine and isolated a compound he named telapathine

MAY 2018

still 41

namaste

The Mind-full Minute

Bringing mindfulness to the classroom one minute at a time, Dr. Lori Walker joins the movement to incorporate meditation into our education system. by Alicia Neptune

P

icture a class of 30 university students. One or two sneak a glance at their phones under their desks, but most are just sitting there, eyes closed. No, it isn’t a particularly boring history lecture.

They’re taking a mindful minute.

It’s a quick exercise, where students sit and focus on their breathing for one minute, and it’s just one of the ways mindfulness has become a part of educational environments.

A growing list of institutions around the world including Harvard University, Oxford University, and post-secondary institutions across Canada, offer drop-in mindfulness meditation sessions, training seminars, and workshops, usually through counselling services.

And some professors have even brought the practice into their teaching.

Instructor Dr. Lori Walker, at Capilano University’s School of Communication, has made mindfulness a major part of her teaching philosophy. Around the time she turned 40, she realized she needed help with anxiety and so she turned to mindfulness. Dr. Walker borrowed tapes on guided meditation from the library and from there, her

42

STILL MAY 2018

interest grew. “I started realizing that it was connected to everything that I taught,” she says.

She’s been using mindfulness techniques, like the mindful minute exercise, in her classroom since she started teaching at Capilano University in 2012. Though she initially worried about what students would think, she finds that most students embrace the practice. “Now I’m much braver because I’m feeling like students are really much more supportive of it or interested in it.” Interest amongst her colleagues has also led several other Capilano professors to integrate mindfulness into their teaching.

Initially, Dr. Walker saw the practice as a way to increase focus and to support students with anxiety issues.

However, it has also impacted the way she teaches courses like Interpersonal and Intercultural Communications, where being empathetic, non-judgmental, and patient are essential elements.

With support from Capilano’s Counselling Department, her courses sometimes include a class focused solely on mindfulness and teaching students techniques for being aware of their emotions and their environment.

Even as mindfulness practices become more commonplace, some critics argue mindfulness doesn’t belong in schools. In 2016, Vancouver father Ray Chwartkowski started a petition (which is still active in 2018) for the removal of mindfulness-based programs from public schools, arguing that mindfulness meditation sessions were equivalent to Buddhist meditation, and violated students’ freedom of religion. However, the Vancouver School Board maintains that the programs are research-based and non-secular. For example, the lessons in MindUP, a program widely used in B.C. elementary schools, are based on neuroscience.

Meditation can help people take advantage of neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to form and reorganize synaptic connections in response to experience, injury or learning. Multiple studies have found a connection between mindfulness and increased gray matter

concentration in brain regions involved in mood, learning and memory, and sensory processes. The practice can help people to purposefully reshape their brains and achieve the often-touted benefits of mindfulness, including reduced stress and improved memory.

For Walker, the neuroscience side of mindfulness is one of the most fascinating parts of the practice. “My practice is not faithbased,” she explains.

“It’s really grounded in science. I see it as an opportunity to talk about the brain.”

It’s another way of taking a multidisciplinary approach in the classroom, regardless of what you teach. Mindfulness can help connect psychology and neuroscience to other fields of study, while also helping students to achieve a calm and balanced state of mind.

In a university setting, when young people are still learning to make their way in the world, Walker says it’s important to “treat the student as a whole person—someone with a mind and a heart and emotions.” ■ PHOTO: TAEHOON KIM

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