THE SILENT TREATMENT

Silent treatment the

ESCAPE YOUR BUSY LIFE AND FIND PEACE AT A SILENT, 10-DAY VIPASSANA RETREAT: IT’S MORE AND LESS THAN YOU IMAGINE. story by SIERRA HOLMES

No texting. No television. No computers. No talking. No exercising. No music. No writing. No reading. No masturbation. No sex. No physical contact with anyone. Complete segregation of men and women. No tight or revealing clothing. No spiritual crystals.

No drugs, alcohol, or other intoxicants. No moving during meditation. All these are elements of a 10-day ancient Indian technique of meditation called vipassana, meaning “to see things as they really are.” It may not be for everyone, but Nicky (no last name, to protect her privacy), a 23-year-old from Vancouver, was looking for ways to combat her anxiety, and was willing to try just about anything.

The advertised purpose of such of asceticism?

To eliminate suffering; face problems in a calm and harmonious way; develop a better understanding of others; become happier; meet new people; and learn how to remain calm in the most daunting situations.

The retreat is an opportunity to become a more mindful and loving self. Now this sounds better.

At the time of her retreat, Nicky was working as a manager at Earls in Whistler Village. She was living a typical Whistler life: ski, party, work, yoga, drink, repeat. It was a phase in her life in which she said yes to as many invitations as possible. She was having great time, but knew it was not a sustainable lifestyle. While Nicky saw herself as having a stable mental state, she was often overly anxious and concerned about others’ opinions of her. On the surface she seemed fine, but inside she was struggling to find a way to cope. Research on anxiety treatments led to her discovery that meditation could have a better impact than prescription medications.

She was already practicing yoga daily, mainly yin and restorative yoga, which are heavily based on breathing and clearing one’s mind. This practice helped guide her towards meditation. She slowly started incorporating meditation and breathing practices into her everyday life. It was through her connection to the yoga community in Whistler that she heard about vipassana, specifically a retreat centre in Merritt, B.C., that offered a 10-day practice. “I didn’t do extensive research on it,” admits

Nicky. “I thought it was as good as any. Plus, it was free! I found out about it in April and registered for the September session.”

Feeling hopeful, she threw herself into her first vipassana retreat. She woke up late on the morning of travel after a full night of drinking and partying, the end of a six-day bender. She was not packed for her journey to the retreat, had no vehicle, and was somehow supposed to travel from Whistler to Merritt in eight hours. She threw her bag together and only just made it onto the bus to Vancouver. In Vancouver she grabbed a few more essentials before boarding a Greyhound to Merritt.

Upon arrival, she was given paperwork to complete and instructed to hand over her phone. With that, she lost any form of contact with the outside world and surrendered to the experience for the next 10 days.

The facility was spartan, but clean and well-maintained. The buildings were located in a forest of lodgepole pine and surrounded by fields that were filled with exquisite wildflowers. Her bedroom, which she shared with a middle-aged woman, was about the size of two handicapped washroom stalls and contained no decorations or colour. As it was furnished with two bunkbeds, they each took a bottom bunk, leaving the upper beds empty.

The first day she describes feeling like she could accomplish anything. She was excited for the new experience. She thought that she would be fine and could handle whatever came her way. “Little did I know,” she says, “this feeling would change in less than 48 hours.”

At the first meditation practice in the hall, approximately 45 men and women, ranging from 18 to 81, entered through separate entrances, officially beginning the “Noble Silence” and the separation of men and women for the rest of the retreat. She was given a pamphlet which informed her that “all students must observe Noble Silence from the beginning of the course until the morning of the last full day. Noble Silence means silence of body, speech, and mind. Any form of communication with fellow students, whether by gestures, sign language, written notes, etc. is prohibited. Students should cultivate the feeling that they are working in isolation.”

For Nicky, the most challenging aspect of the first day was finding a comfortable position for the gruelling hours of meditation. She had two options: sitting cross-legged or on her knees. Despite the awkwardness, she nevertheless fell asleep during the first three meditations, no doubt due to her long, pre-departure nights of drinking and partying. She survived the first day.

“On the third day I thought I was going to die. I was not allowed to do anything!” Nicky recalls, “I took up showering as an activity three times a day

BENEFITS OF VIPASSANA

According to Newsmax. com, practicing meditation techniques such as vipassana produces five major health benefits:

• Reduces negative emotions:

The vipassana technique reduces stress and unpleasant emotions like anger which benefits a person’s mental health. • Increases fertility: Stress can cause lower sperm count in men. Reducing stress will reverse this process. Practicing meditation can also help women remain stress-free during their monthly periods and increase the chances of conception. • Enhances immune system:

Reduction of stress helps boost the body’s natural ability to fight off threats. • Lowers blood pressure: Daily meditation can help you lower blood pressure as the body releases fewer stress hormones that generally raise blood pressure. • Provides anti-inflammatory properties. Meditation techniques assist in reducing and managing pain which, in turn, positively impacts conditions such as heart disease, asthma, arthritis and psoriasis.

10 DAYS OF SILENCE AND MEDITATION: EASY, RIGHT? A WHISTLER PARTY GIRL TAKES ON THE CHALLENGE OF VIPASSANA RETREAT TO DEAL WITH HER ANXIETY. VERDICT: NOT EASY.

For Nicky, a daily practice of yoga led to meditation, which led to the vipassana retreat. The changes she experienced were subtle but significant. to occupy myself when we were not meditating, which to be honest was almost never since we were required to meditate 10 and a half hours every single day. I have never been so clean in my entire life.”

For best results, students were given a schedule and advised to follow it as closely as possible. Ten hours of meditation a day beginning at 4 a.m., tea breaks, two meals in the dining hall, followed by bedtime at 9:30 p.m. Nicky would wake up to the morning bell at 4 a.m., roll over and skip the first two morning meditations. She would then tumble out of bed and groggily make her way to the dining hall for breakfast. The food was vegetarian, simple and satisfying. Every breakfast consisted of oatmeal, stewed prunes, fruit salad, toast and jelly. The centre served breakfast and lunch, but no dinner. Lunch often consisted of a protein, such as lentils, tofu or chickpeas, and a grain, almost always brown or white rice. On the side, participants would be served steamed or raw vegetables, a salad or kale. There would be something sweet provided at the end of lunch such as banana bread or a peanut butter cookie.

Something Nicky found interesting was that food became a huge source of comfort to her. She felt so isolated and out of place that she would find great comfort in simple foods like peanut butter slathered on hot toast.

Many people who embark on a vipassana retreat experience terrifying nightmares, and Nicky was no exception. “I never freaked out during a meditation; it was more at night that I would have anxiety,” Nicky says. “Most nightmares included all of my friends and family horrifically dying.” She found days five to seven to be the most challenging. During this period, about one-quarter of the group packed their bags and left. Nicky considered joining them, especially on day four, but she had promised herself, and others, that she was going to complete the full 10 days. As a competitive, strong-minded person, she didn’t want to disappoint herself or others.

The biggest struggle for her was learning to be fully present. She was in an unfamiliar place with many challenging thoughts running through her head, and it left her feeling isolated. She would sometimes hide in the bathroom to be by herself, or sit down in the dirt of the field, surrounded by wildflowers so that no one could see her. There were times when she felt she was able to control her mind, banish distracting thoughts, and live completely in the present moment. In that state, hours would pass without her even being aware of their passing.

“I talked to myself sometimes. Muttering just to hear a voice and break the silence, making sure my voice still worked,” she admits. She remembers making up names and small narratives for the other participants, like “Purple Pillow Penelope,” “Hot Lesbian Blake,” “Old Grandma Jenny,” and “Cool Grandpa John.” She was impressed to see such an eclectic group of people and wide range of ages come together for the same purpose.

On the last day, Nicky was relieved to finally talk to the others. She introduced herself to her roommate and apologized for not being quiet enough. She had convinced herself throughout the 10 days that her roommate hated her, but this turned out to be completely false. In fact her roommate told her how impressed she was that Nicky was so young and committed to doing something like vipassana. She wished her son had the strength to do a sitting.

Returning home was a shock for Nicky. She often found herself feeling overstimulated by the bright screens and constant distractions of normal life, while at the same time feeling appreciative of the small things she had once taken for granted.

While it wasn’t quite the magical, life-changing cure she had hoped for, she came to realize that small experiences could have a major impact on the way she observed and thought about things. It showed her that she could control her mind more than she realized, and she discovered she could observe her anxiety more objectively than before.

From the experience, Nicky believes she has learned to deal with her anxiety in a healthier way. She sees vipassana as a good challenge, and encourages students to try it, to disconnect and “focus the mind on something different than school and work.” A meditation retreat is unique experience for every individual. Specifically for people struggling with anxiety, high-stress environments, and overstimulation, it provides an important reminder to take the time to be quiet.

Sit with your breath. Observe your mental health. Set an intention for the day and carry it through. And always try to take 10—whether it’s in minutes or days, every little bit of mindfulness can make a difference. ■