FOMO

How social media is plaguing the millennial mind.

by ELIZABETH MEEK hat compulsion. You’re waiting for a bus, or sitting in a restaurant, or you could even be at a crowded party, and you can’t help but check your phone and scroll through your social media feed. We all do it; it’s part of the societal desire to be connected and constantly stimulated but like many compulsive habits, it can also lead to feelings of anxiety and depression. For some social media users, the fear of missing out (FOMO) keeps them tethered to their devices, deepening feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. Nobody wants to feel left out, and no one wants to believe that their lives might not be as fulfilling as their friends’. Social media is an effective and efficient way to stay connected, share our views, or update others about our lives, but it comes at a cost. Problems arise when we start comparing our reality to others’ virtual lives, and begin to feel unsatisfied with our own reality. This is a real issue, and sociologists are taking notice. The 2011 study “Misery Has More Company Than People Think” from Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, suggests that T we are only capable of viewing other’s emotional experiences and lives in the context of a social setting, but because social media portrays a limited view of others’ emotional experiences, we perceive their lives to be better than they are in reality. Another study, “Social Media Use and Mood Disorders: When Is It Time to Unplug?” from a 2017 issue of American Family Physician, revealed that more time spent on multiple social media platforms increased the likelihood of anxiety and depression.

Learning to use social media mindfully can help make it a positive experience, even for those who find it brings them to a dark and lonely place. In the 2016 article, “Motivators of Online Vulnerability: The Impact of Social Network Site Use and FOMO,” from Computers in Human Behavior, describes the phenomenon as “a psychological state in which people become anxious that others within their social spheres are leading much more interesting and socially desirable lives.” The negative impact of this psychological state is an addiction to the devices that connect you. The compulsion that FOMO

creates can affect every area of your life. The more social media platforms you use, the more likely you are to fall down this rabbit hole. By increasing our awareness, we can understand and recognize our own patterns, and make the necessary changes. In an interview with two Communications undergrads at Capilano University, both students revealed how social media made them feel. After moving to Canada two years ago, one respondent found it difficult to make new friends. Through Facebook, she claims, she stays in touch with her family and friends back home, but she often finds that looking at posts from her friends who are travelling the globe makes her feel left out. Her Facebook feed makes it seem like everyone else is living a fabulous life, and the inauthenticity bothers her. “I see people posting pictures together and I know they only spend time together a couple of times a year, but here they are posting like they are best friends,” she says. “What makes it worse is when someone will post about how much they care about someone but they are telling me in person how they want nothing to do with them. There is this pretend world of everything being glossy and perfect.” One of the worst feelings she has is when her new friends travel or go out without her. “After seeing photos on social media from a group of friends who went camping, it made me feel like I am suffocating in my life and my best years are being wasted because I am not out there having fun.” Many of the photos this young woman posts on her Facebook page exude a carefree attitude, and she always looks beautiful. There are images of different places she visits, including weekend getaways outside of Vancouver. Yet despite her highly curated profile, she describes feeling ugly, and admits that social media often makes her feel depressed. She will remove images that make her look less attractive, or don’t receive many likes. “I suffer from terrible anxiety. Most people don’t know that about me and every time I look at my phone, every time I check any of my social media, I hear a voice in my head telling me not to let this ruin your day.” To counteract the negative impact of social media, she restricts her use of social media, only checking it two to three times a day. By acknowledging her FOMO, she can employ mindfulness as a way to fight the compulsion she feels to monitor her online presence.

The second student believes she has found a way to use social media that has diminished her anxiety around it. By focusing on one platform, Instagram, she finds she has more control, and is able to use her account to express herself artistically. She is very careful with what she posts and focuses on making her page visually appealing, incorporating specific colour palettes and themes. Once a month, she and her boyfriend will spend an entire day creating content for their Instagram accounts. “We will go out and take over 1,000 pictures on one day and will maybe only use three photos that we think people will like,” she explains.

Her posting may not be spontaneous or organic, but they ease her anxiety around social media, and allow her to focus more on what she is posting, rather than worrying about others are doing. (Though she, too, delete images that don’t earn many likes.)

“We don’t take photos just for the sake of taking nice photos,” she says. “We have plenty of photos of each other. [Instead] we mindfully create content, and post what we think is Instagram-worthy.” Asking her what mindful social media use means to her ,she explains, “You go through your photos, choose the right one that represents you, finding the right caption, and choosing the right hashtag. You need to think about what you are posting and you don’t randomly post everything you photograph.”

FOMO existed before social media, but the feeling has intensified because of our desire for constant online connection. In the past, being part of the group was integral to our survival, and today this need remains hardwired in our DNA. Being socially connected gives us access to information and resources. Whether it’s knowing the latest political events or finding a cheap airline ticket, the desire to be connected and make the most of our online resources remains strong.

Of course, no one likes to feel out of the loop. As clinical psychologist Anita Sanz explains, there is a biological response at play here. “Not having vital information or getting

Social media has intensified the fear of missing out. Historically, being part of a group was integral to our survival. Now #FOMO sends us scurrying to our phones to feel a sense of belonging with our group in the virtual world.

the impression that one is not a part of the ‘in’ group is enough for many individuals’ amygdalae to engage the stress or activation response, or the fight or flight response.” This could explain our compulsion to constantly check in on our social media. In 2016, on average, anglophone Canadians between 18 and 34 spent nearly five hours per day on the Internet, according to a Media Technology Monitor study.

By restricting our social media use, or finding other creative ways to express ourselves, we can alleviate that compulsion. But reducing screen time and replacing it with activities that make us happy, without the intention of posting about them, is just one solution. Spending time with people, instead of curating our lives on social media, makes relationships feel more meaningful. Talking to strangers, or even chatting with the people at the bus stop, can replace a quick screen scroll, and usually feels quite satisfying, too.

Limiting the number of platforms we use, and restricting where and when we connect, makes sense. After all, not everything is as magical as it appears online, and life is pretty good when we aren’t comparing ourselves to others. ■