Australian Motorcyclist Issue #97

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GO GO GADGET MOTO! LOTS OF GADGETS FOR YOU INSIDE!

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FREE I

EAR-OU NSIDE: T

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TR ORCYCLE T O M N IA

AV E L M A

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MARCH

2021

KAWASAKI VERSYS

S 0 100

VERSYSLY VERSATILE

INVEST IN A CLASSIC SIMPLY AWESOME PERU STUNS

AND MAKE MONEY DOING IT!

PUB OF THE MONTH

A LOT OF STITCH-UPS IN THIS GAME

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AUS $9.95 (Inc GST) NZ $10.95 (Inc GST)

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TRAVEL: LIGHTNING RIDGE, KEMPSEY, VIC HIGH COUNTRY, VIETNAM, GEORGIA USA / MAP: MT BUFFALO, VIC / DAKAR ’21 / FALL COLOURS TOUR, NZ STUART: MR CRANKY IS BACK! / THE BEAR: ZE RULEZ / BORIS: SMACK-TALK 4/02/2021 11:42:47 PM

@RoyalEnfieldAusNZ

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CONTENTS

Desmond Llewelyn

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VERSATILE

SPECIAL FEATURE

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“WHAT IS SO BRILLIANT ABOUT THE GADGETS IS THEIR SIMPLICITY. “

GADGETS Everyone loves them

TESTING

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KAWASAKI VERSYS 1000 S A do it all machine

TRAVEL

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KEMPSEY, NSW Bit of dirt, bit of bitumen PUB OF THE MONTH Exchange Hotel, Qld ADVENTURING AROUND Here’s a good option

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HANDY

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LUCKIEST HONKY Georgia, USA AWESOME DESTINATION Peru is a must see/must do!

LIGHTNING STRIKES Lightning Ridge, NSW READERS TRAVEL Victoria high country FALL COLOURS TOUR Stunning tour in NZ you must book

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STUNNING PERU

READERS TRAVEL Vietnam

TEAR-OUT MAP

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MOUNT BUFFALO,VIC How horny can you get

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4/02/2021 11:42:53 PM

LEGENDS & CLASSICS

22 EVENT

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DAKAR RALLY 2021 How did the Aussies go

TECHNICAL

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STRUCK BY LIGHTNING

INVEST IN A CLASSIC Jump on the boat before you miss it USED & ABUSED The Bear has been busy modelling for you

MORE GREATNESS

THIS IS AN OPTION

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EDITORIAL Mr Cranky is back!

NEWS So much this month WHAT SAY YOU? Boris fills the mail bag NEW BIKE PRICES 2021 models starting to roll in BEAR FACED Ze rulez BORIS Smack-talk

Australian Motorcyclist

Australian Motorcyclist Magazine

Australian Motorcyclist Magazine

@AusMotrCyclist

SOME ARE, SOME AREN’T

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Please enjoy Australian MOTORCYCLIST Magazine responsibly and add this issue to your collection.

MOST BACK ISSUES ARE STILL AVAILABLE; just visit the website www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au or drop us a line to contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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EDITORSPEAKS Mr Cranky is back!

Editor Stuart Woodbury Contributing Editor J Peter Thoeming Sales Manager Ralph Leavsey-Moase ralph@ausmotorcyclist.com.au Designer Jacqueline Page Photographers Nick Wood Creative, Half-Light Photographic Contributors Jacqui Kennedy, Robert Lovas, Boris Mihailovic, Chris Pickett, The Possum, Colin Whelan, Bob Wozga Editorial contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com.au Subscription enquiries www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au info@ausmotorcyclist.com.au

Printer PRINTED IN AUSTRALIA Distributor Gordon and Gotch Australian Motorcyclist Magazine is published

by Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. Suite 4b, Level 1, 11-13 Orion Rd, Lane Cove West NSW 2066 Phone 0412 220 680.

This publication is copyright. Other than for the purposes of research, study, criticism, review, parody or satire and subject to the conditions prescribed under the Copyright Act 1968, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted without the prior written permission of Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. Opinions expressed within this publication do not necessarily represent those of Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. No responsibility is accepted by Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd or the editor for the accuracy of any statement, opinion or advice contained in the text or advertisements. Readers should rely on their own enquiries in making decisions tailored to their own interest. *Recommended retail price Copyright © Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd ACN 161 432 506 ISSN 2201-5442

We encourage you to keep or recycle this magazine.

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S I WROTE MY editorial for the last issue I was halfway through rebuilding the GSX1100 engine. The head and barrel had been machined, new gaskets arrived and next on the list was to pull the bottom end apart, have a good look around, fix up a couple of things that weren’t to Shaun’s (D Moto Motorcycle Engineering) liking and put it back together.

Next up was to machine the pistons as we found the Wiseco pistons in this 1260cc engine were the higher 13.5:1 versions – too much for a roadie. Shaun machined the tops of the pistons into a shape he said will make a better burning combustion chamber, then we needed to dummy assemble the pistons and barrel to measure the pistons’ height, and we gapped the new pistons rings. We ended up having to use two base gaskets to get the desired space between pistons and valves.

The cam gears weren’t slotted, so Shaun machined a slot in each so he could set the timing to how he wanted. Valves, valve seats and guides were all checked and while the cams were out we gave them a polish.

This wasn’t all smooth sailing, one of the cam oiler bolts had snapped and a couple of cam cap bolts needed to be heli-coiled – the joys of old bikes.

Once all the engine had been timed and valve clearances set, we lifted the heavy lump back into the frame.

Again, more average bolts were found, these ones for the engine mountings, and they were changed.

The exhaust, wiring, oil coolers were all fitted up and then came the next problem.

After going through the Keihin CR Special carbs I found one part not sitting the same as the other

three – the carb venturi which the slide goes over had somehow broken.

I contacted the Aussie Keihin specialists – Show N Go Motorcycles and after measuring a number of pieces we found I have ultra-rare 37mm CR’s. Finding replacement parts is like finding one trillion dollars in your bank account. Shaun had an idea of how to fix the one carb, which he did – he’s a bloody clever bloke!

I put the carbs on and they wouldn’t slide open properly – pulled them back off and apart again – the emulsion tubes weren’t right – fixed them up and back on they went.

Oil in and time to fire Mr Cranky back into life. It sounded fluffy and after balancing the carbs it sounded like a motorcycle. I took it for a whirl around the block and it needed bigger main jets. I fitted those and again took it for a whirl – it revs cleanly, if a little cranky down low – a trait of big pistons, big cams and big carbs on an air-cooled donk!

Mr Cranky’s first ride was a relatively short ride out to Tractor 828 café near Sackville Ferry with my father for a coffee and a delicious piece of banana cake. All went well with the only thing going wrong was the indicator flasher relay giving up the ghost! Old bikes – what fun! LOL! It’s also mega fast – this bike will scare litre sportsbikes, so if you see some old banger with a rectangular headlight blow past, don’t fret – it’s basically a race bike with a headlight – just like litre sportsbikes nowadays!

Cheers, Stuart.

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

4/02/2021 11:43:04 PM

FIND OUT MORE

ONLINE

VULCAN S SE

VULCAN S CAFE

VULCAN S

The Vulcan S is designed to transport riders into a sporty realm in edgy style. Blending an aggressive ride with a vintage styling and a powerful 649cc engine, this bike kicks any experience into high gear. Whether you’re commuting to work or enjoying a day trip, the Vulcan S adds confidence-inspiring performance to every ride.

649cc PARALLEL-TWIN ENGINE | LOW SEAT & EASY TO MANOEUVRE | OPTIONAL ERGONOMIC ADJUSTMENTS | LARGE RANGE OF GENUINE ACCESSORIES

Available at your Kawasaki dealer:

kawasakiaus

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@kawasakimotors

www.kawasaki.com.au/dealers/find-a-dealer

4/02/2021 11:43:05 PM

NEWS OAM FOR THE BIG MAN Toby Price has received a medal of the Order of Australia in the General Division, being recognised for his national and international success. Price is over the moon and humbled with being given such high recognition. Now he just needs to get better from surgery and get back on the bike. Read our quick wrap up of Dakar 2021 in this issue.

OH NO

Top Mountain Car and Motorcycle Museum in Austria has sadly burnt to the ground. No one was hurt in the fire, but only a couple of bikes were saved with the rest being destroyed.

With no fire system and being housed in a wooden building, far from emergency services, the bikes and cars really had no hope.

2022, ALREADY?

Arriving into Australia in the second half of the year, the new and refreshed, Kawasaki KLR650 will be available in two configurations; KLR650 ADVENTURE and KLR650.

The 2022 model boasts fuel injection, LED lighting, larger (300 mm) front brake with ABS, longer range 23L fuel tank, digital instrument panel, two-position adjustable windshield, large, strong aluminium carrier mounts and increased generator output. The Adventure model comes fitted with locking panniers, fog lamps, frame sliders and DC and USB sockets. Pricing will be released closer to the release, but expect it to be similar to the current price.

Europe doesn’t get this one because it does not meet Euro 5.

Yar boo sucks.

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NEWS SPORTING STUFF Indian Motorcycle redefined what an American V-Twin can be with the introduction of its category-defying FTR platform in 2019. Now, America’s First Motorcycle Company is taking the beloved FTR platform to a whole new level with a host of enhancements to the 2022 FTR line up. Born and evolved as the ultimate intersection of style and performance, the FTR updates include a thoughtfully refined engine with more power and torque, a suspension tuned for the street, and 17” wheels shod with Metzeler Sportec tyres; together delivering world-class performance while making the bike feel more compact and manoeuvrable. Available in three models - FTR, FTR S, and FTR R Carbon with pricing starting at $19,995 ride away.

100 YEARS

It was 15 March 1921 when the “Società Anonima Moto Guzzi” was established and Moto Guzzi is celebrating its 100-year anniversary this year with the release of three special models. The V7, V9 and V85 TT will be available in a special Centennial Livery and produced in limited numbers.

THE NEXT LEVEL KTM is releasing a revised 1290 Super Adventure S. KTM’s latest expression of high-performance adventuring claims to redefine the standards in rider-focused ergonomics, performance-enhancing technology and state-of-the-art componentry. As such there’s new ergonomics -- new fuel tank, lower seat and new plastics, reworked bodywork -- shorter chassis, new subframe and longer swingarm for optimized weight distribution, added agility and comfort, new generation electronics -- innovative ACC and reworked cornering MTC, more intuitive 7” TFT display, redesigned handlebar switches, revised 1301cc LC8 engine and next generation of Semi-Active suspension.

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www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

4/02/2021 11:43:11 PM

AT A

5.89%

P.A COMPARISON RATE^~

ON A 60 MONTH BMW MOTORRAD

FINANCE AGREEMENT+

+ Finance by BMW Finance, Australian Credit Licence no 392387. Exclusions, fees, charges and eligibility criteria apply (excl. fleet, government and rental buyers). For new BMW R 18 models with no additional extras approved and delivered between 01.01.2021 & 31.03.2021. Min. finance of $5,000 and min. term 24 months. Not available with other offers. Subject to change. * Weekly payments are estimated, 60 monthly instalments of $446.16, final payment of $8,067.00 and a total amount payable of $34,837.00 apply. Offer based on Rideaway price of $29,152.28 for a new BMW R 18. Rideaway price for NSW buyers. Price and repayments may differ in your state or territory. ^ Annual percentage rate is 5.89%p.a. Comparison rate based on a 5 year secured loan of $30,000. WARNING: This comparison rate is true only for the example given & may not include all fees and charges. Different terms, fees or other loan amounts might result in a different comparison rate. ~ Rate may differ based on the borrower risk profile.

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NEWS

BETTER AND BETTER Aprilia has made the RSV4 faster and more aerodynamic for 2021 – a whole suite of goodies have been changed – bigger engine, more torque, more electronics, styling taking from the new RS660 plus more. Two versions are available: RSV4 (only in the Dark Losail colour scheme) and RSV4 Factory (in Aprilia Black or Lava Red colour schemes).

The Tuono has also been given the update treatment with the base Tuono now sporting more compliant suspension, more rider comfort and new styling. The Tuono Factory offers new styling,Version 2.0 Ohlins electronic suspension and much more.

All four of these bikes will be available mid-year with pricing released closer to the date.

OVER AND OUT Iconic Aussie exhaust manufacturer Staintune has closed its doors.

After many months of trying to find a new owner and finally trying Pickles Auctions to find one, all leads have failed to come through and the business has made its last mufflers.

All machines and equipment will now be dismantled and auctioned off through Pickles Auctions.

This really is a loss to Aussie manufacturing and the motorcycle industry. We are genuinely sad that this has happened.

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www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

4/02/2021 11:43:18 PM

OH YES, OH YES!

All-new in every dimension, the new Triumph Speed Triple 1200 RS has been purposefully designed from the ground up to deliver an absolute revolution in terms of Speed Triple power, performance, handling and technology, giving the ultimate performance naked sports ride. Try 132.4kW from the 1160cc triple with a wet weight of 198kg! This will be taking on the top step of the podium in the hyper naked class and could very well take that step for its own. Not only this, but the Speed Triple 1200 RS is built with premium features from the front to the back. Pricing is $25,600 plus on roads – get in now and place an order.

SUMMER TIME! Shannons is kicking off 2021 with a Summer Timed Online Auction featuring 173 lots. On offer are 73 cars, 23 motorcycles and 30 memorabilia lots. Plus, numerical black and white number plate collectors have a choice of 47 Victorian and NSW Heritage plates to bid for. Amongst the large range of motorcycles is a 1929 Harley-Davidson J Model 1000cc V-Twin (Solo), in showroom condition, the bike is a must in any serious Harley Davidson collection. The auction runs from 16-23 February – get in quick! View the full list of items available at shannons.com.au/auctions/

WE BOUGHT EVERYTHING! The Federal Chamber of Automotive Industries (FCAI), has released full year 2020 sales for motorcycles and off highway vehicles (OHVs).

Total sales for the year were recorded at 108,926 units, an increase of 19,727 vehicles and 22.1 per cent on full year 2019 when 89,199 sales were recorded.

Off-Road motorcycles recorded strong growth, with 44,697 vehicles sold during the year – a 30.3 per cent increase on the 2019 calendar year when a total of 34,298 units were sold.

Similarly, road bikes exhibited an increase in sales, with 34,912 units sold

during 2020. This represents an increase of 9.2 per cent, or 2931 units, on calendar year 2019 when 31,981 units were sold.

Scooters were the only segment of the 2020 motorcycle and OHV full year sales to record a decrease. A total of 4461 units were sold, 553 fewer for a drop of 11 per cent, than the 5014 sales recorded in 2019.

With most dealers and distributors being wiped out of all stock it will be interesting to see what the first quarter sales figures look like this year. Most 2021 stock is expected from late Feb so a strong mid-year is expected. D

SHOOTING STAR Royal Enfield has just released information about their new, Meteor 350 cruiser. A totally new motorcycle with modern components, styling and design, yet still features styling cues from their heritage.

Expected to be available midyear, comet into your local RE dealer. They be doin’ it right.

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TEST

KAWASAKI VERSYS S 0 0 10

ONE STEP BACK, TWO STEPS FORWARD WORDS STUART PHOTOS NICK WOOD CREATIVE

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TEST

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AST YEAR WE TESTED the Kawasaki Versys 1000 SE with all its electronic wizardry and fanfare.

For 2021, Kawasaki has looked at the sales of its European counterparts, noting the non-electronic suspension S version was a big seller. So Kawasaki Motors Australia has decided to drop the SE for the moment and run with the S model, priced at $19,999 – I think this is a great idea for those wanting this type of ‘sport’ adventure motorcycle – virtually the same motorcycle at a lower price, what’s not to love! The Versys 1000 S offers all the great features of the 2020 Versys 1000 SE except KECS (Kawasaki Electronic Suspension System).

I know Kawasaki (and other manufacturers) class this type of bike in the ‘Adventure’ category, but they really aren’t off-road machines – they will handle a maintained dirt road, but on bitumen roads is where this kind of ‘Adventure Sport’ flourishes. I know I mentioned in the comparo of the last issue that manufacturers are moving away from the big spaceship tourers.

Well, the Adventure Sport category is probably the new ‘tourer’. The Sports

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www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

4/02/2021 11:43:51 PM

ALL NEW PRO TANK BAGS, RINGS AND ACCESSORIES.

The evolutionary new range of PRO tank bags from SW-MOTECH feature easy-fit magnetic alignment with a secure snap-lock fixing mechanism. The MOLLE system allows for the attachement of additional waterproof smartphone and tablet holders.

With 9 new PRO tank bags to choose from there’s a perfect fit for every bike.

Free PRO keyring with every tank bag For more information call or visit one of our showrooms or shop online at: SYDNEY Unit 1, Race Central 32-34 Peter Brock Drive Eastern Creek NSW 2766

PERTH Unit 1 108 Welshpool Road Welshpool WA 6106

T: 02 9748 3006

T: 08 9350 9052

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TEST

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www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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Tourer, meanwhile, can still have a slight lean forward position.

Ergonomics on the Versys 1000 S are the ‘sit up and beg’ position which is bang on the money for riding any distance. The pegs are low and mid set. Pillion accommodation (by the pillion in a million) is reported to be quiet, comfy, and in fact, one of the most comfy she’s been on.

I found the 40mm manually adjustable screen to be a bit noisy unless I was totally behind it, on its highest setting. The wide upper fairing deflects wind away very nicely, but on hot days your inner thighs heat up a little – only to be expected, thanks to all the protection offered.

Don’t think the S version is any the less a bike than the SE version with KECS. The S model handles amazingly well and as I mentioned to our contact at Kawasaki you’d be hard pressed to tell the difference

unless you ride both bikes, back-to-back on the same day, same piece of road.

Showa forks and shock take care of the duties on the S and on the standard settings are pretty much perfect.

If you were to carry a pillion long distance and/or panniers/topbox, I’d wind in some rear preload via the external adjuster, just to keep the back from sagging down that little bit. For solo riders, the S tips into corners with the lightest tough on the handlebar and stays wherever you put it. You’ll probably actually surprise yourself with just how well the S handles as you quickly scrape the hero knobs on the footpegs while cranked over on the edge of the tyres. With such a stable and easy

to manage set up the S let’s you relax for a long day in the seat.

The same 1043cc in-line four cylinder sits in the frame. It is very punchy with an abundance of torque – again, perfect for all-day two up touring.

Electronic cruise control is there for the straight boring bits and depending on your mood there are four integrated riding modes – Sport, Road, Rain and Rider (manually set up). Other standard features on the

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TEST

S include a very handy centrestand and LED cornering headlights which are built into the side shrouds.

Each of the three lights has a fixed direction and is activated based on lean angle. As the bike leans over, the lights come on in order, creating a wider illuminated path in the direction the bike is heading.

Braking is powerful with loads of feel – just how you like it. There’s also cornering ABS for when it all goes wrong, and yes, it does work.

It’s the weirdest feeling when you try to activate it, knowing what it’s going to do, versus it helping you when the you-know-what really does hit the fan.

A strong subframe allows for panniers and topbox to be used at the same time – something Kawasaki worked to have from a few years ago. The mounting system for the accessory panniers allows them to be attached and removed very simply and they are seamlessly integrated with the rear of the bike, the clean mount system positions the panniers close to the bike centreline, and, thanks to its clean clutter-free design, ensures the rear of the bike still looks good with the panniers removed.

A total of 40W of power is available via the socket at the bottom left of the instrument panel – handy for charging devices or a GPS. Accessories are mostly touring orientated with a radiator protector, panniers, topbox, heated grips, frame/crash protectors, comfort and low seats, GPS mount, LED light bar and more.

One good thing about the paintwork on the S is Kawasaki’s 20

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Specs KAWASAKI VERSYS 1000 S PRICE: $19,999 (ride away) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 12,000km or 12 months ENGINE: 1043cc liquid-cooled in-line four cylinder, 77x56mm bore/stroke, DOHC, 4 valves per cylinder POWER: 88.2kW @ 9000rpm TORQUE: 102Nm @ 7500rpm TRANSMISSION: 6-speed, wet multi-plate assist/slipper clutch, chain final drive SUSPENSION: Front, 43mm inverted fork, adjustable preload and rebound, travel 150mm. Rear, monoshock, adjustable preload and rebound, travel 152mm new Highly Durable Paint and Highly Durable Matte paint (used on the fuel tank, L/R side cowls, and L/R side covers). The paint features a special coat that allows scratches to repair themselves, enabling the paint to maintain its high-quality finish. I’m sure they

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 840mm, weight 255kg (wet), fuel capacity 21 litres, wheelbase 1520mm TYRES: Front, 120/70/ZR17.

Rear, 180/55/ZR17 BRAKES: Front, twin 310mm discs with radial four-piston ABS calipers. Rear, 250mm disc, single-piston ABS caliper FUEL CONSUMPTION: 5.76 litres per 100km, premium unleaded THEORETICAL RANGE: 364km COLOURS: Pearl Storm Gray with Metallic Diablo Black and Metallic Flat Spark Black VERDICT: Versysly versatile mean light scratches, not ones dug out – if you’re wondering.

What does ‘Versys’ stand for – ‘versatile’, maybe. Well, versatile is the exact word to be used, as this Versys 1000 S will do all and everything its target market could ever wish for. D

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

5/02/2021 9:18:35 AM

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We’re New Zealand’s leading motorcycle tour company, and for good reason! We’re proud to be the Official Travel Partner of BMW Motorrad in New Zealand, be assured that your tour is in the hands of experts.

We can organise any type of tour you want, individual independent tour to private group tours and motorcycle rentals.

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CLASSIC

One stone /

Legend, Ayrton Senna.

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www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

5/02/2021 1:03:38 AM

/ two birds Invest in a classic motorcycle and make money WORDS RALPH PHOTOS PHIL AYNSLEY, RLM, VARIOUS

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CLASSIC

Aprilia

A

S YOU STARE, DISAPPOINTED again, at your ‘return for investment’ figure bobbing close to zero, with the cash rate even lower, consider that there might be an alternative. This will not only give you a chance to smile while it’s parked in your garage (or loungeroom) but will also allow you to tap into the trend of rising prices for classic/rare/desirable motorcycles. I have been following this movement for many years and I suspect that it might yield some welcome retirement dollars.

I base this conviction on two things.

Firstly, it seems that a large part of our riding population has no trouble spending thirty large ones on popular models from Harley-Davidson and BMW GSs without even flinching.

Let’s start with that amount as an appropriate ceiling for this discussion.

Secondly, I’m looking for the bargains that offer brand cachet without having to fight for the few bikes left over.

The beginning of the Covid Era not only changed how we travel but also affected how we spend. Spend time in the garage, spend endless hours researching online (is there anything

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else to do?) while spending endless hours searching for elusive bargains.

For many of us, this last 12 months has meant that we reflect on life ahead a bit more, especially what it might mean to us. It also, I feel, helped consolidate the things that are important to us. Like fantastic bikes of the seventies, eighties, nineties… and even more recent ones.

Speaking of which, your keen eyes will have seen particularly desirable and delectable icons like the Ducati 916 take off in the last 12 months from high teens, race through the $20,000 mark and rocket to well over $30,000 market value.

You have missed the boat. The next boat will be sailing shortly so start paddling!

Two reasons for this. One, we aren’t getting the normal ebb and flow of replenishing stock of collectables from overseas. Now why would that be with no ships on the water and lockdowns in the big markets like the US and the UK? And two, as models become more desirable people tend to be hold onto them.

I will stick to the decades I’m best equipped to comment on, being the ‘70s, ‘80s and ‘90s although there is very good buying from the early 2000s.

Here is some smart buying for under $10,000 to kick off the brands we will cover. The 2003 1000cc RSV and later Tuono models pop up spasmodically with low kilometres and even one owner and they scream ‘investment bargain’. The stylish first model twins are on my radar and what well-made motorcycles, fun to ride and even better to look at, these thing are.

They are a real sleeper in the Italian fraternity.

They are also current, which means spare parts are available (be prepared to wait for things to arrive from the UK) and someone who knows their stuff can work on them still. I did own an RS250 race replica although they will never be a practical classic for the masses.

RANGE $5000 TO $14,000

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5/02/2021 1:05:30 AM

Bimota

Simple yet tasty.

‘Sex’ of the best.

I’m surprised by the number of good Bimota buys there are around in our fair country. There is a lot of Yin and Yang in owning an Italian masterpiece. Most of the affordable models have Japanese engines wrapped in some of the best componentry going but therein lies the problem. Sourcing items in the event of a mishap moves you up the Periodic Table into the realm of ‘Unobtanium!’

My pick? There are two DB4 Ducatipowered 900’s going at the moment, both with low kilometres and hovering around the 20K mark. They look superb and ride fantastic. I have ridden a few and while they will never have the exclusivity of the DB1 they make a practical and engaging alternative. Try a 400cc version of Yamaha YB series which have found its way into the country via Japan and get a mini classic for even less than the full-sized version.

RANGE $17,000 TO $22,000

More chance of finding space rock.

Benelli A beautiful Sei 750 six cylinder will for the moment just scrape in under the thirty K ceiling. Rare in Australia, they will always give great riding pleasure and immense crowd pulling power. If you can find a well preserved or restored 650 twin, they are likely to increase in the same percentage terms as their bigger brother. I rode a 900cc Sei a few times and they are even rarer, and an even better investment.

RANGE $10,000 TO $28,000

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CLASSIC

BMW The quintessential R 90 S hovers around the $20,000 mark and beyond now while the desirable R 80G/S has shipped itself out of our reach. I still maintain that an R 100 S or a CS or even a classic RS is the way to go and you should be able to buy two! They offer safe enjoyable riding, especially if you want to keep your licence.

Parts are plentiful and of all the so-called classics they are the easiest to maintain.

The hipster crowd are leaving alone the R 80 and R100 RT models while their Job Keeper payments restrict the butchering of perfectly good classics and turning them into hard ridin’ horny strippeddown scramblers. That leaves the classics hunters with a reasonable choice of solid presentable irons.

RANGE $6000 TO $14,000

Ducati Bologna is a great place to start (and perhaps finish with frustration) if you are after an affordable exotic. There are some lovely single Desmo 250/350 and 450s to be had (my brother has two) in the $15-25K range.You will need great knees to attempt, let alone succeed, in kicking one into life without the proper technique. A lot of ‘Bevels’ are now well north of our ceiling and I can see slow but steady movement in the last of the air-cooled 900 Supersport and 1000cc twins. Close to home I have the last of the pig-ugly Multistrada 1100 all-roads tourers and have watched the about-face from the bottom bounce at $4,500 to now closer to $9K or even more. Riders will eventually forgive ugliness and trade in the looks for all-round fun, practicality and exclusiveness. The sleeper? An early Monster in 900cc or S4R form will not only get you a lot of satisfaction but also a lot of looks as they become rarer on the road.

RANGE $8000 TO $11,000

No better place to start an Italian love affair.

Bevels don’t come cheap so pull up your belts.

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CLASSIC

Italy goes to Jurassic Park.

Cagvia The Varese brand did dabble in Japanese engines from Suzuki in 1000cc and 650cc form. These naked Raptors are out there, although if you want to take on the real force in the market, the adventure dual-sport to go looking for is the Ducati or Suzuki powered Elephant. It is a fine riding dualie. Parts may be getting scarce but if you are handy there is always a way around fashioning panel bits and pieces.

RANGE $3500 TO $10,000

Gilera Showing a reasonable amount of bias, I’m punting for a Saturno in the delectable 500cc form. They are very rare but accessible in price and believe me one of the most remarkable bikes you could ever ride. They have sublime handling and lithe looks, which to be honest no other brand could match. If you can’t find the 500cc then there are one or two 350cc versions kicking around.

RANGE HARD TO FIND BUT $10,000 AND ABOVE

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HarleyDavidson Of all the brands on the market I have least amount to do with and I rely on mates like Damien Kingsbury who said “steer away from the seventies AMF period and go looking for the first of the Evos and the ‘84 Softail, although the FXR Lowrider was vastly superior to ride”. I would have fallen into the old trap of it looks amazing so I just had to buy it! Take along someone who knows them well.

RANGE $10,000 TO $14,000

Honda the GL1000 flat four entered the market in 1975. Last time I checked the last few were hidden discreetly below my range but jumped sharply as I think a reaction to the demand for the BMW boxers of the same

vintage. They are getting rare, especially in original condition but what a punt! Maybe $12,000 will buy a nice one and given that they are still a practical and rideable weekend bike as well as a tourer for those who like to load up and not be in a hurry. Best port of call are the various

clubs and social media sites where lovers of the GL reside. The larger and uglier 1200cc and 1500cc models are seriously good buys although you will be dealing with added electrical complication and switches galore.

RANGE $8000 TO $12,000 www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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CLASSIC

Kawasaki Not hard to see where we will go with this, is it? Z9s, Z1000s, Z1 Rs and Z2Rs are the choices for sure but I think they have topped out for a while after the frenzy (created by our own Stuart) of the last year or so.

The plateau may have been reached for now but prices will rally and rise for the big air-cooled fours. The next centre of attention will be low kilometre, well looked after GPZ 900s. I’ll give you the same advice I give to mates. “Don’t quibble about two or three thousand dollars when what you want is there and the next may be another 12 months away and dearer!

A left-of-field choice is the scary (both in size and complexity to restore) Z1300 six cylinder. What a beast (I owned one, just to be able to say “I owned one”) and they are as iconic a motorcycle as you will find.

RANGE $10,000 TO $15,000

Laverda Now we slip into the northern part of Italy, just under the Dolomites to the little agricultural town of Breganza and the single area most responsible for the demise of my liver.

With most things Italian (even Fiat) you can track when the market bottomed and then started its steady rise with no topping out in sight. Forget SFC 750 and 1000s, keep dreaming for a rare Corsa, and Jotas have bolted. Before you can google ‘81 for sale they will have hit $30K. The best buys are the almost sanitised (although far from it even with the hydraulic actuated clutch) RGS/RGA models. Smooth, powerful with some of the best clothes ever to dress a motorcycle in the ‘80s they still can be snapped up from $12,000 or thereabouts. I saw an absolutely fully restore RGS in the UK for $21,500 plus shipping. The 750cc twins are creeping up alongside the last of the triples in value.

I regret selling every one of the seven Laverdas I have owned.

RANGE $10,000 TO $20,000

Moto Morini Now it’s not so much deciding which one but finding one!

I have for a long time lusted after the little 350/500 75-degree spritely twins. They ride well and handle as good as anything out there. They are pretty in their own way, more than an equivalent Ducati Pantah. I think they will because of their rarity a real talking point at any classic meet.

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Spectacular South Africa

Himalayan Heights

Dalmatian Delights Moroccan Magic

Beautiful Baltics

Yaks ‘n’ Yetis

Awesome Andes

Incredible Iceland

It's hard to believe, but this iconic image is now more than 20 years old.

It's a bit grainy; we took it on our first Andes tour, waaay back in the late 90's.

Many others have followed.

But none has bettered.

World On Wheels.

Leading the way for 27 years.

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CLASSIC

Moto Guzzi So many to consider and not too many to avoid although I would in broadest terms stick to the Tonti-framed models. That means the 850 to 1000cc V-90 degree V-Twins mounted transversely and all with electric start. They are rugged and reliable and I can say appreciating. I have sold a number for friends, who can’t deal with the plague of endless low-balling and silly questions, and the prices are starting to climb. Good value?

Yes indeed. Parts and experience are plentiful and if you find a pretty original Le Mans Mk3 or even a Californian then I can always see a good investment staring at you. The safe bet is to stick with (after you do hours of research) anything that is tidy with good history.

RANGE $6000 TO $20,000

Suzuki My pick is the GS1000S from the 1977 period which two friends recently traded between themselves.

Known for the association with Wes Cooley the Yank superbike rider, the GS was an impressive bike for its time. They are a brilliant road bike although a little on the soft and weighty side these days. Katanas are a more dedicated beast and Suzuki turbos and cruisers are bordering on ugly. Play it safe and if you see a 750 Waterbottle or a nice 500 Titan two-stroke twin pop up for less than a new model GSX1000S give it some serious consideration as well.

RANGE $6000 TO $12,000

Triumph while Triumph does a more than excellent job creating some of the best new classic-looking retro versions of their 1960s 650 twins, the prices of the originals will stay a little suppressed. That and it isn’t helping that our knees are getting older so the fear of a kickback from the starting leg is real. Go looking for one where the owner has spent more money on his sixty-year-old bike than a new one! I saw a nice original Trident for $15K last week.

RANGE $9000 TO $16,000

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Yamaha My first four motorcycles (of 118) were Yamahas. I am fond of any two-stroke that left the factory however the anchor may have just been pulled as far as a pearler RZ500 goes. They have now moved up and over the threshold so of all of the tuning fork models I would go looking for an XS1100 or the twin XS650.

Also keep an eye on the brilliant TRX850. Finding one with low mileage will be worth the wait.

RANGE $4500 TO $12,000

HONOURABLE MENTIONS, BUT DON’T MENTION!

Bultaco, Ossa, CZ, MZ, Zundapp and crikey even a Hodaka… I have ridden all of those brands but the softest spot I have is for the Bultaco Metralla 250.

PLENTY MORE

We have only touched the surface in the collectable and appreciating sphere of the classic market. Send in your ideas to add to the list and we always welcome being shot down, as well as being praised for our insight.

Just don’t mention the Honda CX500 or the failed 1982 Yamaha XZ550 twin, the uproar will be too much for our ‘inbox’ to handle.

P.S I owned a CX500 so you can’t believe one word I said!

DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME UNLESS...

A lot of the potential growth in your personal wealth is based on you being reasonably competent in mechanical work unless someone has done all the hard work. If, for example, you were like The

Bear then you could add many thousands to your investment because you were paying a workshop a $100 an hour to polish your nuts. Conversely you can save thousands if you are like Stuart and

can spend a lifetime looking for a period correct rubber nipple for a brake bleed point! Good tools, and remember the Net is your friend! As are Facebook groups on the specific bike you’re looking for. D www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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TRAVEL

KEMPSEY TO ARMIDALE

HAVING FUN WHILE LEARNING WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR

I

AM DEFINITELY NOT Armidale Road and all you need to road following the Macleay River SUGGESTING that you aren’t up do is follow it. into Bellbrook. The pub is popular to a bit of gravel riding. No way.

It’s even easier from the western with motorcyclists (but then, what I’m sure you’re not only experienced, end. Just take Waterfall Way out of pub isn’t?) although I’ve heard some you’re also keen to tackle some less Armidale and then 42km along, complaints about the time it takes to stable footing (tyre-ing?). But most turn right into Kempsey Road. get your meal. Still, it is the last place riders have at least one friend who Let’s stick with taking the road to get any tucker for quite a ways, so has not ridden on gravel although he from Kempsey, at least partly because maybe you should give them a chance. might harbor a secret desire to do so, it lets you have some fun on the tar The gravel starts not far past Five but has never been presented with before the gravel starts.

Day Creek Road, and while it is in the opportunity under what he would The Willawarrin pub is probably the pretty good condition, it is dusty. There consider reasonable conditions. first notable stop along this road, and are some fun corners along the river, Well okay, fine, here just the thing to teach we go. gravel road beginners The road from that the bike will not Kempsey to Armidale fall over if they lean is just what the dirty into the corners. Unless doctor ordered. Much it does, of course, but of it is tarred, at both they’re likely to be ends, and the bit in going pretty slowly. between is as good The road leaves the a stretch of gravel as river after a while and you’ll find in Australia. climbs into national Unless you believe that park and State Forest. dumping people into It continues to be well the deep end is the best sorted; they must send 1 way to teach them to a grader along here swim – an attitude my on a pretty frequent first sports teacher (or schedule. You’ll find 1. Sunset photos look good, but remember that the critters like this time, too. “the sadist”) espoused, yourself dropping back 2.That doesn’t look too tough, does it? Kempsey Road above the Styx River Bridge. you will find that this down to the Styx River will boost confidence bridge, which is a single and inspire a gravelly lane timber truss bridge sense of fun. it has a reputation for good tucker over a rugged little canyon.

Finding this road is not difficult. in a pleasant beergarden. Just up the The road returns to tar just before the If you’re starting from the Kempsey road is the turnoff to the right onto long, dual-lane bridge over the Oaky or eastern end, just take Belgrave Hickeys Creek Road, which will take River. Just past the bridge it becomes Street (a right turn off Smith Street you to The Pub With No Beer at gravel again, almost all the way to the if you’re coming south, straight ahead Taylors Arm. Contrary to the name, Waterfall Way. There is a short stretch if you come over Lord Street bridge.

I have never found it to be running of tar where your students can unlock Left into Elbow Street (who makes short of the amber fluid. their hands from the handlebar. You up these names?) at the Court House Staying on Armidale Road, you are can turn left for Armidale or right for and then just follow the right-hand about to have a heap of fun on the Dorrigo and Bellingen, safely back on corner into River Street. It becomes twisty and generally well-surfaced sealed roads. D

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PUBOFTHEMONTH

LOT OF STITCH THE PUB GAME

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RATED 4 OUT OF 5 HELMETS

Exchange Hotel

H -UPS IN e m E o s nd

Flinders Hwy, Torrens Creek QLD T: 07 4795 5990 Xander and Lorna

A aren t… t ’ a h t WORDS/PHOTOS COLIN WHELAN

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PUB OF THE MONTH

S

OME BLOKE WANTS TO get rid of his pub, finds some mark who thinks he can run one – “hell, it’s a pub for god’s sake, can’t be too hard” - juggles the books a bit, mentions sotto voce the thousands in cash that he’s been sliding off the slate, and, hold my beer, he’s got a buyer.

Who pretty soon finds out he’s been stitched up. Often the new fella soldiers on, sometimes he just cuts his losses and disappears one night, and sometimes he, or she fights back.

Torrens Creek’s Exchange hotel’s schooner glass of history carries just such an impurity where the stiffed buyer who got conned into purchasing

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it in 1938, took the vendor to the Supreme Court in Townsville and for 5 days fought his case.

The place is a tick over 150kms west of Charters Towers on the Flinders, and a bit less than 100kms east of Hughenden. (If anyone out there has anything good to say about Hughie, please let me know.)

Anyway, Torrens Creek, with a population of never more than 200 and now hovering around just on a dozen, has always lived in the shadow of its (just slightly) bigger neighbour Prairie and when Henry Lovell was sussing out the Torrens

Creek Exchange the year before WW2 broke out, the Prairie Pub was the yardstick he used for measuring its viability and attractiveness.

Lowell’s statement of claim – which took 2 years to get to court, argued that the vendors had “represented … that from a business point of view Torrens Creek compared more than favourably with Prairie (and) that the takings of the hotel averaged £50 a week.”

He soon discovered that “Torrens Creek did not compare more

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favourably with Prairie and was in fact much inferior (and) the takings of the hotel did not (come close to) £50 a week.”

Classic stitch-up.

Pretty much ever since, Torrens Creek, the town and the pub have been little siblings of Prairie but with the Prairie Hotel evolving to pink polo shirts with up-turned collars (think Double Bay and Toorak back in the 90s) and the Exchange under new ownership, plus a number of other things, it’s time to put that to rest.

The pub is now owned by Alexander but he goes by ‘Xander” and he and partner Lorna bought it back in 2015.

And this time it wasn’t a stitch-up.

If anything, it was the reverse.

He was a diesel mechanic working up in Broome and looking for something different. One afternoon after a decent session in the Kununurra Pub he and a mate figured riding postie bikes along the Gibb River Road and on to Townsville might be an idea.

So, they did. Didn’t get a single

puncture, but shredded a few tyres.

Once on the Flinders Hwy they overnighted at the pub at Pentland, about 50kms east of here, and “old mate said it was for sale for $300,000.”

Again, he thought, ‘might be an idea’.

(Very early I understand three things about Xander: every main character in every story is ‘old mate’; that he laughs a lot and that when he agrees with something you say or understands it, his ‘yeahs’ come in handfuls: ‘yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.’

He headed back to Torrens Creek to www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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PUB OF THE MONTH chew it over and when he pulled up at the pub, he “... thought fuck this feels way better. It was the sort of pub that you pull up out front and you want to go inside and have a beer, this was inviting.” But he was warned of the stitch-up: “I told old mate here that I was looking at Pentland and he said to be careful because old mate there was saying it was averaging 1000 a day and it’s smaller than this place and this place never gets a 1000 a day. So old mate at Pentland showed me figures and they all seemed a bit strange and he explained them to me but even then it didn’t seem like he was making enough money for two people.”

So Xander let it slide and when a bit over a year later another friend mentioned that Torrens Creek was also

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actively on the market, he headed out for a squiz. The owner had forgotten him “and I never announced myself, I just come in and ordered a beer and sat in the corner and this group of 4 people came in after me and he was sitting behind the bar with his handle of gold and this is like 11 in the morning and one of these four asked him if there was any chance of getting 4 steak burgers. And he just said to them, ‘No I’ve got no fucking bread rolls.” No ‘but I can offer you a steak sandwich or something else’.

No, ‘sorry, can I get you a pasta or a pie?’ And these four looked at each other, looked at him, looked at each other and just shuffled out the door.

And I’m thinking Jesus, 150 bucks just walked out the door and that’s not counting the people who they tell

not to come here. I dunno what or how much he’s doing but I’m going to be doing better.”

So Xander and his partner Lorna, knew that the poor mouth figures were very likely close to the mark and that in the hands of people who cared about service, who welcomed and accommodated, it could be a goer.

So, they bought it.

And started infusing it with, er, hospitality.

Xander (it’s only later that the light-bulb in what passes for my brain switches on and I realize the irony of a publican dropping ‘ale’ from his name) is one of those hosts who enjoys sitting on the guests’ side of the bar, getting up as the need arises to pull drinks or take food orders.

If it’s not your first visit in the last

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few months, chances are you’ll be asked, “Same as usual?”

With the sun long gone, after a stunning sunset and after my dinner of a very decent pair of chops and veges, the regular late tide of truckies begins to pull up in the rest area right out front across the highway, offsetting their cabins so the small diesel engines that’ll power the overnight air-con won’t disturb their mate.

Later they’ll be having a free shower and then a feed. The kitchen’s open from 7am when there’s also fuel for the desperate, until after 9pm when these fellas are finished. But first they head to their semi-regular pews at the bar for a jar and a jaw.

Tales are exchanged of their day and of days prior. Craig and Rob are bringing a load of pre-fab offices and

dongas from the gulf country and are looking forward to dropping them at Townsville and a couple of days off.

Xander explains the Covid rules of not standing and drinking.

“If you think we have any intention of standing when we can sit, you’ve got rocks. Sitting is our speciality.”

They perch at each end of the bar, legally separated.

A later group - which I don’t photograph - share yarns of times long gone of being blackmailed to drive 20 hours straight by bosses who told ‘em to take it or leave it, and being driven to drinking by the loneliness and the comradery of the road.

The Blue Heeler at Kynuna became a landmark: “We had to make Toowoomba to Isa in two days, so we’d leave base at

about 7 in the morning and just go non-stop except for fuel the 1,400 kms to the Blue Heeler and get there in about 16 hours. Isa was just 3 hours and we had to be there at 7 in the morning so we knew we could drink till 4 am and then jump back in the cabin.”

The old days weren’t always the good old days.

They head off to freshen up and I take Super Ten around the back to a bit of undercover and park next to the Broome-to-Townsville Postie - looking clean and fresh for an old beast.

Turns out a fella came by a few months before and he was looking for a postie, dropped $200 deposit on it and vanished. No name, no contacts nothing.

Wasn’t until almost 4 months later that he fronted again, paid the balance and

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PUB OF THE MONTH

cleared out. Pretty relaxed out here.

Upstairs there’s a double, 5 singles and two twin single rooms. A single’ll cost you a pineapple, just 10 bucks more to share a twin. Out the back there’s a handful of dongas with one family room (double and 3 singles), three doubles and a single with easy disabled access. Donga rooms, all of which have ensuites, are PRPN at $120.

It’s also the only pub I can remember with its own swimming pool.

There’re 4 beers on tap plus a ginger beer -- schooners coming in at just 6 bucks but it was other fluids that’d originally drawn me to this place… the pub was just proving to be a bonus.

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Around 100kms direct north of the Torrens Creek Exchange Hotel are the White Mountains, a unique and beautiful National Park of extraordinary interest to anyone with a fascination in the riparian arteries of this country.

In the middle of these mountains is a broad ridge less than a kilometre wide. When the rains come, some of the drops that fall at the north of this ledge will become part of the Flinders River and end up in the Gulf just west of Karumba.

Meanwhile, some of those falling just metres to the south east, will end up in the Burdekin River and Ross River system and eventually flow

into the Coral Sea at Townsville.

Other drops that fall less than the length of an Olympic Pool to the west, will end up in South Australia in Lake Eyre. The Sliding Door fate of the rains depends on clouds and the winds.

And this time I’m here to track the last lot of drops, from White Mountain down under the highway just east of the Torrens Creek pub and into the Thomson to Jundah where it joins with the Barcoo to form the Cooper and then winds down to Innaminka and Lake Eyre in South Australia – for mine the most tortured, storied, tragic, unpredictable heatbreaking river system in our country.

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FOX HELICOPTER CHARTERS T: 07 47413116 Patsy-Ann M: 0429 413 117 David W: foxhelicopterservices. com.au

The only way to see this triple font is from the air and the only way to do that is with Fox Helicopters who run exclusive charters from the pub up to White Mountain and Porcupine Gorge. It’s a two hour trip including a half hour smoko in the Flinders River Gorge for up to three passengers.

The tours with this family company formed in 2001 and run by David and his wife Patsy-Ann as an adjunct to their aerial mustering and ag service business are coming into their 3rd season and run from April 1st until the end of October in a Robertson 44.

Give it a splurge. You won’t do anything like it again.

And truly, that’s no stitch-up.

Don’t die wondering I’ve ridden past this place maybe 20 times. What an idiot!

With great owners who know about bush riding and also know just exactly what it is that makes an outback pub coupled with a decent menu with healthy options, not just the usual deep-fried crap, comfortable basic rooms plus the pool, it’s now a very good place.

Combined with the chopper tours to the unique Porcupine Gorge and White Mountain, it becomes the epicentre of a memorable adventure.

Don’t feel like riding? No problem, catch the twice weekly train from

Townsville and get off right across the road!

All the rooms have air-con and the amenities might be showing their age but they’re as clean as, and you can get a bacon and egg roll and a brew next morning. What’s not to love?

There’s a spanking new Telstra tower just out the back and there’s no gambling or annoying monitors (talking screens not lizards).

An easy 4 helmets and 4/5 on the character scale. For value, with its 6 buck beers and 50 buck rooms, it rated 160 on our 100 scale.

Go and you’ll go back. D

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S P E C I A L F E A T U R E G a d g e ts

O G , O G T E G D A G O T O M RCYCLISTS O T O S M T E G D A G LOVE COMPIL

ED BY S

T U A RT

H: Y BUNC N N U F ur AN BE A S SURE C f little gadget for o T IS L C Y s to OTORC me kind o e always new one o s e v lo s r s most of u elves. And there a out to the variou s ll r a u c o e r h ’ o t t bike, ‘gadge we put ll into the ’ve got a loves, so fa e t u r h t ig g m in t t u a join exis offer. If yo out, send us e items th n h t o r e v fo a h s r b what they should all know a distributo is e r the joy. e h d e an kw d spread in n a th u u .a o category y m t o a cyclist.c gadget th ausmotor favourite @ s tu c ta con an email –

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S P E C I A L F E AT U R E

Gadgets

ROCKY CREEK DESIGNS rockycreekdesigns.com.au

MotoPressor Smart Pump – $169.95 Small and compact, this cordless, rechargeable tyre inflator with built in torch, is ideal for inflating motorcycle, RV, car and bicycle tyres. It will also inflate pool toys and footballs and charge your phone or other electronic device!

You can set and store 4 separate pressures and it will automatically shut off when the pressure is reached.

MotoPressor Digital Tyre Pressure and Depth Gauge – $26.95 Properly inflated tyres save you money by reducing fuel consumption and maximising tyre life. This gauge is compact (72x40x22mm) with a big backlit LCD display, making it nice and easy to read. The gauge measures tyre pressures in PSI, BAR, kPa or kg/cm2.

The tread depth tool uses a metal slider that stores within the body of the unit and displays digitally in mm or inches. It also includes a small LED light to help out in low light conditions.

HelmetLok – $29.95 HelmetLok is a carabiner-style lock, with a 4 digit programmable locking mechanism, designed to lock your helmet to your bike. If your helmet utilizes a “quick release” buckle, slide the Extension into the “quick release” buckle, thread the HelmetLok into the hole at the end of the Extension, attach it to your bike and lock it! Unlike a conventional carabiner, when the locking arm is open, it pivots outwards. This allows you to attach it to large diameter handlebars, bike frames, gear racks and grab rails, in fact it will fit around anything with up to a 38mm diameter.

The 4 digit locking mechanism is made from weather resistant zinc alloy and to protect your bike, the aluminium carabiner is covered with a protective plastic coating.

Since the HelmetLok is not permanently mounted to your frame, you are free to attach your helmet to any suitable place on your bike. It’s small and compact enough to fit in your pocket or on your belt loop. Why be weighed down carrying your helmet around!

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Atlas Throttle Lock – $234.95 The Atlas Throttle Lock is the most “universal” and intuitive throttle lock ever made.

Designed by motorcyclists for motorcyclists. It will be the last throttle lock you’ll ever need to buy. The Atlas Throttle Lock is made of hardened stainless steel and will last the life of your motorcycle.

Puncture Repair Tool – $64.95 The tool is an award winning “4-in-1 multi-tool” that uses pre-vulcanized repair strings and the whole package stores in a sheath small enough to fit in your pocket. The tool contains a pair of pliers, a rasp, an insertion tool and a knife.

What’s different about our repair strings?

They are pre-vulcanized, so no more little tubes of glue. The “repair string” plugs the hole AND leaves a “patch style” repair on the INSIDE of your tyre.

BMW MOTORRAD bmw-motorrad.com.au or your local dealer

Tyre Pressure Travel Pack Make safety a priority with the easyto-store tyre pressure travel pack from BMW Motorrad. As well as being able to inflate tyres quickly, it allows you to take a precise air pressure measurement using the included digital device. Features include a digital pressure gauge with rotating valve head, selection of 4 measuring ranges (PSI, Bar, kg/cm², kPa), valve head suitable for all valves (Schrader valve, Presta valve), maximum measuring pressure: 11 bar and includes a practical storage bag which packs down small (packing size 19x12cm).

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S P E C I A L F E AT U R E

Gadgets

KAWASAKI

kawasaki.com.au or your local dealer

Kawasaki Sunglasses – $30 Bring down the glare with a simple to apply set of Kawasaki cool, sunglasses. With UV-protective lenses, these black nylon framed sunglasses can tame the harshest of bright sunlight. The black frames have contrasting white Kawasaki logos on the legs and green reflective 400UV lens that are polarised. Supplied with a handy cloth bag for storage.

Kawasaki Compression Travel Cup – $20 Want to do your bit for the environment? Get your hands on a low tech gadget. This travel cup transforms into an easily transported 450ml capacity cup.

Simply pull on the bottom to stretch to its 152mm height. The Lime green silicone, cool to touch white plastic body makes is suitable for hot or cold drinks.

Lightweight at 128grams and a compressed size of 70 x 86mm. It’s also easy to clean.

RON ANGEL ronangel.com.au

Givi S920 Smart Clip phone holders – $140 Givi’s Smart Clip has dual action slides that hold your phone safely in up to 35G of mechanical shock – so it is basically impossible to lose your phone. They have a Tool-Free universal mount that fits anything from 8mm>35mm, and the holder sits on a ball joint so it can be adjusted at various angles or orientations.

Two sizes available: S920M (112-148mm x 52-75mm); S920L (144-178mm x 67-90mm).

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Noco Genius1 Battery Charger – $89.90

LINK INTERNATIONAL linkint.com.au and all good bike shops

Jump On Lithium Jump Starter With Air Compressor – $299 Start just about anything out there with this beauty.

Using 12v Lithium Polymer technology - Australian standards approved, features include 20000 MaH capacity, insulated leads, 240v AC charger, power adaptor, cigarette light adaptor, led strobe light, 12v DC car charger, 4 power indicators, 12-month warranty, holds charge for 3 months. It is suitable for all motorcycles, cars, boats etc up to diesel 8 litre.

Air compressor included.

Meet the GENIUS1 - Plug-in, connect to the battery, select a charge mode, and start charging your battery. A fullyautomatic, worry-free battery charger for year-round use.

Designed for 6-volt and 12-volt lead-acid automotive, marine, and deep-cycle batteries, including flooded, gel, AGM, maintenance-free, and lithium-ion batteries.

Charge dead batteries as low as 1-volt. Or use “Force Mode” that allows you to take control and manually begin charging batteries that are dead down to zero volts.

Built-in desulfation mode for the most corroded batteries.

Auto detection with smart diagnostic indicators starts a Repair Mode integrated within a 9-step charging profile.

An integrated thermal sensor detects the ambient temperature and alters the charge to eliminate overcharging in hot climates and under-charging in cold climates.

Provides all-season, all-weather charging for a healthy battery. Leave plugged in 24/7 with no worries of overcharging.

Automatically returns to its last selected mode.

CAMBOX cambox.eu

V4 / V4+ / V4 PRO – from $540AUD Cambox Meca offers a new way to record your motorcycling and reinvents the action camera with its unprecedented shape and light design. The Cambox is perfect for all kind of motorsports; fastened under your visor it suits every shape of helmet available on the market. D

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TEAROUTMAP#97

IT’S HORN! Mount Buffalo, VIC

WORDS STUART PHOTOS VARIOUS

T

HIS IS A SHORT and sharp route up to The Horn Lookout at Mt Buffalo in Victoria. It is extremely popular with motorcyclists, bicyclists and sports car drivers, so have some fun but play it safe on the weekends when it can get a little busy.

POREPUNKAH

Porepunkah is a small town located on the Great Alpine Road, 6 kilometres north-west of Bright. It is the gateway to Mount Buffalo and the surrounding national park.

The town’s small commercial centre, featuring a general store, a hotel and a few speciality shops, overlooks the picturesque Ovens River and is surrounded by forests and scenic mountain ranges. Apex Park is located on the banks of the Ovens River, offering attractive picnic and BBQ spots. For visitors who want to get a bird’s eye view of the beauty of the surrounding area, scenic flights are available from the Porepunkah airfield.

Access to the Mount Buffalo summit is via Porepunkah from the town’s main road junction where the Great Alpine Road meets the Mount Buffalo Road and the road to the scenic Buckland Valley.

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MOUNT BUFFALO CHALET The historic Mount Buffalo Chalet is located 14 kilometres before the summit. The chalet is currently being renovated (it’s always being renovated, it seems), however visitors are welcome to explore its beautiful grounds. A number of scenic walking tracks and lookouts are easily accessible from near the

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MOUNT BUFFALO, VICTORIA

MOUNT BUFFALO, VICTORIA

Head to Great Alpine Road out of Porepunkah to the main roundabout and turn onto Mount Buffalo road.

Warm the tyres up for the first quiet part of a kilometre then you’re into the twisties all the way up the hill to The Horn Lookout.

Have a rest and enjoy the view at the lookout or simply turn around and whip back down the hill. You might like to do it all again a number of times to really scrub up those tyres.

In the winter you do need to plan your timing as snow and ice can cover the road.

Distance – 39km each way Fuel – Porepunkah

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chalet, and they lead to several natural attractions including the Crystal Brook Falls.

LADIES BATH FALLS

Ladies Bath and Eurobin Falls are among the first places you can stop on your way up Mount Buffalo.

In the early 20th century, travellers would stop here to cool off on their way to the Mount Buffalo chalet.

The men and women would separate and Ladies Bath is where the women would come to dip their toes in the refreshing waters of Crystal Brook.

Although the waterfall doesn’t look very big, this creek has formed the huge chasm you will see up at the top of Eurobin Falls.

This is a great place for a picnic and, in the summer, to escape the heat of the Ovens and Buckland valleys.

If you are cooling off at Ladies Bath Falls, be careful walking over the rocks as they can be very slippery.

There is one trail to access both Ladies Bath and Eurobin Falls.

Departing from a small roadside carpark, the Eurobin Falls Track climbs past the Ladies Bath Falls and onto Lower Eurobin Falls, then continues up to the base of the Upper Falls.

MOUNT BUFFALO

Get closer to nature at this spectacular ‘island in the sky’, home to plants found nowhere else on Earth. Sheer cliffs, granite tors, waterfalls and big views make Mount Buffalo a must-see alpine retreat. Hike through stunted Snow Gum forests, toboggan in Cresta Valley, camp at Lake Catani - and admire the view from the Horn. There’s something to do in every season.

Camp in the company of wombats on the shores of Lake Catani, an idyllic spot high in the Alps that’s perfect for a swim.

Follow the Lakeside Walk through twisted Snow Gum forests and breathe in the fresh mountain air. Check out the view from The Horn, the highest point in Mount Buffalo National Park at 1723m. Watch Australian Kestrels dive on Bogong Moths at sunset.

In times gone by, Aboriginal people made summer ascents to Mount Buffalo to feast on protein-rich

Bogong moths and hold ceremonies.

Mount Buffalo is home to charismatic Australian wildlife and 550 species of native plants, including plants found nowhere else on Earth, such as the Buffalo Sallee tree.

THE HORN LOOKOUT AND THE HORN

Perched on top of granite cliffs at the edge of the Mount Buffalo plateau, The Horn is a unique landscape.

Dotted here and there among the great boulders are the twisted, sunbleached trunks of Snow Gums that

have succumbed to bushfires over the years. A stone lookout shelter perched precariously atop the cliff overlooks all of this as well as the surrounding mountains far below.

Bring your lunch and enjoy the Alpine scene from the comfort of a table at The Horn Picnic Area. The picnic area isn’t actually at the top of The Horn. You can access the summit via a short walk (45 minutes return).

This is also a popular place to watch a sunset. Otherwise, just enjoy the solitude of this mountain peak far above the worries of civilisation. D www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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TRAVEL

THE AGONY OF CHOICE What bike to buy for adventures?

Here’s one option WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR

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KTM keeps increasing its range of adventure bikes, down and up.

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T R AV E L 1

O

NE OF THE MOST common and also most frustrating questions we get here at Australian Motorcyclist is: “What bike should I buy?”

It is a little less frustrating when the motorcycle is an adventure bike.

At least we don’t have to ask, among other things: “what are you going to use it for?” as we usually do. Why not?

Because these days we just answer “the red one”. That’s the one you really want, isn’t it? Just kidding. Maybe.

For adventure travel I have generally recommended the same bikes for quite a few years. For relatively short rides, like a few weeks, into the Outback here in Australia, probably taking in a lot of on-road riding, my preference has been for a Suzuki DL650 V-Strom, a BMW F XXX GS or a Triumph Tiger. Civilised motorcycles with decent and sometimes quite outstanding unsealed road capability.

They do suffer from some of the drawbacks of their bigger relations when it comes to the tough stuff, though, especially complexity.

Once it gets more serious and you begin heading out into hard, remote and poorly-serviced round-theworld territory, I have been inclined to suggest the Kawasaki KLR650 or Suzuki’s DR650. Tough, proven bikes with good parts support and acceptable comfort if you upgrade the seat with an AirHawk or Wild Ass inflatable seat cover.

Okay, why have I not been suggesting the Triumph Explorer, BMW R 1250 GS Adventure or any of KTM’s big adventure tourers?

Definitely not because of innate shortcomings in those amazing motorcycles. They will take you anywhere you want to go and ask for more. But they are also big, complex, relatively heavy (this matters less than you might think because they are so competent) and eye-wateringly expensive. They can be overkill.

Impressive, awesome and quite beautiful powerhouses. But overkill.

There are other marques which make adventure-style bikes, and they often have loyal followers. Ducati is one brand that comes to mind.

I would, however, be reluctant to 54

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2 3

1. It might be worth looking at unusual adventure brands like Benelli.

2. BMW’s naming policy is weird, but the bikes are terrific.

3. The 650 Suzuki V-Strom remains one of the most popular choices.

4. The Multistrada has had some odd faces, but now looks great.

5. Sadly, the Super Ten did not fulfill Yamaha’s hopes. It’s gone.

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4

5

Tuscany Sardinia Corsica

HIGHLIGHTS Riding on Sardinia, Venice, Cinque Terre, Florence, Siena, Leaning Tower in Pisa, riding on mountainous Corsica, Chianti region.

2021 / 2022 DATES

AusMoto_185x130-TSC.indd 1

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adriaticmototours.com

COUNTRY Italy, France

DURATION 16 days / 14 riding days

ROUTE LENGTH 2.700 km ( 1.700 miles)

01/02/2021 18:28

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T R AV E L

1 suggest a Multistrada for long-range Amazon, you don’t take a beautifully travel simply because the technology balanced and razor-sharp scalpel, you is highly sophisticated and repairs, if take a machete. To give you an idea anything should go wrong, would be of how even a relatively simple but problematic. Moto Guzzi has gone unnecessary feature on a bike can from all the complexity of the average cause major difficulties, remember hammer to something much more like ‘Long Way Down’ when a faulty a BMW or a Ducati with its V85. sidestand cutout switch immobilized The Super Ténéré from Yamaha one of the bikes. Of course they might seem like a decent compromise had satellite phones. between the big boys and the I like ABS and suspect that any bike smaller, simpler and lighter machines. which will be ridden in the insane Unfortunately, Yamaha’s traffic and unpredictable hope of finding a slot road environment of the “THE PRICE OF Third World should have for the bike among the multitude of adventure ADMISSION TO it fitted. But electronics machinery was not to be like cornering ABS, ADVENTURE fulfilled. The bike is being traction and wheelie discontinued. Other controls – not to mention RIDING HAS brands such as Benelli are predictive suspension – DROPPED” getting into the adventure are simply unnecessary game too, but we have yet and potentially a pain if to see how well they will serve they fail. I’m not sure, but they may the purpose. possibly even be dangerous.

There are common potential Okay, then, I wouldn’t suggest the problems with top-of-the-line big, complex machines that usually adventure bikes, apart from not selling, almost seem to define adventure riding like the Super Ténéré. For the kind of for serious Third World work. I would travel that I have in mind, simplicity suggest that for the heavy work, you and ruggedness are two irreplaceable avoid the heavy machinery. That’s not characteristics. If you’re going into the to say that the likes of litre-plus BMW, 56

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KTM and Ducati adventure bikes don’t have a place. That place just isn’t on the loose rock of South American volcanoes, the deep mud of Russian back roads or the potential isolation of sub-Saharan Africa.

On the crap roads of Eastern Europe, on the other hand…

Do I still like the KLRs and DRs and their like? Of course I do. I find it hard to go past a single cylinder bike, despite the liquid cooling that’s becoming de rigueur. But there is now a motorcycle I would recommend ahead of the Japanese adventure thumpers. The bike is the Royal Enfield Himalayan. Cheap as chips, reliable, with plenty of well-priced touring accessories available, easy to work on and without the requirement of many and complex spare parts… what’s not to like?

Yes, with its 400cc engine the Himalayan will seem underpowered for many riders, but think about where you will be using the bike. We are not talking superslab, where a Himalayan would not be enjoyable, but back roads and tracks, many of them gravel or dirt. I had a Himalayan for a while and found it effective transport despite, or

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2

3 4

maybe because of, its simplicity.

Spike Milligan defined the Indian dhobi wallah or laundryman as someone who attempts to break rocks with the aid of your clothes; the Himalayan has the same somewhat basic charm.

The price of admission to adventure riding has dropped, then.

The Royal Enfield Himalayan is made to be used hard; accessories are available at reasonable prices and you can always adapt stuff yourself.

The electrical system is simple and will accept all sorts of accessories without complaint. I know, I’ve fitted various bits of lighting and so on to the one I used to own.

A word of warning: don’t buy cheap ebay accessories.

Now the word is that a larger capacity Himalayan will hit the shops in 2021, using Royal Enfield’s 650cc twin cylinder engine. To be honest, I wouldn’t wait. But hold on. If the Himalayan is so good, why did I trade mine in on a BMW? Ah, that’s another story… D 1. Heere’s Johnny-come-lately, the Royal Enfield Himalayan.

2. Naturally my bike had BarkBuster handguards. Got to have ‘em.

3. The bike is just made for accessories like these GL bags.

4. Whatever you do, stay clear of cheap accessories like this spot.

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USED&ABUSED

THE BEAR IS PLAYING WITH ALL SORTS OF

f f stu

W

HAT HAVE WE BEEN playing with lately (yes, thank you, no need for the obvious comment) and how have we liked it (ditto)? Some new items and a bit of an update on something already reviewed. Here we go.

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Wunderlich move hydration backpack – $89 procycles .com.au

One day, I’ll tell you the story of the Magical Moving Motorcycle Compact and convenient, the Bar, but you’ll need to grow Wunderlich Move hydration pack up a bit before it’s safe to unleash that secret upon the is an answer to summer riding. sadly conservative motorcycle community that surrounds us today. Meanwhile, let’s take a look at the Wunderlich Hydration Backpack.

“Our combination of a drinking system sports backpack lets you quench your thirst simply and comfortably while on the go, without stopping or losing time,” says my buddy Arno from Wunderlich. “Comes with a volume of two litres for racking up lots of thirst-free kilometres. The drinking system is PVC-free, safe for food and taste-neutral. It consists of a pouch that can be filled by tap or by bottle. A flexible drinking hose supplies the user. It’s fitted with a so-called bite valve for drinking it opens when you press on it with your teeth.

“The backpack is especially light but still robust,” according to Arno. “This is down to the honeycomb fabric that pairs low weight with good tear resistance thanks to its honeycomb structure and looks fantastic at the same time. The backpack is also tailored close to the body and ergonomically, the shoulder and hip supports extend out to a comfortable width while being cushioned and fitted with adjustable straps.

This also means it sits brilliantly over your motorcycle jacket.”

What more could you ask for? The Move might seem to be just another backpack hydration system, but the high quality along with the low price makes it a good choice.

I have been using mine in 40+ temperatures and finding that it’s pretty much right between fill-ups for the bike, but I do stop more often in summer. If you need a lot of water, you will want another backpack.

I fill mine with ice and then top up with cold water.

Whatever you do and however you do it, make sure you have some hydration plan when you’re riding in the brutal summers we’re having.

Wunderlich’s Move is moving me right along.

Off Road Rukka® R.O.R Jacket and Daytona® TransTourman GTX Boots

On Road Rukka® Stretchair Jacket and Daytona® Max Sports GTX Boots

Short Riders: 6 cm heel height makes a big difference at the traffic lights.

PT That bite valve is priceless.

Water when you need it, none when you don’t.

sales@innotesco.com.au • Tel. 0414 814194 Shop online at www.innotesco.com.au

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USED & ABUSED Vespa VJ helmet – $359

Aerostich tank panniers – $US177 aerostich.com

You’ve seen photos of them, even if you’ve never encountered one in real life: a fully kitted BMW airhead (the bike, that is) with panniers, tank bags, kitbags and sleeping bags slung across the seat and rear rack, pot racks… and tank panniers. Ready to take on the Outback with all the equipment necessary to live comfortably for a month off the grid and do a complete engine overhaul by the side of the track. I am not making fun here; that’s precisely what my R 75 looked like.

Apart from pot racks (storage space over the cylinders of an airhead BMW), tank panniers almost defined serious touring BMWs. Not that you couldn’t have them on other bikes, but for some reason Beemer riders loved them.

They were usually made from a pair of ammunition bags held together by ex-Army webbing and what they did to the paint of the tank was horrific, even if they rested on an old towel which inevitably shifted during the ride.

Aerostich in the US has updated the old tank panniers to create a remarkable pair of bags which are not only just as useful as the old ones, but won’t scratch your tank and will make your bike look better, if anything.

They are also perfectly usable on motorcycles other than BMW airheads, in case you were wondering.

“These tough, semi-rigid containers keep your load low and secure,” writes my old mate Andy Goldfine from Aerostich. “Extremely handy for day-to-day use with or without a tank bag, they fit a variety of unfaired motorcycles... Constructed of tough, water resistant urethane coated 1000 Denier Cordura nylon with an adjustable mounting system: two padded, two-inch wide, hook & loop closed webbing straps plus two adjustable bungee shock cords.

Hook & loop attached neoprene tank pads protect your paint and eliminate slippage. Removable plastic inserts shape and define both of the bags.

The panniers also feature two pockets along the rear panels for small items like pencils and a tire gage (gauge, in English), several 1” web straps for 60

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vespa.com.au

Some folks out there are not keen on open-face or jet style helmets. I can understand that, but I don’t much share their concern. Perhaps that’s because I have never done a faceplant while wearing one, but then I’ve never done a faceplant while wearing a full-face helmet either. Around town I simply prefer the lesser weight and extra ventilation of a jet helmet. The choice, as always, is yours and yours alone.

The Vespa Jet Helmet is a smart-looking one with a full length clear visor and an internal retractable short tinted sun visor. The sun visor is quite close to my face, which means that I need to push my specs up the bridge of my nose if I want to use it; it is also short enough so that you need to use It’s amazing what even the the clear visor as smaller tank panniers will hold, well if you here on our Honda GB400.

attaching additional items, and 3M Scotchlite reflective material on the front and outside panels.

Available in Black or Hi-Viz Yellow.

Standard (12”×9”×5”, 8.8 L ) or Competition (12”×7.5”×4.5”, 6.6L).

Okay there, Andy? ‘Hook & Loop’, by the way, is what we call Velcro.

Americans are not allowed to say that or the Velcro company comes around and administers Brazilians without the benefit of wax. I have been using the Competition (I don’t need the extra size) Aerostich tank panniers on our Honda GB400 long-termer, and they work beautifully. I’m certainly not about to risk the superb paintwork that Lawrence of Collideascope in Hornsby produced. They are about to serve their first long-term use on the BMW F 750 GS. Ordering stuff from Aerostich requires a bit of consideration, because shipping from the US is not cheap. But they make things that nobody else does (stay tuned, I will have some more), so every now and then it’s worth paying the extra and waiting. And waiting. in this age of the Plague, the post is slow.

PT

Pando capo cor 01 shirt – $US304.63/€259 pandomoto.com

You may recall that I commented on this shirt some time ago. I’ve worn it a lot since then and have discovered a couple of additional things about it. The slim fit (how is it that it fits you, Bear? I hear you ask; mind your own business) unisex overshirt is made of 12oz super-stretch Cordura denim, which will protect you from abrasion and road burns if you decide to skid along the ground for any reason, but it also does something else. In a way I have never experienced before with any material, it seems to collect the rays of the sun and pass them on. In even thin sunlight, this makes the shirt remarkably warm.

No doubt that’s useful in northern latitudes, but it is a two-edged sword in Australia. If the ambient temperature is low, it’s really nice. I have ridden, and been comfortable, below five degrees without a jacket over the shirt. On the other hand the shirt quickly warms up in direct sun, no matter what temperature the air is. It’s wonderful in the cooler seasons and at night, but you’ll

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5/02/2021 1:15:13 AM

The Vespa VJ with just the clear visor down

eye protection.

find yourself taking advantage of the ventilation YKK zippers on the armpits to adjust airflow in sunlight. In my first review I criticized the open top of the shirt’s breast pockets, which I suggested would fill up with water in case of rain. It was quickly pointed out to me that the shirt is not intended as rainwear, which is fair enough.

But the Cordura material is in fact pleasantly rain resistant, at least in light showers. One other thing I have noticed is that the studs which close the pockets and the front of the shirt are a bit fiddly and take rather too much effort to close.

But that’s really nitpicking; I like the shirt very much, not least because it makes even me look quite smart! Not as smart Yes, you too can look this good as the young lady in the with a Pando shirt on. Although photo, admittedly. PT that’s not guaranteed…

R

5

AN

sun visor adds

TY

(left), while the

YEA

want to keep the wind out of your eyes.

This visor has carbon arms that hold it to the pivot point, making it less likely to break or vibrate.

The Italian-made helmet has an ABS shell and the strap has a micrometric retention system. The removable antiallergenic fabric lining is both washable and breathable. The VJ looks smart with stylish colour combinations and the finish is high quality. It is also reasonably quiet, at least on my head. Sizes are XS-XL. In effect, this helmet comes as close to perfection for around-town wear as any I have ever tried. The fact that it’s badged ‘Vespa’ is actually good for a laugh at the confusion it can cause. PT

WARR

AUTO CUT-OF F

Mini Pump

» Select pressure, switch ON and the pump

automatically switches OFF when the pressure is reached.

» Displays in PSI, BAR or KPA » Pumps to 50 PSI » Actual Pump size: 10.5 x 12.9 x 5.3cm » Light weight and portable - weighs only 497g The Kit includes the MotoPressor Mini Pump with Digital Pressure Gauge and all the power leads and connectors to run from your motorcycle battery or a mini jump starter, packed neatly into a sturdy carry case.

ASK FOR IT AT YOUR LOCAL DEALER OR BUY ONLINE

rockycreekdesigns.com.au

Ph: 02 6689 5703 www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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USED & ABUSED Smart and light, and with the ability to open up for photos. Just tops

Isn’t it amazing that his Tiger Angel suit still fits? So does the AGV SportModular.

Agv sportmodular helmet – $999

agvhelmets.com.au. or your local bike shop They do say that women excel at multi-tasking, which suggests that men don’t. I understand the former, but I am not so sure about the latter.

Consider what is asked of me when I go for a ride. I need to navigate safely, assess the bike, remember to fill up, set a good example to other road users, take photos and remember my name all at the same time.

One thing that is a help with two, or actually three of those requirements is a flip-front or modular helmet. I can, as the name suggests, flip up the front when using the camera without going to the trouble of removing the helmet or when paying for fuel to avoid freaking out the pump jockey.

Further, because I put a ‘BEAR’ sticker on my helmets it can remind me of my name.

Yes, I know any other kind of helmet can do that too. Who’s writing this review?

You will have noted elsewhere in these pages that I express a preference for a jet-style helmet around the city.

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On longer rides at higher speeds, however, I am prepared to sacrifice the light weight of such a helmet for the extra protection the full face offers – more from the wind, rain, bugs and cold than in case of a crash. The ideal would of course be a modular helmet that is also light.

The AGV SportModular is the closest I have yet come to the lightness of a jet helmet. Made entirely of carbon fibre, both shell and chinpiece, the structure of the SportModular is designed to achieve the same protection performance as the MotoGP Pista GP R from AGV in a remarkably lightweight construction combining, according to AGV, the highest levels of comfort and safety.

The company says that it is not only “designed to offer 190° horizontal view as the human eye capability”, but also “conceived in the wind tunnel for superior quietness, aero stability and ventilation”. I am both intrigued and impressed by anything conceived in a wind tunnel of course

(try imagining it), and find the SportModular I have been wearing to be acceptably quiet, even on a bike without a substantial windscreen.

As well, AGV seems to have moved to a more circular head form for this helmet. In the past, I usually found AGVs to be somewhat too ‘long’ for my square-ish head. Circular is much better, so the shape of this one is fine. The helmet is also a highquality product with good adjustable ventilation, something that AGV has been doing well for quite a long time. The fastening is by D-rings; on balance I probably prefer a microfastener clip, but since this helmet is for long distances out in the country, I don’t take it off as often as a city helmet. See the advantages of a flipfront, above.

I’m looking forward to wearing this helmet quite a bit this summer as I perforce explore NSW. PT All of the products I have reviewed in this column were supplied for assessment by the manufacturers or importers. All right, Colin? D

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TRAVEL

THE LUCKIEST HONKY IN GEORGIA

Lucky I had a couple of beers in my improvised ice box.

You never know what lies behind those swinging doors WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR

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T R AV E L

And I guess I was lucky to reach the Pacific coast, as well.

I was lucky to get some

I

T WAS 1980 AND I was on the last lap of my RTW ride, through the US. I had been using a little book that listed what seemed like all the campgrounds in America, and I had learned to rely on it. But when I arrived at the address which my book assured me was the one and only campground in Atlanta, Georgia, I found a building site instead. Lacking a backstop that was within my budget, I decided to splurge. I found a telephone booth and rang the YMCA. Yes, they had a room and it wasn’t even too expensive. The bloke on the phone gave me directions, and before long I rolled up in front of an impressive building downtown.

The clerk saw the travel-stained XL250 and suggested that I bring it inside and park it in a corridor “where I can see it”. Now some people might have pricked up their ears at that, but that’s exactly what had been happening to me all over Asia, so I didn’t twig.

A quick shower – it had been a hot, dry, dusty day – and a fresh t-shirt (I only had one pair of pants) and I was ready for dinner. The streets around

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sleep in the baking heat

the Y looked like of Death Valley. some kind of culinary paradise to me with every kind of Southern cuisine available for what seemed to me like very reasonable prices.

I wandered around and finally settled on a place that claimed to offer the best fried chicken in the world. I have since seen that claim repeated a few dozen times by one to be seen. I suppose even if different restaurants and street stalls I had noticed it, it would not have in the South, and you know what? bothered me. Oblivious of what in They’ve always been right. retrospect I seem to remember were So it was this time, and I lingered some curious looks, I made my way over my meal and made a few notes down the street. in my little book, including one about Before long I noticed a Westernthe last campsite in Atlanta being themed bar to one side. It had turned into a high-rise. Outside, day those louvered swinging half doors, turned to dusk and dusk turned to like the ones the good guy always night before I paid and headed back stumbles out of backwards when in the direction of the YMCA. the bad guy treacherously hits him, Had I been American, I might before recovering and throwing said have noticed something about the bad guy across the table with the other people in the street. But I was, card game going on, inside. There and am, Australian (even though by was some very passable piano playing adoption) so it never occurred to coming through that door, and me that my face was the only white a relaxed hubbub of conversation.

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I pushed my way through the swinging doors and the most amazing thing happened.

Everything stopped.

Conversation and even the piano were silenced as if on a secret signal.

People even stopped with their drinks halfway to their mouths.

All eyes were on me, and the realisation finally came to me – all of those eyes were in black faces.

I looked back and my common sense kicked in with a vengeance.

Suddenly I remembered the street scene. Everyone had been black out there, too. I can remember thinking

“if I run, they’ll catch me”.

Now fortunately for me, the layout of the place was such that the bar itself ran along the side of the room to my left, and a bartender was standing quite close to me. I looked at him, my eyes just as wide as his, and said the only thing that came to my mind, continuing my line of thought from before I had opened the swinging door to this… situation.

I said, “Can I get a beer?”

The bartender looked at me with wrinkled brow and replied, “Where’re you from?” -- “Australia,” I said. Conversation started up again, the piano player resumed his work and the bartender turned away to draw me a beer. All around me, people took deep drafts from their glasses as if relieved of a serious worry.

One very large, clearly very fit and casually well-dressed patron came over and said, Not so lucky fixing “Hey, Aussie, you from

that rear tube -- for

Sydney?” I agreed that yes, I was, and he grinned. “That is one great town,” he added, and proceeded to reminisce about ‘Reesches’ beer and the Sydney girls. Especially the Sydney girls. He was a Marine and had visited Sydney on R&R from Vietnam. So had some of his buddies who gathered round and regaled me with stories of barbecues and beach parties… and girls.

Especially girls. My heartfelt thanks to the Sydney girls of the ‘60s.

I still had not been allowed to buy a beer by midnight but had downed more than I can remember, courtesy of my Marine friends. I said, “Fellas, I have to ride tomorrow. I better get back to the Y.” “Okay,” said one of my newfound best friends. “But you ain’t goin’ by yourself.” So four of them, each about a foot taller than me, surrounded me and walked me back to the Y. As we left the bar, I heard someone behind me say: “There goes the luckiest honky in Georgia.”

Not surprisingly, there are no photos of this escapade. D

the fifth time.

And here I am in LA waiting for my flight home. One lucky honky. www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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4/02/2021 11:47:04 PM

AWESOME DESTINATIONS #6 WORDS RICHARD MILLINGTON IMAGES MOTORRAD TOURS

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T R AV E L

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W

HEN IT COMES TO places around the world to ride motorcycles, there are so many possibilities for epic riding, sensational scenery and fascinating culture. To help you pick through and inspire you to get out and find your ultimate riding adventure, we’ve compiled destination guides for some of the best places in the world to ride your bike.

AMM Cusco. The Sacred Valley. Machu Picchu. Lake Titicaca. The Andes.

Nazca. Peru is like a rock and roll hall of fame for iconic landmarks.

It’s a fascinating place to travel and best of all, being on a bike lets you tie it all together with some fantastic riding roads. The secret to a riding trip here is to balance the riding out with days off the bike to take it all in, rather than simply rushing around the monuments so you can jump back on the bike and make it to the next town before sunset.

The roads

In terms of the best places to go, a favourite riding spot of ours for scenery has to be crossing the Andes to Cusco and then heading north to the beautiful Río Urubamba Valley.

Stunning views surround roads that start sweeping and flowing before progressing to technical hairpins and tighter sections. The beautiful Río Urubamba Valley is about 12 miles north of Cuzco as the condor flies and is home to archaeological sites of Pisac, Ollantaytambo and Chinchero.

For incredible riding there’s a stretch from Nazca to Chalhuanca that blends super grippy asphalt with a mix of tight, twisty sections and more flowing, open stretches.

It’s a recipe for massive smiles and the sort of lean angles that have ground the corners off panniers, even on knobbly tyres, in the past. www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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T R AV E L There are enough twists and turns here to occupy two full days of apex hunting fun.

At the other end of the fun road spectrum is a trip over the border into Bolivia to ride the infamous Camino de Muerte – The Road of Death.

This narrow, perilous road hangs on the cliff face through La Cumbre pass and is a challenging ride requiring 100% concentration. The road’s reputation remains, but the danger is vastly reduced these days as the buses and trucks that used to cause most of the drama now use a new alternative route.

The weather

Being close to the equator means

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a fairly consistent temperature all year round, usually in the 17-19 degrees Celsius range in Cusco.

And up in the mountains, as is the norm, temperatures can be considerably cooler, so pack a few warmer layers. There is a rainy season from December to March, so our favourite time to go is towards the end of peak season, in August and September, as things start to relax.

The best places to visit

Peru spoils you for choice when it comes to fascinating places to see.

For architecture and history, definitely head to the White City of Arequipa with its baroque cathedral and white

volcanic stone buildings. Arequipa is also the home to the Santa Catalina Monastery and the Ice Maiden Juanita; the frozen mummy of a young girl sacrificed on Mount Ampato in the late 1400s. And don’t forget the Nazca Lines - ancient geometric lines that crisscross the Nazca desert, accompanied by enigmatic animal line drawings, thought to have been made by a pre-Inca civilisation between AD 450 and 600.

The famous Machu Picchu is a spot that commands, and meets, high expectations. This Incan citadel set high in the Andes was built in the 15th century and is renowned for its sophisticated dry-stone walls that fuse

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T R AV E L

huge blocks without the use of mortar and intriguing buildings that play on astronomical alignments and panoramic views.

As well as visiting ancient and sometimes baffling architecture, we’d recommend unwinding with a trip to the Colca Canyon for some Condor spotting and checking out the floating Islands of Uros on Lake Titicaca – built entirely of reeds and originally constructed as a means of escape from the Spanish Conquistadors.

The bits to avoid

Altitude sickness - careful planning is required to manage the altitudes when riding in this region; you can 72

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Who is Motoradd Tours Motorrad Tours is an Official Travel Partner of BMW Motorrad, founded by Richard Millington and headed up by Chris Hone, the man behind the words in this feature. Between them, they have years of experience and literally millions of miles of route planning and tour delivery under their belt. Across their team of tour leaders, they have a comprehensive knowledge of the best riding destinations on planet Earth and they’ve spent the last decade perfecting riding adventures around them. From the Highlands of Scotland to the rice paddies of Vietnam, Motorrad Tours trips keep people coming back time and time again. So if you want to see the best a country has to offer the adventurous motorcyclist, give Motorrad Tours a call on +44 (0) 1622

ride as high as 4650m above sea level, so always make time to acclimatise and avoid one day big ascents. Increase the altitude in stages over several days.

The food

When you’re visiting Arequipa and basking in the shadow of the volcanoes, make sure you take the chance to dine at Zig Zig – they’ll bring you incredible steaks including alpaca, beef, duck, all cooked perfectly raw. Then they bring out a hot stone for you to cook each mouthful to perfection on.

A Peruvian delicacy worth trying is Cuy and is like eating a fishy-tasting salty meat, just don’t tell the kids you’ve eaten it if they have any small,

‘rodenty’ pets – it’s guinea pig. Stir fry beef Lomo Saltado is fantastic and you must try a Peruvian Pisco Sour cocktail. The national soft drink is Inca Kola and tastes like a sugary version of mountain dew – perfect if you’ve a real sweet tooth.

Our favourite bit

Machu Picchu and the other ancient monuments are obviously high on the list; you go to them expecting to be amazed and they do exactly that.

It’s the things you didn’t expect that always leave the biggest impression and the great riding roads certainly fall into that category. The great thing about Peru is also what it’s surrounded by – you’re a stone’s

776686 or log onto their website www.motorrad-tours.com to see where they are headed to next.

throw from Bolivia and you can drop into Chile to the Atacama Desert, the driest place on earth.

Peru and its neighbouring countries are often among people’s ‘Must See’ destinations, made famous by their incredible and mysterious ancient architecture. And rightly so, but there is so much more to Peru than this – you’ll be blown away by the quality of some of the riding roads, left in awe at the landscape and humbled by the hospitality. D www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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EVENT

DAKAR RALLY2 0 2 1 Always plenty of highs… and lows (ouch) WORDS STUART PHOTOS VARIOUS, KTM, RED BULL

D

AKAR 2021 HAS BEEN run and won with Honda mounted rider Kevin Benavides coming up tops.

The stages this year were extremely difficult with a brand-new route, which started and finished in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia - 4800 gruelling kilometres split across 12 timed special stages.

It turned out that whoever was leading each day basically lost mega amounts of time due to the difficult navigation and unknown terrain, although this did change as the rally got into the latter stages.

A major challenge is timing: when the roadbooks become accessible.

For 2021 that was just 10-minutes prior to the start of each stage, whereas previously the riders and their route planners if they had them

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would have had time to go over the notes to get familiar with the route.

Four Aussies tackled Dakar this year. Aussie legend Toby Price, riding for the factory KTM Red Bull team, was looking in there for the win but unfortunately (as it sometimes goes) crashed on Stage 9, breaking his collarbone and hand and having to be flown to hospital.

As expected, Toby was fast from the get go. Of note were Stage 7 and Stage 8, which were classed as Marathon stages where no team mechanics can service or touch the bike between stages. Toby blew his rear tyre on Stage 7 and used some bush mechanics to make duct tape and cable ties hold it together for Stage 8. Well, it must have worked okay, despite only one cable tie being left at the refuelling stop and “going easy on the throttle”, Toby came in second – wow! Toby now has ‘Bush Mechanic’ t-shirts for sale on his website. LOL!

Toby was joined by fellow Australian Daniel Sanders, also riding for KTM, but not the full Red Bull factory team for his first attempt at the world’s premier rally raid.

Dan was the man of the meeting, coming in fourth overall despite many challenges: a crash, a bent front wheel, being stung by a bee.

He produced some mega speed, claiming many top five results in various stages. Dan won the rookie class by over two hours! He was also only 38 minutes off the overall win – he is certainly one to watch.

Riding privateer KTMs and both completing their maiden Dakar events, Michael Burgess impressed finishing 27th overall and Andrew Houlihan finished in 50th position riding with a broken hand! These Dakar guys are made of tough stuff.

It will be interesting to see what rules the organisers come up with next year to make life tough for competitors. D

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Andrew Houlihan

Michael Burgess

All good mate

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On the road

They seem to have a thing about emus in Lightning Ridge.

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again It was good to get out during the lull in the virus WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR

A

T THE END OF Day One. “Do you have a pool?” I asked the bloke in reception at the Wee Waa Motel.

“Oh yes. Just go out here, around to the left and you will see it.”

I donned my swimmers, picked up a towel and headed out. Couldn’t find the pool, though. Looked pretty hard, just about walked all the way around the block.

“I can’t find your pool,” I said when I made my way back to reception.

“Oh, it is the public pool, over there.”

“So you don’t actually have a pool.

For the motel.”

“No.” I like Wee Waa, and not only for the name. It has the first three-story building erected in north-western NSW, and wouldn’t you know it… it’s the pub.

For a building of its size, the Imperial Hotel has a remarkably small bar and therefore had a small crowd in this time of the virus, although it has Tamworth’s excellent Welders Dog on tap. It also has a sizeable and pretty good restaurant, which is just as well because the only other place in town where you can get a meal is the club. The pub had what I suspect is the largest number of different parmies ever seen advertised on its chalkboard, but I restricted myself to a carbonara which was fine. I’m a wimp.

I cannot finish an Australian pub parmie.

This is probably sounding as if it’s leading to a round condemnation of the place, but that’s not right. It’s just that in my recollections of Wee Waa, the ‘Cotton Capital of Australia’ then and now, was a lot more prosperous and flash when I was there last. Well, okay, that was some 35 years ago when I organised the Wine & Cheese Run, a rally based at the Cuttabri Wine Shanty not far out of town, suggested by my friend Peter Colwell. I brought a cube of cheese about a foot to a side, and the shanty provided the wine for the collection of diehard rallygoers who fronted.

We all camped behind the shanty and had a pretty good time, if eating industrialsize and -type cheese and drinking sweet muscat by the cask can be called a good time. It certainly seemed like it to us.

Wine shanties are unique to Australia as far as I know. The one in Cuttabri held – and may possibly hold again – the number 2 wine shanty license in New South Wales. It was established in 1882 www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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The sun is not kind to humanmade structures.

by a bullocky who figured out that it was more profitable to sell grog than to deliver it. Wine shanties, like wine bars in the city, were not allowed to sell beer or spirits but could stock fortified wines, which were their stock in trade for many decades.

Anyway, back then three and a half decades ago, the Cuttabri Wine Shanty was still going, although I doubt that they ever again, or maybe before, had the same amount of trade as on the Wine & Cheese Run weekend.

Wee Waa was the big smoke for Cuttabri, and I know that several of us recovered from our king-sized hangovers there before heading home.

So yes, I like Wee Waa, but it has seen better days. One pub, one motel, one Chinese restaurant in the club is about it. Otherwise the place is suffering the same problems as all country towns of a certain size – it’s just not big enough. I guess a lot of money goes to Narrabri, not far away.

And while the carpets at the Wee Waa Motel could do with a severe vacuuming (well, let’s not beat about the Bush – see what I did there? – with replacement) and the price could do with a bit of a cut, the town is still up there in my estimations.

The people are nice.

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Rain, rain, don’t go away

is here!” He was right, too, as toothless It had been an interesting ride. The ancients often are. Maccas was packed weather up the coast was supposed with citizens desperate for caffeine to be a bit dicey, so I made my way and possibly an opportunity to pass to Wee Waa across the Blue Mountains on Covid, so I decided to ride on. and up along the Castlereagh Highway.

As usual, the Farm View Café at the This may have been the optimum base of Cherry Tree Hill was closed, route but it was not necessarily and the next realistic place for coffee a good one, at least to Lithgow. is Mudgee. Instead of talking the The mountains provided a thin, ring road I therefore joined a totally gormless drizzle that was not rain inexplicable traffic jam into the middle but not dry, either, and did it at about of town. The first café I tried wanted 12 degrees. I was dressed to sell me a full meal, but the second for the 30+ temperatures one, the Harvest Café, came I had been led to expect good with decent coffee by the weather bureau, and a pastry just to “IT WAS so I was somewhat round things out.

ESTABLISHED chilled. But the I had dried out IN 1882 BY A drizzle had stopped pretty quickly

by Lithgow and after Lithgow, and BULLOCKY, IT WAS I soon began to MORE PROFITABLE TO Gulgong, Dunedoo dry out. and Mendooran SELL GROG THAN Call me a spineless flashed by pretty TO DELIVER IT.” hypocrite, but I quickly. I like the wanted a coffee and steam engine and the the McCafe at Lithgow whatever-it-is they’ve seemed the best bet for one. got set up across from the I pulled up in the carpark where pub in Mendooran, but I’ve never a toothless, thinly-bearded ancient, stopped to check into the no doubt irresistibly reminiscent of the narrator fascinating story they represent. from the Ancient Mariner, drew near North to Coonabarabran, and and cackled “the coffee machine at I should probably explain why Hungry Jack’s is broken… everybody I have not mentioned the roads

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On the road again, does me good to be on

Wee Waa has

the road again…

clearly seen better days.

It’s not “spending a penny” out here, it’s “shining a light”.

very much in these recitations.

The reason is simple. In and around the Big Smoke, you know what to expect. On the highway through the mountains, it’s traffic lights at three paces. Once you drop out of the hills (the Blue Mountains are mountains only by courtesy) you’re on the halfway decent network of NSW western roads. A lot of these are good, some are in need of a bit of assistance, but few are bad. You might find that the truck traffic has thrown up some berms in the middle or at the side of the road which, taken at speed, will direct you into the greenery. Well, you should have been looking out for that.

Just follow the signs

Don’t copy my move mentioned above if you can avoid it. Simply take the kind-of-bypass which will take you through the suburbs of Mudgee, always assuming it has some. Gulgong

comes up pretty quickly. Let me recommend that you take the bypass here, too. Otherwise you will find yourself punting from road to road, trying to find the way out.

Ask me how I know.

The road to the T-junction with the Golden Highway is good fun.

Turn left to Dunedoo, and once there turn right into the continuation of the Castlereagh Highway. You leave that at Mendooran to turn right to Coonabarabran. Coona is a top place, with the Siding Springs Observatory just off to the west. Did you know that the astronomers here complained about the western floodlights on the Sydney Harbour Bridge? Had them turned off, too. Apparently the lights spoiled the view. Seems reasonable to me. They are trying to look a fair way.

Okay, you leave town on the Oxley Highway and then take a left onto the Newell for a long, nearly straight run north to Narrabri through the Pilliga. Officially known as the Pilliga Forest but referred to by the locals (and me) as the Pilliga Scrub, or just the Pilliga. It’s probably fair to call it a forest, seeing that about half of its 5000 square kilometres is State Forest, while the other half is nature reserve, national park or State Conservation Area. The trees are pretty small, though, due to poor sandstonebased soils and limited rainfall.

It’s really interesting if you’re a twitcher with birds like diamond firetails, glossy black cockatoos and painted honeyeaters calling it home.

Most of the birds I saw were either ravens or ordinary cockatoos.

The latter also made up most of the roadkill, which is easy to understand

with their suicidal tendency to fly low across the path of vehicles. I guess that’s how they get their kicks out here in the sticks; there is not much else to do in the near-universal forest.

I fueled up on the outskirts of Narrabri right at the corner of the road to the Australia (why is it not “Australian”?) Telescope Compact Array. When I congratulated the bloke in the servo on the rain they’d been having, made obvious by the greenery along the road, he sucked his teeth and gave me the Standard Country Reply to Smartarse City Idiots, or SCRSCI. “Some people have had it, but some people haven’t,” he said sadly in full SCRCI mode, his moustache drooping in sympathy. “We need a lot more.”

I grew up in the country, so I’m familiar with the need to avoid making anyone from outside think that things are going well. Things are never going well for farmers. This is a genetic response that dates back to the Thirty Years’ War and before.

Probably all the way back to Ur. The road out to the telescope hunts through some back roads before getting out into the countryside, but it is well signposted. There is quite a long side road that leads to the actual telescope complex, and when I crossed the last cattle grid before the visitor centre parking area, I was greeted by half a dozen kangaroos. I had hardly seen any of them out on the road with no macropus roadkill at all, so this was a surprise. I suspect they live there because there’s nobody to shoot them. Good on them.

The visitor centre is pretty basic, nothing like the outstanding displays at the Tidbinbilla Deep Space www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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T R AV E L How does an 18 metre tall emu sound to you?

Stanley is scary.

Oh, look, signs!

Anything will amuse you out there.

Communication Complex near Canberra, but there is enough here to give you an idea of what’s going on.

The radio antenna dishes look striking, as they always do to me. The idea that they are reaching out to near the beginning of the universe is constantly amazing. Kangaroos hop among them as if to reinforce the fact that this is in Australia.

And so I came to Wee Waa, and the beginning of this chapter.

Might as well stick with a proven opening for Day Two: here we are at another motel. I had booked a room at the Coolabah Motel in Walgett, but unfortunately the place itself did not look particularly endearing.

A bare square of concrete surrounded by the somehow tragic-looking doors and windows of the rooms just didn’t do it for me. If they’d had a tree in the middle – heaven knows it need not be a genuine coolabah – it would have made all the difference.

Maybe it was just me, but the Coolabah was definitely not me.

I had started the day unable to find anywhere for breakfast in Wee Waa, although I didn’t try very hard either: just a quick lap of the town. It is not unusual for me to put off breakfast on a ride, or even to skip meals.

What I love is riding, not sitting in a café eating one of the more or less universal meals on offer in the country.

If the 118 kilometres from Coonabarabran to Narrabri through the forest is a bit uninspiring, the 140 kilometres from Wee Waa to Walgett beats it hands down. The road runs through farmland, with cotton and wheat predominating – actually there doesn’t seem to be anything else at all 80

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Scoping out the universe near Narrabri.

– and that makes for, er, monotonous scenery. I found myself looking forward to any diversion. Hey, there’s a sign coming up! Let’s see, what is it?

School Bus Route. Okay, amazing.

Is that another one? No. Yes! It is!

Rough section ahead! Fantastic.

What about now? No… yes, although it’s just a mileage marker. Umm, 25 kilometres to Cryon. I would have thought that should be 15 kilometres!

Oh, hey, there’s an actual 90 degree left-hand turn, and there’s a shed!

I’d better stop and take a photo…

Coffee in Walgett

Finally in Walgett, I found a small café in Wee Waa Street with a handicraft shop out the front, and drank a pretty good coffee for breakfast. Thus set up, I turned north towards the Queensland border. Not that I was going to Queensland, a decision reinforced by a flashing sign at the Lightning Ridge turnoff which basically said something like stay home, bloody newsouthwelshmen and -women, okay?

Not much to report in the leadup

to that, with the road mainly a replay of the Pilliga Scrub ride. Except for two emus: what looked like a life-size fake one by the side of the road, and Stanley. He is an 18-metre tall scrap iron sculpture by the side of the road, marking the ridge where Lightning Ridge was named.

It seems a shepherd and some animals were killed here by lightning, so the name is properly descriptive.

Lightning Ridge itself is not what I had pictured for a town based on the digging-up of valuable rocks. It was more reminiscent of one of those places, found mainly in the US, which are famous for having big billboards which claim that they are famous and have attractions like a building where gravity doesn’t work and The Life of Jesus Wax Museum to justify their fame. Yes, yes, there is such a place.

The Ridge offers pleasant-looking motels, pleasant-looking shops, a circular hot mineral water bore bath – pleasant-looking enough -- and a very few reminders of the old days when occupying a bark hut counted you among the gentry. I liked those

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Some reminders of the less salubrious past remain.

and photographed them. what appears to be a stuffed crocodile Did you know that opals are almost on a trampoline. It definitely looks unbelievably expensive? I checked out stuffed. And there are drawings of a couple of (very nicely presented) emus everywhere. I hate emus. shops and was left unable to see Have you seen what’s usually left because my eyes were watering so of a bike and rider after encountering hard. I did have an excellent and an emu? A friend in Germany once well-priced smoked salmon bagel said, “Aber das ist doch bloss ein at Morilla’s Café, and decided that Vogel!” Only a bird? Birdbrain. the many attractions, most of them I got back to Walgett earlier than opal mining tours named after car I had expected, which allowed me to doors (yes, seriously), justified a visit make the inspection at the beginning to the place. Whether you of this chapter of the somortgage your only child’s called Coolabah Motel “OH, HEY, attendance at a private and made it possible for school to buy an opal me to carry on south THERE’S AN is another matter. instead of creeping ACTUAL 90 DEGREE There is quite into one of those LEFT-HAND TURN, a bit of information worn-looking doors.

AND THERE’S A SHED! about the tours, This decision turned including the out well, but only I’D BETTER STOP interesting-sounding after a somewhat AND TAKE A Chamber of the Black fraught ride down PHOTO…” Hand (a kind of NSW to Coonamble and Talc Alf ’s, for those who then on to Gilgandra. have visited Coober Pedy), on It was fraught by the amazing the www.walgett.nsw.gov.au website. number of emus I saw. Fortunately I didn’t do any of the tours because they were all well off in the grain I get claustrophobic and I’m also fields, stuffing themselves on wheat allergic to guided tours of tourist left by the combine harvesters, but attractions. But that’s okay. You go. you never know: a flock of them may I’ll just wait here at the pub, which has choose to move to a field across the a flying kombi van on a pole outside. highway at any time. Flocking emus!

And one of the caravan parks displays I know they’re a symbol of our what,

our nature’s gifts or whatever, but have you ever wondered: why are both of the animals holding up the Australian coat of arms, serious threats to travelling motorcyclists? Hmm?

Conspiracy corner

I’d be the last man to advocate some kind of conspiracy but, well, you know? Out there it’s also easy to think that the world is flat. It sure looks like it. But then again it also looks as if cotton is a sensible crop to grow in Australia, by the amount of it that’s grown here. And it bloody well isn’t, because we simply don’t have the water over the long term.

Frequent home-made signs along the Castlereagh Highway remind you that the farmers want the artesian basin left alone, by cotton growers and especially by fracking gas companies.

I’m with you, blokes. Water is a lot more precious than gas which can be sourced elsewhere, even if it is at slightly higher cost.

As I may have mentioned before, I am somewhat cynical about any of the claims of hard times that come from farmers, because I grew up in a farming community. But I absolutely agree with them that the Great Artesian Basin ought to be left alone.

Er, well, maybe it should be left alone www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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T R AV E L

BMW F 900 XR Beemer boomer

This caravan park in Lightning Ridge has everything.

The quality of the food at Morilla’s café is quite high.

even by some of the farmers; the cotton growers, to be precise.

Coonamble appeared to have two motels. One was full, and the other was empty. Empty in a spooky kind of way. No cars, no people, nobody in the office. Was this the Australian version of the Bates Motel? I don’t think I’d ever be quite as glamorous in the shower as Janet Leigh, but who knows? This was Australia, after all. I moved right along.

The Gilgandra Motel, a hundred kilometres and many more emus down the line, proved to be exactly what I had been looking for – pleasant, modern, with somewhere to lock up the bike and with a licensed restaurant on site.

The restaurant was only doing takeaways because of the virus and wasn’t selling alcohol, but as the woman in reception told me – there’s a pub a couple of doors up the road, and they will be happy to sell you drinks. This proved to be true. With a six-pack from the pub and Singapore Noodles 82

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from the restaurant, the little table outside my room proved to be as good as any restaurant I recall patronizing in north-western NSW. Better, maybe. No offence.

Sometimes it just all works out.

But as Billy Joel points out in ‘Somewhere Along the Line’, “It’s just a matter of time”. Day Three dawned, or perhaps failed to dawn.

Outside my window, “Lightsome, gladsome elves / On dripping spout and window-sill / Kept talking to themselves,” as Father Hartigan has it.

The gladsome elves drifted down upon my bike, all right, and on me too. I rode home getting more and more wetsome and rather less gladsome as the various seams of my aged rain suit let go, but it was no big deal. I knew that there was a dry garage waiting at the end of my ride, and even a rainy day can’t obliterate that assurance.

All three of the Highway Patrol cars I encountered on the way home were annoying other road users, so I made

I really, truly, generally and specifically hate to say this but I am wondering if I made the right decision buying my F 750 GS. When I picked up the XR at Macarthur BMW I was somewhat concerned about its ability to take me a thousand miles without causing additional harm to my already overstressed corpus. I have ridden ‘sports tourers’ and returned with knotted muscles that took the fine girls at the local Thai massage parlour more than a single session to eliminate. This time, no problemo.

The riding position and even the seat of the XR are good enough to keep me human after those thousand miles.

I used a Wild Ass inflatable seat cushion for the first day, but after riding without it on the second day, decided not to put it back on.

The seat is fine without extra cushioning, something that is quite rare with sports tourers. Well, actually it’s unknown in my experience.

The riding position is not quite as good as on the F 750 GS. Where the latter bike puts me in a comfortable upright pose, the XR had me slouching a little. A bewildering range of seats is available, ranging in height from 775 to 870mm.

it at a reasonable hour. Mrs Bear appeared satisfied that I had returned in one piece. All was well, and I know to check motels more carefully next time. We live in a wonderful country, even if not all of our motels have swimming pools. Go out and enjoy it and drop us a line if you work out which of the car door tours in Lightning Ridge is the best.

As for Wee Waa, enjoy what’s there.

We are moving into a substantially different age and who knows what it will bring?

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For me, comfort and the ability to do long days are the important things about this bike. For you, okay: the XR goes well, even though the switch-like power access that the bigger BMWs offer is not there unless you keep the revs up. I still found that I could pass trucks with decent safety margins where I would have been more cautious on another brand. With 73kW at 8500rpm and 88Nm torque at 6750 rpm from the 895cc twin, it goes quite nicely, especially if you’re more aggressive than I am. I like to run these engines at about 4000rpm, based on my GS, but where the GS is quite good the XR definitely isn’t.You need to get well above 6000rpm before it kicks in, although when it does, it really does. The engine is supposed to be fine with 91 octane, but I ran it on 95. We do that with all our bikes, so long as we can.

Cruise control was welcome on those long, straight stretches. It meant that my right hand and wrist were not overtaxed (after all, you never know when you might need them), and that the speed didn’t creep unobtrusively upward until blue and red lights appeared in the mirror.

The bike is happiest above 6000rpm, but the police force is distinctly not. I noticed the quickshifter but didn’t use it much.

I don’t see the point in changing my reflexes for just one bike.

The TFT screen reminded me of the boy who was supposed to review a book about Antarctic animals. He wrote, “This book tells me more about penguins than I care to know.” LIkewise, the screen offers more information than I really want.

The distance to empty seems somewhat erratic, too, and I do not like the large brown rectangle that reminds the rider

SELECT EDGE MOTORCYCLE ACCESSORIES

AUTHORISED CORBIN DISTRIBUTOR

to fill up. Without this, the screen is easy to read even in bright sunlight.

I achieved exactly the fuel consumption that BMW claims for the XR, namely 4.2 litres per 100km. That gives a theoretical range of some 370km from the 15.5 litre tank. I would prefer Lock it up, more, but of course Danno! the weight would increase too.

As it is, the bike weighs a reasonable 219kg wet with the same payload again.

I have often ridden European bikes which needed a bit of time to feel ‘right’.

The 900 XR needs no time at all, at least for someone like me who crosses over from another BMW. It’s similar, but better.

Although… I tried the XR on some gravel up in the Pilliga and found that neither I nor the bike liked it. Different tyres would have made a difference, I’m sure, but might have translated to less enjoyable on-road riding.

The F 900 XR comes in at $19,835 ride away. It matches, and improves on, several other motorcycles at that price point. It is a seriously good machine, but the critical question, as always, is: would I buy this bike? Stop twisting my arm around my back. If I had not already bought the GS, yes. D

sales@selectedge.com.au www.selectedge.com.au (03) 9467 7622

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READER‘STRAVEL

y t n e w T

TWO FOR T H

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Life after lockdown

WORDS/PHOTOS NEALE JOLLY

T HE ROAD

F

OR THE POOR SUFFERING Victorians, in lockdown for so long, it was time to escape to the high country of the Victorian Alps once the shackles were broken.

It was our duty to help out our fellow Victorians by boosting the local economy and country towns with a flash visitation along some of the most amazing twisty roads the high country has to offer.

For all of you other States who have been enjoying the freedom and leisure at your convenience (well, at the time of writing, anyway – AMM), it was our turn to have some fun and enjoy a bit of two-wheel action.

The opportunity to fang it on roads you have only dreamt about, all within the speed limits of course!

Even the weather played its part greeting us with perfect conditions the whole time we were away.

After a few calls and text messages later, we organised 22 of us to all meet up at Marysville ready for the days and roads ahead.

The bikes were amazing. You name it, we had it - from Triumph Bonnevilles, a Harley FatBob and Indian Cruisers to BMW GSs and many different sports bikes.

Day One, Melbourne to Mansfield via Marysville and the Reefton Spur which is in perfect motorcycling condition after being resurfaced.

Continuing on we took the road from Lake Eildon to Jamieson, a famous 63km talent tester of the highest order through twists and turns of ‘The Pines’ and ‘Big River’ forests.

Always treat this road with great

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R E A D E R ’ S T R AV E L

respect as some have found this out the hard way. It is very unforgiving and will test all of your riding ability.

For those who have ridden this road you know exactly what I’m talking about. You do not get a chance to look at the scenery, it’s 100% concentration the whole way.

At the end of this roller-coaster a welcome detour and de-brief of the day’s riding at The Jamieson Brewery and Grill.

Meanwhile, those that decided to go bush had a whole different story to tell with the difficulties trying to find a path through to Mansfield. and keeping things upright.

After a good night’s sleep and we were ready to go again early next morning...

The weather greeted us with another blue sky day for clean and fast road conditions. The sun god stayed with us for the whole duration of the trip... “BONUS!” Day 2 included the road from Mansfield via Whitfield to Bright and then up over the top of Mount Hotham and down into Omeo.

A well-earned lunch break at Bright was good timing to cool down, re-group and recharge for the fast and furious road ahead up 86

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over Mount Hotham.

A fantastic blast up over Mount Hotham was a true highlight and the road was hot, dry and fast.

So hot in fact the road was beginning to melt. We all thought we were individually having soft tyre issues but it was the road itself giving up.

They build these roads for extreme winter conditions to repel snow and ice but that does not bode well for the extreme opposite of over 30 degrees.

Riding down from Hotham Heights along the Great Alpine road into Omeo we noticed the amazing beauty of the rich and green countryside that this area is known for at this time of year.

Staying the night at the Omeo pub and enjoying another sumptuous meal, the stories continued on into the evening.

After refuelling first thing in the morning we set off heading north along the Omeo Highway to Mitta Mitta via Anglers Rest and the Blue Duck Inn. This section of road produced some of the highest concentration of twisty corners of the whole weekend. An absolute highlight in anybody’s book. For any sportsbike lover this was motorcycling paradise.

A well-earned rest at Mitta Mitta,

a re-group and head count, made sure everyone got through okay and no one came to grief.

Onwards towards Tallangatta we pass the famous and mysterious Tallandoon Tree, said to bring good luck if you stand in its shadow and make a wish. The old gold miners of the area were known to have been well rewarded for practising this method.

The beautiful village of Bright was our destination for night number 3 with the town buzzing with excitement and people enjoying a weekend away free from lockdown. So much to talk about after another epic day on the roads. Everyone telling their own experiences on the bike and how much we all enjoyed the high country roads.

The next morning was up much later, many of us finding different places for breakfast, then fuelling up the machines before making our own way home. The weather was coming in as forecast with changing conditions, so we could not have timed it any better.

What a great way to spend some quality time with a great bunch of guys all doing something we all love.

Did the wives and girlfriends miss us? Let’s hope so.

Until next time. D

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F A L L C O L OU R S T O UR Book your spot.

Now!

FALL COLOURS TOUR PARADISE M

OTORCYC LETOURS INFO@PA .CO.NZ RADISEM OTORCYC LE TOURS.C O.NZ PH: +64 2 74 765 03 5

SOUTH ISLAND, NEW ZEALAND APRIL 2021 W

E’RE ALL DESPERATE TO ride, and there is no better place than the South Island of New Zealand. It seems a little less likely – though it’s still not impossible! -- day by day whether our Rider’s Tour will go ahead, which is a real shame as it would have been one of the best to be a part of. However, the genius folk at Paradise Motorcycle Tours have created an alternative...

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FA L L C O L O U R S T O U R With the amazing colours of the Autumn trees, and a dusting of snow on the mountains it’s a magical time to tour the South Island.

To book your spot you must hurry and contact Paradise Motorcycle Tours at paradisemotor cycletours.co.nz, email info@ paradisemotorcycletours.co.nz or phone +64 274 765 035.

Overview

Arrive 3 April 2021 Saturday Christchurch Tour starts 4 April Sunday Tour ends 17 April Saturday Christchurch Depart 18 April Sunday 14 riding days Unlimited Kms Reduced excess from NZ$3000 to NZ$750 at no charge BMW trained Kiwi tour-guide lead rider Tour-guide, support vehicle and luggage trailer 15 nights excellent accommodation 15 breakfasts Welcome drinks Tour celebration Farewell Dinner Milford Sound Cruise

Day 1 Arrive Christchurch

Meet your bike at 17:00. Welcome

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drinks at 18:30. Meet your Paradise tour guides and Stuart from AMM.

Day 2 Christchurch to Blenheim 310km

We leave after breakfast heading North riding through rural land until we get to the Pacific Coast. After stopping in Kaikoura we continue alongside the mountains and beside the sea until we get to the Store, where the road heads inland. Great riding all day, sweeping bends, twisty climbs through the mountains, beautiful views.

Overnight in Blenheim.

Day 3 Blenheim to Nelson 170 kms

We’ll start the day at the Omaka Aviation Heritage Centre with its WW1 display designed by Peter Jackson (optional activity, extra charge) and then ride to Picton.

Ride along Queen Charlotte Drive to Nelson, another spectacular road, with beautiful views along most of the 25-mile route into Havelock.

The ride climbs and rounds the headland overlooking Picton, the terminus for all freight and passenger traffic to-and-from Wellington, then over a low saddle between Charlotte

Sound and Pelorus Sound, two of the four waterways that collectively make up the Marlborough Sounds. The road runs alongside several peaceful bays.

Pass through Havelock, the home of ‘Green Lipped Mussels’ which are exported throughout the world. The mussel beds are clearly visible in the sounds. The route from Havelock is hilly and winding, with great roads and passes through miles of pine forests, planted for their timber. The fresh smell of pine forest is wonderful.

The land flattens out as you approach Nelson, the biggest fishing port in New Zealand and the second largest city in the South Island, an attractive cosmopolitan city with upmarket shopping and restaurants and its own ‘Mediterranean’ microclimate.

Nelson’s diverse geography encapsulates everything from the long golden beaches to untouched forests and rugged mountains.

Overnight in Nelson.

Day 4 Nelson to Hanmer Springs 352 kms Leave Nelson, heading south. Your onward journey takes you through Murchison. The most outstanding feature on this stretch of road is the Maruia Falls.

The road then follows the Buller

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through undulating country with high bush clad mountains not far away on either side.

The small settlement at Springs Junction is next on your route, predominantly a service centre for travellers where you can buy petrol or a cup of tea.

The road climbs steadily to the summit of the Lewis Pass at 865m.

The Lewis Pass is a fabulous scenic ride and an old Maori greenstone trail. This is alpine riding at its best successions of sweeping corners and undulations set amidst world-class mountain scenery, following the route of the Maruia River.

At the top of the Lewis Pass is the St James Walkway.

The road then follows the Hope River to the Waiau River through an expanse of farmland, straight, open roads with wide bends and superb views.

Turn left to Hanmer Springs and keep an eye out for bungee jumpers on Ferry Bridge as you cross the bridge across the Waiau Gorge.

Hanmer Springs is an Alpine Resort with famous Hot Springs.

Overnight in Hamner Springs.

Day 5 Rest, ride or explore Hanmer Springs

If adventure is what you are after, look

no further than the wild beauty of Hanmer; it is a haven for forest hiking, mountain biking, horse trekking, bungee jumping, jet boating, and the Hot Springs. Your guides can give you some great road and easy gravel track routes.

Day 6 Hanmer Springs to Hokitika 350 kms

Another chance to ride the Lewis pass, then through the lower Buller Gorge to the beautiful west coast.

You leave Hanmer Springs, the road follows the Waiau river through an open expanse of farmland – the road is open and with wide bends and superb open views – very different from yesterdays views, the road then follows the Lewis river through beech forests.

Ride through the beautiful Victoria Forest Park – miles of New Zealand Beech trees rise up either side of the road. Stop at Reefton, ‘The Town of Light’ which owes its origins to the discovery of rich quartz gold reefs in the 1800’s. In August 1888, at the height of the gold rush, Reefton turned on electric street lighting before any other town in the Southern Hemisphere. Gold is part of the town’s culture as well as its past,

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FA L L C O L O U R S T O U R after re-opening one of its Gold Mines in 2006. Carry on through Larrys Creek on the Inanganhua River, a great place for trout fishing.

Carry on through the spectacular Lower Buller Gorge, where the road clings to the edge of the river next to the vertical stone cliffs.

On to the dramatic and rugged scenery of the ‘coast road’. Winding its way between the bush clad slopes, studded with Nikau Palms and the surf of the Tasman Sea this has to be one of New Zealand’s most beautiful rides.

You will pass through Punakaiki where you will find the intriguing Pancake Rocks and blowholes.

The pancake rocks began forming 30 million years ago when limestone was overlaid with softer mudstone in a succession of layers. Over years, the elements have eroded the rock, leaving a pancake effect. When the sea is rough, the sound of the blowholes can be heard for miles. It is best to visit the blow holes at high tide.

Arrive at Hokitika. First settled in 1860, it was an important river port where many ships met their demise on the notorious ‘Hokitika Bar’ – a sandbar that shifts with every tide. The centre of the West Coast Gold Rush in the 1860s it was at that time the most populous settlement in NZ with a population of 25,000 and over 100 pubs. There are some lovely old buildings on the town’s historic walk, and you will notice several galleries specialising in pounamu (greenstone) jewellery and art works. You’ll have time to explore the town in the morning.

Overnight in Hokitika.

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Day 7 Hokitika to Franz Josef 135 kms It is the ‘Ice Run’ today! Ride along the West Coast with views across the Tasman Sea. The scenery changes as you approach Glacier country to native rainforest, green and lush. Travel through Ruatapu and on to the gold town of Ross.

Then it is onto arguably the West Coast’s most picturesque lake, Lake Ianthe, where you can get up close and personal with the local birdlife by taking a natural history cruise with Tamati Nature Tours out onto the forest-lined lake in a Kauri launch.

Continuing along the Hari Hari highway, you cross the Wanganui River and ride through the town of Hari Hari, once a logging settlement but today a popular location for bush walking, bird watching, trout and salmon fishing. Along the main highway, you will find tearooms, a dairy and craft shops.

Ride past two of Westland’s lakes Lake Wahapo, a haven for fishing and home to thousands of native birds, and Lake Mapourika, a kettle lake formed when a large block of ice was left behind by the retreating Franz Josef Glacier some 14,000 years ago.

Your destination today is Franz Josef Glacier; nowhere else in the world at this latitude have glaciers advanced so close to the coast. The glacier is currently 12km long and terminates 19km from the Tasman Sea. The area surrounding the two glaciers (Franz Josef and Fox Glaciers)

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is part of Te Wahipounamu, a World Heritage Site park.

The Māori name for the glacier is Ka Roimata o Hinehukatere (‘The tears of Hinehukatere’), arising from a local legend: Hinehukatere loved climbing in the mountains and persuaded her lover, Wawe, to climb with her. Wawe was a less experienced climber than Hinehukatere but loved to accompany her until an avalanche swept Wawe from the peaks to his death. Hinehukatere was broken hearted and her many, many tears flowed down the mountain and froze to form the glacier.

Julius Haast was the first European visitor to describe the glaciers in 1864.

He named the northern glacier Franz Josef, after the Emperor of Austria.

The southern glacier was named after Premier William Fox, who visited the area in 1872.

For those that have booked helicopter flights onto the Glacier this afternoon is your first chance. It’s always weather dependent, mountains attract clouds, you will have another chance on the other side of Mount Cook.

ranges. It is home to the ultimate adventure bucket list, including skiing in winter, bungee jumping, sky diving, canyon swinging, jet boating, horse trekking, and river rafting year-round.

There are so many activities and adventures to choose from around Queenstown – you will have plenty of time on your leisure day to get out and about. There are some great rides from Queenstown and your guides will give you all the information you need to enjoy them.

Day 10 Queenstown to Milford Sound 288 kms Your ride today takes you around the spectacular Lake Wakatipu to the untouched area of Fiordlands.

At the southernmost end of Lake Wakatipu is the pretty township of Kingston.On to Te Anau and Fiordland.

Nestled on the edge of Lake Te Anau, the largest lake in the South

Day 8 Franz Josef to Queenstown 360 kms

A very picturesque ride to the adventure seekers paradise, with some very serious twisties for those that want to get some lean angle.

Day 9 Enjoy Queenstown

Queenstown sits on the shores of the crystal-clear Lake Wakatipu, set amongst the dramatic alpine

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FA L L C O L O U R S T O U R

Island and second only within New Zealand to Lake Taupo, the picturesque town of Te Anau is the main base for the glacier carved wilderness of the Fiordland National Park.

Today’s ride takes you to the most famous natural attraction in New Zealand.

Fill up with fuel in Te Anau – there is no fuel in Milford!

The road hugs the shoreline of Lake Te Anau for about 29km until it reaches Te Anau Downs. From Te Anau Downs, the road veers right and enters the Eglinton Valley.

The road then runs parallel to the right side of the Eglinton River for 33km while it passes through Knobs Flat.At Cascade Creek, the road emerges onto the shorelines of Lake Gunn and Lake Fergus.

Stop at the Mirror lakes – on a calm day the mountains reflect in the black water.The road then passes through a saddle and emerges at the upper section of the Hollyford Valley. Stop at the lookout point for amazing views.

After Hollyford, the road veers to the west and rises steadily along the valley to its highest point at the Homer 94

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Tunnel. At 1,270 metres long, it is the second-longest road tunnel in New Zealand. The tunnel, carved out by hand through the mountains, is a oneway road, and you may have to wait up to 15 minutes for the lights to change.

Sunglasses off in the tunnel, there are no lights.

The road emerges at the head of the Cleddau Valley and the last 16km descend along the valley to Milford Sound. Keep an eye out for the cheeky, very intelligent Kea Alpine parrots – they have a taste for rubber and plastic, so don’t encourage them anywhere near your bike!

Overnight in Milford Sound.

Day 11 Milford Sound to Te Anau 110 Km

We’ll start the day with a cruise on Milford Sound.

Milford Sound is justifiably the most famous visitor destination in New Zealand. Visitors are drawn by the spectacular sights of waterfalls cascading from sheer rock faces rising 1,200 metres or more from the sea, lush rain forests clinging precariously

to the cliffs, and the seals, penguins and dolphins that frequent the waters.

With 182 days of rain every year, Milford Sound is one of the wettest places in New Zealand however the rain creates stunning treats for visitors with dozens of temporary waterfalls created both at Milford Sound and along the Milford Road.

Maori are believed to have discovered Milford Sound more than 1,000 years ago, returning seasonally to the fiord to collect the much-prized pounamu. These treks from the east used traditional pathways across passes such as MacKinnon Pass on the Milford Track. The Maori named the sound Piopiotahi after the thrush-like piopio bird, now extinct.

In 1812 John Grono was the first European settler to land in the sound.

He named Milford Sound after Milford Haven in Wales, while the Cleddau River which flows into the sound is also named for a Welsh stream.

Overnight in Te Anau.

Day 12 Te Anau to Invercargill

A relatively short but great ride through the Southern Scenic Routs to Invercargill today. Quiet roads with very little traffic in this mostly unpopulated area.

Great scenery as we ride alongside the sea, not much in between us and Antarctica here.

We have lots to see and explore

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in Invercargill. All the Burt Munro bikes, gear and memorabilia, plus the most wonderful motorcycle museum, the beach that Burt used to race on, the list goes on.

Overnight in Invercargill.

Day 13 Invercargill to Mount Cook Village

is next, in the heart of a prosperous farming area with sheep, cattle, deer, dairy cows, cropping and fruit growing in abundance.

Almost 3,000 people live in the township and surrounding areas.

You are now on the scenic route to Christchurch travelling via Route 72. This rural main road follows the western boundary of the Canterbury Plains and takes you through a succession of country towns, including Staveley.

Ride through the lush farmland of the Canterbury Plains through Mount Hutt, the main skiing area for residents of Christchurch.

We head north through the magical landscape of Central Otago today, back towards the mountains and lakes. Through the moonscape that surrounds Alexandra, and on to Cromwell and the fruit bowl of New Zealand. Then we ride the Lindis Pass and into Makenzie Country. So blue lakes and Mount Cook await.

Overnight in Mount Cook.

Group A F750 GS, F800GS, F850GS Day 14 Group B R1200GS, R1250GS Mount Cook Group C K1600GT, R1200RT, R1250RT

The nitty gritty

Village to Christchurch

Ride towards Lake Tekapo and the Mackenzie ranges heading towards Burke’s Pass; separating the Two Thumbs and Rollesby Ranges, Burkes Pass permits easy entry to the high tussock lands of the Mackenzie District.

Pass through Fairlie.

The town of Geraldine

Per person prices for the tour are in NZ$ BIKE CLASS

SINGLE RIDER OWN ROOM

COUPLE TOTAL PRICE

GROUP A

14,000

15,925

GROUP B

15,500

17,500

GROUP C

15,800

18,200

Like a patchwork quilt made with every shade of green, the Canterbury Plains lie between the mountains and the sea, formed from the alluvial shingle fans of several large rivers the Waimakariri, Raikaia, Selwyn and Rangitata. The area produces more than 80% of New Zealand’s grains, crops and seeds.

Arrive at Christchurch, the most English of our cities, built on the banks of the Avon River and sadly damaged by earthquakes.

An eclectic mix of historic elegance and contemporary culture, Christchurch is known as the gateway to the South Island.

Described by Lonely Planet as a “vibrant city in transition, coping resiliently and creatively,” Christchurch’s energy is evident wherever you go. The city has bounced back after the Canterbury Earthquakes of 2010 and 2011 with innovative new 2 RIDERS, attractions, as well 2 BIKES, SHARE as some old favourites.

ROOM Upon arrival in Christchurch, please return 11,200 your bikes to our base at Unit 5, 365 Wilsons Road, Waltham, Christchurch.

12,600 Overnight in Christchurch, Tour Celebration 13,300 Dinner tonight. D www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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READER‘STRAVEL

TOP GEAR DON’T FOLLOW THEM – DO IT YOURSELF! WORDS PAUL CHURCH PHOTOS PAUL CHURCH, JOHN BRISTOW, JON STOUT AND PHILL EGGLESTON

W

E RECENTLY HAD THE amazing folk at Motorrad Tours tell us about Vietnam as part of our Awesome Destinations series.

Well, reader, Paul Church beat the virus and rode there in early 2020; here’s what he thought…

AMM

DAY 1 Perth to Singapore to Saigon (HCMC)

Well, it was February 9th 2020, 96

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which was just before Covid 19 took hold and put a stop to travel and changed the world as we know it. Four Western Australians, myself, John Bristow, Jon Stout and Phill Eggleston met up at Perth International Airport to board a Singapore Airlines plane to eventually land in Saigon, or Ho Chi Minh City as it is also known. The hardest part of the journey was on arrival, we had to queue for quite some time to have our visas inserted into our passports and pay the US$100 fee on top of

what we had already paid back in Australia for a visa application form.

This was the start of our adventure, riding motorcycles with Vietnam Motorbike Tours (VMT) from Hoi An up to Hanoi. The tour was the “Top Gear 2 Tour”, as it followed what Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond did on their Top Gear TV program, with some extras thrown in. The first day was to get to our hotel, settle in and then do a bit of exploring around this bustling city of around nine million inhabitants.

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DAY 2 Saigon The second day was partly taken up by having to obtain a Vietnamese Driving Licence, as our Australian ones, with or without an International Driving Permit, are not recognised for some reason. This meant we had to obtain a visa valid for 3 months, even though we were only going to be in the country for 18 days, as the Vietnamese Government will not issue a driving licence with

a monthly visitor’s visa. For our travel insurance to be valid, we needed to have a licence that was valid in that country and it was also a requirement of VMT to have the insurance cover.

While at the licencing office we were also lucky enough to meet up with one of the motorcycling greats, Dakar Champion Toby Price, who was also there with the same predicament.

He was doing another tour with VMT, but his was through Vietnam and into Laos.

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while, we visited the Vietnam War Museum. The Vietnamese people call it the American War as they have always called their wars after the main antagonists. Although the museum is most interesting, it is also very confronting in parts. It does, however, make you realise the futility of war.

I remember my mother saying “War is man’s inhumanity to man”.

From here we did more sightseeing, including the Independence Palace which is also known as the Reunification Palace, and various famous Saigon buildings including Notre Dame Cathedral and the Central Post Office.

DAY 3 Saigon to Da Nang to Hoi An

The morning was spent doing a bit more sightseeing, before we were picked up and driven to the domestic airport, ready for our flight on Vietnam Airlines to Da Nang.

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On arrival at Da Nang, we were picked up along with five other people who were joining us, by tour leader Ha Ngoc Quoc Bao, who is known by the name Bao, for ease. We were then driven to Hoi An, which was to be our starting point the next day for the motorbike tour. Luckily our hotel was right opposite the VMT premises, so we were able to have a look at the bikes we were to use.

The bikes were Lifan 150cc machines with strange rotary gearboxes. The gear levers were heel and toe arrangement, where all gears are down shift on the toe part. Neutral through to the top gear of fifth, but don’t go one more again as you find neutral and definitely don’t go again, as it would be first gear once more.

This would have dire consequences on the gearbox and/or motor.

Bao organised a meeting in the hotel foyer in the early evening, where we met up with all the other riders on the same tour. There were

18 riders and three pillions. Two of the other riders were also from Western Australia, Stephen Hill and Jamie Mitchell, one from Queensland, a couple of Americans and the remainder were English.

We received our VMT Tee Shirts, VMT Bag, VMT Drink Bottle and a Neck Sock each and Bao ran through the “Dos and Don’ts”, before we headed to the bar for a quick thirst quencher. Unfortunately, a lot of the hotels in Vietnam serve their beer a lot warmer than Australians are used to and they want to put ice in it for you, but we were a bit wary of this. Then we had a walk around town before hitting the sack to be rested up for the exciting day tomorrow.

DAY 4 Hoi An to Hue 130km

Day one of the tour proper and we wandered across to the VMT premises to choose our bikes, as they were to be ours for the next 10 days. A

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practice run up and down Hoi An to get used to the riding position and the gearboxes on these Chinese machines. Actually, after getting used to the gearboxes, the bikes acquitted themselves very well and were more than adequate for the trip that lay ahead.

So, when everybody was ready, we set off and rode back to Da Nang and rode Top Gear’s famed Hai Van Pass. A twisty mountain road along the coast took us to Hue, which used to be the Imperial Capital and home of the last Vietnamese Emperors. After the bikes were parked up for the night, the guys in the backup van and truck had some icy cold beers ready for us in the big “Esky” in the back of the van. Very welcome they were to.

DAY 5 Hue to Khe Sanh 170km

Leaving Hue after breakfast, we joined up with the Ho Chi Minh Trail, alongside the Da Krong River. Lots

of bends with fantastic views. Onto Khe Sanh and it’s hard not to start singing the Cold Chisel song inside your helmet. We went to the museum after the ride and looked at maps, weapons and various war machines, a C130 Hercules, Chinook helicopters and jet wreckages. A reminder once more of the futility of war.

DAY 6 Khe Sanh to Phong Nha 270km

This ride along the Western Ho Chi Minh Trail is regarded as one of the best motorcycling roads on Earth. The road is through the UNESCO World Heritage site of Ke Bang National Park. Arriving in Phong Nha, our home for two nights, we found that the hotel overlooks the Son Con River.

Many of the riders took the opportunity here to have their laundry done for them, as this is one of the few stops we would get enough time to allow this. The hotel organised all this and I might add for a small amount of money. (many Vietnamese “Dong”, but not too much in Australian Dollars when converted).

Then we went exploring this pleasant little town, which had many restaurants and bars to choose from.

DAY 7 Phong Nha 40km

A lazy start to the day with a leisurely breakfast. We then boarded boats for a trip up river to the Phong Nha Caves which have been voted as one of the most wonderful cave systems in the world. They are truly amazing and a www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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“must do” if you are ever in this area.

In the afternoon after arriving back for a lunch at the hotel, we then went for a little ride around to see the local sights and magnificent views.

In the evening, a number of us were lucky enough to find a marvellous restaurant which was owned and run by a Frenchman who had perfect English. Apparently, he had spent some time in Australia, so we had plenty to talk to him about. His food was exceptionally good and everybody agreed it had been a great night.

DAY 8 Phong Nha to Tan Ky 270km

Riding north out of Phong Nha we re-joined the Ho Chi Minh Trail and we were treated once again to some spectacular views. One strip of road was so wide, but then we

realised it had once been a runway during the war.

Arriving in Tan Ky at approximately 4.30 pm, the guides opened the “Esky” for a well-deserved cold beer after a longish day in the saddle and a ride that had contained many bends, especially in the latter part of the day.

DAY 9 Tan Ky to Quan Son 240km

Today we headed north west on small mountain roads, which run up close to the Laos border. Many small hamlets with mountain backdrops.

This day was magnificent and you have to marvel at the local population’s ingenuity at being able to make water wheels out of bamboo, to feed water into the rice terraces. These water wheels are also dismantled each year when the heavy rains begin, to avoid

any damage to them as the waters rise in the rivers. This part of the tour is well away from the normal tourist roads and areas, so you really get to see how the Vietnamese people live their everyday lives. Then it was on to the overnight stop in Quan Son.

DAY 10 Quan Son to Mai Chau 110km

Started with riding over a series of mountain passes, through valleys and past limestone peaks; this part of the country is quite remote. This was only a shortish day in kilometres, but it was to be one of the most memorable.

We stopped at a bamboo factory and our brilliant tour leader, Bao, arranged for us to do a tour of the factory. The bamboo is chopped to length, fed through a splitter machine that cuts them into the first stage of becoming chopsticks. Smaller bits are made into toothpicks. Nothing is wasted, as the remnants are pulped and pressed into rolls of wood pulp paper. All these products are refined and finished in other factories, but it was fascinating to see.

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provided engine and transmission, the R 50 donated the frame and running gear) turned out to be useful but never really ideal; for a start the Ural sidecar was too heavy. I didn’t build the perfect outfit until I matched a Yamaha Bolt to a replica Steib chair. Still, the Beemer outfit covered a lot of miles and was a lot of fun. I don’t seem to be able to find any photos, so you’ll have to settle for one of the Bolt.

RALPH - KTM SUPERDUKE / BMW R 1200 GS Split Decision

I owned both in the late 2000s and these bikes meant different things for

After spending some time here, we Vietnamese and we all, including the carried on to our home for the night staff, had to down each glass in one. in Mai Chau, which was at a Home We were then entertained by the Stay. What an experience this was, staff and locals from the neighbouring with dormitory sleeping arrangements, villages to a night of theatre, dancing mattresses on the floor and mosquito and singing, with the majority of us nets, just in case. joining in at someBoth stage.

One of the me and my riding. bikes I bought It also happened to be one of Western Australian boys, Stephen without test riding, and placed an order the English riders’ birthday, so at Hill,totreated us all toina Australia. magnificent prior their arriving It’s dinner, beers and bottles of red wine proof rendition of Khe Sanh. night!! that marketing hype What works!a Both were put onto the tables, that we all represented freedom in every sense -DAY 11 clubbed together to buy. The staff performance or to travel, wheelstanding or Mai Chau Son La 250km were brilliant and kept coming around chugging through the countryside. Both In the morning, everybody including each table with rice wine and it was were instrumental in consolidating their the “Birthday Boy” and the staff, always a case of them toasting us in

brands in their respective markets.

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seemed to be okay, with no ill effects from the previous night’s activities.

Back on the bikes, we headed higher into the north west mountains.

Vegetation changed to acres of tea plantations and some latex tree plantations, with their collection cups attached to the trunks. The landscape became more barren and it seemed to be more –isolated.

STUART BMW R 1200 GS In fact, this partMagic of Vietnam was Water-Cooled semi-autonomous until late in the 20thitCentury.

In order avoid ethnic Let be known, BMWtohave pretty tensions, the Democratic Republic much always held amazing new bike of Vietnam designated its north

The 2010s

launches and the introduction of the

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R E A D E R ’ S T R AV E L western provinces of Lai Chau, Son La and Nghia Lo as the “Tai-Meo Autonomous Region” , modelled on the national autonomies of communist China. It was renamed the “Northwest Autonomous Region” in 1961, in order to not highlight just two of the many ethnic groups in this zone.

Autonomy was rescinded after the Vietnamese reunification of 1975.

We arrived at our overnight stay in Son La in the late afternoon.

DAY 12 Son La to Nghia Lo 240km Now we turned back to ride easterly over the Hoang Lien Son Range, which are Vietnam’s highest mountains. Very few tourists get to experience this part of the country, so we felt privileged to be able to do it with VMT. Then it was a descent into Nghia Lo with its views over rice terraces and its vivid green colours.

DAY 13 Nghia Lo to Hanoi 200km

Sadly, our last day of the VMT Tour part of our time in Vietnam, but with great roads down into Red River Valley. Our journey took us through fields that were all cropped and old towns on our way to the hustle and bustle of the Vietnamese Capital,

Hanoi, which has a population of just over 8 million.

If you’ve ever ridden through the streets of Hanoi, or even just visited, you will know how stressful that was for all the visiting riders, as the traffic can only be described as maniacal.

We were instructed by Bao, prior to riding into Hanoi, that if we lost sight of the group to just pull over and stop and they would find us eventually.

Do not, in any event, turn off, as you could be lost, probably forever!

Anyway, the last 10 kilometres were tense to say the least, but we all managed to end up at the truck depot, that would look after freighting the bikes back to Hoi An for the next tour.

(Unfortunately, at this time of writing, all VMT tours have been suspended due to the Covid 19 virus).

Then we all breathed a sigh of relief at surviving the ride through the streets of Hanoi, along with the sad realisation that this part of our trip was virtually over. It was then onto two buses to take us to the Silk Queen Hotel, as this night’s stay was included in the VMT package.

On arrival at the hotel, we said farewell to Bao, who was flying out later that night to catch up with his family back in Da Nang. Bao and the rest of his guides, mechanic and

drivers of the back-up vehicles had been wonderful. Nothing was ever too much trouble for them and it was always done with a smile.

DAY 14 Hanoi

John Bristow, Phill Eggleston and I were staying on for a few extra days, but Jon Stout had to fly out this day, as he had business in Singapore to attend to. After breakfast the three of us arranged a transfer to the sister hotel of the hotel we stayed in overnight, The Silk Queen Grand Hotel. A bit of confusion on our part, as we thought we had booked the same hotel. Anyway, it was only a short distance away, but we organised a taxi, as it was easier with the luggage we had.

It was then a day exploring Hanoi.

A pleasant walk around Hoan Kiem Lake, as well as finding different streets. It seems the way it is in Hanoi, is that each street specialises in manufacturing or retailing a specific thing. One street would be all stainlesssteel items and another would be all things embroidery and material etc.

With it being just the three of us, it was easy to organise our day and buy a few presents for family at home.

In the evening a number of streets

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are all street food, restaurants and bars.

The traffic never seemed to abate and it was still a thriving metropolis late into the evening. To cross the roads, you just step out and look straight ahead, keeping a steady walking pace.

This allows all the traffic, which is predominantly scooters and small motorcycles, to go around you. Sounds ridiculous, but it works and after a while you do it without hesitation.

DAY 15 Hanoi to Halong Bay

Breakfast, a brisk walk around, then back to the hotel to be picked up just after 9.00am for the bus ride to Halong Bay, which we had added onto the end of trip, as we were so close.

The bus took just over two hours

to get there, with a “comfort stop” at about half distance.

On arrival at Halong Bay, we had our temperatures taken, to make sure we were not infected by the dreaded Covid 19 virus. We were then ferried out by the La Paci Cruises tender to board the larger boat that would be our home for a little while.

The cabin we got was very plush with three large single beds, complete with a large ensuite, balcony and a view out onto the bow deck. We were treated to a marvellous lunch like something out of Master Chef.

Then it was into the tender and we were taken to an area to try kayaking for those that wanted to. After about 90 minutes, it was back on board the tender and once it cleared the kayaking

area it anchored in a remote spot for people to go for a swim. They were even allowed to jump or dive off the roof of the tender.

Arriving back at the mother ship, it was time to freshen up and sit back in the bar area with a nice cold beer and watch the world go by in the most majestic scenery you could ever imagine. There were a number of other boats doing the same thing, but most seemed very sparsely occupied, which we put down to avoidance or cancellations due to the virus.

During this time, we were also given lessons in how to make the famous Vietnamese spring rolls. We were then allowed to make our own, which were then deep fried, so we could taste the results of our efforts.

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Dinner was served around 7pm and again it was sumptuous, with soup, entrée, fish course, main and then a sweet. Coffee or beverages were available at reasonable prices from the restaurant bar.

After dinner, some passengers tried their hand at squid fishing from the stern deck. Without much luck, I might add.

A very nice and adventurous day.

DAY 16 Halong Bay to Hanoi

It was an early start today with another gourmet breakfast, as we were going to explore some caves and had to be ready to set off by 7am. Again, the tender took us to a large floating pontoon area, where we disembarked and boarded smaller boats which each held 6 passengers and an oarsperson (if that is a word, as there were as many female rowers as there were males). We were all transported quite a way to the caves and then we were actually taken through the caves, where there is very little headroom especially for the person rowing at the rear of the boats.

On the return leg we were also serenaded with some Vietnamese songs, with other boats joining in the fun. Back at the pontoon, we boarded the tender and were ferried back to the boat for a brunch at around 11.00 am.

It was called brunch, but again there were four courses of fantastic food.

Then it was time to pack our bags for the trip back to the mainland and the bus trip back to our hotel in Hanoi. Arriving back late afternoon, we did some more exploring around

Hanoi and spent a pleasant evening around the old quarter.

Dinner was in a street corner restaurant, so we could sit back and watch the hustle and bustle on two streets.

DAY 17 Hanoi

Today was a leisurely day. Sightseeing and sitting having a coffee, while people watching. You do get hassled by a few street vendors, shoe polishers and shoe menders, but I guess everybody is trying to make a living. Again, we had a walk around the markets and streets.

It’s amazing how far you can walk during a day in a city. Then towards the evening, we had to pack our cases and hand luggage ready for our trip back to our homes the next day.

DAY 18 Hanoi to Singapore to Perth

Our last day in Hanoi, so it was a leisurely breakfast, followed by a walk and a coffee mid-morning.

Then back to our hotel to do the check out and wait in the lobby for the taxi which took us to the airport.

The airport was some distance from our hotel, but it was good to sit back and watch, as we were driven through suburbs, we didn’t get a chance to visit.

Arriving at the airport it was amazingly deserted, as not many people were travelling due to Covid 19. As it got nearer the boarding time of our Singapore Airlines flight, a few more passengers arrived, but the plane was only about half full.

On arrival in Singapore, we were just ushered straight to our gate for the flight back to Perth, which luckily was the next gate to the one we had just disembarked through. While in the queue, we were just asked if we had been to China in the last 30 days and that was it! You got the feeling the Singaporean authorities wanted us to get on the Perth bound plane, then we would be somebody else’s problem.

Again, the plane was only half full.

All went well and we landed in Perth very early the day after we set off from Hanoi. It was a breeze collecting our cases and getting through customs.

In fact, we were standing outside the terminal waiting for our wives to collect us at the time we should have been landing, as we were early into Perth.

All in all, a wonderful, memorable trip that will live in the memory bank for a long while, if not our lifetimes. D

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WHATSAYYOU?

W

E LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU, the letters are among the most keenly read parts of the magazine.

Please try and keep letters down to no more than 300 words. Then you can read many, not just a couple.

We do reserve the right to cut them and, unless you identify yourself and at least your town or suburb and state, we will print your email address instead. Please address letters to contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com.au or Australian Motorcyclist Magazine, Suite 4b, Level 1, 11-13 Orion Rd, Lane Cove West NSW 2066.

All opinions published here are those of the writers and we do not vouch for their accuracy or even their sanity.

ONE GREAT, ONE NOT SO GREAT

LETTER OF THE MONTH

C

OLIN WHELAN’S PUB OF the Month articles have always popular with you guys and girls, Peter gets the shirt and backpack from the great folk at Nelson-Rigg this month. Send me your t-shirt size and postal address.

For all your luggage needs check out the entire range at nelsonrigg.com.au SW

THANK YOU, COLIN

Hi Stuart, I just want to throw my support behind Colin and his “Pub of the Month” comments in Issue 95. He nailed it. In a story filled with the tragedy of lives lost to poor mental health, his comments about the thoughtless pandemic response were very poignant.

People in much of remote Australia have been socially distancing their whole lives. To respond based on state lines and say what is appropriate in Coolangatta should apply in Hungerford shows very little leadership or heart.

Thanks Colin for your willingness to express such logic in the face of such unimaginative and damaging regulation and thanks AM for being bold enough to print it.

Keep up the good work.

Peter Hopper, Mackay, QLD Hi Peter, Absolutely, mate!

Cheers, Stuart.

Thanks to Colin for his roundup of bike friendly pubs. Two pubs come to mind. Both are the stop over place for our Club annual overnight rides.

One is great the other is not. The Alpine Inn at Khancoban is a dud and if there was a better place for multiple people to stay we would but the place is falling apart, the food lacklustre or worse, the atmosphere is drab and unexciting, the pool is empty, the rooms are tired. In all not a great place to stay. The petrol station nearby does a better job with food and friendly staff.

The other place is a complete contrast. The Snowline Hotel is a great place with clean, comfortable rooms, a great bar with atmosphere and lots of locals, excellent pub food and friendly staff. Live music some nights, raffles and other activities. We always look forward to going there as they love having motorcyclists stay.

Keep up the good work.

Leigh Campbell Hi Leigh, Thanks for the tips and I will pass this on to Colin. Where is the Snowline?

Cheers, Stuart.

GETTING HOT

Hi Stuart I’m trying to understand how you and your team would be comfortable with an article degrading fellow motorcyclists (Boris Jan 21), particularly those of a mature age, using terms such as “weapons grade arseholes” and more, this stuff belongs in a chopper magazine, this guy gets off by being outspoken,

most of it is probably creative journalism. This magazine has always reached out to a broad range of motorcyclists, but I’m sure many would be turned off by this rubbish. The He-Karens he referred to should be commended for at least being out on their bikes, not cut down because some fool was being an idiot on his! I hope mature age is kind to Boris!

Barry Smith, Ulverstone TAS Hi Barry, You do know Boris writes to get a reaction? He does go off on a tangent like this from time to time. Don’t take it to heart, he is getting old and grumpy.

Cheers, Stuart.

Yes, I understand, I’ve read plenty of his stuff and had a laugh at some, but this may have hit a nerve as I’m 64. Lol. Nice of you to get back to me.

Barry Exactly the reaction he wanted.

Keep cool, mate - hot weather coming!

Cheers, Stuart.

DANGEROUS RIDING?

Boris, “it’s not that I despise authority...I despise...dishonesty and hypocrisy from an authority which does not hold itself to the same accoùnt to which it holds us.”

Me, quietly minding my own business as I cruise my trusty cruiser along the M1 at the Gold Coast. Suddenly passed by a posse of 5 police motorbicyclists.

They are doing about 10kph or so above the speed limit. No lights. No sirens. As my Ambo friend Mark has been booked while driving an ambulance without lights or sirens I thought I might slightly increase my speed and follow the posse at a respectable

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to improve my biceps to improve my biceps improve my biceps Hito Harry, I’m Harry, sure your legs look fine to the ones that Hi Hi Harry, care…your As fiforneyour being a I’m sure your legs look to thebike onesnotthat 400 -family.

500 meters behind.

I’m sure your legs look fi ne to the ones that very good exercise machine, you better get an have care…your family.

As for your bike not being a Anyway tail end Charlie must care…your family.

As for your bike not being adventure bike and do some hillclimbs, that will very good exercise machine, you better get an told the forward scout that some a very goodbike exercise machine, you better get anwill bikie shadowing them. get the bad muscles burning!

- Cheers, Stuart. adventure andwas do some hillclimbs, that bike andscout do- some hillclimbs, forward ducks & that will get adventure the So muscles burning!

Cheers, Stuart. get the muscles burning!

Cheers, Stuart. weaves back thru M1 traffic

Braidwood. Purpose to ride, have a social get together Purpose and havetosome Braidwood. ride,food have whilst a social Braidwood.

Purpose to ride, have a social out.together Now, noand such trips. get have some food whilst get together and have some food whilst I know there out.

Now, no has suchbeen trips.panic in terms of out.

Now, nohas such trips.panic up of products liketoloo Ibuying know there been in terms of is spot on. Who wants bepaper, policed I know there has been panic in terms of tissues, hand sanitizer, pasta, canned buying up of products like loo paper, by idiots like this. Not Boris. Not me. buyingThanks upand ofsanitizer, products like paper, tomatoes other products. panic tissues, hand pasta, canned for your magloo -This ride tissues, hand sanitizer, pasta, canned now. buying hassafe been ridiculous in my tomatoes and other products.

Thisopinion panic tomatoes other products.

This panic Steve Nelson, and created a problem of store supply buying hasand been ridiculous inOxenford, my opinion buyingthere has been ridiculous in my opinion Gold Coast, QLD where no need stockpile and created awas problem of to store supply and created a problem of store supply to1ride in my lane next to me COVID goods there at home. note thattothe news where wasIno need stockpile where there was no need to stockpile HAIL handle bar to handle bar.

Dear Stuart, reports thatALL aI note small supermarket COVID 1 goods atsay home. that the news COVID 1 goods at home.

I note that the news MIHAILOVIC Lifts up helmet ClearlyStuart, there is ahis lothinged of economic group Drake’s has refused to buy back Dear reports say that a small supermarket Dear Stuart, reports say that a small supermarket In response topaper Kenand & justasscreams abuse at me, and it 150 x 32 roll packs downturn a result of COVID19 of toilet Clearly there is a lot of economic group Drake’s has refused to back Clearly there is&ainsanely lot of economic group Drake’sfrom has refused to buy buy back Portland’s letter red faced angry. I’m is further impacting on car sales and I 1 ltr sanitizer.

I am GLAD they downturn as a result of COVID19 and it 150 x 32 roll packs of toilet paper and downturn as crapping a result ofmyself COVID19 of toilet paper and regarding Boris: I am seriously as and it 150 x 32 roll packs would think motorcycle sales (which I refused a refund as the individual is further impacting on car sales and I 150 x 1 ltr sanitizer.

I am GLAD they is further impacting 150 x 1 ltr sanitizer.

I am would GLADhave they sure Boris I had traffi c nowon car sales and I think have been down anyway pre concerned was having about 20 people would think motorcycle sales (which I refused a refund as the individual a better and maybe 1 mtr to would think motorcycle sales (which I refused a refundwritten as the individual Covid19). chase thesewas products and then think have been concerned having about 20 people more entertaining my left, halfdown a anyway think have been down anywaypre pre concerned was having about 20hepeople There is nobody much on the roads in attempted to re-sell on E-Bay. Serve the Covid19). chase these products and then he response mtr between Covid19). chase these products and then he to Ken theThere ACT except those who by necessity bugger right for being a scungy There is nobody much on the roads in attempted to re-sell on E-Bay. Serve the but I,Serve for one, ‘bars & aboutmuch on the roads in is nobody attempted to re-sell on E-Bay. the have to go out for work or food and individual! the ACT except those who by necessity bugger right for being a scungy would cease mtr except from those who by necessity the1ACT bugger right for being a scungy to buy your theto tofor the essentials.

All that said, I think your quoting of have to gocop outout individual! have go forwork workororfood foodand and individual! magazine if centre cement to use the bike for Iessentials. have been managing fiAll gures theIIpeople thatquoting die dailyoffrom All that said, think essentials. thatof said, think your your Boris weren’t barrier. trips within the confi nes of the cancer, heart mozzies Iessential have been managing toto use for people that daily from I have been managing usethe thebike bike for fi figures guresof of the thedisease, peoplediabetes, that die from part of it.Yes Seriously thisthe ACT border but that isthe aconfi big change and murders an unfair comparison! essential trips within nes the heart disease, diabetes, mozzies essential trips within confi nesofoffrom the cancer, cancer, heartis disease, diabetes, He is very was one of the ourACT weekly ride group where we would to date the total numbers of COVID19 ACT border but that is a big change from and murders is an unfair comparison!

Yes border but that is a big change from and murders is an unfair Yes entertaining most dangerous usually ride ride out of the where ACT to, say, deaths Wide wouldofbeCOVID19 exceeded by our weekly group wewe would to the numbers our weekly ride group where would todate dateWorld thetotal total numbers COVID19 ridingorincidents Goulburn Boorowa orACT Yass adeaths week’sWorld worthWide or less perhaps ofand theforby usually ride out ofofthetheACT to,to,or say, deaths would be exceeded by usually ride out say, World Wide would the most I have been in.

Goulburn or BoorowaororYass Yassoror aweek’s week’sworth worthor or less less perhaps of the Goulburn or Boorowa a part, This time Boris

reasons for the daily figures of these deaths, however this fipandemic of COVID reasons for the daily gures of these reasons for the daily fi gures of these 19 is nothowever normal this andpandemic as you would know deaths, of COVID deaths, however of COVID hasisthe potential for totally 19 not normalthis andpandemic as youoverwhelming would know 19 ishospital notpotential normal and as you would know the and medical resources of has the for totally overwhelming I agree with his words and sentiments.all has for totally overwhelming countries.

I am not aware of any cancers the hospital andapplaud medical resources of all I the willpotential always those who the hospital and medical resources of all etc you can catch from shaking someone’s countries.

I am not aware of any cancers have the degree of control that countries.

I am not aware of any cancers allows mates would hand or‘wheelies touching contaminated surfaces. etc you can catchyour from shaking someone’s etc catch from shaking someone’s talkyou about for decades’ and I am So, comparing normal worldwide deaths to hand orcan touching contaminated surfaces. hand or touching contaminated surfaces. stillcomparing giggling about ‘wheelie cops COVID19 deaths isa like tryingthe to compare So, normal worldwide deaths to So, comparing normal worldwide to would shoot you inis the fortodeaths and apples and oranges.

COVID19 deaths like face trying compare COVID19 deaths is like trying to compare then put family in aacross gulag’.as Iapples felt your editorial came andyour oranges. apples andstuff. oranges.

Great dismissive of the seriousness of asCovid19 feltyour youreditorial editorial cameacross across IIRegards, felt came as Rick, Largs Bay, SA and smacked a bit of self-centredness in dismissive of the seriousness Covid19 dismissive of the seriousness ofofCovid19 highlighting the inconvenience it has and smacked a bit of self-centredness and smacked a bit of self-centredness inin WASTED? caused you.photo I like bikes riding too, but highlighting the inconvenience has highlighting the inconvenience it ithas It was the of thatand beautiful many people have had to alter travel plans caused you. on like bikes and riding too, but BMW you.

R18 thebikes front cover oftoo, caused IIlike and riding but etc for the greater good. many people have had to alter travel plans your magazine that $9.95 many people have hadpried to alter travel plans Ifrom think that all thegood. media though etc formy the greater good. arthritic fi ngers,reporting with etc for the greater is worrisome for Australian people as it is I think that all the media reporting though viewthat to perhaps trading the though Iathink all the media reporting repeated and repeated and like the is worrisome for Australian people arthritic ‘92 Electra-Glide isequally worrisome for Australian people asasit itis is for thisresBavarian stunner. bushfi yourepeated do not get alike break repeated and repeated and likethe thefrom it. repeated and and Proceeded to read and enjoy Every time you on T.V,from look bushfi res you doturn notget getathe abreak break fromit.atit. bushfi res you do not the rest of you the mag, until came Facebook, listen to the radio it look islook in your Every time youturn turn on theIT.V, T.V, Every time on the atat to last page.

Why on earth do you face or ears.

Facebook, listen to the radio it is in your Facebook, listen to the radio it is in your Mihailovic to write such drivel, Ipay tryor toears. reduce my listening/reading/ face or ears. face having as it does, little, if to once orlistening/reading/ twice anything a day to keep up tryto toreduce reduce mylistening/reading/ IIwatching try my to do with motorcycles? reason with developments -twice more than that is upup watching onceorortwice aday dayto to keep watching totoonce aThe keep people buy your magazine in the with developments - -more than that is is with developments more than that first place. I remember reading

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107 www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au107107 www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

AMM_88_p98-OBC AMM_88_p98-OBC 107107 AMM#97.indd copy.indd 107copy.indd

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30/4/20 9:37 pmpm 30/4/20 9:37 4/02/2021 11:49:09 PM

W H AT S AY Y O U

a similar piece by him in ‘AMCN’ many years ago. Again it was purely a diatribe against police, with zero content on motorcycles.

I vowed then to never buy that magazine again and never have.

And now sadly ‘Australian Motorcyclist’ will remain on the shelf. You give this man a platform to vent his spleen when he is clearly in the very same category as those deluded ‘patriots’ who made complete fools of themselves in Washington on 6 January. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if he was among them. Get rid of him, he cheapens an otherwise fine publication. You don’t need him!

Chris, Port Stephens, NSW. Hi Chris, Yes, the R 18 First Edition is a stunning machine. I highly recommend you get into a dealer and have a look at it in person. It’s a shame that one page of the magazine spoils the rest of the magazine you enjoyed. We try to cater for a wide range of motorcyclists and Boris seems to be pretty popular.

Yes, he does have his haters, but a bit of controversy is good to have I reckon.

The reason we also put him on the last page is in case readers that don’t fancy his (on purpose) reaction writing ways can ‘rip or cut’ him out.

Cheers, Stuart.

Hi Keith, HNY! What would we do without, ‘technology’. LOL! Thanks, I have got the renewal.

Cheers, Stuart.

HAVE A LIE DOWN

Stuart, ...frequently set the points and occasionally balance carbies, and probably spend too much time wishing someone would invent grip heaters to deal with Canberra winters.

Just because it sometimes (OK, often) confounds me certainly doesn’t mean I’m anti-tekernology.

Consider that my letter of the month entry. What do I win?

Keith

Stuart, Not that he (Boris) needs defending, he appears to be someone who can look after himself. Now I can’t say I agree with everything he writes but I am amazed by the way his mind works and he says the things I would like to say at times. Oh, and if anyone is taking him too seriously (Ken from Portland) then you need to go and have a lie down and ponder the meaning of life and why you ride a motorcycle. I ride so I can do things that push my personal envelope at times...and take full responsibility for my own actions.

Phil, Werribee, VIC

A SET OF STEAK KNIVES Hi Stuart, Renewed my subscription.

No idea what I was doing wrong before, but never mind it’s done.

Regards, Keith Tomlin

You have won a fabulous set of steak knives…but wait, there’s more!

If you send $500 now, you get one set free! That’s two sets of steak knives for the price of one.

LOL!!!

Cheers, Stuart.

Make it 2000 and you’ve got a deal.

Haha!

Keith

TOUR OPERATOR The guide to the stars DIRECTORY

The who’s who in the zoo of motorcycle travel worldwide is what you’ll find here.

We’ve travelled with many of them and know them all, so they come highly recommended. In alphabetical order, they are:

ADRIATIC MOTO TOURS – Europe www.adriaticmototours.com info@adriaticmototours.com CENTRAL OTAGO MOTORCYCLE HIRE AND TOURS – New Zealand www.comotorcyclehire.co.nz info@comotorcyclehire.co.nz EDELWEISS BIKE TRAVEL – Worldwide tours* *Guided, Self-Guided + Rental www.edelweissbike.com IMTBIKE TOURS & RENTALS – Spain, Portugal, Morocco, Europe and Thailand www.imtbike.com tours@imtbike.com

MAGIC MOTORCYCLING – Thailand and Croatia www.magicmotorcycling.com tour@magicmotorcycling.com MOTORRAD TOURS – Worldwide office@motorrad-tours.com www.motorrad-tours.com PARADISE MOTORCYCLE TOURS – New Zealand & European Alps www.paradisemotorcycletours.co.nz RIDE THE WORLD MOTORCYCLE TOURS www.ridetheworldmotorcycletours.com david@rtwmotorcycletours.com

ROMANIA MOTORCYCLE TOURS – Europe www.romaniamotorcycletours.com office@romaniamotorcycletours.com SOUTH PACIFIC MOTORCYCLE TOURS – New Zealand www.motorbiketours.co.nz office@motorbiketours.co.nz TEWAIPOUNAMU MOTORCYCLE TOURS – New Zealand www.motorcycle-hire.co.nz nzbike@motorcycle-hire.co.nz WORLD ON WHEELS – Europe, Iceland, South America, India, Asia, Mexico, Africa & Himalaya www.worldonwheels.tours Adventure@WorldOnWheels.Tours

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NEWBIKEPRICES

M

ost prices exclude dealer and on road costs and some are ride away prices – ask your local dealer for the best possible price!

APRILIA

www.aprilia.com.au ROAD Shiver 900 ABS Dorsoduro 900 ABS Tuono V4 1100 RR Tuono V4 1100 Factory RSV4 1100 Factory SCOOTERS SR MT 125 Scarabeo 200 ie

$15,190 $15,790 $22,490 $27,190 $33,990 $3390 $5190

BENELLI

www.benelli.com.au

*All Benelli prices are ride away ROAD TnT 135 $3690 502C $9090 Leoncino $8490 Leoncino Trail $8990 752 S $11,690 ADV TOURING TRK 502 TRK 502X

$8490 $8990

BMW

www.bmwmotorrad.com.au ROAD G 310 R F 800 R F 800 GT S 1000 R S 1000 R Sport S 1000 RR S 1000 RR Sport S 1000 RR Race R nineT R nineT Pure R nineT Scrambler R nineT Racer R nineT Urban G/S R 1250 R R 1250 R HP R 1250 R Exclusive R 1250 R Spezial R 1250 R R 1250 RS Sport R 1250 RS Exclusive R 1250 R Spezial R 1250 RT R 1250 RT Sport R 1250 RT Elegance R 1250 R Spezial K 1600 B K 1600 GT K 1600 GT Sport K 1600 GTL K 1600 GTL Elegance

$5790 $12,990 $16,300 $19,390 $21,690 $21,990 $23,990 $25,690 $22,490 $17,690 $18,750 $19,150 $18,750 $21,240 $27,040 $26,065 $26,765 $22,540 $28,215 $27,215 $28,065 $32,290 $33,190 $33,465 $34,215 $36,490 $36,490 $36,990 $37,990 $40,490

ADV SPORT S 1000 XR S 1000 XR Carbon Sport

$22,190 $29,290

ADV TOURING G 310 GS F 750 GS F 750 GS Tour F 750 GS Low Susp F 750 GS Tour LS F 850 GS F 850 GS Rallye F 850 GS Rallye X F 850 GS Tour F 850 GS Low Susp F 850 GS Rallye Low Susp F 850 GS Tour Low Susp F 850 GSA R 1250 GS R 1250 GS Rallye R 1250 GS Rallye X R 1250 GS Exclusive R 1250 GS Spezial R 1250 GSA R 1250 GSA Rallye R 1250 GSA Rallye X R 1250 GSA Exclusive R 1250 GSA Spezial

$8090 $13,590 $17,305 $13,840 $17,005 $17,990 $18,390 $22,305 $21,805 $18,240 $18,640 $21,505 $TBA $23,490 $24,940 $29,890 $28,140 $31,390 $25,490 $26,390 $31,590 $30,790 $30,540

SCOOTER C 650 Sport C 650 GT

$14,150 $14,990

CAN-AM (BRP) www.brp.com

Spyder F3 Spyder F3-S Spyder F3-T Spyder F3 Limited Spyder RT Spyder RT Limited

$TBA $TBA $TBA $TBA $TBA $TBA

CF MOTO

www.cf-moto.com.au ROAD 150NK $3290 250NK $3990 650NK $6490 650TK $7990 650MT $7990 650GT $7990

DUCATI

www.ducati.com.au

*All Ducati prices are ride away ROAD Scrambler Sixty2 $13,490 Scrambler Icon $13,990 Scrambler Full Throttle $17,540 Scrambler Café Racer $18,990 Scrambler Desert Sled $19,290 Scrambler 1100 $16,990 Scrambler 1100 Special $18,990 Scrambler 1100 Sport $19,990 Monster 659 $12,490 Monster 797 $13,490 Monster 821 $17,500 Monster 821 Stealth $18,590 Hypermotard $20,790 Hypermotard SP $25,990 Supersport $17,790

Supersport S Panigale 959 Red Panigale 959 White Panigale 959 Corse Monster 1200 Monster 1200 S Red Monster 1200 S Grey Monster 1200 R Red Diavel 1260 Diavel 1260 S X Diavel X Diavel S Black X Diavel S White Streetfighter V4 Streetfighter V4 S Panigale V4 Panigale V4 S Panigale V4 S GP Panigale V4 Speciale Panigale V4 Speciale Magnesium Wheel Panigale V4 R Panigale V4 R Superleggera ADV TOURING Multistrada 950 Red Multistrada 950 S Red Multistrada 950 S Grey Multistrada 950 S Red Spokes Multistrada 950 S Grey Spokes Multistrada 1260 Red Multistrada 1260 S Red Multistrada 1260 S White/Grey Multistrada 1260 S T-Pack Multistrada 1260 S Pikes Peak Multistrada 1260 Enduro Red Multistrada 1260 Enduro Sand Multistrada 1260 Enduro Red T-Pack Multistrada 1260 Enduro Sand T-Pack

$20,250 $22,490 $22,990 $25,990 $22,990 $26,990 $27,190 $30,190 $29,790 $34,890 $30,190 $35,490 $35,790 $29,800 $33,900 $31,390 $39,990 $42,790 $63,190 $68,190 $63,190 $150,000 $20,990 $23,490 $23,790 $23,750 $23,990 $26,490 $31,190 $31,390 $33,190 $38,490 $31,990 $32,190 $34,690 $34,890

HARLEY-DAVIDSON

www.harley-davidson.com * All Harley-Davidson prices are ride away CRUISER Street 500 $9995 Street Rod $12,995 SuperLow 883 $15,495 Iron 883 $15,495 Iron 1200 $16,495 Forty-Eight $18,995 Forty-Eight Special $18,995 Custom 1200 $19,250 Roadster $19,495 Street Bob $23,495 Low Rider $24,250 Slim $26,250 Fat Bob $27,495 Fat Bob 114 $30,250 Sport Glide $27,750 Deluxe $29,495 Fat Boy $30,995 Fat Boy 114 $33,995 Breakout $31,250 Breakout 114 $33,995 FXDR 114 $35,495 Heritage Classic $31,750 Heritage Classic 114 $33,995

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NEW BIKE PRICES Road King $34,250 Road King Special $35,250 Road Glide $36,495 Road Glide Special $37,495 Street Glide $36,495 Street Glide Special $37,495 Ultra Limited $39,995 Freewheeler $40,250 Tri Glide Ultra $50,995

Chief Dark Horse $28,995 Chief Vintage $32,995 Springfield $33,995 Springfield Dark Horse $34,995 Chieftain Dark Horse $35,995 Chieftain Limited $36,995 Roadmaster $40,995 Roadmaster Elite $49,995

CVO Street Glide 117 Road Glide 117 Ultra Limited 117

KAWASAKI

$49,750 $49,995 $52,995

HONDA

www.honda.com.au ROAD Grom $3490 Monkey $5399 CB125E $2399 CB300R $5999 CB500F $7599 CBR500R $7699 CBR600RR $14,999 CB650F $9799 CB650R $9999 CBR650F $9999 CBR650R $10,299 CB1000R $16,799 CBR1000RR Fireblade $18,086 CBR1000RR Fireblade SP $28,499 Goldwing DCT $35,999 Goldwing Tour $41,999 Goldwing Tour Premium $42,999 CRUISER CMX $8099 ADV TOURING CRF250R Rally $7299 CB500X $7999 NC750XA $9999 Africa Twin $17,499 Africa Twin Adventure Sports $19,699 Africa Twin Adventure Sport DCT $19,999 VFR1200X Crosstourer $18,299 SCOOTER NSC110 Dio $2799 MW110 Benly $3349 C125 Super Cub $5199 SH150 $4999 PCX150 $4599 NSS300A Forza $7999

ROAD Z125 Pro KRT $4249 Z400 $6799 Ninja 400 $6899 Ninja 400 SE $7149 Z650L $10,499 Ninja 650/L Grey $10,699 Ninja 650/L Black $10,999 Ninja ZX-6R 636 KRT $15,199 W800 Café $13,999 W800 Street $13,499 Z900 $12,699 Z900RS $16,499 Z900RS Café $16,499 Z1000 $15,999 Ninja 1000 SX $16,999 Ninja 1000 SX SE $17,199 ZX-10R $23,900 ZX-10RR $35,500 ZX-14R $22,099 Z H2 $23,000 H2 SX SE $29,300 H2 Carbon $41,900 $9999 $10,199 $10,499 $12,699 $12,799

ADV TOURING Versys X 300 SE $6899 Versys 650/L $10,799 KLR650 $8199 Versys 1000 S $19,999

KTM

www.ktm.com.au ROAD 390 Duke 790 Duke 790 Duke R 1290 Super Duke R 1290 Super Duke GT

$7295 $14,995 $15,495 $25,995 $29,695

INDIAN

ADV TOURING 690 Enduro R 790 Adventure 790 Adventure R 1090 Adventure R 1290 Super Adv S 1290 Super Adv R

$17,595 $21,195 $22,695 $24,295 $28,395 $29,195

*All Indian Motorcycle prices are ride away

KYMCO

HUSQVARNA

www.husqvarna-motorcycles.com/au ROAD Vitpilen 401 Svartpilen 401 Vitpilen 701

$11,592 $11,592 $18,337

www.indianmotorcycles.com.au

CRUISER Scout Bobber $18,995 Scout $19,495 FTR1200 $20,995 FTR1200S $22,995 FTR1200S Race Rep $24,995

$2595 $2995 $2799 $3395 $7495

LAMBRETTA

www.lambrettaaustralia.com.au

www.kawasaki.com.au

CRUISER Vulcan S Vulcan S SE Vulcan S Café Vulcan 900 Classic Vulcan 900 Custom

SCOOTER Super 8 125 Like 125 Espresso 150 Like 200 Downtown 300i ABS

kymco.com.au ROAD CK 125

$2095

CRUISER Venox 250

$5295

V125 Special Fix V125 Special Flex V200 Special Fix V200 Special Flex

$4290 $4290 $4990 $4990

MOTO GUZZI

www.motoguzzi.com.au ROAD V7 III Stone V7 III Special V7 III Racer V7 III Anniversario V9 Bobber V9 Roamer

$12,990 $13,990 $16,490 $16,990 $15,190 $15,190

CRUISER Cali Audace Carbon $23,990 Cali 1400 Eldorado $23,990 Cali 1400 Touring SE $25,990 MGX-21 $35,000

MV AGUSTA

www.mvagusta.com.au ROAD F3 675 Brutale 800 Rosso Brutale 800 RR Dragster 800 Rosso Dragster 800 RR Dragster 800 RC Dragster 800 RC Race Kit F3 800 F3 800 RC F3 800 RC Race Kit Superveloce 800 Red Superveloce 800 Black (Carbon) Turismo Veloce Rosso Turismo Veloce Lusso Turismo Veloce Lusso SCS Brutale 1000 RR Rush 1000 Rush 1000 Race Kit

$24,290 $22,890 $26,990 $24,390 $28,390 $31,590 $33,190 $25,490 $28,690 $31,890 $32,390 $33,090 $25,990 $30,790 $34,990 $49,990 $53,990 $58,390

PIAGGIO

www.piaggio.com.au *Some Piaggio prices are ride away SCOOTER Typhoon 125 Fly 150 3V Liberty S 150 3V Medley 150 Yourban 300 BV 350 Sport Touring X10 350 X10 500

$2790 $3490 $3790 $5290 $9790 $8190 $9490 $9,990

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PEUGEOT

V-Strom 1050 V-Strom 1050 XT

*All Peugeot prices are ride away

SCOOTER Address

www.peugeotmotorcycles.com.au SCOOTER Tweet 125 Tweet 125 Pro Django 150 Belville 200 RS Metropolis 400

$3590 $3690 $4790 $5290 $13,490

ROYAL ENFIELD

www.royalenfieldaustralia.com *All Royal Enfield prices are ride away ROAD Meteor 350 Fireball Meteor 350 Stellar Meteor 350 Supernova Bullet 500 Classic 500 Classic 500 Chrome Bullet 500 Trials Interceptor 650 Classic Interceptor 650 Custom Interceptor 650 Chrome Continental GT 650 Classic Continental GT 650 Custom Continental GT 650 Chrome

$6540 $6840 $7240 $7890 $8190 $8390 $8190 $8640 $8840 $9140 $8840 $9040 $9340

ADV TOURING Himalayan 410

$6540

SUPER SOCO

www.supersoco.com.au *All Super Soco prices are ride away ROAD TC Café Racer $4990 TC Max alloy wheel $6990 TC Max wire wheel $7290 CUX $4490 CUX Special Edition Ducati $4990

SUZUKI

www.suzukimotorcycles.com.au ROAD GSX-S125 GSX-R125 DR-Z400SM GSX-R600 SV650 SV650 LAMS GSX-S750 GSX-R750 GSX-S1000 GSX-S1000F GSX-S1000 Katana GSX-R1000 GSX-R1000R GSX1300R Hayabusa

$3490 $4490 $9390 $14,990 $8990 $9190 $11,790 $15,990 $15,190 $16,290 $17,490 $21,990 $25,490 $19,490

CRUISER Boulevard S40 Boulevard C50T Boulevard M109R

$7990 $11,190 $19,790

ADV TOURING DR650SE V-Strom 650 V-Strom 650 XT

$8290 $10,990 $12,290

$16,490 $18,990 $2820

SWM

VESPA

www.vespa.com.au

www.swmmotorcycles.com.au ROAD Gran Turismo Silver Vase 440 Gran Milano 440 SM 500 R SM 650 R

$7490 $7490 $7990 $8990 $9490

ADV TOURING Superdual

$9990

TRIUMPH

www.triumphmotorcycles.com.au *All Triumph prices are ride away

ROAD Street Triple S 660 $14,900 Street Triple RS $19,800 Street Twin $15,890 Street Scrambler $17,990 Bonneville T100 $17,300 Bonneville T100 Black $17,300 Bobber $20,590 Bonneville Bobber Black $22,100 Bonneville T120 $19,990 Bonneville T120 Black $19,990 Speedmaster $22,100 Thruxton $21,100 Thruxton R $23,990 Thruxton RS $25,390 Speed Twin $20,350 Daytona Moto2 765 $28,990 Tiger Sport $19,800 Speed Triple RS $25,290 CRUISER Rocket 3 R Rocket 3 GT

$29,990 $30,900

ADV TOURING Scrambler 1200 XC Scrambler 1200 XE Tiger 900 GT & GT Low Tiger 900 Rally Tiger 900 GT Pro Tiger 900 Rally Pro Tiger 1200 XRx Tiger 1200 XCx Tiger 1200 XRt Tiger 1200 XCa

$22,500 $23,990 $20,950 $21,990 $24,150 $24,750 $26,600 $28,200 $29,990 $31,990

TRIUMPH FACTORY CUSTOM (TFC) www.triumphmotorcycles.com.au *All TFC prices are ride away ROAD Thruxton TFC Bobber TFC Rocket 3 TFC

Ranger $26,490 Ranger Sportsman LE $29,690 Ranger Sahara LE $29,990

$33,990 $29,990 $38,990

URAL

www.imz-ural.com.au ROAD cT $23,290

SCOOTER Primavera 125 3V $5590 Primavera 150 3V $6290 Sprint 150 3V $6390 Sprint 150 3V SE $6490 GTS 150 3V $6290 PX150 $6490 PX150 Touring $6790 946 Bellissima $12,490 946 Armani $14,990 GTS250ie FL $7890 GTS300 Super $9190 GTS300 Super Sport $9490

YAMAHA

www.yamaha-motor.com.au ROAD YZF-R15 $4299 MT-03 $5799 R3 $6299 R3 SP $6399 YZF-R6 $17,499 MT-07 LA $9999 MT-07 HO $10,699 XSR700 LA $10,999 MT-07 Tracer $12,299 MT-09 $12,299 MT-09 SP $13,999 XSR900 $12,999 MT-09 Tracer $15,499 MT-09 Tracer GT $18,199 Niken $21,999 Niken GT $23,999 MT-10 $18,999 MT-10SP $21,999 YZF-R1 $23,999 YZF-R1M $31,999 FJR1300AE $27,999 CRUISER Virago $6799 V Star 650 Custom $8799 V Star 650A Classic $9299 Star Bolt C-Spec Cafe $8699 Star Bolt R-Spec $11,999 V Star 950 $13,999 XVS1300 Stryker $15,499 ADV TOURING XT250 $6299 Tenere 700 $15,499 Super Tenere $19,999 Super Tenere ESP $21,999 SCOOTER D’elight 125 NMAX 150 Tricity 150 XMAX 300 TMAX 560

$3399 $3999 $5099 $6999 $16,599

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BEARFACED

VE MAKE ZE RULEZ

W

HAT DID TRAVELLERS HAVE to worry about before the COVID plague? In retrospect, it might seem as if the answer should be “bugger all”, but that’s not true.

Back in August of 2019, an American journalist called Laura Begley Bloom compiled a list of European no-nos that seem absolutely nonsensical in the light of our current worries. Well, actually, they seemed absolutely nonsensical at the time, too, as Ms Bloom points out.

Take the beach in Sardinia, or rather don’t take the beach in Sardinia. Not even little bits of it. Two French tourists are facing up to six years of jail time for taking sand from a beach on the island. Is it really amazing sand or are the authorities on drugs? A 2017 law made it illegal to remove sand, pebbles and shells, with fines of up to €3,000. The following year, a tourist from the UK got fined €1,000 for stealing sand. Meanwhile there’s a law prohibiting anyone from sitting on Rome’s Spanish Steps, and you can be fined for wearing thongs in the Cinque Terre. That’s rubber footwear type thongs, not the hot kind.

Not that it’s only Italy. The Spaniards and the French have caught the bug too.

In the summer of 2018, two tourists got fined €25 for getting lost in a Metro station in Paris. In the Mallorcan town of Magaluf, lawmakers have published a list of 64 banned actions with penalties ranging from €100 to €3,000 for everything from damaging flowers to climbing trees. This summer, a surprised traveler in Mallorca was fined €100 for buying goods from an illegal street vendor. And don’t think you can just bring in your knock-off Hermes bag. In France, tourists can get fined up to €300,000 for bringing counterfeit goods into the country. Other countries like Austria, Ireland and Croatia are similarly strict.

And in Amsterdam, which is known for its brothels and marijuana cafés, the city recently launched the ‘Enjoy and Respect’ campaign, with fines for drinking in public, making noise, littering and more. In Amsterdam? Oh, man, have another toke.

The island city of Hvar in Croatia will fine you for a lengthy list of inappropriate public behavior, including walking around in a swimsuit—a €600 fine. It’s against the law to wear only a bikini or swimming shorts in the street. Authorities may impose fines if people are caught

wearing swimwear away from the beach.

Supporters say it’s all an attempt to keep unruly tourists in line. “Young tourists are welcome, but they will have to learn how to behave here,” Hvar’s fed-up mayor Rikardo Novak told local media when he instated those fines. Mind you, some of those swimsuits are a bit… basic. See the comment about things, above, but this time the other kind.

Signs reading “Save Your Money and Enjoy Hvar” greet tourists at the entrances to the center of the town, graphically detailing offenses and the corresponding penalties. The highest fine, €700, is for public alcohol-drinking, eating or sleeping.

In Mallorca that swimsuit ban even extends to the seafront promenade. In France, it’s against the law to wear a baggy swimsuit: Sorry bloke, but if you’re headed to a public pool in France, you’ll need to learn those Okenuis at home and don tight-fitting Speedos instead.

Are these restrictions and fines over the top? Critics do say all these rules are way too punitive. The move has sparked debates online with some saying it’s a sure-fire way to turn off tourists. But maybe that’s the point? Stephen Hodes, the founder of an independent think tank called Amsterdam in Progress, says he thinks Amsterdam hasn’t been strict enough. “There are too many tourists,” he says. “The only thing to do is to take radical measures, otherwise it’s a consumption ghetto, not a city where people live.”

Well yes, but you know the old saying I’ve just made up: “He who lives by the tourist must abide by the tourist”.

Portugal has a bizarre law on the books saying that you can get busted for peeing in the ocean. Who would ever know?

Italy did have one sensible new law added to the books. In the center of Milan, selfie sticks were recently banned—in addition to glass bottles and food trucks—as authorities try to limit littering and antisocial behavior. Ask a fellow tourist to snap a photo for you, and use the bloody bin – not for the fellow tourist, of course. It’s funny, I always thought it was the Italians who mainly did the littering…

Don’t run out of fuel while enjoying the unrestricted speeds of Germany’s Autobahn. Make sure your fuel tank is topped off—it’s illegal to run out of fuel.

And forget about jaywalking: Germany takes its road safety very seriously. It’s a common social rule not to cross a pedestrian crossing before the light turns green. If you cross anyway, you could be fined €5-€10. Of course we have a jaywalking law in most cities in Australia, as well, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it being applied.

Talking of walking: In 2011, a Swiss court made it illegal to hike naked. The case came about after a German man strode nude past a family picnicking near the Swiss Alps. Naked hiking had become increasingly popular in the years before the court ruling. And don’t go displaying emotions, either: kissing on a train platform has recently been banned in train stations in Manchester, England. France has had a similar law on the books since 1910. It allegedly holds up commuters and rail delays. So much for all the passionate platform scenes in French movies.

It’s also still illegal in France to drive without a breathalyzer in the car.

Although the on-the-spot fine of €11 ($12) is no levied by the government, it remains against law. And of course you need to carry two: if the gendarmes make you blow into the only one you have, you’re suddenly breaking the law.

And finally, here’s a beauty from England. The Public Health (Control of Disease) Act of 1984 makes it illegal to flag down a taxi in England if you have a “notifiable” disease without telling the driver. Then the driver can decide whether he/she wants to take you where you need to go, presumably a doctor. But here’s the thing: can you be sure you have a notifiable disease without asking a doctor? Or are cabbies provided with booklets listing symptoms and their diseases, so they can advise you?

“I dunno, guv’nor, it doesn’t seem all that notifiable to me…” Lots of fun awaits us in Europe when the Plague has been and gone. I for one can’t wait. Especially to get in on that Sardinian beach sand racket… D

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BORIS

WORDS BORIS MIHAILOVIC

SMACK-TALK I

’M A REALLY CRAP eavesdropper. I think to be good at listening in on other peoples’ conversations requires a degree of subtlety I just don’t have.

My beloved wife has bruised herself belting me each time she catches me staring open-mouthed at a conversation I have accidently happened to overhear at another table when we are out for a bite to eat.

“What?” I say to her when she slaps me. “Stop staring at them and making that face,” she will hiss in a stage whisper.

I don’t do stage whispers either.

“But did you hear what that witless twat said?” I would reply in my normal voice.

“Ssshhh!” she will hiss at me angrily, and so I will shush, shake my head at what I have heard, and carry on eating.

But there are places I go where my wife does not go, and therefore I don’t get slapped. Well, not by her, anyway.

Places where motorcycle riders gather. Places where the smack-talk is quite often off the charts.

I get that. I so do. But that is not gonna stop me staring gape-mouthed when I hear some race-leathered thundergod declaim his alleged riding brilliance to his mates.

I know exactly how fast I’m not. I have shared racetracks with MotoGP racers, and I am the first to fall to my knees in the pits, grab their skinny little legs, and moan: “I am not worthy!”

I have also heard a whole bunch of shit being dribbled by blokes who are

not racers, but who will declare they have ridden all day at 270km/h, carved bends at three times the suggested limit, and are wearing the leathers and knee-sliders to prove it.

And then, astride a borrowed Harley, I pass them on the Ten-Mile.

Not because I am any great shakes as a rider, but because they are so insufferably terrible at riding, I fear they will crash in front of me, and then I will be forced to stop and render assistance, and my day will be ruined. If I pass them and then they crash, then it’s that whole “If a tree falls in the forest and no-one sees it…”

And, because I am a wretched and cussed bastard (and they don’t use their mirrors), I will try to ensure my pass is ruthless and savage and bathes them in shame. I hope it also startles them and they wet themselves.

It’s bizarre, this smack-talking thing.

Not 20 minutes earlier, this bloke had all but declared he was waiting for HRC to call him and offer him Marquez’s ride. Then, confronted with an endless succession of brilliant, constant-radius bends and a delicious surface, he’s wobbling his S1000RR through them like he started riding that morning.

Sure, on the straight bits, people like him are all the throttle all the time. But when the twisty business starts, the stuff of life, as it were, the throttle seems to be the last thing he is interested in. It’s all brakes and

crazy lines and finding three apexes where there is only one. It’s kinda like me trying to follow Chris Vermeulen through Southern Loop.

If he’d bothered to look in his mirrors as he passed me he would have fallen off in hysterics.

Of course we all embellish our smack-talk. I’ve stood at many a campfire and told the most egregious lies about my riding prowess. But no-one listening gave it any credence at all.

Just as I did not give any credence to the lies that followed upon the heels of my lies. It was late, we were drunk, and like cavemen of old were merely retelling the tale of the hunt as we had wished it was, but knew it wasn’t.

I think that’s different to talking yourself up in a café to a bunch of similarly-minded simpletons, and then being shamed by some fat prick on a borrowed Harley.

Personally, when I am giving my all and trying, and I get rounded up with verve and aplomb by someone who is much faster and better than me, that makes me happy. I don’t get pissed off when I’m being closely followed. I watch my mirrors, work out the bloke behind me is faster than me, and then I make it easy for him to pass me. I might then try and keep with him for a bit, admire his skill, wish him well, and carry on with my day.

I sure as shit don’t get all uppity and huffy, and ponce around like a scorned girlfriend if we happen to pull into the same petrol station later.

There will always be someone faster and better than you. Always.

And in many cases, those someones are legion.

In some cases I have seen, those someones are virtually everyone.

Keep that in mind the next time you’re dribbling shit over your coffee. D

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