The Multistrada 1200 takes riding beyond all the barriers of compromise. Unbeatable on tarmac, perfect and comfortable for long distance travelling, agile through town and fun off the road.
Experience the Multistrada 1200 and 1200 S, test ride at your local Authorised Ducati Dealer today.
Extend the warranty coverage of your new Ducati with our Ever Red 12 or 24-month solution. Activate it now and add value to your passion.
Contributors Robert Crick, Mike Grant, Jacqui Kennedy, Robert Lovas, Phil Gadd, Boris Mihailovic, Lester Morris, The Possum,Guy Stanford, Stuart Strickland, Michael Walley, Colin Whelan
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what’s he blabbing on about now?
TheMotorcycle Council of NSW recently held “Motorcycle Awareness Week”. The main event was a day at Customs House in Sydney promoting all things motorcycling, but it was a bit of a disappointment that there weren’t more motorcyclists in attendance. From our source on the ground you could have counted the attendees on one hand. What does this say to the Minister Duncan Gay, who turned up with the announcement that NSW will be allowing ECE spec helmets in line with Queensland and Victoria? What does this say to the wider community about motorcyclists when the promotion of the day at Customs House was barely noticeable and there were more flies than motorcyclists?
Motorcycle Council of NSW, you really need to get your backside into gear. Promote the blazes out of this day, get as many motorcyclists to attend as possible, don’t rely on telling a few friends to come down. We’ll help in any way we can, but I don’t even recall seeing notification of this event. You need to show numbers to the people in power. I have no doubt, as good as Minister Gay has been towards motorcyclists, that he got back to his office and thought this to be a massive waste of his time.
All I can say is that motorcyclists in NSW are damn lucky to have Minister Gay and not someone else in power, because this pitiful attendance shows to anyone that motorcyclists couldn’t give a rats, when in actual fact we do! From everyone I’d spoken to about the day at Customs House, no one and I repeat, no one knew about it! That is a joke. I hope next year is better and promoted like no other; otherwise what is the use of the “Motorcycle Council of NSW”?
The Sydney Motorcycle Show has just run, too. It was great to see so many of you come out and talk to us and give The Inflatable Bear a red hot kicking because the original wasn’t there but rather sunning himself in Milan, looking at girls with long legs
at the EICMA show. He does give his apologies for his non-attendance and he says that all the new bike info in this issue was collected specially for you! No one else from the Australian bike press gets invited to EICMA, so we count ourselves lucky we have The Bear on the ground getting all the latest goss.
Most of the manufacturers turned up to the Sydney show, which is great. The most notable non-attendance was Honda. Who knows what’s going on at Honda HQ, but I think that something needs to be done to pump up this once “untouchable” brand. If not for the postie bike sales, Honda would be nowhere on the sales charts – a big disappointment for the almighty red wings.
This is going to be our last issue with our two free pullout maps, we will be cutting back to just one. The feedback we’ve received from those we’ve spoken to is that you all really love the road map, but are not overly fussed with the adventure map; what we’ll do is have the road map every issue (as usual), but replace it with an adventure map every now and then. If you think we should continue with both maps.
Finally, Ballina Shire Council has released (with a little input from us), their “Ballina Base Motorcycle Touring Guide”. Packed with rides, tips and things to see and do around the Ballina and hinterland area. It is a great pocket guide for all motorcyclists. If you’d like a copy, visit www.discoverballina.com
Enjoy!
Cheers, Stuart.
FROM THE BEAR
GRIZZLING
No strings attached to the Misano 1000, except chequebook wise.
OH, DE COLOGNE!
Munich started it, and now Cologne has also set up scooter sharing. It works pretty much like car sharing, with one important difference: you don’t need to sign up and stuff around with an account. Instead, you just demonstrate via your smartphone that you have a rider’s licence. The system then tells you where the nearest Vespa Primavera
“Well, are you up for it?”
is waiting for you. Ignition and helmet compartment are unlocked electronically and off you go – at a cost of 3.6 Euros for the first half hour and 18 cents per minute after that.
Hey, I can imagine this in the next James Bond movie. Bond flips open his phone, locates a scooter, dons the helmet and gives chase – all in a matter of seconds…
Well, okay, maybe not with a 50cc Vespa.
AGO SAYS BLOW
The mighty Agostini is promoting Dainese’s airbag jacket. It does not require any attachment to the bike, so they tell us, but is activated by a sensor in the back protector. How does that work? I’ll tell you when I find out. No doubt they’ll explain in Milan. Meanwhile, though, the company has announced that in 1000 deployments on race tracks around the world, only one wearer of Dainese’s “racing” airbag jackets sustained a broken collarbone. And if you want to protect yourself with the new Misano 1000 airbag jacket, you will only need to pony up 1455 Euros.
IT WAS IN THE PAPER
Quite apart from the peccadillos of particular titles (there used to be a bumper sticker around that read “Is it true or did you read it in the Telly?”), newspapers are largely becoming
refuges for the illiterate. I won’t go into details because I get really crabby and come across as a pedant (and why not!); this is more about the occasional rare joyful find.
I have a yellowing cutting here about a home invasion in rural Essex, in Britain. One of the invaders shot the husband
What would this look like at night, coming the other way?
It is very tempting to suggest a caption competition here. Very tempting indeed…
So
all right.
Caption competition!
The winner gets a waterproof Australian MOTORCYCLIST Magazine phone and passport holder. Entries by the middle of December, when the next issue of MOTORCYCLIST comes out, to PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111 or info@ausmotorcyclist.com.au.
several time with a Taser, until his wife told them where their safe was. Police, according to the cutting, described the raid as a “shocking incident”…
Another one explains why British police dog handlers are having to learn German. It seems that 17 British police forces are importing German police dogs. “Police have opted for German dogs”, says the clipping, “as they are deemed more obedient than those bred in Britain.” All together now: “Voof, I vas chust followink orders, javoof…”
I SEE THE LIGHT
These light bar things are catching on, aren’t they? A recent encounter with this one was, fortunately, in daylight hours. We’re not sure what the legal, er, position is but we like them! Now, I wonder if we can come up with a (legal) design for a custom bike that uses a light bar instead of a normal headlight? Hmm…
Peter ‘The Bear’ Thoeming
Your riding gear is designed to allow moisture to escape your body, but it can’t do its job in the most important area unless you have a seat that breathes.
1. Touratech Vapor-Flow™
The technology allows your body’s moisture to pass through your riding gear, down through the seat fabric and into the breathable membrane. The moisture then escapes through the sides of the seat, leaving you dry and comfortable.
2. Rain-Block™
Although the seat is breathable (allowing moisture vapor to pass through the fabric) the tight structure of the Rain-Block™ fabric forces water droplets to bead up and roll off the seat. It’s completely waterproof.
3. Ergo-Response™
Ergo-Response™ technology keeps you on top of the saddle, not sunken down into it. The foam core is sculpted in a way that ensures there’s no pressure on the coccyx (tail-bone) and your weight is supported evenly. The longer you ride, the better if feels.
» Anatomically shaped contours
» Available in different heights
» No modifications to bike necessary
» Special contour prevents sliding during acceleration and braking
» Complete and ready for fitting
» Optimal positioning of sealed seams
» Optimised foam core gives high stability
» Groove for relief of coccyx
» Bi-elastic cover material 100% waterproof
» Sealed seams
» Robust and extremely durable
l
dem Zimmermann 7-9 | DE 78078 Nieder
might get fatigue in their hands or wrists after a long day in the saddle. The Renthal Ultra-Tacky grips have been developed to increase traction between the glove and the grip, increasing control and reducing rider fatigue. The unique Ultra-Tacky compound constantly produces and renews a sticky surface coating, which when combined with the Renthal soft compound offers an incredibly grippy yet comfortable surface. Suitable for use in all conditions, the grip is particularly applicable where riders are looking for increased control with the handlebars. The sticky surface will last for the lifetime of the grip and if it loses its stickiness at any point, simply wash it with clean water and allow the grips to air dry to re-activate. See your local bike shop or visit www.cassons.com.au
BOOTS YOU CAN WALK IN!
Dainese Tempest D-WP boots
Price - $299.95
These men’s and ladies’ boots are from
the holy grail of a touring motorcyclist’s wish list! They’re all-round touring boots which do not hold you back when you want to hop off the bike and stretch your legs. Certified to CE Cat. II, the Tempest boots not only offer superior protection, but also include a D-WP waterproof liner and flexible joints for when you need to walk around off the bike. Available in sizes: Men’s - 41-50 and Ladies - 36-42. See your local bike shop or visit www.cassons.com.au
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
MotoSafe earplugs
Price - $44.99
categories. Contact Mark Barthelmie: 0433 106 669 with any enquiries.
HANG ON!
We reviewed the MotoSafe Alpine Hearing Protection earplugs a few issues back and loved them. In fact, both The Bear and Stuart wear them to
this day. Motorcycle Accessories Queensland is a retail outlet for MotoSafe earplugs so jump on the website and grab a pair, and while you’re there, they also have the bright-as Clearwater lights. www.motorcycleaccessories queensland.com.au
SHOW N SHINE
Zorro’s 10th April 2016
Head to Zorro’s at Factory 10, 95 White Street. Mordialloc VIC 3195 (Behind Cafe) for their Show n Shine. They’ll have lots to see and do and there’s trophies for a variety of
Aerostich Helmet and Suit holder If you have been searching for the ideal place to hang your helmet and riding gear whether at home or the office, your search is over. This is a unique system that attaches directly to any wall or flat surface or with the Office Cube Adapter, will fit over the edge of a cubicle wall or door. Visit www.aerostich.com for more.
SONG
RDS
LONG
WORDS STUART WOODBURY PHOTOS NICK WOOD
Stuart is wearing a Shark Speed R II helmet, Segura Retro jacket, Dririder Stealth gloves, Draggin Nextgen jeans and Sidi Vertigo boots.
“IF YOU WANT A BIKE PACKED WITH THE LATEST TECHNOLOGY – THIS IS IT“
We rode the new Ducati Multistrada 1200 DVT, so now it’s time to ride the super techno S version with its electronic Skyhook suspension and new multimedia dash. This is the third version of the Skyhook suspension we’ve tested. If you want a bike packed with the latest technology – this is it. The S is equipped with: a new Testastretta DVT L-twin power plant, full LED cornering headlights, cruise control, full-TFT colour display, Ducati multimedia system, backlit handlebar switches, Ducati wheelie and traction control, Bosch 9.1ME cornering ABS, inertial measurement unit and Ducati Skyhook Suspension EVO.
Skyhook EVO sees the Multistrada S equipped with new pressurised 48mm Sachs forks with new electronics; a new rear spring travel sensor which measures stroke, lean and pitch angle data from the Inertial Measurement Unit (IMU); and a new software strategy: Touring oriented - to further enhance comfort; Sport orientedfocused on handling performance and Enduro oriented – better stability on trails. You can set the suspension up for single rider, with luggage, two-up, and with luggage, then scroll through the various settings on the fl y, depending on the road you’re riding. Then, if you want a more “personal” setting you can further adjust the suspension through the dash. I found that one off full hard on the front and set up as rider with luggage was best (ha ha ha…the sub), anything else didn’t give the exact feeling I was looking for and this is where having such a wide range of settings comes into its own to cope with each rider’s preferences.
The new engine, which is also in the standard version we tested in issue #30, is Ducati’s variable timing
Easy way to spot the S model is via the silver handguard.
Sakari
L-twin. We gave pretty much all the technical info in that issue, but the DVT engine is basically suited to a continuous band from a super stable touring power plant to a hypersport engine depending on your input with the throttle and gear position. This also provides better fuel consumption thanks to your being able to ride the DVT in a higher gear with fewer revs.
A feature that I’m especially impressed with is the full LED cornering headlights. One of the headlights per side moves when you lean the bike to 7 degrees or more. The sensors adjust the headlight position depending on which way you’re heading. To test this feature I headed out late one night and onto a road that has some fl owing turns and little to no street lighting. The headlights illuminate an inside bit of the corner that allows you to see much more of the road and the direction of the corner. It could also be good for those dark nights when you’re caught out in the countryside and Skippy is just waiting to pop his fl ashy smile in front of you. The cornering headlights may give you that extra fraction of a second to react.
Cornering ABS is another great safety feature which is also fi tted to the standard model. It works well and helps you to steer the bike when you might only run straight on with noncornering brakes.
To add to the front braking ability, the S features the same braking package as the 1299 Panigale, whereas the standard model has the equivalent of the 899 Panigale setup. Having this extra performance on the front is always welcome and excellent when you decide it’s time to get “sporty”.
For those who like to be connected at all times, the full-TFT coloured dash features a multimedia system (DMS). This is a system of components connected via Bluetooth. It allows you to manage your smartphone via the backlit handlebar switches and full-TFT display. Your smartphone’s data is visualised on the display while voice/audio is provided
via a helmet headset. Garmin navigator’s audible route instructions are managed by DMS too, but for those who really like to be connected, DMS allows you to receive and answer phone calls, alerts you to incoming text messages - and you can listen to your favourite music as well.
Taking it one step further you can get the ‘Multistrada Link App’ which uses bike data received via the Bluetooth module to expand the riding experience into another dimension. You are able to share routes you’ve taken and take advantage of all sorts of interaction. It’s available for both IOS and Android devices.
Accessories are extensive. Ducati has four specifi c “accessory packs” you can purchase for the Multistrada: The Touring Pack (the one fi tted to the bike we tested) contains heated grips, panniers and centre stand for $1787. The Sport Pack revs up with a Termignoni muffl er, carbon fi bre front mudguard and machined billet aluminium brake and clutch reservoir caps for the same price, $1787. The Urban Pack keeps the Multistrada sleek for around town with a rear top case and tank bag with lock and USB power hub for charging, priced at $1098. Finally the Enduro Pack tackles off-road with fog lights and Ducati Performance components by Touratech - engine protection bars, radiator guard, oil sump guard, bigger side stand base and off-road foot pegs, all for $1787 again.
The Ducati Multistrada 1200 S DVT is priced at four thousand or so (depending on colour: red or white) more dollars than the standard version and for that you do get a lot of bells and whistles. Try buying all of this technology and fi tting it to your bike – it would cost tens of thousands!
For someone after the latest and greatest in this ever evolving technology world, the S version has the right ‘byte’.
BRAKES: Front, twin 330mm discs with radial mount four-piston switchable ABS calipers. Rear, 265mm disc, dual-piston switchable ABS caliper.
FUEL CONSUMPTION: 5.66 litres per 100km, premium unleaded
THEORETICAL RANGE: 353km
COLOURS: Red, Iceberg White
VERDICT:TECHNO DELIGHT
Distributed by Cassons Pty Ltd - AUSTRALIA P: +61(0)2 8882 1900 F: +61(0)2 8882 1999 E: enquiries@cassons.com.au
W: www.cassons.com.au
The Ural is happy on gravel with suitable suspension.
ROAD TEST
Backin (at a guess) 1971, I missed out on what looked like the deal of a lifetime: a brand new motorcycle at a dollar per cc. Six hundred and fifty bucks for a Cossack, a rebadged USSR-made Dnepr. By the time I caught on to the deal, the price had gone up and I paid nearly $800. That turned out to be a ripoff.
There is a Russian proverb which, more or less directly translated, says “without torture, no knowledge”. The bike demonstrated the truth of that saying over and over again, torturing me by being unreliable, staggeringly uncomfortable and finally almost deadly when it dumped my girlfriend and me onto the road at speed (well, all the speed it could manage) in heavy traffic. Knowledge finally came, and the Cossack and I parted company permanently. I was pretty sure that that would be the last time I voluntarily rode a Russian motorcycle – any Russian motorcycle. I had already sworn off the Planeta 3 after discovering just how gutless a two-stroke 350 could be.
Scroll forward to 2015, and the introduction of the latest Ural model. Latest model? Yes, modern ideas have reached even Irbit on the edge of Siberia, and the Russians have been fitting things like fuel injection and disc brakes to their bikes.
Ural? Why not Dnepr? These two brands were born as twins when Stalin ordered the mass production of copied BMW R71s, spread over two factories. The Dnepr factory is in Ukraine today while the Ural plant was set up in Moscow and moved to Irbit when it came into range of German bombers during the war. Like most twins, Dnepr and Ural developed somewhat differently once they were separated and while they look superficially similar, are now reasonably distinct brands.
Clockwise from top: The paint has improved steadily over the years. / Sidecar mounting points are well worked out and strong. / Exhausts and much else are stainless steel / Engine is basically simple but has been upgraded in many ways.
ROAD TEST
And while I would still be reluctant to climb aboard a Dnepr, I now have no such reservations about Irbit’s finest. The Ural cT bike and sidecar combination provided by Ural Australia for this test was a lot of fun. The deep and even paint is the first thing you notice, and the rest of the bike lives up to it pretty well. But before we go into detail, let’s just take a quick look at the whole concept of sidecar outfits.
When Louis “Satchmo” Armstrong was
asked what jazz is all about, he replied “If you’ve gotta ask, you’ll never know”. The same thing is true of outfits once you’ve sampled one. Admittedly, your first reaction is likely to be raw fear, but once you haven’t in fact died, the terror will turn into either a huge grin or a shaky claim that these things are tools of the devil and you will never again board one. Either way, go with your initial reaction – outfits are not for everyone. Here are a few tips for those who end up with the grin.
Get training. Riding an outfit is counter-intuitive in many ways, and relying on your motorcycle riding reflexes can get you into all sorts of trouble. I was “taught” by someone who had no idea what he was doing, and I suffered for my ignorance for many years.
Change your mindset. Treating an outfit as a bike with something bolted onto the side is a recipe for much unhappiness. It is a different kind of vehicle altogether, and if you treat it that way there is a much better chance that you will enjoy it. Practise. This is of course true for any vehicle, and indeed for any tool – but it matters more when riding an outfit than
On good tar like this, the outfit just buzzes along. / Comprehensive idiot lights augment basic speedo. No tacho.
in many other cases. You need to set up those new reflexes, and bed them in.
Relax. You’d be amazed how strenuous riding an outfit can be if you’re tense and fighting it. The Harley-Davidson WLA outfit I learned on was heavy anyway, and I built up quite respectable shoulder muscles.
So, on to the new Ural cT Model. The geometry of the Ural combinations, and therefore the way they behave on the road, has been sorted out over the decades and is now pretty close to ideal. I had the steering damper on just about its lightest setting and didn’t want more. This is a big help when you’re learning, since you don’t have to fight the bike.
The smaller 18” wheels – the other combinations have 19 inchers - have lowered the centre of gravity slightly but noticeably. The wider track, which makes it easier to ride the bike on outback wheeltrack trails, also helps. The sidecar fittings are solid without being clunky like some of the Indian kits, and almost infinitely adjustable. Do not, however, try adjustments at home unless you really
know what you’re doing. The leading link front forks (on all but one model) are a great help with the handling. In case you’re wondering just how much handling matters on an outfit, here’s a little story:
I built a BMW outfit once (one of several) and had it set up by sidecar racer Peter Campbell in Goulburn. When the late, great Don Wilson, Sydney’s go-to BMW expert who had sampled many outfits, rode it he came back with a musing smile on his face. “I had forgotten how well these things are meant to handle,” he said.
The air-cooled OHV four-stroke horizontally opposed engine has two valves per cylinder and electronic fuel injection. It puts out 31kW at 5500rpm and torque peaks at 4300rpm with 60Nm. Starting is electric and kick and brakes are Brembo on the front of the bike and the sidecar, and HB on the back of the bike. The clutch is dry with double disc, which contributes to the very definite changes of gear; changing up is best done with the heel. There are four forward gears plus one reverse. You don’t know how much fun a reverse gear can be until you’ve tried it! Final drive is by shaft, maximum speed is 115km/h and
the 19 litre tank gives the combination a range of about 260km. Dimensions are (LxWxH) 2580mm x 1700mm – 1100mm, and in case you’re wondering why I’m giving you these when I don’t normally bother, it’s so you can check whether it will fit into your garage.
The cT comes in Terracotta (the bike in the photos), Bondi (yellow) and Gloss Grey and is equipped with a single saddle seat, rear fender rack and a tonneau cover for the sidecar. It costs $20,856 plus on-road costs of about $1150. Optional extras include a sidecar windscreen, luggage rack (both fitted to my outfit), bench seat, spare wheel (which can replace any of the three wheels), a jerry can, sidecar auxiliary power outlet, toolkit and an air pump. I would have the bench seat or get an aftermarket seat; the standard one is a little too far forward for me (at 5’11”), although it can be moved back a little. Ergonomics otherwise are spot on.
Ural importer Jon Taylor was also at the Horizons Unlimited meeting, to which I had ridden the outfit, and that gave me a chance to sample the ride in the sidecar. Suspension is provided by a shock absorber on the wheel and rubber, er, bubble-things between the boat and
its frame. This dual fitting makes the sidecar remarkably comfortable. The seat is relatively spacious, and while I would re-upholster it that’s mainly for looks. The tonneau cover is easy to fit, and the windscreen folds under it when it’s closed, to reduce wind resistance. By now I suspect there is a mixed reaction among you, the readers: either “bugger off, that’s not for me” or “where can I have a go?” Jon conducts lessons at his property in Kentucky, just off the New England Highway near Uralla, where his operation is based. I’d recommend that, if you can make it, but any dealer should be able to teach you the basics. If you’re at all interested in outfit riding, then a Ural is just about your only choice off the showroom floor. Jon also organises sidecar trips, which are highly regarded among his customers. Take a look at www.imz-ural.com.au or call 02 6778 7436 if you would like more information or a brochure.
And of course the key question is a very simple one; is an outfit, and specifically this Ural outfit, fun? I can only say da, tovarich. Da!
The Ural factory buys in many high quality components.
Stuart is wearing a Shoei ADV helmet, Held Carese II jacket, Held Sambia gloves, Draggin jeans and Sidi Vertigo boots
Alesspowerful and rather more basic road-orientated adventure bike from KTM, the 1050 Adventure has been released to tackle the sub $20,000 adventure bike market. There have been some reports accusing it of a lack of power, and that it is too basic to be a proper “adventure” bike. Weird. All I can say is that these people simply can’t have ridden the 1050. Well, possibly they either have rocks in their head and/or their finger stuck up their b utt! The 1050 Adventure has loads of power and is well equipped for a sub 20k bike. So there.
Having ridden plenty of KTMs over the years, all on the high side of performance, I thought it strange that the 1050 Adventure would offer anything less. The engine is a sleeved down version with lighter pistons from the 1190 Adventure, using and a new, heavier crankshaft for improved smoothness.
Low down in the rev range, the power curve of the bike’s 1050cc V-twin is almost identical to that produced by the 1190. However, once you creep past 6000rpm, and where the 1190 surges towards its higher output, the 1050 simply flatlines.
On the road, that translates into an almost diesel-like power delivery with impressive grunt followed by a relatively breathless top end. It’s not a boring engine but there’s very little incentive to explore anywhere near the red line. Short shifting is the key to maintaining pace on the 1050, which makes it a ‘relaxed’ bike to ride, just right for its intended touring purpose.
Even though this is a stripped down version of the 1190, you still get some of the electronics. The ride-by-wire throttle gives you four riding modes: Sport, Street, Rain and Off-Road, all of which have different power deliveries and change how quickly the traction control system kicks in. The traction control feels well integrated and most of the time you only know the system is doing its thing thanks to the bright light that flashes on the dash as the rear tyre silently scrabbles for grip.
With almost identical geometry to the 1190 Adventure, including the same
trellis frame and swingarm, the 1050 has sweet handling for a big adventure style bike. WP suspension is fitted front and rear, and while it is not adjustable at the front it is well damped and easy to manage. In the rear the shock is preload adjustable and well suited for one or two-up touring. We took the 1050 off onto some dirt roads and it handled well and rode in and out of some deep ruts well, too.
Despite the ‘Adventure’ moniker, most 1050s will spend the majority of their life on the road, not least because of the cast rather than spoked wheels. As such, it would have been nice to see a more conventional 120/70 profile tyre fitted to the 19-inch front rim; there’s plenty of grip from the stock Metzeler Tourance rubber but the tall and skinny 110/80 profile tyre at the front begins to feel vague as lean angle increases. I suspect that with a pillion and luggage this would increase due to less weight on the front tyre.
The 1050’s brakes are the same as those found on the 1190 and 1290 models. The lever has a light action and delivers a tonne of feedback from the front end. ABS comes standard although it can be switched off. It has an Off-Road mode that retains ABS function on the front wheel but allows the rear to lock, a feature that’s equally useful for riding off-road and for pulling off a few silly skids if you really have to.
Other standard features on the 1050 include pannier mounts, an adjustable screen, a 23-litre fuel tank, hand guards, a steering damper,
LED daytime running lights and an impressive amount of ground clearance. The two-part digital dash and analogue tacho are exceptionally easy to read at speed and the electronics are easy as pie to adjust, even on the fly.
The hydraulic slipper clutch makes town riding a breeze thanks to the effect it has on the clutch lever – think lightness. As well as stopping rear wheel hop on aggressive downshifts, the unit is built in such a way that softer clutch springs can be used, resulting in the feather-light pull at the lever.
Seat height is set at 850mm, which seems quite high but when you ride it, feels more like 820mm. The handlebar is wide and sits you nice and upright for relaxing long distances. The footpegs come with rubber inserts, but can be removed for a grippier off-road type peg. This also gives you a few more millimetres of seat to peg height –especially good for those of us with long pins!
Accessories are extensive, everything from just about all the touring gear you’ll want to some bling and performance parts. Then you can fit yourself out with KTMs own ‘Powerwear’ – a range of well thought out clothing.
KTM offers the 1050 Adventure at $18,995 + on roads. This puts it at a good price point in the sub twenty grand adventure touring market; you get a lot of bike for what you hand over. And it’s certainly not basic and is a very capable machine for its intended purpose – touring.
SPECS
KTM 1050 ADVENTURE
PRICE: $18,995 (plus on-road charges)
WARRANTY:Two years, unlimited distance
SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 15,000km or 12 months
ENGINE: Liquid-cooled V-twin cylinder, 4-stroke, DOHC, 4 valves per cylinder
BRAKES: Front, twin 320mm discs with radial mount four-piston switchable ABS calipers. Rear, 268mm disc, dual-piston switchable ABS caliper.
FUEL CONSUMPTION: 6.89 litres per 100km, premium unleaded
THEORETICAL RANGE: 333km
COLOURS: Orange
VERDICT: MORE GOODIES THAN YOU MIGHT THINK
So Many Roads, So Little T ime
From below sea level in Death Valley to the highest paved road in North America, from ghost towns and deserts to lush forests with flowing rivers and towering waterfalls, we’ve got something for everyone. Every day, you’ll be on the best motorcycle roads we can find
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Ride from sea level to 2,000 m elevation Rugged coastline, whales and the tallest trees on earth Pacific
Not just Coast! Explore the grandeur of Yosemite, Kings Canyon and Sequoia National Parks too Stur gis Bike Week
Guided Tours • The best "no worr ies" Holiday available! Small groups, relaxed style and great roads every day Includes motorcycle hire, fuel, lodging, many meals, chase vehicle and an experienced staff Self-Guided Tours • Your adventure, built on our exper ience. Road Trip Auto Tours • For non-r iding Family & Fr iends Motor cycle Hir e • Competitive rates, round tr ip or one-way
We put you on the road, so you can make the most of your time! Visit our website for complete information and pricing
A “bucket list” event! Yellowstone, Grand Teton and Rocky Mountain National Parks just happen to be along the way
TEN National Parks and the Pacific Coast make this just about the most fantastic trip you can imagine - on a bike!
We can’t show you all of it, but you’ll see as much of the USA as possible in three weeks This is a Rider’s dream!
Everything that makes Route 66 one of our most popular tours, plus two nights in Las Vegas and one in Death Valley
Blokegoes out to hunt polar bears. He sees one, but when he tries to shoot it his rifle jams. Obviously he can’t outrun the bear, which has seen him, so all he can think of is to kneel down and pray. Suddenly he realises that the bear is also kneeling, right alongside him, and also praying.
“Oh thank God,” he says, “you’re a Christian!”
“Shush,” says the bear. “No talking while I’m saying Grace.”
Yeah, all right, maybe it is kind of a Dad joke. But it got a good laugh when I delivered it to end my little “presentation”, mainly reminiscing about borders-I-have-known, at the 2015 Horizons Unlimited gathering in Boonah, Queensland. Maybe they were just glad to get me off the stage. That was my after-dinner speech on the opening night; when I told it again the next day at my afternoon talk (to a new audience) it got barely a snigger.
“Jeez you’re a tough audience,” I said and they fell about laughing. Go figure. So what is Horizons Unlimited (HU) all about, apart from weird senses of humour? According to its motto, it’s been “Inspiring, informing and connecting travellers since 1997” and that sums it up pretty well.
It is an organisation that runs a website and regular meetings to encourage people to tackle adventure travel. Not just by motorcycle, either, it also encompasses transport like bicycles and 4WDs – although from my limited experience it mostly caters to motorcyclists. This is no simple booster role, either. Both the website and the meetings provide an absolute wealth of knowledge about adventure travel all over the world. You don’t have to be a daredevil RTW (HU speak for Round The World) traveller, either. Some of the advice would be useful for someone going away for the weekend.
Take Shane Kuhl, who gave several presentations throughout the meeting. And I mean that literally – take him! On any trip of any length or difficulty, I would just love to have Shane along. Why? Because he knows how to fix stuff, be it a defective Can-Bus loom or
buggered wheel bearings. And he can teach others how to do these things, too. His presentations alone would have been worth the trip to Boonah.
The founding family of HU is just as interesting. Grant and Susan Johnson decided on their first date that they would ride around the world on a motorcycle, and they still ride their steed to this day: a BMW R 80 G/S. I had one of those, but the furthest I ever rode on it was… what, up into the Flinders? The Johnsons have been everywhere on theirs.
Grant, they reckon, “thrives on adrenaline” but he looks like a pretty quiet bloke to me. Susan, on the other hand, was apparently “a quiet accountant whose hobbies included bridge and reading,” but she constantly simmers with excitement.
“We love travelling”, they say, “and not the kind where you take a two week package tour to somewhere. When we travel, we have no schedules to keep, we don’t make reservations in advance, we stay as long as we want and leave when we decide to go.”
Carpe Diem
The line of tents ran down the hill to a hedge, a road in a dip and a line of trees – and then continued on the other side, running up the hill to its crest. Except that the line on the other side consisted of gravestones.A macabre vision?
Well, maybe. But it made me think of only one thing: carpe diem. Seize the day. Don’t sit on your backside; if you have a dream, chase it.And if that dream involves riding long distances on a motorcycle, chase it with HU’s help.
The people at the gathering ranged from a stunt rider by way of an around-Australia record holder to several mild-mannered office workers.
All kinds of people, including (I’m sure) someone just like you.
SOUTHERN ITALY EXTREME
ROUTE: intermediate
7 to 9 h
★ Naples
★ Matese mountains
★ National Park of Abruzzo
★ Maiella mountains
★ Melfi
★ Matera
★ Alberobello
★ Dolomiti lucane
★ Castelmezzano
★ Cilento Coast
★ Cilento National Park
★ Monticchio lakes
★ Pollino N.P.
★ Lucera
AT A GLANCE
START/FINISH: Naples
NEAREST AIRPORT: Naples
DURATION: 8 days vacation, 6 riding days
ROUTE: Total distance 930 - 1050 miles
(1500 - 1700 km). Daily rides 110 - 175 miles (180 - 280 km). The entire route runs on good asphalt roads, mostly very curvy and narrow.
ACCOMMODATIONS: Beautiful hotels with the special flair of the region.
REST DAY: Matera
NAPLES
Adriatic
Tyrrhenian
Maiella mountains National Park of Abruzzo Matese mountains
Matese
Monticchio Lakes
Cilento Coast
Alberobello
LONG TERM!
WE KNOW THE MEANING OF IT. WE NOW OWN BOTH OF THESE BIKES!
DUCATI SCRAMBLER GET READY!
BARKBUSTERS CARBON GUARDS
Price: $121.95
One of writer/cartoonist James Thurber’s most memorable creations was the Get-Ready Man, who would drive around town exhorting people to get ready because the world was coming to an end. The world is not coming to an end (as far as I know, just yet anyway) but get ready anyway – I have bought the long term Ducati Scrambler from Ducati Australia because I couldn’t imagine being without it (another bike will have to go) and now I’m the Get-Ready Man. Get
ready for a whole bunch of interesting accessories on this bike.
We have already reviewed a lot of Ducati’s own accessories, and I’d just like to go back to one in particular – the panniers with their racks. Some people have complained that they’re different sizes, but of course that’s made necessary by the angle of the exhaust. You wouldn’t want the hot gas cooking your pannier’s contents. It’s also quite handy, because you can use the smaller pannier for heavy stuff, such as tools –the Scrambler’s own toolkit matches an entirely new definition of “basic” – and the larger one for things like work stuff (it will take A4 files) or even wet weather gear. The bags are held firmly in place
but unclip easily, so the large one can become a briefcase. I didn’t keep them because I want to try others.
And that’s the cue for the first of the non-Ducati accessories we’ve fitted. I fitted, in fact, it’s that easy. Barkbusters are an Australian invention which has taken the world by storm, and funnily enough one of their products is called the Storm… spooky, eh?
With easy-to-follow instructions and impressive quality, the Barkbusters are a pleasure to work with. Practically all you need is a single Allen key, and the end result not only looks smart but is in style with the rest of the bike. The handlebars are not significantly wider with them fitted.
I would recommend the Barkbusters to anyone who has an adventure-style bike, and even to a lot of other people. You don’t need to ride the tracks to find them useful. PT
YAMAHA MT-07
WHEELIE BRIGHT!
Standard, our purple Yamaha MT-07 comes with thin, white rim stickers, but I was after something a little brighter to enhance the “red” theme we’re going for with the bike. Luckily enough Yamaha has a set of rim stickers as part of the genuine accessory range. They are available in blue, red, white and yellow. The red version we chose has white details which makes them just that bit more stylish over a plain colour. They are priced at $26.49, but as this is only enough to do one wheel, you’ll need to remember to buy two packets. Applying the stickers took around ten minutes, as I’ve fitted many over the years, now and they “wheelie” do give the MT-07 a sportier look. Visit your local Yamaha dealer or https://yshop.yamaha-motor. com.au/ to purchase. SW
SUPER LUX!
Rizoma ‘LUX’ sports grips
$107.50 (Euro)
Whenever I’m talking to someone about the MT-07 they always comment on the recent addition of the Rizoma grips and how good they look. Then I mention that they should feel how good they are to ride with, and that gets another
reaction, “giz a go”? “Hahahaha” is my usual response. I don’t think Alana would take too kindly to random strangers riding her bike! But I don’t see the harm in asking me –you never know.
The LUX sports grips from Rizoma come in a flashy presentation box (as do all their products) and fitment was simple and fast. The left hand grip was just a matter of taking the standard grip off (which I ended up cutting off), sliding the LUX grip on, getting it in the right spot and doing up the grub screws. I was a little sceptical of the grub screws and wondered whether they’d allow the grip to rotate under hard riding when you’re holding a tight grip, but no, I should have known better than to think that of such a high quality product – it doesn’t move at all.
The throttle was simple to fit also, but took around twenty minutes. Rizoma include a number of different sized throttle ratios, so all you need to do is pick the one that matches the one you’ve got and slide it onto the end of the grip, reinsert the throttle cable, bolt it up and you’re done.
The LUX grips are made from machined billet aluminium with a soft comfort grip where you grip with your thumb and forefinger so riding long distance with these grips is very comfortable. The LUX is available in five colours too – silver (as you see here), black, gold, red and blue. They are well worth the money because you get super style with super comfort. See your local Rizoma dealer or visit www.rizoma.com to view the entire range of amazing products. SW
Email: admin@ darwinmotorcycles.com.au Website: darwin motorcycls.co.au
Hours: Mon - Fri 7am5 pm. Sat 7am - 1pm
HARLEYDAVIDSON SOFTAIL S RANGE
FEED THE MAN MEAT!
WORDS STUART WOODBURY PHOTOS LOU MARTIN
The Harley-Davidson Softail Fatboy and Softail Slim have been around for a number of years (especially the Fatboy), but Harley saw the need to feed the man some meat and has now released both of these models as ‘S’ versions – fitted with the Screamin’ Eagle 110 cube V-twin, which is as sweet as a piece of Black Angus eye fillet, having been grain fed with a marble score of… well, mucho!
Normally fitted to the exclusive H-D CVO range, the 110 cube motor is built to deliver awesome power and a smooth ride at the same time. Counterbalancers dampen the vibration while the big pistons pump out the torque – and there’s lots of it! You also get plenty of power on the low end and plenty to keep you happy on the high end. There’s certainly no mistaking the roots of the
110 engine with its “Screamin’ Eagle” badges adorning each cylinder head. Painted gloss black heads sit atop cylinders with machined cooling fin tips to highlight the muscular shape of the engine and sitting between the big cylinders on the S models you’ll notice a high flow air cleaner cover, filter and back plate. This high flow (Stage 1) filter lets the engine gulp air in massive quantities in order to make equally massive amounts of power and this is what the S models are all about, of course – torque and power!
If you want a ride that rumbles straight out of the box, the S models feed the sound to the world through 2 into 2 exhausts with blacked out pipes and mufflers, and these have to be the loudest pipes I’ve heard on a standard Harley. Unless you want out and out noise, the standard pipes are more than an aural delight.
Matching the torque to this big motor, a six-speed cruise drive transmission provides smooth, quiet shifting and reduces engine speed on the highway (for slightly better fuel consumption), so you get a better match between engine turnover and road speed. It also allows you to pick which way you ride an S model – rev it and use the power or snick it up into a higher gear and let the massive torque carry you along.
Styling for each bike is pretty much as it has been. The Fatboy is very much the “Arnie” machine. I mentioned to a couple of blokes on the launch that all the Fatboy needs is a shotgun pouch and you would be the baddest mother in the land.
The Slim is the one I prefer, except for the seat, but then again maybe I just need to drink a cup of concrete and harden up?
The Slim S’ old-iron soul comes alive right up front. Unique retro-inspired handlebars call back the glory days of 1940s bobbers, while the gloss-black headlamp cover and the “Cat Eye”
Stuart
is wearing an Harley-Davidson Retro open face, Ugly fish sunnies, Segura Retro jacket, Dririder Stealth gloves, Draggin Next Gen jeans and Sidi Way Mega Rain boots.
console with its retro speedo face add even more swing-era swagger. The narrow rear tyre and chopped fender with its integrated stop/turn/tail light add up to a stripped-down profile that evokes the iconic, no-nonsense style of classic bobbers.
On both bikes you get the classic lines of a vintage ‘hardtail’ frame with the horizontal rear shocks hidden in the guts. It’s a signature rigid look, and you’ll only find it on a Softail model. Handling (for me) felt better on the Slim S, with its lighter weight, skinny rear tyre and the handlebar shape making it much more relaxing through the turns.
Braking is adequate on each bike and both have ABS standard. As with all Harley-Davidsons the “Bible” has the most extensive range of accessories
you could ever imagine, and if there’s not enough power for you, Screamin’ Eagle parts can boost it even further. You can almost change the entire bike if you feel the need and have the moolah to do so!
Harley-Davidson has released two of its finest out of the entire range and I see both the Fatboy S and Slim S being huge sellers for the marque. If you want one I suggest you hurry to your H-D dealer to place an order, because once you’ve felt the awesomeness of the 110 cube Screamin’ Eagle muscle, you’ll get delirious and start hallucinating with euphoria! (Settle down, Stu. Oh, is that a shotgun pouch?) Once you calm down , if that’s possible, you just need to decide whether you want a vintage looker or want to be like Arnie.
SPECS
HARLEY-DAVIDSON
SOFTAIL FATBOY S & SLIM S
PRICE: $31,495 (FB), $28,995 (Slim) (ride away)
WARRANTY:Two years, unlimited distance
SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 8000km or 12 months
ENGINE: Air-cooled V-twin cylinder, 4-stroke, twin-cam, 2 valves per cylinder
BRAKES: Front, single disc with fourpiston ABS calipers. Rear, single disc, dual-piston ABS caliper.
FUEL CONSUMPTION: N/A
THEORETICAL RANGE: N/A
COLOURS:Vivid Black, Black Denim (FB).Vivid Black, Olive Gold Denim (Slim)
VERDICT: SCREAMIN’ EAGLE MUSCLE WILL MAKE YOU DELIRIOUS
Shoei Hornet and Neotec
Jetboil
Bahco tools
Bag
PASSING STRANGE
“…’TWAS PASSING STRANGE;’TWAS PITIFUL, ‘TWAS WONDROUS PITIFUL.” AND YET… WILMINGTON TO HAWKER
Shakespeare of course never rode through either Pichi Richi or Horrocks Pass. In fact, there is a puzzling absence of motorcycle references in his otherwise quite commendable plays.
Imagine if Macbeth and Banquo had just roosted the witches on enduro bikes… the play could have had a happy ending with Macbeth and Lady Macbeth going for rides on their Goldwing around the back roads of Glamis, or even Cawdor, and he would have forgotten about being king hereafter.
Unlike Shakespeare, we are going to ride both of these passes today. But let’s take a look at the places we’ll see along the way.
HAWKER
Once a thriving railway settlement, Hawker now appears to be mainly dependent on tourism for the butter on its bread. It has all the services you could want, and at Hawker Motors it even has a local history
museum. Further north, of course, lie the Flinders ranges – the main reason why anyone would be up here.
KANYAKA
The ruins of a sheep station homestead, stables and woolshed are carefully labelled so you can begin to understand what running stock out here was once like. Well worth a stop.
www.hemamaps.com.au
What’sso “passing strange” about this route? Well, I occasionally have European or North American visitors. Sometimes they bring their own bikes, sometimes I arrange transport for them, but universally they want to know where the great Australian bike roads are. And quite often they are keen no riding Horrocks, and if they’ve done their research, Pichi Richi, Pass. I send them on their way with an admonition to remember that Australia is a very old continent, and therefore somewhat… well, flat. But they still come back and look at me with puzzlement i n their eyes.
“Passes?” they say, or words to that effect. “Passes? Those are passes?”
Yes, strange as it may sound they are passes. They might not be the Stelvio or Bear Tooth Pass, but on a continent that has bugger all elevation change to offer, they are definitely passes. And not only that; they are quite different from each other. But let’s start properly at Hawker.
Head south on the B83, called the Flinders Ranges Way before it changes its name to Hawker-Stirling North Road. The scenery is not terribly varied but very pretty in a brutal sort of way –and if that doesn’t make any sense to you, you probably haven’t been in the
Australian Outback. Those two concepts lie quite comfortably next to each other; take a look at an Albert Namatjira painting.
About 10km out of town you’ll pass the turnoff to the left of RM Williams Way. The road continues through that Outback scenery, past various ruins which always remind me of the vital importance of climate to Australia’s rural prosperity.
Further south is Quorn. Don’t be tempted to take the left turn to Wilmington on the B82 here; you will miss both of our passes! Pichi Richi Pass is just out of town and it’s a lot of fun, reminiscent of some of the gentler low passes in New Zealand. You swoop down a bit like the wombat on the fold past The Devils Peak to, eventually, Stirling North. A left turn here puts you onto the Princes Highway, good old Highway Number 1. Before you have a chance to get really annoyed by the heat, dust and truck traffic, it’s time to turn off again. Just as well. The Princes is not an enjoyable road along here.
The turnoff is now to Wilmington, through Horrocks Pass. Unlike Pichi Richi, which offers a substantial change in altitude, Horrocks is more just a narrow road following a creek along the low canyon that it’s cut for itself through
COLLECT THEM ALL
the hills. Despite being narrow, the road is a lot of fun as it twists its way gently upwards. Take care; those rock walls are just as hard as you would expect rock to be… There are places along the way where you can pull off the road for a break, something I really like doing here.
Once you pop out of the eastern end of the pass you will find yourself in gently rolling countryside that will shortly see you in Wilmington. You have the option here of taking the B56 east to Peterborough and then continuing to Broken Hill and eventually Sydney, or heading south on the B82 to Crystal Brook, Clare and Adelaide. Just a note of warning here: there is in fact no crystal brook at Crystal Brook, just as there is no nectar at Nectar Brook back on the Princes Highway, just south of where we turned off. Who came up with these euphonious appellations? Perhaps the same person who named Snowtown, further south, where no, it doesn’t snow.
You’ve just traversed two of Australia’s best-known passes, and if they seemed a bit “passing strange” to you – get used to it. We’re about distances here; we may not have mountains, but we have plenty of those!
GORDON
Another ruin. If you’re wondering why there are so many of them up around here, take a look at “Goyder’s Line” on Google. In 1865, surveyor George Goyder took note of the average rainfall across South Australia and drew this line to establish the limit of crop growing. It was only south of the line, he believed, that crop growing was feasible. Nearly a dozen years of good rain appeared to prove him wrong, and settlement spread well north of the line. Then the normal rainfall patterns re-established themselves and the farms all went belly up. Trust your surveyor.
QUORN
You have no doubt seen Quorn. No, you don’t need to go to South Australia for that; the place has featured in so many Australian movies that it’s
practically a visual cliché. That doesn’t make it any less pretty, though, and it also has all the services you’re likely to want. A terrific place for a photo that demonstrates that you really were in the outback! There is a photogenic railway as well, down through the pass.
STIRLING NORTH
Practically a suburb of Port Augusta, Stirling North has a servo and shop which might come in handy. Otherwise it’s smart but a drivethrough sort of place, unless you want to visit friends or family in Port Augusta Gaol, which is just up the Princes Highway.
WINNINOWIE
Just in case you’re counting on purchasing or indeed stealing
something in Winninowie, just up the Horrocks Pass Road from the Princes Highway, you are likely to be disappointed. Like Oakland in Gertrude Stein’s famous words, whenever you get there, there’s no there there.
WILMINGTON
I once rode the entire length of Wilmington in the middle of the day without seeing a single living soul. Admittedly I didn’t see any dead ones, either, although the thought that a mob of zombies might burst out around the next corner did cross my mind. But no such thing would ever happen in Wilmington, one of the nicest and steadiest of towns anywhere. The word ‘genteel’ comes to mind, in fact. The Wilmington Toy Museum is kind of interesting if you like, er, toys.
Honestly, you can’t take your eyes off him. Send him to Milan to check out the new bikes for 2016, and he comes back with a lot of crappy jokes and photos of scantily clad women! And that’s just to do with the new bikes. No, seriously, he did manage to discover quite a bit of interesting news – news you probably won’t read in any other Australian magazine. But then again, you won’t have to read his jokes in any other Australian magazine either… George Farquhar reckoned the Bear’s Stratagem was “says little, thinks less and does nothing at all.” If only. SW
SWEET SIXTEEN
IT’S SHAPING UP AS A GOOD YEAR FOR THE MOTORCYCLE INDUSTRY – AND FOR RIDERS
WORDS THE BEAR PHOTOS FACTORIES
NEW BIKES FOR 2016 Special Feature
EICMA has its mojo back. The exhibitors who have been sullenly dragging their feet (they know who they are) have pretty much all come good, and joined the enthusiastic renaissance that the Europeans have led. It was fun being in Milan this year, despite the short schedule I had. This augurs well for the year 2016. It seems that many of the manufacturers have come to understand Alexander Lebed’s dictum that “he who doesn’t take risks, doesn’t drink champagne”. Good times coming. And keep in mind that I really don’t have space for everything in this story; a lot of “less new” bikes had to miss out, as did some we aren’t going to see in Australia, like the smart-looking Horex.
While we’re on the subject of looking smart, let me mention the man who
seems to have consulted to just about every major manufacturer in the world, this year: US design guru Roland Sands. This could well have been called the Roland Sands Show.
APRILIA
The goal of the efforts made at Aprilia’s race development centre at Noale when creating the RSV4 was “the same one that has set the RSV4 apart from its birth in 2009: to be the absolute best uncompromising superbike, the one that comes the closest to being a real racing bike in terms of performance and effectiveness,” says Aprilia. The Aprilia RSV4 RR version comes already equipped with all the electronic and technical refi nements that a rider could want (except see below!).
Changes made to the bike for this year start with a fully redesigned front end and triple headlight; the engine offers an additional 16 horses and weighs 2.5kg less, and the list goes on. Aprilia claims that the new RSV4 represents “the most important and profound advancement ever made on this extraordinary model.”
But as always, that’s not all.
The RSV4 R-FW models presented at EICMA, according to Romano Albesiano, Aprilia’s Racing Director, “are, fi rst and foremost, a unique opportunity that Aprilia Racing is making available to those who want to own a real race bike. At the Aprilia Racing Division we worked to pack all the know-how behind the RSV4 into these exceptional bikes.” The bikes make the same technology that was developed for the championship
winning bike, available to anyone who wants to compete in factory derivative championships or who wants an RSV4 with racetrack optimised performance. No, not me, but Stuart is salivating noticeably as I write this…
BENELLI
The eye-catcher on the Benelli stand was defi nitely the Leoncino, one of several new mid-capacity bikes. It’s an historic name for the brand, but the design is all new from CentroStile Benelli. The steel trellis frame, a Benelli trademark, houses an all new powerplant from Pesaro; twin-cylinder four-stroke, liquid-cooled, 500cc made by Benelli.
“This all new engine is smooth and responsive, with maximum power of 35kW at 8500 rpm and maximum torque of 45Nm,” says the Chineseowned company’s PR manager.
“Featuring wet sump lubrication, electronic injection, overhead double camshaft timing system, 4 valves per cylinder, hydraulic clutch and
a 6-speed gearbox, this new Benelli power-plant has all the makings of another legendary Benelli engine.
“The all new Leoncino represents an authentic and pure hearted design concept that rediscovers the style and accessibility of the original, all while delivering a contemporary motorcycle that provides a sporty and exciting experience.” And hey… it’s cute!
BIMOTA
the wonderful BB3, a kit bike which requires you to provide and then strip a BMW S 1000 RR. They’re quite mad, these people. But if I win the lottery, an RC will defi nitely fi nd a place in my garage. In my dreams.
Living up to its reputation for providing something exotic at EICMA, Bimota showed the Tesi Race Café (RC), the Diavel-powered Impeto and
And talking of dreams… here’s some of what the Rimini ragazzi had to say about the show: “The most passionate Bimota enthusiast have
NEW BIKES FOR 2016 Special Feature
been comparing the new Impeto and Tesi 3D-RC to the Michelangelo’s masterpieces.”
And why wouldn’t they. You couldn’t ride any of Michelangelo’s creations comfortably, either…
BMW
“The new BMW G 310 R – the fi rst BMW roadster under 500cc.” begins the BMW explanation of the new Indian-built entry level bike. How soon we forget; have the R25, 26 and 27 been buried by history – or at least by their manufacturer? Dear me; such niggling. I must be a BMW rider…
“One cylinder, low weight, powerful dynamic performance – the BMW G 310 R embodies the pure essence of a BMW roadster,” continues the explanation. “It has neither too little nor too much of anything.” Mm. Okay. Further, the Bavarians promise that the bike “masters a range of disciplines: it is just as happy winding its way nimbly and fl exibly through the narrow streets of a city as it is travelling supremely and powerfully along country roads.” Add promised low fuel consumption and a relaxed, comfortable seating position, “it offers
the welcome capability of being able to cover a long distance at a time.”
Well, I don’t know. Promoting a 313cc bike as a long distance tourer might be stretching it a little. And here lies my problem with the G 310 R. It looks like a nice little bike, it should go all right and BMW has long demonstrated that its engineers can get the best out of manufacturers in Asian countries, so quality should be satisfactory. I’d have one if I was looking for a commuter, depending on price. But let’s not go over the top. And I wonder – will the BMW badge
on a motorcycle mean much a lot to (presumably young) buyers of small bikes? Maybe it will; KTM is certainly not having any trouble moving 390 Dukes in Europe. But now to one of my favourite motorcycles, the F 700 GS and its “bigger” brother (same engine capacity and almost everything else) the 800. They’ve both been freshened up and look terrifi c. BMW reckons the new design is “emotional” (insert your own inappropriate joke here) and there are fi ve possible seat heights for each bike, with four different seats.
Whatever; I can’t wait to ride an F 700 GS in Cuba in February, and I hope it’s one of these new ones. Meanwhile, both of the BMW maxi scooters have been upgraded and look good; I’m keen to ride these in Australia.
And that leaves us with the elephant in the room: BMW’s fi rst alternative version of the R nineT platform. Contrary to some snide comments I have heard, BMW does have a history of building scramblers. The factory cites the 1951 R 68 model, but what about the original R 80 G/S? Can’t get much more scrambler-y than that! With its air/oil cooled 1170cc boxer twin putting out 81kW at 7750rpm and 116Nm at 6000rpm, the new Scrambler has plenty of go despite the 220kg dry weight. The wheels are alloy, true, and the Scrambler is hardly meant for off-road riding, but it should be highly enjoyable on gravel. The long list of accessories means that personalising your Scrambler will not be hard. I’ve already got my Scrambler (of another make) but if I didn’t, I’d be tempted.
CAN-AM
Can-Am is following up the release of its new tough-looking threewheelers by adding two bagger versions called the Spyder F3-T and F3 Limited, along with the F3-S and a limited production run of the impressive-looking triple-black F3-S Special Series. Possibly one for Special Forces?
DUCATI
There is no way that I can do justice to all of Ducati’s news for 2016 in this article, so I’ll just do my best. And as Sam Ewing said, “do your best, and people may like it.” What a pain in the posterior he is.
All right, let’s fi re up with (probably) the biggest news of the show, the Ducati Multistrada 1200 Enduro. It is Ducati’s fi rst serious attempt to share the throne that BMW’s GS models (and various KTMs) have occupied since there was a forward slash between the G and the S. With
NEW BIKES FOR 2016 Special Feature
a far wider brief than any Multistrada or in fact any Ducati before it, this is intended to be a go-anywhere, doanything bike… but without losing the Italian fl air and fl ash. A bit like Marcello Mastroianni, but not married to Catherine Deneuve. That would be too much.
I’ll just quote a bit from the press kit, in abbreviated form: “spoked wheels - 19’’ at the front and 17’’ at the rear / electronic semi-active Sachs suspension (front and rear) / 30-litre fuel tank / range can exceed 450 kilometres / Inertial Measurement Unit (IMU), developed by Bosch / Cornering ABS / Cornering Lights (DCL) / Ducati Traction Control (DTC) / Ducati Wheelie Control (DWC) / semi-active Ducati Skyhook Suspension (DSS) / 200 mm of wheel travel / Vehicle Hold Control (VHC). If you don’t know what a lot of that means, fear not. We are sending Stuart to the Bologna Polytechnic University for an update electronics course before he does a road test. The accessory list is long, and includes four packages sourced from Touratech: Enduro, Touring, Sport and Urban. This time it’s serious, folks. Munich and Mattighofen, look to your laurels.
And speaking of laurels, there is also a Pikes Peak version of the Multistrada, in honour of Ducati’s four-times success in this race to the clouds. Lots of nice bits from the best suppliers here, and a sweet but crisp colour scheme.
On to the sportin’ life. Those of you who buy and ride the sports and other performance Ducatis will no doubt know much more about these bikes than I do already, courtesy of your direct data lines to the factory, but let me detail some of the glory for our more mundane readers (such as myself).
Ducati’s so-called ‘ Supermid’ bike, the 959 Panigale, “shares the same innovative stylistic features that characterise its ‘bigger brother’ [looks like], the 1299 Panigale,” and its engine is the fi rst Superquadro to have gained Euro 4 type approval, which is good news because it means that Borgo Panigale can meet the standard without sacrifi cing the sporting nature of its engines. Of course the bike gets all the fruit, and should be the most accessible of all the hot Ducatis. Mm… maybe I’ll ask Stuart if I can have a ride of our test bike…
Three fi gures will plot the outline of
the 1299 Panigale for you. 144.6Nm, 166.5kg and 205 horsepower. When the factory says that this makes the bike “ a new benchmark standard for very high performance bikes” it is hard to argue. You will read full details here when we get to ride the bike. When Stuart gets to ride the bike.
Then there’s the Panigale R, introduced for 2015, which is the homologated base for its World Superbike machines and is essentially a road-legal race bike with indicators and lights. Just to give you an idea how seriously Ducati takes specifi cations, please note that it is 6kg lighter than the Panigale, 2kg of which is accounted for by the switch to a lithium ion battery.
All the Hypermotards and the Hyperstrada get the Euro 4 approved 937cc Testastretta engine, and much else.
There’s some Scrambling going on, too. The new Flat Track Pro version ”takes on a grittier, racier attitude.” Inspired by the bike ridden in the American AMA Pro Flat Track 2015 Championship by Troy Bayliss and Johnny Lewis, the Flat Track Pro is based on the Scrambler Full Throttle. It has a strange, lemon-y yellow paint
scheme, a side-mounted plate holder, a nose fairing and a short front mudguard.
And then there is the new small Scrambler Sixty2. Intended to be affordable and accessible, it is powered by an air-cooled 399cc desmo engine and built more simply and economically than its big brothers. You will read much more about this bike here, because I think it is possibly even more important than the 803cc bikes!
And lastly to the XDiavel, another move by Borgo Panigale into a part of the market that it has previously avoided. My fi rst reaction, I must admit, was – it’s a V-Rod. An Italian V-Rod. And if Harley-Davidson can’t sell V-Rods (except to very specifi c demographics), what makes Ducati think that it will be able to?
Almost certainly, Ducati’s owner Audi has pushed for this bike. Unlike the new little Scrambler, the XDiavel actually contradicts several given Ducati characteristics. I suspect that Ducati learned from the lack of market acceptance that greeted the
excellent ST bikes (the ST3 was one of my favourites) that it’s much easier to insert a bike into a market niche you’re known for, than one in which you have to make room for yourself. Hence the many different light, fast, sharp-handling and inevitably sporty bikes that wear the red plectrum.
A Ducati cruiser is kind of a contradiction in terms. I would be afraid that the bike would dilute the Ducati charisma. Some excellent if slightly overwrought copywriting has been deployed to counter this: “The XDiavel… brings together two worlds: the Cruiser world - low speeds, relaxed riding, long journeys and feet forward ergonomics - and the Ducati world, characterised by Italian style, refi ned engineering and unparalleled performance.
“The XDiavel ensures the “low speed excitement” typical of a Cruiser and the adrenaline rush of sports riding that Ducati has made its own. That’s what the X in XDiavel stands for: the merging of two apparently separate, distant worlds on one bike, a superb combination where both are
accomplished without compromise.” If such a thing is possible, in Professor Wagstaff’s memorable words from Horse Feathers. But let’s not get carried away. I suspect that the XDiavel will sell well to the same demographic as the V-Rod; and I’m looking forward to riding it so that I can see if that copywriting is, after all, correct…
HARLEY-DAVIDSON
As I write this, Stuart is off riding the powerful new “S” Softails. He’ll report on those (in this issue, I hope). For some reason, we have been kept out of the loop a little on Harley news a bit this year, so we’ll report when we get to ride the other bikes. This Dark Custom thing looks good, I must say.
HONDA
Well, if you thought that the CRF1000 Africa Twin was going to steal the limelight on the Honda stand, were you ever wrong! How about the all-new City Adventure
NEW BIKES FOR 2016 Special Feature
instead? Complementing Honda’s returning icon, the Africa Twin, the City Adventure concept offers “a totally new interpretation of the idea of motorcycling adventure.” That’s not wrong. Admittedly this is not the first “adventure” scooter ever produced. Yamaha had one a few years ago. But that one was clearly a joke; I fear that Honda is serious with this one. “It brings that spirit of adventure to the heart of the city and underlines Honda’s commitment to researching new ways of creating unique technology to enhance and enrich its customers’ lifestyles.” Well, come the zombie apocalypse… But seriously, folks, let’s take a look at the Africa Twin.
“The CRF1000L Africa Twin adds a range of the most modern motorcycle technologies to the original Africa Twin’s combination of all-round performance for touring comfort, commuting agility and genuine off-road capability,” says Honda. “An all-new 998cc new parallel twin engine - mounted in a frame built equally for toughness and fl exibilitydelivers instant response throughout the rev range.”
Sounds good, and I can’t wait to ride one of these bikes to fi nd out just how precisely Honda has hit the target. It will be pretty close, I suspect. There are actually three versions of the bike, and while I can understand the
differentiation between the two top models, I can’t work out why they’re bothering with the bottom end model with its LED head and tail lights. Two further versions will be available: the ABS version which apart from ABS (switchable at the rear wheel for off-road riding), also has LED indicators, multi-mode Honda Selectable Torque Control, knuckle guards and sump guard. Then there’s the Dual Clutch Transmission version which offers Honda’s unique DCT technology with 3 levels of sporty S mode riding, a new G switch for offroad performance, and the ability to adapt shift patterns when ascending and descending hills.
LED daytime running lights.
The Special Edition of the 1290 Super Duke R is in its third year in 2016. The Special Edition adds top quality KTM PowerParts including an Akrapovič titanium silencer, wave brake discs, stiffer triple clamps, adjustable levers and a different seat to optimiise ergonomics for track use. Unique paint and accessories made of orange anodized aluminium or carbon fi bre make for exclusive fi nishing touches.
More than two decades after the very fi rst Duke, KTM launches a new generation, demonstrating that the single cylinder engine is anything but obsolete even in a street bike. The brand new engine puts out 73 hp of maximum power but still offers plenty of smoothness and refi nement thanks to multiple balancers. The modifi ed steering geometry brings even more stability and precision to the agile chassis of the 690 Duke.
The bike is also available as an ‘R’ version for model year 2016, distinguished by an extra couple of horsepower. It features an Akrapovič silencer, a Brembo Monoblock braking caliper and fully adjustable WP suspension that also allows even greater lean angles.
MONDIAL
I’m pretty sure that a name can’t sell a motorcycle, although there have been models – like the Katana or the Ninja – where the “euphonious appellation” as WC Fields would say have helped. Well, here’s a demonstration of the opposite effect. Mondial has named its new 150 and 250cc bike the “Hipster”.
MOTO GUZZI
The Moto Guzzi stand at EICMA was really fun this year. Just about everything I looked at was clever and smart or just well and truly over the top. See if you can pick which one this is. In inimitable style, MG’s head of design in Pasadena, California Miguel Galluzzi (and defi nitely not the Little Old Lady from Pasadena) describes
NEW BIKES FOR 2016 Special Feature
the genesis of one new model thus:
“How do we imagine crossing an entire continent on a Moto Guzzi?
This is the fi rst question we asked ourselves and the immediate response was, on board a California 1400… We dared imagine a different way of travelling, cooler, as the Americans would say. And we imagined that Moto Guzzi would design and build its own bagger. How could that be?”
This is more of a rhetorical question, I think.
“Of course we thought about infi nite spaces,” continues Galluzzi, “with straight roads heading to distant horizons, to speed records snatched on the expanses of salt lakes, to
travelling aimlessly and freely. In this way a indistinct image started to take on a defi nite shape, and thus the MGX-21 Flying Fortress was born.”
The bike, as you can see in the photo, is a weird kind of knockout. The name? Well, I would not be surprised if B-17 Flying Fortresses were among the aircraft that bombed the MG factory during the war – so let’s hope this is not a matter of revenge. For you, the MGX-21 will be a chance to buy a truly outthere bagger, when the bikes become available.
The Moto Guzzi Garage is a knockout. Projects or “reference styles” that you can adopt for your V7
include the sporty Clubber, the “off road” Alce, the rather condescending Lady, the Dark Rider, Scrambler, Legend and Dapper. And of course you can mix and match. I’ve been waiting for quite a few years for someone to come up with a choice like this (I had hopes that Buell’s Blast would do this) and I am delighted that Moto Guzzi has chosen a terrifi c base like the V7.
There are also two new-ish V7 IIs, the Racer and the Stornello. On both you get another gear, ABS and traction control. The Racer is a limited edition, but apart from graphics and some other cosmetic changes it is unchanged. The fi rst
Stornello Scrambler America was introduced in 1967. This one is almost entirely a parts bin special, but it’s one that looks good and that I would expect to be a lot of fun. What does all this mean for you? It means you have an outstanding range of personalised bikes available to you, all of which you can make with parts that you know will fit, will work and will be legal. Not bad.
And that isn’t all. I’ve long had a soft spot for the Nevada, and with the V9 range Moto Guzzi has effectively reintroduced that custom look. The lines of bikes, the Roamer and the all-black Bobber, are just slightly reminiscent of the Nevada (and even have a touch of Triumph Hurricane) and while their engines are bigger than the Nevada’s at 850cc, the bikes clearly fill the same space. The main difference between the two bikes is the colour scheme, but there are some others; I suspect you won’t decide which one to buy until you’ve sat on both and decided which one fits you.
The V9s are very much Americanstyle customs – they even have
pushrods… With their upright riding positions, dare I suggest that these bikes will particularly appeal to ladies? At any rate, I think Moto Guzzi has pinned it this year. Find a shop and check it out.
MV AGUSTA
I know it’s not fair to pick on MV Agusta because they’re not alone, but they have been doing this for years – providing a slip of paper with a website on it, for us unfortunate reptiles to download a press kit. It is much better to give us a DVD or a thumb drive, for several reasons; not least because the MV website is not working from Australia. I’m going to have to go by memory…
Let’s see, there was the Dragster RR LH44, built in association with Formula 1 driver Lewis Hamilton and made mainly of carbon fibre; there was the new Brutale 800; and that was it. And at the launch nobody even said anything, except Mr Hamilton in a video. I wouldn’t care except the bikes are so heartbreakingly beautiful.
PIAGGIO
The most interesting thing directly from Piaggio was the Wi-Bike (pity about the name) which “has an ultraadvanced man-mechanical vehicle interface and guarantees constant data sharing with the world, giving you with the opportunity to interact from any location and with any environment in its physical, social and experience dimension.”
Right! That’s… it. What I’ve always wanted.
Actually, I shouldn’t sling off at this bike. It was quite popular on the stand – and electric bikes and scooters are usually ignored. This is the shape of the future, so we’d better get used to it.
SUZUKI
I have what you might describe as a patchy record when predicting the success of new motorcycle models. Highlight include the Honda CX500 (“who would buy one of those?”), the BMW G 650 GS CrossCountry (“a welcome
NEW BIKES FOR 2016 Special Feature
return to a classic style”) and… the Suzuki SV650 (“why buy a sports bike without power?”). Wrong, wrong, wrong. Well, maybe I’ll do better with the new SV. Take my word for it, this bike looks considerably better in the metal than in photos, and this time I’m sure I’ll be right when I say it will be a winner. After all, I
have been right at times, too. When? Er, let’s see… Never mind. For 2016, the 645cc 90 degree DOHC liquid-cooled V-twin engine has been refined with over 60 redesigned parts and components to deliver strong torque in the low-to-mid rpm range and better fuel economy while still running
smoothly in high rpm. The bike is lighter and slimmer with the lowest seat in class at 785mm high. The narrow, streamlined seat is designed to be nearly flat from front to back, improving vision. The new SV650 also offers the new Low RPM Assist function which raises engine rpm in launching or low rpm riding conditions to help riders to achieve a smoother takeoff and makes low speed riding easier. And now... Yes, Virginia, there will be a new GSX-R 1000 – but not just yet. Suzuki showed an exciting concept at Milan, but that’s all it is for now and it looks like a couple of years before you’ll be riding one. We’ll leave detailed descriptions until they look like hitting the shops. In the meantime, you can buy it as a plastic kit from your local Suzuki dealer (see photo). Oh, all right, I made that up.
TRIUMPH
We told you about the new liquidcooled Bonnevilles recently (and they are simply stunning), but that’s not all from Hinckley. A pair of Speed Triples, the S and the even further upgraded R, and a matching pair of 1200 Explorers made up the display
of new machinery. The Explorer XRX and XCX extend the 1200 range with higher equipment levels to something like the Tiger 800 range.
VESPA
Bloody hell. I’m only a couple of years younger than the Vespa… well, let’s
they’re cosmetic changes only, but this is Italy we’re talking about). The three Settantesimo models have been chosen to represent the full range of Vespa scooters (except, sadly, the Ape) and include the quick Primavera, the portly GTS fl agship and the
indestructible PX. They an exclusive colour scheme based on the new Azzurro 70 colour.
“This unique paintwork enhances and highlights the charm of this truly special edition,” says Piaggio, “thanks in part to a series of personalised touches that include a brand new dark brown saddle, fi nished with contrasting beige piping and thermobonding that depicts the Vespa Settantesimo logo, elegantly placed at the height of the passenger seat. The livery of all the Vespa Settantesimo models is also characterised by a dedicated graphic on the side fairings and an identifi cation plate on the door of the front glove compartment, whereas the wheel rims are elegantly painted with a special non-standard colour.”
All three bikes get a new top box bag, made of the same material and colour coded to match the saddle. The bag mounts on the rear luggage rack which is also standard equipment on the Vespa Settantesimo range.
NEW BIKES FOR 2016 Special Feature
What does this mean to you? Well, a special model always holds its value better than an everyday one, so you will have a chance to make an investment in 2016. Mind you, that colour looks a bit pale. I suppose I will too, when I turn 70. If.
VICTORY
Victory showed the production version of the engine that powered Project 156 up Pikes Peak this past summer, and announced that this engine will power an upcoming 1200cc Victory. The engine, which according to Victory has been designed to deliver the strongest power and performance in its class, was shown both by itself and in a concept motorcycle by European builder Urs Erbacher. Erbacher’s concept – dubbed the “Victory Ignition Concept” was custom built around the fi rst pre-production engine off of the line in Osceola Wisconsin. The concept features an aggressive stance and frames the engine with a cast aluminum chassis, performance suspension
and brakes with a Project 156-inspired paint scheme.
“Project 156 is a purpose built racer that took our engine design to one of the most challenging races on the planet – it was a proving ground like no other that set the bar very high for our team,” says Victory Motorcycles General Manager Rod Krois. “This engine platform will deliver on the promise of modern American muscle that is in the DNA of every current and future product we sell. Victory will continue to aggressively plot a new course for itself and where an American motorcycle brand can go.”
The liquid-cooled four-valve engine has a 60-degree vee angle, utilising double overhead cams.
YAMAHA
If there was any brand which could rival Ducati for new and fascinating models it was Yamaha. The company unveiled the new MT series fl agship model, the MT-10 as well as the compact new MT-03. In the Sport Heritage series, the new XSR900,
which seems to have rung a bell with MOTORCYCLIST readers even before we’ve introduced it in print, brings three-cylinder crossplane-engine performance to what Yamaha calls the ‘Faster Sons’ concept.
“Yamaha’s ‘Faster Sons’ philosophy continues to grow;” says the company, “tipping its hat in respect to the bikes that came before, whilst showing pride in the faster sons of today and tomorrow.”
In celebration of Yamaha’s 60th Anniversary, Sport Heritage models are being produced in Yamaha’s iconic yellow and black speedblock “King Kenny” livery. I had no idea how much I missed that colour scheme until I saw so many bikes painted i n it. Memories of glory days fl ood the mind… not my glory days, needless to say. But before we get onto that, what’s this Ray of Darkness doing here?
“During the past year an aggressive new force has been evolving out of sight in the Dark Side of Japan,” according to Yamaha. “A new kind of dark energy has been harnessed to
NEW BIKES FOR 2016 Special Feature
deliver the ultimate riding emotion. Inspired by the new wave of creative forces coming out of Japan’s biking subcultures - and shaped by muscular and athletic MT family DNA - this dynamic new model represents the ultimate destination for MT riders.”
So, what – no need to call NASA about that Dark Energy?
Actually, Yamaha is talking more about strong, linear torque from the MT-10’s 998cc crossplane
engine and an ultra-short 1400mm wheelbase and aluminium Deltabox frame for lightweight agility. The suspension comes from the R1 and the latest in electronics makes it all work together. The bike even has cruise control, as well as a slipper clutch. Riding position is upright but slightly tipped forward to allow for “comfortable high speed riding”. Obviously there’s more, and we’ll be fi lling you in when we manage to ride an MT-10.
Following up on the recent Sport Heritage Faster Sons (or is it Faster Sons Sport Heritage?) XSR700, the XSR900 reflects a combination of classic retro styling and cutting edge technology, plus a strong race influence. Simple, timeless styling and lots of aluminium instead of plastic added to a riding sensation reminiscent of early two-stroke bikes. And if that’s not enough, there is a whole bunch of ‘Faster Sons’ clothing, and you will have access to “Yard Built” custom parts.
Finally, to the oddball section of Yamaha’s stand. I really like the “Yard Built” bikes, even though the yard is frequently that of a major customiser – in this case, Roland Sands had an entry called the Faster Wasp. The bikes may be over the top, but they show a healthy disregard by Yamaha for its own design limitations and a willingness to boldly go... We will try to do a separate story on this year’s machines.
The most noticeable of the “Concept Bikes”, the 850cc, three cylinder MWT three-wheel leaner, looks like a baby Alien playing with a couple of circular saws. You would not want to come home under the weather if your darling had just bought one, and encounter it in a darkened garage… The Resonator 125, on the other hand, immediately dubbed The Woody by my irreverent group (well, okay, by me) is a bit of steam punk cool with “wooden” panels and bags of style. Can I please have one of these for next year’s Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride?
Oh, by the way, I ran into the DGR’s organiser Mark Hawa on the Rizoma stand. The success of the ride is
staggering and we will defi nitely bring you details of its behind-thescenes workings.
ZERO
Since buying the marque, Polaris has been sorting out the design of the Brammo bikes but Zero is still the benchmark. Following a record year in 2015, the Californiabased manufacturer showed two new models, an innovative new motor design, faster charging and advanced lithium-ion cell chemistry giving the highest battery capacity and effi ciency to date.
“2016 marks our tenth year of pioneering electric motorcycles,” said Zero Motorcycles CEO Richard Walker. “In an industry where sales are pretty fl at and breakthrough innovations hard to fi nd, we continue to experience rapid growth by investing in technology that delivers excitement and a ride experience unmatched by anything.”
For 2016, Zero has two new models - the supermoto-inspired Zero FXS and the adventure
model Zero DSR. Probably most important is that gains in capacity and effi ciency have pushed the “fuel” range up to 315km in the city and 156km on the highway (at 112km/h) with the optional Power Tank accessory.
Zero can give you an idea of what the future will be like, I think, but there’s still a lot of work to be done, especially on batteries.
FOOTNOTE
One of my fellow toilers in the editorial salt mines asked me why I use so many quotes in these kinds of stories. The reasons, of course, like me are simple. If I can give you the words of the people who build the bikes, then you’re more likely to understand what they thought they were doing when they designed a certain bike. Even if, as does happen, they don’t understand themselves. See “Mondial”, above. I suspect that in a survey like this, that’s actually more useful than gibbering on myself. And also it means I don’t have to paraphrase and type all that detail stuff…
VISION ZERO
I SEE… NOTHING WORDS / PHOTOS THE BEAR
Forgetelectric motorcycles. Forget hydrogen power. Forget (wait for it!) compressed air. There will be no need for any power source for the motorcycles of the future, for one very simple reason.
In the future there will be no motorcycles.
If the Swedish-spawned road safety policy Vision Zero keeps up its spread through the world of safetycrats – and it is on the way – then motorcycles will have to go. Utterly. No exceptions, no arguments… no bikes.
Does that sound over the top? Well folks, read it and weep…
“The Vision Zero is the Swedish approach to road safety thinking,” begins the Swedish website. “It can be summarised in one sentence: No loss of life is acceptable. The Vision Zero approach has proven highly successful. It is based on the simple fact that we are human and make mistakes. The road system needs to keep us moving. But it must also be designed to protect us at every turn.”
Sounds good, but it already worries me. A world which is designed to “protect us at every turn” has some unpleasant connotations; here I was thinking that personal responsibility was the important thing. Well, it is – in a free society. But is Vision Zero compatible with freedom?
“Cars are a passion for people all over the world. They are a symbol of freedom and progress. The ability to move is crucial in every aspect of life and certainly ably the reason why the wheel was invented in the first place. Mobility is also one of the most important drivers of economic growth and prosperity. But the relationship between mobility and prosperity is reversible, too…
“The statistics clearly show that economic growth also leads to increased traffic. What happens when traffic increases is well known: congestion, pollution, climate change and, last but not least, death and serious injury. The statistics make truly painful reading.” Ah, okay. What are the statistics? “Every year, more than 1 million
people die in traffic-related accidents around the world. Today, road traffic is the 9th biggest cause of death worldwide. By 2030, the rise in vehicle ownership and use will see road traffic become the 5th largest cause of death, claiming more victims globally than AIDS and tuberculosis…”
This sounds a bit like those futurologists who reckoned, back in the ‘60s and ‘70s, that the Japanese would own everything in the world by the turn of the century. A straight extrapolation like that clearly doesn’t take into account that the per kilometre death and injury toll has been falling dramatically. But…
“We know that road traffic is a deadly and daily threat… Some might argue this is the price we have to pay for mobility and freedom. We think not. There can be no moral justification for the death of one single person. You should be able to move freely - and feel
TAKE IT TO THE STREET
AUSTRALIAN MOTORCYCLIST
MAGAZINE BOMBALA BIKE SHOW
Aweek of biblical rain stopped just long enough for the sun to shine on the 24th Bombala Bike Show. The Gods of Beautiful Bikes were certainly smiling on the new venue, the street behind the Globe Hotel, where the Show ‘n’ Shine bikes were lined up in dry splendour. No-one had to trudge through the quagmire in the past venue, the Bombala Showground,
except perhaps the riders camping on the Showground’s slopes.
It was a good-natured, friendly turnout, and didn’t deserve all those police specially sent from Victoria to quell what they obviously thought would be a bloodbath. The two local bobbies were cool as usual, despite the presence of their combat-clothed buddies – an unprecedented effort, according to the locals.
The direct access from back street to the Globe Hotel through the area past the bandstand was popular. This was where motorcycle equipment vendors and a wide range of food trucks were set up. And this year, visitors could partake of full strength beer without having to remove any jackets perceived as giving offence!
Everyone we spoke to had a great time and there were more than enough prizes to go around. We would particularly like to thank Shannons and their Regional Development Officer Paul Jenner for their participation, and Bruce Collins Enterprises for the set of Shinko tyres awarded to the People’s Choice winner. Cassons and Motorcycle
Accessories Supermarket donated a fistful of vouchers for quality products including Dainese, Gaerne, RJays, ScalaRider, TM Luggage and Scorpion Exhausts. The local businesses also donated cash and services.
As usual, the standard of bikes exhibited was very high, but there were plenty of bikes in the car park that might well have won a prize had their riders entered them. Keep that in mind for next year.
The Bombala Bike Club Committee worked hard, as usual. Its main driving force, the unstoppable Sam Dyer, clocked up so many steps that his pedometer carked it at 35,000! And thanks also to Grantley Ingram, who wore out his voice on the microphone. It was a smaller, but perfectly formed show this year. But next year’s 25th Anniversary bash is already in the planning stages. Watch this space!
Clockwise from left: Terri samples the goods from OzTrikes. / Is this trike a winner or not! Indeed it is. / Trophies were not only in our name but also our colours! / Plenty of women riders attended this year.
PRODUCT TESTING FROM THE ROAD
THE POSSUM GETS TYRED – AND MORE
WORDS
/ PHOTOS THE POSSUM
Prior to a recent trip to the wilds of Queensland, our friends at Avon Tyres helped us out with a couple of sets of tyres.
My BMW F 800 GSA usually runs on dual sport tyres and I have been very happy with that style of rubber. As this trip was going to be all on sealed roads I took the opportunity to try the Avon RoadRiders and was well pleased with the feedback and wear rate of the tyres. Going from a dual sport to these tyres was like swapping a sharp axe for a scalpel. There was a noticeable difference in the feedback and directness of the tyres – more of both. The 5,500 km trip was on a variety of road surfaces and included some quite heavy rain, and the Avons always felt planted and never caused any concern. The wear pattern was good and there was no obvious flat area on the centreline of the rear tyre.
Following on from the QLD trip, I then launched for the SA/WA Border for the 39th Border Run. This saw another 5,500 km added to the tyres and again they performed very well. This time we had a small section of hard packed gravel and the Avons provided all the necessary traction without unsettling this rider. This trip saw quite a lot of rain and again the Avons provided plenty of feel and grip.
After a bit over 11,000 km’s of mainly highway running, there is something of a flat patch on the centreline. In an effort to provide a balanced test on these tyres I have been punting the bike up and down the Old Road to explore the performance on corners and find these tyres to be very direct and can report that I am seriously considering another set when I finally wear these out.
Here’s a pair of Rossi boots we crashed earlier…
Based on wear rates to date, I expect at least 15,000km from the rear and much more from the front. The RoadRider tyres are aimed at the mid-range capacity bikes and I was surprised there was a 21 inch tyre available for the front of my 800 GSA. Highly Recommended following a real world test.
Also on test during the Queensland leg were Avon Storm ST Ultra tyres. These were fitted to a Honda Deauville and a Honda ST1100. Both riders of these machines reported they were very happy with the performance of the tyres in the variety of conditions we encountered.
The Deauville has no obvious flat area on the centreline after 5,500km and Glenda is very happy with the tyres. Ken suffered a nail in the rear tyre at 3,000km and had to replace it with another brand as that was all we could get when so far from home, but at that time the tyre still looked new and held the promise of a lot of kms before replacement time.
Both riders Highly Recommend the AVON Storm ST Ultra tyres.
Avon RoadRider tyre at 3000km. / Avon RoadRider tyre at 11,500km. / Avon Storm on Honda at 3000km.
POSSUM ON BOOTS
The nice folk at Rossi Boots recently provided pairs of their 811 model boots for use on our Queensland trip.
Rossi Boots are made in Australia; therefore the manufacturers are aware that Aussies have broad feet from not wearing shoes as kids. This in reflected in the fact that Rossi boots fit comfortably and you can actually walk distances in their motorcycle boots.
The 811 model shares the sole of the Rossi elastic sided boot favoured by tradies and farmers.
The latest model is more water resistant than previous models and was tested in a tropical Queensland downpour in the vicinity of Tully, North Queensland, Australia’s wettest town. At the end of 300km of rain, my socks were damp. I think this was due to water running down my leg into the top of the boots due to my not so waterproof riding pants. Dry socks were used the next day and after a day’s riding they came out still dry.
I have a pair of Rossi boots I bought years ago (I estimate in excess of 100,000km of all-weather riding) and they still polish up nicely, so I confidently expect to have these boots for a long time.
When No.2 son took up riding, we bought him a pair of 811s and he has
successfully crash tested them without injury to his lower legs.
Keep jobs local, buy local and get a comfortable water resistant boot at a pretty reasonable price.
Highly Recommended.
POSSUM HAS DRY FEET
MotoCentric boot covers have been part of my wet weather kit for some time and after 1000s of km in all sorts of rain I can report that they work, and work well.
The covers slip over your boots, zip up at the side and with your waterproof trousers down over them you have a recipe for dry feet. Available from Moto Centric or motorcyclegear.com.au . Highly Recommended.
POSSUM SEES THE LIGHT
Not so long ago a set of XenonOz driving Lights arrived at the editorial cave, and were passed to me for appraisal. They are Krista - High Power LED Lights, manufactured by Clearwater Lights and priced at RRP $1,099.00.
Amazingly, these lights can produce up to 180 watts of Halogen light while only using 36 watts of power. A total of three
12 watt LEDs is used in each of the lights. The housings are made from solid aluminium billet in the USA and are hard anodised and then powder coated for corrosion protection. Using aircraft grade, silver plated wire with Teflon insulation, these lights are made to last. Tough acrylic lens covers are easily replaceable and optional amber lenses are available.
The instructions in the box claim these
Rossi boots’ faster red zipper! / Boot handover; the Possum is the one with the mo. Wait…
MotoCentric boot covers do the job.
lights are plug and play, and if you have any skill at auto electrical fitting you may be confident enough to fit them yourself. I have no ability in this field, and a CAN BUS wiring harness on the bike, so I took the lights to my mechanic who did a wonderful job with the installation.
The light system comes with a “brightness control” which allows you to vary the intensity of the light and use them as daytime running lights for increased visibility. Full intensity is not available off the brightness control, this only kicks in when you hit high beam –and doesn’t that light up things!
At the recent Border Run, I spent some time looking at the machines used by the crazies who are members of the FarRiders. Clearwater lights were festooned all over quite a few of these long range raiders. A pair of large lamps aimed straight down the road with a pair of smaller lamps angled off to the shoulders was a common fitout.
High beam on my bike is rubbish, but now I can see more of what I need to see and have a chance to avoid it. Yes, these things are pricey, but if they save you from one impact because you could identify and avoid, then they have paid for themselves.
If you are a FarRider, or just a normal person who rides at night, you need to consider a lighting upgrade and these things do an excellent job.
Highly Recommended.
Clearwater light installed on the GSA. / Clearwater lights on high beam… / …and on low beam.
THE BEST GETS BETTER
NEW DRAGGINS FIRE UP
SAME NAME, NEXT-GEN
Next-Gen Draggin jeans (Men)
Price - $299
Ihave worn Draggin Jeans for at least the past ten years and it has been great to see the constant improvements made to the products, as well as the company getting recognition for its achievements in safety for riders. I have had my current pair of the Next-Gen version for the last three years and have loved them for the comfort they give, but when I was offered a new pair of Next-
Gen jeans I couldn’t pass them up –mostly to see the difference three years has made to the jeans that share the name.
Firstly, the colour of the blue jeans has changed with very ‘now’ faded areas on the front and rear, rather than the entire dark blue of the pair I’ve been wearing. You can get them in black if you like, also. However the main thing I love
about the Next-Gen jeans is that there’s no external stitching, so they look like a normal pair of jeans and can be worn as that if you wish. The next thing I like is that they breathe quite well. A lot of riding jeans are way too hot to wear in the summer months, but the Next-Gen are as comfortable as you can get with the high level of protection built in, and the mesh sports comfort liner helps to
Mustang makes seats for the Scrambler. Keep the retro look but advance to 21st century riding comfort!
Mustang’s seat for the 2015 Ducati Scrambler positions your body for the best posture while keeping you back from the tank and seated rmly “into” the motorcycle. The classic tuck-and-roll stitching and detailed seam lines accentuate the classic 1970’s look while Mustang’s baseplate design and proprietary foam provide modern, state-of-the-art comfort.
Classic tuck-and-roll stitching and detailed seam
make the Next-Gen a comfortable pair of jeans year round. You can get hip and knee armour, with the pockets included in the jeans, but I’m not a big fan of wearing armour in jeans.
So how has the Next-Gen changed from the pair that I have worn previously? The main thing I’ve noticed is that they are lighter, making them much more like a normal pair of casual type jeans. And let’s face it, this is what you want from a pair of jeans while riding the bike, aside from the protection aspect.
As you may have noticed, just about every time we name what I’m wearing during a bike test, you’ll see that I’m wearing Draggins – they are the best and I like that. SW
SUPER SEXY
Draggin Slix (Women)
Price - $289
While Draggin were sending up my Next-Gen jeans, they also gave Alana a pair of the super sexy Slix. The Slix are a pair of riding jeans that have a leather look to them, or perhaps the waxed cotton or shiny denim type of jean that is very fashionable at the moment. The Slix are also a very slim and firm fitting pair of jeans, so as Alana found out it is recommended you go up one size –don’t bother looking at your normal size, go for one up and you should be on the money. The leg cut is skinny, but the denim stretches nicely to go over your riding boots and boy do they look damn hot, so much so I love it when Alana wears the Slix as a normal pair of jeans. The description Draggin should give these jeans is, “Sexed up and ready to ride”. So ladies, make your man melt and grab a pair of Draggin Slix, and blokes, let me give you a hot tip (just don’t tell anyone), pair your lady with a pair of the Slix and tell her you’re just looking out for her “safety”, which of course you are doing every time you wear a pair of Draggin Jeans! SW
» Weighs only 570g
» Inflate a low or flat tyre quickly and safely
» Ideal for use on motorcycles, ATV’s and scooters
» M ade in the USA from billet 6061 aluminium
» Lightweight. No reaming. No glue.
» Store spare plugs in the end cap
MINI JUMP STARTER
Don’t let yourself be stranded with a flat battery!
This little lithium jump starter is pocket-sized, light, packs a real punch and will easily tuck into a tank bag, top box or pannier.
Our mini jump starter comes with a recharging plug suitable for both BMW (merit) sockets and normal car type accessory sockets. Comes in a compact bag with all accessories including USB port and cable so you can recharge your phone, ipad or GPS.
The EC5 adapter can be connected to the Jump Starter and then to the Pocket Pump so there is no need to attach the Pocket Pump to the battery terminal if you have the Jump Starter!
CUT-PRICE CLOTHES
Torque brand gear
We were reminiscing the other day and the subject of shopping for bike gear came up. We had all begun buying our clothing and safety equipment from disposal stores, with occasional visits to motorcycle specialists Omodeis in Sydney or Modak in Melbourne when we were flush. With very few exceptions, the disposal stores are gone; I particularly mourn Stoliar Brothers in George Street in Sydney, where I not only bought my first full-face helmet but also a muchloved duffel coat.
I guess disposal stores declined and fell because of the growth of speciality stores. The kind of gear they sold – for motorcycling, camping and so – is now supplied by shops that concentrate on one market, and push branded items rather than the often generic goods from the disposal stores.
Mike looks the part in his Torque jacket. Er, ignore the footwear…
And while we’re on the subject of branded items…
There’s a good chance you’ve shopped at Aldi, and almost as good a chance that you know about Aldi’s motorcycle clothing and its low price. But do you know if it’s any good? Because like the rest of Aldi’s goods, the bike gear is home brand. You won’t get Alpine Star, RJays, Shoei or DriRider gear here. Aldi’s home brand is “Torque”, and that’s all there is.
Most of the time there isn’t even that, because bike gear is only available as limited time Special Buys, sold until it runs out.
We got hold of a few pieces from the surprisingly wide range – there are nearly 20 different products ranging from helmets to gloves. Mike Stuart kindly assessed the Aldi Buffalo hide
Torque gloves are quite well finished and comfortable.
leather jacket for us.
“After a few weeks of using the Aldi Torque Men’s Leather Motorcycle Jacket priced at $149,” writes Mike, “I must admit I am impressed. As with most leather jackets, it has taken a little while to lose that new leather stiffness, but now that it has I am finding it quite comfortable. The jacket feels solid, and provides a high degree of protection, with the solid buffalo leather and the CE certified back and elbow protectors all staying in place as they should. With the liner it has proven warm enough and comfortable in the Sydney winter (under 5 degrees many mornings). The style of the jacket is not overstated and works well with either work wear or casual weekend riding gear. Overall, a good leather jacket at a reasonable price point.”
Clothing is also claimed to meet European safety standards. Some of the rest of us mucked around with other gear including gloves, and came to much the same conclusion as Mike. I’ve been using the $29.99 bike cover and am finding it convenient and strong. Would we recommend Aldi’s Torque products, then?
We would certainly not advise against them. The trouble with the gear, as with so many generic goods, is that there is no range of individual items; you get what’s there. A certain panache is missing, too. Likewise, you can’t be sure that the thoroughness with which branded goods are designed and made (the owner of a known brand must protect it) is equalled. But generally (and generically) speaking, it’s worth keeping an eye on your local Aldi store or checking https://www.aldi.com.au/ en/special-buys/ occasionally – and there is a 60 day refund policy if you’re not happy.
We never got that from the disposal store! PT
FIVE PUNTS
A RIDE WITH COFFEE BREAKS FROM THE BEAR. NO, ACTUALLY SEVERAL COFFEE BREAKS LIGHTLY CONNECTED BY A RIDE. AND PUNTS. FIVE OF THEM
WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR
The Ulysses Club’s Old No. 1 was far from a sedate rider. Stephen Dearnley enjoyed hooking it with a lot of enthusiasm, so when he invited me to share his “Five Punts” Ride one Sunday I was only too happy to accept. He has been gone for more than a dozen years now, but his legacy remains – and not only the Ulysses, Moto Guzzi and Heron clubs but also some outstanding innovations in Australian book publishing. And, in my mind at least, the Five Punts ride.
It took me a little while to figure out the difference between a punt and a ferry, but it seems to me that a ferry is what a punt does, while a punt is what a ferry is. Got that? Not all ferries are punts, and not all punts are ferries; Sydney has six crossings served by vessels that are both, and this ride takes in all but one of them. If you want to show off you can add the sixth, at Mortlake crossing the Parramatta River (or the Harbour, depending on where you think the harbour ends). Or begins, I guess. These naval matters are difficult, and I’m glad I’m a motorcycle writer, not a boat writer. Especially not a punt writer. So let’s stick with Stephen’s five punts, and start our ride in Hornsby. If you’re in a hurry you can take the M1 north, but if you’ve got plenty of time you can… well, still take the M1. The Pacific Highway through the northern suburbs is nothing to write home about, and Hornsby highway patrol is notorious for the attention it pays to motorcyclists. Leave the freeway at the Berowra exit, where that rather lovely high concrete bridge crosses the M1, and continue north to the railway station. Turn left here and follow the Berowra Waters signs along Berowra Waters Road. Do they make it easy for you or what?
The stretch of pavement that awaits you when you leave the houses behind is
almost worth doing this trip, all by itself. The surface is not brilliant and it is quite narrow, but the many varied corners make it a lot of fun. If you’re going to sightsee, stop first and then look! Some of the corners are a bit technical, and traffic coming up may well be on your side of the road.
Once at the bottom, you have the choice of having a cup of coffee or even tea at the little café on the right (it may be difficult to find parking, truly), or rolling straight onto the ferry. Punt.
Once across Berowra Creek, try to be the first off the ferry so you don’t get stuck behind a car. Generally the ferrymaster will wave motorcycles off first anyway. Up the hill on the western side here is not as much fun as down the eastern side but it’s a lot faster. At the top you’re in prosperous farming country, and there is now some traffic entering and leaving the road – often in the form of horse floats. It’s funny, back in the Old Country horses used to mean poverty. The farmer couldn’t afford one of the new-fangled tractors. Here they mean wealth…
Follow Bay Road as it becomes Arcadia Road – watch that right-angle lefthander at the Benedictine monastery. Turn right into Wyldes Road, signposted to Wisemans Ferry and Glenorie. If you’re hanging out for coffee or a snack, continue to Galston where the plant nursery dead ahead has good tucker, and join the Old Northern Road from there instead. Once you reach the T intersection at Old Northern Road, turn north and then take Cattai Ridge Road, signposted to Maraylya, to the left. This is another road through money but it’s quite pleasant and generally well surfaced traversing farmland and a bit of bush. But before you get to the bush you will come to a split in the road. Cattai Ridge Road continues to the left, while
Halcrows Road, signposted to Riverside Oaks, is on the right. You will need to make a decision here. Take Halcrows Road and you will get to Wisemans Ferry Road, where you can turn right and then left into Sackville Ferry Road and cross the river. You can then return to the city side of the Hawkesbury by way of Lower Portland ferry, and follow the river on a partly tarred and partly (good) gravel road to the Webbs Creek Ferry. Take that, ride up to St Albans and after refreshments at the Settlers Arms return to the Wisemans Ferry ferry ferry (aargh) by way of another partly tarred and partly gravel road.
Cho e your weapon
I did this run on a Suzuki DR650, a single cylinder enduro-style bike. It was a good choice because it was light and manoeuvrable, and a pleasure to throw around the tar and gravel road corners of the ride. If you were going to spend more than a day at a time on one, I would recommend that you invest in an AirHawk or an aftermarket seat; even after one day you’ll be feeling the hard seat. Otherwise, though, the bike is a thorough pleasure and the engine and drivetrain have been around so long that they are pretty well bulletproof. Fuel range is good from the 13 litre tank and best of all the bike only costs $8090 plus on-roads.
I was also testing the RJays Touring Saddlebags, and you’ll read more about them in a future Used & Reviewed column. Suffice it to say that they held up very well, and seem to represent remarkable value at only $79.95.
Your Five Punts Ride, by Stephen’s favoured route, is done.
Alternatively – and this is the way I prefer because it allows me to ride the Bicentenary Road – continue on Cattai Ridge Road. It becomes Pitt Town Dural Road, and shortly afterwards there is a turnoff to the left on Scheyville Road. Just down from here is where my Mother and I spent a few weeks in a migrant camp when we came to Australia (it’s now a National Park, but possibly not because I stayed there all those years ago). Take Scheyville Road and turn left into Pitt Town Road when it ends at a T intersection. This takes you to McGraths Hill, where you turn right and ride through Windsor and our usual stopover, the café across the road from the pub. Continue over Windsor Bridge. The road now becomes Wilberforce Road; follow it into Wilberforce and turn right into King Road in the middle of town. This becomes Sackville Road and takes you to the ferry.
But it’s worth turning off to the right down Tizzana Road and visiting Australia’s oldest church at Ebenezer. What, I hear you exclaim, has he suddenly got religion? No, not really. The little schoolhouse attached to the church does nice Devonshire Teas. Well, when I say nice… the coffee is instant and pretty weak, and I suspect the scones of being reheated, but the cream is fresh and the jam is home-made. At least I think so. And the little old ladies who run the place are sweet. Or is it that the little old ladies are home-made and the jam is sweet? Whichever.
The coffee is considerably better at Tractor 828, a trendy café just before the ferry. The atmosphere is okay here, too; but for some reason I keep thinking they should have called it Traktor…
After crossing the river, follow Sackville Ferry Road to the River Road turnoff on the left. There are some wonderful views of the river from the high bluffs. This road, by roundabout ways, will take you
Clockwise from left: Berowra ferry looks almost romantic. / Tractor at tractor 828 / Down to Berowra Waters. / Morning tea (coffee) at church.
to the Lower Portland Ferry; possibly even without name changes. In fact I’m pretty sure it would take you all the way to Wisemans Ferry without changing its name, but that isn’t the way we’re going. We are taking the ferry and turning right over a quite grandiose-looking bridge which crosses the Colo River and then leads to bugger all except Greens Road, which stays tar for a while and then becomes pretty good gravel. It passes the Juniors on Hawkesbury Resort and then, after following the river for another bit, wiggles its way up onto the plateau with a couple of tricky corners (worse coming down) where it meets Wheelbarrow Ridge Track.
These two now become Bicentenary Road, still gravel and a lot of fun to ride. When you finally come down the hill to rejoin the river, it runs into Chaseling Road which takes you to the Webbs Creek Ferry. It’s just a short ride through the little township of Wisemans Ferry and past its iconic pub before you’re at the last of our punts –Wisemans Ferry.
Once across, turn right and head back home by way of the hugely enjoyable Wisemans Ferry Road which will take you to Central Mangrove where you turn right for Peats Ridge – and you probably know the way home from here. Just keep heading south, on the freeway or the Old Road. Should you feel peckish along the way there are four good and motorcycle friendly cafés – the Wombat at Gunderman, the servo/café at Spencer, the Corrugated Café at Peats Ridge and the Old Road Café at Mt White. Actually, add Pie in the Sky once you’re back over the Hawkesbury (by bridge this time) and at the top of the hill.
Please don’t think that I am proposing some kind of Café Crawl, a caffeinated version of a pub crawl. But isn’t it nice to know that you can get a coffee just about anywhere you want one along this ride. Stephen, by the way, always carried a thermos for his coffee…
Clockwise from left: No shortage of punt humour… / Route debate on Lower Portland Ferry. / River Road above the river.
THREE FOR THE PRICE OF ONE
AND THEY’RE ALL WINNERS
WORDS/PHOTOS COLIN WHELAN
F
orty five clicks south of Toowoomba slap in the middle of the beautiful Darling Downs and well off the New England Hwy, you’ll fi nd Clifton, a town of just 1100 people but three pubs.
Competition is fierce between them, and looking for an edge, Vanessa from O’Shanleys Irish Pub emailed me back in July suggesting I drop by to check out what they’re doing to keep the kegs flowing and riders arriving.
It took until last month for me to make it and when I front up to the bar unannounced and not introduced, I’m welcomed by
Fletch who tells me Vanessa no longer works there.
I’d just come down from Nobby where I’d dropped into Rudd’s Pub which had just won the QHA best bush pub accommodation award and I was tuned in to the kind of reception country pubs give out.
I was the first customer of the morning at Nobby and apart from asking what I wanted the bloke behind the bar wasn’t the slightest bit interested in making me feel at home or cared about my day so far. I took the lemon lime and bitters and retreated to a table away from the barrier.
Three couples wandered in separately as I revived and not a single bit of interest was shown in any of them. He was very happy to recite the awards won and the pub’s various claims, but there was no conversation, it was all more a lecture. There was service but there was certainly no welcome.
(This place won the award despite having only three rooms, all with the same bed configuration and with a base rate of 105 bucks a night, no discount for singles…..Hell even the Licensing Act of 1882 required pubs to have at least four guest rooms!)
So anyway back at Clifton, Fletch pours me a drink and as he serves
O’Shanley’s Irish Pub
50 Clark St, Clifton Qld T 07 4697 3288
Rated 5 Helmets
Value 140
Unique Character 6/10
Yangan
Hotel Motel
13 King St,Yangan Qld T: 07 4664 8213
Rated 4 Helmets
Value 112
Unique Character 4/10
other folks I get some pictures and then head back to the bar for a chat and an explanation of why I’m there.
Fletch’s Irish wife passed away last year after a long illness and Vanessa, an old friend, had come to help out while they were back in Ireland getting treatment. She had to leave suddenly, leaving Fletch on his own. He now runs the place with a couple of backpackers and some locals, with a qualified chef turning out lunch and dinner 7 days a week and on Sundays you’ll get 10 buck pizzas and 4 buck pints.
Accommodation is half a dozen rooms upstairs, one with 3 bunks, a
Deepwater Inn
Nth end of town, NEH
Deepwater NSW T: 02 6734 5111
Rated: 5 Helmets
Value 170
Unique Character 7/10 (and rising)
couple of doubles, two single rooms and one with a double and a single bed. On your own, it’ll cost 50 bucks, a pair will pay 40 each while the bunk rooms run at 30 per head.
There’s free swagging and camping on the grass out the back, Fletch’ll even run some power out there if you need it, plus you get free use of the showers and toilets, all based on the understanding you’ll spend your saved accommodation money at the bar.
Fletch reckons all bikers and most GNs play fair.
This is apparently the second safest locale in Queensland but if you still want to lock up your ride, there’s
And the award goes to…
At the Queensland Hotels’ Association Annual Awards Dinner in September, the top gong, Hotelier of the Year, went to Helen Rush of the Stockman Hotel in Texas. Helen (pictured) and her pub are well known to readers of this column and to most riders in northern NSW/ SEQ as being the most motorcyclist friendly pub in the country. In her acceptance speech, and subsequent media interviews, Helen made strong
plenty of room in a shed out back. Fletch gets over explaining all this to me and then from under the bar he pulls out his bike, rider and helmet cleaning kit. Now this is catering for riders. This is the sort of thing that goes beyond ‘motorcycle friendly’ and pushes a pub into the 5 helmet category.
Turns out Vanessa had to head back to her own pub down at Yangan when the couple who were managing it for her disappeared off the planet one night. “She’s really trying to turn it around,” says Fletch, “it’d be worth a visit.”
Can’t think of anything else I need to do so I pull out my map, plug “Yangan” into the Garmin, thank Fletch for what he’s doing for riders and head south.
Yangan’s just on 60km south of Clifton and I head there on the back road via Hendon through yet more pristine Downs which CSG is doing its best to infect, and when I get there the flies are dying of heatstroke.
You know those pubs which, when you see the first time as you round a
mention of the pivotal role that attracting motorcycle riders to not just her pub, but to her town as a whole, was in her strategy to revitalise the Stockman and Texas. Her lead is being followed in other pubs and this month we’ve got three publicans who don’t just mouth the platitudes and welcome riders’ money, but who are actively seeking our business through catering to our needs and dangling juicy incentives.
corner and they are standing proud and beautiful and you go, WOW? This isn’t one of them.
It’s squat, wide and unattractive. If it was a teenage girl, it’d be described by friends and family as having “a lovely personality.”
Inside and out of the heat, a knuckle of locals occupies their home base at the end of the bar while an Irish backpacker slowly serves.
Vanessa tells me she was responsible for obtaining the cleaning kit up in Clifton and that she’s done the same here. She’s also adopted the policy of free fi rst drinks for all riders booking in for the night.
The only other place I know that has both policies in place is the Stockman at Texas and it’s no surprise when Vanessa tells me that Helen Rush, the publican at the Stockman, was her teacher at school and is now advising her on attracting riders to her pub (see sidebar).
There’s only four motel rooms here but plans are afoot to transport some old shearers’ quarters in to expand the accommodation as well as opening
up a field at the back for camping and swags. The current rooms are all doubles and cost $80 a night but if you’re on a bike and on your own, Vanessa’s open to a bit of haggling.
The restaurant’s open for lunch and dinner Wednesday to Sunday and there’s pool and a damn good fire for the colder months. This is a pub that doesn’t just want riders, it’s prepared to work for and deserve our support. Surrounded as it is by some great riding roads, if you’re in the area, you’d be dumb to not take the Warwick to Killarney back road and stop in at Yangan.
A couple of hundred kilometres south of Yangan is another story of vision, hardship, dreams and redemption.
Two years ago, Andrew and Lynn were based in Sydney and their daughter was having an overdue baby in Warwick, giving the couple countless trips along the NEH. They became interested in a house in Deepwater and, stopping to check it out one evening they spied a camping ground across the road. A granny was sitting knitting in what were ruins of a pub which had burnt down two years prior. While chatting with her, she told them the burnt carcass was for sale.
Long story short, they flicked the house and bought the pub shell. And it was cheap. Interested buyers were sparse as the Council had put a caveat on this listed building that saw any new owners pay $1500 per day they owned the place until a conforming roof was in place. Any debt would be waived once a conforming roof was completed.
Well, the roof’s on and Andrew and Lynn are breathing more easily. After a year operating “The Phoenix Pub” out of a shed out the back, the bar is nearly done and ten accommodation rooms are finished. The thick rock walls provide amazing temperature and sound insulation: the trucks rumble through all night on the NEH and the night was hot but my room was quiet and cool…reminded me of my cave in Coober Pedy!
All up there’re ten rooms: seven twins, two doubles and a family with a queen and bunks. I paid 40 bucks for
my room, if I’d shared with a mate it’d have been $55 for the two of us. There were good hooks for my gear and an electric blanket and fan. I didn’t need any of this as the windows can be opened and are all screened.
Plenty of free camping out the back in the area which has been pisstakingly named, “The Hamptons”, but campers are charged for use of showers ($4) and the washing and drying machines.
So after parking the bike undercover next to my room (I could’ve locked it in a stable or the shed) and slipping into something more comfortable, I head back to talk to this tree change couple of non-drinking, non-smoking vegetarians who own a pub and a steak joint.
The bar is pretty much finished, the pokies sold to raise some development money. They won’t be coming back but there is a well stocked jukebox, quality pool table and an outdoor nonsmoking area.
The separate dining room doubles as a café open from 7am each morning so you can get a hot breakfast although the pig part of my bacon and egg roll was about the stingiest I’ve ever had and the bun was hard and inhospitable.
There’s only 324 people Deepwater and there’re two pubs so Andrew and Lynn have also come up with a deal for riders in groups of six or more. For $39 each you get not just bed and breakfast but also dinner (from a slightly restricted menu) thrown in too. You’d go a ways to top that! Like the Yangan, the Deepwater is a work in progress and with the expansive dreams of the owners, it’ll be like that for a fair while yet. In the meantime, it’s a pub that’s comfortable and welcoming, with owners who appreciate riders and our needs and the value of our custom. Check it out next time you’re on the NEH.
Full disclosure: Contrary to usual industry practice, I was not offered nor did I seek any discount or special deal whilst staying at any establishment mentioned in this review.
COME TO NEPAL
Good news, says John Cayless from Asian Experience Motor Bike Tours: Nepal is open for business and encouraging tourists to return. The devastating earthquake occurred in April which was at the end of the tourist season. This has allowed time to repair the tourist infrastructure (hotels, roads & bridges ) in preparation for the next tourist season from Sept to April.
“I am often asked which is our most popular tour,” he adds. “My reply is that they’re all good but depends on what you’re looking for. If you’re after an adventurous ride, try our Himalayan tours (Nepal, Tibet, India & Bhutan )
BE THE EARLY BIRD
MotoQuest is offering a free bike upgrade if you book for their 2016 Prudhoe Bay by January 1st.
“That’s right!” says their note here. “Register for our June 17-26, 2016 Prudhoe Bay Adventure with a deposit by January 1st and receive
or if you’re after a relaxing holiday and a great ride, try our Vietnam & Bali tours.
“Our tours are not only designed to take in all the highlights but also to provide a relaxing ride with good bikes, accommodation and support infrastructure to make the tour run smoothly ( mechanics, support vehicles, local guides ). We stress that it’s not a race and encourage riders to ride at their own pace and to stop for photos, interact with the locals and to take in the varied sights that these countries offer.
“Since starting Asian Experience 26 years ago there’s been a big improvement in road conditions and tourist facilities. I remember my first ride across the “Roof of the World” in Tibet on the worst road imaginable and staying in shepherds
a complimentary upgrade to a Suzuki DL650 V-Strom, BMW F 700 GS or BMW F 800 GS. As always bikes are subject to availability and are first come first serve, so if you want to secure your free bike upgrade for this trip, book soon!
“This is truly a “cross it off the list” type of ride for any motorcyclist! Something that becomes immediately clear is that Alaska is huge! You’ll very quickly gain a new
huts; now the road is completely sealed with good quality hotels and restaurants! All of our tour routes have seen similar improvements which means that riders of all abilities can now come along.
“Most of our clients are repeat customers but there’s also been a big increase in the number of women riders, women’s groups, couples and motorcycle clubs.
“Hope you can come long for a great riding experience.”
For tour information: www.asianexperience.com.au, email tours@asianexperience.com.au, phone 0409230252 or 03 59892512.
perspective as you realise that you are a very small person in a very expansive landscape. You will also very likely encounter some of the native wildlife, like moose, caribou or bears.
“Along the way you will get to eat, drink and stay in some uniquely Alaskan establishments. But as fun as the stops are along the way, the real purpose of this ride is to traverse the state of
One of John’s groups at the Everest base camp.
Alaska and reach the northern shores at Prudhoe Bay. That means a lot of highway miles.”
And just in case you thought this was a trip for softies…
“Warning: This is not a normal motorcycle ride,” says MotoQuest. “This is an adventure. This ride is not for wimps. This tour requires elements of endurance and stamina. Riders must be able to ride in adverse weather conditions and adverse road conditions. These roads are some of the roughest and most remote in the world. Riders must be physically fit, mentally strong, and able to cope with adversity. The accommodations on this trip range from luxurious to disappointing. Be ready for a true adventure!”
MotoQuest’s mailing address is MotoQuest, 4346 Spenard Rd, Anchorage, AK 99517 but you’ll want to take a very quick look at www.motoquest. com and then get that booking away to info@motoquest.com. In case you’re after a “normal motorcycle ride”, MotoQuest also has a lot of those. Check the website.
That’s the world-famous (or infamous) Dalton Highway, Alaska’s, er, finest! / The Arctic Circle is a must-reach target for many riders.
GO FOR SAN FRANCISCO
Now that Qantas has resumed flights to San Francisco (a much more congenial airport than LA), I thought it was time to give my mate Wolfgang another plug. His Dubbelju Motorcycle Rentals at 689A Bryant St. San Francisco California, 94107 is open Monday to Saturday from 9am-6pm, and is surely one of the most pleasant and helpful places anywhere to rent a bike. Wolfgang will throw in a map and suggest roads you might like to try and places where you might like to stay. Mind you, as Wolfgang says: “Almost anyone can rent you a motorcycle and hand you a map. We as one of the pioneers in the U.S. motorcycle rental industry have the experience and knowledge to maximize the value of your vacation-time. As motorcyclists ourselves, we know your needs, we know the area, and we have ridden the roads we recommend. We’ll get you rolling in the right direction and make sure that you return home with only the best of memories.”
That must be right, I got it off his website…
And now he offers both an R nine T BMW and a Ducati Scrambler in his varied and interesting fleet. You can call Dubbelju on 1.866.495.2774 or check out his website. You’ll find something there that you like, I’ll bet you.
The Golden gate bridge is always photogenic – if you can see it.
HIT THE HEIGHTS
Zenith is the latest motorcycle tour company to fire up in Australia. Its founder, Scott Chapman, has done more than a little bit of bike racing in his time, including Superbikes. Then he did a bike tour through India and the Himalaya.
“I loved it,” he says. “I thought there couldn’t be a better way to make a living than to show people different countries and cultures on two wheels. I then did another tour last year through Iceland, and now I have just returned from my trip around Italy doing recon for my own tours.”
Scott has not been mucking around. He is offering fully catered tours through Italy including Sardinia and Corsica (and a special Italian Moto GP tour) and an adventure tour through India and the majestic Himalaya.
The Italian tours will run for 16 days with dates from April to September and Scott will take a maximum of 10 bikes; they can be single riders or riders with pillions. “But I will keep the numbers to a maximum of 10,” he says, “so it’s more intimate and we can do things together in a smaller group. The tour starts in Venice and goes through some gorgeous Italian Tuscan countryside. We also do a visit to the Ducati and Ferrari factories and I am also going to incorporate the Italian Moto GP in one of the tours. We then head to Sardinia and Corsica.
Sardinia has some of the best roads in Europe with fast and slow corners and great smooth roads. In Corsica we again enjoy amazing roads and scenery before heading back to Italy and the end of the tour in Venice. We ride on BMWs and have a choice of about 3 or 4 models.
“The India tour is very different. Equally as exciting and amazing but I would say more adventurous. The roads are more dangerous, traffic is crazy, roads are often not tarmac and we ride on the classic Royal Enfield 500 Bullet. The Himalaya are amazing and we ride the highest road as well as one of the most dangerous roads in the world. Definitely need to be an experienced rider for this one. It goes for 21 days and starts and finishes in Delhi. We will be running them in July and August for 2016, and again will take around 10 bikes on each tour.”
Good luck to Scott Chapman and Zenith Tours! Call him on 0405 197 182 for further details or bookings.
On tour in Italy. / Lunch on the road in Italy is special, to put it mildly.
BIKE TOWN
VISITING
TOKYO?
Theheavily built-up area between JR Ueno Station and the adjacent district Showa Dori is even shown on maps as “Bike Town”. It has a bewildering number of motorcycle dealers, repair shops and accessory stores all jammed into buildings with vanishingly small footprints. Some of them have floors which are no larger than the average Australian bedroom, and some of the bigger businesses like Corin are spread over several buildings. Corin’s accessory shop has seven floors which are filled to bursting with clothing, helmets, luggage, tools and just about everything else to make a biker’s heart sing. A lot of it is weirdly cute, as well – think of an outlaw patch club devoted to Hello Kitty … Interesting as places like Corin may be, it’s the many small garages and shops that provide the real fascination of Bike Town. “The mom-and-pop operations… have been around for decades,” writes American bike journo Steve Trautlein. “Some do business out of storefronts the size of tiny apartments, with rows of bikes and scooters out front that occupy more space than their officescum-showrooms.”
TAKE SOME TIME OUT FROM THE CITY AND VISIT A TOWN – BIKE TOWN, THAT IS
Trautlein talked to some of the Bike Town characters to get an idea of the area’s history.
“Bike Town got its start in the years after World War II,” he writes, “when motorcycle wholesalers came from cities to the north and west and set up shop in what was then the central Tokyo hub of Ueno. ‘Bike Town is located here because of all the trains that came into Ueno station,’ says a mechanic named Miwa who was repairing bikes while waiting for customers in Sanwa Motors, another cubby-hole-sized dealer and repair shop on the strip. Leading postwar engine maker Kyokuto Motor Company opened a retail outlet that spurred the area’s growth and, as more shops followed, Bike Town became the city’s best-known purveyor of cheap transport. Today, this quarter of Ueno is associated with motorcycles in much the same way Akihabara is with electronics...”
Following up on Trautlein’s story, I wandered around Bike Town one afternoon in summer. One thing you can’t miss is the number of signs prohibiting photography. I managed to take advantage of one salesman’s English, learnt at night school and far better than my almost non-
Yes, you’re quite right. This is a Honda 250. Or was, anyway. / Bike Town is not usually this quiet. I think it was lunchtime. / Check out the range of helmets. Leopard skin liners, anyone? / The skull is a biker symbol that transcends borders. Why, I wonder?
existent Japanese, learnt in low dives, for an explanation.
“It is so you don’t have pictures of the prices,” he said. “Price is very important to sell things, so you don’t want everyone else to know yours. There are now shops in the suburbs and they compete with us on price.” He didn’t have an answer when I asked him why the signs are in English, so I suspect that there is another reason – but apart from the possibility of having the stock copied I can’t think what it might be. The window displays are definitely not going to be copied, they are extremely basic.
It’s interesting that two of the most popular brands in Bike Town are not Japanese. They are HarleyDavidson and Vespa…
So if you’re in Tokyo with a few hours to spare, wander up to Bike Town from Ueno Station. You will be staggered by the range and variety of stuff that’s available and you will not have any trouble finding someone who speaks English. Bike Town is in Ueno 7-chome, near the Iriya exit (JR line) or exit 2 (Hibiya and Ginza lines) of Ueno station. PT
LET THE RECORDS FALL
Thismonth we head to South Australia and the region where records fall – Lake Gairdner. Most of the year this is a huge inland lake, but when it dries out the salt hardens, creating a fairly flat surface ideal for attempts at the world speed records. But pretty much any time of year you choose to go, the area has some amazing sights.
PORT AUGUSTA
The major town for this route; base yourself here where you can get all supplies. Port is a seaport and railway junction city located on the east coast of the Spencer Gulf immediately south of the gulf’s head and about 322 kilometres north of Adelaide.
LINCOLN GAP
Use this point as a reference for the right turn to head for Corunna.
CORUNNA
Another point of reference, however Corunna is a working sheep station if you’re wondering as you ride past.
MOUNT IVE
An ancient landscape of spectacular scenery, historical land marks and solitude. Mt Ive is a family owned sheep station in the heart of the Gawler Ranges. Enjoy the scenic views and historical sites, or keep on riding. Oh! And remember to fill up with fuel here!
LAKE GAIRDNER NATIONAL PARK
Lake Gairdner is a large endorheic salt lake. When in flood, the lake is considered the third largest salt lake in Australia. “Speed Week” is held in the hotter months (obviously) so have a look at the Dry Lake Racers website for event details - www.dlra.org.au
The “National Park” side of the things has camping available if you want to see the amazing sunrise and sunsets across the huge lake.
KINGOONYA
Your reference to turn right to head for Glendambo and your reference to fill up with fuel if you need it. Kingoonya was established in the early 1900s as a railway support town on the line extending west and played a significant role in the construction of the Trans-Australian Railway. The township is reputed to have the widest main street in Australia – well worth taking a piccie.
GLENDAMBO
Glendambo has a population around 77 (depending on who you talk to). There is a roadhouse/motel/hotel/pub and an Outback ‘Resort’. Fuel and some supplies are available.
465KM - PORT AUGUSTA TO GLENDAMBO. OPTION
ROUTE - 205KM
Head west out of Port Augusta on the Eyre Highway and follow around 26km, take the “Iron Knob, Ceduna” Eyre Highway right turn and follow that for around about 48km until you get to the right turn of Kingoonya-Iron Knob road. Follow this road for quite some time and if you feel the need to stop and rest, you’ll need to take the turnoff and head into Mt Ive Station, as it’s not on the main track. From this turn, six kilometres up the track you need to veer/turn left at what is sort of a triangle type intersection, however, if you wanted to take the optional route you need to continue to your left once you’ve ridden another 12km along this track. But let’s continue with the main route. Once you’ve made your veer left this next stretch takes you past Lake Gairdner in all its enormousness, all the way up to Kingoonya. Once you get up to Kingoonya, turn right onto Tarcoola Road and head across to Glendambo.
OPTIONAL ROUTE
If you take the optional route you will miss the wonders of Lake Gairdner, but you will see the wonders of the Gawler Ranges National Park. For me, I would see Lake Gairdner, but it’s always good to have an alternative route.
FUEL – MOUNT IVE, KINGOONYA, GLENDAMBO
The maximum between fuel stops on the main route is 232km – Mount Ive to Kingoonya.
ROAD CONDITIONS
This particular track can be quite deep with bulldust, so when it rains, it’s mush. Checking the road conditions is paramount. Visit www. dpti.sa.gov.au/OutbackRoads/ outback_road_conditions/area_2_ gawler_ranges to get the latest information.
EXPERIENCE PURE NIRVANA
RIDE THE LAND OF PARADISE
Join the next Trip of a Lifetime with MOTORCYCLIST and Paradise Motorcycle Tours NZ. Our 2016 Hiamo South Island tour will run from 26 Jan to 6 Feb 2016 – 11 days of glorious roads and scenery that will knock your socks off. Everyone who came on the 2015 Hiamo Tour was stunned at the amazing sights and even more amazing roads. For 2016 we have more riding, more scenery – Kaikoura, Hanmer Springs Thermal Resort, Lewis Pass and Buller Gorge Road - more of the wild West Coast and a free day to explore the Otago Peninsula.
So from the front or back of your nearnew rental bike (the most up to date fleet in NZ) you’ll experience even more of the South Island, and this time we go anti-clockwise!
Another guide has been added, too. With the high demand for this tour, Paradise Motorcycle Tours is adding a second motorcycle guide, which means
there can be two groups, each with a guide, to maximize your safety and enjoyment.
More options are another benefit of having two guides. You can take a shorter route on some days to relax and explore the final day’s destination, or enjoy a longer route for maximum riding time and sights from the saddle.
I really look forward to seeing you there, if you want the best time of your life and want to experience the highest state of happiness that you could attain, remember to book as early as possible, because this will be a very popular tour. SW
Booking:
Contact Paradise Motorcycle Tours onPh: +64 9473 9404, email info@paradisemotorcycletours.co.nz or visit the website www.paradisemotorcycletours.co.nz
Here is a quick rundown of the tour:
Day one - Christchurch to Hanmer Springs (via Kaikoura)
Day two – Hanmer Springs to Punakaiki
Day three – Punakaiki to Franz Josef: Choose from two ride options today.
Day four – Franz Josef to Queenstown
Day five – Free day to explore Queenstown
Day six – Queenstown to Te Anau: Choose from two riding options today.
Day seven – Milford Sound: with a two hour cruise on the Sound.
Day eight – Te Anau to Dunedin
Day nine – Free day to explore Dunedin
Day ten – Dunedin to Tekapo
Day eleven – Tekapo to Christchurch
BAND A BAND B BAND C Bike/s up to 800cc Bike/s over 800cc Bike/s over 1200cc
KIA ORA KIWI PRICING
Early Arrival Option **Highly Recommended**
Be rested and ready for the tour of a lifetime with the addition of an early arrival option.
Remember that this guided tour is fully supported by the Paradise staff in their van and the professionalism is top class, to make sure that you’ll have the best time possible!
The cost – Please Note: All tour prices are PER PERSON in New Zealand dollars inclusive of GST and you have the choice of two variations.The Deluxe tour covers petrol and most breakfasts and dinners and a higher level of accommodation. If you choose the Kia Ora tour, you buy your own petrol and all meals (other than the welcome and farewell dinners)
EVER ONWARD WITH LESTER
SINGING THE PRAISES OF A BITZA WORDS LESTER MORRIS
Ever heard of a motorcycle called the ‘Ever Onward’? Chances are you never have, and chances are you never will again, for it was an exceedingly strange machine which I rode during a trip to Melbourne in 1981. It was one of eight Classic motorcycles I rode at the time, with most of the road test reports published in Two Wheels magazine. My in-depth report of the Ever Onward was published in Classic Motorcycles.
It was a very smart, if odd-looking machine, finished in a nice two-tone blue with soft cream tank panels, the name ‘Ever Onward’ emblazoned upon the sides of its slim fuel tank.
As it happens, the brand name didn’t exist anywhere except upon the bike’s tank, for it was, in fact, a one-off ‘Bitza’, made from bitza this and bitza that. The frame and wheels belonged to a 1924 Norton, the brakes were from a Royal Enfield with its standard, hand-change, three-speed Sturmey-Archer gearbox, while some of the tin-ware and sundry items came from Douglas, BSA and one or two others.
Nothing new about that, you may safely muse, but the major difference between this and many other Bitzas was the engine, which was totally different from almost every other engine which powered two- and four-wheelers, no matter where – or when - they might have been built.
The engine was a 500cc four-stroke, but it employed no valve gear; neither overhead valves, side-valves (the norm in the twenties), nor overhead camshaft(s). The passage of the incoming and outgoing gases was carefully controlled by a series of holes cut into the cylinder walls.
And no, as we have already noted, it was not a two-stroke engine.
It was instead the distinctly odd Barr
and Stroud single-sleeve-valve powerplant, a highly-efficient, if comparatively rare design which was supplied from the small Glasgow factory complete with carburettor and magneto. All it then needed to build an entirely viable motorcycle was for a small factory to add a gearbox of some type – usually, in those days, Sturmey-Archer - a frame, running gear and tin-ware; in fact in much the same manner as this one-off Ever Onward was created.
The Barr and Stroud engine was sold in the twenties – in fairly small quantities - like the proprietary engines supplied by JAP, Anzani, Blackburn, MAG, Villiers and other manufacturers who didn’t build complete motorcycles, but whose power-plants were fitted to many machines which were built by smaller factories in England and elsewhere. Though the names of the motorcycles are little known today, 350cc and 500cc B&S sleeve-valve engines were fitted to Beardmore-Precision, Omega, Zenith, Rex-Acme, Royal Scott and GrindlayPeerless motorcycles in the twenties, the time in which most of the sleeve-valve engines were built.
The factory also manufactured a very few Vee-twin 1000cc B&S engines, two of which were fitted to Brough Superior motorcycles, while it was said that several of the Vee-twins were fitted to Grindlay-Peerless machines. There is one of the Vee-twin B&S Grindlays still in existence which has been beautifully restored and is now on display in Sammy Miller’s Motorcycle Museum in Southern England.
But the early model, 500cc singlecylinder engine which is fitted into the 1924 Norton frame of the Ever Onward is an odd-looking device, for it employs the usual, if very lightly-finned, cast-iron cylinder barrel, but it appears to have a
non-detachable head. It also looks like a two-stroke, because of the absence of any form of valve mechanism. As we have noted, this is because, unlike every other four-stroke engine on the planet, the inlet and exhaust ports have no poppet valves in them to get in the way of the various passages of gases.
Although it looks to be in one piece with the barrel, the cylinder head is actually detachable and is locked to it by six bolts. It protrudes some distance into the cylinder, where it is sealed at its base by a pair of thick seals like pistonrings which bear against the cylinder walls to prevent any by-pass leakage of burning gas.
Because of the total absence of valves in the cylinder head – in particular a red-hot exhaust valve which can cause pre-ignition - the combustion chamber allows for quite a high compression ratio and is an ideal ‘squish’ combustion chamber, the spark plug placed ideally in the very centre of the casting. This, combined with the long-dwell in the port timings, results in very effective ‘swirl’ of incoming gas accounting for more efficient combustion and more effective thermal efficiency, which is why there is such very light cylinder finning. There is a small compression-relief in the cylinder head, which is there to make kick-starting easier.
Later B&S engines had the cylinder barrel cast in three pieces, the barrel’s cast-in ports closed by two separate, semi-circular bolted-on castings which cover them: one of the castings fitted with a carburettor stub and carburettor, the other an exhaust stub.
How then does the thing work, if there are no valves or valve gear to allow the ingress of the highly-combustible inlet charge and the egress of the burnt gas
after combustion has occurred? It is almost absurdly simple, and yet as I say, highly effective.
The ‘working’ cylinder is a thin, very, very carefully-machined steel sleeve in which the piston pursues its path, and it is a very close ( around .004-.006”) ‘sliding’ fit inside the bore of the finned cylinder barrel, the barrel having its inlet and exhaust ports carefully cast in place, with bolted-on inlet and exhaust stubs. The crankshaft is supported upon large roller bearings on both timing and drive sides, while the half-time pinion attached to the timing side of the crankshaft drives a much larger drop-forged ‘secondary’ gear, which has had an off-centre hole bored into it, the secondary gear driving the magneto through a set of gears.
Thus, due to the rotation of that secondary gear, the hole naturally moves through an eccentric orbit. A thick spigot fits tightly into the hole, the ‘gimbal’ (as it is called) formed as part of the thick base of the moving cylindrical sleeve in which the piston travels. Clearly, the action of that gear as it revolves causes the sleeve to describe a reciprocating and rotating action as it moves. This action allows a series of heart-shaped holes which are machined into the moving sleeve to open and close at very carefully-timed intervals in relation to the inlet and exhaust ports which are cast into the cylinder barrel directly opposite each other. To achieve this, the sleeve moves up and down but also rotates nearly ninety degrees through its prescribed orbit.
Although the sleeve’s holes align with ports in the barrel they have no relationship to the moving piston, nor does the piston have any effect on the opening of the ports, unlike a two-stroke engine. An advantage of the number of small holes near the top of the sleeve is that their combined area is very large. The ports are thus timed to open fully with no obstruction by ‘intruding’ valve heads and they can remain open for
longer periods of time than is possible with poppet valve engines. Because of this, the volumetric efficiency of the ‘simple’ sleevevalve engine can be superior to the volumetric efficiency of even the very best, and most powerful, poppet valve engines.
There are clear and serious disadvantages to the normal four-stroke poppet-valve engine which powers almost everything on two wheels,. It doesn’t matter how many poppet valves are employed, nor how they are operated, the valves themselves actually get in their own way.
Because of their positon directly above the piston, poppet valves cannot be opened very far and cannot stay open for very long, and when they are open they obstruct most of the area of the ports simply because of their own shape and positon, and the shape of their attendant valve stems and valve guides. They are also slower to open fully than sleevevalve engines, and there is a measurable power loss by exerting pressure on heavy valve springs, with frictional losses engendered by the very complex cams, valve gear and attendant components as well.
It has been said that the main problem with sleeve-valve engines was heavy oil consumption, which was evident when the Ever Onward disappeared in a heavy white cloud of burnt oil as it was fired up. But it has also been said that oil consumption was no more than that
experienced with many machines of its era, because the Pilgrim oil pump which many of them adopted in those days had no scavenger return and was thus of the ‘total-loss’ system, the oil piddling out onto the roadway after it had circulated throughout the engine. A similar totalloss lubricating system was employed very effectively in Speedway JAP engines.
The sleeve valve was well lubricated by oil which was splash-fed to its skirt, the reciprocating-and-rotating action assuring that the device received adequate lubrication, even in view of its very close tolerances within the outer barrel. This was of course assisted by the fact that cast-iron is self-lubricating to some degree: it’s even more so if there is additional lubricant to hand. The bigend and main bearings were also well lubricated by splash- feed.
It has also been said that the loss of oil had been successfully addressed in later developments to the engine, but it remained a problem with the Ever Onward, at least until it had settled itself down after warming up. Then the clouds of oil smoke seemed to disappear, but an
eye had to be kept on the contents of the oil tank. The B&S piston employed only two compression rings, while a piston with at least one oil ring –or preferably two, as in some German motorcycle engines - might have made an enormous difference to the oil problem.
So how did the machine feel, and how did it perform when compared to others engines of similar capacity?
The most obvious difference was the total lack of any engine noise from the B&S unit because, save for the gentle swish of the timing gears and sleeve there was not a sound to be heard from inside the donk. It ran very smoothly, while the exhaust, which was routed through a tiny jam-pot muffler and long tail-pipe, was also eerily silent. Even with a pall of smoke initially trailing behind me, the engine surprised by its extremely wide power-band, pulling smoothly and accelerating well from next to nothing in top gear to a top speed I could not fully explore. It was not an easy bike to ride at first,
because the throttle was controlled by a lawnmower-like lever instead of a twist-grip. This made the right-hand gear-change a bit odd as well, although the other control levers were normal. The large drum brakes were light in operation, and were surprisingly powerful, while the rigid frame and short-travel, un-damped front suspension took some time to become used to.
Unhappily, the brilliantly-conceived B&S single-cylinder motorcycle engine was never fully exploited, probably because the Scottish factory was more into the manufacture of binoculars, range-finders, surveyors’ instruments and submarine periscopes, but similar sleeve-valve designs, some with two sleeves, were used in many other applications over many years, since the first of its type appeared back in 1906.
Sir Harry Ricardo, the brilliant engineer/ mathematician who was responsible for the new-fangled octane rating of fuel (among a great many other things) and who designed the
four-valve Triumph 500cc single in 1921, was a strong advocate of the sleeve-valve engine, extolling its many virtues in his seminal writings on the design. He was instrumental in the adoption of the sleeve-valve engine in aircraft during WW2, claiming (rightly) that this type of engine could produce far more power than could any poppet-valve engine of similar capacity.
Sleeve-valve engines were used for a time in some early Daimler, Mercedes, Panhard, Willys-Knight, Minerva and Peugeot cars in the twenties, while the multi-cylinder Napier ‘Centaurus’ sleeve-valve engine was the most powerful engine fitted to any propellerdriven aircraft in WW2. When it was fully developed for aircraft use, the latest 24-cylinder supercharged singlesleeve-valve Napier ‘Sabre’ aircraft engine developed an amazing 5,500bhp (4400kW) at just on 4200rpm in bench testing, with over 4,000 (safe) bhp in normal service.
The Napier was only one of a great many aircraft to employ sleeve-valve
engines at the time; one of them, the Bristol ‘Beaufighter’, employed a 14 cylinder Bristol ‘Hercules’ sleeve-valve engine. It was nick-named ‘Whispering Death’ because of its eerily quiet, unsilenced exhaust. Historical records show that some 130,000 sleeve-valved engines for a variety of makes were built for WW2 aircraft, before the jet engine arrived.
So now that odd sleeve-valve engine has gone to God, eh?
Well, not quite, because the late British engineer Mike Hewland and his team, famous for their work with gearboxes for Lotus and other racing cars, developed a reliable, high-compression, single-sleeve 500cc engine in around 1974 which returned an astonishing 74bhp (54kW) in a dyno test!
To keep that enormous figure in perspective, it should be noted that the most successful 500cc single-cylinder racing motorcycle engine of all time was the DOHC Manx Norton, the best of which returned just on 52bhp. It’s been claimed that one of the great Norton
tuners, Tom Arter, once had an engine which (briefly) showed 56bhp on a dyno, but that figure was never seen again, and is under some cloud.
But it still cannot compare with the staggering 74bhp – some 40% more than the Norton engine - which the single cylinder 500cc Hewland sleevevalve engine delivered, and it was said to use less oil on test than the normal poppet valve engine. I wonder how the big-end withstood the enormous stresses!
No doubt the latest materials, modern manufacturing processes and far better lubricants were used during the new engine’s development; perhaps the metal-bonding dry lubricant, Molybdenum Disulfide, if added to the oil, would have been ideal in helping to lubricate the moving sleeve as well.
Briggs and Stratton, the makers of many millions of small industrial engines, have been experimenting with small, single-sleeve-valve engines recently, but found that the ingress of dirt into prototype lawnmowers caused
the sleeves to seize, destroying the engines. They clearly have a long way to go yet: if they decide to go anywhere, that is!
But perhaps the most remarkable thing about the single-sleeve-valve engine is that not one of the major Japanese motorcycle manufacturers has ever shown the slightest interest in it. Rest assured, the Japanese were very well aware of the simple design of this interesting engine, for there were many Japanese sleeve-valve aircraft engines during WW2, so there must be a good reason why they never pursued this design in smaller engines, much less spent any time developing it.
However, an answer could well be that, like the Wankel rotary engine, there are very few moving parts in a sleeve-valve design, which could mean very little profit for the Spare Parts Department in a major dealership, and not much profit in servicing the engine, either. A cynical thought? Perhaps, but that point could easily be made, nonetheless. In fact, it has just been made!
SHORT ADELAIDE TOURS ON NEW BENELLIS
Don’t have much time? We lead one-day or shorter tours on some of the best roads in the Barossa Valley, Adelaide Hills and Fleurieu Peninsula. Hire exciting BN600R Benellis. Visit www.radtours.com.au and click on the TOUR LOCATIONS button.
WHAT SAY YOU?
WE
LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU, the letters are among the most keenly read parts of the magazine. Please try and keep letters down to no more than 300 words. Then you can read many, not just a couple. We do reserve the right to cut them and, unless you identify yourself and at least your town or suburb and state, we will print your email address instead. Please address letters to thebear@ausmotorcyclist.com.au or Australian Motorcyclist Magazine, PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111. All opinions published here are those of the writers and we do not vouch for their accuracy or even their sanity!
WHO CAN HAZ BAGZ?
It’s longstanding contributor Peter Colwell, whose luck has turned and bitten him on the, er, the bag. While a Shoulda Bagz will certainly not hold what a full-sized MotoQuest bag will, it will take care of the essentials. We have always found ours useful, and we can only suggest that you check out Andy’s website www.andystrapz. com if you have luggage or other travel requirements!
TRUTH
HURTS
Who bags Andy Strapz’ Shoulda Bagz this time?
NO CARE AND NO RESPONSIBILITY
Dear Bear,
Your story in AMM #34 ‘This Appeals! A win for the little bloke’, touched a nerve in me, illustrating yet again the morally bankrupt, yet standard practice, that large organisations have transformed into an art form: that of blame shifting, reputation management and obfuscation, whenever they are called to account for their failings. Thankfully, in this case, there was a happy ending on two counts: the first being the little bloke got justice, and second, he survived! Sadly, the same cannot be said for an experienced rider, who while enjoying a ride on a pleasant morning at 1130 on Sunday 4th Oct 15, lost his life on the brand new Oallen Ford bridge on the Shoalhaven River, NSW. This new stretch of road, and the new bridge itself, had only been open for traffic since 11 September 15. In this short period of time, this newly constructed road surface suffered damage that truly beggars belief. Media reports, and a bereaved partner, suggest the possibility that this road damage may have
Hi Peter,
In 20 trips to the US and 40 to New
contributed to the crash. There is also dash-cam footage from a car, taken two days before the fatal crash, that shows the road damage. This footage is compelling viewing, knowing any of us can be (and have been) confronted with such a situation at any time. Often, it is that combination of luck and skill that wins the day. Other times, no amount of skill will suffice. I must emphasise the crash report is not yet completed and released, so I must be cautious about implying or inferring blame.
Nevertheless, can we still not get the basics right when it comes to building and maintaining a simple road? The Romans managed it, why can’t we?
I’ve seen bitumen being turfed into water-filled potholes in the pouring rain, so that a contractor can claim a payment and a council can claim they’re maintaining roads within a budget limit. Two hours later, the hole has reappeared. Surprise, surprise. Well, I’m feeling ripped off and I want my money back.
No doubt every rider out there who has suffered the consequences of poor road maintenance, which were entirely preventable had some simple
Zealand (true stats) I have never had a baggage problem. Until yesterday. My wonderful heavy-duty Motoquest bag was destroyed, and my helmet within also destroyed, and its Scala intercom attachment smashed. Jacket torn, $2000? Maybe, negotiations are continuing...
Peter Colwell
Peter, what did they do to your bag?!? And more importantly, who was it? Remind me never to fly with them! Have one of Andy’s bagz as consolation– The Bear
measures been taken, also feels ripped off – if they are lucky enough to have survived. Yes, we ride to survive, and in the final analysis, it is the rider who must look after themselves.
Encountering a poor road surface in a car is one thing; on a bike, as we know, it can be an entirely different thing. Give us this simple break. If we had aircraft crashing due to poor maintenance, with the same frequency we see motorcycles crashing on our roads due to poor road maintenance practices, it wouldn’t be tolerated for longer than a week. It’s a strange world, isn’t it?
Tim Standen Worrigee NSW
Strange world indeed, Tim. Have you ever wondered why it’s more “worthwhile” to spend money ensuring that road users don’t exceed our rather arbitrary speed limits by a few measly kilometres an hour, instead of spending it no making roads safer? – The Bear
WE’RE THE FARKARWEE
Well, at least The Bear is captioning his travel pics so we know where they are taken. Good stuff!
But what about the rest, eh? I look at the opening page of a test report and see all the Suzis lined up and think Hey that looks like the Fox & Hounds at Port Arthur... So I says to myself, I know, I’ll look at the caption and see. Smart. But all I find is that Stewie is wearing the latest polka-dotted nonslip-lip-grip product from Ansell. Now I know you have sponsors to humour, but frankly I don’t give a proverbial, and that tidbit of info is not going to make me seek out that product next time I’m in the pharmacy.
C’mon guys! You’re halfway there... Ruzzle
Moruya NSW
Geez, Ruzzle, I wish I lived in Moruya… - The Bear
RULE NUMBER TWO
Hi Bear,
Seeing your ad in this month’s magazine for your 2016 US Guided Tour made me think of this sign we
saw on our visit to the US. It offers advice on what to do if you look like breaking rule No. 2 “Don’t get eaten by a Bear”
We thought it very funny in a country that believes Australia is full on things that will kill you.
Peter H Bear Army #10
I love that “fight back aggressively” Peter! - The Bear
DISTASTEFUL BORIS
Dear AMM,
Thank you for your offer to resubscribe to your magazine. Although I have thoroughly enjoyed the articles, advice, trip reports and reviews I cannot sign for another 12 months on the principle against your ‘fi nal word’ in each month – Boris. Although I understand this feature is intended with humour, its sarcastic tone continues to offend me as it
ridicules anyone that does not ride fast, hard and has ridden since they could stand. People find joy in all types of motorcycles and motorcycling and by running this column you are advocating his narrow minded views. I’m afraid that I intend to invest my money in other publications who write about the pleasures of riding and embrace riders of all abilities –young,
WHAT SAY YOU?
old, hipster, tourer or adventurer. A few months ago I wrote a complaint against one of his columns that made reference to a young female “goth” committing self-harm in her bedroom. As an educator of your women I found this particularly distasteful. Disappointingly, I did not receive a reply.
Kind regards, Devon Greetham
Hi Devon, and thank you for your email. You mention that you have “thoroughly enjoyed” AMM, so are you saying you’d give up on such enjoyment for one page in the magazine? Have a think about it… Either way, great to hear you’ve enjoyed AMM and we hope you continue to do so. Neither of us remembers seeing an email from you in the past? - Stuart
SNICK SNAKIN’ AWAY
I did a 2000km ride in the US last year and the organizers warned us about slippery tar snakes before we started,
so it’s a known problem.
Rode over heaps of them in all sorts of conditions and temperatures but never noticed a problem. The bike was a Triumph Thunderbird Lt which was perfect for that ride.
Cheers, Peter Clifford
What can I say, Peter? You obviously propitiated the Tar Snake God in some way, possibly by sacrificing a hedgehog? – The Bear
VIT VAT?
Hey Bear, I hear that the box-like Huskies from last year have turned into more motorcycle-like motorcycles. Is that true? There is nothing that makes any sense to me on the Husqvarna website. I thought maybe you would
have seen something at the big show in Italy.
Huskie Hammond Brisbane
Yes, Huskie, there was a Vitpilen 701 on the stand in Milan.
Unfortunately it was in a glass box and lit rather strangely, but you’re right – it looked completely different from the suitcases we saw last year. Photo above! – The Bear
Bear in mind all prices (unless indicated) exclude dealer and on road costs and some prices may have changed at the last minute as we went to the printer.
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FROM THE CAVE
BEAR FACED
OH, BAD(?) LUCK
You do not have to have lots of horsepower to pull spectacular crashes. I once ran a rented Mobylette into a construction ditch in Tahiti after eating too much raw fish marinated in lime juice at Harry’s Bar. Sampling all those different rum cocktails might have had something to do with it, too. For all I know, I’m the only person ever to get any air on a Mobylette. The mild power output plus the location of the engine – over the front wheel – combine to make it an earthbound vehicle indeed. Except when you ride it up a berm of dirt left by a road crew and into the resulting ditch that they have been lining with concrete. I flew for a fraction of a second, much like a superannuated albatross, and then disappeared face first.
That crash was also notable for the fact that its aftermath was worse than the actual encounter with the raw concrete as I flipped into the depths. I sustained copious superficial scrape wounds, being dressed in only shorts and a t shirt. Lucky, you say? Ah yes, but I went to bed without treating the scrapes. I woke up stuck to the bedsheets by my own blood, and leave it to you to imagine the rest.
I’ll give you a hint – picture me standing in the shower, the bedsheet glued to me in various places and being slowly soaked off as the blood liquefied again. I must have looked like Julius Caesar after morning tea with Brutus and his mates.
Things like this can even happen to you when you have no horsepower at all at your disposal. This did not happen to me, but a friend. Well, he was a friend until I started laughing like a hyena when he told me what had put the prominent bandage on his face.
He had been swooping down the road on his skateboard when he was momentarily distracted by a young lady
who had forgotten to put on most of her clothes. As he looked to the front again, he found himself just about to encounter a waist-high pipe railing. He turned a full forward somersault over the pipe and came down on his feet – and on his board. Unfortunately it was the rear edge that his feet encountered, flipping the board up and causing it to contact his nose with some considerable force.
Here’s another one. Most of us have probably had this happen to us or at least know someone to whom it has: you pull up, flip the side stand down and find that the ground is soft or not there at all – perhaps courtesy of a pothole – so that you fall over. Embarrassing for you –possibly expensive – and hilarious for anyone watching you. I did something like this once with a Gilera 500 Saturno. This very rare bike made a crackling sort of sound – like stepping on an Airfix model – as it hit the ground. Ouch. That was the sound of money…
Fortunately (forgive the pun), bad luck is not always just bad. Charlie’s XL’s throttle cable broke in deepest, darkest Wales and since Australia had not then just beaten Wales on the rugby field, we were treated to outstanding hospitality and a wonderful insight into Welsh social life. A young couple stopped to see what was wrong and proceeded to arrange a new cable, overnight accommodation at their house because it was getting late when we’d fixed the bike and a night out in a rock ‘n’ roll pub with walls covered in comic book characters. They even introduced us to a drink neither of us had tried before, Colt 45 Malt Liquor. This has only about 6% alcohol, but it was amazingly easy to drink and – yes – I actually ended up dancing (or something along those lines).
Thanks again, Kevin and Skippy. I’ve written about the time my mate Michel’s BMW flipped over in the Turkish town of Anamur and bent its subframe; while awaiting repairs we spent an hilarious evening enjoying the hospitality of the local campground’s owner. The list goes on, and demonstrates that you should probably not be too quick to classify your luck as either good or bad; you never know how it will turn out.
Of course motorcycles are far more likely than almost any other form of transport to result in these kinds of encounters; I don’t think I can count the number of times that a helpless look in the gathering dusk has got me good advice about a camping spot, or even an invitation to stay. Bicycles have exactly the same effect.
I was somewhere near Chumphon in southern Thailand on my pushbike when night overtook me. I’d been warned about travelling in the dark, not least because quite a few of the trucks relied on ambient light: the moon and stars. I had also just had an encounter with Communist rebels who had stopped me, checked my passport (just like a Government patrol) and then been unable to think of anything to do with me. They argued for a while among themselves and then let me go, but of course I couldn’t be sure that would happen again, next time.
So I rolled into a fair-sized village and asked around for accommodation. My Thai being restricted to half a dozen words, I used what I thought was a universal gesture for ‘sleep’; I put my palms together next to my face, tilted my head and closed my eyes.
Hilarity resulted, but then I was taken to a building that I assumed was an hotel. I was shown to a room and then, to my puzzlement, the woman I took to be the desk clerk kept bringing girls in and introducing us. Even I, innocent that I was, eventually worked out that my gesture had carried more meaning than I thought, and I’d ended up in a brothel…
Bad luck!.
YOUR EDITOR
I
have known the editor of this fine publication for some years now. I am as deeply disturbed now by this knowing as I was when I first clapped eyes on the enormous bastard.
I first met Stuart Woodbury at some bike launch (back in 2008, Ed), and I remember wondering who this unknown but gigantic sumbitch was, what magazine he represented, and what he imagined he was doing there, in all his gangly enormity among the elite Australian motorcycle press cadre.
I have worked in this filthy industry for 30 years. It has scarred me and exalted me in equal measure. I do love it so.
And I guard its gates with a gimlet eye.
So on the rare occasion when new kids present themselves at a press event, old bison like me tend to look them over closely.
Seeing as I am one of the biggerhorned bison, whose mighty scrotal sack is so filled with evil puissance it kisses the ground as I lumber into battle, I tend to peer at the new bison with especial disdain.
There are only two bison older than me in the Aussie motorcycle press herd. The Bear is one of them, but he’s more like a national motorcycling treasure than a smelly, free-loading bull-journo these days; Grant Roff is the other ancient. I respect them both, for their kung-fu is mighty and they have done the Hard Yards.
But when I clapped eyes on Woodbury, I could see he had done no yards. He was so fresh and shiny and uncontaminated, he didn’t know enough to order five extra bottles of red wine with dinner, three mains and two desserts – which is standard for any press-launch nosh-fest.
I also fully expected him to crash shortly after stands-up the next morning.
I was instead treated to a display of riding skill that humbled me. And
pretty much every other motorcycle journalist on hand.
The big swine could ride. Most big swine can’t. Being big and all, they just can’t seem to condense themselves into the appropriate size for high-speed work. Woodbury is a freak in that regard. I have only known one other like him – a gargantuan Englishman who was also faster on a motorcycle than the Road Gods normally allow.
The motorcycling press has hated Woodbury since that day, and with each press launch that passes, as he passes their sad arses by defying the laws of physics on whatever motorcycle he is given, their loathing of him intensifies. Their eyes roll in horror and you can see the bloodspeckled whites surrounding the pupils glisten in outrage each time Woodbury looms among them. They hate me too, but for other reasons, so Woodbury and I had something in common.
We discovered we had a lot more in common when he very generously offered to give me a lift home from the airport after that first launch.
Since then, Woodbury and I have attended a lot of motorcycle events together. On each one, he has hosed me like a vomit-flecked patio after a 21st birthday party. I’ve chased him a bit, but only ever passed him once. Yes, it is true he was on a 600cc cruiser and I was on a 1900cc cruiser, but a win is a win.
I have come to understand that Woodbury is what I call a True Believer. He is one of the Honest Faithful. He is all about motorcycles. He races them, he builds them, he talks about nothing but them, and his phone is full of pictures of them. He has no other hobbies or interests. He is pure – like one of those medieval monks who have devoted their lives to the Great Sky Führer.
He is also a dire and disgraceful jackanapes – a monstrously-
proportioned child whose pranks and snipes have caused me no end of grotesque amusement. It’s like having a giant, grinning bear filling your mirrors through every corner; corners which he can easily shame you on, but for reasons known only to himself, chooses rather to sit on your back tyre and taunt you into damnation.
I have not been on a ride with him where my kill switch has not been flicked off as he’s hammered past me. I have emerged from my lodgings to find my bike with its mirrors unscrewed, its plug caps off and its headlight beam adjusted into the ground. He has caused my arse to spasm in terror when he momentarily locked up his back wheel on a freeway at 140 immediately in front of me, causing the rear tyre to shriek and sending a puff of blue smoke into my face.
The list of his calumnies is also long and varied.
And all the time he’s just laughing and smiling and plotting the next outrage.
Is this the kind of creature you need capering along the bitumen, with its vast knees, impossible elbows and massive head inches from your back tyre?
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