Australian Motorcyclist Issue #59

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NEW BIKES! NEW BIKES! ALL THE NEW BIKES FOR 2018!

� � i � � r � Aus

F R E E IN

R-OUT S ID E : T E A

AU S T R A

SUMMERTIME

TRAVEL

L IA

TR RCYCLE O T O M N

P AV E L M A

2017 JANUARY

IDE BEAR INS

MILAN BIKE SHOW HOT! HOT! HOT! JUST FOR YOU

YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT HOT

HONDA RC30 WHO WOULDN’T LOVE THIS!

MOTO GUZZI V7III RACER MANDELLO RACES TO THE TOP

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340798 000228

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AUS $9.95 (Inc GST) NZ $10.95 (Inc GST)

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AHRRC: HISTORICS RACING HARD FOR THE TITLE / BOXING DAY SPECIALS: TAKE THAT CASH! BUY THAT STUFF! / BENELLI TNT 125: LITTLE LION / KAWASAKI Z900RS REVEAL: YEP, IT’S NICE / GOODWOOD REVIVAL: STUNNING BORIS SAYS: FOB OFF! / BEAR: RED STUFF / LESTER: WORKING THE INDUSTRY 7/12/17 6:46 pm

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CONTENTS 86

“And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been.”

RAINER MARIA RILKE

SPECIAL FEATURES

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EICMA 2017 2018 is looking good

BOXING DAY SPECIALS Here’s what you wanted for Xmas all along

TESTING

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BENELLI TNT 125 Let the little Lion roar!

MOTO GUZZI V7III RACER Bring a mop…for the drool

TRAVEL

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SUMMERTIME RIDING Some like it hot PUB OF THE MONTH In search of more than beer THINGS TO CONSIDER IN VIETNAM Here’s how to ride Vietnam the best way

TEAR-OUT MAP

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BEGA TO COOMA, NSW Sea to the mountains

EVENT

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AHRRC How did we go at the Aussie Historic Titles?

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KAWASAKI Z900RS REVEAL Even better in the metal GOODWOOD REVIVAL Magnificent men and their riding machines

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KEEP ER LIT!

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TECHNICAL

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GOODWOOD IS ALIVE!

KTM 1290 SUPERDUKE GT On the road again…in a fast way!

HONDA RC30 Taking a look at exotica DUCATI SCRAMBLER DESERT SLED A dapper affair SAFETY Learning how to crash?

USED & REVIEWED Get ready for a booting!

LONG TERMERS The longer we have them, the better they get

SAY THE REST. SOME THE BEST

08 10 56 102 103 106 109 112 114

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EDITORIAL Frankie and Mandy get sprung NEWS A right showing WHERE’S THE BEAR It’s so easy this month!

GRIZZLING Yes, he’s grizzling as usual CLASSIC MORRIS Working the counter WHAT SAY YOU? Thinking it? Say it!

NEW BIKE PRICES See it. Buy it!

BEARFACED What’s that red stuff?

BORIS Fob off!

Australian Motorcyclist

Australian Motorcyclist Magazine

Australian Motorcyclist Magazine

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EICMA GOES OFF

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@AusMotrCyclist

Please enjoy Australian MOTORCYCLIST Magazine responsibly and add this issue to your collection. MOST BACK ISSUES ARE STILL AVAILABLE; just visit the website www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au or drop us a line to contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com.au www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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EDITORSPEAKS Three musketeers talking race strategy

Editor Stuart Woodbury Contributing Editor J Peter Thoeming Sales Manager Ralph Leavsey-Moase ralph@ausmotorcyclist.com.au Photo Editor Nick Wood Designer Amy Hale Photographers Nick Wood Photography, Half-Light Photography Contributors Robert Crick, Jacqui Kennedy, Robert Lovas, Phil Gadd, Boris Mihailovic, Lester Morris, The Possum, Colin Whelan

Oh…the wise words that spew forth

Editorial contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com.au

AVE YOU SIGNED up for our Vietnam and/or New Zealand reader’s tours yet?

Well, hurry up, you’re going to have an amazing time! Our tours are a great way to see awesome locations with experienced and professional companies. Let’s go ride, eat and drink to our hearts content!

The pictures you see accompanying my words this month are from the recent Australian Historic Road Race Championships (AHRRC).

You can read all about how we went elsewhere in the magazine but I wanted to explain a little bit of fun a group of my friends and I have during the major meetings.

If you’ve ever participated or attended a race meeting you’ll notice a lot of people sitting around. This is because there are usually hours between races and over a four day meet – that’s a lot of time! So to fill in the time between races my friends and I have introduced, Frankie and now, Mandy. Frankie (the Frankfurt) and Mandy (the Mandarin) are boyfriend and girlfriend. They love classic motorcycle racing and can and will appear on someone’s motorcycle at the most unexpected times.

The last time we saw Frankie was at The Festival of Speed where he unfortunately got cooked while spending some time roaring around Sydney Motorsport Park on a GSX-R750. He popped up at the

Subscription enquiries www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au info@ausmotorcyclist.com.au 0412 220 680 Printer PRINTED IN AUSTRALIA Distributor Gordon and Gotch Australian Motorcyclist Magazine is published by Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. Suite 4b, Level 1, 11-13 Orion Rd, Lane Cove West NSW 2066 Phone 0412 220 680.

This publication is copyright. Other than for the purposes of research, study, criticism, review, parody or satire and subject to the conditions prescribed under the Copyright Act 1968, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted without the prior written permission of Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. Opinions expressed within this publication do not necessarily represent those of Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. No responsibility is accepted by Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd or the editor for the accuracy of any statement, opinion or advice contained in the text or advertisements. Readers should rely on their own enquiries in making decisions tailored to their own interest. *Recommended retail price Copyright © Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd ACN 161 432 506 ISSN 2201-5442

We encourage you to keep or recycle this magazine.

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H

Meet, Frankie!

recent AHRRC and he’d grown a little bit and someone was kind enough to lend him a hat (bottle top) due to the hot sunny weather. Mandy didn’t fare so well, she was a bit ‘flat’ so stayed at home, but Frankie first hopped onto our Yamaha FZR1000, then jumped on a Ducati 851, another FZR1000 and was last seen hopping on a Honda CR500! The bad news for Frankie is that two suspects were questioned by the ‘racetrack Police’ with both denying eating him. One had a smear of tomato sauce on his lip, while the other had a large drip of BBQ sauce on his shirt. You decide who ate him, but I dare say whoever it was, their plumbing system would have got a good workout the next day!

Frankie and Mandy have vowed to make an appearance at the Island Classic in January and The Festival of Speed in March. If you see them, say g’day and bring a plate if you feel they need to be eaten for their own safety.

Enjoy!

Cheers, Stuart.

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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@kawasakimotors

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Cash Back applies to KLX110, KLX110L, KLX140, KLX140L models. Available from participating Kawasaki dealerships. The cash back value is used as a reduction in the purchase price; no cash is passed on to the buyer. The bike must be collected from the dealership before the end of the promotion.Offer valid from 1/10/17. For end date please check www.kawasaki.com.au.

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NEWS

TO YOU, YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! From all of our small team at Australian Motorcyclist magazine we wish you, your family and friends a merry Christmas and a happy New Year. Get out for a relaxing ride but just watch the po, po who could be wanting to take your Christmas cash.

2018 is already shaping up to be a busy one! Enjoy!

PICK OF THE YEAR

THAT’S A WRAP! Each year we get to ride a lot of new bikes and ride a lot of roads

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and picking our favourite bike or thing from the year can be a hard one. The Bear will usually go with whatever he’s bought and his latest purchase has been the Royal Enfield Himalayan, but Ralph and Stuart are a little more unpredictable in their pick. Ralph said he would have to take the KTM 1290 Superduke R as he would have the biggest smile for the longest time riding it and for Stuart, he has gone not for a bike but rather a destination – riding the BMW R 1200 GS Rallye X to Cape York was a big highlight for the year.

It’s a must do!

managed to advert his eyes for a split second to say he likes the ‘dark’ look of the new RE, and the Brutale is one he’s always liked and can’t wait till we get it in for review.

SHOW EM OFF

SYDNEY MOTORCYCLE SHOW The recent Sydney Motorcycle Show was a huge success with a lot of

WHERE TO LOOK

MAXIM HOT 100 Ralph headed off to the Gold Coast recently for the reveal of the Royal Enfield Classic Stealth Black and the MV Agusta Brutale 800 RR at the yearly Maxim Hottest 100 party. Ralph didn’t know where to look with so many beautiful people wandering around but

manufacturers getting their hands on new models when in previous years it has been difficult. It was great to see many of you popping by our stand to say g’day and subscribe/ resubscribe. We’ll have a full report in the next issue. If you didn’t subscribe then, either for yourself or for a friend/family member, do it now! D

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EICMA MOTORCYCLE SHOW The motorcycle world meets in Milan

WORDS (AND BLISTERS) RALPH PHOTOS EVERYONE AND RLM

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EICMA MOTORCYCLE SHOW

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VERY YEAR, the world of motorcycling meets in Milan.

EICMA, the giant annual showcase of the industry, offers everything that is innovative and cutting edge in a meeting between tradition and all that is new. And it is received with enormous enthusiasm.

Just ask Piaggio. The massive throng of the press contingent pushing its way to the head of the queue, matching a tide of the sharpest goodlooking Italian businessmen, looking like spares from the Milan fashion schools, was impatiently waiting for what could be Vespa’s longest-awaited (for at least a decade, it seems me) model rollout since Audrey Hepburn ran away with Cary Grant. The Bear had warned me about this ‘show’, but I still found it one of the most appalling presentations ever. Piaggio, please don’t drag out octarian Colanino to banter with a nearly as old interviewer who could only proclaim in Italian that the new Electric Vespa was exciting.

Just, as Boris would say, “stop it”!

The thing about Italians and motorcycles and all the other things motociclismo, is – well, sex does sell. Or at least it makes for amazing viewing for the mainly male

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Special Feature

showgoers. Strategically place just a tiny percentage of available beautiful women in Italy on almost anything, or Keanu Reeves on his ARCH , and sex was doing its best to compete with the bikes for the limelight.

2016 had been the year of ‘adventure’. This year was more of a mixture of positive developments.

While there were many stunningly new models (and some of the bikes looked pretty good as well), I found it difficult to pin down what if any theme was happening in Milan. One thing’s for sure: was this show was about making a visual impact. No single bike could satisfy every taste, but fortunately with so many brands and models on show across so many segments, there was something for everyone.

DESIRABLE DUCATI

A year is a very long time in Italy.

Earlier in 2017 we were in raptures at the air-cooled Desert Sled version of the 800 Scrambler and justifiably salivating over the 950 Multistrada.

This time around Bologna didn’t

actually surprise us too much with the carefully drip-fed V4 Panigale, but astonished us with the ‘in the flesh’ engineering Tour de Force.

The Desmosedici Stradale engine, an 1103cc four-cylinder due in March, is only two kilograms heavier that the L-Twin. You might pick up on the capacity being larger than MotoGP and Superbike regulations: Ducati is using the slightly larger capacity to improve real-world performance with added low and mid-range torque.

To offset the inevitable weight gain compared to the 1299 Panigale (because of the four cylinders) Ducati has developed an all-new frame design called the Front Frame.

With the use of light materials, the new frame keeps the kerb weight of the S and Special versions down to 195kg. This weight, combined with the 214hp, means a power/weight ratio of 1.1 hp/kg. What that will mean to you, if the V4 is on your radar, is a motorcycle that will surely be the closest item to Superbike and MotoGP spec as can be bought off the showroom floor and ridden away in traffic with a plate on the back of its beautiful ‘culo’.

The ‘S’ version does come enhanced

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CELEBRATE THE DARK There’s a time to ride, and a time to call it a day, sit back and watch the universe blaze away in all its glory. To remember the joys and pains of the day gone by, and look forward to what tomorrow brings. There, amidst the dark, discover the other half of your riding story, with a motorcycle that’s slept under the night sky since 1901. Embrace the dark with the new Classic Stealth Black and Gunmetal Grey now with ABS.

Stealth Black

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Gunmetal Grey

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EICMA MOTORCYCLE SHOW

Special Feature

Superior were hitting well above their weight in terms of sheer excitement.

A big name and an equally big bike had the crowded stand buzzing every day.

Sadly Keanu’s memory is a bit like mine and he didn’t remember the time we shared on set

while filming The Matrix. Not that he would have given me a discount on the cough, cough ‘don’t bother asking how much’ price tag. Arch squeezed three models into their booth, the KRGT-1, Arch 1 (both 2032cc) the Method 143 (2343cc) and one sold straight away.

Lucky Thomas from Rizoma.

BROUGH SUPERIOR

Well documented over recent years and, I have to say, amazing in the metal were the bespoke SS100s.

They deserve a place in anyone’s ‘Must Have’ list. That’s of course if you are the person that can treat

with Öhlins suspension. If the Strada or the Strada S isn’t quite enough, then check the bike Casey Stoner had the privilege (well-earned too) of launching: the new ‘Speciale’. The Tricolore model is drop-dead gorgeous. 2

KAWASAKI

Maybe not claiming the award for the most visually stunning bike at the show, at least KHI knows a thing or two about how to go about making bulk horsepower attractive to the people who want to transverse the Alps at warp-speed while carrying a change of clothes and toiletries. They can do this on the supercharged tourer H2 SX which has – just look! - actual panniers! One pannier for your kit and the other for the cash to bail you out of speeding fines and to spend at pitstops for new back tyres every 1000 kilometres or so! You have to admire Kawasaki for the balls. The SX produces a handy supercharged 200 plus HP to propel you and your trusting friend along at warp-speed.

If that isn’t enough, there’s a limited edition green SE model which won’t be any faster! Price? Availability?

These questions remained unanswered at this point.

ARCH

Keanu with his co-designer Gard Hollinger, although holding court at a small stand compared to, say, Brough

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EICMA MOTORCYCLE SHOW

yourself whenever the ‘Must Have’ rule is invoked. Marketing 101 was effectively in place, too, with both the old and new bespoke range featured on the stand.

model. Better, fresher wheels and a smart angular change to the front helps.

TOURABLE

HONDA

BIGGER IS BETTER

DUCATI

The Multistrada 1260. These few extra ccs should reduce any Round the World in 80 Days rides to an annual leave adventure. Capacity aside, the updated Multi has added even more electronics and all the enhancements possible styling-wise to differentiate itself without becoming a totally new

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A revisited Goldwing.

You only have to utter the word ‘Goldwing’ and word association does the rest. Luxury, quality, longevity and comfort are owned by the Goldwing and this new generation six cylinder can add connectivity and more performance and less weight to the list along with a very sharp styling redesign.

MOVEABLE TWO WAYS TO GO

The World Traveller class of 2018 is growing stronger and broader. Yamaha finally had a near-production ready Ténéré 700 World Raid prototype on the stand. But the biggest hit - in terms of noise, anyway, would have been the latest 799cc twin cylinder KTM 790 Adventure R. Only a prototype using the same LC8c engine as the Duke, the 790 Adventure R must be the most eagerly awaited mid-sized planet conquerers since the above Yamaha. The bikes will be looking at very similar markets and closely similar specifications, and we all know is that both these models will mean nearly as much to the adventure scene as BMW’s launch of the original GS series nearly forty years ago.

The new BMW 750/850 GS models have good promise too with

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Slammed stance. Chopped fenders.

Totally blacked-out and stripped-down.

The Scout® Bobber is no frills, all attitude. The only place we didn’t hold back: the barely tamed horsepower of a 1133cc V-Twin. From $18,995 ride away, this minimalist motorcycle proves that less is definitely more.

www.indianmotorcycle.com.au

*Overseas model with optional accessories shown.

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EICMA MOTORCYCLE SHOW

leaner looks and revised or changed mechanical items. The chain now exits on the left-hand side while the muffler has moved to the other side. The smaller capacity bike will be good news for short legs with its smaller wheels (19/17”) while the 850 scores the 21” front and wire wheels. Moving the fuel tank back into the ‘normal’ zone just above the rider’s knees isn’t, I imagine, an admission of ‘not right the first time’ but more of grabbing the opportunity for a ground up transformation. Expect a very usable

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travel companion with both models.

Moto Guzzi caught me by surprise with the reincarnation of its Dakar breed in 850 capacity. A cross between the 650 NTX (yes, they were pretty average but had a strong if small following) and their 750/900 retro street rods albeit with longer legs and bodywork that will have you believe the Sahara is crossable. I posted this on our Facebook and comments flowed… not all in the affirmative.

Stuff that, I like it!

SWM was happy that its Euro4

Superdual 650 has ABS and the 21” front wheel, and stock should start arriving here soon from the little Italian factory.

Full marks to Honda for the improvements wielded on the Africa Twin for 2018. Fly-by-wire throttle, four new engine maps and an increase in fuel capacity (just over 5 litres and much needed) and longer travel suspension gives us the new ‘Adventure Sports’ model. A quickshifter and even heated grips along with better ergonomics will

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PART OF YOUR ADVENTURE FAMILY!

16 – 18 March, 2018 – Myrtleford, VIC

Take in autumn in the inconic Alpine region! ➜ Manufacturer displays ➜ Test rides ➜ Accessories ➜ Adventure Challenge ➜ Presentations ➜ Show & Shine ➜ Food & Entertainment ➜ On-site camping

Mingle with manufacturers and suppliers in one beautiful location, while enjoying our festival of events.

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EICMA MOTORCYCLE SHOW

Special Feature DUCATI

It’s a little on the chubby side, but the 1079cc addition to the Scrambler range will please those looking for a lot more grunt from their commuter.

Ducati is pushing the boundary here and as long as the simplicity and easy to ride nature of the 800 translates across to the Scrambler 1100 then maybe this larger machine might become a bit of a cult bike. The reappearance of the under-seat mufflers had me puzzled. There will be an ‘S’ with obligatory Öhlins suspension, a Sport and a Special along with the standard model. The simple engine modes are, as you would expect, City and Active and let’s be totally different and call the one in the middle ‘Journey’ with the full 85hp (quoted). mean the Honda should continue to hold its ground in the Dual Sport market here.

STREETABLE HUSQVARNA

SVARTPILEN 701 in all of its brooding urban looks with a capacity just under 700cc looks to have pure fun wrapped up. Translated to ‘Black

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Arrow’ the Svartpilen will add to the everimproving Husky sales down here when it joins the 401, possibly in 2018.

The catch-cry of their presentation was ‘progressive’ and I took that to mean pushing a single cylinder to the limits of design for the streets. Part Flat Track and a mix of futuristic design the 75hp KTM derived engine has ‘hooligan’ written all over it. The detailing as well as top shelf parts are superb.

ROYAL ENFIELD

Probably the most jolly, delightful and characterful launch was on the Royal Enfield stand. RE owner Siddhartha ‘Sid’ Lal and his UK based crew ran a positive and insightful ‘chat’ on the development of the 650s. The touring style Interceptor and its smaller sibling the Café Racer style Continental GT were a surprise in looks and specifications.

Why only 650, when for a number of years the rumour was of a full house 750? Sid explained that the 650

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EICMA MOTORCYCLE SHOW

Special Feature

with its low 47hp ticked the boxes in every market and especially in the homeland India. Great rationale. The package looks tight and well thought out while quality outwardly is pleasing, especially at the forecast of a sub $10,000 price here in Australia. Throwing a leg over reveals that the cockpit on the Interceptor is simply naturally nice.

After exhaustive testing, development engineers settled on the 270-degree firing order and I bet this will translate on the road to a hoot to burn around on a city commute and a relaxing weekend tourer with a six-speed gearbox.

The fuel tank looks great although with only 13.7 litres may be a little shy of what we would want here in Australia. Expect the fuel consumption to be outstanding and expect the 650s in our showrooms mid-2018.

KAWASAKI

The Zed’s not dead! We have had full saturation reveals of the red Zed 900 over the past few months but the surprise on Tuesday morning was the green Cafe

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version of the touring fairing fitted to the Glide range. Nice attempt, too, H-D. I liked the wheels, the upswept 2 into 1 and, knowing how well the new Softail frame handles, I think the Sport will be a great addition to the range for 2018.

KTM

Racer version with the ‘70s styling, white stripes against the green livery. Pretty models aside (as usual the Big K had its share) the new Zed caught a lot of attention and justifiably so.

HARLEY DAVIDSON

Harley has hogged (there I go again) enough of the limelight with the

recent launch of the entirely new Softail range (see Australian MOTORCYCLIST #58 Cosmic Expansion) so let’s skip to the EICMA-launched FLSB Sport Glide 107. The box said Glide and Sport and open the packet and you can also see some touring pretensions with the soft-shell panniers and the mini

Well, colour me Orange. The roll call of KTM hero riders took quite a while since the Austrians had (again) won so many titles this year, but the standout for me was not the blokes but the new 790 platform of twins. The LC8c twin cylinder is just what KTM needs to fill out the market gap between the singles and the heavy hitting plus-1090s and up to the 1290s. The promise is exciting real-world performance and, most importantly, agile handling with some built in excitement out of the 77kW parallel twin. Torque of 86Nm and light weight of 169kg for the 790 Duke leads me to think that the term The Scalpel might be quite apt!

SUZUKI

Pretty much the opposite of KTM, Suzuki stayed away from anything new in the field of usable motorcycling, unless the SV 650 X could be worthy

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EICMA MOTORCYCLE SHOW

of the ‘new’ tag. Certainly as a retro remake the V Twin platform was given a decent styling treatment with clipons and a neat nose fairing. Hopefully we will see both the LAMS and the full powered versions here.

YAMAHA

On paper the addition of a GT model to the popular Yamaha 900 Tracer range looks like a good thing.

From the outside the MT-09 featured a slight restyling as well improvements to suspension and seat comfort.

Special Feature

about visceral reactions because, as a feat of design and build the Niken is pretty remarkable. Yes, it has been done before but never so well!

Maybe the dual-external front forks or the intimidating front bodywork are the hallmark of some very classleading design. As a massive 847cc single it will certainly get

UNUSUAL YAMAHA

No ‘Jake the Peg’ threelegged Rolf Harris jokes here please. Yamaha has gone full-tilt on the Niken concept threewheeler and you could sense some confusion (from the press) and anxiety (from the Japanese) in the room.

Sometimes you just have to go with a design and not be bothered

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@triumphaus

Official Triumph

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EICMA MOTORCYCLE SHOW

along well with nearly 85kW! Using #46, the oldest and best-known MotoGP rider, to whip up the media could only help Yamaha get this technology into the marketplace.

SUZUKI

Special Feature

Following along with travels into the long distant past, Suzuki pulled the covers off the new Katana and while not as note perfect as say the Z900 RS, it was a good rendition of the Muth-

designed ‘80s road bike. All the lines were there but for me it didn’t have the long lean look; it is much squatter and too modern. Still, if it makes it into production the fan club will pick up enough orders to make it viable.

QUADRO

Neither an Audi or a four-season pizza, Quadro had a stand large enough to convey presence and ambition. It’s part scooter and part utility, and you only had to go out in the Milan drizzle and view the snow-capped mountains to the north to realise there is a place for the Quadro in Europe.

OTTO

On our old friend Google, there are fifty-four references with ‘Otto’ in the title. This little Taiwanese mini electric bike makes good use of the moniker.

I thought it was pretty snazzylooking with its modern sporty styling, given that it is small

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EICMA MOTORCYCLE SHOW

Special Feature

and the battery has to live somewhere. Other viewers were coughing up their spaghetti, but if we laugh at every attempt to bring something new into the market it may be at our peril. Otto Preminger said directing Monroe was like directing Lassie, it would take fourteen takes to get it right. The little Otto should take thirteen takes less!

SCOOTABLE All the major players made a stand.

Impressive were Kymco and SYM from Taiwan while BMW with the C 400 and Honda with an expansion of its range. Vespa’s Elettrica offers the promise of hybrid scootering and certainly the looks are a nod to previous steel-bodied small scoots.

ALMOST FORGOT Our friends at Rizoma knocked all of the other accessory houses out of the ballpark with their dressed-up

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bikes showing off the amazing range of beautiful aftermarket parts. The hit for me was the BMW R nine T, although most of the internet chatter was about the Aprilia gracing the stand.

Moto Morini and Mondial were back again and thankfully the later HPS (The Bear lamented its 125cc Hipster form last year) has grown up into a funkier 300 version really a 249cc. In classic PR speak

‘During the years in inactivity of FB Mondial the lord Peir Luigi Boselli, owner of the brand, and friendship and shared passion for bikes, gave birth to an ambitious project’. Hope it was a too painful a birth, Luigi. He also pronounced the comeback ‘closed to the Hipster Generation’ Morini meanwhile was taking some styling tips from the Ducati GT750, I thought.

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WALK THE WALK The electric phenomenon just keeps gathering momentum and this year, like every preceding year, showed signs that the silent revolution will be in all sizes and shapes sooner than you think.

And lastly the very first motorcycle presented to the media on day one was the concept Indian FTR (Flat Track Racer) in all of its minimalist glory. It was just the right teaser to show what can be done by the growing American brand to tap into the most youthful segment of the market. It is fitting that the newest bike can look like an old bike and it could appeal to almost anyone. To me, it summed up EICMA for 2017.

Bold, beautiful, sexy and new and old with the right blend of image and engineering.

Put Milan on your calendar for 2018.

The Bear did warn me with “pack comfortable shoes” Good advice indeed. The organisers like to schedule many launches only 15 minutes apart which means roller skates would be more suitable to duck out of one pavilion and scoot at maximum speed to the next. With seven ‘halls’ and the press room (a sanctuary from the madness, and better Wi-Fi) strung out over 20 hectares the pedometer was clocking up to 20 kilometres a day.

The first year is the learning year and next year I will be better

prepared. As a visitor you could rush through EICMA in a couple of days but I think three days would give you time to see just about everything and soak up the atmosphere. If you think the shows in Sydney or Melbourne were a decent size, then EICMA is a show on steroids, ten times bigger and better and with the pizzaz ramped right up as well. And of course if you are young enough, there isn’t an ugly person in Milan. D I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more…

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traVel

Southern USA in summer. That’s what “de livin’ is easy” is all about.

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SOME LIKE IT

HOT

Summer riding all over the world WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR

P

ICTURE IT: THE temperature is 52 degrees in the shade, but we aren’t riding in the shade. That option unfortunately does not exist.

We ride in the sun, and we don’t know what the temperature is in the sun. We finally arrive at the next town where we sleepwalk into the hotel – it feels as if you’re moving through molasses, and your reflexes follow a fraction of a second behind when they’re supposed to operate. Climbing stairs is… interesting.

There is no bottled water, and this is India. We are not about to drink from the tap. So we drink tea; at least we know the water has been boiled before being infused.

I suspect that I have drunk my body weight

in tea when I finally begin to feel hydrated again. I even have a need to urinate, not that much comes out. Of course all the tea means that I do not sleep that night, but I probably wouldn’t have slept anyway because the temperature drops only imperceptibly. I begin to understand the point of the typical Indian bed, the charpoy with its knotted ropes. It lets what little air is moving, through to sort-of cool you.

And your sweat can drip freely to the floor.

Summertime and the living is not easy.

Not in the Punjab.

It is better elsewhere. Let’s take a look at some of your favourite destinations (as determined by your letters), starting with overseas.

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t r av e l Soft evening light on the Cinque Terre – but the place is full in summer.

Europe

It is rarely really hot anywhere in Europe. In the north the temperature tends to stay at a reasonable level because the sun is further away, and around the Mediterranean in the south you have sea breezes to temper the heat. Summer would be a good time to ride in Europe except for the gazillion Europeans who also want to go on holidays then. The density of campervans in Norway, for instance, approaches infinity as does the number of motorcycles in the Alps – especially on weekends.

There are positive sides to this seasonality. France, they’ll tell you, shuts down in August. This makes it the perfect month to visit Paris, because the Parisians are all elsewhere.

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1.The long summer days in northern Europe make for great riding days.

2. Italy is especially conscious of overcrowding, so some places are permanently closed to traffic.

3.You’ll find that there are places in Europe where it is cool even in the hottest summer.

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T R AV E L

Well, not all – there are enough of them to make you a Campari and soda - but you know what I mean.

Avoid southern Spain and Portugal unless you really like parboiled and pissed Poms, and the Cote de Wossname in France unless you enjoy being sneered at and ignored by the staff in bars and restaurants.

Italy’s back country, like the Apennines for example, is terrific in summer but stay away from the tourist centres including the Dolomites, the Cinque Terre, Venice and any other large city. Except Turin, I suppose, but little is lost if you skip that anyway.

UNITED STATES OF TRUMPANIA

It does get hot in the middle of the continent, but if you stay near the coast you should be fine. In fact you should be more than fine; California’s

cold offshore current keeps the coastal temperatures quite pleasant, and the East Coast revels in sea breezes everywhere except in New York. The Weather Gods are punishing New York for… well, for being New York.

Americans also like August as a holiday month, but they spread their breaks out a bit more than the French.

They tend not to leave the borders of their own country, unlike Europeans, which rather crowds the holiday spots – but then there are many terrific destinations which are not generally regarded as holiday destinations.

High in the mountains is wonderful in summer. The tree line is quite high in the Rockies and the various Sierras, so you don’t end up riding through rock fields without shade quite so much. Book ahead, though, if you want to stay in any of the major national parks, even if you’re camping.

There are lots of Americans, and parks

Not your problem Most of the motorcycle-based travelling I’ve done over the years has been by myself, with Mrs Bear or with one or more friends. In recent years, however, I’ve been doing more of it on organised tours. Why is this so? Well, back in the day I didn’t have the responsibilities I’ve since picked up. No kinds, no house and often no job – or one I could just quit. I had time.

That’s no longer true, and I suspect that the majority of you don’t have a lot of time to spare either. We all want to spend our holiday time having a holiday, not sitting at a border for a week waiting for permission to cross. The answer is an organised tour where you can expect the formalities and much of the minutiae of travel to be taken care of for you. What you have to do is sit on the veranda of your pre-booked hotel with a glass of local wine, watching the sunset.

It’s hard to beat.

The dry, yellow summer grass of the Californian hills does nothing to spoil the riding.

are sometimes shut to stop them from becoming overcrowded and making it too easy for the bears to catch their breakfast.

Americans are quite sanguine about their climate. A pump jockey in Redding CA, in the Central Valley, once asked me what brought me to town. It was hot and I was sweated through, so I just said, “I’m on my way to somewhere else.” He nodded and replied, “Yeah, thought so.”

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Western America is best in Autumn when it’s less crowded but the passes have not yet been snowed in. All over the States, this is also the time for colourful foliage viewing.

SOUTH-EAST ASIA

Tough one. Your guide should probably be the monsoon – stay away when it’s blowing. Heavy rains and flooding

accompany it, although it doesn’t rain every day. But you need to accept the prevailing weather patterns. Throughout Southeast Asia, the monsoon season generally refers to the southwest monsoon, the time of the year when the prevailing winds blow up from the warm, wet equatorial seas, bringing in rains and storms. This starts in May or June, reaches its height between August and October and then tapers off by November.

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America has many climate zones, and significantly different riding conditions.

By December or January, the wind blows from the north with cold, dry air from continental Asia. This is the beginning of the dry season, which generally lasts until May when the whole thing begins again.

In effect, these areas have two seasons rather than four.

Countries closest to the equator - Indonesia, Malaysia, southern Philippines, and Singapore - have only one. Theirs is a tropical equatorial climate, uniformly humid and wet throughout the year. They

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T R AV E L

have few or no typhoons, but no extended cool, dry periods, either.

Further north in continental Asia, China and Siberia, summer should be a good time to visit but check the longrange forecasts anyway.

NORTHERN ASIA

Different parts of India have their monsoon season at different times during the year, and when the season is in full flight roads can be turned into rivers in a matter of minutes.

Generally speaking, India has four seasons: winter (December, January and February), summer (March, April and May), a monsoon rainy season (June to September), and a post-monsoon period (October to November).I’ve been riding in China a couple of times, but all that taught me was that it is a bloody huge country with a vast variety of climates. I would certainly stay out of northern China in winter, but I think the whole country should be all right in summer – except for the north-western desert. That would get hot; it’s a long way inland.

Japan should be fine in summer, it’s so broken up by bays, inlets, sea passages and whatnot that the moderating influence of the ocean would be felt just

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1.Yes,Vietnam’s traffic can be chaotic but the riders stay out of each other’s way.

2.Time to cool down the brakes. Driving a truck in South-East Asian summer is a tough gig.

3. There are places in South-East Asia where you can rent bigger bikes – like Borneo.

3

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about everywhere. The high country that forms the spine of Honshu and all of Hokkaido ought to be wonderful.

New Zealand

Unzud is fine in summer. Indeed, February offers the best weather of the whole year. Just watch out for school holidays, when the Australians and the locals clog the roads with camper vans and Trekkas. We run a couple of motorcycle tours of the South Island in summer, check out the offers (somewhere else in the magazine) which are hard to beat.

New Zealand is a wonderful place for camping, with institutions like the Commons* and the Queen’s Chain** making setting up a tent or throwing down a swag convenient and a pleasure.

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1. It can be dry in summer in India.These fire buckets contain sand, not water.

2. Some of the most interesting motorcycle models never make it out of Japan.

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T R AV E L

2 1 The many changes in altitude make it possible to move with the temperature – up when it’s hot, down when it’s cool. As well as that, the West Coast of the South Island can often be relied upon to be cooler than anywhere else in the country.

The weather is variable, but if you’re flexible about where exactly you go you can usually find a pleasant outlook. *Many if not most towns have welllooked after commons, grassy areas where camping is free and services like showers and even kitchens may be provided. **Thank Queen Victoria for the Queen’s Chain. According to the NZ Herald, “It has become a catch-all term for strips of publicly owned land next to the foreshore, rivers and lakes, initially set aside for access but also increasingly used for conservation.

“The chain refers to an early surveyor's tool made of 100 links, a total of 66ft or 20m. Queen Victoria

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1.The West Coast usually offers cooler riding even if the rest of Unzud is hot.

2.Yes, those are genuine redwood trees. No, that’s not California. It’s New Zealand.

3. New Zealand in summer is pretty close to paradise.

instructed New Zealand Governor William Hobson in 1840… to select particular sites for roads, quays, recreation and amusement, and promoting health.” It seems that you may promote your health by camping there, among other things like fishing.

AUSTRALIA

It’s worth remembering that Australia is a continent and has the appropriate number of different ‘summers’, some of which can be a wee bit extreme. A

3 truckie told a friend of mine that he’d once found an abandoned motorcycle somewhere on the Nullarbor, with footsteps leading away from the road at a right angle. Being a decent bloke, he didn’t just sling the bike onto the back of his truck and drive off; he followed

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1 the steps and the occasional discarded items of clothing until he found the rider, half stripped and unconscious.

Once he was revived, he was unable to explain why he’d stopped and trekked off into the desert, shedding his gear.

Summer in Australia can bite you. Hard.

But there are many places which offer summer fun. I’m not going to list them all here, but I’ll suggest a few that you might not think of. There’s the Atherton Tableland in FNQ, a relatively cool bit of high country with some lovely roads. If you’re a Queenslander and just after a short trip, consider Mount Tambourine instead of the usual blast to Mt Nebo. The Victorian High Country also offers some wonderful riding, but you might want knobby tyres for a lot of it. In WA, Margaret River and surrounds provide pleasant sea breezes. And of course Tassie can usually be relied on to not actually cook you – especially on the West

1. Beware! Some Tassie roads just lead… nowhere…

2. Even in northern Queensland, the high country of the ranges offers milder summer temperatures.

Coast. Ride the Western Explorer and stay a night or two in Corinna.

As for the rest of the country, just make sure that you wear good summer gear – there is a lot of it on the market nowadays, as we’ve shown you – and stop regularly for a drink.

Of water. PT D

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event

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AUSTRALIAN HISTORIC ROAD RACE

CHAMPIONSHIPS Old dungas…still tearin’ it up WORDS STuArT PHOTOS VArIouS

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EVENT Three clowns…sitting on a wall…discussing race strategy.

Or is that, “What’s for dinner tonight? Frankfurt again?”

M

OTHER NATURE turned on great weather for the fourday meeting at Wakefield Park Raceway just outside Goulburn NSW for the recent 2017 Australian Historic Road Race Championships. Solo classes for the event range from really old (1920) to getting old (1990) and of course there are those mad men and ladies racing sidecars.

The smell of methanol, racing 2-stroke and Avgas filled the country air to help satisfy anyone’s petrol head addiction.

The event includes a day of practice, day of qualifying and two days of racing. I was there with my mate Chris and our rider was his IoMTT racer son, Alex. The two bikes we took along were our Suzuki GSX1100 racing in Period 5 Unlimited and the Yamaha FZR1000 racing in Period 6 Formula 1300.

We faced some top class competition in our two classes, as did most other classes with some amazingly fast and tight racing. For Period 5 Unlimited the four main contenders were Irish and IoMTT road racer, Paul Byrne (McIntosh Suzuki), Aussie superbike racer, Chas Hern (T-Rex Honda), ex-250 proddie racer, Ken Watson (Yamaha TZ750) and Alex. This is also how they qualified. In the first race we unfortunately couldn’t send Alex out as the big CR carbs on the GSX decided to overflow with fuel. This would essentially end our chances of this bike taking Alex to the podium, due to a zero point score where our competition scored 25, 20 and 18; but it didn’t stop him from coming from the back of

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the grid in the second race to finish third. He then went on to finish third in the next two races with the fastest lap of the race in the final race on the Sunday afternoon.

In Period 6 there were a few more contenders for the podium – Supersport and Superbike racer, Aaron Morris (Yamaha FZR1000), Superbike racer, Chas Hern (Yamaha FJ1200), Alex on our Norton/ Yamaha FZR1000, Superbike racer, Murray Clark (Suzuki GSX-R1100) and super quick classic racer, Steve Kairl (Yamaha FZR1000). This is how they lined up and finished in the first race.

As our FZR1000 is essentially still a brand new bike, Chris, Alex and I have a lot to learn and sort out with most areas of the bike. It’s not far away from being right but learning how, what, why with this bike costs quite a bit of time on the stopwatch. Alex got fourth in the second race as we tried a tune up that cost us most of our top end power. For the third race we’d got most of this power back but it wasn’t until the last race that Alex could really start to use some of the package that we’ve got. He was all over the back of Chas Hern on his lightning fast T-Rex Racing FJ1200 but sat behind as passing him wouldn’t have made any

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EVENT

1 1. Great mates with a good result.

2. Stuart – “So, what’s it like”?!

difference to the final result. A third place for the FZR1000 in P6 Formula 1300 at an Australian title meeting is something we can be happy with for a bike (and crew) who have a lot more sorting out to do!

In the other classes there are a couple of standout performances that deserve a mention. Stephen Craig,

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riding a Kawasaki ZXR400 won the Period 6 750 class.

Yep, a 400 beat the big boys and boy did Stephen ride his heart out – it was amazing to watch. Stephen also dominated the Period 6 500 class, winning by a country mile in each race. The same went for another Stephen – Stephen Ward who cleared off into the distance on his Armstrong 250 to win each 2 race in Period 5 250 – a class act. And to round it off for the Steves, Steve Kairl was another class act on his Yamaha TZ350 in Period 5 350 tying for the win with Glen Kelleher who on count back got the overall win. Steve did take Period 5 500, though, winning each race and making the 250 Proddie boys work hard to beat a much older bike!

Fastest lap of the meeting went

to Aaron Morris on the C&M Motorcycles Yamaha FZR1000 in Period 6 Formula 1300 with a blistering 1:00.776 and I would dare say this would be a lap record for this class by at least a couple of seconds.

The management at Wakefield Park Raceway said the AHRRC has been the biggest meeting ever held at the facility and judging by the number of spectators I can well believe that it was the biggest crowd to ever attend a meeting there. I even got to meet a couple of you, our awesome readers, who came out and watched the great historic racing action.

Where to next for the big GSX and FZR? Well, I think we’re going to give the GSX a bit of a birthday and really give it a well-deserved tidy up.

The FZR – we’re planning to take it to the Island Classic in January with Alex riding but if we don’t it will certainly be at The Festival of Speed in March where I’ll probably give it a whirl, but much more slowly than Alex! LOL! Back to the garage and late nights improving the FZR from what we now know! D

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30/11/17 1:29 pm

event

Kawasaki Z900RS and Café reveal

Get in line! This bad boy will be popular! WORDS/photos STUaRT

T

he rumours of a retro Z900 Kawasaki have been circulating for the past couple of years. Most of the other manufacturers have released one or another interesting retro model but I have to say that Kawasaki has taken the cake with the new Z900RS and Café versions. They are beautiful looking bikes in photos, and in the metal they’re simply stunning.

I headed along to hipster café, Deus Ex Machina in Sydney to witness the reveal to the Australian press and Kawasaki Team Green members. I also took original Z1 owner and friend, Nigel along for the viewing as I reckon he’ll be

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placing his deposit on one as soon as he can. To have a concourse original Jaffa and a new one that he can ride every day would be pretty special.

The retro Z900RS and Café are based on the current Z900 but with a slightly retuned engine, more focused on mid-range torque than outright power.

The focus has also been on the finer build quality details and to say both bikes look a class above is about right.

This will also attract a premium on the price tag. For the RS Jaffa colour you’re looking at $17,999 ride away.

Kawasaki mentioned to me the Jaffa colour is actually the ‘SE’ version with the Café coming early next year along with a more basic coloured version of the RS. Expect the Café version to be around the $18,499 mark and the basic version around $16,499.

These two prices weren’t

confirmed but I reckon my estimates will be pretty close.

The folk at Deus were given two pre-production bikes to ‘customise’ as part of the reveal and for display at the Sydney Motorcycle Show. One was based on a flat tracker style and the other styled on Gooses’ MFP bike from Mad Max. I and most of the onlookers were a little confused with the ‘styling’ Deus had used for these bikes. The reaction online also hasn’t been kind to Deus. I don’t wish to make any further comment regarding these bikes but to say that they’ve missed the mark is an understatement.

Back to the beauties… I got to sit on both bikes and the RS Jaffa feels very similar to the original Z1with a great seating position with the high handlebar. In the mood lighting at Deus the build quality and finish on both the RS and Café look amazing. I’m a paint man and love show quality paint – which both bikes appear to have.

But, that’s enough from the reveal, it isn’t long until we’ll have the RS Jaffa to test – hopefully in the next issue!

(Fingers crossed). D

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AUNCH TL E A R O U T M A P #5 9

GOING UP Bega to Cooma, NSW WORDS THE BEAR

W

E RECENTLY RODE this route, and it brought back so many pleasant memories that I really wanted to share it. There wasn’t room in the main story – in this issue or the next – so I thought I’d better do a map. The south of NSW, especially the coast and nearby hilly

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country, is full of wonderful rides but this is one of the best.

Highway. Once a staid stopover for fuel and little else on the way between Melbourne and Sydney, Bega has become a thoroughly modern place with open-air cafés and all the other services you might want, including a modern hospital.

Oops, strike that last phrase…

You’ll find no shortage of things to do. Apart from the cheese factory just out of town to the north, there’s Tathra on the coast with its giant pier and beaches and lots of excellent riding all around. Ben Boyd and Mimosa Rocks national parks are well worth visiting.

BEGA

NUMBUGGA

No, it’s not just a brand of cheese but a buzzing, stylish town not far from the coast, on the Princes

Numbugga has a population of more than 300 people, but I’m buggered if I know where they hang out. The place

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BEGA TO COOMA, NSW

T

his route includes one of Australia’s favourite motorcycle roads, Brown Mountain. While I can remember when a lot of these roads were gravel, or at best haphazardly tarred, all of this route is now well surfaced.

Head north from Bega along the Princes Highway to the Snowy Mountains Highway turnoff just north of town. The road is fun and relatively lightly travelled, and becomes a lot of fun when you reach the scarp of the Great Dividing Range and Brown Mountain. Once a bit of a scare ride due to the masses of leaf litter deposited on the road, especially in corners, it is now squeaky clean and beautifully maintained. It looks as if they sweep it…

Continue north, and turn left at the junction with the Monaro Highway towards Bombala. Don’t miss the turnoff to the right leading to Dalgety and Jindabyne; some maps still have this as partly gravel, but it is all surfaced now. In Dalgety, turn left and then right opposite the pub, crossing the Snowy River. This road meets the

Barry Way just outside Jindabyne; turn right to get to town.

From Jindabyne, take the Thredbo road and continue to follow the Snowy Mountains Way through Tom Groggin and Geehi (once again just localities) to Khancoban. Carry on straight ahead and take the right turn to Cabramurra/Kiandra. This road is occasionally closed in winter. Turn

right at the Cabramurra junction and right again when the road meets the Snowy Mountains Highway at Kiandra. It’s pretty much all the way downhill from here to Adaminaby and eventually Cooma.

I haven’t made much of a big deal about the wonderful roads for the simple reason that every road here is wonderful; go and see.

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KHANCOBAN

A Snowy project town like several others, Khancoban has managed to reinvent itself as a recreational spot, especially for fishing. It’s a green, well-planned little place with a good pub and a cozy motel with a swimming pool. Good stopover in summer. You can also buy your National Park pass here if you’re not just passing through.

CABRAMURRA

is a ‘locality’, which is the Australian map designation for a pole with a sign on it. I suspect Numbugga is even missing that. I just like it for the name.

BEMBOKA

This is actually a real town, albeit a small one. The pub has halfway decent tucker and a relaxed dining room as well as cold beer. It’s about halfway between Bega and the top of Brown Mountain.

DALGETY

Once known as Buckleys Crossing, Dalgety almost became Australia’s THE BEST

IN BRISBANE

capital city. The head of the committee appointed by the Federal Parliament to select a site, King O’Malley, nominated Buckleys Crossing with an ‘aerial tramway’ from the coast. But when the rest of the committee showed up to have a look, the roof had just been blown off the pub and the flies were so bad that everyone beat a quick retreat.

Whether it would have been a better site than Canberra remains a moot question. The pub is still there, with its roof firmly attached, but the servo has closed.

JINDABYNE

Like most ski centres, Jindabyne is pretty quiet outside the season.

It still offers motels, bars, restaurants and a big pub on the shore of Lake Jindabyne. When the water is low, I believe you can see bits of Old Jindabyne, flooded when the Snowy project built the dam just outside town.

The pub has its own small brewery, set up originally by the Malt Shovel Brewery in Sydney’s Camperdown.

Another town built for the Snowy Mountains projects, it is conveniently located up on the mountain. Strictly speaking it is off the route, but it is the only place for fuel between Khancoban and Adaminaby.

KIANDRA

Offering nothing but several photo opportunities, Kiandra is another ‘location’ rather than a town. There are no services.

ADAMINABY

Best known for its large fiberglass trout, one of the better-made ‘Big Things” in Australia, Adaminaby offers a full set of services including a pleasant café just opposite the fish.

COOMA

The Monaro Highway from the north and the Snowy Mountains Highway from the west merge here and continue to the south. Cooma is a fairly big place, once again with all services. A friend of mine once spent some time in hospital here and speaks very highly of it. I’ve always preferred the Alpine Hotel, in the main street, but that’s just me. The publican is motorcycle-friendly and will let you park your bike inside. D

The Pitstop Café, situated on the Mount Mee tourist drive, receives tourists, day travellers, bikers, clubs and locals alike. The Pitstop has perfect views with great coffee and excellent food.

2070a Mount Mee Road, Ocean View, Mt Pleasant, QLD 4521 07 34253652 Open Fri, Sat, Sun

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BiKetest

Benelli TnT 125 Roar of the (little) Lion WORDS STUART photos RALPH

G

o smALL or Go home! The pocket bike phenomenon continues with the introduction of the Benelli TnT 125. It’s a fun little tacker that offers quite a bit of room and funky styling which really does turn heads.

Priced at $3850 ride away including 24 months/unlimited kilometre warranty and 24 months Roadside Assist nationwide, I’m sure you’ll be seeing plenty of these little groovers on the road.

We’ve now tested all three of the mainstream pocket bikes available – the Honda Grom, Kawasaki Z125 Pro and now the TnT 125 and have enjoyed whipping around the suburbs snapping necks as the civilians see ‘the elephant on a bike’ zipping past

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them. They are fun bikes for the city and a very practical machine to own if you’re limited on where you can park a bike.

The Benelli TnT 125’s big feature is size. Of the three main players, the TnT feels the most like a normal sized bike to ride. Even for those with giraffe legs, the high set handlebar gives no interference. As well, on pocket bikes like the TnT the seat height is higher than you’d imagine. The TnT is set at 780mm which is comparable to, say, the new GSX250R at 790mm.

Add in edgy Italian styling with the twin side exit exhausts, trellis frame and LED lighting all round and the TnT 125 makes a neck snapping statement as you ride around.

For a bike of this price bracket, combined braking is an unusual thing to see and while it might work okay on much larger bikes, on a bike with a “fun” tag having combined brakes spoils the fun for me. I am told (by a third party) that ‘uncombining’ the brakes is a relatively easy job if you wished to do it.

The other thing that was a pain is the gear change. Changing up, the lever had its own mind about when it would come back down so you could shift to the next gear. If you backed off the throttle it would come down; or, as I ended up doing, you can double shift the lever to reach the next gear.

Benelli claims that the TnT 125 offers class leading power and torque

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from its twin spark single cylinder engine. It is (relatively) quick off the mark and useful compared to a similar sized scooter where the scoot may struggle to clear the tintops at the traffic light drag race. The TnT clears them just enough before their ‘little bike rage’ sets in and they roar past. I’ve never understood, ‘scooter rage’ as I call it, but for some reason tintop drivers hate a little bike being in front of them – that is until they get stuck in traffic and you zip past and never see them again. Hang on, maybe that’s got something to do with it.

Good fuel consumption makes the TnT 125 an economical choice. With only a 7.2 litre tank, but economy of 3.78L/100km it just takes some

loose change to fill it up. The fuel economy we achieved was riding this little thing with the throttle pinned to the stop 98% of the time, too!

Handling is extremely light, partly thanks to the 12-inch wheels which provide great agility. Just the thing in the urban crawl where the TnT 125 thrives.

The front suspension worked quite well over rough patches of road, but the rear was too soft and would drive the jolt into the seat. A

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BIKE TEST

spring for the monoshock would fix it up.

No accessories are available just yet. The Australian distributor has placed an order with the factory but they are yet to arrive. Expect them to complement the edgy Italian design.

Benelli has rearranged the model lineup recently with small capacity bikes taking priority. The TnT 125 is the smallest capacity and size and is sure to bring in a bucket load of owners seeking something a little edgy but overall fun to zip around on. D

SPECS

BENELLI TnT 125

PRICE: $3850 (ride away) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 6000km or 12 months ENGINE: Air/oil-cooled single cylinder, 4-stroke, SOHC, 4 valves BORE x STROKE: 54 x 54.5mm DISPLACEMENT: 125cc COMPRESSION: 9.8:1 POWER: 8.2kW @ 9500rpm TORQUE: 10Nm @ 7000rpm TRANSMISSION: 5-speed, wet multiplate clutch, chain final drive SUSPENSION: Front, 35mm inverted fork, non-adjustable, travel 120mm.

Rear, monoshock, adjustable preload, travel 50mm.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 780mm, weight 124kg (wet), fuel capacity 7.2 litres, wheelbase 1215mm TYRES: Front, 120/70/ZR12.

Rear, 130/70/ZR12 FRAME: Tubular steel trestle BRAKES: Front, 210mm disc with three-piston CBS caliper. Rear, 190mm disc, single-piston CBS caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 3.78 litres per 100km, premium unleaded THEORETICAL RANGE: 190km COLOURS: Red, White, Black VERDICT: LET THE LITTLE LION ROAR

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WHERE’STHEBEAR And where oh where could that confounded Bear be this month? The answer is easier for residents of one of Australia’s largest cities, but visitors might well get it too. And if your memory is good for stories in these pages that will help, too. I’m looking forward to the answers.

HAPPILY SCOOTERED

HERE’S OUR WINNER! Hi Bear, This is Sandfire Roadhouse, roughly halfway between Port Hedland and Broome in WA. I’ve topped up here with petrol and the odd ice cream plenty of times, having lived in Broome

in the ‘90s (I live in the Eastern States now - as us West Aussies call the rest of the country). From memory, a cyclone levelled the majority of the roadhouse in the early 2000s but it’s good to see, and

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know, it’s up and running these days.

Cheers, Daren Nobody got the ‘Flat’ part of Sandfire, so I presume it’s not generally referred to as that and I forgave everyone who just wrote ‘Sandfire’.

Lock it up, Danno You cannot be too careful with your precious riding gear. What did you pay for your jacket? What about your helmet? Too much to just have them stolen from your parked bike, that’s for sure. Not to mention the inconvenience of getting back home without a helmet!

GearLok is the answer. It has a 1.5 metre long, braided galvanized steel, plastic coated cable and a 4 digit combination lock, to lock your helmet, jacket, backpack or any other accessory to your bike. Once you have

Remember the sound that the old two-stroke scooters made on the overrun? ‘Dock, dock, dock…’

That’s the only clue you’re getting this time. Once again several of you did well in placing the Bear at the Sandfire Flat Roadhouse.

Congratulations, you do get around! But let’s see what you can do with this one, in a location that I’d bet many of you see every day.

But has it registered in your mind?

Answers as always to contactus@ ausmotorcyclist.com.au. finished using it, simply roll up and insert into the neoprene bag provided with the lock.

The cable is long enough to wrap around 2 or 3 helmets, a jacket and a bag, and it costs $38.95. But you can get the set for nothing if you can work out where The Bear is in this photo. And if you miss out, you can buy a set from Rocky Creek Designs - www.rockycreekdesigns.com.au .

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AMM_59_design.indd 57

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5/12/17 11:47 am

PUBOFtHeMOntH

KeeP ON rIDIN’

In search of more than beer WORDS/photos colin whelan

“(A)

good inn exists,” wrote Paul McGuire in his ‘Inns of Australia’ in 1952, “to provide good food, good drink, good beds, with good manners, … (unfortunately there are in the business) too many people unfit for the vocation ….. creatures whose only interest is the profits in beer.”

If you’re reading this in the hope of hearing about a great pub that’ll welcome you and your mates for the day and the night, that will offer up something memorable and make the trip to it worthwhile, I’m sorry but you’re gonna have to come back in a month.

It ain’t uncommon for half, maybe a bit over half even, of the pubs I visit to be marked with a ‘not worth it’ but this month, having been post knee-replacement house-bound for too long I figured a three day break would lift the spirits.

So I pointed Super Ten south from Sydney to find the absolute headwaters of the Lachlan River for the beginning of a yarn about the pubs along its full length, - and to catch up with a couple of other blokes who I figured just might have some stories.

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Now, hands up any old rider who’s travelled the Hume and not been booked at Breadalbane before the bypass went in! Or Bookham, or Tarcutta or Holbrook! Ah the good old days before everything was filmed.

The days when you’d fold a tenner inside your paper licence in your wallet so it’d just fall out when you produced for the plod! Although I remember the bloke at Tarcutta would want double that to walk back to his car.

Nowadays Breadalbane is a billabong.

The straightening of the Hume has seen it become a quiet backwater, and also seen its last remaining pub close.

The source of the Lachlan is behind the old cemetery just out from the town. The black cattle eye me but then mostly ignore me as I wade through the grass to get some shots.

Then it’s up the road a bit to catch up with Shlomi, who, with his wife and daughters, lives in the old Breadalbane Inn, established by a bloke named Lodge in the 1860’s.

In 1863 the place was held up by bushrangers and 110 years before Patty Hearst fell in love with her kidnappers and made the term famous, Lodge embraced his

‘Stockholm Syndrome’ and threw his lot in with Frank Gardiner, Ben Hall and the Clarke Brothers.

Suspecting (rightly) that he was trading information for a cut from the robbery proceeds, the cops retaliated by busting Lodge for major crimes like ‘permitting drunkeness’ and ‘allowing music and dancing’.

When Lodge dislodged, the pub was taken over by John Hannan who’s buried just up the road.

I get all this info from Shlomi, who knows it all. The story flows easily. He knows it; it’s part of him and he’s part of it. At some stage the pub’s name changed to its current Sweetwood Lea and as we stand on the front porch, Shlomi shows me a find from cleaning the attic: John Hannan’s 1876 Publican’s License.

It’s a bloody shame this place isn’t still a pub with a publican like Shlomi running it. A place with history and a custodian who cares is the elusive combination!

The three pubs of Breadalbane were the closest to the beginnings of the Lachlan’s waters and after bidding Israeli Shlomi ‘shalom’ I head up to the local cemetery to check out John

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Hannan’s grave. An eastern brown slides elegantly away as I search for the headstone and then it’s off to the nearest operating pub, where I’ve got a date.

I’ve barely knocked the head off my first beer when Greg shows up. He’s a very keen local historian and lives just up the road in the old Temperance Hall. He’s brought a mate, and another one, an ex-shearer should be here soon.

We find a quiet corner at the far end of the bar and barman does this sort of ‘really?’ double take when I ask that seeing as we’re the only paying customers up this end, could he turn down the television just a bit: it’d help my voice recorder.

Robin, the ex-shearer turns up.

I buy a round and we get stuck into the stories.

Sometime down the track Robin tells of ‘boutique shearing’ for Sir Walter Merriman.

“In the entire day I only shore 3 and a half sheep. They were show sheep and the wool left on had to be exactly this long all over. Could only do it with blades, not with machines. He paid us day rates when we were doing

this special stuff ”.

He illustrates the length of the cut with his fingers and once again I’m reminded of how eloquent hands can be, how the fingers and knuckles, the skin and the scars have a massive vocabulary of their own.

Eventually, Greg and his mates have to shoot. We’ve been yacking for near

on a couple of hours and they’ve all gotta get home for tea. My cheeks are tight from laughing and I’ve got more yarns, more gossip, more tales, more insights and historical gumph than I thought I had a chance of getting. It’s been a good evening.

(Later young Greg SMS’s me and in part his message reads, “Great stories. I

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P UB OF THE MONTH

wonder if I will have such stories.”)

It’s schnitzy Tuesday but this deep fried special is sold out so there’s only deep fried fish and chips (battered in some far off city) and lamb cutlets.

I’m trying to cut down on the deep fried stuff so I go for the cutlets.

Which turn up quickly.

Deep fried. (Must be the standard menu down that part of the woods if you take the menu from last month! #58 – Ed) After a day of luxuriating on the serpentine roads of the Upper Lachlan, I get to Gundaroo and it’s still two hours until the Colonial Inn opens at 4pm. I decide to just hang

60

Gundaroo Colonial – great pub out, and post a shot – sadly no accommodation from the ride on FB. Immediately a bloke in Canberra comments that he’s doing nothing, headed to Canberra. His daughter and son-in-law now own the Colonial Inn. am I sticking around Les, too, has hands which are and could I do with a expressive of a life well lived and he’s ride buddy?

Well ‘yes’ to all that so happy to have them photographed.

He reckons Choppie is a top I wait in the sunshine manager and we agree but with the for the pub to open, arvo moving on, the Colonial not for the sun to fall just having any accommodation and not enough to enable a decent shot of the pub, wishing to bump into any of our and for Adrian to front crepuscular critters, Adrian and I head up. All three materialise out for the scenic ride through the hills to the west of Lake George. about the same time You know how, when you’ve left (Adrian on his military Royal Enfield) and we the country and arrived in the bush, the outback, the drivers coming the head inside for a long awaited beer.

Choppie, the manager welcomes us other way all give you that single finger wave? How they just laconically lift inside. He asks us where we’re from, one index finger from the wheel in a takes an interest in what brought us here, shows us around the walls. He’s kinda digital g’day?

You’ll find locals in friendly pubs proud of the place and keen to share it. Pretty soon old Les Murphy turns do the same thing with their drinking hand when you walk in. Drink to up. At 92 Choppie reckons, “he’s the mouth, they’ll turn their heads, not ceiling of our customers. We serve from 18 just eyes, and lift that same index year olds to Les”. finger off the glass to indicate you’re Les arrived from Ireland’s County Down in 1975, forever doubly grateful welcome in their place.

When we head inside a couple of that the gunman who took a shot at locals are at the bar chatting with the him at the height of ‘the troubles’ barstaff woman. The drinkers don’t was a poor shot. He resigned from the local post office the next day and turn their heads, only their eyes follow

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Les’ hand – some stories right there

us. No finger leaves the glass and the conversation doesn’t miss a beat, but when, eventually there’s a pause, we get asked what we’d like.

I order a softie. I’d been booked in

here for the night but now I know I’ve still some riding to do.

There is no pause in the discussion up the bar. The barmaid keeps chatting with the locals, only punctuating it with a cursory advisory as to how much we owe her. Apart

from that she ignores us.

Adrian and I take our drinks out to the front porch and when we’re done, we gear up. He heads south back to Canberra and I head more east, looking for a place that doesn’t roll out the red carpet but which simply acknowledges my existence and just a few of my preferences.

As I get moving, I collect my thoughts. I’ve come across four hosts: One in an ex-hotel, one doing a great job in a place with no accommodation, restricted hours but unrestricted hospitality. The other two, running places that could so easily be ‘go-to destination’ pubs for riders, are simply not living up to another Paul McGuire quote which comes into my head: “A people gets the pubs that it deserves”.

To which I add as I ride out: “If they are lucky, very lucky”. D

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ONTHEROAD

KTM 1290

SUPERDUKE GT WORDS THE BEAR PHOTOS GIL SCHILLING/FACTORY

I

T’S A REASONABLE enough question, although of course it is nobody else’s business.

“Why do you need 127 kilowatts on a motorcycle?”

I didn’t really know the answer until I was halfway down the Putty Road, and then it dawned on me: you don’t.

You don’t need 127 kW or, as in my case, 20% or so less. That discrepancy is between Sport and Rain mode; Stuart had set the bike to rain mode when he handed it over to me and wagged his finger.

“Leave it in rain mode,” he said.

“If you turn it to Sport you will flip it over backwards and many bad things will befall you.”

“Not literally, surely?” I asked. He did that cross-eyed look of his and smiled. Literally, I gathered.

“So what if it rains?” I asked, a little apprehensive by now.

“Then you’re stuffed,” he said. “Stuffed.”

It didn’t rain, and out on the Putty, even using the restricted power that rain mode offers, I realised that you need that much horsepower simply because it is an almost insane amount of fun.

Of course it helps if it is delivered by a motorcycle that has the pinsharp handling and staggering braking of the Superduke, including cornering ABS. I reckon you could do tonsillectomies with this bike.

Just have the rider hit the Brembos hard, and chop off the tonsils as they emerge from his mouth.

“What about appendectomies?” asked my mate Bad Bob who is, believe it or not, a surgeon.

“No,” I said. “You’d need full power for that.”

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The reason some of us need bikes like this is because… well, because.

Because they’re there, and that insane bodywork and exhaust note say: “Reckon you can reach Warp Speed?

Give it a go.”

Speaking for me, myself, personally I don’t need this kind of bike except occasionally when I’m stuck in the little thoughts and little concerns of my little life – and I want to go big for a, well, a little while. I put about a thousand kilometres on the KTM in a couple of days and I admit that I took it to speeds which reinterpreted the speed limits a little. I also swooped around some cars, vans and trucks like a crazed orange and silver magpie, although I did not peck any of them.

I even encountered an iridescent blue Highway Patrol car.

I was going this way, behind a delivery van, and I got tired of it.

So I passed him, almost instantly acquiring

a ground speed just a bit short of escape velocity in the process. I tucked back in and braked gently, and the patrol car came that way. I suspect the van was bigger in his radar than the Superduke, because at the speed I was still doing it would still have been well worth his while to chuck a handbrakey and ask me about the reasons for my behaviour. As they do, which really annoys me, by the way.

“Is there any reason why you were doing (insert absurdly low excess over speed limit) sir?”

“Yes. Because motorcycles fall over if you go too slowly.” I only wish I had the nerve…

So my conclusion about this motorcycle is that you should go and ride one, if you’re competent enough. And even if you are, leave it in rain mode for a little while whether it’s raining or not. D

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Apparel INDY JACKET • COMBINATION OF A GRADE LEATHER & HIGH STRENGTH MESH • CE APPROVED REMOVABLE SHOULDER, ELBOW & BACK PROTECTORS • REMOVABLE WATERPROOF LINER • ADJUSTABLE WAIST WITH ZIPPER AND BUTTON TABS • 3 x EXTERNAL POCKETS • 1 x LARGE INTERNAL POCKET • 1x PHONE POCKET BIG ENOUGH FOR A SMART PHONE • XS- 4XL • $329.95 RRP INC GST

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5/12/17 11:46 am

TECHNICAL

A LOOK AT A I

CLASSIC

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F YOU ARE AFTER a classic sports bike that is a definite top future investment, a Honda RC30 is a fantastic option. We take a look at what was and still is an ultradesirable piece of exotica.

The World Superbike Championship (WSBK) had been conceived and manufacturers the world over were scrambling to build winning street homologated racers to take maximum

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Year: 1987 - 1990 Make: Honda Model: RC30

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TECHNICAL

advantage of this potential marketing marvel. It was the late 1980s, a decade of excesses and spiralling technology.

Millions of dollars in tobacco and alcohol sponsorship were on the table and engineers were rubbing their hands together with the thoughts of high spec, no expense spared dream racers. Words like titanium, aluminium, magnesium and carbonfibre were rolling off the tongues of salivating, frothing-at-the-mouth designers. And the public were about to be gifted with technologies not yet

The price NEW: Don’t ask!

USED: A decent condition but well used RC30 will set you back between $25,000 and $30,000. An immaculate low mileage example is by negotiation and usually well over 35k! (if you can find one!).

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seen on the street. As long as you had the cash you could own the bikes that were winning on TV on Sunday arvo… What a time that must have been for the lucky few – particularly if you had the big bucks to buy a Honda VFR750R RC30…

Wayne Gardner was the reigning World 500 Grand Prix Champion and Honda was dominating the World Endurance Championship (WEC) scene with the RVF750 (RC45). But that was not enough.

Sochiro Honda wanted to continue riding that winning wave. He wanted to prove to the world that Honda could build the best superbike in the world. And you could buy one and ride it to the shops on Sunday.

With a price tag more than double that of most road-going sports 750s of the time, the RC30 was a serious motorcycle. Okay, it was not the most powerful at a mere 83.5kW, and for what are essentially two V-twins, torque was not that impressive either at 69.1Nm. But at only 180kg dry, nothing could get close to an RC30 on the scales – or in the corners.

At a glance Colours - Red, white and blue Claimed Power - 83.5kW [112hp] @9500rpm Claimed Torque - 69.1Nm [51ft-lbs] @7000rpm Dry Weight - 180kg Fuel Capacity - 18L Chassis - Handmade aluminium Suspension - Telescopic fully adjustable conventional forks and single-sided swingarm with fully adjustable Showa shock Brakes - Four-piston calipers, 300mm rotors

And it wasn’t about power. HRC engineers, with absolutely no limits from the bean counters hindering design parameters, set out to build a bike with not only the most tractable and controllable power deliver on the planet – but with an exotic handmade chassis to match.

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To be eligible for WSBK competition, a minimum of number of machines had to be sold to road going customers. But this was far from a daily ride. The 748cc 16-valve gear-driven DOHC 90º V4 liquidcooled four-stroke 360º big bang engine was made up of inspiring

componentry. Titanium conrods that were eight times more expensive than traditional ‘rods, forged alloy pistons with short skirts, a single compression and single oil control ring and ultra tight tolerances, cylinders cast into the top horizontally split crankcases, steel

valves with special Stellite coating, a slipper clutch limiting back-torque and magnesium engine covers.

Trick stuff that is only recently being introduced on mass-produced sports bikes…

That glorious V4 is lubricated by an intricate trochoid pump system that

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TECHNICAL

feeds the gearbox and clutch, plus the main oil gallery via the oil filter and oil cooler.

The ignition system on the RC30 was high tech and expensive to produce in its day, although it’s unremarkable now. A CDI system with a pre-programmed ignition curve was used and the fuelling system was via four 38mm Keihin downdraft CV carburettors, giving smoother throttle operation than flat slides. It is a non-pressurised gravity feed system filtered via a paper filter and relatively small airbox by today’s standards.

One component that seemed to skip the no expense spared claims is the exhaust system. In order to meet stringent emission and noise regulations, the heavy and tortuously routed system knocks a fair bit of top end out of the bike. But if you had a stock bike, you’d never de-devalue it with an aftermarket system (despite our photo bike

The bad • • •

Price Many examples raced and trashed Rear tyre availability

The good • • •

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Increasing value Best steering in history Glorious V4 big bang HRC engine

having one) unless you got your hands on a genuine HRC titanium system – but that’s a dream!

The WEC and F1 derived handmade aluminium frame and RVF750 inspired Elf designed single-sided swingarm were incredibly compact and lightweight.

Even by today’s standards, the RC30 is tiny. Smaller than most 250s and certainly a lot more compact than a modern 750.

With Showa conventional forks that were the top spec available in their day, complete with quickrelease axle mounts a la World Endurance – and a trick fully adjustable Showa shock with HRC engineered linkages, the RC30 was a seriously well-handling motorcycle.

In fact, Wayne Gardner still rates the bike as the best steering motorcycle he has ever raced. “It’s

almost as good as the endurance racers I won the 8 Hour on back in the day”.

The RC30 won the inaugural WSBK Championship, just as Sochiro Honda predicted, in the hands of Fred Merkel, backed up the following year with another win by the same talented rider. That same year Carl Fogarty won the World F1 Championship on the bike and Steve Hislop set the first ever 120mph lap of the Isle Of Man TT course. From there the bike went on to win multiple championships around the world, including here in the hands of Mal Campbell, Troy Corser and Anthony Gobert. A legend was born and the RC30 to this day is the most successful world championship winning four-cylinder Japanese motorcycle of all time and one of the most expensive and collectable Japanese bikes ever made. D

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ONtHerOaD

DESERT DUTY Ducati Desert Sled

WORDS THE BEAR PHOTOS the bear/FACTORY

I

t was probably not the absolutely ideal environment in which to ride a dirt bike, even one which Ducati itself sees in the “easy off-road” sector, but you take what you can get. In this case, that was a day at the 2017 Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride in Sydney. I’ve put together a little pictorial story about it as well, but I would guess that you have a pretty good idea of what it involves.

That’s right, standing around admiring everyone’s customized or otherwise remarkable motorcycles, going for a short ride and then drinking beer and telling lies. Pretty much the usual weekend activity, except this is for charity and involves more dressing up than usual. It’s a lot of fun, especially when people come up to you and admire your bike. A few of them did exactly that, both at the start and during the mid-ride break at Government House.

The most common reaction was, “Hey, the real Scrambler” or “Is this standard?” followed by “I’ve been waiting for this.” A really positive reaction to the bike which, according to one bloke, was what Ducati should have been building all along.

I’ll add my tick of approval to the overwhelming judgement. Not that I’d trade my Iconic Scrambler, to which I have become deeply attached, but if I wanted to go ride fire trails on the weekend and channel Steve McQueen I’d definitely be up for one. The ‘70s look that Ducati is shooting for is spot on, and even if the paint of the white bike I was riding was quite clearly a tribute to the Yamaha XT550 the bike has a personality and appeal all of its own.

Riding it in traffic and the back roads of Erskineville turned out to be enjoyable as well. You’re never going to need the reinforced extra-strong frame in the city, but the geometry changes and the tougher, longer 200mm travel adjustable suspension do a good job. There’s a 19 inch wheel at the front. Riding position is pretty much bolt upright with good ergonomics. At 860mm the seat is high, but there is a 20mm lower alternative. The seat is what it is; it was the first thing I changed on my Scrambler but it’s no worse than the seats on similar bikes.

And that brings us to an interesting question indeed.

What, if any, are the similar bikes?

Just about every major brand has a model that could be seen as a competitor for the Desert Sled.

The Japanese ones are a lot cheaper but lack the level of equipment and sophisticated technology. Those from Europe match the Desert Sled more closely in technology and price, but they don’t make it in nostalgic appeal.

I mean, my choice of “easy offroad” motorcycle has long been either the BMW F 700 (or whatever they’re calling it this week) GS or one of the Triumph Tigers. But let’s face it.

Neither of them allow me to channel Steve McQueen… D

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B O X I N G D A Y S P E C I A L S Special Feature

DECK THE HALLS WITH LOTS OF VALUE Stop thinking about it and get some of this stuff COMPILED BY STUART

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sUally wE Do a Christmas present special each year, but with this issue going on sale only a handful of days before the fat man tumbles down the chimney we thought that we’d ask the various distributors for their ‘Boxing Day Specials’. If you really hurry I suppose you could get that last-minute Xmas present, or even count one of these bargains as a late Xmas present; but they mainly serve as excellent ways of investing some of that cash that Santa brought you from unimaginative relatives. So here is what the various distributors want to suggest you storm the shops or melt their internet servers for!

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S P E C I A L F E AT U R E

BMW MOTORRAD

www.bmwmotorrad.com.au or your local dealer

Boxing Day Specials detachable – with the lower sections on, they can be fitted with knee protectors, and with the lower sections off, they convert into stylish Bermuda shorts.

And the large cargo pocket has space for your mobile, sunglasses and other essentials of city living.

Available in sizes XS-4XL.

weight and easy going. A sports fit, safe and cool from every angle.

Available in four colour options – Black, Black/grey/flouro, Ivory/ grey/red, Black/ivory/orange and in sizes S–3XL.

Cool down vest - $175 This outstandingly functional vest uses evaporation to cool you on your ride. Wet the jacket, and the HyperKewl system locks in the moisture and slowly releases it for up to eight hours, reducing the heat by 6 to 12°C compared to the ambient temperature.

At the same time, your clothing stays perfectly dry. To repeat as often as you’d like, just wet the jacket again. The ultra-lightweight garment fits comfortably beneath all BMW Motorrad summer-weight textile jackets. Available in sizes XS-2XL. Summer trousers - $420 The Summer trousers combine timeless elegance with a contemporary trekking style. The bottoms of the legs are

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AirShell jacket - $950 Keep things light and airy at the height of summer, and then warm and dry in spring and autumn: this lightweight jacket is especailly versatile and is ideal for city traffic with its neon colouring. The bright yellow material is a combination of two fabrics – polyamide provides excellent abrasion resistance, while polyester prevents discoloration.

Available in Men’s 46-60 and Ladies’ 34-48.

LINK INTERNATIONAL

www.linkint.com.au or your local bike shop Macna Event jacket - $199.95 A thoroughbred summer jacket: loads of mesh, light

Merlin Derrington leather jacket - $499 Authentic styling to the last stitch but with the benefits of modern technology and production.

This jacket is constructed from premium quality oil tanned cow’s hide leather and fitted with YKK zippers throughout. It also has a quick detach thermal gilet liner.

English Marton Mills tartan inner panels add to the Heritage styling.

Safety is provided via premium SW CE armour in the elbows and shoulders with a removable foam

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back protection panel. Comfort is enhanced by a mesh drop liner for improved comfort and breathability.

Storage is provided with internal and

external pockets, plus there is an adjustment waist to get the fit just right. Available in sizes S (38) to 4XL (50).

Nelson-Rigg GPS Mate - Strap mount $59.95, Magnetic $69.95 Available with either magnetic or strap mount fitment, this handy tank bag is made from top quality UV treated Tri-Max Ballistic Nylon with Fibretech accents. Reverse coil zippers help keep out dust and dirt and there’s a multi angle adjustable clear pocket.

It is touch screen friendly for a GPS and there’s an additional clear pocket that’s touch screen friendly for a smart phone. This bag comes with a lifetime warranty as well.

INDIAN MOTORCYCLE

www.indianmotorcycle.com/en-au or your local dealer Indian Motorcycle Shot Glasses - $40 Indian Motorcycle Shot Glasses are the perfect gift for any man caver or motorcycling enthusiast. The set includes four unique dishwasher safe 60ml glasses. Comes with a stylish

Designs born from a life on the road.

(03) 9786 3445 facebook.com/andy.strapz

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S P E C I A L F E AT U R E

Boxing Day Specials transport work attire such as business suits, dresses, shirts or a uniform, plus your laptop and other tech devices and everyday essentials – all conveniently packed in a slick and stylish backpack.

This latest version is weatherproof without the need for the rain cover.

cylinder branded retro tin and I reckon they’d look perfect at my place!

MONZA IMPORTS

compatible, has X-Static and XT-2 padding and comes with an industryleading five-year warranty. Available in sizes XS–XXL.

ROCKY CREEK DESIGNS

www.rockycreekdesigns.com.au

www.monzaimports.com.au

Bell RS-2 helmet – from $399.95 New for 2018, the Bell RS-2 helmet features a 3-shell (lightweight fibreglass), 3 EPS system with a dropdown sunshield offering “on the fly” protection from the sun. It is eyewear Headdress Metal keyring - $34 This Indian Motorcycle Headdress keyring and bottle opener is a great gift and practical for on-the-go enthusiasts.

Featuring the iconic headdress and made from 100% metal alloy, this useful tool is 8cm long and a genuine piece of Americana.

HENTY

https://henty.cc Wingman backpack - $249 The Wingman Backpack is a multipurpose suit and garment bag that enables easy and versatile all weather commuting and travel. It allows you to

Gearlok - $38.95 GearLok has a 1.5 metre long, braided galvanized steel, plastic coated cable and a 4 digit combination lock, to lock your helmet, jacket, backpack or any other accessory to your bike.

Once you have finished using it, simply roll up and insert into the neoprene bag provided with the lock. The cable is long enough to wrap around two or three helmets, a jacket and a bag.

Motopressor Jump Starter - $98.95 This mini jump starter is light and tucks into a tank bag, top box or pannier. Includes a recharging plug

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suitable for both BMW (merit) sockets and normal car type accessory sockets. Tested on a bike with a dead flat battery, the guys at Rocky Creek got 15+ starts out of it. It also carries a USB port,1/4 5V/2.1A USB accessory cable which plugs into different devices and has an LED flash light with 3 modes. One of the best accessories you could ever want for motorcycling, the car and even around the home.

PUMP IT!

A

5

RA

YE

» Weighs only 570g » Inflate a low or flat

NTY

ULTRA COMPACT POCKET PUMP R WAR tyre quickly and safely » Ideal for use on motorcycles, ATV’s and scooters

S

SP

45º

CK

I

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WARRA

» Measures PSI or KPA » 0-60 PSI/0-4.2 KPA read out » 50mm (2”) analogue dial » 300mm (12”) braided flex hose » Push button air bleed valve » Protective rubber gauge guard » Self-locking air chuck PLUS A

LUD NC E

AR

H

NT

MONT

TYRE GAUGE

Y

CHECK IT!

E CHU

SECOND 45° chuck for those hard to get to valves

Motopressor Mini Pump - $79.95 MotoPressor Mini Pump enables you to pre-select your tyre pressure. The pump automatically switches off at the pre-selected pressure. You also have the option to power the pump off the MotoPressor Jump

LOCK IT! GEARLOK LOCK & CABLE

» Re-settable 4 digit combination lock

» Soft silicone cover to protect lock and bike parts

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TH

AN

plastic coated steel cable

TY

» 5 ft long, 5mm thick MON

Readers - $32 How often do you leave your glasses at home when you need them? Usually you have a phone or keys with you, so what better place to store your glasses!

Just reach for your phone or keys, slide the Readers out of the Pod or Case and pop them on your nose.

Simple! Pod Readers stick to the back of a phone, or inside a wallet/purse/pocket while keychain Readers slide inside the case, keeping them safe.

WARR

Lock your helmet, jacket, backpack, or any other accessory to your motorcycle.

Available online from

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S P E C I A L F E AT U R E

Boxing Day Specials Starter (sold separately). The pump offers a no nonsense five year product warranty and comes in a sturdy case.

YAMAHA MOTOR – www.yamaha-motor.com.au or your local dealer

2017 MotoGP VR46 Polo Shirt - $79 Made from 100% cotton with a large number 46 on the front and the

Roughroad ADVENTURE SPORTS STYLE RUKKA SUIT THIS SUIT CAN DO IT ALL

EXACTLY HALFWAY BETWEEN WINDSOR AND SINGLETON

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Clubs and groups welcome - phone ahead for quicker service Cafe Style Food Giftwares Toilets/Showers

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Air Conditioned Free 24 hour Camping Open 7 days 7.00am to 5.00pm and by appointment for evening functions

8679 Putty Rd, Putty NSW. Ph: 02 6579 7015

sales@innotesco.com.au • Tel. 0414 814194 Shop online at www.innotesco.com.au

info@greygumcafe.com.au www.greygumcafe.com.au 76

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Yamaha Factory Racing graphic on the front and back. Become part of the team this Xmas and get some genuine Rossi gear!

and-go package with a gutsy 49cc two-stroke engine built to thrill without intimidating beginners. An adjustable throttle stop screw lets the adult in charge gradually increase speed as skills improve. Buy now for Xmas to score a free gear bag and sticker kit, and of course – to be the best gift giver, ever!

2017 MotoGP MV25 T-Shirt - $55 T-Shirt from the MV25 collection.

Includes the number 25 on the front and back as well as the Yamaha Factory Racing logo. Give your partner the gift of Yamaha this Xmas with genuine Vinales gear!

YFZ50 - $2899 With electric start, automatic transmission and parental controls, the YFZ50 offers the ultimate sport ATV experience to riders 6 years old

and up. The low-maintenance 49cc engine is tuned to develop responsive, controllable performance. Also boasts convenient features like a fully automatic CVT transmission and electric start with a back-up kickstart.

Buy now for Xmas to score a free gear bag and sticker kit! Get in quick!

Yamaha Enduro Jacket - $285 330D polyester, ventilated lining, adjustable collar and cuffs made for the rough stuff. Be one of the team by wearing the gear worn by the Yamaha folk!

Yamaha PW50 - $1949 The original and still the best entry level fun bike on the market. Fully automatic transmission means no shifting required - the PW50 is a twist-

KENMA

www.kenma.com.au or your local bike shop Cargol “Turn & Go” Emergency Puncture Repair Kit - Large Combo - $99 This ‘must-have’ GK022 kit contains the following items to ensure your time on the side of the road is minimised and made easy to repair

that annoying puncture. 5 x Cargol Turn & Go tubeless tyre rope plugs, 4 x Cargol Turn & Go tubeless tyre plugs, 5 x 16g Co2 bottles for reinflation (3 should be enough for most common tyre sizes), 1 x needle nose pliers, 1 x 90 degree valve extension to Co2 bottle adaptor, 1 x chalk to mark puncture area, 1 x Co2 adapter, 1 x reaming tool, 1 x insertion tool, 1x knife, plus full instructions and a handy storage bag.

Keepower Micro battery charger - $119 This intelligent battery care unit provides you with a battery tester, boost mode for deeply discharged batteries, handy built-in flashlight, is very efficient for longer battery life and low standby energy consumption and is a charging unit that is suitable for all types of batteries, including being spark free and protects from overloading and short circuiting.

Comes with hook free clamps and ‘permanent’ battery eyelets for freedom of choice. The Keepower battery charger is available in a number of sizes, but for motorcycles the Micro unit is the one to have.

Keepower can be constantly connected – the battery will always be fully charged, never be left with that ‘flat’ feeling ever again! With IP65 protection the Keepower Micro can be used outside, rain or shine. D

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traVEL

PASSPORT, WALLET AND WATCH YOU AND YOUR MATES GET OUT OF HERE… From Australia to Vietnam WORDS Brett Spinucci

B

rett Spinucci has provided some very useful hints from his previous journeys to South-East Asia and especially Vietnam in recent years. By now if you are considering joining us on our Vietnam Hung phấn Tour you might not be packing just yet but at least starting the process of

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organising visa’s and what to take.

Brett’s advice will help-

ViSa conSiDeRaTionS

The most important bit of information here is that the only place to arrange your visa is directly from the Vietnamese Consulate here in Australia.

Do not use any of the online services as (in spite of what claims they might make), they do not provide an actual visa, only the introductory paperwork to allow you to buy a visa on arrival in Vietnam.

I recommend against buying your visa when you get to Vietnam. The system is usually quite slow and run by the military. They are not very efficient or ‘customer focussed’ and if the border guards feel like lunch or a pee, tough luck buddy, you’re not going anywhere until you are officially permitted to enter the country!

We endured a very sweaty three hour wait in Ho Chi Minh City airport on one occasion, while the authorities were fawning over a bunch of American schoolgirls who had arrived after we did. They were young and pretty and we weren’t!

A single entry Visa for Australians to enter Vietnam and stay up to 30 days costs (at time of writing) $99AUD. A multiple entry 30 day visa is $140.

The Vietnamese Consular Offices are located in the Sydney suburb of Edgecliff (contact for the consular - vembassy@iinet.net.au or via the website - www.vietnamembassy. org.au) and they offer a service that allows you to post your application if you don’t live in Sydney. Postal applications will need a passport photo attached, payment cheque,

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Typical Vietnamese village.

You’ll see a lot of stainless steel, like the rooftop tanks.

return postage paid envelope and of course, your passport.

If you do live in Sydney, I’d just rock up there with the above and come back two days later to pick up the passport complete with visa. We delegated one of us to drop off and another to pick up – and that worked really well.

Licencing Requirements

While Vietnam has signed the International Driver's Licence treaty, they are yet to implement it – and so this means that if you're planning to ride a motorcycle in Vietnam, (unless you have enough time sit a local exam) - you're going to be effectively unlicensed. Is that a problem?

Not really, in my experience. It’s vastly more important to have the right insurance and the right attitude than it is to have an official licence.

Obey the laws and be respectful and the police won’t even look at you. Ride or behave like an idiot and you will be dealt with accordingly.

The guides from Vietlong Travel will always ride at a safe speed and they’ll be able to deal with pretty much any situation. But just remember that if you ride like a twat, you’re in a Communist country with a very stern police force which will deal with you summarily.

Travel Insurance

Please read the following very carefully as insurance for motorcycle travellers is sometimes very subtly excluded from travel insurance policies – and this applies as a general rule to riding in other countries, not just for Vietnam.

No matter how boring, you must read your Policy Disclosure Statement (PDS) very carefully to determine what the insurer's licencing requirements and capacity restrictions are.

DO NOT purchase a policy that requires you to be licensed in the county in which you're travelling.

DO purchase a policy that only requires you to be licensed to operate the same category of bike in Australia.

You’ll see plenty of policies that also restrict the capacity of motorcycle you can ride, so ensure that your insurance policy covers you for the capacity of bike you’ll be riding – which in this case will be 250cc.

Your Vietlong Travel guides

As I said above, the guys from Vietlong Travel are provided to act not only as guides, but also “fixer”, interpreter and mechanic, and they give great menu recommendations.

By the time you’re back in Hanoi these guys will feel like friends and like us you’ll probably want to take them home with you at the end of the

trip. I can't praise the extra value that guides offer highly enough; they are invaluable at seeking out those local roads and off-the-beaten-track points of interest. English is not commonly understood outside of the major towns, so if you have a situation arise during your trip a Vietnamese/ English speaking guide can translate on your behalf.

Your mechanic

I've done four motorcycle trips around various Asian countries where we have paid a few dollars a day extra to also have a mechanic join us. On all occasions we’ve had minor issues arise that we could have dealt with, but thankfully didn't have to.

Unless you're okay with repairing a flat tyre on a dirt road in 30C heat, spend the money! Of the seven riders on this last trip, four of us had issues that became the mechanic's problem. I could have repaired that broken clutch cable in about an hour, but it took our mechanic just 15 minutes to sort while we drank coffee. On this trip, your mechanic will of course be included.

How difficult is the riding?

It might look intimidating, but riding a motorcycle out of Hanoi on Day One will show you a rhythm that really does make sense once you adapt.

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Hanoi Beer is an excellent crisp lager, and unlike some Asian countries you can get it cold!

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Most of the gravel roads are in pretty good condition, but there are always exceptions.

Step 1 is obviously the need to adjust your perceptions to driving on the right-hand side of the road.

Step 2 is getting used to the way Vietnamese traffic works.

Hiring your bike in a major city means you'll have to negotiate Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh City traffic.

Once again, your tour guides make traffic navigation slightly simpler and a case of ‘monkey see - monkey do’. My good mate Richard Beatty got it right when he said riding a motorcycle in Hanoi is like being in a school of fish, just swim along with the other fish.

Once outside of the main cities you can start to relax a little and get used to dealing with the unique riding experiences that is quintessentially Vietnam.

Fences for livestock are exceedingly rare and you'll no doubt encounter everything on the road from water buffalos, dogs, kids and farm equipment many times every day. You’ll

find yourself becoming quite expert in predicting how long that buffalo shit on the road has been there. If it looks particularly fresh, you’d better slow down around the next half dozen blind corners!

Oncoming cars, trucks and buses will invariably sit in the middle of the road - and therefore avoiding collisions will be your responsibility.

You'll notice the frequent toot or blast of horns and unlike Australia this is not abuse, merely a warning to let you know that they're there. It is vital that you both listen for other people’s horns, and use your own. It is the polite thing to do.

The off-road sections we’ll traverse are mostly straightforward if it’s dry, but rain can turn dirt roads to clay pans, so ride within your own ability at a speed at which you feel safe. There will always be a guide behind you to assist or sweep you up, so don’t feel any pressure to keep up with riders who are faster. This is YOUR tour to enjoy at a speed at which you feel safest.

WHAT CURRENCY DO I TAKE?

Vietnamese Dong is the official national currency, but US dollars are also commonly used everywhere (except for the very small provincial villages).

Choose your adventure.

It doesn’t matter what brand you ride, join us and have the time of your life!

16-18 Mar

2-8 Sept

Myrtleford VIC

Flinders Ranges SA

Touratech Adventure Challenge & Travel Event

18-23 Mar

21-26 Oct

Myrtleford VIC

South Coast NSW

TransTerra 2018 Alpine Explorer

adventure calendar

TransTerra 2018 Flinders Outback

3-6 May

TransTerra 4 Day Wild Rivers

Port Macquarie NSW

TransTerra 2018 Southern High

30 Nov – 2 Dec

Alpine Assault Rally Victorian High Country

Register your interest in our 2018 ride calendar

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1. Clutch repair stop. The mechanic made quick work of the job, obviously used to it.

2. No, it’s not a horizontal pipe organ, but a handy bridge. Only for use when it’s dry.

These can be added to or peeled off as required. Daytime maximums can be as low as 10C in the mountains.

Add some rain and your riding gear will be well tested. Do you have Goretex waterproof boots? Good, bring them!

From about Day Five onwards you'll need a ventilated jacket with some light waterproofs always at the ready. Hydration should also be considered in your riding strategy.

Luggage 1

2 One Aussie dollar buys about 17,000 Dong, so quick mental conversions do not come easily to any but the mathematically gifted. Withdraw the equivalent of about $60 Aussie dollars from an ATM and hey presto, you're a millionaire! ATM's are available in all but the smallest villages. You’ll only be paying for souvenirs and beer on this trip as everything else is included.

A beer runs to about one US dollar in most places.

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Weather conditions on this trip

With the variation in altitude you’ll experience on this trip, you’ll need to pack to suit moderate heat (up to 25C) and the occasional monsoonal rain. As you climb up the Fansipan Mountains to Sapa, you may well experience single digit alpine temperatures.

Loosely speaking, be prepared to layer-up with several thin layers.

We pretty much all brought along specialist motorcycle waterproof bags this last trip and they worked really well, as the bikes are fitted with small aluminium racks.

I ended up buying a 40L waterproof bag from Givi and some of the boys brought 60L bags – but even with the luxury of a fresh T-shirt and undies every day I never ran out of space.

Be conservative in what you bring as you’ll always find the temptation is to pack too much.

Do bring your own personal first aid kit – and if you’re travelling with mates consider splitting a larger kit up between several of you so that one of you can carry more substantial bandages and gauze while someone else can pack pain relief and other meds and you’ll find this method works very well.

If you arrive in Hanoi with a large suitcase, you can always do a deal with your hotel to hold onto your bag until you return to Hanoi.

Talk to Vietlong Travel about this and any other concerns you may have about the trip. It will be one to remember! D

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feature

WHY DO WE

CRASH?

Yes, Virginia, someone has done the research photo the bear

Keeping an eye out for potential dangers is not pessimism; it is a survival mechanism. www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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DoN’T oFTeN sWIPe large slabs of copy from the interwebs. This time, however, it seemed worth doing. Here is Lance Oliver from Revzilla (https://www. revzilla.com/common-tread) with a story about some remarkably telling research done in the United States. Is it applicable in Australia?

Well… why would it not be? So be prepared to learn something. I certainly did. PT What do you learn if you pick 100 riders, put five video cameras and data-logging equipment on their motorcycles and record them for a total of 366,667 miles?

Several things, some of which we knew, some surprising.

Intersections are dangerous. We either need to pay better attention or work on our braking techniques, because we crash into the back of other vehicles way too often. We’re not good enough at cornering, especially right turns. And we drop our bikes a lot (probably more often than any of us imagined or were willing to admit).

The study was done for the Motorcycle Safety Foundation by the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute. Of course there’s a lot more to it than those findings above, and I’ll get further into the results in a minute. But first, why do we need some men and women in lab coats to tell us why we crashed?

Motorcycle crashes: Complex topic, scarce information The most commonly cited U.S. study of motorcycle crashes is the one known as the Hurt report.

Researchers at the University of Southern California, led by Harry Hurt, went to motorcycle crash scenes to determine the causes.

Unfortunately, that report came out in 1981, when cell phones

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“We need to look further ahead.” were non-existent and a powerful motorcycle made 90 horsepower.

Plus, all those crashes studied were in Southern California.

So even though the Hurt report was the best we had, it was short of perfect. Why does that matter? Well, if we don’t have hard evidence on why crashes happen, how can we make the right decisions to prevent them to keep ourselves safer? Or fight bad legislation intended to protect us from ourselves? Or provide better training for new riders?

How Virginia Tech studied motorcycle crashes The VTTI researchers recruited 100 riders from age 21 to 79 in California, Arizona, Florida and Virginia. They outfitted their motorcycles with video cameras showing the rider’s face and forward, rear, left and right views.

GPS and data loggers captured other information, such as brake pressure, acceleration, etc.

This high-tech approach addressed another weakness of the Hurt report. As thorough as the USC team was back in the late 1970s, they had to gather information from crash scene clues and witnesses, including the riders themselves, when possible.

In many cases, they found no evidence that riders took any action at all to avoid a crash, though riders often reported they did. The VTTI cameras and data

loggers weren’t likely to change their story after the fact.

While 366,667 miles of riding sounds like a lot, this study still falls short of fulfilling the hopes we had a decade ago of a comprehensive national study.

The telling statistic is that in the entire study there were 30 crashes and 122 near-crash events. There are far more than 30 ways to crash a motorcycle, so drawing conclusions from that sample size is tricky. The inclusion of nearcrashes helps, however. Sometimes those events teach us just as much or more than a crash.

The VTTI team explains its methodology, including efforts to standardize and define terms and procedures. All the details are in a 20-page report you can download from the MSF. But here are some of the things I picked out.

Where we crash

Intersections. No surprise there.

VTTI created a system to calculate how much a certain scenario or riding behavior increased the odds of a crash or near-crash.

An uncontrolled intersection presents nearly 41 times the risk of no intersection. A parking lot or driveway intersection is more than eight times as risky and an intersection with a signal is almost three times as risky.

A downhill grade increased the risk by a factor of four while an uphill grade doubled it. Riders were nine times as likely to crash or have a near-crash incident on gravel or dirt roads than on paved roads. And riders were twice as likely to have an incident in a righthand turn than on a straight section of road (crossing the center line is considered a nearcrash scenario, even if nothing else bad happens).

How we crash

We complain all the time about other people on the road trying to

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kill us, especially cars pulling into our paths. The VTTI study partially backs that up. Of the 99 crashes and near-crashes involving another vehicle, the three categories of other vehicles crossing the rider’s path add up to 19.

Here’s the surprise, however.

What’s the most common scenario?

Riders hitting (or nearly hitting) another vehicle from behind. There were 35 of those incidents. Are we really almost twice as likely to plow into a stopped car in front of us as to have someone pull into our path?

Or should we write this off as the result of a small sample size?

Maybe there are clues in the risk section. Researchers tried to break down rider behavior in crashes and near-crash incidents into two categories: aggressive riding or rider inattention or lack of skills.

The cameras and other data helped determine, for example, if the rider ran the red light because of inattention or aggressive riding.

The study found that aggressive riding increased risk by a factor of 18 while inattention or lack of skill increased it by a factor of nine.

Combine the two, and odds of an incident increased by 30.

Now here's one of the less dramatic findings, but an interesting one, just the same. It seems we drop our bikes a lot. Or at least the riders in the study did. More than half the crashes were incidents some riders wouldn't define as a crash — not a dramatic collision but an incident defined as a case where the "vehicle falls coincident with low or no speed (even if in gear)" not caused

FOR A COMPLETE RANGE OF TINTED & LARGER SCREENS

by another outside factor. Rider inattention or poor execution are to blame. The study finds "These low-speed 'crashes' appear to be relatively typical among everyday riding," but they are incidents that would never be included in a different kind of study of motorcycle crashes. The cameras, however, capture it all, even our mundane but embarrassing moments.

WHAT WE CAN LEARN

Of course the practical goal for the MSF in funding this study is to find ways to improve its curriculum for teaching new riders and the study ends with some suggestions. For all of us, however, anything that gets us thinking about where we can be better (and therefore safer) riders is worth a little of our time and thought.

Here’s one thing I know I personally need to work on constantly, and I suspect many of you do, too. We need to look further ahead. It applies on the street, on the track, everywhere.

One of the other risk factors the VTTI researchers found that I haven’t mentioned yet is that maneuvering to avoid an object, whether a pedestrian, an animal or something lying in the road, increases the risk factor by 12.

Combine that with the high number of riders hitting another vehicle from behind and I get the feeling we’re just not paying close enough attention. We’re not keeping our eyes up and looking far down the road, to

“BE PREDICTABLE.” see the developing situation that is going to cause the driver in front of us to slam on his brakes, or to spot the hunk of exploded truck tire lying in our lane. Those things are taking us by surprise and we’re not giving ourselves enough time to react.

One thing professional riding coaches teach at the track is to keep your eyes up and look farther ahead. That essentially slows down the action, because you have more time to react to what you see if you’re looking further ahead. If you’re looking at what’s right in front of you on the track (or street), you’re looking at the past, not the future.

It’s already too late for you to do anything about what’s 20 feet ahead of your front tire.

The VTTI study isn’t the last word on motorcycle crashes, but that’s OK. There should never be a last word, because we should never stop talking and learning about it.

Take away one short sentence from this story, if you take away nothing else. “We need to look further ahead.” Whether you think the study is relevant to us or not, that one suggestion joins my favourite, “Be predictable” right up there as a top safety consideration. Believe it. PT D

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biketest

Moto Guzzi V7III Racer Well-priced Exotica WORDS STUART photos nick wood photography

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BiKe teSt

T

He MOtO GuZZi V7 Racer has always been a motorcycle that looks like a custom straight off the showroom floor. It is no different with the latest version – the V7III. Produced in a limited, numbered edition, as indicated by the plate located on the upper steering yoke (#104 being our test bike), the V7 III Racer is not only the most sporty of the range, but also the one with the most prestigious parts. These include the satin finish chromium fuel tank with a red eagle badge, “Rosso Corsa” colour on the frame and swingarm, humped saddle, anodized black aluminium parts, brushed aluminium parts, solid billet rearsets, lightened steering stem and steering yoke guard , Öhlins shock absorbers and the spoked wheel rims which have black channels and red Moto Guzzi decals.

V7s of previous years have had the show, but not much go. This has changed somewhat for this third generation Racer (and other V7III models) with ten percent more power.

While it retains the air-cooled, twovalve, pushrod, longitudinal-crankshaft design and the 80 x 74mm bore and stroke, it’s still new. Up top, the cylinders, heads and pistons are new.

Down below, the crankcase has been updated and there’s a new oil sump, crankshaft and venting system. The increase in power might not sound like a lot but when you ride the V7III it is a considerably different and more enjoyable bike to ride. Having that bit more oomph to use/push the top quality suspension and not worry about whether it will make it up that steep rise coming up is what you’ll experience.

Gone is the “smell the roses” feeling and now it has more of the “racer” feeling it should have.

While classic in design and style the V7III Racer is still fitted with the latest safety features. Twin channel ABS and a new adjustable MGCT (Moto Guzzi Traction Control) system that can also be disabled are standard features. The MGCT system is adjustable with two sensitivity levels, one more conservative and ideal for use in poor grip situations such as wet or slippery roads, and the other designed to optimise safety

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SPECS

MOTO GUZZI V7III RACER

PRICE: $16,490 (plus on-road charges) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 10,000km or 12 months ENGINE: Air-cooled V-twin cylinder, 4-stroke, overhead 2 valves per cylinder BORE x STROKE: 80 x 74mm DISPLACEMENT: 744cc COMPRESSION: 9.6:1 POWER: 38kW @ 6200rpm TORQUE: 60Nm @ 4900rpm TRANSMISSION: 6-speed, dry single

and stability on dry roads. Traction control settings (level 2, level 1 or off) can be selected on-the-fly using the starter button, and another modern adaption of the MGCT system is the ability to recalibrate the rear tyre circumference, compensating for tyre wear or the use of different profiles so that the traction control system remains accurate.

In the handling department the V7III Racer retains a steel frame but comes with a lightweight front end (54 percent of the weight rests on the rear wheel), super sexy full adjustable Öhlins twin shock absorbers and new steering geometry that Moto Guzzi says, “guarantees a more dynamic ride in corners, better handling and stability.” I tend to agree after our test.

The front end feels much better on turn in – not heavy and weighty like the previous Racer’s. For the lighter riders among us, the standard settings are pretty good. For the heavier riders, a little more preload and compression would be needed.

Braking is minimalist with a single disc up front but is adequate for the power of the bike. Of course, with the “Racer” moniker on the bike a bit more power would not go astray.

Ergonomics are exactly as the bike looks – sporty. I wouldn’t be touring too far on this baby but day blasts along your favourite road are right up the Racer’s alley.

Accessories include a tasteful ensemble to jazz up the Racer even further and the set of slip-on mufflers would be a great addition to release some more V-twin tunes.

While I have always liked the Moto Guzzi V7 Racer for its looks, the lack of power never got me totally into it.

The increase in power and much better handling on this V7III, has now got me over the line. It would look just nice in my garage, but the Minister for Finances says, “What? You want another bike! Where will you put this one?!” Who cares, this piece of exotica will look just fine in the tiny bit of space I’m sure I can squeeze it into! D

plate clutch, shaft final drive SUSPENSION: Front, 40mm telescopic fork, non-adjustable, travel 130mm. Rear, monoshock, adjustable preload, compression and rebound, travel 96mm.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 770mm, weight 213kg (wet), fuel capacity 21 litres, wheelbase 1463mm TYRES: Front, 100/90/R18.

Rear, 130/80/R17 FRAME: Tubular steel BRAKES: Front, 320mm disc with four-piston caliper. Rear, 260mm disc, dual-piston caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 7.08 litres per 100km, premium unleaded THEORETICAL RANGE: 296km COLOURS: Satin Chrome VERDICT: STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD

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USED&REVIEWED

ALPINESTARS SUPERTECH R BOOTS

THE DUCKS A GUTS

Price - $599.95

LPINESTARS ARE worn by many of the top racers around the world both on and off-road. I have worn many of their products before, most notably the Supertech R boots which have graced these pages many times over the last five years or so in which I’ve

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worn them. But, unfortunately like all good things, they must come to an end (wear out) and to an end they did come. After five years of roaring around racetracks all over the world, surviving two light crashes and being my ‘must have’ boots when racing I have retired my white Supertech R boots. Replacing them is the latest version but in black this time, which I’m sure will keep those of you who hated my white boots happy!

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The big thing with the Supertech R boots that makes them an amazing sport/race boot is the inner bootie.

Rather than your foot moving around in a normal boot and rubbing the skin off your big toe when gear changing, the inner bootie grips your foot and the outer boot is what takes the punishment of thousands of gearchanges.

The most notable changes from the previous version I had are a newly redesigned compound rubber sole, update ergonomically profiled shinplate, a new micro-adjustable ratchet top closure (more micro than the previous version) and a redesigned front flex area – all of which enhance the performance of this CE certified boot. There’s also a new shaped toe slider with a new fixing concept.

Flexibility is a huge performance advantage with the Supertech R. Many non-inner bootie boots will be stiff to give you the same safety levels, whereas the Supertech R kind of feels like it offers

two levels of safety from both the inner boot and outer boot.

Other features of the Supertech R include a durable and technical microfiber upper, microfiber main shell which offers high levels of water-resistance, durability and improved weight-saving; material that ensures consistent fit for long term usage and is easy to maintain and clean; A redesigned front flex area is constructed from over-injected TPU on breathable mesh with shaped reliefs; newly designed external TPU shin protection is ergonomically shaped and wraps around to the outer calf and is engineered to spread and dissipate impact energy across the surface while remaining compact; an innovative, full-length medial-facing microfiber panel which features new texture patterning offering excellent grip and feel against the bike and protects from

abrasion and heat. The new, soft TPU stretch panel on the lateral side gives easy closure with excellent fit, especially while wearing leathers. And Alpinestars hasn’t stopped there: try a zip made from TPU to reduce friction in the event of a crash to help stop the chance of the boot from tearing open, a Velcro tab which locks the zip pull closed, keeping it flat and secure, flexible accordion microfiber stretch at the Achilles allows natural movement and support, top gaiter that follows your leg contour and is made of flexible high-grade synthetic leather reinforced with PU, a flexible, lightweight toe shifter that allows feel while changing gears and replaceable polymer heel plate sliders which protects from impact and reduces friction in the event of a crash.

Sizing runs one size larger than normal. For example, I normally wear a size 49, whereas the size 48 Supertech R fits perfectly. Alpinestars offers sizes 39-48 and you can get the Superetech R in six colour variants and a vented version.

All in all, the Alpinestars Supertech R boots offer mega amounts of safety, comfort and of course awesome style.

I have tried to wear other boots on the race track and nothing comes close to offering the feel of the Supertech R boots. It’s one of the reasons I got another pair – they are simply, THE BEST! When I last reviewed the Supertech R boots quite a few of you bought your own pairs and emailed me saying how much you loved them. If you didn’t buy a pair then, now is the time to get this latest version and reap the benefits! See your local bike shop or visit www.monzaimports.com.au SW D

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Even the program is ‘old school’.

GOODWOOD REVIVAL 2017 Dress up and enjoy the action WORDS STUART PHOTOS BILL FORSYTH

T

HE WORD Goodwood alone is enough to cause lovers of vintage vehicles to salivate. Many classic/historic race meetings/events are held around the world but none compare to the pure atmosphere that Goodwood offers. The Goodwood Revival is a spin off from the Goodwood Festival of Speed which

I have longed to attend but never had the money to get to. Well-known photographer Bill Forsyth dressed up in period attire (a requirement for the event) and went to this year’s Goodwood Revival meeting. Not only did he have a great time watching all of the historic racing action, but he took some great pics for us to enjoy.

The Revival is mostly a historic car race meeting but there is something for us, too. Motorcyclists can enjoy the Barry Sheene Memorial trophy races for race bikes up to 1966 like Manx Nortons, MV Agustas, Matchless’ and the like, and attract some big names for the two rider race. The two races run for twenty

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event

five minutes each, and each rider has to race. As you can imagine the skill of treating the machine with sympathy while still churning out quick laps in both wet and dry conditions (it is England after all) can mean that just about anyone on the grid can win. Take TT racers, Michael and William Dunlop who rode the wheels off the MV Agusta 500/3 but ultimately, with Michael riding, blew the engine up. It was the consistency of Michael Hose and Howie Mainwaring riding a Matchless G50 that took the win.

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1 1. Mintex! Who remembers their brake and clutch linings?

2. Troy Corser motocrossing it in the wet.

3. Millions of dollars’ worth of cars to see as well!

So, here’s a bit of a pictorial from Bill which really does capture the great times the Goodwood Revival offers. If you’ve ever wanted to go, be sure to check out - www. goodwood.com/flagship-events/ goodwood-revival . D

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LONGTERMERS

HARD TRAVELLIN’ AND PIPING UP

ROYAL ENFIELD HIMALAYAN GET SOME BAGS!

O

UR ROYAL ENFIELD 410cc single cylinder Himalayan has seen some more modifications and accessories that will eventually make it an all-round bush tourer. Its luggage capacity received a significant upgrade this month, as you’ll see below, along with the other great touring additions.

I needed extra carrying capacity on one test bike or another, it must just have been waiting for the arrival of the Himalayan. Not only does it fit perfectly on the tank and over the filler cap, but it looks just right too. It is not exactly the same as the improved versions that are on the market today, but it has many of the advantages.

The bag unzips completely from the harness, and you can use it as a shoulder bag. To access the filler, just unzip it partway and fold it to one side. At four litres the bag is quite small, but even with a thick layer of foam in the bottom to adapt it as a camera bag it easily holds my biggest camera. Material and workmanship

GIANT LOOP DIABLO TANK BAG PRO Price - $285 See www.adventuremoto.com.au/ giant-loop/luggage .

This tank bag has been lurking in the depths of my garage for quite a while.

Dragged out every now and then when

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are excellent, and I’m quite happy trusting my expensive equipment to it.

If you didn’t want to use it for the same purpose as I do, it would hold a light rain suit and quite a few small items.

GIANT LOOP POSSIBLES POUCH Price – $80 (each) See www.adventuremoto.com.au/ giant-loop/luggage .

Named for the leather pouches carried

by American frontier explorers to keep critical gear, or “possibles,” in one handy location, the three litre pouch is RF welded, 100% waterproof and dustproof. It will hold a tool and tyre repair kit complete with tyre irons, a spare tube or a 2-litre fuel canister. Our pair fitted perfectly onto the Himalayan’s crash guard alongside the fuel tank. They look as if they were designed exactly for that spot and now hold one of those fuel canisters on one side and a tool kit on the other. They even protect my knees a little! Giant Loop makes terrific gear, and these bags are no different.

VENTURA EVO-40 LITRE REAR BAG Price – $199 See www.kenma.com.au .

The new EVO Sports range is a departure for the New Zealand-made Ventura Bike-Pack luggage system. It features a new rack without the loop which has been part of past systems.

The EVO-40 and EVO-10 packs are designed to work without the loop. But we didn’t even need the EVO-Rack

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LONG TERMERS

use these blokes a lot because they’re competent and efficient (as well as seriously helpful) and their work is reasonably priced.

And the on-site café has good beer. which is available with mountings for more than 2000 bike models; our 40 litre pack fitted very nicely onto the Himalayan’s existing rack.

The EVO-40 is a large touring pack, while the EVO-10 is geared toward commuting and day riding with its 10 litre capacity. Both packs are engineered and manufactured using a waterproof and durable laminated ballistic fabric to ensure long life. The EVO range is available as complete model specific systems including brackets and the packs and rack will also be available as “UNI” kits for bikes already fitted with Ventura L Brackets.

LIGHTEN UP Then it was time to get stuck into the lighting in its many forms. We’ve left the headlight alone for now, although it will get its upgrade in due course, and concentrated on other changes. The bike went to Surfside Motorcycle Garage, 42 Winbourne Road, Brookvale 2100, 02 9905 4755 or trev@surfside.net.au. I

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BARKBUSTERS TURN INDICATORS Price - $69.95 See Barkbusters.net .

This pair of amber turn indicators can be fitted to the upper or lower surfaces of the VPS and Storm hand guards, as well as the upper surface of the JET guards. They each consist of 15 bright LEDs and are E Mark approved for use as indicators. Being LEDs, they draw relatively little power. They may require optional resistors to get the correct flash rate; the resistors are available separately.

Surfside managed an even simpler and cheaper solution with a replacement flasher unit. Fitting is simple with the templates supplied by Barkbusters’ manufacturers Rideworx.

REAR TURN INDICATORS Price – $ 14.95 a pair Every now and then we like to dip our toes into the wondrous offerings of ebay. You can buy individual indicators

for as little as $4.95 (or even less, probably, if you’re more persistent in looking) but I sourced these indicators from Australia on ebay. They’re unbranded and the carbon fibre finish appears to be printed on, but they look well-made. One reason why I chose these particular blinkers is that their light is visible from the side.

Replacement rear blinkers were necessary because the panniers hide the original ones; that’s because our rack is a pre-production item which does not have the relocation bracket which, RE tell me, will be on the final items. Surfside made a small bracket instead to hold the indicators near the number plate.

RUNNING LIGHTS Price – $ 25.95 If we’re going to sample Australia’s ebay offers, we might as well look at the international ones as well. This pair of substantial-looking but unbranded lights came from China, and as with the indicators above we will let you know how they perform. With doubts about quality and a lack of guarantees we usually avoid Chinese ebay offerings, but I must say these look pretty tough with their all-metal casings and fittings.

They give a strong and well-focused light and the way Surfside mounted them, I can turn them for their light to overlap anywhere I like – so they can be used as spots or as running lights.

Because I obviously don’t want them on all the time, I got Surfside to wire them into the high beam circuit,

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with a switch on the side of the Himalayan’s headlight bracket. This way I can have them on with the high beam, or just switch them on when I suspect that Mr or Ms K. A. Roo is lurking in the shrubbery.

most of my electrical bits and pieces is specifically designed for Bosch fittings.

Surfside fitted it where I’d requested, in the centre of the fascia below the instruments, and it looks as if it was designed for the spot.

POWER SOCKET Powerlet/Rocky Creek Designs See www.rockycreekdesigns.com.au Price – App $19.95 My socket came from Rocky Creek and I was happy to fit it because I know that they distribute high-quality stuff. It takes Bosch (also referred to as BMW) plugs; I could have used a cigar lighter socket but the twin USB socket plug I use for

Fitting of all of the above electrical work, plus a replacement blinker unit which slowed the flashing down to a more normal rate, cost a total of $630 at Surfside Motorcycle Garage; a very reasonable charge considering the re-wiring and bracket-making that had to be done. There’s more coming up on this bike; it is proving to be an excellent

D Moto Motorcycle Engineering

Motorcyclists Ken and Tania welcome you to their highly recommended cafe.

Wood Fired Pizza, Tapas and Espresso Bar.

Technical Skill - Personal Service Comprehensive or minor servicing Performance engine mods Cylinder head reconditioning Welding and machining service Fuel injection specialists Race and track bike preparation Tyre supply and fitting Ducati spares REXXER ecu tuning

Although our background is Ducati we will happily service any motorcycle brand!

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LOnG teRMeRS

‘mule’ for fitting accessories and making minor but worthwhile improvements.

Keep in mind, too, that the Himalayan is not the only bike in this category and that other, mainly Japanese, bikes will often respond well to the same work we’re doing on this machine. If you have, or are thinking of buying, a Yamaha Tenere, say, a Kawasaki Versys or KLR650, a Suzuki DR650 or V-Strom or any of Honda’s adventure bikes you will find useful information in this series of articles.

KAWASAKI Z650L QUIET HOUNDS!

Price - $1500 plus fitment Our Kawasaki Z650L has not long come back from MotoGP at Phillip Island which you’ll read about soon, but before it went on this excursion the fine folk at Kawasaki Motors Australia fitted up an accessory Akrapovic full exhaust. Being a parallel twin cylinder bike fitment is a straight forward and fast exercise. Allow yourself around 30 minutes to remove and replace with the new system, maybe an hour with a couple of beers.

The Akrapovic exhaust saves a heap of weight by shredding 4.1kg off an already light 186kg (wet) motorcycle and is claimed to increase power by 3.1kW and torque by 5.7Nm. The sound is only just noticeable. A deeper beat comes out of the super sexy titanium underslung muffler but as per what Akrapovic claim the increase in power and torque is very noticeable. To put it into perspective the front wheel now heads for the sun under acceleration whereas it would stay gripped to the bitumen before.

The Akrapovic full system features high quality stainless steel headers and mid-pipes, beautiful welds, airtight quality controlled production (meaning there’ll be no leaks), high-quality silicon-shielded stainless steel exhaust springs, optimised lean angle, carbon fibre cap and the best bit is that the fitment of the exhaust requires no fuel remapping.

To grab one of these super sexy exhausts for your Kawasaki 650, see your local dealer. SW D

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GRIZZLING pair of “custom” bikes that Kawasaki showed alongside the new models. It’s probably best to leave it at that, but while Kawasaki will no doubt get a lot of online coverage of the bikes I suspect that the people who like the Deus bikes would never buy a Z900, and the people who might buy one will be put off. I am.

EVERYTHING OLD

NO HIDING PLACE

“C

SIRO has secured access to one of the world’s most sophisticated highperformance satellites,” says the press release,” giving Australian scientists direct control over which data the satellite collects over our region… the NovaSAR satellite will provide CSIRO and the wider Australian research community with access to an advanced form of radar technology known as S-band Synthetic Aperture Radar, or S-band SAR, which… enables images to be taken day and night, and through cloud cover…”

Now they’ll be able to read your licence plate from space. Whoopee.

PICTURE FROM AN EXHIBITION

“They have learned nothing and forgotten nothing.” Talleyrand meant the Bourbons (and not the bottled kind) but sometimes I feel like applying the comment (which he, too, apparently borrowed) to the Chinese motorcycle industry.

If there is one commandment for motorcycle manufacturers that is nearly as important as “keep the price down” (which the Chinese do understand) it is “be original and consistent”. Take a look at this photo (above) of an imitation KTM from the 2017 Chinese International Motorcycle Fair. Instead of “Dake”, couldn’t they at least have called it “Fake”? Or, as someone here suggested, “Puke”?

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AND ANOTHER COUPLE OF THINGS

Kawasaki kindly invited me to the first Australian presentation of their latest entry into the retro market.

I liked the previous pair of classic bikes, the W650 and W800, enough to buy one of each but I like the Z900 even more. The bike is a triumph (oops, sorry) which has managed to fit liquid cooling with its inevitable radiator seamlessly into the design.

The bike looks, and I suspect is, somewhat smaller than the original Z900 but it is a respectful and nevertheless innovative nod to that great motorcycle.

The café version has a little touch of Nemo about it with its clownfish-like paint job, but it is still a successful variation on the theme. I particularly like the seat; if I do buy a Z900 I’ll be seeing if it’s possible to transfer seats!

I was somewhat bemused by the

Suzuki has also produced a “custom” bike, but it’s been done at the factory.

Proving that everything old can, indeed, be new again, the new Suzuki TU250 with its ‘70s paint scheme is the cutest thing since that YouTube thing about the two blind cats.

TWO TO GO

It looks as if Two Wheels magazine has kicked the proverbial bucket. Its first editor, Tom Floyd, is arranging a wake for some time early in 2018. I’ll be there, having been both its designer and editor at different times, and if you’ve had anything to do with it over its 50-year life you should contact him for details of the celebration. His email address is tfloyd@ozemail.com.au or you can ring him on 0427 416 876; do it now.

Peter ‘The Bear’ Thoeming

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CLAssiCMORRis

LESTER GOES ROMIN’ (STET) WORDS lester Morris

L

es Rudd was a man of many moods, most of them of a personable, easy-going nature. He was the owner/operator/ boss of Ryde Motorcycles, the popular motorcycle store which had operated out of a very old, heavily-windowed two-storey building from the early fifties to the late sixties. The store was right on the ant-track at the top of Ryde hill, where the intersections of the major Victoria and Concord Roads and Top Ryde’s Devlin Street once met. It was ideally placed, for it stood out like a beacon, its creamcoloured Western face covered by a huge painting of a large black panther which advertised a well-known brand of car batteries – or was it a tyre company, or perhaps both? I assume he was paid a reasonable stipend for having his building so glaringly adorned, but I never asked him about that. It is long gone now, the widening of the major intersection putting paid to the building – and the business.

To digress – I know, I know, ‘not again’ you are all muttering - I often wonder if I have dropped the kiss of death on any of the number of motorcycle stores in which I worked over many years. Hazell and Moore, in Campbell Street, was the first one, as well as the biggest in Sydney, where I worked the spare parts and accessory counters for seven years from 1948 to 1954, then to A.P. North from 1954 to 1955, to Top Ryde from 1956 to 1961, and then to Omodeis from late 1961 to 1968. I then made the long-awaited transition into professional Theatre, swearing never to look at another motorcycle in my entire life, much less work in another motorcycle store.

As it happens, I worked for a short

time with Barry Ryan in 1969 at his Ryans Motorcycles store in Parramatta before de-camping into a play in New Zealand for several weeks, later to open my own motorcycle store in Ryde – nowhere near the old Ryde Motorcycles, for it sat in the bowels of the Ryde CBD in 1972 – after working for some time as a performer in the Club industry in Sydney, country areas and Interstate.

After a short stint again in Theatre and TV in Melbourne, I worked on and off for Ron Angel in Richmond, who was then importing Moto-Morini, Ducati, Moto-Guzzi motorcycles and Nolan helmets, as well as having a successful agency for BMW machines.

I rode a wide variety of motorcycles almost every day in very nearly all of those stores.

The scariest part of that odd introduction to my history in the industry is that not one of those motorcycle agencies I carefully listed is in existence today – in fact, there is no evidence at all that any of them ever existed! Ron Angel is the obvious exception, for he has gone from strength to strength as the Australian importer of Nolan helmets and many other motorcycle essentials.

However, except for a couple of quite anonymous small buildings, the areas on which these motorcycle stores once stood so proudly have either been razed to the ground or heavily built upon, taking the once-thriving businesses with them.

Now then, where was I? Oh, yes, Les Rudd and Ryde Motorcycles. In all the time I worked there, one could not ring the Sydney CBD directly, for the phone was connected only to the local Exchange and one had to direct

a message – or be directed – by calling the girl at the switchboard and being put through to a ‘line’ into the city; of wherever. Our phone number, in all the time I was there, was Ryde 1 – the local newspaper ads often suggesting that one should “Ride One from Ryde 1”, or “Ride Motorcycles from Ryde Motorcycles.” Corny I know, but successful enough; and please don’t ask why one had to ring the Ryde Exchange to be connected to a city or local telephone – it was the late fifties and into the sixties, after all!

Les had a plaque on his desk which bore the initials ‘S.P.Q.R’, Roman shorthand for a motto which I knew the Roman Centurions used to carry upon their banners while on parades and into battle. The full Roman quotation in Latin stated ‘Senatus Populusque Romanus’ which, (very) roughly translated was said to mean ‘The Senate of the People of Rome’.

There is still argument amongst earnest Latin scholars as to whether or not this translation is entirely correct, for it apparently depends on where one places the first and/or last letters of the various words, but Les Rudd always said that to him it meant ‘Small Profits, Quick Returns’. I reckon that is as good a translation of the meaning of those four initials/letters as you could get anywhere!

The man was a non-smoker, but for some odd reason he kept a box of cigarettes and loose matches on his desk, and when someone came into the store to express interest in a machine on display, or to trade-in a bike on a new or later model, I would sometimes call him out and he would immediately pop a cigarette into his mouth. I would watch him go cross-

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CLASSIC MORRIS

eyed while focussing on the match as he made quite a mess out of lighting the thing up, often coughing and spluttering, while thereafter being wreathed in a cloud of smoke until the thing was exhausted or went out quickly when the fire reached the filter-tip. I don’t think he ever inhaled the smoke, so it seemed a pointless exercise.

To me it was such a comical display that I sometimes had to leave the room with a hand clasped over my giggling mouth.

He was clearly a hopeless smoker, if there is such a thing, and I could never understand why he bothered sucking on a cigarette at all, for I couldn’t help but note more than a few customers looking at him a bit sideways as he stood furiously puffing clouds of smoke into their faces. The cigarette never left his mouth until it was finished, for he nervously breathed his sentences around the thing, with explosive consonants like ‘P’,‘F’,’T’ and ‘V’ emitting even more clouds of smoke. He never, ever, smoked at any other time, so I imagine it must have been a soothing thing for him to do.

But now that I come to think of it, I suppose it was a whole lot better than having him sucking his thumb in their various faces: Gawd help us, how offputting would that have been, and not only for customers either!

He was always immaculately dressed – often an odd thing to see in a suburban motorcycle store – with his wall-toed shoes buffed to a mirror finish. He seemed to have just three pair of those brogues; one a light tan, another a deeper brown, the third a deep, reddish- purple called ox-blood.

I never saw a black shoe on either of his feet. Those lighter coloured shoes shone so brightly they probably glowed in the dark, and you could always see the showroom floor and the glaring front windows clearly illuminated upon them.

His nick-name, be told me once, was what I thought he said was the Baron.

But it was actually the Barren, for he later said he was entirely unable to father children due, he told me, to a motorcycle accident in which his pelvis was busted. This, he added, had some grim affects upon what he called his manhood – not his ability to ‘perform’ well, he hastened to add, just his fertility. That accident was the reason, I suddenly realised, for his very subtle limp, for one leg was very slightly shorter than the other.

What about the obvious ding on top of his head, I rudely asked him shortly thereafter, but he said that was not due to the same - or any other - motorcycle accident, but was caused by a small enemy mortar-bomb exploding on the very top of his ‘tin-hat’ during his campaign in WW2 in Europe!!

Other than his odd machinations with those confounded cigarettes, he seemed to me to be quite OK after

Buy it!

Hey, my 196-page book, “Vintage Morris: Tall Tales but True from a Lifetime in Motorcycling” is available for purchase.

To secure your signed copy, please send a cheque or money order for $42 ($29 + $14 postage nationwide) to: L&L Morris, PO Box 392, Winston Hills NSW 2153. Cheers for now. LM

such a fearsome thing happening to him, but he did admit he wasn’t too sure who he was, where he was, or in fact what he was for months after his tin-hat was rent asunder by the blast. He was always going to bring the well-splattered metal headgear in to work, he said (for he had

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unaccountably kept it as a souvenir for many years), but I never saw it.

It must be said that Les Rudd was a very generous man.

Just before Easter in 1957 I endured a head-on with a 1948 Oldsmobile car, which had suddenly stopped on my exit line from a favourite lefthander while I was enthusiastically cornering the BSA outfit at night.

The sidecar wheel was about a meter into the air, but the device was entirely under control, and I would have missed the car by a whisker had he kept going as he should have, instead of braking in panic.

I panel-beat his near-side front mudguard with my right knee ( the only part of me still on the bike, the rest, except for a few fingers and thumbs on the handlebars, almost in the sidecar itself) with the result that the knee was busted and took some time to recover. Every Friday night for some five weeks thereafter as I was recovering he visited the granny flat in which we were living, and handed over

a week’s wages each time. It was a great, and much appreciated gesture, for which I was profuse in my thanks for, as far as I knew, he didn’t have to do that.

Once, towards the end of our association, he had to go away for a few days, he said, for he had developed a strange twitch and an even stranger itch, no surprise as the trade was on its way out in a Big Way as it neared the beginning of the sixties, and we weren’t doing too well. Neither was anybody else in the motorcycle trade anywhere on earth, be assured!

He was gone for a solid week, but rang several times every day to see if we were still there, that the place had not burnt to the ground, that we had not been burgled, and that the occasional motorcycle had been sold: they had, for I had sold four of them during his absence. The workshop was also going full-blast.

I suggested he settle himself down a bit, but I simply couldn’t stop him regularly contacting us during that

short period; neither could his wife, I was later to learn.

Even though Honda had recently arrived in Australia (that happened in April, 1958) and went on to save the industry world-wide, it had not yet had the influence on the industry which was shortly to follow as other Japanese motorcycles arrived in ever-increasing numbers, so it all went quietly pear-shaped before it slowly came good again.

There were just three of us in the store at the time; Les Rudd, the great, self-taught mechanic/engineer Ernie dal Santo and myself, so we hung on for another eighteen months or so, but he was almost in tears as he suggested he would finally have to dispense with my services. He then surprised by paying me a fairly handsome ‘bonus’ to help me on my way.

Every day was an unalloyed joy at Ryde Motorcycles, it really was, and it remains one of the highlights of my long, long career in the motorcycle trade. D

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WHATSAYYOU

W

E LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU, the letters are among the most keenly read parts of the magazine. Please try and keep letters down to no more than 300 words. Then you can read many, not just a couple. We do reserve the right to cut them and, unless you identify yourself and at least your town or suburb and state, we will print your email address instead. Please address letters to contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com.au or Australian Motorcyclist Magazine, Suite 4b, Level 1, 11-13 Orion Rd, Lane Cove West NSW 2066.

All opinions published here are those of the writers and we do not vouch for their accuracy or even their sanity.

D

EB WINS OUR letters prize this month for her insight into the workings of the NSW police. Better send us your postal address, Deb. Promise we won’t pass it on!

DONUTS OR NOTHING

Hi, Being a former cop, I can confirm some of the donut conspiracy [mentioned in our Weekly Catch-Up]!

Very true, you just have a bite of your food, then get called out to a job and you have to leave it!

But on to donuts. When Krispy Kreme opened at Liverpool, we used to have one car drive out there to pick some up while the other cars covered for us. When we got there, there were Police cars from everywhere doing the same thing!

But really, McDonalds was the food of choice, half price for police!

Deb As Stuart says, Deb, it’s cheap security for Maccas – The Bear READY TO THROTTLE

Hi, I am seeking help with problem with my 1981 Kawasaki GPZ1100 B1.

This problem which will affect all owners of this model eventually.

This problem will eventually affect all owners on the B1 model. This model was produced for one year

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only with an analog type throttle valve switch (throttle position sensor).

Kawasaki then changed over to a digital system (B2) replacing the throttle valve switch with a digital potentiometer type.

The throttle valve switch (TVS) is now obsolete. I have been in contact with Kawasaki Japan but they are unable to provide any information on the system. The design was a collaboration with JECS at the time which is now part of the Hitachi corporation.

I have searched the internet for ways to fix or replace this part. There are a number of suggestions but they all lack the details needed. There are suggestions of alternate makes of TVS but when I search for these they are either later types or there is no information on them.

I have purchased 2 second hand units and neither of them work. The one on the bike now is playing up. The other alternatives are to replace with a later digital system which involves many component changes, converting to carburettor which is getting away from the originality of the bike which is on historic registration.

I have started to dismantle the 2 TVS units which is a slow process due to them being encapsulated.

They are made up of a magnets, reed switches, a single pole single throw switch , 2 led lights and a couple of other components. What I found on both units is water ingress which has affected the wire connections on the circuit board. The loom entering the TVS is not fully sealed and as such it heats up during use and sucks in moisture when it cools through the loom.

I have the original Kawasaki workshop manual which covers all the models from the pre injection models to the later B2 models. The circuit diagrams for the B2 show the ECU

connections and lists what each wire does. The B1 circuit diagram does not show what the wires do. I have had the ECU checked out and fixed so I know this is working. The TVS will not allow the motor to start if it is faulty. An indication is if the LED lights do not work then the motor will not start.

Has anyone had to deal with this problem and how did you fix it????

Hopefully one or more readers may be able to advise me on a solution.

Regards Vince Baker PS any replies can be directed to my email address. fossil88@bigpond.com .

Knowing our readers, Vince, someone is bound to come up with an answer. I hope, anyway! – The Bear MAKE IT LAST A WEEK

Peter, Great job and the magazine keeps hitting the right targets. Just had a great bike week in Victoria bookended by the Blessing of the Bikes at San Remo and then the MotoGP a week later. Could be the start of “bike week” tradition and wouldn’t be a bad thing. Still surprises me that even in the face of such great success the trolls still get onto Facebook and try and steal away the fun and gloss of such events. As riders we are our own worst enemies at times, we just need to relax sometimes and appreciate the efforts of others and the great opportunity it gives us to share our experiences as bikers and have a few good times thrown in. Even the local constabulary worked a good line between fun and dangerous etc during the week in my opinion. Marcel and Sabine are to be congratulated on their persistence to keep this going, and all the volunteers working hard in the background, and I for one hope it continues to grow into a long-lasting

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tradition, I’ll be there as long as I can get my leg over the bike.

Cheers, FAZA SMALL CAN BE GOOD

Dear Mr Boris, Adventure bikes. I totally agree with your article. That is despite owning a GS. The third. I love the GS. It’s a great ride.

I’ve ridden a GSA, my last bike to Darwin from Narooma and back. Over roads of mud, and I’m not really a dirt rider. Shit, I’m nothing but an average rider but it was a great ride and terrific to do on my own at 56.

Point is as you said, any bike can be an adv bike. My 250 Yamaha was and a Mach 3 Kawasaki was too. However, if I really wanted a bike to have adventures on back roads a DR 650 or the new Himalayan would be my pick. On the Stuart Hwy on a transport section with a road train up my arse I’d be wanting a GS but when the road grew rough and I needed to be able to lay the bike down I’d be wanting a smaller bike.

All the best.

Jon Sloan You can’t have been all that ‘average’ if you could ride a Mach III on dirt, Jon! But I know what you mean; my Kawasaki Turbo performed well on rough gravel, too – The Bear THE POST IS THE PITS

Hello Bear, Thanks again for the Catch-Up. Been following Ralph on Facebook, and enjoying the first glimpse of all the new stuff from EICMA. Also went about ordering a copy of the Bike EXIF calendar.

After all, the price seemed quite reasonable for such a quality item. All was going swimmingly until the final payment bobbed up on my screen showing postage in excess of $40, with no cheaper option. I thought the charge was too much for my meagre budget, particularly as the calendar fails to include even a single Ducati or Moto Guzzi. I’m now looking elsewhere.

Cheers, Gil If I’d realized that the postage was going to be as expensive as that I would have mentioned it, Gil. Sorry. I can well understand that you found it excessive. I’ve suggested to EXIF that they send a bulk number of calendars over next time and distribute from here. We can do it for them – The Bear CALL THAT COFFEE?

Bear, What motel has International Roast in their rooms? I need to know so that I never go there, or at least I can bring my own....

KAT This is in response to a picture in our Weekly Catch-Up, an email that goes out to all our subscribers. The answer will be revealed soon – probably in the next issue, KAT. Keep an eye out! – The Bear

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W H AT S AY Y O U

AND AGAIN

Peter, I agree about International Roast - it used to be standard serving in the Army until I banned it and got something a little better.

It’s worse than bad.

Regards Phillip Haddad The Australian Army is full of heroes, isn’t it – they even look after the coffee – The Bear MOORE FROM JACK

Dear Sirs Whoops - 96 year old mistakes the accelerator for a brake. Writes off car. What, didn’t use the clutch? Silly question, would have been an automatic.

Two kids dead this week. Thanks Bill Fox for your suggestion “they should put their brain into gear”.

Say that at the kids funeral.

Something needs to be done! If not a change to the controls, compulsory fitting of collision avoidance system.

Would it be too hard to press the accelerator sideways? What about a “dead man switch” under your right heel?

Ralph Nader warned you years ago about automatics!

Action needed.

Regards Jack Moore CPEng (Ret) Ocean Reef WA We occasionally get a letter from Jack, always with useful if unusual ideas. They mostly apply to cars, but we motorcyclists are just as threatened by driver incompetence as the kids Jack mentions – The Bear STEVE’S NOT HAPPY

Peter and Stuart, I have looked forward to the arrival of Motorcyclist since the first issue but I regret I may not renew my subscription again.

Obviously the majority of your readers want stories about “off road” and “adventure” riding as against sealed road touring on interesting roads in Australia and

overseas. I’m not one of them, you used to do tours of Europe showing a world I dream of seeing one day, what happened?

Regards, Steve Dixon Hi, Steve, and thank you for writing. It helps a lot if readers actually tell us what they’re unhappy about. It is sometimes unpredictable what kinds of stories will turn up and need to be accommodated in any particular issue. The recent flood of adventure stories is more due to that than to a change of direction for the magazine, and one issue was an adventure special. Please bear with us; there are several sealed road European stories coming up - The Bear AND STEVE SAYS:

Thanks, I did jump the gun a bit as I didn’t read Stuarts intro about it being a special “adventure” edition. I have noticed though that there seems to be more off road and less sealed road stories these days.

I won’t give up on you just yet.

Steve Dixon D

0 0 2 3 + years

days: Myanmar, Five Fingers 32Thailand, Laos, of S.E. sia! Vietnam, Cambodia

v

Life is a DARING ADVENTURE or nothing at all !

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$18,995 $19,495 $28,995 $32,995 $33,995 $34,995 $35,995 $36,995 $40,995 $49,995

KAWASAKI

www.kawasaki.com.au

HONDA

www.honda.com.au Road Grom CB125E CB300F CBR300R CBR300R ABS CB400 ABS CB500F CBR500R ABS CBR600RR CB650FL ABS CB650F ABS CBR650FL ABS CBR650F ABS NC750SA ABS VFR800F CBR1000RR Fireblade CBR1000RR Fireblade SP VFR1200F ABS CTX1300 Goldwing F6B GL1800 Goldwing Cruiser VT400C CMX CTX700NA ABS VT750C Shadow VT1300CXA Fury GL1800 Valkyrie Adv Touring CB500X NC750XA VFR800X Crossrunner VFR1200X Crosstourer CRF1000 Africa Twin CRF1000 Africa Twin ABS CRF1000 Africa Twin DCT Scooter NSC110 Dio MW110 Benly PCX150 NSS300A Forza

INDIAN

$3990 $2299 $5699 $5249 $5749 $10,499 $7899 $8099 $14,999 $9999 $9999 $10,499 $10,599 $9299 $15,199 $22,500 $28,499 $17,799 $19,499 $27,299 $37,999 $9799 $8999 $9999 $12,299 $15,999 $21,999 $7999 $9599 $15,099 $18,299 $15,499 $16,999 $17,999 $2799 $3299 $4499 $7499

HUSQVARNA

www.husqvarna-motorcycles.com/au Road 701 Supermoto

$TBA

Road Z125 Pro KRT Z300 ABS Z300 Special Edition Ninja 300 Ninja 300 SE KRT Ninja 300 ABS Ninja 300 SE ABS Versys 650/L ABS Ninja 650/L ABS Ninja 650/L KRT Edition Z650L ABS Ninja ZX-6R Ninja ZX-6R 636 KRT W800 SE Black Z800 ABS Z900 Z900RS Z900RS SE Z900RS Café Z1000 ABS Ninja 1000 ABS Ninja ZX-10R KRT Ninja ZX-10R ABS Ninja ZX-10R ABS KRT Ninja ZX-10RR Ninja ZX-14R ABS Ninja ZX-14R Ohlins 1400GTR H2 H2 SX H2 Carbon Cruiser Vulcan S ABS Vulcan S ABS SE Vulcan 900 Classic Vulcan 900 Custom Vulcan 1700 Vaquero ABS Adv Touring Versys X KLR650 Versys 1000 ABS

$4249 $5999 $6099 $5799 $5999 $6199 $6399 $10,599 $9999 $10,299 $9799 $14,999 $16,749 $12,499 $12,999 $12,499 $TBA $17,999 $TBA $15,599 $16,299 $22,700 $23,700 $23,900 $27,300 $19,999 $22,099 $24,999 $34,000 $TBA $40,400 $10,099 $10,299 $12,499 $12,499 $24,499 $6399 $8199 $15,999

KYMCO

kymco.com.au Road CK 125 Cruiser Venox 250 Scooter Super 8 125 Like 125 Espresso 150 Like 200 Downtown 300i ABS

$2095 $5295 $2595 $2995 $2799 $3395 $7495

MOTO GUZZI

www.motoguzzi.com.au Road V7 III Stone V7 III Special V7 III Racer V7 III Anniversario V9 Bobber V9 Roamer Cruiser Cali Audace Carbon Cali 1400 Eldorado Cali 1400 Touring SE MGX-21

$12,990 $13,990 $16,490 $16,990 $15,190 $15,190 $23,990 $23,990 $25,990 $35,000

MV AGUSTA

www.mvagusta.com.au Road Brutale 675 F3 675 F3 675 RC Brutale 800 Brutale 800 RR Brutale 800 Dragster Brutale 800 Dragster RR F3 800 F3 800 RC Stradale 800 Turismo Veloce 800 Turismo Veloce Lusso 800 Brutale 1090 Brutale 1090 RR Brutale 1090 Corsa F4 F4 RR F4 RC

$15,799 $18,699 $20,999 $18,699 $19,999 $20,499 $23,499 $19,999 $23,490 $19,999 $20,499 $23,499 $19,999 $22,999 $27,999 $24,499 $33,999 $55,880

PIAGGIO

KTM

www.piaggio.com.au

www.ktm.com.au Road RC 390 390 Duke 690 Duke R 690 SMC R 1290 Super Duke R 1290 Super Duke GT

$14,695 $19,955 $23,995 $25,995

*Some Piaggio prices are ride away

$6495 $6995 $14,995 $14,695 $24,995 $26,995

Scooter Typhoon 125 Fly 150 3V Liberty S 150 3V Medley 150 Yourban 300

$2790 $3490 $3790 $5290 $9790

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AMM_59_design.indd 110

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BV 350 Sport Touring X10 350 X10 500

$8190 $9490 $9,990

ROYAL ENFIELD

www.royalenfieldaustralia.com Road Classic 350 Bullet 500 Classic 500 Classic Desert Storm Classic Battle Green Classic Squadron Blue Classic Chrome Continental GT Adv Touring Himalayan

$5590 $7490 $7790 $7790 $7790 $7790 $7990 $8590 $5990

SOL INVICTUS

www.solinvictus.com.au Road

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$4999 $6999

SUZUKI

www.suzukimotorcycles.com.au Road Inazuma 250 TU250X GSX250R DR-Z400SM GSX-R600 SV650 GSX-S750 GSX-R750 GSX-S1000 GSX-S1000F GSX-R1000 GSX-R1000R GSX1300R Hayabusa Cruiser Boulevard S40 Boulevard C50T Boulevard C90 Boulevard M109R Boulevard M109R Blk Adv Touring DR200S DR650SE V-Strom 650 V-Strom 650 LAMS V-Strom 650 XT V-Strom 1000 V-Strom 1000 XT V-Strom 1000 GT Scooter Address Burgman 200 ABS Burgman 650 ABS

$4990 $5990 $5790 $8990 $14,990 $8990 $11,490 $15,990 $14,990 $15,790 $21,990 $25,490 $19,290 $7990 $10,990 $15,490 $18,990 $19,490 $4990 $8090 $10,990 $10,290 $11,490 $15,490 $16,490 $18,490 $2490 $5490 $13,590

$7490 $7990 $8990 $9490 $9990

TRIUMPH

www.triumphmotorcycles.com.au *Some Triumph prices are ride away

Road Street Triple S 660 Street Triple S Street Triple R Street Triple RS Daytona 675 Daytona 675 R Bonneville Street Twin Bonne Bobber Black Bonne Street Cup Street Scrambler Bonne T100 Bonne T100 Black Bobber Bonneville T120 Bonneville T120 Black Speedmaster Thruxton 1200 Thruxton R 1200 Tiger Sport Speed Triple S Speed Triple R Cruiser Thunderbird Storm Thunderbird Commander Thunderbird LT Rocket Roadster Rocket Touring Adv Touring Tiger 800 XR Tiger 800 XRx/L Tiger 800 XRt Tiger 800 XC Tiger 800 XCx/L Tiger 800 XCa Explorer 1200 XRx Explorer 1200 XCx/L Explorer 1200 XRt Explorer 1200 XCa

$12,800 $13,800 $15,850 $17,550 $14,990 $16,990 $13,700 $TBA $15,600 $15,900 $15,300 $15,300 $18,000 $17,200 $17,200 $TBA $18,700 $21,100 $17,550 $18,500 $20,900 $22,800 $23,800 $25,000 $23,990 $26,490 $14,090 $17,100 $18,350 $15,590 $18,150 $19,950 $22,900 $23,900 $24,900 $26,900

URAL

www.imz-ural.com.au Road cT cT Dark Force Adv Touring Tourist Retro/M70 Ranger

$21,780 $24,850 $23,760 $24,970 $24,970

VESPA

www.vespa.com.au

SWM

www.swmmotorcycles.com.au Road Gran Turismo

Silver Vase 440 Gran Milano 440 SM 500 R SM 650 R Adv Touring Superdual

$7490

Scooter Primavera 125 3V Primavera 150 3V Sprint 150 3V

$5590 $6290 $6390

Sprint 150 3V SE GTS 150 3V PX150 PX150 Touring 946 Bellissima 946 Armani GTS250ie FL GTS300 Super GTS300 Super Sport

$6490 $6290 $6490 $6790 $12,490 $14,990 $7890 $9190 $9490

YAMAHA

www.yamaha-motor.com.au Road YZF-R15 MT-03 R3 R3 SP SR400 YZF-R6 MT-07 LA MT-07 HO MT-07 Tracer XSR700 LA MT-09 XSR900 MT-09 Tracer MT-10 MT-10SP YZF-R1 YZF-R1 SP YZF-R1M XJR1300 FJR1300 FJR1300AE Cruiser Virago V Star 650 Custom V Star 650A Classic Star Bolt Star Bolt C-Spec Cafe V Star 950 XVS1300 Stryker XVS1300 Stryker SE V Star 1300 Roadliner Roadliner Tourer Adv Touring XT250 Tenere Super Tenere Super Tenere ESP Scooter BeeWee 125 NMAX Tricity Tricity ABS XMax 300 XP530 TMAX ABS

$4299 $5799 $6299 $6399 $8099 $17,499 $9999 $10,599 $12,299 $10,999 $12,299 $12,999 $15,499 $18,499 $21,499 $23,999 $24,999 $31,999 $14,499 $24,999 $27,999 $6799 $10,799 $11,299 $11,999 $12,699 $13,999 $15,499 $16,099 $15,999 $21,799 $24,399 $6299 $13,999 $19,999 $21,999 $3399 $4199 $4299 $4699 $TBA $13,999

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AMM_59_design.indd 111

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5/12/17 10:25 am

BEARFACED

BLOODY HELL*!

T

HE AMBULANCE officer who had pulled me out from under the Armco snickered when I showed him my neck tag with my blood group on it in the hope of getting him to replace some of the sticky fluid currently leaking from me into the gravel.

“Do you seriously think we’d give you a transfusion on the basis of a tag?” he said. “You obviously don’t know: one, what happens if we give you the wrong blood; two, that there is non-specific fluid we can give you; and three, how quick and easy it is to establish your blood group.”

The subject of blood came to mind when I read Lester’s column last month about the bikini-clad (or perhaps unclad) scooter riders. There is no getting around the fact that as a motorcyclist you’re more likely to see your own or a mate’s blood than if you’re a surfer, say. Unless it’s Great White Dining Out time. I’ve perhaps seen more than my share of my own leaking blood-type bodily fluids, except for people like Frenchy Frank.

Frank did not have a noticeable job, so whenever he wanted to buy a new bike he would step out in front of a car. He was the only person I ever met who actually liked hospital food, and the compensation payment was usually enough to fund the bike. And no, that compensation system no longer exists – possibly partly because of idiots like Frank abusing it. His theory on blood was that you had a lot of it inside you. “Mate,” he’d say, “I’ve never run out of it.”

I guess he’s right, too. When another mate whom we’ll call Barrie, mainly because that is his name, fell off his bike his broken ribs punctured his body cavity.

Two days later, when he

112

finally agreed to go to hospital because he could no longer breathe, the surgeon ladled litres of jellied blood out of his chest.

Bloody… I was on my way across the Pacific on the good ship Polynesie, operated by Messageries Maritimes on behalf of the French government to carry mail and passengers between French overseas possessions. We had a layover of a few days in Tahiti – more so the crew could enjoy cheap booze and the favours of the local ladies than anything else, I suspect - and a few of us more adventurous souls rented Mobylettes.

You’ve probably seen photos of these skeletal little scooters with their engines and fuel tanks above the front wheel.

One evening while returning to the wharf where the good ship Polynesie was loading copra in a desultory manner, I came upon some roadworks. In the happy state induced by an evening in Harry’s Bar, I rode up the berm provided by excavated soil and then flew straight into the ditch from which the soil had come. Not too bad, except that there were fang-like ends of rebar sticking out of the walls of the ditch.

I will never know how I avoided being disemboweled, but all I sustained were superficial injuries. I extracted the Mobylette from the ditch – they’re very light, and I was younger then – and returned to the ship and my cabin. In the morning, I resembled nobody more than Caesar on the

afternoon of the Ides of March. My bloodstained bedsheet was stuck to me by the abrasions and shallow cuts all over my body. As is usual in these sorts of cases, my cabinmates thought I was possibly the funniest thing they had ever seen. I was taken outside and drenched in bucket after bucket of seawater – ouch! – before the sheet slipped from my partially raw body.

Being subsequently drenched in iodine by the ship’s doctor did nothing for my appearance either; in my patchy state I now appeared to be suffering from leprosy.

A well-deserved fate? Of course. At least the renter of the Mobylette did not charge me for the slightly off-round front wheel and minor scratches in the paint. He thought it was funny, too.

Let me leave you with another misfortune suffered by a friend, or perhaps an acquaintance. I won’t mention his name because he would demand free beers if I did. He had never ridden a motocross-type bike, but when the opportunity arose he was keen and set out on another mate’s PE175.

There was no helmet to fit him, so he donned a well and truly oversized dirt bike helmet. On the first jump he miscalculated and arrived face-first in the dirt at the same time as the bike did.

His face, unfortunately, kept going inside the helmet and struck the chin bar. When we lifted the helmet off him, his face was entirely wet - and red.

“There’s a thought,” the helmet’s owner said. “Vampire motocross…” *I’ve had it pointed out to me that this magazine really ought to be safe for small children to read, and that therefore the language should be mild at most. Sadly for those who ask this, there is no motorcycle magazine aimed at small children, but this one is aimed at adults and thus may well not be suitable for them. Bad luck, kiddies.

As for words like “heck” instead of hell, I have been assured that heck is the place where people go who say things like “darn” and “jeez”. I have no wish to join them there. D

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7/12/17 7:28 pm

BORIS

FOB ME OFF I

’M NOT SURE who the first offender was. It might have been Harley. It might have been BMW. It might have been Ducati. It might have been Indian.

Ultimately it doesn’t matter. The fob genie is out of the fob bottle, and heaving poo-covered rocks of fobby displeasure through the office windows of Milwaukee, Munich, Bologna or Spirit Lake is not going to put him back.

Still, I do wish I was at the meeting when some doubtlessly car-driving genius touted the idea of introducing keyless ignition to the company’s motorcycle range. Presumably because his company car had keyless ignition and he liked it, and obviously something so modern and wizardlike, and even…like, exclusive, would assist customers in making the decision to buy the bike.

I would have punched him. Over and over. And then taken a chair to him.

Proper old school style.

How is this fob rubbish better than having a key? What advantages does it offer over using a key?

I am unable to identify a single one.

And I have tried.

My wife has a car which has a fob. Beaut thing. She loves it. It’s all very modern.

I don’t hate it. You press a button on the fob, the car unlocks itself, you get in, toss the fob in the console (or in your handbag if you’re a woman or a man who uses handbags), press the ignition button and off you go.

On a bike it’s a bit different.

Most bike fobs don’t have buttons to press. They do have an inbuilt proximity sensor, so when the fob is near the bike, all the rider has to do is thumb the starter button and ride off. Except he first has to put the fob in his pocket.

And that’s when it all goes to Hell.

I am a creature of ancient and proven habits. My bike key, when it’s not sitting in the bike’s ignition, goes into my left-hand jeans pocket.

114

Thus has it ever been.

When I put a fob into my jeans pocket it sits there like a fossilised rodent and grinds into my delicate upper thigh. It absolutely ruins the cut and fit of my jeans and in the right light, makes it look like I have some kind of groinal tumour on my pelvis.

If I crash, the fob will doubtlessly rend my upper-leg arteries with jagged plastic. If I get it wet (and I have been known to get very wet riding a motorcycle) I’m pretty sure I won’t be riding the bike the fob belongs to anywhere.

“So put the fob in your jacketpocket, stupid!”

No. The fob does not belong in my jacket pocket. It’s too important to commit to a large pocket I might leave unzipped (I do that with frightening regularity), have it fall out, then have the bike stop in the middle of nowhere, and then I run off into the scrub screaming and tearing at my flesh because I have lost the fob.

No. The fob must live in my jeans pocket. So I can touch it from time to time and reassure myself it is still there. But it cannot live in my jeans pocket because it is too large to live in my jeans pocket.

So the options for the fob are as follows…

I can tie it around my neck on a leather thong.

I can duct-tape it to the tank.

I can hold it in my mouth as I ride.

I can shelve it like a prisoner smuggling drugs into his cell.

I can make my wife put it in her handbag and take her everywhere with me.

Or, and this is my favourite, I can take a hammer and smash the cruddy, plastic gimmick into a thousand recyclable pieces.

Yes, I know. It’s such a little thing you say. Why are you getting all Bolshevik about such a wonderful piece of modern technology?

Well, it’s not “such a little thing”.

It’s quite a sizeable thing which makes me uncomfortable and unhappy when I must wedge it into a pocket, then ward and nurture it like it’s some kind of Precious.

Secondly, while it’s certainly a wonderful piece of modern technology, it’s a completely unnecessary piece of modern technology for a bike.

There was nothing ever wrong with the ignition key paradigm. Key in bike when bike is running. Key in pocket when bike is not running.

It was a paradigm that didn’t need to be updated. It did certainly did not need to be replaced by some gimmicky chunk of electronic wank-plastic dreamed up by some fitted-pant-sporting throb-jockey keen to make a name for himself with his bosses.

Talk about solving a problem that never existed. D

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59

AMM

JANUARY 2018

EICMA 2017 / SUMMERTIME TRAVEL / AHRRC / GUZZI V7III RACER / BENELLI TNT 125 / HONDA RC30

ISSUE #11, VOL 5