Australian Motorcyclist Issue #56

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COME RIDE WITH US IN NORTH VIETNAM! YES! YOU!

� � i � � r Aus�

FREE

TEARIN S ID E :

TO OUT MO

THE LAST FRONTIER? RIDING A TIGER IN ICELAND

GT TO U R IN RCYCLE

R AV E L M

AP

2017 OCTOBER

IDE BEAR INS

BIKES!

DUCATI MONSTER 1200 S YAMAHA FJR1300AE MOTO GUZZI V7 BMW G 310 R YAMAHA R6

TRAVEL

PLANNING YOUR TOUR LEARN FROM SOMEONE ELSE’S MISTAKES!

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340798 000228

1 0

AUS $9.95 (Inc GST) NZ $10.95 (Inc GST)

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CONTI ROAD ATTACK 3 / UNZUD MAP / POTM: TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE ALPINE RALLY / NEW IN THE SHOPS IS BACK! / NO WAY: YOU CAN’T GO THERE! BORIS GETS CROSS / THE BEAR GETS SEXY / LESTER GETS EXHAUSTED 31/08/2017 2:54 pm

NEW APRILIA 2017 RSV4 RACING IS IN OUR BLOOD, IN OUR HEAD, IN OUR DNA.

NEW APRILIA 2017 RSV4 RACING IS IN OUR BLOOD, IN OUR HEAD, IN OUR DNA

RSV4 SUPERPOLE RRP

$31,990

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DESIGNED FOR RACERS, BUILT FOR RIDERS. The new 2017 Aprilia RSV4 evolves radically to continue to be a leader in the superbike category the result of an extraordinary and winning project, born out of Aprilia’s successful racing experience.

The 2017 model features a new Öhlins suspension system, new braking system, new APRC electronic controls package that includes cornering ABS plus downshifter and all new colour TFT instrumentation. The 201 hp Euro 4 engine combines with a seven-time world superbike champion chassis architecture to make the new RSV4 more dynamic than ever! Contact your nearest Aprilia Dealer for a test ride today! aprilia.com.au

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/apriliaaus

@apriliaaus

Official Aprilia

28/08/2017 11:37 am

CONTENTS 08 SPECIAL FEATURE

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PLAN YOUR TOUR Learn from someone else’s mistakes

“There’s something about a holiday that isn’t all about how much money you spend.”

HILARIE BURTON

SWEET AS A PEACH

TESTING

10 42 66 80 88

YAMAHA YZF-R6 Sex sells BMW G 310 R Germans can be fun MOTO GUZZI V7 Stop and smell the roses YAMAHA FJR1300AE Electrifying!

DUCATI MONSTER 1200 S Get your juices flowing

TRAVEL

18 34 58 76 96

TOURING ICELAND Bring your ice skates!

MOTORCYCLIST TOUR Come with us to Vietnam!

PUB OF THE MONTH Two for the price of one POSTIE NOTES 15 Mo and Jacqui are pushed to the limits NO WAY No! You cannot ride there

TEAR-OUT MAP

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SOUTH ISLAND, NZ Our 3rd Unzud map – three times as good!

EVENT

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ALPINE RALLY Cold, but not that cold

SEXY, SEXY, SEXY!

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TECHNICAL

48 64 71

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CONTINENTAL ROAD ATTACK 3 Are these the new top sport touring tyre?

LONG TERMERS It’s begun!

USED & REVIEWED Wrapping up a Bear

SAY THE REST. SOME THE BEST

A GEARED UP BEAR

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JUMP IN THE WATER’S ICY! LIL BEEMER GETS THE THUMBS UP.

06 08 63 85 100 102 105 108 112 114

EDITORIAL He made it!

NEWS Very interesting that WHERE’S THE BEAR He’s trying to be sneaky NEW IN THE SHOPS It’s back! We told you!

GRIZZLING Is he grumpy or nice this month?

CLASSIC MORRIS Lester is getting exhausted WHAT SAY YOU You’re finally talking NEW BIKE PRICES New H-D prices and many more BEAR FACED Is he digging his own grave with this one?

BORIS Reminiscing the days of the Cross

Australian Motorcyclist

Australian Motorcyclist Magazine

Australian Motorcyclist Magazine

@AusMotrCyclist

94

Please enjoy Australian MOTORCYCLIST Magazine responsibly and add this issue to your collection. MOST BACK ISSUES ARE STILL AVAILABLE; just visit the website www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au or drop us a line to contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com.au www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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EDITORSPEAKS

Editor Stuart Woodbury Contributing Editor J Peter Thoeming Sales Manager Ralph Leavsey-Moase ralph@ausmotorcyclist.com.au Photo Editor Nick Wood Designer Amy Hale Photographers Nick Wood Photography, Half-Light Photography Contributors Robert Crick, Jacqui Kennedy, Robert Lovas, Phil Gadd, Boris Mihailovic, Lester Morris, The Possum, Colin Whelan Editorial contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com.au Subscription enquiries www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au info@ausmotorcyclist.com.au 0412 220 680 Printer PRINTED IN AUSTRALIA Distributor Gordon and Gotch Australian Motorcyclist Magazine is published by Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111 Phone 0412 220 680.

This publication is copyright. Other than for the purposes of research, study, criticism, review, parody or satire and subject to the conditions prescribed under the Copyright Act 1968, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted without the prior written permission of Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. Opinions expressed within this publication do not necessarily represent those of Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. No responsibility is accepted by Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd or the editor for the accuracy of any statement, opinion or advice contained in the text or advertisements. Readers should rely on their own enquiries in making decisions tailored to their own interest. *Recommended retail price Copyright © Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd ACN 161 432 506 ISSN 2201-5442

We encourage you to keep or recycle this magazine.

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The words of wisdom just bubble forth. True.

W

HEN SOMEONE copies what we do I consider it a form of flattery. Some people would be mighty pissed off, but it just shows that we are in front of the field. I’m talking about a particular magazine that has copied a number of things we have done recently. I guess they lack imagination? Whatever it is I guess it shows we’re doing it right and I can hear Ralph saying to me, “It shows that we’re the leader”!

Did you notice the deliberate mistake I put in the last issue? I want to stir your emotions and get you writing to us. The mistake, if you missed picking up on it was about our pullout map. I said that it was our first New Zealand pullout map when in fact it is our second. If you’ve been a long time reader then you may have noticed, but the first NZ map was back in issue #20. I did this in response to a letter in the last issue (#55) titled, “Gotcha”.

Well, I ‘gotcha’ this time!

Do you have a bucket list? I have never really thought I have one but I guess in some ways you could say that I do. There are many places I’d love to ride but if I don’t get there in my lifetime I’m not overly concerned, hence it’s not a ‘bucket list’ as such.

But I recently rode the first half of the BMW GS Safari Enduro from Cairns to Cape York. I have long wanted to ride to the tip of Australia

just to say that I did it. There were many other riders who no doubt had the same idea, as the Safari was the largest since the Enduro version was first introduced back in 2013. I also happened to be on that one. The Enduro version is meant for the more experienced GS riders out there and some of the tracks on the way to the Cape really tested a lot of them out.

You can read all about the first half of the trip in the next issue which happens to be an adventure touring packed issue.

If you want to have an amazing adventure to the Cape I strongly recommend riding with the awesome guys from Cape York Motorcycle Adventures. Roy and his team have a number of tours available at an awesome price. You use his bikes and the best part is you’ll see far north Queensland in a way that no other trip can offer on a motorcycle, and you get to the tip of Australia to have your photo taken with ‘The Sign’. I do suggest you have some off-road experience before attempting the trip though, as it will make the experience all the more enjoyable. When discussing a tour with Roy and his team tell them you heard about him through us, I’m sure he’ll shout you a beer or two. Visit www.capeyorkmotorcycles.com.au or call 07 4055 0050.

Enjoy!

Cheers, Stuart.

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17/08/2017 3:53 pm 24/8/17 11:43 am

NEWS

DUST IT OFF!

RIDE TO WORK WEEK In a first for the Australian motorcycle industry, all the major motorcycle brands have joined forces to encourage riders across the country to get their motorcycle out of the garage and ride it to work.

The “National Ride Your Motorcycle to Work Week” will run from October 8 to 15 under a dealer-focused initiative designed to offer riders every opportunity to “get back on the bike” after the winter sabbatical, despite many of us already riding just about every day, regardless of the weather!

A dedicated website (www. ridetoworkweek.com.au) has been launched; as has a dedicated Facebook feed and other social media content, with the added bonus of the general public being able to upload images of their motorcycle, and related “ride-towork” activities.

There is also an events page where riders can create a “Ride to Work” event and invite like-minded people to meet together and organise a show of numbers for the October ride to work. The hashtag #RideToWorkWeek is one for riders to follow. Australia’s motorcycle dealer network will play its role with a range of support services such as bike safety checks, advice on where to seek rider training, and of course the opportunity to upgrade your current motorcycle to the latest and greatest. So make plans to join the crowd this October, and prepare for National Ride your Motorcycle to Work Week.

THE APP

AMM VIA ZINIO We received a number of emails about our app which is sourced via Zinio. A number of you were having troubles downloading the last issue, some the last

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couple. Zinio admitted there was an issue with the app and wishes for any of our readers having issues with the Zinio app to contact them at appsupport@ ziniopro.com and they will keep in touch until the issue is resolved.

Touratech parts, visit our website at www.touratech.com.au

BUSINESS AS USUAL

SPICY

TOURATECH AUSTRALIA It’s business as usual for Touratech Australia as the company’s German parent enters a restructuring process to facilitate increased demand for its products.

“We welcome and fully support Touratech Germany’s decision to restructure the company under German

TRIUMPH AND BAJAJ COMBINE Triumph Motorcycles and Bajaj have announced a global partnership. The objective is to produce a range of midcapacity motorcycles which will help Triumph reach new markets. Further details will be released in due course.

WINNER WINNER!

law, and look forward to an even brighter future,” Touratech Australia’s Robin Box said.

“Over the past two years we’ve seen a rapid growth in the adventure market, and that has required Touratech to ramp up their production of parts to cope with demand.

“However, we are happy to report supply has been improving, we absolutely support the restructure process, and be assured it’s business as usual for production in Germany, and for Touratech Australia.”

Touratech Australia is independently owned, and the restructure in Germany will have no effect on either the Australian operations, or to its customers. To see the full range of

HE GETS THE METZELER DINNER! You may have noticed we’ve been running a Metzeler tyre giveaway courtesy of Cassons for one lucky subscriber each month for the last few months. We thought we’d share with you our latest winner, David Ferlazzo. David says, “It sounds like a Hollywood cliche but I am thrilled to have won the subs prize - I rarely win anything and I’m known as the kiss of death whenever buying raffle tickets etc. Please keep up all the good work that you all do in presenting such a great magazine.

I have attached a photo of my R1150gsa on the Birdsville track about 100k north of Marree.”

Want to be that lucky devil that gets a phone call from us telling you you’ve won? Well, all you need to do is subscribe or resubscribe and you’re in the draw to WIN! Just jump onto our website at www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au/ product-store/ D

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30/8/17 7:41 pm

Iconic Z900 name re-born.

A cutting edge rider-focused Supernaked with a sublime balance of power and handling. The tubular trellis frame houses a willing and responsive 4-cylinder engine while the styling and rider experience reflect a refined and raw feeling that only Z riders can experience. » Sublime 948cm3 in-line four » Exhilarating intake howl » Ultra-lightweight frame » Comfortable, low seat height » Aggressive Z family styling » Racing inspired Assist and Slipper clutch

Pearl Mystic Grey

kawasakiaus

@kawasakimotors

For more information visit www.kawasaki.com.au

Always ride responsibly. Always ride within the limits of your skills, your experience and your machine. Wear an approved helmet and protective clothing. The actions depicted here took place under controlled conditions with professional riders.

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24/8/17 11:44 am

LAUNCH

YAMAHA YZF-R6

The smell of sex

WORDS Stuart PHOTOS HALF LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHIC

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launch

I

ntroduced to the supersport scene back in 1999, the Yamaha R6 was the first production motorcycle to achieve 200hp per litre – no mean feat, especially when you think back to bikes of the time like the heavy YZF600 Thundercat (which the R6 was based on) and YZF1000 Thunderace.

The powerful engine combined with supreme lightness, great handling

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and braking saw the R6 dominate supersport racing the world over.

In Australia it was the King, Kev Curtain, who made sure there was blue on the top step of the podium more often than not.

Since the R6 introduction back in ‘99 there have been numerous updates and changes through the years, with the last changes back in 2010. Why change a proven and race winning package if you don’t have to, I guess!

Flick the calendar for a while and 2017 sees the introduction of the new R6 – essentially a very similar bike underneath. But the changes made to this new machine will see blue continuing to stand on the top step.

So that I don’t keep referring back to “this or that has changed” between the previous and new models, the major R6 changes are to the suspension, subframe, fairing and flywheel – the rest of the bike is

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LAUNCH

virtually the same as previously.

The most noticeable change to the new R6 is its appearance. Think R1 and you’d be pretty close except that the R6 is a little sharper in styling again – it has the smell of sex about it, one that you cannot resist. The new fairing is 8% more aerodynamic and the screen is easier to get down behind – even for an elephant like me! This of course makes the R6 faster along the straights.

Yamaha has three defined target markets for the R6. One is trackday nuts who want a supersport to show up their litre bike riding mates.

Second is the everyday sportsbike rider on the street and third is “hot people”, as in hot looking girls and guys whom the R6 has long attracted.

Electronics such as power modes, traction and ABS are fitted but even so you’ll want full power, no traction and no ABS; although the ABS can only be turned off as an accessory racing part.

The forks are taken from the R1. They are 43mm units up from 41mm. Fully adjustable, they provide less flex under hard braking and this is backed up by a larger axle. With a kit insert it can be raced successfully by most racers. To match the forks the shock has also been recalibrated and is fully adjustable. For my time ripping around Sydney Motorsport Park GP circuit I had two turns of preload wound in the shock, two of preload and one of compression on the forks. I was chasing stability under brakes for my fat arse.

Talking about my fat arse the subframe has been redesigned. It is now 20mm narrower at the front and the seat is flatter/longer so it’s easier to move around and tuck down in the straights. The subframe is still made from magnesium, too.

Combine this with the slimmer design of the aluminium tank and smaller supersport racers will find the new R6 easier to ride faster, while for us

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LAUNCH

SPECS YAMAHA YZF-R6

Wanna race?

I also got to ride a customer race version of the new R6. Many parts had been changed to make it better again than the standard version. A rundown of the parts is as follows: Blocked off ABS unit, braided steel brake lines, CCU fitted, PCV – Power commander fuel controller, PC Auto tuner, race pattern quickshifter, Öhlins FKR102 gas cartridge fork kit and springs, Öhlins TTX shock absorber, Öhlins steering damper kit (across the top type), GYTR air filter, GYTR 520 pitch race chain and sprockets kit (SMSP gearing), Dunlop ASBK SMSP spec Supersport Racing tyre set, race fairings, GB engine cases and YRT crash knobs.

I cut a few laps and had a ball on this bike. Not only was the suspension supremely better, the stickier tyres and better gearing made a huge difference. If you want to race a supersport machine, look no further.

taller fellas, our inner thighs won’t be getting bruised from the flared part of the tank. A win-win!

More R1 parts have been bolted to the R6. The R1S (which is the base model R1) 320mm discs and radial mounted four piston calipers give massive amounts of stopping power and you racers or trackday riders -

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the extra performance will see you cutting lap times quite easily.

The engine is essentially the same as before, except there is now a lighter flywheel. You have to ride this bike like a two-stroke as there is virtually nothing under 10,000rpm. Get above that, however, and things really start to liven up! Peak power is made at 14,500rpm.

The last of the major changes for the R6 is the dash. A large, dominating analogue tacho is easy to read at all speeds with a digital component to the right hand side containing all the info you could want, including a gear position indicator, shift light and stopwatch.

Minor changes to the new R6 include a lighter lithium battery; new ECU – with settings to match new controls; new front brake bracket – more rigid, new lights; smaller, lighter LEDs, new wheel hub shape for improved ABS braking; new swingarm, R1 type with sensor; new, smaller ACM rotor for optimised power consumption (LED lights); and an EU4 compliant exhaust collector which I have no doubt all racers will chuck in the bin.

If you want a motorcycle that harks back to the days of high corner speed and high revs like a two-stroke racer, the Yamaha R6 is top of the tree. Expect lots of blue to be hogging podiums (again) worldwide from now on. D

PRICE: $17,499 (plus on-road charges) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 10,000km or 12 months ENGINE: Liquid-cooled in-line four cylinder, 4-stroke, DOHC, 4 valves per cylinder BORE x STROKE: 67 x 42.5mm DISPLACEMENT: 599cc COMPRESSION: 13.1:1 POWER: 91kW @ 14,500rpm TORQUE: 57.5Nm @ 11,500rpm TRANSMISSION: 6-speed, wet multi-plate slipper clutch, chain final drive SUSPENSION: Front, 43mm inverted fork, adjustable preload, compression and rebound, travel 120mm. Rear, monoshock, adjustable preload, compression and rebound, travel 120mm.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 850mm, weight 190kg (wet), fuel capacity 17 litres, wheelbase 1375mm TYRES: Front, 120/70/ZR17. Rear, 180/55/ZR17 FRAME: Diamond BRAKES: Front, twin 320mm discs with radial mount four-piston ABS calipers. Rear, 220mm disc, single-piston ABS caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 6.6 litres per 100km (claimed), premium unleaded THEORETICAL RANGE: 257km COLOURS: Team Yamaha Blue, Tech Black, Intensity White/Matt Silver VERDICT: WIN WITH THE BLUCRU

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travel “The problem with driving around Iceland is that you’re basically confronted by a new soul-enriching, breath-taking, life-affirming natural sight every five goddamn minutes. It’s totally exhausting.” - StEPhEn MaRKlEY, TalEs OF IcElanD

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KNEE-DEEP IN NICELAND (Part 1)

Island of fire, ice and beer

My ‘Icelandic Pony’, a Triumph Tiger 800 XCx. The bike was perfect for the conditions, as were the Heidenau tyres. www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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T R AV E L

WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR

T

HE MOST COMMON nickname for Iceland is ‘Niceland’, and although they came up with it themselves, the locals resent it fiercely. To compensate, they have built up a public image of themselves as rumbustious badass drinking and fighting Vikings, complete with horned helmets (for sale in every tourist shop and even some convenience stores) and wild beards.

This can’t hide their essential niceness, which shines through despite all of their efforts to the contrary, but it still annoys more thoughtful Icelanders.

“The original settlers were taxdodging peasants, not Vikings,” said one stylish young lady with whom I had struck up a casual conversation in a Reykjavik bar.

“Ingolfur Arnarson wasn’t a Viking.

Hardly any of them ever went viking. And not a single horned helmet has ever been found in all of Iceland.” – “Or anywhere else,” said her red-haired friend. “And see my hair? That comes from the Irish women slaves they brought with them. Probably the Norwegian

women were too smart to go.” She then bought herself, her friend and me replacement half litres of Viking Classic and we went on to discuss other matters.

“Is it true that Icelanders eat puffins?” I asked. “Not really,” the redhead responded scornfully.

“That’s for tourists, like the rotted shark and the Black Death.”

Icelanders refer to their local spirit, Brennivin, as ‘Black Death’ from the skull and crossbones that used to adorn the label. That doesn’t mean they don’t drink it, though, and from 1933 to 1989 they mixed it with lowalcohol lager to make bjórlíki. This reputedly disgusting cocktail was called ‘ghost beer’ and was popular because full-strength beer was banned. Don’t ask why; it’s down to intra-Scandinavian politics, which are often impenetrable.

Beer was legalised on the 1st of March 1989, and this has become a national festival day. Naturally it is celebrated by going out and getting blind drunk, which is also popular on the other 364 days of the year.

When I checked the statistics, I found that Icelanders actually drink less than other Scandinavians, but don’t tell them.

There are quite a few craft

breweries in Iceland now which make decent beer, and even the standard Viking brand is not a bad brew. Watch that Black Death, though, especially because it is often offered in company with the rotted shark. As my redheaded friend pointed out, the locals do not touch this vile combination; it is reserved for tourists. Naturally I tried it, and found that the Brennivin is just a pleasant, strong, lightly-flavoured akvavit while the shark has almost no flavour and a texture like a sliver of bamboo covered on both sides in congealed, elastic pig fat. Yummy.

Now pass the roasted puffin.

A Tale of Two Islands To get Iceland into some sort of scale, let’s compare it with Tasmania – a place already dear to Australian (and many overseas) riders.

Tassie has the larger population at more than half a million, while Iceland has about a third of a million. Iceland is roughly half as big again as Tassie, at 103,000 square kilometres as against 68,400.

The central plain is only accessible by gravel roads.

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31/08/2017 7:06 pm

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21/08/2017 5:30:28 PM 24/8/17 11:52 am

T R AV E L The roads that are tarred are usually in excellent condition.

EASY MONEY

Lufthansa never actually admitted that they had overbooked their flight from Frankfurt to Keflavik, Iceland’s main airport. But they began offering 400 Euros to passengers who would volunteer for alternative flights, which was a dead giveaway. Then they announced that the weather in

Red hair almost always points to Celtic slave ancestry in Iceland.

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AUSTRALIA

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T R AV E L

1 Iceland was bad (which I would have thought was a given) and that they would have to fly a smaller aircraft than planned. Since we were already two hours past the scheduled takeoff time for our flight, had changed gates three times and the staff showed no signs of letting anybody board an aircraft, I thought it was probably time to consider the alternative.

“About this other flight…” I said to the ruffled gatekeeper.

“The Copenhagen flight is full, but there is one via Berlin.”

“When?”

“At midnight,” she said hopefully.

“Tell you what. Get me onto the Copenhagen flight and you’re on.”

An hour later I was in the air to Copenhagen, and a couple of hours after that I was sitting in Silver Saga Class on an Icelandair 757, drinking my first ever Viking Classic and soaring over the North Sea. I was also A$600 better off, courtesy of Lufthansa. My beer fund was looking pretty healthy.

Reykjavik has its own airport right in the middle of town, rather as if

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2 Sydney had a runway down along Martin Place, but it only takes small aircraft. Keflavik is an hour out of town at Icelandic legal speeds, and I was in bed at my hotel by 11pm. The sky was still light, and would remain so (as I discovered later) until 3.00 am.

Sunrise would be at 4.30. Fortunately,

1. One of the many valley glacier which descend from the huge shield glacier Vatnajokull.

2. What Icelanders do eat a lot is delicious cod and chips, with delicious Viking Classic beer.

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BUILD YOUR OWN ADVENTURE.

SWM ADVENTURE

SUPERDUAL 650 MIKUNI BREMBO

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Seat Height 860mm Weight 169kg

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QUALITY COMPONENTRY

Brembo Brakes Sachs Asjustable Rear Shock Optional Givi Panniers

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24/8/17 11:54 am

T R AV E L

1

2 my medication enables me to sleep in bright sunlight.

Now I know what you’re going to ask me. Not how beautiful the beautiful nature is, nor how smooth or curvy the roads are. No, you want to know if the Icelandic girls really proposition blokes in the bars (I gather they do, although it doesn’t always work out) and if the place is really expensive. Until this trip my standard for ‘expensive’ was Norway, where a schooner of beer cost about A$10.

Well, in Iceland it costs about A$14.

Our guides, Manuel and Pablo, were unloading the almostnew bikes with their brand-new Heidenau tyres outside our hotel,

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the Icelandair Marina, when I checked in the morning. Oh, I should have mentioned that I was on an Edelweiss Bike Travel tour.

Conducted entirely with Triumph Tiger and Explorer motorcycles.

This was going to take me around the island in nine days. My bike was a Tiger 800XCx, as were most of the others, while the Explorers were mainly being used by couples. In case I forget to mention this later on, the 800cc Tigers were pretty much perfect for the trip except that a couple of things like my chain guard vibrated loose after lengthy gravel excursions, easily fixed by our mechanic Pablo. The high rate of

1. Volcanic scenery can be amazingly varied. This lake is known for its many islands.

2. Polar fox pups at play. They are hyperactive and almost impossibly cute.

fuel gauge failure was less easy to sort out, but the bikes have fuel warning lights as well and those kept working.

SOME LIKE IT HOT

Leaving Reykjavik is not a problem either in time or distance. Before

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we knew it we were out of town and on our way down towards the opportunity of a lifetime: walking across a small bridge which links the American and European continental plates above a line that widens at the dizzying speed of 3mm a year.

It might sound hokey, but it was a real buzz and there would be more opportunities along these lines (sorry) later.

Stop number two was the Blue Lagoon where you can bathe in the hot waste water of a power station… no, wait, that makes it sound a bit industrial. In fact it is quite stylish, although it’s also expensive at well over A$50 for a dip. There are many other opportunities to slip into hot volcanic waters (in this case after the power station has used some of their heat), and unlike the Blue Lagoon the others are free. Admittedly they lack the cool modern restaurant, which is the place our guides had selected for our lunch.

Maybe it’s time to give you a bit of background on the tour company.

THAILAND

10 DAYS VACATION JAN 24 - FEB 2, 2018 | NOV 13 - NOV 22, 2018

THAILAND EXTREME



 This Tour in Northern Thailand guarantees riding fun in exotic surrounding. www.edelweissbike.com

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T R AV E L

1 EDELWEISS, EDELWEISS…

Yes, we’ve all seen The Sound of Music, although some of us have managed to forget its more saccharine moments. But that song does linger in the memory… doesn’t it?

Edelweiss Bike Travel has been in business for more than three and a half decades. It operates from Mieming in Austria, a small alpine town, and runs tours all over the world. As a rule it uses its own motorcycle fleet, which means you get a well-cared for and new or near-new bike. The range of motorcycles is wide, from Ducati Scramblers to Ural outfits, and the bikes are matched to the style of the tour. On this one they

1. Iceland generates its power from volcanic heat and dammed-up water. All natural!

2. Don’t believe them!

Icelanders don’t consume Black Death and rotted shark.

were, as I’ve mentioned, all Triumphs: Tigers and Explorers.

Hotels are chosen carefully and I have yet to come up with

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SMC815 AMM#54 AMM_56.indd 29 StreetFighter 297x210_FA.indd 1

28/06/2017 3:56 am PM 24/8/17 11:56

T R AV E L Wherever you go there is volcanic activity. Check roadside pools before sticking your hand into them; they might be really hot.

a complaint about any of them.

All hotels on this tour had modern facilities, comfortable rooms and free wi-fi. There is a briefing every morning when one of the guides explains the day’s ride with the aid of a large-scale map; you will be supplied with a copy of the same map and a route book.

You can stick with the guide during the day, or you can choose your own route. All they really ask is to be informed where you’re going. Oh, and that you get to the day’s hotel in time for dinner!

Breakfast is included every day, while lunch is at your own expense and dinner is included on riding (not rest) days. There were no rest days on this tour, which is officially rated as an ‘Adventure’ tour and which ran over nine riding days. The ‘Adventure’ means that there are gravel roads, and there were. I’ve included contact details for Edelweiss at the end of this

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story, and I suggest you take a Captain Cook at the website. Keep a hanky handy; you will probably be salivating freely by the time you’ve finished.

DIRTY DOINGS

I had a good night’s sleep in my stylish pavilion room at the semi-rural Hotel Grimsborgir just out of Selfoss. Some of the others were not so lucky and jet lag caused a few bleary sets of eyes, with one bloke lamenting that he hadn’t gone to sleep until 4.00am when it finally got dark. Fortunately, everyone had pretty much settled in by the next night. Nobody complained, anyway.

Our first attraction for the day was Geysir. No, not a geyser – this is the original one after which all the others are named. It’s settled into wellearned retirement but its little brother Strokkur right next to it blows its top

every few minutes. To be brutally frank, it’s not a patch on Old Faithful in Yellowstone National Park but it’s still fun. Gulfoss, the nearby 35 metre ‘Golden Waterfall’, also has a story: an Englishman wanted to dam it for a hydroelectric project, but the daughter of the owner fought this idea in court (must have made for a few interesting dinner conversations) and eventually lost – but by then the Englishman had run out of money. The government owns the waterfall now and has declared it a nature reserve.

And then it was on, a couple of hundred kilometres of gravel across the middle of the island between two of its biggest glaciers. Nobody fell off, which was impressive considering that the gravel ranged from smooth as to, um, ‘loose’ and the scenery along the way was almost desolate enough to be in Australia. Seriously, it was a wonderful ride and I could see why

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ADVENTURE TOGETHER T HE U R A L R A N G E R SA HA R A

I M Z- U R A L .CO M . AU INFO@IMZ-URAL.COM.AU

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@URALAUSTRALIA

24/8/17 12:01 pm

t r av e l Erosion has created spectacular landscapes, like this ‘finger’ on the southern coast.

NASA had trained its astronauts for the Moon landing here in Iceland.

At our lunch stop, which looked a bit like an Antarctic weather station, there was a free hot pool in which some of our party disported themselves. I had forgotten my swimmers, and apparently even the open-minded Icelanders are reluctant to endorse (endure?) mixed skinny dipping.

A small but thoroughly modern little family hotel in Saudarkrokur was our stop that night, and the receptionist appeared to have a bottomless supply of the local craft ale in the kitchen.

There’s more! See our next issue.

Edelweiss Bike Travel www.edelweissbike.com D

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DISCOVER NEW HORIZONS. On and off road.

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Tour Vietnam Vietlong

VIETNAM HUNG PHAN TOUR Let’s go!

Y

OU’VE BEEN WAITING for it and here it is! Our next readers’ tour is to Vietnam and boy have we got a trip for you! We have an 11-day North Vietnam tour lined up with the experienced Vietlong Travel people. This tour will take in some of the most stunning sights and experiences there are to see and

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do in Vietnam. The route includes some dirt roads but Stuart will help you through if need be. It isn’t overly challenging so don’t fret. The Honda CRF250 is the perfect device to ride the route. We have also organised the days’ riding to not be overly long (although very visually appealing) so we can all soak up the atmosphere and

take plenty of photos. This ride is for solo riders, there is no facility for pillions.

We have organised two options for you to choose from. One is with flights, the other without.

You can also choose to have your own room each night for an extra few bucks. And whichever version you choose: it’s very affordable!

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The important stuff is

Dates – 4-14 March 2018 (Arrive on Sat 3rd March, fly out 15 March

How to book Vietlong Travel Tel: (+84 4) 39766534 Email: sales@vietlongtravel.com www.vietlongtravel.com or www.vietnam-motorbiketour.com/

• • • • • • • •

OPTION 1 – Without Flights US$2310 per person

• •

Inclusions:

•

•

• •

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

11 days, 12 nights Vietnam private group tour sharing double/twin rooms at standard hotels plus homestay Private transfers for the airport pick-up and see-off 3-star hotels in Hanoi at start and finish of tour Motorbike (Honda CRF250) Helmet & riding gear (if needed) Gasoline on tour 2 English speaking guides 1 Mechanic Accommodation as indicated in the itinerary (based on twin or/and triple shared) Homestay permission Meals as indicated in the itinerary Entrance fees & Sightseeing fees Bottled water 1 coffee or 1 cold beer or 1 cold soft drink for every stopover on tour Government taxes Van to carry luggage Add $190US if you want your own room

• • •

private group tour sharing double/twin rooms at standard hotels plus homestay Private transfers for the airport pick-up and see-off 3-star hotels in Hanoi at start and finish of tour Motorbike (Honda CRF250) Helmet & riding gear (if needed) Gasoline on tour 2 English speaking guides 1 Mechanic Accommodation as indicated in the itinerary (based on twin or/ and triple shared) Homestay permission Meals as indicated in the itinerary Entrance fees & Sightseeing fees Bottled water 1 Coffee or 1 cold beer or 1 cold soft drink for every stopover on tour Government taxes Van to carry luggage $190US if you want your own room

WITH FLIGHTS – arrive on Saturday 3rd March 2018 The itinerary is as follows

On landing at Noi Bai airport, you’ll be welcomed by our driver then escorted to your hotel for check-in.

Overnight at hotel in Hanoi.

Lay day March 4th – Hanoi A meeting between you and the operators and guides to finalise all necessary details before the tour’s departure the next day. This is a free day essentially to rest up and do a bit of shopping in the local area if you wish. Overnight at hotel in Hanoi.

OPTION 2 – With Flights US$2950 per person

Day 1: Hanoi to Mai Chau (Hoa Binh)

Inclusions:

Start of our tour by leaving Hanoi on dyke roads to avoid the heavy traffic around 9am. We ride our motorbikes

•

11 days, 12 nights Vietnam

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west to Mai Chau, an area of beautiful landscape and home to the Thai ethnic minority. We will ride on Highway 6, passing extensive farming lands comprising a sea of paddy fields split by tree-lined roads punctuated by limestone karst scenery. After a light lunch in Hoa Binh Province, we cross Thung Khe, one of the most beautiful mountain passes in North Vietnam, then descend to the mountain valley settlement of Mai Chau. After dinner we join a performance, where you can dance and share a range of special liquors (rice wine) with the locals.

Overnight in a house-on-stilts of the Thai people.

Summary: • • • •

Distance: 160km Meals: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner Offroad Ratio: 30% Accommodation: Home-stay

Day 2: Mai Chau to Phu Yen (Son La) Tribal Villages Mai Chau is one of the closest places to Hanoi where you can experience a ‘real’ Montagnard village. In the morning we take a short walk around the village to discover local life. Life in the countryside starts early so by sunrise there is a wealth of activity. You will see women weaving on looms under or inside their houses in the village. We can buy some handmade traditionalstyle clothing, knives or a cross-bow.

After breakfast in the home-stay, we say goodbye to villagers and leave Mai Chau around 10am. We ride from Mai Chau in the direction of Moc Chau, where we have lunch. This highland town produces some of Vietnam’s best tea and is a good place to stock up. The surrounding area is also home to several ethnic minorities, including Green H’mong, Dzao, Thai and Muong. Moc Chau boasts a pioneering dairy industry that started in the late 1970s with Australian (and later, UN) assistance.

After lunch, we turn to the less travelled Road 43 leading to the Da River, crossing the reservoir of the Da river at Van Yen ferry, then ride on a beautiful

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Aus�r��i�� Mag�����

VIETLONG VIETNAM HƯNG PHẤN TOUR RIDE VIETNAM WITH US ON OUR NEXT READERS TOUR!

DATES BOOK NOW! TOUR 3rd - 15th March 2018 Contact Vietlong Travel sales@vietlongtravel.com www.vietnam-motorbiketour.com Ph: (+84 904 124 997)

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T R AV E L

winding secondary road to Phu Yen where we stay the night.

• •

SUMMARY:

Day 4: Than Uyen to Sapa Villages (Lao Cai)

• • • •

Distance: 140km Meals: Breakfast, Lunch Offroad Ratio: 60% Accommodation: Hotel

Offroad Ratio: 60% Accommodation: Hotel

In the morning, we keep riding across Lung Lo pass before heading up on Road 32.

During the First Indochina War, the 15km long Lung Lo Pass, used by the Vietnamese resistance force to transport weapons, goods and food during the Dien Bien Phu campaign of 1954, was heavily bombed by the French in order to sever the front lines from the rear.

Lung Lo Pass, situated in the northern province of Yen Bai, has been recognised as a national heritage by the ministry. After lunch, we ride through the Mu Cang Chai massif, almost as high as the Fansipan. From the top, it offers one of the most beautiful views of North Vietnam. The ride is somewhat challenging but very rewarding.

Overnight in a hotel.

We ride straight toward the main Fansipan Mountain range. There is also the option for a challenging back route which takes us through several river crossings. The massive mountain range dominates the road until finally we make the splendid climb up from Binh Lu to the top of the highest road pass in Vietnam (Tram Ton Pass).

Crossing into Lao Cai Province at over 2000m the view sweeps out over the main range for miles and miles, before we descend to the mountainous Sa Pa valley. Sa Pa is in Lao Cai Province, north-west Vietnam, and 350km north-west of Hanoi, close to the border with China. Sapa is famous both for its fine, rugged scenery and for its rich cultural diversity. The French used Sapa as the Summer Capital of Northern Vietnam in the early decades of the 20th century. Its natural beauty keeps attracting more and more people to spend their vacation there since then. Particularly, the place is the foremost choice for honeymoon couples!

SUMMARY:

SUMMARY:

• •

• •

Day 3: Phu Yen to Than Uyen (Lai Chau)

Distance: 210km Meals: Breakfast, Lunch

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Distance: 110km Meals: Breakfast, Lunch

• •

Offroad Ratio: 60% Accommodation: Hotel

Day 5: Sapa to Bac Ha (Lao Cai) Motorcycle down from Sapa to Lao Cai City and then have a coffee-stop on the bank of Nam Thi river, which is the Vietnam/China border. Enjoy your coffee while taking the view to China. Head to Road 70 before turning to Bac Ha on Road 153. Long touted as the weekend alternative to Sapa, this small highland town doesn’t have the same dramatic location as its more illustrious neighbour, but it is calmer when Saturday comes. It fills up to choking point on Sunday morning, when visitors flood in to meet the Flower H’mong at the Bac Ha morning market. Compared with Sapa, tourism is still in its infancy here and during the week the town has a deserted feel. Bac Ha is a good base to explore the surrounding highlands.

Around 900m above sea level, it is noticeably warmer than Sapa.

One of Bac Ha’s main industries is she manufacture of alcoholic home brews (rice wine, cassava wine and corn liquor). The corn hooch produced by the Flower H’mong is so potent it will ignite! Bac Ha is the only place in Vietnam where you’ll find this particular moonshine; there’s an entire area devoted to it at the Sunday market.

Overnight in Bac Ha.

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Summary: • • • •

Distance: 120km Meals: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner Offroad Ratio: 60% Accommodation: Home-stay

Day 6: Bac Ha to Ha Giang City After breakfast, we ride on the track to Xin Man and Hoang Su Phi on many small; back roads with scenic mountain views. Xin Man is right on the border between Vietnam and China. It is well hidden and completely surrounded by wild mountains and forests.

There’s a single road from Xin Man to Hoang Su Phi. Hoang Su Phi is among the most untouched area of Ha Giang Province of Vietnam. The area was separated from the mainstream society until very recently.

Passing Hoang Su Phi, we will be charmed by the pristine beauty of the wild mountains and the authentic culture of the local ethnic groups which include: the Nung, the Flower H’mong, the Tay and the Ha Nhi People. After lunch, join the main road heading up to Ha Giang City, where we stop for the night and apply for a permit to ride the border.

Summary: • • • •

Distance: 200km Meals: Breakfast, Lunch Offroad Ratio: 60% Accommodation: Hotel

Day 7: Ha Giang to Dong Van (Ha Giang) After getting the permit for riding in border areas at Ha Giang’s Immigration Police, we ride on small, challenging but incredibly beautiful mountain roads through the land of colorful mountain hill-tribes.

Then we go up the Ma Pi Leng Pass.

Here is yet another amazing place, with cloudy mountain ranges and the poetic Nho Que river winding off in the distance.

It is really difficult to find the exact words to describe Ma Pi Leng Pass,

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located between Dong Van and Meo Vac, near the northernmost tip of Vietnam, as a painting of astonishing beauty and magnificence that captures the eyes of all viewers and nature lovers.

Ride on a zig-zag track until we reach Vuong Family’s Residence, 14km before Dong Van. Vuong Family were considered the royalty of the Hmong People in Dong Van, Ha Giang. Their residence was built in the scenic valley of Sa Phin with Chinese architecture. The whole house was built only out of wood and rock.

The rocks for the buildings were imported from China. Vuong Family Residence is a masterpiece of manmade work in the valley of heavenly beauty of Sa Phin.

This is a remote area and we can meet the hard-working local people here. It is inspiring to see how they survive as they manage to make a living among the rocks. When we reach Dong Van Town we will have some extra time to wander the ancient streets lined with H’mong homes of clay bricks and tiled roofs built centuries ago.

Summary: • • • •

Distance: 160km Meals: Breakfast, Lunch Offroad Ratio: 40% Accommodation: Hotel

Day 8: Dong Van to Bao Lac The morning ride is still winding along the Rock Plateau, after breakfast, enjoying some beautiful mountain passes until Meo Vac where we stop for lunch. In the afternoon, we will ride down along the river and see the different mountain view (less rocky and more green). Arrive in Bao Lac town at 5pm.

Summary: • • • •

Distance: 120km Meals: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner Offroad Ratio: 60% Accommodation: Hotel

Day 9: Bao Lac to Ba Be Lake To save time for the boat trip in Ba Be lake, we should start the day early so after breakfast, we start riding at around 8am. Today is the best off-road route.

After 20km from Bao Lac we turn to narrow and bumpy road with breathtaking view of terrace rice paddies. We cross a few rivers riding on bamboo bridges. Finish the memorable riding day with lunch in a peaceful village of the Tay people nearby Ba be lake. It’s time for relaxing on one of the most beautiful and biggest natural lake in Vietnam in the afternoon.

Summary: • • • •

Distance: 150km Meals: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner Offroad Ratio: 40% Accommodation: Homestay

Day 10: Ba Be Lake to Hanoi Staying off the main road for as long as possible we head back towards the Red River Delta, passing through areas inhabited by Hmong, Dao, Tay and Nung minority peoples. There’s a mixture of both challenging track and glorious sealed road all the way back to Hanoi. Our great Vietnam motorbike tour to Ha Giang will end safely in Hanoi before the rush hour.

Summary: • • • •

Distance: 240km Meals: Breakfast, Lunch Offroad Ratio: 20% Accommodation: Hotel in Hanoi

Departure day – 15 March: Hanoi - Departure After having breakfast at our hotel, you’ll be at leisure until it’s time to transfer to the airport for a departure flight home.

Is that a trip or is that a trip? And it should be pretty funny watching the reaction of the locals to Stuart, who will be admired as a virtual giant among them. D

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laUNCH

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Nice and light – what’s not to like?

BMW G 310 R

WORDS STUART PHOTOS DEAN WALTERS

B

MW HAS JOINED the small capacity market with another single cylinder treat called the G 310 R – a naked roadie with family resemblance to the R 1200 R and even more so the S 1000 R. Since the end of the LAMS approved 650 range a couple of years ago, BMW hasn’t had a LAMS motorcycle available, but planning and designing was already far advanced for BMW to hit back in the capacity that is providing top sellers for a number of manufacturers – namely the 300cc segment.

With the likes of the Kawasaki Ninja and Z300, Yamaha R3 and MT03, and the KTM 390 Duke and RC390, BMW has a lot of competition. While the G 310 R doesn’t really have the amount of power that some of the competition brings to the table, it isn’t aimed at the boy racer, rather it is a motorcycle that is extremely easy to ride.

BMW looked at simple things like the switch blocks and how easy they are to reach/use, along with the

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relaxed seating position for what is a stress-free ride. The G 310 R is small (and lightweight) at 158.5 kg but even big units like myself are comfortable enough riding it.

The centrepiece of the G 310 R is a newly developed 313cc liquid-cooled single-cylinder engine with four valves and two overhead camshafts together with electronic fuel injection.

Designed for the world market and therefore offering compatibility with various fuel qualities, the compression ratio is a comparatively modest 10.6:1.

With an output of 25kW at 9500rpm and maximum torque of 28Nm at 7500rpm, the engine is surprisingly torquey; enough so that you can ride it in a higher gear and there’s no need to wring its neck like a lot of the smaller capacity bikes.

Unlike conventional single-cylinder engines, this BMW offers some unusual technical solutions. First and foremost, the engine is tilted backwards. The cylinder and cylinder head have been turned by 180 degrees.

The intake tract is positioned at the front while the exhaust is at the rear.

This configuration not only follows the logic of a straight supply of fresh fuel-air mixture for better fuel efficiency, it also has positive consequences for the architecture of the bike as a whole. In conjunction with the consecutively positioned transmission shafts, it creates a low centre of gravity that is shifted towards the front wheel as compared to a conventional arrangement. This set-up and the preservation of a favourably short wheelbase allows for a longer swinging arm, thereby giving a stable ride. The result is agile handling, clear feedback from the front wheel and excellent control.

You can also put the strong frame into that mix. A torsionally stiff, highly robust tubular steel frame in grid structure gives good stiffness balance. I was expecting the frame to have quite a bit of flex, but even riding on a go-kart track with many fast changes of direction the G 310 R was only let down by the lack of grippy tyres. The launch was held around Airlie Beach in Queensland;

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LAUNCH

SPECS BMW G 310 R PRICE: $5790 (plus on-road charges) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 12,000km or 12 months ENGINE: Liquid-cooled single cylinder, 4-stroke, DOHC, 4 valves per cylinder BORE x STROKE: 80 x 62.1mm DISPLACEMENT: 313cc COMPRESSION: 10.6:1 POWER: 25kW @ 9500rpm TORQUE: 28Nm @ 7500rpm TRANSMISSION: 6-speed, wet multi-plate clutch, chain final drive SUSPENSION: Front, 41mm telescopic fork, non-adjustable, travel 140mm.

Rear, monoshock, adjustable preload, travel 131mm.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 785mm, weight 158.5kg (wet), fuel capacity

the track was the one you drive past on your way to and from the airport.

I did have full preload wound into the shock, which improved turn in for my weight. I can only guess what the result would have been had the frame been a ‘flexa’ and not a precise and stable one.

Build quality appears to be as expected from the BMW brand. You have safety with ABS braking (as per the rest of the range), inverted forks, radial mounted front caliper. The finish on the engine, frame, switches, dash and the like has a quality feel and look. There are even braided brake lines which you probably won’t find

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on many other bikes in this category.

Besides the road, the one thing you’ll be looking at the most is the dash. The LCD is large and well integrated into the front cowling. It has all the info you could want, including a gear indicator which is excellent for new riders.

As with all BMWs there is a large range of accessories to individualise your ride. High and low seats, luggage and LED indicators are just some of what you can get.

If you want an easy, fun and genuinely enjoyable bike that can do all sorts of duties with that German roundel on the tank, the BMW G 310 R will make your life a ride. D

11 litres, wheelbase 1374mm TYRES: Front, 110/70/R17.

Rear, 150/60/R17 FRAME: Tubular steel BRAKES: Front, 300mm disc with radial mount four-piston ABS caliper. Rear, 240mm disc, dual-piston ABS caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: N/A THEORETICAL RANGE: N/A COLOURS: Strato Blue Metallic, Cosmic Black, Pearl White Metallic VERDICT: FUN FOR ALL

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13 years

2018 DATES BOOK YOUR NEXT

ADVENTURE

Ride roads less travelled adriaticmototours.com SMT_A4_AUSMotoMag_FINAL_OK.indd 8 AMM_56.indd 47

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TYRETEST

CONTINENTAL ROAD ATTACK

Attack touring, head on WORDS/PHOTOS STUART

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Y WAY OF AUSTRALIAN agent Ron Angel Wholesale, Continental has released its latest and greatest sport touring tyre – the Road Attack 3. The bar has been set high with the likes of the recent Metzeler Roadtec 01, so I was keen to give the RA 3 a go on a familiar bike and in familiar road conditions. The

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set of Bridgestone T30 Evo tyres that were taken off our test mule had done a very satisfying 13,000km and after an initial 1000km on the new Road Attack 3s I expect their life to be similar, if not a bit longer thanks to quite deep tread. Conti claims a 10% increase over the outgoing Road Attack 2.

The base for the RA 3 was the

3

successful Road Attack 2 but the new RA 3 is quite a big leap forward with an aggressively styled tread pattern which appears to have been taken, at least mostly, from the Sport Attack 3 released not so many months ago.

I especially like the “Traction Skin” which despite looking fresh and modern, has a micro-rough tread

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surface. The result of this is to virtually eliminate the need to scrub in the tyre which is an unquestionable bonus. And it works. I was told by our contact at Ron Angel that I could essentially fang from the word go, and I found that I could do exactly that when I tested the Sport Attack 3. I said that if I binned it, he was up for a new bike, but there was no need for that as the RA 3s gripped from the first roll of the tyre out of the driveway – excellent. This also means there is no need to warm them up, another bonus.

Another major area of improvement is the 15% increase in wet weather grip that Conti claims. I dare say the wet weather performance is very close to that of the Roadtec 01 which if you remember I raved about.

The only way to really tell would be a direct, on the day comparison – it is that close. You can brake quite hard without the front tyre walking around and the grip on offer lets you ride at a very decent pace, and probably much more swiftly than you think.

Dry weather performance is outstanding. With the use of Continental’s “Multigrip” technology, the tyres are able to reproduce the qualities of a dual compound tyre within a single compound, just by varying the temperature between shoulder and centre during the curing process. This results in a harder centre for longer life and a softer shoulder for maximum grip. The softer sides feel exactly like a grippy sports tyre which is perfect when you’re getting into some fun twisties and I reckon you’d be lucky to notice any difference in grip in the middle of the tyre.

The new Continental Road Attack 3 is a big step forward and positions the tyre as one of the best new sport touring tyres on the market. A wide range of sizes is available and pricing is on par with the rest of the category with fronts from $229 and rears from $299. All I can say is grab a set and that smile you’ll see in the mirror is down to the fun you’ll have with them. See your local Conti dealer or visit www.ronangel.com.au D

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AUNCH TL E A R O U T M A P #5 6

THE COOL SOUTH South Island New Zealand 2

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OO HOO! I WISH I could write about a subject that I love as much as this one, every month! But there is very little chance that there could be any other places as exciting as the south of New Zealand’s South Island. Not only have I loved the place from the first time I was almost there on a CB550 borrowed from Blue Wing Honda.

Almost there? Well, the weather was so bad that they cancelled the ferries between the islands and I was stuck in Wellington… but I was busy imagining how good it would have been if I’d been able to get across!

Anyway, often familiarity breeds contempt but in the case of the South Island, every trip has shown me more wonderful roads and destinations.

And I’ve been there a few times by now. When I was over there with our tour recently I sampled the Glenorchy road out of Queenstown for the first time; I have no idea how it could have escaped me for so long.

I’ve said before that you could do the job of recommending South Island roads very simple by just colouring them all in and just recommending that you ride wherever you feel like; but there are roads that are even better than others, and I’ve pulled together seven of them for you with this map.

If you miss even one you will kick yourself forever, I promise you. Here are the notable (or semi-notable) towns or settlements along the way, in alphabetical order.

AKAROA

Set picturesquely on the edge of an old volcanic crater now filled by the sea, Akaroa is the French part of New Zealand with cafés and restaurants themed accordingly. It’s an extremely popular Saturday and Sunday destination for Christchurchers on both two wheels and four, so try to visit during the week. It’s hokey but nice, especially sitting by the water.

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WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR

ARTHUR’S PASS

The small village at the top of New Zealand’s most famous pass offers a couple of cafés and fuel, but not much else. It’s still a pleasant place to stop for a coffee (actually, in Unzud the tea tends to be a better choice) and to prepare yourself for the almost inevitable complete change in the weather you will encounter just west of town.

FOX GLACIER

This is the smaller and somewhat less commercial glacier village, but it still has a good selection of cafés and a couple (last time I was there) of recommendable motels. You can ride pretty close to the glacier, especially on the southern side of the stream.

FRANZ JOSEF GLACIER

Save your Confederate money, boys, the South will rise again! All right, enough of that but this is the place to splurge on a helicopter ride over the glacier. Apart from that there’s a good choice of motels and eateries, but it’s all a bit more commercial and hectic than Fox. Personal preference, I know.

GLENORCHY

What Akaroa is to Christchurch, Glenorchy is to Queenstown – a Sunday drive destination. For motorcyclists it’s an every day ride and twice on Sundays; this is a terrific road with few side roads or driveways to get in the way of a wonderful lakeside ride. I’d be out there every chance I got if I lived locally, trying to perfect every corner. Just thinking about it is making my throttle hand itchy. Do not miss this. All the usual services are available in Glenorchy, although it isn’t a particularly outstanding place in any way. Nice, though.

HAAST

It’s a long way to the pass of the same name, and indeed it’s a long way to

anywhere from the coastal village of Haast. These days it has a very comfortable pub with the heads of lots of deer on the walls and decent tucker. You can also get fuel, which might be welcome because there isn’t any for quite a way in either direction. A long one-way bridge with several passing bays takes you north from here, while the pass road starts alongside the Haast River to the east.

There is a road going south, but I’ve never taken it because I was told there were man-eating keas down there.

HOKITIKA

A town with a sense of humour (witness its driftwood sign), Hokitika is also the centre of the greenstone jewelry trade. I’ve never been particularly taken by the combination of greenstone and gold settings, but once again that’s just me and they certainly sell a lot of it. The town is quite a reasonable size and has several restaurants as well as petrol and other supplies.

MILFORD SOUND

There’s nowhere to stay at what amounts to a base for the Milford Sound boats, but that’s no reason not to visit. The road from Te Anau, which is the only road there is worth riding. Be careful in the Homer Tunnel and watch out for seasonal and unseasonal snow dumps. There’s no fuel, so top up in Te Anau.

MT COOK VILLAGE

There are at least two reasons to include the road along Lake Pukaki in your itinerary; firstly the road itself is a beauty as it hops across the many ridges running down to the lake, and secondly for the staggering view of Mt Cook that you get from the village.

There are a couple of different places to stay, as well as a campground; food is okay at the chalet and nighttime walks will reward you not only with

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THE COOL SOUTH

ORANGE ROUTE

CHRISTCHRCH TO HOKITIKA VIA ARTHUR’S PASS After riding across the flat Canterbury Plains you reach the foothills of the Southern Alps and all the fun of the fair. The road surface is good, although they’ve taken some of the fun out of the run just past the village of Arthur’s Pass by re-directing the road.

Be prepared for a weather change at the top of the range, but otherwise just have fun.

BLUE ROUTE

HOKITIKA TO WANAKA VIA HAAST PASS A long road by New Zealand standards this takes you along the coast and then across the range on a pretty mild pass road. Don’t expect too much coastal scenery; the road runs mainly inland but if the weather’s good you’ll get a look at Mt Cook. Beware the one-lane bridges, especially the one that even has train tracks running over it.

GREEN ROUTE

WANAKA TO QUEENSTOWN VIA CARDRONA (CROWN RANGE RD) Many Kiwis will tell you that this is the best motorcycle road in New Zealand, and therefore (they imply not at all indirectly) the world. They are wrong, if for no other reason than that the nearby Glenorchy road is better. The pub in Cardrona is well worth a stop with rustic surroundings and good food. Contrary to what I was originally told it seems that it is not a fake!

YELLOW ROUTE

QUEENSTOWN TO GLENORCHY AND BACK Just magic, this lakeside ride has everything you want and almost nothing you don’t.

Almost? Well, one of my friends nearly inserted himself into the rear end of a horse that jumped out into the road in front of him…

PURPLE ROUTE

TE ANAU TO MILFORD SOUND AND BACK Much of the road runs through primeval forest, its eerie silence only broken by asthmatic coaches taking pensioners down to the boats at Milford Sound, or back if they’ve survived. Take note of the lack of fuel on its 240km.

PINK ROUTE

MT COOK ROAD A sweet ride indeed up along Lake Pukaki to one of the most outstanding sights of New Zealand or almost anywhere else. You can see a long way, so even if the Unzud police force has set one of its few Highway Patrol vehicles free, you will see it in plenty of time.

Not that you’d be breaking the law anyway.

RED ROUTE

CHRISTCHURCH TO AKAROA AND BACK A nice, gentle ride which offers a couple of routes, making it a there-and-back ride from Christchurch with an opportunity to sample some hill riding and a chance to try out your version of Unzud’s ubiquitous cornering speed warnings. If you’re in a Morris Minor you’d best pay attention!

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wonderful view of the stars but also the brooding presence of the mountain.

TE ANAU

A nice small town on the lake of the same name which offers seaplane rides, Te Anau is the base for rides to Milford Sound. Sadly it is also the base for bus rides to Milford Sound, so get away in the morning before the buses start their runs. It’s easy enough to get past one bus, I know, even on the twisting road across the Southern Alps, but passing twenty buses is another matter entirely…

TWIZEL

Um, well, yes, there you go. Before I sampled the many pleasures of

THE BEST

IN BRISBANE

this small but wonderfullynamed town on Highway 8 I was fascinated by that name. As it turns out, Twizel is a nice enough but not especially noteworthy settlement that no doubt suits its inhabitants very well.

QUEENSTOWN

The queen city of the south is facing horrendous real estate prices because so many Australians come over on the direct flights from the West Island and buy up every house and flat that they can. Damn them! Err, us… Queenstown is the tourist town par excellence with all that implies by way of prices but also availability of entertainment, food

and accommodation. You can go jetboating, fly through the air on a wire and drink in the Irish pub down by the lake. Ah well, one out of three ain’t bad.

WANAKA

A bit like Queenstown Lite, Wanaka offers a museum with planes and motorcycles at the airport, and the biennial Warbirds Over Wanaka festivities. It is also on a lake, which is almost obligatory for South Island towns, and makes a more affordable stop than Q’town. There’s an entertainment centre called Puzzling World just outside town where the clever Kiwis have managed to harness the force of gravity! True!

I’ve seen it! D

The Pitstop Café, situated on the Mount Mee tourist drive, receives tourists, day travellers, bikers, clubs and locals alike. The Pitstop has perfect views with great coffee and excellent food.

2070a Mount Mee Road, Ocean View, Mt Pleasant, QLD 4521 07 34253652 Open Fri, Sat, Sun

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P L A N Y O U R T O U R I N G Special Feature

A BRIEF GUIDE PLAN YOUR TOURING

Motorcycle travel tips from a bloke who’s made just about every mistake there is WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR

Y

ES, IF THERE IS a cockup that you can make out on the road or during the planning process, I suspect I’ve made it. But then I have had half a century and better than half a million kilometres of experience. And while a lot of that was in Australia, a lot was also in all sorts of other countries scattered around the globe. I can’t match my friend David McGonigal’s record – he’s ridden on seven continents – but I can claim six.

So trust me, and make the most of this little guide I’ve compiled for you.

And if you’ve discovered and are happy to suggest any other rules for the long (or short, for that matter) road, drop me a line!

HAVE A PLAN

Load ‘er up and let ‘er rip. That’s pretty much the usual approach for Australian motorcyclists when they’re off on a spot of travel. And it’s not a bad approach, unless you get out there and suddenly find that you’ve forgotten to check something vital, like whether your bike

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is going to need a service while you’re on the road, or whether you’ve got your paperwork with you or – this is a popular one – where you’re going to get that replacement tyre that you need – now.

No matter how much motorcycle travelling you’ve done, it’s still best to do a bit of planning before you hit the road. One basic consideration is fuel – will you have enough, or will you be able to get it? Presumably you have an idea what the range of your bike is, so factor that in with the HEMA Motorcycle Atlas (after all, I wrote it), which shows remote fuel stops among other things, and your tank will never empty.

That’s just a few things to take into consideration; there are some more below. Have a quick look, because some of these things can mean the difference between fun and a f….. er, less fun.

And remember that planning is best done together with anyone else who is coming along on the ride. That way everyone’s preferences are considered, and – more importantly from your point of view – any stuff-ups are everyone’s

fault, not just yours. Make some notes – where you expect to spend the nights, any sightseeing you want to do – and distribute to all other participants, along with a list of everyone’s phone numbers.

WHERE TO?

Is there anywhere on God’s green Earth that is not attractive to one rider or another? I doubt it. Stuart has just come back from a trip to Cape York, a torture trail if ever there was one, and I have returned from Iceland, a wonderful destination that happens to lie at the end of a 34 hour plane ride.

Which brings us to one inevitable question: what are my favourite destinations?

Please don’t hold me to these.

Favourite anythings are subject to change according to mood, state of inebrioatinio… inobpr… inast… drunkenness and even the weather. It’s like asking me what my favourite song is. Today it might be ‘Sunday Morning Comin’ Down’, tomorrow it could be ‘Corrina Corrina’. It just depends.

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your own bike. If you don’t want to ride all the way, there are several companies that will ship it – or rather truck it – for you. For New Zealand, send your bike over with Get Routed or rent one over there. Get Routed and some other shipping companies will also send your bike to other continents; that’s useful if you’re going for a while. Short trips, it’s renting again.

You can’t rent a bike everywhere, though, and though it can be difficult to take your own it may still be the best choice. While you can rent a bike in Iceland, for instance, it will set you back $500 a day plus insurance. That’s a bit too rich for - almost - anyone. Definitely for me. If you still want to explore these places on a bike then it makes sense to consider an organised tour. I took an Edelweiss Bike Travel tour in Iceland, and it was cheaper than renting – inclusive of accommodation and some meals and a lot of fun.

Don’t mind the weather too much. It will change, sooner or later. Well, you hope.

But here we go. In Australia, the Atherton Tableland in Far North Queensland. Nearby, the north end of the South Island in Unzud. Further afield, the Karoo in South Africa, any part of the western United States or the Apennines in Italy. Oh, and Croatia, especially the coast. The Mediterranean Alps in France. Iceland, now I’ve finally been there. I could go on, and I do, don’t I? The message you should take from this, though, is that any place that sounds or looks interesting or takes you to somewhere that is, is fair game. I mean, I’ve even ridden across the Nullarbor.

HOW?

WHEN?

How? What do you mean, how?

On a bloody motorcycle. No, I do understand. Let’s see: in Australia, on

I might be a bit dismissive of overplanning, but it does make sense to

Choose your adventure.

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PlaN YOUr tOUrING

check out the prevailing weather. Some places just have rain for two or three months, and they are probably better visited in the remaining nine or ten.

Don’t exclude monsoon time, by the way. It very rarely rains all day and the air is always fresh and clean, something you cannot say about some monsoonal countries for the rest of the year.

Of course there are no guarantees. I was stuck in Wellington once, the Unzud one, on a ten day trip that was meant to take in both islands. The weather was so foul that the ferries weren’t running.

After three days of waiting I turned around and enjoyed another look at the North Island. I discovered that, in those days anyway, the government tarred the road past your property if you voted for them.

Being cold or hot is not a big deal as long as you’re prepared. I am the proud owner of a Klim Kodiak suit, and it has dealt with heat and cold with equal aplomb (see my review). If you don’t have a versatile suit, just make sure you take some layers for the cold and a good, light wet weather suit. The latter will double as a top layer in the cold, keeping the wind out.

WITH WHOM?

Going for a ride with someone is a guaranteed way to check whether you’re compatible. If you don’t know your

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companions really well – and even then – see if you can set up a way of saying bye-bye to them during the trip. That can be hard if you’ve split up the necessities between yourselves, and the person you don’t get on with has all of the tools or the tyre repair kit on his or her bike, so think ahead.

I’m serious about the occasional necessity to split up, though.

Travelling with people who give you the pips (or, to be fair, whom you give the pips) is the perfect way to spoil a trip. That will hardly be a problem on a weekend jaunt, but if you’re headed around Australia or the world it could be a major issue.

ON WHAT?

Yes, you can tour on anything and everything. Or maybe not. Engine size is not a big deal unless you’re expecting to do big miles every day or you’re going to sit on the motorway, but fuel tank size can be critical. Like, I am not about to travel anywhere on my H-D Sportster; not because it’s uncomfortable (it isn’t) or because it can’t carry luggage (it can) but because the fuel tank holds so little petrol.

While you can saddle up most bikes for a trip, it does make sense to look at some of the practicalities.

Shaft drive or a belt are less hassle

Do use a map. Vague ideas like “we’ll just head west” can go spectacularly wrong.

than a chain; a bike that comes with provision for luggage is easier to load and unload (which you will probably be doing every day) than one which requires elaborate packing. Not that elaborate packing is necessary any more – see below.

MAKE IT EASY

I come from the Army surplus ammunition bag and duffle bag times, so all I can do is regard with awe the advances that have been made in motorcycle luggage. Quite apart from the various soft and hard bags with ingenious fittings, several manufacturers now have U-shaped bags which you can sling over the passenger seat of even the most dedicated sports bike. Best of all, they’ll fit just about every bike on the market. That means you’ll only have to buy your luggage once even if you change bikes.

BUT…

Plan by all means, for all of the reasons mentioned above. But don’t over-plan. The goddess who governs travel is Lady Luck with her attendant

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PLAN YOUR TOURING

1 Serendipity. Opportunities will pop up on the shortest, least ambitious trip never mind an overseas adventure, and your job is to grab them and make the most of them.

Good planning will give you a useful base from which to pursue

them. And even if opportunity fails to knock, you’ll feel more relaxed if you don’t absolutely have to make that particular ferry connection or whatever.

Be cool and always remember: fortune favours the brave. D

2 1. Have some idea of the local language.

This sign does not show the way to cheese cappuccinos.

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PUBOFTHEMONTH

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! A pigeon pair is waiting for you

RATED 5 OUT OF 5 HELMETS

Royal Hotel

25 Renshaw St, Binnaway NSW T: 02 6844 1603

WORDS/PHOTOS COLIN WHELAN

D

URING THIS SERIES we’ve pretty much concentrated on good pubs with good accommodation but there are some wonderful pubs in the bush which despite not offering sleepovers are so bloody good that they deserve a visit from you. Yes! You! This month we’ve got a brace of beauties: two pubs, both Royals, and both run by young couples with the sense of custody of a living organism which a pub is, the vision to see just how good a small town pub can be, and the energy and skills to bring it off big time.

THE ROYAL HOTEL, BINNAWAY, NSW

When a publican recommends another pub to me, I listen. When three people in a row tell me I simply must drop

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into a certain place, there’s no chance I’m going to miss it.

Mark at Yeoval had told me to make sure I visited, and then Theo at Mendooran had underlined that I must not head straight up to Coonabarabran but to detour to the Royal at Binnaway.

After leaving Mendooran I dropped in at the stud farm of John and Julie, part owners of Protectionist, winner of the Melbourne Cup in 2014 and they too tell me I just have to catch up with Sean and Kylie at the Binnaway Royal.

So I head north out from their place and take the eastern turn for some very sweet riding into this town.

The mid-morning sun is high and out of my eyes.

As I pull up at the Royal, a cool dude is just heading out on a bicycle, a couple of coffees balanced in one hand. Before I get the riding gear

off, he’s back and he’s Sean.

I tell him why I’m in town and we pull up a pew outside, he rolls a durrie, I order some caffeine and pull out the camera and recorder.

Pretty soon Kylie, Sean’s wife, in full chef ’s gear joins us. It’s the quiet prelunch time and both have time to tell of their passion and that passion is this pub.

They’re from Dubbo and in April 2016, with a background in cafes and catering, they bought the Royal Hotel at Binnaway. They weren’t fazed that it’d been closed for the last six months or that its trading graph before that was a straight line pointed to the south east.

They had other plans, other dreams.

It took them two months to clean the place enough to warrant hanging the “Re-opening Soon” sign out front and in June they opened the doors.

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RATED 5 OUT OF 5 HELMETS

Royal Hotel

McIntyre St, Leyburn Qld T: 07 46950129

Suggestions They’d knocked a hole in the wall to serve takeaways, installed a gift shop in one of the back rooms, landscaped the back area and turned it into a family backyard with more than enough stuff to keep kids of every age occupied.

The renos are Kylie’s favourite part. She beams, “I love being a transformational renovationist”.

Deliberately they eschewed gambling and gaming. “Places like this are really important because they are a meeting place for people. Where farmers can come in and catch up each week, where everyone can relax, enjoy and feel safe.”

“From the start we were embraced by the community” says Sean and that simple sentence is terribly revealing.

Not ‘the town’, not ‘the people’, not ‘the locals’ but ‘the community’.

I ask them what their dreams are

for this place and Sean points to two empty shops across the road.

“We want to attract enough people from out of town that these shops will open, maybe a café, maybe something else to get money into our community.”

A woman comes by from the school down the road and orders half a dozen various coffees for the teachers. Kylie heads to the kitchen and Sean suggests I take a tour while he morphs into barista mode.

On one wall there’s a vinyl wallpaper world map and underneath’s an inscription, “You haven’t really been away, unless you’ve been to Binnaway”. Kylie’s expert hand has added Binnaway in a font size identical to that of Sydney and other such minor places.

And then there’s the front bar. It’s without beer taps and may be for a

Both of these places come with a 5 helmet rating on my newly designed scale for pubs without accommodation and each comes with a ‘Serving Suggestion’.

Binnaway: Spend the day bending it over from Coolah to Premer and then across to Coonabarabran then some play on the Warrumbungles Way before heading down to Binnaway for the best break you’ll ever have with Sean and Kylie before a night with Theo and Susy at the Mendooran Pub. Leyburn: Check out the plaque commemorating the Warwick Egg Incident at that town’s old train station then cruise north to Clifton, across the Leyburn for lunch with Shane and Samantha before heading south on the Darling Downs (before they mine it) down to Oman Ama before the backroads down to the Stockman at Texas for the night.

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P UB OF THE MONTH

while. There’s a fridge with stubbies and wine but for now the room is empty ‘cept for the ghost, the shadow of a giant.

In 1977 Peter Finch played his greatest role as Howard Beale in Network opposite Faye Dunaway. This was the ‘Mad as Hell’ movie and it won Finch, who died in January ’77 the first ever posthumous Best Actor Oscar.

But twenty one years before this, Finch’s star had begun its ascendency when he starred in the Australian film, “A Town Like Alice” which won him a BAFTA and he soon followed this up with “The Shiralee”. This was a story of a battler, his swag and his child, and it was shot in Binnaway.

A central scene involves Finch’s character, Jim Macauley finishing a drink in the front bar, walking out the corner door and getting into one hell of a stink. I’m checking out the bar, imagining the scene when Sean joins me and poses right where Peter Finch stood polishing off his beer.

“Pretty amazing eh?”

It sure is. The bar is pretty much unchanged and the leadlight windows are what you see in the flick. Time here has almost stood still in some sort of wonderful inertia.

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Sean’s keen to show me around: to show me what they’ve already done, and what their plans are. It’s underpinned with an appreciation of the past, and understanding of the present and an awareness of the connection.

The Royal at Binnaway is closed on Mondays and Tuesdays and always will be. Sean and Kylie are here for the long haul and don’t want to be burning out.

Most Monday nights you’ll find Sean at the other pub, not scouting customers, not beating his drum, “just hanging with friends. The people who run it are top people and there’s room for us all.”

There’s no accommodation and nothing’s planned but the restaurant is

the drawcard - that and the complete ambience of friendliness, community and just hope and exuberance. This is an absolute must-stop for any rider on the A39 between Moree and Dubbo.

ROYAL HOTEL, LEYBURN, QLD.

In 1997, three quarters through a lap around Australia, it dawned on Shane and Samantha that they’d like to run a pub.

It was midway through the Qld leg of their loop, when it gelled that they were really enjoying the pubs, and they’d begun to look at them differently.

“We’d go into a place and start thinking, what are they doing right, what could be improved. We both realised at about the same time, that this was something we’d like to have a shot at.”

So they starting looking at pubs from Tully on south and then heard that the Leyburn Royal, owned by Shane Webcke, the ex-rugby league star and now television identity, was ‘quietly’ on the market so they made contact.

It was just what they wanted.

“He’d had it for 15 years and was a bit over it. For us it was perfect - a great pub in a great community, and I might be a builder but I wasn’t looking for a place that needed rennos. Shane had done a great job and this place simply can’t be improved. Maybe make some outside fences a bit more rustic but apart from that, we all love it.”

The racket from a busload of tourists in the front bar proves too much so we head out into the sunshine to talk about the story of the pub.

Shane and Sam ended up buying the place in 2014 and they know their stuff, know the story of the pub and they know the town they’ve joined.

The Leyburn Royal’s the oldest continually licensed hotel in Queensland operating in its original building.

Shane’s a qualified builder and he explains which parts of the building, especially the trusses are all original

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P UB OF THE MONTH

and points out the almost invisible expansion joints marking the line where renovations started.

It’s obvious that these two, in charge of their first pub, are carrying on a tradition of caring, mindful owners.

They know the complete history of the place, from the original builders on. When Shane tells me to check out another of the builder’s old pubs, the old Felton Inn and directs me in terms of a river: “Just cross the Condamine and it’s on the right”, I know he’s someone who’s spent meaningful time in the bush.

Midway through the chat, we’re engulfed by the party-goers from out back. They’re celebrating the golden wedding anniversary of a local couple and the pair is about to make the grand entrance.

“Apparently,” says Sam, “they’re each driving their own vehicle. Grab your camera, it could make a good photo.”

We leave our drinks and keys, our phones and our wallets on the table and head out onto the main street. Right on cue Rex and Loma come spinning around the corner on their electric mobility scooters. They do some figure eights in front of the crowd, (later insisting they were ‘wheelies’), pause for

a groupie and head in for the fun.

Shane stands back and smiles.

“It’s fantastic to see people having fun at your pub.”

Then Shane spills one of the real secrets of a good country pub.

“When we were travelling and started looking at pubs, one of the things we found that were common to all the good ones was that they were family owned. And most of them employed locals. All our staff are from Leyburn, even those in the kitchen. It cements your place in the town to have people who’ve been born here serving other people who’ve live here all their lives.

Because the regulars, the locals are your lifeblood. The buses and the visitors from out of town are fantastic but it’s the regulars who keep you going and who help give the place its character.”

To which I can only say, ‘Amen’.

There’s about 500 people in Leyburn but the greatest number to ever’ve been in the town was September 1949 when over 30,000

jammed in for the 14th Australian Grand Prix. It was held just out of town on a WW2 airstrip and proved to be a one-off. Leyburn’s place on the motor racing calendar was short lived.

Then in 1996 a local motor sport nut, Mike Collins saw the 50 year anniversary of the race coming up, contacted the Historic Racing Car Club and things got rolling. The airstrip was no longer viable so the concept of the Leyburn Sprints was hatched and the race went gangbusters in 1999.

It’s grown ever since and last year’s crowd of over 12,000 provided the pub with a month’s turnover in four days. It’s a good weekend!

It’s an event unique in Australia – a time-trial with just one car on the track at a time. And somehow it’s totally apposite that two people, who gained the inspiration to buy a pub whilst doing a leisurely lap around their home country, are now co-hosts of a unique race, a frenetic lap around their home town. D

IF YOU LOVE MY Pub of the Month yarns, why not buy my new book with loads more than what the guys at Motorcyclist have published for me.

To buy a copy just go to Facebook and search for ‘Nothing but the Pub’ and then just hit the ‘shop now’ button or visit https://nothing-but-the-pub.myshopify.com/

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WHERE’STHEBEAR

YES, WHERE IS THE FURRY LITTLE BUGGER? He gets around, does the Bear, but as usual he’s in Australia in this month’s mystery photo. Where, though? If you’ve been there you will probably recognize it straight away, but even if you haven’t there are a couple of clues in the pic! You still want a hint? All right; don’t take that ‘Australia’ too literally. Drop us a line at contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com. au or PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111 and you’ll go into the draw for this month’s great prize.

NO PROBLEM WITH NUMBER 6 We weren’t sure how obvious the location in issue number 54 was, but it turns out that a lot of you knew it.

Yes, it was Wa-De-Lock Cellar Door in Stratford,Victoria.The entry that came out of the hat first was from Tony Matthews, who wrote: “Hey guys.. Looks definitely like wa-de-lok in stratford. A good stop on the way to mallacoota for me.

“Currently shut for renos though when i last went through end of july.

“We have been stopping at cafe 3847 in rosedale instead on the way back instead.

That is also a nice little cafe.

“Keep up the good work with the mag.”

Maybe we should send tony (rats, now I’m doing it myself) a few capital letters instead of his real prize, the MotoPressor Tyre Gauge with its carefully selected twin chucks. But no, he’d probably prefer the amazingly versatile and useful gauge from Rocky Creek Designs, 02 6689 5703 or www.rockycreekdesigns.com.au

Protect your hearing As a motorcyclist, you know the dangers.

You wear protective clothing and a helmet.

The noise of the wind under the helmet, however, causes hearing damage. Did you know that after 15 minutes at 100 km/ hour your hearing is already permanently damaged? I said, did you… unfortunately it’s not funny. NoNoise MotorSport earplugs protect motorcyclists against this risk. The sound will be muted as if you turn down the

volume button, yet conversation, sirens and other warning signals remain clearly audible. If you don’t win this set, you can buy them from Rocky Creek on www.rockycreekdesigns.com.au .

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longtermers

OUR LOAN BIKES... continue to live long (We certainly hope!) and prosper Kawasaki Z650L Here it begins!

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he nuMBer oF amazing accessories we’ve already received for our Z650L has been overwhelming. I have also removed the pillion pegs/brackets to clean up the look of the bike. If you remember how exotic our MT07 long termer looked, the Z650L is going to be even more so! So let’s get the ball rolling…

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OGGY KNOBBS FENDER ELIMINATOR KIT PRICE - $169

The standard rear number plate fender looks a little obscene so I couldn’t wait to get the Oggy Knobbs fender eliminator kit. The kit comes with everything you need including an LED number plate light. Fitment took about half an hour – it is that simple. The kit uses the standard indicators and the only (very basic) wiring needed is for the number plate light. The transformation the eliminator kit has made to the Z650L is stunning – I think you’ll agree. Grab all of the Oggy Knobb gear from your local bike shop or our good friends at Kenma – www.kenma.com.au

OGGY KNOBB KIT PRICE - $349

Protect the one you love! And that’s exactly what we’ve done by fitting the Oggy Knobb kit which consists of Oggy Knobbs and front and rear Axle Oggys. Fitment is simple and with detailed instructions anyone can fit them! You know you’ve got high class components when fitting them is precise and an exact fit – this is what you get with Oggy Knobbs accessories.

I quite like the rear Axle Oggys as they tidy up the rather ugly rear axle nut. The Bear has just tested a full set

of Oggys on the Ducati Scrambler (by going down the road) and recommends them highly. Grab all of the Oggy Knobb gear from your local bike shop or our good friends at Kenma – www.kenma.com.au SW

ROYAL ENFIELD CLASSIC 350

CLASSIC AT BEING A CLASSIC Our delightful Classic 350 has been wowing people again this month.

We can’t get enough of riding it around the city and surrounds just to get people’s reactions to our “restoration”. Do we tell them that it’s a brand new bike? Well, we try but it really is a waste of time, better just to go along with our “restored” Royal Enfield and let people drool. Of course, those motorcyclists who really know what’s going on enjoy the original characteristics of the Classic 350 and a couple have enjoyed seeing one in the flesh as they have been considering a purchase for “light domestic duties”. So, all I can say is get to your local Royal Enfield dealer and test ride either the 350 or 500 and make up your mind from there – they really are a lot of fun to potter around on. SW D

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TIMELESS M ITALIAN THINGS

WORDS RALPH PHOTOS HALF LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHIC

MOTO GUZZI V7 III Special and Stone

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OTO GUZZI has been rocking and rolling along in its own authentic, traditional way for 96 years. The classic and equally unique transverse air-cooled V Twin breed has been in nonstop production for fifty years and the format is recognised by generations of riders. You could say change is something Guzzi resist. The bikes have been built in the same location, beside the impossibly beautiful eastern shores of Lake Como in northern Italy. The production line, although modern in terms of layout, has the look of an artisan’s workshop where they hand-build the latest products.

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I have to admit I thought the beginning of this review would be different. I was expecting to turn up on the Northern Beaches of Sydney to be riding the very updated third series of the V7 and reporting that Moto Guzzi has finally created a mid-sized bike that anyone could just jump on and ride without any adjustment or vaguely disconcerting thoughts racing through their mind like ‘gee this is different’. But no.

Moto Guzzi is still a long way from the point where there seems to be little difference in the riding

experience between it and the big four Japanese manufacturers.

The V7 looks a million dollars, certainly looks like a Guzzi with the protruding barrels, and starts like one. Press the button and feel that legendary kick as the flywheel spins and the fuel injection, which runs for simplicity’s sake through a single throttle body feeding the cylinders via a plastic, Y shaped and very long tube, goes about its non-fussed business. The whole shebang kicks to the right and the 750cc oversquare four valve twin settles into a

The limited edition ‘Anniversario’ model at $16,990 will only be available to a lucky 20 Guzzisti. www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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launch

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lumpy idle. This third series has 10 percent more power and a fair extra amount of refinement in the clutch, instrumentation and suspension.

But the first thing you notice is how impressive the build quality is.

Parent company Piaggio has

dragged this eccentric brand into this century with a massive injection of development funds. It shows. The finish is equal to or better than most and the paintwork on the Special is a big hit in depth and shine. The small details are only let down with a

couple of plastic covers which could have been alloy (that’s when you hit the accessories catalogue) and for me the thin handlebars.

The currently smallest of the Guzzi twins has the same reassuring thump when the slightly off-beat pistons

D Moto Motorcycle Engineering

Technical Skill - Personal Service Comprehensive or minor servicing Performance engine mods Cylinder head reconditioning Welding and machining service Fuel injection specialists Race and track bike preparation Tyre supply and fitting Ducati spares REXXER ecu tuning

Although our background is Ducati we will happily service any motorcycle brand!

Unit 4, 3-5 Harbord St, Clyde NSW 2142

02 8677 9120

www.dmoto.com.au

BUSINESS FOR SALE

Would you like to own a lifestyle business where you can enjoy your life and help others to be better riders on the road?

Skill Master has been established for 6 years and incorporates road tours, one on one and small group courses so training is always personalised and pertinent.

Business includes ute, 3 bike trailer and an FJR1300.

If you would like to enjoy your work, ride often and watch others improve and enjoy life more, please call

0414 974 815 or email paul@skillmaster.com.au

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LAUNCH

pulse their way through their cycle firing at 270 degrees. Guzzis are built for the road rather than the track although the Flying Falcon brand has won its share of championships in Isle of Man TTs and GPs as well as the Battle of the Twins championship. The power might only be 38kW, but it is accessible and the heathier 60Nm of torque is very useable. The gears shift smoothly and the separate gearbox housed in its own casing amplifies some whine from the straight cut gears to highlight how mechanically quiet the engine is.

I have always enjoyed the easy launch, and the banging mid-range as well as the cammy top end. Having owned a few Guzzis and ridden hundreds, I’m happy to say that while the new V7 may lack outright horsepower, the trade-off is satisfaction and engagement. If most of Mandello’s competition is shopping mall Muzak then Guzzis feel like the beat of reggae with all of its fun and colour.

Handling isn’t smoky Rastafarian; how could it be when the development riders only have to turn out of the factory gates and head up the twisty roads to Lario to ensure their products go round corners? Curvery needs to be taken smoothly, with little input, relying more on precision to extract the best. Step back a notch and the Special or Stone will happily just doodle along without a care in the world proving their versatility for commuting and touring.

The plain and cheaper Stone, dressed in matt colours and devoid of chrome as well as a tacho is the Peter Tosh of the set. The Special’s Bob Marley version is all colour and chrome and while they have a very similar beat the bikes are pitched to different markets. Moto Guzzi Australia’s Paul McCann says of the $12,990 Stone “should appeal to the younger set who appreciate the Garage Build potential while the $14,990 Special will attract a ‘70s Retro crowd.” I’m a bit of a Rocker or Café Racer at heart and my strings were pulled by the Racer, but that will be the subject of another longer review later.

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SPECS

MOTO GUZZI V7 III STONE AND SPECIAL 750

PRICE: $12,990 and $14,490 (plus on-road charges) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 10,000km or 12 months ENGINE: Air-cooled 2 cylinder, 4-stroke, camshaft in crankcase and pushrod, 2 valves per cylinder BORE x STROKE: 80 x 74 mm DISPLACEMENT: 744cc COMPRESSION: 10.5:1 POWER: 38kW @ 6200rpm TORQUE: 60Nm @ 4900rpm TRANSMISSION: 6-speed, dry single-plate clutch, shaft final drive SUSPENSION: Front, 40mm telescopic fork, travel 137mm. Rear, twin shock adjustable preload, travel 80mm.

Both models foster a ‘liven yourself up’ mood being light and comfortable and the roadholding feels as if nothing has changed in the last 30 years. The V7s are predictable and stable as any Featherbed or Tonti frame ever was.

You can’t lean on them too hard as the relatively skinny wheels, with the tyres favouring wear resistance rather than grip, mean you can’t rely on the Pirelli Demons to make up for only having 48kW and a single disc front brake. Just pick the gear that suits (plenty to choose from with six) and play the relaxed melody of touring or Sunday riding.

On the road, the V7, in either of its guises, look and feel more like a little bike with a big heart than a big bike

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 770mm, weight 213 and 219kg (wet), fuel capacity 21 litres, wheelbase 1445mm TYRES: Front 100/90 X 18, Rear 130/80 X 17 FRAME: Double cradle steel tubular BRAKES: Front, single 320mm disc with 4-piston caliper. Rear, 260mm disc, 2-piston caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 4.6 litres per 100km, premium unleaded THEORETICAL RANGE: 456km COLOURS: Stone - matt blue (Azzurro Elettrico) or matt black (Nero Ruvido).

Special - blue (Blu Zaffiro) or black (Nero Inchiostro) VERDICT: RETRO DROOL.

without a lot of power. By design, this fits into Guzzi’s philosophy of making a unit to fit everyone that everyone would enjoy riding. The build is small and light and the ease of riding means the package should be attractive to young and old, experienced and expert, and big and small riders. If you have aspirations of speed, racetrack handling and brakes then the Aprilia factory which is only 260 kilometres away will serve up something a lot more manic.

The Moto Guzzi range, especially in the 750s and 900s, is the last of the true modern classics if you need more than a single cylinder and want ABS, Traction Control and realworld performance in a great looking package. Bellissimo! D

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USED&REVIEWED

One Bear, kitted out for Iceland. Dare we say – a Black Sheep of a Polar Bear?

WORN IN FIRE AND ICE

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HIS IS A slightly unusual Used & Reviewed column. I arranged for the things listed here for my Iceland trip with Edelweiss Bike Travel which starts in this issue. Here then is the full-on report from the far north and a piece at the end from Ralph about his recent Held wearing joy.

SHOEI TO THE RESCUE

Shoei Neotec Helmet Price - $899.90

I know people are always trying to blind us with statistics, but here’s one you can trust: in 50 years of riding, Shoei helmets have saved my life at least twice, possibly three times. That’s not to say that another brand of helmet might not have saved my life as well; but the point is that in each case it was the Shoei that did its job.

So why do I wear other brands of helmet at all? Why not just stick to

Shoei? Well, it’s my job. And I have to admit that there have been times when I have been seduced by a plush interior, or a classy silhouette, or a trick paint job. And these helmets have done everything they were supposed to. But when I come back to Shoei I can never resist a slight feeling of pleasure and relief. As I say, I have no intention of dissing any other brand; it just so happens that I wouldn’t be in any condition to diss anything if it weren’t for those two or three saves.

But enough of that.

The Neotec Gloss Black that now adorns the Bear head is pretty much up

to date with every bit of technology available on helmets today. Despite this it is remarkably light.

The Neotec is a flip-up helmet with a large and easy-to-use lock release

The Shoei Neotec looks good.

This pic is of a white one so you can see the features better.

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USED & REVIEWED

Do not – I repeat, do not – write in and suggest that he is beginning to look like Kyle Sandilands. Just don’t.

button – one handed, even with gloves - and the lightweight chin bar and face shield rotate on a single axis point. The built in QSV1 sun shield has a large, easily located switch and according to Shoei blocks 99% of the suns damaging UV rays. The transparent CNS-1 main shield offers a distortion free view throughout the entire field of vision and also does its bit to block UV. It is Pinlock ready, and comes already equipped with a Pinlock Fog-Resistant insert.

The Neotec has a large lower vent shutter for optimal air intake and upper exhaust outlet vents to take advantage of negative pressure suction. It provides “a massive 267% improvement in ventilation compared to the Multitec”, says Shoei. The interior lining is removable and washable and there are three shell sizes so you’ll never find yourself wearing a helmet that looks too big on you.

I’ve found that the helmet not only fits extremely well, it also looks good and is easy to clean. Perhaps that’s because I chose a glossy paint finish.

Noise level is low and there is no lift at any speed. Legal speed, of course, ah hum. I wear glasses for the time being (cataract operation coming up!) and the arms of the glasses fit easily into the padding.

Does that sound perfect? Well, one of the features that I value highly on all my helmets is good peripheral vision. Some of the best helmets on the market fall down on this. The

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Neotec is one of them; while there is certainly a large cutout with better peripheral vision than any helmet would have offered a few years ago, it is not quite as wide as I would like.

This may be no more than a personal preference; I try to always use head checks when I change lanes or turn, and with this helmet I need to turn my head further than I’m used to.

So, that was my judgement after wearing the helmet a few times on the road. Has it changed after an intensive nine day ride in sometimes rough conditions? Yes, it has. I got used to the limited peripheral vision in a day or so, and by the end of the trip didn’t notice it at all. What did become a bit of a bother was the noise level. I still don’t think the helmet is noisy compared to many others, but I was aware of some whistling while I rode.

Nobody and nothing is perfect, and I’m happy to accept this small limitation in exchange for its good looks and the other features the Neotec offers. Not to mention that opening statistic… Shoei helmets are imported by McLeod Accessories, www.mcleodaccessories.com.au, and available at all good bike shops. PT DO THE TWISTA

Draggin Jeans Twista Price - $319 You can only carry so much clothing on bike trips, so I needed a pair of jeans that would do two or three jobs: they needed to be up to time on the bike, when I didn’t want to wear the full-on riding suit (see below), as well as for wandering around sightseeing and even the odd night out in a restaurant or bar.

To me the choice was obvious. I’ve been wearing Draggin Jeans for most of the 20 years that they’ve been on the market, and Draggin is the only casual motorcycle brand in the world to have ever passed both CE Level

1 and CE Level 2 certifications for abrasion, burst and tear resistance.

And some of their products look as smart as anything you’d buy in an upmarket fashion jeanery. That applies especially to their stretch, skinny leg Twistas, which come in blue and black (these people speak my language) and despite being outstandingly safe are also outstandingly smart-looking.

Like all their products, says Draggin’s Grant Mackintosh, “they are lined with Draggin’s very own revolutionary fabric called Roomoto, which offers unrivalled safety plus climate control which takes heat and sweat away from the skin and with antibacterial treatment for comfort while riding.”

It’s important to note that there is no external stitching, contact points are well covered and the Roomoto lining is soft, breathable, flexible and non-allergenic. There are knee armour pockets as well, but in this case, I decided to go with the ‘look’ ahead of maximum safety.

Because I was testing the Klim Kodiak suit, I didn’t wear the Twistas much on the bike, but I did wear them in the evenings and mornings when we weren’t riding. What can I say? Super comfortable, look good

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– and they were there when I wanted to do short rides such as down to the harbour for photos. Versatility is everything on these kinds of trips, and the Twistas are that in spades.

Draggin Jeans are made in Australia; see https://dragginjeans.net. PT BEAR TOP

Klim Kodiak Jacket Price - $1445

Kodiak bears (Ursus arctos middendorffi) live on Kodiak Island or one of the nearby islands off the coast of southwestern Alaska. These bears can be nearly as large as polar bears (Ursus maritimus) Bring on the Iceland weather. and include the largest brown bears on record. Sixteen of the twenty largest brown bears killed by hunters have come from the Kodiak Archipelago. A large male can stand over 3 metres tall on his hind legs and a metre and a half on all fours. A weight of 748kg was listed for one male in the Journal of Mammalogy. The females are smaller and even cuter.

The Kodiak jacket by Klim, inspired by these cuddly bros, is designed to handle long days of touring, anywhere you damn well want to go. This is handy.

It will handle four seasons in one day, so it can even be worn in Melbourne.

The jacket with its Gore Tex Pro shell features 8 air vents to maximise air flow for hotter days and multiple pockets which allow you to carry all you need. It fits really well and looks the goods both at a distance and close up, which is nice when you consider what so much adventure wear looks like. It has leather trim on high wear areas, and comes in a Regular, Stout and Tall sizing to fit just about any rider. Including this little brown bear here.

I ended up wearing the Kodiak jacket in all kinds of weather – Iceland matches and even exceeds Melbourne’s capabilities. The jacket feels good in any conditions, and its best feature is versatility. By juggling which vents you leave open you can control the temperature to an amazing degree. I didn’t fall off, so I can’t tell you about its safety, but I did bang one of my knees bloody hard against a masonry edge, and the pad absorbed the blow.

Please visit us at our Pop Up Shop 1/82-84 Thompson Ave, Cowes (next to Aldi) from Oct 17–23.

We will not be at the track!

Open from 9am– 9pm every day!

MotoGP Phillip Island

IC NEARVIEW EYEWEAR These glasses are the solution for those of you who can see clearly out front, but struggle to see your INSTRUMENT console. IC Nearviews are riding glasses with bifocal lenses.

Available in: +1.0, +1.5, +2.0, +2.5 & +3.0.

CLEAR

SMOKE

» Lightweight Frames » Anti-Fog Coating » Super Flexible

The arms are very flat so they fit comfortably between your head and helmet.

GO FROM THIS

TO THIS

Positive Dust Seal (optional extra) This dust seal clips in and out of the IC Nearviews frames and protects your eyes from fine dust, pollen and other irritants as well as peripheral light.

Available online from

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USED & REVIEWED

Klim products are imported by and available from Adventure Moto, 02 9651 3355 or 1300 466 686, www. adventuremoto.com.au. PT BEAR BOTTOM

Klim Kodiak Pants Price - $1150 Unless you’re Donald Duck you need pants as well, and the Klim Kodiak Pants were designed to handle “400 mile days, sketchy mountain passes, and constant passing storms that typically accompany an epic touring adventure” according to Klim.

Frankly, I would do my best to stay out of sketchy anything, but maybe I’m missing something.

The pants are much like the jacket and zip to it at the back, which I find extremely useful because it means your ‘friends’ will not be able to slip handfuls of snow into the back of your pants. This is important, make no mistake about it. Your buttocks will not enjoy a couple of litres of snow. Well, mine don’t.

The pants come with suspenders, which I will need to adjust to stop them from slipping down over my (admittedly sloping) shoulders. Apart from that you get all the advantages of the jacket. Dressed in a Klim

Klim gloves – comfortable and safe.

Kodiak jacket and pants you will not be able to face off either Ursus Arctos or Ursus Maritimus, but if an Icelandic sheep gives you trouble you will end up the victor in more than half of the cases.

Look, jokes aside, all of this stuff is just absolutely top notch. If the price gives you trouble, consider the fact that you will be comfortable in conditions where your friends in their cheap gear will freeze to death and become roadkill. All right?

One unavoidable drawback for both the jacket and the pants is that they ‘pack large’. All of the (highly welcome) impact protectors and the substantial material they’re made from mean that you will need a big bag to carry them. No problem if you wear them from home, of course, but that’s not really an option on a 24 hour flight.

I didn’t do any 400 mile days, but we did have some long sections and the pants never showed any pressure points or other uncomfortable aspects. Klim products are imported by and available from Adventure Moto, 02 9651 3355 or 1300 466 686, www.adventuremoto.com.au. PT

horizontally driven snow in Iceland, and while we didn’t encounter snow, we did get some below-zero mornings. Wearing the liners (below) with these gloves meant they coped.

Ultra-durable goat leather overlays provide abrasion resistance if (ha, ‘when’) I fall off. The gloves are also outstandingly comfortable, to the point where they’ve become my everyday riding gloves. Klim products are imported by and available from Adventure Moto, 02 9651 3355 or 1300 466 686, www.adventuremoto.com.au. PT SHEAR SHEEPY WARMTH

Icebreaker Apex 260gm Merino Wool Glove Liners Price - $39.95

COOL GLOVES

Klim Inversion Pro Gloves Price - $160 The Inversion Pro gloves from Klim are equipped with high-tech impact protection and leather durability.

Good, huh. They have Poron SR Impact foam on the knuckles and fingers which is about the latest and greatest product in the world for absorbing knocks, as well as the 100% windproof Windstopper construction block things to cope with wind chill during cold-weather performance.

I was hoping for great things from these gloves when we hit the Protectors in the pants can easily be adjusted.

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Inside the Inversion gloves in really cold weather, I wore Icebreaker Merino glove liners. These are lightweight, compact and made from midweight 260gm merino wool to give your hands an extra level of warmth. Two per cent of Lycra gives them stretch for a smooth fit. And of course they’re black.

Highly recommended, probably in any kind of gloves.

Icebreaker glove liners are available from Adventure Moto, 02 9651 3355 or 1300 466 686, www.adventuremoto.com.au. PT

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LEATHER & LACE

Held Imola Flash and Safer jackets - Price - $600 In my early teenage years, every paperboy payday yielded another Airfix model airplane. I was addicted to WW2 planes and building them, and this childhood addiction found its way into adult life and riding gear purchases. The latest and the greatest for me no less! Fast tracking into recent years has meant I have purchased, been given and even loaned-but-returned so much kit that I know what I like and can pass on stuff that just doesn’t meet the mark.

Enter two styles of HELD jackets that have accommodated my increasing girth. The ‘SAFER’ sports leather jacket is stylish and functional as any garment you could hope to own or wear with every boxed ticked in safety and design. The low-cut waist and the pronounced venting was a little too chilly on our recent Blue Mountains test let alone the refrigerator-like Melbourne sojourn for the recent GSX-S launch. That said, I would recommend the short sporty jacket to almost anyone. I happily returned the loan jacket and tried the Imola Flash and within two minutes I can say I’m happy to say I will spend my pocket money on

keeping warm being seen and obviously well protected!

The outer of the Cordura jacket is coated with a high-tech reflective technology this jacket shines like a Brittany lighthouse on the blackest night possible. How so?

Almost the entire outer surface lights up from any light source that shines on the garment. Trust me you won’t go unnoticed as the system is pretty damn amazing falling into the, ‘why hasn’t it been done before’ sphere.

The jacket itself is up to the usual high HELD standards of comfort and usefulness. The outer zippers offer waterproofing and the zip out warmer inner is brilliant. I would happily wear just a T-shirt down to about 7 degrees before donning an extra layer or thermals. The air venting works as I have worn the same jacket in summer (minus the Vis stuff) and you will find the COOLMAX lining helps with comfort and obviously keeping cool.

HELD always impresses me with the ability to draw in or exclude air

with the long length zippers and the jacket is solid enough not to flap around.

If I have a criticism and I can live with it is they tend to use Velcro rather than strong buttons on the cuffs and the front of the jacket, I guess more of a personal preference than a criticism.

I once thought their kit was on the unreasonably expensive side but now my first combo kit is four years old and showing zero signs of wear I have moved over to the German’s make - great value kit regardless of the investment.

See www.heldaustralia.com.au to purchase.RLM D

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trAVel

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On safari with Mo and Jacqui

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POSTIE NOTES

Words/photos JACQUI KENNEDY

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finally understand completely why Grey Nomads venture north every winter.

I had spent four months travelling north on the Queensland coast road and now it was time to explore the inland route south. My cousin David was managing a cattle station at Mt Garnet and had invited Mo and me to come and stay. This was a real working station, not

some glossed up tourist farm-stay and David is the quintessential Boss Cocky straight from a Henry Lawson poem.

I’m not sure if this pampered city-girl was much help with the chores but they indulged me and it was terrific to observe and absorb the challenges of the bush.

South from Mt Garnet was the Undara Lava Tubes where Mo and I were the

centre of attention at an impromptu outdoor presentation. I love doing these talks - the crowd engagement is uplifting. The Lava Tubes were quite interesting but the price of the tours and accommodation is prohibitively expensive for what you get.

On to Townsville where Michael and Neil from the Cape York Postie Adventure took me under their wing with the aim of improving my off-roading skills to give me more confidence on dirt and prepare me for the upcoming Postie Safari ride. I spent the next few weeks in and around Townsville on various gravel tracks and Mo managed to find another sand bog to have a little lie down. Neil thought to cure my sand-phobia by taking us down to the beach and although I managed to get Mo into second gear along the water’s edge, I was none the better on the dunes.

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t r av e l

“I was so far behind that we loaded Mo into the support trailer…”

My last bastion of comfort before the Safari was Charters Towers where I hung out with the ghosts at the Royal Hotel.

The Royal was one of many pubs during the gold rush days and now serves as a boutique hotel and backpacker hostel.

Beautifully decorated in period style, it was a great base for day trips out to Leahton Park and surrounds.

I had planned to meet up with the Postie Bike Safari crowd who had organised a 2000km charity ride from Mackay out to Winton and Longreach. I know that these rides can be challenging with very experienced riders “going hardcore” with the knowledge that the following support vehicles are there to scrape up any stray parts that fall off... and reattach them at the evening rest stop. The temptation of riding with an organised group, unloaded, through the outback towns, was too delicious to pass up so I put my apprehension on hold and joined the mob of 30 posties at Belyando.

Day One was more challenging than I could have ever imagined, throwing at us some of the worst outback conditions – the road and land having been severely affected by the long drought.

A 300 metre bulldust bowl was the first obstacle which exploded like talcum powder as each bike ploughed through it, obliterating all vision and blanketing the following riders. Then mile upon tedious mile of potholed roads with sand bogs jumping up to bite you every few feet. I was doing okay and keeping up the pace until I witnessed a serious off with the rider being medivac’d out.

It spooked me and affected my riding so badly that I found myself tiptoeing along the track at a woefully slow speed. By mid-afternoon I was so far behind that we loaded Mo into the support trailer and devoured the last section in 4wd airconditioned comfort.

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It is impossible to describe the devastation of the land with not a blade of grass or a tree to the horizon. You then know that a good wind or a decent rain is just going to strip the whole layer of topsoil leaving a burnt brown scar. We all limped into Muttaburra just on sunset with glazed over eyes - only cleared after hitting the pub.

Day Two was not much better with the lead rider taking a wrong turn and adding 100km to our dusty jaunt. We regrouped at the Winton Age of Dinosaurs museum for a wonderful tour of the facility. Hitting the North Gregory pub that evening, we discovered that a large contingent of Black Dog riders were also in town – instantly doubling the population of Winton.

Like many of the towns in this region, it is suffering badly from the drought and tourist dollars are critical to keeping places like this afloat. Unfortunately the Waltzing Matilda Centre had burnt down just weeks before our arrival but

we got to explore Arno’s Wall, the Big Deck Chair and the Musical Fence. I’m looking forward to revisiting Winton for the Vision Splendid Film Festival in June.

Day Three was just a short jaunt down the bitumen to Longreach. The council trucks had preceded our motorcade and cleared all the kangaroo carcasses off the road for us.

I have never, in all my travels, seen so much road kill. Another effect of the devastating drought as animals seeking moisture risk their lives by licking the dew off the road.

I left the Safari in Longreach as I was planning to head further west to

Birdsville. Despite the challenging slog on the dirt, the Safari was a terrific adventure and a wonderful charity fundraiser – discovering the true outback I could not have experienced as a lone rider. www.postienotes.com.au D

Ride New Zealand and live the dream!

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BIKETEST Go Business Class

YAMAHA

FJR1300AE

WORDS STUART PHOTOS NICK WOOD PHOTOGRAPHY

T

HE FJR1300 has long been a stalwart of the fast tourer scene. Its success has been thanks to the silky smooth, powerful in-line four, its relatively light weight and the ‘sporty’ handling. Add to that all-day comfort and good sized, 30 litre panniers and the FJR feels like a business class flight.

Minor updates have been floated through during the years but the changes to the latest release are probably the most significant.

There’s now a 6-speed gearbox and, bringing the FJR in line with its competition, adjustable electronic suspension is fitted, but that’s not all.

Further adding to the FJR’s electronic wizardry is the Yamaha Chip Controlled Throttle (YCC-T), or fly-by-wire to the rest of us. This system monitors your throttle action, which is then fed into the ECU. The high processing speeds of the ECU have no trouble calculating the optimum degree of throttle opening to suit the prevailing conditions, and the servomotordriven activator adjusts the throttle valve, ensuring that it delivers the right volume of air required to achieve the most desirable power characteristics. The system changes the character of the engine performance by adjusting the throttle valve in the YCC-T. It’s smooth and progressive with plenty of feel.

In fact you’d be hard pressed to even know that so much is going on inside the ECU – it’s as seamless as that. If this isn’t enough there’s also “Yamaha D-Mode” which gives you two power maps, identified as 'T' mode (Touring) and 'S' mode (Sport), which are operated by a push switch on the right handlebar. I preferred S mode the entire time as T mode knocked too much torque out of the bottom end and torque is one of the reasons you bought the FJR1300 in the first place! Traction

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bike test

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control is also fitted but you’d have to be riding pretty loose to get it activated.

It can be turned off via a button on the dash. Cruise control is there for those long stretches out on the highway. The latest system operates in 3rd-6th gears between 50-180km/h.

Despite the FJR retaining its distinctive look there have been some major changes. The electrically-operated windscreen is a different shape to give smoother airflow, and the centre air duct has been redesigned at both intake and exit. The reshaped ducts reduce the air pressure and turbulence felt by the rider's upper body, giving a much more relaxed and pleasant ride, particularly at higher speeds.

Twin-eye headlights are equipped with four compact and powerful LED

1. Weather protection is excellent 2. Yep, that’s, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6!

3. Both comfy, both happy!

FOR A COMPLETE RANGE OF TINTED & LARGER SCREENS

lighting units - while the LED position lights and LED tail light assembly give the FJR a classy look. The headlights are adaptive cornering lights that illuminate as the bike banks over, they work an absolute treat at night and will help spot those pesky hoppy things that seem to lurk at the side of the road!

The new 6-speed transmission which I reckon has been long overdue allows you to make optimal use of the massive reserves of torque for rapid acceleration with its different gear ratios - while the 6th gear gives lower rpm at high cruising speeds. If you’ve ever ridden the previous FJR with its 5-speed gearbox you’ll know that while the ratios were okay for the most part, having a 6-speed with a lower final ratio is nothing but top stuff. And for smoother downshifting and enjoyable cornering, a standard Assist and Slipper (AS) clutch is fitted. On the rear end of all this is a low maintenance, super strong shaft drive.

Ergonomics are supremely comfortable as you would expect from such a stalwart. Pillion comfort is also included in that and when it comes

to buying a tourer this can sometimes be the nod up and down allowing the handing over of the dollars. Add in the low 805mm seat, the FJR is easily manageable for most sized riders. For colder months there are heated grips.

Luggage tie down points are there aplenty as Ralph found out making a trip through south NSW. See his breakout box about his trip.

Fuel consumption is what you want to make it. The large amount of power can mean it will suck juice like a lion guzzling the blood of its prey, or you can sit in a much higher gear and let the FJR sip its wine like a prim and proper King. Our overall result was in the mid-range of what you can expect – 6.58L/100km giving you a theoretical range of 379km from the available 25 litres.

The big news is the fitment of electronic suspension. By simply selecting an option via the handlebarmounted switch, you can use ‘One-Up’, ‘One-Up with Luggage’, ‘Two-Up’ or ‘Two-Up with Luggage’ suspension settings. The choice is then confirmed on the instrument panel. In

www.eaglescreens.com.au EXACTLY HALFWAY BETWEEN WINDSOR AND SINGLETON ON YOUR PUTTY ROAD RIDE CLUBS AND GROUPS WELCOME PHONE AHEAD FOR QUICKER SERVICE

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 Cafe Style Food  Giftwares  Toilets/Showers  Air Conditioned  Free 24 hour Camping  Open 7 days 7.00am to 5.00pm and by appointment for evening functions www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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BIKE TEST

The Eurobodalla is an almost unknown region for some, and most probably only know it for the cheese! It’s a pocket of green rolling hills, aqua blue sea and more than its fair share of State Forests and National Parks on the South Coast of New South Wales. It’s bounded by Batemans Bay (well, slightly north at East Lynne) and Wallaga Lake to the south. The western boundary is the escarpment of the Great Divide and for the marine scientists among us the beautiful Montagu Island moored just off Narooma. For those in the know (and I bet they would prefer it kept as a well-guarded secret) the area has some of the best roads in the State and if you are belting down from Sydney or Canberra or making a trip north from Victoria there’s no better, more comfortable or even suitable way to arrive than on the FJR1300AE we had in our hands.

You can’t go wrong having lots of comfort and given the hilly nature of the region lots of torque and a smooth gearbox will help.

The ribbon of road called the King’s Highway crossing the divide near Batemans Bay suits the FJR as its sporting trait will be called upon. It is admittedly best to give the weekends a miss if you can, avoiding the mass of cars that goes back and forth from Canberra. The corners are sweeping and grow tighter as the road climbs and the surface is excellent. I like to use the south road on the way down, hugging the coast, and the King’s to wind my way back via the Southern Highlands to home base.

The Eurobodalla has been my go-to-area for all of my riding life, let’s say from about the time Gough told me “It’s time”, so while development has crept in slowly the encroachment of commercialisation barely tainted little villages like Central Tilba. I have used just about every type of motorcycle on the road to my southern Nirvana from Posties to Electra-Glides, from solo to loaded two-up with gear and dual-sports to superbikes. The thing about the big FJR is how fuss-free and relaxing it makes the trip. Four, five or more hours in the saddle is nothing, especially when time calls. I made this trip down and back in two days.

Narooma as well as the towns of Bermagui, Cobargo and Central Tilba offer some of the best food and lodgings with plenty of things to do and see for a few days or a week. The best thing about the Eurobodalla is relaxation is guaranteed to be instant and immensely satisfying, a bit like the FJR really! RLM

addition to these four main settings, the system also offers a choice of ‘Soft’, ‘Standard’ or ‘Hard’ damping for each setting, giving a total of 12 pre-defined suspension set-up options.

Both Ralph and I rode the FJR during our time with it and found one-up with luggage and soft was a good happy medium for both sporty and normal riding.

Accessories are purposeful with hand shields, foot shields, GPS mount, 39 or

50 litre topbox, various sized tankbags, pannier inner bags, slip-on Akrapovic mufflers, comfort seat, high windshield and crash protection being the obvious bits and pieces most owners would look at.

There’s a reason the Yamaha FJR1300 has been around so long, and the new FJR1300AE version has brought the model up to date with its high level electronics package. Ride one and you’ll see just how good they are. D

A bit on the side Destination South

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SPECS YAMAHA FJR1300AE PRICE: $27,999 (plus on-road charges) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 10,000km or 12 months ENGINE: Liquid-cooled in-line four cylinder, 4-stroke, DOHC, 4 valves per cylinder BORE x STROKE: 79 x 62.2mm DISPLACEMENT: 1298cc COMPRESSION: 10.8:1 POWER: 106.7kW @ 8000rpm TORQUE: 138Nm @ 7000rpm TRANSMISSION: 6-speed, wet multi-plate slipper clutch, shaft final drive SUSPENSION: Front, 48mm inverted fork, electronically adjustable, travel 135mm. Rear, monoshock, electronically adjustable, travel 124mm.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 805mm, weight 292kg (wet), fuel capacity 25 litres, wheelbase 1545mm TYRES: Front, 120/70/ZR17.

Rear, 180/55/ZR17 FRAME: Aluminium diamond BRAKES: Front, twin 320mm discs with four-piston ABS calipers. Rear, 282mm disc, dual-piston ABS caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 6.58 litres per 100km, premium unleaded THEORETICAL RANGE: 379km COLOURS: Tech Graphite VERDICT: BOOK YOUR BUSINESS CLASS TICKET

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NEWINTHESHOPS

read your instrument panel, speedo or GPS. Given the proliferation of ever fluctuating speed zones, this is a pain.

Basically the IC Nearviews are riding glasses with bifocal lenses. The bifocals are available in +1.0, +1.5, +2.0, +2.5 and +3.0. While riding you look along the road through the non-magnified lenses and when you want to check your instruments, speedo or GPS you simply look down through the bifocals.

How simple is that! Grab a pair (or two) from www.rockycreekdesigns. com.au

BARKING AWESOME!

BARKBUSTER MODEL SPECIFIC KITS A growing range of model-specific hand guard kits is now available from Australian hand guard specialist, Barkbusters, allowing owners of adventure motorcycles, as well as a number of street bikes, to switch out inferior OEM offerings with the best quality hand protection on the market.

Although the focus is mainly on adventure motorcycles, a number of the hardware kits are custom designed to fit many street, dual-sport, trail and rally bikes. The full wrap-around aluminium hardware is compatible with Barkbusters JET, VPS, STORM and CARBON plastic guards. All recommended fitting options are for motorcycles with OEM specifications and details of the full range can be found on the Barkbusters website: www.barkbusters.net/products/modelspecific or www.barkbusters.net

I FEEL THE NEED, THE NEED FOR SPEED

ARAI RX-7V PRICE - $1099.95 - $1299.95 BOOk The RX-7V has YOUR been around for many years but it’s now all-new. The RX7V represents the summit of Arai’s knowledge, experience and knowhow in helmet technology. With a completely new PB-SNC outer shell, the revolutionary VAS (Variable Axis System) visor system and a significant increased smooth area around the temples, the RX-7V offers the new

2018 ADVENTURE

NOW

AND kEEp 2017 pRicEs

13 years

STAY DRY, MAN!

benchmark in the premium helmet segment. From the (also new) Eco Pure liner with an even slimmer frame, to the new ducts, improved diffuser and the integrated Air Channels, every part shows the attention to detail that is typical of Arai. The company has continually improved the ‘glancing off ’ performance by learning from real scenarios. Thanks to the new stronger and smoother shell and VAS, the RX7V is closer to the ideal helmet shape than ever. See your local bike shop or www.araihelmets.net.au

I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW

IC NEARVIEW SAFETY GLASSES When it comes to motorcycling, your vision is critical. As we get older most of us experience some deterioration in our eyesight. These glasses from Rocky Creek Designs are a great solution for those of you who can see clearly out front, but struggle to

NELSON-RIGG 2-PIECE ASTON RAINSUIT PRICE - $139.95 Introducing the 2-Piece Aston rainsuit from the USA’s #1 rainwear manufacturer, Nelson-Rigg.

Nelson Rigg’s rainwear has been designed and perfected utilising years of real world motorcycling experience.

The choice of styles enables you to have rain apparel that suits your riding style and budget.

Whether you’re into long distance riding through harsh weather or just want rainwear in case of an emergency, Nelson Rigg has you, er, covered. The Aston suit has many premium features, a 2 year warranty and is available in Black/ Black and Black/Hi-Visibility Yellow, and sizes S - 4XL. See your local bike shop or visit www.linkint.com.au/ nelson-rigg adriaticmototours.com www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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NEW IN THE SHOPS

360 zip, with a list of features that even the most experienced rider is sure to appreciate. Redesigned fitment (IXFIT) and cut short in the front for ultimate comfort on the bike, CrossTour retains the full coverage longer jackets offer while the 3 in 1 concept offers versatility regardless of the weather. Available in Black or Black/Grey and sizes S – 4XL, see your local bike shop or visit www.ficeda.com.au

FASTER! FASTER! PRO PROTECTION

DAINESE PRO ARMOUR Price - $79.95 (chest), $129.95 (back) Made of flexible, stretchable expanded nitrile rubber, the CE-certified ProArmor G back protector and the Pro-Armor chest protectors feature a perforated structure and a functional pattern that make them extremely comfortable. See your local bike shop or www.cassons.com.au

FOR THE RIDER

IXON CROSSTOUR JACKET & PANTS

ONEAL 10L FAST FILL JUG PRICE - $49.95 Minimise the time you spend filling your motorcycle with the new ONeal Fast Fill Fuel Jug. Allowing you to fill your bike in a matter of seconds the Fast Fill Fuel Jug gives you more time to drink beer or do other necessary maintenance. It can be used for racing, too. See your local bike shop or visit www.cassons.com.au

BREATHE DEEP

K&N AIR FILTER – R1 & MT-10 PRICE - $169.95 A new high flow replacement air filter from K&N is now available for both the Yamaha YZF-R1; 2015-2017 and the MT-10; 2016-2017 models. K&N’s high-flow air filter offers low air flow restriction, resulting in improved throttle-response. The deep pleated K&N cotton medium provides a large filtration area offering long service intervals and excellent filtration. This filter is designed to fit directly into the OEM air box without any fiddling or cutting required. Grab one at your local bike shop or www.ctaaustralia.com.au

CLEAN ME UP Price - $379.95 (jkt) & $299.95 (pnt) The Ixon CrossTour is truly designed with the rider in mind. A technical and modern looking pant and jacket set, connected via a full

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INDIAN SCOUT COOLANT COVER PRICE - $59.99US The new Kuryakyn Coolant Hose Cover for Indian Scouts picks up where the factory left off, delivering

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products. Styled to honour the brand’s Swedish roots, the complete line-up adopts clean and stylish design. See your local Huskie dealer or www.husqvarnamotorcycles.com/au/

CUTE & FUNCTIONAL

a clean, custom appearance. The bolt-on cover features A380 aluminium construction with a grooved and contoured “elbow” profile offering full wraparound coverage of the exposed coolant hose to help minimise excessive engine heat. Available in chrome or satin black finishes, installation is hassle-free for all ’15-’17 Scout and Scout Sixty models reusing factory bolts. Visit www. kuryakyn.com to purchase.

out thermal lining, connection zipper for pants and available in Black or Ivory/Black and sizes S - 4XL. That’s what we call riding gear! See your local bike shop or visit www.linkint.com.au

MACNA LADIES ZIRCON GLOVES PRICE - $149.95 The Ladies Zircon gloves offer a great deal of comfort, protection and functionality for the serious

GO CASUAL

HUSQVARNA CASUAL WEAR Husqvarna Motorcycles is delighted to announce the release of the

MYTHED ME!

MACNA MYTH JACKET PRICE - $269.95 Clean lines and simple styling makes this the perfect go-to jacket for everyday use. Key features include - full length all-roads, all-rounder jacket, Safe-Tech CE approved shoulder and elbow armour, padded back protection, 100% waterproof and breathable Raintex lining, zip

2018 casual clothing collection – a complete line-up of premium quality gear for all dedicated Husqvarna fans.

Offering casual wear and lifestyle accessories for men, women and kids, the clothing and accessories collection offers premium quality and pioneering spirit in all the

rider. Fitted with a genuine Raintex waterproof and breathable liner along with a Thermolite/ Bemberg Isofur comfort liner to keep everything warm. Other features include an all leather palm with double layer and padding TPR knuckle and finger protection with a screen cleaner on the index fingers. Cordura nylon back for greater dexterity and double closure incorporating Macna’s unique 30 degree closure system for secure fitment. Each index finger is fitted with “Touch Tip” technology enabling use of your smart phone or GPS without removing your gloves. Available in black only and Ladies sizes XS – 2XL. See your local bike shop or www.linkint.com. au/macna D

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BIKetest

DUCAti MONsteR 1200 S Peachy sweet

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Words stUARt photos NiCk WOOd PHOtOGRApHY

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BIKE TEST

SPECS DUCATI MONSTER 1200 S PRICE: $24,790 (Red), $24,990 (Grey) (plus on-road charges) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 15,000km or 12 months ENGINE: Liquid-cooled L-twin cylinder, 4-stroke, Desmodromically actuated 4 valves per cylinder BORE x STROKE: 106 x 67.9mm DISPLACEMENT: 1198.4cc COMPRESSION: 13.0:1 POWER: 110.3kW @ 9250rpm TORQUE: 126.2Nm @ 7750rpm TRANSMISSION: 6-speed, wet multi-plate slipper clutch, chain final drive SUSPENSION: Front, 48mm inverted fork, adjustable preload, compression and rebound, travel 130mm.

Rear, monoshock, adjustable preload, compression and rebound, travel 149mm.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 795-820mm, weight 211kg (wet), fuel capacity 16.5 litres, wheelbase 1485mm TYRES: Front, 120/70/ZR17.

Rear, 190/55/ZR17 FRAME: Tubular steel trellis BRAKES: Front, twin 330mm discs with radial mount four-piston ABS calipers. Rear, 245mm disc, dual-piston ABS caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 8.06 litres per 100km, premium unleaded THEORETICAL RANGE: 204km COLOURS: Ducati Red, Liquid Concrete Grey VERDICT: AN ABSOLUTE HOOT

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ONSTERS CAN BE scary, monsters can be ugly but when you ride the latest version of Ducati’s Monster 1200, in particular the S version we test here, your outlook on monsters will change. They are actually pretty and not so scary. They might still bite you if you mistreat them, but that’s pretty hard to do.

If you scroll back a few months to when we tested last year’s Monster 1200 R you could quite easily be forgiven for thinking the new S is the same bike sans special decals and paintwork, and you’d be pretty much on the money. I felt instantly at home jumping on the 1200 S. The 1198 Testastretta has mega amounts of power (although 7.5kW less than the R version) and torque to get the giggle juices flowing, and the Ohlins 48mm forks and shock which are fully adjustable make you feel like a superstar. Turn in is fast and stable with the Pirelli Diablo Rosso III shod Y-spoke wheels giving you amazing grip. When it comes time to get the juices running down the inside of your visor the latest and greatest Brembo M50 calipers grip 330mm discs upfront and give racebike-like stopping power.

Styling is very much Monster DNA with an aggressive, muscular appearance. The easiest way to pick this latest model is via the rectangular mufflers. The L-twin beat coming from those dual pipes is quite nice but I dare say most owners will ditch them for the accessory option.

A powerful halogen headlight with a “horseshoe” daytime running light gives you safety and style in the one package. The brake/tail light and

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indicators also use LEDs for a great look.

A colour TFT instrument panel has three different configurations called Core, Full and Track, each designed to show the information that is best suited to the riding conditions. All three screen configurations show the currently selected gear. In Urban riding mode, the display adopts the Core configuration, minimising the amount of data displayed.

The most evident information is vehicle speed: this is shown in the centre of the screen while the selected gear is shown on the right. In Touring riding mode, the display changes completely and goes to the Full configuration

to show as much useful travelling info as possible, and in Sport riding mode, the display adopts the Track configuration, providing only information related to sport riding. The rev counter graphic is a ‘superbike-style’ layout. The TFT panel can also be personalised letting you choose which of the displays you want.

As with all of the higher spec Ducati range the 1200 S has an extensive electronics package.

This includes 3 riding modes (as mentioned above) and Bosch cornering ABS, traction control and wheelie control to enhance dynamic performance, optimise control and ensure high levels of safety.

The 1200 S is available in two

colour schemes - Ducati Red with red frame and black wheels or the Liquid Concrete Grey with black frame and black wheels which you see in the pictures. I wasn’t overly in love with the grey to start with but it grew on me and it’s something different to all other colours out there.

Dig down deep into those long pockets as the accessory list is long and exquisite. Endless amounts of carbon and billet are ready to go, along with the rest of the meticulous range that’s available.

Riding this Monster is like having a high powered weapon strapped to your right wrist – it can sit idle and (be ridden) calmly for years, even decades, but pull the cord and this monster is a blast. D

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event

2017 48th edition

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Alpine Rally

Words/photos the Possum

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I

launCHed frOM home in full wet weather gear, but fortunately, the further from the coast I went, the better the weather became.

The large Visy factory just out of Tumut generates plenty of heavy vehicle traffic, which can impact on the way one attacks Gocup Road between Gundagai and Tumut. Just one of the

burdens of a traveller, I guess.

The run out of Tumut and up Talbingo Mountain was quite enjoyable, except for the sideways movement of the front wheel on some of the wet patches – time for a new tyre perhaps!

We arrived at the rally site at Cotterills Cottage, and found Henning well established; and the fire wood had been delivered!

Friday night is usually a quiet affair, and this one was no exception.

There was a good roll-up by sunset, with a few more coming in during the evening. The western side of the camping area was looking like Spyder City as the Can-Am fanciers took up real estate. With a cloudless night, there was the expected frost, and the Can-Am crowd reported an

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EVENT

challenge, there was a pretty mixed bag of bikes in camp, including plenty of Harleys and even a few Laverdas.

Saturday evening was spent fire hopping by some, and much animated discussion on all things bike related with some world scale problem solving thrown in. Maybe our PM should attend

Mr Giles passes the baton

1

Henning Jorgenson took over the running of the Alpine in 1990 from Paul Giles, who conceived the rally and ran things from 1969.

Paul passed the baton to Henning after poor health prevented him from keeping things going.

Henning is known far and wide for his green R75/5 BMW – with long range tank – that has clocked over 501,900 MILES in his hands! There have been

2

articles in magazines as far afield as the UK on this feat of endurance

overnight low of minus 4.5 degrees.

Not a record for this rally, but pretty chilly.

Saturday morning was clear and warm (-ish), with the residents basking likeke lizards in the sun.

By about lunchtime there was a steady flow of arrivals turning into the site, with

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1. Bring wood. Be a Star!

2.The joys of frost – you can write things.

a few overshoots by some of the more enthusiastic types who managed to get turned around and back into the camp.

Due to the lack of a dirt road

and reliability.

All profits from the running of the Alpine have in the past gone to the Snowy Rescue Helicopter, but since the Government is now deeply involved in this service, the RFDS is under consideration as the charity of choice.

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Get the book!

Of interest to old stagers, will be a book of photos compiled by Andrea Corradine called ‘Alpine at Brindabella’.

This book is 58 pages of pics from the time the Alpine was held at Brindabella at the end of a challenging mud road and down a steep and greasy slope. The book is available in hard or soft cover on line at www.alpinerally.web.com and is priced in $US so the price will fluctuate.

a rally and pick up some tips on running the country.

The frost on Sunday morning did not appear as heavy as on the Friday morning, but a number of themometers produced readings ranging from minus 6 to minus 10 degrees. I’m going with minus 6 as my face really hurts at minus 10, and this time it didn’t.

9am Sunday, Henning holds his service on the verandah of the cottage and all the frozen faithful gathered. Things got underway with a bit of poetry from rally stalwart, Baz from Yass, who recited a little something concerning the Alpine from his perspective.

The photo albums capturing moments from Alpines past were passed around, and it was very depressing to see all those long haired skinny blokes gazing out of the pages at us balding, rounder, retired types, who could pick out mates of years gone by, but had trouble finding ourselves.

Henning stepped up the merchandising this year. We don’t need another t-shirt, so he had nice embroided shirts with collars and an assortment of ties, in

addition to the stickers and beanies.

Rally gone formal !

There has been a policy of recent times for any entrant under 23 years of age to get their badge free, and we had two step up this time round. And I noticed a bike with a green P plate on site, so some youngsters seem to be taking up the challenge.

There was a special guest announced.

The Pudding was on site and a previous patient of the RFDS volunteered to carry it to its next destination, and paid $500 for the privilege. The usual ‘cost’ for carrying the Pudding is one cent per kilometre, and it has been a steady earner for the Flying Doctor. Technophiles will be able to access the Puddings Facebook page to follow its travels.

A special mention must be made of the Tumut Valley Riders, who assisted Henning with a couple of truck loads of wood and provided a big trailer for the rubbish removal. The TVR run the Autumn Leaf on the last Saturday of April, and the Trout on the first Saturday of November so keep them in mind.

Despite the trailer being available for rubbish removal, there was an act of wanton vandalism at the camp site – ONE flattened beer can was left behind by some miscreant – you sir, are on notice ! To everyone else – well done.

Packing up damp tents and other kit is always a challenge and it never goes onto the bike as neatly as it arrived, but we managed to load up and head off by late morning for a cracking good ride home.

While it is long notice, please consider the 50th Alpine on the Queens Birthday Weekend 2019. This will be the first Australian rally to reach 50, and Henning as asked for any of the old timers to make the effort. The Pope has granted

dispensation and will allow caravans and mobile homes on site for this special occasion, so start planning, and check your old photo albums for any pics you can contribute to the Rally Albums!

Keep em warm Alpine Rallys and cold hands go hand in hand – as it were. But not this time.

I got hold of a pair of Road Skin gloves and I was astonished. I wore these gloves leaving home and had to stop and take them off as they were too warm!

Closer to the mountains, they went back on and I found I didn’t need my heated grips.

Leaving the Rally on the Sunday, I was toasty warm all the way to Mum’s. My return journey started at 5 degrees and as I rode in and out of fog banks it got down to one degree, and the ice warning was flashing madly on the dash. I did have the heated grips on, but only on the first position, instead of the usual super hot position.

Over 40 years of riding, my hands have copped a beating from freezing rides to cold places, and to have a pair of gloves at last that are really warm, and water proof, is a blessing. These gloves are kevlar lined, and have all the hard bits in the right places, and are really waterproof. Priced at $119 plus freight (postpack) from www.motorcyclegear. com.au D

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TRAVEL No way, Jose

13

PLACES YOU CAN’T RIDE

WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR

W

E PRIDE ourselves on the freedom that riding a motorcycle gives us, but places exist that we can’t visit on our bikes. There are very different reasons for this; here’s a selection.

NORTH KOREA

I need hardly tell you that you may find yourself returning from a visit to North Korea with terminal brain damage after being a guest of the State for a year; and that’s if you take a formally approved

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bus tour. Not only will you not get approval to enter the country with a motorcycle, you don’t want to get approval. Trust me.

There’s a bloke who talked his way into China at the Pakistani border and managed to get a few hundred kilometres into the country before he was caught. The cops turned him around and told him to get out of the country, bùjiu, and no sightseeing along the way. In North Korea I suspect he would have confessed to an attempt to undermine the State, and then he would never have been seen again.

So North Korea is a double ‘no’; you can’t go, and even if you could you would not want to. The next example is a trip anyone can try… but nobody (as far as I know) has ever succeeded in completing it…

THE DARIEN GAP

Cortez, according to Keats, was speechless “upon a peak in Darien”. Not so my friend Albert, although he wasn’t on a peak – he was in a swamp and he was swearing his head off in Austrian German. If you’ve never heard this, you have missed something. It sounds like the combined voices of an enraged cobra and a furious, choking small bear.

The Darien Gap is a 130km, er, well, gap in the Transamerica Highway. As far as I know it is the only part of the highway between Alaska and Tierra del Fuego that is simply impassable for motorcycles or any other vehicles. More than one adventurer has crossed it on foot, renting native canoes and wading the swamps which form the most difficult obstacles. There are others, it seems, including great big fat snakes.

Albert turned back and caught the boat. So, I think, has everyone else who’s tried. I do recall talking to a bloke at an

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American rally who claimed that a friend had done the crossing on an airhead BMW at some vague time in the past.

But we were into our second bottle of El Jolgorio at this stage so I can’t really vouch for anything said at the time. He may merely have said that his friend attempted the crossing…

Next, a place that has perfectly good (if poorly… well, not, maintained) roads but which is officially closed to any one not on a guided bus tour.

Chernobyl

It was, and still is, the world’s worst nuclear accident. Today, the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant Exclusion Zone is becoming a major tourist attraction. You can take a bus through the Zone, and you will even be allowed to get off and walk around a bit. Why you’d want to do this is beyond me, but it seems that the radiation level has dropped dramatically.

But you still can’t ride a motorcycle

through the Exclusion Zone, and you haven’t been able to since it was established. Elena Filatova, the Ukrainian motorcyclist and photographer who posted a photo-essay of alleged solo motorcycle riding in the Zone on a Ninja, is apparently telling porkies.

According to various people, she caught the bus like everyone else, although she was carrying a helmet. But a neighbour maintains that she doesn’t even ride a motorcycle. Ah, you know neighbours…

So I guess you can always show up at the boom gate and ask. Tell them that your name is Elena Filatova and that you know your way around.

Radiation and resulting restricted access can be found elsewhere, too, not just in the Ukraine.

Maralinga

If you’ve got a four-wheel drive and a bit of patience, you can apply for a permit to camp where the Poms set off some

China: the riding’s fine, as long as you can get out of town.

of their nuclear test bombs. Maralinga is accessible for two-day, supervised ‘holidays’ in, but not on, your own vehicle. Frankly I’d rather go to the Gold Coast, but perhaps not during Schoolies.

And radiation is far from the only reason why you can’t go visit some places in Australia.

Pine Gap

To be fair, this spy installation near Alice Springs is closed to everyone who doesn’t work there or has a skyhigh security clearance. Your mode of transport doesn’t matter. Pine Gap is a major earth station for the US satellite intelligence network, and as such is a slice of the good ol’ USA in the desert.

Back in the day when you fixed computers rather than just throwing

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them away when they stopped working, I used a computer repairman who was also a keen four-wheel driver. He and his son, he once told me, had been accosted somewhere out in the desert by a jeep filled with armed soldiers in American uniforms. They were stopped and held there while radio consultation went on, and only released – on the condition that they turned around a nd got the hell out of there – after a few hours.

This bloke was furious and complained to the police, who simply told him to check his maps more carefully and stay out of restricted areas. When he mentioned that he was not amused at being held at – effectively – gunpoint, the cops had nothing to say.

But there are other places where you might encounter American soldiers, and even Singaporean ones.

Shoalwater Bay

This Military Training Area encompasses four and a half thousand square kilometres north of Yeppoon on the Queensland coast. Australian soldiers were trained here before deployment in the Vietnam War, and the ADF continues to use the area.

As a result, you may go knockin’ but you can’t come in.

Not so the US, with whom the federal government entered into a long-term

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agreement in 2005 to use Shoalwater Bay for military training purposes.

A similar agreement was made with the Singapore Ministry of Defence. Various local politicians have greeted the presence of foreign troops quite enthusiastically, but not all of the locals have been happy.

They point to the threat of environmental damage to the Shoalwater Bay region, especially by the possible use of depleted uranium weapons. There have been some demonstrations, but you know what usually happens after those, That’s right, zilch. At any rate, this allegedly beautiful and varied part of the world is closed to us.

Not that you need to go all the way to Rockhampton to find yourself locked out of military land.

Holsworthy

Just south of Sydney and across the river from Liverpool, Holsworthy Military Reserve is just as inaccessible as military reservations out in the desert or up on the tropical coast.

Even though the reserve includes some prime dirt bike country, I’d have to say that in this case it’s a good idea to keep it closed off.

Holsworthy has been used as an artillery firing range since WW1. You can just imagine how many unexploded shells it holds; some 8% of artillery fuses fail, according to figures I found.

There is more of a problem with unexploded bombs, which can become very sensitive after a few decades, but shells can explode or leak as they get old, too. Let’s just hope that none of those WW1 shells at Holsworthy contain poison gas.

Is it only the military that stops us from riding where we damn well like? Oh, no.

Macquarie Island

Here’s a place with an interesting history, even if you can’t go and ride there –the only place on earth where rocks from the earth’s mantle are being actively exposed above sea-level. As a result, it’s on the UNESCO World Heritage List as a site of major geoconservation significance. What do you mean, you could care less and would rather be able to ride your enduro bike up and down those cool hills? This is a place with a tough history.

Discovered in 1810 and named after guess whom, the penguins and seals living there were hunted almost to the point of extinction only a few years later. And get this: according to my research “the conditions on the island and the surrounding seas were considered so harsh that a plan to use it as a penal settlement was rejected.”

It was too tough to use as a gaol, in the days when Sarah Island (in, er, Macquarie Harbour in Tasmania) was considered just right! Between 1902 and 1920 it supported an oil industry based on penguins. These days Australian National Antarctic Research Expeditions (ANARE) has its expedition headquarters there, I gather, but I understand that they don’t have any bikes. Bummer.

So that’s politics, military intelligence and unexploded artillery shells, as well as the environment as reasons why you can’t ride your bike somewhere. What else is there? Ah, of course… religion!

Athos

It occupies the northernmost of the three peninsulas of Halkidiki in Greece, and it is theoretically accessible by road.

But even if you got permission to ride in (which is doubtful, because the usual entry is by ferry) you would have to be male. Yes, females are strictly forbidden in the semi-independent territory held by the Orthodox Church. Despite (or perhaps because of) that, there are thousands of monks living below the steep slopes of Mount Athos.

But much of the peninsula appears to be off limits even to male visitors, so who knows? The monks could have a full-on motocross track there… but I

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30/8/17 8:05 pm

doubt it. Those long black robes would get in the way, not to mention the luxuriant beards. Anyway, you won’t see it, and definitely won’t ride it.

ANTARCTICA

Nature can make it difficult to ride in some places, whether the various authorities allow you to rip around there or not. One of them is Antarctica.

Even getting your bike there is a job, and few people have managed it. Some have, though. One is my friend David McGonagle, who convinced the captain of a Russian icebreaker to carry him and his BMW to Antarctica from the tip of South America. British and Russian woman riders have also laid tyres on the seventh continent, as have a few (a very few) blokes.

Strictly speaking, then, Antarctica doesn’t belong on this list but it’s so damn hard to reach that I thought I’d include it. But you don’t have far to go to find a place that’s truly inaccessible by motorcycle. Partly because you’re not allowed to visit, but also partly because there is simply no point.

BALLS PYRAMID

Twenty-three kilometres from Lord Howe Island and more than half a kilometre tall, Balls Pyramid is the core of an ancient volcano out in the open ocean. There is effectively no flat land and the rock is protected for ecological reasons; it is inhabited only by giant stick insects.

You can take a viewing trip from Lord Howe, but that’s it. And even if you decided on a highly illegal, midnight motorcycle visit using your own boat (or perhaps a surplus landing craft) you’d have nowhere to ride unless you

could scale more or less vertical slopes. So just leave Balls Pyramid alone, all right?

That pretty much leaves us with only one reason for lack of motorcycle access: simple bureaucratic bloodymindedness. Here are two examples – one far away in a foreign land and one just down the road.

SHANGHAI

Along with several other places in China, Shanghai prohibits the use of motorcycles in its inner city.

Theoretically this is to reduce pollution and congestion; and it includes (wait for it) bicycles!

“How can prohibiting bicycles reduce pollution?” I asked a Chinese acquaintance. “You don’t understand how China works,” she replied. “The people who make the rules and the laws don’t ride motorcycles or bicycles; they drive or are driven around in cars.

They don’t like cycles of any kind getting in the way. Pollution is just an excuse.”

Whether that’s true or not, the prohibition has certainly reduced congestion on the roads. That’s because motor and bicycles now use the footpaths instead. There is little enforcement to stop that, from what I’ve seen. Maybe the people who make the rules and the laws don’t use the footpaths much?

In an attempt to sell more bikes in China, Harley-Davidson has considered putting garages at the borders of the restricted zones. That way, Harley owners can drive their cars out there and swap over to their bikes for a ride in the country. Clever? Yes, but practical? Maybe.

THE INDIAN-PACIFIC AND THE GHAN

This one is personal. Some years ago, I got a letter from a reader telling me about his experiences while crossing to Perth from Sydney on the Indian Pacific train. He and his wife were travelling as passengers, and his bike was travelling with the cars. When the train was stopped due to floodwaters ahead, the passengers were transferred to buses, but he asked if he could get his bike off the train – an easy job, apparently - and continue that way. Oh no, he was told, the bike would have to go back to Adelaide with the cars. Removing vehicles en route was forbidden.

I contacted the company and was told that not only was he correct, but they didn’t take motorcycles anyway. A chat to the Sydney depot revealed that nobody had told them, and they were quite happy to accept bikes.

Soon after that, motorcycles were restricted to trailers which were attached to cars and stayed attached for the trip; and later they simply said that they did not take bikes. Having travelled on the Ghan somewhat earlier with my bike after a fairly serious crash up on the Tanami Road, I tried to clear this up and possibly change the company’s mind. I asked for their reasons, but never got a sensible reply. Bikes (including outfits) were forbidden and that was that.

Annoying, to put it mildly.

So there you go; 13 places you (or most of you) can’t go on your bikes. Write and tell me if you know of more; thebear@ausmotorcyclist.com.au or The Bear, PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111. I imagine you’ll be able to come up with a few beauties! D Motorcyclists Ken and Tania welcome you to their highly recommended cafe.

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GRIZZLING Yes, there’s a Bear in there!

“Where are all the Aussies?

All we see is Canadians!”

NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN

O

H, YEAH, Ecclesiastes?

I beg to differ. I’ve been wearing an Australiandesigned Vozz helmet for a few days, and I am seriously impressed with this entirely new take on the subject of motorcycle helmets. Vozz does away with strap and buckle, and instead cradles your head like a clip-together shell. It’s great for wearers of glasses, but perhaps more to the point it makes wearing a helmet simpler.

I’ll review the Vozz helmet in detail in our next issue; in the meantime, you’re quite likely to see me riding… er, strapless.

DON’T GET ROUTED Australian-based Kiwi motorcycle shipper Dave Milligan of Get Routed has suspended shipments to the USA. He doesn’t think they’re a good idea in the light of the directions the American government is taking. Good on you for standing up for what you believe in, Dave.

Meanwhile an American mate of mine is bemoaning the fact that he didn’t react in time to Mr Trump’s election. “Why didn’t I order a few thousand Canadian flag backpack and anorak patches right away?” he writes. “They’ve always

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been popular with US kids traipsing around Europe and the rest of the world, but I bet sales have gone up out of sight!”

He has a point, of course. And now that we (or Julie Bishop et al, at least) have exposed the New Zealanders as the devious little flightless birds that they are, smuggling their citizens into our parliament, perhaps there will be a market over there for Australian flags?

Well, maybe not.

ICELAND IS COOL It’s kind of a serious place, but Iceland’s capital Reykjavik offers some light relief.

In the same newspaper that was worried about the gender balance in the local hip-hop scene there was a headline that said, “Raw sewage pours into Reykjavik waters, shitstorm ensues”.

The national food is the “ubiquitous Icelandic hot dog” which is in fact very nice, although I’m not about to speculate too seriously about the crunchy bits in the bread roll… At the Icelandair Marina hotel in Reykjavik I was presented with the piece of cod that passeth all understanding when I requested an alternative to the lamb that everyone else was having. There was almost no fish, the batter was hard enough to break teeth, and as for the chips…

One restaurant offered 20 local beers in bottles and 10 on draught, which is not bad for a country with the same

population as Blacktown. Read all about my travels there in the report starting in this issue.

If you try really hard you can make out most of what this signboard advertises.

CRIME-ARY PRODUCTION You knew all the time that New Zealand relies on primary production for much

If you want to gain the trust of evildoers, you need to blend in – and that includes your vehicle.

of its exports, right? But did you know that there was a criminal element at work out on the farms? To deal with the rural evildoers, the Unzud police has been equipped with these modern Tractors of the Law. Let the bad country cousins beware!

Peter ‘The Bear’ Thoeming

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30/8/17 8:12 pm

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*Terms and Conditions. This promotion commences at 12.00am (AEST) Thursday 14th September 2017 and closes at 11.59pm (AEST) on Wednesday 18th October 2017 (“Promotional Period”). The judging will take place at the Promoter’s premises, Suite 4b, Level 1, 11-13 Orion Rd, Lane Cove West NSW. The winner will be drawn by the Editor of Australian Motorcyclist Magazine on Thursday 19th October and will be notified by telephone or email. One entry per person will be permitted during the promotional period. Tyres up to a value of $400 must be supplied from a local Metzeler stockist and please note fitting charges apply. The winner will be drawn at random.

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THAT EXHAUST

Lester tut-tuts and then remembers WORDS Lester MOrris

in a rat-infested dungeon, escapes me. That motorcycle’s ear-splitting, he thInG couLd be heard window-smashing exhaust could surely minutes before it arrived, rattling be heard from about four suburbs away: and banging like a badly loaded if not on the moon. When the bike Simms scrap-iron truck with poor suddenly appeared, its rotund rider was suspension, the exhaust back-firing observed wearing a matt-black helmet badly when the throttle was closed which looked like it was moulded upon off to change gears or as the traffic a Victorian-era chamber-pot; he was around it became heavy. And then, after wearing tiny, matching black sunglasses, an eternity with hands clasped firmly a short leather vest flapping in the over both ears in a forlorn effort to breeze atop a bright orange tee-shirt subdue some of the noise, the source with a rude message writ large upon it. of that infernal racket finally arrived The ensemble was completed by at my left elbow. It was an antiqueregulation Jeans surmounted by a wide looking, modern-day Harley-Davidson belt with huge metal buckle and large, equipped with a pair of entirely illegal, clod-hopper boots. He wore short black aftermarket – if not home-made? – gloves which covered tightly clenched open, short megaphone exhaust pipes fists held at about the height of his blaring its spent exhaust gases to a eyebrows; a position forced upon the world which surely didn’t want to know rider by courtesy of the 24” ape-hanger anything about it. handlebars with which the bike had How the bike had managed to be probably come equipped. ridden as far as it had without its rider It was one of those newly-designed being shot, confined to the local funny Harleys whose general appearance farm or forever incarcerated, while seems to quite deliberately hark back to being hung by his elongated thumbs the early twenties. It was one of those

T

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‘softail’ bikes which look as though they have no rear suspension, its girder-like front forks a clear throw-back to a very much earlier, post-WW1 era, for the front-end employed a set of chattering, agricultural-looking (if chrome-plated) naked springs which seemed to be leaping about without restraint. The front tyre was about the same width as a cyclist’s Mountain Bike would be, the exceedingly fat-contoured, squaresection rear tyre apparently transplanted by some miracle from a 22-wheeler semi-trailer.

But it wasn’t the motorcycle, nor its apparently uncaring rider, which caught everybody’s attention: it was the shocking sound which blasted the air around us, while splitting ear-drums and cracking spectacle lenses and heavy shop-front windows alike.

I was about to start ‘tutt-tutting’ at the fearsome racket that bike blasted forth as the motorcycle howled past when I was suddenly reminded anew that I, myself, and on more than one occasion many, many moons ago, was

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equally guilty of riding the odd, overlynoisy machine. Those motorcycles were endowed with what was politely referred to in those days as either a ‘hearty’ or ‘fruity’ exhaust note.

However, I was never anywhere near as guilty of terminal noise-pollution as that large bloke on the big Harley.

The first time I was booked for excessive noise I suggest I was in no way guilty of the offence for it was quite by accident: several times thereafter I was perhaps not quite so innocent!

It happened in 1953 when I was riding a recently-registered, brand-new 500cc OHC ‘Featherbed’ International Norton at some pace through Sydney’s Centennial Park: this was the first year that the new frame was used on any of the Norton factory’s road-going machines, some four years after it was adopted for the works racing Manx Nortons. The engine itself was very noisy, for the bike’s single-cylinder, all-alloy engine rattled and banged alarmingly (which was quite normal

for that model, I might say) its hairpin springs, overhead camshaft and valvegear entirely un-enclosed. The bike came standard with a short, pearshaped, flat ‘muffler’ which was on the far side of useless when it came to damping the bike’s rasping exhaust note, the raucous noise developed by what was a well-tuned sports machine.

The engine employed a highercompression piston than its overhead valve stable-mate, the newer ES2, and was fitted standard with the AMAL 10TT race carburettor. The Inter’s muffler was the same shape and size as the mufflers which were standard equipment on the swish ‘Featherbed’ 500cc twins of the same year, but which – with just 250cc per pot to silence and an engine in a lighter state of tune - were quite adequate for the task.

It has been said that the later, swingarm ‘Inters’ were little more than a road-going version of the highly successful 1930s ‘round head’ Manx road racers, but with lights and the later

‘lay-down’ Norton gearbox with kick starter. It meant that, with the highgeared, semi-close ratio gearbox, high state of tune and ‘touchy’ TT carburettor, an International Norton often needed a good handful of throttle and some minor clutch slip if a rider was to get the bike off the mark smartly.

Of course the Police officer who stopped me didn’t know – or want to know - any of the rare bike’s chequered history, nor my explanation to him that the exhaust system was entirely standard, ex-England, which arrived from the Old Dart bolted firmly to the bike; he didn’t want to know it wasn’t my bike anyway, and… therefore, booked for excessive noise though I was, I didn’t accept the blame for that one!

There was no way of measuring the level of exhaust noise from any motor vehicle in those days, so it probably depended entirely on how sensitive, or otherwise, the ears of the arresting officer might have been. (Maybe he

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classic morris

was old, Lester? Ed). But I was booked on the spot and that was that. However, I considered myself fortunate that he hadn’t happened by earlier, for ‘excessive speed’ would also have been noted upon the entry into his wellthumbed book. For all its noise the Inter Norton was a glorious machine to ride hard, for that McCandlessdesigned, Reynolds-built, ‘Featherbed’ frame was, and I suggest remains, the finest ‘pipe-tube’ frame to have ever been built by a major motorcycle manufacturer.

However, the 500cc twin-cylinder Norton was in many ways a better machine for it was very much quieter, vibrated a whole lot less, employed the outstanding handling of the same marvellous ‘Featherbed’ frame and was in a much lighter state of tune.

Anyway, Hazell and Moore, the Norton importers for whom I was working at the time, and who were well aware of the Inter’s strident exhaust note, paid the fine while wanting to know what I was doing riding the bike through the park in the first place.

It was some five or so years later, while working at Ryde Motorcycles, that I was booked again for excessive noise and this time it was entirely my fault.

My cast-iron, ‘commuter’ 500cc BSA single had been given a new lease of life over some months with the addition of all the ‘go-fast’ bits from the very swift 500cc BSA Gold Star, plus several other ‘alterations’ which were not made

by BSA – nor, perhaps sanctioned by them, but which also were of very obvious benefit.

One of the detailed modifications was to fit a slightly larger-diameter exhaust pipe which was then carefully adjusted to the correct ‘tuned length’, the barrel of an old muffler welded onto the pipe to give the appearance of a ‘normal’ exhaust system. I then inserted an Omodeis-special, tapered ‘pepper-pot’ into the end of the tail-pipe to cut the final ‘bark’ out of the straight-through exhaust. The 200mm-long insert was located by a pair of small self- tapper screws, the heavily drilled ‘baffle’ certainly taking the edge off the noise without noticeably altering the bike’s performance.

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I was booked for noise four times with that exhaust system before I finally pelted it away.

In racing, ‘straight’ pipes are usually better for acceleration out of mediumspeed corners because of the engine’s better mid-range ‘grunt’, while megaphone exhaust systems produce more power at higher engine revs, but are less than ideal at lower engine speeds. Unlike our uncaring friend upon that large Harley, however, there was no way a motorcyclist could have lived for more than about five minutes on this Nation’s roads had a mega-exhaust system been fitted to a motorcycle back in those days!

My final modification to the BSA exhaust was to fit a brand-new Burgess ‘absorption-type’ muffler which were standard fittings on the highperformance Triumph 650 Twins. The mufflers had no baffles but absorbed a surprising amount of noise through having a full-length pepper-pot inner tube, which was ‘silenced’ by having several thick layers of a type of fibreglass material rammed in place to line the inside of the fat, barrel-shaped muffler which surrounded it. The expensive muffler was very effective, and seemed to make no difference to the bike’s performance. The heavy Burgess baffle-less muffler was copied in Australia in later years… but the fat barrels were lined in Oz with a type of asbestos material!

N.B: It ought to be mentioned that the later DB34 Gold Star BSA was fitted with a monstrous, 38mm AMAL GP carburettor and employed a swept-back exhaust pipe with a very long, tapered ‘muffler’ attached, the muffler disguising a carefully-calibrated, reverse-cone road-race megaphone inside it. If the Inter Norton was sometimes a bit hard to get off the mark, the Goldie could be a whole lot harder to get underway, especially if facing uphill or with a pillion passenger (?) aboard: its exhaust note was also well and truly on the ‘hearty’ side!

Sometime after the absorption-type muffler had been fitted I was stopped by a Police officer who suggested the BSA exhaust was still too noisy. The cop resorted to a ‘non-standard issue’

broom-stick which he dragged out of his saddlebag. He then proceeded to thrust the device energetically in and out of the muffler in a series of highlyerotic movements as he searched for the component’s non-existent baffle plates.

He apparently thought I had belted the baffle plates out of the silencer, which was very much a fashion of the times amongst some of the less caring motorcyclists. My riding mate at the time, Big Fred, briskly removed the broom-handle from the surprised officer’s grip and executed the same lascivious movements up both of the Triumph’s mufflers to demonstrate to the unknowing officer that his Triumph was also fitted with a pair of similar Burgess silencers which had no baffles anywhere within them.

I felt a grim satisfaction when Fred patiently explained the newly-designed absorption-type (baffle-less) muffler to the cop and then handed the surprised officer his tarnished broomstick by the sooty end. The officer duly took the blackened tool and placed it back in his saddle bag, subtly wiping his blackened palm upon the bulging side of his navy blue jodhpurs as he did so.

We thereupon strolled casually to our bikes and fired them up to ride off to the viciously-fast, bumpy 6.03Km (3.5 mile) Gnoo-Blas circuit at Orange to watch the week-end’s car races for a change. The open, sweeping circuit was of near-triangular shape with some very, very fast corners, one or two long straights, and two very slow first-gear corners as well. The track ran around the outside of a large mental hospital and was partly formed by using some rural roads and a local highway. World Champion Jack Brabham, who had often raced on the circuit in the past, was the star attraction at that meeting, where he was to record the first-ever 100mph lap record.

In passing, the outright lap record for open-wheelers now stands at just under 105mph average. The lap record for motorcycles at Gnoo Blas was set by Eric Hinton in 1960 on his 500cc Manx Norton – the year before the track was closed - at an average speed of just over 96mph, which was very, very quick indeed! D

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28/08/2017 8:08 pm

WHATSAYYOU

W

E LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU, the letters are among the most keenly read parts of the magazine. Please try and keep letters down to no more than 300 words. Then you can read many, not just a couple. We do reserve the right to cut them and, unless you identify yourself and at least your town or suburb and state, we will print your email address instead. Please address letters to thebear@ausmotorcyclist.com.au or Australian Motorcyclist Magazine, PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111. All opinions published here are those of the writers and we do not vouch for their accuracy or even their sanity!

HEAR AND NOW!

T

HANKS TO THE wonderful people at Rocky Creek Designs this month’s letter winner gets a set of the NoNoise Motorsport earplugs valued at $35.

To give you an idea how good they are, here’s the blurb…

Why do I need NoNoise Hearing Protectors?

Wind noise on a motorbike produces noises levels up to 105dB; levels can reach 130dB for motorsport spectators. Permanent hearing damage can occur from 85dB so it is essential always to use hearing protection.

Why are these Hearing Protectors different?

Developed over 20 years by leading experts, NoNoise MOTORSPORT Hearing Protectors are (claimed to

THEM ROADS

Greetings, Mr Bear is in Nowendoc just off Thunderbolts Way. The 80km refers to the distance back to Gloucester.

Totally correct about the roads, they are a disgrace. The problem is the state government won’t take responsibility for them and classify them as main roads.

That means the local councils have to foot the bill.

Lovely to see a road other that

be ) superior to traditional foam, wax or silicone earplugs. Precisiontuned, patented ceramic filters ensure maximum protection from dangerous levels of engine, wind and road noise. Unique filtration allows conversation, sirens and horns to remain clearly audible, with no muffled effect. NoNoise earplugs have a build-in ceramic sound filter, which forces the sound waves to pass through a ceramic filter also known as a Venturi pipe.

The Venturi effect offers the earplug a unique behaviour, it attenuates sounds only when the sound gets louder. Comfortable and suitable for all ages - ideal for bikers and other motorsport enthusiasts.

To grab a pair, or the another pair of the NoNoise range, jump onto www.rockycreekdesigns.com.au And…drum roll…here’s this month’s winner!

GET BACK ON THE HORSE!

Dear Stuart, In hospital recently and I came across your article on What Fuel, in the November 2016 issue.

It is a really interesting one. Once a motorcyclist (1949 Douglas Sports) and old age has caught up with me,

Route 66 in the USA highlighted in the magazine. Now don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of people who would be ecstatic about even getting a trip to Route 66 but there are just so many other roads to enjoy. Get off the freeways and follow the dotted green lines.

Try Alaska in summer and Texas when it’s not summer. I have yet to encounter an angry person in Alaska or a rude person in Texas, true southern hospitality and manners.

and I am now in the Queensland Citroen Car Club, and would appreciate permission to reprint your excellent article in our magazine, with appropriate recognition or any other requirement you may have.

Good luck with the magazine, Len French.

Hi Len, Hope your hospital visit is nothing too serious. Yes, the fuel article is an interesting one and of course you can reprint it with a reference to us. Hope your club finds it interesting too.

Remember, motorcycling keeps you young, so get out for a ride every now and again. ;) Cheers, Stuart.

Thanks Stuart.

Much appreciated.

Would love to feel the wind in my hair again. Something everyone should experience.

Not too sure of the balance now I am 85. Good memories.

Regards, Len. You’d be fine, mate. Get on a bike with a low seat and away you go!

Cheers, Stuart.

Neil McMeekin Currently in Gloucester Neil didn’t win the prize for spotting my location, even though he’s dead right, but we thought we’d run his letter anyway because he makes a lot of sense – The Bear A BIG THANKS

Guys, I must offer a big thanks to Kim at Grey Gum Café, there was an accident down the road with one

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W H AT S AY Y O U

of my friends recently and Kim came out to the scene to offer an amazing level of support and called 000 for us. She was especially great when me and my friends were all in a bit of shock. So, thanks to Kim and show your support to the Café by dropping in and buying some food or a coffee.

Thanks, Kent.

Kent, yes, Kim is a wonderful lady and I think you have spoken for all that have met her.

Cheers, Stuart.

GET ONE!

Hi Bear, I bought a copy of your pub writer’s book, Pub Yarns and thoroughly enjoyed it. It is also a great coffee table book which sits in my office for clients to read. I can recommend it to all fellow readers.

Thanks, Nigel Hi Nigel, that’s great to hear. If anyone is interested in buying a copy, visit https://nothing-but-the-pub.myshopify. com/ and pay the very reasonable cost of only $29.99 or $34.99 if you’d like it signed by Colin himself - The Bear.

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LOVED IT

for the others, best if you don’t call them motorcycles at all. I look at them as works of art, not bikes. Simple: then I don’t get annoyed by them. And let’s face it, it’s only a matter of time before the fad moves on and something else gets customised.

Anyone for ‘real fridges aren’t bought, they’re made’? Ha ha ha.

Snigger, Belrose NSW

MEDIATE MEDIA

I like the idea of looking at highly customised bikes as works of art, Snigger. And I also like the idea of only calling these ‘motorcycles’, motorcycles if they are rideable – The Bear

G’day team, I wanted to say how much I enjoyed the overview of the budget tourers article in the last issue (#55). Not all of us have tons of money to buy the latest tourer and knowing what is available and is reliable is a great help.

Thanks again, John.

Hello, Bear.

I’m the first of your readers to support most of the things Boris writes about, and I find him highly entertaining. His shot at the social media reach of some of the ignorant commentariat in the most recent issue is an example. These twits might have a big following on the web, but how many of their followers are actually motorcyclists, or more importantly people who buy and ride motorcycles? I also sort of agree with his insistence that café racers have not ‘returned’; but there are a few shed-built bikes out there that look good and would make excellent Sunday afternoon café machines. They’re true to the concept, and they are rideable. As

STAYING UPRIGHT

I read in the last issue about improving your riding. I too, as Stuart mentioned have used Stay Upright in the past and found the courses invaluable. I really think they have made massive improvements to my riding and can recommend them to anyone.

Thanks, Simon.

Great to hear, Simon.

Cheers, Stuart.

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30/8/17 8:11 pm

IS IT JUST ME?

Stu, Bear & Ralph, Guys, is it just me or has the traffic got worse lately?

I commute most days on my Bandit 1200 and have found lately that car and truck drivers aren’t looking out for motorcyclists. I have nearly been hit a number of times in the last month and wondering if anyone else is experiencing the same phenomena?

Regards, Jackson Hi Jackson, Ralph has had a couple of near misses with people changing lanes right on top of him, so you have one of us agreeing with you!

Cheers, Stuart.

WE’LL DRINK TO THAT

Hi, Bear.

I know you don’t much like the wowsers who are now targeting us with nonsense like ‘passive drinking’ and other anti-alcohol messages to make us feel as if we’re doing damage with every glass of red we consume.

Well, here’s one in the eye for them. The August issue of the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease reports on a study that draws a very different conclusion.

‘Older adults who consume alcohol moderately on a regular basis are more likely to live to the age of 85 without dementia or other cognitive impairments than non-drinkers, according to a University of California San Diego School of Medicine-led study.

‘Previous studies have found a correlation between moderate alcohol intake and longevity. “This study is unique because we considered men and women’s cognitive health at late age and found that alcohol consumption is not only associated with reduced mortality, but with greater chances of remaining cognitively healthy into older age,” said senior author Linda McEvoy, PhD, an associate professor at UC San Diego School of Medicine.

‘In particular, the researchers found that among men and women 85 and older, individuals who consumed “moderate to heavy” amounts of alcohol five to seven days a week were twice as likely to be cognitively healthy than non-drinkers. Cognitive health was assessed every four years over the course of the 29year study, using a standard dementia screening test known as the Mini Mental State Examination.’

So while the wowsers will be wandering around the mental ward when they get old, you and I will still be out on our motorcycles!

Here’s cheers, Linda St Croix, SA Hi, Linda, and thank you for that quote. I’ve looked up the study, and I might even do a more detailed story about it – The Bear D

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Ninja 1000 ABS Ninja ZX-10R KRT Ninja ZX-10R ABS Ninja ZX-10R ABS KRT Ninja ZX-10RR Ninja ZX-14R ABS Ninja ZX-14R Ohlins 1400GTR H2 H2 Carbon Cruiser Vulcan S ABS Vulcan S ABS SE Vulcan 900 Classic Vulcan 900 Custom Vulcan 1700 Vaquero ABS Adv Touring Versys X KLR650 Versys 1000 ABS

$16,299 $22,700 $23,700 $23,900 $27,300 $19,999 $22,099 $24,999 $34,000 $40,400 $10,099 $10,299 $12,499 $12,499 $24,499 $6399 $8199 $15,999

KTM

www.ktm.com.au Road RC 390 390 Duke 690 Duke R 690 SMC R 1290 Super Duke R 1290 Super Duke GT Adv Touring 690 Enduro R 1090 Adventure R 1290 Super Adv S 1290 Super Adv R

$6495 $6995 $14,995 $14,695 $24,995 $26,995 $14,695 $19,955 $23,995 $25,995

KYMCO

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$2095 $5295 $2595 $2995 $2799 $3395

Downtown 300i ABS

$7495

V9 Bobber V9 Roamer Cruiser Cali Audace Carbon Cali 1400 Eldorado Cali 1400 Touring SE MGX-21

$15,190 $15,190

Continental GT Adv Touring Himalayan

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MV AGUSTA

www.mvagusta.com.au Road Brutale 675 F3 675 F3 675 RC Brutale 800 Brutale 800 RR Brutale 800 Dragster Brutale 800 Dragster RR F3 800 F3 800 RC Stradale 800 Turismo Veloce 800 Turismo Veloce Lusso 800 Brutale 1090 Brutale 1090 RR Brutale 1090 Corsa F4 F4 RR F4 RC

$15,799 $18,699 $20,999 $18,699 $19,999 $20,499 $23,499 $19,999 $23,490 $19,999 $20,499 $23,499 $19,999 $22,999 $27,999 $24,499 $33,999 $55,880

PIAGGIO

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$2790 $3490 $3790 $5290 $9790 $8190 $9490 $9,990

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MOTO GUZZI

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$12,990 $13,990 $16,490 $16,990

Road Classic 350 Bullet 500 Classic 500 Classic Desert Storm Classic Battle Green Classic Squadron Blue Classic Chrome

$5590 $7490 $7790 $7790 $7790 $7790 $7990

$8590 $5990

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$4999 $6999

SUZUKI

www.suzukimotorcycles.com.au Road GSX-R125 Inazuma 250 TU250X GSX250R DR-Z400SM GSX-R600 SV650 GSX-S750 GSX-R750 GSX-S1000 GSX-S1000F GSX-R1000 GSX-R1000R GSX1300R Hayabusa Cruiser Boulevard S40 Boulevard C50T Boulevard C90 Boulevard M109R Boulevard M109R Blk Adv Touring DR200S DR650SE V-Strom 650 V-Strom 650 LAMS V-Strom 650 XT V-Strom 1000 V-Strom 1000 XT V-Strom 1000 GT Scooter Address Burgman 200 ABS Burgman 650 ABS

$TBA $4990 $5990 $5790 $8990 $14,990 $8990 $11,490 $15,990 $14,990 $15,790 $21,990 $25,490 $19,290 $7990 $10,990 $15,490 $18,990 $19,490 $4990 $8090 $10,990 $10,290 $11,490 $15,490 $16,490 $18,490 $2490 $5490 $13,590

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30/8/17 7:46 pm

SM 650 R Adv Touring Superdual

$9490 $9990

SYM

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$2499 $2499 $2999 $2999 $4699 $5999 $6299

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TRIUMPH

www.triumphmotorcycles.com.au *Some Triumph prices are ride away Road Street Triple S 660 Street Triple S Street Triple R Street Triple RS Daytona 675 Daytona 675 R Bonneville Street Twin Bonne Street Cup Street Scrambler Bonne T100 Bonne T100 Black Bobber Bonneville T120 Bonneville T120 Black

$18,700 $21,100 $17,550 $18,500 $20,900

URAL

TORINO CRUISER Aviata 250 Cruiser Veloce 250 Scooter Famosa 125 Famosa 150 Galetta Retro Aero MkII Messina Classic

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$12,800 $13,800 $15,850 $17,550 $14,990 $16,990 $13,700 $15,600 $15,900 $15,300 $15,300 $18,000 $17,200 $17,200

cT cT Dark Force Adv Touring Tourist Retro/M70 Ranger

$21,780 $24,850 $23,760 $24,970 $24,970

VESPA

www.vespa.com.au Scooter Primavera 125 3V Primavera 150 3V Sprint 150 3V Sprint 150 3V SE GTS 150 3V PX150 PX150 Touring 946 Bellissima 946 Armani GTS250ie FL GTS300 Super GTS300 Super Sport

$5590 $6290 $6390 $6490 $6290 $6490 $6790 $12,490 $14,990 $7890 $9190 $9490

YAMAHA www.yamaha-motor.com.au Road YZF-R15

$4299

MT-03

$5799

R3

$6299

R3 SP

$6399

SR400

$8099

YZF-R6

$17,499

MT-07 LA

$9999

MT-07 HO

$10,599

MT-07 Tracer

$12,299

XSR700 LA

$10,999

MT-09

$12,299

XSR900

$12,999

MT-09 Tracer

$15,499

MT-10

$18,499

MT-10SP

$21,499

YZF-R1

$23,999

YZF-R1 SP

$24,999

YZF-R1M

$31,999

XJR1300

$14,499

FJR1300

$24,999

FJR1300AE

$27,999

Cruiser Virago

$6799

V Star 650 Custom

$10,799

V Star 650A Classic

$11,299

Star Bolt

$11,999

Star Bolt C-Spec Cafe

$12,699

SCR950

$TBA

V Star 950

$13,999

XVS1300 Stryker

$15,499

XVS1300 Stryker SE

$16,099

V Star 1300

$15,999

Roadliner

$21,799

Roadliner Tourer

$24,399

Adv Touring XT250

$6299

Tenere

$13,999

Super Tenere

$19,999

Super Tenere ESP

$21,999

Scooter

VIPER MOTORCYCLES www.vipermotors.com.au Road Black Diamond Diamond Back

$54,990 $54,990

BeeWee 125

$3399

NMAX

$4199

Tricity

$4299

Tricity ABS

$4699

XP530 TMAX ABS

$13,999

Motorcycle Insurance Specialists Made possible by

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

AMM_56.indd 111

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30/8/17 7:46 pm

BEARFACED

BUYING A BIKE BY SEX T

HERE IS PROBABLY nothing new about this, and perhaps long dissertations and doctoral theses have been written about it. But I’ve just discovered – or rather finally put together – the fact that blokes like to get things done. In particular, when they walk into a shop they like to walk out with something they’ve bought. I won’t embarrass myself by going into detail about the recent occasion that has led to this conclusion, but I thought I’d share the conclusion itself with you.

I know that the bloke from Google who wrote a memo about the differences between women and men got into a heap of trouble, but I think I can get away with this one. Women seem to me to be quite happy to wander into any number of shops to see if they can find whatever it might be they want. They are even prepared to go home at the end of a long day without having bought anything. I imagine this can be frustrating for shop assistants (if there are any left), and I know that it is frustrating for male partners (of the shoppers, not the shop assistants). But it tends to mean that when women buy something, it is what they wanted.

Not so men. If the first shop we enter doesn’t have exactly what we want, we are likely to buy the next best thing and leave the premises feeling more or less contented that we’ve fulfilled our task.

Bunnings must be delighted with this, but the result is that

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frequently we haven’t done that at all. I went into a bike shop once to buy a commuter/weekend tourer and emerged with a Royal Enfield Clubman Super Sports 250.

This was not even close to either a commuter or a tourer, although I used it as both for a year or so and suffered grievously for my stupidity. Don’t get me wrong, it was a lovely motorcycle, one of the last British clubman racers before the Japanese took over that category so convincingly. But it was uncomfortable, unreliable and subject to moods which saw it drop its gearbox in Kangaroo Valley, among other things. It also had a constant loss electrical system.

Yes, by Joe Lucas, the Prince of Darkness.

But I had seen it with its nickelplated Spondon frame and half fairing, had thought “geez, I wouldn’t mind one of those” and then failed to find exactly what I was looking for. So I’d bought the Enfield instead.

Not that women’s fastidiousness always works out. The story goes, and I do not vouch for this, that when the Australian Army needed a general utility motorcycle – courier duties and such – the preferred details were given to a female procurement

officer. She checked around and finally ordered… no, wait, I’ve just realised what several females of my acquaintance, including Mrs Bear and my daughters, would do to me if I completed this story.

Sorry, but survival comes first.

In my experience, women don’t suffer from the ‘bigger is better’ syndrome that affects so many male riders, in Australia (particularly) and elsewhere in the world. They seem to concentrate more on practicalities such as the ability of their feet to reach the ground, than men who are likely to be impressed by times around Phillip Island. I’ve long thought that that was the reason why Germany, with its large percentage of women riders, favoured medium capacity bikes. Suzuki’s GS500 was the best seller in the German market for many years. But then BMW’s big GS models became the favourites, so – so much for that theory.

As for women and men being different in any number of other ways: I think pronouncements like that of the bloke from Google miss a vital point. Sure you can point to sex-based differences (yes, ‘sex’ is the correct word there; ‘gender’ is a grammatical concept not a physical one), but it’s wise to remember that these overlap. I clearly recall a young woman employed by Milledge Yamaha in Melbourne who rode rings around most male MX riders, while certain males (like me, for instance) should not even be allowed near an MX bike.

What does this all leave us with?

When the rider in front of you at the pub removes their helmet and turns out to be female, you can be sure that the bike she’s riding is exactly the one she wanted. D

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30/8/17 8:17 pm

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31/08/2017 8:14 pm

BORIS

A CROSS I CANNOT BEAR K INGS CROSS WAS once one of my favourite places on Earth.

On a hot summer night, with the fire of youth in my belly and a stroked Shovel that sounded like an artillery barrage when I cracked the throttle, there was no finer place to ride to than Cross.

It had everything.

Smacked-out whores, blowsy strippers, buck’s night bogans, hen’s night molls, ethnic gangsters, one percenters, wannabe one percenters, corrupt cops, homeless lunatics, and on-leave servicemen from a dozen countries.

And of course, venues the like of which will never be seen again.

No other so-called “entertainment” district in Australia could ever, or would ever, approach the Cross. It was truly Australia’s epicentre of shit, sin and shenanigans.

It’s very hard to explain what the place was like in the Eighties to people who have gone there in 2017 and wondered what the big deal was.

The perverted clero-fascists of the NSW state government and its monastic police have overseen the end of the Cross (and pretty much any and all nightlife in Sydney) and it’s always pointless to cry over spilled milk.

So I’m not crying.

I am reminiscing. And I am reminiscing about my three favourite joints…

The nights I spent in the Manzil Room (rechristened Springfields in 1990, but also lovingly referred to as the Mongrel Room and the Mandrax Room), blessed drug-caked rock-midden that it was, were simply unforgettable – even though substance abuse has left big holes in my recollections.

Tucked away just off the main drag and within diagonal staggering distance of Les Girls (for when you simply had to top your evening

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off drinking with and being insulted by glamorous transvestites), the Manzil Room was one of those places that will live forever in the souls of those who wandered through its doors. You couldn’t eat its food (which was only available so the liquor licence could exist), and you dared not ever collapse onto the diseased gluey carpet. And if your ears weren’t ringing and it wasn’t dawn when you staggered back to your bike, you had done it wrong.

Home to dissolute post-gig Aussie rock stars fried on cheap speed and cheaper bourbon, it was one of the greatest pick-up joints on earth. The giddy, miniskirted girls ploughing their way through vodka-oranges, were easily convinced you were with some band, even if your only association was that you too had a mullet. The inter-gender lies told in that narrow, loud, smoke-dense atmosphere were beyond criminal, but righteously glorious.

Around the corner was another fabled den of depravity, the Persian Room. You went down the stairs and into a very different vibe from the Manzil. This was disco just when disco was gaining traction. But it was also gangsters, whores and drug-dealers, and this made the Persian Room the must-visit Kings Cross hang-out if you were none of those things, but keen to have some of their dangerous glamour rub off on you. Strobing lights, small tables with real table-cloths were arranged so you could look down through ridiculous Moorish arches onto the sunken dance-floor, usually heaving with dancing girls, which was the brightest section of the club.

The rest of it was cloaked in tense conspiratorial darkness.

There were other discos in Sydney at the time – the flashy up-itself Pips, the

exclusive and also up-itself Safs, and the hugely up-itself, but very impressive-forthe-big-date Juliana’s at the Hilton Hotel in the city – but none of them came close to the Satanic thrum and potential peril of the Persian Room. The chances of being stabbed to death in the toilets were always very good. The only place that ever came close to its iniquity was the short-lived and cavernous Creole out at Bondi, but any place that openly sold amyl nitrate at a counter near the front door, was bound to be a laugh.

Then there was the Bourbon and Beefsteak, standing proudly as the ne plus ultra of Kings Cross venues. It had it all. Danger, depravity, good food, and a row of open-window seats from which you could view the feverish street as you necked oysters and overheard six different conversations in just as many languages at nearby tables. It also had a maitre’d who was the epitome of grace – he treated the most bestial tattooed bikie and his slutprincess girlfriend exactly the same as he treated the bloke in the tuxedo with the supermodel on his arm.

Part restaurant, where only the finest and most corrupt NSW police officers dined and drank for free, and part music venue where you could just as easily get glassed by a visiting sailor as cop some wild headjob in the toilets from a girl you met at the downstairs bar, the Bourbon was a place you had to have a bit of money to spend to really have a good time in. Gamblers, pimps and foreigners are always a heady mix, and the Bourbon was where the best of those cocktails were made.

But they are no more. Sure, the Bourbon is still there, but it’s now some kind of ID-scanning, trendo-pubdroid thing priding itself on its wood accents and geometric-tiled floor.

The rest are gone. It’s entirely pointless to ride up there, even though there’s lots of room to park on Darlinghurst Road these days.

The Cross is nothing but a hollow corpse of what it once was.

And we’re all much safer as a result, so I suppose that’s great. D

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26/8/17 1:39 pm

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OCTOBER 2017

R6 / G 310 R / GUZZI V7 / FJR1300AE / MONSTER 1200 S / ICELAND / VIETNAM WITH US / CONTI RA 3

ISSUE #8, VOL 5