Australian Motorcyclist Issue #50

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WE HELP YOU TO MAKE YOUR BIKE MEGA!

n a i l a r t Aus

7 APRIL 201

O E: TEARID S IN E E FR

we

test

U T AU S T

R A L IA

T RCYCLE N M OTO

3 best:

R AV E L M

IDE BEAR INS

AP

MT-09 of the YAMAHA’S TMAX, TOP SCOOTER

SHOCK:

KAWASAKI’S NEW NINJA 1000

COMPULSORY LIQUID COOLING RULING!

TEAR-OUT MAP:

SOUTH AUSTRALIA’S SEASHORE

WATCH THIS:

CLASSY CUSTOM

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340798 000228

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AUS $9.95 (Inc GST) NZ $10.95 (Inc GST)

THE WORLD’S BEST ROADS, RELAX IN QUEENSLAND, HAVE A JOIN US RIDE BEER IN YARAKA (WHERE?), CROSS THE BLUE MOUNTAINS, DISCOVER AS WE: VICTORIA’S SECRET... BUT MAYBE STAY AWAY FROM SLOVAKIA LESTER MORRIS, BORIS, THE BEAR AND THE COMING CHINESE INVASION – PLUS LOTS MORE

Kodiak Jacket The Kodiak was designed to handle the 700 km days, sketchy mountain passes, and constant passing storms that typically accompany an epic touring adventure.

Carlsbad Jacket

Ladies Altitude Jacket

The Carlsbad was conceived of the need for KLIM® provides the female rider with the highly mobile, highly vented and minimized best in material selection, craftsmanship, fit bulk adventure gear – all while maintaining and style with the Altitude Jacket.

KLIM’s highest abrasion resistance and GORE-TEX® weatherproof technology, durability standards. high-tech armor coverage, intelligent reflective—it’s all here.

D E R GEFOAR INTER! W GET

Badlands Jacket Aggressor Shirt 3.0

Stow Away Jacket

KLIM®’s heaviest base layer ‘s Thermal Mapping Construction combines the features of three fabrics in one garment to deliver maximum warmth while promoting an extremely dry ride.

A fully functional and capable non-insulated GORE-TEX® shell ready for ultra light excursions. The STOW AWAY is waterproof and windproof, stow it on your handlebars or in your luggage and throw it on when the weather gets grey.

An everyday jacket or just in case.

NEW BADLANDS COLOUR for 2017.

The build and quality remains the same but now with Black/Tan

DROP IN AND SEE US AT: UNIT 1/915 OLD NORTHERN ROAD, DURAL, NSW 2158 MONDAY-FRIDAY 9.00AM - 5.30PM SATURDAY 9.00AM - 1.00PM 1300 466 686 adventuremoto.com.au

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“TEACH US DELIGHT IN SIMPLE THINGS, AND MIRTH THAT HAS NO BITTER SPRINGS.” RUDYARD KIPLING, PUCK OF POOK’S HILL

CONTENTS

LET YOUR WHEELS SHINE PAGE 18

SPECIAL FEATURE MAKE YOUR BIKE BETTER No matter how good it is, it can be improved

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TESTING YAMAHA MT-09 LAUNCH The most bang for your buck. Fire away!

KAWASAKI NINJA 1000 Our favourite assassin gets even sharper YAMAHA TMAX Bold claims here, but we back them up

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TRAVEL TOP TOURS Ride the best roads in the world with us PUB OF THE MONTH You haven’t heard of Yaraka?

You will, you will READER RIDE: CENTRAL EUROPE Things go wrong. Things go very wrong POSTIE NOTES 13 Enjoying the high life in Queensland’s tourist paradise READER RIDE: A SYDNEY LOOP Over the mountains and south we go VICTORIA’S SECRET Are you ready for the You Yangs?

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EVENTS THE ISLAND CLASSIC We came, we saw, we had technical problems

JUST WATCH THIS. PAGE 94

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A CLASSIC ISLAND CLASSIC. PAGE 72

TEAR-OUT MAP SOUTH AUSTRALIA A long ride by the sea

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TECHNICAL WHICH BIKE FOR YOU? It comes down to a very simple choice. Kind of

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CONTENTS

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USED & REVIEWED Starboy meets Bagman

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NEW IN THE SHOPS As usual, stuff to spend your hard-earned

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WORLD’S BEST CUSTOM BIKE You’ve heard someone say “It runs like a watch.” Well…

AND THE REST

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IMPRINT/EDITORIAL Will it be a job or the track? Sadly…

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GRIZZLING Not only in America – are bikes on the way out?

FINE CHINA Get ready for a serious Chinese invasion WHERE’S THE BEAR? They sought him here, they sought him there

CLASSIC MORRIS Lester goes racing – on four wheels!

WHAT SAY YOU? Have your say, then plug your ears – on us PRICE LIST We take the work out of checking on the cost BEAR FACED Follow me as I buy a 441. No, a 250 ADVERTISER LISTING Here’s where you discover who loves ya, baby BORIS A gentle, kindly story… no, sorry, hang on

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NINJA FOR THE OPEN ROAD. PAGE 38

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JOIN THE BEAR IN UNZUD Last chance for the South Island ride of the year FILM REVIEW Three weeks of biking, from seat 24H

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NEWS Shock horror! Check it out!

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Australian Motorcyclist

Australian Motorcyclist Magazine

Australian Motorcyclist Magazine

@AusMotrCyclist

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PLEASE ENJOY AUSTRALIAN MOTORCYCLIST MAGAZINE RESPONSIBLY AND ADD THIS ISSUE TO YOUR COLLECTION. MOST BACK ISSUES ARE STILL AVAILABLE; JUST VISIT THE WEBSITE WWW.AUSMOTORCYCLIST.COM.AU OR DROP US A LINE TO CONTACTUS@AUSMOTORCYCLIST.COM.AU. AND HAVE FUN. 8

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www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

2/03/2017 10:19 am

Iconic Z900 name re-born.

A cutting edge rider-focused Supernaked with a sublime balance of power and handling. The tubular trellis frame houses a willing and responsive 4-cylinder engine while the styling and rider experience reflect a refined and raw feeling that only Z riders can experience. » Sublime 948cm3 in-line four » Exhilarating intake howl » Ultra-lightweight frame » Comfortable, low seat height » Aggressive Z family styling » Racing inspired Assist and Slipper clutch

Pearl Mystic Grey

kawasakiaus

@kawasakimotors

For more information visit www.kawasaki.com.au

Always ride responsibly. Always ride within the limits of your skills, your experience and your machine. Wear an approved helmet and protective clothing. The actions depicted here took place under controlled conditions with professional riders.

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EDITORSPEAKS Editor Stuart Woodbury Editor Emeritus J Peter Thoeming Sales Manager Ralph Leavsey-Moase ralph@ausmotorcyclist.com.au Photo Editor Nick Wood Designer Amy Hale Photographers Nick Wood Photography, Half-Light Photography Contributors Robert Crick, Mike Grant, Jacqui Kennedy, Robert Lovas, Phil Gadd, Boris Mihailovic, Lester Morris, The Possum,Guy Stanford, Stuart Strickland, Michael Walley, Colin Whelan Editorial contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com.au Subscription enquiries www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au info@ausmotorcyclist.com.au 0412 220 680 or 0418 421 322 Printer PRINTED IN AUSTRALIA Distributor Gordon and Gotch Australian Motorcyclist Magazine is published by Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111 Phone 0412 220 680 or 0418 421 322.

This publication is copyright. Other than for the purposes of research, study, criticism, review, parody or satire and subject to the conditions prescribed under the Copyright Act 1968, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted without the prior written permission of Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. Opinions expressed within this publication do not necessarily represent those of Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. No responsibility is accepted by Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd or the editor for the accuracy of any statement, opinion or advice contained in the text or advertisements. Readers should rely on their own enquiries in making decisions tailored to their own interest. *Recommended retail price Copyright © Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd ACN 161 432 506 ISSN 2201-5442

We encourage you to keep or recycle this magazine.

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The words of wisdom just bubble forth. True.

I

t’s been quite a long time since I’ve sold a motorcycle. I’m talking well over ten years so when I recently advertised the MT-07 on Bikesales and didn’t get any ’phone calls I was a little surprised. I’m used to someone calling you, talking about the bike and deciding if they want to come and look at it from there. The bike was immaculate and has more bling than a Cartier boutique in Milan! I had it very well priced compared to the other MT-07s advertised at the same time, so when I was only receiving texts and a couple of emails I just thought it was the usual tyre kickers. It wasn’t until I was talking to my mate, Mav who works for Bikesales that he said, “Yeah, that’s how vehicles are sold nowadays…via text”!

I got a text from one guy who said his son, “Needs and wants this bike”, I only made the connection with the ‘son’ and his dad once I was paid for the bike.

The new owner is a young bloke who had only just got his Learners a matter of days beforehand and used to race dirt bikes a couple of years ago until work killed that idea. I too remember that time of a young person’s life, where starting work overtakes those money chewing sports. I was quite a good road race cyclist and had quite a bright future in front of me had my parents had the money to fund me to go to Europe, but, as they say, “everything happens for a reason” and had I gone and raced in Europe I no doubt would have been forced to take performance enhancing drugs as all of the racers did back then, so I’m glad it didn’t happen. My coach at the time was very disappointed that I didn’t continue racing bicycles, but same as the young guy that bought the MT-07, earning money and starting your trade or working career takes priority. Cars, motorbikes and girls took over for me and the rest is history. Hahaha!

Now that I’ve sold the MT-07 I’m in a quandary, what do I buy to replace it? I have wanted a late nineties CBR900RR for quite a while – there’s just something about those wacky colour schemes that

has still got my attention, but trying to find one in good enough condition that fits my budget that is heavily reduced from what I got for the MT-07, (due to a family holiday that’s been booked) has been quite hard. At the time of writing (only a couple of weeks before you are reading this) I have been to look at a couple of bikes I thought would fit the bill and I’m talking with one guy in Victoria who has a CBR929RR (a later, 2001 model) that I think could be the right bike for me – no wacky colours though. The 929 comes with a seventeen inch front wheel versus the sixteen inch front of the early Blades and it’s fuel injected which makes life much easier. I already spend massive amounts of time on the race bikes and I know that if I’ve got another bike with carbies, I’ll be tinkering!

As I mentioned before, ‘everything happens for a reason’; TT racer, Alex who you’ve read about many times among these pages was due to ride the beastly FZR1000 featured in the last issue at the upcoming International Festival of Speed, but he too has just got a new job and is on a three month probation, which takes in the IFoS. Alex was quite nervous to tell me that he can’t risk racing at this meeting due to the probation, risk of getting hurt and so on, well, that is what his dad, Chris was telling me so of course I played on it razzing Alex up until I started laughing. He was quite relieved that I understood. Having some fun versus getting a well-paid, secure job – it is quite easy to see which way to go, plus, one thing that has happened to the FZR is that we’ve found a dodgy bearing inside the engine somewhere, so I don’t want to keep running it and risk any damage. The engine is coming out to be stripped to fix the bearing. A big pain in the backside, but I’m glad I’ve found it now. I’m sure one day I’ll have some luck, so let’s see how I go on my CBR900RR at the IFoS, hopefully onto the podium after sitting in third for the last three years and having issues to deal with.

Enjoy your riding and hopefully by next month I’ve got a new bike!

Cheers, Stuart.

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

23/02/2017 2:03 pm

BMW Motorrad

The F 800 GS Adventure is the ultimate mid-sized adventure tourer, built to take on whatever you throw at it. The Adventure comes standard with ABS, heated grips and centre stand; options include ASC, ESA and riding modes (Enduro and Enduro Pro). Plus, for a limited time you will also receive a bonus BMW Navigator V GPS unit. Book a test ride today at bmwmotorrad.com.au

BONUS GPS,

$1,200 VALUE.*

*Offer includes MY17 F 800 GS Adventure models with 2016 compliance plates. All motorcycles must be ordered and delivered between 1 January and 31 March 2017. Offer only applies at participating BMW Motorrad dealers while stocks last and cannot be combined with any other offer. Bonus Navigator cannot be redeemed for cash. Excludes fleet, government and rental buyers. Consult your participating BMW Motorrad dealer for further details. BMW Group Australia reserves the right to change or extend the offer.

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23/02/2017 11:41 am

FROMTHEBEAR

GRIZZLING

One way to keep motorcyclists safe: make them ride inside a cage!

FIRST THING WE DO, LET’S KILL ALL THE DOGS

T

hose wild and crazy guys at the U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) have climbed on the Vision Zero bandwagon. You know, the program designed to reduce traffic fatalities to zero. Here’s the e-newsletter Cyril Huze Report’s take on this; you will note that the unavoidable action of banning motorcycles (and killing all the dogs) completely to achieve this is carefully skirted in the report. Huze says: (DOT has) unveiled a new initiative dedicated to eliminating all traffic-related deaths in thirty years. “Road to Zero” is the concept that achieving zero trafficrelated deaths is achievable through new policies and solutions. First initiated in Sweden in 1997 as “Vision Zero”, the program has been adopted by many European (countries). The U.S. version made progress (recently) with the holding of a symposium and invited speakers to discuss the challenges and choices with the concept. The event also offered participants the opportunity to partake in “breakout sessions” to discuss proposed actions on how to achieve the lofty goal.

The only entity representing the motorcycle community present at the symposium was the Motorcycle Riders Foundation’s Vice-President of Government Affairs, Megan Ekstrom.

Ekstrom was invited to participate in one of the breakout sessions focused on how to create a safer environment for other roadway users with modes of transportation outside of traditional automobiles. Working directly with DoT officials, Ekstrom emphasized the need to prevent crashes rather than concepts focused on how to have “safer” crashes.

Specifically, she addressed the need for additional training and awareness programs for other drivers teaching them strategies on how to be alert, identify, react and interact with motorcyclists on the road. She suggested that this could be achieved by targeting education towards new drivers on the road and even encompassed in driver education programs as well as included as part

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of the testing for drivers’ licensing requirements. These sorts of activities and strategies could help to make motorcyclists safer on the nation’s roadways and help contribute to achieving Road to Zero’s goals.

Other participants in the coalition emphasized alternative approaches; most centered around how to crash ‘safer’ rather than to avoid crashing.

Dr. Grant Baldwin, Director of the Division of Unintentional Injury Prevention at the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control within the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) spoke to participants touting the requirement of universal

As usual with the Cyril Huze report, the best bits are in the responses from readers. Here’s a choice.

Chris says: “I can think of a bunch of draconian measures that will reduce deaths while simultaneously making motorcycle riding about as much fun as a day trip to the shopping mall while carrying a slot machine. Looking for ways to reduce highway fatalities is a positive thing, but setting a goal of zero deaths is fantasy… Since I don’t like to complain without offering some sort of solution, let me give it a try. After making helmets mandatory, let’s slaughter, wipe out, drive to extinction, all species of animals that may run into the roadway and cause an accident. If zero is the goal, this seems reasonable enough.”

And more or less along the same lines, CWGLIDE says: “A goal of ZERO related deaths, really??? In 2010, the latest year for which there are national statistics, 403 people were killed in motorcycle accidents involving deer, one of the lowest totals in three decades... The deer population is exploding in part due to lack We’ve seen a lot of motorcycle-based fire of predators. In 1930 the US white-tailed deer population was down to about vehicles, but this one offers something 300,000. Today, estimates of how special: electric shocks can be applied to many there are range as high as the rider’s genitals if he isn’t quick enough! about 30 million.” helmet laws as one of the Agency’s key Finally, Nicker reckons among other recommendations in achieving zero things that the gummint should target traffic deaths. drivers and: “…outlaw automatic As the Road to Zero initiative moves transmissions, making driving increasingly forward over the next few months, too complicated a task for today’s average there will undoubtedly be opportunities moron to even contemplate… Clearly to shape the program in different ways. engineering every task to pander to the For the Motorcycle Riders Foundation, lowest common intellectual denominator their emphasis will be focused on how isn’t working…” to prevent crashes between motorcycles You’ve got to love the Americans. Well, and automobiles and measures that can maybe except the DOT. be taken suggesting that education and awareness to prevent crashes Peter ‘The Bear’ is the preferred strategy for the Thoeming motorcycle community.

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

24/02/2017 1:56 pm

3.99%

COMPARISON RATE*

MY15 KTM 1290 SUPER DUKE R PURE NAKED BEAUTY *Credit provided by BOQ Credit Pty Limited ABN 92 080 151 266 (BOQC) (Australian Credit Licence Number 393331) trading as KTM SportMotorcycle Finance. BOQC is a wholly owned subsidiary of Bank of Queensland Limited ABN 32 009 656 740 (BOQ).

BOQ does not guarantee or otherwise support the obligations or performance of BOQC or the products it offers. Fees and charges are payable. BOQC’s standard credit assessment criteria apply. This offer is available to approved applicants who finance new 2015/2016 KTM 1190 & 1290 Models – during 01/02/2017 and 31/03/2017. The rate of 3.99% pa is applicable on a 36 month term consumer loan agreement, fees and charges are payable. The comparison rate is 3.99% pa and is calculated on a loan amount of $10,000 for a term of 36 months. These rates are for secured loans only. WARNING: This comparison rate is true only for the examples given and may not include all fees and charges. Different terms, fees or other loan amounts might result in a different comparison rate. Interest rates quoted are indicative only and are subject to change without notice. Full terms and conditions available at authorised, participating KTM SportMotorcycle Finance dealerships.

Cashback offer only applies to new MY15 KTM 1290 Super Duke R models.

KTM Group Partner

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23/02/2017 11:43 am

NEWS

SHIPS AHOY!

OUTRAGE!

All bikes to be water cooled by 2018!

In a move to reduce the environmental impact of combustion-engined two-wheelers, the powers that be in this country will be introducing a rule that all motorcycles, regardless of age will have to be water cooled. Retro kits will be available for purchase with the cut off for compliance being April 1 2018. The Federal Government spokesman mentioned that they are not concerned with the history of motorcycles that were never made to cope with water cooling, rather that motorcycles need to be environmentally friendly. AMM got a pre-release water cooled kit and trial fitted it to our long term HarleyDavidson 72 Sportster.

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WOW heads for the water Australia’s longest established motorcycle tour operator, World On Wheels (WOW), is diversifying in perhaps a surprising new direction. Operating for 20+ years as Ferris Wheels Motorcycle Safaris, the company boldly undertook a corporate name change in 2016 to become WOW. Owners Mike and Denise Ferris said the change was long overdue and with the new name and logo have come new opportunities - the acronym WOW also lends itself rather nicely to World On Water, another new business name the couple has recently registered.

“The biking fraternity tends to be a very active sector of the community,” says Mike. “We have noticed many times over the years that a significant number of our clientele, as well as riding bikes well into their later years,

also enjoy other outdoor pursuits such as sailing. And it just so happens that several of our international motorcycling destinations also offer superb coastal waters for learning the ropes, as it were.

“Imagine riding our Dalmatian Delights safari, where we explore Slovenia, Bosnia, Montenegro, Albania, and finish in Croatia on the Adriatic coast. We hand back the motorcycle keys in Dubrovnik and jump aboard our traditional wooden gulet for a further week, sailing through the stunning Croatian islands”.

Sound like fun? The inaugural WorldOnWheels / WorldOnWater tour of the Dalmatian coast is scheduled for September 2017.

Details can be found on the website, www.WorldOnWheels.tours

DARK KING

H-D Road King Special Harley-Davidson Australia & New Zealand has announced the arrival of a new version of our favourite H-D tourer - the new Road King Special, which joins the Milwaukee-Eight powered Touring range in 2017.

Bathed in black and powered by the muscular 1750cc Milwaukee-Eight engine, the new Road King Special is a machine that exudes a bold new attitude and a darker edge to the traditional styling and proportions of the classic Road King. Pricing starts at $34,995 ride away in Australia and $37,995 ride away in New Zealand. See your local H-D dealer quickly we reckon.

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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ALL NEW

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NEWS

MORE STARS THAN THE SKY ITSELF

International Festival of Speed Head for Sydney Motorsport Park from the 23-26 March to see loads of famous motorcycle racers of the past and present.

The big name is that of ultra-nice guy Giacomo Agostini who will be joined by Piero Laverda, John McGuiness, Gianfranco Bonera, Pierfrancesco Chili, Jeremy McWilliams, Steve Parrish, Graeme Crosby, Troy Bayliss and many more.

Get along and enjoy the stars, but also the awesome classic racing!

Grab your tickets at www.internationalfestivalofspeed.com

HERITAGE-INSPIRED TOURING

Indian Roadmaster Classic Indian Motorcycle has sent us some

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info about its newly crafted Roadmaster Classic, a premium touring motorcycle, designed for the rider who desires the highest quality craftsmanship with the latest technology and amenities.

The Roadmaster Classic blends iconic style such as genuine leather saddlebags with modern touring amenities such as the 7-inch touchscreen Ride Command infotainment system. This bike will turn heads heading down any road.

Available in Australia from April, it will feature a ride away price of $38,995 for the black option and $39,995 for the two tone options. For more, visit www.indianmotorcycle.com/en-au

NAVIGATE WHERE YOU NEVER COULD ExplorOZ Traveller App

The ride may be a bit different, but a new app called ExplorOz Traveller aims to make navigation in some of Australia’s most remote regions just as easy as in the city/suburbs. And although the app can’t make the terrain easier, it will let you know the difficulty level so you don’t get stuck!

The app is ideal for iPads, iPhones, Android phones and tablets and is available through the App Store and Google Play.

It is claimed to be the first app in Australia that gives you offline auto-routing for trips such as the Canning Stock Route, Flinders Ranges, Simpson Desert, Kidman Way, Cape York, Tanami Track, Gunbarrel Highway and many more.

These routes are complete with photos, trip notes including difficulty and vehicle requirements, places to see, campsites, permit needs, and best times of year to visit an area, as well as fuel usage estimates (and where to fill up). The app displays three types of maps; street, satellite, and (topo)graphic, with the topo map available both online and offline. All maps work seamlessly in the app and include navigation tools to enable you to obtain riding directions to anywhere in Australia.

ExplorOz Traveller is priced at $59.99 and is available now from the App Store and Google Play.

A Premium Map Pack is $49.99 and Track Logger is $29.99 (available by in-app purchase). www.exploroz.com D

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

27/02/2017 1:13 pm

HPA31056 - Super X Press Ad - RESIZE_V1_HR.pdf

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LAUNCH

Yamaha MT-09 It’s in there,you know it is!

Words Stuart Photos iKapture

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LAUNCH

Y

amaha’s MT-09 has to offer the biggest bang for your buck on the motorcycle market, without a doubt.

So with a three hundred dollar price increase, how much better is the 2017 model? We went along to the Aussie launch to find out.

The MT range has dominated the naked bike sales giving Yamaha a 43% share in this class. And it’s easy to see why when you ride any one of the MT bikes, from the small MT-03 right up to the wild MT-10. Each and every bike makes you smile when you ride it. Now while the process of making riders smile seems quite a simple one, translating it into a motorcycle that masses of people will buy takes some thinking, which Yamaha has done.

The two standout features that I think have made the MT range so popular are their sharp handling and masses of torque – a feature of the ‘MT’ wording – massive torque.

This launch was held in Albury and consisted of a one day road ride through Granya Gap out to Tallangatta and the next morning on the track at the Murray Valley Training Centre.

The MT-09 is a bike that releases your inner hoonigan thanks to a sharp

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throttle, short wheelbase and the oh-so-sweet three cylinder engine.

The bike overall has received many updates to make it sharper in looks and even more fun to ride, if that is at all possible!

Visually the biggest update is the new “twin-eye” four bulb headlight which gives the MT-09 a much more aggressive and purposeful look – just what this bike is all about. Spaced under the main headlight are six LED “position lights” or day time running lights, which add a sharp

I finally get to say, “Stunt performed on a closed circuit”. LOL!

look to the front. Not as noticeable in the styling department and still at the front of the bike are the new radiator side fins, enlarged air intakes and the relocated front indicators which are now beside the radiator.

When you move to the rear of the bike the rear fender/licence plate holder is now single-side mounted to the swingarm and the LED tail light has been redesigned to give it an ‘M’

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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LAUNCH

look when illuminated – very clever and smart looking if you ask me.

Come back a little and stand to the right hand side of the bike and you’ll notice a flat muffler surface with a restyled end cap. It gives the MT-09 that compact style the whole bike conforms to.

Ergonomics have been changed slightly on the MT-09, you now get a flatter seat which is also 5mm higher for an 820mm overall height. The tail of the bike is also 30mm shorter. The redesign of the seat allows you to hold your position better during braking, cornering and most of all acceleration.

Acceleration is also smoother and faster thanks to a new quickshifter.

This new mechanism is the same as the design fitted on the YZF-R1, and features a sensor on the shift rod that momentarily cancels drive torque when an upshift is detected, giving more efficient and exciting acceleration through the gears. And this needs to be said – which other motorcycle for only $12,299 comes with these sort of goodies!

Suspension on the previous MT09 was known for being very soft and it still is, but the introduction of separate compression in the left fork leg and rebound in the right leg gives adjustability that has made a small improvement. The rear shock is the same as the previous model’s. To make it much better you’ll still need to get heavier springs in the front and rear but in standard trim, with some adjustments the new MT-09 will handle most riding conditions.

Once we got onto the track I had changes made to the suspension which essentially resulted in both front and rear being as hard as they’d go. This is good to get the sticky Dunlop tyres fitted to work properly and give predictable feedback, especially on change of direction.

Braking is the same awesome radial mount ABS package from the previous model and when you get into some swifter riding and start using the brakes hard you’ll also appreciate the major new performance feature of the MT-09 – an Assist and Slipper clutch.

M!

About as good a view as you’ll get to most MT-09s!

Turn is sharp and predictable.

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www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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LAUNCH

Side mounted guard and licence plate holder looks the business

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If you see this in your rear view mirror, move!

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

24/02/2017 1:18 pm

SPECS YAMAHA MT-09

It helps to stabilise the bike during heavy engine braking. By minimising the unsettling effects caused by high levels of back torque and excessive engine braking, this new assist and slipper clutch gives improved control and gentler handling characteristics when downshifting aggressively - and its 20% lighter lever load reduces the effort required to pull the clutch lever in, making things much more comfortable – not that the previous model had a heavy clutch lever pull at all, this one just makes things super light and even easier to manage.

The instrument panel remains the same integrated digital unit that is easy to read and supplies all you’ll want to know.

Three colours are available with a Tech Black being a matt finish, the Race Blue which I think looks stunning in the metal as against what you might think of it in photos and the gloss grey with those bright fluoro yellow wheels.

Accessories are extensive and you can even set the MT-09 up to a decent tourer if you so desire. A lot of the accessories are designed so you can match small details of the parts to the colour of your bike – a great personal touch.

Riding the MT-09 on the road it is great through tight and twisty roads which we encountered through Granya Gap and thanks to the wide, upright bar if there was any unwanted slipping on all the leaf litter through this area, it was easily controlled. Out on the track the soft suspension limited how hard you could push but this isn’t a race bike or even a bike that would be classed as a proper ‘sportsbike’ so for all-roundedness it handles just about all you can throw at it. The torque of the engine allows you to hold a higher gear through corners if you wish, or release the sweet triple sound track.

The new 2017 Yamaha MT-09 has stepped up to another level. It is a bike that offers huge value for money and massive amounts of fun for that hard earned, too! In terms of competition in the mid-sized naked bike market there is nothing I can think of that comes close. Your inner hoonigan is waiting to make you smile so let it out every now and again; ride this cracker of a motorcycle. D

PRICE: $12,299 (plus on-road charges) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 10,000km or 12 months ENGINE: Liquid-cooled in-line three cylinder, 4-stroke, DOHC, 4 valves per cylinder BORE x STROKE: 78 x 59.1mm DISPLACEMENT: 847cc COMPRESSION: 11.5:1 POWER: 84.6kW @ 10,000rpm TORQUE: 87.5Nm @ 8500rpm TRANSMISSION: 6-speed, wet multi-plate assist and slipper clutch, chain final drive SUSPENSION: Front, 41mm inverted fork, adjustable preload, compression and rebound, travel 137mm. Rear, monoshock, adjustable preload and rebound, travel 130mm.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 820mm, weight 193kg (wet), fuel capacity 14 litres, wheelbase 1440mm TYRES: Front, 120/70/ZR17.

Rear, 180/55/ZR17 FRAME: Diamond BRAKES: Front, twin 298mm discs with four-piston radial mount ABS calipers. Rear, 245mm disc, single-piston ABS caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 5.5 litres per 100km, premium unleaded (claimed) THEORETICAL RANGE: 254km (claimed) COLOURS: Tech Black, Race Blue, Night Fluro VERDICT: NUMBER ONE MID-SIZED NAKED

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TOPTOURS

SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS TO TRAVEL COMPILED BY THE BEAR

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Food and drink are freely available, although some places close at the strangest hours.

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WANT TO DO IT YOURSELF? “…if a man thinks he can't do something perfectly, he'd rather not do it at all…”

Shelli NT, www.femail.co.za

U

mm. I was a bit disturbed when I found that quote, because it is so true. For me, anyway. I wondered, too, about all the things it could apply to. Could it explain, for example, my increasing tendency to go on organised tours rather than heading out on my own? It could be a matter of age, I suppose. Once upon a time it used not to bother me when I missed something while on a trip. I could always go back another time, couldn’t I? These days the likelihood of going back is fading with every leaf that blows off the calendar.

Just saying…

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But there is a simple way of sidestepping this problem – rent a bike from a tour company and rely on their advice for the route. It’s not the same as going on a tour; you’re still going to miss some things, accommodation may not be as easy to find and so on.

Oh, and it’s more likely that you will get lost at some stage (guilty!). But at least you’re part of the way towards solving the complex question of doing ‘something perfectly’. I’ve used this method and I’ve been very happy with it – even though I must admit that these days I tend to prefer the relaxing and reassuring all-in organisation of a fully guided tour.

Renting has just become easier, too.

From this year, Edelweiss Bike Travel, a tour company I like very much, makes it possible for you to be your own guide and explore the Alps on the bike of your choice. Starting April

Edelweiss bikes are in far better condition than some of the castles you get to see. PHOTO The Bear

2017 Edelweiss offers you motorcycle rentals. They’re in just the right place, in the middle of the Alps, the Edelweiss office is an ideal starting point for a motorcycle tour anywhere in the highest mountain range in Europe and one of the world’s traditional motorcycle travel destinations.

Edelweiss works with major motorcycle manufacturers so they can offer you a wide range of bikes from BMW, Ducati, Harley-Davidson and Triumph to Vespa. Rental bikes come with Third Party Liability insurance and basic comprehensive coverage (with deductible) in case of damage or theft, and you can upgrade the coverage.

If you don’t want to lug your own gear

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St op

RIDE NEW ZEALAND LIVE THE DREAM!

pr es s O ST KE T BI S ” R I D! RE F O CK, RVE 2M I E Y QU T S NL BE IRS “O – E, F GO M CO

!

Guided Motorcycle Tour of South Island, New Zealand with Peter Thoeming, “The Bear”, Editor of AUSTRALIAN MOTORCYCLIST MAGAZINE Featuring the amazing Omaka Classic Fighters International Airshow 2017

Tour Dates 8th April - 17th April 2017

Omaka Tour Highlights; (All included in tour package) Ride 4 legendary Mountain passes Ride 4 National Parks Platinum Gourmet Pass Day entry to the Omaka Classic Fighters Airshow 2017 Helicopter Ride over the Alps with Ice Glacier Landing Jet-boating through ‘The Lord of the Rings’ canyons Whale-watch boat trip Entry to the Wanaka Warbirds Museum Queenstown, Adventure Capital of the Southern Hemisphere

fast so “We’re filling up email us today at etours.co.nz” office@motorbik - Mike & Carole

Based in Christchurch, New Zealand, South Pacific Motorcycle Tours Specialise in Superior Motorcycling Experiences: - Fully-guided Tours - Self-guided Tours - Luxury Bespoke Tours - Motorcycle Rentals -

www.motorbiketours.co.nz South Pacific Motorcycle Tours Ph: +64 3 312 0066 www.motorcycletours.co.nz Email: office@motorbiketours.co.nz Skype: ride.nz A4 AMM AD FOR SPMT 2016.indd 1 AMM_50.indd 29

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around, Edelweiss also offers rental of various bits of equipment. Take a look on their website for details of what you can rent, and of prices.

Talking of prices, you can rent a BMW R 1200 RT from € 135,-/day, a Ducati Multistrada 1200 from € 126,-/day, a HarleyDavidson Electra Glide Ultra Limited from € 162,-/day and a Triumph Tiger 800 XCX from € 108,-/day. A Vespa can cost as little as € 86,-/day, all depending on length of rental.

Contact Edelweiss Bike

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Travel on +43 5264 5690, worldtours@edelweissbike.com or www.edelweissbike.com and tell ‘em The Bear sent you!

MISSED IT BY THAT MUCH You’re too late for this “brilliant, scenic ride through the mountains of the Drakensberg. Taking in the beautiful Eastern Freestate and Lesotho.Tar and good gravel.” That’s the tour description from Bike Rentals ZA Team, and having ridden

South Africa is nothing if not spectacular, just about anywhere you go. PHOTO The Bear

some of those roads on a BMW bike launch I can only concur.

“Explore the beautiful Eastern Free State and the picturesque town of Clarens,” the Team’s message continues, “Sample the local refreshments at one of South Africa's finest breweries. Come and see the famous 5- star castle on top of the Malutis overlooking Lesotho.

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2/03/2017 12:39 pm

BELGIUM | FRANCE GERMANY | LUXEMBOURG

13 DAYS VACATION AUG 15 - 27, 2017

BREWERIES AND CASTLES

„Castles and fortresses, beer, wine & champagne: Ride on spectacular motorcycle roads through the heart of Western Europe!“ www.edelweissbike.com

Jim Jim Falls, Kakadu

Ready to ride the final frontier?

Arnhem Land / Kakadu / Litchfield

10-21 SEPTEMBER 2017

find out more

THE FINAL FRONTIER www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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Come and ride some of Africa's most spectacular passes through the Mountain Kingdom of Lesotho.

Visit the famous Mohale Dam and experience true Basotho Hospitality.

Ride the fantastic Sani Pass - views that will leave you breathless – and have lunch at the highest pub at the top of the pass.

“Spend a day in the Barrier of Spears in the Drakensberg. Visit the Basotho Cultural Village in the Golden Gate nature reserve.”

The whole thing has cost the riders lucky enough to be out there ZA R28 000 pp sharing, not including the cost of bike rental – you have a number of options there.

Why am I telling you this when you’re too late for the tour? Because they sent us their press release too late, but also because I have no doubt that there will be other tours.

Check with Bike Rentals ZA Team +27 11 251 4032 or fni@linexyamaha.co.za .

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ALWAYS SOMETHING NEW OUT OF AFRICA Our good friends Denise and Mike at World On Wheels (formerly Ferris Wheels Motorcycle Safaris) are excited to announce a brand new tour in their global portfolio - Spectacular South Africa. “It has been described as an adventure of a lifetime!” says Denise.

The first Spectacular South Africa safari was in October this year ... but sold out within a week of being launched. Fortunately there will be another one in October 2017.

“This sought after two-wheeled adventure, aboard a full range of late model BMWs begins in Cape Town and concludes in Johannesburg,” Denise continues. “On tour you will explore three countries in three weeks, taking in South Africa as well as the lesser known 'Kingdom in the Sky' of Lesotho and Swaziland. Along the way the group will visit the popular Table Mountain, the famous Robben Island where Nelson Mandela spent

“What do you mean, nice pussycat?” PHOTO World On Wheels

18 of his 27 years in prison, the Cape of Good Hope and the southernmost tip of the African continent. You will experience some very special wildlife moments in a range of top national parks and game parks including Kruger and you will have the opportunity to soak up the rich culture, the exquisite cuisine and the warm hospitality of the diverse South African peoples. There will of course be some great riding ... the famous Garden Route, the beautiful passes of South Africa, the coast along the Indian Ocean and the Drakensberg Mountain region.

"I first visited Africa over 20 years ago and it is my favourite continent to travel to. This is now the second tour we offer in Africa, along with our Moroccan Magic safari" Denise says, "and Africa never disappoints!"

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

2/03/2017 12:40 pm

The Pinnacle Passes Tour Italy / Austria / Switzerland 29 June - 13 July 2017

- ITALY 2017 -

Ride the ultimate european alpine passes on our 14 day luxury tour Tour Highlights include:

find out more

The Top 20 alpine passes KTM factory & design Tour KTM Adventure Rally Italy Rental bikes provided

BYO bike and we’ll take you on a great ride Fully supported 1, 2 and 10 day guided tours on your bike or one of ours!

Visiting scenic destinations across Victoria, South Australia and New South Wales throughout 2017.

To find out more about your next adventure visit: www.scenicwheels.com.au Just bring your own bike we’ll sort out the rest.

scenic WHEELS MOTORCYCLE TOURS

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Look down, look down, that lonesome

World On Wheels has been running motorcycle tours to exotic destinations around the planet for more than 22 years now. “We have the best experience in ensuring that you have the best experience,” says Mike. Check them out at www.worldonwheels.tours .

’SCUSE ME, WHILE I TOUCH THE SKY The words "motorcycle" and "India" together often paint a picture of crowded streets with chaotic intersections, notes motorcycle tour operator MotoQuest.

“While this is an accurate description of many cities in India, most of the riders we talk to are surprised to learn that our guided motorcycle adventure largely avoids these areas. Instead we take groups through the magical landscapes of the northern part of the country, where bustling cities are

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replaced by tiny villages. We ascend the Himalayas, traversing some of the world's highest roads, and stand in complete awe of the world around us.

“But don't take our word for it. Below are a couple of stories written by riders that have ridden India with us. We invite you to read their words and get their perspective on this one-of-a-kind trip.

Please contact us if you are interested in learning more about this adventure. If you'd like to talk it over with one of the riders below, we can put you in touch with them.”

John, from Boston, writes: “MotoQuest's "Touch the Sky" trip is the best supported motorcycle adventure I have ever been on, without exception.

“Every day delivered new challenges and experiences that I will never forget. It took us to a place in India that is very different than what I had imagined before going. I saw vast landscapes with not much more than a

road… to the Himalaya (strictly speaking there is no ’s’). PHOTO MotoQuest

goat herder, maybe a small village with a shopkeeper that is happy to serve a traveler, or a monastery perched on the side of a mountain where it has been for hundreds of years. The visual bounty of India is fantastic.

“The highest motorable road in the world. How cool is that? There is only one place on earth that holds that title and MotoQuest takes you there. Touch the Sky was not an easy undertaking but I think anyone with a few years of riding under their belt and not afraid to get outside of their comfort zone may have an unforgettable experience.”

Bill, from Toronto, writes: “Sky and mountains, more sky and more mountains. The only change is the angle of the horizon as you crawl up and up, switchback after switchback.

Scratching along the ledges of the

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T OPTOUR S

There is no word for ATGATT in Cuba. PHOTO The Bear

Indian Himalayas on a motorcycle is a blindingly monochromatic experience, but one peppered by intermittent flashes of colour, complexity and fear.

“A byproduct of the remoteness is that you feel immersed in it—the vistas, the culture, the history—even before the catalyzing effects of good beer, altitude, and the comradery of the other guys. As for all the clichés that people carry around about India, give it two or three days in the saddle and I guarantee they’ll fall away.

“Did you ever dream of winding the clock back and travelling the old Silk Road? What about riding on the surface of Pluto? An interest in welding, perhaps? Well, this ride is as close as you are going to come to weaving these three into one experience. As an adventure—pure and simple—it doesn’t get better than this.”

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Then forget Cuba. I couldn’t even get them to take my Qantas cash card because it didn’t have ‘the bumpy letters’; electronics are yet to make much of an impact.

And Cuba cannot even offer much in the way of motorcycle roads.

Generally speaking, the surface is poor and the surveying basic. So why did I love it?

A lot of it was precisely the people.

Then there is the sense of history, and of history fading away. The Carribbean island is a place of contrasts, where against concrete bunker style hotels stand over dream beaches, colonial buildings against ruins. Universal free healthcare (Cuba exports doctors and nurses to many Third World countries) meets openair shop window butchers and flash modern buses share the road with ancient American and Russian cars and Eastern Bloc bikes and scooters.

Visiting Cuba is taking a journey in travel to a country that might be poor but is so much more real and original than neighbouring Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic and let alone the Bahamas.

If you’d like to learn more about Does that make Cuba an insider MotoQuest’s Touch the Sky Adventure tip for motorcycle travellers? Yes it (or any other ride of theirs), see https:// does. Your bike will take you to places www.motoquest.com. where the tourist coaches do not (yet) go and you will meet people that package tour travellers will not.

Modernisation and westernisation JUST IN TIME FOR CUBA are happening with blinding speed, “For centuries,” essayist Pico Iyer wrote, but you still have time to experience “Cuba’s greatest resource has been a sense of another time. Do it. I its people.” He was quite right, as I loved Cuba, not least because all the discovered on one of Edelweiss’ Cuba souvenirs are hand-made – in Cuba. tours recently. Should that make it your To leave you with a quote from motorcycle travel destination in 2017?

Pico Iyer, “It's an old principle, Are you searching for the perfect as old as the Buddha or Marcus motorcycle holiday destination? You Aurelius: We need at times to step want to stay in a 5-star-resort, enjoy away from our lives in order to put international gourmet cuisine, check them in perspective.” your finances on wifi during your To contact Edelweiss Bike Travel, coffee stop, go out shopping at call +43 5264 5690, write to Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci or worldtours@edelweissbike.com or see Louis Vuitton stores? ww.edelweissbike.com . D

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

2/03/2017 12:41 pm

THE BEASTLY POWER

TO TAKE YOU FURTHER, FASTER Meet the KTM 1290 SUPER DUKE GT sports tourer. Packed with the same ferocious power as the infamous KTM 1290 SUPER DUKE R – but with additional long-distance capabilities.

A larger 23-litre tank and improved wind protection enable you to race off further into the distance than ever before. If eating up miles is what you’re after, we’ve created the perfect machine for you.

NEW STOCK JUST ARRIVED. TEST RIDE TODAY.

RIDE (MTC + ENGINE)

MTC // MSR* (*OPTIONAL)

ABS

Motorcycle pictured with additional PowerParts.

KTM Group Partner

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BIKE tE st

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2/03/2017 9:54 am

KAWASAKI NINJA 1000 SMOOTH ASSASSIN WORDS STUART PHOTOS HALF LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHIC

C

omfort is a big thing when it comes to a touring motorcycle and for the 2017 version of the popular Kawasaki Ninja 1000, comfort has been the main priority when improvements were made. Not that the previous model was uncomfortable in any way. I had found it to be

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BIKETEST

a smooth, easy bike to ride with all day long comfort, but when you ride this new model you realise just how much better things can get.

Visually the bike seems wider now – because it is. Precisely 28mm wider each side through the sides of the fairing, which tackles two jobs. One is to deflect wind that would normally hit your legs, the second part is to direct engine heat out and away from the bike. Both work very well, especially the shelter from the oncoming wind. This is no longer noticeable, making for a very relaxing ride. The engine heat deflection works well too, I think, but the one part that isn’t covered, on the right hand side around the clutch cover, lets a tiny bit of engine heat get onto the inside of your shin. I am nit-picking here, and it is noticeable only while wearing short boots. If you have a longer touring or sport style boot on you won’t notice this heat.

Both the rider and pillion seats have been improved for this new model. The rider’s seat is wider, offers greater support and is covered with a material that offers better elasticity in all temperatures.

The pillion seat has seen the most work. It is now 25mm longer, 3mm thicker and the design has a raised part towards the front that comes up 25mm to help the pillion stay comfy all day long and not worry about sliding forward. There are also dampers that have been placed under the seat to help reduce any vibrations. And as we all know having a happy pillion makes for a happy ride! From the rider’s perspective, I rode the Ninja 1000 all day long in plus 35 degree heat and was as comfortable as you’d get. The screen is also 15mm taller through the middle part and with three easily adjustable positions you’re set for just about any weather.

You’ll also notice with the new Ninja 1000 that the headlights are sharper in design, looking very similar to the racy ZX-10R. They are LEDs and give a 1.5 times wider beam and shine 1.4 times further

Happy rider. Happier pillion!

Sweet looking integrated dash

Switch it up – the power is in your hand!

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2/03/2017 9:54 am

It’s not where you’re going ...

It’s how you get there.

Check out the new EVO range with a flat rack and 10 or 40-litre selfsupporting bags.

VENTURA is available from your favourite motorcycle store. For more information about VENTURA products visit www.kenma.com.au email: sales@kenma.com.au or if you are in QLD, NSW, ACT, VIC, NT, SA or WA phone 02 9484 0777, Tasmanians phone 03 6339 2770.

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biketest

down the road compared to the previous model. I took the Ninja 1000 down the shops one night and while I can’t remember how good the previous model was at night,

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these new LEDs work a treat!

The 1043cc engine is essentially unchanged from the strong acceleration and mega amounts of torque of the previous model,

apart from a revised ECU for even smoother running and to meet Euro 4 emissions standards, and a redesigned airbox that reduces intake noise at low speeds and

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Three position adjustable screen is 15mm taller in the middle

Check out those sexy LED headlights!

increases them at high speeds! It is an intoxicating induction noise too.

And don’t forget the sweet assist

Wider fairing for more comfort

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BIKETEST

"REMEMBER THAT LITTLE THING THAT KAWASAKI HAS AIMED FOR WITH THIS BIKE, NAMELY IMPROVING COMFORT” slipper clutch that makes life so much better.

Suspension is the same 41mm inverted fork as the previous model but the rear shock has been given a more supple ride and with a new link ratio it has also added to the comfort side of things while allowing for a reduced seat height down to 815mm (from 820mm). I found the handling to be mid-weighted on turn in which then became very neutral and predictable on the side of the tyre. The damping also eats up rough roads for breakfast. On roads where I knew the bumps I was bracing myself when there was no need to. Once I’d relaxed and trusted the suspension I had a far more comfortable ride, which is no doubt what the Kawasaki engineers wanted to achieve.

Braking is the same on the front but a new rear brake pad material, for better feel and control, has been added. Front braking performance is strong with plenty of feel giving you that relaxed sensation when not hammering into a turn.

Electronics are a big feature that has been improved on the Ninja 1000. Most noticeable is the new dash which looks funky and has a new gear indicator and shift up lamp, but I found that when you are riding towards the sun, it is hard to read.

With direct sunlight beaming on the dash it is beautifully lit up – usually digital instrument panels are the other way round!

KTRC – Kawasaki Traction Control still offers three levels and off but has been refined to interact with the new KCMF – Kawasaki Cornering Management Function.

Essentially this unit controls the

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KTRC and the KIBS – Kawasaki Intelligent Anti-Lock Brake System by offering corner braking and measuring all sorts of parameters to make acceleration at varying lean angles and in the transition from braking to accelerating as smooth as possible – and it works!

Remember that little thing that Kawasaki has aimed for with this bike, namely improving comfort?

Well,making things as smooth as possible in the electronics department all goes hand in hand with the rest of the comfort improvements to make this a slick ride.

Build quality is something I really need to mention. I get to ride quite a wide range of bikes, but it’s not until you jump onto a machine like the Ninja 1000 that you notice the little details that have been paid some attention which add up to a much better machine. I’m talking something as simple as the clutch lever bracket. On the Ninja 1000 it is a more substantial bracket than on most bikes which I think gives better feel and should give longer life. It’s not only that but the overall attention to detail is clearly there to see, which gives you better value for the dollar! The other area that has come under the spotlight is the seamless integrated pannier system which slots into the sides of the pillion grab handles.

Accessories are all pretty much focused on improving the touring experience. Givi panniers, a larger Givi top box, Ergo low seat that lowers the set height by 8mm, a gel seat, DC outlet, screen, tank bag, seat bag, heated grips, GPS bracket, with the rest being protection based accessories; a great range for the touring rider.

The 2017 Kawasaki Ninja 1000 is such a great all-rounder. It can tour all day long, it can commute with ease and if you want to turn up the wick through the corners, there won’t be many bikes that will stay with you. If you are looking for a sport tourer, you’d be mad not to consider the Ninja 1000. D

SPECS

KAWASAKI NINJA 1000 PRICE: $16,299 (plus on-road charges) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 6000km or 12 months ENGINE: Liquid-cooled in-line four cylinder, 4-stroke, DOHC, 4 valves per cylinder BORE x STROKE: 77 x 56mm DISPLACEMENT: 1043cc COMPRESSION: 11.8:1 POWER: 105kW @ 10,000rpm TORQUE: 111Nm @ 7300rpm TRANSMISSION: 6-speed, wet multi-plate assist and slipper clutch, chain final drive SUSPENSION: Front, 41mm inverted fork, adjustable preload, compression and rebound, travel 120mm. Rear, monoshock, adjustable preload and rebound, travel 144mm.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 815mm, weight 235kg (wet), fuel capacity 19 litres, wheelbase 1440mm TYRES: Front, 120/70/ZR17. Rear, 190/50/ZR17 FRAME: Twin-tube aluminium BRAKES: Front, twin 300mm discs with radial mount four-piston ABS calipers. Rear, 250mm disc, single-piston ABS caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 5.97 litres per 100km, premium unleaded THEORETICAL RANGE: 318km COLOURS: Candy Lime Green, Metallic Spark Black VERDICT: SO SMOOTH, SO COMFY

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

2/03/2017 9:56 am

INDUSTR Y Chinese motorcycles have enjoyed pretty much a monopoly in South America.

FINE CHINA

QUALITY IS IMPROVING IN CHINA: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR 2017?

WORDS DAVID MCMULLAN AT ENGLISHMANINCHINA@GMAIL.COM

T

he year 2016 in China saw the continuing trend of declining sales domestically and a slight downturn in exports to traditionally safe Chinese markets like Latin America and Africa. This is causing more Chinese manufacturers to turn their attention to the European and American markets.

Despite the expression ‘scrambler’ not meaning what it used to (for me anyway) a cursory look around a Chinese motorcycle exhibition will reveal that it is this type of bike that is ‘trending’ at the moment. At last year’s Canton fair I approached the exhibition stand for each different manufacturer and asked them which of their models had achieved the EURO 4 certificate of conformity. After the usual replies of “all of them” I asked to see a copy of the certificates and eventually the truth was revealed that only one or two models actually had a EURO 4 COC. The relevance of this is that on most expo stands the models that had newly received the certificate were almost invariably scramblers and café racers.

The Chinese motorcycle industry is not a leader by any means but it has begun to follow a lot quicker than before and is keeping an eye on trends by monitoring the types of bikes put out

by BMW, Moto Guzzi, Benelli, Ducati and others resulting in a plethora of (I must say) decent looking retro style scramblers and café racers ready for Europe and America this year.

The other side of the coin to these retro old timers are the modern ‘dual sport’ motorcycles which have been manufactured in China for a few years and sold mainly to Latin America, but are now starting to show a leg on western markets.

ELECTRIFYING?

Is it time yet? This is the question constantly asked by the Chinese electric scooter industry about whether all western countries are ready for an influx of Chinese scooters on the scale of Holland, Germany or Switzerland.

Many cities have good infrastructure for re-charging electric vehicles, they are just short on the scooters to recharge.

I have had six different electric scooter manufacturers talk to me in the past three months about opportunities in Europe and America.

The main problem that the Chinese industry faces is batteries. Domestic Chinese electric scooters run on lead acid batteries; these are only allowed in some western countries if the dealer has facilities to dispose of them properly when they are spent. The lithium ion batteries are still a bit too expensive, but expect an influx of electric scooters later this year.

We will start to see many of the small to middle sized factories with smart and reliable models on overseas markets, although they will almost invariably be rebadged so you won’t recognise them. Smaller factories now have full access to the supply chain that the likes of Lifan, Loncin and Zongshen have utilised through the years, and are capable of producing motorcycle models worthy of roads in developed countries. Look out for smaller companies like Pioneer, Fuego and WangQiang introducing a nice little selection of scramblers, café racers and dual sports in 2017.

This year might (I said might) see the advent of the bigger Chinese manufacturers promoting their own brands in Europe and possibly Australia. In America, Zongshen (with their brand ‘Cyclone’), CFMoto (X-force and Z-force) have been joined by Lifan who hope to make up for their last disastrous foray into the States with their ‘King Power’ brand. It’s not a big stretch of the imagination to envisage the Chinese companies planning the same for Europe or Australia.

The problem has been that the Chinese were slow to react to EURO 4. Also, they were smug and comfortable making fortunes in their market monopolies in Latin America and Africa and so excluded developed countries from their plans, something they cannot afford to do now. In addition to this the European Union has made EURO 4 conformity very difficult for the Chinese to achieve and moved the goalposts on more than one occasion (the suggestion that this was due to hard lobbying from Japanese manufacturers is just speculation… of course).

One of the bonuses of extended trade between the west and Chinese motorcycle industries is that it means that famous old British, American and Italian marques will be seen again as European and American manufacturers source quality parts from China. D

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S P E C I A L F E A T U R E IMPROVE YOUR BIKE Okay, so maybe this is taking the idea of improving your bike a little too far!

MAKE A GOOD THING BETTER YOU AND YOUR BIKE WILL FEEL SO GOOD! COMPILED BY STUART

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always find that when I wash my bike, check the oil or pump up the tyres that it somehow appreciates being shown some love. Maybe it’s all in my mind but you know what I mean, right?

Improving your bike can be as small a step as checking the oil and topping it up if need be, or perhaps going a step further and pulling some of it apart and giving it a really good clean; then there are accessories you can fit to improve its touring capabilities, performance, handling and looks – yes, the list is almost endless. I’ve tried to compile a bit of that list, and referred you to some of the accessory suppliers whom we use all the time. This is just to remind you of what you should be doing anyway, plus a little bit of what is out there to help you to make your bike that much better.

OIL

As I mentioned, check the oil and think about when it was last changed; then drop it out and replace with fresh stuff.

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Even if you don’t want to replace the oil filter at the time (not recommended) remember that oil is like blood – an engine needs it to work at its best and stay healthy – same as a living being needs blood to stay alive.

TYRES

I bang on about tyre pressures quite a bit, but that’s because it’s really important! You should be checking them once a week, or before each ride if you ride much less. Not only will this give you the proper handling of your machine, but it will help save you dollars as your tyres will last longer. One of these days the Bear will remember this and I won’t have to constantly nag him.

CLEAN IT UP!

Washing your bike is essential, it helps keep grime and filth from clogging up parts of your bike that will eventually end up failing. Just remember not to drown it with water, so grab one of

those Karcher or Gerni pressure washers from Bunnings or similar (just remember not to hold the nozzle too close!) as this will give you enough water to wash any suds off the bike. If there are some stubborn dirty areas that aren’t painted, you can give them a bit of pressure to help remove grime that might not have come off otherwise.

AIR FILTER

Some bikes are a pain in the backside when it comes to checking the air filter but most make it an easy half hour job for even the most inexperienced DIYer type mechanics. If you’re ever unsure grab a workshop manual or search on Youtube how to do it on your specific model, there’s always someone who’s done it before and wants you to know the easy way.

LUGGAGE

Fed up with that annoying latch on your topbox or pannier? Well, consider

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ELS. ILABLE IN 5 MOD VA A S SE A PC TO SE COOCA EEDS S TO SUIT YOUR N RE U AT FE E TH SE CHOO a remote control H Keyless entry vi s H LED brakelight rity alarm H Integrated secu e H Auto-lock featur release mount for H Includes quickcks existing luggage ra

THE

ULTIMATE LUGGAGE SOLUTION

COOCASE is available from your favourite motorcycle store. For more information about COOCASE products visit www.kenma.com.au email: sales@kenma.com.au or if you are in QLD, NSW, ACT, VIC, NT, SA or WA phone 02 9484 0777, in Tas ph 03 6339 2770.

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i M PR O V e Y O U R b i k e sPeCiAL FeAtURe

improving your bike with a replacement part or, better still getting a new topbox or set of panniers that suit what you’re looking for – remember, making life simple out on the road will bring more smiles to your face, not to mention that of the Pillion in a Million!

Suspension

This is one way of improving your bike out of this world. You don’t need to go all out and buy fifty thousand dollars’ worth of MotoGP spec fork and shock.

Something as simple of a service for the fork and shock/s will significantly improve your bike, and this can be as easy as just changing the oil to a better quality or more effective density. If you wanted to spend a little more, a set of springs matched to your weight, bike and type of riding will take it that next step up. For most riders this is about as much as you’d need to do. If you take the fork and shock out yourself I’m talking less than a thousand dollars to do all this. I’ve used YSS – Your Suspension Shop in South Australia and recently had GASD – Glenn Allerton Suspension Development (Sydney based) turn an $80 rear shock into a work of art for not much hard earned at all. One point to remember is that getting your suspension serviced is based on having suspension that is serviceable in the first place – not a rear shock that is completely flogged out, for instance.

this during any bikes warranty period as you’ll have a nightmare if things go wrong and you’re trying to make a warranty claim.

Accessories

Last but not least, there are many aftermarket accessory suppliers with all sorts of goodies to improve your bike; you might like a different screen (see Eaglescreens), or you could see our good friends at Rocky Creek Designs who have all sorts of delights for your bike, so the following is just a sample of what is available from both manufacturer and aftermarket accessory suppliers.

the brake and clutch levers with 2 fingers while curling the other 2 around the grips. This gives you a more positive brake and clutch control, adding to overall confidence and handling ability. Designed not to crush your 4th and 5th finger and dramatically reducing instances of broken clutch and front brake levers in the event of a fall.

Rocky Creek Designs

www.rockycreekdesigns.com.au

Performance

There’s a myriad of things you can do to improve the performance of your bike – it all depends on how much you want to spend, but let’s start here with getting a minor type tune done on your bike. A balance of the throttle bodies, making sure each opens to maximum evenly will make a huge difference to how your bike goes. You’d be surprised to know that many bikes will be out of sync, even off the showroom floor.

The other relatively cheap performance mod you can do is to get the ECU flashed for smoother running, better fuel consumption and of course faster acceleration. Look at the difference this made to The Bear’s Ducati Scrambler and you’ll realise it is well worth considering. Just be mindful of doing

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Wild@Heart Side Stand Supports - Price - $46 If you need a bigger footprint to support the weight of your motorcycle when parking on soft or uneven surfaces look no further than the Wild@Heart Side Stand Supports.

Made in South Africa, the strong and sturdy Wild@Heart side stand support will effectively support the weight of your adventure motorcycle, even when loaded.

Wild@Heart Two Finger Levers - Price - $151.55 These levers allow the rider to cover

Wild@Heart Crash Bars Price - From $372 - $475 Crash bars offer maximum protection against damage to critical components like your radiator, engine, frame or bodywork. Even the smallest tip over can result in a catastrophe. Superb quality and design, these bars are designed and constructed by Wild@ Heart in Cape Town. Armour your motorcycle with a set of crash bars!

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

2/03/2017 3:55 pm

Tank Bag Sport - $208.48 Functional and sturdy-looking tank bag with innovative quick-lock system; handy when you require extra luggage capacity. The quick-lock system allows quick and easy mounting/removal; especially handy when the unit has to

Oxford Heavy Duty Chain & Lock Price - From $79.95 With hardened 9.5mm thick square link chain, double locking padlock and hardened steel shackle which doubles as a disc lock, key dust cover, three keys and a key replacement service the

Yamaha Motor

See your local dealer or http://yshop.yamahamotor.com.au/ This is just a sample of what Yamaha genuine accessories has to offer for your Yamaha.

Aluminium Full Radiator Cover - Price - $183.83 Exclusively designed full radiator cover offering additional protection for the popular MT-09.

Protects original radiator from impacts by stones and debris and is made from a matt black anodized aluminium frame + matt black powder coated stainless steel meshes Akrapovic Full Exhaust System (Titanium) - $1499.95 Make your MT-09 look and sound even cooler! Made of high quality, heat resistant titanium alloys with the headers and link pipe made of stainless-steel. Features exclusively laser-engraved MT-09/Akrapovic logo, an exciting sound and design and is fully street legal if installed with optional catalytic converter – EC approved EU4 compliance.

be refuelled. Volume: 5L - expandable to 9L and you also get a map holder and extra side pockets for small items such as your wallet and mobile phone and the bag includes a hand carry grip at the front and a rain cover.

Oxford Heavy Duty Chain & Padlock will make sure your pride and joy stays right where you left it and isn’t that a great big bonus right there!

Oxford Premium Sports Heated Grips - Price - $149.95

Ficeda

www.ficeda.com.au R&G Tail Tidy Price – From $79.95 Tidy up your rear end! The easy to fit tail tidy from R&G constructed from 3mm Aluminium and powder coated in black is a must have for any bike.

Ergonomically engineered grip surface structures: soft, ultra-grippy diamond tread is inspired by race grips for comfort and feedback, moulded wiring arrangement is both durable and discreet, 1-piece moulded construction ensures unrivalled performance and reliability with the grip design fitting the vast majority of bikes out there, but can be cut down in size if required.

So go and make your bike even better, and have some fun while you do it. D

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TEAR OUTMAP#50

PORT AND BAY HIT THE ‘V’ IN SOUTH OZ WORDS STUART

Distance – 750km

T

his ride is a very casual and scenic route. Rather than ripping through corners this route virtually hugs the V shaped coast from Port Augusta, down to Port Lincoln and back up to Ceduna. It is a very lengthy ride if you wanted it done in one day but then you wouldn’t really be soaking in the sights, so make it two days – heading down to Port Lincoln on day one so you can get your shark on and up to Ceduna on day two.

This map also has more Ports and Bays than any other map I think we’ve ever run. As a bit of a rundown you’ve got: Port Augusta, Port Gibbon, Port Neill, Port Lincoln and Port Kenny. Now onto the Bays, they include: Lucky Bay, Arno Bay,

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PORT AND BAY

Distance – 750km

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t’s fairly hard to get lost along this route, as with the last couple of pullout maps we’ve done, making things simple so you can maximise the fun. This is sometimes the best way, not having to constantly look at your map or GPS every five seconds!

Head south out of Port Augusta on the Eyre Highway and continue straight around 25km out following the signs, “B100” and “Pt Lincoln”. The name of the road changes here to the Lincoln Highway which you continue to follow all the way down to Whyalla.

Continue on the Lincoln Hwy down to Cowell and then all the way down to Port Lincoln.

Once you’ve freshened up and/ or filled up head northwest on Western Approach Road which is a kilometre or so out of the main town centre.

This soon turns into the Flinders Highway which takes you all the way to Ceduna.

Options There are many options you can take for even more scenery along this route, just be wary of the sharks! Most of these routes are along dirt or sandy roads (but not all), so please keep this in mind.

We’ve highlighted them in Pink for you and they entail…

Cultana to Point Lowly Cowell to Lucky Bay Cowell to Port Gibbon Tumby Bay to Tumby Bay Island point (Harvey Drive) Poonindie to Point Boston Port Lincoln to Proper Bay Road and return Wangary to Kellidie Bay and Coffin Bay (Just don’t get in one!)

Port Kenny to Venus Bay Streaky Bay to Cape Bauer

Fuel Port Augusta, Whyalla, Cowell, Port Lincoln, Elliston, Streaky Bay, Ceduna.

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2/03/2017 10:20 am

of what is inside once you’re out on the route, with many plants being specific to this area of Australia. But you’ll know their names.

WHYALLA

Surprisingly, Whyalla is the third most populous city in South Australia after Adelaide and Mount Gambier. It is a seaport with the town known as “Steel City” due to its integrated steelworks and shipbuilding heritage. The port of Whyalla has been exporting iron ore since 1903.

COWELL

Grab some fuel if you need it, or get Lucky in Cowell by visiting nearby Lucky Bay.

TUMBY BAY

A typical attractive and pleasant Eyre Peninsula coastal town, of which you’ll find several along this route.

PORT LINCOLN

Tumby Bay, Louth Bay, Coffin Bay, Kellidie Bay, Mount Dutton Bay, Venus Bay, Streaky Bay, Smoky Bay and Laura Bay! I think it’s time for a port, so let’s start off in Port Augusta…

PORT AUGUSTA

A small but fairly major town in SA. Port has all the services you’ll need and has some nice sights to see, like the Australian Arid Lands Botanic Garden. You don’t need to be a plant lover to visit these gardens as you’ll see a lot THE BEST

IN BRISBANE

Claims to be the “Seafood Capital of Australia” and is a major commercial centre which means you can get just about anything and everything here.

Not only a beautiful township overlooking Boston Bay, Port Lincoln makes an ideal base to explore the coast and experience Eyre Peninsula first hand. Make your time here memorable by participating in one of the many exciting tours and attractions on offer in and around Port Lincoln and Eyre Peninsula.

Go shark cage diving (which is highly recommended!) or swim with Australian sea lions.

Dining out in Port Lincoln is always an adventure whether your taste ranges from traditional hotel fare, a night out at a specialist restaurant or a good old fashioned take-away.

Make sure to sample some of the fantastic seafood, seeing the place is the Seafood Capital of Australia – no

wonder there’s so many sharks! You can buy direct and cook up a seafood feast or dine out on the local produce.

WANGARY

More just a marker on the map in case you’re looking at doing the optional route to Coffin Bay.

ELLISTON

Another great place to go cage diving with sharks. You never know, Jaws might come and say hello to you, just don’t leave any brown stains in the water!

PORT KENNY

A very small town which is little more than a marker for this route if you want to do the Venus Bay option.

STREAKY BAY

A very pretty town, Streaky Bay has lots to offer like stunning scenery and loads of fish to catch. Try your hand at catching fish like King George Whiting, Blue Swimmer Crab, Snapper, Salmon, Flounder, Squid and many more species. Most services are available at Streaky Bay.

SMOKY BAY

Another small coastal village with great fishing. If you love oysters, Smoky Bay oysters are renowned throughout the world for their sensational “Sweet Ocean” taste.

CEDUNA

The name Ceduna is a corruption of the local Aboriginal word ‘Chedoona’ and is said to mean a place to sit down and rest and that’s what you’ll want to do as you’re at the end of this route, so it’s time to sit back and soak in all the wonders you’ve experienced. Ceduna, being a larger town along this route, has all you could ask for including a good campsite. D

The Pitstop Café, situated on the Mount Mee tourist drive, receives tourists, day travellers, bikers, clubs and locals alike. The Pitstop has perfect views with great coffee and excellent food.

2070a Mount Mee Road, Ocean View, Mt Pleasant, QLD 4521 07 34253652 Open Fri, Sat, Sun

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PUBOFTHEM ONTH

RATED 4 OUT OF 5 HELMETS

Yaraka Hotel, QLD Jarley Street,Yaraka, Queensland 4702 07 4657 5526 yarakaone@bigpond.com

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YARAKA HOTEL AT THE END OF THE LINE WORDS/PHOTOS COLIN WHELAN

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’m in Barcaldine and ring Chris the publican at the Yaraka Hotel.

It’s pissing axe-handles and the police are saying both roads in are impassable for anything other than powerful 4WD’s and that the bike won’t make it through. There’s no utes for hire in Barcy or Isisford so getting there in the morning is a problem.

“Stay where you are and I’ll ring you back within the half hour.” I ask Noeline at

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Winning the raffle On the way back with Byron, I realise there’s someone I have to catch up with: one of those ‘scanty… men of religion’.

Father Matthew Moloney spent two years heading up the diocese in Longreach and another two years in Blackall.

He reckons the biggest challenge for men of religion out here, like for the rest of us, is distance.

“In Longreach and Blackall, I’d do 40,000km a year driving around my area.

There’s less people but because of the isolation and the droughts, there is often a more urgent need for pastoral care.”

Out here the faiths help each other and work together, administrating to each other’s flocks. It’s co-operative, never competitive. Well mostly!

“In Muttaburra one time, the Anglican bishop had just been the day before I got there and they’d not gathered too many people, I think it was maybe seven.When I arrived to prepare for the Christmas Mass they asked if we should have the mass in the church but I said, ‘no’.Then they suggested the hall and again I said, ”no”, and I offered that we should have the mass out in front of the pub where the fete was going to be later. So we brought the seats to the front of the pub and I went into the bar and said, c’mon you people, bring your

the Railway for another light beer and she’s hardly handed it over when my phone rings.

“If you can get yourself to Isisford early tomorrow morning, I can get you a lift. Ken’s the publican at the Golden West hotel and his son’s been wanting to take a trip down here for a while and he’s free tomorrow.”

A quick call to Ken to make sure the story’s kosher and there’s a room free and I’m outta there. The storm’s

coming in from the northwest, probably born back up in the tropics.

In the late afternoon light the clouds and contrasts are stunningly threatening and I stop a coupla times to capture their beauty.

I can’t outrun it and the first drops, large solid noisy drops, hit my visor with 60km still to go. But it’s still 28ºC and I’m in engulfed in a high pressure warm shower for the rest of the trip.

beers and come outside.We got about 70 people out on the street in front of the Exchange hotel. We had people praying and celebrating and having a beer and I was very happy with the turnout.”

But that wasn’t the best part of the night for this holy man.

“Later at the fete,” his voice begins to sparkle, “you wouldn’t believe it, but I won the meat raffle!”

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P UBOF THE MONTH

As I park the bike under the awning, a young fella comes out.

“You must be my hitchhiker for tomorra.

I’m Byron, mate, Ken’s son. Can I help you get sorted?”

In the bar the locals ask how far back it’s been coming down and how heavy and where was the water over the road.

Rain talk’s good talk.

Byron’s been looking for an excuse to head down to Yaraka and Mt Slowcombe and I’m it. He wants to leave early in the morning in case it all goes pearshaped in the rain so I tell him how grateful I am, that I’ll be more sociable after some sleep and take my kit back to my room.

The next morning we shake the dags early to give ourselves a time cushion if it all turns to mush.

We cross channels of the Barcoo a couple of times. Earlier rains had lifted the water to the bridge at one crossing and we just hope it won’t rise too much before we come back.

I’d never heard of Mt Slowcombe or its views, and Byron hadn’t heard about the reason I was so keen to make it to Yaraka. The tall mesa stands out from the surrounding plains for a good half hour before, some 5km short of the town, we turn west and head to the steepest road for hundreds of kilometres. The view from the top is stunning in every direction.

I head to the western side of the lookout and scan the view. I’ve stumbled across something for which I’ve been searching for years.

One of Paterson’s most unforgettable couplets is from “Clancy of the Overflow”: “And he sees the vision splendid of the sunlit plains extended, And at night the wondrous glory of the everlasting stars.”

I’ve been blessed with many evenings under the ‘everlasting stars’, but I’ve been obsessed with finding such a vision of the ‘sunlit plains’ untainted by some human structure.

Each time I think I’ve found it, some buggers’ve put in a road, or a shed, or a station or a fence or a powerline.

But not this time.

I share my reason for coming with Byron.

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One word: Unforgettable Only the best pubs have publicans like Chris and Gerry of the Yaraka Hotel.

Not many places will organise you a lift in from hundreds of kilometres away or will organise you a quiet sanctuary to write a dissertation or a thesis.

Only the luckiest pubs have owners who are fully aware of the history that is in their hands, of the story of their place and their position in the expansive surrounding picture.

Very few towns have cops who can’t wait to welcome riders to their patch, who insist on knowing your planned route and your scheduled time of return so they can look out for you.

There’s hardly a village in Australia that turns on free camping and a free swimming pool for them that turn up.

And there’s damn few places where every single local is up for a chat and a bit of advice if you’re seeking it.

But Yaraka, at the end of the line, south from Isisford, west from Blackall is one such!

So much of my standard list of questions is irrelevant in such places: Secure parking? Sure, just leave it out front with the keys in and it’ll be secure!

The pub, in tandem with the rest of this town of 12 rated into the four helmet category and easily scored 5/5 for unique character (incl that of its owners!) Keep watching these pages and I’ll let ya’ll know when that last stretch is sealed and you can load the swag and head out for an experience that’ll stay with you forever.

In 1893 Banjo Paterson wrote one of his most popular poems, The Bush Christening. It begins: “On the outer Barcoo where the churches are few, And men of religion are scanty, On a road never cross'd 'cept by folk that are lost, One Michael Magee had a shanty.”

The remains of Michael Magee’s wine shanty are around 70km west of the Yaraka Hotel and it’s this poem, these

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P UBOF THE MONTH

lines, that’ve lured me to this pub in a town that proudly portrays itself as the end of the line.

The road curves around the end of a railway line and then past two yapping dogs in a yard and the Yaraka Hotel is on our right. We haven’t seen another vehicle since we left Isisford and there’s none in front of the pub.

A bloke who seems too well dressed for this part of the world comes down the steps to meet us. I guess he’s Chris who sorted my lift and he guesses I’m Colin and the chauffer must be Byron.

There’s one other person on the balcony and so Chris introduces us to Ian. If we’re heading west, Ian could do with a lift out to his property.

Turns out that the remains of Michael Magee’s shanty are on Ian’s farm and if we can give him a lift back to his homestead, he’s doing nothing so he’ll guide us out to the ruins and to a noteworthy grave nearby.

He doesn't want us to join the ranks of ‘folk that are lost’.

It’s all too easy but with the sky full of moisture and the temperature already nearing 40ºC, Chris reckons a storm will boil up in the arvo so best get out there soon so we top up the water and move.

The red sand gives way to the grey claypan. A pair of brolgas eyes us, chattering. Two days ago this was underwater and we would’ve been snookered. It’s spongey now, but passable by 4WD, beyond me on the Super Ten. There’s not a lot to see at the shanty. There’s a cairn with a plaque surrounded with bits that visitors have found in the dust. As I’m photographing, Byron finds an old bottle neck with the stopper still attached and adds it to the collection.

Thunder rolls in. It’s still far distant but we need to be moving. Ian leads us back to the main track where we part company. Ahead the sky is clear and we’re pretty hopeful we’re going to get out dry. The afternoon sun draws out every drop of the land’s harsh beauty.

Back at the pub, Alan’s standing at the rail having a yack to Chris. In 2009 Alan was at the top of Mt Slowcombe driving around the country in his ute,

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looking for a place to live. Bob, the postie from Yaraka happened to be up there admiring the view and they got talking, Bob knew a place for sale down in the town. Alan checked it out and bought it. In his tie-dyed shirt, his anarchistic hat and flowing beard, Alan resembles an older Grateful Dead fan frozen in time.

Seems like most of the town’s 11 people drop in during the afternoon, and it’s getting a bit crowded for Alan, a bit noisy so he excuses himself as Doug (the local cop) at the end of the deck empties his glass.

Can I get him another? He passes.

Pacing himself.

“If you’re a country cop in Queensland and you’re in a one cop or two cop town you have to always be under point zero five. If you’re on duty you have to be zero point zero but even when you’re off duty you have to be under oh five.”

Doug’s a rider, got a Suzuki cruiser which he leaves with a mate over at Blackall to avoid being flooded in.

Georgia’s looking after the bar so Chris has time for a yarn.

In the mid-eighties his wife Gerry was sent out to Yaraka school as the Headmistress and for ten years they lived in the town. Their initial affection turned to a real love for the country out here.

“Once you cross the Barcoo,” says Chris, “you always return.”

But Gerry was transferred to Beaudesert and a school with 750 kids where she stayed until 2013 when they both thought about retirement.

That same year he got a call from Les Thomas, the publican out here. Les was ‘over it’, - the last 12 years running it on his own had been too much and he asked Chris if he remembered a conversation from years back when Chris’d said that if he ever felt like selling the pub, to give him first option.

“We spoke for a while and I hung up and went back into the lounge and told Gerry that I’d just bought the pub at Yaraka. First of all she didn't believe it but when I convinced her, she was very happy and very supportive.”

Not long after they took over, they had a call from Matthew Moloney, the priest from Longreach. Matthew was writing a dissertation on the effects

of the drought on faith in outback communities. He was in need of a quiet retreat to focus on this writing, did Chris know of anywhere?

For four days the next week, Father Moloney was quietly typing away in one of the accommodation rooms out the back of the Yaraka Hotel. In the serenity of this town, he composed a paper which he presented to a conference in tropical Bundaberg on the social effects of the harsh conditions out west.

A few months later, Gerry put through a call to the priest. As one of the very ‘scanty men of religion,’ would he consider coming back to Yaraka for a baptism?

Well of course he did and so 122 years after Banjo Paterson had penned, “A Bush Christening" and centred it on a wine shanty on the banks of the Barcoo, Father Matthew Moloney from Longreach performed a similar ceremony up on top of Mt Slowcombe for the grand-daughter of the owners of another grog shop on the ‘outer Barcoo’.

The rains mean I can’t stay the night so Chris takes me on a tour of the rooms, the free swimming pool down the road and the free camping nearby. I could tell you about the rooms and the rates and the facilities and the meals but take my word, it’s all good!

Besides, there’s bigger news for bike riders. In the first week of February, the Longreach Shire Council began the work to seal the final 13km stretch of dirt between Emmett and Blackall. Weather permitting, the work will be done by July and all riders will be able to reach Yaraka on all bikes in all weather.

In anticipation a new bloke has taken over the General Store and he plans to be selling fuel in time for the opening of the “Outer Barcoo Way”. It’s destined to become one of the classic rides of outback Australia.

I tell Doug the sealing will mean he might get busy. Enough time’s passed for him to’ve had a second, and he downs a swig, looks at me and after a sec or two delivers his verdict: “As far as I’m concerned the more riders who get out here the better.”

And people wonder why I love riding out here! D

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24/02/2017 6:37 pm

The Ultimate Riding Machine

Introducing the Heritage family, based on over  years of BMW Motorrad.

The R nineT, a bike made for realising your own custom vision. The Scrambler, celebrating the unconventional. The Racer, reviving the ’s superbike era.

The Pure, a bike reduced to its essentials. And the Urban G/S, a return to the very roots of the G/S legend. This is the R nineT family - Boxer Heritage in five acts.

Find out more at bmwmotorrad.com.au

R nineT

R nineT Pure

R nineT Racer

R nineT Scrambler

R nineT Urban G/S

bmwmotorradaus

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BIKE TE ST

YAMAHA XP530 TMAX ‘IRON MAX’ABS MAXING OUT ON THE T WORDS RALPH PHOTOS HALF LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHIC

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ou would want to see bold claims backed up with big supporting arguments when someone tells you that the Yamaha TMAX is the best scooter on the planet. But that’s what I am telling you.

I have ridden almost every scooter past or present in the market place so I know these weird automatic CVTdriven contraptions like The Bear knows how to fill out (blindfolded) his leaving Australia declarations and Stuart has worked out the art of never paying for front tyres. I know this because I never feel like my left foot is missing some action the moment I Twist and Go.

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Dynamically nothing comes near the 530cc twin cylinder Yamaha. There is a near flawless drive emanating from the punchy centrally mounted engine through the best CVT system I’ve used. Immediate, creamy drive flows through the tooth-rubber belt to the 15 inch Dunlop. Open up and the revs are free to swing around to 4500 as the engine winds up first and the speed catches up. And doesn’t it catch up! If single cylinder 650 thumpers are like chainsaws that can just cut through six-inch pine timber, then the 530 feels like it can effortlessly smash through hardwood. It almost sounds like a four-stroke chainsaw too, from

the bark of the Akrapovic muffler fitted to our tester.

Sublime as the smooth transmission and the grunty engine are, the XP530 becomes a real package when you consider that the steering and suspension are every bit up to this class act. Turn the 15-inch front and the steering and stability are as close to a motorcycle’s as you would ever want and there is enough ground clearance to give a lot of motorcycles a good run for their money on any smooth and twisty road. The suspension has brilliant control although it does favour the firmer side of compliance and, with the short but

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proper swinging arm arrangement, annihilates any other scooter for predictability with control.

By now you might be wondering if the TMAX is more bike than scooter. Apply the redhot twin disc Monobloc’s and there is no doubt that Yamaha is applying motorcycle technology to its scoots. Give it a tank full of fuel and there will be no need for a break; the T has the goods for touring, especially with its decent wind protection and the relaxed foot-forward riding ergonomics.

The under-seat storage will hold a backpack stuffed full of computer gear, camera and a change of clothes

as well a spare pair of shoes so it is almost more ute than scoot and better than any bike lacking a decent top-box. Almost the dynamics of a motorcycle yet the convenience of a Maxi scooter; doesn’t there have to be some compromise somewhere on this thing?

The elephant in the room is price, which is a couple of grand more than an excellent bike like the MT-09. This is, of course, a ‘great’ bike but it is not the ‘best’ bike in the world, while I think that despite the price the T Max is the ‘best’ scooter on the market. It’s worth every cent. This is despite the keyless system, which without reading

the detailed manual might not be as intuitive as a sixty-something year old needs. I could always read the manual, I suppose. There is a little wavering around at more than illegal speed, an effect which is a combination of sitting up on rather than in the scooter and 15inch wheels. I can live with that.

Once you get over the sticker shock then the list of quality features help to remove the gagging in the larynx.

The LED lights blaze their way into history joining a Ducati Multistrada and the K 1600 for the best illumination on a dark night. The Iron Max special seat is already a winner

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BIKETEST

SPECS YAMAHA XP530 TMAX ABS

along with the twin struts that hold it open. More nice touches abound indicating the thought, execution and refinement that being the best requires.

I liked the mirrors, dash, control levers and even the matt panels.

Without going into the quality build or the ‘what’s it got’, the TMAX just about covers every base once the starter button is pressed. It will cruise economically, try 4.2L/100km unless

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you can’t help yourself. From 40 to 140km/h, it is more comfortable than ninety percent of motorcycles and eats traffic, freeways and inspiring roads.

On top of that it has the added bonus of doing everything exceedingly well - other than adventure touring on gravel roads.

That, my friends, is as close as you can get to an all-rounder in the old vernacular and not just for those who might like to give their left foot a rest or need to stretch out. The quality won me over as much as the ride. I just didn’t want to stop riding! Top step, Yamaha. D

PRICE: $13,999 (plus on-road charges) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 10,000km or 12 months ENGINE: Liquid-cooled 2 cylinder, 4-stroke, DOHC, 4 valves per cylinder BORE x STROKE: 68x73 mm DISPLACEMENT: 530cc COMPRESSION: 10.9:1 POWER: 33.8kW @ 6750 rpm TORQUE: 53.0 Nm @ 5250 rpm TRANSMISSION: CVT V-belt transmission, Rubber-Tooth Belt final drive SUSPENSION: Front, 41mm USD telescopic fork, travel 120mm. Rear, monoshock travel 116mm.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 800mm, weight 222kg (wet), fuel capacity 15 litres, wheelbase 1580mm TYRES: Front 120/70R15, Rear 160/60R15M, FRAME: Die-cast Aluminium Diamond BRAKES: Front, twin 267 mm discs with radial mount four-piston calipers.

Rear, 282 mm disc, dual-piston caliper.

ABS system FUEL CONSUMPTION: 4.2 litres per 100km, premium unleaded THEORETICAL RANGE: 330km COLOURS: Moon Silver standard or SE Liquid Darkness VERDICT: QUALITY TO THE MAX

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reader rides

Central Europe and Balkans Short and sadly not-so-sweet Mishaps and Hospitals Far Away from Home Words & Photos Robert Crick

“But little Mouse, you are not alone, In proving foresight may be vain: The best-laid plans of mice and men Often go astray, And leave us nothing but grief and pain, For promised joy!” (Robert Burns) “No, little mouse, you have me to say That your plight can carry a day

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When motorcycling abroad Can also easily go astray.” (Robert Crick)

E

nough of literary allusions.

But they help, as do historic memories. Why should I feel too dismayed when so much premature grief came to the likes of Aristotle, Alexander, Caesar, Richard the Lion

Heart, Napoleon; and, well, Toby Price – but, of course, for him it was by no means terminal. I’ll ride with Toby.

The Planned Trip

This was to be the pinnacle of almost a dozen overseas motorcycling adventures. This was

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my plan so meticulously crafted: 8,000km, fifteen countries and six major mountain ranges over fortyseven days. And, just for good measure, Jeremy Clarkson’s declared “best road in the world”: the Transfăgărăsan in Romania.

Of six participants, five would do six countries, three would do

four and two would do all fifteen.

The five of us started the ride in Ljubljana, Slovenia, and headed through Austria and the Czech Republic. There was a corner of Slovakia to cross before entering Poland and going back through Slovakia to Hungary. Three of the five left the ride in Budapest and

one other joined it. The three of us were then to ride through Romania and Bulgaria to Macedonia, from where the new rider would return with his bike to Ljubljana. Finally, the remaining two of us would venture into the little traversed countries of Albania and Kosovo before taking in Serbia, Bosnia

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Herzegovina, Montenegro and Croatia. Every country and stopover had been researched. The political labyrinth of the Balkans had been explored as thoroughly as personal talents permitted. A detailed, scenic, motorcycle-roads route, with accommodation and travel notes, had been created for us by our supplier and guardian, Adriatic Moto Tours of Slovenia.

It was, indeed, a well-laid plan that promised much joy. But it did go astray; and left much grief and pain, at least for me but, thankfully, not for the others, all of whom completed the plan.

I got to ride Slovenia, Austria, the Czech Republic and into the north-west corner of Slovakia to about a kilometre short of the Polish border before involuntarily opting out.

But more of that drama later.

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SETTING OUT IN CENTRAL EUROPE

Ljubljana, a vibrant and colourful city with a history dating back to Roman times and a bustling central square neatly hugging the Ljubljanica River, provided a near-perfect place to recover from the long plane journey from Australia, take in the sights and atmosphere, and still have time to collect the bikes from Matej at his Adriatic Moto Tours depot.

That left nothing to do the following morning except get up and ride!

AUSTRIA

It was open, flat and bright green countryside that drew us, fresh and expectant, into the foothills of the Austrian Alps and onto the university town of Graz, Austria’s second largest city; but not before going through Bleiburg, whose name is infamously associated with the repatriations at the end of

the second world war of tens of thousands of former Axis-allied Croatian soldiers and civilians to the Serbian partisans. Thousands were murdered or sent to forced labour camps.

Despite a later-than-planned arrival in Graz, owing to a few navigational glitches, we still had time to see some of the wonders of this UNESCO world heritage-listed city before celebrating our first stop-over with fine Italian dining and local wining (yes, Italian – only because it was there).

Next day introduced us to the core of the Alps. The climbs, with their twists and turns, would have been exciting enough without encountering road closures at the top of a pass. Thank goodness there were only five of us to debate the options. After some typically alpine riding we approached Salzburg just

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at that time on a Saturday afternoon when the whole city seemed to be returning from a spectacular day’s outing to whatever summer spots attracted them. It was a slow, hot ride into the city, but well rewarded by the sight of its dominating Hohensalzburg Castle and an evening in one of its highest enclaves enjoying an orchestral concert of Mozart and other Austrian composers.

Crossing the Czech border was the next task. Hardly a task. If you weren’t paying attention, you might not have even realised you crossed it. Just before the border, we stopped for lunch at a bakery in a small village, where parishioners were hurrying into their Sunday mass at the village church over the road. Another memento caught our attention: a small marble memorial dedicated to both world wars and commemorating fallen soldiers from the village. Emblazoning the memorial was the familiar outline of the Iron Cross. Just a little different to what we’re accustomed to see at such memorials at home. I couldn’t help wondering how many of the

soldiers might have died at the hands of our own troops.

CZECH REPUBLIC

The first stop-over in the Czech Republic was another UNESCO world heritage town: Cesky Krumlov.

And what a gem it is. A compact thirteenth century town nestled tightly into a horse shoe bend of the Vltava River – the Czech national river made more famous by Smetana’s great symphonic Ma Vlast (My Homeland), one of whose parts is Vltava, capturing the flow and characteristics of the river from its source near Cesky Krumlov to its mouth further north. Just outside the horse shoe, across the river is the town’s over-sized castle casting its controlling shadow on the old town.

Although the Vltava flows to and through Prague, our destination for the following day, we parted company with it to ride a huge eastern loop though forest-covered mountains and across tributaries of the Vltava, finally re-joining it as a beacon leading us to the treasures of Prague.

We spent two nights in Prague to allow a full day sightseeing in this

city, said to be the equal of Paris in terms of beauty and having the best beer in Europe. From the moment we parked the bikes, there was no holding us back from our own evening walking tour of the old town, taking in the famous Charles Bridge – one of some ten that cross the Vltava in Prague, the spacious and encircling town square and the views of the towering castle across the river; all seductively lit adding a warm atmosphere for the many couples ambling along the cobblestones and across the Charles Bridge.

Our day in Prague began with the novel experience of a private Segway tour; after first being taught how to control this unfamiliar form of a two-wheeled vehicle. It wasn’t long before we ventured further with our guide and crossed over to the old Jewish Quarter of Prague, which shared haute couture retail houses with the ancient synagogue and cemetery of a long past period in Prague’s history. On the other side of the river, the Segways easily carried us to the heights of the Prague Castle and its neighbouring

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palaces and parks. Our guide promised a coffee stop, which turned out to be our first sampling of the renowned Czech beer! The rest of the day was comfortably and fascinatingly spent immersed in everything Prague.

Leaving Prague – and only up to the 6th day on the road – we made our way across Bohemia and into the old Moravian lands to their historic capital of Olomouc. Its main attraction – and a worthy one – is its largest square with the UNESCO world heritage Holy Trinity Column. A very pleasant dinner on the perimeter of the square, with a full view of the City Hall and the Trinity Column quietly fading from the glow of the setting sun, capped off another absorbing day.

Little did I know that this would be my last supper on the motorbike tour. It’s a little surreal now looking back and notionally transporting myself into my own body sitting on the square in Olomouc sharing yarns, experiences, food and wine with my four fellow travellers, chafing at the bit to welcome the morrow and get back on the bike to briefly traverse Slovakia and end up in Krakow, Poland. I’d planned a three-night stopover there to spend a day visiting Auschwitz and a day exploring Krakow itself.

SLoVaKia

We duly left Olomouc, crossed into Slovakia and stopped just across the border at a forlorn little restaurant in the village of Makov. In anticipation of preparing a video of our trip, I took the trouble of filming the other riders as they rode from the restaurant towards the well-signposted turn-off to Čadca leading to the Polish border crossing for Krakow. The name Čadca didn’t mean anything to me at the time. We wouldn’t even go through it.

The road to Krakow by-passed it. But as I write, it’s as familiar a name as any town abroad or in Australia.

ABaNdoNiNG the ToUr

Forget Čadca for a minute. We were negotiating some major construction works of an overhead motorway and so were riding cautiously on a lesser road that wound its way through the

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construction before breaking out into more open country and passing a sign indicating the Polish border was a couple of kilometres ahead. I recall being excited in anticipation of crossing this particular border. But it was not to be.

On a slight uphill incline, as we rode pretty much in line, a slow, small car towing a trailer was making its way along the road. The bike in front overtook it. I pulled out to do likewise; and was well into the overtaking lane when the driver abruptly turned across the road to enter a private driveway. In doing so, he put himself right across my bow. There wasn’t much strategic planning going on in my head, I recall. There wasn’t time. I think it

was instinct-driven self-preservation that had me turn sufficiently to avoid making contact with the larger, hard object that had placed itself dead in front of me. At least I succeeded in doing that; but ended up going full speed (actually it wasn’t that fast,

mercifully) into a creek whose bridge across the road was awfully close to where I entered the creek.

It’s an horrific feeling to suddenly see a vehicle in front of you and know you’ve got few options, if any.

I clearly recall saying to myself,“oh,

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no!” It’s a bit depressing when looking at photos taken after the event and particularly the site in Google maps to see that, at least in theory, turning into the driveway ahead of the car might have been a safe escape. But it all happened in something akin to a nanosecond. It seemed so, anyway.

Not having bumped my head – so no concussion – I clearly recall, in addition to going into the undergrowth and down the bank of the creek, the immediate aftermath: ending up separated from my bike, sitting up in the bottom of the creek in its slowly flowing water in considerable pain; Hondo, the rider immediately behind me, scrambling down the embankment, having to fight his way through thick (and prickly, as I later found out) undergrowth, and encouraging me with soothing comments; discussing with my friends contacting my travel insurance company (and telling them where the papers were) and contacting family at home; eventually (but fairly promptly) being engaged with the investigating police officer, Miloš (Mil-osh), – I remember reading his name on his shirt and calling him by name; and the paramedics having trouble getting their stretcher down the encumbered embankment. I guess they dosed me up soon after reaching me. Hondo told me later he and they had a discussion about my weight, height etc. as they calculated the dose they would deliver. Perhaps fortunately, I don’t recall being lugged up the embankment; but I can recall being in the helicopter as it took off for the hospital in Čadca.

My next recollections are in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) of Čadca Hospital.

ČADCA HOSPITAL

Čadca is a district town of only about 25,000 – so maybe about the size of Alice Springs. The good news was that the hospital obviously serves a much bigger catchment area so was better equipped than one that might have expected. It dated from

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the Communist era; and seemingly well back into it. Its architecture, plumbing, inside fit-out, lifts and a deal of its equipment all spoke of a bygone era. However, it was wellendowed with the latest CT scanning equipment; and medical and nursing staff were obviously well trained.

By the time I became a little more compos mentis in the ICU, I had been through a CT scan and had already been diagnosed with multiple rib fractures, a fractured clavicle (collar bone) and collapsed lungs. I had tubes emanating from each side of my chest draining intrusive fluid from my lungs and was hooked into an oxygen supply. One thing I wasn’t doing was moving; not an inch or centimetre. So long as I stayed still I could limit the pain from the fractured ribs and focus on the challenge of steady breathing.

It soon became clear that communication was a major issue.

None of the nurses spoke English. A couple of doctors who visited now and then had a fair smattering. Some of the nurses had a little Russian with which I had some familiarity with from a previous incarnation.

There are also a few words common to both Slavic languages. It was incumbent on me to start picking up essential Slovakian words, for example, quickly learned was kakkie – which I assumed was baby talk for poo-poo, as it was the key to getting a bed pan. There were several other less “basic” words that became useful to know.

Being in a pretty sorry state – I suspect it was the collapsed lungs that were the main contributor to my lingering incapacity – nothing much seemed important other than staying still and quiet; and waiting it out. I slept a lot, which helped pass the time; more during the day than at night, which made the nights long, slow and annoyingly uncomfortable.

The worst time of day was the morning sheet-changing and bedbath. As I was rolled from side to side during the process, it seemed that every broken rib – some still attached to the sternum; some

Great Friends Can’t be too critical of social media. It was instrumental in my having my sole visitor over twenty-six days in hospital (apart from my riding companions who stayed in Čadca overnight to make sure I was settled and okay).

Alex is a Facebook friend who lives in Krakow, about 150km from Čadca. He’s Ukrainian whose permanent home is Kiev.

He and his then partner, Lyudmila, who is Russian, were on their own motorcycle adventure riding from Kiev to Magadan on the Russian Far East coast of Siberia when they met up with riders on the Compass Tour from London to Magadan. That was a few years back. They all rode together for the last six days into Magadan, with Alex and Lyudmila helping the Compass team with language and other problems. I “met” them through a friend who was on the Compass tour. Alex and Lyudmila had their own travel Facebook page which caught my interest.

Time moves on and life changes. Alex and Lyudmila parted company. Alex returned to Kiev and Lyudmila stayed in Magadan, her home town. Eventually, Alex married; and Maria and he have brand new twins.

They moved to Krakow a year or so back for Alex’s work.

Alex and I planned to meet while we were in Krakow. That didn’t happen. A little later I sent him a message explaining why I hadn’t turned up. Not to be deterred, Alex and Maria made a weekend visit from Krakow to Čadca to visit me, bringing a much-appreciated cache of goodies – a very welcome supplement to the hospital’s ascetic fare.

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kind, attentive and supportive. The nurses in ICU in particular showed this from the efficient and sensitive way they administered their duties to the gentle way some would caress my cheeks with the backs of their fingers or brush my hair back, at least notionally as there’s not much there to brush back. The standard of care and concern was no less in the trauma ward. In both places we would always find ways to break down communication barriers.

One of my lingering memories will be how amazingly blissful can be the smallest of comforts in the right circumstances: droplets of water in a parched mouth; being rolled onto my back at the seemingly never-arriving completion of the excruciating daily process of sheet changing; the first natural pee after the catheter was removed (in contrast to scrubbing of my legs during a bed-bath, flicking away the invading catheter which then sent an exponentially increasing wave of movement to its far end); the first sitting sideways on the edge of the bed with legs dangling over and eventually sitting in a chair; the first cup of tea even though weak and barely tepid. And so much more.

I was eventually declared well enough to make the journey home.

The main issue had been waiting for the lungs to reach a stage where a long-haul, high altitude flight was safe. So, on Day 26, I briefly returned to the ICU to make my final farewells – and was greeted like a long-lost brother; said good-bye to the trauma ward staff and set out for home.

Romania to Istanbul Adventure 16 days

TOUR DATES

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Ride two of Europe’s best roads - Transfagarasan Road and the Transalpina.

I can’t deny I felt a touch of nostalgia as I rode down the rattling lift with its manually operated exterior doors and no inner doors; when I walked out through the ambulance bay where I would have arrived from the helipad; and when I looked back at the imposing if stark Communist-era architecture that houses the hospital. But it was time.

INSURANCE

Ah, travel insurance. Never leave home without it, as they say.

Fortunately, I never have. And you would never want to. After several overseas tours and hundreds of dollars of claim-free insurance premiums, my day of consolation had arrived.

On the positive side, it was comforting to get a phone call soon after hospitalisation from the insurance company checking on me, offering good wishes and providing supportive comments.

On the other hand, despite being confident that my insurance was in order and fully covered my medical and hospital situation, it was disconcerting to be told several times that no confirmation of “coverage” could be given until certain boxes had been ticked by the insurance company; and this news was being received while in a state of some consternation over injuries. They needed the police report, the bike rental agreement, a copy of my licence and a few other things that now slip my memory. This went on for too long from the perspective of someone coping with the pain and mental trauma of a serious accident.

13 years

HUNGAR HUNGARY

Sibiu

Sighisoara Brasov Tulcea

ROMANIA

Pitesti

Bucharest

SERBIA Veliko Tarnovo Ve o

ALBANIA

detached through breaks in the cartilage – screamed out their objection to being disturbed.

I’m not sure I’ve ever felt anything like it before.

Slowly, good things were happening, although I mostly didn’t appreciate that until much later reading my notes from the time. I had a few scans over the first week or so. Improvement in my lungs became evident so that on Day 7, one of the two draining tubes from the side of my chest was removed (and the hole stitched up). On Day 8, they got me sitting on the side of the bed, standing and taking a few steps – with a nurse on each side. Sitting up drained 300mls from my lungs so increasing capacity by 300cm3. That was a big leap forward.

By Day 12, I was sufficiently mobile, walking several metres, both draining tubes out, that I was moved out of ICU to a trauma ward.

Here I mended further and recuperated for another two weeks, allowing more strength in ribs and clavicle; and lots of exercises to increase lung capacity.

Leaving the ICU, although indicative of appreciated progress, was like leaving friends and family.

Everyone was coming over and saying goodbye and offering best wishes. I was asked to email to let them know that I got home safely.

Several made me promise that when I come back to complete the tour I'll call in to say 'hello'.

Although there were restrictions on engaging fully with nursing staff because of the communication barrier, everybody was very caring,

Sofia

BULGARIA BULGARI

Plovdiv

MACEDONIA A

BLACK SEA

Kavarna

Nesebar

Istanbul

GREECE

TURKEY Gallipoli

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I guess the insurance company has its processes; and in the end there wasn’t a problem. The moral of the story, though, is to make sure and be confident that your insurance covers you for what you need and want before embarking on an overseas tour – or any overseas trip for that matter.

I’d have to confess that my focus had been on ensuring the insurance covered motorcycle riding on the size and model of bike; and having the required licence and riding gear. These, of course, are the first and essential requirements. Not all travel insurance covers bikes larger than 200cc or 250cc. And travel agents can be gung-ho in selling you travel insurance without considering any special needs the traveller might have, such as motorcycling. It becomes a matter of caveat emptor – buyer beware!

What I had overlooked were subsidiary issues such as the excess on the comprehensive insurance provided by the bike hire company and the costs of returning an injured bike to the depot. These are matters covered

by all travel insurance companies for most four-wheeled vehicles but not necessarily for two-wheeled vehicles. There wouldn’t have been much I could have done about it in any event. In subsequent research I found only one company that covers these aspect for motorbikes; and it’s likely that will change when the company’s agreement with its underwriter is eventually revised.

What I have found is that there are several companies that will cover motorcyclists on any size bike; more than I expected to find. However, as mentioned above, there are many that won’t. There is also a range of issues and exceptions relating to motorcycle use across companies.

To further complicate the situation, there are variations in the travel insurance policies of several companies who all have the same underwriter.

You must check the current Product Disclosure Statement of the company you’re considering; and, in addition, check for updates or

revisions. These are usually printed as an addendum to the PDS. Readers might find it helpful to check the results of some reasonably extensive research I undertook on return from my truncated tour. You can find it here: www. motorcyclemeanders.com/travel_ insurance_88.html The PDF document referenced at the end of the page has a detailed analysis of what various travel insurance companies offer.

WHAT’S NEXT?

That’s a hard one to answer. I’m not deterred from getting back on the bike. Toby Price will – and has done so in the past after a much worse experience. But I’m no Toby Price, so it may take me a bit more time with a lot more caution. But it will happen.

Just need a bit more resilience at the fracture repair points and a bit more fitness.

As for completing the planned trip, in the words of one well-known Central European, “I’ll be back.” D

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WHERE’STHEBEAR

W

elcome to our new geography puzzle! As you’ve probably realised by now, I take a lot of photos when I travel around.

Now a lot of those pictures are just sitting in our files, waiting for – perhaps – a story they’ll illustrate in some way. Well, they have rebelled and they want a chance to shine in these pages.

I’ve folded, in my usual courageous way, and you’re reading the result.

All you need to do is work out where the photo was taken and drop me a line at contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com. au or PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111. The winner will be drawn from responses we receive until the end of the month on the cover. That means you have about 6 weeks, which should be plenty of time to give Google Street View a workout!

from flat to around 32 psi and the rear to around 28psi in two (2) minutes (Tests run on a BMW R1200GS). It is capable of pumping over 100 psi!

The MotoPressor Pocket Pump can be used to inflate tyres, top adaptors: a direct connect for your battery and alligator clips, both with SAE connectors. All this packs small into

off your air shocks, air forks, inflate airbeds or anything else, anywhere, anytime, over and over again.

the included heavy duty neoprene pouch. If you miss out, the pump is

Okay, time to let rip with The Bear’s latest

available from your local dealer and

hangout. In Where’s The Bear #2, I’ve

direct from Rocky Creek Designs,

chosen another easy location – especially

www.rockycreekdesigns.com.au .

for Ulysses members! Get to it, that

The MotoPressor Pocket Pump will

wonderful little pump could be part of

pump the front tyre of your motorcycle

your riding equipment very soon!

And here’s a bonus: if nobody comes up with the actual location where the photo was taken, we’ll award the prize to the closest guess. So here we go:

Save your breath Win a MotoPressor Pocket Pump!

This is a great little pump. Ultra compact, this stripped down pocket pump weighs in at only 590g and fits in the palm of your hand. Built around a custom modified 12 volt inflator. What it lacks in looks, it makes up for in performance and functionality – which is what you really need when you’re stranded in the middle of nowhere. And yes, we do use one ourselves.

The MotoPressor Pocket Pump has a 63cm long inflator hose, with a screw on delivery valve that fits all bikes. A long 2.65m power cord comes with two

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eVe NT

International Island Classic We ride in a right royal event

Words Stuart Photos Half Light Photographic

T

he trip to Phillip Island coming down from Sydney is always a big trip. It’s not just like going to Melbourne; you need to add that extra couple of hours on top. Those who have made the trip will understand what I mean but when we headed for the Island for Alex to race at the Island Classic on the beastly FZR1000 and the wild GSX1100 for Team Ireland we took the scenic route which added a couple of more hours but we stopped overnight in Healesville which is a pretty town full of character.

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We arrived on the Thursday for practice, but unlike previous years the overbearing security at the gate wouldn’t let us in, whereas in previous years we’ve rocked up and been able to do half a days practice with no problems – not this year. We were told to come back at 3.30pm if we wanted to unload the bikes. A quick call to the circuit and we were allowed in and allowed to practice as per previous years, but, enough of the whinging!

Practice went well, both bikes performed beautifully for the very

limited number of laps Alex ran them. Scrutineering was fun, people surrounded the FZR wanting to check it out, and our plan of playing with people’s minds certainly worked a treat! Hahaha!

Roll on to Friday morning and our easy practice day turned to crap. In qualifying, the GSX spewed oil out all over the rear tyre, which Alex still rode, “having fun getting sideways” so he told Chris and me! The problem was coming from the cam cover and the rear breather. These Period 5 Unlimited engines are built within an inch of their lives and breathe extremely heavy, yet even with three breathers, oil still pumped out. So Chris and I got on with stripping the bike, cleaning everything, getting a new rear tyre and hopefully having the issue sorted.

Now it was onto the FZR for qualifying, poor Alex only got half a lap when the ignition switch failed and since this meeting doesn’t have rolling grids (where you start where you finish)

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27/02/2017 4:57 pm

Alex had to start rear of grid each race.

Alex was first reserve rider for Team Ireland in the International Challenge (IC) and after one of the main bikes failed, Alex got the call up from team captain, Mike Meskell. As we were still fixing the GSX, Alex missed the first round of qualifying for the IC but we had it ready to go for the second round of qualifying where Alex went out in the Slowest 50% due to no running in Q1. Again the GSX spewed oil out destroying another rear tyre, but a positive was that Alex was the fastest.

So, we then had to strip the bike again, clean, fit another rear tyre (think of the cost adding up here!) and we had some very clever heads thinking through what we could do to try and fix the issue. The consensus was to run the third breather back into one of the other breathers and hope for the best. It worked.

After a hard day’s work pulling both bikes apart and sorting issues we had a few cold treats on the Friday night, let me tell you!

Saturday and Alex got 9th and 4th on the FZR, which was pretty good from the rear of the grid. In the IC, Alex had more issues. Of all things, the seat blew off ! I didn’t think dinner had been that bad the night before! In the second race, Alex moved his way up to 14th.

On the final day’s racing, Alex got 3rd and 4th on the FZR and second fastest speed down the straight – not bad considering this was the bike’s first race meeting. But, in that final race Alex was just a little bit cheeky and moved up the grid a few spots.

He received a ten second penalty for his cheekiness. This put him back to 7th in that race and 5th overall for the meeting in Period 6 1300. Alex missed out on 3rd overall by one point and had he not moved up the grid, he would have easily still finished in 4th and got 3rd overall. From the rear of the grid (in three of the races anyway) this was a pretty good result for the FZRs first meet.

The final two IC challenge races on the GSX we had bloody ignition switch fail on that bike, too! Alex had moved up to 11th at that stage and in the final race he was given team orders to help some of the other Irish riders get more points. Overall, Team Ireland secured 3rd place for the second year in a row, but more importantly the team was closer in points to the main two teams – Team England and Team Australia.

Had Team Ireland not suffered as many problems as they did, the results would have been a little different.

As much as the problems we had with both bikes were a downer, it was more the excellent time we had getting away with great mates and great friends in the paddock that really made the Island Classic a fun event for us. Despite the entrant numbers being way down, the crowds were huge and the racing was exciting to watch. Mark down Australia Day next year and get to the Island for classic bikes and classic fun! D

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MOTORCYCLISTTOUR 10 ** L AST CHA NCE ! **

DAY MAN FULLY Y FR ES EE I CORT NCL ED USIO TOU NS R

FLY TO THE BIRDS

OMAKA CLASSIC FIGHTERS AUSTRALIAN MOTORCYCLIST MAGAZINE / SOUTH PACIFIC MOTORCYCLE TOURS

Book on our South Pacific Motorcycle Tour and the first 5 Riders will score a Giant Loop Columbia Dry Bag from our friends at AdventureMoto valued at $247.50.

Don't leave home with out one!

W

e’ve had a lot of requests for our 2017 New Zealand tour and here it is! We’ve picked South Pacific Motorcycle Tours to run this one, specifically because of this fantastic tour they offer, including the Omaka Classic Fighters event.

If any of that gets you going, you’d better hurry and book your spot! You also get Peter “The Bear” Thoeming as your special host rider.

TOUR BOOKING & DATES…

South Pacific Motorcycle Tours www.motorbiketours.co.nz office@motorbiketours.co.nz Ph: +64 3 312 0066 Skype: ride.nz Depart - Christchurch Saturday 08 April 2017 Return - Christchurch Monday 17 April 2017

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KEY POINTS FOR THE TOUR ...

RIDING TIMES: 9am-4pm approx with breaks throughout the day for lunch, coffee, activities etc.

DISTANCE: 2500kms approximately REST OR RIDE: Blenheim for Omaka Classic Fighters Airshow – video: https://youtu.be/QGwi3ogieNU RIDER COMPETENCE: For riders with safe motorcycle control in all situations ROUTE GRADE: 100% asphalt, some challenging sections, multiple mountain pass switchbacks/hairpins MOTORCYCLES: South Pacific Motorcycle Tours has late model bikes from various manufacturers for you to choose from, in different sized to suit all types of riders.

SUPPORT VEHICLE INFO: Tour guide on a motorcycle plus support vehicle with enclosed luggage trailer.

WHERE YOU’LL GO…

10 Day Omaka Classic Fighters Fully Guided AMM Tour - Easter 2017 Arrival Day: Fri 07 April Christchurch Hotel Check-in and Happy Hour Day 1: Sat 08 Christchurch to Mount Cook National Park Day 2: Sun 09 Mount Cook National Park to Queenstown Day 3: Mon 10 Explore Queenstown/ Queenstown to Wanaka Day 4: Tue 11 Wanaka to Franz Josef Glacier Village Day 5: Wed 12 Franz Josef Glacier Village to Punakaiki Day 6: Thu 13 Punakaiki to Nelson Day 7: Fri 14 Nelson to Blenheim Day 8: Sat 15 Spectacular Omaka Classic Fighters Airshow Day 9: Sun 16 Blenheim to Kaikoura Day 10: Mon 17 Kaikoura to Christchurch D

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

24/02/2017 12:12 pm

TR A VEL Art above all!

POSTIE NOTES 13 STOP PRESS – AIRLIE BEACH EXPLODES WORDS & PHOTOS JACQUI KENNEDY

I

n this instalment of Postie Notes, my darling little postie bike Mo will not be the centre of attention. And even though I met up with fellow postie rider Steve, he won’t get a mention until a future Postie Safari tale. This episode is all about the tourist capital of Australia – or so it says on the Whitsunday brochures.

Airlie Beach is the jumping off point

for the Whitsunday Islands and most other activities on the Great Barrier Reef. You name it, you can probably do it from here.

Normally I am the first one to run screaming from the first sign of overcrowded tourist hotspots but this

Who do? Seadoo!

Captain Jacqui all at sea.

was different. This week exceeded my expectations by blowing them clear out of the water.

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tr a ve l

Anybody seen Nemo?

The main drag at Airlie Beach houses several backpacker hostels interspersed with pubs and cafes and trendy looking cocktail bars. Along the water’s edge is a well-kept park and a funky public lagoon where children were happily frolicking. Every second shop is a tacky cheap souvenir vendor or a booking agent for the gazillion tours with sandwich boards crowding the footpath. Sounds like a nightmare but it wasn’t. It had a different kind of energy, like an adrenalin junkie’s heaven. Unlike Hervey Bay which was overcrowded with somnambulist grey nomads, Airlie Beach was exploding with youthful energy and potential. I drank it in and, like any good drug, it stimulated my nerve endings with anticipation.

This is NOT the place to come and sit by the pool and read a book. This is where you come to get the blood pumping; get a spring back in your step; wash away the office drudgery and dive into new experiences.

This is where you come to get an infusion of adrenalin which makes the tips of your fingers tingle - and then each day you find a new activity to top

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it up just a little higher. Soon enough you are addicted.

The fun started at a gentle pace.

Whitsunday Cruises transported me and 200 passengers on a large cruiser out to the Reefworld pontoon. The sea was quite choppy and some of the patrons were losing their morning tea along with their recently swallowed sea-sick tablet. The young crew were skipping around the boat handing out sick-bags, oblivious to the angry sea and the bucking deck.

The pontoon is moored permanently on Hardy’s Reef, an hour offshore on the edge of the drop-off. [Finding Nemo reference #1]. At one end of the pontoon there is an underwater glass viewing chamber through which the entire marine spectacle can be observed in mesmerising silence. You can snorkel or scuba dive out along the drop-off marvelling at the sights.

It is quite incredible being up close and personal with a clown fish, or inches away from a giant clam or a sea turtle. I wish I had had a waterproof camera to capture the look on my face when I encountered a Moray eel less than a metre away. To view such a

vibrant ecosystem from within leaves you breathless. How anyone could contemplate dumping mining dregs here is inconceivable!

I have seen glossy pictures and watched David Attenborough on telly, but nothing prepares you for the full reality of swimming through a school of a thousand fish.

After a sumptuous lunch and an afternoon of frolicking, the day trippers headed back to the mainland.

Those of us lucky enough to be doing the Reefsleep stay on board the pontoon enjoying a lavish BBQ and watching the sunset in blissful serenity.

Overnight guests sleep on the open deck in swags under the stars and wake to a stunning sunrise over the Great Barrier Reef.

The next day, back at Airlie Beach, I was taken by Jetski Tours on a jaunt around the harbour exploring the coves and shipwrecks. Brimming with over-confidence (and missing my postie bike) I threw myself wholeheartedly into every turn. The weather was glorious, the wind and waves at a minimum and the conditions for fun were perfect. We spotted a pod of

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27/02/2017 12:46 pm

Four wheels better than two? Surely not!

dolphins, including a baby, and some inquisitive turtles.

That afternoon I was treated to the Wings Mini 4WD Adventure.

Drivers take Polaris buggies around bush tracks, up steep climbs and along dry creek beds, weaving through the forest, spitting you out at the challenge area. It has been brilliantly designed to throw a little bit of everything at you: two tyre hops, a log crawl, an off-camber track and a steep hill tempting you to go airborne, and a huge mud bath.

Like Mo, the buggies are virtually indestructible. They are permanently in 4wd and with low torque, they just

make mincemeat out of any terrain.

By testing the buggies’ limits I was able to challenge the limits of my driving skills with total confidence.

One last adrenalin boost for the week was Ocean Rafting, a fast inflatable capable of tackling the rough waves. The young lads full of bravado, sitting on the inflatable edges were mimicking riding broncos - and the grins were wider than ever!

After a spot of snorkelling, we climbed one of the islands to get the iconic photo of Whitehaven Beach. Pure white silica sand which never gets hot underfoot and if it

Hmm, they don’t seem to cater for little bears.

gets struck by lightning it turns into lechatelierite.

After a wonderful buffet lunch, a laze on the pure white beach and a swim in the turquoise ocean we were ready for another rollercoaster ride home.

By virtue of the popularity of my blog (postienotes.com.au) the week’s accommodation and activities around the islands were offered to me free of charge as a media famil but rest assured that the above is a true and accurate review from an experienced adrenalin junkie.

Now where did I put my trusty sedate little postie bike? D

0 0 2 2 + years

formerly Ferris Wheels Safaris

Kashmir, Taj Mahal, Himalayan Heights 21 days: World’s Highest Road

Life is a DARING ADVENTURE or nothing at all ! www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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t e C H N I C a l ...KIND OF

WHICH BIKE FOR ME?

WORDS THE BEAR

I

t’s a common question, and it deserves a thorough answer. So let’s just put my qualifications for writing this article right out there. What have I done, considered and learned that makes me some kind of authority?

Well, let’s see: I’ve owned something over 60 bikes. The Alzheimer’s is stopping me from remembering them all, but at one stage or another they come back as flashes, sometimes of pleasure but more often of horror.

Keep in mind that among the bikes I have actually bought with my own money were at least four HarleyDavidson WLAs, which proves that if nothing else, I do not learn from my mistakes.

One of the most interesting experiences I have had with a

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motorcycle was the attempt to turn my BMW R 75/5 into an RS. I bought an aftermarket RS fairing, fabricated my own frame and mounting points from strap (not scrap, you there, giggling in the background) aluminium and fitted the fairing myself. The resulting vibrations and rattles added a whole new level to the riding experience. A downward level. Despite the absolutely appalling results, I still customise my bikes, which should be convincing proof that I simply don’t know what I’m doing.

This particular bike was also the subject of another customising attempt when I bought a couple of water-proof speakers and fitted them into the fairing along with a Walkman cassette player in an attempt to have music wherever I went.

The result was not quite as bad as that achieved by one of my acquaintances who fitted an early CD player to his K Series bike and promptly rode it to a rally along the Tanami Track in the Northern Territory. The bike became famous as an early DJ, skipping along and between tracks at random to produce disjointed disco numbers.

My sound system actually worked until the Walkman was stolen, although I couldn’t get anywhere near enough volume out of it to make it audible on

Make sure you ask your knowledgeable friends for advice.

the road. As well, the multi-coloured wiring harness I had constructed for it remained as one of the ugliest things ever seen on a BMW motorcycle, except perhaps the “Sinus Green” colour which was available on RTs for a short while.

I think BMW still has a couple of the snot bikes at the back of the warehouse, hidden behind all the cases in which new gearboxes were supplied.

When proper and functioning sound systems became available, originally on the Honda GoldWing, I think, I discovered that I didn’t really like music as I was riding. Silence was actually my preferred companion, partly so I could hear the rattles caused by my customising efforts.

I was a pioneer in other ways as well.

Before the current helmet headsets and communication devices became available, I fitted a CB radio to one of my bikes. This was so spectacularly inconvenient that this nearly overshadowed quite how useless it was – unless you were interested in learning a completely new language in order to be able to understand what truck drivers were saying. Ten Four, buddy.

Come on.

But let’s let the customising go for

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27/02/2017 4:46 pm

Never be afraid to ask for an opinion.

Hey, is that seat comfortable?

now – there’s plenty more, but you want something useful, don’t you?

Buying bikes has always involved an emotional decision for me. Just once that worked out, and that was when I bought my Kawasaki Turbo. Actually, that’s not true. My very first bike, a Honda CB250, was also a great buy. On just about all other occasions, I went wrong in some way. Take the Ural 650 I acquired brand new for $800 – I had just missed the ‘one cc per $’ deal. The brake shoes had to be replaced with ones from a VW Beetle before the brakes would work, and if you wanted any real stopping power you had the brake drums re-ground, too. And I didn’t even get the free bottle of vodka that other, slightly less unfortunate buyers assured me they had found in the toolkit. Mind you, once it was sorted it wasn’t a bad bike in its own way. It was just that its own way was… well, its own way.

I have owned nearly a dozen British bikes. The Hinckley-built ones have been fine, although that first Tiger I bought was definitely too high for me.

I fell over the one time I had to bumpstart it, and believe me you do not want one of those bastards lying on top of you. But the earlier bikes were pretty much all disasters. The S700 Silk had a syphon cooling (or perhaps warming) system and would seize up – a couple of blocks away from home on a hot day, a couple of miles away on a cold day. The BSA Gold Star needed the attention of a GP mechanic to keep it going; needless to say, such a person was rarely available to me. I’ve written about my much-lamented Royal Enfield Crusader before.

And I’ve built outfits, four or five at last count. The less I say about those the better; hardened BMW Club members have been known to weep when I tell them what I did to my R 90 S in this process. Goodness, I’ve become distracted again, haven’t I? It’s the lime cordial, I’m sure.

Don’t be distracted by irrelevant appearances. How does she get those boots on?

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technical

So, when you walk into the bike shop – I’m tempted to say before you walk in, but in that case all common sense will be chased from your mind by the acres of shiny paint and chrome on view anyway – make sure you consider the following points as you look around: •

•

•

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What sort of riding will I be doing? If you’re going to commute, you need a slim, light bike. If you’re going to tour, you need something more solid with a bigger tank. If you’re going to pick up chicks at nightclubs, you need a sports car.

What size bike can I manage? Big bikes are all very well, but when you’re pushing the bike around, for example, when you’ve run out of fuel you will do better if you stay vertical. Likewise, if your feet don’t touch the ground when you’re sitting on the bike, you will need to find somewhere to ride where you don’t have to stop.

How complex do I want my bike to be? Can I do my own maintenance, and how close is the dealer when I discover that I’ve re-installed something backwards

•

• •

and caused thousands of dollars’ worth of damage to the engine?

What impression do I want to make on my mates? Here’s a tip for that: if you can’t pronounce the brand name, don’t buy the bike.

What will the resale of the bike be once I’ve buggered it up?

And finally, and perhaps most importantly of all, how much can I afford to pay? Keep in mind that buying a cruiser commits you to spending thousands on bling, while an Adventure Sport machine will require you to ride it on a regular basis in desolate, terrifying and lonely places where recovery operations will be outrageously expensive, especially if they involve a helicopter.

Any Italian bike will require you to completely overhaul your wardrobe; be careful and check that your feet will fit into pointytoed cockroach killer shoes.

Once you’ve thought all this through, perhaps with the aid of an Excel checksheet on your laptop, discuss your choice with one or more knowledgeable

Motorcycles fulfill a variety of purposes. This one appears to be a mobile toilet.

friends. Then go and buy the shiniest bike on the floor.

There you go, then. I hope this little article will help you to make up your mind about the next bike you buy. If nothing else it should make up your mind that I, despite all my experience, am probably the wrong person to ask.

Keep the shiny side up, unless your tyres are so worn that they are shiny, in which case they will probably be on the upper side of the bike pretty soon anyway. D

Waddaya got?

To be fair, I should list what occupies my garage at the moment. There’s a Sachs MadAss, only slightly modified but with the clutch hanging out; a Vespa 946; a Ducati Scrambler carrying a catalogue full of bling; and a Harley-Davidson Sportster 72. And I love them all!

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

27/02/2017 4:47 pm

USED &REVIEWED

STARBOY

Ixon Starbust one-piece suit Price - $999.95 Turning me into a star would be a hard process but I guess so long as Alana and the kids think I am, I’m content. But when the lovely folk at Ficeda sent me over the Ixon Starbust, my man boobs instantly turned into stars!

Seriously though, the Ixon Starbust one-piece leather suit is a mid-priced race suit that looks stylish and comes with many great features.

Of those great features the main one would be the CE approved armour which is placed in the knee/ shin area, hips, elbows/forearm and the shoulders. A CE approved back protector is available.

Next would have to be the wonderful

number of perforation that this suit has. Anyone who wears a full leather suit will know that you get pretty damn sweaty on anything but a cold day so having masses of perforation worked beautifully when I wore this suit on a forty degree day at the recent MT-09 launch.

Despite the perforation, the leather is thick and supple which makes things protective and comfy at the same time. There are plenty of stretch panels so you’re not stiff as a board and the suit comes with an

aerodynamic back hump, rubber shoulder protectors and plastic knee sliders.

Fit is quite sporty, I found the wrist and lower leg closures to be very snug, perhaps even a little tight, but backing off the zip a touch fixed that. Finish is excellent so if you’re after a mid-priced one-piece suit, this Ixon is well worth checking out.

The Starbust suit is available in two colours – White/Black/Silver or White/Black/Yellow and sizes XS – 4XL. I took the 4XL which allows

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U S E D &R E V IE WE D

plenty of room for a back protector as well.

See your local bike shop or www.ficeda.com.au for one of these practical suits. SW

JOIN THE EVOLUTION!

Ventura Evo Sports System Price - $529 A bag is a bag is a bag, right? They only have to find a place somewhere on the back of your bike and be a bag, right? So a potato sack, ocky strapped to the back seat will just about do the job, right?

Yes, that is so last century, actually 1970s in my case! These days, rear bags attached via frames or loops or straps have to not only be functional and hold a decent amount of gear

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but also need to be good-looking and aerodynamic.

The last Ventura pack system I used was half a dozen years ago. I hooked it up to a VFR1200 (didn’t everyone have a VFR1200 then?) and I found that it quickly became indispensable.

I could carry everything for a week or more and once I managed to squeeze a 125cc Honda engine in the 40L bag.

Why? Because I had to.

Like most things that start out good, these things just get better and the new Evo system from Ventura is a definite step along the ‘things getting better with age’ path on the way from good to excellent.

I like the fact that the Evo now holds its shape because the whole pack is lined with a material that not only

stops the pack from collapsing into that empty bag look but also helps the durable, laminated ballistic Cordura fabric remain waterproof – and, frankly, better looking. The red zippers and the neat outside pockets were useful for the shakedown run to the Snowies Ride late last year. I’m also a fan of massive reflective slashes and as an Ad-guy the branding works for me as well.

The biggest plus is that Ventura has made the metal rear tubing loop on the bike redundant and that is good news for cranky old knees and joints as well as your pillion.

Kenma (www.kenma.com.au) also supplied the 10L bag for which I have not had a use yet but it’s a worthwhile unit just in case my needs don’t extend to the full 40litres, or I’m travelling on a sports bike where the look fits better.

The EVO bag comes with the newly designed rack system which took exactly six minutes to fit to the Honda CB1300 and is adjustable in four positions. After years of using Ventura systems it took me a weekend to get used to the idea of no loop.

Lovely and simple, and lots of product designers can learn from the KISS (keep it simple, stupid) principle that Ventura has applied here. RLM D

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

27/02/2017 1:39 pm

WATCHED

FILM REVIEW. KINDA

21 DAYS OF… WELL, ER… WORDS THE BEAR

Peter Fonda hated the Captain America chopper he had to ride in Easy Rider. It was anything but easy to ride, and after a day’s filming he reckoned he was totally wrung out by the need to muscle the bike around with its wildly-extended forks.

So here we have four blokes, two of whom deliberately built choppers with wildly extended front forks, who ride across America in 21 Days Under the Sky. All the bikes look scrappy, they’re all loaded with luggage tied to the sissy bars (one nearly falls over, which is probably the tensest moment of the ride) and one breaks its frame (I think) on a perfectly ordinary sealed road. No wonder the ride took them three weeks.

I may be wrong about that broken frame; every now and then I had to hit the crew button and ask for

another bourbon and ice to make this experience, er, bearable. They welded up the frame in one of those intensely annoying fast-forward sequences designed to allow more time for soulful rappin’ over a roadside fire.

The film itself is just as pretentious as the title; fortunately, it only took 75 irreplaceable minutes of my life, not 21 days, and I watched it on a flight where the best alternative was Suicide Squad, which is frankly only terrible. I watched that on the way back.

The film is a documentary in the same way that a Donald Trump press conference is a recital of facts. Let’s start with the fact that I detest most documentaries made by invisible fairies or leprechauns or something. I mean, you and I both know that there was a camera crew, but the film nevertheless relies on fake problems such as running out of fuel. Couldn’t the crew van carry a jerry can? Oh, yeah, I forgot, they’re invisible.

Highlights of the film include a visit to Bonneville where the salt is covered in water. Our friends ride it anyway, soaking their bikes with salt water.

Meanwhile, the annoying voiceover assured me that “the aerodynamics of the salt flats alone made your bike move at mythical speeds." Maybe the leprechauns helped, not only with the speed but also with rust prevention. To be fair, the riders are shown cleaning their bikes with a high-pressure spray

Hey, when are we gonna smoke some dope and visit a whorehouse like Peter Fonda?

afterwards. It’s a wonder the rough wiring withstood that.

There’s some moderately nice photography, which is not surprising considering the project was created by photographer Michael Schmidt. In fact, seeing that a photographer was involved there should have been a lot more nice photography. How can you not get brilliant footage of four choppers traversing the Lincoln Highway? And the film still relies on largely irrelevant old 8mm movie footage and Dave Mann paintings for much of its visual impact.

I looked pretty hard on the web to see if my reaction was just me, and that there are perhaps depths to 21 Days that I was missing. It didn’t look like it, or perhaps everyone who has reviewed the film just shares my tastes/prejudices.

The review from American website RideApart noted that “The filmmakers toss in some character development to help us understand that these guys are not just dirty bikers, they are guys who choose to follow a dirty biker lifestyle.”

I’m not absolutely sure what character development there was, mind you.

When the riders weren’t silhouetted against the sky, either broken down or just taking a break from wrangling

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WatcheD

those enormous front forks, they were shot from the front or the rear while riding on a desert road. Or they were rappin’ with some bros. There was a lot of rappin’ with weird-beard bros, one of whom cut up the seat on one of the bikes with what looked like a Bowie knife and made a new one from multicoloured rubber. A new seat, not a new Bowie knife.

At least the film does not pretend that bikers riding long distances with only one shirt (a triumphal point is made of this at one stage) attracts nubile young women in skimpy t-shirts. There’s only one of them, and she appears right at the beginning to sew a patch on one of the riders’ jeans. The rest of the time there’s, well, those weird-beard bros.

I found myself hoping for a bit more footage of the seamstress.

The RideApart review by Woody Wood also managed to get some quotes, which I failed miserably to do because I was sitting in an Economy seat and choking on my bourbon and ice while trying to stifle my snorts of annoyance so as not to wake my fellow passengers, instead of taking notes. My favourite is right at the beginning, with "...put more down, and think far less.

Get over the finer details and do one frivolous no good thing, one nothing more than the idea of it. Forget the words adventure, epic, legend; ban them from the present life you lead. For it doesn't start as an adventure, it begins

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with a risk." Well sure, hey, my bad!

How could I miss that?

When I write that the film is like an unfortunate hybrid of O.C. Choppers and On Any Sunday I am probably praising it undeservedly. It’s better than the first and far worse than the second, with a voiceover indicative of the consumption of a whole bunch of illegal substances, none of which were, unfortunately, amphetamines.

A final quote, once again transcribed

by Woody from RideApart: “I don't know what it is about the feel of the bike, but there is a certain range of power that you're in, and it just feels so nice. I don't know... It's not even about the speed you are going, you could be doing 75mph and the way the motor feels at that range, it feels, eh, it’s kind of an indescribable feeling..."

Indescribable, come to think of it, is a good word for 21 Days Under the Sky. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried.

What is it about bike films and TV shows? Why do we, the riders, usually end up being freaks? There are exceptions, of course, with a few films like On Any Sunday and Girl on a Motorcycle (ahh…) being exceptions. But even if the riders aren’t freaks, the bikes are. Check the episode of Battlestar Galactica where whatshisname and his sidekick thingo go riding on what looks like Yamaha Turbos fitted with their own weight in unnecessary and ugly fairing parts.

Hey, Pete, you gettin’ any movement at mythical speed there? Oh, sorry, that’s not Bonneville.

I mean, the most normal person I can think of who rides a bike in a fictional movie is Arnold Schwarzenegger, and he’s a robot.

Oh, and Anthony Hopkins as Burt Munro, I guess. The rest, with names like Teenage Devil Dolls, Savages from Hell and, God help us, The Mini-Skirt Mob are, er, somewhat unlikely to include characters like you or me. Unless you happen to be a member of Satan’s Sadists. Even if you are, avoid The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini. I’ll tell you the story behind that some other time.

Just a final good word for Easy Rider.

Despite some of its unlikely premises (how much fuel do you think would have fitted into Peter Fonda’s peanut tank once the tubing with the money was in there?) and its shop-bought impressions of Southerners, it told a terrific story, featured some wonderful music, gave us the inimitable Jack Nicholson in a football helmet and – take note, Schmithy – outstanding photography.

Even if both films lied about how easy it is to ride a bike with insanely extended forks.

Hey, maybe I should review more films while consuming endless supplies of bourbon… D

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27/02/2017 2:12 pm

lOnG teR MeRS

YAMAHA MT-09 TRACER ADD SOME BLING TO THE ZING

O

ne thing I have liked about the genuine Yamaha range of accessories that has been made available for our Tracer is that while they help to give it some bling, they also do more. Just about all of the accessories serve some type of function – as in the three following accessories which help protect the beautiful paint and exposed areas of the Tracer.

We fitted the Knee Tank Pad $70.97; Carbon Frame Side Covers - $123.58 and the Logo Frame Sliders - $344.48 which have really jazzed up the look of the Tracer while serving to protect it should bad things happen!

The tank pad (one for each side) is carbon look which took a minute on each side to stick on. The carbon frame covers are actual carbon fibre and again took about a minute to stick on.

Yamaha does provide alcohol wipes so that the areas are clean as a whistle for maximum adhesion.

The frame sliders took about ten minutes each side – the hardest part was making sure I had all the spacers and different length bolts in the right spot. Maybe I should have read the extensive fitting instructions beforehand! Grab all of the genuine Yamaha accessories from your local dealer or visit https://yshop.yamahamotor.com.au/ SW D

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NEWINTHESHOPS Peter Stevens store, MCAS (all locations), most regional bike shops and of course, online at www. xenonoz.com . Or write us a letter and score a pair that way!

GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!

PICK YOUR EAR…PLUGS

MotoSafe new range Alpine Hearing Protection has released a new range of earplugs for three types of motorcycle riders.

First is the MotoSafe Tour : ideal for tours, holidays and on the highway.

Second comes the MotoSafe Race : ideal for on the highway, the circuit or with an open helmet, and finally the MotoSafe Pro which contains a complete set of MotoSafe Tour and MotoSafe Race earplugs. Ideal for different uses and choosing the attenuation level yourself.

All of us here at Australian Motorcyclist use and highly recommend the Motosafe products and this new range looks to be even better. “What did you say”? To purchase at a new lower price of only $22.50 for the Tour and Race or $39.95 for the Pro, visit your local

Kenma Online Catalogue Browse all of the delightful products available from the awesome crew at Kenma online and for free (download). Their 2017 Kenma Catalogue is available online now.

Recommended retail prices are included with each product. Our keyboards have gone into meltdown from the drool! To

download, visit www.kenma.com. au/downloads/2017%20Kenma%20 Catalogue.pdf

GIVE YOUR GROM A CAB

Oggy Chain Adjuster Brackets - Price - $119 The new addition to the Oggy product range, the CAB “chain adjuster brackets” are now available

for the Honda Grom MSX125.

An Australian made solution for motorcycles manufactured without bosses and threads for stand pickups. The easily fitted CAB brackets will allow use of, and are compatible with race stands of any type.

CAB replaces the standard chain adjuster axle plates with an Aussie made billet machined anodised bracket which includes the pick-up knob, in beautiful black silver or red anodised finish for durability.

Available for a range of models and not just for Groms, see the full range at - www.kenma.com.au/oggy_ knobs.html

WHEN YOU STUFF IT, FIX IT

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Mini Pump AUTO CUT-OFF

» Select pressure, switch ON and the pump automatically switches OFF when the pressure is reached

5

» Displays in PSI, BAR or KPA » Pumps to 50 PSI WA RRA » Actual Pump size: 13 x 17 x 5.5cm » Light weight and portable - weighs only 497g YEAR

Kinetic Technology International SA2G personal locator beacon - Price - $279 postage included One of our lovely readers, John Hall is now the Aussie distributor for the Kinetic Technology personal locator beacon (or EPIRB). John had a small bingle on his property one day with Skippy and thought about whether it had all gone pear-shaped and he wasn’t able to ride, he could have possibly died in that very spot, so he did some research and the KTI PLB turned out to be the best.

The unit weighs 140 grams, fits into the palm of your hand and has a carry pouch with a Velcro strap that

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the highest quality fastening tools in the world including; wrenches, drivers, pliers and sockets.

But when you’re dealing with threaded nuts and bolts, there is only one tool that can keep your job on track - the GearWrench Ratcheting Tap and Die Set. Developed to cut and form new threads for both nuts and bolts with ease, the GearWrench Ratcheting Tap and Die Set is the tool to use when cleaning and chasing old or damaged threads.

The ergonomic ratcheting ‘T’ wrench boasts a 5 degree ratcheting arc with a reversible lever designed to eliminate the need for hand-over-hand turning.

The GearWrench Die adaptor is compatible with both round and hex shaped dies and the patented Twist Lock guide system has been developed to reduce “back walk’ on the die guard. The Tap adapter is also safe to remove thanks to the ‘T’ wrench’s inbuilt auto-locking feature.

Available in a 40 piece set for either SAE or Metric threads and a combined 70 piece set which comes complete with both SAE and Metric taps and dies.

GearWrench’s Ratcheting Tap and Die Drive Tool Set is available nationally. Visit www.gearwrench.com.au for more information or to find your nearest retailer.

The Kit includes the MotoPressor Mini Pump with Digital Pressure Gauge and all the power leads and connectors to run from your motorcycle battery or a mini jump starter, packed neatly into a sturdy carry case.

ASK FOR IT AT YOUR LOCAL DEALER OR BUY ONLINE

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N E WINTHESHOPS

wraps around your arm.

In the event of an incident, the unit is quite easily demounted from the pack on the arm, the aerial extended and the unit activated. After activation the battery life is 24 hours. If not activated, the batteries require replacing every 10 years. When a unit is purchased it has to be registered with the Australian Maritime Safety Authority for it to be effective.

Registration is free. When you register, the names and phone numbers of 3 contacts are given and in the event of an emergency these people are contacted first to see if they can do a recovery. If they can't, an emergency response unit is activated, including helicopters, SES, Fire and Rescue and Police. The accuracy of the units is about 3 metres and has 64 unit GPS signal capability. For any more info, visit the KTI webpage, www.KTI. com.au The units were designed in Australia and are manufactured in Melbourne. It is a great plus that we have this technology right here and built here. To purchase, drop John a line at buckerooster@hotmail.com

SHARP AS

Arrow exhausts for Triumph Bonnies - Price $1649 per pair Link International has been unwrapping slip-on left and right-side reverse-cone mufflers for Triumph’s new T120 series of Bonnevilles to complement the recent arrival of the slip-on mufflers for the Thruxton and Thruxton R. Both types of mufflers are made from Nichrome Stainless Steel, an extremely durable steel used for making the jet pipes in turbine aircraft engines. These road-legal mufflers are noise compliant to ADR 83.00 and feature a removable

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dB killer for “closed course or competition use”. See your local bike shop or visit, www.linkint.com.au

WILD EYES

Orbit Vision and Orbit Prism 7" LED Headlamps - Price - $249.99 $299.99US Utilising the latest in advanced LED technology to deliver a one-two punch of function and style the Visions and Prism headlamps feature a colour temperature of 6000K for intense, uniform light output with extremely low current draw.

Both integrate an outer LED halo ring that provides additional visibility and “wow factor.” The Orbit Vision emits a full-time bright white halo, while the Orbit Prism includes a Bluetooth controller that syncs with a spectrumbased app to create infinite custom halo colours. The Orbit Prism’s downloadable app is compatible with most iOS or Android mobile devices for quick, easy operation. Users can create multiple displays and custom colour cycles, including pulse modes that sync with songs through the

device’s media player and microphone.

The app also connects with device cameras for easy photo-colour referencing and display. To purchase, visit www.kuryakyn.com

YOU’RE A SAINT

Saint Unbreakable 6 jeans Price - $700 The Unbreakable 6 is claimed to be a world first, namely a waist to ankle - single layer jean that meets the rigorous CE Level 1 professional European motorcycle test standards for abrasion, impact and burst resistance.

Saint has done away with Kevlar and other linings by weaving its denim using a unique double warp beam and blending the world’s allegedly strongest fibre - UHMWPE - with cotton. The result is 360º torsional strength - motorcycle tested CE Level 1 impact, burst and abrasion protection, cut right and a pleasure to wear. Visit www.saint.cc for more. D

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AUSTRALIAN MOTORCYCLIST MAGAZINE BACK ISSUE/S - PO BOX 2066, BORONIA PARK NSW 2111 Please send me the following back issues at the cost of $12 each including postage:

______________________________________________________________________________________________ Name _________________________________Phone Number _______________________________________ Address ____________________________________________________Email Address __________________ Card Number:

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25/01/2017 11:57 5:44 am pm 23/02/2017

reader s’travel

Going back in time Going for gold at Oberon Words/photos Bob Wozga

J

ust over the hill heading west from Sydney is the little hamlet of Hartley.

Once the judicial centre for the region, only a few sandstone buildings remain: the courthouse, the church and a cottage. It’s a reminder of our colonial times and the work convicts did in the penal colony. A little further is a road turning to the left that leads to

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Jenolan Caves and Oberon. The road winds around hillsides and climbs onto the ridge line, where you find solace in the sound of your engine and warm summer air blowing on your face.

The area west of the Great Dividing Range has been settled for over 150 years with little hamlets dotted along highways and farm houses in fields.

People lived, worked the land and survived with far fewer luxuries than we have today. The social scene would often revolve around the local hall or church such as the one in Lowther.

People would make the effort to get together to exchange stories of their week, what the weather is doing, how their crops are going, what’s the price

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27/02/2017 4:51 pm

of hay etc. They appeared to have had more regard for each other than we have today.

Scattered along these roads and localities can be found old churches, halls and memorials to the fallen of the first and second world wars. Some have inscriptions of more recent conflicts.

Some memorials are still maintained,

others are left as a reminder of a bygone age and the young men that left their farms and family have been forgotten. It may sound morbid; however, it is worth stopping at these memorials, halls and churches to have a look around and get a feel of the history of the area. It gives an indication of the age of the settlement

and the population if you look at dates of death and also the rate of decline of the area, again by the dates and how few are inscribed in the later years. The architecture also gives an indication how prosperous the area has been in its heyday. Some built in stone, others built from wrought or corrugated iron.

Leaves and twigs are thrown in front

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r e a der s ’ tr a ve l s

of me as a cross wind buffers my bike on the ridge road and cattle trucks pass with forlorn eyes staring through gaps in the trailer rails as the cattle are transported to the sale yards. It’s a hot day and a storm is beginning to brew in the west. Wispy clouds will later give way to dark clouds and with it, cooling rain. With a bit of luck I might get some reasonable photos of the storm front.

The landscape around me changes as I follow the dotted lines from grass fields to pine forests as I get closer to Hampton. The Hampton Hotel looks deserted today while renovations are being carried out, it should look good and be a welcome stop for a weary rider once it is complete. In the hamlet, the service station street light remains with its logo of a long forgotten petrol company. Abandoned, the bowsers sit, surrounded by furniture and other odds and ends. It’s a reminder that these were once welcome stops for travellers on their way to Jenolan Caves or the fossicking fields surrounding Oberon.

On the outskirts of town two wind turbines spin in the breeze. I’ve never been close to one of these before, they emit a soft low pitched hum as they spin, you can hear it when close to it but not from far away. They also look far better than giant chimneys billowing acrid smoke.

Heading closer to Oberon, road signs caution you to be vigilant of logging trucks. These trucks fly past hauling huge piles of pine trunks from the forest to the mill. It’s amazing how much turbulence is created when they pass you and you need to keep on your toes. As the sky begins to grey, Oberon comes into view. A small town with a wide main street crowded with cars, a few pubs and coffee shops, there always seem to be bikes parked out the front of coffee shops in these places.

I’m getting the impression riders can smell a coffee bean from a hundred k’s away. More known for timbre and trout fishing, those with rocks in their heads can also explore Oberon for gold,

Main street of Oberon

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Run! In the opposite direction!

sapphires, zircons and smokey quartz.

Oberon is a welcome stop.

Heading south through Black Springs, I take a quick respire from the bitumen and head into the pine forest. Gravel roads wide enough for trucks, tracks wide enough for cars and narrower trails run throughout these forests. You could spend a whole day exploring these roads. In the autumn, pine mushrooms flourish on the forest floor and are worth foraging for to bbq with lamb chops over a fire…… if you happen to travel with cooking gear. Back on the bitumen and cruising through Gurnag, bands of rain fall on the horizon. As I stop beside a lollypop lady at roadworks near the paling Yards bends, a few droplets fall, followed by a wall of rain that passes over us quenching the parched earth beneath my tires leaving rivers of water flowing along the gravel heading into the Abercrombie River at the bottom of the bends.

The original plan was to return via Wombeyan Caves Road, but the eastern sky is black from the storm.

Plan B makes more sense and takes me through Taralga and into Goulbourn.

With a few hours of daylight still left, Bungonia to the north east beckons a visit. In this area renowned by adrenaline junkies for caves, bushwalks and climbing and canyons, the roads are in good condition and National Parks have done an excellent job of setting out lookouts and BBQ areas to pull over for a break. From the “Lookdown”, one of the lookouts, you can see the contrast of wilderness against industry. Wilderness stretches to the horizon to the south and east.

To the north, a mountainside is scarred with an open cut limestone mine. It’s well worth the ride here just to go for a walk around.

Just past Hungry Jacks at Marulan is The Highland Way that ambles through Wingello, Penrose, Bundanoon, Exeter,

Black Forest Road

Sutton Forest, Moss Vale and into Berrima then Mittagong. The Highland Way is a fantastic days’ ride just on its own during cooler months and shorter days with plenty of places to stop for a coffee and pie in the picturesque towns.

As time goes by, the old gravel roads of our youth are being upgraded to bitumen which isn’t such a bad thing.

It only means the roads can be enjoyed by a greater variety of bikes and riders.

It also enables you to venture further afield to search out and explore other roads that aren’t on big maps.

During the summer months, this is a reasonable day’s ride, during the cooler months; it would be a great weekend trip with plenty of places to camp overnight.

Coming past the Wombeyan Caves Road junction at Mittagong, a flashing road sign warns of the road’s closure.

Lucky I didn’t try to come through.

Apparently the road was closed due to the zombie apocalypse ….go figure. D EXACTLY HALFWAY BETWEEN WINDSOR AND SINGLETON ON YOUR PUTTY ROAD RIDE

Motorcyclists Ken and Tania welcome you to their highly recommended cafe.

Wood Fired Pizza, Tapas and Espresso Bar.

CLUBS AND GROUPS WELCOME PHONE AHEAD FOR QUICKER SERVICE

8679 Putty Rd, Putty NSW

Plenty of bike parking. Phone ahead for large groups.

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 Cafe Style Food  Giftwares  Toilets/Showers  Air Conditioned  Free 24 hour Camping  Open 7 days 7.00am to 5.00pm and by appointment for evening functions www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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CUSTOM

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NASCAFE RACER LIKE A FINE TIMEPIECE

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C USTOM

S

haw Harley-Davidson took the top spot in the Modified Harley class back in 2010 at the World Championship of Custom Bike Building and returned later with a radically reworked Night Train – the Nascafe Racer.

When the Modified Harley-Davidson class was launched at the World Championship of Custom Bike Building the thinking behind it was to allow the Motor Company’s dealers to show what could be done with Milwaukee’s offerings, when the engine and frame had to be left stock.

One dealer to take this idea and run with it, as it turns out very successfully, has been Shaw Harley-Davidson, based close to the coast in southern England.

Unlike previous builds from the English H-D dealer, Nascafe Racer was a collaboration with a sponsor.

Previous builds had been customer commissions. The sponsor in question was prestigious watchmaker Bell & Ross. Talking about the build and the time piece maker’s involvement Dealer Principal Steve Willis said: “The Bell & Ross mission statement is that every detail has to have its purpose and function. This technical exactness is expressed through pure lines and timeless elegance and is one that has inspired and driven the Shaw Harley-Davidson team in the UK to

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design and build this one-off custom motorcycle.

"We wanted to mirror the Bell & Ross timepiece wherever we could on the motorcycle and to ensure that the essential piece was never compromised by superfluous design or items,” concluded Willis.

The timepiece in question is a Bell & Ross BR01-94 Carbon Fiber Chronograph, and it can be found at the center of the build, built into a console in the middle of the bike’s fuel tank.

The bike chosen to act as a home for the chronograph was a 2007 Night Train Softail and the first thing to happen to it when it entered the Shaw Speed & Custom shop was a complete strip down, which allowed the team to remove all the unnecessary fittings from the frame and then go even further and cut off the rear fender rails. A further change to the frame was the fitting of a Performance Machine Phatail swingarm to allow a wider rear wheel and 240-section tyre to be installed.

Similarly at the front of the bike the fork legs were cleaned up and lowered.

To match the Performance Machine swingarm a set of Roland Sands Design Domino wheels have been used for the build; 21in front and 18in rear. These have been equipped with

Shaw Harley-Davidson Lewes, East Sussex, UK Tel: +44 (0)1825 872003 info@shawharley-davidson.co.uk www.shawharley-davidson.co.uk

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27/02/2017 1:37 pm

Continental tyres and Performance Machine brakes; twin six-piston calipers for the front and a single sixpiston caliper to the rear.

Performance Machine was also the supplier of choice for the hand controls, which are mounted on a set of clip-on bars positioned below the upper triple tree.

Due to the changes made to the rear of the bike’s frame, the oil tank needed to be relocated. Doing this gave the team at Shaw a chance to create the most visually striking feature of the Nascafe Racer – the air intake that turns into a belly pan running under the length of the bike. In addition to hiding the oil tank this piece of bodywork also houses the air intake and electrics and on the left side it mounts the fuel and ignition switches and start push button.

The racer look that starts with the belly pan is further carried through with the use of a bikini fairing to house the headlamp and a seat hump that not only acts as the rear fender but doubles as the exit for the exhaust system. The body work is completed with the custom gas tank that houses the console for the Bell & Ross timepiece. The entire arrangement was then handed over to Image Design Custom UK who took care of the paintwork; matt black on the bodywork and metallic brown for the frame.

The brown paint finish used on the frame was then mirrored with the anodizing on the fork legs, triple trees, and engine cases, which have had a Roland Sands Design timing cover fitted along with Covington rocker boxes. On the other side of the motor the primary drive has been swapped out for a Performance Machine belt drive. The final change to the motor is the addition of the custom exhaust system, built in-house at Shaw.

Nascafe Racer has been very successful at all of the shows where it was seen in Europe, including its win at the Irish Custom and Motorcycle Show, the AMD affiliate competition enabled the bike to travel to Sturgis for the World Championship event where it placed third. D

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TR A VEL

Where the roads are tarred they’re

Water storage ‘tanks’ created by the

in very good condition.

Aboriginal people who also hunted here.

Can’t miss the You Yangs from a distance, especially since they’re the only thing to see.

MILD MOUNTAINS VICTORIA’S YOU YANGS WORDS & PHOTOS THE BEAR

A

ll right, any Europeans, Americans, Asians, Papua New Guineas and even denizens of Antarctica can stop laughing right now. It is true that the You Yangs soar a mind-blowing 319 metres into the southern Victorian sky, and in most places in the world outside Australia this would not be regarded as a qualification to be mountains; indeed, they’d hardly be hills. But hey, we’re an old – sorry, mature age – continent, and we have to take what we can get by way of elevation.

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Matthew Flinders, the well-known human belonging to Trim the cat, was the first white man to visit the You Yangs. He and some of his men came ashore in 1802 and walked to the… um, the hills and climbed the tallest peak. With his usual restraint, he named it Station Peak. Like the Flinders Ranges in South Australia, it was later named after him and became Flinders Peak. It is not recorded whether Trim went with him, but it’s unlikely.

It is possible that the name of the hills comes from the Woiwurrung or Yawangi for “bald”, and that suits them quite well. The Yawangi used the You Yangs for hunting and water storage – the enlarged hollows in the granite are sometimes called wells, but of course they’re not – there is no underground water coming to the surface.

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

27/02/2017 1:09 pm

What’ll it be – check out the views or pay attention to the roadway?

The entrance – or in this case the exit – of the park

All right, rejoice – that’s the last bit of nit-picking in this story!

Despite their modest height, the You Yangs are visible from a very long way away. The plain around Melbourne is generally really flat, and where it isn’t it is cut by narrow river and creek valleys. The landforms extend down, rather than up. They consist mainly of Devonian granite with some sedimentary and metamorphic rock.

The You Yangs were popular with Australian painters, especially Fred Williams.

They lie in the rain shadow of the Otways, so they’re likely to be dry at any time of the year. Getting there could not be much easier; just look west from Melbourne or north-east

Turntable Drive Motorcycle Park with Suzuki

from Geelong to spot them and then ride in that general direction.

From Geelong that means following Forest Road past the Serendip Wetlands Wildlife Refuge, itself worth a visit, to its junction with Sandy Creek Road and Branch Road. A quick right into the latter, and the park entry is almost immediately on your left. If you take the Princes Freeway from Melbourne – and you might as well, there are bugger all interesting back roads on this flat plain – take the Little River Road turnoff to where it becomes River Street. Turn right into You Yangs Road and follow that to Farrars Road. Turn left and then right when you reach the Branch

Road turnoff – continue to the park entrance as before.

From here, Turntable Drive takes you into the park. There are maps to show you that other roads, but the easiest is to head for the Turntable Drive motorcycle (sorry, car) park where there are picnic facilities and toilets. You can walk to the top of Flinders Peak from here. Some of the park roads are gravel, but in my experience they’re pretty good – possibly a chance to practice your dirt road riding in ideal conditions.

This is a good Sunday ride for a picnic, or you can use it as an interesting stage on the otherwise dull ride from Melbourne to Geelong. D

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CLASSICMORRIS

AN OUTFIT WITH A GO KART HAS LESTER LOST HIS MIND! WORDS LESTER MORRIS

“Lester, are you sure that’s not you”?

M

any years ago a photo was published in an issue of ‘Karting News’ which showed a BSA outfit which had had its sidecar removed but which had a series of

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stout planks bolted onto the chassis rails in its place. Upon those planks was perched a racing Go-Kart which was securely strapped in place with the agency of two strong, webbing

ties and several Aerolastics. I had enjoyed a swift read of a page in the magazine over someone’s shoulder, so the sight of that photo was discovered entirely by accident.

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It was, however, not only a surprise to see that photograph – which carried no caption - but it was an enormous shock as well and of more than passing interest to me because that BSA outfit was mine and so was the racing go-kart!!

I don’t know who took the photo, of course, or how it made its way into that publication, but I knew at once that the photo was taken circa 1961 in the very early days of kart racing in Australia, and it must have been taken at Broadmeadows, near Newcastle, where the kart was campaigned just once, but with some vigour and some success. It was driven upon the recently-built, quarter-mile, dirt-surfaced circuit designed for kart racing, but it must have been an early meeting, for I believe the track was hot-mix sealed shortly thereafter.

At the time, kart racing was just becoming established, with tarsealed circuits laid-out at Taren Point, Londonderry and Granville, with smooth dirt circuits at Leppington, Canberra and Lithgow.

Other tracks were to follow shortly.

I had read in a 1959 American car magazine of a company in Los Angeles called Ingles-Borelli, the company offering a set of blueprinted plans for the building of a go-kart chassis. The plans were said to be comprehensive, with detailed instructions on the correct king-pin and castor angles, wheelbase and wheel-track dimensions, so that the steering geometry was correct, allowing the device to go precisely where it was pointed at race speeds.

In the late fifties the sport was unheard of in Australia, but I still sent the money across to the States immediately, the blueprints arriving by air-mail later in 1959. Among the details the plans contained was the diameter, gauge and type of special alloy steel tubing for the chassis, and the gauge of sheet metal which formed the pan which covered the base of the frame and backrest, helping to strengthen and stiffen the entire machine.

"THE KART WOULD EAT MOST OTHER KARTS ALIVE AND WAS NOW COMPETITIVE AGAINST SUCH SPECIALISED POWERPLANTS AS THE NEW 175CC MAICO KART ENGINE, WHICH WAS SAID TO POKE OUT 20BHP” The first Art Ingles go-kart made in 1956 featured straight sections of tubular steel and large - diameter wheels, but the plans which arrived in Sydney specified carefully bent cross-tubing for the front of the frame where the ten-inch diameter wheels were to be mounted. Kingpin and castor angles, which were variously seven (7) and nine (9) degrees were detailed- I can’t remember which was which - with corresponding kinks in the frame’s side rails. Rear wheels were to be twelve-inch outside diameter. The kinks in the front and side rails meant the little racer was lowered to a ground clearance of about three inches. The end result was a low and urgent-looking little machine with a wheelbase of forty-eight inches, and a wheel-track of just on thirty inches.

A pushbike factory in Guildford made a special jig for us to locate the tubular steel which they had supplied and specially bent to the blue-print’s specification. I ‘fishmouthed’ the ends of the tubing for a close fit and Andy attended to welding the frame, while I searched for a set of wheels which might be strong enough to be used one day for serious racing.

I found wheels of 10” x 3” for the front end, the rear wheels 4.00” x 4”, with outside diameter of twelve inches. The alloy wheels were intended for large trolleys and specified for very heavy loads, so they were perfect for the job.

The power-plant we originally used was a highly-tuned 150cc Hurricane lawnmower engine which pushed the little thing along fairly well, but a few weeks later I bought an old Ambassador motorcycle and used its Villiers 197cc engine – minus the gearbox – to power the kart.

Serious racing had just begun with two classes only: for single-cylinder two-stroke engines of up to 100cc capacity, with the larger class of up to 200cc.

Between race meetings I worked on improving the performance of that Villiers ‘commuter’ engine, with full-circle cranks Andy machined for me, a hand-cast 12:1 cylinder head, a modified, large-bore 29-type AMAL carb and greatly changed port shapes, sizes and radically-altered timing. The power-sapping magnets of the flywheel magneto were removed – I kept the flywheel - and a 6-Volt ‘total loss’ coil-and-points ignition system was adopted. I ‘screwed-and-glued’ carefullysculpted, hand polished alloy ‘stalagmite’ and ‘stalactite’ stuffers onto a thin plate inserted under the cylinder barrel to close off some dead areas above the spinning cranks and inside the thrashing piston, which vastly improved crankcase compression but without in any way impeding the smooth, swift flow of the transferred gases. I wasn’t sure of what I was doing, but figured that volumetric efficiency would not be compromised, and that a high primary compression would make the transfer phase much more efficient. Andy carefully made a fat expansion chamber, using a formula I found in an overseas magazine. By the time we were off to Broadmeadow, I had managed to almost treble the engine’s original power.

The kart would eat most other karts alive and was now competitive against such specialised powerplants as the new 175cc Maico kart engine, which was said to poke out 20BHP, although the watercooled Mermaid outboard engine was too much of a challenge. Karts

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C L ASSICMORR IS

powered by dual McCulloch chainsaw engines were also hard to knock off, although we could beat them on occasion as well.

We arrived at Broadmeadows track to be greeted at the gates by a pair of identical, bloated, skinheaded, toothless men who clearly had something seriously wrong with them. They were said to be ‘officials’ of some description, but were not very good at officiating – or anything else for that matter.

They were serial grinners, with vacuous faces, slightly-crossed eyes and raucous laughs, and they seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time groping about inside the front of their trousers. The only thing which was different about the odd twins was their laugh: one sounded like a joyous hyena, the other like an asthmatic donkey.

The duo was on the slow side and got in everybody’s way, and was seen to be occasionally run over in the pits during the day by seemingly out-of-control go-karts.

One was seen to be limping badly late in the day, the other nursing one arm cradled inside the other.

Their shouted laughter continued as before: Andy referred to them as ‘The Wanker Twins, Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber’, which was accurate, if unfortunate.

I was advised to look out for the bloke who had three 65cc West Bend chain-saw engines mounted to his kart; he was said to have helped design the track and was a dab hand at circulating swiftly upon it. The fellow who mentioned that asked what the strange engine on our kart was, and when I explained it was an old engine from a commuter motorcycle he stifled a huge laugh by placing his gnarled hand over his quivering mouth as he moved swiftly away, shaking his head sadly.

There were no clutches, with engines a direct drive to the rear axle, which meant that most six-lap races were a rolling start, while the occasional handicap events were push-started from the grass just off the track surface.

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On one lap in a practice session I rolled up behind the screaming triple-West Bend machine, pulled out half-way along the slightly downhill main straight and covered the poor sod with finely powdered sand as we slid side-on across his bows into the following mediumpaced corner. He turned up at our site in the pits shortly thereafter spitting chips and small grains of sand as he dusted off his race overalls. He told me through gritted teeth he didn’t think much of being sand-blasted in that Cavalier fashion and then complained to the organisers about the danger of the large expansion chamber we had mounted. I was not impressed with his sour-grapes attitude, but I must say he was probably right about the location of the pong-box.

I wasn’t happy with its positon myself, for that expansion chamber was so large we had to run it alongside the engine and then almost upright, with a small bracket attaching it to one of the four cylinder-head bolts. It worked very well but I had earlier been chastised for the thing at Taren Point where an official with a decibel meter suggested the device was not a muffler - as I had suggested it was – but was in fact a noise increaser!!

It’s true it could have been a disaster in an accident, so I had to borrow a hacksaw at Broadmeadows to chop the thing off. The chamber could not then be ‘felt’ coming on strongly down the straights, but the engine was still powerful enough with its shortened, straight pipe to be quite competitive. We managed a ‘podium’ in a couple of events, and to be somewhere among the leaders in the final, handicap event.

We were positioned so far to the rear in that handicap race I couldn’t have attained a placing, even though I was able to briskly slice through much of the field.

Even in its de-tuned state my kart still ‘silenced’ the triple-West Bends, and it drew its fair share of attention during the meeting. The exhaust had a deep, pulsing growl,

where virtually all the others were screamers. It also pulled a much higher gear – 4.6:1 - with its tentooth ½”-pitch engine sprocket and forty-six tooth rear sprocket, while the other karts employed the lighter 3/8” pitch chain, again with ten-tooth engine sprockets but gear ratios of around 7.4:1, with rear sprockets about seventy-four teeth!

In other words, we were racing a machine locked in top gear, while the others could start (and remain) in second or third. That’s a very wide spread of power from our high-performance two-stroke engine, which showed that an earnest amateur ‘tuner’ might sometimes enjoy the fruits of his many, many hours of hard labour.

Andy and I begged off the inevitable post-race BBQ and swept home on the outfit after a great day’s racing, which was simply one of many over the next three years or so.

Unhappily, that too-potent engine was a bit too hard on its standard big-end bearings and I often wished I had kept the remains of that Ambassador so that I could have re-attached the gearbox to the donk to see how the bike would perform as a solo machine. I doubt, however, that the standard, single-plate Villiers clutch could have handled the much improved performance of that Villiers engine, which has, sadly, vanished somewhere into the mists of time. The Villiers people in England, to whom I wrote detailing the enormous amount of work I had carried out on their commuter engine, replied in a return letter that no-one had ever ‘raped’ an early 6E engine like that before, while still wishing us well in our pursuit of engines which they suggested were ‘far more suitable to that enterprise.’

Hey, my 196-page book “Vintage Morris: Tall Tales but True from a Lifetime in Motorcycling” is now available. To secure your signed copy, please send cheque or money order for $42 ($29 + $14 Postage Nationwide) to: L & L. Morris, P.O. Box 392, Winston Hills. NSW. 2153.

Cheers for now. LM D

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23/02/2017 2/02/2017 11:56 4:10 am pm

WHATSAYYOU W

E LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU, the letters are among the most keenly read parts of the magazine. Please try and keep letters down to no more than 300 words. Then you can read many, not just a couple. We do reserve the right to cut them and, unless you identify yourself and at least your town or suburb and state, we will print your email address instead. Please address letters to thebear@ausmotorcyclist.com.au or Australian Motorcyclist Magazine, PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111. All opinions published here are those of the writers and we do not vouch for their accuracy or even their sanity!

HEAR THIS!

Y

es, there’s been a change in our prize for the letter of the month.

We say goodbye to Andy Strapz’ Rain Off Overgloves and welcome Alpine MotoSafe earplugs – the earplugs you want when your ears need plugging, which is any time you’re out on the bike. Believe me, these things are just as important as safety gear; in fact they matter more because abrasion resistant clothing only works when you fall off; earplugs work all the time. I would not be the deaf old bugger that I am if I had listened when I was young to the wise old heads who told me to always wear them. So we’re doing a good deed as we reward you for your letter, and saving your hearing. And the first recipient is someone who may be able to save other things, too – like you yourself!

PEEKIN’ BEACON

Gday Peter, Just a short note to inform you about a beaut little Personal Locator Beacon that I have just discovered. A man MISFITS & MARTINETS

Greetings Mr Bear, That was a good article in issue # 48. I’ve known a few traffic police

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of your knowledge may already be aware of it. It weighs 140 grams and can fit in the palm of your hand.

Why did I look for this item? Well, on Australia Day I was out on my trusty Suzuki Trojan Farm bike doing an inspection of my property in Western NSW. A kangaroo decided he wanted to cross in front of me and took out the front wheel of the bike. As result my left knee drove into a hard gravelly ridge sustaining some moderate grazing. The bike didn’t even stall and I picked myself and the bike up, remounted and continued on my way.

Four hours later I couldn’t walk, my knee had bunged up that much.

I was due to go to Bourke the next day to meet up with Mike & Denise Ferris for a World Of Wheels ride for the Fred Hollows Foundation. (I had been on one of their Awesome Andes Tours a couple of years ago and wanted to catch up with them).

So thought I would pay a visit to the hospital in Bourke for treatment. I drove and didn’t ride as my road bike was in Tamworth, my other home.

Caught up with Mike and Denise and was awarded as subscription to your magazine which I had only bought off the news stands before.

We all had a great evening and I drove home late that night, 170K and 2,000 kangaroos. Only one hit me.

A couple of days later, I got to

thinking, “What if I had broken a leg or had other serious injuries from that altercation with the kangaroo?” I probably would be dead as my wife is in WA, my workman wasn’t due back until the following Monday, I had no water with me and the temperatures were in the mid 40s.

I logged on to Ebay and looked up EPIRBs. Most were only suitable for marine applications except for Kinetic Technology International SA2G unit. I bought one straight away and it is strapped on my arm whenever I walk out of the house.

I have made enquiries with Kinetic Technology and they are prepared to wholesale the units to me for a price that I can compete with Ebay retailers.

Your Grey Gums on the Putty Road gathering interested me as possible point to retail the units to motorcycle riders though my main market will be young and old rural landholders in Western NSW. I am also a Ulyssian and ride, when I get the chance, with the Tamworth and District Branch.

Would be interested to hear your thoughts on this unit and the possibility of me marketing the unit at a stall at the Grey Gums.

John Hall

over the years and like every other profession suffer from bone heads, misfits and martinets within their numbers. I think you will find that

most of them ride while off duty even if they don’t ride while working.

Their own vehicles tend to be exotic, quick or classic.

I reckon that’s a great idea, John, and I look forward to seeing you there. For our other readers, you can find more on the KTI in this issue – The Bear

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27/02/2017 1:53 pm

You and your mate had a lottery win down at Eden. You’ve got more chance of seeing Haley’s Comet again than lucking it out with police on a go slow. These days in WA they would impound the bike for being so far over the limit. I also find that when dealing with officialdom their attitude will be a reflection of your attitude (unless you get a bone head, misfit or martinet).

When the Newcastle expressway was being put through a mate and I were returning to Sydney one evening when there was bugger all traffic on the road. That’s when I found out that my 850 Commando would do 200kph flat stick tucked in whereas my mates 750 Trident would do 205kph. To this day I can still remember the burn and gnashing teeth of not being able to catch him.

I got the speed out of my system years ago and just cruise along at the speed limit or a little over and enjoy the ride, the destination is secondary.

While my speed has gone down my intolerance of fools has gone up and being stopped by one of those misfits may not have a happy ending.

Something about age and treachery overcoming youth and technology.

Take care Mr Bear, See you on the road.

Neil, Somewhere on the east coast

rain. Despite a short stop at a very scenic Ellenborough Falls, I would never have done it had I known how challenging the 60km or so of slippery, winding, mountain clay road was going to be that day for a dedicated bitumen bike. A mud-caked radiator was not a good start for the Oxley Hwy. Learning #1: while spontaneity is good, at least do a sanity check so you know a bit about where and what is ahead (even if it’s just refuelling options or a weather check!).

But the Oxley ride was sensational and the discomforts of detours soon evaporated. At Walcha’s Royal Café, owner Brad shepherded my bike to the secure rear of the site and we chatted about the ride, caked mud and about the miscellaneous ironwork and restoration projects he had underway. After an overnight stay in the creaky but comfortable, authentic old inn, next morning Brad had kindly set up a Gerni ready to go for me to do the necessary clean-up. Service above and beyond! Next things learned: that venue is indeed a good place run by good folks and the Oxley ride is one of the best around – and I can verify the accuracy of the AMM review article.

Last thing learned – The Café is supporting a campaign to prevent authorities reducing speed limits on the Oxley and it is encouraging visitors to make a submission to local MP’s.

Please help save the Oxley as it is - but enjoy it safely.

Regards, Peter Smith Balgowlah NSW

Yes, Neil, that expressway was the scene of many a highly illegal act in its early days.

These days, of course, we are all far too sensible to break the law. All right, you can stop laughing now – The Bear

Let me add my voice to Peter’s: please drop a line to your local MP about the fate of the Oxley. Just a quick threat that you’ll put One Nation first if they don’t shape up – The Bear WILLIAM TURNS UP THE HEAT

ROYAL CLEANUP

Dear Bear AMM did a review of the Walcha Royal Café and the Oxley Highway some time back. In a tour up that way in early 2017 I learned a few things….

On the spur of the moment near Wingham I elected to take a detour along a signposted scenic route on my way towards Wauchope and the Oxley. I didn’t expect the road to progressively deteriorate until eventually becoming an unsealed road made more treacherous by significant

Hi Peter, You may remember my wife Jackie and I from the tour a couple of years ago of western USA with Skip and the Best Of The West.

We have just come back from our third tour in India on old (righthand gear shift) RE Bullets. This time it was of Southern India mainly Tamil Nadu & Kerala. Great time, saw lots from spice gardens at 2000m to Kerala Houseboats & all the cities, towns and villages in between. A couple of really great roads, the best probably being a great section of well surfaced switchbacks descending from Munnar down to the Tamil Nadu plains on

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W HATSAYYOU

the way to Tiruchirapalli. A ride for the books equaling anything I have ridden elsewhere in Europe & the Alps.

I opened the most recent edition of the magazine to find a section on Royal Enfields. Over the few years I have been going to India the RE show rooms have really cashed in on the appeal, turning it from a relic of the UK auto Industry to a must have bike for many in India, while still maintaining the image (and of course the noise!). We had lots of long discussions with young Indian entrepreneurs on why they prefer the RE over Japanese / Korean / Chinese 250s.

Just a shame that they end up costing so much in Australia. I attach a price list (in Indian Rupees) ex show room. Shipping & customs, taxes & tariffs do not make up the difference between this price & the price they are being sold for in Australia.

Someone somewhere is getting very fat on charging Aussie bikers several ‘000s more than it actually costs.

Anyone who really wants one should import their own. Several companies in India will do it all for you. We were quoted AU$ 3,500 delivered for a classic Bullet - including all import duties, taxes etc.

All three rides have been with Indian Motorcycle Adventures a Kiwi / Indian run company that specialises in Royal Enfields and tours of Rajasthan, Himalayas, Nepal, and Southern India. All tours are fully backed up with Mechanic, Bus and Kumal who leads the tour on his bike.

Accommodation is all 3 star, pretty reasonable, and located in good spots for sightseeing and shopping. Kumal and his team really go out of their way to make sure you get time to see & understand what is around you plus really good riding. And the bikes just keep on going and going. Biggest problem for them is fuel quality.

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Next time someone is looking for a motorcycle tour in India give them a look up on www.indianmotorcycleadventures. com, www.facebook.com/ Indianmotorcycleadventures Cheers William Griffiths PS: Making the move this year we spoke of. Going to live in the Philippines & ride all over. A very neglected touring destination for biking with some great roads & lots of sights, and I’m not just talking about the Filipinas!

Ah William, if only it was that simple with importing bikes! There are a lot of reasons why bikes cost more here, and our labour costs make up only a part. I wrote about this some years ago and I’ll put together another story some time soon.

And I don’t think you can complain about the $5999 price of the new Himalayan! – The Bear WE DID NOT WRITE THIS LETTER

Hi Peter, I’d like to thank you Stuart, Ralph, Boris and the whole extended Motorcyclist Magazine team for a very enjoyable bike magazine, I have been getting it since day one I think.

I am 57 and have been reading “the Bear” since I was a whipper snipper in the mid ’70s, when I owned a metallic green RD 250 (first bike) and “The Bear” was writing for Two Wheels, riding an XL250 Honda around the globe, it was fun stuff.

Peter I have always enjoyed your vast vocabulary and sense of humour. (I also like hearing about tasty “Bear fare” and different beers).

Well, I never really have stopped riding and currently am the happy owner, for years now, of two Hinckley Triumphs, a stunning Tornado Red Daytona 955i of 2004 vintage and also the uber comfy Silver 2011 Sprint GT1050 (my wonderful

Dave’s Daytona

The Sprint being ridden in anger!

pillion wife loves it as much as I do). Both great bikes, but for very different reasons.

Anyhow I just wanted to say how much I look forward to my next issue of “M” Magazine. I always enjoy the road tests (thanks to Stuart and team) and the tales of travels here and abroad, I especially enjoyed the article about riding through the Rhine on the GS 800 in the last issue no 49.

Thank you guys for keeping another motorcycling enthusiast occupied, when he’s not wearing his Pilot Road 4s out :) Dave Mitchell Thank you, Dave, and the cheque is in the mail… - The Bear ENLISTMENTS CONTINUE

General, Sir, Just enquiring whether enlistment to the Bear Army is complete or is there

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still room for an additional Trooper?

I want to offer my riding friend a subscription and think he would be a suitable recruit if space in the barracks is available. He would of course have to undergo significant basic training!

Pieter Versluis Trooper #2 Liverpool NSW Any friend of yours is a Trooper of ours, Pieter! Let me know if you need the forms to sign him up – The Bear TIMELY ADVICE

Bear, Having attended the Ulysses AGM in Launceston and touring around the wonderful island state afterwards I eagerly read the notes accompanying the West Tassie tear-out map #49. I was disappointed to find that the Pitstop Cafe in Zeehan didn’t rate a mention. OK, so it is a bit out of the way on the edge of town to the west but now you are aware of its existence you should check it out next time you’re down there. Now you may not seek out the Pitstop for its fine dining (although the food and coffee are quite good) but inside the cafe is a motorcycle workshop about the size of a large bathroom behind a plate-glass window and on a workbench is a Royal Enfield Cafe Racer (a work in progress as at March 2016) and on the floor is a BSA Bantam. And if you don’t need to use the toilet then pretend you need to go.

AND, at Derwent Bridge the must-see attraction is The Wall in the Wilderness.

Jeff Cole Alice Springs I’ll be in Tasmania the week after next, Jeff, so thank you for the tips – The Bear D

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Ne WBIKePrICes ew motorcycle prices go up, they from all the manufacturers go down. It can be hard to keep currently in the country.

N track of all the changes. Australian Things like special deals, cashbacks, Motorcyclist Magazine supplies you with all the latest up to date prices

APRILIA

www.aprilia.com.au Road RS4 125 RS4 125 SBK Shiver Sport 750 ABS Tuono V4 1100 RR Tuono V4 1100 Factory RSV4 RR RSV4 RR Race Pack RSV4 RF LE Dorsoduro 1200 ABS Scooters Sportcity One 125 SR MT 125 Mojito 125 Scarabeo 200 ie Sportcity Cube 300 Sportcity 300 Street Scarabeo 300 ie SR Max 300 Scarabeo 500 ie SRV850

$5100 $6250 $12,990 $23,000 $25,000 $25,000 $31,000 $31,000 $13,990 $2990 $3290 $4990 $4850 $6290 $6290 $6490 $6490 $8490 $14,990

BENELLI

www.benelli.com.au Road BN 302 Leoncino BN600i BN600S BN600GT BN600GTS Adv Touring TRK 502 Scooter Caffenero 150

$5590 $TBA $8990 $8990 $8990 $8990 $TBA $3390

www.bimotaaustralia.com.au $37,990 $37,290 $44,990 $46,990 $55,990 $TBA $56,990 $72,888 $84,990

BMW

www.bmwmotorrad.com.au Road G 310 R F 800 R F 800 GT S 1000 R S 1000 R Sport S 1000 RR

S 1000 RR Sport S 1000 RR Race R nineT R nineT Pure R nineT Scrambler R nineT Racer R nineT Urban G/S R 1200 R R 1200 R Sport R 1200 R Exclusive R 1200 RS R 1200 RS Sport R 1200 RT K 1600 B K 1600 GT K 1600 GT Sport K 1600 GTL K 1600 GTL Elegance Adv Sport S 1000 XR Adv Touring F 700 GS F 800 GS F 800 GSA R 1200 GS R 1200 GS Rallye R 1200 GS Rallye X R 1200 GS Rallye Tour R 1200 GSA R 1200 GSA Triple Black Scooter C 650 Sport C 650 GT

$23,990 $25,690 $22,490 $17,690 $18,750 $19,150 $18,750 $22,100 $22,500 $22,500 $23,100 $23,450 $30,940 $TBA $36,490 $36,990 $37,990 $40,490 $22,190 $12,890 $16,940 $18,650 $21,850 $23,050 $27,250 $27,250 $24,890 $29,585 $14,150 $14,990

CAN-AM (BRP) www.brp.com

BIMOTA Road DB5R DB10 DB9 DB9 S Tesi 3D Naked Tesi Race Café DB11 BB3 DB8 OroNero

factory discounts and bonuses are what you’ll find. Bear in mind

$5790 $12,990 $16,300 $19,390 $21,690 $21,990

*All prices are ride away Road Spyder RS SM5 Spyder RS S Red SE5 Spyder RS S Wht SE5 F3S SM5 F3S SE5 Spyder ST S SE5 Spyder ST Ltd SE5 Spyder RT SM6 Spyder RT S SE6 Spyder RT Ltd SE6

$19,990 $23,990 $23,990 $25,790 $28,890 $25,490 $28,990 $31,490 $39,990 $41,990

CF MOTO

www.cf-moto.com.au Road V-Night 150 Leader 650NK 650TK

$2690 $2190 $5990 $7990

all prices (unless indicated) exclude dealer and on road costs and some prices may have changed at the last minute as we went to the printer.

Cruiser V5 Scooter Jetmax 250

$3990 $4190

CONFEDERATE MOTORCYCLES

www.confederate.com.au Road X132 Hellcat X132 Hellcat Combat X132 Hellcat Speedster R131 Fighter R135 Wraith Combat

$POA $POA $POA $POA $POA

DAELIM

www.daelim.com.au Road VJF250 Scooter Bbone Besbi S1

$4490 $3490 $2190 $3290

DUCATI

www.ducati.com.au Road Scrambler Sixty2 Scrambler Icon (Red) Scrambler Icon (Yellow) Scrambler Classic Scrambler Urban Enduro Scrambler Full Throttle Scrambler Flat Track Pro Monster 821 Dark Monster 821 Red Monster 821 White Monster 821 Stripes Hypermotard Red Hypermotard White Hypermotard SP Hyperstrada Supersport S Panigale 959 Red Panigale 959 White Monster 1200 Monster 1200 S Red Monster 1200 S White Monster 1200 R Red Monster 1200 R Black Diavel Dark Diavel Carbon XDiavel XDiavel S

$11,990 $13,290 $13,490 $15,490 $15,490 $15,490 $16,990 $16,490 $16,990 $17,290 $17,990 $17,790 $17,990 $21,990 $19,490 $TBA $19,990 $20,490 $19,990 $24,490 $24,790 $27,490 $27,990 $24,990 $30,490 $27,490 $32,490

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Panigale 1299 Panigale 1299 S Panigale R Adv Touring Multistrada 950 Multistrada 1200 Red Multistrada 1200 S Red Multistrada 1200 S White Multi 1200 Enduro Red Multi Enduro Wht or Gry Multi 1200 S Pikes Peak

$27,990 $35,490 $46,990 $18,790 $23,990 $28,490 $28,990 $29,990 $30,290 $34,990

HARLEY-DAVIDSON www.harley-davidson.com

* All Harley-Davidson prices are ride away Cruiser Street 500 $11,495 SuperLow 883 $15,495 Iron 883 $15,495 Custom 1200 $18,750 Forty-Eight $18,995 Roadster $19,495 Street Bob $22,495 Low Rider $23,495 Low Rider S $26,250 Wide Glide $24,995 Fat Bob $25,495 Softail Slim $25,495 Softail Slim S $29,250 Fat Boy Lo $28,995 Fat Boy $29,250 Fat Boy S $31,750 Softail Deluxe $28,995 Breakout $29,750 Heritage Softail Classic $30,250 Road King $33,995 Road Glide Special $36,495 Street Glide Special $36,750 Ultra Limited $39,995 V-Rod Muscle $27,995 Night Rod Special $28,995 CVO Pro Street Breakout $42,495 Street Glide $48,995 Ultra Limited $52,495

$10,599 $9299 $15,199 $16,999 $17,799 $17,799 $19,499 $27,299 $37,999

Chief Vintage Springfield Chieftain Dark Horse Chieftain Chief Roadmaster

$9799 $9999 $12,299 $15,999 $21,999

Road Z125 Pro Z250SL Z250SL ABS Z300 ABS Ninja 300 Ninja 300 SE KRT Ninja 300 ABS Ninja 300 SE KRT ABS Versys 650/L ABS Ninja 650/L ABS Z650L ABS Ninja ZX-6R Ninja ZX-6R 636 ABS Ninja ZX-6R 636 KRT W800 SE Z800 ABS Z900 Z1000 ABS SE Ninja 1000 ABS Ninja ZX-10R Ninja ZX-10R ABS Ninja ZX-10R Winter Ninja ZX-14R ABS Ninja ZX-14R ABS Ohlins 1400GTR ABS H2 Cruiser Vulcan S ABS Vulcan S ABS Café Vulcan 1700 Vaquero ABS Adv Touring KLR650 KLR650 Camo Versys X Versys 1000 ABS

$7999 $9599 $15,099 $18,299 $15,499 $16,999 $17,999 $2799 $3299 $4499 $7499

HUNTER

www.huntermotorcycles.com.au Cruiser Daytona Spyder Bobber

$6990 $6990 $7299

HUSQVARNA

www.husqvarnamotorcycles.com.au Road 701 Supermoto

$TBA

HYOSUNG

www.hyosung.com.au

HONDA

http://motorcycles.honda.com.au Road Grom CB125E CB300F CBR300R CBR300R ABS CB400 ABS CB500F CBR500R ABS CBR600RR CB650FL ABS CB650F ABS CBR650FL ABS

CBR650F ABS NC750SA ABS VFR800F CBR1000RR CBR1000RR ABS VFR1200F ABS CTX1300 Goldwing F6B GL1800 Goldwing Cruiser VT400C CTX700NA ABS VT750C Shadow VT1300CXA Fury GL1800 Valkyrie Adv Touring CB500X NC750XA VFR800X Crossrunner VFR1200X Crosstourer CRF1000 Africa Twin CRF1000 Africa Twin ABS CRF1000 Africa Twin DCT Scooter NSC110 Dio MW110 Benly PCX150 NSS300A Forza

$3990 $2299 $5699 $5249 $5749 $10,499 $7899 $8099 $14,999 $9999 $9999 $10,499

Road GT650RL Cruiser GV650SL GTV650C

.$7690 $8250 $8250

INDIAN

www.indianmotorcycles.com.au *All Indian Motorcycle prices are ride away Cruiser Scout $19,995 Chief Dark Horse $27,995 Chief Classic $29,995

$31,995 $33,995 $34,995 $36,995 $40,995

KAWASAKI

www.kawasaki.com.au $4099 $5299 $5599 $5999 $5799 $5999 $6199 $6399 $10,199 $9999 $9699 $14,999 $16,499 $16,649 $12,499 $12,999 $TBA $15,499 $16,299 $22,000 $23,000 $23,200 $19,999 $22,099 $24,999 $33,000 $9999 $10,199 $24,499 $8099 $8199 $TBA $15,999

KTM

www.ktm.com.au Road 390 Duke 690 Duke 690 Duke R 690 SMC R 1290 Super Duke R 1290 Super Duke R SE 1290 Super Duke GT Adv Touring 690 Enduro R

$6095 $12,995 $14,995 $14,995 $24,995 $26,995 $26,995 $14,695

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N E W BIK E PR ICE S

1050 Adventure 1090 Adventure R 1190 Adventure 1190 Adventure R 1290 Super Adventure 1290 Super Adv R

$18,995 $TBA $23,995 $24,995 $26,995 $TBA

Commando 961 Sport Commando 961 Café Commander 961 SF

$29,990 $33,990 $35,990

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kymco.com.au

Road CK 125 Cruiser Venox 250 Scooter Super 8 125 Like 125 Espresso 150 Like 200 Downtown 300i ABS

$2095 $5295 $2595 $2995 $2799 $3395 $7495

MOTO GUZZI

*Some Piaggio prices are ride away Scooter Typhoon 125 Fly 150 3V Liberty S 150 3V Medley 150 Yourban 300 BV 350 Sport Touring X10 350 X10 500

$2790 $3490 $3790 $5290 $9790 $8190 $9490 $9,990

ROYAL ENFIELD

www.motoguzzi.com.au

www.royalenfield.com.au $12,490 $12,990 $14,990 $16,500 $16,500 $16,500 $19,490 $23,500 $24,000 $21,490 $24,490 $26,500 $TBA

Road Classic 350 Bullet 500 Classic 500 Classic Desert Storm Classic Battle Green Classic Squadron Blue Classic Chrome Continental GT Adv Touring Himalayan

$5590 $7490 $7790 $7790 $7790 $7790 $7990 $8590 $5990

SOL INVICTUS

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MV AGUSTA

www.mvagusta.com.au Road Brutale 675 F3 675 F3 675 RC Brutale 800 Brutale 800 RR Brutale 800 Dragster Brutale 800 Dragster RR F3 800 F3 800 RC Stradale 800 Turismo Veloce 800 Turismo Veloce Lusso 800 Brutale 1090 Brutale 1090 RR Brutale 1090 Corsa F4 F4 RR F4 RC

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PIAGGIO

KYMCO

Road V7 II Stone V7 II Special V7 II Racer V7 II Stornello LE V9 Bobber V9 Roamer Griso 1200 SE Cruiser Calfornia 1400 Audace California 1400 Eldorado California 1400 Custom California 1400 Touring Cali 1400 Touring SE MGX-21

Norton motorcycles

$15,799 $18,699 $20,999 $18,699 $19,999 $20,499 $23,499 $19,999 $23,490 $19,999 $20,499 $23,499 $19,999 $22,999 $27,999 $24,499 $33,999 $55,880

Road *Prices are ride away Mercury 250 Nemesis 400

$4999 $6999

SUZUKI

www.suzukimotorcycles.com.au Road GSX-R125 Inazuma 250 TU250X GSX-R250 DR-Z400SM GSX-R600 SV650 GSX650F/LAMS GSR750 GSX-S750 GSX-R750

$TBA $4990 $5990 $TBA $8990 $14,990 $9990 $10,490 $10,790 $TBA $15,990

GSX-S1000 GSX-S1000F GSX-R1000 GSX-R1000R GSF1250S Bandit ABS GSX1250FA GSX1300R Hayabusa Cruiser VL250 Intruder VL650 S40 VL800 C50T VZ800 M50 VZ1500 C90T VLR1800T C109RT VZR1800 M109R VZR1800 M109R Blk Adv Touring DR200S DR650SE DL650 V-Strom DL650 V-Strom LAMS DL650 V-Strom XT DL650 V-Strom XT LAMS DL1000 V-Strom DL1000 V-Strom XT Scooter UK110 Address AN200A Burgman ABS AN650A Burgman ABS

$14,990 $15,790 $17,490 $TBA $12,990 $14,990 $19,290 $6690 $7990 $12,990 $10,990 $15,490 $18,990 $18,990 $19,490 $4990 $8090 $10,290 $10,290 $11,490 $10,990 $15,490 $TBA $2490 $5490 $13,590

SWM

www.swmmotorcycles.com.au Road Gran Turismo Silver Vase 440 Gran Milano 440 SM 500 R SM 650 R Adv Touring Superdual

$7490 $7490 $7990 $8990 $9490 $9990

SYM

www.scoota.com.au Scooter Orbit 125 Classic 125 VS 150 Symphony 150 HD Evo 200 CityCom 300i Firenze 300

$2499 $2499 $2999 $2999 $4699 $5999 $6299

TGB

www.tgbscooters.com.au Scooter X-Race 150 Bullet 150 BellaVita 300i Xmotion 250

$3690 $3990 $6390 $6390

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TORINO

Explorer 1200 XRt Explorer 1200 XCx/L Explorer 1200 XCa

www.torinomotorcycles.com.au CRUISER Veloce 250 Titan 250 Scooter Famosa 125 Famosa 150 Galetta Retro Messina Classic

$4695 $6995 $2590 $2990 $2695 $3995

$25,200 $24,200 $26,700

URAL

www.imz-ural.com.au cT Adv Touring Tourist Retro/M70 Ranger

$21,790 $23,770 $24,918 $24,970

TRIUMPH

www.triumphmotorcycles.com.au *Some Triumph prices are ride away Road Street Triple 660 Street Triple ABS Street Triple R Street Triple RX Daytona 675 ABS Daytona 675R Bonneville Street Twin Bonne Street Twin PC Bonne Street Cup Bonne T100 Bonne T100 Black Bonne Bobber Bonne Scrambler Bonneville T120 Black Bonneville T120 Bonne T120 Blk PC Bonne T120 TT Thruxton 1200 Thruxton 1200 PC Thruxton R 1200 Tiger Sport Speed Triple S Speed Triple R Cruiser America Speedmaster Thunderbird Storm ABS Thunderbird Commander Thunderbird Comm TT Thunderbird Comm LT Thunderbird Comm LT TT Rocket III Roadster ABS Rocket III Touring ABS Adv Touring Tiger 800 XR Tiger 800 XRX/L Tiger 800 XRT Tiger 800 XC Tiger 800 XCX/L Tiger 800 XCA Explorer 1200 XRx

VESPA

www.vespa.com.au $12,490 $12,990 $13,990 $14,999 $14,990 $16,990 $13,350 $13,550 $15,600 $15,300 $15,500 $TBA $TBA $17,000 $17,000 $17,200 $17,300 $18,700 $18,900 $21,100 $17,150 $17,900 $20,350 $11,990 $12,990 $21,990 $22,490 $22,990 $23,990 $24,490 $23,990 $26,490 $14,090 $16,850 $18,150 $15,590 $17,950 $19,750 $22,700

Scooter Primavera 125 3V Primavera 150 3V Sprint 150 3V Sprint 150 3V SE GTS 150 3V PX150 PX150 Touring 946 Bellissima 946 Armani GTS250ie FL GTS300 Super GTS300 Super Sport

$5590 $6290 $6390 $6490 $6290 $6490 $6790 $12,490 $14,990 $7890 $9190 $9490

VICTORY

www.victorymotorcycles.com.au *All Victory prices are ride away Cruiser Octane Vegas 8 Ball Gunner Highball Hammer S Cross Country Tour Magnum

$17,995 $21,995 $22,495 $22,495 $23,995 $31,995 $30,995

VIPER MOTORCYCLES www.vipermotors.com.au Road Black Diamond Diamond Back

$54,990 $54,990

YAMAHA

www.yamaha-motor.com.au Road YZF-R15 MT-03 R3 R3 Movistar

$4299 $5699 $6299 $6399

SR400 YZF-R6 YZF-R6 SP MT-07 LA MT-07 HO MT-07 Tracer XSR700 LA MT-09 XSR900 MT-09 Tracer MT-10 MT-10SP YZF-R1 YZF-R1 SP YZF-R1M XJR1300 FJR1300A FJR1300AE Cruiser XV250 Virago V Star 650 Custom V Star 650A Classic Bolt Bolt Paint it Black Bolt Hell for Leather Bolt R-Spec Bolt C-Spec SCR950 V Star 950 XVS1300 Stryker XVS1300 Stryker SE V Star 1300 XV1900A Roadliner Roadliner Tourer Adv Touring XT250 XT660Z Tenere XT1200Z Super Tenere XTZ1200OE Super Tenere XTZ1200ZE SP Scooter BeeWee 125 Tricity Tricity ABS XP530 TMAX ABS

$8099 $16,499 $16,799 $9599 $10,299 $12,299 $10,999 $12,229 $12,999 $15,499 $17,999 $21,499 $23,999 $24,999 $31,999 $14,499 $24,999 $27,999 $6799 $10,799 $11,299 $11,999 $12,999 $13,999 $12,499 $12,699 $TBA $13,999 $15,499 $16,099 $15,999 $21,799 $24,399 $6299 $13,999 $19,990 $21,890 $21,999 $3399 $4299 $4699 $13,999

ZERO

www.zeromotorcycles.com.au Road * All Zero prices are ride away S SR DS DSR FX FXS

$TBA $TBA $TBA $TBA $TBA $TBA

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BE AR F A C E D

RIGHT ROYAL I

can take royalty or leave it. Take it as in I find Prince Charles quite entertaining, and who could feel anything but affection for the late Queen Mum? Remember her alleged call to ‘below stairs’: “I don’t know what you old queens are doing down there, but this old Queen would like a gin and tonic.” I can leave it as in I’d rather that Australia managed without an outside Head of State.

But of course there is a motorcycling royal in the frame as well, namely Royal Enfield. Back in the days when the bikes, or some of them at least, were still made in England I bought a second-hand Crusader Super Sport Clubman, here in Australia, in about 1972.

The salesman would have thought that all his Christmases had come at once, because I pointed at the bike in the showroom and asked: “How much is the 441?” I can’t remember the price, but he very carefully avoided letting me know that the bike was actually a 250. For reasons I still don’t understand I had mixed up the engine with the BSA Victor’s. The bike did look bigger with its lovely Avon fairing, and generally speaking I didn’t give a stuff about the capacity once I’d got used to the bike.

Until it started showing its… well, its drawbacks, I suppose. The bike had been designed as a clubman racer, as the name suggested, but its chances were rapidly drowned by a flood of faster and above all more reliable machines from Japan; I soon discovered why.

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The Clubman had a constant loss electrical system. Yes, I know it wouldn’t have been designed to have that, but it simply refused to charge its battery no matter what I did. I’d put it on the charger overnight, ride to work in the morning and then back home and the battery would be just about flat by the time I got there. So I’d put it on the charger overnight…

As well, it lacked some of the luxuries of more modern bikes. Now most of you would probably be puzzled by the fact that I include a kill button as one of those luxuries, but picture this: I fire the bike up in the morning in the back street in Surry Hills where I lived, attempting to be on my way to work. No electric start, of course. I click it into gear and the revs slow as if the engine is about to stop, so I give it a bit of a rev. But I give it a bit too much of a rev, and the carburettor slide sticks, all the way up. The bike flies off, displacing my feet from the foot pegs.

I’m lying on the bike like Clark Kent who’s forgotten to change into his Superman duds, desperately trying to reach inside the front of the fairing to turn off the ignition key.

Then a taxi comes out of a side street and blocks what little is left of the street in front of me.

I will leave you to imagine the rest. I did not hit the taxi, but I did go down in a roaring heap.

Fortunately the damage to the bike was minimal. It was a bit different for me…

Despite that, my then-girlfriend and I loaded the little thing up with camping gear and rode it down to Kangaroo Valley. We hadn’t meant to go to Kangaroo Valley; we’d meant to just pass through on our way to the South Coast. But the gearbox blew up in Kangaroo Valley and stranded us.

Fortunately, hitchhiking was still easy then and we got home, sans Clubman. I had to rent a ute to bring it home, and soon after that I disposed of it and replaced it with – ah, you really don’t want to know.

The reason that bike lasted so long with me was that it was magic on a twisty road. It handled as if it was equipped with telepathy, and its narrow tyres clung to the road like… er, well, something really narrow and clingy. It was pure joy to ride, even better than the Ducati 750SS I bought some years later which handled just about as well but appeared to be in the pay of my physiotherapist. The Clubman might have been diminutive but it always felt bigger, and it was remarkably comfortable.

Many years later, in its memory, I bought a Honda XR500 TT2, which looked a lot like the Crusader but turned out to be a bit average in handling and even performance, despite no doubt having more than the Enfield’s 29 horsepower. I still liked it, and with my usual dedication to screwing bikes up I fitted it with a 650 engine from a Dominator.

Ask not where that went…

What’s the moral here? Very simple, really. Buy whatever takes your fancy, and you’ll probably have heaps of stories to tell in later years! D

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

23/02/2017 2:13 pm

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2/03/2017 10:36 am

BOR IS

IF I WAS AN L-PLATER T

his year of Our Lord 2017 is so not the year to be an L-plater.

But since I cannot travel back in time to an age when a 16-yearold could go out and buy a firebreathing, chick-magnetising 1100cc motorcycle, make his bones on it and thus become a man, I have to work with what I’ve got.

And it’s not good.

The greasy junta of Nazis running Victoria is making L-platers wear fluoro vests. These mealy-mouthed reptiles will tell you it’s because of “safety”, but it’s not. It’s a serious effort by the government to de-cool motorcycling to the point where the narcissistic millennials will decide it’s not for them.

So if I was a motorcycle-wanting teenager, I would immediately move from Victoria. The fishing village of Melbourne and its black-clad Totenkopf divisions is not the place to learn how to ride motorcycles.

Pick another state.

The next choice is of course a suitable motorcycle. It must be a motorcycle that behaves like a motorcycle, and it must get me laid.

So therefore it must be cool.

I have looked at the LAMs lists offered up by the fascists who make these decisions (and they are much the same in every state) and I can tell you without any equivocation you will never see a real-life naked woman if you buy any of the following motorcycles: a Lifeng Regal Raptor 350, a Jonway Malibu 320, a Hyosung GT250, or one of those stupid monkey bikes made for clowns and gibbons to ride in circuses.

I happen to like naked women, and a man of my age certainly knows a good deal about such things, so you’d do well to heed me in this regard. So if I was you, and I wanted something giggly and giddy with really long legs to get into a cab and follow me home (how much arse does it suck that you can’t pillion on L-plates, huh?), I would be looking at the following…

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The biggest, nastiest and most brutal dirtbike-turned-motard offers two options.

Buy something that’s been hottedup to race in the desert. Yamaha’s WR450, anything by KTM that’s over 500cc, and all the big Husabergs and Husqvarnas are the go here.

The other option is something way cooler, way better in terms of sexy, and will both get you laid and make you into a proper man. You can even grow a beard and get tattoos without people thinking you’re one of them hipster she-boys.

Any Norton 650SS made from 1961 to 1967. What? You don’t want a bike that does 180km/h and smells like burning sex-oil? Of course you do.

Any late-60s to early-70s Triumph Bonneville. There is nothing on this earth that is cooler or sexier or offers more of an opportunity to meet hot chicks on their way home from a party than you fixing your Bonneville in a servo at four am in the morning. Nothing.

Please note that I would not include the current crop of LAMs 300s in my shopping list.

While they are great bikes, they will not try and kill you. They are gentle and kind and easy to ride, and few things go wrong with them. So they’re great if you’re not really sure motorcycle-riding is for you and you just want to test the water, so to speak.

But if you want to commit. Really commit. And if you want to drink deep from the gushing spigot of motorcycling incarnate, then buy something worthwhile.

After all, what is it you want her to see when she’s following you home in the cab?

Twelve-o’clock hell-wheelies and race-engines being bounced off the rev-limiter?

True old-school iron back-firing its Pom evil into the night as it spits its Zener diodes into the windscreen of her Uber?

Or a ubiquitously wretched Ninja 300 with a cheap Chinese aftermarket pipe you got on eBay for $50?

So once you decide you want to ride the business, the only thing you then have to do is to look the business.

Put an open-face helmet on your head. All you’re doing in a full-face lid is hiding and hoping the pretty graphics will distract from the fact you can’t actually ride and have a pimple problem.

A black leather jacket. Buy a good one and you’ll only have to buy another one every ten or so years. And they will only look better with age.

None of that trendy textile bollocks with white, red or yellow inserts.

You’re still going to be invisible to car-drivers, so you might well look good and be invisible.

And wear nothing that is brown.

Ever. Brown is a smell, not a colour.

Then jeans, boots, and job done.

See? It’s not all that hard, is it?

Of course, I am very pleased that I am not an L-plater in 2017. It sucks harder than an industrial sludgepump when the government decides what you’re allowed to ride, huh?

But at least the options I have given you will mitigate the pain of being a wellbehaved slave.

Hopefully. D

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

23/02/2017 2:15 pm

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24/02/2017 11:37 am

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50

AMM

APRIL 2017

MAKE YOUR BIKE BETTER / YAMAHA MT-09 / NINJA 1000 / TMAX 530 / TOP TOURS / POTM:YARAKA

ISSUE #2, VOL 5