Australian Motorcyclist Issue #47

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Editor Stuart Woodbury

Editor Emeritus J Peter Thoeming

Sales Manager Ralph Leavsey-Moase ralph@ausmotorcyclist.com.au

Photo Editor Nick Wood

Designer Amy Hale

Photographers Nick Wood Photography, Half-Light Photography

Contributors Robert Crick, Mike Grant, Jacqui Kennedy, Robert Lovas, Phil Gadd, Boris Mihailovic, Lester Morris, The Possum,Guy Stanford, Stuart Strickland, Michael Walley, Colin Whelan

Editorial contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com.au

Subscription enquiries www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au info@ausmotorcyclist.com.au 0412 220 680 or 0418 421 322

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Australian Motorcyclist Magazine is published by Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111 Phone 0412 220 680 or 0418 421 322

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What’s he blabbing on about now?

Our last cover image has got you all in a bit of a fizz. Words like, “What the hell is that”, and “What the f#$k is that shit” are the most common terms being spoken to us via the phone and email. Each time, both The Bear and I said, “Well, what do you reckon it is”? The answer each time, “Salt”. You were all wrong, it’s lithium, as in lithium batteries! So while most of our covers are pretty obvious in what they show, we do like to run the occasional cover image that gets you guessing and this one had you all talking, which is excellent! Keep up the great work! The pic is set in Peru, by the way.

You may have been reading my babblings over the last couple of years and noticed that I mention the Period 6 Yamaha FZR1000 race bike I have been building with my mate Chris? Well, after two and a half years of blood, sweat and thousands of dollars it’s finished and ready to race! The last month as it finally all came together has been quite exciting. Knowing that all that money Chris and I have forked out each month has finally produced a great machine and it isn’t just a pile of bike parts sitting around has been the best time. The bike would have been ready a few months ago but I decided we had to have lightweight wheels and not run the standard FZR1000 wheels, so more money and machined spacers and caliper mounts had to be spent/made. I also changed my mind three times as to what front calipers we’d run, I ended up deciding on Brembo 40mm spaced calipers which were a period caliper and an excellent

performer. With our good mate, Shaun at D Moto Motorcycle Engineering we also decided to run a rear Brembo because the standard FZR1000 caliper weighs a bazillion kilos.

One massive cost throughout this project has been the cost of changing most of the steel bolts to titanium. That stuff is as expensive as hell and turns your wallet to ash quicker than a thousand degree fire would burn the ends of your fingers if you dared touch it!

The FZR1000’s, or “Nor’aha” (Norton/Yamaha) as we’ve sort of named it first outing will be the Island Classic in late January at Phillip Island with Classic TT winning rider, Alex Pickett pushing it to its limits. Come along and check out this work of art and say g’day! Its second outing will be the International Festival of Speed at Sydney Motorsport Park in March 2017. We will do a bit of a story on the Nor’aha in a future issue.

I’m so proud of The Bear, his fitness regime he tells me he’s on is coming along nicely as he walked further at Eicma than he did at Intermot, soon he’ll be running in the City to Surf –not bad for an old fella. LOL! Seriously though, The Bear reckons he’s had enough of attending the shows after reporting on both Intermot and Eicma for more than thirty years and it’s my turn to go next year. Ralph! Where are you, Ralph?! Do you want to go and walk five hundred miles and look at pretty girls?

Enjoy Cheers, Stuart.

GRIZZLING FROMTHEBEAR

CLASSIC FIGHTERS AND HOW TO FIX THEM

You know about our wonderful 10 day New Zealand tour in April, right? It runs from the 8th to the 17th and includes four legendary mountain passes, four stunning national parks, jetboating, whale watching and even a helicopter ride with a glacier landing – all covered by the very reasonable tour price. On top of that, the first five riders to book after this magazine hits the stands will score a Giant Loop Columbia Dry Bag valued at $247.59, from our friends at Adventure Moto.

But on top of that, it also includes a Platinum Gourmet Day Pass to the Omaka Classic Fighters Airshow! This attracts some of the most beautifully restored (and of course flying) warbirds in the world. I’m not ashamed to say that my tongue is already hanging out. And just to show how popular warbirds are becoming, here’s a Haynes xqthe real thing, too. I checked. I still can’t quite get over it. I wonder if there are any Messerschmitts on E-Bay? I rather fancy the G model.

Anyway, whether you have one or not, come and look at the planes and the South Island with us. Email office@ motorbiketours.co.nz for more details and bookings. Be quick and score one of those dry bags!

AND HERE’S ANOTHER FIGHT

You may recall that in issue #46, in this column, I sounded a warning about the introduction of self-drive cars. There had been a serious accident with one of them which hit a motorcycle rider in Norway, and it seemed that nobody had really taken motorcycles into account when they were programming self-drive vehicles.

Everything you need to know to maintain your Messerschmitt Bf109, from Haynes Manuals.

“As the automotive world ties itself in knots trying to work out what selfdriving cars will do when they encounter a pedestrian, pushbike or runaway pram, one group has been largely neglected. Having received a letter from motorcycle groups concerned about rider safety around cars running semi-autonomous driver assists, the agency responsible for granting type approval in Holland (RDW) has decided to test new semiautonomous driving systems to see how they deal with two-wheeled road users. “Chief among the concerns of RDW is human driver attention, or a lack thereof. Although systems like Tesla Autopilot are able to handle steering, throttle and brakes on the highway, they still currently rely on an alert driver to act as a failsafe.

should be mandatory for companies seeking European type approval.

“‘We are very pleased with the outcome of this first meeting with the experts of RDW,’ says Dolf Willigers, General Secretary of Federation of European Motorcyclists’ Associations.

‘We are going to act together and we will see in the field tests to which extent the technique takes motorcyclists into account.

“‘In the coming years this will continue to be an important issue for FEMA and we want to ensure that motorcyclists literally are not overlooked in the development of the newest generation of cars. The test program can have lasting effects on road safety for motorcyclists in Europe and therefore I am particularly proud that the motorcyclists’ community works together and will cooperate with the authorities responsible for allowing such sophisticated cars on public roads.’

In our time with an Autopilot-equipped Tesla, we needed to grab the wheel a number of times, as the car misread lane markings or didn’t react quickly enough to merging cars. Had we not been awake, and had those merging cars been motorbikes, our review might have read like a traffic accident report.

This is, of course, a major bummer. But all is not lost; there are people in responsible positions in the world who really are responsible; here’s a followup from FEMA, the Federation of European Motorcycle Associations, as published in the New Atlas web zine:

“The RDW is planning to cooperate with major European motorcycling organizations to test a range of new cars running semi-autonomous driver assists. As well as making sure such vehicles can correctly detect motorcyclists and respond accordingly, the tests aim to work out a set of techniques motorcyclists can use to be spotted by self-driving systems. According to the RDW, these tests

“The testing program will be laid out in the first quarter of 2017, and the groups involved will brush up on research about self-driving cars and motorbikes before conducting field tests later in the year. Currently, the RDW and motorbike interest groups believe the systems add to road safety, but only if they are used by alert drivers.”

Ah yes, alert drivers… but how alert are they going to be when their car drives itself? There’s a basic mismatch here.

Peter ‘The Bear’ Thoeming

Giant Loop is the pioneer of the biomorphic motorcycle saddlebag system that allows you to carry your gear on almost any motorcycle without racks.

No matter if you are a sports, trail or big bore adventure rider, you will appreciate travelling lighter and further with the Giant Loop high performance “Adventure Proof” soft luggage and packing systems for your ride.

Giant Loop is the ideal luggage system to take touring, especially when you are saddling up on a rental or a loaner or have too many bikes in the shed.

The Great Basin Saddlebag is now 100% waterproof with a set of three (RFwelded) roll top waterproof Dry Pods to keep your gear sorted and dry at all times. The Great basin holds up to 60 Litres and is the ideal bag to ride behind you on just about any motorcycle. Double your luggage capacity when you add a 100% waterproof Colombia Dry Bag.

Great Basin Saddlebag

Columbian Dry Bag

Gas Bag Fuel Safe Bladder

Fandango Tank Bag Pro

Diablo Tank Bag Pro

Coyote Roll Top Saddlebag

Zigzag Handlebar Bag

BLACK’S THE NEW BLACK, LADIES!

Black Arrow Label

Finding a fashionable leather jacket for women riders has long been a hard slog; but ladies, look no further than the super fashionable range from Black Arrow Label. The secret is that they are producing Kevlar lined leather jackets with pockets for protectors that look just like fashion jackets, but are actually motorcycle riding jackets. The range of jackets is designed in limited colours but a pleasantly wide range of sizes to suit all shapes and sizes. Visit www.blackarrowlabel.com for more. Oh, and they make jackets for blokes, too. The Bear was seen eyeing them and checking his wallet. Pity about all the moths he liberated.

waistband provides comfort and ease of moment while keeping the pack flush against the body. Visit www.flyingsologear.com to get your very own.

TOUGH AS STEEL

Paying the Price

Launched on 7th

December, Red Bull Media House presents ‘Paying the Price’, a documentary that chronicles the remarkable life of professional offroad racer Toby Price. Narrated by Mark Webber, the film follows Price’s emotional journey from country kid to the first Australian winner of The Dakar Rally, and every road bump in between. View it at Red Bull TV, which can be accessed anytime anywhere online at www.RedBull.TV, as an app, or via Smart TV. Red Bull TV is available free on iOS, Android and at www.RedBull.TV.

HEAD FOR THE HARBOUR!

Moto

Expo 2017

product range - the CAB chain adjuster brackets. An Australian made solution for motorcycles manufactured without bosses and threads for stand pickups. CAB replaces the standard chain adjuster axle plates with an Aussie made billetmachined anodised bracket which includes the pickup knob; all in beautiful black, silver or red anodised finish for durability. The range so far is available for the following models – Honda Grom, CBR300, 500 and 650 range and Yamaha MT-07 and XSR700. Visit

STRONGER THAN SUPERMAN

Flying Solo Gear Co. - Price - $60

The people at Flying Solo Gear saw the need for a ballistic style strength, abrasion-resistant and water-resistant daypack to give your electronics and credit cards a fighting chance in bad weather or a crash. They are made from

Kevlar/carbon-fibre cloth integrated into the main compartment to reduce damage from puncture or abrasion and with a water-resistant Ripstop exterior and interior shell which helps to keep the moisture out and your items dry. Cotton

The brand new $1.5 billion Sydney International Convention Centre (ICC) in Darling Harbour will be the venue for next year’s Sydney Motorcycle Show. Tony Weber, Chief Executive of the Federal Chamber of Automotive Industries (FCAI), made the announcement at the opening of Melbourne Motorcycle Expo 2016.

The Sydney Motorcycle Show was originally held at the former Darling Harbour halls.

“We’re very excited about bringing the show to this brand new venue and the industry is determined to put on a really great exhibition next November,” Mr Weber added. Australian Motorcyclist will be there. Come and say g’day!

CATCH THAT ‘CAB’

Oggy ‘CAB’ Chain Adjuster

Brackets - Price - $149 - $179

The awesome folk at Kenma would like to introduce a new addition to the Oggy

www.kenma.com.au or your local bike shop and make your life easier.

STOP PRESS

Triumph Motorcycle distribution

There has been a rumour that PS Importers were not going to continue as the importers of Triumph Motorcycles in Australia and that in fact Triumph Motorcycles themselves would take over in the near future. This rumour is false. PS Importers will long continue to do the great job of distributing Triumph Motorcycles and now Aprilia, Moto Guzzi and Vespa and Piaggio within Australia. D

• Polyester 600 Denier Nylon

• Removable CE Approved Elbow, Shoulder & Back Armour

• High Impact Plastic Shoulder Protection

• Removable Aquashield Membrane Liner

- 100% Waterproof and Breathable

• 4 External and 1 Internal pocket

• Adjustable Waist & Wrist Cuffs with Velcro Tabs

• Reflective Material

• Available in MENS & LADIES Colours Black & Black/White

• Available in Mens XS-3XL & Ladies XS-2XL

• Polyester

•

• Super Protective Heavy Duty 500D Ballistic Nylon

• Removable CE Approved Elbow & Shoulder Armour

• Removable High Density Foam Back Protector

• Removable Aquashield Membrane Liner

- 100% Waterproof and Breathable

• Waist & Arm Adjusters

•

• Dual Liner System

• Removable Waterproof/Breathable Liner

• Removable Quilted Liner

• Stretch Panels at Back of Shoulders and Elbows

• Reflective material on front and back

• Adjustable Velcro Waist Adjusters

• Adjustable Waist, Arm and Cuff Adjusters

• Rubber Covered Studs

• Zip to Pants Feature

• Available in Colours Black & Black/Red

• Available in sizes XS-4XL, Stout 1, Stout 2 & Stout 3

• Available in MENS & LADIES sizes in colours Black/Blue, Black/Grey, Black/Red, Black/Pink

• Available in Mens XS-4XL & Ladies XS-2XL

• Brand New Styling

• Removable CE Approved Elbow, Shoulder & Back Armour

• 100% Waterproof and Breathable

• Stretch Panels at Back of Shoulders and Elbows

• 5 Air Flow System Vents

• 2 External & 2 Interior Pockets

• Adjustable Waist and Wrist Cuffs with Velcro Tabs

• Adjustable Bicep and Forearm Fasteners

• Removable Quilted Lining

• Available in Sizes XS-3XL

Ducati Monster 1200 r

R-Rated

Hottie Words Stua Rt

Photos Nick Wood p H otog R ap H y

WhenDucati released the current Monster 1200 I instantly fell in love with how good a bike it is, but when I heard about the R version earlier this year I immediately thought this would be something special – and it is.

The L-twin engine is an “R-rated” version that makes you think of things to be mentioned behind closed doors, the Ohlin’s suspension is tastier than tasty itself and the Brembo braking package will make you hungrier to go for that ultimate late braking manoeuvrer. But this isn’t where the R version stops, the exquisiteness runs through to the special paintwork, the super lightweight Marchesini forged alloy wheels, separate rider and pillion footpegs, Ohlins adjustable steering damper, smaller tail piece, carbon front guard and the nose fairing, to give you a unique ride.

This “R-rated” Monster 1200 engine has been given bigger throttle bodies (56mm) and lower cylinder head gasket to give higher compression (13.1). The engine has improved efficiency for compliance with Euro 4 emission standards. This all combines to produce maximum power of 117.7kW at 9250 rpm and maximum torque of 131.4Nm at 7750 rpm, whilst maintaining smooth delivery at low and medium rpm. This is a 10% increase in power and 5.5% more torque. The massive exhaust headers are 58mm in diameter, which makes them look very imposing swirling their way along the right hand side of the bike. They flow into redesigned twin mufflers which I think should be ditched for some tasty Termi’s or similar.

Acceleration is vigorous at low to mid rpm, but increases somewhat from around 6500rpm up to redline. It is the kind of engine you would expect to be found in a “monster”. Mated up to the 6-speed gearbox which lacks the quickshifter that really should be there for this kind of bike. The ratios are spread wide, giving you good low rpm for touring at highway speeds in sixth. Around town I wouldn’t go any higher than fifth.

Fully adjustable 48mm titanium nitride-coated Öhlins forks with black-

" IT IS THE KIND OF ENGINE YOU WOULD EXPECT TO BE FOUND IN A “ MONSTER ”

anodised bottoms and bodies and a fully adjustable Öhlins rear shock are simply like eating pure gold for dinner [Eh? – the Sub]. They are the best and they work the best. Turn in is fast with so much feel through the front Pirelli Supercorsa tyre that any other bike feels lacking. The rear shock gives the rear tyre good traction and a ride that lets you know you’re on nothing but the best suspension.

The Öhlins adjustable steering damper is certainly needed on a bike like this. Under hard acceleration the front does like to twitch if the road is a little rough. I ended up having the damper on four clicks; that still gives some twitching, but allows the handlebar to be easily moved around at slow speed.

The Monster has a wet clutch with ‘slipper’ function actuated by a Brembo master cylinder. Thanks to its progressive self-servo mechanism, it operates smoothly and progressively when shifting down fast.

Styling is pure “look at me”. Not only will you know you’re riding something special but onlookers will too. The lightweight forged alloy wheels are just stunning and purposeful for better handling and acceleration and it’s not until you look at the standard Monster 1200 versus the R version that you notice the separate rider and pillion footpegs, which really give the R a more ‘racy’ appeal.

SPECS

DUCATI

MONSTER 1200 R

PRICE: $27,490 (Red), $27,990 (Black) (plus on-road charges)

WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance

SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 15,000km or 12 months

The instrument panel is the latest technology TFT display and has three functions – Core, Full or Track, each designed to display information suitable for different uses and with a gear indicator in each display screen. As nice as this is the screen is impossible to see with direct sunlight hitting it, which can make it a little dicey especially around school zone times when you’re really trying to maintain that 40km/h speed limit. I did try the screen on both Day and Night settings but that didn’t make any difference.

As usual with a Ducati of this level you get a comprehensive electronics package. This consists of Ducati’s “Safety Pack”. ABS, traction control and three riding modes allow you to set the bike just how you’d like it in a variety of conditions. There’s also LED lighting front and rear.

Brembo braking offers you the latest M50 monobloc calipers as fitted to the Panigale and they give you masses of stopping power with plenty of feel to push them to the limit if you so desire, all without the latest generation Bosch ABS unit kicking in, unless you’re silly. To buy such an exclusive bike, the Ducati Monster 1200 R does require a decent wad of cash, but boy what a ride you’ll be on – as if all your dreams have come true at the one time. D

ENGINE: Liquid-cooled L-twin cylinder, 4-stroke, Desmodromic, 4 valves per cylinder

BORE x STROKE: 106 x 67.9mm

DISPLACEMENT: 1198.4cc

COMPRESSION: 13.0:1

POWER: 117.7kW @ 9250rpm

TORQUE: 131.4Nm @ 7750rpm

TRANSMISSION: 6-speed, wet multi-plate slipper clutch, chain final drive

SUSPENSION: Front, 48mm inverted fork, adjustable preload, compression and rebound, travel 130mm. Rear, monoshock, adjustable preload, compression and rebound, travel 159mm.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 830mm, weight 207kg (wet), fuel capacity 17.5 litres, wheelbase 1509mm

TYRES: Front, 120/70/ZR17. Rear, 200/55/ZR17

FRAME: Steel trellis

BRAKES: Front, twin 330mm discs with radial four-piston ABS calipers. Rear, 245mm disc, twin-piston ABS caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 6.42 litres per 100km, premium unleaded

THEORETICAL RANGE: 272km

COLOURS: Red, Black

VERDICT: R-rated fun

WATCHWORD: ADVENTURE!

MILAN MOTORCYCLE SHOW 2016

WORDS THE BEAR PHOTOS EVERYONE

In his usual irreverent way, our Ursine Scoopmeister covers the Milan Motorcycle Show, wandering the mighty halls of Milan’s Expo with bleeding paws…

Whata great show, with a spectacular range of new bikes. Like the recent Cologne show, Milan was just bursting with new and improved machinery, and it was coming from all over the world. Even China contributed new bikes, one of them even a Dakar competitor complete with a competitive French-based team. In fact,

Royal Enfield’s new Himalayan in its home territory.

adventure touring seemed to be the theme of many of the launches and this year, for the first time that I can recall, a lot of the focus was on smaller bikes. Adventure travel 250s? You bet!

The stands were full, the bikes were fascinating and the gang was all there. The beer was even cold, something you can’t always guarantee in Italy. What could go wrong? Here’s a roundup of the most interesting bikes presented on the night before and at the show.

DUCATI

It was the night before Christmas, or at least the night before press day at EICMA, the Milan motorcycle show, which is much the same thing for me. In its never-ending quest to try out every small and medium-sized theatre in Milan, Ducati had invited us to a new venue in an even more remote and difficult to reach part of town than usual. Mario, our unshakeable bus driver, got us there anyway. The trip was well worthwhile, because Claudio Domenicali resisted the temptation to fill the screen and the evening with sales graphs and instead introduced several new bikes.

One bike that was received with special enthusiasm was the Multistrada 950.

It is “designed to provide all the excitement of the Multistrada in a way that makes it more accessible and versatile”, according to Mr Domenicali. Cheaper, too, although there was no price quoted. The Multistrada 950 is for those who want to get in some touring, possibly two up, and an agile fun bike the rest of the time.

While Ducati Scrambler Café Racer sounds a bit strange – Scrambler or Café Racer? – the execution is good, with a smart-looking bike featuring classic café racer parts such as clip-on handlebars. The Black Coffee paint with gold wheels looks terrific. The appearance of the Desert Sled takes a bit of getting used to, but once you’re past the feeling that a Ducati has been mated with a DT-1 to produce it, things begin to fall into place. Ducati has strengthened the frame and designed a new swingarm to go with the intended application of the bike. It’s nice to see the 19 inch wheel on the front and the adjustable Kayaba suspension front and back. The Desert Sled should be a big hit in its original home, California, and elsewhere.

Before that, we had seen two new Scramblers (genuinely new models, not just parts-bin specials), the Café Racer and the Desert Sled.

The 1299 Superleggera was initially rolled out without its fairing, and for a moment I thought that Ducati had aced every motorcycle designer in the world by launching the bike that way - more naked than naked, just the essentials. Of course I was wrong. Another example, equipped with its fairing, rolled out onto the stage. Ducati has gone out of its way to create something special with this bike. The Superleggera is the first ever factory bike to be equipped with a carbon fibre frame, swingarm, subframe and wheels. The fairing is also made of carbon fibre, and underneath that skin lies the highest-performing version of the Superquadro engine. Producing 215 hp, it is the most powerful factory twin-cylinder ever built, according to Ducati.

The bike is fitted with a new electronics package which uses a 6-axis Inertial Measurement Unit (6D IMU) to manage the “incomparable” array of electronic controls which includes a newly calibrated Bosch Cornering ABS system.

Want one? Sorry. The 500 examples being made have already sold out. Maybe you can pick up a secondhand one. Make sure you get the race kit with it!

A couple of glasses of a decent bubbly and one of Ducati’s excellent

Claudio Domenicali presents… the Ducati launch was simulcast all over the world.

Scrambler, café racer or both? You choose.

The Desert Sled brings back a lot of memories.

prosciutto crudo sandwiches and we were being herded out to the bus.

HONDA

A lengthy bus ride later (Milan’s traffic and labyrinthine streets make all journeys lengthy) we found Honda’s press launch. We were delayed by a mistaken visit to another venue with the same name, which is a new trick even for the inventive Milanese.

X marked the first spot. The X-ADV is, we’re told, “a new breed of motorcycle, that continues Honda’s long tradition of finding innovative ways to create products that enhance and enrich its customers’ lifestyles. It mixes rugged SUV style, off-road appeal and premium specifications, thanks to a tough chassis, long travel suspension, four-piston radial-mount brakes and a torque-laden 745cc twincylinder engine driving through Dual Clutch Transmission.”

Sounds good, right? The crunch, however, is that it’s a scooter. Is the world ready for an Adventure Scooter? I do not know, but I suspect that Australia is one place that is not.

The CBR1000RR Fireblade, however, which joins the upgraded SP and new SP2 versions to complete a trio of Fireblades to mark 25 years for the badge, should be well received indeed. For 2017, the bike gets a comprehensive electronic control package featuring a new gyroscopic ABS system, Honda Selectable Torque Control, Selectable Engine Brake and Power Selector. All of these can be adjusted with the Riding Mode Select System based on MotoGP technology. The X-ADV scooter was not all for the Adventure range. A year after the introduction of the CRF1000L Africa Twin, Honda’s off-road CRF family has grown with the dual purpose CRF250L which “brings the promise of off-road fun within easy reach of every rider”, says Honda. For 2017, it is both more powerful thanks to a new throttle body and revised intake and exhaust systems and safer with switchable ABS. The CRF family also has a totally new member, inspired by the CRF450 Rally race machine – the CRF250 Rally, an adventure bike which offers even more offroad performance, with a 10 litre fuel tank, big front brake disk, long travel suspension and high ground clearance. Honda claims that it can

reach 350 km on a single refill. There is a strange claim in the press kit that it weighs only 17 kg, but I presume that’s a typo. I like this bike, and can see quite a bit of potential for it. After all, I once put quite a few ks on a Honda 250 trail bike…

They had a halfway decent white wine, which made up for the crowding. Yamaha next… or maybe not.

YAMAHA

Deep sigh. The Yamaha launch was on immediately after the Honda event, and it would have taken the intrepid Mario something like three quarters of an hour to get us to the venue through Milan’s traffic. Considering we were already an hour late and with most of the journos aboard the bus suffering from near-fatal jet lag (many had arrived in Europe only moments before the bus collected them at the airport), the vote was to return to the Hotel Michelangelo for an overdue collapse. I held up the bar with some of the hardier journeymen and we swapped goss and the kinds of poorquality jokes and ditties that make up so much of late night conversation.

Under the skin of the 1299 Superleggera.

Multistrada 950 – all the fun in a smaller package.

Excitement for the scooter fraternity (and sorority): Honda’s X-ADV adventure scooter.

The 25th Anniversary CBR1000RR Fireblade looked every bit the winner.

Unfortunately I have forgotten them; like C S Calverley “I cannot sing the old songs now! / It is not that I deem them low; / ‘Tis that I can’t remember how / they go.”

When I dropped by the Yamaha stand the next day, they had a neatlooking WR450F Rally bike, ready for the Dakar; a flash XSR900 Abarth, a premium café racer special rebuilt by the Italians with a range of exclusive lightweight components; and the new YZF-R6 Racing, inspired by YZR-M1 technology with the distinctive R-Series design .

The Rally bike is just for the Dakar, but the Yamalube Yamaha Official Rally Team is currently developing a specific ‘customer’ kit to transform your WR into a true wilderness racer. The kits are expected to be available for sale from July 2017.

A lot of the attention on Yamaha’s stand was directed at the scooters, and especially the TMAXs. Is that the plural of TMAX? Or is it TMAXes? And why the plural? Well, there are now three TMAXi. A hugely successful model since 2001, the TMAX has been joined by two new models, the SX and DX, as

well as being upgraded with, among other things, a new aluminium frame. The SX is a sportier version of the TMAX, while the DX is the luxury model with cruise control, an electric windscreen and heated grips and seat. We might organise a comparo of these three; sounds like it would be fun. And comfortable.

MONDIAL

First cab off the rank on the Press Day was Mondial, once known for a sleek shark of a sports bike called Piega 1000 but now reduced to making 125s.

The XSR900 Abarth has been rebuilt by – you guessed –Abarth, a division of Fiat.

Beautiful in black – the base TMAX looks smarter than ever.

“‘Wot’s in a name?” especially if it’s ‘Hipster’, the awful moniker attached to Mondial’s HPS 125? We’ve seen this bike before, and I have commented on the name, so we’ll let it go and

two other Mondials on the way, a Supermoto and an Enduro, both also 125s. And that, as they say, is all she wrote.

Let’s see, off to Triumph in Hall number what? Oh, before we go: the same company that produces Mondial, now also has a brand called Overbike – not to be confused with the motorcycle for dentists called the Overbite. There are a couple of scooters and a 250cc adventure bike called

the Tour, apparently complete with panniers and such. With a 16 litre fuel tank, 175kg dry weight and 795mm seat height it sounds like the answer to a duck’s prayer. Looks good, too, like a shrunken BMW GS. I don’t know if we have an Australian importer, but I’ll chase this one up.

TRIUMPH

While hotfooting it from Hall whatever to Hall diddly, following the seamy stream of Journos, I wonder what the motorcycle scene would look like now if some of the other great

On the road. Two up. Mile after glorious mile. The Indian Roadmaster has been designed and built for the long haul. With the craftsmanship and innovation that riders demand. Like the all new Indian Motorcycle Ride Command System with two finger, glove-touch technology. Heated touring seats. Power windshield. Remote locking saddlebags and trunk. Cruise Control. And, of course, our award-winning Thunder Stroke 111 engine. The Indian Roadmaster is your ultimate ride.

TMAX DX is intended to provide the ultimate in luxury.

Equipped with switchable running modes, the SX is the quick version.

The Mondial, er, Hipster 125.

English brands had found their John Bloor and come back the way Triumph did.

Imagine, a modern Vincent or Velocette – not the LE, no, no – to compete with the bikes on the stand in front of me. But of course things didn’t happen that way, and Triumph fully deserves its position as the British flag-carrier.

The company is making the most of its newly-revised Bonneville engines. There’s a new Street class 900cc Scrambler, and a new 1200cc bike, the Bobber.

Fitted with the high torque engine, the Street Scrambler offers much more torque and power low down and in the mid-range than the previous model. It also has a lower seat. Styling has also been sharpened to the point where the bike’s appearance is beautifully integrated. It has torque assist, a 19 inch front wheel, longer rear shocks and wider handlebar. Electronics include switchable ABS and traction control and ride-by-wire, and the bike has a decent-looking bash plate. The pillion seat can be changed for an aluminium rack, and they tell me the bike has ”Bear Trap” front foot pegs. Aww. There are more than 150 accessories ready to go for the Scrambler.

You’ve got to hand it to Triumph when it comes to authenticity. Well, imitation authenticity. As if the fuel injection carefully disguised as carburettors on the Classic bikes isn’t enough, the Bobber gets a fake brake – the rear stopper is designed to look like a drum. The key components have been incorporated and hidden from view elegantly. Along with

hiding away key technology like the ECU, ABS modulator and immobiliser, the signature Bonnie straight-line exhaust pipe run has a hidden cat box.

Well, that’s what it says in the press release…

The rest of the bike follows suit with the bobber look; as Triumph says, “It perfectly encapsulates the minimalistic styling principles, muscular stance and purposeful engineering attitude of a genuine Bobber.” Which is to say that it is not an imitation, it really is a real bobber. It has the clean lines and low stance, single seat, wide flat bars, minimal bodywork and headlight, sculpted tank, wire spoked wheels, with wide rear wheel and that all important hard tail look.

The high-torque Bonneville 1200cc engine has a dedicated state of Bobber

tune for even more torque and power low down and twin slash cut sawn off peashooter silencers and unique twin airbox provide the pure Bonneville hot rod sound. There are more than 150 accessories all ready for you to ooh over.

It really does look as if Triumph is not going to set a single foot wrong with its new product development.

SUZUKI

It looks as if Suzuki had its eyes firmly on Europe this year. New models included the Burgman 400, GSX-S 125 and the GSX 250R, while updates saw the GSX-R 1000, GSX-R 125, GSX-S 750 and the V-Strom 1000, 1000XT, 650 and 650XT sharpened up. The V-Stroms especially have benefited from this with a much neater, more modern look (including that ‘beak’ reminiscent of the DR-BIG) and some technical updates.

The remaining new bike is a V-Strom as well, but in line with many other manufacturers it’s a 250. Powered by a 248cc parallel twin, it will go for a claimed 500km on a tank of fuel. Panniers are optional.

BMW

There are not many motorcycling niches left for BMW to invade. This year at EICMA there were two completely new bikes – a bagger and a quarter litre dual purpose motorcycle – plus two variations on the R nineT. But that wasn’t all, because two other, well-established machines received some serious attention.

The flat twin GS has dominated its market segment for many years, and BMW has been careful to avoid damaging its reputation. Instead of making too many changes to the base model, Motorrad has introduced what

Bobber styling is spot on, even though Triumph has kept the front wheel a reasonable size.

The Street Scrambler is a lighter but also more accurate design than its predecessor.

Looking every bit like a big one, the V-Strom 250 joins the quarter litre Adventure gang.

Suzuki’s V-Strom 1000 looks very smart; it has lost the last touch of awkwardness.

it calls the two “style packages Rallye and Exclusive”, and they are intended to “give a BMW GS a more marked touch of enduro or distinguished style to suit its preferred area of use.”

The engine is the same, although it gets a new catalytic converter and data mapping, but the styling and

It might be called an Urban Scrambler, but it’s clearly meant to hold its own in the forest, too.

your BMW dealer and take a look at the new bikes; one of them might well be exactly what you want.

electronics of the bike have been updated and the number of factory variations and accessories has grown substantially. What we’re looking at here is mainly added variety, which ought to make the bike more attractive to an even larger number of buyers. One for the wild people and one for the dentists?

If you’ve ever considered buying an R 1200 GS you might want to pop into

Just to keep everyone on their toes, BMW has launched an updated R nineT and the R nineT Urban G/S: Motorrad calls them a “refined roadster with boutique manufacturing character” and a “boxer feeling in a classic enduro”. The latter bike is based really beautifully on the original R 80G/S, even down to the slash in the name which modern GSs have lost*). The R nineT’s original model, says BMW, “combined classic motorcycle design and modern technology with sophisticated craftsmanship” and the new “R nineT likewise radiates this boutique manufacturing character, supported by a range of optimised features.” The R nineT Urban G/S, on the other hand, “draws on the genes of the very first and legendary BMW R 80 G/S of the year 1980, transporting them into the modern era”. Well, fair enough, too. Both bikes look an absolute treat, and I had an original R 80 G/S so I’m keen to sample the new one. It will be just as easy to individualise these bikes using BMW parts as it is with the other R nineTs.

The next bike is one we’ve been waiting for for a while. It’s the new BMW G 310 GS. It is, according to BMW Motorrad, “a genuine GS”. Made in India like its stablemate G 310 R, it features the classic GS looks which should give it a lead in a market that has suddenly become highly

*The original G/S meant Gelände/ Strasse, or terrain/road. It was changed to Gelände Sport, GS, in 1987 – probably for marketing reasons.

competitive. Depending on the way you count them, up to half a dozen adventure bikes with roughly a quarter litre capacity will hit the market this coming season. The GS shares the R’s engine with its output of 25kW at 9500rpm and maximum torque of 28Nm at 7500rpm, but a 19-inch front wheel and extended spring travel make it a dual purpose machine. Another upgrade that is a little hard to believe is that for the K 1600 GTL. With its 118kW 6-cylinder in-line engine and its extensive equipment, the bike already provided luxurious touring, but BMW has taken it even further. The first thing you notice is that the bike is even better-looking (yes, big tourers can be beautiful); the suspension and ergonomics have also seen major upgrades. There are also many other changes including

New-look R 1200 GS is sharper, more dedicated-looking but retains GS family appearance.

A 310 Scrambler joins the R version, and I imagine it will be met by a lot of interest.

Every line of the new K 1600 B bagger says “America”.

The “plain” R nineT has received its share of updates, too.

Smarter, slimmer and with more electronics – that’s the updated BMW K 1600 GTL.

some cases, come many thousands of kilometres to find out about the new models, Piaggio management puts on a Punch and Judy show with idiotic banter. This time, the presenters spent the last quarter hour of their 60 minute, double-length presentation taking selfies up on stage. It’s not as if they don’t have new (motorcycle) models to introduce. To add insult to injury, at this, its home show Piaggio didn’t even have a press kit. Grow up. With the kind assistance of the Australian Piaggio agents, PS Imports, I did get some information about 2017 models which include the Vespa Elettrica. One of the few electric designs that look as if you’d actually ride one, the Elettrica is expected to be available in late 2017.

To celebrate the fifty year anniversary of the first Moto Guzzi V7, Piaggio introduced the third generation, the V7 III. A new engine means more power and the three versions, Stone, Special and Racer, take on stronger individuality and differ more from one another. Moto Guzzi also introduced a fourth version, called the

Anniversario, a numbered edition limited to 750 units.

The Moto Guzzi V9 Roamer and V9 Bobber are now distinguished by major differences, with two clearly distinct personalities: one more touring and the other sportier.

Aprilia’s Shiver 900 grows in displacement with a new 900cc V-twin engine, increasing not only power but more importantly, the maximum torque delivered throughout the rev range. The Aprilia Dorsoduro has been revamped as well and now displaces 900cc instead of 750. It also has a Marelli 7SM ECU.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON

from paint, can you really change on a current-model sports bike? Tyres, I suppose… Harley-Davidson, on the other hand, and a few other brands like Triumph (with the Classics) allows all sorts of customising. Take a look at the H-D parts catalogue some time.

KYMCO

Celebrating its 50th anniversary, Kymco also reintroduced the AK550 ‘touring’ scooter first shown a month ago in Cologne, another attempt (along with Honda’s Adventure scooter) to stretch the category. Will this one succeed? I’ll be happy to give it a try, but I wonder if the

factory shouldn’t have given more thought to luggage.

While continuing its introduction of the Milwaukee Eight (or Bonehead) engine, H-D also displayed the rest of the range including some very nicely customised Street bikes. I think the Motor Company is right in emphasising the “customisability” of its range (I hope there’s such a word). After all, so many of us want to personalise our bikes, and the integrated design of most modern machines makes that hard. What, apart

HUSQVARNA

Husky had a concrete USB stick. As in the building material. How cool is that in this virtual world! I mean, we were all impressed when Ducati, among others, offered a wooden stick last year but concrete… it was a good pointer to the coolth (coolness?) of the Vitpilen and Svartpilen 401 models on display on the stand. Their styling has been made somewhat more realistic than that of the designs introduced last year, so now they look both futuristic and rideable. Nobody will mistake you for a plain and simple commuter rider on one of these.

a new 900cc V-twin

Lady in red… each of the latest 946 Vespas will contribute to charity when sold.

Aprilia’s 900cc Dorsoduro in its new design, looking tighter than ever.

You saw the whole picture last month, here is the AK550’s comfy-looking seat.

of these. The Vitpilen 401 (White Arrow) sits in much the same niche as the bike it’s based on, KTM’s 390 Duke – a smart all-round road bike,

while the Svartpilen 401 (Black Arrow) is a street scrambler, the most popular type of bike at the show. With this kind of design, Husqvarna looks like being back on the road to… well, the road. Both bikes will be manufactured in India by Bajaj Auto.

ZERO

Zero’s 2017 bikes all get the Z-Force interior permanent magnet (IPM) motor which enables more aggressive

riding and higher sustained top speeds with 157Nm on the Zero SR and Zero DSR. “That’s more than any street-legal sport bike,” says Zero. Or someone speaking for Zero, I guess. Mr Zero? Hello?

The new Zero S travels up to 325km; “more range than any other production electric motorcycle” and “thrilling on twisty backroads”. The Zero DS “is the world’s most versatile electric motorcycle. Easy to control in the dirt and nimble on the streets, the Zero DS’s generous suspension travel and dual-purpose tires allow riders to traverse just about anything.” Another adventure bike? Only if you can count on current along the way, I guess, but a good dual purpose machine just the same. The new worry-free, zero maintenance batteries are designed to last the life of the motorcycle.

AKRAPOVIC

Akrapovic displays are always interesting, and this year’s stand marked the 25th anniversary of the firm. It’s hard to believe that the name has only been around for a quarter century when you see its brand on practically every other stand at the show! Akrapovic also had an historic display in downtown Milan, and between them they gave a wonderful history of the company. Now I just

The White Arrow, ready to be targeted. Have you got a bow somewhere?

Svartpilen, the Black Arrow, looks even better than the white one in my opinion.

It’s beginning to look as if electric bikes are going to be a sensible choice soon, or perhaps they are already.

Slip-on for a Ducati Scrambler is only one of a huge product lineup from Akrapovic.

CFMOTO

With an 18 litre fuel tank and long travel suspension, the 650MT is designed as an adventure bike with a difference: it looks more like a slick road bike. Created by the strategic partnership of CFMoto and design powerhouse Kiska, renowned for its design of KTM motorcycles since the nineties, the bike will be arriving here in early 2017.

The MT uses the same power plant as the road bike 650NK: a 649.3cc liquid cooled in line twin, 8-valve, DOHC with Bosch EFI, boasting 41.5KW at 9500rpm and 62NM of torque at 7000rpm (LAMS restricted). Seat height is 840mm.

Pricing is yet to be confirmed but I’d expect it to be reasonable.

ZONGSHEN

As one of the few Chinese brands to find its way into the Western market,

will do much for them in terms of appearance, but they have chosen the right environment to launch it. The bike will run in the next Dakar race, later this year, backed by a French/Chinese team. If they can turn in a creditable performance they will do a lot for the marque.

ROYAL ENFIELD

The game’s afoot in India. Just as Royal Enfield introduces its first genuinely home-designed model and announces that its new factory will take production capacity to 900,000 bikes a year, industry giant Mahindra lets slip that they’ve bought the BSA and Jawa brands. Presumably that means they will be launching

serious competition for Enfield. Back in the ‘70s when I was riding through India, the two-stroke 250cc Jawa (badged as a Yezdi) was the choice of the younger set while Enfields were for oldsters. The standing joke among Yezdi riders was that you didn’t get a warranty with an Enfield, you got a mechanic who ran along after you, collected all the bits that fell off and bolted them back on when you stopped.

Enfield has improved vastly since then, and Mahindra will have its hands full to match its market awareness.

The new Royal Enfield, the Himalayan, with its freshly designed single cylinder SOHC LS410 four stroke 411cc engine putting out 18kW at 6500rpm and 32Nm at

4000-4500rpm is a welcome addition to the light end of the adventure bike market. With the genes of the 350 and 500cc bikes – I rode a 350 recently in Sri Lanka and enjoyed it thoroughly – it should prove a handy machine. At 185kg ‘kerb weight’, a reasonable 800mm seat height and 15

CFMoto has taken an unusual approach in the design of its Adventure bike 650MT.

The Himalayan offers a considerably lighter look than the rest of the Royal Enfield lineup.

Completely new long stroke 411cc engine looks compact and smart.

fuel – plus good suspension travel and ABS – it will be an attractive proposition for some serious adventurers.

Build quality of the Himalayan looks pretty good and the design allows for a lot of adventure traveltype luggage. I am liking it.

THEME AND VARIATIONS

Not that that was all, of course. One brand which didn’t have a launch was Moto Morini with the stylish new 1200 Corsaro ZZ. All right, ZZ is not the most evocative name for a bike but that’s all that’s sleepy about it. Built with a claimed 99 per cent Italian components, the ZZ continues to be powered by the Bialbero CorsaCorta 1200cc engine which now meets Euro4. An interesting touch is that you will be able to pre-customise your ZZ during production; “the new motorcycle will also be the first customisable model, even complying with type approval requirements: our customers will have the opportunity to modify their Corsaro as they wish, while Moto Morini shall try and obtain a new type-approval,” says the factory. Impressive; and further, as Moto Morini says, “her soul is the same as ever: untamed, aggressive, audacious. On the other hand,

What hasn’t changed much is the dedicated custom section of the show. The customising displays at EICMA this year were rather limited and disappointing. This is one section that needs more work.

As always there were small stands all over the place, offering blinking lights and other bling from China (some of them pretty smart-looking) and oddball technology from Europe (the Impulse Drum Charger, “A turbo with no turbine”), as well as beautiful, often handmade, customising parts (South Garage, Milan, for airhead BMWs) and row upon row of thinly disguised Chinese 125s with fanciful European names (Aster etc). There were emergency call systems (dguard) and enough airbags to blow you away. There is a hoon buried not far below my furry surface. I just loved the shapes and graphics that adorned many of the helmets on show. Some of the designs are just mind-blowing (Hello Kitty is catching on), to the point where I wouldn’t wear the helmets for fear of distracting other road users from the traffic! Top marks for creativity. I have already got my paws onto one example from Roof (not the roof) which is imported into Australia by Cassons and which I will review shortly. It looks the goods! Possibly because it rather

is the place to do it. You’ll never find so many motorcycle people gathered in the one place anywhere else!

CODA

Yes, I hear you cry, that’s all very well – but Bear, what does it mean?

Where are we going, and who’s taking us?

It’s pretty simple, really. The Japanese are coming back from their self-imposed exile, initially with more updates than truly new models but with some new ideas and a bit of a spread of novelty. I would not call their showing at Milan ‘strong’, but at least it was cheerful and courageous. That means a lot, and I’m grateful for it.

India might be acting mainly as a manufacturing base for Europe, but it also has a huge and continuing success on its hands with Royal Enfield and will be following it up with BSA and Jawa from Mahindra, the giant car company which has bought the marques. Even the Chinese are beginning to understand marketing – it’s small time so far, but we can always hope. Zongshen has obviously realised that branding means something, and has launched a Dakar offensive. That’s got to be positive, especially if it catches on with other manufacturers.

Motorcycle shows are simply fun. Much more so than car shows, in my opinion, which just offer variations on the same theme and largely rely for their interest on concept vehicles. There are more themes, and definitely more variations which you can actually buy, at a bike show. And if you have something to sell, whether it’s a finished product or an idea, a bike show like EICMA

The truly new stuff is still coming from the Europeans. Led by BMW and KTM, they’re bringing new ideas, new concepts and new bikes to the market and I expect that this enthusiasm will pay off for them. The attention they’re paying to the small bike market should produce some future customers, too.

In America, meanwhile, interest in such things as electric bikes is growing and the two giants, H-D and Polaris, are stoking the fires. Sometimes it looks as if they aren’t too sure of the direction they want to go, but I suspect they do know what they want – even if they’re not always sure how they’ll get it.

All in all, folks, I think the news is good. I wouldn’t dare make any market predictions, but the lights are on and the machines are rolling… D

Moto Morini’s new Corsaro ZZ shares a kind of family look with its predecessor.

FLY TO THE BIRDS

OMAKA CLASSIC FIGHTERS AUSTRALIAN MOTORCYCLIST

MAGAZINE / SOUTH PACIFIC MOTORCYCLE TOURS

Book on our South Pacific Motorcycle Tour and the first 5 Riders will score a Giant Loop Columbia Dry Bag from our friends at AdventureMoto valued at $247.50. Don't leave home with out one!

We’ve had a lot of requests for our 2017 New Zealand tour and here it is! We’ve picked South Pacific Motorcycle Tours to run this one, specifically because of this fantastic tour they offer, including the Omaka Classic Fighters event.

If any of that gets you going, you’d better hurry and book your spot! You also get Peter “The Bear” Thoeming as your special host rider.

TOUR BOOKING & DATES…

South Pacific Motorcycle Tours www.motorbiketours.co.nz

office@motorbiketours.co.nz

Ph: +64 3 312 0066

Skype: ride.nz

Depart - Christchurch Saturday 08 April 2017

Return - Christchurch Monday 17 April 2017

KEY POINTS FOR THE TOUR ...

RIDING TIMES: 9am-4pm approx with breaks throughout the day for lunch, coffee, activities etc.

DISTANCE: 2500kms approximately REST OR RIDE: Blenheim for Omaka Classic Fighters Airshow – video: https://youtu.be/QGwi3ogieNU

RIDER COMPETENCE: For riders with safe motorcycle control in all situations

ROUTE GRADE: 100% asphalt, some challenging sections, multiple mountain pass switchbacks/hairpins

MOTORCYCLES: South Pacific Motorcycle Tours has late model bikes from various manufacturers for you to choose from, in different sized to suit all types of riders.

SUPPORT VEHICLE INFO: Tour guide on a motorcycle plus support vehicle with enclosed luggage trailer.

WHERE YOU’LL GO…

10 Day Omaka Classic Fighters Fully Guided AMM Tour - Easter 2017

Arrival Day: Fri 07 April

Christchurch Hotel Check-in and Happy Hour

Day 1: Sat 08 Christchurch to Mount Cook National Park

Day 2: Sun 09 Mount Cook National Park to Queenstown

Day 3: Mon 10 Explore Queenstown/ Queenstown to Wanaka

Day 4: Tue 11 Wanaka to Franz Josef

Glacier Village

Day 5: Wed 12 Franz Josef Glacier Village to Punakaiki

Day 6: Thu 13 Punakaiki to Nelson

Day 7: Fri 14 Nelson to Blenheim

Day 8: Sat 15 Spectacular Omaka

Classic Fighters Airshow

Day 9: Sun 16 Blenheim to Kaikoura

Day 10: Mon 17 Kaikoura to Christchurch D

ON TOP OF THE WORLD

MT WILSON DELIGHTS WORDS/PHOTOS BOB WOZGA

Not long ago, while I was setting up the campfire at Kandos with a group of friends, a couple of lads rocked up on their bikes and started putting up camp adjacent to ours. Rod and I, both being riders ourselves, came down to say hello and have a look at their bikes. I can’t remember their names so I’ll just call them Bill and Ted. Apparently they came all the way to Kandos after reading a story in a magazine about this place in the Wollemi National Park and wanted to check it out for themselves. So Bill and Ted set off on their Excellent Adventure to ride to Kandos and find bodacious babes but only found us, a group of middle aged youths on a weekend away from the grind of Sydney. A downer for

their expectations, but you can’t have everything. On the upside, the ride and campgrounds were just as good if not better than the story depicted.

Sharing the campfi re and a few drinks through the night, talk moved to rides close to Sydney that are often overlooked. Roads that are often glanced at while riding past, thinking to yourself, “I’ll check that out one day.” Roads that capture your interest while looking at a map when planning a ride to wherever that you don’t have time to explorethis time around.

Mt Wilson was mentioned. You have probably fl own past the sign on the way to Lithgow a thousand times, and at times have even wondered what lies at the end of the road.

I haven’t been to Mt Wilson for a long time. It is an eccentric little village in the wilderness. During the summer, we used to head up there and lilo along the Wollangambi River. During autumn, it is covered in the reds, golds and browns of an English village. There was also an incredible gravel road that linked Mt Wilson to Bilpin – Bowens Creek Road. I first explored this road in my Renault 12. Yes, it was a while ago. The road was narrow and only wide enough for one car in many places. Every now and then there were places to pass a car heading in the other direction. At the bottom of the road is a wooden bridge that crosses Bowens Creek. The road was built as a Depression make-work project that was common

for the day. It was a secondary path between Bilpin and Mt Irvine.

Bill mentioned he had been along this road not long ago, you can get over the bridge coming from Mt Wilson but further up the track towards Bilpin, the road is blocked and couldn’t get his bike through on his own. After reading of the poor lad that lost his V-Strom along the Bridle Track a few years back you can hardly blame him for being cautious and turning back. He said you could probably do it on a DRZ but on the Tenere on his own it was a bit too dicey. Looks like a road that must be revisited.

On a sunny morning, I loaded the bike with the essentials – fuel, water, tea, camera and headed out. Studying the map, there was one extra place that always intrigued me, Hassans Walls at Lithgow which was only a slight detour. To bypass the roadworks between Mt Victoria and Lithgow you can detour along Hartley Vale Road. This road comes off the Darling Causeway; the road is narrow in some parts, just keep an eye out for oncoming traffic. As you exit bends

and come into the Vale of Clwydd, a dirt road veers to the left leading to Hassans Walls and Bracey lookout. It’s only a short run but a nice stretch as it climbs up the hill giving glimpses of the valley below. There are warning signs at the beginning of the road to watch out for swerving cars and black bicycles with no riders. The other sign advises you of mine subsidence and you enter at your own risk. The view is worth it and gives an aerial view of the roadworks coming into Bowenfels. It’s not a bad spot to stretch the legs, have a cup of tea and listen to the wind.

From here, head through Lithgow and up Bells Line of Road. Not far from Bell is the Mt Wilson turnoff. Double white lines guide you through fern and eucalypt forests to an English village in the middle of the bush. Houses built in the early 20th century with massive gardens dot the village, huge oak tress line the main street – The Avenue. There’s even Turkish baths at one of the old properties. Just out of the village lies a picnic and camping ground with walks through the Cathedral of Ferns which makes a convenient rest stop. Further along at Mt Irvine, Bowens Creek Road starts. The road is blocked with a yellow barricade. Hmm.

The road has deteriorated considerably since I drove the Renault through here. Fresh tyre tracks from both 4x4’s and motorcycles mark the ground indicating it still gets a bit of use. Over time, erosion has changed the road to a track, becoming narrower and looser; ruts have appeared in sections that keep you on your toes. Although the road looks stable, the bike slides on loose gravel going around corners, there isn’t anything stopping you going over the edge. It’s a long way down. Through the trees, you can make out part of the road hugging the cliffs leading up the opposite hill. There are some brilliant views along this road and you have to hand it to the men that built this road in the depression.

As much as I enjoy riding on my own, allowing the freedom to stop

and photograph whatever catches my eye, there is still a safety aspect that needs to be considered when venturing on some roads. Not being prepared for an overnight stay nor informing anyone of where exactly I was heading for the day - all it takes is a sprain or slip over the edge that can ruin your day. Due to the time of day and the sky getting dark and grey, and the fatigue of the day’s ride, I pull over and walk down the track for a little to see just how the poor it gets. After

slipping twice on the track, I decide it is better to turn back. Heading up a steep incline, I stall my bike just after getting out of some ruts and fight to stay upright while sliding backwards. I walk the bike up around the hairpin bend and take a rest.

Some may say that I wimped out, but these tracks are better tackled in a group, no doubt why organised rides employ a sweeper. As I ride along the Darling Causeway, returning to Mt Victoria, bands of rain can be seen

to the west. Looks like a good idea to pull out when I did. It is a striking stretch of road to follow and well worth the ride. There are also about 17 fire trails that dart off the main road that beckon exploration. Well worth a return trip to camp out and spend a bit more time exploring this part of the mountains. It’s still on the bucket list to get to the bridge and follow the road through to Bilpin, just need to do it with a group.

So, a big thank you to Bill and Ted for reminding me of Mt Wilson and Bowens Creek Road while having a few drinks by the camp fire. One of the great things about venturing out into camping grounds or pubs is the people you meet, stories you gather and information you exchange. Riders can be a friendly lot and are quite happy to help each other out. The world currently seems to be in a mess, fortunately there are far more good people than bad with 90% of the good, being motorcycle riders. D

2-7 APRIL 2017

SWM Gran Milano 440

Get the look –straiGht off the showroom floor.

Words s tuart Photos

How’s your memory? SWM? Ring a bell? They are known for building great enduro bikes since the early seventies; founded in 1971 by Piero Sironi and Fausto Vergani and based in Milan, Italy. SWM made Observed Trials, Enduro, Motocross and other off-road motorcycles in the 1970s and 1980s. They started with small capacity Sachs engined enduro bikes and began making Rotax engined trials bikes in 1977. Competitors at the time included Fantic Motor, Bultaco and Montesa. Now SWM is back on the market, offering a range of off and on road models with the Gran Milano 440 being part of their ‘Classic’ range. When I first saw pictures of the Gran Milano I didn’t really make the connection with SWM the enduro bike manufacturer. I thought this was just a small backyard kind of manufacturer trying to sell a couple of bikes, but when the Gran Milano turned up at the AMM cave I changed my mind. This thing actually looks the goods and it’s decently fitted out, unlike many of similar types of bikes hitting the market now. Featured is Brembo braking front and rear with Brembo master cylinders which give this little bike amazing braking power – more than you’ll find

Nick wood photo G raphy

on any similar sized bike from just about any manufacturer. SWM says that this same braking package is what comes on the Norton Commando 961, which has a hefty price tag of thirty odd thousand. It’s powered by an air-cooled 445cc single, assembled by the Italians at SWM but using some Shineray parts from China. In four-valve SOHC form, the motor clearly owes something to the Honda XBR500 which has a very similar looking engine, but the SWM does have fuel injection to cope with Euro4. A throbbing idle gives the feel and sound of an ‘80s or early ‘90s single cylinder dirt bike. Twist the throttle and the SWM pulls away convincingly with a decent amount of torque at low to mid rpm. It’s all good fun, but it’s not a refined ride. Vibes make themselves felt over 5000rpm.

Handling is a weird mix when compared to many other bikes. Turn seems slow as you just touch the bar to tip in, then it turns superfast as if it’s falling (but isn’t). There was also a lot of front chatter from the forks, which I fixed by winding in full rebound (making it faster). The tyres are from Golden Tyre; they have an almost wet racing tyre block type pattern and give adequate grip in dry conditions. The tyres are wrapped onto very stylish spoked GLM bronze coloured rims.

The Gran Milano looks the part too – quite classy in a mix of bronze and

SPECS

SWM GRAN MILANO 440

PRICE: $7990 (plus on-road charges)

black, dominated by those twin stainless steel pipes. I especially liked the styling of the tail section which gives it a very custom look.

Hop on, and the riding position feels committed, with a stretch to the wide, low bars due to the wide rear section of the tank. The footrests are high, but it’s not uncomfortable on the open road and the solo seat is welcoming with good comfort.

The SWM Gran Milano 440 is a little pricey to my mind but if you want a custom café racer off the showroom floor, look no further, you only need to decide on the Bronze or the Green Lagoon. D

WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance

SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 5000km or 12 months

ENGINE: Air/oil-cooled single cylinder, 4-stroke, SOHC, 4 valves

BORE x STROKE: 90 x 70mm

DISPLACEMENT: 445.3cc

COMPRESSION: 10.0:1

POWER: N/A

TORQUE: 35.8Nm @ 5300rpm

TRANSMISSION: 5-speed, wet multi-plate clutch, chain final drive

SUSPENSION: Front, 47mm inverted fork, adjustable preload and rebound. Rear, twin-shock, adjustable preload and rebound.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 809mm, weight 145kg (dry), fuel capacity 22.2 litres, wheelbase 1410mm

TYRES: Front, 120/70/17. Rear, 150/60/17

FRAME: Tubular steel

BRAKES: Front, 320mm disc with four-piston radial caliper. Rear, 220mm disc, single-piston caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 6.21 litres per 100km, premium unleaded

THEORETICAL RANGE: 357km

COLOURS: Bronze, Green Lagoon

VERDICT: Get the custom café racer look

Seat and tail have that custom look

Shades of the Honda XBR500

“The memories will last a lifetime...”

PETER & KATH WRIGHT, WARRINGTON, UK

RIDIN THE BONANG

MORE CORNERS THAN YOU’LL DARE TO COUNT

what seems like the endless number of sweet flowing corners that makes this a must-do ride. Some say it’s the “road of one thousand corners” and others say it’s in the mid three hundreds. Who really cares, it’s an awesome bit of road to ride.

ORBOST

The Bonang Highway is one of those roads from Melbourne to Sydney, or vice versa (yes, you can go the other way!), which is rarely used. Many people avoid it due to the small few kilometres of dirt road, which is actually very well maintained, but it is

Orbost is a major centre in East Gippsland, about 375 kilometres east of Melbourne and 235 kilometres south of Canberra (to put you in the general picture of things). It is also about 16 kilometres from the small town of Marlo on the coast of Bass Strait.

The area around Orbost was first settled in 1842 and originally used for cattle grazing. A township began to

develop in the 1870s and it eventually became an important service centre for what has developed into a major cattle and agricultural district. The surrounding mountain forests produce hardwood timber, most of which is milled locally.

Orbost is situated on the Snowy River, surrounded by its rich river flats. Its commercial centre is along Nicholson Street and includes two supermarkets, a selection of shops and a few hotels. If you’ve got time to explore Orbost, at the northern end is a memorial clock tower which looks quite nice. Forest Park is an attractive reserve in Orbost, wedged between Nicholson Street and the Snowy River. It features a slab hut which was built in 1872 and relocated to its present site. The hut is open to the public

www.hemamaps.com.au

F or this ride you can either start at Orbost on the Victorian side, or Bombala on the New South Wales side. I started at Orbost coming from Melbourne back to Sydney.

It’s virtually impossible to get lost on this ride as you stay on Bonang road the entire way until you reach Bombala, but to give you as much details as possible – from Nicholson street in the main part of Orbost

TEAR-OUT MAP #47

turn right onto Bonang road and head north out past the golf course to Sardine Creek, and enjoy the corners all the way to the NSW border where the name of the road changes to Delegate road and starts to veer east and into Bombala. There are only two noticeable turnoffs, both on the western side of the road and both leading to the Snowy River. Effectively there’s no way of getting misled along this route. Enjoy!

COLLECT THEM ALL

Distance – Orbost to Bombala - 160km

Fuel – Orbost and Bombala –nothing in between.

Road conditions - Victoriawww.vicroads.vic.gov.au/traffic-androad-use/incidentalertspage

Road conditions – NSWwww.livetraffic.com/desktop.html

and furnished as a period settler’s home. Other attractions in Forest Park include the Orbost Exhibition Centre and gallery, as well as a number of rainforest walks which begin in the park.

Good views of Orbost, the Snowy River and the bridges across its flood plain can be enjoyed from Grandview Lookout, located south-west of Orbost in the small community of Newmerella.

The towering peak of Mount Raymond, 16 kilometres east of Orbost on the Princes Highway, provides spectacular views of the region, including as far south as the wetlands adjoining Brodribb River. On a clear day the view extends all the way down to Bass Strait and the Ninety Mile Beach.

The Cabbage Tree Creek Flora Reserve, located south of the highway and to the east of Orbost, includes the Cabbage Tree Palms - Victoria’s only native palms exclusively located in this area. There are picnic facilities and walking tracks through the surrounding forests which are home to a large variety of birdlife.

BONANG

It’s a shop, Jim, just as we know it. On the western side of the road, it is not especially noticeable except for the big mural on its northern wall.

DELEGATE RIVER

It’s a pub, Jim, but not as we know it. It is in fact a fishing resort but it has a few facilities including cold beer, as you would expect in a fisherman’s hangout. Down off the road on the eastern side near the border.

DELEGATE

Small but perfectly formed, Delegate has a well-used pub that’s always been motorcycle friendly. We can’t guarantee that there’s anything else there – this was one of the original towns that protested about losing its bank agency – but last time we checked there was a servo, or what looked suspiciously like one. No guarantees.

BOMBALA

Bombala is a picturesque town that is known for its fine wool, beef cattle,

timber and lavender production. Fly fishing for trout is very popular, as is bushwalking and spotting resident platypus in local streams (if you’ve got the time to look around). It definitely does have fuel.

The South East Forest National Park is a 20km ride from Bombala with access from Bucky Springs Road. Some great picnic areas are at Six Mile Creek, White Rock River, Big Jack and Myanba Creek. Camping is also allowed at various locations and, from lookouts and viewing platforms in the park, you’ll see beautiful old-growth forests, swamps, fern-filled gullies and waterfalls.

There are several great walks that traverse the area. Both the Swamp Walk around Nunnock Swamp and the Heritage Walk are nice.

The beautifully restored Early Settlers Hut, which dates back to the 1840s, offers a fascinating glimpse back into the early colonial life of the area. The Bombala Historic Railway, which houses a small museum, or the Bombala Historic Engines Shed which has a good selection of restored vintage era engines and equipment is also worth checking out. D

WhenI pull up at the Royal Hotel at Hill End, a trio of Multistrada riders are telling stories at one end of the front area and a blackboard is telling lies at the other.

The riders ask where I’ve come from and where was the last fuel; one of them only has 20km worth left in his tank. I can’t help him – I’d detoured to Kandos to fill up before I came out here and haven’t passed a bowser since.

I shed my jacket on a table out front and head in where Wendi’s pulling beers for some locals. A shard of afternoon light catches a couple of glasses on a keg table, as I get my key and a takeaway stubbie.

I leave the jacket there and ride light out to the Mudgee Rd and turn left for the quick squirt up to another pub, the pub I’d really come to visit.

Henry Lawson came to Hill End in either 1891 or 92 and I’m tracing his tramp six miles north across what he called, “the Come-and-find-it Flats” to Tambaroora where he found a pub to his liking and a publican who more than compensated for the discomforts of the trip.

“’Twas nearly night and raining fast, and all our things were damp, We’d no tobacco and our legs were aching from the cramp; We couldn’t raise a cent, and so our lamp of hope was dim; And thus we struck the shanty kept by ‘Tambaroora Jim’”.

In 1873 The Hargraves Hotel on the west of the main street had been purchased by James (“Jim”) Dagger and just holding on to such a place for almost two decades is proof that he must’ve been doing something right. In the poem, “Tambaroora Jim”, Lawson goes on to tell how Jim spots them, broke and soaking out in the rain and invites them in:

“We sat beside the kitchen fire and nursed our tired knees, And blessed him when we heard the rain go rushing through the trees.

He made us stay, although he knew we couldn’t raise a bob, And tuckered us until we made some money on a job.

And many times since we’ve filled our glasses to the brim, And drunk in many pubs the health of ‘Tambaroora Jim””.

The weather’s a whole lot better when I rock up but the recent rains have turned it all very green. Down behind the creek is flowing and a few fossickers, armed with flynets, metal detectors and picks, are trying their luck.

All that remains of the pub is the fireplace, its chimney and the old water well at the far end. I sit down, rest against it and pull out the long neck of Hahn Lite that I picked up from Wendi.

And I pull out my copy of Henry’s complete works and read aloud “Tambaroora Jim”, punctuating each of the nine stanzas with a swig. When I finish the final line, “I want to have a glass or two with ‘Tambaroora Jim”, I raise the stubbie, toast the two of ‘em and chug the remnants, trying to imagine the nights, and the hearts, that this fireplace must’ve warmed.

The Ducati trio pause beside the road to check they’re on the right road to Hargraves and then they’re off, more

Walk the walk

For a pub in a town off the highway and with a population of around 500 to have half its rooms booked out and its bar well populated on a Tuesday night in October, it must be doing something(s) right.

The Royal at Hill End sure is.

The rooms are clean and quiet, well equipped with electricity outlets and power boards to plug in all your rechargers. The hooks will hold your heavy gear and there’re fans and electric blankets to keep you as you want. The toilets and showers work just fine and the upper ‘randas face both east and west so you can tan up as you drink your end of day brew.

I didn’t get to meet Stephen but Wendi is a great host and the bloke out back cooking does it all with a smile. Which brings us to the cost. I’ve paid up to $60 just for the bed in a place like this so paying ten bucks less would’ve been reasonable. But when a three course dinner and breakfast is thrown in, served in a damn fine dining room, well, the value is off the scale.

The day I was there another town not too far distant was unilaterally declaring itself to be ‘Motorcycle Friendly’. This town has made up a logo, created its own facebook page and, well is hitting the hustings. It’s got a population ten times the size of Hill End but doesn’t have any accommodation that looks after riders anything like the Royal at Hill End. Wendi and Stephen decided it’s better to just walk the walk than talk the talk and they walk damn fine.

It creeps into the four helmet category and of course the value for money is in the stratosphere. A schooner of XXXX will set you back $5.50 which is smack in the middle of the range.

And whether you are here to ride the Bridle Track or the twisting bitumen, this is a pub that will welcome you, almost embrace you. Just one warning: Book ahead!

Dinner and breakfast included!

concerned with their fuel gauges than history they’re riding through.

On the way back to town I stop off at the cemetery and search every tombstone. Once again there’s way too many tiny graves of tiny babes and I find no resting place for Jim.

Eventually his largesse to the travellers saw the bailiffs arrive and “He humped his bluey from the Flats – did ‘Tambaroora Jim’”.

Back at The Royal, a couple more pairs of riders have arrived, all of them staying the night. They all take advantage of the undercover parking out the back but I leave my Tiger out front so I can cruise the town at sunset.

Wendi comes by collecting the glasses and it’s a bit quiet so she’s time for a chat.

She and partner Stephen have had this place since 2012. They’d been in Alstonville up near Ballina, doing nicely, he a professional Bridge player and she a tennis coach when they decided, bugger it, let’s go run a pub.

Wendi’d never pulled a beer but pretty soon they were in possession of the lease from National Parks to run the Royal Hotel here in Hill End. Stephen’s still a professional bridge player and is away playing cards with his patron when I drop by and Wendi fills in all my blanks.

She tells me of the loyal locals and the never-ending stream of riders who come through, of her theory why every single fence in the town is falling down and warns about the massive number of roos that come by in the evenings.

She details the rooms with their electric blankets and ceiling fans and she tells me about the barrow in the beer garden full of firewood that once alight, will warm the entire yard.

And that reminds her, if I’m interested in birds, the king parrots should be out back in the feeder about now. I arm up with a camera, head out the back and she’s spot on. They’re pretty tame too! I edge closer on my bum until he starts to look right at me with the right combination of awareness and fear.

Then I jump on the bike and head down to the common where I really get an idea of how well the roos are doing

There’s always someone on a bike at the Royal

The beer is cold. Mmm…

Plenty of those hoppy things out here

this year. Don’t go riding around here too close to the ends of the day.

Back at the bar we get onto the lying blackboard out front. It advertises Dinner, Bed and Breakfast for fifty bucks.

I ask Wendi what the catch is.

“No catch, exactly as it says.”

And the choice off the menu?

“You can have anything off the menu, all three courses if you want, and breakfast is toast and cereal and tea or coffee.”

For fifty bucks including a bed. Oh and if there’s a room with a double bed free when you turn up, you’ll get an upgrade from a single room. All part of the deal.

I feel like I should go back outside and apologise to the blackboard for doubting it.

It’s Tuesday night and there’s three separate groups of riders, if you count me as a group. On weekends all 22 beds in the place are booked out weeks, months in advance.

A lot of pubs in much larger towns wouldn’t have a dozen people staying on a mid-week night like this.

“We just love having riders in. Sometimes large groups get a bit hard to handle but the smaller groups seem to love this place, love the roads around here and they all play fair. They all put the money they save on food across the

bar for drinks and everyone’s happy.”

The entire town is owned by National Parks who won’t allow swagging out the back but there’s a couple of campsites nearby.

There’s six draft beers on tap and a schooner of XXXX is $5.50 and after the locals head home for the dinners around six, the rest of us keep Wendi busy filling glasses.

Once we’re all done, Wendi begins to close up, the other riders head up the stairs to their rooms, all of which open out onto the ‘randa and I head out to get some nightscapes. . A storm bird sirens incessantly through the quiet and the mandatory dog barks in the far off. The rest is silence. A single street light illuminates the pub. I check the back of the camera. The images, the colour, the light, eerily resemble the tones of Russell Drysdale’s paintings of Hill End from the 1940’s.

In the morning I head down into the dining room where the other riders have their maps spread out, covering their table beside the window, planning their day’s adventure. Sorting out a route and maybe some rest points. The toaster spits out the toughened bread and the jug seems constantly on the boil.

A couple of BMW riders pull up

wanting to know if there’s any food in the town and we tell them to come in and chuck some cash in the Rural Fire Service collection hat on the bar. It’s where all change and all tips get put. They throw in a couple of ‘bluies’. They ask what I’m doing and I tell them of Lawson’s poem. I read it out aloud to them as they chomp into the cereal and toast. One rider asks me to repeat a verse and when I finish he nods.

“Seems like there’s a tradition here of soft hearted publicans.”

His mate nods.

He’d say, ‘I’ve gone for days myself without a bite or sup—

‘Oh! I’ve been through the mill and know what ’tis to be hard-up.’

He might have made his fortune, but he wasn’t in the swim,

For no one had a softer heart than ‘Tambaroora Jim.’

Disclaimer: I usually write here whether I got any discount but really, if this place was any cheaper, they’d have paid me to stay there! Was offered nothing, sought nothing, got nothing and left happy! Like the rest of the riders! D

Tambaroora Pub

BMW R NINET SCRAMBLER

DÉJÀ VU - A SENSE OF I’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE

WORDS RALPH PHOTOS NICK WOOD PHOTOGRAPHY

After five decades of riding (heaps) and owning (nine of them,600 to 1200cc) the full range of ‘boxer’ BMWs you would think that another flat twin would be like any other, extra valves and cooling or not. I used to think that I could jump on any of the breed and immediately like the sensation of smooth torque and the flat drone of one of the most relaxed engines you could ever hope to play with.

Wrong.

The first day on this Hipster-styled 1170cc eight valver meant a conflict of emotions and lots of headscratching. The wide-’barred, low slung, hard riding show-piece wasn’t gelling with me and I was out of sorts with what I thought of as its soulless intensity. The riding position didn’t work for my ‘normal’ build, the ride bordered on Ducati-like and looks were – um, well.

I’m sure you’ve noticed the resurgence of the soft roader gravel-riding style with its high-swept mufflers, short seats and wide ‘bars. Bikes from Ducati, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and others have us peering nostalgically back into the Belstaff-wearing past and remembering Steve McQueen and all that ‘sixties style. Retro-fashion dictates that manufacturers cash in on heritage and aim their wares at a much younger audience which happily absorbs the nostalgia, faux though it may be. Can’t blame them, really. And we need some new riders and quickly, too.

In its attempt at the retro crown, BMW Motorrad has very cleverly held on to the eight-valve air/oil cooled engine that powered the R1200GS prior to the watercooled version. The perky 81kW unit with its separate sweet shifting six speeder unit only lies behind the new engine in a few percentage points in power and torque but aesthetically is the logical choice. There is plenty of shake left in the tail with enough smooth torque to never worry about being out-dragged if you have any kind of decent reflexes. This engine is a perfect fit for the Heritage range of BMW’s naked and sporties. We are all looking forward to the way the range is about to be augmented with the Pure, Urban G/S and the Roland Sands Design-created R nineT Racer.

Back to the last days of 2016 and our Nine T Scrambler. I am beginning to acquire a taste for this bike. It is fitted up with the chunky Metzeler Karoo knobbies (road tyres are an option) and equipped with a relatively rudimentary (especially for BMW Motorrad) electronics package taking care of traction and braking control. Switch it off, even on the fly, and this is one Boxer BMW that doesn’t need any help in overcoming its size or its 220kg wet weight. It doesn’t feel enormous, as you would expect a twelve hundred cc road-bike to feel. Yet the seat, ergonomics and touring ability are a little out of step with my freedom seeking nature. What did it take to actually transform my apathy to empathy?

Drink strong coffee and take time to admire that look. Then it’s time to straddle it, thumb the starter button and thrash the living life-force out the flat 180-degree twin. The upswept twin mufflers blat out a deep bass note which sharpens up as the revs pick up beyond the strong mid-range. Without a rev-meter I would get all the flaps and butterflies opened up wide, with cams and valves working in unison to produce what BMW does very well in this or the water-cooled format. Funfilled, big smile producing, endorphin dripping satisfaction. A ton of character, by a ratio of ten to one, now comes avalanching in. Gone is a muted commuter and replaced (thankfully) with a back-roads, curve carving machine alive with a bellow out of the stock Akrapovics and punch it through the rev-range. Snicking gears as hard and as fast as you dare. There is a stack of acceleration after the midrange and plenty of revs that makes hanging on to the gears a lot of fun and there are always the effective Brembo Monoblocs to rely on for washing off the speed.

Pity about the choice of tyre on our test bike. The Karoos are not for the road. Pity, because the Scrambler has so much to offer if you don’t want to take motorcycle riding too seriously. With improved grip and steering I could imagine the R nineT and I would have had an even better

Basic, but that’s all you need on a bike like this.

Tan seat is all the rage.

Akra’s give out a nice bark.

• Helite airbag technology – the future of motorcycle safety is here today!

• European designed/CE approved Helite vests and jackets all with airbag built in

• For the price of a helmet, Helite protects your neck, vertebrae, chest, hips, abdomen, internal organs and tailbone – a helmet for your body

AIRBAG VEST Also in black

HELITE TOURING AIRBAG JACKET - Also in black

HELITE LEATHER AIRBAG JACKET - Also in black

relationship. The nineteen-inch front, as inherently stable as it is, doesn’t like to be pushed too hard with the Karoos, but to be fair they aren’t designed to be punished on the road. So I ride more in the aim and squirt style than a flowing and smooth mode of yesteryear. A change of tyres would lift the game enough to give a lot of big bore nakeds a run for their Euros although the limited rear travel steals some of the fun.

As will presumably be the case with most R nineTs, our time on the dirt was short and only for image purposes. Too big and too heavy, not to mention too expensive for casual dirt play, the R nine can certainly tour but probably not across the black soil plains with dust billowing. A GS would eat it for breakfast with the limited fuel

SPECS

BMW

R NINET SCRAMBLER

PRICE: $19,150 (plus on-road charges)

WARRANTY: 2 years, unlimited distance

SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 10,000km or 12 months

ENGINE: Air cooled 4 valve

BORE x STROKE: 101mm x 73mm

DISPLACEMENT: 1170cc

COMPRESSION: 12.0:1

POWER: 81kW @ 7750rpm

TORQUE: 116Nm @ 6000rpm

TRANSMISSION: Dry two-plate clutch, 6-speed gearbox, shaft-drive final drive

They’ll know you’re comin’.

range from the (good-looking) 17L fuel tank but let’s admit the all-roads tourer will never match the looks of this low-slung Fussen fence jumping Heritage scrambler let alone match its attitude.

We swooped in and out of love (freeways will do that to anyone) but I was pining for an S version. The scope for turning a $19,150 quality built plain and simple gutter jumper is limited only by your wallet and inspiration. I would take that leap (if I could) now that I have worked out how to make fun with the R nineT. Pin it!

* Fussen was where Steve McQueen jumped the fence in the Great Escape D

SUSPENSION: Front, 43mm fork, 125mm travel. Rear, monoshock 140mm travel

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 820mm, weight 220kg (wet), fuel capacity 17L, wheelbase 1527mm

TYRES: Front, 120/70 19. Rear 170/60 17

FRAME: Steel tube

BRAKES: Front, 2 x 320mm discs, 4-piston ABS calipers.

Rear, 265mm single disc

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 5.1L/100km

THEORETICAL RANGE: 333km

COLOURS: Silver

VERDICT: Retro roamer

TRAVEL

Business Meets Leisure

This is one of our series of “bleisure” or business/leisure stories; they tell you how to fill the days off that some of you can get when you travel for work in Australia or overseas. Naturally, they involve motorcycling…

I

n my experience, it pays to stop over for a day and night on your way to or from Europe. Now I know I’m seriously biased here, but why not go for a ride during that day? The main places where airlines stop over on the Kangaroo Route are Dubai, Hong Kong, Bangkok and Singapore.

Dubai has several motorcycle rental places, including Eaglerider (www.eaglerider.com) and we will be looking at the United Arab Emirates in a future story in this series. In Hong Kong, Motion Motor Group (www. motionmotorcycle.com) may rent out Harleys, although there aren’t many places to go Forget Bangkok. All you’ll do is breathe exhaust

There’s quite a pleasant range of pubs and restaurants along the Singapore River.

A DAY OVERSEAS IN… SINGAPORE

OVERPROTECTED POLICE STATE OR TROPICAL PARADISE? LET’S FIND OUT, SUGGESTS THE BEAR.

fumes and dodge death. If you must, try Rentalmotorbike.com (www.rentalmotorbike.com/ motorbike-rental-bangkok), details below. As for Singapore…

A couple of years ago I borrowed a scooter from the kind people at Piaggio Asia Pacifi c and spent a day riding around in Singapore. I managed to cover the entire island in half that time – there is very little to stop for – but I did fi nd the scooter handy for exploring the various parts of the city itself. I suspect I could have done the same on foot, though. One exception was a street food arcade that had been recommended to me which was quite a long way out of the city.

A couple of things to keep in mind in Singapore are the tollways – you need a toll pass gadget on the handlebar if you want to use these – and the parking restrictions. Motorcycle or scooter parking is very cheap at 50c a day, but there isn’t much of it. Park illegally and you will get a ticket almost as fast as you would in Hong Kong.

Keep in mind that while Singapore riders and drivers tend to be quite courteous (except for insisting on their right of way and such) they don’t tend to be particularly skilful. Don’t present them with the need to make a quick, decisive move. There is a good chance that they will freeze, or react inappropriately in some other way. No offence, folks, but it’s true.

Behave yourself, too. Giving someone the finger is illegal, for instance, and waving your fist at someone could be considered threatening behaviour; the maximum penalty is a $2,000 fine. Singaporeans are extremely lawabiding, and they expect the same from visitors, including people the locals describe as “Caucasians”.

The eastern end of the 700 square kilometre island (it’s actually probably bigger than that now, considering the amount of landfill that’s going on) beyond the airport is pleasant with lots of blocks of flats and greenery, while the western end is mostly docks and factories except for the university. The north is a mixture of the two, and there is some natural landscape around the water reservoir in the centre of the island. The city is in the south, and I like eating or drinking around Boat Quay on the Singapore River. A lot of the other landmarks that I used to know have been obliterated by the abovementioned landfills.

So is it worth renting a scooter or a bike in Singapore? Good question, and I don’t have an easy answer. But if you want to be able to say that you’ve actually seen Singapore, a rental scooter is definitely the way to do it.

My thanks to Piaggio Asia Pacific for the scooter.

Hey dude, w H ere’s my ride?

There is a surprising number of options for renting a bike or scooter in Singapore. Be careful; most of the small models will not be allowed out over the Causeway out of Singapore. Here’s a selection of different choices.

Rentalmotorbike.com , www.rentalmotorbike.com,

This is an international motorcycle reservation service. They claim to have more than 30,000 bikes in 500 different locations and “best prices, availability and security are guaranteed”. I’ve never tried them, but I can see that I should one day.

Eaglerider Motorcycles , www.eaglerider.com/ singapore-city, +65 6280 2552

Range of different bikes, although they tend to specialise in Harleys. Their offer includes “Complimentary shuttle pick up from neighbouring hotels (7 miles or less) for guests renting 3 days or longer. Locked storage closet for your suitcases. Free parking in our secured lot. Motorcycles apparel and accessories.” Major advantage is that you can ride the bike in Malaysia; they even have suggested tours.

Big Loud Rides , bigloudrides.com, info@bigloudrides.com, +65 91381770.

These guys seem to be locals, with a pretty good sense of humour. They appear to do mostly tours but also rent out a selection of Harleys including a model they must have built especially for them, the “Swiftback”. Bikes can be taken out of Singapore and you can leave your luggage at their office. You will need a licence that is valid for bikes over 400cc.

Unique Motorsports , uniquemotorsports.com.sg, rental@uniquemotorsports. com.sg, 6292 5578

Huge range of scooters and quite a few different (mainly small) bikes, several outlets (check the website). You’ll need an International Driving Permit as well as something that confirms your hotel or other address in Singapore. You aren’t allowed to leave Singapore “mainland”, which I take to mean island. D

When they say no bikes, they mean no bikes. But check out the

drawing – stylish scoot, eh?

If you’re careful you can get away with parking in the odd corner, but don’t rely on it.

Out beyond the airport there is quite a bit of parkland leading down to the seashore.

CLASSIC BUILDING THE BEST Z1 JAFFA

PART FOUR

Now that Nigel has the engine fitted into the freshly painted frame it was time to get this beauty up on its wheels. To do this the original Takasago chrome rims were re-chromed with forty new zinc plated spokes fitted to the freshly polished and painted alloy hubs (with new bearings of course).

The forks were stripped with the original fork legs polished to a high sheen. The fork tubes were checked and sent away for re-chroming, with new internals being fitted. The triple clamps were checked and painted as per factory. Of course, new or refurbished bolts were used. To finish off the front end a brand new 296mm disc was fitted to the wheel, with the caliper being refurbished.

The rear end consists of new shock absorbers, new sprocket, new 200mm brake shoes and to complete the package front and rear - OEM spec Dunlop tyres were fitted.

Now the Jaffa was up on its wheels and a few beers were consumed just looking at the gorgeousness of such a stunning machine. However, there’s so much more to do.

A brand new wiring harness was sourced and fitted. As were the rest of electrics, like regulator, fuses and so on. The instruments were refurbished, the Nippon Denso instruments on the Z1 comprising a speedometer on the left and a tachometer on the right. The speedometer was calibrated to 240km/h in increments of 20km/h. The tachometer was calibrated to 12,000rpm with the redline starting at 9000rpm. Between the two gauges was a console featuring the ignition key barrel and four instrument warning lamps, each with a descriptor above the lamp. They showed, from left to right, NEUT (green), FLASH (orange), BEAM (blue) and OIL (red). These need total refurbishing as well.

Almost ready for the wheels!

Back of the instruments.

The condition of the speedo was pretty poor.

TECHNICAL

WHAT IS THAT?

MEET THE QUASAR WORDS & PHOTOS THE BEAR

Back in the late ‘70s I was living in London and working in an advertising agency as well as writing for the German magazine MOTORRAD. At the Earls Court motorcycle show, I met a bloke called Malcolm Newell, who was displaying one of the early Quasars, more or less exactly the “bike” in the photos, on the Cibie stand. It was called a Feet Forward or FF bike, and he had designed it together with a bloke called Ken Leaman.

I was interested in the Qasar, but a bit dubious at the same time – partly

because it was powered by a Reliant Robin engine. There is no equivalent of the Robin these days in terms of purely proletarian transport, not even

The dash makes it obvious that this is not exactly a series production machine…

The Quasar displayed at a special club show in Milan.

Price - $239.95 120/70/17 front. $319.95 180/55/17 rear

Having our long term Yamaha MT-09 Tracer is handy not only for touring. We can use it as a test bed for any tyres that distributors want us to let you know about. In this case it is the new Continental Sport Attack 3 – a sport touring tyre that gives you good distance as well as top level performance. The OEM Dunlop tyres fitted to the Tracer didn’t last too long. They were ready for replacement with only 4000km on

CONTINENTAL SPORT ATTACK 3

MULTIPLY THE SATISFACTION

the clock and they weren’t the most reassuring tyre in the rain either, so I whipped the wheels out and headed off to our good friends at D Moto in Granville, NSW to fit up these new Contis.

A big thing with the new Sport Attack 3 is that there is no run in period. Continental calls the finish on the tyres “TractionSkin” and this was a big talking point when I spoke with Grant at Conti distributor, Ron Angel Wholesale. He mentioned the no run in period to me a number of times so I picked out just the spot to test this. It was either going to end in tears or have me coming out the other side with a huge grin – so read on.

But first, let’s see what other features the Sport Attack 3 has to offer. MultiGrip is the first feature that gives you a seamless transition from

the harder centre compound made for touring, to the softer optimised cornering compound on the side of the tyre for excellent grip.

Next up is the all-important RainGrip. Continental has mixed into the compound a delicate balance of racing carbon-black for higher levels of outright grip and faster warmup, versus Silica which provides the outstanding wet weather grip. Luckily (if you call it that) I have ridden in everything from flooding roads to slippery just wet conditions and the Sport Attack 3 performed flawlessly. So much so that you near forget you’re riding on roads that would have other tyres near making your heart skip a beat. The Sport Attack 3 also has a revised tread pattern from the outgoing Sport Attack 2 for even better water drainage in the wet and for better wear in the middle of the tyre.

And this leads onto the next big feature with this tyre – Grip Limit Feedback Technology. This essentially

see the

means that you have plenty of feeling with both front and rear before things start to get out of shape and let me tell you, you have to push quite hard before that starts to happen. Having those kinds of reserves in a tyre makes normal riding delightful.

Most of this feedback comes from the Endless Zero Degree belt construction which gives you stability and high levels of grip at whatever lean angle you’ve reached.

So, now we come back to the TractionSkin. Did it work or did I end up in hospital with Yamaha very unhappy with me? I’m happy to report that all was good. I belted into an off camber right hand sweeper that I know can get both front and rear sliding when I’m pushing a cold tyre hard and the Sport Attack 3’s gripped and didn’t feel like sliding at all. This technology which consists of a new micro-rough tread surface eliminating the need for tyre-release agents is what all tyres should have! I’m sure a number of you have had the embarrassing feeling of getting new tyres fitted and sliding down the road at the first turn from the workshop. Well, that is a thing of the past with the new Conti Sport Attack 3.

Although the name might have you thinking of a sport tyre, the harder compound in the centre of the tyre significantly increases tyre life and puts this tyre into a proper sport touring category.

In the month since I fitted the Sport Attack 3s the Tracer has commuted, had a 1500km tour and been given a proper weekend blast with some mates. They still look pretty new so I’m guessing 12,000km tyre life which is outstanding for the high levels of grip you get from a tyre like this. Great job, Continental. The Sport Attack 3 is priced well and is available in a wide range of sizes. See your local Continental dealer or www.ronangel.com.au SW D

“I

get a good feeling, yeah”!

You can

“rough” TractionSkin tread. This is after three kilometres from fitment.

behindthecounter West Coast MotorCyCle Hire

GRaB a BiKe anD see the WesteRn sunset

West Coast Motorcycle Hire (WCMH) is in Darch, Western Australia. David and Sarah started the business in 2014. They saw that although there were other companies in Australia offering the hire of motorcycles, no one was doing it in WA at a professional level. So after a discussion with his wife Sarah, David used a Triumph Street Triple 675 and a Triumph Speed Triple 1050 they already had to start the business.

“It took us quite a while and lots of frustration, especially with the legal and the insurance sides,” David says, “but not being ones to give up we pushed through it all and made it work. We have enjoyed establishing it and watching it grow to be hands down the biggest and most respected bike hire company in Perth. The feedback we get repeatedly and returning business is something we are proud of

and makes us want to expand more and more each year.”

The business is purely a hire company. Customers check out the website or call, choose the bike they want and how long they want it for and then come and collect it (or it can be delivered). They ride wherever they want (bitumen only as the fleet consists of road bikes), however long they want, and for as many kilometres as they like.

A point of difference that David and Sarah offer is that they go over and above the expected service for the customer. Aside from delivery and pick up of the bikes, if required, they can help you with planning where to go and what to see in the big State of WA. They can provide a GPS hardwired to any of the bikes and if you need luggage, they’re happy to assist. This also includes leaving any suitcases/luggage, bike or car with

them during your ride. And, if you don’t want to travel with your own helmet and gloves, David and Sarah can assist also – the complete package, you might say.

David and Sarah have been into bikes as long as they could legally ride them. David says he is a real rev head and has been into anything that burns fuel for as long as he can remember. His first bike was a Yamaha Virago 250, then he stepped up to a Yamaha YZF600 Thundercat. After that he had Harleys, Triumphs, Ducatis and Hondas.

David says he was very fortunate to marry a lady who was equally passionate about bikes. “A lot of guys complain that their partners don’t like bikes but I am proud to say I got the pick of the bunch with Sarah!” Sarah started off on a Yamaha FZR250RR (import) which gave her a real taste for

speed and since then she also has been on Harleys, Triumphs and Hondas.

West Coast Motorcycle Hire has a large client base overseas, but they also have regulars who come from the east coast of Australia, .not to mention a growing client base of regulars in WA as well.

Among the comments David and Sarah seem to get constantly is, "I didn’t realise you could hire a motorcycle in WA, and especially not of this quality!" Once people come back from a ride they are without a doubt on cloud nine and both David and Sarah get a kick out of seeing them enjoy it. They don’t do things by halves either. All of the fleet has performance exhausts as a minimum and some have performance parts as well to give the customer an improved riding experience. They also act as suppliers of test bikes.

“You can't get a feel for a bike being followed around for fifteen minutes by a sales person from a dealer. You’d be surprised at the number of people who are thinking of buying a bike who are referred to us by the dealershipsor just come to us first.”

The current fleet of bikes available through WCMH includes a Ducati 1098 Streetfighter with Termi pipes and Ventura luggage, a Ducati Diavel Carbon with full Termi system, a Harley-Davidson Trike (the only one in Australia that’s for hire) with exhaust, reverse gear, huge luggage options, stereo and cruise control, and a BMW K 1200 GT with adjustable screen, seat and bar warmers, exhaust, cruise control and plenty of luggage options.

The coming year will see SCMH adding more bikes to the fleet, like the Yamaha MT-10, Harley VRod, KTM Super Duke or Adventure, Ducati

Monster 1200 or Multistrada, Suzuki GSXR 750 or 1000 and a Triumph Tiger 800 or 1200.

The great thing about WA is the weather. But just in case there is rain, WCMH is happy to change your dates of hire if the bike’s available. WCMH attends most of the WA motorcycle events so look for David or Sarah at the next one, or give them a call to book your bike hire around WA. D

West Coast Motorcycle Hire

Darch (Suburb North of the River) 0408 480 426(D) / 0450 604 655(S) info@westcoastmotorcyclehire.com.au www.westcoastmotorcyclehire.com.au

BEARARMY COOMA MANOEVRES: THE EVIDENCE

PHOTOS JOHN FOX

Just to prove that the Bear Army really exists and is not just a figment of The Bear’s imagination, here is a small selection of shots from the Cooma Manoeuvres by #21 John Fox. There are still places available in the Bear Army; just take a look at our website to sign up (or send us an email to thebear@ausmotorcyclist.com.au). The next Manoeuvres (they happen twice a year) will probably be in March 2017.

The scene of the debauch, Cooma’s Alpine Hotel which treated us exceptionally well. Motorcyclists get a 50% discount on rooms!

It wasn’t as cold as all that, but it made sense to stay near the fire.

Convivial pre-dinner drinks. The Bear looks as if he’s chosen the wrong drink…

The pork belly was just one of the excellent dishes that the

The Bear with #20 Peter Colwell, who is probably the long-distance champ of the Army.

It looks as if the boys are about to break into song. They didn’t, fortunately.

And motorcycles get a warm and cozy overnight room to themselves.

Nothing like a warming fire in the bar. Well, apart from a pleasant selection of ales.

Ah, a look at The Bear’s incipient bald spot! The dinner met with universal approval.

Alpine’s chef offered.

TRAVEL

TO TRAVEL HOPEFULLY…

WHERE AND WHEN? WORDS THE BEAR

“Good you buy food today,” said the wizened shopkeeper in Tevfikiye, near the classical city and present-day ruins of Troy, in Turkey.

“It’s always good to buy food,” I replied, “but these carrots are expensive.”

“Expensive? You think expensive? You buy today. Day soon [Tomorrow? Yes.], two times. More… tourists come.”

Ah. He was warning me that a cruise ship would be coming in tomorrow.

The prices of everything in Tevfikiye doubled when a boat was in. At least.

“But do tourists buy carrots?” I asked. “Who knows,” he replied. “Maybe. Now you buy.”

I did, quite aware that I was already paying more than the locals did, even if it was only a little. He also habitually tried to cheat me with lower-quality vegetables, but I was a wakeup to that. I didn’t mind paying a bit

Tourists tip a bit of money into the Cuban economy by catching a cab. Travellers would probably walk. Which is better?

Havana local returns the compliment of a quick snap.

extra. After all, we all have to make a living…

Muhammad at my local café confirmed the shopkeeper’s news. He was a wondrous fount of information, especially since my fully Vetter-kitted Yamaha XS1100 parked outside his place acted as a magnet for customers. He was willing to share any amount of information it if you spoke German, which I do. He had worked as a hospital orderly in Hildesheim and had saved enough money to come back and buy the café, and was duly appreciative. He was the one who told me that cafés in Turkey only served tea instead of coffee because all of the country’s foreign earnings went on buying oil. Tea is grown locally, but you can’t grow coffee in Turkey.

“Here,” he said and waved his hand expansively over the dozen tables, half-dozen umbrellas and numerous planks on boxes which constituted the seats of the café, “here we ask a little more. We are…” and he hesitated as if he wasn’t quite sure he could let me in on the secret, “…local colour. Also,

they can afford it. They are tourists.”

The conviction that foreigners can afford it is of course a common one wherever there is “local colour”. But I wasn’t paying more than the locals. I knew this from careful observation.

“So you charge the tourists, what, four times as much as me. Why?”

“Because they pay it,” he said. “If they would pay more I would charge more, but the boatmen warn them about paying too much for everything.”

I was fairly happy that I wasn’t a boatman, from the grim look on his face.

“I don’t charge you that much because you know what Kemal down there charges and you would go to him if I tried to charge you more. Even though (he put his hand on his heart and blew through his moustache) I am your friend and he isn’t.”

But is that it? Is the difference between tourists and travellers simply that tourists will pay the prices? Maybe it’s that simple.

On bike trips, just for something to talk about, I’ve occasionally asked people about the difference between tourists and travellers. Unfortunately, almost all of them wanted to be travellers and therefore tailored their responses to make themselves look that way. But a few common ideas have emerged. Tourists take taxis, travellers walk –or ride motorcycles, obviously enough. A traveller takes photos (or sketches for the really pure ones) while a tourist takes selfies.

Buddhist temples in Sri Lanka now have signs reminding visitors that turning their back on a Buddha statue to take a selfie is disrespectful.

Travellers carry their belongings on their backs (or their bicycles or motorcycles) while tourists have roller bags. Tourists look at things, travellers do things… and so on. And of course tourists pay inflated prices while travellers pay only a little more than the locals. Why pay more than the locals at all? Because

SOL INVICTUS NEMESIS 400

‘Not half bad’ has a bit of a negative overtone with a ‘not’ and a ‘bad’ so close together compared to ‘not half good’. The former sounds even better when the ‘not’ is replaced with an ‘ain’t’ spiced up with a Cockney accent. Ain’t ‘alf makes me think of the old ‘glass is half full’ versus the ‘glass is half empty’ image and for so long Chinese motorcycles have definitely been in the ‘glass half full’ camp.

‘Not ‘alf bad’ pretty well sums up this 397cc single, which looks very ‘eighties while the silhouette could pass off as Made in England in the ‘sixties.

Confused? I was too because on first glance the little black beastie looks just about right, although sustaining that feeling requires you to let go of a lot of prejudices around features, price and origin. You can take that as an indication that we tend to be spoilt in the technical stakes around here, but a fair comparison is a fair comparison.

The Nemesis (a name last used by Norton, of all brands) is indeed ‘all right’ in the fundaments, and this is largely thanks to the smooth and gutsy power from the single cylinder and the slick five speed box. A competent engine, though with similar power

to a 250 but more torque, is a good starting point for anyone. Especially me, since commuting is a chore and cruising along in license saving mode is a necessity. Simple and economical will suit ‘alf the target audience who I’m sure are going to be relying on all the traffic-beating skill the Nemesis can muster. A slim motorcycle with light steering removes a lot of stress while you are splitting through the thousands of queued cars. It gives you time to ponder what all sorts of improvements on a $6999 (on road, ride away) motorcycle can have thrown at it.

The stock Sol Invictus is ripe for some individualisation from the Hipster crowd on its self-improving path of garagisation, chasing the maximum amount of retro-cool their meagre pocket money can provide. Leave the neat stainless steel peashooter muffl ers alone. I would spend the coin on suspension and brakes before I attacked anything with a hacksaw or mallet in the process of ‘making it my own’. Although the Nemesis could be drastically improved on the outside with a bit of easily-available bling. Providing you don’t stray too

far from the city (I do out of necessity), comfort and handling are never stretched beyond what the defi ning price-point can be expected to offer. The brakes are, given that a LAMS model it is unlikely to do a lap of a race-track, borderline average.

Still, despite feeling like I needed my glass topped up a bit more there was always an element of childlike fun in the four-hundred’s tenure. Sol Invictus have tapped in on some infectious spirit with their small range, appealing to the fringe crowd. I’m all for diversity. D

SPECS

SOL INVICTUS NEMESIS 400

PRICE: $6999 currently ride away

WARRANTY: 2 years, unlimited distance

SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 3000km or 12 months

ENGINE: Air/oil cooled single cylinder, 4 valve

BORE x STROKE: 85mm x 70mm

DISPLACEMENT: 397.2cc

COMPRESSION: 8.8:1

POWER: 19.5W @ 7500rpm

TORQUE: 30Nm @ 5500rpm

TRANSMISSION: 5-speed, wet multi-plate clutch, chain drive

SUSPENSION: Front, 35mm telescopic fork, non-adjustable, travel 110mm, Rear, twin-shock, adjustable 70mm travel.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 790mm, weight 151kg (dry), fuel capacity 13L, wheelbase 1420mm

TYRES: Front, 100/90/19. Rear 130/70/18

FRAME: Steel tube

BRAKES: Front, 275mm disc, 2-piston caliper. Rear Brake Dia151mm

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 4.1L/100km

THEORETICAL RANGE: 317km

COLOURS: Black, White, Grey

VERDICT: All right now, just

EVENT MOTO EXPO MELBOURNE

SHOW TIME! WORDS/PHOTOS – STUART

Despite Intermot (Cologne) and Eicma (Milan) being very close in time to Australia’s motorcycle show, Moto Expo, many manufacturers with displays at the Melbourne Showgrounds did a great job getting their hands on some of the 2017 models for everyone admire.

We had our stand near the café in Hall 1 and it was great to meet so many of our wonderful readers and subscribers. It was also great to nearly sell out of the latest issue (#46) and to sign up some more of you to go into the draw to win the latest Air Ride 4 summer jacket from Dririder. The lucky winner was Anthony Faul from Tallygaroopna – well done, mate. Beside the exciting new bikes and trade stalls inside the main hall the outside entertainment was high on adrenalin. Lukey Luke, Dave McKenna and the Hot Wheels crew had the jaws dropping while Troy Bayliss and many

other well-known racers tore up the sand on the smallish dirt track set up to keep the crowds gasping. And the riders were serious with some very close calls along the concrete walls around the track!

Despite the crowds at the Melbourne Showgrounds being down from previous shows, everyone is excited to hear that Moto Expo will return to the re-created exhibition centre at Darling Harbour in Sydney next year. Come along and say g’day, we’ll be there ready to talk! D

Royal Enfield’s new Himalayan got tongues wagging with a $5990 price tag announced.

A bike that’s sure to be a hot seller is the Yamaha MT-07 Tracer.

Batman has landed! Moto Guzzi showed off the MGX-21.

Great to see the smaller Ducati Multistrada 950 arrive for the show.

Ralph mans the stand, while Lester Morris talks about his new book.

P

Technical Skill - Personal Service

Cylinder

Welding

Fuel

Race

Tyre

Ducati

Although

READER’STRAVEL

Bon Journo! (Good day!)

‘Milano e return’

Milan, Italy, picking up our BMW F 700 GS bikes from HP Motorrad to start our 21-day tour. It’s a mild 33C in early September. Our tour will take us north to Lake Como, along the eastern side then onto Innsbruck, Austria; Munich, Germany; middle Austria; Vienna then to Prague, Czech Republic and Berlin. Then we’ll make our way back through Germany with our last night before Milan in Liechtenstein. We brought our own navigators to suit the BMW cradles, set them

to avoid tollways and motorways and off we went. About half way along Lake Como we came to an unexpected ferry crossing [I suspect Michael and Diane went to Bellagio by mistake – The Bear]. On the up side we found ourselves in a beautiful little B & B – Kiki’s B&B, a few kilometres up the road. The next morning, we put our faith in the navigators again! We were delivered safely to Innsbruck without ferry crossings. Our path to Innsbruck took us through the

Swiss Alps, lots of twisties and narrow passes with streams and waterfalls. Morning tea was at Saint Moritz (had to put that in). The weather when we got to Innsbruck wasn’t so kind for riding so we went sightseeing around the old town and also took in the Renaissance castle – Schloss Ambras which is a display of the personal collection from Archduke Ferdinand II, including among other things medieval armour and really worth a visit.

Words Michael Seidl

Photos d iane l oui

When the weather cleared we rode to the nearby town, Schwartz, and visited an old silver mine; really interesting to see how it was done in the old days and worth the tour.

On the way through to Munich after more curvy roads we visited the Neuschwanstein Castle (Disneyland’s logo is based on this castle). We had not realised that it was school holidays and the crowd was too big so we just admired it from a distance and went on our way. Not far down the road we found a pub with a pile

of bikes parked out the front and so we stopped for lunch – great atmosphere and food! While in Munich a must tourist activity is to witness the famous Glockenspiel in action in Marienplatz – it chimes and re-enacts two stories from the 16th century at least twice per day (you need to look up the times as it varies according to the season). We also went out to the concentration camp at Dachau, a daunting experience and a reminder to all that this kind of activity should never happen

again. Never-the-less a worthwhile visit and well presented. On the way back to the hotel we just happen to find BMW World next to the BMW factory and Museum, they have a great display of their products and future ideas. You can sit on all the bikes and if it takes your fancy in the cars too! Naturally we visited some of the beer halls as well.

We left Munich in search of the Hitler’s summer retreat known as the Eagle’s Nest with complete faith that our navigators would take us

the shortest distance without ferry crossings. We had roughly half a tank of fuel remaining and off we went. The fuel light came on so we reset our accomplice navigator to fi nd the nearest servo, great - 5km down the road and in the direction we are travelling. ‘You have arrived at your destination’ – it was a second hand car yard! Mmm – we asked a nearby shop and they assured us there was one in the next village, 8km down the road – we had already travelled 20km on the fuel light and not knowing the bike’s capacity off we went. The bikes took roughly 14.7 litres each to fi ll with a capacity of 16 litres – so no worries, on that note we decided to have morning tea.

We made it to the Eagle’s Nest in time to have lunch in Hitler’s summer house. The views are amazing, when you visit you need to

park and catch a bus up to the top as it’s restricted vehicle access, 25 Euro return ticket which also gets you a ride in the lift that they built inside the mountain (as a birthday gift to Hitler). The lift brings you to the inside of the house which is now private quarters and a restaurant. Allow a minimum of two hours for your visit as there are lots of visitors and a limited number of buses and the lift capacity is about 25 people – the experience is well worth it. Closed in winter and if weather conditions are poor.

We went onto Vienna from the Eagle’s Nest via the Austrian State of Carinthia traversing beautiful landscapes and of course more twisties, what would a bike trip be without lots of hairpins and tight corners?

The mountains soon disappeared and we were riding through

undulating hills, our navigator on track. We decided to get on one of the Hop-on-hop-off buses and found the yellow coloured bus line offered the most number of routes –great commentary, free head sets and free wifi on board. Learnt and saw a lot.

Prague, 33C when we arrived, so much history wherever we go. After an express visit going to the

main attractions of the old city and the Charles Bridge it was too hot to wander up to the Prague castle so we put it on the wish list for next time.

Next stop Berlin. We had booked a BMW Motorcycle factory tour months prior to leaving Australia and planned our route around the tour date but a few days before getting to Berlin we got an email cancelling the tour – a bit of a damper on our trip. We took advantage of that to leave Berlin a day earlier and go to Cologne for a short sightseeing visit and then headed for Stuttgart. We travelled down the Rhine and stopped at a little place north of Rudesheim, Baubach. We found a medieval pub to stay in, built in 1597. Possibly haunted, as my companions were woken in the middle of the night by loud sounds of chain rattling in the ceiling above.

The next morning, we headed to Stuttgart our intention to visit the

Mercedes Museum. We were foiled again; museums are closed on Mondays in Germany!

From Stuttgart we started to head back to Milan via the Black Forest and stayed in a little place smack in the middle with a side trip to Freiburg, a beautiful little city on the western side of the Black Forest. After that we went through Liechtenstein and down past Lake Lugano to Milan. Our trip covered just over 5,000km, one day of rain and some on our scheduled non-riding days (just dampened our sightseeing), otherwise beautiful weather, a bit hot if anything. Great roads and beautiful scenery – don’t mention the food, it was also delightful. Don’t hold back: this kind of trip should be on everyone’s bucket list! This was our second in Europe and I’d like to say not our last. D

Take photos of the bike before taking delivery.

Go for a test ride around the block before you load up, in case there’s an issue with the bike or navigator (if you hired one).

Have a paper map with a reasonable scale of the area you will be riding, in case of roadworks and detours. You’ll have a better idea of where you’re going without totally relying on the navigator (if you have one, although a navigator is a must).

Parking is a breeze with a bike – park almost anywhere without a problem.

Be prepared to pay to go to the loo (around 50 Euro cents) and take your own paper – it’s not guaranteed to be there! We found in Venice the public toilet was €1.50.

Many fuel stations are unmanned and not able to display English instructions – it’s manageable, though.

There are speed cameras in Germany, well camouflaged and without warning signs, other countries may have warning signs.

Some German Autobahns are speed limited but it’s not observed, they’ll scream up beside you doing 180km+ and realise that the exit coming up is the one they want, slam on the brakes and cut across in front of you with a little more than 1.5m clearance – scary!

TRAVEL

POSTIE NOTES

MORE FAME FOR MO

WORDS/PHOTOS JACQUI KENNEDY

Autumn in Queensland brings the annual migration of Grey Nomads seeking warmer climes and a slower pace. I could now count myself among the hordes albeit travelling on the tiny CT110 motorcycle called Mo, with a tent as my only shelter. Romantic notions of camping beside slow meandering riverbanks or in hidden pockets of

magnificent gorges continue to be the norm as technology has made it easier to find free and wild camps mostly devoid of those large white Winnebagos. I was also the recipient of the wonderful hospitality of fellow motorcyclists from every club, and even non-riding strangers off the internet. I continue to be ever grateful

for the hand of friendship extended to the stray traveller.

It is always a bonus to be able to explore a region with the benefit of local knowledge and the Sunshine Coast was no exception. Naz and Michael live inland from the high-rise jungle along the coast, and we spent days exploring the hinterland around Maleny, following a meandering route to cover the Big Things of the area.

A half day excursion along the coast exposed the excesses of greed and corruption of property developers who are leaving a scarred landscape and a sour taste. There has to be a fine balance between the needs of the local communities, the expectations of tourists, the economic forces of growth and the delicate natural environment. The Sunshine Coast is rapidly evolving into a clone of the worst excesses of the Gold Coast and I couldn’t escape fast enough.

One oasis in this sea of congestion is Australia Zoo. Ignoring the hype,

the zoo is a fine tribute to Steve Irwin, an incredible man with an incredible vision of environmental conservation. My little bandaged bear Sprocket, from the Children’s Hospital at Westmead, was courteously escorted throughout the zoo to meet some of the animals.

A few days later Naz delivered me into the hands of Jock and Annie further west of the escarpment near Kilkivan. Jock was famous for being the only person to have crossed the Simpson Desert unassisted on a Postie bike, putting a big arsed quadbike tyre on the back to help him get over the 1400 sand dunes. He was keen to

reclaim the Byron Bay to Steep Point east-to-west crossing record.

Annie and I discovered that our paths had crossed before - 32 years before, at the Franklin Dam Blockade in Tasmania. We had both spent time “upriver” and were arrested during the protests. Jock and Annie were busy restoring an old house in the bush with recycled or repurposed materials. They have cleared an area as a free campsite for passing motorcyclists with a large camp kitchen and bush dunny.

Brushing the cobwebs off Jock’s postie, they took time out of their building schedule to show me the

wonderful countryside around the Burnett area.

Swinging back to the coast, I set forth on another pilgrimage to the tiny hamlet of Tin Can Bay. Thirty years prior I had been “put ashore” in Tin Can Bay when I refused a yacht captain’s expectations of extra benefits from his female crew. Extracting myself from the tiny backwater in 1984 had been an ordeal and I was revisiting to wipe the slate clean. What I found was one of the nicest little pockets in the whole of Australia, number two on my list (after Shark Bay WA) with its only drawback being the nastiest sandflies in Queensland.

It retained its 1960s charm with fibro houses and very little ostentatious development. It was here I met Nev and Shelly who adopted me and introduced me to fishing and crabbing in the quiet waters between the Bay and the southern tip of Fraser Island.

I attended the Anzac Day ceremony and delighted in the intimate, small-town parade and enjoyed a Two-Up game with the locals.

A fellow motorcyclist, Ian, who had been following my story in AMM, caught me on the street one day and invited me to dinner. Encounters such as these are the essence of travel.

As a total contrast to the tranquillity

of Tin Can Bay, Mo and I ventured north to Hervey Bay and reeled in horror when confronted with sprawling mega-malls and unchecked high-rise development. This was to be our base for a tour of Fraser Island but the impersonal atmosphere and tourist gouging mentality made my skin crawl.

I did a day trip with a bus tour operator – and yes, Fraser Island is magnificent –and then escaped the rat-race forthwith. Further north, Jock rejoined me and Mo to introduce us to the Boolboondah Tunnel. The tunnel is 192m through rock, unlined and unsupported - all dug by hand in 1883 without use of explosives. It was going to be part of

the railway line to exploit minerals in the area but that never eventuated.

We free camped that night in the grounds of the Mungungo hotel and without an escort the next day, I managed to get woefully lost in the backroads, subjecting Mo to 100km of rough dirt tracks before we were unceremoniously spat out onto the Bruce Highway.

Riding Mo, albeit at 70km/h, never fails to leave me with a grin cemented to my face. Minor hiccups become even more insignificant when one encounters the amazing people of our wide brown land.

www.postienotes.com.au D

TRAVEL

EDELWEISS BIKE TRAVEL

Franziska Falkner

www.edelweissbike.com franziska.falkner@edelweissbike.com Tel +43 5264 5690-23

WORDS THE BEAR/TOUR OPERATORS

IN THEIR OWN PICS

We get a lot of questions about travel, and we can’t necessarily answer them all; especially since we often don’t know what you really want. So I’ve asked some of the tour operators I know and like to send us a picture that sums up their tours, to give you an idea just what it is they do. I’ve even included contact names so you’ll feel like one of the family straight away. So here’s your opportunity to kickstart your imagination. Ready, set… dream! Of course this is not the full story;

there are more operators out there who can offer you a lot of fun. Keep an eye out for another article just like this one. And if you’re a tour organiser: send us a photo and a few words and there’s a good chance that you will get a run, too. The merrier, the more as we say here… (is that right?)

WHO’S YOUR DADDY?

Who needs a bike when you’re having so much fun? Just kidding. I think Edelweiss is the world’s largest motorcycle tour company; I would be very surprised if anyone could offer

more than they do. I have by now done three of their tours – Pyrenees, Norway and Cuba. They choose the roads, the accommodation and everything else with thoughtfulness and care. Their routes are outstanding, too and they seem to be able to find and fit in just about all of the attractions along the way.

PANORAMIC

Adriatic Moto Tours is a Slovenian motorcycle tour operator company, based in Ljubljana - a wonderful gateway to start and end diverse tours from the Alps to the Black Sea. In

ADRIATIC MOTO TOURS

Martina Malovrh

www.adriaticmototours.com

info@adriaticmototours.com Tel +386 31 345 445

IMTBIKE TOURS

Ryan Brunhaver www.IMTBIKE.com tours@imtbike.com

Tel +34 91 633 72 22

addition to the professionally guided, full service tours, you can choose simply to rent a bike and go it alone, or draw upon AMT’s experience for written instructions, maps, and pre -arranged lodgings, plus motorcycle rental. I’ve done one of their tours and loved it – roads, scenery, food and all.

NO RAIN IN SPAIN

IMTBIKE Tours & Rentals covers Southern Europe, Morocco and the rest of the world. They have been

MOTOLOMBIA

Mike Thomsen www.Motolombia.com

doing this for 20 years and have a fleet of more than 150 new BMWs. I’ve travelled with them, and recommend them highly. Their choice of accommodation in Spain was absolutely outstanding; I’m going back with Mrs Bear. They sent me a choice of photos, so I picked the one that shows a road that I’ve travelled with them. It really looks like that – and even better.

A LOT OF COFFEE

mike@motolombia.com

Tel +57 314 652 39 76

The motto of Motolombia is ‘Let the Adventure Begin’ and they mean it. Services include rentals – you can

• guided and self guided tours

• late model BMW fleet

• scenic destinations and impeccable service

• 2017 tour calendar out now

• book before November 30th for 10% discount

MOTORCYCLE TOURS

www.scenicwheels.com.au

TRAVEL

CENTRAL OTAGO MOTORCYCLE HIRE

Dave & Janeen

www.comotorcyclehire.co.nz

info@comotorcyclehirs.co.nz

Tel +64 (0)3 445 4487

SCENIC WHEELS MOTORCYCLE TOURS

Jason Southby

www.scenicwheels.com.au

jason@scenicwheels.com.au

Tel +61 417 035 388

PARADISE MOTORCYCLE TOURS NZ

Mike or Andre

rent an Africa Twin, for example –and tours both in Colombia and the rest of South America. Tours can be customised; they guide many private tours every year and can also set up the perfect private one-on-one or group tour for you and your friends. This can be any of the published tours or a completely customised tour to fit your exact wishes and dates.

SOUTHWARD HO

Personal service is the watchword at Central Otago Motorcycle Hire. The aim is to give you a top riding experience in the South Island of NZ, and they will happily guide you or just turn you loose on one of their bikes. They can pick you up from Queenstown airport, and you can even shack up at their base among the Bannockburn Vineyards and do day trips. Some of the best riding on the planet is at their doorstep, they claim, and I’ll vouch for that.

FREE WHEELING

Welcoming guided and self-guided tour customers, Scenic Wheels offers you great holidays in Australia on carefully designed motorcycle routes, scenic destinations and premium accommodation. Self-guided tour customers have complete flexibility in the design of their Australian motorcycling holidays. Scenic Wheels is small enough to offer personalised service but big enough to secure good value on bike rental and much else.

www.paradisemotorcycletours.co.nz

andre@paradisemotorcycletours.co.nz

Tel +64 9473 9404

ROAD TO PARADISE

Guided or self-guided tours, or just looking for a ride to explore the amazing sights in this land of paradise, Paradise Motorcycle Tours NZ are an official BMW Motorrad partner so not only do you get the latest BMW motorcycles to choose from, but you get highly trained guides to give you the nest possible tour. We’ve done two tours with the guys at Paradise and if you had to pick one word to describe them: euphoric.

JUST SAY WOW!

Think of the Australian hit song “I’ve Been Everywhere” and you’re

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

WORLD ON WHEELS

Denise Ferris www.worldonwheels.tours adventure@worldonwheels.tours

Tel +61 2 9970 6370

describing pioneers of the industry World on Wheels (formerly Ferris Wheels Motorcycle Safaris), except in their case it’s the entire world. Tours have covered Africa, Europe, South and Central America, Asia and Iceland, and more, for 22 years. Every tour is personally guided by either or both of

years

www.adriaticmototours.com

the husband and wife team Denise and Mike. They even have their own 'World On Wheels' TV series airing globally.

ENCOMPASS THE RIDE

I explored South America with Compass, and created some memories

Beautiful Balkans Adventure

Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia, Montenegro

that will always stick with me. The visit to Machu Picchu, the Atacama desert, the weird figures of the Nazca Lines – and so much more. Compass Expeditions runs tours all over the world, with varying degrees of difficulty. The tours are professionally led, mostly accompanied by a luggage

TRAVEL

COMPASS EXPEDITIONS

Craig Jackson www.compassexpeditions.com

craig@compassexpeditions.com

Tel 1300 887 327 (Australia), +61 3 9747 2379 (International)

truck and designed to make the most of the countryside they cross. The photo is one of mine!

JUST RIDE IT

Asia is home to some of the finest motorcycling terrain in the world.

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

From the high passes of the Himalayas to the thick Cambodian jungle, you can ride through snowy landscapes, past ancient lost temples and along pristine white sandy beaches. Ride Expeditions prides itself

in delivering motorcycle tours to the highest of standards. We combine local culture, exciting riding, quality accommodation and high levels of safety to create unforgettable experiences.

RIDE EXPEDITIONS

CO., LTD

Toby Jacobs rideexpeditions.com toby@rideexpeditions.com

Tel +44 1273 930 383

ADMO TOURS

Uwe Diemer

www.AdMo-Tours.info (tours) www.AdMo-Tours.com (rentals)

Tel +49 8361 282 520 (Germany) +1 760 249 1105 (USA)

SOUTH PACIFIC MOTORCYCLE TOURS

Carole and Mike

www.motorbiketours.co.nz

office@motorbiketours.co.nz

Skype: ride.nz

Tel + 64 3312 0066

DUBBELJU MOTORCYCLE RENTALS

Wolfgang Taft

www.dubbelju.com

Tel +1 866 495 2774

JUST AD MO TIME

AdMo-Tours is your motorcycle travel service and tour operator for groups and individuals, offering world-wide motorcycle rentals,

tours, and training. They can arrange your personalized motorcycle adventure in more than 50 countries with a supplier network of more than 200 individual motorcycle rental providers worldwide. For more than a decade, AdMo has been advising motorcycle travelers from offi ces in both America and Europe.

DOUBLE JU FUN

Dubbelju is a first-class motorcycle

rental shop, conveniently located in San Francisco California. The founder, my friend Wolfgang Taft, and his team provide personal, friendly service, offer unique insights into the best roads to ride, and strive to ensure you return home with only the best of motorcycling memories. Dubbelju’s diverse rental fleet is impeccably maintained and inspected before each ride. I’ve been using Dubbelju for decades now, and will continue to do so.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

South Pacific Motorcycle Tours are holding our New Zealand tour next year – 8-17 April. You will have seen their ad and our editorial on the tour in previous issues and this issue. The South Island is simply one of the most stunning places on this earth so don’t miss having the time of your life. D

LONGTERMERS

DUCATI SCRAMBLER IT’S GOT A REXXER, MATE!

Price - $440

The Bear’s Ducati Scrambler was badly in need of a service so I booked it in with Ducati specialists, D Moto Motorcycle Engineering who are at Unit 4, 3-5 Harbord Street, Granville, NSW. After a good going over with the torque wrench and giving it a minor service with the expert hands of Shaun, George and Mark the Scrambler was given an ECU flash. This is a re-map of the standard

D Moto Motorcycle Engineering

Unit4, 3-5 Harbord Street

Granville NSW 2142

Ph: 02 8677 9120

E: dmoto@dmoto.com.au

W: www.dmoto.com.au

electronic control unit from Rexxer. Standard, the Scrambler is quite rough at idle and bottom to mid acceleration feels like you’ve got your hand stuck over the intake, so after giving the ECU a reflash with Rexxer’s “Smooth” Scrambler map I was hoping for big things, and D Moto delivered.

First thing I noticed after the reflash was done was the idle – it’s much smoother now. Then as soon as I left D Moto’s driveway the increase in bottom end torque and the smoothness the reflash has given the Scrambler became obvious. Then when the speed got up a little I noticed the slight increase in mid-range power and when

I reached the AMM office I had to call Shaun at D Moto to tell him that the Rexxer map has transformed the Scrambler into a bike I’d enjoy riding, whereas before I wasn’t overly joyed to be on it. I also mentioned to Shaun that this is the way the Scrambler should come from the factory! It really has changed the bike that much. The boys at D Moto can reflash your ECU for a wide range of bikes and of course they can service, fix and do just about anything you’d like done to your bike. They can even race prep a machine of any make. Shaun has built the engine on my mate Chris and my Period 6 Yamaha FZR1000, and

the experience the guys at D Moto have stretches to World Superbikes, so you know you’ve got highly skilled technicians working on your pride and joy. It’s rare nowadays that you get such skill and a more personal service that you won’t find from large dealerships. The guys even have a loan scooter if you’ve got no other transport and they’ve got a clothes rack for your jacket and helmet if you want to jump on the train or bus, which is nearby.

If The Bear has come away a very happy bear, you need to get your machine to D Moto too! And getting your ECU reflashed for smoothness and more power/torque is well worth the money. Give the guys a call on 02 8677 9120 to discuss your bike and to book it in. SW

YAMAHA MT-09 TRACER

RIZOMA TIME, BABY!

Adding a bit of personalisation to a bike is always a good thing and fitting exquisite Rizoma accessories to our Tracer is the way to do that. We’ve fitted large amounts of Rizoma to a couple of our long termers, namely our Ducati Scrambler and Yamaha MT-07, but I didn’t just want to give the bike a full-on revision with it this time, rather, just pick a few functional items that improve the touring capabilities, so I chose the Veloce Naked mirrors, Street footpegs and a tasty Rizoma front brake fluid reservoir cap, because looking at the standard one is not as nice.

The Veloce mirrors require adaptors and fitment took about twenty minutes. The main reason for fitting different mirrors to the Tracer was for improved vision and of course the looks. The clarity from the blue

tinted lenses is superb in all lighting conditions and being a properly built mirror there is no unwanted vibration that blurs vision riding on the roughest roads. The cost is 124.17 euro each and the adaptors are 7.92 euro each. Expensive, but oh so worth every dollar.

Next up came the footpegs. The standard tracer pegs are a bit too sporty for a touring bike and getting something with a bit more of a platform was the aim. The pegs are grippy and I angled them slightly forward for more comfort as against leaving them flat. Fitment took around fifteen minutes and the cost is 115.83 euro for the pegs and 32.50 euro for the adaptors. Rizoma also sent the same for the pillion so they are super comfy. Add in another 115.83 euro for the pegs and 24.17 euro for the adpators.

The brake fluid cap, priced at 49.17 euro, is only to make you feel good while touring. The standard one was plain and boring whereas the Rizoma fluid cap gives the Tracer a bit more class. For all of your Rizoma accessories, visit the website www. rizoma.com or there are a number of stockists around the country who can help you out. SW D

PUNCTURES

THE JOYS! OH, THE JOYS! WORDS LESTER MORRIS

These days a flat tyre is just that; a flat tyre. Many years ago, long before the tubeless tyre became reality, a ‘flat tyre’ was in fact a flat tube. A flat tube was by no means an unusual occurrence in those days, because

odd metallic parts like nails, screws, mysterious pieces of thin tin-plate, the occasional glass sliver, even a deep, ragged-edged pot-hole would see a motorcycle tube (and, of course, a car or truck tube) empty itself of life-

SHORT ADELAIDE TOURS ON BENELLI BN600Rs

giving air in no time flat (Get it? ‘No time flat’ Ha! Ha!). Oh, sorry about that.

Every half-way decent toolbox, with which every motorcycle was thoughtfully equipped, carried a small

Don’t have much time? We lead one-day or shorter tours on some of the best roads in the Barossa Valley, Adelaide Hills and Fleurieu Peninsula. Hire exciting BN600R Benellis. Visit www.radtours.com.au and click on the TOUR LOCATIONS button. www.eaglescreens.com.au

vulcanising kit. The kit consisted of a small metal box which held six small metal containers in which sat a cardboard-like, special salt-peter (potassium nitrate) material, under which was attached a small rubber patch measuring about 50 x 35mm. A small metal clamp was also included. All motorcycles came equipped with either one, or two, toolboxes, usually triangular in shape, with rounded corners, and usually located just at the rear of, and under, the rider’s single saddle. A typical toolbox – mine was an example – might carry a complete set of well-greased, well-wrapped control cables, a spare spark plug –or two - and plug spanner, a set of ignition contact points, a couple of connecting links for primary and drive chain, spare headlight and tail-light bulbs, perhaps a small can of oil for the rear chain, a range of spanners and screwdrivers, three or four small tyre levers, a spare tube – yes, spare tube - and your tube repair kit. All neatly wrapped in a couple of old face flannels to stop them rattling about: except, of course, for the ‘silent’ rubber tube which might sit in a toolbox on its own.

The once-ubiquitous tyre-pump, almost the same size as one fitted to push-bikes, and equally as effective(?), was thoughtfully included as standard equipment on all machines; the only difference between the two very similar appliances being a small, wire stirrup attached to the pump which came with the powered machine. This allowed a rider to fold the stirrup out and stand upon the thing to allow a little more grunt as one sweated and strove to inflate a tube to a pressure high enough to allow the machine to be ridden carefully to a nearby service station. There, the offending tube would suddenly receive a decent puff of life-giving air. Often, the rider who had spent too long a time in vertically injecting several puffs of air into a flat tube might need a quick suck on the facility’s life- giving air himself!

A box of matches was part of the tube’s repair kit, the heat from which, when applied to the highly combustible material (salt peter is

often used in fireworks) in the small container which would be clamped firmly to the offending tube, resulted in sufficient heat to melt the rubber material so that a perfect seal was created which effected a nighimmediate, perfect repair.

That was in far-off days of the bright-red rubber tubes with which just about every motor vehicle on the road came equipped. Into the late fifties a new, foul-smelling black material called Butyl appeared, from which inner tubes – and, later, tyres - were made. It was like a type of ‘rubberised’ plastic, to which the usual, rubber vulcanising patches were not quite so adherent.

" I FOUND THIS OUT THE HARD WAY WHEN A REAR TYRE ON MY 1953 ‘ IRON GOLDIE ’ BSA SUDDENLY EMITTED A RUDE, EXTREMELY FLATULENT SOUND ONE DAY ”

While the vulcaniser patch would ensure a first-rate seal when applied to a rubber tube, and could manage to attain a reasonable seal on a butyl tube as well, it was quite useless when a rider discovered that the rear tube was flat (for some reason it was almost always a rear tube) which happened because the valve had actually pulled right out of the tube and could not be repaired.

Doesn’t happen with tubeless tyres, of course, but this was very common in days of yore when all tyres were inflated by the tubes fitted inside them. Sometimes, therein lay the problem. The 65mm long valve stems of those inner tubes were threaded for their full length onto which a round locking collar was tightened to the wheel rim to ensure the valve stem remained upright. But that simple locknut often turned out to be much more nuisance than it was worth – in fact it could actually be quite dangerous if it was tightened as it should be.

What often happened was this: the narrow tyres - almost invariably 3.50”

wide, on 19” steel rims in those days were fitted onto chrome-plated wheel rims and, because water is rubber’s natural lubricant it was quite common for the steel rim to move very minutely from time to time inside the tyre, with the inevitable result that the tube’s valve would remain upright if the lock-nut was tightened up. This would mean that one day, and without warning, the inner tube would move far enough with its attendant tyre for the valve to be pulled right out of it. This would result in a very sudden loss of tyre pressure, often with the equally sudden occurrence of a rider renewing a close relationship with an unyielding, abrasive road surface.

It certainly would be no puncture, in the truest sense of the word, but the end result was entirely the same. I found this out the hard way when a rear tyre on my 1953 ‘Iron Goldie’ BSA suddenly emitted a rude, extremely flatulent sound one day as it swiftly deflated while I was enthusiastic ear-‘oleing the bike (how self-explanatory is that expression!) through a series of great corners in Mooney Mooney, near Gosford. After I picked myself up off the roadway several paces away and lifted the bike up to see the tyre hanging half off the rear rim I knew at once the cause of the Giant Raspberry I had recently heard.

It looked as though it was a sudden puncture (or closer to a blow-out) because the tube’s valve was still upright, but when I pulled the tube out it came away with the valve still in place, and so I knew at once what the problem was, and just as suddenly what to do about it to see that it would never happen again.

OK, that tube couldn’t be repaired but I had to get out of a fairly isolated spot, so I stuffed the dead tube back inside the casing and tightly packed handful after handful of tall stems of yellowing roadside grass into the open spaces. It took a very long time, but once the tyre was fitted again, the bike was at least rideable, the rear tyre looking as if was under-inflated. It was a very slow ride home, my thanks shouted to the winds at the occasional

car driver who called out as he passed to let me know that my rear tyre was almost fl at.

From that day on, every inner tube I ever sold over the spare parts counter to any motorcyclist was attended with the warning that the threaded locking collar should be pelted away, because it would then allow a rider to see if the tube’s valve was canted over at an angle instead of being held upright.

The simple cure for an angled valve was to defl ate the tyre (always the rear tyre, because of the transmission of power to it) ease it off the rim with a couple of tyre levers, apply the rear brake and then slide the tyre back so that the (un-collared) valve stem stood upright again. It was then a simple matter of infl ating the tube again, which is why that exercise was better accomplished in a quiet area of your nearest friendly service station, close by the compressed-air pump. Pretty agricultural stuff in those days, to be sure, but a cure nonetheless.

That was one reason why I always carried a spare inner tube with me when on long rides thereafter; it wasn’t through concerns that a valve would be plucked from its host tube, of course, for as I explained, I overcame that problem very neatly. It was in case a puncture occurred on a Butyl tube, which may not have been effectively repaired by using a rubber vulcanising patch.

With that large locking collar always pelted into the nearest bin, it was then an easy matter to keep the occasional eye on a valve stem, which could then be easily corrected if need be. But this still happened much too often on the potent BSA for my liking, so I had to adopt some very extreme measures to overcome this annoying problem. It took all of one Sunday for me to attack the wheel rim with a cold chisel, nicking the inner lip of the rim all the way around to allow the slightly raised metal to better grip the slippery tyres with which the bike had been shod. The tyres of old, as you may by now be well

aware, were not the tyres of today, but I recall the Dunlop or Italian Borrani alloy rims which were often used on sports machines in those days employed a series of similar, cast-in serrations on their inner surfaces to help in locating a tyre firmly. It seems odd, I know, but there it is.

But the ‘creeping tyre’ syndrome continued to happen to me too often for my liking, so the final solution was to drill six equally-spaced holes through the sides of the rim and then to screw in a dozen short, self-tapping screws which just pierced the outer sidewalls of the tyre, thereby curing the problem forever.

Rough but ready? Oh, yes, but the problem of a fairly potent engine driving a steel wheel embraced by a rubber rear tyre was instantly solved. I might also add that I saw more than a few sporting motorcycles on the road which had had that simple modification applied, with even more of them lurking in the pits at road race meetings at Bathurst and Mount Druitt in the fifties. D

WHATSAYYOU

WE

LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU, the letters are among the most keenly read parts of the magazine. Please try and keep letters down to no more than 300 words. Then you can read many, not just a couple. We do reserve the right to cut them and, unless you identify yourself and at least your town or suburb and state, we will print your email address instead. Please address letters to thebear@ausmotorcyclist.com.au or Australian Motorcyclist Magazine, PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111. All opinions published here are those of the writers and we do not vouch for their accuracy or even their sanity!

HANDING THEM OUT AGAIN…

Tguy-ropes anywhere. And I think I found all of them.

Down a side road from there are the remains of Elsey Station of Aeneas Gunn’s “ We of the NeverNever “ fame. Sheep in that country? They must have had the fattest dingoes .

the remains of Elsey Station of Waters

his month’s winning letter in the contest for the three-fi ngered waterproof over gloves goes to Ross Halpin, a good and long-time friend of MOTORCYCLIST. Ross will fi nd it easier to cope with the storms he enjoys so much if his hands are dry, I suspect. And for those of you who haven’t won a pair of Andy Strapz’s wondrous protectors from rain for your hands, keep trying or just damn well buy them from www. andystrapz.com. And ride in the rain with joy!

WELCOME COUNTRY

Good morning, Bear / Stuart. An observation on Col’s Stuart H/ way story. All much as he says but we’ve taken to staying at Mataranka Hot (should be tepid ) Springs Resort. Good people, good prices, happy hour - with a very slow clock and, each time we’ve been there, a band, mostly R&R backed by a redhot didgeridoo player who could make the nape-hairs stand! Food is standard bistro, fresh and plentiful and well priced. The fi rst time we stayed there we had tea and then Elizabeth went back to camp early. I walked her back and then came back to the bar for a while. Left when they called stumps - which was late - and then headed back to camp. Y’know, people just peg their

I agree with his description of Daly Waters pub; just a tourist trap. Birdsville is no different now. We went through there - B/ville - a couple of years ago and to give the nostalgia a polish I went to the Pub, somehow thinking that things would not have changed much since the early ‘70s when it was my second home. Soulless. Walls and ceiling covered with hats, bras, number-plates, etc. Long way up himself young Pom serving, working at the speed of Australian social change. Noise levels you couldn’t think over. Truly; one ought never go back.

For me, a great ride, one I love, is from 3-Ways across the Barkly to Camooweal. Nearly 450km of sweet, er, very little; unless you count the wheeling fl ocks of budgies, or the air cool, clean and smelling of wattle, or sunrises and sunsets; vast swathes of orange gold underlined by a knife-edged horizon of pure jet. Or west of Barkly Homestead, coming home, watching a moon-rise. Because of the fl atness of the country that pale gold -or deep blood-red if there’s dust about - orb seems to fi ll the horizon. Again, coming home in midNovember, just on dawn near Avon Downs, watching the monsoon storms doing bombing runs across the country and lightning fl ashing between the clouds with the rising sun behind them. Riding through half a dozen such in an hour. Coming through one to fi nd myself facing a fl ood-way, 100 yards across

and running about a foot deep from an earlier storm. Quite interesting. I really love that country; the Centre and the North. I’m reminded of a comment of yours many magazines ago of “The sheer, over-whelming power of the Australian bush “. And that one of our original people that “You don’t own the country; the country owns you “. I’ve never had any trouble accepting either of those sentiments.

By the way, in a back corner of the Barkly Homestead dining-room is suspended the tattered remains of a Brough Superior. Needs work.

And Bear, if Col is looking for a ride, shoot him out to Yaraka, south-west of Blackall . Free camping and free showers/toilets behind little hall, a good feed at the pub and when the meals are out of the way settle on the veranda with the hosts and few other visitors and yarn away as long as you all can stand it. No other noise, just easy conversation. And if he wants excitement he could ride back 10km to Mt. Slocombe and test his hill-climbing skills on the single-lane tar road to the top. Or camp there and get some brilliant dawn and dusk shots. Guaranteed no light pollution.

Ok, I’ll get out of the way. I have to be at Uluru at the end of the month for my grand-daughter’s course completion and subsequent celebration. I’ll go there through Tennant and home via Port Augusta. (176km longer ). Let’s pray for some storms and a bit of overcast weather!

Cheers and best wishes, Ross Halpin, Mitchell, Qld

You know, I’ve just decided to make my next ride a trip through the outback. High time – The Bear

SERIOUSLY BAD NEWS

Hi all,

I reside in Hamilton, Victoria and notice that you have The George Hotel in your accommodation guide. That hotel has in the last few weeks been pulled down much to the regret of some. Others are glad that those walls can no longer talk!

Love the mag by the way. Keep up the great work.

Cheers,

Ray McCabe

COMPLIMENT FROM BOB

Hey Bear, it’s Beemer Bob.

You know I sometimes have a whinge to you about crap you write about BMWs. Well this time I want to say that you have done a bloody good job. That list of accommodation for riders is tops. I usually carry my camping gear but sometimes the weather gets a bit rough and this way I can maybe find a good place to stay where they won’t tell me they’re full when they’re not, if you know what I mean.

Now I want to add another place and make it a hundred and forty. It’s the Cann River pub and I don’t know their telephone number but I know it’s good value. East Gippsland is practically home for me so I don’t need to stay there but it will be different for other riders because it’s a long way to another pub with good accommodation.

Actually, the Genoa pub is alright too.

Of course nobody can stay in Cann River or Genoa if they aren’t riding a BMW (my little joke). Hey, do I win the finger frangers for this?

Beemer Bob

Gippsland, Vic No – The Bear

YOU NEVER KNOW

Hi Bear,

Just been talking to the new manager of the Kookaburra Cafe at Nana Glen. I called in for lunch and to read some of the December edition of AM. She moved to Nana Glen from West Wyalong.

She recounted how target closed one of their “country” stores down in West Wyalong. That seemed to affect the town in unsuspecting ways. She said she was talking to the butcher. The butcher seemed to think his sales dropped when Target closed.

In trying to explain this, it was hypothesized that the loss of Target and the lack of a Coles or Woolies seemed to make some people’s minds up about shopping in some of the nearby towns that had a range of shop types and some choice. As well as lower prices. But that’s not all. Apparently one of the big supermarkets wanted to move in to West Wyalong but was blocked somehow (fact or rumourdon’t know).

She also suggested that the towns with a mine nearby seemed to do well.

My other theory is to do with vehicle fuel economies. They are, say, 50% better than 10 yrs ago. This combined with shopping choice at bigger towns persuades people to travel to shop. Cheers, Josh

I think it depends on the way you look at it in time, Josh. If a big shop moves in – usually on the outskirts of town, away from the others –then small shops often close down. But if the big shop then also closes, they don’t reopen! I quite agree about the mine (unless it closes, too) and your idea about fuel economy.

Everybody really has to get together to save some towns – The Bear

TRAILER SEARCH

Bear,

If you are looking for a retro style trailer have a look at Inder, www.inderexports. com but it appears that PAV are still being made but in the UK http://www. a57towing.co.uk/pav.htm I looked at Mrs Google. I remembered seeing one for the Royal Enfield and it was just a matter of persistent searching. I probably have more time than you what with you having to do all of those overseas trips as well as ride lots of different bikes you poor bugger. Not to mention sitting in front of a PC thinking and typing.

Jeff Cole Alice Springs, NT Semi-retired – So much to do, so little time to do it.

Thank you, Jeff. The English ones are outrageously expensive (700 Euros plus) but the Indian ones look all right – The Bear

NO-MOTORCYCLE MAG

Bear,

Much as I respect all the things you have done and so on, and Boris and whatnot else I think maybe I need to remind you that this is a motorcycle magazine. It should be full of motorcycles not stuffing around. I can take the travel articles because I like to do that too, but there is too much other crap.

Yours sincerely,

Jeremy “Pinta” Hargreaves Coffs Harbour NSW

Well, I don’t know, Pinta. The magazine is called “MOTORCYCLIST” you know, not motorcycle – The Bear

of bike parking. Phone ahead for large groups.

Bridge Street, Lithgow NSW

Motorcyclists Ken and Tania welcome you to their highly recommended cafe. Wood Fired Pizza, Tapas and Espresso Bar.

JEFF AGAIN – AND LOUDLY Bear,

In AMM #45 What Say You Tim Standen laments the pitiful standard bike horn. Tim should check out https://screaming-banshee.com/ and something like http://www. signaldynamics.com/ headlight modulator. The headlight modulator IS legal in Australia (/Australian Vehicle Standards Rules Part 8, Division 2, Rule 77//(3)/ although mine operates on both high and low beam which it shouldn’t to be strictly legal). The only problem I have found with the headlight modulator is that drivers in front often slow to a crawl when they see the ‘flashing’ light behind.

I got into the crowdfunding of the first Screaming Banshee and got one at a ‘bargain’ price. I haven’t fitted it because, as you say, it is large and I couldn’t find anywhere satisfactory to fit it. The new model is smaller but I am not sure I can find anywhere to fit it either.

The Signal Dynamics modulator can be switched off but reverts to ON on restart. For a longer term fix, a bit of Blue Tack over the daylight sensor would work.

Cheers

Jeff Cole Alice Springs, NT

CARRIED AWAY

Hi Stewart

After reading of the complaints in your magazine regarding Boris and his alleged bad vibes toward certain motorcycles and riders and other things, well I have been very happy with his column first up it balances

the magazine after reading the whole magazine and continually bumping into PT’s Shakespearisms it is great to finish up with Boris’s real motorcycle lingo (you know a dickhead is a dickhead, a wanker is a wanker etc). Secondly he is more right than left, I too enjoyed watching the likes of Rob Phillis, Grahame Crosby and the likes ripping it up on the big bad buggers like XS11, Kwaka’s 900, 1100 & 1300 and of course the mighty Suzuki GSX. Now these bikes really sorted the men from the boys. Watching all forms of motorcycle racing and seeing how pampered they are now on and off the track it makes you wonder would these pampered pussies have handled the wild ponies of yesteryear. Who can ever forget John Warrian, 5 and a half hour stint at the six hour or Cros waving to the crowd in the middle of a tank slapper at the bottom of Amaroo, sorry I got carried away back to Reality.

Remember it is the silent majority who read your magazine that really enjoy Boris.

Ian Gregory Regents Park

Hi Ian, too right. That’s one of the reasons we have Boris write a column for us. As for the bikes of yesteryear, my mate and I have a wild Period 5 Unlimited GSX1100 which has just over 150rwhp! It is a beast to ride, but also a bloody hand grenade as all of these front running bikes are :( I might have to do a story on it? What do you reckon?

Cheers, Stuart

Yes well Stuart it would be nice to

look and read about such machines made exotic by those who dabble, I have not found a gsx owner who was not sorry he sold his gsx. Unfortunately it takes time for a motorcycle to be noted for its soul, usually after they are sold. I used to listen to my uncles talking about the amount of Vincent 1000cc motors fl oating around in abundance after the war they were used on bench saws generators and other items. Now I would kill for a black shadow motor man that is a motor with SOUL balls and a big dick all in one and could orgasm its rider much quicker than any other motorcycle motor. Probably up there with Marylin Monroe for bringing its rider to a peak anyway now you know what you are looking for when you give your gsx a squirt if you achieve the above without a picture of Marylin on the tank then you will know that you have got the best out of the beast.

Good luck unleashing the beast

Ian Gregory

EVERYBODY MUST DO BETTER

Hi Stuart, I just love Boris; he is so right about taking personal responsibility for our actions and not blaming someone else all the time.

Many years ago in a bygone era VicRoads set up a rider training course for “L”s and “P”s and I was fortunate enough to be in the 1st intake. After talking to my students about road craft, riding skills etc I used to include in my presentation something along these lines - you are traveling along a normal road

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and a driver turns in front of you and you crash into the car. IT IS YOUR FAULT. No ifs and buts, IT IS YOUR FAULT because you did not take appropriate action to avoid the collision. What action, you ask? Well how about changing your position on the road, drift left to give you more room (buffer zone?), fl ash your light, slow down and if necessary STOP, yes STOP. Some people are just blind and I have stopped in the past. Other things you can do is watch the front wheel. If it is turning right outside the mudguard and rolling then the driver is about to go. As a rider you have anticipated this and all you have to do is slow down or stop (watching your mirrors for following traffi c). Another collision avoided! After all the talking and riding out on the range we would then do the required tests and then just one more warning about drivers and surviving. How many times have drivers pulled out in front of a train and been hit, is the question I ask, just a month ago it happened in Victoria near Geelong. I would then ask my students how big is a train, massive, big etc and how big is the train’s light, massive and big and someone still pulled out in front, what chance do you have on a tiny motorcycle??? Think about it and ride to survive. Boris, we have a fi ght on our hands and I call it the Great Aussie Way. The law says this, the regulations say this and all the millions of roadside signs say this and we Australians obey everything, so I am safe and I am always in the right, might be dead but I am always dead right. In the last 4 years my wife and I have been lucky enough to have spent a total of 5 months traveling around the UK and Europe on my Suzuki , I also have spent 6 weeks in South America on a BMW. The way overseas drivers drive is so different to Australia. I found it so much more relaxed as everyone was on the same team. They made allowances for mistakes and let you into the traffi c etc, unlike this country where no one gives a shit about anyone else. This country has a long way to go to lower the road toll and legislation and regulations including lower speed limits are not the way to go. How about some good old education via the TV and social media starting with the new fi ltering regulations, and just being plain nice to each other would be a good place to start. Also my wife says to teach the teachers to be a little more pro-active regarding defensive driving and riding, she has witnessed some bloody awful teaching standards. Stay upright

Anthony Morrison Cavendish VIC

Thanks, Anthony. I agree with you for the most part. And I’m not at all taken in by the lies told to us about the rising road toll. It is, in fact, pretty static year on year. That’s the price we pay for using our roads. Let’s just be grown up about it. But we can’t be. We have to be “Australian” about it. And that means abrogating responsibility for our actions on the road. As you say, what’s the point of being legal in the right if you’re dead? Ride well. Always - Boris D

NeWBiKeprices

New motorcycle prices go up, they go down. It can be hard to keep track of all the changes. Australian Motorcyclist Magazine supplies you with all the latest up to date prices

RS4 125

from all the manufacturers currently in the country. Things like special deals, cashbacks, factory discounts and bonuses are what you’ll find. Bear in mind

F 800 R

F 800 GT

S 1000 R

S 1000 RR

R nineT

R nineT Scrambler

R nineT Racer

R nineT Pure

R 1200 R

R 1200 RS

R 1200 RT

K 1300 R

all prices (unless indicated) exclude dealer and on road costs and some prices may have changed at the last minute as we went to the printer.

$13,100

$16,300

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$22,990

R 1200 GS

R 1200 GSA

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C 650 Sport

C 650 GT

$18,650

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$24,590

$14,150

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*All prices are ride away Road

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PGO

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PIAGGIO

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ROYAL eNFIeLD

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URAL

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VESPA

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Scooter

Primavera

VICTORY

www.victorymotorcycles.com.au

*All Victory prices are ride away crUISer

VIPER MOTORCYCLES

BEARFACED

TOUGH AS A HOG

You may recall that I told you about my H-D WLA Taxi Service, with five passengers in/on the Wallace & Knox delivery outfit that I was riding. The amazing thing about that is, as far as I know, what I was doing wasn’t even illegal – except for the passenger sitting on the rear mudguard, I guess. We were fun on wheels when we arrived at a party. But we did amazing things that were totally legal, too. One Saturday morning I got a call from Vince, the foreman. Could I come in? It seemed that the Mini van had a problem and couldn’t complete its run. Of course I could come in. I’d be getting time and a half. Saturday morning was a special time in the typesetting business. All through the week, we would be taking made-up advertisements, most of them full pages, to the newspaper printers. These were for the Sunday papers, which always carried staggering numbers of ads. The ads were fully made up, which means that the body type, headlines and images were locked into steel frames called formes, ready to be transferred to flongs, a kind of papier mache mould which was then used to cast the final type for printing. These were made during the week, and by Saturday morning the printers no longer needed our formes. They weren’t used in the actual printing, after all. So the Mini van would be despatched to collect all of the used formes to return them and the printer’s metal they held to the typesetter’s. Only in this case, the weight had been too much and the van had snapped its spine. The bikes were the

obvious alternatives, but Tom was not to be found. He’d been out in the country (something we were not supposed to do with the outfits), and when he came in on Monday he performed his usual little ritual. He whacked his extended left hand with his right and cried: “Smacks for Tom!”

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Maybe I could do the run in two or three goes, suggested Vince. Well, I thought, maybe I can. Let’s see.

The despatch bloke at the Sun-Herald was pretty keen to get all of the metal out of his loading dock. It was bad enough having to load the Mini and then unload it again when its belly suddenly headed for the ground. He wanted all that stuff out of there, and now. I looked at the potential load and worked out that it would only just fill the sidecar box, so I got him to help me slide the entire load aboard.

“You sure about this?” he asked when we were tucking the last few formes in. “Why?” I said.

“Well,” he replied, leaning over to read the weigbridge ticket, “the metal’s just over a tonne…”

“She’ll be right.” I said. After all, nobody had ever established permissible maximum load weight for the bike. Time to do that! The tubular frame of the sidecar looked immensely strong, and the fittings holding it to the bike would have held, at a guess, the average frigate. I will, however, admit that I wasn’t entirely sure the bike was going to make the trip… I still doubt that I would have got up much of any kind of hill, but if you went the right way there was no significant uphill section between the Sun-Herald and the northern end of Sussex Street. All you needed to do was

take a stretch of one-way road the wrong way, which was no problem with our invulnerability to the Law. This I did. WLAs have three gears, and I did not get out of first, but I made it. Mind you, if I’d hit a pothole with the sidecar wheel I’m pretty sure I would suddenly have been on a solo… even that monstrous frame would have given way.

I don’t know how it is with bicycle couriers these days, but in the late ‘60s we were mostly motorcycle-mounted and we had a lively social scene going. Tom and I were the only sidecar couriers, so everybody knew us and we joined happily in the drinks after work on a Friday that saw the courier population gather somewhere where you could park all the bikes. As often as not this was at the Vanity Fair, a small and then rather grungy pub on The corner of Goulburn and Albert streets in Surry Hills. Tall tales were told and friendships struck such as mine with Jan, a pleasant young woman who later went to teach in remote Aboriginal communities in the Northern Territory. Not my doing, I might say.

Jan was a vegetarian, so one evening we went to eat at a vego place in Liverpool Street. As luck would have it, there was a parking space in front of the restaurant so Jan backed her Honda, equipped with the traditional big box on the back, into the space and I tucked the outfit in next to it. When we crossed the restaurant threshold, the puzzled woman behind the counter said, “We haven’t got anything to pick up! Have we?”

The Wallace & Knox outfits are part of Sydney history now. I hope they’re not forgotten. Come to think of it, Redfern Motorcycle Spares has closed its squeaky corrugated iron door, too. I suppose I should be grateful that I’m still around. D

BORIS

MINIATURISED BOLLOCKS

I’m pleased that one of the more horrible motorcycle fads has passed. Remember those colourful camo cargo pants? The ones that made the wearer look like drunken clowns had vomited lollies up on his nethers. The ones that took the concept of camouflage to places it could never possibly go. The ones that made you want to transfer the wearer into a furnace, especially if he had artfully matched his colourful camos to his motorcycle’s paintjob. And yes, I’m looking at a whole bunch of Gixxer riders who are now shamefully pretending it was never them.

Yeah, well, that’s now mostly over. Though I did see one lone camo wolf still rocking them at the recent Melbourne Motorcycle Expo.

But the next wave of horror is probably even worse.

Best ye prepare, pilgrims!

The little motorcycles are coming. Put up your bastard hands if you think that riding one of those Honda Groms or Kwaka Pros is some sort of acceptable thing for grown men to do. Seriously? What’s wrong with you? Was your mum molested by clowns when she was pregnant with you? Was your daddy some cruel despot’s a court jester?

Look, I get the whole ‘motorcycle fun thing’. I have lived my whole life perfecting the whole ‘motorcycle fun thing’. I’m sure there is even photographic evidence of me debasing myself on a mini-bike at some drunken barbecue and slamming into the host’s pet cat.

Potato salad, cheap booze, and the fine company of my fellow drunks have always led me down reprehensible paths. Happily, my shame has been surrounded by superb fencing or followed by the disposal of witnesses, and thus it has remained relatively private. As it should.

But this toy motorcycle thing that has come upon us in the form of the Grom and the Pro is a shame from which we may never recover as a species.

Let me just clarify something before we go any further. I’m sure that both these toy motorcycles are well-made. I’m sure they both do what they are intended to do – which is a) to transport smaller-statured third-world people around their crowded urban environments; and b) amuse folks who enjoy seeing tame lemurs in pants riding them around inside a circus tent.

And that’s fine.

But it is not fine that grown motorcycle men (who are not drunk or have not lost a bet) seem to wish to be seen in public astride one of these things.

By all means ride one around your mate’s backyard. Ride it into his pool. Fill yourself with rum, smoke a bag of dope, tell your girlfriend to hold your beer and try jumping one over a barbecue. Hilarious fun.

But riding one for real, as a worthwhile form of transport in an Australian city?

What part of your brain has ceased to function?

People have told me, when I have asked why they ride them, that it is ‘fun’.

They are lying. Buzzing along at truck-axle height on a clown’s motorised sight-gag cannot, on any planet, be fun.

The Vietnamese communists in Hanoi do not ride these things for fun. They ride them because their socioeconomic circumstances deny them the dignity of riding proper motorcycles.

The Indonesian land-grabbers are not at all amused having to thread their Groms through the terrifying streets of Jakarta, but it’s not like any of them can afford to commute on a Harley.

Then there is the ‘cute’ argument. ‘Cute’ is a pretty girl in a bikini riding her scooter to the beach.

A grown man idling through traffic on a Z125 Pro is not cute. Not even if he does his nails and waxes his legs. The people who are smiling at him are smiling at him the same way they smile at malnourished bears dancing in

Romanian villages while gypsies beat them with whips – with pity and helplessness.

It’s the same way I smile at those bearded women who ride Deus Ex Machina stuff.

So it’s not cute and it’s not fun.

But is it cool?

Shut up.

Do you think a square-wheeled pushbike being pedalled through a village fair by a bloke with a big red nose is cool?

Cool is a lot of things to a lot of people, and motorcycles are, on general principles, cool (unless you fit a top-box to them or belong to HOG or Ulysses), but we must remember that neither the Grom or the Pro are real motorcycles.

It’s like a Chihuahua is not a real dog. It’s just a shrunken, misshapen, approximation of a dog some tequilasodden Mexican drug-baron had bred because his crazy teenage wife might enjoy carrying it in her handbag when she was out shopping for stolen American jewellery.

So by all means buy one. Or three. Invite your mates over and race them around your suburb late at night, high on meth and bathed in the light of the Supermoon.

But don’t ever pretend they are anything other than silly gimmicks best ridden by trained koalas in some new Gold Coast theme park. D

AMM JANUARY 2017

EICMA / MONSTER 1200

R / R NINET

SCRAMBLER / HILL END / CONTI TYRES / TRAVEL OPERATORS