Australian Motorcyclist Issue #36

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BMW Motorrad

bmwmotorrad.com.au

The Ultimate Riding Machine

Gran Turismo – or Grand Touring – is all about high speed, instant acceleration, and total comfort over long distances. The BMW K 1600 GT and K 1600 GTL make this vision reality. The most compact in-line six-cylinder engine ever seen in a production motorcycle delivers its output of 160 hp (118 kW) and 175 Nm of torque with an irresistible blend of brute force and refinement.

BMW’s superb range of touring motorcycles also includes the water-cooled boxer R 1200 RT and the mid-sized twin F 800 GT. Book a test ride at your BMW Motorrad dealer or bmwmotorrad.com.au

BMW K 1600 GTL BMW K 1600 GT Ride Away $34,990* Ride Away $32,990*

BMW R 1200 RT BMW F 800 GT Ride Away $29,990* Ride Away $17,490*

*2015-plated models only, 8 January - 31 March 2016. Terms and Conditions apply, see bmwmotorrad.com.au/rideaway2015

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CONTENTS 99

MOTORCYCLIST NZ TOUR It’s not too late to sign up for the tour of the year

AND THE REST

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EDITORIAL Whom is he going to offend this time?

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GRIZZLING And what weirdness has The Bear found now?

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NEW HELMET LAW How about a nice European model, Sir?

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VOZZ HELMET LAUNCH A new direction in helmets, and it’s Aussie NEWS All the news that’s interesting. Well, kinda APPS FOR RIDING Yes, there is an app for that.

We check them out

BEAR ARMY MANOEUVRES What’s going on in our paramilitary wing?

NEW IN THE SHOPS More ways of spending your hard-earned

BACK COPIES Priceless words of wisdom from yesterday CLASSIC MORRIS Lester delves into more technology of yesterday WHAT SAY YOU? Wisdom, worries and whatnot from you PRICE LIST Can you afford it? These days, probably yes!

ADVERTISER LISTING Who loves ya, baby?

FROM THE CAVE Tall tales and true from the road BORIS He is not happy. Not at all

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BEIJING TAXIS Chinese cabs are basic, but they work just fine

BOOK REVIEW I’m pretty sure I don’t know about this one

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82 89 95

100 102 105 109 112 113 114

SUPERCARS VERSUS A 'SUPER' BIKE - WHICH ONE WINS? PAGE 30

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Australian Motorcyclist Magazine

Australian Motorcyclist Magazine

@AusMotrCyclist

PLEASE ENJOY AUSTRALIAN MOTORCYCLIST MAGAZINE RESPONSIBLY AND ADD THIS ISSUE TO YOUR COLLECTION. ALL BACK ISSUES ARE STILL AVAILABLE; JUST VISIT THE WEBSITE WWW.AUSMOTORCYCLIST. COM.AU OR DROP US A LINE TO CONTACTUS@AUSMOTORCYCLIST.COM.AU. AND HAVE FUN. 6

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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EDITOR SPEAKS

what’s he blabbing on about now?

Editor Stuart Woodbury Editor Emeritus J Peter Thoeming Sales Manager Terri Dodd advertise@ausmotorcyclist.com.au Designer Amy Hale Photo Editor Nick Wood Photographers Cain Maitland, Nick Wood Contributors Robert Crick, Mike Grant, Jacqui Kennedy, Robert Lovas, Phil Gadd, Boris Mihailovic, Lester Morris, The Possum,Guy Stanford, Stuart Strickland, Michael Walley, Colin Whelan Editorial contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com.au Subscription enquiries www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au info@ausmotorcyclist.com.au 0412 220 680 or 0418 421 322 Printer PRINTED IN AUSTRALIA Distributor Network Services Australian Motorcyclist Magazine is published by Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111 Phone 0412 220 680 or 0418 421 322.

This publication is copyright. Other than for the purposes of research, study, criticism, review, parody or satire and subject to the conditions prescribed under the Copyright Act 1968, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted without the prior written permission of Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. Opinions expressed within this publication do not necessarily represent those of Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. No responsibility is accepted by Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd or the editor for the accuracy of any statement, opinion or advice contained in the text or advertisements. Readers should rely on their own enquiries in making decisions tailored to their own interest. *Recommended retail price Copyright © Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd ACN 161 432 506 ISSN 2201-5442

We encourage you to keep or recycle this magazine.

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A

s I write this month’s editorial it is just before Christmas and the only time off I’ve had this year. Yep, deadlines don’t wait for anyone and someone has to keep the train moving. I’m not complaining in any way, shape or form, just thought you’d like to know that I am actually having a week off. And that brings me to a “sorry”, in case I didn’t reply to anyone’s emails over the Xmas to New Year’s ‘week’, because I won’t be touching my phone the entire time.

Yes, for many in this fast paced day and age that is a hard thing to do, but I am strong and determined.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Year’s, you ate lots, got fat, had a great time with family and friends, and enjoyed a couple of ‘sherbets’. However, the main thing we motorcyclists should have been doing over the break is getting out for a ride, no matter how short or how long that was. I hope to at least be going out for a short blast to Wisemans Ferry for a coffee on the Yamaha MT-07 with my father, riding his Honda Crossrunner. I really do enjoy the MT-07 it brings a smile to my face every time I ride it.

In our last issue you will have read about the new bikes coming for 2016. Do you have any that take your fancy? I certainly do – the Yamaha XSR900. I like the MT-09 it is based on, yet with the XSR’s retro looks I think this could be my next bike. All depends on the Minister for Finances and whether the application form gets stamped with approval – let’s wait and see.

The Bear? Well, he’s taking a couple of weeks off and visiting family over in the West. A welldeserved break for the old fella (LOL!). Actually, ever since he

passed over the reins to me, he has been working harder than ever, but he has also been enjoying himself more and I’m sure you’ve seen this in everything he’s written for you this past year.

After my last editorial, Chris Burns from the Motorcycle Council of NSW contacted me and is looking forward to working with us in the coming year – show some support and spread the word when you see various bits of info from them in these pages or on our website, or in social media pages.

So what does 2016 hold for Australian Motorcyclist? We have more touring and of course all the new bikes to ride and report to you. But we also have quite a few things in the pipeline that will make your reading even more enjoyable.

We might not make a big song and dance about them… but then again, maybe we will with a couple.

Both you and we will have to wait and see.

Enjoy!

Cheers, Stuart.

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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ALL NEW

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FROM THE BEAR

GRIZZLING

Isn’t this a wonderful picture? When I asked Stuart, who found it somewhere, when he thought it might have been taken he displayed his youth and ignorance as usual and said “1879”.

What do you think?

IS DOWN UNDER DIFFERENT?

Here’s a question that’s been in the back of my mind for quite a while. Now if you were in the mess that I call the back of my mind, you’d want to get out, and so it is with this question. It is: are we Aussies (and Kiwis*, I suppose) really different from Poms and Yanks? I know the language isn’t exactly the same, but both seem to be able to understand me when I speak loudly and slowly enough.

Are there other, deeper differences?

And of course, as you might have suspected, I have a couple of these in mind. They might both seem like small things, but they point to quite major differences.

In Europe, business executives quite often have their home telephone number printed on their business card, along with all their work details. Can you imagine anyone in Australia doing that?

And when they get telephones, the Kiwis won’t be doing it either. When they get printing.

And here’s another one. I was on a Beach’s motorcycle tour when the subject of cigarette machines came up in conversation. If you’ve been to Europe you will have seen them – coin operated, they stand all on their own along roads in the city and the country.

“Don’t people break into them?” asked one of our fellow riders.

“It’s funny,” said Rob Beach. “Only Australians or New Zealanders ever ask that. I’m sure none of them would dream of doing anything like that, but they are the only ones who think of it.”

Of course it’s possible that people of other nationalities think of it and file it away for future crow bar action, while we innocent Antipodeans just ask the question. But I don’t know…

What do you think about either of these mini-mysteries? Drop me a line at thebear@ausmotorcyclist.com.au .

OVER THE WAVES

Radio waves, that is. Chris Smith on Sydney’s Macquarie Broadcasting station 2GB asked me to come along and

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have a chat about bikes. Chris is a very keen rider and has just invested in a BMW R nineT, which also happens to be one of my current favourites.

I’ve done a bit of radio before; apart from flogging one or another of my books on the ABC, I used to have a 15 minute spot on what was then Double Jay while I was travelling around the world; I sent back cassettes from the road.

No, look, seriously, I don’t know what this is about. The photo comes from somewhere in the Southern Highlands of NSW and I believe there are people down there who raise pigs… but I’m not so sure that they take them out in the long paddock. I mean, I’ve heard of cow cockies and sheep cockies, even wheat cockies – but hog cockies? What’s that? It might mean something different entirely? What could that be?

The talk on 2GB went well; I answered a couple of listener questions and Chris and I covered a remarkable amount of territory in just a few minutes. Now it looks as if I’ll be invited

back, so you might like to keep an eye on our Facebook site where I’ll announce the talk each time.

Here’s talkin’atcha!

SHOCK RESULT

Over the weekend I fitted a Kuryakyn cigarette lighter to the Sportster, as one does. No, I don’t smoke; the idea is to use it as a power socket. You’ll read about it in our Long Termers pages, soon. The lighter assembly is a beautiful design with the deep chrome we have come to expect from the Americans.

Now, I added a power connector to the bike’s battery recently so that I can charge it without pulling the battery out.

The connector is the standard American one: a metal plug (male) and a plastic socket (female) next to each other. I thought I’d use the same connection for the cigarette lighter.

When I had crimped the wires and worked out a way to hide them satisfactorily, I realised that I’d better take the opportunity to charge the battery. I jacked in the plug/socket from the charger and went off to get on with other stuff, like washing the car.

Imagine my surprise when I returned a few hours later and found that the battery was still flat.

Those connectors are identical, you see, and I had jacked the charger into the wires that lead to the lighter – not the battery. Ah! So that’s why most countries use male and female sockets that are different!

What was that about an intelligence test to work on electrics.

Peter ‘The Bear’ Thoeming

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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For more info call (03) 5729 5529 www.touratech.com.au AMM_Jan_layout.indd 13

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HELMETS

WISDOM WINS OUT CONGRATULATIONS, MCC OF NSW WORDS / PHOTOS THE BEAR

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fter so many years of beating their heads against brick walls, the folk from the MCC of NSW must be wondering if they’re dreaming. Hot on the heels of the filtering law, we now have a significant change in the way helmets are assessed. Just to make sure there is no misinterpretation, I’m giving you the main body of the revision to NSW legislation in its complete form.

The ACT has also just changed its laws to allow ECE approved helmets.

According to the new Road Amendment (Approved Motor Bike Helmet) Rule 2015, an approved helmet is one: that complies with any one or more of the following standards and has an identifying mark certifying compliance with that standard: (a) Australian/New Zealand Standard AS/NZS 1698:2006, Protective helmets for vehicle users (AS/NZS 1698), (b) in the case of a helmet manufactured in Australia—the version of AS/NZS 1698 or Australian Standard AS 1698—1988, Protective helmets for vehicle users (AS 1698—1988) that was in force at the time the helmet was manufactured, or any later version of AS/NZS 1698 or AS 1698—1988, (c)in the case of a helmet imported into Australia—the version of AS/NZS 1698 or AS 1698—1988 that was in force at the time the helmet was imported, or any later version of AS/NZS 1698 or AS 1698—1988, (d) United Nations Economic Commission for Europe Regulation No 22 Uniform Provisions Concerning the Approval of Protective Helmets and their

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Visors for Drivers and Passengers of Motor Cycles and Mopeds Revision 4 of 24 September 2002 (UNECE22.05) and any further amendments to UNECE22.05 approved and published by the United Nations Economic Commission for Europe, or any later version of UNECE22.05.

I gather that Stuart’s recent editorial ruffled a few feathers out there, but in this case I can honestly and unreservedly say congratulations to Guy Stanford, Chris Burns and all the other members of the MCC of NSW who worked so hard, so long to achieve this and other successes with the State government. We can only hope that the rest of Australia will follow suit. 

European-approved helmets, anyone? At least nobody could say that they didn’t see one of these!

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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THE RIDES YOU’VE DREAMED ABOUT WON’T TAKE THEMSELVES (But they could happen without you!)

STURGIS BIKE WEEK

BEST of the WEST

Guided Tour • 7-14 August 2016 • 12 Ride Days

Guided Tour • 20 Aug. - 4 Sep. 2016 • 14 Ride Days

It’s not just Bike Week! Meet us in Las Vegas and spend twelve days riding through some of the most spectacular scenery in the American West. Feel the wind in your face and the steady rumble of your iron horse beneath you. Each day the thunder builds, until you join over 500,000 of your new friends in Sturgis. Don’t miss the biggest motorcycle event on Planert Earth space is limited!

Best of the West was over a year in the making - in collaboration with Peter “The Bear” Thoeming, Editor of Australian Motorcyclist Magazine. Together we created a once-in-a-lifetime motorcycling experience.

We had a great run in 2015 - read all about the Bear’s journey with us in the December 2015 issue. It’s a fantastic ride that will be even better in 2016 and you’re invited!

Our adventure starts and ends in Los Angeles and includes Grand Canyon, Capitol Reef, Bryce Canyon, Zion, Joshua Tree, Death Valley, Yosemite, Kings Canyon and Sequoia National Parks.

You’ll see the lowest AND the highest elevations in the US – 282’ (86m) below sea level in Death Valley to 14,505' (4,421·m) at Mt. Whitney. Plus a very special tour of Monument Valley, two nights in Las Vegas, Route 66, the Pacific Coast and much more.

Fourteen days of riding and memories to last a lifetime!

Route 66 Guided Tours 3-18 June 2016 • 14 Ride Days 14 Oct. - 1 Nov. 2016 • 17 Ride Days On Route 66, the magic is in the stops, the local history and the folks you'll meet along the way. Immerse yourself in a view of America that’s not much changed since the last century. We ride from the heart of the American midwest in Chicago to the Pacific in Los Angeles. Don’t get left behind!

Guided Tours • The best "no worries" Holiday available!

Small groups, relaxed style and great roads every day. Includes motorcycle hire, fuel, lodging, many meals, chase vehicle and an experienced staff.

Self-Guided Tours • Your adventure, built on our experience.

Road Trip Auto Tours • For non-riding Family & Friends Motorcycle Hire • Competitive rates, round trip or one-way.

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Great American Touring

www.gamct.com

800.727.3390 0011.1.440.349.1201 Int’l

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HELMETS

Getting Yours

FACE FIRST VOZZ UP? WELL, THE NEW VOZZ LID SOLVES EVERYTHING YOU HATE ABOUT HELMETS, SAYS TERRI DODD

T

his is simply a “face first” helmet. It consists of two cleverly designed and hinged shell sections which let you put your face into the front of the helmet and then close the rear section behind you. The VOZZ helmet is a staggering achievement for an Australian company, and is a distinctly clever device!

Here’s how it works. You just sit the helmet on your head, then click the rear of the helmet open using two firm levers that unlock it. Then you ROLL your face into the helmet until your chin fits snugly against the custom-fit chin cup.

Reach up behind and click the rear flap section closed. Voila! The helmet surrounds your head.

In one swell swoop, VOZZ has saved your ears from torture each time you put on and pull off your helmet. You can put on and remove it while wearing gloves, and you don’t have to fiddle with

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a chinstrap. It doesn’t need one because with the front and rear sections closed, the mechanism locks the helmet to your head. It is effectively impossible for the helmet to spring open while riding or due to impact from a crash. “These locks are very important and have taken years to develop”, says VOZZ’s Mark Bryant. “There is no way the lock can jump off the rear spigot, in fact, the shell will fail before the locks will.”

There is a French helmet that was never sold in Australia which works in a similar fashion, except the hinged sections are below rather than at the back of the helmet, but this solution looks far more elegant. The VOZZ Helmet has passed all the stringent helmet certification tests, including penetration tests, and is on the way to worldwide certification. In Australia it will cost $888.

VOZZ has not invented any new materials to make the helmet as tough as it is; the front shell is carbon, Kevlar and fiberglass and the rear shell is injection moulded, but by early 2017 VOZZ expects to offer a fully composite helmet which will be 100 grams lighter.

The EPS shell is curved so it touches all of your head; the helmet will not lift at speed; the visor does not let air in or lift at speed. Because of the way the helmet fits around your chin, your chin is not exposed in a crash.

If you do crash wearing a VOZZ, it is a simple job to detach the front of the helmet by removing two plugs and using a small flat-blade screwdriver to

The helmet will be available for test riding and purchase from the VOZZ Helmets showroom, Building 3, 49 Frenchs Forest Road East, Frenchs Forest NSW 2086.

By the time you read this, the helmet will also be available for purchase online at www.vozzhelmets.com.

For more information, contact Mark Bryant on 0420 763 223 or at markbryant@voztec.com

leave the rear shell supporting the victim’s head. Paul Riley from Skillmaster, a paramedic trainer, and Ken Lovegrove from MARI (Motorcycle Accident Rehabilitation Initiative), have been trialing prototype VOZZ helmets and both say this is a major safety point.

We reptiles of the press were invited to Sydney Motosport Park to try the helmet. John from VOZZ patiently custom-fitted every helmet by using a few screws – and when you go to the retailer to buy your own, the staff will have been trained how to do this simple but important process. Once adjusted properly, the helmet fits firmly, but is not tight. I have never worn a helmet that fits as well as this.

The VOZZ is slightly heavier than my current helmet at 1780 grams, but it doesn’t feel heavy once it’s on. It was a stinking hot day, but the front and top vents worked well. There’s also outstanding peripheral vision. Before the session on my v-twin, open exhaust boomer, I forgot to put in the earplugs. I didn’t realise that until I got back; this is a very quiet helmet. And good riddance to the chin-strap! 

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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NEWS

MORE COMMON SENSE ECE helmets legal As from the 11th of December 2015, ECE approved helmets are now legal in NSW and the ACT. This follows on from the recent legalisation of ECE helmets in Qld, Vic and NT. What does this mean for those living in NSW, ACT, Qld, Vic and NT? A much wider choice of helmets, since brands like Schuberth and Roof will now be able to be worn legally. Common sense has once again hit the State governments. What next?!

BAD SANTA Last seen heading west Santa has done his work for another

year and was last seen heading out west somewhere and by the looks of his ride, he’s become an outlaw. Does this mean he’ll not be able to deliver the presents next year for fear of reprimand? He better snap out of it!

ARE YOU READY FOR ADVENTURE? KTM Australia Adventure Rallye What better way than with an epic five days in the saddle on your KTM Adventure bike at the KTM Australia Adventure Rallye from March 6th to 11th 2016 in the Snowy Mountains.

The original limit of 100 participants

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has been increased to 150. Open to Orange Adventure Riders with the following eligible KTM bikes: 640, 690, 950, 990, 1050, 1190, 1190R and 1290 SA models. The bikes must also have knobby tyres and a minimum 250km fuel range.

The $695 Rallye fee not only includes five days adventure riding in the stunning Snowy Mountains, but also GPS files, lead riders and course markers, tyre, medic and tech support, a backup vehicle and sweep riders, dinner included every night, a KTM goody bag with t-shirt, buff, sticker and more, an event DVD featuring all the Rallye highlights and the chance to ride with KTM riders including Ben Grabham and Jeff Leisk. Visit www. ktm.com.au for more information.

UNIFORMED ‘DRAGGINS’ Desmo Ducati Team Being ready for anything in the pits, especially that silly racer who might run

you over is just one of the things any crewman needs to watch out for. Being dressed in the best from Draggin Jeans helps, a lot! Troy Bayliss’ new Desmo Ducati Team will be decked out in Draggin uniforms for the upcoming 2016 ASBK series – nice!

TRIBUTE TO TYRES 2016 Metzeler calendar Titled “Take the Road” the 2016 Metzeler calendar celebrates motorcycling and its history in the world of cinema through a series of shots from past and present films. After all Metzeler was founded at much the same time as the motorcycle was created, in the late 19th century.

Now in its 23rd edition, the iconic calendar includes two versions, the Classic and the Contemporary, offering the tyre and history enthusiast the opportunity to choose from images predominantly in black and white, evoking legendary films that have contributed to the history of cinema.

The Metzeler calendar has always been a cult object for collectors but this year, for the first time, the tyre brand has decided to make it accessible to those who want a copy to hang on the wall.

Thanks to an exclusive partnership with Ace Cafe London, the 2016 Metzeler calendar will be available to buy. Mind you, only be a hundred copies will be

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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5

es 10 tim

in a ro

w

Sambia · Art: 2163

Short Race · Art: 2023

Desert · Art: 2151

Air n Dry · Art: 2242

Sixty Six · Art: 6245

Sakari · Art: 9381

Carese II · Art: 6450

Harvey 76 · Art: 5424

Carry-bag · Art: 4331

www.heldaustralia.com.au

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Email: info@heldaustralia.com.au

22/12/2015 7:24 am

NEWS

made available, directly from the legendary and iconic English cafe’s website using the following link: www.acecafeshop.com/products/615 .

Can we have a look at yours if you get one?

POUR FUEL ON THE FIRE Victory Combustion concept Victory Motorcycles revealed the final instalment in its 1200cc concept series at the International Motorcycle Show in New York City. This concept, called “Combustion,” is powered by the production version of the engine that made its debut last month at EICMA in

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Milan. It was built by Zach Ness of Arlen Ness Motorcycles in Dublin, California.

This Ness concept follows the Milan, Italy EICMA reveal of a concept bike built by Urs Erbacher of Switzerland.

His concept bike known as “Ignition” took the first pre-production engine and wrapped it in an aggressive sportsbikeinspired stance intended to satisfy the demands of European riders.

Both the Ignition Concept and the Combustion Concept are propelled by an engine intended to go into production. It will power a new model Victory motorcycle to be revealed in

2016. The Engine is a 1200cc liquid cooled 60 degree V-twin design with four valves per cylinder that is intended to deliver the kind of engine performance that even enthusiast riders find exhilarating. We can’t wait to see to the new model in the flesh and experience the new engine!

UPMARKET VESPA Emporio Armani 946 The Bear was lucky enough to get one the first Vespa 946 scoots last year and now, Vespa has released the Emporio Armani version. Painted in matt black with dark brown leather seat and grips, this is another collector’s piece. Get in quickly to secure yours. There are only a select few coming, so hurry! Not only will you be riding in absolute style, you’ll be sitting on an appreciating asset. 

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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EXPERIENCE MOROCCO SPAIN | MOROCCO | GIBRALTAR AT A GLANCE

START/FINISH: Málaga NEAREST AIRPORT: Málaga DURATION: 15 days vacation, 13 riding days ROUTE: Total distance 1710 - 1890 miles (2750 - 3040 km). Daily rides 60 - 250 miles (100 - 400 km). The entire route runs on good asphalt roads, mostly in good condition.

ACCOMMODATIONS: Comfortable middleclass and luxury hotels and kasbahs.

REST DAYS: Marrakech, Erfoud, Fes

TOUR DATES

TOUR GRADING

2016

HIGHLIGHTS

ROUTE: intermediate HOURS: 7 to 9 h

Mar 25 - Apr 08 Apr 09 - 23 Oct 29 - Nov 12

SP A IN

★ Gibraltar ★ Casablanca ★ Marrakech ★ oriental bazaars ★ Fes ★ Erg Chebbi ★ Todgha Gorge (Gorges du Todra) ★ Dadès Gorges (Gorges du Dadès)

MÁLAGA

Gibraltar CEUTA Rif Mountains CHEFCHAOUEN

Atlantic Ocean

Moulay Bousselham

Tazekka National Park

Ouazzane

RABAT

FES

Casablanca Ifrane

Dadès Gorges MARRAKECH

Oukaïmeden

Todgha Gorge

Tizi n'Tichka BOUMALNE DADES OUARZAZATE

MOROCCO

Great Riding ERFOUD

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A LG ER IA

FOLLOW US

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FOR DETAILS, INCLUDING PRICES AND SERVICES, PLEASE VISIT OUR WEBSITE www.edelweissbike.com, SEND US AN E-MAIL AT worldtours@edelweissbike.com OR CALL +43.5264.5690

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LAUNCH

Stuart is wearing a Shoei NXR helmet, Berik defence race suit, Knox back protector, Held Titan gloves and Berik GPX 2.0 boots.

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www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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KAWASAKI ZX-10R

HULK NUMBER ONE! WORDS STUART WOODBURY PHOTOS KEITH MUIR

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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LAUNCH

1 22

2

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LAUNCH

Park and not one has been as fast accelerating out of turns as this bike.

As with all of the new bikes, electronics play a big part in helping the rider to be as fast as possible.

Whereas the previous model had three levels of traction control, there are now five. Compared with the old bike, levels 1 and 2 are more race orientated, whereas level 3 would have equalled level 1 on the old model. Level 4 is equivalent to level 2 and level 5 equals level 3. I ended up on Level 1 and with the Engine Braking Control off. This allowed the ZX-10R to turn in as fast as

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I liked, in fact making it feel like a 600 supersport bike to ride.

The new ZX-10R also features a sophisticated Inertial Measurement Unit (IMU). Developed with Bosch, the IMU measures more parameters than you might have thought possible. How this relates to riding the bike is that it allows maximum acceleration. It does not cut the power when the front wheel gets to a certain point off the ground. The IMU is also so sophisticated that rather than measuring itself against a horizontal plane like some units, it can take into account corner camber, gradient and

so on and adapt accordingly. It also adjusts automatically for – wait for it tyre wear, different tyre profiles, high grip tyres like racing slicks and all sorts of other amazing parameters that result in a seamlessly smooth, yet blindingly fast motorcycle.

For racers there is launch control. The quickshifter which is only for upshifts in standard trim can be used for clutchless downshifts with the race kit ECU. Speaking of the race kit parts, you can purchase an array of race only bits and pieces to make the ZX-10R even faster again.

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EVENT Clockwise from top: The winner, Briggsey Bear, checks out the view at what looks like an opencut mine. / A special mention and the Best Photoshop award went to Bossy Bear. / Felix the Foster Bear got a start in a highly promising career.

• • • • •

A 12 month subscription to Australian Motorcyclist Magazine.

An Advanced Course from Stay Upright A voucher for a pair of Draggin Jeans A voucher for $100 from Deus Ex Machina A voucher for $150 from Motorcycle Accessories Supermarket.

Second best photo goes to Felix the Foster Bear. The prize pack is: •

SWEET CHARITY

BEARS HAVE BEEN OUT THERE RAISING CASH FOR KIDS

A

ll right, you can start kicking yourself right now. You missed one of the most enjoyable events of 2015: the Bear Ride. The concept was simple.

You bought a stuffed bear (no smart comments) from Survive the Ride (www. survivetheride.org) in NSW and then took it out for some rides, raising money for the Children’s Hospital as you went.

Photos from the rides, submitted to Survive the Ride, were then judged by the kids at the hospital. The winners scored a pack of goodies (see below) and the bears were distributed among the

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sick children. A big thanks to all the Bear Ride teams for an outstanding effort to raise just over $15,000 in the first year of the Bear Ride.

How’s that for a win-win! I suggest keeping an eye on the Survive the Ride website and these pages; we’ll let you know as soon as the 2016 event rolls around. Meanwhile, here are the winning bears and the packs of goodies.

• • •

And the biggest overall donation was from Hairold Bear - the team raised a stunning $4,105.00. Their prize pack is: • • •

The best photo chosen by the kids at The Children’s Hospital at Westmead goes to Briggsey Bear.

The prize pack is:

A 12 month subscription to Australian Motorcyclist Magazine.

A voucher for a pair of Draggin Jeans A voucher for $100 from Deus Ex Machina A voucher for $75 from Motorcycle Accessories Supermarket.

A 12 month subscription to Australian Motorcyclist Magazine A voucher for $100 from Deus Ex Machina A voucher for $50 from Motorcycle Accessories Supermarket.

Set up a team now and be ready for the off! PT 

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N SYSTEM

VENTILATIO

LEG

BACK

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D-STORMER D-DRY® Adventure and boundless spaces: what the D-Stormer was designed for. With incredible versatility, this jacket can be used in extreme heat just as in intense cold: the modular construction that allows you to remove the thermal lining and waterproof and breathable membrane D-Dry®, are combined with an innovative ventilation system, which provides a modular control of airflow on the back, combined with ample ventilation on the chest and arms.

Characterized by a look inspired by the world of rally, with many adjustments and pockets, D-Stormer will be the perfect companion on longer trips just as between the curves of the Alpine passes. D-Stormer is for use with Teren D-Dry® pants and D-System Evo D-Dry®.

AUSTRALIA Cassons Pty Ltd P: +61(0)2 8882 1900 F: +61(0)2 8882 1999 E: enquiries@cassons.com.au W: www.cassons.com.au NEW ZEALAND Northern Accessories Ltd- New Zealand E: sales@northacc.co.nz W: www.northern.co.nz

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Carbon fibre Fibreglass

A LIGHTER, SAFER FIBRE HELMET K-5 is the most recent innovation in the AGV Extreme Standards line of helmets and sets a new standard for AGV sports and road helmets.

The outer shell is made entirely from fibreglass and carbon fibre to achieve maximum strength from a truly lightweight helmet.

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29/04/2015 11:50:27 AM 29/12/2015 4:59 pm

TRAVEL FAVOURITES - NORTH

NORWAY MY WAY

ROAR WITH THE WAVES OR CLIMB WITH THE TROLLS WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR

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S

omebody asked me the other day what my favourite overseas motorcycling destination is. I’m no good at this ’favourite’ stuff; if you asked me about my favourite song, or food, or even colour you’d get a different answer each time. But it got me thinking; if I had a free choice (which is not always so in my job), where would I go, and why?

The interesting part of this question is that word ‘favourite’; in other words, which destination would I like to visit

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again? I have several places on my bucket list, but they’re all new ones – Cuba (which I’m going to see shortly); Canada; Brazil, Iceland… the list of the places I’d like to visit goes on. But where would I like to go back to?

This list isn’t exactly short, either. Italy, France, Germany, the USA… New Zealand, of course. But choosing a favourite is hard. Given, as I’ve said above, that I’m likely to change my mind at some time, let me nominate… Norway.

This is not just about the fact that I like the many varieties of pickled herring, either. Although I do. Blame my Nordic ancestry. It could be the scenery, the people, the weather – I’ve generally been lucky with the weather when I’ve been there – but most of all it’s the roads. Norway has lots of money, mostly from North Sea oil, and the government is not reluctant to use it for road and tunnel building. That means excellent main roads, on the one hand, and

“

Even the approach to the Storseisundet Bridge on the Atlantic Road is special!

”

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TRAVEL FAVOURITES - NORTH The road itself is in superb shape, and even the weather smiled on us.

twisting old secondary roads which have been superseded by tunnels and are now almost without traffic – although the surface on some of these can be a bit rough. Above all, the Norwegian government understands the attraction of great roads.

In Australia we really only have three roads which are acknowledged by their respective governments as both particular scenic destinations and interesting roads: The Great Ocean Road, the Great Alpine Road and the Captain Cook Highway*. None of them, however, was built with this in mind.

The GOR was a work project for the unemployed; the GAR was cobbled together from existing roads to capitalise on the GOR’s fame; and the Captain Cook wasn’t any kind of special project either. This is not to diss Australian roads, just the short-sightedness of governments which ignore the tourist potential of great roads that we have, for riders – and drivers.

Like the USA, Norway has quite a network of wonderful roads. Actually, I shouldn’t suggest that the USA has a network – there are only 25 ‘All American Roads’, and they’re scattered

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Trollstigen, the Troll’s Path, is the older of these roads. The original track was completed by the locals in 1891 but was little more than a footpath. Between 1905 and 1913 this was improved to the point where horses and riders could use it. Upgrading this bridlepath further meant much more than just carving a passage out of the near-vertical rock, although it did mean that, too.

Bridges had to be built on the various approaches, and feeder roads constructed. In 1936, the King of Norway finally opened and named the Trollstigen road. It has been

upgraded consistently since then, with the most recent major work finishing in 2005. Usually the road is open from mid-May to October. Check with one of the local tourist offices or see www. vegvesen.no before you go; even if it isn’t open, it’s worth taking a look from the upper viewing platforms with their rusty walls. There is a nicely designed tourist centre up there, too. Just remember that the trolls, according to locals, do not like the piles of rock you will see everywhere up there. It’s just as well, as one Norwegian friend told me, that trolls don’t exist.

In a country which has difficult terrain at the best of times, Trollstigen was a particular challenge. The Geiranger valley from which it rises is a typical glacial landscape, and the steep part of the road has to climb pretty much vertical rock to some 850 metres above sea level. Most people call this Trollstigen, but in fact that’s the name of the whole road, which runs about 100km from Lake Langvatnet to Andalsnes. This steep section with its 11 hairpins is actually called the Eagle Road, or Ornevegen. Eleven hairpins doesn’t in fact sound like all that many, but there are more corners.

Many more corners.

Contrary to what you will read in many descriptions of Trollstigen (or Ornevegen), it isn’t dangerous. The road surface is in good condition and there is no problem with ice or snow on the road; if either of them is present, the road is closed. As long as you take the same care as you normally would on a narrow mountain road, you should be fine.

Don’t get distracted by the scenery: Stigfossen, the powerful waterfall that thunders down 320 metres right past the road, is enough to get anyone’s attention.

I promise you that you will not forget riding Trollstigen. The combination of landscape, road and history makes Trollvegen/Ornevegen a shoo-in for any motorcyclist’s bucket list.

This stone slab on one of the islands carries on the Nordic tradition of carved memorial stones.

Stigfossen, the waterfall that crashes down the mountain within reach of the road.

all over the continent. Norway is smaller, and the roads are closer together and even connect at times; you can travel on seriously scenic roads for long distances.

But even so, not many of the other roads even in Norway can match the Atlantic Road or Trollstigen.

Just a quick note for our internetaddicted readers: when you look up these roads on Google, you will find that both are included in more than one “most dangerous roads of the world” listing. This is nonsense. Any even moderately competent rider can tackle either of them successfully. I managed it, after all…

Having said that, though, I have to admit that there would be times where I would be reluctant to take on the Atlantic Road. See below for details.

ROCKS ‘N’ ROLL

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ROAR OF THE RAW

Much newer but just as spectacular in its own way is the Atlantic Road. It connects the towns of Molde and Kristiansund on the – guess where – Atlantic coast of Norway. The spectacular bit is only 8.27km long, but it took six years to build. Opened in 1989, the road and its seven bridges were designed specifically to take advantage of the scenery. The original plan was for a railway instead of a road, and I haven’t been able to find out what changed the government’s mind – but I thank the Old Gods that it did!

I can just imagine Thor – or rather Njord - roaring with laughter as a car gets drenched by breaking waves during a storm and pushed around on the road by the power of the water. This is one time where I would be taking the long route inland on a bike! “Many tourists choose to travel to the Atlantic Road during the autumn to experience the raging storms that pound the road,” says the official Norwegian tourist website. A bit different from some countries, where they’d close the road because it was dangerous!

Much of the time, though, Hustadvika Bay allows more or less secure crossings. I’ve been there twice and have

Anti-Clockwise from left: One of the 11 hairpin bends on Ornevegen makes life a little difficult for a motorcyclist. / I’m glad that the waves weren’t breaking over the road, as they often do, but I’d love to see it. / The view down the valley from the lookout near the top. Look very, very carefully and you will see two motorcycles in this photo. No, three!

Compass roses This is the first of a series of stories covering particularly good (or interesting) rides at all four points of the compass, both in Australia and the rest of the world. Look for the other directions in future issues of Australian MOTORCYCLIST!

never had any serious wind. Umm, perhaps I should rephrase that…

Unfortunately the Elshusoya island kiosk and tourist information office were being upgraded when I passed by. It would be interesting to see what sort of souvenirs they offer. Maybe a stockfish, or a jar of Atlantic sea water.

But what exactly makes the Atlantic Road such a wonderful ride? As always it’s a combination of things. The small islands connected by the road have lots to look at – a fishing village here, a fish drying rack there and the constant power of the surrounding sea. It’s a bit like a journey to the past, but on a super-modern roadway. The beautiful curved construction of the Storseisundet bridge is the key image that most people take away from the road, but the other six bridges are also worth looking at from one or another of the viewpoints. If you’re in luck you may see whales, and there’s always the seabirds and the seals to check out.

More to the point, though, is just riding the road. It might have been laid out by a motorcyclist, given the way it swings around the islands and bridges. The surface is superb, the camber is just right and there are plenty of places to stop. Ride it three times at least. You’ll discover something else each time. And one day I’m going to get there during autumn “to experience the raging storms that pound the road”.

AND, TO CONCLUDE…

So, is Norway the world’s best motorcycle destination? We’ll have a chance over the next few months to compare it with some other countries that have come up tops for me. Don’t forget to pick up MOTORCYCLIST if you’re interested in a few more options.

And remember, even in these days of shrinking Aussie dollar values, many overseas destinations are still good value.

And just to make sure that we all get a chance to ride some of the wonderful roads I’ve come across, I’ll be featuring Australian roads as well.

A win-win, right? Even though I hate that expression… *Okay, let’s see your nominations! 

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7/01/2016 9:58 am

TECHNICAL

DA' GADGET MAN

HE’S GONE ALL ‘SMART’ THIS MONTH! WORDS JOHN CONNOR

T

his month we chose eight smartphone Apps we hear a bit about when out talking with other riders. We decided to check them out.

We have rated them 1 to 5. 1 is a good App and 5 is not so good. The rating is

YELP FREE (RATING 3) IPHONE - WWW.YELP.COM.AU/MOBILE ANDROID - WWW.YELP.COM.AU/MOBILE

based on how easy it is to use, how easy it is to set up, how good the information is that you get out of the App and how relevant it is to motorcyclists. There are many more Apps out there, of course. Let us know

about any you’ve found that work well for motorcyclists. Send us an email (or even a letter via snail mail).

That’s info@ausmotorcyclist.com.au or Australian MOTORCYCLIST Magazine, PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111.

In an already saturated restaurant location App market, Yelp is at the top of the heap. Elect to filter and chose anything from bars, clubs and coffee shops to petrol stations, pharmacies and transport. It’s all at your fingertips. Handy for newbies in the area with distances (linked to maps), price and doors open indicators.

Check in, write and read reviews and post a photo – it’s easy. There is limited information for remote regional areas of Australia, admittedly, but the more people who use it the better it will get over time.

STAYZ FREE (RATING 4) IPHONE - APPSTO.RE/AU/ AXGCG.I ANDROID - NOT AVAILABLE

How many of us have chosen a destination (or direction) for a long road trip, with the intention of

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discovering ‘great’ places to stay along the way? Then it’s almost dusk and you’ve passed the tenth dodgy looking roadside motel.

Change things up by choosing accommodation first and making the journey the adventure, not the choice of fleapit!

The Stayz App allows you to search for your perfect accommodation type, from a private cottage getaway with a loved one to a chalet for ten. Navigation is easy. Choosing from the myriad of properties with varying nightly and weekly rates is the hard part. Tap on ‘enquire now’ and you’ll receive an automated ‘enquiry confirmation’ detailing your requested dates and suggested payment methods such as PayPal or paying on the Stayz site. My experience is that I have received an email from the property owner or manager within minutes, declaring I can go ahead with my booking. The App boasts extensive property photos and features, guest reviews, last minute deals, special offers and a pinpoint location map. Be warned.

You’ll browse this app for hours!

HEMA-EXPLORER $29.99 (RATING 1) IPHONE - WWW.HEMAMAPS. COM.AU ANDROID - WWW.HEMAMAPS.COM.AU

This App is very simple to use. One real advantage is the Maps can be downloaded directly into your phone.

That means if you are out of mobile phone reception and there is no Wi-Fi you can still use this App as your GPS. If you like those long trips away, this app becomes really useful. It shows points of interest, accommodation, campsites, caravan parks, service stations… and the list goes on. It has very good weather radar as well, but you will need to be connected to a Wi-Fi or your phone network. The weather info is very accurate and updated constantly. The maps themselves are really easy to read. You can plan your ride and set waypoints for stops along your route. It has all the features you

website. You can share your sessions with others. Your smartphone must be in GPS range all of the time to be able to record your performance. The phone does not need to be mounted to your bike to accurately record the action. It uses the technology of your smart phone to determine the performance and angles.

The App also provides a good description of where to have your mobile phone on you for accurate results. It does require you to input your bike details and tyre pressures. This is only for survey

would find in a GPS: Average Speed, Current Speed and loads of other information. You can also access your trip or set up your trip info from a web browser on the Internet. This little feature means you can use a normal computer screen to set up your trip before you leave home. It is not a free app but it is worth every dollar and packed with lots of features.

Stuart has also used this App on his phone and found it to be easy to use, very detailed and great even out of range in the bush. The price tag might seem high for an “App” but what you get for your money would cost bucket loads more if you were talking physical maps and the like.

PIRELLI DIABLO SUPER BIKER FREE (RATING 1) IPHONE - WWW.PIRELLI.COM/DIABLOAPP ANDROID - WWW.PIRELLI.COM/DIABLOAPP

This app is fun. It measures your performance including your lean angle during a bike ride session. You start a session and it will track your average lean angle through the corners. Sessions are recorded and can be saved on the

purposes and does not affect the results in your session data. This App is more relevant to those taking bikes on a track but it has a setting for road trips as well.

We all know those guys who always boast at the end of a ride about how far they got their bike over. Set them up with this App and compare the average lean angle for a bit of fun.

ROAD TRIP - $10.99 (RATING 3) ROAD TRIP LITE – FREE IPHONE ONLY - DARRENSOFT.CA/ROADTRIP

This app is for those who really like to track fuel usage, maintenance plans and expenses. There are lots of Apps

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TECHNICAL

available out there that can do the same thing but this one packs a lot of information in the summary screen and is probably the easiest to set up

and enter the information required.

It is not motorbike specific, however it works just as well with bikes as it does for cars and trucks. It lets you map out trips and calculates what the trip should cost you in fuel and maintenance. You can compare trips you have done in the past. If you are a stickler for recording this kind of detail then this app is for you. All the information can be exported to an Excel spreadsheet via Dropbox. Not a fun app but a good one for those ‘attention to detail’ people.

The Lite version is good to start with.

If you find you like it, you will want to upgrade to the standard version. My suggestion is to start with the free version before you commit yourself.

BEST BIKING ROADS $4.99 (RATING 2) IPHONE - WWW.BESTBIKINGROADS.COM ANDROID - WWW.BESTBIKINGROADS.COM (Best Biking Roads Lite – Free - Rating 5 – Too Many Ads)

This is a great app for planning a weekend ride away. You can look up

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rides by other bikers and see how other riders have rated the same ride. The App is also good if you have not planned your weekend away and you just want to see some good bike roads near you at the time.

It is bike specific so the information is more than relevant. I do not recommend the “Lite” version unless

MOTIONX GPS $1.99 (RATING 3) IPHONE ONLY - GPS.MOTIONX.COM

This App is a GPS for your smartphone and unlike other GPS systems it is a little more motorbike centric than all the others. I first started using this App with my bike riding mates when we were trying to find something better than “Find my Friends” on the iPhone. I tend to be the slowest rider amongst the group so I am forever having to find them. This App worked really well. I got everyone in the group on the App and then linked us all together so we could track each other via the phone. It worked remarkably well and much better than “Find My Friends”. Each rider must be in mobile phone range for it to work accurately. Setting up the link between other riders was a bit of a process and in general the App is a little difficult to use. The screens on the other hand are very clear and easy to read. The information is not specifically for motorcyclists but you can tell the developers have thought about us. This App also has the ability to download maps before you go on your journey.

There are a few in-app purchases with this one so the $1.99 price tag can be deceiving depending on what extra features you might want to add. 

you do not mind annoying ads within the App. The $4.99 price tag is worth it to remove the adware. If you happen to find a good bit of bike road out there that has not already been listed by someone, then enter it into the App. Next time you are telling your friends what a great bit of road you found, you will be able to back it up by sharing the details of the road with them.

It has a great Australian following already and lists great rides in the cities as well as the regional areas. I think you will struggle to find a route that it doesn’t know about yet.

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TYRE TEST

DUNLOP SPORTMAX ROADSPORT LONG DISTANCE SPORTIN’ LIFE WORDS/PHOTOS STUART WOODBURY

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he first time I rode on the relatively new Dunlop Roadsports was while on the launch of the new Suzuki GSX-S1000s. I was highly impressed: that launch was held in just about every road condition you could imagine, including the occasional bit of black ice!

After the launch I kept one of the GSX-S1000F bikes to ride for a couple of weeks and ended up putting just over 1000km on the tyres. I was surprised that they still looked like new – and I hadn’t been kind to them.

So, roll on a couple of months and NSW Dunlop distributor, Ficeda sent over a set to fit to our long term Yamaha MT-07 – a bike that is very familiar, so that I could really check to see if the Roadsports are as good as I thought.

The first thing I noticed is that the construction of the tyre is much stiffer than the Angel GT tyres I took off. So if you’re after that little bit stiffer construction, the Dunlop is one to look at. The Roadsport also feels like a light tyre. The MT-07 is already quite light in steering and the Roadsport makes the front feel even lighter again. This has made manoeuvrability a step better than

it already was. The construction also features a “round” profile, so you can go for big lean angles.

Grip is excellent as well, with the Roadsport technically being a “sport” tyre. With a three-division multiple tread structure, the Roadsport compounds have great dry and wet grip and hybrid blended particulate silica ultrafine particles and carbon in the shoulder give outstanding edge grip. You have both long life and high performance grip; and speaking of long life, I have now put 1247km on the tyres as I write this piece and they still look brand new! Just as I found with the Suzuki GSX-S, which is a heavier and more powerful bike than the MT-07, the Roadsport wears extremely well. So I am guessing I’ll get at least 10,000km out of them. For a “sport” tyre, that is amazing!

Not much fuss was made about the Dunlop Roadsport when it was first released some months ago, but Dunlop should have been singing and dancing about how good this tyre is. If it was not for their fitment to the Suzuki GSX-S, I would not have come across them. If you want a decent life from a tyre that offers high levels of grip –wet or dry, look at a set of Roadsports, you’ll be happy you did. The tyres are available in a variety of popular sizes and are very well priced. 

Here’s the front tyre on the GSX-S1000F with just over 1000km and had been flogged quite hard! Still looks new!

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BIKE TEST

MOTO GUZZI CALIFORNIA 1400 AUDACE TO BOLDLY GO…

WORDS STUART WOODBURY PHOTOS NICK WOOD

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Stuart is wearing an Rjays Platinum helmet, Ugly Fish sunnies, Segura Retro jacket, Dririder Coolite gloves, Draggin jeans and the wrong footwear! Tsk, tsk!

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BIKE TEST

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121NM OF TORQUE AT ONLY 3000RPM PROPELS THE BOLD BEAST SWIFTLY FROM STANDSTILL

M

oto Guzzi’s bold California 1400 range with its torquey V-twin has been a great success. Now they’ve really got the bit between their teeth in Mandello with the Audace, which even means “Bold”. This bike has attitude, something you’d never have said about any of the old Callies.

To separate it from the ‘base’ 1400 California platform, the Audace has a few distinctive characteristics. First is the riding position. The design of the drag handlebar, the forward position of the footpegs and the different seat height create a stretched and more dominating riding position. The thing I really love about it is that it takes the weight off the base of your spine unlike other cruisers which give you constant jolts when riding over rough roads.

The Audace has no chrome plating: every mechanical detail has been ‘darkened’ to give the entire bike some serious attitude. Match this to the short, megaphone style exhausts and the powerful roar of the 1400cc V-Twin engine and it is an exciting motorcycle to ride. Mind you, as much as I did like the sound from the exhausts, I would love to give the Audace even a bit more bark to match its bite.

The bike is also lighter than the rest of the 1400 California range, thanks to it being a ‘stripped down’ version with a carbon fibre front guard and plenty of other weight saving items. Power to weight ratio is good; at 314kg (wet) the Audace sounds like a heavy bike, but it doesn’t feel like it.

121Nm of torque at only 3000rpm propels the bold beast swiftly from

standstill. It will shame many other bikes in the traffic light grand prix, with so much torque down low, you can snick it up through the gears and sail along effortlessly.

You have the choice of three engine maps: Turismo (Touring), Veloce (Sport) and Pioggia (Rain). You will only want this beast in Veloce, so forget the other two maps. There is a smooth traction control system that will stop you from choking those behind you with copious amounts of white tyre smoke from the super fat 200 section rear tyre. It does feel like the clutch is slipping, but when you see the orange light on the instrument cluster flashing faster than Flash Gordon, you’ll know the Audace is keeping you on the straight and narrow.

Accessories from Moto Guzzi have been designed to reflect the attitude of those who want to reinforce the decisive and powerful image of their Audace. Available are an Audace eagle motorcycle cover, “Dark” short stem mirrors kit, “Dark” hand grip kit, Black “corsa” hand grip ends, “Dark” black front brake and clutch levers, aluminium rider’s and passenger’s footpegs, an aluminium head bushings set, engine crankcase hole covers, carbon look tank side covers, carbon look fuel cap cover, pair of carbon look injector covers, matt red cylinder head covers, black conical slip-on mufflers, electronic antitheft kit, cylinder heat shields kit, chromium plated tank side covers, heads guard kit, license plate bracket kit, swingarm washers and a rear brake fluid reservoir cover. Whew.

The two I would instantly purchase are the red cylinder head covers and the slipons. They would make this a bad boy which would draw more onlookers than a drunken fool at the horse races.

Moto Guzzi’s 1400 California Audace would be in my top three of cruisers if I was looking at buying one. It has the uniqueness and character I’d be after and put a smile on my face each time I rode it. It will do the same for you. 

SPECS

MOTO GUZZI 1400 CALIFORNIA AUDACE PRICE: $23,500 (ride away) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 10,000km or 12 months ENGINE: Air and oil-cooled V-twin cylinder, 4-stroke, SOHC, 4 valves per cylinder BORE x STROKE: 104 x 81.2mm DISPLACEMENT: 1380cc COMPRESSION: 10.5:1 POWER: 71kW @ 6500rpm TORQUE: 121Nm @ 3000rpm TRANSMISSION: 6-speed, single disc clutch, shaft final drive SUSPENSION: Front, 45mm telescopic fork, non-adjustable, travel 120mm.

Rear, twin shock, adjustable preload and rebound, travel 110mm.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 740mm, weight 314kg (wet), fuel capacity 20.5 litres, wheelbase 1695mm TYRES: Front, 130/70/R18.

Rear, 200/60/R16 FRAME: Tubular steel BRAKES: Front, twin 320mm discs with radial four-piston ABS calipers. Rear, 282mm disc, dual-piston ABS caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 7.74 litres per 100km, premium unleaded THEORETICAL RANGE: 264km COLOURS: Matt Sparkle Black VERDICT: GO BOLD

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LAMS BIKES Special Feature

THE HOTTEST MARKET GAMBOLLING WITH THE LAMS WORDS STUART WOODBURY

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he Learner Approved Motorcycle Scheme (LAMS) has been wonderful for motorcycling Australia wide. Not only is there more choice, but manufacturers have realised that the LAMS market brings in the big dollars from lots of sales, so they’ve even been introducing LAMS specific models that aren’t available anywhere else in the world, except Australia. Firstly it’s great to see that manufacturers have realised we’re an

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TEAR OUT MAP #36

HEAD NORTH HE SAID. NORTH!

PART 4 - MURWILLUMBAH TO BRISBANE AND ESK WORDS/PHOTOS COLIN WHELAN

I

n our continuing series of rides north from Sydney towards Cairns, these rides take you from Murwillumbah to Brisbane and Esk. Head west on from the Murwillumbah Visitor Info Office and cross the Tweed, then take a right at the 2nd roundabout onto Brisbane St, signposted Chillingham, then left onto Murwillumbah St at the end before you ride into the pink Imperial Hotel and then the first right onto Queensland Rd, again signposted Chillingham and Currumbin.

A kilometre or so into the cane fields before the turn off to Chillingham on the left, you’ll get to a right T at Cane Rd.

LYNSNAGAR

If you want to get back to the Highway, take the right onto Tomewin Rd, signposted Currumbin, if you’re staying inland, stay straight and bend with Murwillumbah Rd as it bends left and morphs into Numinbah Rd.

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HIGHWAY

4km out of Murwillumbah you’ll see the turn right for North Tumbulgum and Dulguigan. If you’re in a rush to get back to the highway, or if you want to take a break at one of the nicest towns on the way, take this turn onto Dulguian Rd. Follow it till you see Tumbulgum across the river and then take the loop and over the new bridge into the township. The town’s just off the Tweed Valley Way so when you reach it, turn left and head north and you’ll soon blend into the Pacific Motorway.

If you’re not in such a hurry to get back onto the highway, don’t take the right onto Dulguian Rd but continue straight on Tomewin Rd for the climb up over the border ranges and the ride toward Currumbin.

TUMBULGUM

Any pub that has an honour system selection of local fruit and vegies on sale in the foyer is just great by me, not to

mention plenty of designated bike parking! Good variety of cafes too, but if you just want to relax beside the Tweed and reflect on how damn lucky you are, there’s few better places around.

CHILLINGHAM

No fuel here anymore but a top little general store slash farm produce slash café with coffee from local beans slash rest stop. If you’re after a cooling dip head down Zara Rd just north of the café, cross the bridge and get down to the creek.

NUMINBAH VALLEY

Beautiful part of the world and the NV Café here welcomes riders and the friendly folks serve some good grub.

CANUNGRA

The Outpost Café is the traditional hangout for riders but I prefer the

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PART 4 – MURWILLUMBAH TO BRISBANE AND ESK

THE HIGHWAY (BLUE ROUTE) If you’re in a real rush to get from south to north you’ve probably kept on the highway and not enjoyed the Tweed Valley Highway but if you’ve come into Murwillumbah and still want to get back to the main drag, you have a number of good options for the short return.

From the Tourist Info Office in Budd Park on the south side of the river, simply head east on the Tweed Valley Highway and about 14km this blends into the Pacific Motorway for the quick but boring way north to Brisbane. (Blue Route) If you have a little bit more time, head west on our Orange Route from the Visitor Info Office and cross the Tweed, then take a right at the 2nd roundabout onto Brisbane St, signposted Chillingham. Next take the left onto Murwillumbah St at the end before you ride into the pink Imperial Hotel and then the first right onto Queensland Rd, again signposted Chillingham and Currumbin.

A km or so out of town you’ll come to Cane Rd on the right. Take this and then follow it as it bends 90º right and keep on it til it crosses the river and joins the Tweed Valley Way where you turn left onto the Blue Route.

4km out of Murwillumbah you’ll see the turn for North Tumbulgum and Dulguigan on Dulguigan Rd. Take this right and after flowing through great cane country, it’ll lead you under the new bridge and then back to a T. The left leads over the bridge and into Tumbulgum from where you can rejoin the Tweed Valley Way and the Blue Route.

If you turn right at this T before the bridge and onto Terranora Rd, it’ll lead you through some more beautiful country then the outer suburbs of the Tweed and onto the Pacific Motorway.

(Pink Route)

FINALLY THE GREEN ROUTE For the very best riding north from Murwillumbah, head out as above in the Pink route but don’t turn at either Cane Rd or at Dulguigan, continuing instead north on Tomewin Rd for some of the best riding you are going to find.

After about 20km of this, you’ll get to a T at Currumbin Creek Rd. Just on 4km to your left are the Currumbin Rock Pools, easily accessible and immensely refreshing: well worth the detour.

A U-turn after a swim at the pools or a right at the T will bring you into Currumbin where it’s tricky to rejoin the motorway but well signposted.

EVEN A BIT MORE TIME? (YELLOW ROUTE)

MY WAY (THE PURPLE ROUTE)

Don’t turn right onto Cane Rd but continue along Tomewin Rd with the wonderful old Lysnagar Homestead on your right and continue straight north.

Signposted Currumbin.

Head out of Murwillumbah as above until you pass Cane Rd and you’ll see the Lysnagah Homestead on your right.

Turn left opposite onto Numinbah Rd signposted Chillingham.

Follow this for just on 60km of mountain riding until you get to Clagiraba Rd on your left. Follow this for 6km til you turn left on Beaudesert-Nerang Rd for 10km into Canungra.

Continue west out of Canungra for 6km and you’ll see a sign ‘Ignore GPS, Follow 90 to Beaudesert’. If you don’t mind a short stretch of very friendly dirt, ignore this sign and take the next left signposted Biddaddaba, else continue straight til you hit the T at the Beaudesert-Beenleigh Rd where you take the left.

If you’ve ignored the ignore sign, continue on this scenic backroad with great views of Patinack Farm, another failed Nathan Tinkler enterprise, until you rejoin Route 90 12km along.

It’s now 8km to Beaudesert. Ignore the signs at the approach to town and head for the city centre then take a left at the lights and a quick right after the Caltex Servo for Boonah and Warwick.

After 31km take the right before Coulson onto the Ipswich-Boonah Rd and continue through Peak Crossing (F) for 35km north until it morphs into Warwick Rd at Yamanto where you cross the Cunningham Hwy. This in turn morphs into Old Toowoomba Rd which you follow until you reach the Wulkuraka Connection Rd on your right. Follow this 11km north through Blacksoil (F) on the Warrego and then 15km to Fernvale and then stay on the Brisbane Valley Way another 45km into Esk.

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Café Metz just down the road. Both have good food and whilst the service at Metz is way friendlier, if pulling up and talking with other riders rather than engaging with the locals is your thing, the Outpost will suit you better.

The Caltex at the west end of town sells 91 and 95 but no 98. There’s a sizable Foodworks besides the servo.

There’s good free camping at the river crossing on Beechmont Rd a bit to the east of town.

BEAUDESERT

Plenty of fuel here though the best is probably the good meeting spot at the South Caltex just after you turn left at the main lights. I’ve not found a remarkable café here though there’s a few just to the north of the lights.

Beaudesert Motorcycles are south of the Warwick turn on Telemon St.

IPSWICH

Queenslanders tend to claim this is the

Sunshine State’s Tasmania and many inmates have two heads. I’ve found it okay and it has all services you’ll need including Top Gun Motorcycles at 21 Brisbane St if your beast is playing up.

The Leagues Club in Downs St, North Ipswich has the best value meals and drinks in the place. Lots of fuel!

FERNVALE

Not a bad town although the Old Bakery, proclaiming itself as having “Australia’s Best Pies” is so very overrated. They may win awards but the daily fare is ordinary and the service off-handed. CJ’s Café just up the road is way friendlier. Freedom Fuels at the top end of town sell 91, 95 and 97.

ESK

A top town. The Club Hotel makes riders feel right at home. For mine it’s a toss-up between two cafés. A lot of riders like Enigmas in the centre of town but both Nash Gallery and Café

and especially Julies at the Rectory at the south end are way more relaxing and elegant. Better coffee too.

TWEED

All services here and they don’t just welcome the retired and the beach bums. The most accessible bike dealer is Firestorm Motorcycles on Enterprise Ave and I reckon the deck at the surf club on the beach at Currumbin is the best place to kick back and revive.

BRISBANE

It’s got everything Sydney has, only a lot less. (I told a bloke out at Tambo once that I was heading to Brisbane and he replied, “Who owns the pub there nowadays?”). If it’s not your destination, stay on the highway but the dopes who run the toll roads will hit you with ridiculous charges if you don’t have one of their tags. Avoid if you can. (Take the Storey Bridge exit and detour through the township.) 

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TRAVEL

POSTIES TO THE CAPE BRUTAL DAYS WORDS JACQUI KENNEDY PHOTOS MICHAEL COOPER ET AL

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rutal! That was the one word I extracted from Michael Cooper after he completed the 2015 Posties to the Cape run in July. Michael, with brothers Pat and Anthony and ten other mates, tackled the gruelling 1400 kilometre dirt/ gravel /sand/ bulldust roads, including the Frenchman’s Track and Old Telegraph track, to conquer the Cape on CT110 postie bikes in 11 days.

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TRAVEL Riders Michael Cooper, Pat Cooper, Anthony Cooper, Dale Cooper, Rob Pople, Ken Besgrove, Justin Lander, Keiron Carty, Joel Carty, Matt Grace, John O’Conner, Warrick Hill and Neil Laycock

Support Terri Gallagher, Jack Pople, Aaron Carty, Craig Sleep, Roger Hogan, Brian Langbein, Simon Kelly

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Supported by five 4WDs, the thirteen riders set out from Cape Tribulation, cutting their teeth on the Bloomfield Track up to Cooktown. Mid-season, the southern river crossings were low enough to ride across and the slippery road conditions were just a hint of things to come.

Battle Camp Road from Cooktown to Laura was their first introduction to the red dirt that would be finding its way into every nook, cranny and orifice; staining every piece of clothing and clogging up filters. Self-doubt about the wisdom of selecting Postie bikes kicked in with the never-ending corrugations and even the drivers of the 4WDs were questioning the sanity of the expedition.

Making things more interesting was the persistent drizzly rain adding a new element of peril; not only to the road surface but to visibility through goggles and visors already coated with bulldust.

Once they joined the main Cape road at Laura the riders added roadtrains and grey nomads into the mix just to liven things up a bit.

The next 265km slog along the Peninsula Development Road to Coen tested the fortitude of bikes and riders.

The corrugations were relentless, loosening Nylock nuts on axles and swing arms and shaking loose mirrors, footpegs and indicators. This merciless agitation tested the riders’ sense of adventure but upon arrival at Archer River, it was found to be still intact.

The following day they ventured east to the coast and camped at the very windy Chilli Beach. The forecast was for “partly cloudy” but the downpour that ensued nearly washed their camp away. 32mm of horizontal rain fell in just two hours and after five days of punishing roads, climbing into wet swags was simply barbarous.

The first of the major challenges was the Frenchman’s Track leading back to the main road. The support vehicles retraced their path while the Posties took the “shortcut”. The track was mostly sand – kilometres of deep, soft sand; except when it was iron ore marbles interspersed with skating on slimy mud.

For the deeper river crossings, Michael had designed and built four fibreglass floats which were carried on the rear racks and deployed at two of the crossings. They were easily strapped to the front and rear axles, supporting the full weight of the bike which then required the minimum of guidance across the water.

Kieran drowned his bike, but once the water was pumped out of the combustion chamber and the air filter wrung out, the resilient Postie restarted in 5 minutes after just two kicks. Try that with a 1200cc GS. After a two day break at Bramwell Station to watch the festival and horse race, the support vehicles once again parted company leaving the bikes to venture out onto the Old Telegraph Track facing the full gamut of surface conditions and multiple creek crossings. These tracks are arduous, often tripping up experienced 4WDers; snorkels and winches are essential equipment. One of the great advantages of a Postie bike is its lightness, requiring only one rider to lift it out of the sand or water; although an extra helper may be needed to push it up a slimy riverbank or extract it from a sucking mudhole. How much does a BMW weigh?

One rider’s trip ended just 21k into the Old Telegraph Track when a patch of rogue sand jumped up and bit him.

His collarbone was the unfortunate victim of the subsequent fall, necessitating his evacuation to Weipa with the aid of a good Samaritan 4WDer. Extracting the stricken

The Top Ten PAT COOPER Ten: the number of times per minute I thought, “perhaps the ride in the other wheel track is smoother, firmer and or better traction; I should change lanes now and try that side”.

Nine: the number of times per minute that the other wheel track proved to be rougher, softer and or had less traction.

Eight: the volume in litres of sweat stored in my jacket and pants at the end of each day’s riding.

Seven: the distance in metres from which someone else could smell me approaching at the end of each day’s riding.

Six: the length in inches of the nails that could be hammered into my backside without me feeling it.

Five: the amount of time in seconds for which the other wheel track was ever better than the wheel track I just vacated.

Four: the volume of water in hundreds of millilitres that each of my riding boots can retain.

Three: the visibility in metres when a road-train passes a Postie Bike.

Two: the number of ears full of soil/mud I had at the end of each day’s riding.

One: the ranking of this adventure amongst every fund-raising effort I’ve ever done.

Zero: the number of times I intend to do this ride again on a Postie Bike. Ever.

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TRAVEL

Postie back to ‘civilisation’ (defined by any single building with electric light bulbs) required much more imagination and effort. All the support vehicles had taken the main road, leaving Michael and Pat to “leapfrog” the bike 21kms through sand and creeks. Abandoning one bike on the side of the track, they rode a few kilometres up the road leaving another bike, then Michael doubled Pat, sitting on the rear rack, back through the sand to the first bike covering about 85 kilometres to travel 21. Michael likened it to “dinking as kids” – the simpatico phrase making a gruelling task less stressful.

After this exhausting ordeal, they still had to ride over 100km to catch up with the rest of the group at Elliot Falls. 25km before their destination, Michael’s engine gave up the ghost, with the deployment of a three metre tow rope being the only option. Pat described towing a Postie with a Postie with a rapidly depleting five horse power, through soft sand and corrugations, as hair-raising. [Quite an understatement, Pat!] Michael was just glad that it was his brother facing this predicament with him and noted that there are very few riders he would trust with his safety under these circumstances.

The final push to the tip was mercifully incident free albeit frustrated by the lack of decent signage. Two brave (foolhardy) riders nursed and cajoled their Posties the last 300m over slippery shale and rocky outcrops for the ultimate photo at the sign.

They celebrated their victorious achievement with a beach race - the tension and agony of the previous 1400km forgotten in the spirit of the tournament.

Upon returning to civilisation, one rider threatened Michael with grievous bodily harm if he ever invited him on another such expedition. Time heals, however, and plans are already afoot for further adventures.

www.postienotes.com.au/p/capeyork.html 

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The final word MICHAEL COOPER It was tough but by the same token it

and beaten up equipment. I would do it

was totally worth all of the effort.

again and I think the Postie bikes did an

Some of the scenery and creek

amazing job of handling the punishment

crossings up there are spectacular, just

we and that trip gave them. They go

getting to see them for yourself is

down in my book as the toughest bikes

worth all of the dirt, dust, sore muscles I have ever owned.

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Special Feature ADV BIKE Stuart has just tried to wash some of the dust off the lovely BMW R 1200 GS at a creek crossing in Woods Point, VIC. Didn’t work!

ADVENTURE BIKES WHAT’S THE DIRT ON GETTING DIRTY? WORDS STUART WOODBURY

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ups, but there are five new bikes from major manufacturers (plus a scooter!) that we know about so far.

They are Honda’s long-awaited new Africa Twin, the Suzuki DR650SE, Ducati Multistrada 1200 Enduro and Triumph’s Explorer 1200 XRx and XCx. Ducati has produced a more dirt focused Multistrada to tackle the BMW R 1200 GS head on. I also see the Triumph Explorer 1200 XCx being the same kind of machine. If the 800 XCx is anything to go by, the 1200 version should be a very serious off-road contender.

Even though the Suzuki isn’t technically classed in this group, the super low price tag and added equipment - Barkbusters, solid

Clockwise from top: The XRx will be a more road orientated adventure machine. / If I twist this, will I have an Adventure?

Honda thinks so. / Honda’s brandnew take on a venerable name: Africa Twin. One to watch. / It will be interesting to see how the Multistrada Enduro goes in the Aussie bush. / Explorer 1200 XCx. Looks to be feature packed for long explorations. / Only $8099 + ORC. Can you believe it!

aluminium bash plate and rear rack - it will be an even bigger seller in 2016.

As for Honda’s City Adventure concept scooter, well who knows?

Just watch us We are looking forward to playing with some Adventure bikes this coming year.

Not only will we find good places for you to go, we’ll compare these offerings and others to find just the right gravel and dirt track machinery for Australia and for you.

Stay tuned as Stuart, the Possum and some guests flash around the bush!

No doubt someone will ride one across Franz Josef glacier.

Er, Bear, what are you doing next winter? 

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PUB OF THE MONTH

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THE PALACE HOTEL, O BROKEN HILL

RATED 5 OUT OF 5 HELMETS

WHAT’S BEHIND THE PAINTINGS… WORDS/PHOTOS COLIN WHELAN

n Saturday March 19th 1988 the punters of NSW headed to the polls to elect a new state government but way out west in Broken Hill, something far more important was on the cards: the 24th running of the St Pats Race Day. Begun in 1965, this race meet was already an icon of the outback. It was a fund-raiser for the local catholic schools and had grown

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into a weeklong festival also featuring a major volunteer-run charity night at the track with games like Crown and Anchor, Unders and Overs, and One to Six. These were the days of epic corruption down in Sydney. Barry Unsworth’s Labor government had seen its Prisons Minister jailed for selling early prisoner releases, its chief justice in the clink for perverting the course of justice and a host of senior cops caught up in corruption charges and investigations.

The Libs were led by Nick Greiner who promised to clean up the halls of power and to rescind the tough guns laws proposed by Unsworth as a response to the Hoddle St massacre.

Meanwhile on the Wednesday before the election around a dozen members of the NSW Gaming Squad secretly checked into Mario’s Palace Hotel on Argent St in Broken Hill.

Come Friday night and Paul Mullins was supervising one of the ten gaming tables at the charity do down at the track, just like he’d done each year for the past ‘too many’. Paul was a real estate agent and was he nervous. All week there’d been strong whispers that the night was going to be raided and he knew that if he was arrested and convicted, he’d lose his licence to practise.

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The committee had met mid-week and decided the night should go ahead. The local cops claimed they’d also heard rumours but nothing official.

A bit after 9pm Paul was tapped from behind on the shoulder by a plainclothed D and the raid was on.

Sitting in his office on Oxide St a few weeks back, Paul tells me about the bust.

“There was no aggro, no disrespect. We weren’t handcuffed.

Just told we were under arrest for ‘Conduct illegal game’. They got nine of us, all the blokes running the tables. They rang the local cops and told them to bring down some paddy wagons but (club president) Barrie (Collison) said there was no way he’d be getting into any wagon so they told him to drive himself up to the cop shop and they’d arrest him there. All very civilized.”

They were all finger-printed, height measured, mug shotted, charged and processed at the Police Station across from the Palace Hotel and allowed to go home.

Next morning news of the bust pushed coverage of Nick Greiner’s election win onto the second page of the Barrier Daily Truth. If there was disgust at the arrests at this charity event there was total town outrage that police ‘from away’ had infiltrated the city and imposed out of town rules.

Broken Hill had always looked after its own, always made its own rules, always enforced its own particular codes. It’d been that way since anyone could remember.

Way back in 1916 when hotels throughout NSW were mandated by law to close at 6pm, Broken Hill, said, ‘get nicked’ and all pubs continued to open until 11pm. A delegation of senior cops was sent from Sydney

by Premier Joe Cahill in 1953 but returned to the Emerald City saying they were powerless out west to enforce the law. Broken Hill kept drinking any damn time it chose! A year later, no doubt partly due to the recalcitrance of Broken Hill, almost 40 years after being introduced strictly as

a wartime measure, six o’clock closing was abolished in NSW. Even more famous was the twoup game in Crystal Lane behind the Palace Hotel. ‘The game” was run for decades and it hosted premiers, federal ministers, off duty cops and pretty much every man who ever visited the Hill. But no women or anyone under 18. Miners but no minors. These were the rules.

Broken Hill rules; and Broken Hills rules ruled.

A silhouette of a bloke leaning on a pole was painted at the corner to mark the lane. It’s still there. Right on the lane’s curb was an unmarked door on which you’d knock and have an eyelevel sliding hatch open, a voice would ask what you wanted and enquire whether you were over 18. If you passed, you’d walk to the next steel door and then past the café and into the game. The steel door also remains but, sadly, that with the sliding peakhole has disappeared.

On the back wall hung a red curtain and Greg, who now owns the bakery on the site reckons no-one ever really noticed the curtain or wondered why it was there.

He lifts up a secret trap door in the floor just behind where the curtain used to hang, and I climb down the stone steps to the hidden cellar.

If anyone can dig a secret emergency escape tunnel into an adjoining shop it’s gotta be miners, but Greg reckons it was never used, never needed. There was never a bust, never any cops ‘from away’ causing grief.

The local cops knew all about ‘the game’. If anyone caused trouble and was worse for wear from the bouncers, a call would be made, a paddy wagon with its back door open would arrive in the lane, the offender would be bundled in for a ride to the edge of town and a sobering walk back.

Case closed.

But in 1984 a bloke who Greg knows was called ‘Scott’ had a blue with three other fellas. He knocked them all down, but they were the wrong people to brawl with.

‘The mafia from Mildura sent up a guy to sort Scott out but he went

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to the wrong house and beat up the wrong people. Scott fled town for a few years (but he’s back now) and the cops said, “That’s enough” and closed down the game’.

A bloke in the pub at Silverton later tells me his name wasn’t ‘Scott’, that his parents also had to leave town and that none of them has ever returned.

So many mirages out here!

So back to the end of the 1980s and Broken Hill is without its two-up and without its race night so mayor Peter Black heads to Sydney with a small posse arguing that two up is so much part of the culture in the Hill that a special law should be made to allow it to be played.

Peter confided to me that he’d missed the St Pats raid because a dinner had run late and he was driving to the gambling night with his guest when the bust went down. That guest in the car that night was the South Australian premier, John Bannon, who died a few weeks back.

Both sides of politics united to support the Gaming and Betting (Broken Hill) Amendment Act of 1992 with just one dissenting voice, old reliable Fred Nile.

The Act passed but no grudges held and when Fred came to the Hill, Blackie threw him a civic reception.

He found the pastor ‘a very interesting and reasonable fella’, but no he didn’t take him to ‘the game’.

And that brings us back to the Palace Hotel, where the Gaming Squad hid

Delights One of the real surprises of Broken Hill is the quality of the riding in the immediate surrounds.Whichever way you approach the town, you’ll have some long stretches but the last 25-30km is wonderful curvy riding from every direction. But come the hills, come the goats: watch out for ’em!

For downloadable detailed .gpx maps please see the ride and route section of my website: www.motorbikenation.com

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PUB OF THE MONTH

and where Australia’s only legal yearround two-up game starts every Friday night at 9pm.

(Hard to escape the irony that this is the same day and time that Paul Mullins had the tap from the Gaming Squad back in ’88.)

You’ve not been to a pub with legal two-up before but there’s a hell of a lot other stuff that makes the Palace special. Many interior scenes for Priscilla Queen of the Desert were filmed here and all the walls and most of the ceilings are painted with extraordinary murals. Priscilla memorabilia is everywhere. All the rooms are in top shape but the Priscilla Suite is the most over the top, amazing room you’ll ever wake up in.

From the mirror ball in its reception area to the crazy chaise lounge in the bathroom to the bath itself to the pink robes to the golden fittings and tea set to the lamp stand to the massive bed to the tiger print air con unit to EVERY SINGLE DETAIL, this is just, well, fabulous. If you’re riding two up or with a partner, splurge on this. It’ll make memories!

A single room with set you back $55, a standard queen room with shared facilities is just twenty more and one with an ensuite costs $125. All rooms have air-con, heaters and a ceiling fan.

If noise is an issue for you, ask for a

Hard Yards Writers are always slaves to the word count and, due the immense mullock pile of info I found at Broken Hill, this review was the hardest edit yet.Thanks are due to Ali Wayman at the BH Archives, and to Peter Black, Michael Bruggy, Paul Mullins and Pat Hoare who all gave their time and firsthand accounts so generously.Thanks also to the staff at the Barrier Daily Truth for access to their archives, to Darrell Ford for the keys and to Greg at Macs Bakery for letting me into both his ceiling and his dungeon!

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room down the side towards the back.

All up there’s 46 rooms including a couple of dorms. The shared bathrooms are very clean and spacious with plenty of hot water but go easy, this is drought area.

Bikers aren’t charged the usual fee to use the lock up garages around the back but I left the bike on Argent St with no problems.

The pub’s restaurant is at the side.

You can get dinner every day and lunch Thurs to Sunday but the bar snacks in the front bar are a better bet. Go for the garlic arancini only if you’re on your own, wish to ward off vampires or sharing with your ride mate.

The bar is open from 3pm Monday through Wed and from noon the other days.

If you need an earlier drink the Barrier Social Democratic Club is right across the road.

The Palace is managed by Helen and her offsider Tonya for a group of local businessmen who rescued the pub six years ago after it’d been closed for three years. They’ll quickly fix any issues you may have and give you a great sheet on the history of the pub.

The Palace Hotel at Broken Hill is a must visit pub in a must visit town.

Everyone has a story, all you need to do is show interest. In Broken Hill it seems everyone has an epic and you don’t need to be a miner to dig it out of them.

Plonk yourself down in any of the pubs or clubs and strike up a conversation with a local. You’ll get tales and stories like you’ve never heard because there’s no place like this place. Go there!

The Palace Hotel 227 Argent St, Broken Hill T: 08 8088 1699 www.thepalacehotelbrokenhill.com.au Rating: 5 Helmets Value: 160 Unique Character: Off the scale.

Full disclosure: Contrary to usual industry practice, I was not offered nor did I seek any discount or special deal while staying at any establishment mentioned in this review. My usual thanks to my HR dept. 

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CUSTOMISING

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WHAT WAS THAT ?

SYDNEY’S BIKEBIZ RECREATES BMW’S CLASSIC R 90 S WORDS THE BEAR PHOTOS SAXON SHING, BIKEBIZ

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oday, we probably think of Akrapovic when we think of Slovenian technology at all. But did you know that the first motorcycles built in Slovenia hit the streets in 1903? They were made

by Johann Puch, the forerunner of the company that built the excellent Puch moped that Mrs Bear rode to work in London. Today Slovenia, with a population roughly half that of Sydney, is still an

The original R 90 S.

What the guys at Bikebiz started with – an R nineT.

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CUSTOMISING

impressive manufacturing country.

It builds aircraft – and of course it is the home of Akrapovic, pretty much the premium motorcycle exhaust manufacturer who is now making systems for cars as well.

You would expect Slovenia to produce highly skilled craftsmen, then. And you’d be right. Boris Cmelar was trained there as a toolmaker, an impressive qualification all by itself.

“You don’t just have to make a tool to the description that you are given,” he says. “You need to work out among other things the best way it can do what the designer wants it to do.”

That qualifies him perfectly as a custom bike builder. We sometimes see great ideas spoiled by poor execution; you will not see any sign of that in Boris’ work. So he was just the right man when Mark Condon of BikeBiz (www.bikebiz.com.au), where Boris works as a mechanic, wanted someone to build the bike that BMW would be building now if it had continued the R 90 S line. And that did not mean something like BMW’s own R

Colouring in The paintjob is not just a simple tank/ fairing/mudguards effort. Apart from those obvious parts, custom paint was applied to the frame and subframe, the intake manifold cover, valve covers, drive shaft housing (swingarm), rim lines on the wheels and all custom-made brackets and holders.Total cost for paint was about $5000; the bike was stripped at BikeBiz and parts were provided separately to the painter. “It was necessary to strip the bike fully to the bone,” says Boris. “Only the engine and the wiring stayed together.”

By the way: Dutchy, who painted all this, is the son of the legendary Gus Letterman of Daytona fame.You will know the name and his work if you’ve been around for a while. As you can see he does beautiful work of his own now.

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nineT, which has a highly distinctive personality all of its own.

But that, of course, doesn’t mean that the R nineT wouldn’t make a good start…

R 90 WHAT?

There are really only a few things you need to know about the R 90 S. It is only reasonably rare; about 17,500 were built, compared with fewer than 3000 of, say, the R 69. Despite that, it is considered by many to be the most collectable BMW of all. Why is this so?

By the ‘70s, BMW motorcycles had picked up a reputation as a typical German: solid and reliable but also slow and lacking charisma. Designer Hans Muth (who later created the Katana) was told to do something about that. He came up with a 200km/h smoke black and silver /6 series rocketship called the R 90 S. Two of the bikes, ridden by Steve McLaughlin and Reg Pridmore, won the first AMA Superbike race at Daytona in 1976, and Pridmore won the AMA Superbike Championship that year. BMW had shed its staid image, and the bike that had done it has been revered ever since.

Despite the R 90 S and the fast and innovative R 100 RS which followed it, BMW Motorrad subsequently slipped back into its staid ways. It’s only recently with the launch of the S 1000 models that a comparable charisma injection has taken place. Little wonder then that the R 90 S still holds its place in the hearts of true BMW motorcyclists.

AND NOW?

Little wonder also that Mark Condon chose the R 90 S as the bike to emulate with this build, starting with the Daytona Orange paint job. But the build is no simple imitation.

Nothing on the bike except for that paint, applied by Dutchy’s Motorcycle

1. The man with the magic hands.

2. Progress! Boris getting it all together.

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Spray Art (www.dutchys.com.au) in the Illawarra, directly references the original bike. Even the fairing, sourced from Handcraft Fibreglass in Sydney suburb Seven Hills (www. handcraftfibreglass.com.au) is patterned after a Ducati 900SS unit, not after BMW’s own bikini style.

Somehow, though, this motorcycle carries the spirit of the ‘70s R 90 S forward to the present faultlessly.

Does that sound as if I liked the bike? Well, let me put it this way – I was seriously tempted to go and talk to the bank. Only for a moment, though. In case you’re interested, Mark would be prepared to let it go for $50,000, which I reckon is a bargain.

BUILDING IT

3

The two things, apart from the basic concept and the paint, that separate a classy custom from a simple shed build are the skill and thought with which the fabricated parts have been done, and the quality of the replacement parts used.

For skill and thought, look no further than Mark and Boris. The former came up with the concept, and the latter used his skills to turn the idea into metal. For a start, “all brackets are made to be mountable and removable without damaging the frame or subframe,” says Boris. “It was tricky to find the right position – not too high, low or bulky.”

The exhaust presented him with some difficult decisions, too. “The biggest problem with the exhaust was deciding whether to use one or two mufflers, which shape and length, on one side or both sides, positioning the mufflers, finding the right angle…” In other words, pretty much everything.

He finally settled on Akrapovic headers (www.akrapovic.com) designed for the R nineT and mufflers for Yamaha’s R3 from the same factory, joined by custom-made link pipes. The result is

3. Such beauty.

4. Frame ready for colour change.

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perfect – not only the appearance, but also the sound.

“At low revs it’s not too loud and the tone is on the deep side,” says Boris, “but after 3500rpm when the butterfly in the exhaust is open, the bike becomes very angry! Personally I am happy with the final result.”

Just in case you were thinking that Boris was sticking to using parts from the country of his birth – he wasn’t.

The rest of the custom parts were all sourced from the next country to the west, Italy. Rizoma (www.rizoma.com) makes absolutely beautiful accessories and parts; we have already tried out quite a few on our Yamaha MT-07 and are about to start equipping the Ducati Scrambler with them, too. It was no surprise then when we found that Boris had chosen them, and it would have helped that BikeBiz is a Rizoma dealer.

If you’re not familiar with the brand, take a look at their website.

We won’t list all the parts, but they range from items specifically made for the R nineT like the clip-ons and rearsets to universal fittings like the mirrors, levers and indicators.

Everything looks as if it was designed for the bike – which of course in most cases it was. We will be taking a look at the Rizoma factory in an upcoming issue.

Boris estimates that he spent about 100 hours on the bike, which does not count the painting and making the link pipes. That actually seems remarkably short, considering how much work has been done.

But I’m going to shut up now and let this bike speak for itself in Saxon Shing’s beautiful photos. 

Wheredoyageddit?

If you’re in luck and it hasn’t been sold, the bike can be seen at BikeBiz at Granville, at 274 Parramatta Road. Ring 02 9682 2999. BikeBiz also has a store in Parramatta at 7 Great Western Highway, 02 8830 0500. Don’t forget that they stock those Rizoma goodies.

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TOP TOURS & TRAVEL

Early evening in the west of northern Vietnam. Mountain scenery is outstanding.

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FARAWAY BLUES

MAYBE YOU CAN AFFORD THAT TRIP… COMPILED BY THE BEAR

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et’s just spare a quick few words for the subject of moolah, the readies, dough, and cash. If you watch the nightly news you could be forgiven for thinking that our poor old Aussie is in freefall – until you notice that it has actually pretty much held its position.

I suspect that the simple fact that the Australian dollar will get you less than an American dollar is enough to scare people.

In fact, you need to compare the actual cost of services and goods in whatever country you are visiting.

At current exchange rates the US is still affordable because the cost of accommodation, food and drink are all still below Australia’s… if you’re careful where you shop. A six-pack of beer, for instance, can cost less than $4 in a convenience store in the US. The New Zealand dollar keeps trying to match the Aussie, and even if it did it would still leave Unzud as a thoroughly affordable destination. Vietnam is so cheap that I would never even bother checking the exchange rate for the dong. And here’s an interesting factoid: the country with the fastest growth in Australian visitors is India, a place that definitely does not need to be expensive.

One of the biggest costs of an overseas trip is the air fare. I don’t know if you’ve checked the airline websites lately, but Qantas will fly you to San Francisco

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(and, fortunately, back) for A$1098. And that’s for most of the year, not just for a few weeks. That fare has not risen since the Australian dollar has fallen against the greenback.

If you book a tour, you know exactly what the trip is going to cost you.

The charges are locked in from the moment you book (or they should be – always check!).

You won’t be lonely, either. Five and a half million Australians took overseas trips in 2014, according to Tourism Research Australia, sixty per cent of whom were going on holidays; less than 10 per cent were on business.

But let’s not get carried away with overseas trips. Australia offers some wonderful riding and terrific destinations, and you don’t need to worry about exchange rates. In fact, a rotten exchange rate works for you.

Prices tend to drop when the Aussie drops, to keep us affordable for overseas visitors, and despite that, occupancy rates drop too. That’s bad for tourism operators of course – but not for us!

We are putting together some background information and details about Australian holiday destinations as I write this – in fact I’ll be getting on

In Australia, dogs are not allowed on bikes. This Japanese dog seems happy on a scooter’s footboard. / What is it with young women and “safety” footwear? High heels are just as common in China as here. / Japan has some of the tidiest home customising in the world – like this bike. / The Kiwis are well versed in mechanical innovation. This is a prototype station wagon. / Salcombe in the UK; the weather may be rough, but the pubs are friendly and the scrumpy is good. / Yes, you can ride down into Monument Valley. But you can only ride some of the tracks. / Automatic or “menual”, you can rent bikes everywhere in Vietnam. / The town elders check out a Harley in a Rajasthan service station. Hogs are rare here.

with that when I finish this article. Join us for some top suggestions in future MOTORCYCLIST magazines! For now, though, let’s see where Australians are going, and how (if?) you can enjoy it on a bike.

WHERE TO, COBBER? New Zealand remains our favourite overseas holiday destination. That’s hardly surprising. For motorcyclists, the Shaky Isles offer a wonderful range of motorcycling options. We run a South Island tour ourselves! Most New Zealand motorcycle tours stick to the South Island, but you can always rent a bike or even ship your own over there if you want to go further. I like the North Island for its variety and the volcanic areas. Ah! Hot springs!

Up from fourth position ten years ago, Indonesia is now second in the list.

Most of that would be Bali, of course.

We are not really keen to suggest Bali as a motorcycle destination; in fact, we’d suggest you stay away from bikes while you’re there and walk instead!

The extra effort will be more than repaid by the reduction in danger. Nearly one Australian a week dies in Bali, and many (if not most) of these fatalities involve little local bikes. Just lie on the beach and drink beer…

The United States is third favourite, as it was ten years ago. The reintroduction of Qantas flights to San Francisco will help that along, too, I suspect. You could not get a more comprehensive offering for motorcyclists than you’ll find here: there are guided tours of varying lengths in most parts of the country, there are just as many self-guided options, America has motorcycle rental places everywhere and some of those even offer one-way rentals. On top of that, bike rental is relatively cheap. Just make sure you have travel insurance that covers you and your pillion for the bike you’re riding.

Number four is the UK, including the Isle of Man. An organised tour may well be the most convenient way of visiting the Isle of Man TT, because accommodation sells out a long time before each year’s event and with a tour you’ll know that there will be a roof over

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TOP TOURS & TRAVEL New Zealand combines scenic beauty with firstworld health care – and rental bikes.

your head. Bookings for the ferry will be sorted for you, too. Apart from this, Britain offers easy motorcycle rental and there are many lovely places to see and roads to ride. Scotland would have to be my favourite, but it’s certainly not the only place where there are beautiful roads and pleasant little towns and villages. And you ride on the left!

Then there’s Thailand. I like Thailand, but only away from the tourist spots.

The back country is quiet and bucolic with friendly people and good – as well

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as healthy – food. The roads aren’t too bad, either, although occasional heavy rains can change that very quickly!

Watch the other traffic; when you’ve seen the second or third bus lying belly up in a roadside rice paddy you will realise that things can get… intense.

You can rent bikes, but I suspect an organised tour would be more relaxed.

China is next. So far, all of the countries we’ve looked at will accept your local Australian license or an International Driver’s Permit. Unless

things have changed very recently, China won’t; you will have to do a license test.

Don’t think it’s a shoo-in, either. There were some reasonably tough tests of bike handling when I did this. You do get a nice, shiny plastic-covered licence though. There is no chance of renting a bike as far as I know, and taking in your own is quite difficult. This is one place where I wouldn’t consider anything other than an organised tour. There are obviously some amazing places to visit!

Singapore… forget it. I have ridden in Singapore, both on my own bike and on a borrowed maxi-scooter. There is almost nowhere to go that you can’t walk to just as easily; parking can be a nightmare (yes, even for a motorcycle); you need an electronic pass to use the motorways; and the drivers are remarkably incompetent. This is one of the few things that Singaporeans aren’t good at.

Number seven is Fiji. I know you’re going to find this hard to believe, but

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No matter how often I visit the evergreen forests of the West Coast, I’m always blown away.

I’ve never been to Fiji. There are a few places to rent bikes, all of which seem to belong to the same company, and I suspect that tooling around Fiji would be far less stressful than riding in Bali.

Let me know how you go if you sample a bike here.

Next comes India. As I understand it, renting a bike legally and officially is just about impossible, due mainly to insurance problems. But of course that hardly matters because there are so many tours available, from journeys into

the high Himalaya to trips around the southern tip of the subcontinent. I have most recently ridden through Rajasthan, and enjoyed it very much. Roads and facilities in India have improved enormously in the past few years.

At number 9, although I would have thought it would be higher in the list, is Vietnam. Taking your own bike can be a complete nightmare; I’ve spoken to riders who showed up at the border, were sent somewhere else (a hundred or so kilometres away) and denied access

there, too. Every now and then you meet someone who makes it, it’s true. But it’s so much easier and cheaper to go on one of the many organised tours or to rent a bike locally. If you rent you will need paperwork to get into some of the border areas, but I’m assured (by people who have done it) that it’s a snack.

Nevertheless, I suspect you’d see more on a tour.

Japan is number 10, and this is another place where I haven’t ridden a bike – except in the Tochigi speed bowl.

No, you’re right, that doesn’t count. I would very much like to go for a ride in Japan for a few days, especially in Hokkaido. This northern island is relatively empty, and is considered

by Japanese riders to be the best motorcycling territory in the home islands. Bike rental is no problem, and as long as you stay off the freeway (motorcycles are not allowed) you will probably have a wonderful time. Might see you over there if I get a chance… 

INTRODUCING...

Racey

THERE ARE PLENTY OF THINGS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IN LIFE...

PROTECTING YOURSELF IN A PAIR OF DRAYKO JEANS IS NOT ONE OF THEM.

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TRAVEL

Clockwise from left: A new, purpose-built taxi on display at the Beijing Motorcycle Show. The influence of the old pedal rickshaws is easy to see, and the colour will be too! / And when it rains, the back closes neatly with a matching door. Maybe that would keep out some of the appalling city pollution, too. / The seat inside the cab has been refurbished with what looks suspiciously like curtains. The bench seat accommodates two; it’s just as well that most Chinese people are on the slim side… / This taxi ain’t a taxi, Sol; it’s an electric police car for use in pedestrian zones. You could be forgiven for mistaking it for a cab if you were in a hurry. / The driver’s “office” has been personalised with hand-made hand grips and a padded tank cover, among other little touches. Claustrophobics need not apply for jobs as taxi “drivers”. / Open-air versions of the taxis are available too, and are not claustrophobic but leave driver and passengers exposed to the heavy pollution.

1 Color- Black and White

HEY! TAXI!

W

hen I was at school, the mother of a girlfriend, who 2 Color- Black and Red was known to have a taste for the bottle (the mother, not the girlfriend – although…) once rushed out of the house and hailed a taxi. When she told the puzzled-looking uniformed driver Black - Grey Scale WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR 1 Color to take her to the Club, he kindly but firmly pointed out that she was in a

A DIFFERENT CONCEPT – IN CHINA

patrol car and the only place he’d take her was down to the police station.

You could be forgiven for making the same mistake in China; take a look at the police vehicle and you’ll see that the only real difference between it and the various taxis shown here is that the cop “car” is newer and neater. 

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BIKE TEST

SUZUKI DR650SE

NUMBER ONE IN THE BUSH WORDS STUART WOODBURY PHOTOS NICK WOOD

T

he DR650 is a quarter of a century old. It’s also cheap, it’s damn near bulletproof and the engine is substantially “over-engineered”. It is also simple to fix out in the middle of nowhere if something does happen to

go wrong; only basic mechanical skills are required. But that’s not all when you look at the 2016 model. Instead of steak knives, Suzuki has fitted some more goodies to this tried, tested and much loved favourite for Aussie adventurers,

Stuart is wearing a Shoei ADV helmet, Held Carese II jacket, Held Torno II pants, Held Sambia gloves and Sidi Crossfire 2 boots. which makes the $8090 plus on roads look like more of a steal than ever.

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BIKE TEST

SPECS SUZUKI DR650SE

PRICE: $8090 (plus on-road charges) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 6000km or 12 months ENGINE: Air/oil-cooled single cylinder, 4-stroke, SOHC, 4 valves per cylinder BORE x STROKE: 100 x 82mm DISPLACEMENT: 644cc COMPRESSION: 9.5:1 POWER: 32kW @ 6400rpm TORQUE: 54Nm @ 4600rpm TRANSMISSION: 5-speed, wet multi-plate clutch, chain final drive SUSPENSION: Front, telescopic fork, non-adjustable, travel 260mm. Rear, monoshock, adjustable preload and compression, travel 260mm.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 885mm, weight 166kg (wet), fuel capacity 13 litres, wheelbase 1490mm TYRES: Front, 90/90/21. Rear, 120/90/17 FRAME: Tubular steel BRAKES: Front, 290mm disc with dual-piston caliper. Rear, 240mm disc, dual-piston caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 4.99 litres per 100km, premium unleaded THEORETICAL RANGE: 260km COLOURS: Solid Black/Iron Grey VERDICT: PURE ADVENTURE SEEKER

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The popularity of the DR650 becomes obvious nowhere more than when you’re out riding Australia’s trails. In the majority of cases you’ll come across someone riding a DR650 or a couple of mates each riding a DR650. I suspect that these sightings will become more common than ever.

After an upgrade in 1996, the DR650 remained unchanged for two decades but for 2016, Suzuki has thrown some useful accessories onto it as standard.

These are the high quality Barkbusters, Suzuki solid alloy bashplate and Suzuki rear rack. All are essential items if you’re heading bush, and things just about all owners would fit anyway. The rear rack is extremely handy for day to day running around and has a good platform and tie down points to fit a dry bag or similar. The tough-looking alloy bashplate wraps around the bottom of the engine to protect all the bits that need protecting while you’re smashing your way through some rocky or gnarly trails, or over logs.

Barkbusters VPS plastics on the super strong aluminium Barkbusters frames

are not only there to protect the levers in case of a fall, but to protect your hands while doing just as the name suggests – busting your way through some single trails scraping the bark off trees!

But of course the main component that makes the DR650 so good is the bulletproof single cylinder engine. It’s

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super compact and oil cooled and is also equipped with Suzuki’s Advanced Cooling System (SACS), which distributes oil throughout the engine to provide even cooling and reliable performance. The engine is tuned for powerful performance and low-tomid rpm range that makes the DR a versatile choice for great performance on the road or trail.

Handling? The DR is fitted with well

suspended forks and monoshock.

You get plenty of ground clearance and the feedback through the bars, seat and pegs while riding on the bitumen and out in the dirt is excellent. For me, I would fit a set of bar risers, but then again, I’m a giraffe at 195cm tall. The only other thing I would do (and it’s a personal thing) is fit a set of Pivot Pegz. Otherwise the DR is ready to

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BIKE TEST

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tackle whatever you want to throw at it. Just pack your luggage and off you go!

Comfort is reasonable, but the seat is a little hard after a couple of hundred kilometres. I would pack an Airhawk or similar to make the bitumen sections of your adventures that much better. Seat height is good (for me) at 885mm, but you can adjust it to 40mm lower, which will also require the shorter accessory side stand. Just remember you’ll lose ground clearance by lowering the seat.

Accessories are very limited but there’s pretty much nothing you need to do, other than to fit some luggage.

The Suzuki roll bag, which the Bear proved some time ago in a thunderstorm, is a good place to start. With its logo it will look the biz on the rear rack. Depending on how far you plan to travel out in the bush, you might like to fit a Safari tank to get greater fuel range.

I managed to get 4.99L/100km which will give you a potential range of 260km and fitting the 30 litre Safari tank takes that up around 600km!

If you’re planning on doing some adventure touring, want to do it on the cheap and access more areas of Australia than just about any other dual purpose bike, the Suzuki DR650SE is THE bike to look at.

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USED & REVIEWED

elasticated leather panels at the knees, back of the waist, back of the armhole for even more comfort and flexible movement.

Velcro inside the front panel to facilitate a chest protector is something I probably could have used, as I was glued to the tank as soon as there was any sort of straight section on the 300 and I had slight bruising on my chest after the two days of racing.

The removable hard plastic knee sliders came in handy for letting me know when I’d got enough lean angle and they helped me manhandle the little 300 back onto the part of the tyre where it gripped, after I’d been pushing just that bit too hard around Corporate Hill and had gone past the limits of both front and rear grip. I normally run with

leather knee sliders, but was happy enough with the plastic ones that came with the suit.

Sizing is pretty much bang on with any other suit I’ve worn, in fact the Defence suit had a little more room in the back for my back protector. In terms of fit, the Defence suit is a little more “casual” when compared to the higher spec Berik Force 2.0 race suit I have. The Force is a more tailored cut, so if you’re after a set of one-piece leathers with a little more comfort for the street, the Defence is the one I’d look at. If you need that extra bit of room for a little extra “padding” you might be carrying, go the Defence also.

Available in sizes 48-62 Euro, check out all of the Berik leathers at your local bike shop, or visit www.ficeda.com.au SW

WHERE ARE THE ‘WHITE’ BOOTS! Berik GPX 2.0 boots Price - $329.95 When I was picking up the Berik Defence

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race suit from Ficeda Accessories, I also collected a pair of the matching GPX 2.0 boots to sample. I’d had a pair of Berik boots around four years ago and boy have they come a long way in terms of quality and fit.

Matching the Defence suit, the GPX 2.0 boots are black with very understated fluoro yellow highlights. No more white boots!

Happy, Ian Gregory?

The GPX 2.0 boots are made from 1.6-1.8mm leather with a PU coating in various places, along with 1.61.8mm suede leather. There is a rubber outsole which is quite grippy, there’s a mesh lining inside, a shin guard, reinforced heel ankle support, replaceable magnesium toe slider, rubber gear selector pad, Velcro and zip closure and a steel shank in the sole for added safety.

I took my usual 49 Euro size and the boots took a day and a half of track use to break in. Until that, they were fairly snug as you would want from a sports type boot until they mould to your foot. Available in all black, or the blk/yellow I have and sizes 39-49 Euro. See your local bike shop, or visit www.ficeda.com.au SW 

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NEW IN THE SHOPS

QUICK PICK-ME-UP

Oggy Knobbs Pick Up Protectors and Stand Pick Ups Price - $29.95 - $44.95 Designed to protect your investment, the new Pick Up Protectors (PUP) by Oggy are race stand pick ups with built in protection Knobbs. These should be used in conjunction with Oggy Knobbs and are fitted in place of traditional race stand pick up from Knobbs. The PUP Knobbs screw into the threaded holes that the factories provide in many swingarms for just this purpose. If you don’t want the protectors attached, you can go with the range of pick up bobbins available in a wide range of colours and thread sizes 6mm-12mm.

They’re suitable only for models with threaded swingarms. Contact your dealer about Axle Oggys if your model does not have the threaded holes in the swingarm. Visit www.kenma.com.au to view the list of models suitable for these pick up bobbins.

EASY TO PULL TEETH!

GearWrench Straight Double-X Plier Price - $42.80 These easy to use Straight Double-X pliers are made for practical singlehanded work and tight spots, like a motorcycle! Increasing the ease of use and dramatically reducing frustration

levels commonly associated with traditional needle-nose pliers, the GearWrench Straight Double-X pliers are giving users greater access to hard-to-reach places than any plier before.

Sure pliers may have existed without a dual pivot system for years. With these, however, when the jaws are fully opened the handles don’t need to be so wide.

That gives users strength, control and precision in just one hand.

The GearWrench Straight Double-X plier features a flush rivet for added strength while maintaining a narrow profile.

For greater precision when it comes to gripping your target, aligned and serrated tips are used. The ergonomic rubberised handle allows for maximum hand grip, while giving you added comfort for long stints working in tight spots. For more information or to locate your closest retailer log onto www.gearwrench.com.au .

We want one!

IT’S TIME TO BUZZ THE TOWER!

Nolan N-21 helmet Price – From $199 Nolan has the market cornered when it comes to making open face helmets with stylish design and high levels of quality and features. With a modern take on the

‘fighter pilot’ shell design, excellent fit and feel, and Nolan’s outstanding 100% Italian made quality, the new N-21 has it all, along with a highly affordable price.

See your local bike shop, or visit www. ronangel.com.au .

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NEW IN THE SHOPS

DO THE BOLT

Vance & Hines air filter – Yamaha Bolt Price - $269.95 Specifically designed and manufactured in house by the guys at Vance & Hines to fit the Yamaha Bolt / R-Spec. Made from billet aluminium, this air filter fits over the factory throttle body, includes a washable high flow air filter element and can be run without a cover - or dress it up with one of the skull cap covers available from $99.95.

BAGGER

Bagster – Ducati Scrambler Price - $249 Bagster has released a timely custom tank cover to suit the brand new Ducati Scrambler.

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Made specifically for this model, the fit and colour are matched perfectly to the bike, and provide not only full tank protection but also allow you to fit the optional range of Bagster tank bags. See your local bike shop or visit www.ctaaustralia.com.au .

ON THE MARK

Rjays Apex helmet Price – $109.95 - $119.95 This well-priced helmet from Rjays has all the latest features, along with a 3D removable and washable Coolmax lining.

Available in plain and graphic colours

and a wide range of sizes 2XS – 2XL. See your local bike shop or visit www.cassons.com.au .

LAUGH OUT LOUD!

Rjays Jackal gloves Price - $69.95 If you’re after a basic, yet full 100% leather glove, the Rjays Jackal could have you laughing out loud with happiness (have

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have just released rider and pillion seats for the Ducati Multistrada, to make all your adventures even more enjoyable.

Visit www.touratech.com.au to purchase.

STYLISH FEET!

Bahn pegs Price - $139.99 US Bahn Pegs feature a large, flattened top design that provides superior foot support and traction compared to fully rounded pegs with less surface area.

The rubber inserts frame the upper perimeter of the housing to subtly reveal Bahn’s distinctive logo-free designs that are machined into the forged

you been taking your medication? – The Sub). The Jackal also features a high density moulded hard knuckle, perforated leather venting on fingers and back of hand, elasticated panels on knuckles and back of glove and a reinforced grip section. Available in both men’s (XS-3XL) and ladies (XS-XL) sizes. See your local bike shop, or visit www.cassons.com.au

WUNDER MASK

Wunderlich cockpit fairing – BMW R 1200 R - Price – From $199 Euro The new cockpit fairing for the BMW roadster from Wunderlich is a superior compromise between windshield and purism and also softens the front of the R. It gives a harmonious but also strong design instead of an unsightly view of the back side of the instruments.

The Wunderlich cockpit fairing is available in three versions: White with

red decorative stripes for the light white version of the R, thunder grey with silver stripes for the respective R model and unpainted for an original colour scheme. The light shield consists of nearly indestructible ABS plastic and is delivered with a light basic stainless steel holder. See your local Wunderlich distributor to get hold of one.

MULTIPLIED

Touratech seat – Ducati Multistrada Price – From $788.90 (rider) If you seek adventure, then you’ll know Touratech is the place to start. They

aluminium top centre plate of the peg.

The overall design is enhanced by matching forged aluminium end caps that flawlessly complement the rest of Bahn’s large product lineup for HarleyDavidson. Visit www.rolliespeedshop. com.au to purchase, or to view the entire range, jump onto www. bahnproducts.com/products/ bahn/4875/bahn-pegs 

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READER’S TRAVEL

THE LAST FRONTIER

RIDING ALASKA COULD JUST BE THE ULTIMATE COMBINATION OF NATURE AND A ROAD TRIP WORDS DR JAMES CRANDELL

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laska’s license plates read “The Last Frontier” and for many Americans a trip there is the ride of a lifetime. But the beautiful, natural vistas work for everybody. Alaska is big, really big, and the mountains, glaciers, rivers, and forests can be awe-inspiring. It’s a great place to tour by motorcycle.

Most Australians who visit Alaska take a cruise up the Inside Passage in the extreme southeast of the state and miss out on the variety and grandeur of the rest of the state.

I rode up the Alaska Highway from my home in Alberta, Canada, a distance of 3240 kilometres to Anchorage. I then joined an organized tour, which went to the Kenai Peninsula, then circumferentially toured the interior with an extension to the Arctic Circle and a trip to the port of Valdez. The scenery was spectacular.

Alaskans are friendly and sincere.

The close relationship they have with bordering Canada seems to have given them some of those Canadian traits. As

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with motorcycle touring everywhere, you’ll meet all sorts of characters along the way. The Alaskan version of this is the bearded, slightly rough-looking geezer who approaches your group and amiably gives you his often eccentric story of how he ended up in Alaska. I had to laugh when one of the guides complained of the time-wasting nature of these encounters.

While renting a motorcycle is quite easy for individuals or groups, I would recommend joining an organized tour.

Typically there are two guides, one riding a motorcycle and one driving a truck equipped with a spare motorcycle and emergency equipment. With our group of eight riders, including the guide, we rode for 7 days and had three flat tyres.

They were repaired or replaced on the roadside in a matter of minutes by our guides. You could be 200 kilometers away from any services and face a significant delay without this handy roadside luxury. Guides also are great as a source for those glorious bits of

local knowledge. Besides, you’ll meet some very interesting people on these organized tours.

Arguably, the BMW F800GS kitted up with combo tyres seems best suited to Alaska. With this bike you have the ability to travel on gravel and not be a slouch on the asphalt. The KLR 650 would also be appropriate. Motoquest, the rental and tour company I employed, is gradually converting its fleet to the BMW 650-800 model range. My BMW R1200GS was certainly adequate for the asphalt, but was a bit heavy and clumsy on the gravel. But you’ll see lots of Harleys in Alaska, too.

Riding in Alaska poses a few challenges. Expect to get some rain, especially in the coastal areas. Each day, our guides would tell us there was a 100% chance of rain and while it was a bit of an exaggeration, it paid to be prepared. So bring your best rain gear!

You should also bring an electric vest; even in the summer, it can be cold in the morning or if it rains. You will see

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bears, moose, deer, and, if you’re lucky, caribou on and by the roadside. Most of the time you can see them in plenty of time. However, when the bush beside the road is not cut back, a moose can appear suddenly. If you hit a moose at speed, you will die. Do not stop to get closer to a bear. They’re unpredictable and dangerous. When you see a bear on the highway, slow down and honk your horn. The bear will notice you, turn, and then start that slightly comical bear lope into the bush. Deer are like kangaroos: unpredictable, so slow down. I have motorcycled extensively in northern Canada, Alaska, and Newfoundland and I have never seen a caribou.

For the most part, roads in Alaska are built on the permafrost. Purportedly, with global warming, the permafrost is melting and this is causing havoc with the roads. There are sections of wildly undulating bitumen with potholes and rough parts. Long sections are under reconstruction. Even with these

challenges, the roads are generally good and I never felt particularly stressed by them.

The tour I took was called “The Best of Alaska” and it featured a good representation of the state. We visited the Kenai Peninsula, then made our way back through Anchorage and on to Fairbanks, passing Denali National Park, home of Mount McKinley (known locally as Mount Denali, the Athabascan name).

Denali is the tallest mountain in North America and is quite beautiful. From there we went to Fairbanks, the largest city north of Anchorage.

North of Fairbanks, the group went up the Dalton Highway to the Arctic Circle. Roads in Alaska are numbered, but everybody knows them by name.

This road is mostly gravel and we were blessed with perfect, dry conditions. It continues on to Prudhoe Bay on the Arctic Ocean but that was beyond the scope of our trip. There are organized trips specifically designed to get to the Arctic Ocean and a few hardy individuals try it on their own. For many of the Americans on the trip, it was very important to get to the Arctic Circle.

From Fairbanks, we headed south and to some of the most spectacular scenery in Alaska. At Delta Junction, we turned south on the Richardson Highway and made our way to Paxson and, from

Whodoyaget?

Motoquest (Motoquest.com) provides various motorcycle tours and rentals.

They are the biggest operator in Alaska and are located close to the Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport. If you are interested in touring in Alaska, their website would be your first stop. I also recommend you get a copy of The Milepost. This publication is updated yearly and is the definitive Alaska travel planner. Certainly, if you were planning to rent a bike, this guide would be invaluable. It can be obtained from Amazon as a soft-cover book or as an electronic version. You can book flights to Anchorage from Sydney with as few as one stop, usually Los Angeles or San Francisco. there, about twenty kilometers up the Denali Highway. We spent the night in a quaint and somewhat odd combination of roadside tavern-motel-petrol stationfishing lodge. It was quite basic, but charming in its own right.

The following day was magical and it encapsulated the best of Alaska. We left Paxson on the Richardson Highway and proceeded south through the bush.

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READER’S TRAVEL

The asphalt was good and the road was twisty. We eventually reached a tributary of the Gulkana River and the road broadened with nice, fast sweepers.

For lunch, we stopped at Glenallen, a hub of sorts where the Glenn Highway, bound for Anchorage in the west, intersects with the Richardson Highway.

In this town of 483 residents, we stopped for a delicious lunch…at a Thai takeout!

After lunch, we got back on the Richardson Highway To the east lay the spectacular Wrangell – St Elias Mountain Range, still snow-capped in July. As we left the plain of the Copper River we started a gradual ascent to the Chugach Range. Moose could be seen grazing by the roadside. We stopped and clambered up to the base of the Worthington Glacier. We passed large waterfalls by the roadside and entered spectacular canyons. The views kept getting better. Finally, we ascended the Thompson Pass: motorcycle heaven.

After doing a little off-pavement riding to get a better view of the mountains, we descended into the quaint and beautiful seaport of Valdez, the terminus of the Alaska pipeline. The sun was shining, of course. Exhausted and exhilarated, we had a great dinner of Alaskan king crab

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and a few adult beverages. I even won at billiards that night, a rarity for me. This was, quite simply, the best day I’ve ever spent on a motorcycle.

If you go to Alaska, spend at least two weeks there. A good sample of Alaska by motorcycle could take as little as one week. There are lots of other things to do there. Try salmon fishing on the Kenai Peninsula.

Take a sightseeing tour of Denali by floatplane. Hike in one of the parks. If you have nerdish tendencies, like myself, check out the museums in Fairbanks and Anchorage. I was especially impressed with the exhibits devoted to the indigenous peoples of Alaska.

The history of Alaska presented many surprises for me.

If you have more time, think about motorcycling the Alaska Highway to its origin in Canada. This road is even more interesting in the Canadian section and you will see more wild animals.

Interestingly, the highest point of the highway is in British Columbia. You’ll pass through Whitehorse and could easily make a side-trip to Dawson City, site of the Klondike gold rush in 1898. You can avoid taking the same route back by cutting back through Alberta and northern British Columbia via the Cassiar Highway. The Cassiar is one of my personal favourites and is the best road for viewing bears. On one trip, we counted nine on one day including a grizzly. With this loop, you could include the famous Banff-Jasper Highway, which even my American friends admit is spectacular. You would need about 3 weeks to complete this trip. 

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BOOK REVIEW

BONNEVILLE BUSTED? W

hat shall I tell you about Zoë Cano’s book? Note that’s not what could I tell you; I could tell you all sorts of things. But what can I tell you that makes sense and gives you a feel for the book?

I could be wrong but I think this is the first time I have faced this dilemma, and I have reviewed (and even written) quite a few books. This is not a strange book by any means; it’s pretty straightforward: woman decides to ride across America, makes the arrangements and gets across without any major delays or other problems.

Well, except for nearly going blind because she wears her contact lenses for too long.

One problem I found with the book is that it’s somewhat overblown. The cover line asks “How far would you go to make a dream come true?” and I have to say that I know quite a few people who have gone considerably further than riding a borrowed bike at a leisurely pace for 6000 miles through a First World country. Zoë herself doesn’t help when she keeps pointing out how “crazy” she is. The question here is – how crazy do you have to be to stay in upmarket b&bs?

And yet, and yet…

This makes Bonneville Go or Bust (even the title is odd) sound like one of those books which should “not… be tossed 1 Color- Grey Scale aside lightly. It should be thrown with

is that the motorcycle serves as little more than a transport device, and a source of other people’s admiration for Zoë’s alleged craziness. If you’re after motorcyclist-type experiences you will find few, and the importance of those is exaggerated almost comically. The purchase of a $2 air pressure gauge, for instance, “has to be the best two dollars I’ll ever spend”.

I could quote the blurb from the back of the book at this point, but that wouldn’t be fair because Zoë clearly didn’t write that herself.

But it’s just silly.

And yet, and yet…

I liked this book. I liked Zoë more; there’s an interesting and keenly intelligent (and dare I say it – nice) person tucked away in there. And as I say, despite being annoyed by the hyperbole, I read the book – right through.

I wouldn’t have done that if it wasn’t worth reading, would I? What it comes down to, I suspect, is that this is an enjoyable book if you can turn off the motorcyclist in the back of your mind who keeps saying things like, “Crazy?

Really?” PT  great force,” as Sid Ziff once wrote. But it’s not. I am not in the habit of finishing books for the sake of doing so. If I find a book dull or annoying, I don’t actually take the “great force” option (well, not often) but I do put books aside. I didn’t do that with Bonneville Go or Bust. I finished it, and I found myself liking Zoë quite a lot.

For a motorcyclist, the biggest problem with the book, apart from the fact that nothing much happens,

Bonneville Go or Bust ON THE ROADS LESS TRAVELLED Zoë Cano, Road Dog Publications ISBN 978-1-890623-43-2 452 pages, a few b&w illustrations As a print book US$22.95, available from Road Dog. Also available as an e-book from Amazon

1 Color- Black and White

2 Color- Black and Red

2015 35th Anniversary Logo Sheet

1 Color Black - Grey Scale

Full Color - CMYK or RGB

Mustang Seats Wing Their Way to Australia

Full Color - CMYK or RGB

1 Color- Black and White

MustangSeats.com White: Grey: C-0,M-0,Y-0,K-0 C-0,M-0,Y-0,K-50 R-255,G-255,B-255 R-145,G-145,B-145 PMS Cool Gray 8 C

2 Color- Black and Red

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Mustang Seats Logo Color Specifications

Black: Red: C-0,M-0,Y-0,K-100 C-0,M-100,Y-100, K-0 R-0,G-0,B-0 R-255, G-0, B-0 PMS Black C PMS 485 C

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©2015 Mustang Motorcycle Products, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Visit www.MustangSeats.com for all Logos & Usage Rights. 04-16-15

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Gradient Grey Scale

LONG TERMERS

small amount of time (oh puh-leeze! – the sub) I’ll have off over Christmas.

Even bikes deserve presents! SW

YAMAHA MT-07 RIZOMA PROGUARD SYSTEM

HAPPIER THAN A… YEAH,YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN!

YAMAHA MT-07 The MT-07 has 6500km on it as I type this just before Christmas, and it has run faultlessly. I expected no less, but

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you never know what could or might happen to any machine. Its next service is due at 10,000km or about March (whichever comes first), however I’ve got some lovely Yamalube oil at home and might give it a quick change during the

Price - $165 Euros Available locally; see web for dealers Protecting that front brake lever is paramount for anyone who’s had the misfortune of having it accidently lock the brake while maybe hitting a car mirror while lane filtering or something like that. A safeguard system like the Rizoma Proguard is not only the most stylish way to get the protection you need; they’re also of the highest quality.

I fitted the Proguard system to our long term Yamaha MT-07 and while I haven’t “tested” it, I know that if I do accidently touch something or in the event of a crash, I’ll know my levers will not activate or break off.

Fitment was dead simple – undo the bar ends, fit the new ones included with

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the Proguard system, adjust the height in-line with the brake and clutch levers and I was done!

You might see the Rizoma Proguard system being used for the front brake lever in MotoGP or World Superbike, poor Marquez mustn’t have had a Rizoma product when he clashed with Rossi in that fateful Sepang race, because I have no doubt that if he’d had a Proguard on there, he wouldn’t have crashed from running into the back of Rossi’s leg. There are several Rizoma dealers in Australia, seek them out to get the best aftermarket accessories available, or visit www.rizoma.com to salivate and make your wish list! SW

DUCATI SCRAMBLER OGGY KNOBBS & AXLE OGGYS Price - $185 – Oggys Price - $99 (front), $99 (rear) – Axle Oggys In the event that The Bear drops the sparkly Ducati Scrambler he is now unlikely to damage it at all with the fitment of both the Oggy Knobbs and Axle Oggys, front and rear.

When the high quality Oggy products arrived from distributor Kenma, I fitted the Axle Oggys straight away, which took all of a couple of minutes. They

simply slide through the axle and are tightened with a ratchet.

The Oggy Knobbs required a bit more attention. The exhaust on the Scrambler is not bolted together, rather it’s held together with springs, similar to what you might find on a race type exhaust system. This can result in the pipes not always being in the “ideal” position and in this case the pipe was blocking access to the frame bolt.

A simple tap with a rubber hammer was all that was needed to get the pipe fitting better and then it was a matter of placing a jack under the engine to keep it supported, undoing the main engine bolt, removing it and replacing it with

0 0 2 1 + years

(formerly Ferris Wheels Safaris)

20 days: Mexico, Tacos & Tequila Guatemala, Belize

Life is a

daring adventure or nothing at all www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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LONG TERMERS

the new Oggy Knobb bolt before fitting up the Oggy Knobbs to it, tightening, releasing the jack and, bingo! All done.

So, if you have a Scrambler and are trying to fit Oggys but find that the exhaust is in the way, you now know what to do to make it right.

We’ve fitted many Oggy Knobbs to bikes over the years and loved them each and every time. The fit and finish to superb and you know they haven’t just made

some bits of plastic to look like it will do something in a crash, you can see that thought has gone into making sure that minimal if any damage is done to the major components of your bike, and that’s what makes them the best on the market.

See your local bike shop, or visit www. kenma.com.au to purchase. SW The Oggy Knobbs are fairly ogg-vious (sorry) on the Scrambler, and I have

had a fair few comments about them from onlookers. All I can say is that while I do understand the concern that they might bend the frame in a serious crash, I don’t agree with it. If I hit the ground that hard I would not expect to re-use the frame anyway… when and if I got out of hospital. If you have a bike that you value particularly, I don’t see why you wouldn’t fit Oggys. PT 

Intriguing Southeast Europe

12 years

MAy 25 - June 8 I Aug 23 - Sept 6

Serbia, Bulgaria, Macedonia, Albania, Kosovo

Ride roads less travelled www.adriaticmototours.com

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MOTORCYCLIST TOURS LASTCE. CHAN N GET I K! QUIC

EXPERIENCE PURE NIRVANA RIDE THE LAND OF PARADISE

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oin the next Trip of a Lifetime with MOTORCYCLIST and Paradise Motorcycle Tours NZ. Our 2016 Hiamo South Island tour will run from 26 Jan to 6 Feb 2016 – 11 days of glorious roads and scenery that will knock your socks off. Everyone who came on the 2015 Hiamo Tour was stunned at the amazing sights and even more amazing roads.

For 2016 we have more riding, more scenery – Kaikoura, Hanmer Springs Thermal Resort, Lewis Pass and Buller Gorge Road - more of the wild West Coast and a free day to explore the Otago Peninsula.

So from the front or back of your nearnew rental bike (the most up to date fleet in NZ) you’ll experience even more of the South Island, and this time we go anti-clockwise!

Another guide has been added, too.

With the high demand for this tour, Paradise Motorcycle Tours is adding a second motorcycle guide, which means

there can be two groups, each with a guide, to maximize your safety and enjoyment.

More options are another benefit of having two guides. You can take a shorter route on some days to relax and explore the final day’s destination, or enjoy a longer route for maximum riding time and sights from the saddle.

I really look forward to seeing you there, if you want the best time of your life and want to experience the highest state of happiness that you could attain, remember to book as early as possible, because this will be a very popular tour. SW Booking: Contact Paradise Motorcycle Tours on Ph: +64 9473 9404, email info@paradisemotorcycletours.co.nz or visit the website www.paradisemotorcycletours.co.nz

BAND A Bike/s up to 800cc

BAND B Bike/s over 800cc

Here is a quick rundown of the tour: Day one -

Christchurch to Hanmer Springs (via Kaikoura) Day two – Hanmer Springs to Punakaiki Day three – Punakaiki to Franz Josef: Choose from two ride options today.

Day four – Franz Josef to Queenstown Day five – Free day to explore Queenstown Day six – Queenstown to Te Anau: Choose from two riding options today.

Day seven – Milford Sound: with a two hour cruise on the Sound.

Day eight – Te Anau to Dunedin Day nine – Free day to explore Dunedin Day ten – Dunedin to Tekapo Day eleven – Tekapo to Christchurch

BAND C Bike/s over 1200cc

11 DAY SOUTH ISLAND GUIDED MOTORCYCLE TOUR WITH AUSTRALIAN MOTORCYCLIST MAGAZINE AOTEAROA DELUXE PRICING Couple, 1 bike, share double Rider, own room 2 riders, 2 bikes, share twin

$6700 $10400 $8300

$7300 $11500 $9175

$7465 $11830 $9505

11 DAY SOUTH ISLAND GUIDED MOTORCYCLE TOUR WITH AUSTRALIAN MOTORCYCLIST MAGAZINE KIA ORA KIWI PRICING Couple, 1 bike, share double Rider, own room 2 riders, 2 bikes, share twin

$4069 $7116 $5058

$4344 $7666 $5610

$4509 $7996 $5940

Early Arrival Option **Highly Recommended** Be rested and ready for the tour of a lifetime with the addition of an early arrival option.

Remember that this guided tour is fully supported by the Paradise staff in their van and the professionalism is top class, to make sure that you’ll have the best time possible!

The cost – Please Note: All tour prices are PER PERSON in New Zealand dollars inclusive of GST and you have the choice of two variations.The Deluxe tour covers petrol and most breakfasts and dinners and a higher level of accommodation. If you choose the Kia Ora tour, you buy your own petrol and all meals (other than the welcome and farewell dinners)

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CLASSIC MORRIS

DOUGHTY DOWTY

LESTER EXTOLS THE VIRTUE OF OLEOS – AND WHAT ARE THEY AGAIN? WORDS LESTER MORRIS

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f you look closely at heavy trucks, semi-trailers and buses, you might notice that nearly all of them are using various forms of ‘air-bag’ suspension on all wheels these days, and are doing this for a large variety of reasons; mostly in the interests of a more pliable, more comfortable ride no doubt, but also to give the cargo - some of which may be fragile - an easier time as well.

But the vendors of these ‘newage’ suspension systems, who are trumpeting their worth as something out of the ordinary might be interested to note that there is nothing new about using air – or other gases like nitrogen – as a highly effective suspension medium.

I owned no fewer than three Citroen ID19 and DS21 cars at different times in many years gone by, the wheels of which were suspended upon pressurized nitrogen-filled metal spheres, which employed inbuilt rubber diaphragms controlled by hydraulic pressure. This ‘new’ medium was introduced in the odd-looking, spaceship-like cars in 1954, imbuing the large cars with a glorious, ‘magic carpet’ ride. Happily, the company continues to use this marvelous suspension system to this day in its new range of luxury limousines.

‘What has that load of useless information got to do with us?’ I hear you cry yet again.

Well, air suspension has been used on a (very) few motorcycles from as far back as 1908, you may be reliably informed, and I suggest it should be used more often today, that’s what it’s got to do with us!

A company called ‘Associated

Springs Limited’, to be called ‘Air Springs Limited’ from 1911 onwards, built a motorcycle called the ASL which was exhibited at a British motorcycle show in 1910. The ASL was a typical, belt-driven motorcycle which - quite un-typically - employed air suspension on both ends. The front telescopic forks were of the trailing-link pattern, with a very modern-looking swing-arm rear suspension. Perched atop the front forks sat a small chamber which was filled with pressurized air, the rear sub-frame also employing air chambers. The marque disappeared, along with many others, as war was declared in 1914.

An earlier, and very similar, ASL motorcycle built c.1908, which was fitted with a Fafnir engine, the publicity blurb stating – quite accurately, I might add – ‘the elasticity of steel is confined to very narrow limits, while the elasticity of (compressed) air is unlimited.’ Part of the publicity was a drawing which showed a man gleefully riding the ASL while a large banner accurately proclaimed that he was ‘Riding on Air’. The air chambers could be inflated to whatever pressure a rider might have required, the suspension medium introduced via the agency of an ordinary, celluloid ‘Bluemels’ bicycle pump.

In passing, the small Bluemels hand pump was supplied as standard equipment with every post-WW2 British motorcycle I ever sat upon. In this application, it differed from the pushbike variety in the employment of a small stirrup to stand upon if – or more likely when! – a motorcycle tyre

of that period needed to be re-inflated after its rubber inner tube had suddenly decided to leak for some unaccountable reason. This always resulted in some strange handling indeed, which was sometimes followed swiftly by an involuntary – and quite unacceptable - excursion into the roadside shrubbery, or, should the worst come to the worst, a sudden, close acquaintance with an unyielding road surface.

One always carried a trio of small tyre levers and a handy vulcanizing kit in one’s small toolbox, which, allied to the essential box of matches which were also close to hand, soon resulted in a quite satisfactory roadside repair. The small hand pump could then be used most effectively in filling the bright-red inner-tube with life-giving air. The little pump did the job well enough, but it was slow work because the shaft of the celluloid pump over-heated very quickly as a result of friction generated by the little leather washer’s passage through the device’s brass-lined shaft. The pong of hot celluloid didn’t help much, either!

While employed in one motorcycle store or another over very many years, I must have sold many hundreds of those confounded pumps, and even more of the small – but highly efficient – vulcanizing repair kits.

Hard to believe though this may be for modern motorcyclists, you have my permission to double-check what I have stated about inner tube repair with any elderly motorcyclist you know (of), if you should require proof of this information.

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And, yes, it appears I have been dragged off the track yet again.

Sorry about that!

In 1936 the works KTT Velocette road-race machines were fitted with very modern-looking swing-arm rear suspension for the first time, the new frame employing ‘Oleomatic’ air suspension units (again for the first time), which were manufactured especially for Velocette by George Dowty. Dowty had already been involved with somewhat larger, if quite similar, units designed for the undercarriage of light aircraft. The units were very similar to modern-day spring/damper units which are fitted to the rear end of current machines, but the working parts on the original Oleos were shrouded by gaiter-like leather sleeves.

Initially fitted to the 350cc machines, the Oleo struts were incorporated into the works 500cc racers as well in 1937 but, as could be expected, any form of air suspension is only as good as its seals would allow it to be. This proved to be the case with that design, for a set of air-sprung hydraulically-damped units which might start a race functioning perfectly, were sometimes known to run out of puff before race’s end, which could then result in an unwanted return from a nice, plush ride, to the previous years’ rigid frame.

But the Velocette swing-arm frame, with its upright shock/damper units, while by no means the first of its type, has become the norm for virtually every motorcycle built on the planet today. That tiny British firm of Veloce Limited was also the first company on

earth to design the ‘positive-stop’, foot gear-change for its racing motorcycles way back in 1929, a feature again used on every half-way decent motorcycle built on the planet today.

That same company also invented the modern-day dual seat, which was initially installed upon their racing machines and for which a British Patent was awarded.

After the war, Velocette motorcycles were fitted with the new, air-sprung Dowty ‘Oleomatic’ telescopic front forks especially designed for them by George and his team (the rear ends were unaccountable un-sprung), the new forks also fitted to Panther, Scott and EMC motorcycles, while other manufacturers, who were less wellknown, may well have used these front forks as well. As before, the pro-active suspension medium, while initially allowing for a long travel and an extremely comfortable ride, was only as good as its air seals allowed it to be, and again the Dowty forks, which must have been made in their thousands, were often less than ideal.

Atop the Dowty forks sat a Schrader valve, very similar to the type fitted to a tyre’s inner tube, which a rider could use to inflate the forks with air (which, inevitably, has some damaging water vapor within it) to whatever pressure might be needed, but sometimes it might have been a good idea to leave your Bluemels pump still attached to the valve and dangling in the breeze, so that a squirt or two of extra compression could be applied at about every four or five sets of traffic lights!

When riding any of the machines which might be fitted with leaking

front forks one could actually feel the effect a sagging front fork had upon the comfort, and finally the handling, of a bike as the air-suspension lost most of its effectiveness when the forks slowly subsided.

There were no fewer than twelve (12) sets of seals to control the air and hydraulic damping in the Dowty forks, and they worked well for a time, but would eventually need to be replaced due to the material hardening; to wear; the ingress of dust or water; or simply because they became slightly oval due to the flexing of the fork tubes - or a slightly compromised surface. Great through the sprung front forks were at their best, it was clearly very difficult to maintain a seal for pressurized air in those conditions.

Somebody, somewhere, suddenly discovered that the steel springs fitted to Royal Enfield front forks were a perfect fit within the Dowty fork tubes and so, with the necessary modifications to the hydraulic damping, a nice compromise could be achieved, which allowed the forks to continue to look like the original Dowty components, while proving to be (almost) as effective.

Naturally, because of the simple mechanics of Nature, compressed air suspension is pro-active and very smooth in its operation, to which any fortunate Citroen owner will gladly attest, while steel springs are far more inert and are thus, at best, reactive.

Today, there are many manufacturers of quite efficient nitrogen-filled gas struts which are fitted to many modern motor vehicles, which can, and do, enjoy very long lives. The makers have

0 0 2 1 + years

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Awesome Andes 22 days: Peru, Chile, Bolivia Life is a

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WHAT SAY YOU?

W

E LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU, the letters are among the most keenly read parts of the magazine. Please try and keep letters down to no more than 300 words. Then you can read many, not just a couple. We do reserve the right to cut them and, unless you identify yourself and at least your town or suburb and state, we will print your email address instead. Please address letters to thebear@ausmotorcyclist.com.au or Australian Motorcyclist Magazine, PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111. All opinions published here are those of the writers and we do not vouch for their accuracy or even their sanity!

worth reading.You can probably see where I,m coming from. I don’t often write in about anything but I just felt you need to reassess and get back to what you should be doing and that is providing a mag with relevant and informative articles and stories rather than padding up an advertising catalogue with rubbish put in under the guise of “commentaries” and “humour”.

Kevin Jones Wollongong

TOO MUCH RUBBISH Well I just bought my last issue

ever of Australian motorcyclist.I’ve been riding bikes for the best part of 36 years and have read all sorts of bike mags in that time.Here is my opinion/feedback for what its worth.I purchased the December 2015 issue and basically paid 10 bucks for an advertising catalogue.114 page issue and there were a total of 45 pages of ads.Thats not far off from being half the mag there.Then was 14 – yes 14 – pages of self promotion of the USA ride.

Do you guys even read what rubbish is in the ramblings written by Boris and Bearfaced as well as 2 1/2 pages of nothing by Lester Morris on watching a guy set up a mobile speed camera and a 2 page “article” on roadworks.Get real guys.People are spending 10 bucks for your mag and want to read actual informative articles.All I got from the mag that was about actual biking were 2 maps and very minimal stories [if you take away the big pics] on new bikes these being 1 1/3 pages on the KTM 1290 , 1 page on on the MT07, 2 ½ pages of info on the H2, a 2 page article on a ride south of Sydney and only 1 page on the new Triumph bonnies [which was touted as a highlight on the cover.] That’s about 9 pages of anything

SEE (SIC) THE WORLD Hi Stuart, Due to a recent trip I accumulated a backlog of mag reading so have only just got to the June AMM. I was delighted to read your comparo on the 5 big tourers, including my ride the Triumph Trophy SE, which I’ve had since launch. I know these bikes are a bit of a niche so there are not too many (ah, like zip) articles about them. The last time you covered the SE was when you did the test ride in NZ when they were first launched in April 2013. I have ridden the BMW 1600 and the Kawa

GTR and in my limited experience with them I generally agree with your review.

Just wondered why you didn’t review the BMW 1200 RT or similar which would have been a better comparison (to the SE at least). My only disappointment with the SE is its brakes, otherwise a wonderful touring and fun bike.

Just one correction on your specs on the SE, the servicing intervals you note as 10,000 km (or 12 months), its actually 10,000 miles / 16,000 km (or 12 months), which is one of the beauties of this bike.

And I know consumption stats can

vary wildly but I keep an exact record of every trip and all fuel used, and over 24,000km I’ve averaged 4.9 l/km (mostly 2-up) using premium 95.

With a 26 litre tank (damn good for long trips) my theoretical range is 532 km.

I have often done over 500km between fills, one trip I did 542 km and it still had 2litres on board.

On a separate note altogether you will recall the article I wrote about our trip to the North Island of NZ that you published in October 2014. We loved the trip so much Philippa and I went back again this March, hired the same BMW

WHO CAN HAZ BAGZ?

T

ime to make a call on who deserves the excellent Andy Strapz Shoulda Bagz bag. In the January issue we gave it to Peter Colwell, who lost his previous bag to airline mishandling. I thought it was only reasonable, then, to give this issue’s Shoulda Bagz to Kevin Jones who spits the dummy, below. I consider that a misfortune, too – for Kevin. Oh, just to make sure we would not be accused of making changes we are reproducing the letter exactly the way it arrived.

Yes, Kevin, we do see where you’re coming from. It’s hard to miss. But the advertising is what makes the magazine affordable for you (and interests many readers) and the editorial content is what sets us apart from other publications in the field.

We sell more copies than all but one or two of them, so it seems likely that our rubbish is rubbish that people are interested in reading. Except you, of course, and I’m sorry about that. Oh, you’ll have to send us your postal address so we can get Andy to send you the Shoulda Bagz. We promise not to send Boris around to “deliver” it – The Bear

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WHAT SAY YOU?

1600 GT from Paradise in Auckland, then in the Bay of Islands we “tied the knot”.

Archer And they say that Australia is dangerous!

Imagine going for a ride and coming back married! We did think of the R1200RT, but found the power compared to the others lacking, hence didn’t include it and went for the 1600. Thanks for the correction on the servicing – Stuart FOR THE DEFENCE Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear. I am absolutely dismayed at the editorial in the latest edition of Australian Motorcyclist that denigrates the NSWMCC and its effort (or according to you Stuart, lack of effort) at the recent MAW event. This now follows on from an unfortunate effort in the previous editorial on helmet cameras.

The NSWMCC as you would no doubt know, is a non-profit organisation and administered and run by volunteers who do their very best to ensure that motorcycling gets a fair go when it comes to consideration and inclusion

in transport administration and enforcement. It has next to no budget, relying on support from the motorcycling community and yet has achieved an array of impressive ‘successes’ over the years for motorcyclists, some of which have been claimed by other organisations when in fact the NSWMCC did the real legwork in the advocacy. I am certain that the Chairman of the NSWMCC will remind you of at least some of these in his response to your latest editorial, that I imagine will be on its way to you shortly.

Now specifically to MAW, the event has been promoted on the NSWMCC Facebook site, as well as in print and radio media, including a number of regional sites. I know this for a fact as I am involved in promoting MAW in the Goulburn district and we have both local newspaper and radio support for the event. TV ads are far beyond the budget of the NSWMCC, even though funding for the event is provided by the Govt, it goes to a whole range of logistical requirements to stage the events across NSW. I note that when Australian

Motorcyclist kicked off, there were many motorcyclist mag readers that stated that they didn’t even know about Australian Motorcyclist until it had been our for a while – and I’m sure you had a far more impressive advertising budget than the NSWMCC. Again, I’m sure that the NSWMCC Chairman will provide you with some detail on how the event was promoted.

Now for the salient issue here Stuart that you seem to have missed: MAW is NOT an opportunity for a bunch of motorcyclists to get together for a rally or a piss-up or a café run or any such thing. In fact, it’s not even targeted for motorcyclists per se at all but rather motorcycling. MAW is designed and targeted to the NONMOTORCYCLING public in an attempt to improve awareness and consideration for motorcyclists. It’s not the aim or intent of MAW to get lots of motorcyclists congregating around, rather the opposite in fact, to get the message of motorcycling within the midst of where non-motorcycling people are congregating.

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What an absolute shame and disappointment that you have felt it necessary to lambast the NSWMCC publicly in your magazine rather than offer to help the NSWMCC with the ‘reach’ that your magazine has. Why would you seek to grandstand your opinion in your magazine rather than, if you had such concern, contacting the NSWMCC and asking the questions that concerned you, so that you might then write an informed editorial that provided balanced comment? If you are not interested in balanced comment, then you certainly are becoming another Boris, despite your past claim that you are not.

Wow. I have only just the other day renewed my subscription to Australian Motorcyclist, even though I was quite unimpressed with your editorial about helmet cameras as I completely disagree with what you had to say about them and in fact I found a few of your comments in that editorial insulting with respect to riders’ choices and likewise, a few of my riding compatriots who choose to ride with helmet cameras. Now this

unfortunate and unjustified tirade against the NSWMCC. Had I read this latest editorial a couple of days earlier, I would not have renewed my subscription.

Regards Peter Ivanoff Goulburn, NSW Peter, Stuart replied directly to you and addressed the points you make, but I thought I’d just add my two bob’s worth.

Helmet cameras? Are they worth the risk? I think the jury is out on that one.

Support for action groups? I have given a great deal of space to various motorcycle action groups over the years, and I’m proud that I did. I think I am still the only motorcycle journo to get a bronze plaque from the (old) Victorian MRA in recognition of my support. But that doesn’t mean that these groups are always right. An old rule says that if you can’t get support for something, don’t do it. This event was clearly intended to showcase numbers of motorcyclists, and the numbers were not there. What were all the clubs which make up the MCCNSW doing? Did they

encourage their members to attend? If they did, the small numbers were even more of a disgrace. If they didn’t, they should probably take a close look at themselves in the mirror – The Bear PETER HIDES HIS PANTS Bear, AMM Number 35, page 113: “You do not have to have lots of horsepower to pull spectacular crashes...”

Indeed. The scene was Rarotonga, in the Cook Islands. The circular island has only one road, a circular one right around the island. Funny that. The occasion was my honeymoon, the obligatory bike was a small two stroke scooter - in poor condition, with a bent front wheel.

We went around the island several times, and decided to pull up in front of a shop. This meant leaving the tar and crossing a narrow gravel strip. Bingo, the wonky front wheel went to full lock, down we went, sprawled in the gravel, right in front of other tourists and honeymooners, how embarrassment!

Mark ll was a little different. I did not

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NEW BIKE PRICES

N

ew motorcycle prices go up, they go down. It can be hard to keep track of all the changes. Australian Motorcyclist Magazine supplies you with all the latest up to date prices

APRILIA

www.aprilia.com.au ROAD RS4 125 RS4 125 SBK Shiver Sport 750 ABS Dorsoduro 750 ABS Dorsoduro Factory ABS Mana 850 Automatic Tuono V4 1100 RR Tuono V4 1100 Factory RSV4 RR RSV4 RR Race Pack RSV4 RF LE Dorsoduro 1200 ABS ADV SPORT Caponord 1200 ABS Caponord 1200 Rally SCOOTERS Sportcity One 125 SR MT 125 Mojito 125 Scarabeo 200 ie Sportcity Cube 300 Sportcity 300 Street Scarabeo 300 ie SR Max 300 Scarabeo 500 ie SRV850

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BENELLI

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BIMOTA

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BMW

www.bmwmotorrad.com.au ROAD G 310 R F 800 R F 800 GT S 1000 R S 1000 RR R Nine T R 1200 R R 1200 R Sport R 1200 R Exclusive R 1200 RS R 1200 RS Exclusive R 1200 RT K 1300 R K 1300 S K 1300 S Motorsport K 1600 GT K 1600 GT Sport K 1600 GTL K 1600 GTL Exclusive ADV SPORT S 1000 XR ADV TOURING G 650 GS G 650 GS Sertao F 700 GS F 700 GS LS F 800 GS

F 800 GS LS F 800 GSA R 1200 GS R 1200 GSA SCOOTER C 600 Sport C 600 Sport SE C 650 GT C 650 GT SE C 650 GT SE LS

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BRAAAP

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$2999 $3999

CAN-AM (BRP) www.brp.com

*All prices are ride away ROAD Spyder RS SM5 Spyder RS S Red SE5 Spyder RS S Wht SE5 F3S SM5 F3S SE5 Spyder ST S SE5 Spyder ST Ltd SE5 Spyder RT SM6 Spyder RT S SE6 Spyder RT Ltd SE6

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all prices (unless indicated) exclude dealer and on road costs and some prices may have changed at the last minute as we went to the printer.

from all the manufacturers currently in the country.

Things like special deals, cashbacks, factory discounts and bonuses are what you’ll find. Bear in mind

$TBA $13,100 $16,300 $19,290 $22,990 $21,250 $21,950 $22,350 $22,350 $22,950 $23,250 $30,790 $21,990 $23,990 $28,990 $35,990 $36,490 $37,590 $42,500 $22,190 $9990 $10,990 $12,890 $13,140 $16,690

ROAD X132 Hellcat X132 Hellcat Combat X132 Hellcat Speedster R131 Fighter R135 Wraith Combat

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HARLEY-DAVIDSON www.harley-davidson.com

* All Harley-Davidson prices are ride away CRUISER Street 500 $10,750 XL883L SuperLow $14,995 XL883N Iron 883 $14,995 XL1200V Seventy-Two $18,495 XL1200C Custom $18,750 XL1200X Forty-Eight $19,250 XL1200T SuperLow $19,495 FXDB Street Bob $22,495 FXDL Low Rider $23,495 FXDB Street Bob Special $23,995 FXDWG Wide Glide $24,995 FXDF Fat Bob $25,495 FLD Switchback $26,250 FLS Softail Slim $26,495 FLSS Softail Slim S $28,995 FLSTFB Fat Boy Lo $28,995 FLSTF Fat Boy $29,250 FLSTFBS Fat Boy S $31,495 FLSTN Softail Deluxe $29,250 FXSB Breakout $29,750 FLSTC Heritage Softail Classic $32,250 FLHR Road King $32,495 FLTRXS Road Glide Special $34,750 FLHXS Street Glide Special $34,995 FLHTK Ultra Limited $38,250 VRSC Muscle $27,495 VRSC Night Rod Special $27,995 CVO FLHXSE Street Glide $47,495 FLTRUSE Road Glide Ultra $48,995 FLHTKSE Ultra Limited $50,995

$6299

DUCATI

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$23,990 $TBA $27,990 $28,490

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GSX650F/LAMS GSR750 GSX-R750 GSX-S1000 GSX-S1000F GSX-R1000 GSF1250S Bandit ABS GSX1250FA GSX1300R Hayabusa CRUISER VL250 Intruder VL650 S40 VL800 C50T VZ800 M50 VZ1500 C90T VLR1800T C109RT VZR1800 M109R VZR1800 M109R Blk VZR1800Z M109R SE ADV TOURING DR200S DR650SE DL650 V-Strom DL650 V-Strom LAMS DL650 V-Strom XT DL1000 V-Strom SCOOTER AN200A Burgman ABS AN650A Burgman ABS

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SYM

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TGB

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TORINO

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TRIUMPH

www.triumphmotorcycles.com.au *Some Triumph prices are ride away ROAD Street Triple 660 Street Triple Street Triple R Street Triple RX Daytona 675 Daytona 675 ABS Daytona 675R Bonneville Std Bonneville Std TT Bonneville T100 Bonneville T100 SE Bonneville T100 Black Bonneville T100 Spirit

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7/01/2016 8:20 pm

FROM THE CAVE

BEAR FACED

ROUGH RALLYING

“W

hat,” said Stuart, “is this?” He was referring to the photo above, of a noticeably younger, slimmer and more handsome version of myself steering a postie bike up onto a wooden seesaw.

“It is a photo of a younger, slimmer and more handsome version of myself about to disastrously crash a postie bike at one of the Triumph rallies at the Station Resort, Jindabyne,” I replied.

“I can see the crash coming by the body English,” Stuart replied. “But what were you doing riding a postie bike on a seesaw in the first place?”

Ah, the innocence of youth. I guess a lot of riders don’t attend rallies anymore, even lovingly arranged ones like the Triumph Rallies. Or perhaps the fashion for destroying bikes and riding reputations has waned?

Once upon a time no rally was complete without one or more idiots performing burnouts until their rear tyre popped.

Usually these geniuses did not have spare tyres to get them home, or even the funds to purchase same. Inevitably there’d be a bloke coming around with a tin cup asking for donations so that the idiot or idiots could be supplied with second hand tyres from the local bike shop, or even occasionally new ones.

One year in, I think, Tasmania one of these performers broke his chain before the tyre went. The chain whipped forward and took out the engine casing before encountering his boot. After walking around rapidly with his jaws clenched for a while, the rider threw a match into the resulting mess and then attempted to claim the insurance. I seem to remember that the insurance company refused to pay up because they refused to believe the details on the form.

And who could forget the egg and spoon races, where the pillion sat backwards on the bike holding a long spoon which in turn held an egg. The idea here was to ride as fast as possible to a marker, around it and back to the starting line without losing the egg, or indeed the pillion. One year we had a lengthy meeting of the stewards to decide whether projectile vomiting by the pillion, who had been introduced to Stone’s Green Ginger Wine the night before, was grounds for disqualification. The eventual judgement was that it was not, unless the egg was somehow glued to the spoon by the ejecta.

You didn’t need a bike to maltreat your stomach, either.

Take a broom and hold it up vertically above your head, bristles uppermost. Then keep turning around, all the while watching the bristled end. After only a few rotations you will feel about the same as you would if you’d taken a

handful of really cheap drugs and chased them down with a goodly swallow of cask mortadella. No, madeira. Geez, it’s affecting me even writing about it.

It’s fascinating just how different blokes are when they’re out in the countryside with their bike, some mates and copious quantities of drink. A mate from Brisbane, commonly known as the Deputy, has a theory that without women, blokes would just live in lean-tos in the bush which would be supplied with electricity only to run a fridge and a big-screen TV. He may have something there, you know.

These days most habitations at rallies are proper tents, equipped with sleeping bags and even air mattresses. Once upon a time, rallygoers would have claimed the underside of any nearby bridge or scoured the countryside for unwanted sheets of rusty corrugated iron or discarded horse blankets. They would then have built a fire, being careful to use “no fires” signs as fuel before anything else, and sat around wondering what they were going to eat. After a while the copious supplies of cask wine would have made this concern unnecessary. It would also have made any shelter, bridge or corrugated iron, unnecessary because they would have passed out around the fire.

In the morning they would then occasionally have performed feats of skill such as riding such a postie bike over a wooden seesaw. Or not, as the case might have been…  Photo by Mary Chiodo.

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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5/01/2016 6:01 pm

BORIS

WANK WEEK L

et me raise your awareness for a second. Let me demonstrate how awareness should be raised, and then we can all go about our business with grace and dignity, fully cognisant of life’s many ironies.

Recently, there was a thing called “Motorcycle Awareness Week” (MAW).

You were probably unaware of it. And you cannot be blamed for that.

The people running it are not very good at marketing.

But you’re aware of it now. Because I am an order of magnitude better at marketing than they are.

So what is it? Well, the NSW Motorcycle Council (NSWMCC) states, in tortured syntax and bad grammar, that it is: “a campaign to raise the awareness of drivers and others to motorcycles on the road and to raise the awareness of riders to risk management”.

I can and will expound at length about the NSWMCC another time, and in painful, surgical detail (because it will make their porridge-filled heads explode), but in this column I would like to deal with its MAW. Let’s work backwards…

Is there a rider out there somewhere who is somehow not aware of the fact that riding motorcycles is dangerous?

No? I didn’t think so. Now then, were you made more aware of motorcycling’s inherent risk by MAW? Once again, the answer is no. You knew it was dangerous from the get-go or, I submit, you wouldn’t be doing it. After all, it’s only as fun as it is because it’s dangerous.

Now then, car drivers were also targeted by MAW, so that their awareness could be raised about the fact that there are motorcycles on the road.

Well, hell yes! It’s entirely possible, though highly unlikely, that there are car drivers out there who will not know that motorcycles are on the road. But I’m pretty sure that 99.99 per cent of them are aware of that fact. That they don’t give a shit is another matter, but they do know we’re there.

114

So does MAW raise the awareness of the car drivers who aren’t aware of motorcycles being on the road?

No. How could it do that?

But if someone from the NSWMCC could provide some data that would prove MAW does what it sets out to do, I would be grateful.

And thus would I be made aware that I am wrong.

See how this works, muppets?

But I am not wrong.

Now MAW is also targeted at raising the awareness of “others”. And this may well be where MAW’s great successes lie. I don’t know. I don’t know because I do not know who those others are. They could well be dancing bears. Or glassy-eyed streetwalkers.

Or traveling gypsies. All of whom are now aware of motorcyclists being on the road thanks to MAW. Apparently.

We should all exhale with relief at this achievement.

Let us now move to the “how” of this raising awareness shit.

The NSWMCC states: “A wide range of events is planned, running from 10 October to 7 November”, and that one could find these events on the EVENTS page of its website. So I looked. There was nothing there that corresponded to those dates.

What’s the go there, you chancing twatters? Did someone forget to put the events up? Damn poor form from the entirely self-proclaimed “peak body for motorcycling” in NSW. Then it dawned on me. Perhaps no MAW events were necessary to raise awareness. Perhaps simply by creating MAW, awareness was raised.

Job done. Good work and merit badges all ’round.

Yeah. That must be it.

I must now pause to swallow the vomit that has worked its way into my mouth.

Is there a more abysmally stupid and intellectually offensive word pairing on earth than “raising awareness”?

Somehow, we as motorcyclists, still permit these volunteer-based covens of self-aggrandisement to freely engage

in this type of pointless circle-jerking.

To pretend to do something, while actually doing nothing is surely worthy of nothing but contempt.

Raising awareness has become the highest form of social activism, precisely because it is so utterly pointless and self-defeating and requires absolutely nothing from those who purport to raise whatever awareness they feel needs raising.

It is bullshit. Those who engage in it are bullshit artists.

Raising awareness insults the intelligence of every person on this planet because it presumes we are all stupid. Fools who are unaware of some drum that needs beating, and that by making us aware of the drum, the drum gets beaten.

Except it doesn’t.

Raising awareness is a crock of steaming shit so noxious it makes a sewage treatment plant smell like French perfume.

Nothing ever comes of raising awareness. Not a single damn thing.

Because raising awareness is the best way we know of not actually doing anything concrete about anything. It is a diseased mewling animal that needs to be put down with a bullet to its intelligence-insulting skull. And then it needs to be kicked and kicked and kicked until you’ve sprained your foot and need to sit down and take the weight off it for a bit.

MAW? Get in the sea. 

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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FEBRUARY 2016

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ISSUE #12, VOL 3