Australian Motorcyclist Issue #34

The new Multistrada 1200 takes riding beyond all the barriers of compromise.

handlebar switches and Ducati Safety Pack with cornering ABS, Traction and Wheelie Control.

Unbeatable on tarmac, perfect and comfortable for long distance travelling, agile through town and fun off the road.

Additional with S version; Full colour TFT instrument panel with Ducati Multimedia System (DMS) and full LED headlamp with Cornering technology.

Frontline technologies include the new ground-breaking Testastretta DVT engine instantly providing optimal power and torque, cutting edge Ducati Skyhook Suspension (DSS) Evo and refined electronics including Cruise Control, Backlit

Experience the new Multistrada 1200 and 1200 S by reserving a test ride through your local Authorised Ducati Dealer today.

Extend the warranty coverage of your new Ducati with our Ever Red 12 or 24-month solution. Activate it now and add value to your passion.

Multistrada 1200 S model pictured

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BMW Motorrad F 800 R

bmwmotorrad.com.au

The Ultimate Riding Machine

Some things feel right from the very first moment. The new F 800 R offers a dynamic design, outstanding ergonomics and its perfect seat height makes every situation controllable, even for smaller riders. It combines the best touring and all-round qualities.

The powerful yet fuel-efficient parallel twin engine, the well-balanced chassis and the new upside-down front fork provide precise handling and complete control. Anytime.

To find out more or book a test ride, visit bmwmotorrad.com.au bmwmotorradaus

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EDITOR SPEAKS

Editor Stuart Woodbury Editor Emeritus J Peter Thoeming Sales Manager Terri Dodd advertise@ausmotorcyclist.com.au Designer Amy Hale Photo Editor Nick Wood Photographers Cain Maitland, Nick Wood Contributors Emma Ayres, Elspeth Callender, Robert Crick, Joern Delfs, Phil Duncan, Mike Grant, Jim Green, Tony Hill, Robert Lovas, Phil Gadd, Ryan Lucas, Lester Morris, Brendan Nelson, The Possum, Dimitra Schonekas, Guy Stanford, Stuart Strickland, Michael Walley, Colin Whelan Editorial contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com.au Subscription enquiries www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au info@ausmotorcyclist.com.au 0412 220 680 or 0418 421 322 Printer Distributor Network Services Australian Motorcyclist Magazine is published by Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111 Phone 0412 220 680 or 0418 421 322.

This publication is copyright. Other than for the purposes of research, study, criticism, review, parody or satire and subject to the conditions prescribed under the Copyright Act 1968, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted without the prior written permission of Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. Opinions expressed within this publication do not necessarily represent those of Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd. No responsibility is accepted by Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd or the editor for the accuracy of any statement, opinion or advice contained in the text or advertisements. Readers should rely on their own enquiries in making decisions tailored to their own interest. *Recommended retail price Copyright © Australian Motorcyclist Magazine Pty Ltd ACN 161 432 506 ISSN 2201-5442

We encourage you to keep or recycle this magazine.

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what’s he blabbing on about now?

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ne of my pet peeves is people who don’t use their indicators to change lanes or, even more infuriatingly, when they turn corners. You see it more and more nowadays and probably more from a driver of a certain type of car brand as well. I have no idea what wild imagination these people have but if you actually use your indicator for its intended purpose – to let other road users know of your intention to change lanes, turn a corner or whatever - you might find that you’re safer on the road and what’s more don’t get people abusing you for your arrogance.

And it’s this kind of arrogance that drives me mad – be aware of your surroundings, you fools.

Would you blindly jump into a suslooking billabong in the NT without first reading the warning signs?

Well, same goes for the use of your indicator – use it and the crocs won’t bother you!

What’s your “pet peeve” on the road? Send us a letter, we’d love to hear about it. Or maybe not…

Now that I’ve got that out of my system, here’s some good news (and more bad). You may have read that Victoria is the latest State to allow motorcycle lane filtering. A great common sense decision by the Government down there, and along with the other States which have already introduced this rule – well done, keep it going. Although I did read that Victoria Police were going to be hammering those riding motorcycles to Phillip Island to watch the MotoGP. Seriously, what is wrong with your decision making, Vic Pol? Have you no idea of the kinds of people that go to watch the GP – obviously not. Sure,

you might get one or two rats that ride crazy, but you get that in all crowds, even within your own ranks and probably worse. Grow up and realise that hundreds of thousands of dollars are being spent in the very State that you live, making it better for you and for all who live or visit there!

In fact, as I write this I’ve just heard that the Assistant Commissioner in charge of Road Policing in Victoria has got the sack. Despite the smashing of speed limits and booking everything including flies that go one kilometre an hour over the posted speed limit, the road toll has risen in Victoria. It was on the decline, as in the rest of Australia. Maybe Vic Pol should realise that staring at your speedo takes your eyes off the road – ever thought of that, boys?

We received some emails from you in regards to the blanked-out number plate on our MT-07 in the last issue. We purposely did that so you wouldn’t focus on the number plate itself, rather the tail tidy we were talking about – it got you looking anyway.

Cheers, Stuart.

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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145hp 106Nm 209kg

ALL NEW

Suzuki GSX-S100 00

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FROM THE BEAR “Strange that we all got flat tyres at the same time…”

GRIZZLING LIES, DAMNED LIES AND STATISTICS

Let’s get the actual danger of “speed” on the road into perspective once again.

During a recent interview on ABC Radio’s Ockham’s Razor with Robert Solomon, former parliamentarian and now apparently an authority on road safety, pointed out an interesting comparison.

Australia’s rate of road deaths per 100,000 people is 5.1, the same as for France with its speed-limited autoroutes.

That put us 15th among the 32 countries which contributed to the International Road Traffic and Accident Database (IRTAD) in 2013. Despite its 8000km of unlimited speed autobahns (plus another 5000km limited to 130km/h), Germany’s rate was only 4.1, making it 11th of 32.

The UK (where in my experience everyone speeds, at least on the motorway) had a rate of 2.8.

Less developed countries such as Namibia (where the roads are so bad you can’t speed) and Thailand (where they are too choked) have shocking death rates of 45 and 44 respectively. “Iran is little better with 38, despite having differential speed signs of 100, 110 and 120 for the lanes of divided highways.

“Between 2000 and 2012 the annual road death toll in the IRTAD countries fell by nearly 40 per cent,” said Solomon, “largely as a result of ‘robust road safety strategies’

involving speed management, alcohol control and seatbelt use.”

I would argue with that, er, argument.

I suspect, with some pretty good backing from other road safety authorities, that in fact improved roads and overall safer cars (not just seatbelt fitment) were more ‘robust road safety strategies’ than his suggestions.

Sadly, and as usual, motorcycles didn’t get a mention but Solomon did point out that “Pedestrians and cyclist [sic] safety was not reduced [sic] by the same amount, probably because there are increasing numbers of cyclists and more old pedestrians.”

Well, yeah, but wouldn’t his ‘robust road safety strategies’ have helped cyclists and pedestrians by stopping cars from mowing them down? Isn’t that another hint that it was cars that take greater care of their drivers and passengers that are a major reason for the improved safety?

Whatever; our thanks go to Robert Solomon and the ABC for at least raising the fact that it is not necessarily speed that kills.

RESIGN! RESIGN!

I’ve got to stop reading. The latest issue (as I write this) of New Scientist features a story about the human-like behaviour and ability that some wild animals show. Now quite apart from the Russian circus bears who ride motorcycles, I had thought that most of my achievements (such as they are) would be superior to

Run, kids, especially if you live in Namibia.

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those of which animals are capable.

Turns out that’s not so.

I can handle the fact that killer whales can learn complex songs while I struggle with “Happy Birthday”; singing is not high on my list of priorities. But elephants can apparently remember up to a thousand individuals and recognise them by sight or scent. Now okay, there are a few fellow motorcyclists I know whom I’d recognise by “scent” as well. But all in all I doubt that I could recognise more than about 200 individuals by sight or smell.

Ducati has taken the idea of bike electronics further than any other manufacturer by simply replacing the rider and pillion with robots.

There’s no need for ABS or cruise control or any other electronics when the rider can have them all built in.

Borgo Panigale is, of course, just making sure that our new Robotic AI Overlords ride Ducatis rather than some other marque

This is not helped by a peculiar tendency I have to “see” a celebrity when I’m looking at a perfectly ordinary person.

For example, F.W. deKlerk cuts some of the lawns in my street, and Lloyd Bridges drives the 288 bus.

A trick memory like that can pose problems, such as humming a few bars of the Internationale to a bloke in the Chemist’s and then finding he’s not Friedrich Engels after all. Maybe I should resign and hand my job over to an elephant. The only real problem is finding a keyboard big enough…

Peter ‘The Bear’ Thoeming

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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NEWS: SPECIAL

NEW TRIUMPHS THE BONNEVILLE IS ALL GROWN UP

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riumph has thrown the covers off a four year project to give you the next generation of the iconic Bonneville with five exciting new bikes.

From the fun and accessible rideability of the new Street Twin, to the timeless style of the Bonneville T120 and T120 Black, through to the Thruxton and Thruxton R, the Triumph racing legend is reborn. All bikes come with 100% authentic Bonneville character and truly modern capability and performance.

Powered by an all-new engine family built specifically for the modern classic riding style, the bikes offer more torque, more immediate and exciting power delivery and a richer sound you can really feel and hear. The Street Twin features an all-new high torque 900cc parallel twin engine, while the rest of the family goes large with an equally new 1200cc parallel twin powerplant.

The Bonneville T120 and T120 Black have what Triumph calls the “High Torque” version and the Thruxton models have the “High Power” version. All of the family’s engines are now liquid-cooled for better fuel consumption and an even smoother ride.

Triumph says that the bikes feature rider-focused technology which has been implemented

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with care to deliver an engaged and safer ride, without compromising the style or character of the bikes this includes ABS, traction control, slip assist clutch, ride-by-wire throttle and rider modes (T120, T120 Black, Thruxton R and Thruxton), distinctive LED rear lights on all models and LED DRL headlights on all the 1200s (where legislation allows), USB charging socket and an engine immobiliser.

A completely new, ground up chassis design, unique to each motorcycle, incorporates all-new suspension and geometry, so all of these bikes will deliver what Triumph says is stunning handling, outstanding stability and neutral handling tailored to the style and character of each motorcycle, making them easier to ride for longer.

Each model has also undergone a beautiful evolution of the iconic Bonneville styling with tighter and more crafted styling cues faithfully taken from classic Bonneville bikes of the past. And there are more than 470 new accessories!

We can’t wait to ride them and The Bear is already dreaming of owning the T120. I feel the Street Twin will be the massive seller out of the family and it’s great to see the attention to detail, while improving performance has been blended nicely. As soon as we get to ride them, you’ll be reading the reviews in these pages! SW 

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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motoguzziau

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NEWS

carbon, the red stripes and the Dark Chrome paintwork on the frame.

The exclusive forged wheels with exposed machined finish enhance the muscular design of the bike. Other new features on the 2016 version of the Diavel Carbon include the exhaust manifolds with Zircotec ceramic coating. In addition, the bike boasts a totally redesigned seat with new and exclusive trim.

Get into your local Ducati dealer to secure this stylish machine.

The popular and heavily revised Arai Vector II helmet now comes in this exciting Australia Flag design.

Show your Aussie support and wear it with pride. See your local bike shop or www.cassons.com.au

KICK START MY HEART

“JUST SMILE AND WAVE, BOYS. SMILE AND WAVE.” See Madagascar with Touratech Have you ever dreamed of exploring an exotic island on a motorbike? This dream could now come true. Under the

protectors on the elbows and shoulders. Not only is the new PitRace jacket incredibly inexpensive, it’s well thought out too with a classic collar, pocket for the optional CE back protector and a zip to connect to pants at the back. Seeing there is so little room for carrying items on most bikes, the six pockets will come in handy: two external, two internal, one waterproof and one back pocket dedicated to insert storage. See your local bike shop or www.ficeda.com.au

Rocky Creek Designs Jump Starter Price - $98.95 This little lithium jump starter is pocket-sized and light but packs a real punch. It will easily tuck into a tank bag, top box or pannier.

The mini jump starter comes with a recharging plug suitable for both BMW (merit) sockets and normal car type accessory sockets.

The jump starter offers a USB port and 1-into-4 5V/2.1A USB accessory cable that can plug into many different devices including Apple,

WAVE THE FLAG slogan “United People of Adventure“, Touratech founder, Herbert Schwarz, and his wife, Ramona, invite motorcycle travellers from six continents to join them on an adventure ride on the Island of Madagascar - on fully equipped Touratech bikes and with the appropriate riding gear.

If you don’t want to miss this once in a lifetime chance, apply online with a short video at www.real-adv.com and/ or for further information and conditions of participation.

SLICK AND TRICK Ixon Pitrace jacket Price - $199.95 The PitRace is the slick, versatile and durable sports riding jacket used and trusted by Australian stunt rider, Dave McKenna. It comes with loads of mesh panels to help keep you cool and CE

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Arai Vector II helmet Price - $649.95

Samsung, HTC, Nokia, Motorola, and Sony phones, iPads, GPS etc. It also has an LED flash light with 3 modes: illumination, strobe or SOS. This mini jump starter has short circuit protection, overcharge protection and discharge protection. Don’t let yourself be stranded with a flat battery. Pop a mini jump starter into your bag! Buy it direct from Rocky Creek Designs – www.rockycreekdesigns.com.au or call Ph: 02 6689 5703. 

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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BIKE TEST

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Sure, the new H2 might have excellent handling and super powerful brakes, but it is more the supercharged in-line four cylinder lurking in between that super sexy metallic green trellis frame that is the main attraction of

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this bike. The one I rode for this story is also owned by our good (very good) friend Nigel. I’ve already ridden it a number of times.

It has also been “freed” up a bit thanks to a Racefit slip-on muffler

5. The H2 750 saying, “Up yours!”

and DNA air filter. This has turned what was a heavily restricted (yet still powerful) bike into a ravening power-

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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CMY

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Jacket Sixty-Six Art. 6245 Biker jeans Crackerjack Art. 6269 Short boot Cattleman Art. 8563

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in a ro

since 1 9 4 6

www.heldaustralia.com.au

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Jacket Sixty-Six Art. 6245

Glove Desert Art. 2151

Email: info@heldaustralia.com.au

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RJ_AD0126_new draft.pdf 1 16/10/2015 2:48:00 PM

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ALL RJAYS GARMENTS ARE FITTED WITH CE APPROVED BODY PROTECTORS

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EVENT

ROLLIES SPEED SHOP OPEN HOUSE 2015

Our Kuryakyn-customised H-D Sportster has scored a win at its first ever show – although it was a bit of a show with a difference. Here’s Ian from Rollies to tell us about the event where the bike won a cash prize for its builders, Iron Head Customs in Melbourne.

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very second year Rollies Speed Shop hosts a get together of American manufacturers and members of their National Dealership Network to showcase the development of products for the Australian v-twin marketplace.

The second day the event is open to the public allowing v-twin owners the opportunity to talk to the people behind the major brands, in a one on one situation.

The third Rollies Open House was held on Sat 3rd and Sunday 4th of October with a fantastic roll out of manufacturers from the United States including Performance Machine, Kuryakyn, Arlen Ness Enterprises, Legend Air Suspensions, Jim’s USA Performance Parts, Progressive Suspension, Daytona Twin Tec,

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MagnaFlow, Spectro Performance Oils, Russ Wernimont Designs, Rinehart Racing Exhausts, Genuine James Gaskets, Freedom Performance Exhausts, ThunderMax, S&S Cycle, Roland Sands Designs to name just a few.

The dealer day was extremely well attended with both Daytona Twin Tech & ThunderMax offering introductory and advanced training courses from a workshop perspective.

Our Australian market differs from the USA experience, as we do not have the same interest in the touring bagger segment as our American counterparts.

Over time Rollies Speed Shop has engaged the manufacturers in looking for specific solutions to our market; more emphasis on the V-Rod and Softail models that are not as popular in the States.

We also had the launch of some new exhaust systems from Rinehart Racing who have typically held huge market share in the States due to the company’s history in Indy Car exhaust development; there will be new

models released as Rinehart focuses on performance through the stepped header designs that are more often seen on high performance exhaust builds.

Crusher Performance exhaust systems were highlighted as well, this is the performance arm of Kuryakyn, another giant in the USA aftermarket space.

They also featured the new line of Bahn Products for the Harley-Davidson range.

Arlen Ness by MagnaFlow showcased exhaust products for the first time at the show, with a new range of performance systems that have the definitive mastery of Arlen Ness design, with the performance background of MagnaFlow; the largest aftermarket automobile performance exhaust builder in the USA. Rollies Speed Shop Distribution would like to thank the manufacturers and dealer network who supported this year’s event. This was an exceptional event that was well supported by the American manufacturers, the National Dealership Network and the general public. State tuned for the next even in 2017 – don’t miss it! 

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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28/10/2015 4:53 pm

Test ride a Harley-Davidson® Dyna,® V-Rod,® Softail® or Touring V-twin for a chance to win.

Prove you’re ready at harleytestride.com.au/daytona20

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EVENT

FAR CAIRN RALLY 2015 HERE IS THE POSSUM’S FAR CAIRN REPORT

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ur little group made an early start for the wilds of Tottenham well wrapped in our wet weather gear.

Intermittent showers followed us to Richmond, and we experienced wet roads but no rain over the Bells Line.

Plenty of roadworks on the Bells Line and a rumoured 80 km/h speed limit to be imposed over the full length helped us along our way.

Following an overnight stay in Forbes, we made our way under sunny skies to Tottenham.

I had some initial concerns that the rally had been taken over – there seemed to be more Suzuki Bandits than BMWs! But by the time we arrived at the Racecourse all was well and BMWs were in plague proportions.

There was a first for me, I saw my first MV Agusta at a rally and not a barista in sight. The local Foodworks supermarket did a big trade in bags of ice and boxes of things to be kept cold. As in previous years, the Lions Club was in attendance and feeding the multitudes, and they backed up next morning to make sure everyone had a bacon and egg roll to soak up the evening’s excesses.

Walking about the camp site we found a good representation of number plates from QLD, NSW, VIC and SA. As the sun set, the awards and raffles were rolled out.

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Oldest Combined Age was 116 for Mick and his BMW – not sure who was older.

Longest Distance Sidecar was Garry with 573 km L/D Female was Margaret from Stanthorpe in QLD at 1005 km.

L/D Male was Peter from Hervey Bay QLD at 2779 km – must have come the scenic route.

L/D Pillion was Deborah from SA at 1135 km – she won it last year too.

Youngest Rider went to 22 y.o.

Tom Reynolds The SA BMW Club was disappointed that there was no award for Club attendance, as they had a big group on hand.

The preferred charity of the BMW Touring Club of NSW has been the Motorcycle Accident Rehabilitation Initiative (MARI) and the club President Alan Peters spoke about the work of MARI and its evolution before introducing Ken Lovegrove. Ken is the moving force that is spreading MARI’s work around the countryside. He had recently returned from a trip down the length of QLD where he has most of the major hospitals on board and volunteers established in most major towns and cities.

MARI provides a network to support victims of bike crashes in practical ways.

At the end of the presentation, the BMWTCNSW presented Ken with a cheque for $8,900 to help with the continuation of MARI’s work.

For more information go to www.drwings.org.au .

Raffles were a mixed bag of goodies from various sponsors and while one of our party won three times, the rest of us got nothing! After the raffles, there was a picture show with a motorcycle theme that include promos from old B&W movies, the BMW Enduro Safari, and the funniest short film Western ever seen.

Speaking with BMWTCNSW Club stalwart Warren Buffet next morning I learned that the 150 badges were all gone and there were some more to be sent out, so overall the Club is pretty happy with numbers.

The Club would like to thank Bike Biz, Procycles Hornsby, Sydney Motorcycle Wreckers, Adventure Moto, Adventure Rider Magazine, Colo Heights Service Stn, Grey Gums Cafe, Rally Sports Imports and club members Ian Emmett and Tony Wilton, who all contributed financially or with prizes to make the rally a success.

The next BMWTCNSW rally will be the Karuah River Rally on 13/14 Feb 2016; check their web site for more details.

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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EVENT

RAGGED FRINGE RALLY 2015 POSSUM BRAVES THUNDERBOLT’S WAY

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pon returning from this rally, I had a look at the Moto Guzzi Owners Association of NSW website and read some interesting things.

Some time in the distant past, a widely read motorcycle magazine referred to Moto Guzzi motorcycles and riders as the ragged fringe of respectable motorcycling.

(I wondered if our aged editor of many magazines in the past had anything to do with that comment) [No]. The Guzzi Owners of NSW was formed and took that reference to heart.

To ride a machine with such a long and proud history, and more recently, derived from a military rough terrain carry-all, requires passion and big brass balls.

The V8 500 (148 kg/78 hp) never won a GP, but it stirred passion and held the flying kilometre and flying mile world records for a time – 186 mph in about 1957 springs to mind ! The 500 Falcone never won anything, but has a loyal following. To own a Guzzi requires more passion than the Ducatisti have and more loyalty than the Milwaukee crowd will ever muster.

To hold a rally up Thunderbolts Way requires passion, passion for rough and winding roads to be negotiated at speed.

This most recent Ragged Fringe was held where many previous have been held, at Bretti Reserve on Thunderbolts Way to the west of Gloucester NSW, and I took No. 2 son along to see what drives these people.

It was early spring and cloudless skies accompanied us as we negotiated the crap roads of country NSW via Dungog to Bucketts Way and on the Gloucester, where we paused for lunch at the

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motorcycle friendly cafe that advertises in this august publication. The local IGA had a very nicely priced range of Hardys reds in what appeared to be one litre bottles.

After lunch and nice cuppa, we headed out and tackled Thunderbolts for the 30 odd km’s to the Bretti reserve. A halfhearted attempt by a kamikaze kangaroo was the only cause for concern on this leg of our trip.

Bretti Reserve resembled a grey nomads’ refuge with caravans and mobile homes all over the place, and bikes and tents congregated towards the centre of the reserve.

After entering and setting up camp we took in the sights and found Guzzis of all vintages, with a strong showing from the current V7s. Many other makes were in attendance, even a strong showing from Milwaukee.

The Association organised a bloke with wood fired pizza ovens to put in an appearance, and he did a roaring trade all afternoon and into the evening. Red wine - must have pizza!

Late afternoon saw the official proceedings get under way with a slow race run over a number of heats, and the pillions sitting side saddle for extra difficulty. Next event was the crankshaft throw, which saw contestants heaving a Le Mans crank down the road. Almost 10 metres was the winning throw.

Trophies were awarded for, Longest Distance Pillion – Kazza 850 km, L/D Female, Katherine from Roma in QLD, Hard Luck to a bloke who had all the smoke escape from his wiring near Gloucester and was delivered to the site

by a total stranger in one of a number of acts of random kindness he experienced during his hour of trial, Largest Club attendance went to the oddly named George 4th club, Longest Distance on a Guzzi went to a bloke who came down from Quilpie in QLD. There where awards to blokes who best upheld the Guzzi spirit, and a special award that needs its own paragraph.

The Stephen Dearnley Award went to the oldest Guzzi rider on site and a 68 year old Mal took it home. Long before Stephen Dearnley started the Ulysses Club, he helped start the Moto Guzzi Owners Association of NSW; now you know something else about Old No. 1.

During the evening we enjoyed a certain amount of ‘fellowship’ around the fires and long after I toddled off to bed, my old rally mate Mick stayed by a certain fire until very late. When he stood up to go home to bed, he was viciously attacked by gravity and sent to the ground.

Fortunately some other, less gravity prone, souls where able to escort him home in safety.

Speaking to John, the Association President, I learned that all 160 badges made had been snapped up, and 148 bikes registered. The Association has been holding this rally at Bretti for the last 10 years and hopes to conduct many more events here. The rally is run to break even and provide some funds for club activities, but periodically the club has supported the Guide Dogs and the Starlight Foundation.

This is a great rally at the end of a cracking good ride, pencil it in for next September! 

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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3/11/2015 11:25 am

BIKE TEST

KTM 1290 SUPER ADVENTURE SUPERSONIC ADVENTURES AWAIT

WORDS STUART WOODBURY PHOTOS NICK WOOD

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www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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Stuart is wearing a Shoei ADV helmet, Held Carese II jacket, Held Sambia gloves, Draggin NextGen jeans and Sidi Vertigo boots.

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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BIKE TEST

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t was only a matter of time until KTM brought out a big distance eater to tackle BMW’s all-conquering R 1200 GS Adventure. KTMs take on this was to release the 1290 Super Adventure.

Stick the hugely powerful 1301cc V-twin from the Super Duke R in it, give it a massive fuel tank and loads of luxury and there you are. It’s a bike that looks like a road train coming at you, yet is relatively agile and immensely fast.

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That 75-degree V-twin engine is retuned by 15kW from its Super Duke specification, but still produces a maximum of 118kW, along with even more midrange torque, plus smoother low-rev running due to a heavier crankshaft – as a result the 1290 is immensely fast for such a big bike.

Four riding modes give differing levels of throttle response and traction control, including Rain and Off-road modes with reduced power output. Eight times out

1. Cornering headlights in the tank and engine protection bars surround that massive 30 litre tank.

2. Best KTM seat ever? You bet!

3. Comfort, or you can remove the rubber insert for a grippy aluminium peg. of ten I left it in Sport mode because the acceleration is intoxicating, but when I was doing some longer distance I switched to Touring for a softer throttle.

The 1290 comes with chain drive which is the lightest solution and

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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New Ideas for Motorbikes

New Ideas for Motorbikes

Made for Adventure

DriRide: A revolution in rider comfort.

Stay dry and comfortable with Touratech’s exclusive breathable seat technology Your riding gear is designed to allow moisture to escape your body, but it can’t do its job in the most important area unless you have a seat that breathes.

1. Touratech Vapor-Flow™ The technology allows your body’s moisture to pass through your riding gear, down through the seat fabric and into the breathable membrane. The moisture then escapes through the sides of the seat, leaving you dry and comfortable.

2. Rain-Block™ Although the seat is breathable (allowing moisture vapor to pass through the fabric) the tight structure of the Rain-Block™ fabric forces water droplets to bead up and roll off the seat. It’s completely waterproof.

3. Ergo-Response™ Ergo-Response™ technology keeps you on top of the saddle, not sunken down into it. The foam core is sculpted in a way that ensures there’s no pressure on the coccyx (tail-bone) and your weight is supported evenly. The longer you ride, the better if feels.

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For more info call (03) 5729 5529 www.touratech.com.au AMM_December_layout.indd 37

28/10/2015 10:47 am

BIKE TEST

delivers the power to the ground with the smallest resistance, but big all-road touring motorcycles do benefit from the maintenance-free shaft drive setup as seen on other equivalent models.

Nevertheless, high quality chains are today, really good and require less maintenance than ever and the 1290 comes with a centre stand for easier cleaning and lubrication.

Chassis performance is equally impressive as the engine, and similarly boosted by electronic refinement. The 1290 follows previous Adventure models with its tubular steel frame and longtravel suspension from KTM subsidiary WP. For such a comprehensively equipped bike it is light at 229kg without fuel, and has agile handling that makes it easy and fun to ride on and off road.

The Super Adventure introduces KTM’s first semi-active damping system, featuring four settings that are independent of the riding modes.

It works well most of the time, most vividly in Comfort mode. This gives an outstandingly compliant ride at a steady pace, and magically firms the front forks under braking, and the rear shock under hard acceleration – truly the best of both worlds.

Excellent wind protection also contributes to the KTM’s ability to cover ground rapidly and comfortably. Its intricately shaped screen, adjustable by hand on the move, gives an outstandingly quiet, turbulence-free ride, which is especially noticeable with a peaked helmet where you might be used to your head lifting slightly. You get none of this on the 1290 Super Adventure with the screen on its highest setting.

The seat is very comfortable over long distances and quickly height-adjustable, but inevitably short riders will struggle even on its lower setting due to the seat being wider than, say, the 1050 Adventure’s. But, for those riders over 175cm or thereabouts you will love the comfort this bike gives you and I have to say that this is probably the best seat KTM has ever put on one of its motorcycles.

Not only does the 1290 have an adjustable seat height but the handlebar clamps can be changed by plus or minus 10mm and the foot pegs can be changed

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by 10mm, so you really can get the right ‘personal’ setup with this bike.

The Adventure can’t quite match (yet almost does) the weather protection of a touring bike’s big fairing but its handguards, heated grips and heated seat – with individual controls for rider and pillion, who also gets generous handholds – add to its long-distance appeal.

The big, 30-litre tank gives a generous (putting it mildly) range of about 480km.

It felt as if I’d ridden the 1290 forever without having to fill it up – a feeling you don’t get with many other bikes.

Cruise control comes as standard, and is just one more of the KTM’s electronic features. Bosch’s brilliant cornering and combined ABS system helps the Brembo brakes’ outstanding stopping ability and a world first are the 1290’s cornering headlights, which are fitted to the side of the tank. Consisting of three LED segments, and linked to a lean angle sensor, the cornering light can use one segment or all three depending on the lean angle, giving you more peripheral vision at night.

The instrument panel is well thought out for the travelling motorcyclist with a bucket load of info and to the left of the panel is a 12V socket to plug in your GPS or gadgets. You can also set up a ‘favourites’ screen for all the info that you’d like to look at, rather than continually scrolling for it.

Accessories are extensive as you would expect from KTM. To really set up the 1290 Super Adventure as a big distance eater, I’d be looking at the Ergo seat for even more comfort, panniers, topbox or maybe the seat bag and the GPS mount. If you like bling, there’s plenty of that and if you want even more performance, KTM will let you unleash the beast.

You may jibe at the higher $26,995 price tag against the base price of the R1200 GSA at $24,550, but the BMW doesn’t come with as many electronic features standard. If you want those it takes the price just above the KTM’s.

The 1290’s price tag seems entirely reasonable for a bike that offers extraordinary performance, refinement, comfort, safety and versatility. This Adventure’s “Super” prefix is richly deserved. 

SPECS

KTM 1290 SUPER ADVENTURE PRICE: $26,995 (plus on-road charges) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 15,000km or 12 months ENGINE: Liquid-cooled V-twin cylinder, 4-stroke, DOHC, 4 valves per cylinder BORE x STROKE: 108 x 71mm DISPLACEMENT: 1301cc COMPRESSION: 13.1:1 POWER: 118kW @ 8750rpm TORQUE: 140Nm @ 6750rpm TRANSMISSION: 6-speed, wet multi-plate slipper clutch, chain final drive SUSPENSION: Front, 48mm inverted fork, electronically adjustable, travel 200mm. Rear, monoshock, electronically adjustable, travel 200mm.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 860875mm, weight 229kg (ex-fuel), fuel capacity 30 litres, wheelbase 1560mm TYRES: Front, 120/70/R19. Rear, 170/60/R17 FRAME: Tubular steel BRAKES: Front, twin 320mm discs with radial mount four-piston switchable ABS calipers. Rear, 267mm disc, dual-piston switchable ABS caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 6.24 litres per 100km, premium unleaded THEORETICAL RANGE: 480km COLOURS: White VERDICT: FEATURE PACKED FOR SUPERSONIC ADVENTURES

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AMM_December_layout.indd 38

28/10/2015 5:56 pm

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AMM_December_layout.indd 39

26/10/2015 12:52 pm

JUSTICE

THIS APPEALS! A WIN FOR THE LITTLE BLOKE

Bitupave Ltd t/as Boral Asphalt v X [2015] NSWCCA 298 Ward, Emmett, Gleeson JJA

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ever let it be said that the law does not occasionally back the little bloke in a battle with the business and public administration giants of the land. Here is a report of a recent case from northern NSW. I’ve removed the name of the plaintiff for privacy reasons. It’s somewhat dry; persevere with it, it’s worth it. Not only does it describe a win, it will also give you an insight into the way the law actually works, and what a judge considers.

The Court of Appeal today dismissed an appeal brought by Bitupave Ltd t/ as Boral Asphalt (‘Boral’) from a finding that it was negligent in the manner in which it conducted roadworks on a stretch of road where Mr David X subsequently sustained serious injuries in a motorcycle accident. The Court also dismissed a cross-appeal by Lismore City Council (‘the Council’) from a similar finding of negligence against it, and allowed a cross-appeal brought

by Mr X in relation to a finding of contributory negligence on his part.

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The accident occurred on 22 January 2006 when Mr X was riding his motorcycle north of Nimbin on a gently curving stretch of road with an uphill gradient. The accident occurred shortly after three days of very heavy rain in the area and some six weeks after the Council had undertaken resurfacing works on that stretch of road. During the course of those resurfacing works, Boral carried out work as the Council’s contractor spraying bitumen on the re-sealed road.

Mr X, through his tutor, brought proceedings in the Common Law Division of the Supreme Court claiming damages for negligence against Boral and the Council. Boral and the Council each cross-claimed against the other for indemnity and/or contribution in respect of any liability owed to Mr X. The primary judge found that the accident was caused when Mr X lost control of his motorcycle when it came into contact with a swathe of material on the road. His Honour found that the swathe contained roadbase and aggregate which had been left by the Council and Boral, respectively, at the completion of their respective roadworks, in a “feathered out”

Road quality on the North Coast varies enormously; so, obviously, does the care that’s taken when repairs are made.

No matter what the legal position is, it always pays to be careful.

windrow on the higher side of the road (to the east of the road and west of a table drain). The table drain had been blocked during the heavy rains and his Honour found that a torrent of water had flowed over the drain and across the road. His Honour found that the Council and Boral were negligent, as it was foreseeable by each of them that leaving a feathered windrow in that position involved a risk that it would be washed across the roadway, thereby reducing the available friction on the road and endangering motorcyclists.

The primary judge apportioned responsibility for the accident as to 60% to Boral and 40% to the Council. His Honour found that Mr X was on notice of the presence of the swathe, having travelled in the opposite (southerly) direction on that stretch of road earlier in the day, and reduced his award of damages by 10% to reflect his contributory negligence.

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On the question of indemnity, his Honour held that the Council was entitled to indemnity from Boral for the whole of its liability to Mr X, having breached cl 10 of the contract between the Council and Boral in failing to effect a policy of public liability insurance.

Boral appealed from the whole of the decision. It challenged the factual findings made by the primary judge as to what was on the road at the time of the accident and how it came to be on the road. The Council crossappealed, challenging the findings relating to its liability, the degree of contributory negligence and the apportionment of responsibility between it and Boral, and sought to affirm the finding of liability against Boral on a number of bases, including that it was in breach of two other clauses (cll D2.7(iii) and D2.7(v)) of its contract with the Council. Mr X cross-appealed on the issue of contributory negligence, and sought to affirm the findings of negligence against Boral and the Council on other grounds.

The Court of Appeal found that the primary judge did not err in finding that each of Boral and the Council was negligent in leaving the feathered windrow, to which each had contributed, to the east of the road and to the west of the table drain. There was no error in the factual finding by the primary judge that the swathe contained aggregate and roadbase from the feathered out windrow in that position. The risk of harm to motorcyclists was one of which both Boral and the Council knew or ought to have known, it was not insignificant and there were reasonable precautions

that could have been taken to avoid the risk.

The Court of Appeal found that the primary judge had not erred in concluding that the presence of a combination of roadbase and aggregate in the swathe was a necessary condition of the harm occurring. It was not necessary for the

primary judge to seek to determine the amount of each of those components in the swathe. Each of Boral and the Council had an opportunity to remove the windrow that had been created by a combination of their actions and each failed to do so. But for Boral’s failure to remove the windrow (to which it had added aggregate), the accident would not have occurred.

But for the Council’s failure, when it completed the roadworks, to remove the windrow (other than by feathering it out as it did), the accident would not have occurred. Further, the primary judge’s apportionment of responsibility as between Boral and the Council was

not demonstrated to be unreasonable or plainly unjust.

As to the issue of indemnity, the Court of Appeal found no error in the primary judge’s construction of cl 10 of the contract. It required Boral to put in place third party liability insurance for the benefit of the Council on which it could claim if a third party suffered injury as a consequence of the resealing works whether or not that was caused in part by its own negligence, at least where the injury related to the particular works in which both Boral and the Council were involved.

Further, the primary judge did not err in concluding that the Council could not rely on any breach of cl D2.7(iii) or cl D2.7(v).

As to the issue of contributory negligence, the Court of Appeal found that, in the absence of evidence as to what was visible travelling south on the stretch of road, there was no basis for the conclusion reached by the primary judge that Mr X saw, or should, riding prudently, have seen, the swathe on his southbound trip. Accordingly, the primary judge was in error in finding contributory negligence on Mr X’s part and the Court ordered that the sum by which damage was reduced on that issue should be paid to Mr X.

All right? Picked up the general ideas?

If you haven’t, I’ll leave you with F.E. Smith’s response to a judge who complained that he was no wiser after Smith had argued one of his case: “Possibly not, My Lord, but surely far better informed.” PT 

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28/10/2015 5:07 pm

BEAR ARMY

MANOEUVRES THE BEAR ARMY MARCHES ON

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reetings, Troopers!

By the next issue I should have the location of our South and North Manoeuvres for 2016 worked out, and I am even looking at the possibility (after more than a few requests) of adding a third event for summer. It might be a bit early for that, but you never know…

Meanwhile I’m introducing a bit of a bonus for troopers. Every now and then we get something interesting to review, and we’re told to keep it.

Sometimes it gets added to our stock of useful stuff, but often it duplicates something we already have or is not immediately required for any other project.

What I’m going to do is make these things available to you. Only to Troopers, of course! I’ll announce them in this column and all you need to do if you want one, is email me within a fortnight of the magazine hitting the stands. The numbers of the interested parties will go into the hat, we’ll announce the winner in a following issue and we’ll post you whatever the goodie is. Don’t expect vastly expensive items; they’ll be small but always interesting. And let’s face it, all it will cost you is an email!

This month’s goodie is a great start - the 2016 Motorcycle Adventure Travel calendar from Horizons Unlimited. It is full of wonderful images and will dress up any wall. The high-quality calendar costs $19, but for you it’s free – if your number comes out of the hat. And make no mistake about it – the images in the calendar are spectacular!

If you’d like to find out a bit more about Horizons Unlimited, see www.horizonsunlimited.com .

At ease,

Commanding Officer, Bear Army

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AMM_December_layout.indd 42

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5/11/2015 2:36 pm

TRAVEL

NORTH AND SOUTH OF SYDNEY TWO DAYS TO DIE FOR

WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR

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W

e don’t know how lucky we are to live in Australia – even in Sydney. There, I’ve said it. Well, written it. I know that just about every capital city in Australia has easier access to better bike roads than we do here in the Harbour City, but comparisons are odious or, as Shakespeare has it, odorous. The fact remains that we can jump on our bikes and spend a day on some wonderful roads, without much traffic and with not too many restrictions.

We can challenge ourselves and our bikes, or we can drift around enjoying the scenery and Mother Nature’s many delights; we can even find decent food and coffee.

You want me to back that up with real-life roads? No worries. Oh, and if you know these roads already (as

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5/11/2015 3:16 pm

Jamberoo Road is worth a visit – or even two!

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AMM_December_layout.indd 45

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3/11/2015 11:48 am

TRAVEL

many of you will) show this article to beginning riders, or those who are considering taking up motorcycling.

You’ll be doing your good deed for the day.

COFFEE CRAZY

Get yourself to the beginning of the Pacific Highway just south of Hornsby.

Yes, this is freeway but I suspect that you’ll be tired of any other roads by now – no matter how close by you live.

Unfortunately, Sydney traffic really is odorous! Equally unfortunately there

46

is nowhere much to meet around here – see below for the suggested meeting point if you’re riding with mates.

Enjoy the effortless ride as far as the Berowra exit, also known as the Windybanks Interchange, and join the Old Pacific Highway. Better known as just the Old Road, this was the highway before the freeway was built; a thought that’s almost impossible to believe now. At Easter and other holiday times this used to back up for a couple of hours or more. No matter what you think of freeways, this one has been a Good Thing.

There are a couple of servos on your left not long after you hit the Old Road, first a Shell and then a 7Eleven. They offer an opportune chance to top up your tank, and the 7Eleven is the most common meeting place for riders who are on their way north.

Take the “Pacific Hwy” not the “Pacific Mwy” track where the road divides, not far past those servos. Remember to keep more or less to the speed limit as you roll through Cowan; pedestrians

Everybody’s favourite hairpin on Macquarie Pass. are likely to be rambling across the road from the station, and this is a popular place for radar. Next up, after a couple of nice corners, is Pie in the Sky; a good stop for a coffee. Another nice set of corners takes you down to the river and the bridge over the Hawkesbury, and then you’re on the Old Road proper. It’s difficult to know what to say about this road. The speed limit is far too low, but the road does have a poor safety record.

Next stop, after a set of some more enjoyable corners – but watch out for bicyclists – is the Old Road Café, nee Road Warriors and any number of other names. Another coffee stop, as well as a bacon and egg roll stop.

Continue north to the Calga turnoff, which you want to take, and at Peats Ridge is the Tin Shed café, on the right.

More coffee! Yes! Turn left just out of the little township to Central Mangrove, and left again to Mangrove Mountain.

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3/11/2015 11:50 am

AMM_December_layout.indd 47

29/10/2015 2:15 pm

TRAVEL

A less restricted and in some ways more enjoyable though occasionally bumpy road takes you down to the Hawkesbury River. More coffee and food stops at Spencer and Gunderman (where we will shortly be reviewing the Wombat Café) and then you’re at the Wisemans Ferry ferry, which takes you across to the pub, a servo and a small selection of cafés. The road back to Sydney starts with an inspiring left-hand hairpin going up the scarp and continues to be good fun until you hit the ‘burbs. You have the options of turning right at Maroota if you live in western Sydney, left at Middle Dural for the connection to Galston Gorge if you live in the north, or carrying on along the Old Northern Road if you’re from anywhere else.

Hornsby to Hornsby should be about three hours’ riding, for a total distance of some 170km. Not a long day, but a good one.

STILL LOTS OF COFFEE

It’s a little easier to nominate a meeting place if you and your mates are on the road south. The Maccas at Heathcote is opposite Heathcote Road and next to a servo, and just for once you’ll just have to drink the McCafé coffee. Or be the last to arrive, with everyone ready to head off.

You’ve missed the first entrance to National Park by meeting this far south, but that’s all right. Turn left at Waterfall instead and enjoy the excellent road that connects with the main park road over a concrete causeway, down in the valley. It’s only 5km down there, but it’s a fun road – except perhaps for occasional leaf litter.

Turn right and straight on through National Park now. A stop at Stanwell Tops is always worth it, if only to check out any other bikes stopped there.

Then continue straight on, not down to Stanwell Park, and turn left again to continue along the road south. I’d avoid the freeway, but it’s up to you. At the top of Mt Ousley, take a right and then a left to Mt Keira. There’s a kiosk on a spur road with a terrific lookout over Wollongong and Mt Kembla. At

48

the bottom of the hill turn into the highway and then the freeway, which will take you south to the big roundabout just north of Illawarra Regional Airport.

If you’re interested, there is a really good aircraft museum at the airport; just continue south and take the signposted entrance to the right. If you just want to ride, turn right at the roundabout instead and then right again to Robertson. This takes you up the always exciting and sometimes dangerous (when someone has spilt oil on it) Macquarie Pass. Robertson with its famous pie shop (the pies are not all that brilliant, but the atmosphere can be good) lies at the top.

Across the road from the pie shop is Jamberoo Road, which is narrow and dangerous and a lot of fun. I like it better than Macquarie Pass. At the bottom, turn right to Jamberoo and left in the township. A little way out of town you will cross Jerrara Creek.

Just after the bridge there is a road off to the right, also called Jerrara.

Take this up the hill until you reach a turnoff to the right, called Mt Brandon Road. Take this – the road climbs a very steep hill – and at the top there are scenic views across the Illawarra Plain.

Back down to Jerrara Road, and it takes you to Kiama by way of the Princes Highway underpass. Continue into Kiama until you see Collins Street on your left at a roundabout. There is a row of terraces on the eastern side of this street, the first of which is a pleasant little café which does nice light lunches. Failing that, Terralong Street (behind you now) has a pretty good fish ‘n’ chips joint.

When you’re finished, continue down Terralong Street and follow the

signs until you merge with the Princes Highway. Ahead of you now are the much-tamed but still enjoyable Kiama Esses and a nice country run to Berry, with its bakery, sweets shops and cafés. Turn right here for Kangaroo Valley (more cafés) and continue up the scarp past Fitzroy Falls and on to Mittagong, where you join the Hume Highway. You can continue along the freeway to Liverpool, which I’ve set pretty much at random as the end of this ride (it is the other end of Heathcote Road) or turn off at Yanderra for Bargo (check out the train museum) and on to Picton and Razorback. This road will eventually take you into the Camden Bypass and, with a right turn at the end of that, over to the freeway. Liverpool awaits not far up the road.

Heathcote to Liverpool ought to take a bit four hours’ riding, with a total distance of something over 300km. It depends on how many side trips you take, really. You’ll have fun, whichever way you choose. 

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3/11/2015 11:51 am

TEAR OUT MAP #34

ACROSS THE TOP OF TAS ST HELENS TO LAUNCESTON WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR

ST HELENS

In my mind, St Helens will always be associated with crayfish. Freshly caught, these tasty crustaceans form an important ingredient for the local restaurants. However, Bicheno, further south, and St Helens are the only places where I’ve ever seen (and eaten) crayfish as a takeaway meal, wrapped in newspaper and eaten with a wooden fork. Sadly, the last time I was there the place where you could buy it was gone – maybe it was just out of season. The beaches are beautiful, and the mild climate means that this is a place where camping is almost always a pleasure. All services are available, and you might as well fuel up here.

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BINALONG BAY

A short detour north from St Helens takes you to this small but almost staggeringly picturesque village. A combination of pristine bush, lichencovered granite boulders and white sandy beaches definitely gives Mother Nature a good name here. The village, really a collection of what seems to be more or less just holiday houses from the foreshore (there’s more of it inland), intrudes relatively little. Let’s hope it stays that way. I could image de rich folks deciding that Binalong Bay would make an uncrowded Byron Bay, and moving in.

Don’ read dis, rich folks! Oh, apparently Binalong hosts the Great Abalone Bakeoff every February – I’ve never been there for it, but doesn’t it sound good.

GOULDS COUNTRY

Off the highway a short distance to the north, this is a small timber settlement that had its heyday when tin was mined around here. It’s been called “a fine, unadulterated example of early Tasmania” and might be worth a look. There are no services.

PYENGANA

Also just off the road, Pyengana doesn’t have a pub. It is a pub.

Commonly referred to as The Pub In The Paddock, which is precisely what it is, it’s a small, pretty standard Tasmanian country pub with variable opening hours. In my

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5/11/2015 12:10 pm

experience it is rather quiet, but I suspect that tourist buses now stop there. If you get invaded, ride on to St Columbas Falls, a waterfall pleasantly set in the bush.

And don’t forget the Pyengana Café at the dairy farm. Great atmosphere, food and coffee!

WELBOROUGH

Once the Weldborough Hotel was known officially as The Worst Little Pub On The Coast (no, it’s nowhere near the coast). It was a rather rundown, whimsical sort of place with obscene cartoons plastered on the wall of the bar and a steady flow of motorcyclists through its basic but beautifully located campground. These days it is a stop on the Tasmanian Brew and Cider Trail, known as Historic Hotel Weldborough and very flash indeed. It was closed when I passed through fairly recently (well, okay, it was 8.00 o’clock in the morning) so I can’t vouch for it myself but by all reports it is worth a stop

– and you can drink your way all around Tasmania with the comprehensive range of beers and ciders*.

SCOTTSDALE

One of Tasmania’s most agreeable towns, Scottsdale allegedly also has the best soils in the entire island. One crop that takes full advantage of that is lavender. There are a couple of excellent if not exactly cheap café/restaurants in town, and all services are available. It’s worth taking a look at the Forest Eco Centre, I’m told, which is all about sustainable forestry. There is no point in going to Jetsonville, a few kilometres to the north, and asking for George. He doesn’t live there, and neither does his boy Elroy.

LAUNCESTON

Despite a bit of a messy one-way system, Launceston makes a good stop. It offers lots of 19th Century

buildings, extensive parks and gardens and the terrific National Automobile Museum which, despite its name, has some interesting motorcycles on display. And of course there is the Boag’s Brewery, owned these days by the Japanese. Tours can be booked online and are good fun, even if they do cost $33 per person. Gulp. The Queen Victoria Museum and Art Gallery has some really good exhibits on Aboriginal history. If you’ve ever wondered what all the fuss is about Huon pine, take a look in the Design Centre of Tasmania. *I am not going to insult you by carrying on about not riding after drinking. I presume you’re an adult. 

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BREAKFAST FOR “ A BEAR AND A TOAD KING E THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO SEE THE USA. HERE’S THE VIEW ACROSS A BELGIAN WAFFLE… WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread…

John Muir

”

very motorcycle (and other) tour operator needs to have something special to offer. Call it a gimmick; call it whatever you will, but it serves to make the ride more interesting and the memories more vivid. Great American Motorcycle Touring’s “Skip” Schippers offers – breakfast.

Not only is the cost included in your tour, but the actual breakfasts are without exception both memorable and excellent.

We might have been stopping in a hillbilly café on one of the main boulevards of Los Angeles or in a cheery country kitchen in a rundown mall in Fresno but wherever we were, the food was terrific and – to put it very mildly – ample. It really is no wonder that so many Americans are the size they are. I diverged from my usual American breakfast – two eggs over easy, crisp bacon and hash browns (not those shaped patties straight from the freezer that you get here) to try a variety of dishes including Belgian waffles (!) and was not disappointed - just expanded…

But goodness me, here we have arrived at the subject of food again without even mentioning the early morning armed raid in Yosemite or the sleepy near-disaster coming into Las Vegas… or, for that matter, the Case of the Criminal Bear.

How to tell it all, without missing breakfast?

“Begin at the beginning,” Alice in Wonderland’s King said as I recall, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.” That’s good advice, now as then.

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Bring the Bearalong This was the first of the Best of the West with the Bear tours, and while it certainly wasn’t crowded it was well received. It looks as if we will be running another one at about the same time next year. Skip and I are working on a number of improvements, and we’ll let you know what they are.

Getting to the beginning of the tour in Los Angeles is easy from Australia, and looks as if it will be cheaper in future too, as more airlines take on the route.

Corralled in Antelope Slot Canyon, from left: Randall, John, Jackie, Reg, William, Frank (our driver), Skip, a Bear, Gayle and Martin.

IN THE BEGINNING

At 3pm on Day Zero we all gathered in the lobby of the LAX Hilton, which is where Great American Motorcycle Touring (GAMT) puts up its tour participants on the first night. The hotel has a courtesy shuttle from the airport, so there is no problem – or cost – in getting there. Taxis then took us to the nearby office of Eaglerider Motorcycles, a large American and international rental company; unlike most other operators, Skip rents bikes rather than owning them. That’s handy both because he can tap a large pool of different models, and because he doesn’t have to move bikes around the country. As tour leader he rides his own BMW K 1600 GT, and his spare H-D Road King travels in the trailer that also holds riders’ luggage.

That Road King came in handy on the very first day… but I digress.

Most of the riders had chosen Harleys, and not just any Harleys; John and Gayle, William and Jackie and Reg were all on Ultras. Martin and I had chosen Road Kings, and Randall was the only holdout, sticking with the Bavarian brand he owned at home and riding a BMW R 1200 GS. Both of the Road Kings wore particularly attractive paint, a two-tone green that emphasised their sleek lines. And of course the green brought to mind the affectionate nickname that the Road King enjoys among my friends.

Long ago, one of them bought one and was the target of some more or less good-natured chivvying when he took it to the pub for the first time. One

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of these blokes came up with the name Toad King, and my mate seized on that with enthusiasm.

“Toad King is right,” he said. “It only takes the right prince to hop aboard to turn it into the king of the road!”

Tortured reasoning perhaps, but the nickname stuck and these days we all say Toad King, without any disparaging intention. And a couple of us own them, too; both are now jealous of that two-tone green colour scheme.

GET OUT ON THE HIGHWAY

Breakfast on Day One was at Maxwell’s, a rustic-style café on Washington Boulevard. The country atmosphere is hokey, but it actually fits the food and service. Both are good, and the place was really busy – as all of Skip’s breakfast venues seemed to be. He’s not the only one who can pick good tucker, obviously…

Getting out of LA was pretty simple, and without stress. Even in this giant metropolis of more than 20 million people, Sunday morning is relatively quiet. The key word here of course is “relatively”. At Skip’s suggestion we stopped at a place called “Planes of Fame” at Chino airport, a little way off Interstate 60. With its collection of mainly WW2 aircraft it is well worth a look, even though the quality of some of the displays lags behind, say, the HARS air museum at Illawarra Airport or Temora Aviation Museum.

We were beginning to notice the heat now. On previous SW American trips I have always had at least one or two rainy

days; this time I would almost have been grateful for rain. But it wasn’t 48 degrees yet; that came later.

Climbing the ridge to Rim of the World Highway and Big Bear Lake, it was unfortunately not only the temperature that dropped. Reg had less and less and finally no pressure from his clutch lever.

We stopped, the stricken Ultra was replaced by the spare Road King in the trailer and Skip rang Eaglerider. Yep, their Palm Springs office would replace the bike that night or the next morning at our hotel. They didn’t have another Glide, would a Heritage Softail do? Good service, even though Skip had to be a bit insistent.

Big Bear Lake was hosting a Renaissance Fair, and some of the costumes were just brilliant. So was the riding along the cool banks of the lake – but then we had to turn more north to make our way down to the so-called Lucerne Valley and Old Woman Springs Road. This is a strange place, with small houses huddling on large blocks of – well, of desert. What do people do up here? Who knows; at any rate they value their privacy. A bloke who seemed to know what he was talking about once told me: “Don’t ask.”

Recommendation received.

The swimming pool at the Joshua Tree Inn was just as welcome as the cool rooms. I have stayed at this place several times; whenever I could, in Room 8. This was where music legend Gram Parsons used to stay, and where he died. I’ll tell you the story some other time. Our idea had been that we’d settle in, cool down and then ride out to Pioneer Town – an old movie set – where there was a restaurant and supposedly some live music.

Once we were settled by the pool, that idea no longer seemed quite so attractive.

We were buggered, we were into the beer cooler (Skip keeps the cooler full by charging a buck a beer, which will give

Clockwise from top left: Ah, these Harleys don’t handle badly at all…/ Room #8 has a tragic history. / A Joshua Tree in the eponymous national park. / The open road – a US speciality. / We had no trouble with police at any stage. Luckily for me.

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you some idea of the cost of beer in the US!) and we did not want to get back into our sweaty bike clothes.

We looked at each other, raised our eyebrows, pursed our lips, sucked our teeth and otherwise attempted to cogitate until someone said the magic word. In this case, it was “pizza”. Skip made the arrangements and the most wonderful giant pizzas arrived just in time to keep the beer company. I seem to remember that the damage was five bucks each.

I always sleep well in Room 8 of the Joshua Tree Inn, and this night was no different. The morning would be the first test of Skip’s theory that you should ride an hour or so before breakfast…

WE FOUGHT THE HEAT…

And, believe it or not, the theory works!

Not fighting the heat (see below) but riding before breakfast. When we pulled out of the motel yard we took the road south, on a long loop through Joshua Tree National Park. This is an eerie place, with cartoonish-looking Joshua trees (predictably enough) and scrubby cacti alternating with steep, rounded piles of

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red stone. Well, when I say red – they’re a bit like Uluru, red at sunset but a kind of indifferent non-colour in the morning. Still impressive, and definitely eye-catching.

Breakfast was in 29 Palms, a small, strung-out town back up on the highway, at the Carousel Diner which proved to be another of Skip’s genius discoveries. The waitress, a bottle blonde of indeterminate (because I don’t want to be hit with a skillet next time I eat there) age was straight out of Central Casting and very funny. Food? Tops.

And so we took on the heat. We crossed the oddly-named Sheephole Mountains and a salt lake to get to Route 66 and Roy’s, the servo/café/motel with the famous neon sign. Here we stopped to drink cold water, pour cold water over ourselves and soak our Australian Motorcyclist Magazine neck tubes in, you guessed it, cold water. The neck tubes were proving to be highly valued equipment! Back on the road, heading east and then north-east to avoid a flood-damaged part of Route 66, we eventually reached Needles. Here we

agreed that the heat had won.

Plans to visit Oatman, the pretendWestern town filled with hokey fake cowboys and all too real smelly burros were suddenly on the table. We would be in Kingman – and in the pool and around a cold beer – a lot faster if we skipped it.

The vote was unanimous, and while that also meant missing Sitgreaves Pass, one of my favourite parts of Route 66, I voted wholeheartedly for the liquid alternative.

The pool at the El Trovatore motel, as it turned out, was waterless. But what the hell, the beer was cold.

CHECK THE RACK

We spent most of Day Three on the longest remaining segment of Route 66. After the near-48 degree heat of the previous day I had decided to pace myself, but that turned out to be more difficult to do than to decide. How do you pace yourself? Ride slower? That just keeps you out in the heat longer… I settled for more bottles of cold water from the trailer’s cooler, some to drink and some to pour over my head. That worked pretty well, and the windscreen on the

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Toad King turned out to be priceless.

Call it America’s Main Street or the Mother Road, Route 66 shelters many of the more enthusiastically esoteric (weird) small towns and whistle stops of the nation. Even without a sniff of Oatman we managed to visit several of them.

Kingman has the Route 66 Museum in its beautiful old power station, but is otherwise only mildly devoted to the tatt of the Mother Road. Hackberry, not far up the road, on the other hand is a collection of memorabilia that covers and almost hides its only public facility, the general store. Terrific stop, and every corner of the place seems to attract the camera lens.

Once back on the road, I thought that it’s interesting to consider that the rider of every bike you meet or pass on this road is probably singing inside his or her helmet: “Getcha kicks, on…” Just think, that song was originally going to be about Route 40!

We naturally stopped at Seligman, where we ate an excellent lunch in the German (!) restaurant I had noticed before but never patronised, and then

Yosemite, the world’s first national park, from Glacier Point.

Williams. Both of these towns trade heavily on the Route 66 phenomenon, and while both are unashamedly tacky they are also both really charming – in their tacky way. In Williams I bought a John Wayne Cancer Foundation T-shirt.

Along with a picture of The Duke it bears the legend “Life is tough. It’s tougher if you’re stupid”. How true, how true.

Not far past Williams we turned north and an hour later, over a very good (though Highway Patrol infested) road we reached the Grand Canyon. Our bookings had been changed so we had to ride around in near-circles for a while, but that paid off because we saw some deer including a buck with a huge rack.

It’s amazing how charming they can be, considering that they are motorcyclists’ most potent enemies in North America!

HARD DAY’S A-COMIN’

What I tell you three times, said the Bellman, is true – and I’m about to tell

Great American Motorcycle Touring The Great American Touring Group, Ltd is based at 1034 Oakland Avenue, Akron Ohio 44310. Owner and guide Steven “Skip” Schippers can be reached at skip@gamct. com or by phone on 800 727 3390 or 440 829 7241.The website is www. greatamericantouring.com.

you three times just how spectacular the US West really is. And hot. But I’ve already mentioned that.

The day started with an optional helicopter flight over the Grand Canyon.

It was expensive at $300, but well worth it. We saw rock formations that will be forever in my memory, and the pilot was right: flying out over the canyon, where the altimeter suddenly goes from 300 to 5600 feet as you clear the edge is a – gulp – experience not to be missed. The 20 minute flight feels a lot longer than that, and we had a bonus. We saw a large herd of buffalo, gathered by a road in a meadow. I couldn’t help wondering what

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because you’d need to descend into the canyon and walk for miles, I assume, to catch those photographed views.

Zion National Park made up for any disappointment. Everything in Zion, including the main road tunnel, is larger than life. It’s almost impossible to get a sense of scale with giant, vividly coloured rocks surrounding equally huge canyons on all sides. Zion Canyon itself is only accessible by free shuttle bus except in winter; we decided that when we had reached Springdale and our green and pleasant motel that we’d seen enough canyons for the day, and concentrated on the cool pool and cooler brews.

This appears to be a basic rule on bike tours: don’t let them park the bikes and get their bike gear off at the end of the day; they will not want to put it on again!

WHAT HAPPENS IN LAS VEGAS…

…is not actually all that much. We reached the place after a short ride which included the impressive Virgin River Canyon. I nevertheless managed to just about go to sleep on the bike, quite a terrifying experience. It was cured by the application of several bottles of ice-cold water to both my inside and outside.

We settled in at the Excalibur, one of the big casinos. Slightly furtive-looking gentlemen on the street handed out cards featuring photos of exceptionally well-endowed young women who had lost their clothes and all appeared to be mutants of some kind. Instead of nipples they had stars. Some of the boys went to a comedy show, I wandered around and had a few drinks and dinner in an Irish bar (yes, I know…) and we all agreed later that half a day and an evening were enough for Las Vegas.

In one casino, a bike belonging to Evel

Clockwise from top left: That’s how we roll… superb roads all over the West. / A hoodoo in Bryce Canyon. It’s amazing what rock will turn into. / Lunch on Route 66; German food, and very tasty too. / No gas? Somehow I don’t doubt it. / The Grand Canyon from above – the chopper flight is worth it. / Heading back towards LA, in the Central Valley of California. / Colourful decoration along the way on Route 66. / Two journalists exchange opinions and news.

Knievel ‘s son was for sale. It was just a pretty ordinary-looking chopper, not by any means a special machine. Just goes to show how far celebrity can be stretched. Back here in Sydney I saw a bus ad for something called “Hot Housewives of Las Vegas” and I’d have to say they’d be bound to be hot; it was 48 degrees when we were there…

THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS BAD PUBLICITY…

…except your own obituary, as Brendan Behan so perceptively pointed out. Death Valley has certainly made the most of its doom-laden appellation, despite the fact that only one member of the 13 strong pioneer party lost in the valley, and responsible for the name, actually died there. But it is the lowest, hottest and driest place in the US, so it has had no trouble holding onto its possibly undeserved but certainly memorable name.

Crossing the Nopah Range to Shoshone on the old Spanish Trail, now a one lane tarred road, was an almost mind-bending experience. It’s open country, the road just spools away in front of you, and a flying saucer landing to ask directions would not be at all out of place.

I like Death Valley a lot, especially Stovepipe Wells. This motel, store and service station in the middle of nowhere (the actual Stovepipe Wells are five miles away) is one of those lonely, underrated places that dot the world of tourism.

Walk away from it in any direction until its lights are hidden by a dune and look up at the heavens. You will find it hard to remain an atheist.

After a few beers in the comfortable bar and that obligatory walk in the desert, I hit the pillow and didn’t wake up until it was time to go. Oh, and they’ve replaced the air conditioning units, about which I have complained in the past. They’re now almost quiet. Nothing has been done about the dodgy wifi, though, despite previous complaints and promises.

Ah well, it meant a night off from email.

There is a lot more to Death Valley than you see on maps. To the west, for instance, lies Panamint Valley, which we crossed on our way out to Lone Pine the next morning. This is where a lot of the photography of “Death Valley” happens,

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with the long, bare straights and corners of Highway 190 looking oddly familiar; probably from films.

Skip had found another terrific breakfast joint hidden in a side street in Lone Pine, and we sat out in a sunny garden with some locals, tucking into our various preferred concoctions - like, say, oats (porridge) with scrambled eggs or a Belgian waffle with maple syrup, bacon, eggs over easy and wholemeal toast.

Ordering meals in the US can be a comedy routine.

“What’ll it be, honey?” - “The steak?

Porterhouse, New York, T-bone or (goes on for a half dozen more variations which I’ve forgotten)?”

“How would ya like it, honey?” (It doesn’t matter what you ask for, it always come medium rare).

“You want ranch potatoes, French fries, mashed or hash browns?”

“Would you like an egg on that?”

“Vegetables or salad?”

“What kind of dressing? We’ve got blue cheese, ranch, thousand island (goes on for a dozen more options)?”

“Biscuit, bread or toast?”

“Wholemeal, sourdough or white?”

“Buttered or dry?”

And so on. Then: “Okay. You want some water with that, honey? Still or sparkling?”

“No! Give me a double strength margarita…”

Skip insists on no alcohol during the day. He’s right.

LET ME TAKE YOU HIGHER

At 282 feet below sea level, Death Valley’s Badwater is the lowest point in the contiguous United States, apart from Washington DC (ah ha, little joke there) and just behind Lone Pine is the highest: Mount Whitney, at 14,505 feet.

We rode up to the campground that forms the start of the hike to the top of the mountain, a wonderful few miles that

Clockwise from top left: We travelled down into Monument Valley with a Navajo guide. / Hummingbird and feeder in Utah.

Neat little things. / Natural bridge in the park of the same name. / And they mean it at the Joshua Tree Inn!

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So Many Roads, So Little Time From below sea level in Death Valley to the highest paved road in North America, from ghost towns and deserts to lush forests with flowing rivers and towering waterfalls, we’ve got something for everyone. Every day, you’ll be on the best motorcycle roads we can find.

Of course you’ll see famous places = and we’ll show you hidden gems and personal glimpses into Americana that you might not find on your own.

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Route 66 14 Ride Days / 4,025 km

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This ribbon of highway carries more American Legend than any other pathway across this great nation.

Glacier NP / Canada 14 Ride Days / 3,560 km

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7 July Seattle, WA

Wonderful roads for motorcycling, incredible scenery. Meet your new Canadian friends at the Calgary Stampede!

Pacific Coast - North 7 Ride Days / 1,930 km

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Ride from sea level to 2,000 m elevation. Rugged coastline, whales and the tallest trees on earth.

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Not just Coast! Explore the grandeur of Yosemite, Kings Canyon and Sequoia National Parks too.

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A “bucket list” event! Yellowstone, Grand Teton and Rocky Mountain National Parks just happen to be along the way.

Best of the West 14 Ride Days / 4,510 km

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TEN National Parks and the Pacific Coast make this just about the most fantastic trip you can imagine - on a bike!

Coast to Coast USA 21 Ride Days / 7,250 km

9 September Los Angeles, CA

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We can’t show you all of it, but you’ll see as much of the USA as possible in three weeks. This is a Rider’s dream!

Route 66 Extended 17 Ride Days / 4,520 km

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take you over a switchback road from the dry plain to the pine forest and sparkling brook of the campsite. You can even, it seems, fish for trout up here. Well, I saw someone fly fishing.

Back down on Highway 395, we headed north in the hope of escaping some of the heat. Our overnight stay was in Lee Vining, on the shore of Mono Lake. This is another one of those natural features that look much better in photos than in real life. Mono Lake’s impressive tall limestone formations are quite a way around the lake, on a poor dirt road (a no-no for rental bikes) while the ones

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close to the tourist information centre and the road are pretty ordinary. But Lee Vining was in fact cooler; the only problem we had was at dinner, when one of the two restaurants (both owned by the same people) refused to let us move tables so we could sit together.

Ah, you don’t notice competition until it’s no longer there…

The road up to Tioga Pass, near the entrance of Yosemite National Park, is a dream. Reminiscent of many Alpine roads in Europe, it hugs the side of the mountain before climbing into the high plateau-like countryside that forms part

of the eastern end of the park.

It’s difficult to describe the beauty of Yosemite, especially of the lesser-known high section around Tioga Pass. The valley has Half Dome, El Capitan and Bridal Veil Falls but up here you traverse enormous shields of granite, ride through alleys of twisted pines and past serene rock-bounded lakes and pass stupendous, wide views across to other mountainsides. Tuolumne Meadows is almost a definition of serenity. The man who was mainly responsible for Yosemite becoming a national park, John Muir, deserves to

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be sainted in any religion you might like to mention except the worship of Mammon.

I’m not sure whether I’ve mentioned that American roads are in general excellent. A spectacular exception to this is the road to Hetch Hetchy, the valley just north of Yosemite which has been turned into a water reservoir for San Francisco. Reputedly once even more beautiful than Yosemite it is today under water, and you can probably give it and its road a miss.

Not so the roads in the valley, which are in good shape and laid out to make the

most of the views of famous landmarks.

We took a quick look at the tent village where we were staying – accommodation in Yosemite Valley is like gold – and then some of us headed up to Glacier View.

It’s a fairly long ride at the end of the day, although the roads are superb, but it is a must. The view is staggering.

RANGER, GET YOUR GUN

That night there was a knock on my tent door. I checked the clock – 3.10am – and opened the door anyway. The two Rangers outside were armed with a Tazer and a pistol, and told me they were

Left to right: A bridge. But you probably worked that out for yourself. / I included this photo just because I really like it. Taken at Yosemite. / Hey, those are buffalo down there! / Active bears, eh? Don’t see many of those around here… / Our trailer held a staggering load of stuff.

“looking for someone”. In the morning it turned out that there had been an assault in the toilet block… must have been serious, but that’s all we found out.

It is worth noting that American park Rangers are often armed. Whether it’s for grizzlies or litterers I am not sure, but it

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is interesting to note that the valley’s name derives from the local Miwok word “yohhe’meti” which means “they are killers”… not the Rangers, of course.

The next couple of days allowed us to cover the western edge of the Sierras, with an overnight in Shaver Lake and one in Three Rivers. Highlights included a look at Kings Canyon and the General Grant and General Sherman sequoias.

The latter is apparently the largest tree in the world by volume. They certainly both looked staggering, with their high, thick and sinuous branches making them resemble some kind of invading alien.

Unfortunately a large wildfire stopped us from seeing all of Kings Canyon; we had been riding in more or less dense smoke from the fire for a while.

The road down from the mountains to Three Rivers is a biker’s delight with endless corners as it drops from 6500 feet to 843. I tried to do it with the engine off, but although a couple of cars kindly got out of my way, another one simply wouldn’t concede overtaking space so I switched the engine on again and blasted past him. This kind of behaviour is rare in the US, where drivers seem to give way as a matter of habit.

Sadly our lunch date with Craig Vetter was not to be; he had hit a deer on his streamliner and was in hospital with fairly severe injuries. Get better soon, Craig, we’re all thinking of you.

Instead we buzzed across California’s Central Valley, back in 48 degree heat but marvelling at the fertility of every square foot. Coming down towards King City I pulled the trick of the trip. What I had been doing was getting ahead of the group, then taking photos as they passed and catching up with them afterwards.

This took a bit of speed; I’m not saying that I actually saw 110mph on the speedo but it might have been possible that I reached something in that order of things…

In this case I came up behind the truck towing the trailer with our luggage and the spare bike in it, not to mention

Top to bottom: That’s the Moki Dugway. A Bucket list ride, for sure! / Most of the boys have regular, steady jobs. / es, that’s right, it’s Monument Valley.

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endless bottles of cold water. There was a white car behind the truck, but I’m used to thinking of police cars in the US as being black-and-whites, so I just dialled up the Toad King and flew past – on what might have been double yellow lines. I then proceeded to pass the others, also possibly on, er, something resembling double yellows.

Frank, driving the truck, later told me that the Sheriff (for it was he in the white car, or possibly a Deputy) had been lurking for a while looking for a reason to pull us all up. He now shot past Frank, apparently nearly gibbering with fury, and pulled in behind the last bike.

Then he must have checked that number plate.

“He would have seen that it was a rental,” said Frank, “and it’s just not worth doing the paperwork for booking a foreign rider on a rental.”

Phew. And on top of that, King City has possibly the cheapest bakery in the US. A pastry and a cup of coffee from Castro’s cost me all of $3.

ALONG THE COAST AND HOME

The road down to the coast by way of Fort Hunter Liggett is beautiful. First it makes its way down to the gates of the fort, a working US Army training base, through pretty farm and ranch country.

Next it takes you through the base itself, with park-like scenery and the occasional tank. Then you enter Los Padres National Forest for the precipitous drop to the coast, where you join Highway 1 – the Big Sur road. Big Sur is well to the north, but it’s still a beautiful ride down to Cambria, where we spent our last night on the road. The seafood restaurant next to our hotel lived up to Skip’s description as “one of the best anywhere” and I thoroughly enjoyed my dinner – not that I hadn’t done that all along!

Breakfast was once again a triumph, this time at a wharfside café in Morro Bay. From then on, though, things got a bit tougher. We spent much of the rest of the day in traffic before finally handing back our bikes to Eaglerider near Los Angeles International Airport (LAX). Then it was off to the Marriott LAX with its pool and excellent steak restaurant, where we bade each other goodbye over dinner.

Top tour! 

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ASK ABOUT

STURGIS 2016!

cT and other new models arriving now! www.imz-ural.com.au p: 02 6778 7436

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LAUNCH

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YAMAHA

MT-07 HO

EVERYONE LOVES A HOT ROD!

WORDS STUART WOODBURY PHOTOS JOSH EVANS

Y

amaha’s MT-07 has been a runaway success with Yamaha struggling to keep up with the demand.

As you would be aware (well, you should be!) Australia’s version is LAMS approved, while those over in Europe have the full powered, larger capacity version. The MT-07 is such an awesome bike that the full powered version was screaming to be made available here and that’s just what Yamaha Motor Australia has done - for you! So now there are two versions, the LA (LAMS version) and this HO (High Output) version we just rode at the Australian launch.

This was not your typical launch with presentations and kissing of feet, no, it was grab the bikes and go for a blast.

Just what you or I would do on any given day with a bunch of mates, and the road we blasted up is one I’m very familiar with, the Putty Road. The weather was dry, wet, dry, wet and extremely windy. Only the brave were out on their motorcycles, just a couple plus our crazy bunch.

Riding the new HO version was also going to be a great comparison against the LA version that we now own. It would be a good test of the performance mods I’ve made, seeing how they stack up against the bigger capacity, more powerful HO. The MT-07 HO has the same chassis, suspension, brakes and seating position as the LA version. It’s all down to the super sweet parallel twin housed in the tubular steel frame that is

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LAUNCH

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different. Engine size is 689cc versus 655cc of the LA. Not a huge difference? Well, it does offer a fatter top end and a much smoother engine versus the LA. Ours has a touch more bottom end than the HO, but the HO does have that top end advantage. If you were to put a freer flowing exhaust and air filter into the HO, this would make it surpass our bike throughout the entire rev range, making it a “giggle yourself silly till you cry” kind of fun versus “giggle, then giggle some more – like a kid in a lolly shop” (as I always say).

Handling is the same super light and agile package and the brakes are powerful with excellent levels of feel – the same package, I dare say, that was fitted to the R6 a few years ago.

The HO is being sold in Australia in the one colour combo – matt silver with the blue frame and wheels. The blue highlights of the frame and wheels really look the part. In Europe this is a limited edition model. I was actually thinking of pulling the wheels off and taking them home with me, but I guess that wouldn’t suit the ‘red’ theme we’ve gone for…

Is there competition for either the LA or the HO version? Not really. For the price (the HO is only $9999 + orc) and the fun that you get from that tiny price tag, no one else has anything to offer that fits the mould of the MT-07. It might not have 200hp but that makes not one bit of difference and I should know, living with an MT-07 I smile every time I ride it. It does not have a fast top speed, but that helps me keep my licence, too! It is the torque and the way it’s put down to the rear wheel that makes this such a fun bike to ride.

If you want an all-round barrel of fun motorcycle, the Yamaha MT-07 HO (or LA for that matter) should be top of your list. The blood is pumping through my veins already in anticipation of my next ride, and you will feel that same exhilaration when you take one out. 

Top left: Stuart is wearing a Shark Speed R 2 helmet, Dririder EXO 2 jacket, Ixon HP Pro Contest 2 gloves, Thomas Cook waterproof jeans and Sidi Way Mega Rain boots.

YAMAHA MT-07 HO (HIGH OUTPUT) PRICE: $9999 (plus on-road charges) WARRANTY: Two years, unlimited distance SERVICING INTERVALS: Every 10,000km or 12 months ENGINE: Liquid-cooled parallel twin cylinder, 4-stroke, DOHC, 4 valves per cylinder BORE x STROKE: 80 x 68.6mm DISPLACEMENT: 689cc COMPRESSION: 11.5:1 POWER: 55kW @ 9000rpm TORQUE: 68Nm @ 6500rpm TRANSMISSION: 6-speed, wet multi-plate clutch, chain final drive SUSPENSION: Front, 41mm telescopic fork, non-adjustable, travel 130mm. Rear, monoshock, adjustable preload, travel 130mm.

DIMENSIONS: Seat height 805mm, weight 179kg (wet), fuel capacity 14 litres, wheelbase 1400mm TYRES: Front, 120/70/ZR17.

Rear, 180/55/ZR17 FRAME: Tubular steel BRAKES: Front, twin 282mm discs with four-piston calipers. Rear, 245mm disc, single-piston caliper.

FUEL CONSUMPTION: 5.5 litres per 100km, premium unleaded THEORETICAL RANGE: 254km COLOURS: Racing Blue VERDICT: THE MOST BANG FOR YOUR BUCK, EVER!

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TOP TOURS & TRAVEL

DRINK THE WATER COMPILED BY THE BEAR

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BAY OF BEARS INVASION You may have heard it said that New Zealand is the only Third World country where you can drink the water. It seems that that is not quite true.

Recent reports suggest that this applies to Cuba as well, and what’s more, Cuba has an outstanding public health system.

In order to check this (I’m nothing if not publicspirited) and the rum, I will be visiting Cuba in February/March of next year on an Edelweiss Bike Tour.

Dates are from the 24th of February to the 5th of March (see other dates below), but I’m adding on a day at each end to wander around Havana. That means leaving Sydney on the 21st and returning on the 9th, but you can do it in two fewer days. I can put you in touch with my travel agent who can sort the trip for you with a minimum of pain.

Want to come and check out the water (and the rum) as well as the amazing cars, scenery and wonderful people – and incidentally see Cuba before it disappears under an avalanche of American tourists?

At this stage, Edelweiss tours are on the following dates: Jan 23 – Feb 02 – Classic Cuba Feb 06 – 13 – Best of Cuba Feb 14 – 21 – Best of Cuba Feb 24 – March 05 – Classic Cuba November 06 – 13 – Best of Cuba November 16 – 26 Classic Cuba Check them out at www.edelweissbike.com/en/ touren/ and book while you can. I’ll even buy you a mojito if you’re on my tour!

Showing the flag – is that the Bay of Bears in the background? / That puts rolling your own into another dimension entirely.

JUST SAY MOO MOO A favourite joke among the locals in Australian country towns and even cities is to decide on a particularly odd pronunciation of their or other nearby settlements. That way you can pick strangers, and make fun of them at the same time. Hence you have Lon-cesten for Launceston and Fre-mantel for Fremantle.

At the bottom servo in Dorrigo I once asked for directions to Dundurrabin, and it took ages for me to get the pump

This would be a cow of a thing to ride, we reckon…

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TOP TOURS & TRAVEL

jockey to “understand” what I was talking about. He then came up with a pronunciation which seemed to have bugger all to do with the name written on the map.

There’s a similar problem with the NSW far north coast town of Mooball.

You might think that it’s pronounced the way it’s spelt, but in fact it’s called Mobil by the locals. That hasn’t stopped them from adopting a cow theme for the town. Where Maclean, a little further south, has tartans painted on anything stationary, Mooball has lavished black and white paint in Friesian cow patterns on everything that isn’t mooving.

And now there’s the themed Moo Moo Roadhouse which displays a giant Yamaha as well as its cow paint, and offers classic hamburgers which you can wash down with a milkshake before browsing the vintage memorabilia – old cars and newer bikes are on display and for sale.

The roadhouse has everything: fuel up, grab a bite to eat, have some of the reputedly excellent coffee and check out the great hot rods, motorcycles, memorabilia and antiques that are on display. There’s even free Wi-Fi. It’s at 5886 Tweed Valley Way, Mooball, phone 02 6677 0057.

THAIME FOR SMILES Thailand was never colonised by a European country. The country was known as ‘Siam’ for many years until 1948 when it was changed to Thailand which derives from ‘Muang Thai’ meaning ‘land of the free.’ But somehow the name ‘Siam’ seems to have endured until this day and gives a feeling of religiousness, tranquillity and harmony. This is what motorcyclists will experience when riding through the ‘Land of Smiles.’

Thailand is a big country. Most of the landscape is flat with straight roads but there is a lot to see and do. The road infrastructure, outside

SERENDIB CALLS YOU And not only that… The beautiful island of Sri Lanka was well known from antiquity and attracted travellers, merchants and colonisers because of its strategic geographical location, natural harbours, spices and precious gemstones.

One of the island’s exotic names was ‘Serendib’, the origin of our word ‘serendipity’ meaning an unsought lucky discovery. That is exactly what motorcyclists will feel when exploring this unique island, riding a Royal Enfield motorcycle.

Sri Lanka is the size of Tasmania and gives travellers the opportunity to visit pristine beaches, misty mountains, spectacular ancient cities, incredible wildlife reserves, European military forts, lush tea plantations and other unique attractions ... all within a fortnight.

You can also experience the food, drink, religions and cultures of the diverse people who call this island home. In spite of three decades of civil strife, the people are still friendly, willing to help and have smiles on their faces.

‘Serendib Motorcycling Adventures’ (www.

SerendibMotorcyclingAdventures.com) was established by motorcycle enthusiasts who were born, grew up and rode motorcycles all over Sri Lanka. They are keen to share these experiences with other motorcyclists on guided tours, self-guided tours or just rental motorcycles. Guided tours begin early in 2016 but the fleet of near new Royal Enfields can be rented immediately.

On offer is personalised planning of your trip based on local experience to make your trip memorable.

Contact Michael on 0438 264 632 or email info@ SerendibMotorcylingAdventures.com.

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The latest in safety gear – a few years ago

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congested Bangkok, is generally very good.

Thailand offers motorcyclists the opportunity to visit beautiful beaches, peaceful mountains, extraordinary ruined cities and other unique attractions. The mouth-watering variety of food will tantalise your taste buds.

‘Siam Motorcycling Adventures’ (www.

SiamMotorcyclingAdventures.com) was established by a Thai motorcycle enthusiast who has ridden in the USA, Australia, Sri Lanka and Thailand. He knows the best motorcycling roads, fantastic attractions, delicious food, great places to stay and activities you must experience in Thailand.

SMA offers motorcycle guided tours, self-guided tours or motorcycle rentals.

Its guided tours will begin early in 2016 but its fleet of new Benelli Tornado BN302 motorcycles can be rented immediately.

You will experience an immersion in Thai culture with personalised planning of your trip based on our local experience and the backing of friends and partners to make your trip memorable. Contact Michael on 0438 264 632 or email info@SiamMotorcycling Adventures.com

Graham outside the front of the building.

HISTORY WITH YOUR COFFEE You might think that Boonah is out in the boonies, but hundreds of motorcyclists disagree. They head out there from Brisbane on the weekend, so the manager of Flavours Café on the corner of Railway Street and Yeates Avenue told me, for the food, the atmosphere and above all the coffee.

But that’s not all.

“We didn’t have roll bars on speedway

cars when I was first driving them,” says Graham Neilsen as he shows me a very early AGV helmet that’s on display in the café, “we were just supposed to duck down when we looked like hitting something.”

The helmet’s inside consists of cotton straps held together by string, and it’s amazing that Graham isn’t held together by stitches when you hear the story of his racing life.

With his partner Jeanette Richardson, who does all the work while he schmoozes with the customers, Graham leads a slightly more sedate life nowadays.

The building, put up in 1916, was originally part of the Boonah Butter Factory but has been in Neilsen family hands since 1999.

It has been renovated very

sympathetically and offers both inside and outside (shaded) seating.

It’s a top place, and to the food, atmosphere and coffee you can add the attraction of Graham’s racing paraphernalia.

Get him to show you that AGV helmet…

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TOP TOURS & TRAVEL

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ALONG THE EDGE I’ve often looked at that “road” they call Highway 1 along the bottom of the Gulf of Carpentaria and thought about tackling it. Never got around to it, but you can ride it if you’d like to, and not only that: you can do it on the Savannah Way tour guided by Dakar legend Simon Pavey.

The organiser, Compass Expeditions (a part of the Bike Round Oz group), is calling it “Australia’s ultimate adventure ride along the northern edge of the continent. Departing Cairns on August 1st 2016 and running from the Coral Sea to the Indian Ocean, this 21 day adventure motorcycle tour “encompasses unbelievable dirt riding that ventures across a staggering four world heritage areas and offers a

Simon looks for a nice, enjoyable, fun track somewhere up in northern Oz.

chance to experience some of the finest off-road routes in Australia all whilst under the expert guidance of Dakar legend Simon Pavey and his Off Road Skills team.

“This is an incredible ride that needs to be shouted from the mountaintops,” said an excited Simon Pavey after yet another day finding tracks that haven’t been used for 30 years, (according to locals), “this certainly isn’t a wide open flat dirt track tour of Australia,” continues Simon.

Compass Expeditions co-founder Mick McDonald went along on the research ride.

“I can’t believe some of the tracks Simon has found, not super technical or enduro, but unused and some through private cattle stations and some we made ourselves,” says Mick. “We do a lot of rides around the world but this is going to be one out of the box.”

“Accommodation is a mix of camping and some of the best hotels available at stunning locations. Riding is incredible with each day having a “Special” section

in it. A qualified chef will accompany the group preparing superb lunches and dinners when camping while Simon will lead the ride on his BMW X-Challenge that he raced in the 2009 Dakar, one of 10 Dakars Simon has raced in.

“We have truly found some incredible riding through some beautiful and very remote regions of Australia” says Mick; “this can only be done by very thorough research and navigational skills, something that is paramount when competing in the Dakar.”

Bike Transport to Cairns and from Broome has been arranged if you wish to bring your own bike, for a one off flat fee no matter where you live in Australia, (except Tasmania). Our Tassie clients will need to get their bikes to Melbourne where Compass will take care of the rest.

For more information visit http:// www.compassexpeditions.com/tour/ short-adventures/savannah-way-withsimon-pavey/ or www.bikeroundoz. com, email info@compassexpeditions. com or call 1300 887 327. 

INTRODUCING...

Racey

THERE ARE PLENTY OF THINGS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IN LIFE...

PROTECTING YOURSELF IN A PAIR OF DRAYKO JEANS IS NOT ONE OF THEM.

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USED & REVIEWED

SUMMER SHARKS HUH? READ ON…

HEAD FOR THE OPEN SEA, SORRY, ROAD Shark Evoline 3 MOOV UP Mat - Price - $529.95

H

ere, as Martin Luther so memorably said, I stand; or rather sit on my bike, dreaming of the perfect helmet to wear while touring. Let’s see, I need an open face helmet so I can take photos without removing it. But I like a full face for inclement weather such as hail, snow or even just cold rain – and for excessive heat. If it’s convertible from one to the other, that conversion should be quick and easy. The helmet should be comfortable to put on, take

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off and wear – especially with specs. Of course it should be safe with universally accepted test identification, and quiet.

Last but certainly not least it should look good and stay that way for a while.

Enter the Shark Evoline 3. I was heading off to America for the Bear’s Best of the West tour and Dave from Shark importers Ficeda (www.ficeda. com.au) suggested I give this helmet a try. It would, he reckoned, meet all of my requirements.

I put the helmet through what I can only describe as a baptism of fire. On the trip through the Western US, we admittedly didn’t have any real cold and only a sprinkling of rain, but we did

have the kind of heat that really tests a helmet. Try more than 48 degrees for three days…

But let’s go through this in detail.

Unlike other flip-front helmets, the Evoline has Shark’s interesting and effective “storage” system for the chin bar, which flips right over your head and practically becomes part of the helmet’s shell at the back. That is what gives you the choice of open or full face; it is very easy to make the change – you only need one hand – and it opens the visor as well. The Evoline is also easy to get on or off, and its provision for spectacle arms makes it comfortable to wear for four-eyes like me. There is one

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problem, at least for me with my big head. When I put the helmet on while wearing glasses, one arm always ends up being pushed down to below my ear.

I have to slide the glasses out and re-insert them, which is easy enough.

I probably don’t need to mention that a helmet from a prestigious manufacturer like Shark has all the approvals you’d ever want, and the helmet not only looks good but looks like staying that way for quite a while –

how do you like the 5 year warranty?

Dave told me that the helmet has a faster opening chin bar, reduced noise and improved aerodynamics in both full face and in open face position than previous versions. I can’t comment, not

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USED & REVIEWED

HANDS LIKE A B-2

having owned a Shark flip-front before, but I was certainly happy with the opening, noise and aerodynamics. The helmet does not lift even at 100mph (and don’t ask where I did that). It has been compliance tested in both open face and full face configurations.

Ventilation has also apparently been improved and works well. The helmet is made from injected thermoplastic resin, has outside anti-scratch and inside anti-fog visor treatment, an integrated sun visor and a quick release visor system. What’s more, you can pull the lining out and wash it, which is something I really appreciated after those hot days.

In other words, top marks to the Evoline 3 MOOV UP Mat. I don’t mind rearranging my specs when I put on the helmet – I’d probably do something like that anyway.

To the best of my knowledge, Luther never rode a motorcycle but if he had, he too would have found the Shark Evoline handy – perhaps while facing the Diet of Worms? PT

DriRider Stealth gloves Price - $89.95 Having worn my DriRider Rapid gloves for the last couple of years, and worn them to death, I was in desperate need of a new pair of all-round short cuff gloves. The answer turned out to be the new DriRider Stealth gloves.

The Stealth gloves are an all-round sports touring glove made with premium cowhide and pre-curved fingers, which basically means the leather is soft and supple from go, shaping to your hands the more you wear them, making you feel all warm and cosy on the inside at how well they fit. The leather is 100% Kevlar stitched for strength and there are perforations in the upper palm area which allow a bit of airflow. They are good for all but the coldest of cold and the hottest of hot days, but in between they have to be one of the best pair of gloves I’ve worn.

You get PU knuckle and finger protectors and the palm has Kerprotec for safety.

One of the best parts of the Stealth gloves that I love is the silk-like lining, this makes them dead easy to put on and super comfy to wear. You have a Velcro closure with plenty of adjustment available, but the best thing about the Stealth gloves is that they are exactly what I want from a pair of gloves – comfort, excellent fit, understated yet stylish and offering the level of safety that will protect my hands if the worst happens.

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White: C-0,M-0,Y-0,K-0 R-255,G-255,B-255

Grey: Black: Red: C-0,M-0,Y-0,K-50 C-0,M-0,Y-0,K-100 C-0,M-100,Y-100, K-0 R-145,G-145,B-145 R-0,G-0,B-0 R-255, G-0, B-0 PMS Cool Gray 8 C PMS Black C PMS 485 C

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5/11/2015 12:01 pm

Priced at only $89.95 I strongly advise you to try on a pair of the DriRider Stealth gloves, because once you do, you’ll buy them. See your local bike dealer or visit www.DriRider.com.au SW

5

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ULTRA COMPACT POCKET PUMP

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MINI JUMP STARTER

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This little lithium jump starter is pocket-sized, light, packs a real punch and will easily tuck into a tank bag, top box or pannier.

Our mini jump starter comes with a recharging plug suitable for both YEAR BMW (merit) sockets and normal car E D WARR type accessory sockets. Comes in a compact bag with all accessories including USB port and cable so you can recharge your phone, ipad or GPS. AN

DriRider Coolite gloves Price - $59.95 Once the temperatures start to really get up into the mid to high thirties and low forties I needed a new pair of plain super perforated gloves, so at the same time as I got the Stealth gloves DriRider sent me a pair of their Coolite gloves.

The Coolite is an unlined supremely soft and light pair of leather perforated gloves. They have no Velcro closure or the like, other than an elasticised wrist, so they are a little hard to get on until you get used to them, but once they are on they are super comfy and cool to wear.

The entire upper section of the gloves is perforated and allows excellent airflow. The underside (palm and fingers) is not perforated for safety if you should happen to slide down the road. I’ve had full perforated gloves before and always wondered what might happen if I slide on my hands – I’m guessing lots of skin abrasion would be the result, so a full leather palm is a great thing to have, and the Coolite is light enough to not need perforation on the palms.

There’s really not much more to say about the Coolite as they are a simple pair of perforated leather summer gloves (just what you want in the summer), other than to once again note how soft the leather is, I bet you will cuddle them more than once – they really are that SOFT! See your local bike dealer or visit www.DriRider.com.au SW 

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EVENT

CLASS DISTINCTION

THE 2015 DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN’S RIDE WORDS/PHOTOS THE BEAR On Sunday the 27th of September, I donned my bow tie, dress shirt, sports coat, carefully ironed slacks and loafers and boarded the official Australian MOTORCYCLIST Magazine outfit. This fine conveyance took me to Sydney University, where thousands of other spiffily dressed gentlefolk were already displaying their own outstanding conveyances.

Ah! A gathering after my taste! The Sydney ride of The Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride (DGR) was about to set off on its way around the city, to North Sydney, Government House and then back to the University. So much style gathered together in one place

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– and all for a good cause (apart from also showing off our outfit to as many gentlefolk as possible).

I’ll start with DGR‘s own, somewhat truncated, description of the ride and its history:

F

or one day a year, thousands of distinguished gentlemen (and genteel ladyfolk) in hundreds of cities worldwide don their cravats, press their tweed and sit astride their classic-styled motorcycles to raise funds for prostate cancer research and awareness. It’s a day about spreading merriment whilst raising awareness of a pressing issue.

On Sunday September 27th 2015, more than 30,000 smartly-dressed gentlefolk in more than 400 cities straddled the saddles of their café racers, bobbers, scramblers and other marvellous custom motorcycles to raise awareness and help fund the cure for prostate cancer.

In grand style, dapper gents and elegant ladies rode their steeds spreading merriment and joy throughout their communities whilst raising awareness for men’s health.

The Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride was founded in 2012 in Sydney Australia, inspired by a photo of Mad Men’s Don Draper astride a classic bike and wearing

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his finest suit. It was decided a themed ride would be a great way to combat the often-negative stereotype of men on motorcycles, while connecting niche motorcycle communities. That first ride brought together over 2,500 riders across 64 cities. The success of the event encouraged the founder to consider how it could be used to support a worthy cause.

And the rest, as they say, is eloquently attired history.

The Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride is a celebration of the art of being dapper and the style of classic custom motorcycles.

What does that mean, you ask?

Think: Monocles, jaunty trimmed moustaches, silk vests, crisp shirts and tailored suits.

Ride: Café Racers, Bobbers, Classics, Flat Trackers, Scramblers and quirky, undefinable two-wheeled machines.

Do: Bring your finest manners, neatest beards and a sense of fun and adventure.

Pay: Nothing to ride (entry is free); but please consider helping our charities by getting your friends and family to sponsor your involvement.

There we go. How could I improve on that (but for a few judicious grammatical improvements, it’s true)? I had a wonderful time, saw some simply stunning sights and the motorcycles weren’t bad, either.

Indeed, you will be seeing more about them in these pages. Please allow me to encourage you to consider joining in the ride in 2016; I shall certainly be there and I am already working on an Australian Standards Approved deer stalker-style motorcycle helmet.

It rained, but nothing more than a perfunctory few drops and I am grateful to the young man who was struggling into his wet weather gear as I passed, and who almost certainly caused the rain to stop.

It’s a well-known fact, don’tcha know.

So please do keep an eye on www.gentlemansride.com and remember: ride Draper, ride dapper.

The Ride In keeping with the classic lines of Don Draper’s 1957 Matchless G3LS in a publicity photo from Mad Men,The Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride is a niche charity event held upon the last Sunday in September with gentlefolk riding their café racer, scrambler, tracker, bobber, classic vintage, classic scooter, classic chopper, sidecar, brat style, modern classic and undefinable motorcycles to raise awareness and funds for prostate cancer research.

And there was a Triumph Thruxton, surely the definitive Distinguished Gentleman’s bike, to be won. Repeat after me: aahh… 

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PUB OF THE MONTH

The Big Pic David Attenborough has argued that rather than consider an ant as an individual entity, it’s perfectly logical and sound to consider a complete ants’ nest as a single organism. For me, that also works for small towns where big smoke rules don’t apply: Rather than take a single pub as a standalone item and judge it harshly on its shortcomings, once the bigger picture of the surrounding nest is considered, the place can look a whole more inviting! I’ve found no place where this is more applicable than at Coober Pedy.

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WHITE MAN'S HOLE RIBA’S UNDERGROUND CAMPING GROUND WORDS/PHOTOS COLIN WHELAN

RATED 4 OUT OF 5 HELMETS

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t’s the mullock piles which signal that you’re near the end of your ride. Resembling some sort of weird geophagist wet dream, a vast smorgasbord of brobdingnagian pinches of salt and spices, they grab your tired eyes about 30km out of town. First they dot the landscape but soon they dominate it.

Mounds of mine waste, from a metre or so high to some several storeys tall surrounded by signs warning of endless open shafts and the dangers of walking backwards and running in any direction.

This is a landscape that’s as novel as it’s unique. Wherever you’ve come from, you’ve come a long way to get here and I can tell you one thing for sure, there ain’t nothing close to this. Now you can take that literally, figuratively, culturally, geographically or architecturally. Doesn’t matter, whichever way you’d be right!

Welcome to what’s known in the local indigenous dialect as White Man’s Hole, as ‘kupa piti’ which was phonetically transposed into “Coober Pedy’ from its original white man’s name of Stuarts Range.

I head down the access road, past the turn off to the cemetery named “Boot Hill” and then the Shell Servo, to the centre of town needing some stores so I stop at the IGA further down the main street. It’s got heaps of fresh crisp fruit and vegetables plus all the other stuff you’ll find in larger towns. The attached bottle shop also has a good range but Coober is subject to special alcohol restrictions so it’s only possible to buy one bottle of spirits or wine per day per person. (Unlimited beer though!)

I’m bound for Riba’s Underground Camping Ground which is 4km south of the town so I head out while there’s still light, take the left and follow the good gravel for 1km until I get to this amazing place. This, quite literally will be my ‘digs’ for the next two days and I’m met by, er, mine hosts.

Rick and Barb arrived in Coober Pedy 21 years ago, in a campervan, aiming to drive around Australia. They were booked in for standard camping at Riba’s which was then owned by a German who was about to sell the rudimentary camp and its attached two small cliff face mines to a young Swiss couple.

Well the Swiss bloke fell over while noodling on a mullock heap and the sale fell through in the three weeks Rick and Barb were camped and, to cut to the chase, they fell in love with the blue sky and the clean air, Barb got opal fever and they decided to put the trip on hold and buy the joint. (‘Noodling’ is bare hand fossicking through the mullock piles.)

Neither will claim credit for coming up with the idea of underground camping but it evolved during a trip back to Melbourne to sell their car and other stuff. When they arrived back they began to dig .

By hand.

Each stick of gelignite yielded a metre of progress. It also yielded 35 wheelbarrows of rock, with 15 shovelfuls per barrow load. All to be pushed uphill to the exit by Rick.

Pretty soon Barb told him that it was going to take a 100 years or it was going to kill them so they called in a couple of miners with an tunneling machine. In 1996 they opened the first section, a long common area like a long stone dining room.

People went crazy. It was full all the time. They decided to expand. Working during the hottest months of January and Feb, they finally opened the 12 alcove extension and the enlarged TV and internet room in 2006.

They’d spent 9 years living in a hole, sixteen years without their own bathroom but finally had

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PUB OF THE MONTH

Diggings I’ve been calling my domicile my, ‘digs’ ever since my university days. I think I got it from my Dad. It’s a contraction of ‘diggings’ which was first used in the sense of a place to stay back in the mid-1800’s, with Charles Dickens using it in his 1844 book, Martin Chuzzlewit, and by the 1890s it’d been shortened to just ‘digs’ primarily by actors who were always looking for a spare bed in which to crash.

As I rode the 5km south of town to Riba’s Underground Camping Ground, I realised that never has it been more apposite! their dream. And it was the dream of a lot of others too. The only underground camping ground in the world, in the quiet serenity 5km out town and a full kilometre from the highway, was a hit from the beginning.

Quite simply it is unique and a lot of fun!

Reception is above ground so I hand over my 30 bucks for the two nights and ride around to the entrance. The flies are fierce at 3.30 in the arvo but as you walk down the ramp and into the cave, they hang back in the sun: no need for screens or doors or sprays, nature takes care of it all. Brilliant!

Down the ramp and into the cavern. I head to the back section where already a few tents are set up and chuck my stuff into ‘my’ alcove. I figure there’s no need for a tent so it’s just the Thermorest cot and my sleeping bag. Easy. Next to me a couple of blokes I’d met up north the previous day are already fully set up.

The air is cool and dry. Each alcove has a light and the walkways have regular ventilation and natural light tubes. It’s cool, quiet, peaceful, unworldly.

In addition to the open camping alcoves the underground also has five rooms all with a double bed and at least one bunk. Cost is $66.00 per double with extra adults at $25.00 per night. Good if you’re not travelling with camping gear but the rooms lack the unique atmosphere of the open camping alcoves.

Once I’ve settled in I head into town.

The only traditional pub in CP is the

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Opal Inn and if you wanna pass time at the end of a long ride in a sterile, characterless mausoleum with nowhere to escape the blaring TAB (are all punters deaf?), ‘served’ by young things who aren’t too happy being distracted from the ‘social’ media on their phones, then this is the place for you. Otherwise don’t waste your time because there’s a couple of far better options.

The Outback Bar and Grill is attached to the Shell Servo and the service is tops, the drinks are reasonable, the food good and atmosphere outback-friendly.

But if you’re after something more, well, more Cooper Pedy, head down to the Desert Cave Hotel where the bar and café are underground and the pool room is cut into the rock. Oh and there’s no PubTab although the service can be a bit slow and offhand.

Riba’s has a deal with the best pizza joint in town: John’s Pizza Bar is across the road from the Desert Cave and though it has an extensive menu of Pasta, Grills and Seafood, where else are you ever going to get a chance to eat a country’s emblem? Yup, number 33 on the menu is the Coat of Arms Pizza featuring emu metwurst and smoked kangaroo! I didn’t know whether I should cut it or salute the bloody thing!

Another astonishing thing about Coober Pedy is the water: the sweetest water you’ll have tasted in ages and oh so much better than most capital city supplies.

It’s local artesian which is pumped up, undergoes reverse osmosis and is then chlorinated, but Rick reckons the trick is that heat dissipates chlorine and so as the water stands in the water towers, the burning sun warms the water and removes the chlorine taste. He tells the story that if you ever drink a litre of the

stuff you’ll never leave Coober Pedy.

The processing also makes the water expensive, about 250% of what city folks pay, and Riba’s is the only camping ground in the town with free showers.

It’s also the only place with free toilets, cooking and internet!

The kitchen has three gas rings, good seating and tables all within a bug meshed enclosure on the surface and the toilets and showers are very clean and well maintained.

You can park at the mouth of cave and in the morning your bike’ll be dry and untouched.

So, following Attenborough’s principle of treating Ribas and Coober Pedy all as one organism, (see sidebar) it rates well into the four helmet category whilst being off the charts for unique character.

When you add the good bar at the Outback Bar and Grill and the IGA stocked with fresh food and reasonably priced drinks to the completely memorable accommodation with its quality facilities, and friendly owner, you end up with a 100% MVP (Must Visit Place.)

My life’s about making memories. If yours is too, you’ve gotta get yourself deep into the guts of Australia and chill out in Coober. James Reyne once proclaimed that, ‘every day above ground is a good day’, but hell, a couple of nights below are way, way better than merely good!

Full disclosure: Contrary to usual industry practice, I was not offered nor did I seek any discount or special deal whilst staying at any establishment mentioned in this review.

Thanks to my HR Dept for their continuing inspiration. 

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XMAS GIFT GUIDE

Special Feature

HO, HO, HO! YOU GUESSED RIGHT; IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR

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ep, that time of year where Aussies and our good neighbours the Kiwis sweat their way through joyous Christmas days with plenty of good food and plenty of icy cold beer. And now buying a present for a motorcyclist has been made easy with our gift guide. We’ve scoured the world for goodies, and there is bound to be something to suit every budget and taste in the following pages. Enjoy!

MOTORCYCLE TOURS For the ultimate Christmas present, give the motorcyclist in your life (or give yourself!) a cracking holiday on an organised tour. There are many advertisers in the pages of Australian Motorcyclist to choose from, with tours running all over the world. And if you’re quick, we highly recommend coming on

COMPILED BY STUART WOODBURY

our very own Hiamo tour with Paradise Motorcycle Tours New Zealand, which will run late Jan, early Feb 2016.

GARMIN www.garmin.com.au Virb XE - $529 The Virb XE is a rugged HD action camera with built-in GPS to track and overlay data on footage. It has an exposed microphone for clear audio underwater (not that you want to be doing that!) and is waterproof to 50m without a dive case.

You also get built-in Wi-Fi and Bluetoothenabled audio.

Zumo 590LM - $899 A premium GPS motorcycle navigator with dual-orientation, sunlight-

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readability and a glove-friendly touchscreen display. The device is ruggedly built and withstands fuel vapours, UV rays and harsh weather.

We’ve tested and loved the 590LM, so it comes highly recommended.

HOUSE OF MARLEY

www.houseofmarley.com.au

Chant BT Sport - $149.95 For those who can’t be without their tunes at the end of a ride, the Chant BT Sport is a portable Bluetooth audio device designed for the outdoor enthusiast and extreme sports buff.

Built tough to withstand rough treatment the Chant BT Sport is also water resistant and even floats without sacrificing the superior quality sound for which House Of Marley is renowned. Boasting two 4.5 watt 1.75 inch drivers with 2 passive radiators to pump out that bass and a 3.7 volt USB rechargeable

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lithium-ion battery, this is a portable speaker that is built to fill your day with a sublime music injection. The device is the size of a water bottle, so it is easily packed into any luggage space.

BMW MOTORRAD

branding for those who love to drink coffee or tea – and isn’t that your favourite motorcyclist?

Logo Wallet - $90 High-quality, classic black leather wallet with functional design: 2

GERBER http://au.gerber.com/ Dime - $34.95 The Dime is a pocket-sized tool that’s ultra-lightweight and jam packed with

www.bmwmotorrad.com.au or your local BMW dealer

Rallye Teddy - $55 Who doesn’t want to cuddle up to this cutie? BMWs teddy bear with Rallye motorcycling suit and removal enduro helmet. He is approximately 28cm in size.

Logo T-shirts - $45 (Kids), $65 (Ladies and Men’s) Large print “BMW Motorrad” logo type on front, triple quilt stitching in contrasting colour at hems, embroidered BMW logo on left sleeve, small side label and made from 100 % cotton for the Motorrad fan. Kids available in red, ladies in blue and men’s in grey.

Logo Cup - $20 White porcelain cup with large BMW Motorrad

compartments for banknotes and 1 coin compartment with stud fastener, 10 card compartments and 1 concealed compartment for a secret card. There is also a flip-open mesh compartment for an ID card and BMW branding by way of a stamped “BMW Motorrad” and metal badge BMW logo.

HORIZONS UNLIMITED www.horizonsunlimited.com

2016 Calendar - $19 Inspire that next travelling adventure

with this 2016 calendar from Horizons Unlimited. Featuring some wonderful photos from adventurers from across the globe, it will look great in any part of the house, man cave or garage. Visit www.horizonsunlimited.com/store/ calendars/2016-calendar to purchase.

a total of 10 individual tools, ideal for a variety of everyday situations. Taking the standard key-chain multi-tool and ramping it up a notch, the Gerber Dime is designed to be taken with you wherever you go - except on a plane!

BG Grandfather Knife - $44.95 Equal parts utility and encouragement for adventure, the BG Grandfather knife is for anyone who enjoys that taste of the “old school” vibe. The tool selection is simple by design, offering what you need to save the day at the picnic when there’s no wine opener in sight, or to adjust the throttle on your mower without making a trip back to the garage. Includes fine edge blade, corkscrew, flat and Phillips-head screwdrivers, small file and all-important bottle opener.

ANDY STRAPZ www.andystrapz.com Sholda Bagz - $88 plus postage An extremely handy bag, the Sholda is made from new generation “oilless”

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XMAS GIFT GUIDE

Special Feature from Andy’s super heavy duty Aussie Canvas they are secured by his unique tensioning system.

TARMAC – www.cassons.com.au Waterproof GPS/Phone Holder $24.95 - $29.95 Clear screen for easy reading of GPS/ Phone units, and comes with a double zipper and foam inserts for a secure oilskin. Officially called Fortress it turns 100% cotton fabric into a microporous, hydrophobic, breathable, washable bag that looks just like old fashioned oilskin. The best of both worlds!

big BMW GS with this instructional DVD that shows you drills, skills, tips and techniques for riding the BMW GS motorcycle off-road. It’s also good for other big adventure bike owners, too.

Exped SynMat - 2 Sizes, Standard (M) $142 and Long Wide (LW) $158 plus postage The Ultralight Mat is about the size of two cans of beer and weighs less. It can be blown up by mouth in about 20 breaths and we’ve used it in some

pretty cold conditions. For the majority of Aussie applications the -4 rating is more than enough insulation from the creeping cold of the ground. This mat comes in two sizes (Standard and Long/ Wide) depending on how big you are.

Traveller Pannierz - $345 a set, plus postage Designed to fit any bike with side covers/panels or fenders these are backed with a special adjustable, sticky, memory foam pad. This pad will reduce the scuffing of bodywork. Made

Touratech Handlebar bags – from $67 Touratech’s range of handlebar bags gives you practical storage space exactly where you need it. A wide opening, water-repellent, dustproof zip provides easy access to a large main

fitment. Available in 3 sizes up to a 5.7" screen and 3 different mounts are available at an extra cost.

Waterproof Super Glow Clock - $59.95 It’s always good to know what time it is, especially with varying speed limits at different times of the day.

This stylish clock has a waterproof analogue face with easy to read numbers and illuminates in the dark, making it great for all times of the day and night.

compartment in which the things you need quickly - a first aid kit, spare pair of gloves, breakdown kit as well as your travel documents, wallet, sunglasses and mobile phone - are well protected.

A key feature is that the bag doesn't in any way restrict the rider's movements or affect control of the bike.

3-litre jerry can - $30 Touratech’s 3-litre jerry can, with a standard opening (suitable for pump

TOURATECH www.touratech.com.au BMW GS Off-Road Riding Skill Instructional DVD - $56.99 Brush up on your off-road skills on the

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HPA25529 Oils and Chemicals Press Ad Resize_V1_HR.pdf

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XMAS GIFT GUIDE

Special Feature

nozzles), lets you safely transport the liquids you need – such as red wine, water (not taste-neutral) or even petrol.

The jerry can is approved for use as a fuel container. It also features a childproof cap for extra safety.

and tactile feedback with the one affordable price tag.

ZORROS www.zorros.net.au Tourmaster jacket - $599.99 This new addition to the range of Zorros clothing adds modern protection with a 220gsm Dupont Kevlar lining to the retro styled wax cotton Tourmaster jacket. In addition to the Kevlar

INNOTESCO www.innotesco.com.au Daytona Arrow Sport GTX short boots A motorcycle boot that allows easy access, is secure and safe as well as

comfortable to wear from chilly and damp conditions to hot riding conditions.

Rukka Airider jacket There's still no air conditioning for

motorbikes, but the Rukka "AiRider" jacket, made of Cordura AFT, has nearly the same effect – it stays cool when things heat up.

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Rukka Armaxion suit The high-tech suit “Armaxion” brings together all the characteristics of high quality textile motorcycle apparel that is ahead of its time. You want one of the best, here it is.

Rukka Ceres gloves If you like a sporty type glove without a gauntlet and don’t like the usual wet hands that come with non-waterproof sports gloves, the Ceres is your answer – a shorter cuffed sports glove that’s waterproof!

Rukka Rytmi gloves A lightweight Rukka summer glove that offers a unique combination of protection, wear comfort

lining there is also the facility to fit CE approved armour at the elbows shoulders and back. The Tourmaster pattern has been enhanced with slightly longer arms to cater for higher, wider and lower bars such as Apes, Beach and Clip On handlebars plus bigger pleats at the shoulders to allow better movement and a slightly longer body to further prevent ride-up of the jacket for better rider comfort. Retro styling with modern protection.

HAYNES www.cassons.com.au

Working V-Twin Motorcycle Engine - $49.95 The perfect Christmas present for the lover of V-twin engines. Designed

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to be a fun project to put together, and when finished, a practical aid to understanding how a full-size fourstroke motorcycle engine works. This kit contains all the parts and tools you need to assemble the working model. It comes complete with its very own Haynes Manual, giving you clear step-by-step instructions to guide you through the build process. All you need to provide is the time and three AA batteries. The base includes a sound chip that reproduces the noise of a v-twin engine running while the model operates.

DAINESE www.cassons.com.au Manis back protector - $299.95 Claimed to be the most advanced design

HONDA – www.honda.com.au or your local dealer

palm in kangaroo leather, these soft and supple gloves have pre curved fingers, micro-elastic elasticated inserts, soft inserts and polyurethane inserts on the knuckle for comfort.

Available in men's: XS-3XL and ladies: XS-LG.

RIDESOFT www.cassons.com.au Various Comfort Gel Pads with Neoprene and Sheepskin covers – From $99.95 Made with advanced Viscoelastic moulded gel used in medical and

Honda Bar Mat - $25 PVC bar mat with embossed Honda logo. Dimensions: 585mm (w) x 195mm (h).

Repsol Honda Polo - $119.99

100% cotton piquet polo shirt with short sleeves, which features Honda, Repsol, HRC and GAS logos.

that breaks the classic design patterns and sets new ergonomic standards.

The innovative construction gives the protector three more degrees of freedom than protectors of the past, thus allowing it to closely replicate all the shapes of the human back in typical motorcycle racing positions.

Veloce gloves - $149.95 Made from cowhide leather with the

sports applications. Comfort-Max gel is 3/4” thick and will not bottom out. It helps to eliminate pressure points or “hot spots” which can cause discomfort, while absorbing vibrations, small bumps and road irregularities eliminating that numb feeling.

Also, a layer of memory foam on all models conforms to your shape, eliminating localised pressure while offering the highest level of protection.

Available with neoprene or sheepskin covers and rain covers.

Honda Racing Hoodie - $80 Durable tricot fabric with soft brushed backing for comfort, side welt pockets and featuring Honda, Honda Racing and Honda Wing logo embroidery.

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Special Feature

ARAI www.cassons.com.au CT-Z helmet - $549.95 This CT-Z marries Arai’s newest comfort and fit features to the unparalleled six decades and three generations of the Arai Family’s obsession with your protection and comfort.

XD4 helmet – $699.95 - $799.95 All adventures await you while wearing the XD4 with it excellent shape, aerodynamics and adjustability. The XD4 now also comes standard with the

order through your local Triumph dealership.

Triumph Canvas and Leather Luggage - From $94 to $315 Choose from Triumph’s range of wash bags, messenger bags and holdalls in canvas and hunter leather or tumble leather options.

visor fitted with Pinlock posts.

TRIUMPH – www.triumphmotorcycles. com.au or your local dealer

Triumph Tees – From $49 Various styles available to

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Eddy The Teddy - $37.65 Goggles and helmet included. Cute and cuddly by default. All materials are fireproof, non- allergic and nontoxic. 100% polyester. Perfect gift idea or collector's item. Includes display box. Size: 10 inches tall in sitting position.

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rubber handle and adjustable for various fork widths. Packaged in a well

MUSTANG SEATS www.mustangseats.com

BMW R nineT - $369US Mustang’s Tripper Fastback for the R nineT features a lean look, positioning the rider lower than stock while providing a cushion for the occasional passenger on the rear portion.

Indian Scout - $329US Mustang’s seats for the Indian Scout combine the latest in comfort with the

look of yesteryear. These seats feature Mustang's proprietary foam, precisely moulded to the shapes and angles needed for optimal cruising comfort.

Available in classic black or new Indian Brown.

Harley-Davidson Softail Breakout FXSB - $366US Mustang’s Tripper Fastback for the Harley-Davidson Breakout is cut low to create a super clean, custom look.

Good back support for the rider while the tapered rear section still provides passenger comfort. The centre panel is hand-stitched in a classic ribbed pattern.

presented, easy to carry box, which will look great under the Xmas tree!

Available in Black or Grey.

Spartan helmet - $199.95 - $219.95 Constructed from ABS polycarbonate plastics and featuring a ‘TSS’ twin shield system, visor locking on left side base plate, removable and washable

RJAYS www.rjays.com.au Universal front stand - $129.95 Including both pickups for conventional and radial brake calipers with easy rolling nylon wheels, nonslip

cheek pads and lining and replacement visors available in Clear, Light Smoke, Dark Smoke and Iridium Silver, Gold and Blue. Replacement cheek pads and lining also available and the Spartan is available in a wide range of colours/graphics.

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Special Feature

14mm wrenches, a spring puller, 9 piece metric hex ball end set, a pair of tyre irons, air pressure gauge, locking pliers, adjustable wrench, 2-in1 Spark plug socket, 6-in1 screwdriver, 6-in1 spoke wrench, 3 way

FICEDA www.ficeda.com.au

SCORPION www.cassons.com.au Phoenix jacket - $449.95 Classic styling, retro look distressed leather, made using 100% A Grade leather and featuring CE approved, removable shoulder, elbow and back protectors, 2x chest and 2x back zipper vents, 3 pockets and adjustable waist with zipper and button tabs. Available in Antique Black or Brown.

Oxford Digi Tyre Gauge - $39.95 The Digi Tyre Gauge is the perfect stocking stuffer. It has a large back-lit display for easy reading in the dark, and a wide choice of pressure scales available. Add to that a rotating dual valve system and a pressure release valve.

Velo Sport Off-Road Tool Kit - $159.95 This kit consists of 8,10,12,13 &

IND ICATO R AN D PO SIT ION

T-handle with 8,10 & 12mm sockets, valve core remover and repair tool, tyre repair kit (rubber cement, scuffer & patches), an assortment of metric bolts and some zip ties. Oh, and a kitchen sink. Just kidding.

LIG HT S

MOTOGP

BRADLEY • • • •

Increase your visibility to other road users Can be retro fitted to Barkbusters JET, VPS and STORM guards Indicator and Position Lights are E mark approved 15 Super Bright LED’s per light

SMITH #38

MORE INFO AT: WWW.BARKBUSTERS.NE T 96

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models of iPhone and Samsung phones, providing protection from water, snow, dust, dirt and impact.

As well as protecting your phone from the

Oxford Rainex Deluxe Cover - $99.95 Oxford’s Rainex Deluxe Cover provides protection against rain, dust, sun, snow and hellfire. Handlebar air vents prevent condensation, a tough outer protects against weather and hard knocks, and a soft inner helps limit scratches.

elements, the Smart Phone Holder is designed to make accessing it easy, even when wearing riding gloves.

Ipone Racing Chain Lubricant - $23.95 Ipone is a global leader in motorcycle oils and lubricants.

This chain lube will keep the recipient of this gift well lubricated at all times. 

Interphone Smart Phone Pro Case Bar Mount Holder - $89.95 This smartphone holder comes in various shapes and sizes to fit various

The most enjoyable journey begins with the best gear

Avduro & Expedition Pannierz

Bahco tools

Trek 3 Sleeping Bag Jetboil

Exped DownMat Shoei Hornet and Neotec

Tek Towels

event details on our facebook page facebook.com/andy.strapz

Andy Strapz approved gear is specially selected and tested for quality and motorcycle friendliness.

If it wears the Andy Strapz brand, it’s made to the highest standards here in Australia.

www.andystrapz.com www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

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ADV TEAR-OUT MAP #19

HEAD SURFSIDE

VIA THE WAY THE PIGEON FLIES - ULLADULLA TO BATEMANS BAY, NSW

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fuel stop before you get to Nelligen and/or Batemans Bay.

ULLADULLA

This sleepy seaside town is a holiday destination for many during long weekends and school holidays. Then the town comes alive and gets quite busy.

You can get fuel and most supplies.

Pigeon House was sighted by Captain James Cook upon his journey along the eastern shores of Australia. Pigeon House has recently been renamed “Didhol” out of respect to the elders of the Yuin nation, the Aboriginal elders past and present who originated from the area Ulladulla was built upon. The traditional name of the peak, Didhol, means “woman’s breast”, from the mountain’s clear resemblance to the shape of exactly that. Well, we think so.

MILTON

BROOMAN

his month we head to the beach because as the temperatures start to warm up, there’s nothing better than cooling off in the surf after a dirty ride on the trails. This route takes you from the popular New South Wales surfside town of Ulladulla across and past Pigeon Mountain and down south to the even more popular Batemans Bay.

Milton is a small town that is now a “trendy” place to go. It has many cafes and a couple of antique shops, and world famous chef, Rick Stein has his seafood restaurant at nearby Bannisters Point. Fuel is available so it’s a good idea to fill or top up here as it’s the last

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PIGEON HOUSE MOUNTAIN

A few shacks spread around the place, but more of a landmark to let you know you’re on the right track.

NELLIGEN

Nelligen is a village on the Clyde River.

It is on the Kings Highway and while

you can get fuel, it is only eight kilometres from Batemans Bay. Nelligen is good for river cruises along the Clyde, so you might like to make some time to experience this relaxing area.

BATEMANS BAY

Fishing, surfing and more relaxation is what you can experience at your final destination of Batemans Bay. There is a motorcycle shop, plenty of fuel and the Bay Wharf café on Clyde Street is well worth a stop for a nice feed and good coffee.

AN ALTERNATIVE WAY HOME

If you came from Sydney or just want to make your way back north, I recommend stopping into some of the beachside villages along the way. South Durras, Pebbly Beach, Merry Beach, Kioloa, Bawley Point are just some of the sleepy places where you can camp or find accommodation. All have great beaches with crystal clear water and lots of good fishing spots. 

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CLASSIC MORRIS

LESTER IS MAD AS HELL…

…ABOUT THE DIABOLICAL WAY IN WHICH SPEED LIMITS ARE ENFORCED WORDS LESTER MORRIS

F

ortunately the traffic was quite a bit heavier than it had been earlier in the morning, because the swine who was just setting up shop when I rode home again would have caused my bank balance – such as it is – to have a large dent placed in it, had his nefarious business been set up earlier.

I had thundered through that quiet area much earlier in the morn, perched precariously upon a very swift, homebrewed special which consisted of a highly-modified, 1200cc HarleyDavidson engine mercilessly shoehorned into a Japanese frame which had originally housed a very early, 1000cc four-cylinder Yamaha power-plant.

The frame had been smartly anodised in a metallic gold, with highly-polished, contrasting alloy engine plates, the hand-made, sculpted fuel tank and tin-ware in a deep, British Racing Green colour, the Dunlop alloy rims shod with fat tyres. A neatly shaped, very supportive, long – if single – saddle helped take the edge of the firm suspension system, which had also been extensively modified. The original, most impressive (if dangerously ineffective) stainless steel twin disc brakes on the front had been thoughtfully replaced by cast-iron discs with their much better 1 Color- Grey Scale co-efficient of friction, which resulted in a great, ‘two-finger’ front anchor. The 2015 35th Anniversary Logo Sheet

rear brake was a smaller, single disc and for some odd reason, was stainless steel.

The blast along the Bells Line of Road in the cool morning air was a joy, to say the least, even if the suspension was a tad too firm for my liking, the bike steering to a hair, even over some very uncertain road surfaces. I sat at the side of the road for a time thereafter to admire the view and grin at the passing peasantry, then turned back, cursing the limited lock of the ‘Lock Less Monster’, which made it a real handful to turn the thing around at low speed as well as in heavy traffic. I s’pose I might be getting a bit long in the tooth, because that wasn’t such a hassle all those long years ago!

So there I was, burbling quietly along with streaming traffic on the Old Northern Road near Dural, when I espied a fellow up ahead who had just illegally parked his double-cab, canopied ute on the grass verge and had climbed out of the vehicle, a small sign underneath his arm. The ute was painted in a soft cream colour, with a strange, orange and yellow chequered strip emblazoned down the side of it, in much the same way as Police cars, Fire engines and Ambulances are decorated. I had a fair idea who this bugger was, but I pulled across into the small parking lot of a convenient road-

side coffee shop a little further along to watch him as he began to conduct his shameful business.

As I had approached him from the North I had observed that there was a camera-like device peering shyly backwards from just inside the darkened rear window of the canopy, and I knew only too well what that fiendish device was. I then ordered a coffee and a sticky bun, which dutifully provided me with a first-class excuse to sit quietly alongside the Harley’s tinkling engine as I watched this man at work.

He strolled very casually southwards for some distance before being seen to place a too-small A- framed sign on the grass, the notice bearing the legend “Your Speed Has Just Been Checked”, so my assumption as to what the device which was hidden out of sight inside the vehicle’s canopy was, was correct; it was, of course, the sinister, so--called ‘Speed Camera’.

This oaf then strolled casually back to his vehicle, an ill-concealed smirk upon his rough, un-shaven countenance, his protruding beer-belly thinly disguised by the ill-fitting, bright yellow, Day-Glo vest he was desperately attempting to fasten. I couldn’t help but notice that one trouser leg was considerably shorter than the other, which seemed to indicate - at least it did to me - that he was excited by what was about to happen.

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Gradient Grey Scale

It also appeared to me that this man was finding it very difficult to attach the Velcro fastener on the front of the large, imposing vest, which indicated that walking was enough of an enterprise all on its on its own, while attempting to do two simple things at once seemed to me to be quite beyond him.

The difficulty he was clearly experiencing put me in mind of a remark which an American President made several times about a Presidential candidate. Lyndon Johnson insisted that Gerald Ford was so dumb that he couldn’t fart and chew gum at the same time. That was probably not true; at least I fervently hope not, but I wouldn’t bet against that statement in relation to the bloke I was watching so closely.

The owner of the canopied ute was clearly a civilian, for he wore no uniform, although he had probably been issued with an ID card of some description to wave in the face of some chagrined motorists who may have suddenly noted the camera (or at least the little sign) as they drove past the ute at an ‘extreme’ speed, having suddenly discovered they had been travelling too quickly. The ‘offending’ road-user, I suggest, would have had every right to clamber out of – or climb off, had it been me – his motor vehicle to stride purposefully back and indulge in a loud conversation at (no, now with, at!) the clown who had so anonymously/profitably booked the suspect for ‘speeding’.

Whether a confrontation was on the cards or not, the hapless miscreant would soon be notified of the transgression when a windowed envelope with a Notice inside it would arrive at his address a few weeks later to officially advise him of this

fact. The Notice would doubtless have demanded a large donation to the State’s Consolidated Revenue coffers as well.

No, the person who was laying out his calling card in the form of that little sign was clearly one of that army of deceitful businessmen who are said to have been contracted to the State’s police force to book offending road-users who had the temerity to drive a couple of clicks over the road’s obligatory speed limit. Little matter that the closely attendant, nighinvisible 60 sign stood just a few meters back from where the canopied ute was parked, and was at the end of a long area which had previously been marked by a clear 80, and then a 70, roadside sign.

The area was, and still is, a trap for the unwary, as well as a handy source of income for the State Government and for the oaf who was taking advantage of the simple error of a multitude of other road users.

To make matters a whole lot worse, I could clearly see that the offender had climbed casually into the cab of his anonymous, un-marked vehicle, torn open a large brown paper bag and had begun scoffing a large sandwich, the while un-corking a Thermos flask which obviously contained a libation of some description. Clearly, he needed little physical exertion in that job, for he settled down comfortably in his ute’s cabin, relying entirely upon the one-eyed Cyclops in the rear of the vehicle for his income, the device unintentionally abetted by the inattention of numerous road-users.

After he had finally finished his refreshments and had a stretch and a yawn, the man climbed slowly out of the cabin and casually strolled back along the green verge to a point several meters

behind his offending vehicle to plant a very small sign in the tall grass (which rendered the sign almost invisible) to warn unwary road-users that there was a “Speed Camera Ahead!”

He then returned to the anonymity of his van and opened a newspaper, which he read for a while before opening what appeared to be a large, brightlyillustrated colour-in book, in which he appeared to join the dots and colour in the mono pages.

As I sat there quaffing my third coffee and second sticky cream bun, wiping the traces of the first bun off the tip of my nose, my chin and the front of my shirt, I wondered idly if there was a standard remuneration available to this businessman, of if he worked on a basic stipend with added commission.

I can only imagine the advertisements in the Sydney Morning Herald calling for unfeeling swine like him who may have been interested in a business of this scandalous type.

Perhaps an ad for this enterprising business might read:HELP SAVE CHILDRENS’ LIVES! RID THE NATION’S ROADS OF SPEED DEMONS FOREVER! ASSIST YOUR STATE TO PROSPER AS NEVER BEFORE; AND Y OURSELF AS WELL! “*Ideal, totally-secure business opportunity exists for enterprising owner/booker with own, suitably anonymous vehicle. Special electronic surveillance material supplied at slight initial cost, or can be hired at reasonable rates. *Rewarding position for civic-minded, un-caring person with no conscience.

Remuneration is by basic stipend and commission, with potential for high

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MOTORCYCLIST TOURS

EXPERIENCE PURE NIRVANA RIDE THE LAND OF PARADISE

J

oin the next Trip of a Lifetime with MOTORCYCLIST and Paradise Motorcycle Tours NZ. Our 2016 Hiamo South Island tour will run from 26 Jan to 6 Feb 2016 – 11 days of glorious roads and scenery that will knock your socks off. Everyone who came on the 2015 Hiamo Tour was stunned at the amazing sights and even more amazing roads.

For 2016 we have more riding, more scenery – Kaikoura, Hanmer Springs Thermal Resort, Lewis Pass and Buller Gorge Road - more of the wild West Coast and a free day to explore the Otago Peninsula.

So from the front or back of your nearnew rental bike (the most up to date fleet in NZ) you’ll experience even more of the South Island, and this time we go anti-clockwise!

Another guide has been added, too.

With the high demand for this tour, Paradise Motorcycle Tours is adding a second motorcycle guide, which means

there can be two groups, each with a guide, to maximize your safety and enjoyment.

More options are another benefit of having two guides. You can take a shorter route on some days to relax and explore the final day’s destination, or enjoy a longer route for maximum riding time and sights from the saddle.

I really look forward to seeing you there, if you want the best time of your life and want to experience the highest state of happiness that you could attain, remember to book as early as possible, because this will be a very popular tour. SW Booking: Contact Paradise Motorcycle Tours on Ph: +64 9473 9404, email info@paradisemotorcycletours.co.nz or visit the website www.paradisemotorcycletours.co.nz

BAND A Bike/s up to 800cc

Here is a quick rundown of the tour: Day one -

Christchurch to Hanmer Springs (via Kaikoura) Day two – Hanmer Springs to Punakaiki Day three – Punakaiki to Franz Josef: Choose from two ride options today.

Day four – Franz Josef to Queenstown Day five – Free day to explore Queenstown Day six – Queenstown to Te Anau: Choose from two riding options today.

Day seven – Milford Sound: with a two hour cruise on the Sound.

Day eight – Te Anau to Dunedin Day nine – Free day to explore Dunedin Day ten – Dunedin to Tekapo Day eleven – Tekapo to Christchurch

BAND B Bike/s over 800cc

BAND C Bike/s over 1200cc

11 DAY SOUTH ISLAND GUIDED MOTORCYCLE TOUR WITH AUSTRALIAN MOTORCYCLIST MAGAZINE AOTEAROA DELUXE PRICING Couple, 1 bike, share double Rider, own room 2 riders, 2 bikes, share twin

$6700 $10400 $8300

$7300 $11500 $9175

$7465 $11830 $9505

11 DAY SOUTH ISLAND GUIDED MOTORCYCLE TOUR WITH AUSTRALIAN MOTORCYCLIST MAGAZINE KIA ORA KIWI PRICING Couple, 1 bike, share double Rider, own room 2 riders, 2 bikes, share twin

$4069 $7116 $5058

$4344 $7666 $5610

$4509 $7996 $5940

Early Arrival Option **Highly Recommended** Be rested and ready for the tour of a lifetime with the addition of an early arrival option.

Remember that this guided tour is fully supported by the Paradise staff in their van and the professionalism is top class, to make sure that you’ll have the best time possible!

The cost – Please Note: All tour prices are PER PERSON in New Zealand dollars inclusive of GST and you have the choice of two variations.The Deluxe tour covers petrol and most breakfasts and dinners and a higher level of accommodation. If you choose the Kia Ora tour, you buy your own petrol and all meals (other than the welcome and farewell dinners)

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WHAT SAY YOU?

W

E LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU, the letters are among the most keenly read parts of the magazine. Please try and keep letters down to no more than 300 words. Then you can read many, not just a couple. We do reserve the right to cut them and, unless you identify yourself and at least your town or suburb and state, we will print your email address instead. Please address letters to thebear@ausmotorcyclist.com.au or Australian Motorcyclist Magazine, PO Box 2066, Boronia Park NSW 2111. All opinions published here are those of the writers and we do not vouch for their accuracy or even their sanity!

WHO CAN HAZ BAGZ?

A

ndy’s wonderful Shoulda Bagz goes to Stephen Renfree this month. We aren’t sharing his address, for reasons that will become obvious as you read his letter. It’s very long, but we couldn’t make ourselves cut it. While looking over his shoulder for Boris, Stephen will be enjoying the unequalled convenience and comfort of the Shoulda Bagz, one of Andy Strapz’ many fine products and one we use ourselves.

BORIS, BORIS, BORIS...

A splendid bit of stereotyping in the October edition. There we all are: the doddery, the hipsters, the folk in fluoro, the people who wear All The Gear All The Time, all put into nice little Boris boxes, and sent to the naughty corner. I would argue that motorcycle riding, which has a

long and proud history of symbolising “freedom” is being given more rules and restrictions by peer leaders like Boris than by governments.

I plead guilty to all charges of being a ‘doddery old fool’ making the comeback to riding. I also plead guilty to a crashrelated night in hospital, resulting in the end of a career as a concert pianist or ballet dancer. I break the stereotype by not being scared to lane split - unless I’ve loaded up the panniers with my folding Zimmer frame - and I don’t wear fluoro because I don’t want to be confused for the postman by some psychotic jack russell. But - and this is my point - I don’t have a problem with those who do. I suspect that even if the ‘peer reviewed scientific studies’ loudly supported the wearing of fluoro gear, you’d still have a problem with it.

A bit like All The Gear All The Time. I choose to wear All The Gear All The Time, and thank heavens I do because, according to the paramedics attending the scene of The Great Bonneville Disaster of 2014 I’d be dead if I didn’t.

Road kill, scraped off a freeway and plated up as parmigiana in some aromatic Lygon Street cafe, just because I’ve asked for my organs to be recycled.

By all means Boris, feel free to ride to your fave Bad Boy Biker restaurant for your beloved marinated buffalo entrails (no cutlery) dressed only in a tuxedo

loin cloth. My only twinge of concern is that, by doing so, you may be ‘devolving responsibility’ (your words, not mine) to taxpayers who have to fork out to put you back together again.

But then, what price do we place on individual freedoms?

Frank Zappa once said “Everybody in this room is wearing a uniform, so don’t kid yourself.” That goes for the hipsters, the dodderers, the fluorowearers and, most of all, the Bori.

(Assuming that more than one Boris is a Bori.) Servo station sunnies. Jeans.

Motorsport cardigan. You look like one of those blokes you see on the bus, who always wanted to attend an HSV track day but could only afford a Barina. You’re gazing upwards (was a blimp passing by?) with your hands on your hips, looking for all the world like one of grandma’s sugar bowls. Hell, all we’d have to do is pop you in a cute lacy frock, jam a teaspoon up your arse, and you’d be set up quite nicely for a high tea.

I think you’re being unfair on SMIDSY. You’re obviously an highly intelligent unit, but there are many knuckle draggers out there who can barely speak but somehow, nevertheless, become licensed to propel lumps of metal around at high speeds. As Tony Abbott found out at the last election, these species only look up from their

and guesthouse

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beer and reproductive organs when prodded by ‘inane’ slogans.

I did laugh my leg off at your article though Boris. Very funny, and beautifully written. Maybe the next time you are out on your ride, wave

RARE TREASURE Hi Bear, I was sorting through some stuff last week, and found these in a drawer.

Haven’t seen them in quite a while.

I have moved house a lot in the last 30 years, but they seem to have followed me.

Scott Wyatt Bear Army Trooper #19 Geez, Scott, they’d have to be worth money by now! Is there anyone out there who collects classic stickers and who doesn’t have either of these? Make Scott an offer! – The Bear OFFING WOLFGANG Hi, Spare a thought for an unlikely hero

at the fluoro brigade. Chat to the marketing man on the 1961 Vespa and ask him where he got his handbag.

Come over and show the old bugger on the Harley how to lane split. Riding isn’t the domain of the tough, the trendy or

next time you ride Sydney’s Old Road.

Robert Buie was a Lewis Gunner in World War 1 and saw plenty of action during air raids. During one raid on April 21, 1918 he must have been stunned to find German flying ace, Baron Von Richtoffen, in his sights.

Although at least three others claimed the kill, later forensic examination proved it was Robert who fired the fatal burst.

Robert was feted for the deed, and personally congratulated by various high ranking Generals, but he remained a modest man, even to the day he died.

On Anzac Day in 1964, according to legend, instead of propping up the local bar and basking in the glory, Robert went fishing. He was found dead in his fishing boat the following morning.

His grave is near Brooklyn and makes a thoughtful stop on the Old Road.

Michael Richardson, who found the grave, says when heading south on the Old Road, cross the bridge across the Hawkesbury River, then just after the Brooklyn turnoff, when you focus on the first right hand sweeper marking the start of the climb up to the Pie in the Sky, glance briefly to the left and you will spot a tiny cemetery in the bush dominated by an enormous pine

those searching for their youth.

We do it because we love it. And there can’t be a problem with that, can there?

Stephen Renfree Southbank , Vic

tree. Peel off on the track and you will find the grave of Robert Buie.

Terri Northern Beaches, Sydney NSW SISSY FOR A SEVEN Hi Bear, Last year I purchased a Guzzi V7 Special, a nice bike (not comparable to the ‘98 VFR I was riding previously) however I’m struggling to find a sissy bar with a small lower-back rest pad for the missus to feel a bit of assurance that she won’t slide off the back. Moto Guzzi has a luggage rack system but it’s not quite what I’m looking for...

Does AM have contacts around Sydney that could help me out?

Love the mag, keep them coming!

Josh

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4/11/2015 5:28 pm

WHAT SAY YOU?

Try MOTOCICLO, Josh, 95-97 Princes Highway St Peters NSW 2044; 02 9557 7234. I don’t know of anyone who makes sissy bars for the V7, but if there is someone then John will know.

Send us a photo when you’ve got it fitted - The Bear UNCONVENTIONAL STU Well Stu it was great to see you break the mould, in the October issue there was a photo of you riding a BMW over a wooden bridge staying seated on the bike. In over 40 years of riding motorcycles (In front of and behind BMW’s) and reading motorcycle magazines it is the first time I have seen a BMW rider not stand on the pegs when riding over a wooden bridge. Fantastic, admittedly it is not your regular BMW but still a Beemer is a Beemer.

Now let’s see if we can rid you of those white riding boots and give us readers another rider to look up to. As I have said before, riding in white boots is like being the tough guy of the playground then sitting down for lunch and eating sandwiches cut in quarters.

Yours in riding Ian Gregory And what, Ian, is wrong with eating sandwiches cut in quarters?? - Stuart CATASTROPHE IN PORT Hi lads.

A terrible thing has happened – my wife and I recently took a trip up to Port Macquarie where we stayed at the Breakwall Tourist Park. Whilst there, my wife decided that she needed some reading material whilst the washing was happening and so grabbed a couple of the magazines that were in the park

laundry and returned to our site with them, where she sat reading them (whilst waiting for the washing to finish), right next to where my August copy of Australian Motorcyclist lay (which I hadn’t finished reading). In due course she scooped up the magazines and returned them to the laundry.

However, when packing the next day, I discovered my magazine was ‘missing’.

When I learnt what she did (after some robust questioning), I checked in the park laundry and as you might suspect, every copy of Women’s Day, New Idea and other such crap was there but no Australian Motorcyclist to be seen.

That’s probably an endorsement of the worth of your magazine for sure.

So, I was wondering if you guys would please send me another copy of the August 2015 print and let me know the cost and the best way to reimburse you.

Peter Ivanoff Goulburn, NSW Just order it as a normal back issue, Peter – see the two-page listing in this magazine. An issue does not have to be listed to be available, by the way – The Bear WHICH PUB? Dear Bear, I have only recently discovered your magazine, probably because I have only recently rediscovered motorcycling.

I remember your Charlie & the Bear stories in Two Wheels all those years ago, so when I was looking for some insight while considering returning to the biking fold and saw your little bear on the cover of Motorcyclist I naturally bought it. I wasn’t disappointed and I

found even more than I expected.

The Pub of the Month stories are excellent. Is there any chance that you might reprint them in one volume, as a kind of travel guide? I’d be the first to buy that! And just for your information, I have bought what I always wanted, a Harley – a brand new Road King. I reckon if it was good enough for you…

MM Mulcahy In the mulga WHAT ABOUT US BEARS? Hi Peter I saw this sign at a lookout in the Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado and thought you might like

it. The view wasn’t bad either - you can just see the road in the bottom of the valley.

Fantastic place, and a fabulous road along the “Trail Ridge Road” would be a superlative ride (unfortunately, I wasn’t on a bike this trip).

Kind regards Matthew Morris Yes, Matt, there are signs like this all over the Rockies and the Sierra.

They are worse than racism – they are specism… - The Bear 

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NEW BIKE PRICES

N

ew motorcycle prices go up, they go down. It can be hard to keep track of all the changes. Australian Motorcyclist Magazine supplies you with all the latest up to date prices

APRILIA

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BENELLI

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AMM_December_layout.indd 109

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5/11/2015 3:28 pm

FROM THE CAVE

BEAR FACED THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

T

here I was, camping at Sleeping Bear Dunes. The main thing you need to know about this bit of Lake Michigan shoreline apart from the wonderful name is that it was named The Most Beautiful Place in America by ABC TV’s “Good Morning America”. Modesty compels me to state that the voting did not take place while I was there. Had this been otherwise, who knows; the dunes might have been named The Most Beautiful Place in the World.

Unlikely? What do you mean, unlikely?

I set up my tent and was laying out my meagre but time-and abuse-tested cooking gear when a bloke from the campsite across the path wandered over and handed me a large piece of smoked fish.

“Here you go,” he said, “caught and smoked it myself. Welcome to Michigan.”

We chatted for a little while and he returned to his campsite and family. The fish was delicious, and there was enough of it for dinner and lunch the next day, but what was even more valuable to me was the obvious pleasure my benefactor took in giving something personal to a foreigner.

Iran offers a terrific type of accommodation to travellers, which also explains why so many cars on the open road have rolled-up rugs on the roof.

Woven-type “Persian” rugs, not Donald Trump rugs. Come late afternoon and the travellers stop their cars outside one town or another, in a park that seems to be provided for this purpose. They roll out the rug, add comfortable cushions, quilts and cooking gear and get set to spend the night.

There is no charge, and usually the park will have standpipes for fresh water, toilets and as often as not a van recharging gas bottles. Everybody gets on, people borrow stuff from others or

volunteer help with car trouble and generally the park takes on the appearance of a nomad village. I suppose that’s what it is.

On numerous occasions we were not only welcomed but plied with pieces of fruit, portions of flat bread with indefinable fillings and above all cigarettes. There is no alcohol, since everybody is either a good Muslim or is pretending to be one, and it’s not long before the children who have been running off the accumulated cramps of day-long car travel get tired and drop off to sleep. The adults soon follow and everything is quiet. Standing at the edge of one of these parks you could be forgiven for thinking you are looking at a sleeping army.

Even France, which has a more or less undeserved reputation for being unfriendly to foreigners, produces many flashes of genuine hospitality. We were in Clermont-Ferrand, an industrial city with not very much to recommend it, and looking for a campground when we chanced across a small group of young locals. After we’d explained our quest they sadly informed us that there was not a campground open – but they had an alternative. They took us to what appeared to be a kind of dormitory building, found us an unoccupied two bedroom flat, apologised for the lack of electricity or gas and disappeared into the night.

Sometimes the kindness misfires a bit, but that’s usually due to poor communication. In Pokhara in Nepal I was a little unwell and supposed to take some amazingly large tablets.

I was pretty sure that the “chemist” had given me horse tablets by mistake, but they were working, so I was happy enough. I did need

something to drink with them to help them go down, so I asked the landlady for some water. I managed to get across that I wanted boiled water, because the bugs in untreated water can be quite ferocious.

She came back a few minutes later holding a glass wrapped in a rag. I quickly discovered why it was wrapped; it was boiling hot. She’d put the kettle on for me.

During a bicycle trip around southern Ireland I discovered why the place is so green. It bloody rains just about all the time. One morning, in the pouring rain down in Waterford (and what an appropriate name that is!) I came to a ferry stage. There was a sizeable bell to ring, which I did, and eventually the ferryman, swathed in wet weather gear, emerged from a house across the river and set the ferry in motion. Once across I headed for the pub opposite that stage and parked my bike against its wall. After shaking myself, I pushed open the door only to be greeted by the barman with a glass of whiskey which he waved in my direction.

“I seen you get off the ferry, and ye looked as if ye needed a Jameson’s,” he said, and wouldn’t take payment.

That’s just reminded me of another Irish adventure. I was in New Ross in Wexford – or at least I think I was – and after checking into a b&b I asked the landlady for the whereabouts of the nearest singing pub. Now contrary to what you might think this is not a public house which sings; it is a public house which has live music. I had a wonderful evening listening to the band and downing Guinness, but when it came time to go I discovered that instead of legs I appeared to have a pair of rubbery appendages which would not hold my weight.

A couple of the blokes I’d been drinking with carried me back to the b&b, one of them remarking in funereal tones, “There’s not much standing in a man when he’s had enough Guinness.”

But that doesn’t matter if you can rely on the kindness of strangers. 

www.ausmotorcyclist.com.au

AMM_December_layout.indd 113

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3/11/2015 11:31 am

BORIS

THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE “W

hy have we stopped here?” Bly eventually asked.

I knew he didn’t really care and was only asking out of politeness, so I responded in kind.

“Because I like stopping in the middle of nowhere and basking in splendid isolation.”

Bly nodded. He was in total agreement.

And we were in the middle of nowhere, even though it is called the Armidale Road on Google maps.

Motorcyclists know it as the Nymboida Road. It splits Cloud Creek State Forest and Chaelundi State Forest. At one end is a bunch of shacks full of banjo music called Dundurrabin, and at the other end is a bunch of cousins who are all married to each other, and then you get to Coutts Crossing and Grafton. It is my preferred way to get to the strippers and whores of the Gold Coast, and I do like to arrive in their midst reeking of fiendishness and high velocity. Which is not something I can soil myself with by droning up the major highways and staring at my speedo.

And I cannot bask in splendid isolation on the main roads, either. And I need to do that. We all need to do that.

Taking a break from the road in a servo or a coffee shop or a pub is all well and good. Except that it’s shit.

Pulling over in the shade of a tree, turning off the key, stepping off the bike and staring into an ancient forest, a vast brown plain, or a series of distant misty hills, with the only sound being cicadas, birds, wind and the ever-present ticktack of a cooling motorcycle engine… well, that’s a special kind of special, isn’t it?

Australia is a big country and sparsely populated. You don’t need to go very far to get the experience of being isolated in natural splendour. Usually, two tanks of petrol will do it.

Yeah, I know I can go stand by the side of the Putty Road, the Black Spur, the Adelaide Hills, or the Burragorang race

114

track behind Murwillumbah, and look at views and listen to trees. But they’re just too close to major centres and too busy to offer up what I’m looking for.

Which is isolation.

Petrol stations are for petrol, coffee shops are for coffee, and pubs are for barmaids. These places exist as a means to an end. You attend them to ‘do’ something.

When I go for long rides I wish to do nothing but ride.

I just want to ‘be’, as it were.

You cannot ‘be’ when you’re being asked “Savings or credit?”

You cannot ‘be’ when you’re choosing between the soy chai frapolatte and the chia juice smoothie.

And I cannot do anything in a pub but drink beer, eat fat steaks and look for a juke box with all of Johnny Cash’s songs on it so I can dance with the barmaid.

Standing on the edge of a road in companionable silence with glorious bastards (or by myself) is the stuff of life.

I may have just danced the dance of my people with my people. That dance that sees you a metre from each others’ back wheels as you dice through corner after corner with immaculate sanity and clarity. A snaking, flesh-metal train of noise, skill, and dry-mouthed concentration. Sure, it’s never gonna be Rossi, Lorenzo, Marquez and Pedrosa aiming for a podium, but it’ll do me and my people.

And if we’ve danced that dance, our eyes are bright. We are smiling. We are shaking our heads. Some of us are lighting post-coital cigarettes.

Others might be wishing they smoked because a cigarette seems quite appropriate after such a passionate fandango.

For the first minute or so no-one speaks. There’s just the crunch of gravel underfoot, maybe the sound of a zip or a visor being clipped up. Sometimes a helmet falls off a bike because the rider

has been careless placing it on the seat.

The sound of it hitting the ground is always funny. So there is laughter.

When the talk comes, and it invariably does, because a bunch of blokes standing silently on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere for 15 minutes is kinda creepy, it’s the talk of glorious bastards.

It’s insults and praise and more insults. It’s excuses, lies, wild boasts and self-evident observations.

“How good is that road?” Bly asked me after an appropriate period of silence.

“We were on it a bit,” I grinned.

“Not the place for shit to go wrong,” he grinned back.

“Nothing went wrong,” I sighed.

“Everything went right.”

“I almost died,” Bly observed.

“Me too. I almost died when you almost died on that corner.”

Bly nodded. “I could have gone faster.”

“I could have passed you like a bitch. I just wanted to be there when you crashed so I could point and laugh,” I lied.

“No phone reception out here.”

“I don’t even have a first aid kit.”

“But you do have whiskey?” Bly asked.

“I always have whiskey,” I replied. “Want some?”

And our isolation got even more splendid. 

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ACROSS THE TOP OF TAS - ST HELENS TO LAUNCESTON

ACROSS THE TOP OF TAS - ST HELENS TO LAUNCESTON I recently had it pointed out to me in a forceful fashion by one of our Tasmanian (I’ve given up on “Taswegian”, everyone thinks I’m being precious) readers that we seem to be undervaluing our own South Island and promoting another South Island far too much. I’m not sure that I agree that New Zealand’s South island can be over-promoted, but I do understand her disappointment. We have definitely been guilty of ignoring much of Tasmania, and we’ll try to set that right in the coming months. So to start with, here is a short ride through some of the most beautiful country on this green Earth, also taking in one of Tasmania’s best bike roads: the A3 or Tasman Highway.

YELLOW ROUTE Leading north-west out of St Helens, the Tasman Highway passes through lush paddocks (yes, really – ask the cows) and dense patches of forest on its way over the various tiers and ridges to Tasmania’s second-largest city, Launceston (that’s “loncesten” to you). There are no mountains as such along the road, but plenty of those tiers and so on make for an excellent, twisty road. The road surface is generally good, but you will find some wavy bits where log trucks, I presume, have pushed the top layer around.

The run to Pyengana is pretty but not especially challenging. After that it gets a bit more interesting with some tighter corners. I seem to recall removing substantial amounts of steel from the Harley I was riding the first time I traversed this road; other bikes have found it easier. Stop at the lookout at Weldborough Pass and, well, look out; there is a lot of wild-looking forest out there. Actually, much of it is regrowth; there was a lot of tin mining around here as well as logging which continues to this day.

After the obligatory stop at the Weldborough pub there is another twisty ride to Branxholm, which is a tiny spot without any services. You will see many tracks and even roads off to both sides of the A3 along here. Be careful if you decide to go exploring; the bush is riddled with unmarked mine shafts and if the locals can be believed, you wouldn’t be the first rider to disappear into their maws. Take that with a pinch of salt, but be wary nonetheless.

The road flattens out after Branxholm, and passes fields of hops as it approaches Scottsdale. There is fuel here, and although it’s only another 65km to Launceston it won’t hurt you to drop a few dollars into the local tills and fill up as well as getting yourself around a coffee. Try the Café on King, street that is.

A bit more flat road and then another

ridge to cross follows, more flat country along the St Patricks River and then some more hills before you descend into Launceston.

And here’s a final suggestion for your visit: take a look at Princes Square.

There you’ll see a fountain featuring a… pineapple. This was originally a half-naked nymph, but the good burgers objected and had it replaced.

All together now: hmm. Pineapple, eh?

GREEN ROUTE Just a short detour out to the coast from St Helens. Turn right into Quail Street; this becomes Binalong Bay Road and takes you north along the bay shore some 10 kilometres or so to Binalong Bay. You can come back via the Mount Pearson State Reserve track, which is a good alternative ride if you don’t mind some gravel.

It meets Ansons Bay Road where you turn left. This in turn takes you back to the Tasman Highway west of town.

ORANGE ROUTE This is even shorter, whether you go out to St Columbas Falls or not. But it’s worth it for a look at both the pub and the falls. After Goshen, which is an intersection not a town – what Australian atlases delight in calling a “location”- you pass the Willows roadhouse and then you’ll see the signpost to Pyengana to the left.

Can’t miss it.

TEAR-OUT MAP #34 COLLECT THEM ALL AMM_December_map.indd 2

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ULLADULLA TO BATEMANS BAY, NSW

H

ead north on the Princes Hwy out of Ulladulla up to Milton and turn left onto Croobyar Road. Follow this along, across the white fenced bridge, around to the left, then back around to the right and a few hundred metres further you need to change onto the track that is off to your right – Carriages Road. This turns into Northern Buffer Track which you need to follow to the end, where you veer right onto Kingiman Road. After a couple of hundred metres you turn left onto Jindelara Creek Road and follow this track (which turns into Boyne Creek Fire Trail) all the way to the end. Turn right onto Mimosa Park Road, go to the end and turn right onto Clyde Ridge Road.

After two kilometres, turn right again to head north along Yadboro Road, and enjoy the river crossing. A couple of hundred metres past this point and around seven kilometres past the river you need to turn left onto Blue Gum Flat Road. A kilometre or so in, you have another river crossing where the road changes to Broad Gully Road.

Follow this to the end and turn left onto Western Distributor Road. Follow this all the way, veering left when you come to the first Y ‘intersection’, then right to continue on Western Distributor Road. Follow to the end and turn left onto Mares Hill Road.

Follow Mares Hill Road all the way, back across another river crossing and to the end, turning right onto Clyde Ridge Road.

Follow Clyde Ridge Road for many kilometres, which turns into Drurys Road, then The River Road, across another creek crossing and follow The River Road which runs with the Clyde River on your left all the way down to

Kings Hwy, just west of Nelligen.

This is where you can turn right and do the optional route, or turn left and cruise on into Batemans Bay through some nice twisty bitumen.

OPTION 1 (GREEN) Once you turn onto Jindelara Creek Road, around five kilometres along is Pigeon House Fire Track, you can follow this in for a closer view of Pigeon House Mountain. All up around 3.5km each way.

OPTION 2 (ORANGE) When you pop out onto the Kings Hwy, turn right and ride around three kilometres and turn left onto Old Bolaro Road (sign posted). This little loop requires you to keep veering left, where the road names change to Paradise Road, Sugarloaf Road, Bolaro Mountain Road and Runnyford Road which brings you right into the middle of Nelligen.

You can stop and have a coffee down by the water, or jump back onto Kings Hwy (turning right) and enjoy the twisty bitumen into Batemans Bay. ROAD CONDITIONS This particular area does get some decent amounts of rain, so be prepared for some muddy trails, however most of the trails are well maintained and dry out quite quickly.

Contact National Parks www.nationalparks.nsw.gov.au for any trails that might be closed or the other main contact is the RMS - http://m. livetraffic.rta.nsw.gov.au/ but they mainly focus on the main roads.

WATER CROSSINGS Be wary of the few water crossings on this route. If there’s been recent heavy rain, they will swell to be deep, flowing water. 

ADV TEAR-OUT MAP #19 COLLECT THEM ALL AMM_December_Dirt_map.indd 2

5/11/2015 12:12 pm