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E D I T O R S P E A K S
COVID TAX
IT SEEMS OUR RETRO issue (#104) was a hit. I received many emails from both readers and industry people saying how much they loved to see what we put together. Old bikes are hot property and since the beginning of this covid thing, the word, “Covid Tax” has been introduced. Prices for anything on two wheels (or four) and having a little bit of age on it have skyrocketed. Even bikes that you and I wouldn’t consider as being particularly collectable have risen to dizzying heights.
The age-old talk of, “When will the market crash” has been muttered over and over again. I have discussed this with friends many times and I don’t know if it really will happen? I think the market will reach greater heights and those buying the bikes will keep them till they drop off the perch. Some siblings will keep those bikes as a sentimental piece and some will sell them on, but supplies for that market will be smaller and smaller just like bikes of, say, pre-1950. These bikes are coming up less and less for sale and the current generation of school aged kids won’t be interested in sixties or seventies bikes. Some will be interested in eighties bikes, but the nineties and early two-thousands is where I see kids searching for the next classic bike to be enjoyed later in life.
I have always looked at the classic bike scene as one that started when we were kids – what was THAT bike at which you said, “Phwoar!” and you might have even had a poster on your bedroom wall? It can also be influenced by what your father rode, or what he liked, or that neighbour who would wheelie up the road on the latest fangled dangle at the time. My father rode a Katana, so I had to have one.
The memories I have of being on the back of the Katana are still things I think about. The most memorable was wheel spinning and kicking sideways off from a set of traffic lights. We were probably on some oil, but for me, as a young kid, it was the coolest thing ever. The posters on my bedroom wall included bikes like the 1985 GSX-R750, ’84 GPz900R and I remember seeing the CBR900RR when it was first released and thinking there was nothing else on this earth that could touch it. I’ve owned many classic bikes but two of the above mentioned I have never owned – or even ridden! That’s the GSX-R and the GPz. Can I afford to buy them? Sadly, no. For a first year GSX-R750 you’re looking fifteen big ones plus and similar for the GPz900R. Twelve months ago or a little more they were half that price. On the scale of things, fifteen is not overly expensive, but when you haven’t got that level of money, it’s a dream.
Memories of seeing that bike fly past as a kid, or owning a bike when they were new, thinking it was the wildest on the planet… wild. What are they like to ride nowadays? Slow is probably the first word that comes to mind. Take my H1 500 for example. I sit and wonder how the hell this thing was classed as ‘The Widow Maker’? It really isn’t fast. Sure, it waggles a bit when pushed hard through corners and the brakes are pretty wooden, but nothing I think while riding this bike is anything that would kill me. Was the skill level back then so poor? But, the whole thing (for me) is that I’m ticking a bucket list item and it’s about the experience and not how fast it accelerates. I’m sure you’re the same.
Enjoy!
Cheers, Stuart
WELCOME
BACK, COMPASS
As Uncle Joe Stalin once said, one death is a tragedy while a million deaths is a statistic. And when the Plague hit and effectively destroyed the organised motorcycle touring industry, one might have been forgiven for missing or perhaps even ignoring the loss of a particular company.
I tried not to do that and paid my respects to the Australian operators who suffered especially. One of those was Compass Expeditions, a company with whom I had some experience and whom I said at the time we were all going to miss. In February came the announcement that Compass had been revived and was going to get back into the business. And now I have had a note to say they are not only coming back, they’re coming back in style in 2022.
“This company has been providing thousands of people with the experiences of a lifetime for almost 15 years” says the note. “If we continue to receive even half the support we’ve had from
our community in that time, we are more than confident that we’ll see many decades more of joyful adventure and comradery.
“When the world opens up, we’re going to be there – and we hope you’ll be there with us. We’re dreaming, planning and booking for it right now.”
There is zero financial risk in committing now, I’m told, and securing your spot with a low 5 per cent deposit. And as always with Compass, if your tour is unable to run due to ongoing travel restrictions, your deposit will be refunded in full.
The seriously impressive new Compass list of tours, starting with a New Zealand tour in March of 2022, is available on the website at compassexpeditions.com or call +61 3 9747 2379 for information and bookings.
Once again, welcome back Compass and who knows, I may even be able to do the Patagonia tour I had arranged when the Plague began.
SPRING TIME HIGHLIGHTS
Heavy competitive bidding in its final minutes took Shannons Timed Online Spring Auction to an impressive $8.5 million result, with 94 per cent of all lots sold.
22 motorcycles hit the auction block and saw some strong and some surprising results, including $45,000 paid for a 1953 BMW R68 motorcycle, $37,750 given for a rare ‘sand cast’ 1969 Honda CB750 KO; $27,500 for a 1979 Kawasaki H2C 750cc three-cylinder superbike and $30,500 for a British 1937 AJS V-Twin 37/2 990cc motorcycle just to mention a few. Shannons next auction is their 40th Anniversary auction. Be sure to check out shannons.com.au for all the great bikes (and cars) in this one.
GET DIRTY
Yamaha’s WR250F has built an enviable reputation for performance, handling and reliability among racers and fast trail riders alike. Featuring a wide range of updates, the latest model provides an even faster way through the bush for 2022.
First launched in 2001 in collaboration with Australians, the WR250F continues to be developed to suit local terrain and riders. Now stepping up the off-road experience to the next level, the new quarter litre weapon features the benchmark YZ250F as a base with a combination of cutting edge off-road features. Sporting a new aluminium bilateral beam frame, more power with a smoother delivery, slicker gear shifts and stronger braking, the MY22 is improved in all major areas.
Available from December 2021 in Team Yamaha Blue, pricing is $14,899 ride away. See your local Yamaha dealer.
My bike in front of an amazing rock formation in Peru, on a Compass tour.
Discover more at triumphmotorcycles.com.au /triumphaus @triumphaus
BOND… JAMES BOND
Celebrating the partnership between two British icons, Triumph has announced a new limited edition inspired by the incredible Tiger 900 Rally Pro, which features in amazing stunt sequences in the forthcoming 25th James Bond lm, No Time To Die.
Strictly limited to just 250 motorcycles worldwide, the new Tiger 900 Bond Edition celebrates the iconic British partnership between James Bond and Triumph.
Each of these motorcycles is individually numbered and comes with a signed certi cate of authenticity. ey feature a unique and eye-catching
Matt Sapphire Black paint scheme and 007TM graphics, enhancing the bike’s stand-out look and premium style and making this a truly unique and desirable motorcycle. Each motorcycle also comes with a premium, billet-machined handlebar clamp, with the bike’s unique limited-edition number.
Finally, with the unique styling details, the Tiger 900 Bond Edition includes premium ‘blacked-out’ detailing throughout. e frame, headlight nishers, side panels, sump guard, pillion footrest hangers, auxiliary light shrouds and engine guards all have a premium black nish pl;us premium detailing and equipment.
FOR THE LI’L ONES
Enhancing the Bond Edition theme, the Tiger features a bespoke 007TM start up screen animation and heated rider and pillion seats, cra ed with unique Bond Edition branding.
Australia’s motoDNA has announced the launch of motoCHAMPION, a world-first data driven motorcycling competition open to riders aged 11 and under 16 aimed at finding and supporting the next generation of Australian MotoGP superstars. The COVID-friendly competition harnesses the new motoDNA Digital Academy technology, leveraging over a decade of rider data to analyse behaviours such as braking, steering and more, to measure, grade and coach competitors, helping improve core
skills and elevating their riding ability.
It’s super easy to take part – using a GoPro on their motorbike, riders can compete on any bike, on tarmac, on any tyres, on the motoDNA Figure 8 layout from anywhere in Australia. Upload a video of your best lap and motoDNA algorithms analyse your riding, grade your skills compared to the other riders and place you on the motoCHAMPION leader boards.
Visit motodna.com/motochampion to learn more, or sign up now.
Along with all of the Tiger 900 Rally Pro’s category-dominating speci cation, the new limited edition also comes with an additional pair of high-performance Michelin Anakee Wild handbookapproved o -road tyres (in addition to the factory tted Bridgestone Battlax tyres), and a premium Arrow silencer with a lightweight brushed stainless-steel body and a carbon end cap and strap. Want one? Hurry to place your order at your local Triumph dealer, now!
“ Lasting Memories”
The 2021 Street Glide™ Special has the power to cut through big city bustle, cruise country roads, and make unforgettable memories. Experience it for yourself. H-D.com/RideNow
COVID-19: Due to restrictions, there may be delays in our response times or taking a test-ride. We appreciate your patience as we do our best to safely get you on a bike. Always follow your local authority health advice and COVID safety measures.
BASED ON THE HIGHLY successful Yamaha MT-09, the previous MT-09 Tracer was lacking some of the detail most people want from a tourer. Price no doubt was a consideration for Yamaha. The base price of the MT-09 was so low that the Tracer could hardly hit the market at double the price, so the options for additional equipment were limited. Roll on to the new MT-09, which we featured in issue #101. I was hanging to find out what the all-new Tracer 9 GT would be like as a tourer, and here it is! Other than sounding like a triple-cylinder MT-09 and going like a scalded cat, it is also vastly improved. The limitations of the old MT-09 Tracer, mainly comfort and vibration (too little and too much) are no longer a concern. I am seriously beginning to feel that the big, cumbersome touring motorcycle is dead in the water and the Tracer 9 GT (and this style of bike) is the new age touring motorcycle.
No need for a stereo – you’ve got a smartphone for that. No need for a CB radio – who uses them anymore anyway? There’s no need to have a bike that weighs the same as a small car; why not have a motorcycle that’s relatively light and easy to manoeuvre and will give you far more enjoyment than a bus!
First up, let’s look at the handling. Just like with the new MT-09, gone is that front end flightiness with big geometry changes, but unlike previous Tracer models, the frame is not borrowed from the MT-09. The frame on the Tracer 9 GT is different in the front and tips the engine more forward while the swingarm is longer for more stability. The subframe is also steel so luggage
WORDS STUART ︱ PHOTOS NICK WOOD CREATIVE
and rewelding it, but it’s something you shouldn’t have to do. Would this stop me from buying the bike though? No.
the centrestand. It sits too high and touches your heel and unless you’re right on the ball of your foot and riding more like a racer, it is always there hitting your heel. An easy fix would be cutting 20mm or so off it
The triple-cylinder engine has been pinched from the new MT-09, which we covered in detail in issue #101. The engine is lighter, more fuel-efficient, and complies with Euro 5 emissions standard versus the outgoing Tracer. I achieved 5.13L/100km and with the 19-litre capacity that gives a healthy touring range. An increase in displacement (889cc, up from 847cc) means more power and torque, though Yamaha does not officially quote figures (but see our specs panel).
D-Mode offers four presets for
varying throttle response and power. Mode 1 is full power and sharpest delivery, through to Mode 4 which makes it feel like it’s only using two out of three cylinders, and three rider aid modes (TCS 1, TCS 2 and Manual), all accessed via the left-hand switchgear. TCS 1 is the lowest intervention on all aids, TCS 2 ramps it up a bit, and Manual allows you to tailor the whole lot to your tastes, with a choice of three intervention levels for each. The 6-speed transmission has an assistand-slipper clutch and a new up/down quickshifter, which works as sweet as a peach – even at low speeds.
An extensive suite of electronics is standard and common place on most bikes costing $20k plus nowadays.
The Tracer 9 GT features an IMU that feeds data to the rider aids which can be adjusted to your preference or
It was teased. We were prodded. And finally it was revealed. Hold onto your credit cards; the Triumph Speed Triple 1200 RR is coming and boy is it one sexy looking machine!
WORDS STUART PHOTOS TRIUMPH
AT THE TIME OF writing, we’re still in lockdown so a virtual look at this new beast is all we got. Obviously based on the Speed Triple RS, the Speed Triple 1200 RR has been designed to reflect distinctive British elegance with exhilarating real-world performance. Creating a new dimension for riders who love the iconic nature of the Speed Triple with its unique character and road-focused sports performance, the new RR represents a step up in both beauty and capability, to deliver something more unique, more characterful, and truly authentic. In essence, a modern take on a café racer, and the ultimate sports bike for the road.
The new Speed Triple 1200 RR delivers elegant style with pure and flowing lines and a more sportsfocused, nose-down riding position and silhouette; the RR brings a committed and arresting new look. Triumph has said this is not a track
focused ‘sports bike’, but rather a road-focused machine with sports capability.
The new cockpit fairing, sculpted to incorporate the signature-RR single round headlight set-up, gives the bike an instantly recognisable look and even more desirable style. Did they look at the MV Agusta Superveloce and decide this is the look to go for? We may never know. Attention to detail is key to this beautiful machine, and the whole cockpit area has been kept clean and uncluttered through the clever use of hidden cabling and hoses.
Premium new carbon-fibre infill panels add an extra level of detailing to the tank, fairing and cockpit, and when combined with the new carbonfibre side panels and beautifully made carbon-fibre front mudguard, the RR certainly looks exquisitely crafted.
The RR will be available in two stunning paint schemes – the Red Hopper/Storm Grey scheme which is a really rich and lustrous colour
combination, or the equally striking Crystal White/Storm Grey option with premium gold detailing. Both schemes come, as standard, with a colour coded belly pan and colour coded seat cowl, which is supplied alongside the pillion seat and is easily interchangeable.
Equipped with a lightweight and compact chassis with a cast aluminium frame, the new Speed Triple RR was designed to deliver all the incredible agility and pinpoint precise handling of a 765 Street Triple RS, with all the performance and attitude of the latest generation.
Rider-ergonomics are obviously changed from the Speed Triple RS, Triumph claims without compromising comfort. Updates include new clip-on handlebars, which are 135mm lower and 50mm further forward, plus a tailored new foot peg position – this means they’ll be set higher than the Speed Triple. When combined with the accessible
THE SPORTS EDGE TO THE RR IS UNDERLINED BY THE PREMIUM
OF EQUIPMENT THAT COMES AS STANDARD.
SPECIFICATION
830mm seat height, narrow tank and sculpted seat profile, the new RR is claimed to deliver maximum comfort and control.
The sports edge to the RR is underlined by the premium specification of equipment that comes as standard. Instrumental to this is the new Öhlins Smart EC 2.0 electronically adjustable, semi-active front and rear suspension, which is the most advanced suspension system available from Öhlins. This new system has been specifically tuned to suit the RR’s geometry, to deliver the optimum balance of performance, comfort and control. It’s fully adjustable, even while riding, via the TFT instruments, and uses a highly-advanced suspension control unit to continually monitor input including riding style, speed and acceleration to automatically adjust both compression and rebound damping in response.
The Speed Triple 1200 RR also
benefits from lightweight track-spec twin Brembo Stylema monobloc front calipers and lightweight 320mm floating front discs, providing precise braking performance. They are controlled with a Brembo front brake lever with multi-click adjustment for span and ratio, to allow the rider to tailor the ergonomics for maximum comfort and control. On the rear, the stopping power is provided by a Brembo twin-piston caliper and 220mm single disc.
The 17-inch cast aluminium wheels are extremely lightweight and are fitted with the new high-performance Pirelli Diablo Supercorsa SP V3 tyres, unique to the RR, delivering outstanding response, stability and grip on both racetrack and road. For even more focused track use, there is also an approved track-only specification: the Pirelli Diablo Supercorsa SC2 V3 Impressive performance and distinctive character come naturally to the Speed Triple RR’s 1160cc triple engine – the same lightweight, efficient and high performance engine that already powers the RS model.
With every component optimised for power, torque and response, the powertrain delivers an impressive 132.4kW of power at 10,750rpm, and 125Nm of torque at 9000rpm. And, characteristic of all Triumph triple engines, the torque curve is smooth and strong from low down, right through the mid-range and all the way up to peak revs for notable punch and acceleration. The low-inertia engine is claimed to deliver outstanding responsiveness and a beautifully refined and precise feel.
The stacked six-speed gearbox is compact and light weight, with optimised ratio progression to precisely match the power curve, guaranteeing super-slick gear changes. The lightweight slip and assist clutch uses ramps in the clutch to force it together when under load, adding to the force of the clutch springs and allowing more power to be transmitted from the engine to the gearbox. The opposite is also true when downshifting aggressively, where a controlled amount of clutch slip is allowed to maximise rear wheel control.
The side-mounted, brushed stainless-steel single silencer with black end cap delivers the Speed Triple’s signature hair-raising and visceral sound for a sporty and engaged riding experience.
As with the Speed Triple 1200 RS, the RR comes with a full suite of state-of-the-art rider aids, electronics and convenience features designed to not only make the ride easier and safer, but also deliver a tailored set-up for different riding scenarios.
Key to its premium specification is the full-colour 5.0-inch TFT instrument display, with the My Triumph connectivity system fitted as standard. Android and IOS compatible, this enables phone call and music operation, turn-by-turn navigation (developed in partnership with Google) and GoPro control. All are accessed and managed via the backlit switch blocks and conveniently displayed on the optically bonded TFT screen, which guarantees minimal reflections for excellent image clarity. The intuitive user interface enables
on-the-go adjustment of many settings and incorporates a lap timer for use on track.
The RR is also equipped as standard with Triumph’s mostadvanced optimised cornering ABS and switchable optimised cornering traction control systems. These use an inertial measurement unit to measure roll, pitch, yaw and acceleration rates, in order to calculate the lean angle and precisely control the ABS and traction control response to match, optimising slip rates and torque control to suit the specific riding mode chosen.
Linked to the traction control system is the advanced front wheel lift detection system, which uses advanced algorithms for precise control. All of this can be turned off as well.
The new RR features five riding modes – Road, Rain, Sport, Riderconfigurable, and also a Track mode, which has minimal ABS and traction control intervention. The riding modes have multiple levels of intervention to choose from and are selected and adjusted via the TFT instruments.
Another key feature for use on the road and on track is the Triumph Shift Assist up and down quickshifter, which has been developed using the insight Triumph has gained through its involvement in the World Moto2 championship. It features an advanced sensor that gives the engine control unit a wealth of information, allowing both up and down gear shifts to be
fully mapped against a number of parameters, exactly as the Moto2 race teams do.
THE SIDE-MOUNTED, BRUSHED STAINLESS-STEEL SINGLE SILENCER WITH BLACK END CAP DELIVERS THE SPEED TRIPLE’S SIGNATURE HAIR-RAISING AND VISCERAL SOUND FOR A SPORTY AND ENGAGED RIDING EXPERIENCE.
When up-shifting, the Triumph Shift Assist adjusts factors such as ignition, fuel, and throttle angle, to momentarily relieve the pressure on the gears and allow them to slide. This is a much more sophisticated system than a traditional quickshifter, which simply cuts the ignition. When downshifting, again the system monitors and adjusts various parameters and precisely controls the throttle blips, guaranteeing a smooth shift.
Lighting is LED throughout for maximum durability and efficiency. There’s a daytime running light incorporated into the new single round headlight and a distinctive rear light integrated into the tail unit with unique light signature, plus LED selfcancelling indicators.
The new Speed Triple 1200 RR is also equipped with additional rideenhancing technology including a full keyless system (incorporating keyless ignition, steering lock and fuel filler cap) and fully adjustable cruise control.
As with all Triumph motorcycles, personalisation is at the heart of the new RR, with a range of more than 30 genuine accessories, all of which have been developed alongside the motorcycle itself for perfect
integration. These have all been tested to the same exacting quality and durability standards and all come with Triumph’s two-year unlimited mileage warranty.
Accessories include machined front and rear brake reservoirs, scrolling indicators, heated grips and even luggage, with a water-resistant tail pack and tank bag, both with quick release mounting – all of which are available to view on the online configurator.
So, there you have it; that’s what Triumph told us at the virtual launch. You like? Better place an order right away. Pricing hasn’t been set just yet, but a guesstimate would put it around $30,000. Expect first shipments in December this year, and we’ll have a full test as soon as they become available. Oh yes.
The Bear says: “I would sincerely like to thank Triumph for making motorcycles good-looking again.” D
TRAVEL PERKS
Adventure riding now has a new and exciting dimension thanks to CFMOTO, with a KTM-sourced engine wrapped in a razor-sharp package brimming with technical flair and impressive styling.
*Shown with optional pannier set and rear case
800MT STANDARD FEATURES
7-inch TFT screen Ride by-wire throttle
Multiple riding modes Cruise control
Adjustable screen Fog lights Crash bars
USB charging LED lights and turn signals.
EXTRA 800MT TOURING FEATURES
Tyre pressure monitoring Wire-spoked wheels
Heated seats and heated grips; Centrestand
Quickshifter Handguards Alloy bashplate
Steering damper
little more power from the front, but it’s not an overall concern.
Gone is the cheap looking dash of previous models. The SP Edition has a nice looking large 5-inch full colour TFT display with two interfaces –Sport and Eco modes. The screen also self-adjusts to ambient light during different riding conditions –very smart! The instrument display shows all the necessary functions including rpm, gear selection, speed and even has Bluetooth mobile phone connectivity.
Ergonomics are set out nicely, but the seat was a little hard for me. Something a bit better designed and you’d be touring all day long as the ‘rider triangle’ is great. A 795mm seat height makes it accessible for all riders.
Accessories are limited to a Unifilter foam air filter, rear carry rack, bike cover, tail tidy and crash protection.
The 650NK SP is available in two colour options, Athens Blue or White/ Black and priced at only $7790 ride away with a three-year warranty. You’d be hard pressed to find anything better for this money. D
JUST LET IT TICKLET IT SQUIRM AS YOU WORK OUT THE ANSWERS B R A I N T I
SO, WE HAD OUR first crossword back in issue #103. We had a few of you almost complete it, and we thank Phil Church for producing another brain teaser for you to dive into. As we haven’t yet been able to give away our copy of, Colin Whelan’s new book Drinking in the Rivers, all you need to do is complete this second crossword and the first correct one sent in gets Colin’s awesome new tome.
Get to it!
AMM
ACROSS
DOWN
1 First name of Italian rider with 10 TT wins and 122 GP wins. (7)
4 Surname of Lancastrian born rider who also was a business man in the Isle of Man and was awarded an OBE. (4)
8 He rides number 21 for Petronas Yamaha SRT – Given name. (6)
10 A rod or spindle that passes through the centre of a wheel. (4)
12 Valentino has a new one called “Titilla III”. (5)
14 Author of “Jupiter’s Travels” ? Simon. (3)
17 S, SR, SR/F, SR/S, FXS, DSR, DS, DSR/BF and FX are all these. (5)
19 Disc brakes won’t work without one of these. (5)
21 This Action figure, “Joe” has a RAM Motorcycle. (1,1)
23 This rider was unfortunately killed at Suzuka, Japan in 2003. (4)
25 This New Zealander with the first name Graeme, is the only person to have won the Daytona 200, Imola 200, Suzuka 8 Hour and Isle of Man T.T. (6)
27 Name of Moto Museum and Sculpture Gallery in Dallas, Texas, USA. (4)
28 This company’s logo, the “thumbs-up” symbol, came after British rider, David Whitworth, gave the signal to the pit crew to signify that all was well. (7)
2 This company manufactured scooters in Orleans, France 1948 –1949. (4)
3 Born 17th February 1993 or 23rd April 1996. (7)
5 This British rider was arrested on suspicion of the murder of his new wife, Abigail Elson, in 2013. (6)
6 First name of rider from Keith, South Australia, killed in the 2006 Dakar Rally. (4)
7 This speedway rider was born in Scunthorpe, England, but grew up in Ocean Reef, a suburb of Perth, Western Australia and is a 3 time World Champion. Given name. (3)
9 Makers of motorcycle cradle clamps or killer whales. (5)
11 A custom motorcycle buider in Slovenia or the Queen. (2)
13 This Ivacic took the crown of Matej Zagar’s incredible 18 year stint, as Slovenian Speedway Champion in 2020, despite finishing second to Italian, Paco Castagna. (5)
15 This Woolf (Norton) was killed in the 1958 Isle of Man T.T. Senior Race. (3)
16 Is this bike Superior. (6)
18 Some early Harley Davidsons had this type of leaf as a tank badge. (3)
20 French manufacturer of helmets. (4)
21 Gran Turismo. (1,1)
22 Initials of the location of the Classic T.T. (1,1,1)
24 Electric Motorcycle Manufacturer based in Oud – Vossemeer, Netherlands. (4)
26 Trials Champion with 28 World Titles (14 Outdoor and 14 Indoor). (3)
“…WHILE YOU’RE IN LYNDHURST, DROP IN TO SEE TALC ALF.”
IT LOOKS A LOT like one of the more helpful robots in a Star Wars film or an updated wall-e, with its splayed tubes and high lights. But it’s just a diesel pump in Lyndhurst, South Australia, where the Oodnadatta and Strzelecki Tracks split. Lyndhurst is a basic kind of place, with two diesel pumps – no petrol – and a pleasant, friendly though fairly basic pub. Food is fine, and the beer is cold. The accommodation on offer is an extensive range of dongas lined up like a military exercise. They are well set up and priced.
Despite the fact that there is actually very little of it, I like Lyndhurst a great deal. The town is enjoying an unwonted splash of prosperity as the Strzelecki Track
is sealed and the workers need somewhere to have a beer, and it’s hard not to feel happy about that. Perhaps not the sealing of the Track, but certainly the effect on the little town. The Outback is a harsh environment for settlements of any size – one day I’ll tell you about Rabbit Flat – so it’s good to see any place prospering, even if it’s only for a limited time. But it will take a while to get a surfaced Strzelecki Track out there, so hit it while you can.
The track is being sealed for the very best of reasons. The Moomba gas field needs machinery, and we’re not talking handheld stuff. So the road has to be able to handle monstrous pieces of equipment, which can only be moved on a
reliable surface. That means tarred roads for us, too. Do we welcome this? Write to who-gives-a-shit. com.au . Our concerns mean less than nothing to a monolith like Santos. But the South Australian government does its best to help them out. And let’s face it, what do we know? Maybe it is all for the best.
I think Lyndhurst would make a good staging point for trips up the Strzelecki, Birdsville or Oodnadatta tracks from the south. Make sure you top up your fuel at Leigh Creek, though. Not that Maree is far away; it’s only 77km. If you’re going to either Birdsville or Coober Pedy/ Marla you can fuel up there. And while you’re in Lyndhurst, drop in to see Talc Alf. Say hello from me. D
The Lyndhurst pub looks kind of lonely, but it fills up at night with road workers.
The pub’s dongas have a roof for your bike and are fitted out comfortably.
The bike is physically quite small and low, the seat isn’t all that far away from the handlebar, despite many people asking me if it was a reach. The engine is liquid cooled with an electronic fuel injection system styled to look like AMAL carbs. We’ve mentioned this in the past, but they’re so cool they deserve to be pointed out again.
A modern electronics package means it has not been too much trouble to add rider modes (Road and Rain), and you also get a simple suite of electronics like ride-by-wire throttle, switchable traction control and ABS. What you won’t see are things like an up/down quickshifter and six-axis inertial measurement unit; it definitely does not have the level of electronics we see on many other bikes nowadays. And it doesn’t need them – a Bobber is meant to be stripped down to
the bare bones.
The Bobber is a good example that much can be done despite the various regulations that need to be adhered too on a production machine. Take a look at the Bobber’s frame. It has been built to emulate ‘bob-jobs’ which came out of American hot rod culture. Appearing to be a hardtail, bobbers generally feature a shortened rear fender mounted to the swingarm, and the natural line of the bike draws your eye up from the rear axle to the tank.
There was a lot about bobber bikes that worked back in the day. They were made cheaply from old wrecks and were built with the sole purpose of winning traffic-light GPs. Speaking of those traffic light GPs, the amount of torque the 1200 punches out will have many more performance-looking bikes
chasing your tail as you blast away. The ethos of bobber building still works for custom bike builders nowadays, but the lack of a rear shock obviously doesn’t work for regular folk like you and me.
Triumph had to come up with creative solutions when designing the bike. Thankfully there is a rear shock, but it’s almost completely hidden. It would have taken Triumph engineers plenty of time to figure out and get right. Half of the rear section frame is simply missing, the half which normally mounts the Bonneville’s twin rear shocks. That helps to show off the bespoke adjustable aluminium rear seat and rear-wheel-hugging fender.
The rest of it you’d say is simple enough, and that’s to make things look traditional. The single instrument cluster is a mix of analogue and digital
and there are spoked steel wheels. What else do you need?
You might be wondering whether the Bobber handles at all, or whether it’s a straight-line wonder like the originals. Well, you’d be dead surprised to know it handles awesomely. The major thing holding it back is the low footpegs. If you don’t mind some grinding action, get an account with the local Triumph dealer and have replacement footpegs on constant order. You’ll need them. The Bobber handles so well that it doesn’t even get upset when the pegs really grind into the roadway, just bang it over on its side and grind away.
Stopping the Bobber is the main upgrade since we last rode it. Gone is the single disc front and now a twin disc front slows the fun really fast. Previously the single disc front would
just think about slowing the fun, instead. This is the only thing that isn’t in the minimalist tradition of the bobber theme.
Accessories are extensive as you’ve come to expect from Triumph and the Bobber has more than 75 to choose from. I quite like the brown stitched quilted finish seat, short front mudguard and some of the engine covers.
For the boys, Triumph’s Bonneville Bobber is like a seductive woman in a short dress, in this case a nice black and silver number. One you simply melt over; everywhere you look is a thing of beauty. For the girls, it will probably be the seat height of only 690mm that seduces them!
Either way, if you like to punch above your weight and can handle the single life, get on that machine and ride it! D
FUEL CONSUMPTION: 5.44 litres per 100km, premium unleaded
THEORETICAL RANGE: 220km
COLOURS: Jet Black, Matt Storm Grey/Matt Ironstone, Cordovan Red
VERDICT: Be seduced
THE CURRENT STATE OF play (at the time of writing) is that manufacturers do virtual releases. Here is what we virtually learned from Enfi eld. No. Really learned, virtually. The new (updated) Royal Enfi eld Himalayan now adds the awesome Tripper Navigation, along with switchable anti-lock braking system and three new colourways. The three new colourways added to the Himalayan range are - Mirage Silver, Pine Green and New Granite Black, to go with the three other colourways available - Rock Red, Lake Blue and Gravel Grey.
Tripper navigation is powered by Google Maps and features a turn-byturn navigation system housed in a small instrument pod. We’ve used the Tripper navigation on our long term Meteor 350 and found it to be one of the simplest and easy to use systems on the market. It can also feed instructions into a Bluetooth headset.
Switchable ABS is a great addition for dirt roads and the new inclusions
don’t stop there. There’s now improved seat comfort, updated aesthetics, new windscreen, tank protection bars and upgraded carry rack. Euro 5 has been met and a new 3-year (30,000km) warranty and Roadside Assist program is standard.
Commenting on the journey of the Himalayan and the launch of new colourways, Mr. Vimal Sumbly, Business Head APAC, Royal Enfield said “In a short span, the Royal Enfield Himalayan has opened up a new category within global adventure touring, has successfully established itself as a truly global motorcycle and has been among the most soughtafter motorcycle for Royal Enfield across several markets. The originally developed 2016 Himalayan launched in India was a category first, and was a very versatile and accessible motorcycle. Over the years, together with feedback from our riding community, we have consistently evolved the Himalayan in design and functionality, and improved the overall ride experience. This has resonated very well with millions of
The Bear
Says
WHEN I GOT THE EMAIL HEADED ‘NEW HIMALAYAN’ I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE THE TWIN! THE MAN FROM RE TOLD ME I WAS ‘DREAMIN’
adventure enthusiasts across the world, who now have new variants to choose from. With today’s launch, we are confident to further fuel the adventure touring space across the world.”
Super competitive pricing starts from $8190 ride away, making the simple, capable and ‘go-anywhere’ Himalayan a very tasty proposition.
If you’ve been on an overseas tour in search of the Abominable Snowman, you’ve probably been riding a Himalayan and know how well they handle dirt roads.
Stock has already started arriving on showroom floors, so swagger on in to your Royal Enfield store and check them out.
We’ll be on one as soon as we can and will have a full test within these pages. D
PHOTOS ROYAL ENFIELD
Reassembling the XL at Newark Airport after its transatlantic flight.
I USE ‘EM MESELF, MATE:
LUGGAGE FOR THE ROAD
WORDS
Good to go
ONE OF THE THINGS I just love about being involved with a motorcycle magazine is that I can modify bikes without having somebody slap my hand and tell me to behave. If truth be known, over the years there have been many occasions when someone should have slapped my hand and told me to behave. I have been guilty of some appalling modifications which, as I’m sure you will understand, seemed like a good idea at the time. I have been editing or otherwise working for motorcycle magazines for over 40 years, so there has been plenty of time for me to screw up.
Not that all of my mods were failures. Take the Honda XL250s that my mate Charlie and I set up for our ride around the world. Those bikes were just about spot on for the trip, and did their job outstandingly well. The Acerbis tanks, relocated exhaust pipes, combination pannier cradles and crash bars with their twin five litre fluid containers and aluminium tank ‘bags’ (and eventually the Oxford windscreen) all played their part pretty much perfectly. Of course I wasn’t the sole designer; that might have had something to do with it.
THE BEAR PHOTOS VARIOUS
Andy Strapz andystrapz.com
More than two decades ago, Andy “Strapz” White was sitting in his shed cursing a second-hand sewing machine as he learnt to use it. A few weeks later he stood at a swap meet in Goulburn next to a chunk of plywood with a few packs of “Andy Strapz” pinned to it. He never dreamed that he would be a major player in the motorcycle accessory business today. His unique (yes, really) flat Andy Strapz were only the beginning.
The original Andy Strapz continue to be manufactured in Australia and are used in applications as diverse as motorcycles, 4x4 vehicles, trade, travel and ambulances. That last one is especially meaningful because Andy started out in the medical profession.
“Organically, the Mother of Invention took Andy Strapz into Australian Dual-Sport motorcycle gear,” says Andy. “Part of the evolution of the travelling motorcyclist during this time was the advent of Adventure Riding, and I couldn’t find the sort of simple robust bags I was looking for.”
Andy accepted that challenge and among other gear, Avduro Panniers have evolved to become a highly respected and trusted, lightweight yet tough canvas saddle bag system for the serious dirt road traveler. I can vouch for his other gear, too, having used his A Bagz and its extension bagz on a month-long US trip on a Honda Fury. Not much luggage space there!
The original flat Andy Strapz holding luggage on the back of a bike.They’re safe, too.
My Honda Fury in California with its A Bagz and extension bagz.That was my luggage.
HIGHLIGHTS
Rome, Palermo, Valley of Temples, Mt. Etna, ancient cities of Taormina and Syracuse, Maratea, Amalfi Coast, Pompeii
South of Rome & Sicily Tour
TOUR DATES
APR 16 - 30, 2022
OCT 9 - 23, 2022
Good to go
Amanda with a Tully bag on the back of her BMW. A long way from a Kawasaki 250!
“I
HAD ENOUGH OF MY boring, cyclical life in Vancouver where every day started to feel the same. But once in Australia, I wasn’t sure if I could get my Permanent Residency,” she says, “and I hadn’t really left Melbourne because I was trying to establish my life here. I couldn’t imagine leaving Australia without seeing the place properly, so I packed a few spare changes of clothes, some camping gear, and 2x 5L jerry cans on my 2007 Suzuki GSXR and kept the coast on the left hand side all the way around (stopping at Uluru too of course).”
She had another crash and the phone in her jacket pocket bruised a kidney so much she was sent to hospital. “Less than a month later, I designed a flat bumbag that would be worn behind the rider that keeps phones and other hard objects away from the soft parts of your body,” she says.
“I sewed a prototype using a borrowed sewing machine and a polkadot tablecloth from Spotlight. At the time, I was a backpacker and didn’t have any furniture other than a night stand, which is what I used to do my sewing. All up, I spent about $20 on the first prototype.”
That bumbag, called the “Killswitch”, has led to other products including the “Ashvault” backpack and “Tully” waterproof tailbags. I have used them all, and have been seriously impressed by their strength and elegance
“A leg bag is in testing now, with 25 volunteer riders working together to perfect the design. There’s also some adventure gear coming soon! In the long term, my ultimate dream is a combined cafe/warehouse/ showroom. It’s been a consistent goal since Day One.”
Solo Gear Co flyingsologear.com
Amanda Phoenix was born in Vancouver, Canada but she saved her first serious motorcycle crash for Melbourne, Australia when a hit-and-run driver totalled her 28-day old Kawasaki Ninja 250. The visit to Melbourne was supposed to be a one-year trip, but that was more than six years ago.
The GearLok Lock with Cable will lock your helmets, jackets,
accessories to your motorcycle.
bike and thread the other end through whatever it is you want to secure. Insert the locking end of the
cable into the lock, press the Snap Button and scramble the 4 digit security dial. Your items are now secured to your bike!
A family photo of Flying Solo Gear. Amanda promises there will be much more.
Good to go
The tank panniers do make the bike quite wide, but no wider than the handlebar. And they protect my knees.
Aerostich
aerostich.com
And here is one that is definitely not local. Over the years, Andy Goldfine of Aerostich in Duluth, Minn. has become a friend even though we have never met. He started the company in 1983 after inheriting some industrial sewing machines. Aerostich is best known for its range of fabric suits which began with the Roadcrafter, but today it offers a vast range of clothing and accessories. Everything marked with the Aerostich logo is made in the USA.
I like Andy’s attitude as much as his products. “Motorcycles are a social good, and they create episodic transcendence in people and that makes better people. Ethics and business for me are indivisible.You are what you do. How can it not be?” Aerostich also runs an interesting blog. Take a look at aerostich. com/blog .
I have used many Aerostich products over the decades, and currently I am especially enjoying a pair of his Tank Panniers.
“These tough, semi-rigid containers keep your load low and secure,” says Andy. They are “detailed for a sleek look and functional design, and a great value for the price. Constructed of tough, water-resistant urethane coated 1000 Denier Cordura nylon with an adjustable mounting system.” They do a great job on my F 750 GS BMW, carrying mainly fuel or water containers in the ideal location. D
Aerostich Tank Panniers straight out of the box. They also come in fluoro yellow.
Last month we featured a group of Murray River pubs and this month we continue our look at the great pubs that follow the mighty Murray.
Wahgunyah Victoria
Old Empire Hotel
Known to everyone simply as “Fairy’s” after a long-gone but still missed publican, this place is a cracker. Run by Christi and Brett, it’s the local for a good few ex-diggers from an Army retirement place up the road, workers from the Uncle Toby’s factory around the corner, random tradies, travellers in the know and sundry others all of whom seem to enjoy a bevy and a chat. There’s no accommodation but if the tales of cramming 30 people into room 13 when the licensing cops used to call around to make sure it wasn’t trading on Sundays are anything to go by, you might be able to get by with throwing your swag in the carpark. But there’s no need. About 200 metres away there’s a top camping spot right
beside the river complete with sandy beach for a dip and a massive log for anchoring your washing if you decide your jocks could do with a slow rinse. Check out the walls of the pub. Full of old photos and stuff donated by drinkers and your hosts or your new mates will know the stories behind all of it.
Good food which you can take in the beautiful old “Commercial Room” that’s now the restaurant. Easily 4 helmets and 100% on the character scale.
Corowa NSW
Newmarket Hotel
I almost missed this one. The pubs on Sanger St can be passed without loss but the Newie, up the top end on Honour Ave, is something else. Pull up your bike out front near the
genuine Old Bills trough (which could do with a bit of resto) and soon as you open the front door, it’s likely you’ll be welcomed by one of the better ranga publicans on the river.
‘Mitzy’ knows how to run a good pub, and knows how to train staff to do so as well.
For a value-added experience, try to get here on an early Monday arvo. The local stockyards have their sales every Monday morning and for the last 50 or so years a bunch of blokes have met here to talk fat lambs, thin profits, wide paddocks, tall stories and low prices. Grab a beer and sidle up. Easy to see why the sign out front says, Old Cocky’s Pub.
Decent room accommodation, reasonable drink prices, good food and off-street parking for your bike. Solid 4 helmets and top marks for character.
fun) that Ned Kelly attended the fight which was held across the river to escape the attention of the Victorian cops.
Henry’s Bridge Hotel and the Star
Up the road a bit is Henry’s Bridge Hotel. Named after the vengeful, spiteful, petty, visionary who was the
(god)father of the town, it’s been yuppied-up and beer now runs at roughly 5 times the price of unleaded at the servo down the street, but a coldie out front in the afternoon sun is a damn pleasant way to gather your thoughts before heading out of town.
There’s also the Star which runs the width of the block from main drag to the wharves. Owned by the same folks who own the Bridge, it’s also
up-market but its history-filled cellar and ambience of more wine-bar and pizza make it a good alternative to the brasher Bridge.
Interesting town. Well worth a couple of days. Head down through the Hopwood Park to the confluence of the Murray and the Campaspe. Beautiful spot and next time I’m there, reckon it’s quiet enough to throw the swag but if you’re not into camping, the place to stay is just down the road at this next pub.
Rating these is too hard, so check the weather and the vibe and dive in.
Gunbower Victoria Gunbower Family Hotel
This ain’t exactly a one horse town, but it’s bloody close to a one family affair. Everywhere you turn it seems another McGillvray pops up. One’s the butcher, the abbatoirs used to be owned by them and the pub still is –by Bones and his partner Susy.
Bones McGillvray owns property just out of town where he has a few hundred head of black angus cattle. He more cares for them than runs
in the pub’s kitchen via his brother’s butcher shop across the road.
Each morning after he’s inspected his beasts, Bones prepares the meat of their ancestors, the fillets, the T-bones, the porterhouses for that evening. Each piece meticulously boned, sliced, excess fat cut away. Every portion a work of art.
Once the doors open, this bloke is as passionate about giving every single customer – local, regular or blow-in –an experience of a family run country pub.
When it gets near dinner time a local asks me how much courage I have and I tell him I reckon I’m no slouch – have stared down a contract on my life – been to jail half a dozen times for refusing to pay parking fines – that
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Eight of the best
floor to ceiling stuffed animals. A fullblown tribute to the taxidermist’s art, it’s a bloody vegan’s nightmare and it’s the hobby – ‘fetish’ and ‘obsession’ seem too harsh - of Slippery’s partner, Suzie.
She’ll happily show you around the place and introduce you to each of the beasts, beginning with Hamish the Caribou who started the collection and who seems to be peering over Slippery’s shoulder from every angle. My Scots mother used to say, “there’s a moose loose in the hoose” but I’m not sure how she’d handle this herd.
No accommodation here, but the reception you get and the atmosphere you’ll be immersed in, will make for stories you’ll be telling for an age. Unique character? Are you kidding me? D
The Murray River west from Albury is a golden stretch for good pubs. These are eight of the best in the first 300kms. In these Covid times check ahead for the current version of Dan’s and Gladys’s rules and note the area prefixes as stated here are correct – yes some places in NSW have 03 and some in Vic have 02.
Old Empire Hotel
6 Foord St, Wahgunyah, Vic T: 02 6033 1094
FB: Old Empire Hotel
Newmarket Hotel
249 Honour Ave Corowa, NSW
T: 02 6033 1087
FB: Corowa Newmarket Hotel
Barmah Hotel
1 Maloney St, Barmah, Vic
T: 03 5869 3270
FB: Barmah Hotel
Echuca Hotel
571 High St Echuca
T: 03 5482 1087
FB: Echuca Hotel
Bridge Hotel, Echuca
1 Hopwood Place, Echuca, Vic T: 03 5480 1000
FB: Henry’s Bridge Hotel Echuca
Gunbower Family Hotel
18 Murray Valley Hwy, Gunbower, Vic T: 03 5487 1214
FB: Gunbower Family Hotel
Royal (Bridge) Hotel
2 Murray St, Barham, NSW T: 03 5453 2014
FB: Royal Hotel Barham (NSW)
Mates Royal Hotel
85 Main St, Koondrook, Vic T: 03 5453 2406
FB: Royal Hotel Mates Koondrook
U S E D & A B U S E D PUMP IT UP!
BE SMART
Motopressor Smart Pump w/ Puncture Repair Tool and Clip on Valve Ext with Deflation button Combo – $230.25
I recently had two of my rechargeable tyre pumps blow up –one almost caught fire! So I was on the lookout for something better. Of course I turned to the great products Rocky Creek Designs has on offer and when I spotted the Motopressor Smart Pump I had to buy one. I must admit right now that the guys at Rocky Creek Designs refused to take my money, so I will send a big thank you to them before I even start.
However, if you don’t have friends in Rocky places the $230 odd is well worth spending since the features of the Smart Pump are top notch. The ‘Combo’ also includes a clip-on valve extension (valued at $19.95) which means I can clip the pump onto the valve and not have to screw it on – ease of use is paramount! And, the Combo also comes with a
Motopressor Puncture Repair Tool, valued at $65.95 – rather than lugging along a sizeable puncture repair kit, the Motopressor kit is all contained in one multi-tool. To make things even more convenient, the entire lot fits inside the Smart Pump carry case. You can now pack more of the pillion-in-a-million’s ‘essential’ items! She (or he, of course) will thank you for it, I’m sure.
The Smart Pump is a cordless, rechargeable tyre inflator. Not only is it ideal for inflating motorcycle tyres, but I have already used it for my car and mountain bike tyres. My mountain bike has Presta valves, and the included adaptor is much appreciated. Once the weather warms up, I’ll no doubt be using it for the pool toys too. The pump has a built in torch which offers three functions - ON, Flashing and SOS, and it will also charge electronic devices like your phone; I charged my iPhone to 100% with some battery life left in the Smart Pump. It will pump from 3 to 120PSI and is claimed to be accurate within +/- 1.5 PSI. If you want to see how
smartly the Smart Pump pumps, check out the YouTube vid: https://youtu. be/OLI89LXUQ2w
The most interesting feature I have found is that you can set and store four separate pressures and the pump will automatically shut off after the pressure is reached. No need to watch it or worry you’ve overinflated – how good is that!
Charging the Smart Pump takes around five hours, I’ve found, and I charge it using my iPhone charger plugged in the wall.
I have been lucky enough not to have needed the Puncture Repair Tool as yet and fingers crossed I won’t, but it has everything you could want/ need to repair a flat. Pliers to take a screw/nail out of the tyre, reamer to clean the hole in preparation for the repair string (yes, that’s included too), insertion tool and a razor blade to trim the remains once the job is done.
The Motopressor Smart Pump Combo has far exceeded what I expected so I’m happy to suggest you jump onto rockycreekdesigns.com. au and order one now. If you don’t need or want the repair tool or clip-on extension, you can grab the Smart Pump by itself for $169.95.
SPRINGTIME ROMANCE
WORDS AND PHOTOS RALPH
IF YOU PICK UP on the subtlety of much advertising these days, it is as it has always been all about romance and sex. Well, there is no subtlety about the Vespa 150 Pic Nic. Picnics aren’t generally solo occasions. They’re about the scene, the food, the wine and an afternoon, er, snooze after the event on a rug (supplied).
Piaggio has geared everything to that earthbound ballet with the rather beautiful Primavera 150 Pic Nic. In a light green with the finest metalflake you will ever see, it sparkles like the Adriatic in summer. The dual seat, the dual racks for his and her, along with basket, rug and a USB port in the glovebox are cuteness personified. For me, sadly, it was very much a solo effort for my week together with the Pic Nic. Perhaps I’m just not the sharing type.
But while this 150 Vespa failed its advertising by not getting me hooked up, I did have some fun and a lot of interesting conversations. I played around with a hundred versions of Audrey Hepburn and the Roman Holiday story and how Vespa is synonymous with love, Italy and escapism with everyone who approached me. Making my getaway, I found there is the smoothest of power from the very economical powerplant. The take-up and seamless nature of the CVT transmission really allows the mind to wander and just enjoy the experience and live in the moment.
That moment won’t be particularly exciting, mind you. The speed at which you will proceed is limited, but the attention you attract will be rewarding. People stare, people take time to talk about the Vespa and people smile. Kids wave and puppies yelp. You will find yourself
LED lighting, and it is as practical as you can get with tons of storage, a strong centre stand and a usable (for a change) side stand. In the end the scooter is almost too pretty to push into the vulgarity of commuting duties, and force it to join the unwashed, mistreated and dinged-to-oblivion scooters in city parking areas.
Talk about pretty: the price of $8990 ride away is pretty high, but you get well thought-out concepts and kit with the Pic Nic. The paint, wheels and trim hint are all high quality and hint at real retro along with the sweeping analogue speedo and the chrome trim on the handlebar switches, hiding the brake lever pivots. The front brakes have well calibrated anti-lock braking (for a learner) and the rear brake is strong and progressive.
The standard equipment lives up to the name, and the Pic Nic comes with a rattan basket and plaid blanket to start you off. You just need to add the cheese platter and wine. I lucked out with the fairer sex, but you never know, if you are male you might have them throwing themselves at you. Ladies, I’m sure blokes with even the slightest touch of romance in their blood will try their very best to charm you when they see you on a Pic Nic. One thing that hasn’t changed in the 20 odd years I have been riding Vespas is there has never been a shortage of new riders shelling out the extra money compared to the more plastic scooters for the iconic steeled bodied monocoque Italian beauty – there really is no comparison. D
COLOURS: Green Relax, Grey Materia or White Innocenza
VERDICT: If only life was a picnic
YWORDS & PHOTOS THE BEAR
OU MET THE LATEST
addition to our bike eet in the most recent issue. If you’re like me, you won’t be able to wait until you see what I’m going to make of it!
Yes, that’s right, I am by no means sure where I am going with this Triumph Street Twin project, although I do have a general idea. But more speci cally, I know what I don’t want it to be.
A café racer.
Don’t get me wrong, I like some of the amazing ideas builders come up with when they create one of those, but… well, it’s time for something else.
Just to make sure that both you and I know where this bike is not going, here is an authoritative de nition of a café racer from “Return of the Café Racers”.
“A cafe racer is a style of custom motorcycle that rst appeared in the UK during the 1950s and 1960s. ey were the motorcycles ridden by members of the Rocker or Ton-Up Boy subculture. Cafe racers were created out of a desire to look good and go fast. During the sixties, groups of cafe racers would commonly be found gathering at transport cafes along arterial motorways. ese cafes became the hub for socializing with other enthusiasts and the place to arrange illegal street races.
“Originally cafe racers were based primarily on British motorcycle marques. ey were lean, stripped-back bikes built to go fast. Owners would remove any unnecessary components, t parts designed for the race track and even swap engines and frames in the hunt for more power and improved performance.”
Okay, it doesn’t get much more authoritative than that. e problem for me is that a type of motorcycle that was originally an expression of an intensely personal approach, has been turned into a combination of a work of art, an interpretation of style and an expression of cra . It makes for bikes that are created for others’ eyes, not for the use of the owner and builder in a speci c environment.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
A er all, many objects that began life
as utilitarian answers to some need have turned into precisely the same kinds of thing. Look at Alessi kitchenware, especially Luigi Colani’s utterly impractical orange juicer. I have one of his Warsteiner beer glasses, which truly is a work of art. I don’t drink beer out of it.
So, if café racers are built to win competitions in spare white artistic halls for their appearance rather than to roar down grimy factory back roads in English industrial estates, then that’s ne. Not convinced? Consider another branch of art, painting. It began on cave walls as a way of ensuring a successful hunt and is now made of canvas hung on walls to ensure appreciation of the business success of the owner. Just as café racers began as practical machines, they are now objects of admiration. Yes, I know that a lot of them can be and are ridden. A lot of paintings are used to hide safes or air conditioning controls, too. Don’t distract me.
all-too frequent threnody about the way the motorcycling community is ageing. No longer do we spend our Saturday a ernoons racing from the Ace Café to the nearest roundabout while the latest Eddie Cochran disc spins on the jukebox turntable. Instead, we are on the way to the 7-11 to pick up a tube of Polident, or o to the liquor shop for another Mild Turkey. Sorry, Wild. Wild Turkey. We don’t primarily need power, responsiveness and speed, we’re looking for comfort, reliability and some carrying capacity. at, then, is what will set the Tearoom or High Street Racer apart from the standard donor bike.
What I am leading up to is that it is perhaps time for a new iteration of the personally created motorcycle. We have had choppers and bobbers and the rest, sure. But I think there is room for another type of custom bike. Not a café racer, but perhaps a tearoom racer. Or, with another nod to the English origin of its predecessors and my donor bike, a Tearoom Twin.
So how will our Street Twin evolve into a Tearoom Twin?
You are no doubt familiar with the
But just as we are not entirely Over It, our bikes should not be, either. And so none of the customising of the typical Tearoom Twin will reduce power, braking or handling. Keep in mind here that unlike the original café racer donor bikes, today’s motorcycles have outstanding brakes, exceptional handling and more than enough power already. ese do not need much work, if any. If we are going to have fun on the bikes as well as using them for practical runs to the farmers’ market, then these things must not be diminished. e Tearoom Twin will not be wimpy.
I already have quite a list of modi cations to convert our bike into a Tearoom Twin. But I’m always happy to listen to new ideas. Drop me a line at thebear@ausmotorcyclist.com.au, and tune in again next month! D
BOOTS AND GLOVES
BY STUART
PROTECTING YOUR HANDS
AND feet are as important as protecting your head while riding a motorcycle in my mind. I’ve seen what happens to riders who haven’t worn gloves and/or boots (which I’ve mentioned before) and the impact that it has on their lives is not worth the two seconds of time it takes to put a pair of boots and a pair of gloves on. As we always do, we put the call out to the various distributors and here is what they want you to know about…
Flexible and light wind proof glove fitted with a Raintex breathable waterproof membrane. Made from Goat leather and Spandex featuring a TPR knuckle, TPR palm, TPR finger, EVA thumb, Centrack 30° buckle, Touch tip and a strap wrist / cuff. Available in Black and sizes S – 4XL. 3 1 2
1. ATMOS gloves - $99.95
Men’s summer gloves featuring full armour, and despite being full length are lightweight and superbly comfortable. Made from Goat leather and Neoprene with a Bemberg reversed comfort liner and a Velcro wrist closure. Available in Black and sizes S – 3XL
2. DARKO gloves - $59.95
Lightweight summer glove with a grippy palm and EVA knuckle and palm protection. Made from synthetic Nubuck and Spandex. Available in Black and sizes S – 3XL
3. TERRA - $139.95
TCX BOOTS
tcxboots.com.au
4. BAJA Waterproof boots - $399.95
The Baja Waterproof boot is an allweather, adventure, enduro ATV and light road riding boot. Waterproof, tough and super comfy. Wherever you’re going, grab a pair for your next ride! Available in Brown or Black and sizes - EU 40–48; US 7–13
5. DRIFTER boots$429.95
This boot is RUGGED! Built to take on the roughest of terrain, yet comfortable, easy to put on and take off, and durable. Of course, the Drifter is not only rugged, durable, comfortable and great looking, it’s safe. CE-certified to the highest European standard, with protection in every area a full-on Adventure rider needs – especially in the ankle, heel and toe areas.
Featuring a vintage leather upper with padded front and rear microfibre overlays to increase the level of comfort, a suede leather heat guard and high impact resistant Polyurethane shin plates, the Drifter also looks after your shins and calves, while the commando-style soles offer grip
and security even in the toughest conditions.
Comfort is aided by three 6060 aircraft quality aluminium buckles with micro-adjustable closing straps, a leather shift pad and replaceable anatomic inner soles.
The CE-Certified TCX Drifter Waterproof is available in Vintage Brown, sizes – EU 36-48; 3.5-13 US.
6. EXPLORER
EVO GORETEX boots - $299.95
All-weather touring boot made with a microfibre upper and abrasion resistant Cordura fabric, performance comfort Gore-Tex lining, ankle reinforcements, polyurethane shift pad; reinforced shin plate, toe and heel counter, elastic, Zip + Velcro band closure and a touring sole with specific grip area. Available in sizes – EU 36-48; 3.5-13 US.
7. HERO Waterproof boots - $379
The TCX Hero WP is a classically styled, yet waterproof boot and is now available in Black as well as the everpopular Brown. It features a full grain leather upper and a waterproof T-Dry lining that is breathable for all-weather riding. It has reinforced ankle, heel and toe areas with leather shift pads plus Velcro, zip and lacing closure for security and comfort. Get adventurous with the “ideal” commando type sole for ultimate grip in the urban jungle. Available in sizes - EU 36-48, US 3.5-13.
8. RUSH 2 Waterproof
boots - $199.95
Microfibre upper with a T-Dry waterproof lining, the Rush 2 features reinforced malleolus, shift pad, toe and heel counter, closure with laces and Velcro, OrthoLite footbed with long term cushioning and high levels of breathability and an alluse outsole with high wear-resistance. Available in sizes - EU 40-48; US 7-13
9. STREET 3 Waterproof
boots - $219.95
Made with a grain leather upper, with nubuck finishing, the Street 3 WP boot features a midsole with Zplate shank, to optimize front flexibility and transverse rigidity, reinforcements on malleolus with D3O inserts, reinforcements on toe and heel, T-Dry waterproof membrane, closure with laces, elastic band to store the laces, OrthoLite footbed with long term cushioning and high levels of breathability and a wear-resistant rubber Groundtrax outsole designed to offer a superior stability. Available colours Black, Brown, Green/Brown and sizes – EU 3948, 6-13 US.
Airium for men in the sizes 6 through 14, the Airi with its unique fit for women’s hands in the sizes 6 through 10.
14. RUKKA ARGOSAURUS 2.0 GORETEX gloves$345
Building upon the original Argosaurus gloves, the new Argosaurus 2.0 Gore-Tex gloves aim to take things higher by implementing the latest Gore Grip waterproof technology from Gore-Tex in a longgauntlet leather chassis with reinforcements designed for long-distance touring and sport riding. As expected of high-end touring motorcycle gloves, the Argosaurus 2.0 Gore-Tex gloves achieve a Level 1-KP certification with flying colours.
15. RUKKA CERES 2.0 gloves - $286
The Rukka Ceres 2.0 GTX Gloves use Gore-Grip technology to fuse together 3 layers into 1. The result is a full leather glove with GoreTex breathable waterproofing that gives you full feel of your controls despite the multiple layers in the glove. Leather with strategically placed elastic textile provide abrasion resistance and comfort. Knuckle and palm protection safeguard your hands in case you inadvertently meet the ground. A visor wiper on the left index finger lets you keep riding with dry hands and clear vision.
The Rukka accessories warranty is valid for 2 (two) years from the date of purchase against faults in material or workmanship
16. RUKKA THERMOG+ winter gloves - $230
The Rukka Argosaurus 2.0 Gore-Tex gloves are a safety upgrade from the preceding Argosaurus gloves; the palms are fully reinforced as expected in premium touring gloves and construction quality is impeccable.
The Rukka ThermoG+ are a short glove built to keep your hands safe from the weather and the road. Rukka have gone all out on this glove making sure you’re getting those high-quality third-party materials with Gore-Tex laminates, 3M thinsulate, and more to make sure you keep warm and dry. The outer shell of the ThermoG+ is composed of an abrasion resistant material with additional leather at
the palm for abrasion resistance and durability. To make the gloves more comfortable for touring riders, they also include a visor wiper in the index finger as well as touchscreen fingertips in both the index finger and thumb, so you don’t have to take your gloves off to adjust your GPS. Since the ThermoG+ are designed for touring, this means that they will be exceptionally comfortable. Putting them on, you have a stretch rib knit in the wrist and an adjustable strap in the wrist for comfort and fitment.
17. RUKKA VIRVE ladies Gore-Tex gloves - $240
Built entirely with no leather, the Rukka Virium Gore-Tex gloves are purported to be airflow-friendly, waterproof motorcycle gloves packing heaps of comfort and functional features as Rukka has us all accustomed to with its wide range of motorcycle gloves. Despite its non-leather construction, the Rukka Virium Gore-Tex gloves are indeed CE-certified as Level 1-KP to EN 13594:2015, which is the corresponding EN Standard for protective motorcycle gloves.Virve with its unique fit for women’s hands in the sizes 6 through 9.
IT WAS GOOD WHILE IT LASTED Bear army: the end
SOME YEARS BACK, WHEN we still had to look up the meaning of “pandemic” in the dictionary and the idea that we would one day all wear masks while passing the time of day would have been considered absurd, a young fellow decided he did not like me any more. From memory, the problem was that while I had published a story of his in Road Rider (a respectable magazine at the time) I had not published a story by his girlfriend. I stand ready to be corrected, but that’s how I remember it. Said young bloke published a resounding criticism of my work in netrider.net.au, but unfortunately (for him) he discovered that a lot of other Netriders liked my stuff, and were not hesitant about telling him so. The whole thing added up to a pleasant justification of my work. Try putting ‘Peter “The Bear” Thoeming’ into Google and you’ll see the whole business.
What came out of it for me, apart from the warm feeling that a lot of people out there liked my writing, was a comment the young fellow made. He wrote: “I can see he has his army.”
Some time later, when I was trying to come up with a name for a gathering of riders that I wanted to start, it suggested itself. The Bear Army! It came about, and for six years or so we met twice a year in some small town or other to dine with one another, tell the usual lies and get to know some other riders we would normally never have met over dinner as the Bear Army. We wore our Army T-shirts and badges with pride and
helped a few hamlets along with a few bucks.
Then the shit hit the fan. I will let the note I had to send to Bear Army troopers speak for itself.
Greetings, Troopers, and I hope all is going well with you and yours in this time of the Plague.
I have some (other) unwelcome news. As I get older I get more risk averse, and I’m afraid that is now impacting the Bear Army. Let me give you some background.
When I was running the Readies Rallies, one rallygoer broke his leg getting off his bike. He thought he would sue the council, which had left a large pothole where he put his leg. When he consulted a solicitor about that, he said that the first thing the council would do would be to sue me, because I was the reason he was there in the first place. Fortunately for me he pulled the plug.
I did some research and discovered that if a rallygoer had a crash or anything else went wrong, and they claimed insurance the first thing the insurance company would do was also to sue me. No matter if they had no chance of winning; the potential legal costs for me would then make it impossible for me to defend the case. It is all very well to say that none of the rallygoers would sue me; it would not be their decision. And if they were hurt badly they would need the insurance money anyway.
At the time I made the Hodaka 125 Motorcycle Touring Club, which was the body theoretically responsible for the rallies, a registered club etc
etc which theoretically was supposed to remove direct responsibility, but I have been advised that that would not work. Likewise, getting attendees to sign indemnity forms would still allow legal action against me.
So by running an event involving motorcycling, I am exposing myself to serious financial danger.
I attempted to shortcut this by announcing the Bear Army Manoeuvres as simply dinners, not involving motorcycling, but I am now informed that all the arrangements surrounding the Bear Army mean that any event connected with it could be considered a motorcycle event despite that.
I am afraid the only reaction is to stop any events connected with the Bear Army.
Can’t tell you how sorry I am, but I need to do this if I’m going to get any sleep.
Military greetings, General Bear (Ret) Ex-Commanding Officer Bear Army
The reaction from the Bear Army is best summed up by one of the letters I received in return. There were many others along similar lines.
G’day Peter,
The disbanding of the Bear Army is so disappointing that any words I could muster to express my depth of feeling would be inadequate. Nevertheless, I wish to publicly thank you for your efforts – so I hope this is suitable enough for publication.
WORDS THE BEAR PHOTOS PETER COLWELL
The very first Bear Army Manoeuvres, the morning after at breakfast.
The Bear Army is/was a marvellous initiative of yours and I have nothing but gratitude to you for pulling it together.
The ‘looseness’ of the Army was its core attraction: either go, or don’t go, to a gathering – the decision was always an individual one. But if you did attend, you were assured of congenial two-wheeled (and three wheeled!) company. And such was my experience.
I made a number of what I regard as good acquaintances, that but for the intervention of the Plague, would have evolved into closer friendships –such is the calibre of all the Troopers I met. So, to all the Troopers out there – thank you for your companionship and I always hope to run into you again one day soon.
As my last thought on the matter – I heap all manner of ancient and powerful curses and revulsion on the filth who is attracted to the concept of ‘free money’ through litigation. This I feel, is a direct result of their lack of stoicism, personal accountability and assessment and acceptance of risk of harm to themselves. An issue Boris has banged on about long and hard, and rightly so.
Thanks once again General Bear –see you on the road.
“Valeat quantum valere potest” – let
it stand for what it is worth.
Ex-Trooper #14
As I noted, this reaction was typical. Others included, from Trooper #43:
Dear ex-General Bear,
I read your email in disbelief and with a fair degree of sadness.
Even though I only managed to attend two of the Bear Army functions - Dorrigo and Gulgong, I had booked for a couple more and had to pull out and a lot of the earlier ones clashed with school holidays which didn’t work for me. I met some good people and even though they advised me that I was too young for their group (I’m not, I just don’t look as old as they feel), I always intended to sign up for another one at some stage…
was then in limbo for several years as a result. This is despite the fact that the run scheduled for the day went nowhere near the carpark in question! The world has gone mad.
A similar thing occurred at the (deleted) Trotters running club where a member tripped over in a council car park pothole and badly fractured his wrist. Being a dental surgeon, he sued Gosford Council who then immediately countersued (deleted) Trotters. The Club discovered that their public liability insurance was inadequate for the occasion - probably because someone took a cheaper premium at some stage. The club
After 40 years or so of reading your articles, it was great to finally meet you through the Bear Army. Enjoy your retirement, you’ve certainly earned it. No way am I retiring. There are far too many roads to ride yet. But I will hand in my commission. Here we go, Trooper #78 took it on the chin.
Hi Bear well that is not good news, but in these strange new conditions we now live in I can understand your decision. However anytime you want to say “guys let’s meet up for a beer and a chat” I’ll be keen, as soon as the borders open I will be riding to my home town of Coonabarabran, the long way via as many gravel roads I can find.
Trooper #63 was supportive, as were all of the other responses. Thank
CLASSIC BIKES
The Bear says: “Ducati workshops have stopped accepting firstborn children as payment because toddlers are a glut on the market.”
The Bear says: “Not many people know this, but the International Fellowship of Chiropractors subsidized every Ducati 916 made.”
rst 916s which were built in the Varese, Cagvia-owned factory, and the later Bologna ones. No space for a big history lesson! e Varese factor means a 916 from the very rst year of production will be sought a er.
ey are rare mainly because the Ducati enterprise (as was the way back then) changed ownership and therefore the factory in which they were produced. e serial number of course a giveaway. Also, the little Cagvia elephant logo on the fuel ller cap.
ere are some more minor things. It’s doesn’t matter unless you are a collector or really lucky. is model has gone up about 40% in the last 18 months since rolling into my mate’s hands. Which means I was doubly careful pushing or riding this baby.
RIDE IT!
To ride one these days is more amazing than any other life-changing experience I am able to remember. It is painful, but so is a new Panigale. For my mind the Jota, despite its obvious size and extra weight, is easier to ride, although any real-world performance comparison would be settled hands down in favour of the twin. Everything about this bike, other than the dry clutch, would still be relevant and could be bolted onto a 2021 motorcycle right now. at’s how far ahead of its time it was.
Both bikes validate the oftenapplied reasoning that a hundred horsepower (or thereabouts) is all you ever need for a road bike. Especially in these times with a speed camera lurking in the back window of every second Hyundai.
My mate doesn’t ride all that hard anyway but who cares? Both of these bikes are glorious examples of motorcycling from 25 plus years ago. My recent spell on the Jota had me playing with thoughts of an MV Agusta comparison, but the equivalent bike has both the thrill and the rarity as well as status of (at least) a Ferrari F50.
e 1992 Ducati 851 recently delivered to TNG dovetails nicely between the Jota and 916 and I wish we’d had time to get the three of them together in one place. TNG’s latest ‘investment’ only just made it to DMoto
in Clyde for a good check over and fresh Pirelli boots as we headed off for our ‘mental health’ blast. The 851 eight-valve liquid cooled V-twins were produced between 1987 and 1992, and having previously ridden them I recall them as much quirkier and more raw than any later Ducati sports bikes.
If you have just returned from your 30-year Antarctic stint researching the courting behaviour of Adelie penguins then you could be forgiven for not knowing that the Ducati 916 has won more ‘most beautiful motorcycle ever made’ awards than I have had speeding fines, Who am I to argue? The two years between the 851 and the 916 were significant, mainly due to the divine genius of Massimo Tamburini.
Few riding machines will ever make you feel as good as your wedding day, the birth of your child or winning Lotto, and even a 916 has its shortcomings. They are painful in traffic, and instead -- being a Ducati -love to be let off the leash and have those throttle bodies fully opened. The world becomes noise and a symphony of gears, brakes, entry-points and precise handling as much as out-and-out performance, given its age.
We cruise into Centennial Park and the last half hour, to be honest, was excruciating as my memory rambled through race-tracks here and overseas and many rides of friends’ bikes and press machines that I have spent time on. One quick (actually not so quick under the circumstances) ride brings it all back like it was yesterday. Oh yes, I can see the appeal.
In a comparison with today’s bikes, an 800cc commuter has almost as much power (100HP on a good day) as the 916 and a small fraction of the running ownership costs.
The 916’s calling card is how it will make you look and feel and if you are up to the challenge, will make you a better rider. You will learn precision when it comes to using all the controls and develop a new level of trust in the chassis. The results can be higher corner speeds and more relaxation about the lean angle, perhaps once you swallow a few bravery pills. Even now a well ridden 916/998/999/1098/1198 or 1199, be it on road or track, offers a spiritual experience. The hellish nightmare can be the running costs and reliability if the dice of classic bike investment haven’t rolled your way. Unlike my buddy who rides all of his babies, this won’t bother most collectors. D
R.O.I FOR THE WALLET
The last five or ten years has produced some remarkable stories of good fortune and great returns on investment, especially with Italian machines. I think the savvy market is moving to more modern bikes, preferring an electric leg these days. There still is a place for the old kickstart, although many will prefer just to ogle and perhaps invest, rather than risk buggering up a knee. It is a shame that fewer and fewer of these bikes will be seen (isn’t that our job?) let alone ridden and as their values rise they are ever more likely they are to be closeted away in a humidity-controlled cellar or loungeroom.
The Varese 916 and the Jota have both climbed from about an average of $22,000, less than two years ago, to almost double that. The 916 is about $10,000 dearer than a comparable later 916 as purists tend to go for the very first or very last of each edition. The 851 is worth looking at if you missed out and besides -- it is red! Get red hot blooded and let some Italian flow through your veins.
N
E W I N T H E S H O P S
EVOLVED PERFORMANCE
Shoei NXR2 – from $799.90
Boiling down the whole knowledge of helmet development, Shoei has created an astonishing concentrate of pure performance. Experience the raw feeling of bike riding without distraction! With a compact and progressive shell design, light weight, high strength with effective noise reduction.
Compared to the outgoing NXR, Shoei claim a 6% reduction in lift and 4% reduction in drag. Available in a variety of solid and graphic colours, whip into your local bike shop and secure yours now. shoei.com.au
ENJOY THE FLOW
Wunderlich Flowjet - $99.90 euro
The special BMW models in the “Edition 40 Years GS” are incredibly popular. Rightly so! The broad palette, which ranges from the F 750 GS to the R 1250 GS/R 1200 GS LC Adventure, covers the entire spectrum of the travel Enduro: from the handy all-rounder through to the perfect machine for globetrotters. Wunderlich has designed a windshield for each of them from the FLOWJET range. Their striking design emphasises the
PREMIUM MEETS PREMIUM
SW-MOTECH Trax Adv Systems
Together with Akrapovic, SWMOTECH has put together special sets consisting of TRAX ADV aluminium case systems and matching Akrapovic slip-on exhaust systems. The sets are available for the Yamaha Ténéré 700, Honda Africa Twin CRF 1100 L and BMW R 1250 GS. For the Africa Twin and the 1250 GS the PRO side carriers have been specially adapted to the Akrapovic Slip-On units. The Akrapovic Slip-On improves the performance of the bike and offers the distinctive Akrapovic sound.
sporty character of the travel Enduro. The yellow and black bumblebee colour scheme means they integrate perfectly into the contour of each “Edition 40 Years GS” model series. This works via plug-n-play because there’s no painting or covering required! The FLOWJET is mounted in place of the standard windshield, meaning you can set the angle/ height just like with the original and comes with a 5-year warranty, naturally. wunderlich.de
The mufflers from Slovenia are of high quality and look good, just like the SW-MOTECH aluminium cases from the TRAX ADV series.
If you are looking for an extremely well-made and reliable set of cases and the matching high-quality exhaust system, SW-MOTECH has the complete package. All components are compatible with each other and can be mounted on the bike by yourself with a little skill. Get in touch with the guys and gals at motorradgarage.com.au
N E W I N T H E S H O P S
GET READY TO GO!
IMTBIKE new tour dates
ENGERISE!
Motopressor Battery Charger/Maintainer
RC-2000: $75.95, RC-750: $46.75
Charge up and maintain one of the most important parts of your motorcycle – the battery! Without charge you’ll be going nowhere fast so getting a top-quality battery charger/maintainer is a great idea! The two following have just been released by the awesome folk at Rocky Creek Designs – rockycreekdesigns.com.au
The RC-2000 is perfect for keeping all your 12V and 6V lead-acid in batteries in top condition. Once a battery is fully charged the unit will automatically switch to a maintenance mode, maintaining your batteries charge for prolong periods without overcharging or damaging the battery.
The unit is suitable for charging batteries with a capacity from 2 to 60 Amp-hours and maintaining all battery sizes. It outputs a constant 2000mA and safety features include protection against reverse polarity, short circuit and overcharge.
Simply press the mode button to switch between charging a 6V or 12V battery. The charger goes through a comprehensive 8 step charging and maintenance process. An LED light indicates if the battery is charging and when it is fully charged.
The RC-750 is perfect for keeping all your 12V and 6V lead-acid batteries in top condition, including WET (flooded), GEL, MF (Maintenance-Free) and EFB (Enhanced Flooded Battery). It has a built-in intelligent microprocessor that makes charging and maintaining a charge, fast and safe.
Australia is almost back open to international travel so now is the perfect time to start booking that motorcycle tour you’ve always dreamed of. Jump onto imtbike.com and check out the great selection for your delectation. The Bear, Ralph or Stuart might see you on one of these tours, too! Book risk free with IMT’s covid policy.
GET READY, TOO!
Adriatic Moto Tours
ONLY SEE GREEN
Kawasaki Accelerate Men’s T-Shirt - $35
Men, wear your brand with pride. This black cotton t-shirt with original Kawasaki graphic on the chest, lower front, arms, and lower back is available in Australian men’s sizes XS-4XL.
Simply press the mode button to switch between charging a 6V or 12V battery. Safety features include
• Protection against reverse polarity, short circuit and overcharging.
• A Green LED flashes to indicate the unit is in charge mode and turns solid when the battery is fully charged.
• The unit outputs a constant 750mA, making it ideal for maintaining a charge in your battery. D
Adriatic Moto Tours has many new dates available for their wonderful tours. Book that trip of a lifetime and you’ll probably catch one of us on these tours, too! adriaticmototours.com Book risk free with Adriatic’s covid policy.
W H A T S A Y Y O U ?
WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU, the letters are among the most keenly read parts of the magazine. Please try and keep letters down to no more than 300 words. We do reserve the right to cut them and, you do need to provide a name and at least your state, if not, town or suburb. Please address letters to contactus@ausmotorcyclist.com.au or Australian Motorcyclist Magazine, 17 Weeroona Place, Rouse Hill NSW 2155. All opinions published here are those of the writers and we do not vouch for their accuracy or even their sanity.
LETTER OF THE MONTH
LUBING A POSSUM?
IHAVE ABSOLUTELY no idea how a Possum will use some chain lube, unless he’s like one of those mini bike riding monkeys overseas. I have, however, heard rumours he rides an R 1200 GS [in fact it’s an F 800 GS these days – the sub], so he must be an ultra-rare breed of possum, called – “humungous possumis” or something like that. We done, mate, you’ve won the Motul Chain Pack. I do seem to keep picking winners that own shaft drives! Maybe you can donate it as a prize at the next rally?
Cheers, Stuart.
THE DIFFERENCE?
Stuart,
Just read your write up on the new Hayabusa and specifically your comments on the indicators lighting up during heavy braking. While tooling around the
and various other roads in sunny Italy, I saw a common event whereby if there was some heavy braking and weird shit going on up ahead, people would light up their hazards while braking. This sent a message back and people backed off and slowed down before it turned into a giant shunting event.
I asked a few locals about it and the common answer was, yeah, everyone knows what that’s about, it’s to warn the traffic behind you. A further refinement was to keep an eye on your mirror and when the vehicle behind you lit up his hazards, you could turn yours off, as you knew the message had been passed on and acknowledged.
Maybe it’s a driver education thing. Certainly, the muppets sitting in their cars around here would be clueless or absorbed by their phones (note - I did not call them drivers, that implies some skill!).
We are all going stir crazy for want of a rally to go to - BMWTCNSW are still trying to get something happening
for the Far Cairn (Tottenham), and the Ducati Club NSW has moved the Thunder Rally back to November in the hope things will improve.
Keep up the good work, Possum
Hi mate, hope all is well. Sadly, I think the attitude of Aussie drivers negates anything that happens over in Europe and getting that attitude to change will be near impossible I reckon? Yes, I can’t wait to get out and about proper. All I have been doing is going out for photos and limiting that as well – trying to do the right thing. Hopefully things open up again very shortly!
Cheers, Stuart.
Stuart,
Driver education needs to be vigorously applied with a lump of 4 x 2! Just in, this morning - it looks like the BMWTCNSW will be moving their September Far Cairn Rally to March next year. Not formalised yet but a little birdie informed me.
Cheers, Possum
STAYING COOL
Hi mate, I’m looking for a summer helmet with good ventilation. I have an X-lite which is great in winter but too frigging hot in summer. I notice the BMW system 7 helmet is on sale – is it any good? Any other helmets you’ve worn that are comfy and cool…?
Hope to catch up on a ride – I’m busting to get out there…
Cheers, Jack
Hi mate, some of the new ‘retro’ styled helmets flow heaps of air. I have the Shoei Glamster and there’s heaps of airflow. My Arai RX7VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Autostrada
flows lots of air too.
Haven’t tried any of the recent BMW helmets or the Schuberths. Last time I tried one of those on it felt weird for my head shape.
Cheers, Stuart
NOT A FAN
Hi There AMM,
“Long time listener, first time caller” as they say on talkback radio. This letter is in response to your invitation in issue #7 Volume 9 (September 2021) where feedback was sought about electric vehicles. So that my position is known up front, I am not a fan of electric vehicles.
My first concern starts with the generation of electricity. Hybrids, generate the energy with an internal combustion engine (ICE) in the vehicle. Straight EV’s, apart from some Kinetic Energy Recovery Systems (KERS) rely in recharging from the grid.
So, no matter whether hybrid or straight EV, the energy comes from somewhere and that creates pollution of some kind from the onboard ICE or from a power station (coal burning, wind or water powered or nuclear). With current technology, pollution is a by-product of creating energy. Even wind and water power requires energy for the turbines’ construction, lubricant manufacture and maintenance (vehicles to transport parts, and engineers).
ELECTRIC: THE WAY TO GO? THINK AGAIN
With the improvements in technology, the modern ICE is becoming more efficient than the cars I started working on in the ‘70s. With the development of alternative fuels (hydrogen?) they have the potential for even better efficiency and lower pollution.
My second concern relates to the batteries, especially what happens to them once they no longer hold a charge. Do we bury them, burn them, or just leave them lying around? If nuclear power stations become more popular to close the shortfall in power supplies, what happens to the waste? Nuclear waste already a problem worldwide. Thinking about the human side, what are the long-term side effects
for the lithium miners?
These concerns don’t even address the charge time or distances for travellers, or the already stretchedin-summer power grids here in Australia. Think back to blackouts from over usage in South Australia during previous summers as an example, allegedly from increased air conditioner use. While there may be an argument for EVs in major cities, the distances travelled outside our capital cities here in Australia remains a barrier to widespread uptake.
My last concern ventures into conspiracy territory. Since reading the AMM article (Electric: the way to go? Think again), I have become aware (via a Google search) of the EU’s recommendation for speed limiting control on new vehicles sold after 2022. Electric motors are easier to control. It also seems the push for EVs coincides with the move towards autonomous vehicle technology.
In closing, for EVs to succeed, there needs to be a faster recharge capability from a stronger grid. We need longer range and cheaper alternatives to the current crop. Lastly, there needs to be a better way of disposal of the waste products.
Or, we could continue to research better fuels and improve the good old internal combustion engine and look at improvement of public transport to reduce pollution and improve safety. Those who don’t enjoy riding motorcycles or driving cars could make use of a better public transport
system, leaving the roads free for us!
Cheers, Colin Faulkner
Hi Colin, totally agree, mate. I even reckon methanol could be a great alternative fuel – can be made from all sorts of shit! (Well, and dirt.) Pun intended!
Cheers, Stuart.
SWEET, DUDE
Hi Stu,
I have to give you a big congrats on the last issue. The retro issue. I absolutely loved it! How bloody good are some of those old ads. I loved the bike tests and the whole vibe that issue gave. Good times indeed. I also almost pissed myself laughing at the pictures of you, Bear and Boris on the cover. Keep up the great work.
Regards,
George Andino
Hi George, thanks for the kind words. We are going to continue with a bit of retro stuff from time to time, it has been hugely well received by everyone. Cheers, Stuart.
STUFF ELECTRIC!
Stuart,
Bryan Leyland has hit the nail on the head with his article on electric vehicles. The government can shove the electric vehicles right up their ass along with their New World Order.
WHAT SAY YOU
to improve my biceps
to improve my biceps
Hi Harry,
to improve my biceps
Hi Harry,
GOODLY
I’m sure your legs look fine to the ones that care…your family. As for your bike not being a very good exercise machine, you better get an adventure bike and do some hillclimbs, that will get the muscles burning! - Cheers, Stuart.
Hi Harry,
So far I’ve resisted fighting the law as I enjoy freedom and riding my bike, the day I can’t fill my bike up with 98 because it doesn’t fit the government agenda, it will be on like Donkey Kong.
I’m sure your legs look fine to the ones that care…your family. As for your bike not being a very good exercise machine, you better get an adventure bike and do some hillclimbs, that will get the muscles burning! - Cheers, Stuart.
I’m sure your legs look fine to the ones that care…your family. As for your bike not being a very good exercise machine, you better get an adventure bike and do some hillclimbs, that will get the muscles burning! - Cheers, Stuart.
COVID 1
Dear Stuart,
COVID 1
COVID 1
Dear Stuart,
Dear Stuart,
Braidwood. Purpose to ride, have a social get together and have some food whilst out. Now, no such trips.
Hope you are all well, I really enjoy reading your mags but the Mrs always reads them first as I come home with it and put it down and by the time I pick it up she’s read it from front to back, I’m more one of them guys that skips straight to the article on the cover that’s grabbed my attention and then read the entire magazine in some fucked up order back and forward.
Clearly there is a lot of economic downturn as a result of COVID19 and it is further impacting on car sales and I would think motorcycle sales (which I think have been down anyway pre Covid19).
Clearly there is a lot of economic downturn as a result of COVID19 and it is further impacting on car sales and I would think motorcycle sales (which I think have been down anyway pre Covid19).
There is nobody much on the roads in the ACT except those who by necessity have to go out for work or food and essentials.
Clearly there is a lot of economic downturn as a result of COVID19 and it is further impacting on car sales and I would think motorcycle sales (which I think have been down anyway pre Covid19).
There is nobody much on the roads in the ACT except those who by necessity have to go out for work or food and essentials.
The new Busa looks sweet BTW (by the way), I would totally buy one if I had the coin but I’m totally content on my beat up 96 carburetted Blackbird which has smoked a few previous gen Busas, I could be in trouble with this new model hitting the streets with the faster acceleration times, I might need some boost now just to be sure I don’t get beaten by a new Busa cause it doesn’t look like we’re ever gonna see a new Blackbird. If they do ever build a new ‘Bird it will need to be something really special to satisfy the old die hard Blackbird fans.
Hi Stuart, Firstly, great mag, love it each month. The Kawasaki Versys 1000 S you reviewed in the last issue (97) was great. I was looking at the electronic suspension version last year but you have just sold me on this new model. Not only is it cheaper, which is great for keeping things happy with the “boss”, but as you mentioned you’d be hard pressed to really notice the difference between the two. I like the grey paintwork as well, let’s see how the “Highly Durable Paint” goes in real life. Regards, Mark, QLD
There is nobody much on the roads in the ACT except those who by necessity have to go out for work or food and essentials.
I have been managing to use the bike for essential trips within the confines of the ACT border but that is a big change from our weekly ride group where we would usually ride out of the ACT to, say, Goulburn or Boorowa or Yass or
Braidwood. Purpose to ride, have a social get together and have some food whilst out. Now, no such trips. I know there has been panic in terms of buying up of products like loo paper, tissues, hand sanitizer, pasta, canned tomatoes and other products. This panic buying has been ridiculous in my opinion and created a problem of store supply where there was no need to stockpile goods at home. I note that the news reports say that a small supermarket group Drake’s has refused to buy back 150 x 32 roll packs of toilet paper and 150 x 1 ltr sanitizer. I am GLAD they refused a refund as the individual concerned was having about 20 people chase these products and then he attempted to re-sell on E-Bay. Serve the bugger right for being a scungy individual!
transport. The longer we can burn hi octane fuel the better!
Braidwood. Purpose to ride, have a social get together and have some food whilst out. Now, no such trips. I know there has been panic in terms of buying up of products like loo paper, tissues, hand sanitizer, pasta, canned tomatoes and other products. This panic buying has been ridiculous in my opinion and created a problem of store supply where there was no need to stockpile goods at home. I note that the news reports say that a small supermarket group Drake’s has refused to buy back 150 x 32 roll packs of toilet paper and 150 x 1 ltr sanitizer. I am GLAD they refused a refund as the individual concerned was having about 20 people chase these products and then he attempted to re-sell on E-Bay. Serve the bugger right for being a scungy individual!
The ‘Bird is a great machine, I was actually looking at them this morning on Bikesales.
Hi Hugh,
I know there has been panic in terms of buying up of products like loo paper, tissues, hand sanitizer, pasta, canned tomatoes and other products. This panic buying has been ridiculous in my opinion and created a problem of store supply where there was no need to stockpile goods at home. I note that the news reports say that a small supermarket group Drake’s has refused to buy back 150 x 32 roll packs of toilet paper and 150 x 1 ltr sanitizer. I am GLAD they refused a refund as the individual concerned was having about 20 people chase these products and then he attempted to re-sell on E-Bay. Serve the bugger right for being a scungy individual!
Thanks for the kind words.
Cheers, Stuart.
WHERE’S THE GUZZIS?
Thanks for the kind words, although I don’t think the shiny paper would go too good as shit paper. LOL! Cheers, Stuart.
BORIS
Hi guys and girls at Aus MC, Firstly, congratulations on producing a great magazine and one that I buy regularly from my local newsagent.
reasons for the daily figures of these deaths, however this pandemic of COVID 19 is not normal and as you would know has the potential for totally overwhelming the hospital and medical resources of all countries. I am not aware of any cancers etc you can catch from shaking someone’s hand or touching contaminated surfaces. So, comparing normal worldwide deaths to COVID19 deaths is like trying to compare apples and oranges.
reasons for the daily figures of these deaths, however this pandemic of COVID 19 is not normal and as you would know has the potential for totally overwhelming the hospital and medical resources of all countries. I am not aware of any cancers etc you can catch from shaking someone’s hand or touching contaminated surfaces. So, comparing normal worldwide deaths to COVID19 deaths is like trying to compare apples and oranges.
reasons for the daily figures of these deaths, however this pandemic of COVID 19 is not normal and as you would know has the potential for totally overwhelming the hospital and medical resources of all countries. I am not aware of any cancers etc you can catch from shaking someone’s hand or touching contaminated surfaces. So, comparing normal worldwide deaths to COVID19 deaths is like trying to compare apples and oranges.
All the people dissing Boris “Get a Life”. Don’t read it, you know where it is. Last page! Ignore it!
I felt your editorial came across as dismissive of the seriousness of Covid19 and smacked a bit of self-centredness in highlighting the inconvenience it has caused you. I like bikes and riding too, but many people have had to alter travel plans etc for the greater good.
GREAT STUFF
Keep up the top mag guys.
Kind regards
I have been managing to use the bike for essential trips within the confines of the ACT border but that is a big change from our weekly ride group where we would usually ride out of the ACT to, say, Goulburn or Boorowa or Yass or
Joel Durham.
I have been managing to use the bike for essential trips within the confines of the ACT border but that is a big change from our weekly ride group where we would usually ride out of the ACT to, say, Goulburn or Boorowa or Yass or
I haven’t enjoyed a bike mag like this since the old Two Wheels that as a kid I’d eagerly pedal my pushy to the newsagents for every month and read every page once I got it home. I love all bikes and respect anyone
I was just reading September’s issue and I noticed in the New Bike Price Guide that Moto Guzzi’s whole range of V85TT Adventure bikes was left off of this list altogether. I realise that it is hard to keep up with the huge range of bikes available nowadays but as someone who can attest to the many qualities of the V85TT I would really like to see them in the next list so as anyone looking at buying an adventure bike does consider them in the equation. They are a great bike and can do many things and go many places in comfort with no problems at all. Aircooled twin cylinder, low and comfortable seat with a shaft drive. It’s the closest thing that I have found in character to the R80GS I owned from 1984 to 1996.
Hi Joel, Until there’s some sort of easy/fast way to recharge an electric vehicle I never see it being the mainstream mode of
All that said, I think your quoting of figures of the people that die daily from cancer, heart disease, diabetes, mozzies and murders is an unfair comparison! Yes to date the total numbers of COVID19 deaths World Wide would be exceeded by a week’s worth or less perhaps of the
who shares the passion, regardless of their ability or choice of machine. So, I have subscribed, to most of the magazine, but thanks for the spare shit paper at the end :)
I felt your editorial came across as dismissive of the seriousness of Covid19 and smacked a bit of self-centredness in highlighting the inconvenience it has caused you. I like bikes and riding too, but many people have had to alter travel plans etc for the greater good.
I felt your editorial came across as dismissive of the seriousness of Covid19 and smacked a bit of self-centredness in highlighting the inconvenience it has caused you. I like bikes and riding too, but many people have had to alter travel plans etc for the greater good.
Don’t ruin a top read because of one page, personally I love his column (even though I feel he has a firm grip on his nether region). Be a boring read if we succumb to the lowest common denominator. No name provided
BORIS 2
I think that all the media reporting though is worrisome for Australian people as it is repeated and repeated and like the bushfires you do not get a break from it. Every time you turn on the T.V, look at Facebook, listen to the radio it is in your face or ears.
Hugh Jorgan
All that said, I think your quoting of figures of the people that die daily from cancer, heart disease, diabetes, mozzies and murders is an unfair comparison! Yes to date the total numbers of COVID19 deaths World Wide would be exceeded by a week’s worth or less perhaps of the
All that said, I think your quoting of figures of the people that die daily from cancer, heart disease, diabetes, mozzies and murders is an unfair comparison! Yes to date the total numbers of COVID19 deaths World Wide would be exceeded by a week’s worth or less perhaps of the
I think that all the media reporting though is worrisome for Australian people as it is repeated and repeated and like the bushfires you do not get a break from it. Every time you turn on the T.V, look at Facebook, listen to the radio it is in your face or ears.
I think that all the media reporting though is worrisome for Australian people as it is repeated and repeated and like the bushfires you do not get a break from it. Every time you turn on the T.V, look at Facebook, listen to the radio it is in your face or ears.
Keep up the great work,
Peter Crossing Broken Hill
I try to reduce my listening/reading/ watching to once or twice a day to keep up with developments - more than that is
Stuart, I don’t always agree with what Boris has to say but I am well aware of how he writes to get a reaction.
As for the couple of blokes that sent letters in the last issue, I think
I try to reduce my listening/reading/ watching to once or twice a day to keep up with developments - more than that is
I try to reduce my listening/reading/ watching to once or twice a day to keep up with developments - more than that is
B E A R T A L E S
CONSIDER THE END
BTHERE MUST BE A gazillion (that’s a nought with several noughts after and before it) stories out there concerning themselves with starting to get into adventure riding. But I have never seen one about the other end of one’s involvement with this storied pursuit. Since my next birthday will celebrate three quarters of a century since I first opened my eyes (and since there are many other folk in my position, having opened their eyes at inopportune moments), I thought I might tackle the task of compiling such a story.
If I had known that I was going to live even this long, I would have taken better care of myself, so I am not likely to tell outrageous lies about the reason for my longevity. You know: avoid the booze and fast women/men, walk a mile before breakfast and so on. Their families are the ones scratching their heads when they finally “go” and saying: “He knocked over a bottle of Wild Turkey 101 every couple of days, he wouldn’t even get out of bed for breakfast, and as for his collection of business cards from cathouses...”
No, I reckon on ten years, maybe 15. That gives me a useful timescale for
planning. What will I plan to do or not do in that time?
First of all, any long-term targets need to be revised. It is highly unlikely that I will get my weight down to the medically approved level, so there goes long-term project number one. I will be considerably happier hovering somewhere above the recommended body weight index, or whatever it is called, as I do now. Glad that one’s off the table.
This also means that my riding suits, which are currently a Tiger Angel, Klim and Rukka, will see me out. They will continue to fit. It is likely that my four pairs of boots will last, too, although I guess I will need replacement helmets and gloves at various times.
Another long-term intention that will hit the dust is to learn French. My patois – French friends call it “Arab French”, and I speak it with a German accent – has seen me through half a century and will have to continue to serve for those remaining years. I do like learning things, but preferably at my own speed and in my own way. That means formal lessons are out –they just don’t work for me.
It is also unlikely that I will undertake any further studies, for the same reason. This might seem odd seeing that my immediate family is about to record its fourth PhD, but I reckon they plough their fields, I till mine.
I will not buy another adventure bike. Having chosen carefully with the one sitting in the garage, my travel needs are taken care of. There is no reason why the bike should not last ten or 15 years, which also means that I do not have to be concerned about overcapitalising it.
Highly unlikely is also that I will repeat the ride around the world
or the one around Australia. Many places on this planet are fascinating, so repeating trips is a bit of a waste. What I will do, always provided the blasted Plague goes away, is pick the eyes out of the many places I haven’t been or have been only briefly. I have only sampled the roads and passes of the Alps, so there is room for more travel there. Then there’s a visit to the Faroe Islands and a more intimate tour of Scotland, as well as New England. Portugal. Finland. And Outback Australia. There is no end to this list, which also means that it can be cut short at any time by the Reaper.
Back to equipment. The bike I’m currently fooling about with will be my last general-purpose bike, too, I suspect. My classic fun bike will not be replaced. My mechanic, Robbie, tells me that it will effectively be a new bike when he finishes the current overhaul and that’s all I need to know.
The Fujifilm camera gear will see me out, too, and in fact I doubt that I will have explored all of its features by the time I shuffle off this so-well-named mortal coil. I doubt that I will need another computer, or a stereo.
All in all, I’m really sorted. I could go tomorrow and there would be few loose ends. But as Dudley Moore said, “Of course we must die, but not yet. It’s only half past four of a Wednesday afternoon.” D
N E W B I K E P R I C E S
ADV TOURING
G 310 GS
ost prices exclude dealer and on road costs, however some are ride away – ask your local dealer for the best possible price!
APRILIA
www.aprilia.com.au ROAD
Shiver 900 ABS
Dorsoduro 900 ABS
Tuono V4 1100 RR
Tuono V4 1100 Factory
RSV4 1100 Factory
SCOOTERS
BENELLI
BMW
www.bmwmotorrad.com.au ROAD
G 310 R
R nineT Scrambler
R nineT Racer
R nineT Urban G/S
R 1250 R $21,240
R 1250 R HP $27,040
R 1250 R Exclusive $26,065
R 1250 R Spezial $26,765
R 1250 R $22,540
R 1250 RS Sport $28,215
R 1250 RS Exclusive $27,215
R 1250 R Spezial
R 1250 RT $32,290
R 1250 RT Sport
R 1250 RT Elegance
R 1250 R Spezial $34,215
K 1600 B $36,490
K 1600 B Grand America $44,695
K 1600 GT $36,490
K 1600 GTL $37,990
ADV SPORT
F 900 XR $19,835
S 1000 XR $27,975
S 1000 XR Carbon Sport $29,290
F 750 GS
F 750 GS Tour
F 750 GS Low Susp
F 750 GS Tour LS
F 850 GS
F 850 GS Rallye
F 850 GS Rallye X
F 850 GS Tour
F 850 GS Low Susp
F 850 GS Rallye Low Susp
F 850 GS Tour Low Susp
F 850 GSA
R 1250 GS
R 1250 GS Rallye
R 1250 GS Rallye X
R 1250 GS Exclusive
R 1250 GS Spezial
R 1250 GSA
R 1250 GSA Rallye
$8090
$13,590
$17,305
$13,840
$17,005
$17,990
$18,390
$22,305
$21,805
$18,240
$18,640
$21,505
$TBA
$23,490
$24,940
$29,890
$28,140
$31,390
$25,490
$26,390
R 1250 GSA Rallye X $31,590
R 1250 GSA Exclusive
R 1250 GSA Spezial
SCOOTER
C 650 Sport
C 650 GT
CAN-AM (BRP)
can-am.brp.com
Ryker
Spyder F3
$30,790
$30,540
$14,150
$14,990
$13,799
$29,299
Spyder RT $39,299
CF MOTO
www.cf-moto.com.au
ROAD
150NK $3290
250NK $3990
650NK $6490
650TK $7990
650MT $7990
650GT
700CL-X Classic
DUCATI
www.ducati.com.au
*All Ducati prices are ride away ROAD
Scrambler Sixty2
Scrambler Icon
Scrambler Full Throttle
Scrambler Café Racer
$7990
$TBA
Multistrada
$13,490
$13,990
$17,540
$18,990
Scrambler Desert Sled $19,290
Scrambler 1100
$16,990
Scrambler 1100 Special $18,990
Scrambler 1100 Sport $19,990
Monster 659 $12,490
Monster 797 $13,490
Monster 821 $17,500
Monster 821 Stealth
1260
1260 S
NEW BIKE PRICES
HONDA
www.honda.com.au ROAD Grom
NSS300A Forza $7999
HUSQVARNA
www.husqvarna-motorcycles.com/au
*All Husqvarna prices are ride away ROAD
Vitpilen 401 $7875
Svartpilen 401 $7875
701 Supermoto $18,795 ADV TOURING
701 Enduro
INDIAN
www.indianmotorcycles.com.au
$18,795
*All Indian Motorcycle prices are ride away CRUISER
HI’LL BET SOME OF you are already screaming with spittle flying out of your mouths like wet confetti. The heading alone would have made you He-Karens arse-barf into your adult diapers.
How dare that filthy tattooed bikie thug even broach such a subject!? Who even does that? Bastard’s only writing to scandalise people anyway. It’s all for effect. He’s making it all up! Sack him, Stuart!
Heh. Yeah, OK, He-Karens.
You’ll sleep better thinking that, won’t you?
I actually don’t write for effect. That so many marmosets befoul themselves over something I have written is a matter for the marmosets, is it not?
I share stories from my life and the things I have experienced. I sometimes change the names of the people involved or the places where shit happened, but if you think I can make up any of the shit that’s happened to me, you’d be very wrong.
Like riding bikes while whacked on drugs.
During the ‘80s and ‘90s I did this. Lots of people did. During my decade in an outlaw club, I doubt I did all that many miles sober or straight.
Do I advocate that you do this? No.
Do I still do this? No. I’m 60.
Do I look back with fondness on times that have passed? Hell, yes – and I often marvel I survived those times, because so many didn’t.
Do I regret taking drugs and riding motorcycles? No. I don’t regret all that many things in my life… well, apart from maybe not being nicer to my mum.
But I did what I did and I am what I am, and if that gnaws on you, then so be it. I don’t care.
Like I said, I’m not saying you should go out and do what I did. All I’m going to tell you is what happened to me when I did these things.
And may the Road Gods have mercy on my soul…
As you might understand, dosage is
always an important factor, as is the quality of the chemicals you’re using.
Take cocaine, for example. The cocaine we get in Australia is largely shit. Now and again, some really good stuff used to get through without being stepped on (diluted) too much, and you certainly knew about it.
So as you peruse the following, bear that in mind, and assume that I am proceeding upon the basis that all the drugs mentioned are of a fairly good quality.
Oh, and I can’t ride on LSD. I did try. If you’ve had good LSD, there is nothing else you want or can do but take the trip. The same with Mushies. I just can’t ride on hallucinogenics. Which is probably just as well.
So, let’s start at the base and see what happens as we go up the pyramid, shall we?
ALCOHOL
This is all dosage. Type only plays a small part. Once you reach the edge and fall off, it doesn’t matter if you’re pissed on fighting rum, dancing tequila, or cheap wine. You physically cannot ride because you cannot stand up.
Six drinks – Where are my bloody keys?! Give me my bloody keys and piss off! I’m gonna wheelie this mongrel though every gear! But first, a burnout! Seven drinks – What do you mean this is not my bike? Piss off. I’m riding it anyway. Don’t touch me! Whose car is this? Did he see me hit it? No, it’s OK. I can change gears without a clutch. Just give me a push…
MARIJUANA
You cannot be stoned to the point where you’ve shat yourself, OK? You need to be able to get off the beanbag, remember which bike is yours, and get the key into the ignition – and that is not as easy as you think. Then there’s the whole “How do I get the bastard out between all these bikes without smashing them?” Paddling it backwards is almost impossible, but don’t try and do that unless you’re sitting on the bike. You’ll drop it otherwise. If you can manage to get to the street, you’re good to go, and then it’s like…
Oh, man…this is great. I’m so in the zone…yeah, um…OK… no, 30 is a good speed. That pipe sounds great. SHIT! Is that a cop car? Donlookatitdonlookatitdonlookatit…
varies from person to person – I have
But until that point – and that point varies from person to person – I have found the following to be true…
One drink – All good, no difference really.
Two drinks – I’m better at this riding shit than people think.
SHIT! Breathe, breathe…shit, I’m still in third…oh, yeah, the clutch, yeah…nice, fourth…fourth is good. I’m just gonna stay in fourth for a bit.
true…mostly.
Three drinks – I’m better at this riding shit than I think. My heart is brave. My aim is true…mostly.
Four drinks – I’m up for a race. I will actively look for one.
look for one. all the way. And
Five drinks – Race be buggered. I’m riding to Perth. And I will sing all the way. And root bitches. And fight.
How good does the wind feel? Man, this is the best! I wonder if I can balance on just the wheels while I’m sitting at these lights? Ouch! Almost dropped it. SHIT! Is that a cop car? Phew! Made it to the servo. Once I eat these three Cherry Ripes, I’ll straighten up a
sitting at these lights? Ouch! bit…
Next Issue darker
Next Issue we’ll go a little darker and a lot faster. D
