Thrive Group Leader Guide by christchapelbc

GROUP LEADER GUIDE

Contents are a licensed Christ Chapel Bible Church derivative of original “STEPS” material.

Used by permission.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of Citizens Church.

ISBN 979-8-9875989-1-7

Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Citizens Church

4501 Legacy Dr Plano, TX 75024

www.citizenschurch.com

ORIGINAL CONTENT AUTHOR: Michael Snetzer

G r oup Leader

Overview & Expectations

Groups Training Guide

Introduction To Biblical Counseling

The following overview is provided to differentiate biblical counseling from that which is offered through the world. Biblical counseling is distinct as it is rooted in the Scriptures, aimed at the heart with the gospel of Jesus Christ and exhorts the greatest command.

ROOTED IN THE SCRIPTURES

1 Corinthians 1:20

Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?

Ecclesiastes 12:11-12A

The words of the wise are like goads, and like nails firmly fixed are the collected sayings; they are given by one Shepherd. My son, beware of anything beyond these.

WISDOM OF GOD VS. MAN

Rightly understood, all wisdom can fit into one of two buckets. Scripture defines these buckets as the wisdom of man/world and the wisdom of God (1 Corinthians 1-3). These two worldviews are ways of interpreting what is seen. If it is true, it belongs to him, to his praise and glory. These two viewpoints see the other as foolish and are therefore in opposition to one another. Attempting to combine this wisdom is a theological error called syncretism.

The wisdom of God is displayed in Jesus Christ and all of creation exists to bring Him glory. The wisdom of man/world might be described as “satanically controlled culture” and is meant to reinterpret what is seen to lead us away from God and to orient our lives around ourselves. The wisdom of man/world has limitations because its interpretation is based in speculation where the wisdom of God is based in revelation (both general and special).

THE ROOT-FRUIT RELATIONSHIP

Jeremiah 17:5-8

Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any

good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land.

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

As can be seen in the passage above, buying into these different sources of wisdom will lead to much different lives. One is fruitful and one is fruitless. The fruit of a person’s life will indicate the root of their life. Those that put their trust in God and His Word and are nourished by the living waters of Christ will bear good fruit amidst difficult circumstances, and those who trust in man and the world will end up barren and desolate.

AIMED AT THE HEART

Jeremiah 17:9-10A

The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand it? “I the LORD search the heart and test the mind …”

TARGETING SYMPTOMS VS. ROOT CAUSES

Treating symptoms has been described as, “giving aspirin to a man for a headache caused by a brain tumor.” It may relieve my headache for a time, but does nothing to fix the brain tumor. The above text tells us that we have spiritual heart disease, namely sin, which hinders our ability to see rightly. Our hearts are the wellspring of our lives and from it comes our thoughts, actions and affections. Secular approaches to counseling treat symptoms focused on behavior, cognitions and emotions but fail to address the deeper issues of the heart, namely pride and idolatry. We are, however, not left without hope as God understands our hearts and has given us insights through His Word to explain the inner workings of man. God pursues the hearts of His people and will not rest until He wins them entirely.

INFLUENCES ON THE HEART:

THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST

1 Corinthians 1:24

but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is the unfolding plan of God to redeem His people. As we come to understand that the cause of all human suffering is sin, any promise of ultimately conquering the problem and the ensuing suffering apart from the gospel falls terribly short of the hope of redemption found in Jesus. Jesus captivates our hearts as He lovingly lays down His life as a ransom for our redemption. Our hope is to connect the truths of the gospel to our everyday struggles so we might rejoice in the superiority of the gospel as the remedy to all that ails us.

EXHORTING THE GREATEST COMMAND

Mark 12:29-31

“‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you should love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with

all

your mind and with all your strength.’

The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

There is no commandment greater than these.”

All sin stems from disordered love. We worship what is uppermost in our affections. When we sin we love something more than we love God and give the worship that is rightly His to another. This is called idolatry. We have a bent toward worship of the creation rather than the Creator. We are willing to sin against God to get the things we want.

Through the gospel we are given new hearts with the reordering of His creative design and reorientation of our hearts in worship to Him. As our hearts are reconciled to His, we will progressively reflect Christ in the way that we love others.

Understanding t he Soul Care Big Picture

Soul Care offers targeted discipleship in the area of sin and suffering through the model of Care-Restore-Equip Soul Care offers:

Individual Care

• One-on-one Counseling

• Prayer Ministry

• Marriage Mentoring

Group Care Equipping

• Recovery groups

• re|engage (marriage)

• AVENEW (premarital)

• GriefShare

• Wait With Me (infertility)

• Hope Unshakeable (Child Loss)

• Redeemed Sexuality, etc.

1. Caring for One Another; Side by Side

2. Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands

3. Equipped to Counsel

4. Ongoing training and supervision, conferences, etc.

Care Groups are designed to be a pre- or post-cursor to Thrive, our intensive discipleship program in the area of sin and suffering, which is offered in the fall and spring semesters.

All Soul Care groups are designed to have counseling undertones. This means that the groups are designed for people to process out loud in the group vs. ‘teaching’ in the groups. There is great healing power in having a safe group of people to process our feelings, emotions, hurts, suffering, and confess our sin struggles.

Understanding Thrive

The mission of Thrive, is to bring glory to God through lives changed by the gospel of Jesus. Thrive’s intensive discipleship program is comprised of daily Bible study and reflection, assessments, one-on-one mentoring, small group and teaching. Thrive helps us get traction in our relationship with God by addressing unresolved issues from our past, uprooting unhealthy patterns of coping and practicing basic principles of spiritual formation that bring about Christian maturity

PHILOSOPHY

RECONNECTING US TO THE GOSPEL

Thrive seeks to equip the Church with a confidence that the Scriptures are sufficient in addressing the deepest issues of our lives and that the gospel of Jesus is relevant (even superior) to the world’s solutions in addressing these issues. We must recover a right understanding and application of the gospel as the remedy for all that ails us.

COMMUNITY IS YOUR ADVANTAGE

Our desire is that you would understand the change process in the context of church community because God designed us to do life beside each other.

A LIFE OF CONTINUAL TRANSFORMATION

We want everyone to experience the healing and freedom that comes from knowing Christ, so we can all live our lives as citizens of the Kingdom of God. Our hope is not that you remain stuck in a program, but rather, that you grow and move through life in the joy of the Lord!

RECONCILIATION WITH GOD

Reconciliation with God is the goal. Noticing our behavior changing is the by-product. Only Jesus can reconcile us to God, not our good deeds. As our hearts are reconciled to His, His Spirit changes how we relate to everything.

GIVING YOUR ALL

It is a temptation to reduce our walk with the Lord to holiness in one area. If we believe we are “okay” with God because we haven’t sinned in a particular way, we tend toward moralism or legalism, which is merely another form of slavery. Jesus said: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” The Christian life is about surrendering every area of life to God, every day.

PROGRAMS DON’T HEAL PEOPLE

Thrive or any other ministry or program doesn’t heal. Only Jesus Christ can deliver us from bondage to sin and reconcile us to God. We are not here to exalt a program, but the person

and work of Jesus Christ. Fundamentally, sin is the worship of the creation rather than the Creator. When you give yourself to a program instead of Christ, you enslave yourself to a program.

SCOPE & SEQUENCE

Here is a general idea of what to expect this semester. The program is broken up into three main movements:

THE

COMPONENTS

HOMEWORK (3 HOURS PER WEEK) Bible Study

Throughout much of the program, participants will commit to daily Bible study and reflection. The pattern is six days of digging into God’s Word and stopping on the seventh day to reflect. The questions vary in difficulty and some might even be difficult to understand. It is okay to admit we don’t have all the answers. A right answer is an honest answer. Assessment

We first examine the fruit in our lives. As we move through the assessment process, we will uncover the roots of any ungodly fruit that drive our ungodly thoughts, actions and emotions. We are seeking to examine and rid ourselves of those things that hinder the freedom Christ intends for His people. There are six separate assessments that will be discussed and prayed through with Mentors.

ONE-ON-ONE MENTORING (AVG. 2 HOURS PER WEEK)

Participants should schedule time each week to meet with their mentor to review their Mentor Prep sections of homework, or walk through their assessments at the appropriate time of the semester. The amount of time varies depending on what is covered each week.

WEEKLY LARGE GROUP (1 HOUR)

Each week there is a comprehensive lesson rooted in the Scriptures, aimed at the heart with the gospel of Jesus Christ exhorting the greatest command. This time will be accompanied by corporate worship music and host content personalized for your semester.

WEEKLY SMALL GROUP (1 HOUR)

Community is an important aspect to Thrive. Each person will be assigned a small group led by a qualified leader to shepherd the group through the process. The group leaders will ask good questions, keep the conversation moving, and make group time an easy place for you to share This gives participants the opportunity to learn and be encouraged by others

How the components fit together:

(Using the example of a Thursday night campus meeting)

FRI-THU – THURSDAY – FRI-THU

Homework (observe Scripture)

Large Group with Worship & Lesson

Small Group (review teaching)

Mentor Meeting (apply Scripture)

Begin new theme/week

Homework (cycle repeats)

S h e p h e r d i n g T e a m

Remember that Thrive is different form of discipleship in that it’s a team approach. We each refine the our own gifts. The Apostle Paul said it this way:

Romans 12:4-6a

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, 5so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us …

THE OTHER SHEPHERDS

1. THE SPIRIT OF GOD

• He is at work in ALL of us! Leading Thrive 7 days a week (through “homework”).

• Always available.

• Always righteous. Always speaking the truth in love.

Hebrews 4:12

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

2. LARGE GROUP WORSHIP LEADERS, HOSTS, AND TEACHERS

• Keeping the vision of Thrive in front of leaders

• Providing space for worship, reflection and learning.

• Teachers provide deeper illumination of spiritual/theological truths that might have been unclear during the daily Bible study.

• Hosts hit home important elements from the teaching that can be made even more relevant and timely to the individuals in the room.

3. MENTORS

• Guide individuals in a one-on-one setting through deeper discussion of their Bible study applications as well as personal assessments that cover 6 main areas of sin and suffering (suffering/trauma, anger, sexual immorality, guilt/shame, fear and grief).

• Learn to help identify root causes of brokenness in the mentee’s life, guiding them to

The Role of a Thrive Group Leader

offer those to Jesus – the only One who can heal and restore.

• Show others how to walk in freedom found only in Christ by helping to build a biblical and theological foundation of more clearly understanding of the gospel of Jesus.

• Spend lots of time listening, as well as sharing stories – many stories will not have time to share in small group, so the Mentor is here to go deeper and listen longer

The Role o f a Thrive G r o u p L e a d e r

GROUP LEADER ROLE DESCRIPTION

GROUP LEADERS WILL:

• Lead with humility, not expertise. Thrive leaders model a growing walk with Christ and engage the content personally. They don’t act as teachers or fixers, but as fellow strugglers who guide by example sharing vulnerably, listening well, and pointing others to Jesus.

• Facilitate purposeful, Spirit-led conversation. This is not a support group or an intellectual study. It’s a space for intentional dialogue, where leaders ask wise, gentle questions and draw out what God is doing in each person’s heart. Participants should be speaking 90% of the discussion time, with leaders steering the direction rather than dominating the airtime.

• Create a safe, grace-filled environment. The goal is for everyone to feel heard, not fixed. Leaders protect the tone of the group by redirecting unhelpful responses, embracing silence, honoring vulnerability, and responding with compassion, Scripture, and prayer when sensitive things are shared.

EXPECTATIONS OF GROUP LEADERS

• Provide a safe place for participants to share and reflect about what they’re processing from their lives and what they are learning

• Rather than feeling the weight of all of the participant, the group leaders focus on allowing space for people to be honest and share in biblical community. (We outline the goals for this type of community the first night of Thrive.)

• Group leaders often “gate-keep” the group a place of sharing rather than fixing or advice-giving.

• Group leaders balance facilitation and exhortation (about 50% each).

• To effectively partner with the other elements of the Thrive program, group leaders do not:

o Teach content that is not in the group leader guide, or presented in large group

o Accept opportunities to minister 1-on-1 with participants, as this would conflict with the role of the Thrive Mentor.

TIME COMMITMENT

You will meet weekly on campus for 3 hours each week. We ask that Group Leaders commit to missing no more than one week of leadership

GROUP LEADER TYPES

1. PRIMARY GROUP LEADER

Sets the tone and direction of the group, keeps the focus on Christ and the content, and facilitates conversation so that participants do most of the talking. Leads with humility and intentionality.

ROLE OVERVIEW:

• Prepping for group time each week to have a plan for the direction of the discussion/study.

• Lead the group each session

• Invest in your Apprentice Leader in helpful ways. Be available to debrief relevant group time with them to help them understand why you did what you did, give over slowly and progressively more and more group time for them to lead.

• Actively prays for the group

• Pace group time appropriately, grow in using the time in the most profitable way.

• Encourage participants, share vulnerably, answer questions, ask questions that draws out deeper things when it is helpful towards the groups continued growth.

• Be growing in your walk with the Lord and growth in applying God’s word to your own suffering and struggles.

WHAT WE ARE ASKING YOU TO DO:

• Be the primary leader of group time

• Invest in your Apprentice Group Leader in helpful ways to help launch ministry opportunities for them and to help them potentially grow into Thrive or Specialty Group leaders.

• Be available and responsive when the Apprentice Leader reaches out to the you for the regular debrief times between group meetings- weekly.

• Grow in asking good questions to draw out what God is doing, responding after people share, and incorporating scripture into group time to encourage.

• For those members that seem to be nervous, feeling uncomfortable in group, or have poor attendance send encouraging texts/e-mail/phone calls.

• Growing in speaking into the lives in such a way that point them to Christ. Ask good questions.

• Step into the challenging situations and reach out to Soul Care leadership when you need help.

• The primary role is to grow in your ability and skill in group leading and to contribute to the warmth and connection in the group. We hope that you grow in your ability to point participants back to the Lord in a fruitful way.

The Role of a Thrive Group Leader

SHARE THE GROUP LEADING RESPONSIBILITIES WITH YOUR APPRENTICE OR COLEADER:

Assign different tasks each week, such as:

• opening in prayer

• taking a role in leading the discussion

• reading group guidelines

• recapping last week’s lesson

• ending the evening with a Scripture reading and prayer

• handling the group text messages or email communications for your group

Note: The Group Leader should lead the first 3 weeks to get the group dynamic established before the Apprentice Leader steps into leading a whole evening.

SHARED SHEPHERDING TASKS:

Call, text, email or meet with several of the group members each week. Plan who you will contact each week with the other leaders so that there is no redundancy. Spend time encouraging them and getting to know them.

2. CO-LEADER

Shares leadership without crowding the space. May take turns leading parts of the group or serve as a “co-pilot” by observing, praying, and offering support especially through follow-up and insight after group time.

3. APPRENTICE LEADER

Steps in gradually by taking on small roles like prayer or icebreakers, and grows in confidence and skill over time. Learns by watching, practicing, and being coached into deeper leadership.

ROLE OVERVIEW:

• Slowly and progressively lead more of the Thrive group time while getting feedback from the head leader on areas to continue to grow. (From one or two sections some weeks to an entire group once sometime after the first 3 weeks.)

• Connects with your head leader for at least 10-15 mins weekly (text, email, phone) to debrief relevant learning opportunities and plan details of next group time. It is your responsibility to initiate this and to do the connecting and they will respond. This is one of the most important ways for you to grow and help the Group Leader process what is happening in the group and what you are seeing. Make sure to prioritize this.

• Preps for group time each week by reading the material for each week

• Be a dedicated and constant member of your Thrive group

• Actively prays for the group

• Connects with members outside of group for the purpose of encouragement and to pray with them.

• Helps foster connections for members of the group to get to know one another

• Encourage participants, share vulnerably, answer questions, ask a question that draws out deeper things when it is helpful towards the groups continued growth.

• Be growing in your walk with the Lord and growth in applying God’s word to your own

suffering and struggles.

WHAT WE ARE ASKING YOU TO DO:

• Lead smaller portions of group time at the beginning and grow into leading an entire group time on your own

• Grow in asking good questions to draw out what God is doing, responding after people share, and incorporating scripture into group time to encourage.

• Do any administrative tasks the group needs like: sharing contact information, creating a group text, sending emails as requested by the head leader

• For those members that seem to be nervous, feeling uncomfortable in group, or have poor attendance: send encouraging texts/e-mail/phone calls

• Listen to what is going on and offer to pray for them as your primary response to their struggle, concerns, needs but be growing in speaking into the lives in such a way that point them to Christ.

• Participate in the group discussions when it's helpful to enhance the conversation

• When you are not leading group, be actively listening by asking the Lord to help you grow in hearing and understanding what people are sharing and looking for ways to help the main leader keep the group on point.

• Encourage the participants by listening to any struggles they are experiencing, helping them feel understood by repeating back what you hear them saying (making sure not to add anything to their story or compare it to yours), asking for specific prayer requests, praying for the participants via text or over the phone, and sending Scripture via text message when appropriate.

WHAT WE ARE NOT ASKING YOU TO DO:

• Give your opinion, advice, or share a similar story to relate to hard things they share with you.

• Answering any difficult questions that the participants have that you are not sure how to answer. Direct them to the primary Group Leader instead.

SHARED SHEPHERDING TASKS:

WHEN YOU HAVE TWO LEADERS

• Having two leaders increases the temptation to over-talk. If one leader isn’t talking, that doesn’t mean it’s the other leader’s turn. Remember, we want the participants to do 90% of the talking.

• Decide beforehand how you will share your leadership responsibilities. For instance:

o You may decide to take turns leading certain portions of the time.

o You may decide to have a “pilot/co-pilot” approach: The pilot leads the conversation while the co-pilot observes, takes notes, and interjects only when necessary.

§ The great opportunity for the co-pilot is to listen to the Holy Spirit as you assess how individuals are participating and how they are doing.

§ When this is being done, be sure to spend time debriefing, as the copilot will likely pick up on things that the pilot was unaware of.

• If one leader is more seasoned than the other, it is good to give opportunities for the “apprentice” to grow into the leadership role.

o You can start off leading small portions of the discussion (e.g. a prayer or an ice-breaker question) and gradually take on larger portions as the weeks go by.

o Use this time to continue growing by asking good questions to draw out what God is doing, responding after people share, and incorporating Scripture into group time to encourage.

Words to the Wise

YOUR OWN WALK WITH THE LORD

• Make sure you are doing the homework yourselves each week and working on your relationship with the Lord.

• Share the victories in your life. They need healthy models.

• Share the failures. They need models of authenticity, repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation.

• Remember that not all participants are believers. Be ready to share your story of grace and to articulate the gospel clearly and concisely. (See appendix for concise example.)

• If you are struggling in your own life, let leadership know.

DEVELOP A PLAN FOR THE EVENING

• Review and study the “Overview” section in the Group Leader Guide for the meeting.

• If there are two leaders, discuss who will lead each part of the evening and identify the key questions to cover.

CONVERSATION IN GROUP

• Our goal is that the group would be a place of intentional or purposeful conversations and encouragement versus a “support group” where people just share without a clear purpose except venting.

• The aim is for leaders to be talking 10% of the time by asking the questions, using good questions to draw out more after someone shares, thanking them for sharing or occasionally summarizing what you heard them say, using Scripture to encourage, and sharing vulnerably yourself to help get the discussion going in the right direction.

• The aim is for participants to all be actively participating by sharing and answering questions 90% of the time.

• Embrace uncomfortable silences. Your job is to help the conversation get going and stay going in the right direction, but not to teach.

• Share your answers and model vulnerability to the group when appropriate.

• Be prepared to use icebreaker questions for 2-4 weeks as you get to know one another

• Cover the group guidelines as many weeks as needed.

• Early in the group’s development be aware of when ‘fixing’ and ‘rescuing’ is going on in the group and gently redirect that sort of speaking in from participants to other participants. It needs to be a safe place to share.

• As the group matures, you can teach and model appropriate responses after people share. These include: Asking follow-up questions to draw out, summarizing what you heard them say, which helps them feel heard and understood, and sharing Scripture to encourage.

• Remember to control the direction of your group’s conversations.

AFTER SOMEONE SHARES

• When they share, thank them for sharing.

• Don’t act shocked, or immediately start giving advice, or they will stop sharing.

• Don’t allow for others to fix or rescue after someone shares. Instead, point them back to what the lesson says about Christ or Scripture.

ASK GOOD FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS

Proverbs 20:5

The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.

• “What feelings are surfacing as you talk/think about that?”

• “Where do you think God was/is in that?”

• “What does God’s Word say about that?”

• “What do you need to ask forgiveness for?”

• “What do you think God wants you to do?”

PEOPLE TO WATCH OUT FOR IN YOUR GROUP

• The excessive talker. Stay in control of your group. Those in the group are looking to you for leadership. Thank them for sharing and remind them that the group needs to hear from everyone. For example, “You have added a lot tonight. Let’s make sure we hear from everyone.” If needed, address the issue outside of the group time by affirming them, asking for their help and asking for permission to stop them if they talk too much in the future.

• The rambler. Don’t be afraid to cut someone off if they talk in circles or cannot keep it brief. One way is to stop them and paraphrase what you think they are saying and address that issue. If the problem persists, talk to them outside of the group and ask them to think through some of their answers ahead of time and how they could answer them succinctly.

• The mute. Address the issue outside of the group and see if there is a reason they might not be sharing (nervousness, shame, concern their spouse will get angry, etc.). Ask them if it would be OK for them to start the group time next week with one of the questions they feel comfortable answering.

• The surface-level talker. Some people will talk a lot, but won’t actually reveal much. Ask follow-up questions, why they think or feel these things, what the real issues are, etc.

• The interrupter. Ask them to let the other participant finish. If it is a pattern that you think is showing up, make sure to ask or address it.

• The venter. Most of the time you do not want to let people simply “vent.” If someone starts to share in an angry tone or becomes angry as they share, stop them and help them de-escalate by talking in a quiet tone. In extreme cases, take the venter outside the group to help them calm down. Remind them of a verse like Proverbs 15:1.

• The “me too” member. Don’t let someone continually share a similar story or somehow relate each issue to themselves. Identifying with someone is helpful occasionally, but reveals a focus on self if it happens continually.

In each of these cases, a good leader will address the issue immediately with the group or in private after group time is over. You can ask for their help and for permission to stop them if they go too long in the future. If issues aren’t severe, you can start the next week by stating, “Tonight, let’s make sure everyone gets a chance to share. So think about your answers ahead of time.” This lets the group know that you were aware of the issue and are addressing it.

BE PREPARED FOR SOMETHING SENSITIVE TO BE SHARED

• After someone shares could be the most important 30 seconds of their life.

• Thank them for sharing and ask how you can help.

• If they are emotionally distraught and lacking direction you can help them by o 1) reminding them of God’s love for them and o 2) remind them the group cares about them.

• Pray for them that night, with the group.

• Reach out to your Coach or Soul Care leadership if you need additional help.

• See “When A Crisis Hits” on the last page.

WHEN TO INVOLVE SOUL CARE LEADERSHIP

• We trust you and your ability to lead your group (2 Peter 1:3). You do not need to ask for permission or fill in leadership with every detail of your group.

• Feel free to ask for help or wisdom on a situation at any point. Leadership wants you to succeed and grow as a leader. You are not a hassle.

• Inform leadership when there has been physical abuse, marital separation, outbursts of anger, threats of suicide, or threat of physical, emotional, or spiritual injury

GROUP COMING TO AN END

• Begin talking at least 2 weeks out about what’s next for the group members as the group ends. Some may need ongoing care from Soul Care but some will be ready to go back into the main stream offerings of the church. Soul Care is a ‘rest stop’ at CCBC but not meant to stay at long term except for those that serve with us.

• Be knowledgeable about all Soul Care offerings including re|engage and care groups. Contact a Soul Care staff member if you need more help in this area.

• Your last night in group, make sure everyone fills out a survey. Surveys will be sent to participants as well as a leader server to the leader via e-mail. Take the first 5-10mins of group and have everyone fill it out on their phone.

• When the group is over, write a brief summary on each participant and email it to your Coach Tell us things like were they faithful in attendance, doing the work, sharing, growing in the understanding of the topic, stuck, do not seem to understand the gospel, would make a great leader, were able to talk about the Word of God in group appropriately, etc.

CHARACTERISTICS OF PEOPLE THAT CONTINUE TO GET WELL

• Christ: They experience a new spiritual vitality in their walk with the Lord

o John 15 – Abide in the Lord

o 1 Cor. 10:31 – Do everything for the glory of God

• Circle: They work relentlessly on themselves

• Commitment: They ruthlessly commit to their walk with the Lord.

• Community: They are known by others

Small Group Ground Rules

1. Successful small groups have a balance of each person getting to contribute and share without any one person dominating the group’s time and attention. So, don’t talk too little and don’t talk too much.

2. Avoid the temptation to try to fix one another. Safe and successful small groups are characterized by support rather than advice-giving. Trying to “fix” someone else is usually a sign that we don’t want to deal with our own stuff.

3. Share with honesty and authenticity. Sharing our struggles openly demonstrates our desire to pursue growth and freedom in Christ.

4. Do not romanticize your sin. It is tempting in group settings to compare struggles or take pride in things that grieve the heart of God. We do not celebrate sin; we celebrate repentance.

5. Scripture calls us to refrain from gossip. Please operate under the direction of God’s Word in the handling of information shared within the group. In order to provide a safe environment for your group, you must commit to NOT share information about one another outside the group, except in rare circumstances, such as:

o Potential harm to self or others

o Reports of abuse or potential abuse to a child, the disabled, or an elderly person

o *As leaders, we do sometimes share information with Soul Care Leadership and Mentors for our ongoing growth and health of the group and its members

6. In Thrive, each person should be allowed to share without interruptions. However, like most other successful conversations, others are free to contribute with comments or observations only to the extent that it is helpful for the person that is sharing. Counsel must be biblically rooted.

When Crisis Hits

Chances are, at some point during your time as a group leader, you will encounter an individual who is experiencing a “crisis.” A crisis can take many different forms, but here are some examples of what would be considered a crisis (this list is not exhaustive):

• Infidelity (both physical and emotional)

• Miscarriage/loss of a child/infertility

• Sudden job loss

• Significant financial difficulties

• Pornography or sharing about a struggle with same-sex attraction

• Abuse (verbal, emotional, physical, sexual) both in the past and the present

HELPFUL DO’S AND DON’TS

A crisis can be very effective in providing an opening to true community. It has been said that the one minute after someone shares intimate details about their life is quite possibly the most important one minute in the life of your group. Therefore, it is essential for the leaders to know how to navigate these situations very carefully.

DO: DO NOT:

Thank them for sharing

Encourage their authenticity and vulnerability

Affirm any negative emotions they may be experiencing in the midst of this crisis

Ask them how the group can best help (e.g. just listen, provide insight, etc.)

Share Scripture in the hope of encouraging them that God is with them (2 Cor. 12:8-10; Rom. 8; Ps. 23, 34:18; etc.)

Ask them what they believe would be the best “next step” given their circumstances

Ask them how the group can pray for them

Ask them how the group can help, as they continue going through this circumstance

Pray for them and the group

Follow up with the individual

Tell them to “get over it”

Tell them their issue is “not a big deal”

Tell them what they are feeling is “wrong”

Try to fix their problem right then and there

Allow everyone in the group to give their opinion as to how their crisis can be fixed and avoided in the future.

Allow someone else in the group to steal the spotlight by turning the attention on them.

Feel the need to give perfect answers and resolve all issues/tensions that night

Be harsh in your communication with the person

If a crisis is communicated to you privately, the “Do and Do not” listed above apply We would, however, add one more “do”: Encourage them to share their crisis with the group. In our experience, widening the circle of people who are aware of what is going on, allows for the best care and encouragement to be provided to the individual

The following is excerpted from JBC 36:2 (2022): pp. 25-56 “Foundations of Trauma Care for Biblical Counselors” by Darby Strickland, and may be useful for Thrive Mentors seeking to create a safe space for sharing.

Strive to be a humble and godly guide. A godly guide prepares as well as possible but trusts the Lord for the results. The key elements of this trust are humility and hope. Humility. As a counselor, you will be stretched and, at times, overwhelmed by the suffering you are hearing about, and you might wonder: “Am I doing everything I can? Is God at work? This all seems so slow. Can I really help this person heal?” I have had many moments of doubt in counseling these complex cases. God has helped me by making it abundantly clear that I am limited, but he is not. I can entrust my counselee to his care of them. This means I can depend upon him for what is ahead (Ps 34:17; Isa 40:31). I need to pray and depend on his guidance for my counseling and counselee. Without the Lord, we can do nothing (John 15:5). But Christ sent his helper, the Holy Spirit, to empower us (John 16:7). There are no easy solutions to trauma, but there is a God we can trust trauma with.

A good guide also remains a humble learner … But there is more to it than just acquiring information and counseling skills. The person you are working with is created in the image of God. Jesus’ love and care for his people is characterized by humility. He does not stand over his people but reaches out his hand tenderly, coming to the aid of the sick and broken (Matt 8:3, 14:14; Mark 1:31, 41). To do the same, we must put on the character of Christ. The attributes of kindness, humility, meekness, and patience are essential characteristics of both a trustworthy guide and a wise biblical counselor (Col 3:12).

Hope. It is in Christ that you and your counselee will find hope. But it is easy to get discouraged on a hard journey, and much of the current trauma literature doesn’t increase our hope. Recently, I read that the areas of the brain implicated in the stress response include the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. Traumatic stress can be associated with lasting changes in these brain areas.1 This is hard to read, and hard to be hopeful about. But no matter what wound trauma leaves on a person’s brain or elsewhere, a simple truth remains: Jesus and his redemptive work always have the most significant shaping influence on a person’s life. While this does not mean all the impacts of trauma will be resolved, we can be hopeful amid trauma. Trauma does not have to be the most significant influence on a person’s life. Even if it changes the brain, the most important factor in a sufferer’s story will always be Jesus.

You will at times be tempted to doubt this. You might think the trauma is too severe, or that this person’s faith will never flourish. But having hope means asking how they might live dependent upon Jesus, even while plagued with anxiety or other aftereffects of the trauma (Matt 11:28). While we explore how Jesus is reshaping them, even if it’s at an excruciatingly slow rate, we still believe and we lean into hope. Hope for what God can do changes our trajectory and our counsel (James 1:2–4, 12; 1 Peter 5:10; 2 Peter 1:3–4).

1 J. D. Bremner, “Traumatic stress: Effects on the brain,” Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience 8:4 (2022), 445–61, https://doi.org/10.31887/DCNS.2006.8.4/jbremner.

Responding to Difficult Disclosures in Group

EXAMPLES OF TYPICAL DISCLOSURES:

1. Grief and Loss – Sharing the pain of losing a loved one, whether through death, divorce, or estrangement.

2. Guilt or Regret – Confessing actions or mistakes they made in the past that still weigh heavily on them, like (non-violently) hurting someone, betraying trust, or making a decision that had negative consequences.

3. General Mental Health Struggles – Struggling with depression, anxiety, PTSD, or other conditions, and the impact it has had on their life and relationships.

4. Addiction – Sharing a history of substance abuse or other forms of addiction, and the challenges of recovery or the consequences of those behaviors.

5. Family Issues – Difficulties growing up in a dysfunctional family, including neglect, conflict, or feeling unloved or unsupported by parents or relatives.

6. Failure or Disappointment – Reflecting on a major personal failure or an unfulfilled goal, such as a failed relationship, business, or career, and the shame or disappointment that came with it.

7. Injustice or Discrimination – Sharing the pain of being treated unfairly because of race, gender, or any other aspect of their identity, leading to feelings of isolation, anger, or helplessness.

8. Fear of Judgment or Rejection – Opening up about the internal suffering of always feeling like they don’t measure up, live up to expectations, or are constantly fearful of being judged by others.

9. Loneliness or Isolation – Describing feelings of profound loneliness or being disconnected from others, even when surrounded by people, and the emotional toll it takes.

10. Regret Over Lost Opportunities – Reflecting on chances they feel they missed or the "what if" scenarios that haunt them because they didn't take certain opportunities when they had the chance.

11. Having Experienced an Eating Disorder – Talking about the years of suffering from an eating disorder like anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating, and the self-hatred and obsession that accompanied it.

12. Health Issues or Chronic Pain – Discussing chronic health conditions that severely impact their quality of life, such as diagnoses, illness, disability, or ongoing medical challenges.

13. Surviving a Severe Car Accident – Sharing the trauma and suffering from being involved in a life-changing car accident, either as a victim or the one who caused it, leading to physical disabilities, guilt, or emotional scars.

14. Surviving a Mass Shooting or Act of Terror – Sharing the trauma of being involved in or

witnessing a mass shooting or terrorist attack, where fear, loss of life, and horror leave scars.

HOW DO YOU RESPOND?

o “Thank you for sharing.”

o “I’m so sorry.”

o “I appreciate your openness/vulnerability.”

Then, ask the question or say the prompt again, pitched to the other group members.

EXAMPLES OF MORE SENSITIVE DISCLOSURES:

1. Carrying the Weight of an Unforgivable Action – Confessing to a mistake or choice so grave and irreversible (like causing someone’s death or ruining another person’s life) that the speaker believes it cannot ever be forgiven.

2. Abuse or Trauma – Experiencing or witnessing physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, and the long-term effects it has on their mental and emotional well-being.

3. Financial Struggles – Having experienced extreme financial hardship, including bankruptcy, homelessness, or making decisions out of desperation.

4. Affair or Infidelity – My partner or I have committed adultery with another person

5. Spouse’s Desire for Divorce/Separation – I am grieved and/or ashamed that my marriage is failing.

6. Same-Sex Attraction/Activity – Being secretly or openly attracted to someone of the same gender, or taking action on those feelings and participating in immoral sexual behavior.

7. Betrayal or Rejection – Sharing how they were betrayed by a close friend, family member, or romantic partner, or how it feels to have been rejected or abandoned.

8. Shame or Self-Worth Issues – Expressing deep feelings of shame about their perceived failures, and struggling with issues of identify or body image.

9. Self-Destructive Behavior – Describing a time when they engaged in self-harm, whether physically or emotionally, as a way of coping with pain or overwhelming emotions.

10. Witnessing Suicide – Revealing that they lost a loved one to suicide, and the torment of not knowing how to have prevented it.

11. The Death of a Child – Experiencing the unbearable loss of a child, either through miscarriage, stillbirth, or a child's untimely death (any age), and the grief that follows.

12. Having Aborted a Pregnancy – Opening up about the pain, guilt, or emotional complexity of having had an abortion (or pushed someone else into having an abortion), and dealing with long-lasting feelings of loss, regret, or shame.

13. Involvement in a Cult or Extreme Group – Revealing the manipulation, abuse, and mental control they endured while being part of a cult or extremist group, leading to profound isolation and confusion.

HOW DO YOU RESPOND?

o “Thank you for sharing.”

o “I’m so sorry.”

o “That sounds really difficult.” “That must be so hard to live with.”

o “I appreciate your openness/vulnerability.”

Then, ask the question or say the prompt again, pitched to the other group members.

EXAMPLES

OF DISCLOSURES THAT ARE POTENTIALLY INAPPROPRIATE OR UNSAFE FOR A PERSON TO SHARE IN GROUP:

1. Surviving a Violent Attack – Sharing the specific details of being physically assaulted, raped, or otherwise violently attacked, and the deep emotional/physical scars left by the experience.

2. Witnessing or Being a Victim of Domestic Violence – Painting a detailed picture of growing up or living in an abusive relationship where physical or emotional violence was a constant threat.

3. Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse by a Family Member – Recounting the deep trauma of being sexually abused by a trusted family member or relative, and the long-term emotional and psychological toll that abuse has taken.

4. Incest – Sharing attraction to members of their family, whether reciprocated or not.

5. Detailed Account of Sexual Immorality – Sharing too many details about the person, attraction or the act(s).

6. Unresolved Trauma from War – Sharing the emotional and psychological scars of surviving a war, whether as a soldier or a civilian, including PTSD, survivor's guilt, and memories of specific atrocities witnessed or committed.

7. Being Institutionalized or Involuntary Confinement – Sharing the suffering of being placed in a psychiatric institution, rehab center, or jail involuntarily, and the sense of powerlessness and despair from being locked away.

8. Being a Victim of Human Trafficking – Sharing the haunting and painful experience of being trafficked, exploited, and abused in ways that left them feeling completely dehumanized.

9. Surviving a Torture or Kidnapping Experience – Opening up about surviving being kidnapped, tortured, or held hostage, and the psychological scars from enduring unimaginable physical and emotional suffering.

10. Living Through Severe Mental Illness and Hallucinations – Struggling with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or severe depression where reality itself becomes distorted, and experiencing debilitating hallucinations or psychosis.

THERE ARE FEW REASONS WE WANT TO GUARD A PERSON FROM SHARING TOO MUCH IN A GROUP SETTING:

• Delicacy/Sensitivity of Group Members – Some individuals may not be prepared to hear certain graphic details or emotional content, leading to discomfort, avoidance, or inappropriate responses that can further harm the person sharing their experience.

• Risk of Retraumatization – Recounting the details of a traumatic event in a group setting could unintentionally retraumatize the person sharing the experience, particularly if the group is not prepared to provide the appropriate emotional containment.

• Triggering Other Members – The intensity of the sin/suffering shared may trigger painful memories for other group members who have experienced similar events. This could create distress in others which might disrupt the group's overall purpose.

• Privacy and Confidentiality Concerns – Even with ground rule in place, there is a risk that sensitive information could be shared outside the group. This might deter someone from opening up about their sin/suffering due to fears of judgment or gossip.

• Emotional Overload for Group Members – Hearing about deeply traumatic events can be overwhelming for other group members, potentially leading to emotional distress, empathy overload, or a lack of ability to provide helpful support to accomplish the purpose of the group for the remainder of the time.

• Group Balance – One person or story dominating group time can negatively influence how the rest of the group time unfolds. Others who may wish to share something of their own may feel belittled and/or misinterpreted in the context of a misbalanced group sharing time.

• Inappropriate Responses – Not everyone in a small group may have the emotional maturity or knowledge to respond to intense suffering appropriately. Well-meaning but uninformed comments can unintentionally invalidate or minimize the person’s experience.

• Lack of Follow-Up – Intense experiences often require ongoing support. A Thrive small group will not be able to provide the continued care or follow-up needed to help someone process one significant and specific issue while also moving through the remaining material for everyone else.

SO HOW DO YOU RESPOND?

1. Acknowledge their vulnerability.

o "I really appreciate your openness and willingness to share with us."

o "Thank you for trusting us with something so personal."

2. Redirect without invalidating.

o "I’m glad you're opening up, but let’s save some of the more specific details for a one-on-one conversation, like with your Mentor, where you can get more focused support."

o "We love you, and I’m so glad that you’re here."

3. Re-invigorate the rest of the group to participate.

o "Let’s make sure everyone has a chance to share their thoughts. I’d love to hear from others as well."

o "Let’s check in with the group and see how everyone else is feeling."

EXAMPLES OF DISCLOSURES WHERE YOU NEED TO ALERT

CHRIST CHAPEL STAFF IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING GROUP TIME:

1. Being a Perpetrator of Abuse – Confessing to having hurt someone in the past, whether physically, emotionally, or sexually.

• Especially if victim was a minor at the time

• Especially if elder abuse

• Especially if victim is mentally challenged

2. Committing a Violent Crime – Admitting to having committed a violent crime, such as assault, robbery, or even murder.

3. Stalking – If someone is being stalked, harassed, or threatened by another individual.

4. Drug Trafficking or Distribution – If an individual is involved in or has knowledge of drug trafficking, manufacturing, or distribution.

5. Kidnapping/Abduction or Human Trafficking – If someone is kidnapped or unlawfully detained against their will, or if someone suspects or has evidence of sexual exploitation or forced labor.

6. Terroristic Threats or Acts – Any credible threats of terrorism or acts that threaten public safety, such as bomb threats, active shooter situations, or threats against national security.

7. Unlawful Distribution of Child Exploitation Material – An individual is in possession of, distributing, or has knowledge of child pornography or exploitation materials.

HOW DO YOU RESPOND?

1. Acknowledge their vulnerability.

o “Thank you for sharing.”

o “I’m so sorry to hear this.”

2. Redirect without invalidating.

o "I’m glad you're opening up in group, but let’s follow up outside of group so you can get more focused support."

o "We love you, and I’m so glad that you’re here."

3. Then, move on to another question/prompt, pitched to the other group members. Many of the above disclosures need to be reported to law enforcement as they involve serious criminal violations.

After the meeting, work with the nearest CCBC staff member to take next steps. If at all possible, please do not take this on without staff support or intervention.

Responding

EXAMPLES OF DISCLOSURES RELATED TO IMMINENT SAFETY:

If anything from the previous section is talked about in such a way that any person in the group (the one disclosing, or any others) is at risk of physical harm during or immediately following group time, the Group Leader should immediately dismiss the other group members and stay with the person(s) who disclosed the threat of harm, looping in both the nearest CCBC staff member and CCBC Security personnel.

The following are additional, very extreme examples to consider:

1. Imminent Threat of Suicide/Terror - An individual is actively planning or has a clear intention to harm themselves/others now or tonight.

Self-harm examples:

• They have a gun on them or in their car and have disclosed a plan to hurt themselves and/or others soon.

• They have medication in their pocket or in the car and intend on taking it to end their life tonight.

Both examples pose an imminent risk to the person, as well as have the potential to harm others who may be around them.

2. Medical Emergency – If someone in the group experiences a medical emergency, such as a seizure, severe allergic reaction, or fainting

3. Substance Use Impairment – If a participant is visibly intoxicated or under the influence of drugs or alcohol, which could impair their judgment and pose a safety risk.

• Consider having the co-leader walk this person out of the meeting space rather than dismissing the others from the group.

HOW DO YOU RESPOND?

1. Suggest a pause or transition

o "I think it’s a good time for us to take a short break and regroup."

o "Let’s switch gears a bit to ensure we’re all feeling comfortable and safe in the conversation."

2. Call for help

o 911

o CCBC Security: 817-308-4686

o CCBC Staff Member

3. Dismiss the group (if this is what’s needed/appropriate).

4. Pray.

L i s t e n i n g W e l l

PITFALLS TO GOOD LISTENING:

1. Fixing – Advice-giving; a form of moralism. (Example: Someone shares that they have a really hard time setting aside time in the morning to pray. You suggest they get a better alarm clock or read a certain devotional.)

2. Rescuing – A well-intentioned attempt to help people feel better about themselves or their circumstances. (Examples: “It could be worse,” “It will get better,” “Look how God’s blessed you,” etc.)

3. Hijacking – Inadvertently using common experiences (“me too”) that turn the focus away from the person sharing.

4. Interrogating – Firing off a bunch of questions.

5. Teaching – Sabotaging a healthy conversation by taking on the role of information disseminator

6. Judging – Showing the error of their ways; typically from a mightier vantage point.

LISTENING WELL INVOLVES:

1. Being slow to answer/give a response.

2. Asking open-ended questions that encourage more elaboration.

3. Slowing down your responses

4. Knowing the Word of God and prayerfully listening to His Spirit (Proverbs 1:7 – to understand man, one must begin with the knowledge of God.)

5. Listening for the heart issue. (What’s going on under the surface.)

a. What is this person hoping in, trusting in?

b. What do they fear, value, worship?

HOW LONG DO YOU LISTEN BEFORE PROVIDING ANSWERS? LONGER WHEN:

• The person knows the answer but needs more support than information.

• You know the answer will be hard to hear.

• You don’t know the person well.

• You aren’t sure what the person really wants from you.

SHORTER WHEN:

• The person is sinning by the very conversation (i.e. gossip or slander)

• The person’s excessive talkativeness is a clear avoidance of an important issue.

• There is an often repeated “survey” of the same “ground.”

Orientation

OPTIONAL OPEN GROUPS 1-3

Overview and Expectations

Orientation: Week 1 (Open Group)

OVERVIEW

Session Goal:

Introduce participants to what a Thrive night might look like, and to the fruit-root relationship. We want potential participants to realize that the thoughts and motives they are rooted in are what drive their pattens, and ultimately produce fruit/behaviors.

Small Group Helps:

Remember that we don’t anticipate everyone will be eager to contribute to the conversation in group. As you ask questions, feel free to move quicker than in a closed group setting where you’ll want them to sit in the discomfort of an unanswered question.

Large Group Info:

Tonight, we will be sharing the basic expectations of Thrive and giving an overview of the entire process. We will also teach about the fruit-root connection using Jeremiah 17:5-8. (Next week we will get into the role of the heart.)

WHEN YOU MEET PRAYER (5 MINUTES)

Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ASK AND LISTEN (25 MINUTES)

Tonight, we talked about what Thrive is and what would be required.

1. Have you ever experienced anything like this before?

2. Who can name the five components of Thrive that we learned about? (Bible Study, Assessments, Mentoring, Large Group Teaching, Small Group Community)

3. Do you have any questions about any of these components?

4. Have someone read Luke 6:43-45 aloud.

“For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, 44for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. 45The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

5. Name some “fruits” we see today that are similar to the ones Jesus is talking about in this passage.

For instance: judging and condemning others versus giving to and forgiving an enemy.

6. Is it possible to “bear good fruit” if you appear more like a thornbush/bramblebush? Why or why not?

7. In what ways have you attempted to look “good” on the outside

8. If you were to honestly label the “fruit/behaviors” in the tree diagram as they pertain to yourself, what words come to mind? (This could be words others have used to describe you, or ways in which you have self-identified behaviors you’d like to change.)

9. What patterns have you attempted to change to alter your behavior? (past or present) Why would you say that is not working?

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (5 MINUTES)

Thank everyone for responding. Remember that not everyone will feel comfortable to share this openly the first time they attend an open group orientation experience. You are simply providing a taste for the types of questions they might interact with in their closed group after they commit and are accepted into the program.

PRAY (5 MINUTES)

Close the group in prayer, particularly emphasizing the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Discipleship : Aimed at the Heart

Orientation: Week 2 (Open Group)

OVERVIEW

Session Goal:

Introduce potential participants to what a Thrive night might look like, and think about the relationship the heart has to our words and actions/reactions

Small Group Helps:

Large Group Info:

Tonight, we will teach about the heart using Jeremiah 17:9-10. The focus will be on the Word of God treating the sickness of the heart, rather than the secular process of coping with symptoms. (Next week we will talk about the redemptive community of the local church.)

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER (5 MINUTES)

Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ASK AND LISTEN (25 MINUTES)

Tonight, we heard more about Thrive, but the teaching spent more time on the role of the heart in influencing our words, actions and reactions

1. What did you think about the teaching?

2. What’s the strongest emotion you’ve had this week? What did you say in your head?

3. Explain the differences between thoughts, feelings, and actions.

4. Do you think it’s possible that these three things can work together to change us?

How so (or why not)?

5. After hearing the teaching tonight, what would you say you are worshipping a lot lately?

6. How have you attempted to change in the past?

7. Describe the different counsel you have received over the years.

8. How have you attempted to control how you feel rather than trust in God?

9. If someone were to “shake your water bottle” right now, what would come out? Why?

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (5 MINUTES)

Jeremiah 17:9-10

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? 10“I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”

PRAY (5 MINUTES)

Close the group in prayer, particularly emphasizing the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Redemptive Community

Orientation: Week 3 (Open Group)

OVERVIEW

Session Goal:

Provide a final chance for potential participants to commit to Thrive this semester and share about the version of community we want them to experience.

Small Group Helps:

Large Group Info:

Tonight, we will teach about several aspects of biblical community.

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER (5 MINUTES)

Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ASK AND LISTEN (15 MINUTES)

Tonight, we heard about several aspects of biblical community.

1. Which aspect stood out to you, and why?

2. Which of the elements of a redemptive community do you struggle to reflect?

3. How might the church hinder those seeking help from coming to Christ? (For an example, see Matthew 19:14)

4. Using the language from the teaching, describe the failures of the communities you have been involved in historically (programs, groups, churches, families, etc.)?

5. Is there any part of what Jesus is teaching on community that you are reluctant to enter into? If so, please explain.

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (5 MINUTES)

Thank everyone for responding, and especially those who were willing to share any hurts and past experiences that were difficult in community. It is vulnerable for them to share that in a different community group.

ADMINISTRATION (10 MINUTES)

Q&A:

Offer to help answer any questions your open group participants have about Thrive.

PARTICIPANT COMMITMENT:

Before your open group participants leave, please review the Participant Commitment with them. You and they will need to sign the copy in their materials if they are serious about committing to Thrive this semester.

Following this commitment that you walk them through, they will need to complete the commitment electronically, which includes paying for their Thrive materials. We advise everyone to do this before they leave campus so that any questions can be answered and that any situations regarding the process are fully resolved before people go home. The chances of a person committing and remembering in time are slim as soon as they exit.

PRAY (5 MINUTES)

Close the group in prayer, particularly emphasizing the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Groups Begin INTRODUCTORY MEETING

Introductory Closed Group Meeting

Meeting #1 (First Closed Group Meeting)

OVERVIEW

Session Goal:

Lead participants in getting to know one another and understand the diversity of backgrounds that have led them to this discipleship process.

Small Group Helps:

Prayerfully Prepare:

o Pray for the people who will be joining the group. Ask the Holy Spirit to move them into a posture of humility and openness to God’s work through Thrive.

o Answer the small group questions yourself so you can lead others in the discussion. Taking time to plan for your group session will help orient your heart before the Lord and understand what participants study during the week.

o Prepare your testimony. You will be given 5 to 10 minutes to share your testimony. We encourage you to work hard on this because you will be setting the tone for the kind of sharing, and the length of time it takes to effectively share.

As They Share: It is best to let people answer coming from “where they are”. It’s good to remember that we are all awkward and come across a little sideways when we are uncomfortable. (We are not jumping in with feedback or questions this early on the group.) Simply thank them for sharing.

Note about sharing: DO NOT let anyone begin sharing their full testimony or the story they prepared to share for Thrive as that is meant for their first Mentor meeting. You will not have enough time to do this type of sharing in group! If you allow one person to do this, even innocently, it will feel unfair if the rest of the group isn’t permitted to follow suit. Make sure you state the purpose of questions that may accidentally elude to a storytelling prompt.

Large Group Info:

• Groups meet after participants have listened to the teaching. Small groups provide a place for members to process what they have heard. Leaders should also have listened to the teaching, or if in a group setting, be with their group during teaching.

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER AND ICEBREAKER (5 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

BREAK THE ICE:

Have everyone share their name and answer an ice-breaker question. Suggestions:

• Favorite ice cream

• Favorite board game to play

• Favorite sport to watch

• Worst playground injury

• If you had to present a 20 min. speech with no prep- what would the subject be?

ADMINISTRATION AND ACCOUNTABILITY

(10 MINUTES)

ADMINISTRATION:

ü Pass around attendance sheet (explain the columns)

ü Let the group know that any children must be picked up by 8:30 p.m.

ü FYI: Group leaders have a “leaders check-in” after small group (at 8:30 p.m.) – share this if you think it will help them know there’s a purpose to ending on time.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

ü Read small group ground rules (consider having each person take turns reading aloud): The following characteristics will contribute to a safe and successful Thrive small group experience.

3. Share with honesty and authenticity. Sharing our struggles openly demonstrates our desire to pursue growth and freedom in Christ.

4. Do not romanticize your sin. It is tempting in group settings to compare struggles or take pride in things that grieve the heart of God. We do not celebrate sin; we celebrate repentance.

o Potential harm to self or others

o Reports of abuse or potential abuse to a child, the disabled, or an elderly person

o *As leaders, we do sometimes share information with Soul Care Leadership and Mentors for our ongoing growth and health of the group and its members

HOMEWORK AND FUTURE ACCOUNTABILITY (15 MINUTES)

ü Look at the homework (Bible studies and mentor prep work) for this week

ü Share the overview schedule for the semester, noting anything exceptional on your calendar. Have participants refer to their calendars and ask any questions.

ü Discuss daily homework rhythm, and answer any questions participants may have.

ü Explain next week’s accountability for homework and how that will be a part of the weekly group time.

ü Communicate that if anyone has further questions about any part of the program, you are available to help after the session.

LEADER TESTIMONY (10 MINUTES, TOTAL)

Group Leader (and if applicable, also Apprentice Leader): share a 5 to 7-minute testimony focusing on any suffering or sin you have experienced and God’s redemption in these areas. Be vulnerable to help create a safe place for others to share.

Foster gospel-centered community through diversity. There is diversity in terms of backgrounds and even degree of struggles. All people, being created in the image of God, matter to God. He sees and understands your unique story.

ASK AND LISTEN (10 MINUTES)

Ask a few members who are willing to share:

1. How did you hear about Thrive? What led you to commit?

2. Have you ever experienced the type of community that we’re talking about having here in Thrive (and in this small group)? What would you say sets it apart from other forms of community?

3. What fears or concerns do you have about the Thrive process or about being in a group like this?

4. Why are you here, and what do you hope to get out of this semester? (Remember, this is not a prompt to tell long stories!)

Give everyone a clear time frame to do this within. You will have the bulk of the time next week to complete this so everyone can have a good amount of time.

ü Remind them that next week some of these questions will repeat in order to give a chance for everyone to answer.

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (5 MINUTES)

• Assure participants that you are there for them

• Their presence speaks volumes about the value they are placing on spiritual growth.

• Encourage the group to be faithful to do the work by meeting with mentor, completing homework and seeking the Lord.

• Encourage them not just to check these off their to-do lists but to really seek the Lord. For the Mentor Prep questions, a right answer is an honest answer, not necessarily a theological correct answer.

• Share a meaningful Scripture, such as …

2 Peter 1:3-11

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, 4by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. 5For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, 6and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, 7and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 8For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

9For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.

10Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall.

11For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

PRAY: COVER WITH THE GOSPEL (5 MINUTES)

Close the group in prayer, particularly emphasizing the gospel of Jesus Christ.

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Contact those participants who may not have shown up for the first week.

Understanding God WEEKS

1-4

The Beginning : Creation and Fall Meeting #2 (Covering Week 1 Homework)

OVERVIEW

ROMANS 5:12

Just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned.

Truth from Week 1:

Man, in relationship to his Creator, has fallen from a place of dignity, humility and dependence to a state of depravity, pride and rebellion. This has led to unfathomable suffering. Any attempts on our own to redeem ourselves are futile, only increasing the problem of independence and self-sufficiency. Any perceived success leads only to empty vanity. Apart from Christ, we admitted we are powerless to overcome sin (ours and others) and our attempts to control it only increase our chaos.

Session Goal:

The goal of this session is to lead participants in sharing where they are in terms of their relationship with God and a summary of the story behind how they got there.

Small Group Helps:

Prayerfully Prepare: Taking time to plan for your group session will help orient your heart before the Lord and understand what participants study during the week. Spend time in the scriptures, taking note of important truths. Answer the small group questions yourself so you can lead others in the discussion. This way God’s Word will be fresh on your heart, providing the truth necessary to keep the session on track.

As They Share: It is best to let people answer coming from “where they are”. It’s good to remember that we are all awkward & come across a little sideways when we are uncomfortable. (We are not jumping in with feedback or questions this early on the group.) Simply thank them for sharing.

Large Group Info:

• Large Group Teaching: Creation and Fall (Video Session 1) Video length = 36 min

WHERE THEY’RE COMING FROM

THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES

• Day 1: Genesis 1:1-2:3

• Day 2: Genesis 2:4-25

• Day 3: Genesis 2:18-25; Matthew 19:1-10; 1 Corinthians 7:10-11; Ephesians 5:22-33

• Day 4: Genesis 3: 1-24

• Day 5: Genesis 3:7-24

• Day 6: Genesis 4:1-16

WHAT’S BEING DISCUSSED WITH THE MENTORS

• Day one introduces us to a creation that was initially empty, dark and disordered. To what degree do these describe your life? If they don’t, what words would describe your life?

• We were also introduced to our Creator, who by His Word, brought order, life and light to His creation. Do you believe that He is doing the same among us? Why or why not?

• We believe evidence of God’s love, pursuit of and plan for you is why you are sitting under God’s Word in this study. How is your heart responding to that pursuit? Are you listening and receiving or rejecting?

• According to the creation account, a functional human being is to live in a loving, dependent relationship with his Creator. In what ways have you looked to the creation rather than the Creator for care, direction, protection, provision, power, satisfaction, comfort, security, stability, hope, happiness, purpose, identity, meaning and value?

• Describe your current suffering. How are you responding?

• God created us to be in loving relationships with Himself and others. Describe your close community and friends. Do you reach out to others when you need help? Why or why not? Where do they point you for hope?

• In what ways do you disregard God’s voice and follow another voice in pursuit of your own desires?

• What are the “fig leaves” in your life ways you have tried to remedy the problem of sin with external solutions (religious activity, performance, possessions, power, personality, people, posterity, positions, etc.)?

• How have you attempted to justify yourself (value, worth, etc.) before God and others?

• Our self-reliant attempts to manage our sin or to control the sin of others reveals that we believe we are powerful enough to fix the problem. Understanding the magnitude of the problem helps us to see it is beyond us. Have you admitted that you are powerless and defeated apart from Christ? Do your actions reflect this? How so?

• As we examine our lives through the lens of scripture, it helps us to see what is most true. In light of what we have covered this week, what prayer would you like to offer to God about where you are at?

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ADMINISTRATION (10 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Open in prayer. Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

ü Reminder of small group ground rules (consider having each person take turns reading aloud):

The following characteristics will contribute to a safe and successful Thrive small group experience.

3. Share with honesty and authenticity. Sharing our struggles openly demonstrates our desire to pursue growth and freedom in Christ.

4. Do not romanticize your sin. It is tempting in group settings to compare struggles or take pride in things that grieve the heart of God. We do not celebrate sin; we celebrate repentance.

o Potential harm to self or others

o Reports of abuse or potential abuse to a child, the disabled, or an elderly person

o *As leaders, we do sometimes share information with Soul Care Leadership and Mentors for our ongoing growth and health of the group and its members

ü Did participants complete weekly homework, meet with their mentor, listen to teaching and attend small groups?

REVIEW, ASK AND LISTEN (30 MINUTES)

Offer help: Communicate that if anyone is struggling with any part of the program, you are available to help after the session.

Foster gospel-centered community through authenticity. God is merciful. He welcomes those who come humbly and honestly seeking help. He receives the weak, the wounded, the strayed, the lost, the addicted, the afflicted, the abused and the confused. It is okay to not be okay. Adam and Eve were honest, while Cain covered his sin.

QUESTIONS FOR SMALL GROUP:

1. What was your biggest takeaway from your time in the Word and with your mentor this week?

2. Where are you in terms of your relationships with God and others? Are they rich, vibrant and fruitful or lacking? Are you angry, confused, full of doubt, skeptical, hopeless, afraid or distrusting?

3. Summarize the story behind what got you here. (Reminder, this is not an invitation to share a detailed story.)

4. How would you describe your relationship with God in the midst of these circumstances? Does it exist? Is it vibrant and fruitful or lacking? Are you confused, skeptical, struggling, with doubt, hopeless, angry, afraid, or distrusting? (Where are you with God in this struggle?)

Encourage those who didn’t share: We will give you a chance to share next week before moving on. (Remember, we are not giving platforms for long-form storytelling in groups. Mentors will have the opportunity to continue to learn about the participant’s past through their time together each week.) FYI: Questions will start to get more targeted and will move us toward change.

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (10 MINUTES)

Use this time to encourage the group, assuring participants that you are for them. This week encourage members of your group by communicating that their presence speaks volumes about the value they are placing on their spiritual growth

Speak redemptively: It is important for those we disciple to see their problems biblically so that we can bring the hope of the gospel to their specific needs. You might feel tempted to think you have to have all the answers immediately. Keep your reflections for future sessions and for prayer. Introduce participants to scriptures that speak to their circumstances. Remind them of the promises and character of God.

Emphasize the hope of the gospel from this session’s teaching

• Genesis 3:15 – God’s promise of a redeemer was fulfilled in Jesus Christ.

• Genesis 1 – God brings light to the darkness, life to our emptiness and order to our chaos.

Other Scriptures to encourage the group: (optional)

• 1 John 1:6-7

• Psalm 139: 1-6, 15-17, 23-24

• Psalm 27: 5,9

Truth From Week 1: Man, in relationship to his Creator, has fallen from a place of dignity, humility and dependence to a state of depravity, pride and rebellion. This has led to unfathomable suffering. Any attempts on our own to redeem ourselves are futile, only increasing the problem of independence and self-sufficiency. Any perceived success leads only to empty vanity. Apart from Christ, we admitted we are powerless to overcome sin (ours and others), and our attempts to control it only increase our chaos.

Exhort: Encourage the group to be faithful to do the work by meeting with their mentors and completing the homework for the week. Encourage them not just to check these off their todo lists but to really seek the Lord.

Encourage: Spend time talking about the commitment, reminding them the enemy makes it hard to come. When they show up it’s a big deal. Tell them how much you are committed to them.

Address Comparisons in an encouraging way. Normalize it but speak into it. How to handle comparisons between stories, especially with age gaps and different experiences:

• Name the elephant: Encourage that it’s tempting for all of us.

• “God has unique plans for me and ways that I need to participate in this group. He ordained this season for me to be here.”

• “Comparison distracts and robs me of what God has for me in this group and season.”

• Comparison in this way can feel hurtful to others

RESPOND (5 MINUTES)

Ideally, leave a few minutes at the end of each session for the group to interact as the Holy Spirit moves. This is an opportunity for members to share something the Spirit is impressing on them, like a confession, a word of encouragement or a verse.

PRAY: COVER WITH THE GOSPEL (5 MINUTES)

As participants are transparent and bare their souls, it is important that we cover them with the gospel in prayer as we conclude.

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Contact those participants who did not show up to group

o Reach out to half of the participants to encourage them in the commitment they have made and pray with them.

o Get to know the participant’s names and what brought them to Thrive. Ask yourself questions about each participant:

o Where is this person spiritually?

o What areas need healing?

o Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

o What sinful patterns or strongholds did you discern?

o How could you encourage this person?

o What Scriptures speak to their situation?

REFLECTION

A prayerful time of reflection will help lead you to speak redemptively into the lives of group members. This is an ideal time for discipleship and collaboration as the leader pours into the apprentice leader(s) and then prays alongside them for participants.

SEEING THROUGH GOD’S EYES

Ask the Lord to help you see each participant through His eyes and speak redemptively into the group. The following questions are meant to guide you, but don’t feel that you need to answer every question every week or let them limit ways the Lord might speak.

• Where is the group as a whole?

• Is there anything that you need to take note of regarding individual members?

• Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

• How could you encourage the group or individual members?

• What scriptures speak to the situation?

• Are there specific group guidelines or group dynamics that would be good to reiterate?

PRAY FOR GROUP AND MEMBERS

o Join with your apprentice(s) in asking the Lord to move in the hearts and lives of group members and watch for Him to move.

The Remedy : The Gospe l

Meeting #3 (Covering Week 2 Homework)

OVERVIEW

MATTHEW 7:13–14

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”

Truth From Week 2:

God lovingly intervened into our chaos and provided a remedy for the insanity of sin and the way back into fellowship with Him. We believe that by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, we can be redeemed.

Session Goal:

The goal of this session is to lead participants to understand their own insanity cycle (counterfeit redemption) and display true hope for redemption in Jesus Christ. Jesus is the wisdom of God and the power of God unto salvation. We are a slave to sin until we are found in Him.

Small Group Helps:

o Prayerfully Prepare: Spend time in the scriptures taking note of important truths. Answer the small group questions yourself so you can lead others in the discussion.

o Plan to Speak Redemptively: It is important for those we disciple to see their problems biblically so that we can bring the hope of the gospel to their specific needs. You might feel tempted to think you have to have all the answers. Allow the process to unfold. Remind participants of the promises and character of God.

o Review FAQ for Group Leaders

o This week it is best to allow them the space to “sit in the mess” and the reality that their head knowledge doesn’t connect to their hearts. Don’t try to hand them answers or rush them to where they are going or what comes next in the curriculum. This is a good reminder to share with your participants before delving into the questions.

o Review the Insanity Cycle diagram in the Appendix along with any training/notes you have.

Large Group Info:

• Large Group Teaching: “The Remedy: The Gospel” (Video Session 2) Video length = 33:28 min (longer video)

• We will be introducing the “Insanity Cycle” of sin/addiction. Review this diagram in Appendix

WHERE THEY’RE COMING FROM THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES

• Day 1: Deuteronomy 5:1–22; Matthew 5:17–48

• Day 2: Genesis 6:5–22; Romans 1:18–2:3

• Day 3: Isaiah 52:13–53:12; 54–55

• Day 4: John 1:1–18

• Day 5: John 8:3–12

• Day 6: Acts 17:16–34

WHAT’S BEING DISCUSSED WITH MENTORS

• If your heart wants to follow God’s perfect law but it ends up disobeying God, how heavy does this feel to you?

• Judgment and hell are unpleasant realities we tend to avoid and dismiss. How do these realities add weight to our sin? How does this help us see the love of God in what Jesus suffered for us? What is happening in your heart?

• In what ways do you suppress the truth or live in denial? See Romans 1:18.

• How do you relate to the law? In your sinful nature, are you fairly moral with a tendency to look down on others who are not as good or do you tend to disregard it?

• If the antidote to unrighteousness is not self-righteousness, what is it?

• What about Christ and the gospel did you find beautiful this week?

• In the past, to what or whom did you look to satisfy your thirst (Isaiah 55:1–2)? In what or in whom did you place your trust?

Extra Opportunity: Concept of God worksheet (Appendix B)

• Scripture is clear: We must make a decision about our belief in Jesus. What is our reality if we do nothing and ignore the call of God?

• How have you responded to the invitation to trust in the suffering servant, the one who has come to save the world?

• In Acts 17:22-23, Paul says the men of Athens are very religious. Their practices (whether in the religious centers or in the marketplace) point to what they worship and live for. What do the practices of your life reveal about what you worship and serve?

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ADMINISTRATION (10 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Open in prayer. Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

ü Remind of group guidelines that may have previously been crossed.

ü Did participants complete weekly homework, meet with their mentor, listen to teaching and attend small groups?

REVIEW, ASK AND LISTEN (30 MINUTES)

Offer help: Communicate that if anyone is struggling with any part of the program, you are available to help after the session.

Foster gospel-centered community through truth. We want to receive but not mislead people to counterfeit solutions that do not address our deepest troubles. The truth will set us free. This means we have to swallow difficult truths about ourselves and our inability to fix the problem. In this we can look to Him. We can’t, but God can! The gospel is superior in finding freedom from the otherwise enslaving interplay of sin and suffering. All other solutions can only provide temporary, symptomatic relief.

If needed, remind participants that everyone gets to have their ‘moment’ after sharing and we don’t want to speak or rob from it in any way. Encourage them to focus on the unique things God is having each person work on in this season.

QUESTIONS FOR SMALL GROUP:

Remember to specially make room for those who did not share last week to speak tonight.

1. What was your biggest takeaway from your time in the Word and with your mentor this week?

2. Has anyone felt restless or discontent this week?

(This might allow you to re-describe and personalize the “insanity cycle” using a real example. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result).

3. Our insanity cycle and related practices reveal our disordered worship. What is it that you are living for or worshiping? Suggestion: Read Ephesians 2:1-3. Be willing to go first with examples of wrong worship from your own life.

4. Describe how Jesus has revealed to you personally that He alone is worthy of your worship and of the reordering of your heart around Him.

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (10 MINUTES)

Talk about the commitment, reminding them the enemy, (particularly the struggle with the flesh) makes it hard to come. When they show up it’s a big deal. Tell them how much you are committed to them.

Speak redemptively: Emphasize the hope of the gospel from this session’s teaching.

Redemption is freedom purchased through a ransom paid by a redeemer on behalf of the enslaved. Christ purchased our freedom from the bondage of sin by giving His life as a ransom. Jesus, the Word, became flesh and dwelt among us, brought light to the darkness, life to what is empty and order to our disordered hearts. The gospel is the historical narrative of the triune God orchestrating the reconciliation and redemption of a broken creation and fallen creatures from Satan, sin, and its effects to the Father and one another through the life, death, resurrection and future return of the Son by the power of the Spirit for God’s glory and the church’s joy. We can’t, but God can!

Truth From Week 2: God lovingly intervened in our chaos and provided a remedy for the insanity of sin and the way back into fellowship with Him. We believe that by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, we can be redeemed.

Possible Scriptures to use to encourage:

• John 3:17

• Ephesians 2:4-9

• Titus 2:11-14

RESPOND (5 MINUTES)

PRAY: COVER WITH THE GOSPEL (5 MINUTES)

As participants are transparent and bare their souls, it is important that we cover them with the gospel in prayer as we conclude.

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Reach out to mentors and check in with them.

o Pray with them for participants and ask if they have any questions.

o Remind them of their importance as mentors.

o Reach out to the other ½ of the participants to encourage them in the commitment they have made and pray with them.

o Get to know the participant’s names and what brought them to Thrive. Ask yourself questions about each participant:

o Where is this person spiritually?

o What areas need healing?

o Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

o What sinful patterns or strongholds did you discern?

o How could you encourage this person?

o What Scriptures speak to their situation?

o Apprentice leaders: begin planning a social for around week 4. (Ideas for socials: order pizza before the group meets, meet for breakfast on a Saturday, etc. – Please no happy hours, or restaurants that push alcohol. You do not yet know the struggles hiding under the surface of each individual.)

REFLECTION

SEEING THROUGH GOD’S EYES

• Where is the group as a whole?

• Is there anything that you need to take note of regarding individual members?

• Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

• How could you encourage the group or individual members?

• What scriptures speak to the situation?

• Are there specific group guidelines or group dynamics that would be good to reiterate?

PRAY FOR GROUP AND MEMBERS

o Join with your apprentice(s) in asking the Lord to move in the hearts and lives of group members and watch for Him to move.

The Response : Faith and Repentance

Meeting #4 (Covering Week 3 Homework)

OVERVIEW

MARK 1:14-15

Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.”

Truth From Week 3:

Through the Holy Spirit’s illumination of our desperate and helpless condition before God and the hope that comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ, we step out in faith and repent as an act of worship and obedience, surrendering our will and entrusting our lives to Christ’s care and control. We are reborn spiritually and rescued from the domain of darkness and brought into the kingdom of light, where we now live as a part of Christ’s ever advancing kingdom.

Session Goal:

The goal of this session is to lead participants in evaluating their own response to the gospel and to foster genuine repentance. This is not just a one-time event, but an ongoing ethic that is evidence of God’s grace in the life of the believer. Repentance leads to gratitude, obedience, surrender and practices that revolve around worship of Him.

Small Group Helps:

o Prayerfully Prepare: Taking time to plan for your group session will help orient your heart before the Lord and understand what participants study during the week. Spend time in the scriptures, taking note of important truths. Answer the small group questions yourself so you can lead others in the discussion. This way God’s Word will be fresh on your heart, providing the truth necessary to keep the session on track.

o Come to group time with 2-3 examples of repentance from your own life to help group members understand what we mean when we use that word.

o Think through how you would connect the “insanity cycle” from last week (with a specific sin cycle for them) to this week’s idea of repentance.

ü You might feel tempted to think you have to have all the answers. Allow the process to unfold. Introduce participants to scriptures that speak to their circumstances. Remind them of the promises and character of God.

ü As They Share: It is best to let people answer coming from “where they are.” It’s good to remember that we are all awkward and come across a little sideways when we are

uncomfortable. (We are not jumping in with feedback or questions this early on the group.) Simply thank them for sharing.

Large Group Info:

• Large Group Teaching: “The Response: Repentance” (Video Session 3) Video length = 29:49 min

• Covering Godly Repentance vs. Worldly Sorrow

WHERE THEY’RE COMING FROM THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES

• Day 1: James 2:14-26

• Day 2: Isaiah 6:1-13

• Day 3: John 3:16-21

• Day 4: Luke 15

• Day 5: John 14:15-31

• Day 6: 2 Corinthians 3:1-4:6

WHAT’S BEING DISCUSSED WITH MENTORS

• If you have received the gift of faith, how has that led to a heartfelt desire to be obedient to God?

• Describe any experiences where God’s presence and power humbled you.

• Describe how the reality of God’s love has affected your life?

• What of God’s character have you come to know as you have walked with Him?

• To whom or to what do you point for your justification? Or to put it another way, how do you attempt to justify yourself to others?

• What is your attitude toward God?

• What is your view of mankind?

• Define repentance. What has been your response to the call to repent? Why?

• What evidence of spiritual rebirth do you see in your life?

• Have you responded to the gospel in faith by repenting of your sins and trusting in the finished work of Christ? Have you accepted His invitation to follow Him, forsaking all others? If yes, describe the process. If no, why?

• Scripture gives us a lens to see where we stand before God. We cannot have right standing through our works. We can only have right standing surrendered to Christ. What honest prayer do you need to offer up to God?

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ADMINISTRATION (10 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Open in prayer. Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

ü Remind of group guidelines that may have previously been crossed.

ü Did participants complete weekly homework, meet with their mentor, listen to teaching and attend small groups?

REVIEW, ASK AND LISTEN (30 MINUTES)

Offer help: Communicate that if anyone is struggling with any part of the program, you are available to help after the session.

Foster gospel-centered community through faith. Genuine faith is active and causes us to live differently. Genuine faith causes us to war against sin and center our lives around Him.

QUESTIONS FOR SMALL GROUP:

1. What was your biggest takeaway from your time in the Word and with your mentor this week?

2. Tell us time where you have experienced worldly sorrow or false repentance.

3. Tell us of a recent time when you have experienced godly sorrow/repentance because of your sin. What action or actions did you take? (for instance, confession, obedience, gratitude, worship, a submissive spirit, surrender, etc.) This question is NOT ABOUT SALVATION.

4. What is personally meaningful or helpful to you in contrasting godly sorrow (genuine repentance) and worldly sorrow (false repentance)? Why?

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (10 MINUTES)

• Spend time clarifying repentance. This can be difficult for some to grasp, but remember you are planting seeds!

• Just as there is fruit of salvation – there is also fruit of repentance.

• Share 2 or 3 examples in your own life to help with these questions.

• Luke 15: Whether we have been the self-righteous Pharisee or the rebellious lawbreaker, our heavenly Father asks His children to repent and enjoy the blessing of

coming under the riches of His kingdom.

• Help them connect the insanity cycle from last week (with a specific sin cycle for them) to this week’s idea of repentance.

• Remind them that this is a 13-week process! We are only in week 3, heading into week 4.

Truth from Week 3: Through the Holy Spirit’s illumination of our desperate and helpless condition before God and the hope that comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ, we step out in faith and repent as an act of worship and obedience, surrendering our will and entrusting our lives to Christ’s care and control. We are reborn spiritually and rescued from the domain of darkness and brought into the kingdom of light, where we now live as a part of Christ’s ever advancing kingdom.

Exhort: Encourage the group to be faithful to do the work by meeting with their mentors and completing the homework for the week. Encourage them not just to check these off their lists but to really seek the Lord in their studies.

Possible Scriptures to use to encourage:

• Romans 6:12-13

• 1 Corinthians 10:13

• Joel 2:12-13

RESPOND (5 MINUTES)

PRAY:

COVER WITH

THE GOSPEL (5 MINUTES)

As participants are transparent and bare their souls, it is important that we cover them with the gospel in prayer as we conclude.

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Plan an event or two to gather and fellowship for a less intensive time together, such as a meal.

o Follow up with group members who are not actively participating in group sessions.

REFLECTION

SEEING THROUGH GOD’S EYES

• Where is the group as a whole?

• Is there anything that you need to take note of regarding individual members?

• Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

• How could you encourage the group or individual members?

• What scriptures speak to the situation?

• Are there specific group guidelines or group dynamics that would be good to reiterate?

PRAY FOR GROUP AND MEMBERS

o Join with your apprentice(s) in asking the Lord to move in the hearts and lives of group members and watch for Him to move.

The Result: Justification, Adoption and Sanctification

Meeting #5 (Covering Week 4 Homework)

OVERVIEW

ROMANS 8:29-30

Those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

Truth From Week 4:

As children of God armed with the Holy Spirit and standing firm in the gospel, we engage in the spiritual battle over the reign and rule of our hearts. God set us apart for holiness, and we look to put to death the areas of our lives that keep us from reflecting Jesus Christ to a dark and dying world. We first examine the fruit in our lives (or moral symptoms). As we move through the assessment process, we will uncover the roots of any ungodly fruit (pride and idolatry) that drives our ungodly thoughts, actions and emotions.

Session Goal:

The goal of this session is to lead participants in receiving what is true about them in Christ. Also, helping them acknowledge where they struggle to believe what seems too good to be true and praying that God would help their unbelief.

Small Group Helps:

o Prayerfully Prepare: Spend time in the scriptures taking note of important truths. Answer the small group questions yourself so you can lead others in the discussion.

o Be ready to bathe the participants in truths (comforts) of the gospel before they dig into their hearts in the upcoming assessment weeks.

o Remember, your goal is to keep conversation moving in the right direction. Draw out what God is doing, not what you think is supposed to be happening in the Thrive process. Everyone has a different experience and learns varied things at differing paces. It’s ok if they don’t connect with a certain lesson or fully ‘get it.’

o It can be appropriate to review group guidelines and address crosstalk. Talk to them

The

about when it is ok and helpful (when speaking encouragement and truth) but not helpful (when it becomes “but I do” or related a similar story). Be on guard against fixing and rescuing happening in the group. This protects introverts and the overall group dynamic.

o If you have it, bring your copy of the Thrive participant guide to use as you answer any questions about the upcoming week of homework. This coming week is a transition week!

o This is a good week for the apprentice leader to lead if they have not already done so.

Large Group Info:

• Large Group Teaching: “The Result: Justification, Adoption and Sanctification”

Video length = 27:40 mins (shorter video)

• Salvation Chart presented

WHERE THEY’RE COMING FROM THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES

• Day 1: Romans 8

• Day 2: Revelation 21-22; 1 Peter 1:3-9

• Day 3: Romans 7

• Day 4: Matthew 15:1-20

• Day 5: Ephesians 4:17-5:2

• Day 6: Galatians 2:15-3:3

WHAT’S BEING DISCUSSED WITH MENTORS

• How do you tend to view suffering in your life? How might the precious truths of Romans 8 shape your views? How might God redeem your specific suffering for His glory and your good?

• Biblical lament includes getting honest with God about our suffering while being reminded of His presence, truth and promises. What difficulty do you need to get honest about? In your free time, write a psalm to God. Be sure to include truths that speak to your difficulty.

• Where have you excused or placed blame for your ungodly thoughts, behaviors and emotions (examples: family upbringing, suffering and loss, a diagnosis, “the devil made me do it”, blaming others)?

• If God’s good goal for our lives is to conform us to the image of His Son, is this now your goal? How will you achieve this goal?

• What reservations do you have about examining your own heart?

• What “grievous ways” has God revealed to you (ways your sin has grieved the heart of God)?

• What evidences of the Spirit of God do you see at work in you?

• A changed heart means we move from an attitude of be grudging submission to an honest desire to engage the war going on in our hearts. Where are you as you head into assessments?

• Scripture tells us that Jesus endured the cross for the joy set before Him. Mortification often feels like crucifixion. What future glory is on the horizon for those who suffer with Him in this way?

• In your own words, what do each of these gospel truths mean for you personally? (ADOPTION JUSTIFICATION HEIR SANCTIFICATION)

• What are your thoughts, concerns, and fears about completing your assessments? If not ready, why? What time will you set aside to do them? When will you meet with your mentor to go over them (this may take longer than your previous meetings)?

• Going into assessments, what prayer would you like to offer to God?

• (Optional) Biblical lament includes getting honest with God about our suffering while being reminded of His presence, truth and promises. What difficulty do you need to get honest about? In your free time, write a psalm to God. Be sure to include truths that speak to your difficulty.

Note: There is a worksheet to help write a lament located in Appendix G of the Participant Guide.

The Result: Justification, Adoption and Sanctification

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ADMINISTRATION (10 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Open in prayer. Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

ü Remind of group guidelines that may have previously been crossed.

ü Did participants complete weekly homework, meet with their mentor, listen to teaching and attend small groups?

REVIEW, ASK AND LISTEN (30 MINUTES)

Foster gospel-centered community through rest. God invites us to rest in His finished work through Jesus. We work from a place of rest. It is impossible to please God apart from faith. We have peace with God in Jesus Christ.

QUESTIONS FOR SMALL GROUP:

1. What was your biggest takeaway from your time in the Word and with your mentor this week?

2. What are some of the more meaningful “gospel truths” for you and your particular story? (Truths about God’s character, what the gospel says is true of us in Christ, and the promises of God)

3. How will these truths help carry you through difficult trials? Be specific. Adoption, Sanctification, Justification – these may need more explanation in your group Discern where there is understanding or misunderstandings.

4. The gospel can seem too good to be true. What truths do you have difficulty believing are true for you? Where is more faith needed?

5. What does the gospel call us to that is challenging, confusing or even questionable?

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (10 MINUTES)

Speak redemptively: Regardless of good days or bad days, God is accomplishing the salvation of His people. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Nothing can separate us from His love. We are His children. We are more than conquerors. We will be

conformed to the image of His Son as we put to death the deeds of the flesh and set our minds on the things of the Spirit. (Romans 8)

Spend time clarifying gospel truths and gospel pursuits. This can be difficult for some to grasp because these words/phrasings are new …

• Gospel truths/comforts (gospel indicatives)- unchanging realities for born again believers such as adoption, sanctification, and justification, that root believers in truth. Ephesians 1-3 (examples of gospel indicatives)

• Gospel pursuits (gospel imperatives)- what the gospel calls us to; commands Ephesians 4-6 (examples of gospel imperatives)

Truth From Week 4: As children of God armed with the Holy Spirit and standing firm in the gospel, we engage in the spiritual battle over the reign and rule of our hearts. God set us apart for holiness, and we look to put to death the areas of our lives that keep us from reflecting Jesus Christ to a dark and dying world. We first examine the fruit in our lives (or moral symptoms). As we move through the assessment process, we will uncover the roots of any ungodly fruit (pride and idolatry) that drive our ungodly thoughts, actions and emotions.

Possible Scriptures to use to encourage:

• Romans 8:15-17

• 2 Corinthians 3:18, 5:17

• Galatians 2: 20

• Romans 8:1

• See also scripture references from Appendix

Pre-Assessment Helps:

This is a transition week and it will feel different. This coming week you will begin “week 5” of the curriculum, which is called “pre-assessment.” During this preparation phase you will work through the “Assessment Prep” section and share the answers to questions with your mentor. This is done in place of the daily structured Bible study. You might want to break your time up and cover the homework in several segments of time as you have availability.

Note: You will NOT be asked to share any of your assessments in group!

Mentor scheduling reminder: When you schedule time to meet with your mentors to cover the week 5 homework, 2 consecutive hours each week are suggested.

Offer help: Next week’s Large Group teaching will be on suffering. Communicate that if anyone is struggling with any part of the program, you are available to help after the session.

RESPOND (5 MINUTES)

The Result: Justification, Adoption and Sanctification

PRAY: COVER WITH THE GOSPEL (5 MINUTES)

As participants are transparent and bare their souls, it is important that we cover them with the gospel in prayer as we conclude.

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Send participants gospel encouragement this week in terms of what you are seeing in them individually, or as a group.

o Follow up with group members who are not as active in the group sharing time. Get to know them a little more and offer to pray for them.

o Contact mentors this week to check in with them and pray together for each participant as they begin the pre-assessment.

o Spend time praying for each participant to be rooted in the gospel truths they struggle to believe.

REFLECTION

SEEING THROUGH GOD’S EYES

• Where is the group as a whole?

• Is there anything that you need to take note of regarding individual members?

• Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

• How could you encourage the group or individual members?

• What scriptures speak to the situation?

• Are there specific group guidelines or group dynamics that would be good to reiterate?

PRAY FOR GROUP AND MEMBERS

o Join with your apprentice(s) in asking the Lord to move in the hearts and lives of group members and watch for Him to move.

Understanding Ourselves

WEEKS 5-8

Assessment Prep

Meeting #6 (Covering Week 5 Homework)

OVERVIEW

JOHN 21:4

Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the shore.

Truth From Week 5:

Under the covering of God’s grace, we step out in faith, leaving behind our old, self-protective ways of covering sin and hiding from God. We prayerfully come into the light, confessing our sins before God and to one another so that we may be healed.

Session Goal:

The goal of this session is to lead participants in recognizing that the things we have been through in the past shape how we relate to God, self, others and our circumstances currently. We don’t want to heal our wounds lightly, but bring those wounds into God’s presence so we can be redeemed.

Small Group Helps:

o Prayerfully Prepare: Spend time reviewing the concepts and scriptures from week 5 of the Participant Guide. Examine your own heart so you can lead others in the discussion. This way God’s Word will be fresh on your heart, providing the truth necessary to keep the session on track.

ü *Remember that by addressing abuse in the homework this week, some participants will be overwhelmed and a bit hijacked (unable to focus on other things.) Be extra sensitive to those that have suffered abuse in your group. If they do share about it in your group, it’s helpful to respond by telling them how sorry you are that happened to them and empathize with them. (Make sure to STOP and do this before moving on!) *This guidance is especially important for leading women.

ü When anticipating future steps (8 and 9), if a participant is afraid of being asked to reconcile with an abuser, let them know that this is not expected or advised.

o Continue to pray for vulnerability as you lead.

Large Group Info:

• Large Group Teaching: This week we will be hearing a live lesson: “When We Suffer.”

WHERE THEY’RE COMING FROM

THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES (NOT NECESSARILY DAILY READING)

• 1 John 1:5-10

• Proverbs 28:13; James 5:16; Acts 19:18

• Romans 7:18

• Jeremiah 6:14

• 1 Corinthians 15:3-4

• Matthew 15:18-19

• Galatians 5:16-23

WHAT’S BEING DISCUSSED WITH MENTORS

• What are the benefits of living in the light?

• What can we conclude about living in darkness?

• Would you say you have been primarily concerned with changing others and your circumstances or being changed by the gospel?

• In what ways can you see yourself living with a passive heart?

• How would you summarize your story before meeting Jesus? What were you pursuing, thinking everything would be okay if achieved?

• How has your life changed after encountering Jesus? What now defines your life?

• When we are stuck in self-pity, what are we not considering?

• How might these truths influence how you tell your story?

• Ephesians 2:1-10 describes the testimony of every believer. What worldly direction were you following before being made alive in Christ? What were your flesh patterns?

• What changed according to this passage? How? For what purpose? What does this all mean for you?

• As we examine the truth about our hearts, why is it important to remember and believe the gospel?

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ADMINISTRATION (10 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Open in prayer. Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

ü Remind of group guidelines that may have previously been crossed.

ü Did participants complete weekly homework, meet with their mentor, listen to teaching and attend small groups?

REVIEW, ASK AND LISTEN (30 MINUTES)

Offer help: Communicate that if anyone is struggling with any part of the program, you are available to help after the session.

Foster Gospel-centered community through Christ’s redemption. This necessarily means that the community realizes their need for saving. Jesus is our Redeemer. Apart from Jesus, everything has been ruined by sin. Jesus delivers us from the bondage of sin and is bringing about something new through His precious blood.

Group time is going to shift focus. Because you are sharing your suffering, hurts and pain with your mentor, our group time will be more focused in the Word and moving toward the Light. It is not healthy to just come and share all the pain again.

QUESTIONS FOR SMALL GROUP:

1. What was most meaningful about the large group teaching we just heard? Do you have any questions?

2. How have you pretended like everything is okay when in reality you are suffering or troubled? (We’re looking for coping; patterns of things they turn to )

3. In light of the fact that we have all experienced suffering, in what ways can you see wounds from your past surfacing in your life today? (What is still hurting?)

(For those who haven’t shared deeply yet. No need to repeat stories here.)

4. Share a recent example of how you responded to suffering. (Can be as small as an insult.)

(We’re looking for the connection between sin and suffering in a person’s life, and if they tend to defend/depend on self or depend on God.)

5. Because Jesus is our Redeemer and Healer, we can be hopeful about healing. Do you have some ideas about the areas of healing you need that you could share with the group?

6. What are your thoughts, concerns and fears as we head into assessments?

(Refer to the pre-assessment instructions in the Participant Guide.) Does everyone have at least 3 people praying for them?

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (10 MINUTES)

Use this time to encourage the group.

Speak redemptively: It is important for those we disciple to see their problems biblically so that we can bring the hope of the gospel to their specific needs. Introduce participants to scriptures that speak to their circumstances. Remind them of the promises and character of God.

Reintegrate: Emphasize the hope of the gospel from this session’s teaching.

Scripture to Encourage:

• Proverbs 28:13 – There is mercy for those who confess and forsake their transgressions.

• 1 John 1:9 – Jesus cleanses all who come to Him in faith, agreeing with Him in the ways we have sinned against Him, and brings fellowship with believers.

• James 5:16 – Healing for our hearts is available as we confess and pray for one another.

Other Scriptures to possibly encourage with:

• Psalm 4 & 5

• Isaiah 53, 61:1-3

• James 1:2-16

• Romans 6:1-19 Romans 12:18-21

• 1 Peter 2:24-25, 3:13-17

Truth From Week 5: Under the covering of God’s grace, we step out in faith, leaving behind our old, self-protective ways of covering sin and hiding from God. We prayerfully come into the light, confessing our sins before God and to one another so that we may be healed.

Clarify Homework: Week 6 is the first full set of assessments: Trauma and Abuse. Walk through the pages with them. Make sure to point out where they need to stop and wait for the Mentor. Remind them that there are two assessments, and where to skip ahead to find the next assessment.

RESPOND (5 MINUTES)

PRAY: COVER WITH THE GOSPEL (5 MINUTES)

As participants are transparent and bare their souls, it is important that we cover them with the gospel in prayer as we conclude.

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Encourage participants to spend time daily in the Word and prayer during assessment weeks.

o Reach out and find out when participants are working on their assessments so you can be praying for them during that time.

REFLECTION

SEEING THROUGH GOD’S EYES

• Where is the group as a whole?

• Is there anything that you need to take note of regarding individual members?

• Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

• How could you encourage the group or individual members?

• What scriptures speak to the situation?

• Are there specific group guidelines or group dynamics that would be good to reiterate?

PRAY FOR GROUP AND MEMBERS

o Join with your apprentice(s) in asking the Lord to move in the hearts and lives of group members and watch for Him to move.

Examining Suffering and Anger

Meeting #7 (Covering Week 6 Homework)

OVERVIEW

MICAH 7:8

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.

TRAUMA AND ABUSE:

Trauma, abuse, neglect and abandonment often provide the “fertile ground” for our dysfunctional patterns of relating to God, self and others. Trauma, according to the American Psychological Association, is an emotional response to a terrible event (or events) that hinders a person’s ability to move forward in a healthy way. Trauma can happen through a single event or through sustained exposure overtime.

Abuse can be understood as the misuse of anything. God created all things for His glory, and misuse of His creation is a type of abuse that is ultimately sinful. All sin is abusive, and sin against others is undeserved. There is, however, a type of abuse that moves beyond what might be considered normative in the Christian life. It often includes intent to harm and can characterize a relationship of oppression. This abuse is horrific and, in keeping with God’s heart for the oppressed, the church must be a redemptive instrument in intervening for and protecting the abused. As with any sin, we cannot overcome its effects independent of God, but He has provided the way to overcome sin through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

HEBREW 12:15

See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.

ANGER AND RESENTMENT:

To understand resentment, we must first understand anger. Anger is an emotional response to a perceived wrong that demands justice. A resentment is a “root of bitterness” that takes hold in our hearts when we fail to entrust offenses to the LORD. Resentments make us unfruitful, sucking nutrients (energy) that could be used productively. Resentments also defile others. They can be displayed in acting toward someone in a way we shouldn’t or not acting in a way toward someone that we should. We tend to replay in our minds the situations in which we have been treated unjustly.

Examining

Session Goal:

The goal of this session is to lead participants in a discussion around what God’s word says about suffering from abuses and the accompanying anger. This session is intended to bring the gospel’s relevance to these dark and difficult realities.

Small Group Helps:

Prayerfully prepare: Spend time reviewing the concepts and prompts in week 6 (two assessments). Answer the small group questions yourself so you can lead others in the discussion.

Important considerations for leading a discussion where trauma, abuse and suffering are themes:

• The assessments completed may identify areas where a person is still being wounded in some area. Please be extra cautious from passing judgement or allowing comparisons to be vocalized in group. Hurting people are not always able to think logically or be objectively theological.

• When you step in to offer encouragement, be extra sensitive this week. Choose to “patiently listen” versus “admonish and warn,” because we do not want to increase shame.

• Be very careful regarding storytelling. Group time is meant to clarify truths about God and His character. Mentors will spend extra time this week working through the storytelling and offering personalized care and compassion to participants.

• We can cause re-traumatization if we are eager to hear a story that interests our own ears rather than provide a safe space for a person to express where they are in suffering through a tough situation.

• The participant needs to know they can share as little as they want and will not be pressured to share more. The person sharing a tough example may need to pause or stop altogether, and that is ok.

• Be cognizant that we would never ask a person to confront their abuser.

Large Group Info:

• Large Group Teaching: “Assessing Anger and Abuse” (Video Session 5) Video length = 35:40

• Covering Christian walking in flesh vs. in God’s Spirit

WHERE THEY’RE COMING FROM

THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES FOR TRAUMA AND SUFFERING

• Deuteronomy 26:7

• Micah 7:8-10

• Psalm 9:7-10; 10:17-18; 12:5; 56:1-11; 71:20-22; 103:4

• Joel 2:25-26

• John 10:10

THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES FOR ANGER AND RESENTMENT

• Matthew 5:21-22

• Luke 6:35-36

• Romans 12:19

• John 5:30

• Hebrews 12:15

• James 1:19-2

• Psalm 4:14

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ADMINISTRATION (10 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Open in prayer. Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

ü Remind of group guidelines that may have previously been crossed.

ü Did participants complete both assessments, meet with their mentor, listen to teaching and attend small groups?

ü This week we continue in assessments. Each group member will need to intentionally set aside time to examine their hearts before the Lord (instead of completing daily devotionals) and to meet with their mentors (three consecutive hours each week).

REVIEW, ASK AND LISTEN (30 MINUTES)

Offer help: Communicate that if anyone is struggling with any part of the program, you are available to help after the session.

Foster Gospel-centered community through justice. God is perfectly just, meaning He does not allow sin to go unpunished. Sinners will either experience the wrath of God or the mercy of God through the substitutionary death of Christ for their sins. God contends against injustice by defeating sin on the cross, offering mercy through the gospel, but He will return to bring perfect justice to those outside of Christ.

QUESTIONS FOR SMALL GROUP:

1. What was your experience as you spent time with God going through this week’s Assessments?

2. What clarifying questions do you have regarding the lesson this week? What was most meaningful?

3. When someone hurts you, how do you typically respond to the injustice or offenses committed against you?

4. In what ways do you justify your sinful anger or other bad fruit? (Give everyone the opportunity to answer.)

5. Read Matthew 5:21-22. This is Jesus’ teaching on unrighteous anger and its impact (physical abuse to verbal/emotional abuse). Murder and anger in our hearts are clearly different in degree, but who are they both liable to? (One person answers.)

6. Read Romans 12:19-21. Most of us respond to perceived injustices/offenses either passively or aggressively. (We can suppress the anger or retaliate.) How does Scripture call us to respond to our enemies? How does the world tell us we should respond? (One person answers.)

7. Read Matthew 5:38-42. What examples does Jesus give for responding to personal offenses? How does He say to actively respond to these injustices? (One person answers.)

8. What is challenging for you personally in terms of how the Bible teaches us to respond to injustices?

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (10 MINUTES)

Speak redemptively: It is important for those we disciple to see their problems biblically so that we can bring the hope of the gospel to their specific needs. You might feel tempted to think you have to have all the answers. Allow the process to unfold. Introduce participants to scriptures that speak to their circumstances. Remind them of their new identity and the promises and character of God.

• Romans 12:19-21 – Show the participant that we don’t have to take revenge, not because God doesn’t care about justice, but because God says that He will bring perfect justice. This helps us to win people to be reconciled to God rather than demanding what we feel we are due.

• 1 Peter 2:19-25 – This scripture explains that Jesus suffered abuse. He understands. He also responded righteously and left us an example of how to respond to abuse.

• Psalm 56:1-11 – This scripture illustrates God’s heart for the abused. He has not forgotten them, He has heard their cries. The cross of Christ doesn’t just justify sinners, it also vindicates victims.

A Redemptive View of Abuse and Suffering: Abuse is the misuse of anything. God created all things for His glory, and misuse of His creation is abuse and ultimately sinful. All sin is abuse, and sin against others is undeserved. We cannot overcome the effects of sin independent of God, but He has provided the way to overcome sin and its effects through the gospel of Jesus Christ. God has the power to redeem all forms of abuse and suffering. In Christ, through the Spirit, we will display His supremacy and victory over evil as we arise over sin, shame and even death. (p. 145)

A Redemptive View of Anger: Anger is an emotional response to a perceived wrong that demands justice. Not all anger is sinful. It can be the appropriate response to injustice. Unrighteous anger is rooted in man’s attempts to meet his own idolatrous desires. Righteous anger is aligned with the Spirit and flows from the heart of God in love for that which He cares about, spurring us on to gospel-centered action to eradicate evil and injustice. (p. 159)

RESPOND (5 MINUTES)

Leave a few minutes at the end of each session for the group to interact as the Holy Spirit moves. This is an opportunity for members to share something the Spirit is impressing on them, like a confession, a word of encouragement or a verse.

PRAY: COVER WITH THE GOSPEL (5 MINUTES)

As participants are transparent and bare their souls, it is important that we cover them with the gospel in prayer as we conclude.

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Whom do you need to admonish, encourage, help and be patient with?

o Consider sharing the following resources with any participants who you feel might benefit:

o Redemptive Views of Anger and Abuse

o “Understanding Anger”

o Psalm of Lament

o What action needs to flow from your role as a shepherd leader?

REFLECTION

SEEING THROUGH GOD’S EYES

• Where is the group as a whole?

• Is there anything that you need to take note of regarding individual members?

• Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

• How could you encourage the group or individual members?

• What scriptures speak to the situation?

• Are there specific group guidelines or group dynamics that would be good to reiterate?

PRAY FOR GROUP AND MEMBERS

o Join with your apprentice(s) in asking the Lord to move in the hearts and lives of group members and watch for Him to move.

Examining Sex, Guilt and Shame

Meeting #8 (Covering Week 7 Homework)

OVERVIEW

1 CORINTHIANS 6:18-20

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Sexual immorality is any sexual act that occurs outside of God’s intended design for sex between one man and one woman within the marriage covenant. Beyond sexual acts, God looks deeper to the desires and motivations of the heart.

GALATIANS 2:21

I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.

Session Goal:

The goal of this session is to lead participants in a discussion around what God’s word says about sex, guilt and shame. We challenge participants to think about how their view of sex may be distorted. We also want to help lead people to the freedom from their guilt and their shame that the gospel offers.

Small Group Helps:

Prayerfully Prepare: Spend time reviewing the concepts and scriptures from the Participant Guide. Examine your own heart so you can lead others in the discussion. This way God’s Word

will be fresh on your heart, providing the truth necessary to keep the session on track.

“Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves …” (2 Corinthians 13:5a)

• Discourage comparisons this week.

• Each person’s struggle is different but equally as important to bring to the light. For example, struggling to be intimate with one’s spouse is just as important to share as lustful temptations, self-sex, etc.

• Due to varying degrees of shame related to sexual sin, not everyone will be able to share vulnerably this week.

• Be aware of body language and reactions when someone confesses sin. Be careful not to add more shame.

• Remember that all sexual involvement outside of God’s design is shame-inducing These two assessments are linked in that way.

False guilt is when someone didn’t do anything wrong, but they still feel like they did.

Here are some differences between guilt and shame:

GUILT

• Conviction from the Spirit

• Helpful and Necessary

• “I did something wrong”

• Something I can agree with

• I am guilty of ___________.

• Based on a specific action

Large Group Info:

SHAME

• Condemnation from the evil one or self

• Not helpful

• “I am wrong”

• Feels like “embarrassment”

• Attacks our identity

• Can be a result of someone sinning against us

• Can be anger towards self

• Often involves “exposure”

• Genesis “naked” - hiding from the Lord and others

• Involves judgment –something we perceive to be ugly, repulsive in ourselves

• Large Group Teaching: “Assessing Sex, Guilt and Shame” (Video Session 6) Video length = 26:23 (short)

• Concept introduced: Two Heart Issues: Pride and Idolatry

WHERE THEY’RE COMING FROM

THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES FOR SEXUAL IMMORALITY

• Genesis 1:22; 2:24

• Micah 7:18-20

• 1 John 3:2-3

• Joel 2:25

• 1 Corinthians 6:14-20; 9:9-11

THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES FOR GUILT AND SHAME

• Genesis 3:10

• Psalm 34: 15-18,22

• Psalm 51:7-8,27

• Hebrews 4:15-16

• 1 John 1:7-9

• Romans 8:1

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ADMINISTRATION (10 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Open in prayer. Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

ü Reminder of group guidelines that may have previously been crossed.

ü Did participants complete weekly homework, meet with their mentor, listen to teaching and attend small groups?

REVIEW, ASK AND LISTEN (30 MINUTES)

Offer help: Next week’s teaching will be on fear, grief and loss. Communicate that if anyone is struggling with any part of the program, you are available to help after the session.

Foster Gospel-centered community through confession. Sin makes us sick. The scriptures tell us that we are to confess our sins to one another so that we can be healed. As we walk in the light, we are cleansed from the defiling effects of sin and the resulting shame. God is merciful, meaning He delights in extending mercy as we return to Him.

QUESTIONS FOR SMALL GROUP:

1. What was your experience this week as you spent time with God going through assessments?

2. What clarifying questions do you have regarding the lesson this week? What was most meaningful?

3. How do you view sex? Do you view it as dirty or a delight? Do you see it as gross or a gift? Do you tend to despise the gift, worship the gift or worship the Giver?

4. What has shaped your view of sex?

5. How do you deal with your sin and shame when you are not bringing it prayerfully to Jesus? Give examples (i.e.: beat yourself up, cover and hide, try to manage it, try harder, do religious or good things, minimize it, sit in it, confess just to feel better, deflect with humor, suppress it, etc.)

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (10 MINUTES)

Speak redemptively: It is important for those we disciple to see their problems biblically so that we can bring the hope of the gospel to their specific needs. You might feel tempted to think you have to have all the answers. Allow the process to unfold. Introduce participants to scriptures that speak to their circumstances. Remind them of their new identity and the promises and character of God.

Reintegrate: Emphasize the hope of the gospel from this session’s teaching.

• 1 John 3:3; Psalm 51:7 – When Christ died on the cross, He took our sin as well as our shame. In Him we are clean, pure, innocent and white as snow.

• Hebrews 4:15-16 – This scripture emphasizes the truth that we have been made clean and holy through Christ. We no longer have to let shame keep us from approaching God. He knew our dirtiness before we did and still decided to save us. Jesus has willingly taken all the punishment that we deserve so that we may approach our Father’s throne.

• Exodus 34:6-8 – God is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He has made a way to return to Him. He will not clear the guilty, so we turn from sin and run to Him! Thank you, Jesus!

Additional Scriptures to possibly use as encouragement:

• Romans 8:1

• 1 John 1:9

• Joel 2:25

Sex is a beautiful and sacred gift given to us by God. It is to be worshipful, but not worshiped. It is to be enjoyed and celebrated within the marriage covenant as a reflection of the gospel and our union with Christ. Any sexual act that occurs outside of God’s intended design is sexual immorality. Beyond action alone, God looks deeper to the desires and motivations of the heart. Only through the gospel will God align our hearts with His purposes for this beautiful and sacred gift.

Guilt can be both a state and/or a feeling that occurs when we have violated a law or moral standard. We can feel guilty and not be guilty (false guilt) or we may be guilty and not feel guilty (hard hardheartedness). False guilt occurs when someone besides God is lord of our lives and their judgments matter more than His. Not feeling guilt when we are guilty is a sign of a hardened heart. Only the gospel can reconcile a heart of injustice. Life through the Spirit brings conviction when we operate outside of God’s intended design.

Shame is the intense feeling of being unclean, defiled and dirty. Closely related to guilt, it may result from the exposure of one’s own sin and depravity or from sin committed against one’s dignity. Shame is deeply rooted in identity (“I am worthless; I am dirty”). The gospel of Jesus Christ gives us a new identity and a covering for our shame. Even though we may sin or be sinned against, shame no longer rules our lives because our identity is found in Jesus Christ.

RESPOND (5 MINUTES)

PRAY: COVER WITH THE GOSPEL (5 MINUTES)

As participants are transparent and bare their souls, it is important that we cover them with the gospel in prayer as we conclude.

Examining Sex, Guilt and

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Reach out to mentors and check in with them about the assessment process.

o Consider sharing the following resources with any participants who you feel might benefit:

o Shame: “19 Motives for Pornography”

o Redemptive Views of Sex, Guilt and Shame

o Plan a gathering to pray over participants for deliverance and healing following Week 9. This can be done individually by mentors, during small group following the teaching or at a separate gathering. Prepare your group for this critical time of prayer.

REFLECTION

SEEING THROUGH GOD’S EYES

• Where is the group as a whole?

• Is there anything that you need to take note of regarding individual members?

• Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

• How could you encourage the group or individual members?

• What scriptures speak to the situation?

• Are there specific group guidelines or group dynamics that would be good to reiterate?

PRAY FOR GROUP AND MEMBERS

o Join with your apprentice(s) in asking the Lord to move in the hearts and lives of group members and watch for Him to move.

Examining Fear, Grief and Loss

Meeting #9 (Covering Week 8 Homework)

OVERVIEW

ISAIAH 41:13

For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

JOHN 16:33

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or danger.

Grief is the deep sorrow over the loss of someone or something we love. This includes people, relationships, safety, security, identity, possessions, affections and desires. Grief is a natural response to loss and is not sinful.

Session Goal:

The goal of this session is to lead participants in a discussion around what God’s word says about fear, grief and loss. In a world that is corrupted and destabilized through sin, there is much to fear, much to suffer and much that is lost. This session is intended to bring the gospel’s relevance to these troubles

Small Group Helps:

The session will follow a Bible-study format, but the participants may not have prepared their answers beforehand because they were completing their assessments.

Prayerfully Prepare: Spend time reviewing the concepts and scriptures from the Participant Guide. Examine your own heart so you can lead others in the discussion. This way God’s Word will be fresh on your heart, providing the truth necessary to keep the session on track.

• Review “Panic Attacks Handout” if anyone in your group struggles with these.

• Familiarize yourself with the “Psalm of Lament” worksheet.

• Reminder that grief involves loss; not limited to death (job loss, divorce/relationship loss, moving, health issues, etc.)

• Review the Redemptive Views for Fear, Grief and Loss.

A Biblical Understanding of Grief:

• We move from denial to candor.

• We move from anger to lament – getting honest with God.

• We move from bargaining to crying out to God- asking for help.

• We move from depression and alienation to comfort- receiving God’s help.

• We move from regrouping and pushing forward in our own strength to waiting and trusting with faith when God says, “Not yet.”

• We move from deadening to wailing – groaning with hope.

• We move from despairing and doubting to weaving – perceiving with grace.

• We move from digging cisterns to worshipping God, the Redeemer.

Large Group Info:

Large Group Teaching: “Assessing Fear, Anxiety, and Grief” (Video Session 7) Video length = 25:43 (short – sped up)

WHERE THEY’RE COMING FROM

THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES FOR FEAR AND ANXIETY

• Isaiah 41:10

• Psalm 91:1-8-16

• Psalm 56:3-4

• Matthew 6:25-33

• Joshua 1:9

• Philippians 4:4-7

THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES FOR GRIEF AND LOSS

• Isaiah 53:3

• John 11:34-36

• Luke 19:41-42

• Matthew 5:4

• Revelation 21:4

• John 10:10-11

• 1 Peter 1:6-7

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ADMINISTRATION (10 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Open in prayer. Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

ü Remind of group guidelines that may have previously been crossed.

ü Did participants complete weekly homework, meet with their mentor, listen to teaching and attend small groups?

ü This coming week you will finish sharing your assessments with your Mentor.

REVIEW, ASK AND LISTEN (30 MINUTES)

Offer help: This week in addition to working on a different Mentor Prep section of homework, participants will return to the daily Bible study. Next week’s teaching will be, “Getting to the Roots.” Communicate that if anyone is struggling with any part of the program, you are available to help after the session.

Foster Gospel-centered community through compassion. God is compassionate. He sees, knows, cares and acts when His children are in need. When we see others in need, His children should reflect Him and enter in.

QUESTIONS FOR SMALL GROUP:

1. What clarifying questions do you have regarding the lesson this week? What was most meaningful?

2. What are some of the things you fear or get anxious about? Why?

3. What truths about God’s character and the reality of the kingdom help transcend the loss of earthly treasures, which are vapor (here and then gone)?

4. In suffering do you tend toward detached optimism, stoicism, unceasing despair or biblical lament? Give examples.

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (10 MINUTES)

Speak redemptively: It is important for those we disciple to see their problems biblically so that we can bring the hope of the gospel to their specific needs. You might feel tempted to think you have to have all the answers. Allow the process to unfold. Introduce participants to scriptures that speak to their circumstances. Remind them of their new identity and the

promises and character of God.

Reintegrate: Emphasize the hope of the gospel from this session’s teaching.

• 1 John 4:7-21 – The gospel of Jesus Christ removes the curse of sin and the wrath of God and allows us to approach His throne with confidence. Knowing His love for us frees us from self-protection and allows us to sacrificially lay our lives down for others to know His love. When we walk in fear, we cannot walk in love.

• Matthew 5:4; Psalm 34:18-19 – God is always close to us in our suffering. He promises to heal and restore. We must grieve our loss and allow God to enter into and heal those wounds.

Additional Scriptures to possibly use as encouragement:

• Psalm 118:6

• Psalm 73:24-26

• Matthew 5:4

Review Redeemed Truths:

Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or danger. Spiritually, healthy fear is the fear of the Lord. To fear the Lord is to worship Him alone. It is the source of all wisdom and understanding. The absence of the fear of the Lord is the height of foolishness and leads to destruction. Outside of the gospel, we live our lives out of a self-centered fear that seeks to meet our own perceived needs. As the Spirit reveals this foolishness, we come under the compassion and care of our loving Father. He knows best when it comes to providing, protecting and directing our lives according to His plan and purpose for His glory and our good.

Grief is a natural response to loss and is not sinful. When we grieve, we can do so knowing that we stand in the loving arms of God the Father. Grief in this context is always hopeful because we know that God is making all things new. Grief outside of the gospel leaves us to cope through self-generated means and with false hope or no hope at all. Grief can become complicated when we idolize what we lost

RESPOND (5 MINUTES)

PRAY: COVER WITH THE GOSPEL (5 MINUTES)

As participants are transparent and bare their souls, it is important that we cover them with the gospel in prayer as we conclude.

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Pursue those in your group who may need extra encouragement or help.

o Consider whom you and your apprentice leader need to meet with individually.

REFLECTION

SEEING THROUGH GOD’S EYES

• Where is the group as a whole?

• Is there anything that you need to take note of regarding individual members?

• Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

• How could you encourage the group or individual members?

• What scriptures speak to the situation?

• Are there specific group guidelines or group dynamics that would be good to reiterate?

PRAY FOR GROUP AND MEMBERS

o Join with your apprentice(s) in asking the Lord to move in the hearts and lives of group members and watch for Him to move.

Uprooting and Repenting Meeting #10 (Covering Week 9 Homework)

OVERVIEW

LUKE 6:43-45

“For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

Truth From this Week:

In attempting to live independent of God, we have developed dysfunctional patterns of coping. After careful examination, we have begun to see the demonic roots of our slavery to these sinful patterns. We desire freedom. We renounce our former ways, offer ourselves to God and under the waterfall of His grace, ask Him to deliver and heal us by the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. We also pray for blessing and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live life according to His kingdom purposes.

Session Goal:

The goal of this session is to lead participants to understand how the bad fruit in our lives comes from attempting to satisfy our God-given desires in the world rather than in Him. Insight into this is not the same as change. We must renounce (come out of agreement with) our former ways and ask God to deliver and heal us.

Small Group Helps:

• Give examples from your own life to help them see 'roots' behind a sin struggle.

• Remember, a root is something revealed about our relationship with the Lord:

o A characteristic about Him we are not believing

o A lie we are believing (rather than the Truth of Scripture)

o A promise or gift from God we are not resting in

• Sometimes a person can have a gap in knowledge and not an attitude problem.

• Not everyone is going to have 'ah-ha' moments this week. Don't make this week the

'crux' of the ministry, but rather, remember it is another one of the weeks where God is still working.

Prayerfully Prepare: Taking time to plan for your group session will help orient your heart before the Lord and understand what participants have studied during the week. Spend time reviewing the concepts and questions in Week 9 of the Participant Guide. Answer the following small group questions yourself so you can lead others in the discussion. This way God’s Word will be fresh on your heart, providing the truth necessary to keep the session on track.

Large Group Info:

• Large Group Teaching: “Getting to the Roots” (Video Session 8) Video length = 41:58 (long!)

• The “Elevation of Desire” explained (Idolatry) “Need” à Entitlement à Expectation à Demand à Disappointment à Punishment

WHERE

FROM POST-ASSESSMENT WORK:

Participants have had a big week. This was their first week back to daily Bible study, as well as an additional section of work to prepare for a very heavy Mentor meeting. They may not be able to discuss the above section with their Mentors this week, but they will certainly cover the below. (These are just some of the questions being asked during the conversation time.)

• What unfruitful patterns of coping or character defects have surfaced during the assessments? List the ones you believe the Lord has been calling your attention to.

• Do you desire freedom from these patterns? Are you ready to renounce or come out of agreement with them and ask God to remove them?

• What specific lies are you in agreement with when operating in these dysfunctional patterns? List the lies.

• Do you desire freedom from these lies? Are you ready to renounce these lies and come out of agreement with them?

• What vows have you made that may be hindering you from following God’s voice? Are you willing to renounce the self-generated vows and look to Christ instead?

• Are you willing to renounce these self-generated vows and look to Christ instead?

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ADMINISTRATION (10 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Open in prayer. Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

ü Remind of group guidelines that may have previously been crossed.

ü Did participants complete weekly homework, meet with their mentor, listen to teaching and attend small groups?

ü Remind everyone that next week is a special night of worship where we will be processing things to bring to the cross of Jesus These are things that you will be identifying with your Mentor, and they will be invited to join use next time for both this Small Group time as well as the special Large Group

REVIEW, ASK AND LISTEN (30 MINUTES)

Offer help: In the upcoming week, we will begin to examine faith. Each group member will need to set aside time with the Lord to complete daily devotionals, to meet with their Mentors and begin thinking through amends. Next week’s teaching will be on biblical peacemaking and the ministry of reconciliation. Communicate that if anyone is struggling with any part of the program, you are available to help after the session.

Foster Gospel-centered community through prayer. As God’s children, we are dependent on our heavenly Father for provision, protection, direction and deliverance. We have unearthed lots through the assessment, but insight is not the same as change. We go to God and ask that He would do the seemingly impossible. God is our deliverer. He rescues His children.

QUESTIONS FOR SMALL GROUP:

1. What was your biggest takeaway from your time in the Word and with your mentor this week?

2. What good God-given desires have you elevated and sought to satisfy through the world? What results have you seen (fruit)?

3. From tonight’s teaching on desires (specifically the things we under-desire), can you identify with the concept of shutting off good, God-given desires (in an attempt to self-protect) because you’ve been severely hurt? If so, what are the desires?

4. How does God fulfill both these specific desires? Do you believe that God’s plans for your life are better than your plans?

5. Looking back at the chart on page 3 of the lesson outline, give an example of how a felt need in your life has led to an entitlement and expectation.

6. Share a time when you were tempted to believe a lie of the enemy. How has God provided for you in that temptation? (see 1 Cor. 10:13)

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (10 MINUTES)

Speak redemptively: Introduce participants to scriptures that speak to their circumstances. Remind them of the promises and character of God.

Reintegrate: Emphasize the hope of the gospel from this session’s teaching.

Jeremiah 2:13 – We must choose where we will seek to have our desires satisfied. There is an abundant source in Christ for our deepest desires to be satisfied. To seek to have our desires satisfied anywhere else is to look to the broken cisterns of the world.

Psalm 37:4 – In our worship of God our desires are fulfilled in Christ.

Additional Scriptures to use to encourage:

• Jeremiah 17:5-10

• Galatians 5:22

• Luke 6:43-45

Truth From this Week: In attempting to live independent of God, we have developed dysfunctional patterns of coping. After careful examination, we have begun to see the demonic roots of our slavery to these sinful patterns. We desire freedom. We renounce our former ways, offer ourselves to God and under the waterfall of His grace, ask Him to deliver and heal us by the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. We also pray for blessing and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live life according to His kingdom purposes.

RESPOND (5 MINUTES)

PRAY: COVER WITH THE GOSPEL

(5 MINUTES)

As participants are transparent and bare their souls, it is important that we cover them with the gospel in prayer as we conclude.

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Pursue the participants this week – individualized email, text, or phone calls. Many people start to fizzle out at this point, so encourage them to finish strong and really seek the Lord.

REFLECTION

SEEING THROUGH GOD’S EYES

• Where is the group as a whole?

• Is there anything that you need to take note of regarding individual members?

• Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

• How could you encourage the group or individual members?

• What scriptures speak to the situation?

• Are there specific group guidelines or group dynamics that would be good to reiterate?

PRAY FOR GROUP AND MEMBERS

o Join with your apprentice(s) in asking the Lord to move in the hearts and lives of group members and watch for Him to move.

MARK 11:23-24

“Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

MATTHEW 7:9-114

“Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”

LUKE 10:19

“Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you.”

T he New Heart WORSHIP + CROSS

Worship Night A Special Service Centered on the Cross of Christ

OVERVIEW

Session Goal:

The aim of this evening is to lead participants to a posture of humility before Almighty God who loves them deeply, cares for them personally, and has already paid the price and prepared the way for them to thrive. This transformation is possible as they learn to trust Him to reign in their hearts and reshape the patterns of their former way of life.

Large Group Info:

• Tonight is different! For the most part, the Small Group and Large Group times are flipped: We will start only briefly in Large Group together, where we will quickly dismiss into your small groups.

• The Large Group experience at the end of the evening (the last hour) will be a time where participants are invited to prayerfully write down “burdens” they have processed with their Mentors and place it on the Cross of Jesus Christ. This is a symbolic expression of turning things (their hearts and lives) over to His rule and reign

• There is no formal “lesson” or video content tonight.

Small Group Helps:

• Many of the Mentors will be with your participants in your Small Groups. The following outline is meant to incorporate the Mentors into the group time.

• This meeting will be more about the community of God surrounding the participants of Thrive in order to support them turning to Jesus in areas of their lives where they’ve been rooting in the kingdom of the world rather than in God’s Kingdom.

• Your group time will be less about reflecting on truth and more about preparing hearts for surrendering to God in front of their small group community.

Prayerfully Prepare:

o This is a good time to reach out to the Mentors of those in your group. Confirm that they will or will not be there this coming week for your Small Group meeting.

o Take time to look through the prayer prompts in the “When You Meet” outline below.

o If a Mentor will not be present, take time to make some notes of things you have noticed that Mentor’s mentee attempting to release during this season of Thrive so that you might be prepared to pray for them when the time comes in group this week.

THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES

• Day 1: James 4:1-10

• Day 2: Ephesians 6:10-20

• Day 3: Romans 11:33-12:8

• Day 4: Matthew 6:5-13; 7:7-11

• Day 5: Matthew 8:1-10:1

• Day 6: Luke 18:18-30

WHAT’S BEING DISCUSSED WITH MENTORS

FROM RESUMED BIBLE STUDY HOMEWORK:

• Internal ruling desires lead to fights and quarrels. What desires tend to rule your heart and trigger unrighteous anger?

• How do you usually deal with this conflict?

• How we use bodies is a reflection of what we worship. If someone wants to observe your daily routine and corresponding practices, what would they conclude you worship or serve?

• We tend to worship/fear that which we believe has what our hearts desire. What desires are you trying to satisfy and where are you seeking to satisfy them?

• Where do you tend to seek value, worth and significance?

• We all have an innate desire to belong and be included in something bigger than ourselves (community). Historically where have you fought to belong? What was required of you to belong?

• We tend to form community around shared values, interests and loves. What bonds the community in which you feel most connected? What is attractive about those relationships?

• To what degree has seeking to meet your own material needs motivated your work?

• In the story of the rich young ruler we see that his wealth hindered his obedience to follow Christ. What hinders your obedience to Christ?

• When we withhold lordship (authority) from Christ in any area of our lives, whom do we give that lordship to by default? Who then do we serve?

• Jesus taught us how to pray. In your own words, how did Jesus teach us to pray?

WHEN YOU MEET

WELCOME MENTORS! (5 MINUTES)

Take a moment to settle in and briefly introduce the new faces around the circle.

PRAYER, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ADMINISTRATION (5 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Open in prayer. Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

ü Remind of group guidelines that may have previously been crossed.

ü Did participants complete weekly homework, meet with their mentor, and attend group?

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (10 MINUTES)

We’re about to enter a time of prayer. This is a time to come before the Lord, lay our lives at His feet and ask that He bring freedom, healing and blessing. We must start by offering our lives completely to Him, to be useful according to His will and His kingdom purposes. We renounce lies, break vows and pray that He would deliver us from sinful patterns of relating to Him, ourselves, the creation and one another in the name of Christ and by His authority. This time of prayer should be for mental, emotional, spiritual, relational and even physical healing.

Participants should share what God revealed through the assessment in terms of significant patterns of sinful behavior, thoughts and attitudes. They should include generational patterns of sin and specific areas where they desire deliverance from bondage and healing from past wounds. They should list the specific character defects, lies, and vows they intend to renounce.

PRAYER TIME (25 MINUTES)

As Jesus’ model prayer teaches us, we must first pray for the furtherance of God’s name, for His kingdom to come and for His will to be done which means that we are laying down our name, our kingdom and our will to His.

PRAYER PROMPTS TO BE PRAYED BY A MENTOR OR LEADER:

Prayer for provision, protection and direction

“Heavenly Father, give us this day what we need to accomplish your kingdom purposes. Provide protection from any interference from the enemy, his servants, works and effects during our time of prayer. You are greater than he who is in the world.”

PRAYER PROMPTS TO BE PRAYED BY PARTICIPANTS:

Prayer to come under God’s authority

“Heavenly Father, I have seen how I have lived according to the ways of the world and have lived for my kingdom, my name and my will. I have renounced those ways and offer myself completely to you to be utilized for your kingdom plan and purposes.”

Prayer to renounce specific lies:

“Heavenly Father, thank you for forgiving me for believing the lie___________. I renounce that lie and come into agreement with the truth that ___________.”

Prayer to break vows:

“Loving Father, in my distress, I have vowed ___________. In doing so, I have alienated myself from you and sought to keep myself from harm. In doing so, I have placed myself under the devil’s authority and given him a foothold. I now break that vow by Christ’s authority and

come to you as my protector. I trust you will give me the grace to overcome all that the enemy brings.”

Prayer to renounce specific patterns:

“Loving Father, in my distress, I vowed to/to never ___________. In doing so, I alienated myself from You and sought to keep myself from harm. In doing so I placed myself under the devil’s authority and gave him a foothold. I have broken that vow by Christ’s authority and come to You as my Protector. I trust You will give me the grace to overcome all that the enemy brings.”

PRAYER PROMPTS TO BE PRAYED BY A MENTOR OR LEADER:

Prayer for deliverance

Heavenly Father, for Your name’s sake and according to your love and mercy, we ask that you would deliver (participant’s name) from any demonic influence that is tempting him/her to (character defect/practice) so that he/she may freely serve You and Your kingdom. Lord, we ask You to fill those places previously occupied by the enemy with the Holy Spirit and bless them in the name of Jesus Christ.

TO BE PRAYED BY A GROUP LEADER:

Closing

Father, we praise You for the freedom that is ours in Christ. Thank You for hearing our prayers, for breaking chains, and for leading us into truth. We trust that even the things left unspoken tonight those places where we’re still wrestling, unsure, or afraid to bring things into the light are seen by You with compassion. Gently draw us to the cross again and again, until every part of us is yielded to Your love. May we walk forward in the authority of Jesus, surrendered to Your will, filled with Your Spirit, and anchored in the truth of who You are. Let Your kingdom come and Your will be done in our lives. Amen

RESPOND (5 MINUTES)

Take a few minutes at the end for the group to interact as the Holy Spirit moves. This is an opportunity for members to share something the Spirit is impressing on them, like a confession, a word of encouragement or a verse.

Potentially ask: Does anyone want to share how that time together felt?

Share your own exhortation/encouragement with the group on they prayer time

TRANSITION (5-10 MINUTES)

Be sure to allow time for a restroom break and for folks to physically make their way to Large Group It would be a good idea to plan to sit together with enough space for Mentors to be with their mentees during the special worship service.

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Plan a time to serve together as a group in the community or within the church. o Plan a final celebratory time together to reflect on and remember the Lord’s goodness and faithfulness in this experience.

REFLECTION

SEEING THROUGH GOD’S EYES

• Where is the group as a whole?

• Is there anything that you need to take note of regarding individual members?

• Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

• How could you encourage the group or individual members?

• What scriptures speak to the situation?

• Are there specific group guidelines or group dynamics that would be good to reiterate?

PRAY FOR GROUP AND MEMBERS

o Join with your apprentice(s) in asking the Lord to move in the hearts and lives of group members and watch for Him to move.

Loving Others WEEKS

11-13

Forgiving Meeting #12 (Covering Week 11 Homework)

OVERVIEW

LUKE 17:3-4

Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, “I repent,” you must forgive him.

Truth from Week 10:

As ambassadors of Christ, we are to be instruments of grace when we confront those who sin against us. We hand offenses over to God and extend eager forgiveness to those who ask for it. In this way, fellowship with God and amongst His people is preserved.

Session Goal:

The goal of this session is to lead participants to confess where fear of man, indifference, and pride have caused them to be unwilling to confront or forgive.

Small Group Helps:

o Prayerfully Prepare: Taking time to plan for your group session will help orient your heart before the Lord and understand what participants have studied during the week o Spend time reviewing the concepts and questions in Week 11. Answer the small group questions yourself so you can lead others in the discussion. This way God’s Word will be fresh on your heart, providing the truth necessary to keep the session on track.

Last week was about those whom you hurt or offended and need to ask for forgiveness from. This week we are focusing on those that have “sinned against you” and extending forgiveness to them.

Because of the forgiveness we have received through Jesus, we are able to genuinely forgive others when they sin against us. Forgiveness is more about obedience and less about feelings.

Large Group Info:

• Large Group Teaching: “Forgiving” (live)

WHERE THEY’RE COMING FROM

THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES

• Day 1: Matthew 18:1-20

• Day 2: Matthew 18:21-35

• Day 3: Luke 17:1-10

• Day 4: 2 Samuel 11-12

• Day 5: Jonah 1-4

• Day 6: Ephesians 4:1-16

WHAT’S BEING DISCUSSED WITH MENTORS

• As people confess sin to us and ask for forgiveness, we should be eager to extend it. Our willingness to forgive is evidence that Christ's forgiveness has transformed our own hearts and that it is our desire that they be reconciled to God. Prayerfully consider and list those whom you might have difficulty forgiving and why

• Are there brothers or sisters in Christ who may have sinned against you and continue to walk in significant, unrepentant sin? If so, develop a plan with your mentor to be an agent of reconciliation.

• Now that bitterness, fear and shame no longer rule you, are there those outside the body who may have hurt you and need to be offered peace with God through the blood of Christ?

• Where are you stuck? Prepare to discuss with your group anyone with whom you are unwilling to make amends, forgive, confront or share the gospel. Why are you unwilling?

• Are there any fears you have in making amends, forgiving, confronting someone's sin or sharing the hope of the gospel? Why are you afraid? How does God speak to our fear?

• Are there any relationships that you believe are beyond repair? Why? Spend time in prayer, specifically for those situations.

• Are there any other questions or issues you are facing?

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ADMINISTRATION (10 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Open in prayer. Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

ü Remind of group guidelines that may have previously been crossed.

ü Did participants complete weekly homework, meet with their mentor, listen to teaching and attend small groups?

REVIEW, ASK AND LISTEN (30 MINUTES)

Offer help: Last week was about those whom you hurt or offended and need to ask for forgiveness from. This week we are focusing on those that have “sinned against you” and extending forgiveness to them.

In the upcoming week, we will continue to examine faith in action. Each group member will need to set aside time with the Lord to complete daily devotionals, to meet with their mentors and begin thinking through ongoing healthy rhythms and aftercare. Next week’s teaching will be on persevering and pursuing. Communicate that if anyone is struggling with any part of the program, you are available to help after the session.

Foster Gospel-centered community through loving pursuit and forgiveness. When we see a brother or sister “playing in the street” or straying away from God and embracing sin, we lovingly pursue them in hopes they might be reconciled to Him. God cares about His straying sheep and His church should reflect Christ’s heart. As a people freely and forever forgiven by God, we are eager to extend horizontal forgiveness to those who seek it so unity can prevail and the work of restoring the relationship can begin.

QUESTIONS FOR SMALL GROUP:

1. Would anyone like to share big take-aways from this large group teaching?

2. How has forgiving someone made a difference in your life? (Leaders: Asking this question first may give a positive example for others in the group who are needing encouragement with this next question.)

3. How could being willing to forgive change your life for the better?

4. What fears, concerns or challenges do you see that might hinder forgiveness?

5. Who might be looking at you as an example of Christ’s love?

6. How can we be praying for you, specifically, this week as you process more with God and your Mentor? Are you more in the pride or fear camp?

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (10 MINUTES)

Use this time to encourage the group.

Speak redemptively: Because of the forgiveness we have received through Jesus, we are able to genuinely forgive others when they sin against us. Forgiveness is more about obedience and less about feelings. Introduce participants to Scripture that speaks to their circumstances. Remind them of the promises and character of God.

Reintegrate: Emphasize the hope of the gospel of Jesus from this session’s teaching.

Matthew 18 – We are the body of Christ. Therefore, we should reflect His heart in the way we relate to one another as we work together for His purposes. He desires unity among His people. We are to pursue one another in love and take seriously God’s call to holiness. If we fail to address sin, it is impossible to be the redemptive community that He has called us to be.

Truth from This Week: As ambassadors of Christ, we are to be instruments of grace when we confront those who sin against us. We hand offenses over to God and extend eager forgiveness to those who ask for it. In this way, fellowship with God and amongst His people is preserved.

Possible Scriptures to use to encourage:

• Luke 15:7

• Matthew 6:9-14

RESPOND (5 MINUTES)

PRAY: COVER WITH THE GOSPEL (5 MINUTES)

As participants are transparent and bare their souls, it is important that we cover them with the gospel in prayer as we conclude.

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Reach out to any participant who seems like they are struggling and encourage them to make adjustments so they can finish strong. Many people start to fizzle out at this point, encourage them to really seek the Lord and use their time wisely!

o Consider planning a second social to help the participants connect more. Look for opportunities to encourage participants to be open with each other. Encourage community inter-dependence.

o Reach out to anyone in your own life you may need to confront or forgive.

o Begin thinking about potential leaders in your group.

o Those that completed and applied the work to their own lives.

o Who can articulate clear transformation in their relationship with the Lord.

o Those who have some foundation in the Lord and you could see them either mentoring or apprentice group leading.

o Be prepared to talk about these folks with your Coach.

REFLECTION

SEEING THROUGH GOD’S EYES

• Where is the group as a whole?

• Is there anything that you need to take note of regarding individual members?

• Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

• How could you encourage the group or individual members?

• What scriptures speak to the situation?

• Are there specific group guidelines or group dynamics that would be good to reiterate?

PRAY FOR GROUP AND MEMBERS

Join with your apprentice(s) in asking the Lord to move in the hearts and lives of group members and watch for Him to move.

Reconciliation : Confession & Amends

Meeting #13

(Covering Week 12 Homework)

OVERVIEW

NUMBERS 5:5-7

And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to the people of Israel, when a man or woman commits any of the sins that people commit by breaking faith with the LORD, and that person realizes his guilt, he shall confess his sin that he has committed. And he shall make full restitution for his wrong, adding a fifth to it and giving it to him to whom he did the wrong.”

Truth From this Week:

Relationships break down because of sin. If there were no sin in the world, relationships would work harmoniously, evidenced by love and unity. Division among God’s people provides opportunities to identify sin and purify the body. The gospel of Jesus Christ brings about justice in a way that the law cannot by inwardly reconciling the very heart of injustice to God. As those forgiven by God, we can humbly approach those affected by our sin and make amends. This change of heart brings glory to God by demonstrating the power of the gospel and reflecting His heart in bringing justice through His reconciled people.

Session Goal:

The goal of this session is to lead participants to confess who they should seek reconciliation with, to identify the fears, concerns and challenges in doing so and to understand how they can seek reconciliation in a way that glorifies God.

Small Group Helps:

Prayerfully Prepare: Taking time to plan for your group session will help orient your heart before the Lord and understand what participants have studied during the week. Spend time reviewing the concepts and questions in Week 10. Answer the small group questions yourself so you can lead others in the discussion. This way God’s Word will be fresh on your heart, providing the truth necessary to keep the session on track.

Review the following graphic about the connection between fruit and roots:

• A lie we are believing instead of the Truth of Scripture

• A promise or gift from God we are not resting in

• A desire of our heart

At this point, it’s helpful to not let participants generalize their answers – encourage specifics and vulnerability

Remember also that your participants will be working with their Mentor in the next weeks on making at least one amend (pursuing reconciliation). In light of this, as well as the large group teaching before your meeting with your group members, please review the leader help “Wisdom in Reconciling” (which is an expansion of pp. 264-6 of the Thrive Participant Guide.)

Large Group Info:

• Large Group Teaching: “Confession and Amends” (live)

WHERE THEY’RE COMING FROM

THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES

• Day 1: Ezekiel 14:1-8

• Day 2: 2 Corinthians 5:11-21

• Day 3: 1 Corinthians 13

• Day 4: Ephesians 5:1-14

• Day 5: Matthew 5:23-26; Numbers 5:5-7; Luke 15:18-19

• Day 6: Philemon 1-25

WHAT’S BEING DISCUSSED WITH MENTORS

• How does fear prevent you from loving others like Christ? Give specific examples from your own life (confronting difficult situations, evangelism, etc.)

• Have you ever used your knowledge and intellect as a source of pride to beat people down rather than build them up? Give examples.

• Describe times when your own idolatry has distorted your judgment in acting according to God’s will.

• In Matthew 5:23, the Lord teaches the importance of being reconciled prior to bringing our gifts before the altar. Describe situations in which you offended someone with whom you need to be reconciled.

• Are there people or institutions who you are unwilling to confess to and make restitution? Be specific.

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ADMINISTRATION (10 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Open in prayer. Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

ü Remind of group guidelines that may have previously been crossed.

ü Did participants complete weekly homework, meet with their mentor, listen to teaching and attend small groups?

REVIEW, ASK AND LISTEN (30 MINUTES)

Offer help: In the upcoming week, we will continue to examine faith in action. Each group member will need to set aside time with the Lord to complete daily devotionals, to meet with their Mentors and begin thinking through confronting injustice. Next week’s teaching will be on confronting and forgiving sin. Communicate that if anyone is struggling with any part of the program, you are available to help after the session.

Foster Gospel-centered community through reconciliation. God offers reconciliation of our hearts to Him so we might be ambassadors of His love to others. The gospel is the only way we can be truly reconciled to Him. As He changes us, we get to be a testimony to others and seek reconciliation with those we have sinned against.

QUESTIONS FOR SMALL GROUP:

1. What stuck out to you during large group tonight?

2. Was apologizing or pursuing reconciliation a part of your family of origin? How so/not?

3. Have you ever received an amends or apology that was healing? If so, what was kind or helpful to you about the way they did it? Leaders: We are only looking for positive examples here.

4. What fears, concerns or challenges do you see that might hinder making amends? Is this a wisdom issue or a willingness issue?

5. What self-oriented motivations for amends do you need to lay on the altar in order to please Christ as you pursue reconciliation with others?

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (10 MINUTES)

Reintegrate: Emphasize the hope of the gospel from this session’s teaching.

2 Corinthians 5:11-21 – We have been made new as representatives of the King, acting on behalf of the king under the authority of the King. We have been given a message of hope and love. In all of our relationships, we should be thinking, acting and speaking on His behalf.

Possible additional Scriptures to use to encourage:

• 1 John 4:18

• 1 Corinthians 13

Read Truth From this Week: Relationships break down because of sin. If there were no sin in the world, relationships would work harmoniously, evidenced by love and unity. Division among God’s people provides opportunities to identify sin and purify the body. The gospel of Jesus Christ brings about justice in a way that the law cannot by inwardly reconciling the very heart of injustice to God. As those forgiven by God, we can humbly approach those affected

by our sin and make amends. This change of heart brings glory to God by demonstrating the power of the gospel and reflecting His heart in bringing justice through His reconciled people.

RESPOND (5 MINUTES)

PRAY: COVER WITH THE GOSPEL (5 MINUTES)

As participants are transparent and bare their souls, it is important that we cover them with the gospel in prayer as we conclude.

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Look for opportunities to encourage participants to be open with each other. Encourage community inter-dependence (even outside of group time).

o Begin reaching out to Participants and encouraging them to share at Celebration Night. They will be asked to prepare an answer or two from a list of questions we will provide. Ask them what they are feeling especially grateful for. What do they feel led to share about? Especially if they are not seeing any evidence of change, encourage them with one or two ways you saw God working in their life this semester.

o Follow up with those who are making amends in their relationships.

o Remind them of their reconciliation with the Lord as they seek reconciliation with others

o Reach out to anyone in your life with whom you may need to pursue reconciliation or make amends.

REFLECTION

SEEING THROUGH GOD’S EYES

• Where is the group as a whole?

• Is there anything that you need to take note of regarding individual members?

• Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

• How could you encourage the group or individual members?

• What scriptures speak to the situation?

• Are there specific group guidelines or group dynamics that would be good to reiterate?

PRAY FOR GROUP AND MEMBERS

Join with your apprentice(s) in asking the Lord to move in the hearts and lives of group members and watch for Him to move.

J o yful Living

Meeting #14 (Celebration)

OVERVIEW

Truth From this Week:

Before the foundations of the earth, God chose us, the church, to live as instruments of His grace to a lost and dying world, bearing witness to His wisdom and power through the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is our joy-filled worship to make much of His name. Empowered by the Holy Spirit, we bring a comprehensive gospel, demonstrated by our deeds and proclaimed by our words with the goal of glorifying God through making disciples for Jesus Christ. In this way, we embody Christ, being His hands and feet here on earth.

Session Goal:

The goal of this session is to provide a platform for participants to share about the lifechange that has occurred through the power of Jesus Christ.

Small Group Helps:

o This week we are asking you to share one encouraging and redemptive thing about each group member out loud during the group time (during “Speak and Encourage”). Please pray through your group list and write those encouraging things that the Lord brings to your mind in the blanks in that section of the following outline.

Large Group Info:

Large Group Teaching: “The Joy of Making Much of His Name” (Video Session 12)

Video length = 23:06 (shorter)

WHERE THEY’RE COMING FROM

WHAT’S BEING DISCUSSED WITH MENTORS

THE POST-THRIVE ACTION PLAN:

1. To choose a topic for your action plan, go back and review your Assessments. Look at the “Gospel Pursuits” sections of each and choose something from what’s listed.

Examples:

o Anger and Resentment (People, Institutions, Spiritual principles)

o Sexual Immorality (Pornography)

o Guilt & Shame (Self-righteousness, Critical, Unlovable)

o Fear (Of rejections/loneliness, of the unknown/the future, of conflict/confrontation)

o Grief (Loss of a relationship, death of a loved one)

2. What setting or place is especially difficult for you when it comes to this struggle?

(Choose real life situations.)

Examples:

o When I am alone

o Meeting with my supervisor at work

o Scrolling through social media

o Visiting family

3. What triggers might set you off? Triggers can be physical (not being able to sleep at night, being hungry) mental (thinking about things from your past, rehearsing something you did/said in your mind), or emotional (I felt lonely, depressed, or exhausted).

4. What people or things might be taking God’s place in your heart?

(Refer to the “What Part of Self Was Threatened” in the each of the assessment sections)

Examples:

o Self-esteem – the desire for love, worth, and value

o Personal relationship – the desire to belong and have meaningful relationships

o Material security – the desire to feel materially secure or gain material wealth

o Emotional security – the desire or drive for peace of mind and emotional security

o Sexual relations/sexuality – sexual desires

o Ambition – future plans and hopes in any of the previous areas

5. What lies from the enemy continue to have an influence on you?

(Refer back to the “Getting to the Roots” section you already completed.)

6. What actions keep you responding to your (sin, suffering, specific struggle) in a way that impacts your life negatively?

For Example:

o Rehearsing the details of conversations from a specific situation in my mind (bitterness)

o Not monitoring my inner thought life

o Not having internet restrictions on my computer and/or phone

o Avoiding being vulnerable with others

o Choosing to sweep my feelings under the rug

7. What actions keep you close to the Lord?

Choose from the following list and/or add your own ideas below.

o Ongoing confession (review individual prayer prompts from assessments if needed)

- Being completely honest

- Talking out loud to a safe person

- Telling the full background story in detail

- Revealing thoughts, desires, and emotions

- Taking enough time to process and pray

- Reaching out during the time of need

- Turning away from sin

o Morning and evening devotions

o Scripture meditation or memorization

o Spending time with my close friends

o Practicing rhythms of Sabbath

o Serving the needs of others

o Attending my small group

These actions are your action plan. Work with your Mentor to hold you accountable to taking a further step now that the structure of Thrive is no longer a part of your daily/weekly spiritual commitment.

Ask your Mentor and members of your Thrive small group to pray for you in areas of temptation that you’ve identified above.

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER AND ACCOUNTABILITY (5 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Open in prayer. Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

Did participants complete weekly homework, meet with their mentor, listen to teaching and attend small groups?

REVIEW, ASK AND LISTEN (30 MINUTES)

Offer help: In concluding Thrive, participants should be encouraged to begin to implement their aftercare plan by seeking out gospel-centered community, service, worship and multiplication. First steps might be a local service opportunity or even an international mission trip. As His witnesses, having received power, encourage participants toward sharing with others what God has been doing. Offer to help get connected to the local church context. (See handout or website.)

Foster gospel-centered community through obedience. God desires our obedience. In becoming fruitful for His kingdom, we see the kingdom multiply. We began our study by introducing people to the God we worship so that He might be known. As we get to know God, we fall in love with Him. He is just that good. So to truly know Him is to love Him. To love Him is to trust Him. To trust Him is to obey Him.

QUESTIONS FOR SMALL GROUP:

1. Maintaining healthy rhythms is essential to maintaining spiritual health. A healthy disciple serves. Gospel ingestion without gospel expression will lead to unfruitfulness. How do you feel led to use your time, gifts and resources to serve within the church to make disciples? Who has God already placed in your life that you can begin intentionally investing in? Where is the Lord leading you?

2. What opportunities do you see in the context of your current relationships (family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, etc.) to make much of the name of Jesus? What does being more intentional in these relationships look like?

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (15 MINUTES)

Speak redemptively: Share with your group your encouragement as you reflected this past week on the progress of the group and each of the group members.

PRAY: COVER WITH THE GOSPEL (5 MINUTES)

Thank God for the gifts He has given to you and your group this semester. Praise Him for who He is, what He’s done, and what He has promised to do.

TRANSITION (5 MINUTES)

Make sure your group has enough time for a restroom break before heading into the Large Group Celebration service

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Follow up with each mentor and group member to make sure there is an aftercare plan that includes gospel-saturated community, gospel-motivated workshop and gospelempowered ministry and mission.

o Consider planning a time (a month or so) after Thrive is over for the group to come together for a social.

o Reach out to your co-leader, thank them and pray with them.

B o n u s

ONE ADDITIONAL

GROUP MEETING OUTLINE

Be a Disciple Who Makes D isc iples

BONUS | Meeting #15 (Covering Bonus Work)

OVERVIEW

1 CORINTHIANS 9:24-27

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. 25Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. 26So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. 27But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

Truth From this Week:

We continue in the fear of the Lord, putting to death those things that rob us of our affections for Christ while persevering in loving, joyful obedience to Him. When we are out of step with the Spirit, we quickly return to the Lord with a heart of repentance as He trains us in godliness and grows us spiritually.

Since He is our ultimate joy, peace and pleasure, we seek to know Him and fill ourselves with those things that stir our affections for Him. We practice spiritual disciplines so that our hearts, prone to wander, might stay in rhythm with His.

Session Goal:

The goal of this session is to lead participants to be intentional in thinking about how to establish healthy rhythms or spiritual practices (disciplines) so that they might know, enjoy and become like Jesus. It is in Him that we are strengthened to withstand adversity.

Small Group Helps:

• Start the conversation about what’s next for them. Encourage them toward community and being in the word/bible study/community.

• Begin thinking about potential leaders in your group.

o Those that completed and applied the work to their own lives.

o Can articulate clear transformation in their relationship with the Lord.

o Those that have some foundation in the Lord and you could see either mentoring or group leading.

Be a Disciple Who Makes Disciples

Large Group Info:

• Large Group Teaching: “Persevering and Pursuing” (Video Session 11)

Video length = 25:28 (short)

• Covers the idea of pursuing treasure.

WHERE THEY’RE COMING FROM THIS WEEK’S SCRIPTURES

• Day 1: Hebrews 12:1-17

• Day 2: James 1:2-18

• Day 3: Philippians 3:2-21

• Day 4: 1 Corinthians 9:24-27; Matthew 6:1-18

• Day 5: Psalm 63; Ephesians 5:15-21

• Day 6: Luke 8:4-15

WHAT’S BEING DISCUSSED WITH MENTORS

• What sin or weight do you need to lay aside in order to run the race well?

• What trials are you currently facing in your life? What ways are you tempted to shortcut God's purposes of sanctification while under trial?

• What fruit would you expect in your life when you are walking by the Spirit? How does this express itself in your life with the people and circumstances you encounter (family, coworkers, children, prayer life, etc.)?

• What practices will need to remain in your life after this study is over to maintain spiritual health and continued growth?

• With which ground (from Luke 8:5-8) do you most identify? Do you typically disregard God's call to obedience, do you become discouraged, are you distracted or does it shape you?

• If you were to utilize all that Christ has entrusted to you for His Kingdom purposes, what would change?

• When you are thirsting in the wilderness, where does your soul turn for satisfaction? What does this reveal about your heart? Does this lead to fruitfulness in difficulty?

• On what do you tend to obsess, fantasize, meditate or dwell? Be specific. What is the result (fear, lust, anger, anxiety, depression, worship, praise, joy, etc.)?

• What stirs your affections for Christ?

• Being undisciplined leads to laziness or apathy. How are you disciplined in daily engaging spiritual disciplines? If you are undisciplined, why?

• What does a disciplined life look like specifically for you?

• What is your goal and motivation in living a disciplined life?

• Are there things you need to say no to in order to say yes to the Lord? How does keeping Him first in your heart affect how you relate to your spouse, work, family, friends, food, sex, etc.?

WHEN YOU MEET

PRAYER, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ADMINISTRATION (10 MINUTES)

PRAYER:

Open in prayer. Ask God to bless your time together and make it fruitful for His kingdom and to lead the session through His Word and the Holy Spirit as you submit to Him.

ACCOUNTABILITY:

ü Remind of group guidelines that may have previously been crossed.

ü Did participants complete weekly homework, meet with their mentor, listen to teaching and attend small groups?

REVIEW, ASK AND LISTEN (30 MINUTES)

Offer help: In the upcoming week we will continue to examine faith in action. Each group member will need to set aside time with the Lord to complete daily devotionals, to meet with their mentors and continue to think through ongoing healthy rhythms and aftercare. Next week’s teaching will be on being fruitful and multiplying.

Foster gospel-centered community through pursuing God. We pursue the things we love. If we treasure Christ above all things, we will order our lives and our practices to get more of Him. We become what we behold. If we see Him as beautiful, we will want to become like Him and live the way He lived.

QUESTIONS FOR SMALL GROUP:

1. What was your biggest takeaway from your time in the Word and with your Mentor this week?

2. We pursue the things we love. If someone examined your pursuits and practices, what would they conclude is your biggest treasure?

3. How would your life look different if Jesus was your greatest treasure and becoming like Him was your greatest goal? Try to be specific.

4. Maintaining healthy rhythms takes intentionality. Thrive has provided both the structure and accountability to practice the basic principles of spiritual formation that help us to grow spiritually. How do you intend to continue the practice of these principles once Thrive is over?

SPEAK AND ENCOURAGE (10 MINUTES)

Use this time to encourage the group.

Speak redemptively: Introduce participants to Scripture that speaks to their circumstances. Remind them of the promises and character of God.

Reintegrate: Emphasize the hope of the gospel of Jesus from this session’s teaching.

Ephesians 5:18 – We have been made alive in Jesus Christ. We have been given the Holy Spirit. We are told to “be filled with the Spirit.” This nourishment of our spiritual lives allows us to be poured out in a lifestyle of worship, which motivates our ministry to those around us.

Truth from This Week: We continue in the fear of the Lord, putting to death those things that rob us of our affections for Christ while persevering in loving, joyful obedience to Him. When we are out of step with the Spirit, we quickly return to the Lord with a heart of repentance as He trains us in godliness and grows us spiritually.

Possible Scriptures to use to encourage:

• Psalm 63:1

• Psalm 119 (various passages)

• Hebrews 11:6

• 1 Timothy 4:7-8

RESPOND (5 MINUTES)

PRAY: COVER WITH THE GOSPEL (5 MINUTES)

As participants are transparent and bare their souls, it is important that we cover them with the gospel in prayer as we conclude.

AFTER YOU MEET

SHEPHERDING TASKS

o Encourage participants to consider serving in the church, possibly as Thrive Apprentice Group Leaders or Mentors.

o Recommend participants who may be qualified to become Thrive Mentors and Apprentice Group Leaders.

o Consider planning a time (a month or so) after Thrive is over for the group to come together for a social.

REFLECTION

SEEING THROUGH GOD’S EYES

• Where is the group as a whole?

• Is there anything that you need to take note of regarding individual members?

• Were any lies spoken about the truths of God and His character?

• How could you encourage the group or individual members?

• What scriptures speak to the situation?

• Are there specific group guidelines or group dynamics that would be good to reiterate?

PRAY FOR GROUP AND MEMBERS

Join with your apprentice(s) in asking the Lord to move in the hearts and lives of group members and watch for Him to move.

A p p e n d i c e s

& GLOSSARY

Glossary of Theological Terms

Mostly in order of when introduced or explained:

Term Definition

Introduced Phase GREAT COMMISSION, THE

The instructions Jesus gave to His followers after He rose from the dead and before He returned to heaven. In Matthew 28:18-20, Jesus tells His disciples to go into the world, help others become His followers (called “disciples”), baptize them, and teach them to obey everything He taught. This mission wasn’t just for those first disciples it’s a calling for all Christians today. The Great Commission reminds us that Jesus has all authority and that He promises to be with us as we share His message with others.

BAPTISM

RECONCILED / RECONCILIATION

A public act to show that a person has decided to follow Jesus. They are briefly fully submerged in water as a symbol of being washed clean from sin and starting a new life with God. Baptism doesn’t save a person, but it shows others that the person trusts in Jesus and wants to live for Him. In the Bible, Jesus was baptized, and He told His followers to baptize others who believe in Him (see Matthew 28:19; Romans 6:3-4).

With God: To be “reconciled” means that a broken relationship has been made right again. In the Bible, reconciliation describes how the relationship between God and people damaged because of sin is restored. This restoration begins with God. He took the first step by sending Jesus as a perfect sacrifice to die in our place so that we could be forgiven and brought back into relationship with our loving Father (see Romans 5:10-11; 2 Corinthians 5:18-19). When someone responds to God’s offer by trusting in Jesus, the reconciliation is complete they are no longer separated from God but are part of His family. Because of this, Christians are also called to pursue peace and restored relationships with others. Between People: When two people are reconciled, it means their relationship once hurt or broken has been made right again. This usually involves one or both people being willing to forgive, to admit wrong,

SIN

JUSTIFICATION

and to work toward restoring trust. In the Bible, reconciliation between people reflects God’s heart: just as He took the first step to make things right with us through Jesus, we’re called to take steps toward peace with others (see Matthew 5:23–24; Colossians 3:13). Reconciliation doesn’t always mean the relationship goes back to exactly how it was, but it does mean choosing to forgive, pursue peace, and honor God in how we relate to one another.

Sin is anything we think, say, or do that goes against God’s perfect character, commands, or design. It includes breaking God’s laws, but also failing to do what is right. Sin separates people from God because He is holy and cannot ignore evil. All people have sinned (Romans 3:23), and the result of sin is spiritual death and brokenness in our relationship with God and others.

Justification means God declares a person right with Him because of what Jesus has done not because of anything we’ve earned. When someone trusts in Jesus, God forgives their sin and sees them as righteous. It happens instantly and is a free gift, received by faith (see Romans 5:1; Ephesians 2:8–9). Because of justification, we are fully accepted by God and no longer under His judgment.

Day 1

Days 1-2

JUSTICE

PROPHECY

JUDGEMENT

Justice is God’s perfect way of always doing what is right and fair. It means that God treats everyone according to what they deserve rewarding good and punishing wrong. Because God is holy and just, sin must be punished.

Prophecy is when God, through His Spirit, speaks to His people by using someone to deliver His message. Often, this message includes warnings, calls to repentance, encouragement, or revealing what God plans to do in the future. The Bible shows many prophets, like Isaiah and Jeremiah, who spoke God’s words so people would know His will (see 2 Peter 1:20-21, Amos 3:7).

Judgment is when God, who is perfectly holy and just, decides the final outcome for every person based on their words and actions (Hebrews 9:27). Because all people have sinned, everyone will one day stand

Day 2

Day 3

Day 5

CONDEMNED / CONDEMNATION

before God’s judgment (Romans 14:10-12). Those who have trusted in Jesus will be declared righteous and receive eternal life, but those who reject Him will face punishment for their sins (John 5:22-29).

To be condemned means to be declared guilty and punished for sin. The Bible teaches that all people deserve condemnation because of their sins (Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23). Condemnation is God’s righteous judgment against sin.

GOSPEL

REDEMPTION / REDEEMED

Historical: Long before it was used in the Bible to describe Jesus’ message, it referred generally to any announcement of “good news” or “glad tidings.” such as the news of a king’s victory, a birth, or a peace treaty in ancient times. This word carried the idea of royal or imperial good news that people were called to receive and respond to.

Gospel of Jesus Christ: The gospel is the good news about Jesus Christ. It tells us that because of our sins, we are separated from God (Romans 3:23). But God loves us so much that He sent His Son, Jesus, to live a perfect life, die on the cross for our sins, and rise again (1 Corinthians 15:3-4). Through faith in Jesus, we can be forgiven, made right with God, and have eternal life (John 3:16, Ephesians 2:8-9).

Redemption means being rescued or bought back from sin and its consequences by the price Jesus paid. Because we were slaves to sin and death, Jesus “redeemed” us by His death on the cross, paying the full price to set us free (Ephesians 1:7, Colossians 1:13-14). When we are redeemed, we belong to God, forgiven and restored to a right relationship with Him.

Day 7

Large Group Teaching

REPENTANCE / REPENT

Repentance means to sincerely turn away from sin and turn toward God. It’s a change of heart and mind that leads to a change in actions. The Bible calls us to repent because our sins separate us from God (Acts 3:19, Luke 13:3). When we repent, we admit our wrong, thank God for His forgiveness, and choose to orient our attention to Him instead.

Unrepentant: To refuse to turn away from sin and reject God’s call to change. The Bible warns that those who remain unrepentant will face God’s judgment (Romans 2:5-8, Hebrews 10:26-27).

Large Group Teaching

SUBMISSION

WORSHIP

OBEDIENCE

Willingly placing yourself under the authority, leadership, or care of another, out of respect and trust. In the Bible, submission is about surrendering to God. This extends to His design for order in relationships like in the church, the family, or government (Ephesians 5:21-24, Romans 13:1). True submission is not about weakness, but about standing strong in trust for God and choosing to follow Him by respecting those He has placed in leadership.

Our response to who God is and what He has done. It is a heart orientation that gives God the honor, love, and praise He deserves with our words, our actions, and our affections (Romans 12:1, John 4:23-24).

Worship can include singing, praying, learning from God’s Word, serving others, or simply living in a way that shows God is first in our lives. True worship comes from knowing God and wanting to glorify Him.

Doing what God says, out of love and trust for Him. It’s not about trying to earn His approval, but about responding to His grace with a willing heart. Jesus said that if we love Him, we will obey His commands (John 14:15). Obedience shows that we believe God’s ways are best and that we want to follow Him in every part of life (James 1:22, 1 John 2:3-6).

Day 1

GRATITUDE

Day 1

SALVATION

A thankful heart toward God for who He is and all He has done. In the Bible, we are called to give thanks in every situation because God is always good and faithful (1 Thessalonians 5:18, Psalm 107:1). Gratitude is not just saying “thank you,” but living in a way that shows we remember and appreciate God's grace, mercy, and daily provision. The opposite is grumbling or forgetting what God has done (Philippians 2:14, Deuteronomy 8:11).

God rescuing us from sin and its eternal punishment, and giving us everlasting life through Jesus (Ephesians 2:8-9). It comes by grace, through faith not by our own efforts. The opposite is remaining lost in sin and separated from God forever (Romans 6:23, John 3:36).

Day 1

FAITH

RIGHTEOUS / UNRIGHTEOUS

Faith means trusting God believing in who He is, what He says, and what He’s done through Jesus even though we can’t see or touch Him like we do the physical world (Hebrews 11:1). Faith isn’t based on feelings or visible proof, but on confidence in God’s Word and His character. It’s depending on Him, not ourselves, to save us and lead us (Hebrews 11:1, Ephesians 2:8). The opposite of faith is relying only on what we can see, feel, or control, instead of trusting God with our lives (2 Corinthians 5:7).

To be righteous means to be right in God’s eyes living according to His ways and being in right standing with Him. On our own, no one is righteous because we all make mistakes (Romans 3:10). But God freely gives us the righteousness of Jesus, His Son, when we trust in Him (2 Corinthians 5:21).

To be unrighteous means living apart from God’s ways, continuing in sin, rejecting the free gift of Jesus, and standing guilty before a perfect God (1 Corinthians 6:9).

HOLY

WISDOM

FORBEARANCE

To be holy means to be set apart by God as pure and different from sin. God is perfectly holy completely good and without any sin (1 Peter 1:15-16). When we follow Jesus, God calls us to live holy lives, turning away from sin and reflecting His goodness. The opposite of holy is sinful and unclean (Isaiah 6:3, Romans 6:19).

Wisdom is knowing and doing what is right according to God’s Word. It means understanding life from God’s perspective and making choices that please Him (Proverbs 2:6, James 1:5). True wisdom comes only from God and leads us to live in a way that honors Him. Worldly wisdom on the other hand, is not real wisdom and is based on human knowledge or ideas that are independent of God, often leading to pride and wrong choices (1 Corinthians 3:19, James 3:13-17). The opposite of God’s wisdom is foolishness ignoring God’s guidance and making harmful choices (Proverbs 1:7, Romans 1:22).

Patiently enduring wrongs or suffering without giving up or getting angry. It is God’s kindness in holding back punishment and giving people time to repent

Day 1

Day 2

Day 4

COVENANT

(Romans 2:4, Psalm 86:15). We are called to show forbearance to others by forgiving and being patient, just as God is patient with us. The opposite is impatience or harshness toward others (Ephesians 4:2, Colossians 3:13).

In ancient cultures, covenants were like extending a family bond joining two parties in a permanent relationship, often described as lasting “until death.” This alliance meant both families would protect and defend each other as if they were blood relatives. Covenants included agreed-upon behaviors so that those joined would treat each other like brothers. In the Bible, a covenant is a solemn promise between God and His people. God promises to bless and care for them, and they agree to obey Him. In the Old Testament, God made covenants with Noah (promising never to flood the earth again), Abraham (promising to bless his descendants), and Moses (giving the Law to guide His people). These covenants pointed forward to the New Covenant through Jesus, who perfectly fulfilled God’s promises by offering forgiveness and new life to all who believe (Jeremiah 31:31-34; Hebrews 8:6-13).

Day 6

ADOPTION

SANCTIFICATION

Adoption is God’s special way of making us His children. In the Bible’s ancient context, being adopted as a son meant receiving full rights as an heir someone who would inherit everything the father owned and carry on the family name (Romans 8:15, Galatians 4:4-7). This shows God’s view of both men and women as equal heirs in His Kingdom. When we trust in Jesus, God welcomes us into His family with all these rights and blessings. Adoption means we are no longer slaves to sin, but part of God’s forever family, fully accepted and loved.

The process by which God makes us holy, changing us to be more and more like Jesus in how we think, live, and love (1 Thessalonians 4:3, Romans 8:29). It begins when we trust Jesus and continues throughout our whole earthly life as the Holy Spirit helps us grow. The opposite is living in sin without change or growth (1 Corinthians 6:11).

Day 7

Week 4

Large Group Teaching

GLORIFIED

CONVERSION

To be made perfect and like Jesus forever. It happens when believers receive new, eternal bodies and live with God forever in heaven (Romans 8:30, 1 Corinthians 15:42-44). Being glorified is the final step after salvation and sanctification.

The moment and process when a person turns from sin and turns to God by trusting in Jesus. It involves a change of heart and mind, a decision to follow Christ, and beginning a new life with God (Acts 3:19, 2 Corinthians 5:17). Conversion is the start of our relationship with God and the beginning of spiritual growth.

Large Group Teaching

COSMIC / SPIRITUAL REALM

SOVEREIGNTY

The metaphysical, unseen world where God, angels, and spiritual forces exist and influence our lives (Ephesians 6:12). Other physical with things that we can see like family, friends, culture, geography, and civilization are all encompassed within this spiritual realm. Understanding this helps us see that not all struggles come just from our environment or ourselves, but also from spiritual battles beyond what we can see. It also helps us see God’s sovereignty (or rule) is over all of these things.

Sovereignty means God is in complete control over everything in the universe. Nothing happens outside of His power or plan, and He rules with wisdom and goodness (Psalm 115:3, Isaiah 46:9-10). This means God is never surprised or powerless. The opposite is chaos or chance, where things happen without order or purpose.

Large Group Teaching

Large Group Teaching Week 5

PETITION

RESTITUTION

When we ask God to help us or meet our needs. It’s a form of prayer where we bring our requests to God, trusting that He hears us and cares about what we need (Philippians 4:6, 1 Peter 5:7). Petition shows our dependence on God and our faith in His goodness. (Other forms of prayer include praise, thanksgiving, lament, and intercession.)

Restitution means doing what you can to make things right after causing harm, such as returning what was stolen or repairing damage (Exodus 22:1, Luke 19:8). It flows from genuine repentance and shows a heart that wants to honor God and take responsibility. But the Bible also shows that sometimes full restitution

Large Group Teaching Week 9

isn’t possible, and in those cases, we trust God's grace to cover what we cannot fix (Psalm 51:16-17, Romans 12:18).

Appen dix A

Thrive for Recovery

Appendix A

THRIVE FOR RECOVERY

Here are some additional points to consider when applying what you’re hearing about Thrive to the pathway of recovery.

We are all in recovery.

Here are some additional points to consider when applying what you’re hearing about Thrive to the pathway of recovery.

We are all in recovery.

Gospel ministry is directed toward anyone seeking help in overcoming the otherwise enslaving interplay of sin and suffering. Thrive is for anyone pursuing redemption from this sin and suffering.

Another word for this journey of ups and downs on the road of life is sanctification. If you were to chart out anyone’s spiritual journey, you might find a chart that looks something like the below example. We are overall moving up and to the right, but we face stumbling blocks, plateaus, and victories along life’s journey. While not smooth, these opportunities can lead us to worship God in our responses.

something like the below example. We are overall moving up and to the right, but we these opportunities can lead us to worship God in our responses.

PROGRESSIVE SANCTIFICATION

Recovery cannot be reduced to a program.

God’s redeeming work is not confined to a program. To reduce God’s deliverance to a program is sectarian and borders on cultish. This sort of thinking leads people to fear leaving programs. There are those who are being delivered from the bondage of sin in Christ and those who remain in their sin. So we are either enslaved or in Christ. In Christ, we can go anywhere He calls us! We graduate from programs into faithful service.

Sobriety is a by- product.

a program is sectarian and borders on cultish. This sort of thinking leads people to fear leaving programs. There are those who are being delivered from the bondage of sin in Christ and those who remain in their sin. So we are either enslaved or in faithful service.

Sobriety is a by-product.

Sobriety is not the goal, but a by-product. Reconciliation with God is the goal. Only the gospel can reconcile us to God. As our hearts are reconciled to His, it changes how we relate to everything.

1

STEP 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 1: Man, in relationship to his Creator, has fallen from a place of dignity, humility and dependence to a state of depravity, pride and rebellion. This has led to unfathomable suffering. Any attempts on our own to redeem ourselves are futile, only increasing the problem of independence and self-sufficiency. Any perceived success leads only to empty vanity. Apart from Christ, we admitted we are powerless to overcome sin (ours and others) and our attempts to control it only increase our chaos.

2

STEP 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 2: God lovingly intervened into our chaos and provided a remedy for the insanity of sin and the way back into fellowship with Him. We believe that by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, we can be redeemed.

3

STEP 3: We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as you understand him.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 3: Through the Holy Spirit’s illumination of our desperate and helpless condition before God and the hope that comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ, we step out in faith and repent as an act of worship and obedience, surrendering our will and entrusting our lives to Christ’s care and control. We are reborn spiritually and rescued from the domain of darkness and brought into the kingdom of light, where we now live as a part of Christ’s ever advancing kingdom.

4

STEP 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 4: As children of God, armed with the Holy Spirit and standing firm in the gospel, we engage in the spiritual battle over the reign and rule of our hearts. God set us apart for holiness, and we look to put to death the areas of our lives that keep us from reflecting Jesus Christ to a dark and dying world. We first examine the fruit in our lives (or moral symptoms). As we move through the assessment process, we will uncover the roots (pride and idolatry) of any ungodly fruit that drive our ungodly thoughts, actions and emotions.

5

STEP 5: We admitted before God, ourselves and another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 5: Under the covering of God’s grace, we step out in faith, leaving behind our old, self-protective ways of covering sin and hiding from God. We prayerfully come into the light, confessing our sins before God and to one another so that we may be healed.

6

STEP 6: We are entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEPS 6: In attempting to live independent of God, we have developed dysfunctional (sinful) patterns of coping. After careful examination, we have begun to see the demonic roots of our slavery to these sinful patterns. We desire freedom.

7

STEP 7: We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEPS 7: We renounce our former ways, offer ourselves to God and, under the waterfall of His grace, ask Him to deliver and heal us by the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. We also pray for blessing and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live life according to His kingdom purposes.

8-9

STEP 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

STEP 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEPS 8 & 9: Relationships break down because of sin. If there were no sin in the world, relationships would work harmoniously, evidenced by love and unity. Division among God’s people provides opportunities to identify sin and purify the body. The gospel of Jesus Christ brings about justice in a way that the law cannot by inwardly reconciling the very heart of injustice to God. As those forgiven by God, we can humbly approach those affected by our sin and make amends. This change of heart brings glory to God by demonstrating the power of the gospel and reflecting His heart in bringing justice through His reconciled people.

ADDITIONAL TRUTH FROM STEPS 8 & 9: As ambassadors of Christ, we are to be instruments of grace when we confront those who sin against us. We hand offenses over to God and extend eager forgiveness to those who ask for it. In this way fellowship, with God and amongst His people, is preserved.

STEP 10: We continued to take personal assessment and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 10: We continue in the fear of the Lord, putting to death those things that rob our affections for Christ while persevering in loving, joyful obedience to Him. When we are out of step with the Spirit, we quickly return to the Lord with a heart of repentance as He trains us in godliness and grows us spiritually.

11

STEP 11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for the knowledge of His will and the power to carry that out.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 11: Since He is our ultimate joy, peace and pleasure, we seek to know Him and fill ourselves with those things that stir our affections for Him. We practice spiritual disciplines so that our hearts, prone to wander, might stay in rhythm with His

12

STEP 12: Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEPS 12: Before the foundations of the earth, God chose us, the church, to live as instruments of His grace to a lost and dying world, bearing witness to His wisdom and power through the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is our joy-filled worship to make much of His name. Empowered by the Holy Spirit, we bring a comprehensive gospel demonstrated by our deeds and proclaimed by our words with the goal of glorifying God through making disciples for Jesus Christ. In this way, we embody Christ, being His hands and feet here on earth.

Appendi x B

Concept

of God

INSTRUCTIONS:

• Read the following statements and write down your initial thoughts.

• We are looking for true feelings about God, not the theologically correct answers.

• Your first thought is probably your most honest response.

PROMPTS:

1. When I think about God, I feel

2. Sometimes I wish God would

3. What frustrates me most about God is

4. Sometimes I get angry with God when

5. The one thing I would change in my relationship with God is

6. The one thing I would change about myself to please God is

7. The secret thought about God that I struggle with is

8. The one question about God that I would like to have answered is

9. One person who reminds me of God is

10. The one thing I have the most trouble trusting God with is

11. I would like to tell everyone that God is

12. When I think about God’s commands, I

13. One thing I’m afraid God will do is

14. In my relationship with God, I’m always sure that He will

15. The one thing I depend on God for is

Appendix C Insanity Cycle

SEEING THE INSANITY FOR

SPIRITUAL ILLNESS

need to change the way I feel. I’m edgy. Something’s off. I need something. I’m discouraged, walking in the flesh, grumbling, complaining, offended, etc. What is yours? Irritability, restlessness, discontentment, anxiety, sadness, grief, no peace?

DESIRE FOR RELIEF – With a bent towards solving my own problems (heart of self-reliance), I run to creation for ease and comfort instead of the Creator. As the famous hymn “Come Thou Fount” says, my heart is “prone to wander,” to be led away toward sin. I don’t want to feel this way. (Who likes feeling this way?) Where are you seeking relief apart from the Lord? These may include “respectable” things such as exercise, rest, food, etc.)

TEMPTATION – I compare, seeing others enjoying themselves or able to do the things I can’t do. I think [this] will take the edge off – things will be better when I ____. The “forbidden fruit” (Genesis 2:17) is alluring and shiny. I am convinced this is the remedy (I’m seeking a dopamine rush.) What is tempting you?

THINK / OBSESS – Planning, plotting toward the desired relief that is to come. I might start obsessing about a fix for my restlessness and discontentedness. What are some indicators you are dwelling or obsessing?

ACTION – Making or cancelling plans. Making mental excuses to be alone with my sin. This could include getting in the car, going to the store or opening the internet browser, making a purchase, etc. I am sinfully finding relief in creation apart from the Creator. AA would call this “the first drink.” What do you do to get the relief you’re after?

SPREE – An all-out effort and indulgence – temporarily forgetting everything else. It’s the next high, hit, purchase, game, risk, etc. It’s short-lived, even though it may sound like it will last a long time. What does it look like when you indulge fully in your sin? What does “all the way” look like for you in this area? (Where does it take you? Where do you end up?)

INJURIES (PAIN) – Consequences for me and others (i.e. emotional health, loss of self-control, self-esteem; personal relationships, family; physical health, bodily harm, treatment center intervention; legal, jail time, permanent record impact; financial; professional, loss of job or independence in transportation, etc.) Ultimately, unrepentant, unconfessed sin blocks me from a relationship with my Savior (spiritual death), robbing us of the life that God intended. What type of consequences result? (For me and others.)

REMORSE – This often show up as feelings of guilt, shame and humiliation. We are either stuck in worldly sorrow or turn toward godly repentance. In what ways do you experience sorrow? Do you want God or your comfort back?

RESOLUTIONS – Making promises and deals. Saying “I will never do this again.” Making vows to God, self and others. These are made in your own strength, not the Lord’s. What promises are you making about what you will do (or not do) next time?

INTERRUPTING THE INSANITY

1. What lies am I believing?

2. Where can I find the truth?

3. How does Satan bait my hook when I am restless, irritable or discontent?

4. When I am not turning to God, where do I turn to cope with life?

5. It’s logical to start at 12 o’clock (i.e. “Spiritual Illness”), but God can enter into your cycle of sinful insanity at any place. Go back through your other answers in the first part and imagine “what if” you called out to God for help at each spot. What would that look like? For example, if you recognize that you are desiring relief, then start there. Try to articulate what is going in regard to your spiritual illness.

6. With each phase, consider what it would look like to turn to God (repentance). Do passages from Scripture apply? (For example: Romans 8:6, 2 Corinthians 10:5, and Philippians 4:8-9 would all be helpful for “Think/Obsess.”)

Appendix D

The Attributes of God

ATTENTIVE ................................

COMPASSIONATE

CREATOR

God hears and responds to the needs of His Children.

God cares for His children and acts on their behalf.

God made everything. He is uncreated.

DELIVERER God rescues and saves His children.

ETERNAL ....................................

God is not limited by time; He exists outside of time.

FAITHFUL ................................... God always keeps His promises.

GENEROUS .................................

God gives what is best and beyond what is deserved.

GLORIOUS ..................................

GOOD ..........................................

God displays His greatness and worth.

God is what is best and gives what is best. He is incapable of doing harm.

HOLY

God is perfect, pure and without sin.

IMMUTABLE/UNCHANGING ... God never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

INCOMPREHENSIBLE

INFINITE .....................................

JEALOUS ....................................

God is beyond our understanding. We can comprehend Him in part but not in whole.

God has no limits in His person or on His power.

God will not share His glory with another. All glory rightfully belongs to Him.

JUST............................................

God is fair in all His actions and judgments. He cannot overpunish or under-punish.

LOVING

MERCIFUL

OMNIPOTENT/ALMIGHTY

OMNIPRESENT

OMNISCIENT

God feels and displays infinite, unconditional affection toward His children. His love for them does not depend on their worth, response or merit.

God does not give His children the punishment they deserve.

God holds all power. Nothing is too hard for God. What He wills He can accomplish.

God is fully present everywhere.

God knows everything, past, present and future–all potential and real outcomes, all things micro and macro.

PATIENT/LONG-SUFFERING . God is untiring and bears with His children.

PROVIDER .................................. God meets the needs of His children.

REFUGE ......................................

God is a place of safety and protection for His children.

RIGHTEOUS

SELF-EXISTENT

SELF-SUFFICIENT

SOVEREIGN

TRANSCENDENT .......................

God is always good and right.

God depends on nothing and no one to give Him life or existence.

God is not vulnerable. He has no needs.

God does everything according to His plan and pleasure. He controls all things.

God is not like humans. He is infinitely higher in being and action.

TRUTHFUL Whatever God speaks or does is truth and reality.

WORTHY

God deserves all glory and honor and praise.

WRATHFUL ................................ God hates all unrighteousness.

WISE ............................................

God knows what is best and acts accordingly. He cannot choose wrongly.

A p pendix E

Our Identity

IDENTITY IN CHRIST

1. Matthew 5:13 ............... I am the salt of the earth.

2. Matthew 5:14 I am the light of the world.

3. John 1:12 ....................... I am a child of God.

4. John 15 I am part of the true vine, a branch of Christ’s life.

5. John 15:15..................... I am a friend of God.

6. John 15:16 I am chosen and appointed to bear fruit.

7. Romans 6:5 .................. I am resurrected to new life.

8. Romans 6:18 ................ I am a slave to righteousness.

9. Romans 6:22 ............... I am enslaved to God.

10. Romans 8:14 ................ I am a son of God.

11. Romans 8:17 ................ I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing his inheritance.

12. 1 Corinthians 6:19 ....... I am the dwelling place of God.

13. 1 Corinthians 6:19 ....... I am united to the Lord.

14. 1 Corinthians 12:27 ..... I am a member of Christ’s body.

15. 1 Corinthians 15:10 ...... I am what I am, by God’s grace.

16. 2 Corinthians 5:17 I am a new creation.

17. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 . I am reconciled to God.

18. Galatians 3:29 ............. I am the seed of Abraham.

19. Galatians 4:6-7 I am an heir of God since I am a son of God.

20. Ephesians 1:1 ............... I am a saint.

21. Ephesians 1:3 I am blessed with every spiritual blessing.

22. Ephesians 2:10 ............ I am God’s workmanship, made to do good works.

23. Ephesians 2:11 I am a fellow citizen of God’s family.

24. Ephesians 4:1 .............. I am a prisoner of Christ.

25. Ephesians 4:24 I am righteous and holy.

26. Philippians 3:20 .......... I am a citizen of heaven.

27. Colossians 3:3 ............. I am hidden with Christ in God.

28. Colossians 3:4 ............. I am an expression of the life of Christ.

29. Colossians 3:12 I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved.

30. 1 Thessalonians 5:5 .... I am a child of light and not darkness.

31. Titus 3:7 I am an heir to eternal life.

32. Hebrews 3:1 ................. I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling.

33. 1 Peter 2:5 I am a living stone in God’s spiritual house.

34. 1 Peter 2:9 .................... I am a member of a chosen race, a holy nation.

35. 1 Peter 2:9-10 I am a priest.

36. 1 Peter 2:11 ................... I am an alien and a stranger to the world.

37. 1 Peter 5:8 I am an enemy of the Devil.

38. 2 Peter 1:3 .................... I am participating in the divine nature.

39. 1 John 5:18 I am born of God, and the Devil cannot touch me.

IDENTITY APART FROM CHRIST

1. Genesis 6:5 .................. I am wicked and evil.

2. Isaiah 59:2.................... I am separated from God.

3. Isaiah 64:6 ................... I am filthy and stained.

4. John 8:34 ..................... I am a slave to sin.

5. Romans 1:18 ................. I am under the wrath of God.

6. Romans 3:10 ................ I am not good.

7. Romans 3:23................ I am falling short of the glory of God.

8. Romans 6:23 I am guilty and condemned.

9. 2 Corinthians 4:4 ........ I am blind to the truth.

10. 2 Corinthians 11:3 I am deceived.

11. Ephesians 2:1............... I am dead in my sins.

12. Ephesians 2:2 I am in bondage to Satan.

13. Ephesians 4:18 ............ I am hard-hearted.

14. James 2:10 I am a lawbreaker.

15. James 4:4 .................... I am an enemy of God.

Appendix F

God’s Promises to a Believer

Matthew 6:25-30 God will provide for your needs.

Matthew 11:28-30 Rest in Christ.

Matthew 21:22 Ask in His name, and you will receive.

Matthew 24:9-14 Persecution is coming.

Matthew 26:29 He is waiting to eat with you.

Matthew 28:20 He is with us always, to the end of age.

Mark 16:16 Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved.

Luke 12:27-34 He knows what you need; seek His kingdom, and what you need will be provided.

John 14:1-4 Jesus is preparing a place for you.

John 14:13-14 Ask in Jesus’ name, and He will do it so that the Father can be glorified in the Son.

John 14:27 He gives us His peace.

John 15:7-8 If you remain in Him, ask whatever you want.

John 15:5 If you remain in Christ, you will produce fruit.

John 16:13-15 The Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth.

John 16:23-24 Ask the Father in Jesus’ name, and it will be given so that your joy may be full.

Acts 1:8 You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes.

Acts 2:38-39 The promise is for you, the believer.

Romans 6:14 Sin will not rule over you.

Romans 8:27 The Holy Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Romans 8:34 Jesus is at the right hand of the Father interceding for you.

Romans 8:39 Nothing will have the power to separate you from the love of God in Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 1:8 He will strengthen you till the end.

1 Corinthians 2:13 The Holy Spirit will teach you.

1 Corinthians 2:16 You have been given the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 10:13 God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able (in His Spirit), and He will provide a way out.

1 Corinthians 15:52-57 You will be raised into an incorruptible immortal body at the resurrection of the dead.

2 Corinthians 3:18 You are being transformed into the image of Christ.

Philippians 1:6 He who started a good work in you will complete it.

Philippians 3:21 He will transform the body of our humble condition into the likeness of His glorious body.

Philippians 4:7 The peace of God will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 God is faithful; he will renew you, body, soul and spirit.

2 Thessalonians 3:3 The Lord is faithful and will strengthen and guard you from the Evil One.

Titus 3: 6-7 He has abundantly poured out His Spirit on us through Jesus, and we are heirs to the hope of eternal life.

Hebrews 7:25 He is able to save all who come to Him, and He always intercedes for them.

Hebrews 8:8-12 God will never again remember your sins.

Hebrews 10:16-17 In the new covenant God will never again remember your sins or your lawless acts.

Hebrews 13:5 God will never leave or forsake you.

1 Peter 1:3-5 Inheritance is imperishable, undefiled, uncorrupted, unfading, kept in heaven for you.

1 Peter 2:10 You are now a part of God’s people.

Revelation 21:1-7 God will dwell with us and wipe away every tear, and death will no longer exist.

Appendix G

Writing Your Own Lament Appendix G

WRITING YOUR OWN LAMENT

INTRODUCTION & INSTRUCTIONS

Psalms of lament are expressions of the trials, suffering, and emotions of life. They are examples on how to communicate with God during times of hurt. It is important to note, however, that the Psalms of Lament usually lead to praise in

This worksheet is an exercise for you to begin to write your own personal psalm of lament to cry out to God in your situation.

screen and begin to follow the following format, pouring your heart before the Lord. Consider meditating on these other Psalms of lament and use them as a source of encouragement and as an example on how you might write your psalm or pray: Psalms 3, 5, 6, 7, 13, 32, 38, 44, 51, 60, 74, 79, 80, 83, 85, 90, 102, 123, 130,137, 143.

After you complete this exercise, you may be surprised at the ways that your spiritual life will change, including your prayers and views on suffering. When we go beyond feeling sorry for ourselves, to actually bringing lament before God, confessing our trust in Him, asking Him for help and ultimately praising God for who He is no matter what situation we are in, we become changed because our focus is on something bigger than ourselves. We begin to become acquainted

who is continually delivering us from the power and effects of sin, making us more like Him. This is the Good News, the Gospel.

It is also important to note the distinction between expressing anger to God and being angry at/with God. It is acceptable to bring our doubts and questions to God as seen in the Psalms, but when we become angry at God and accuse Him of being wrong, unloving, out of control, absent, or having less wisdom than us, then we have crossed the line. (See Proverbs 19:3)

• Remember and be reassured that we are writing from a standpoint before God that is brutally honest yet fully trusting.

• Try to tap into your creative, right brain and explore how to write in the or writing in paragraphs.

• If it helps, try to think of metaphors, word pictures and similes to describe your pain or situation. These can be great avenues of expression when describing painful things in lament.

TEMPLATE FOR A FOUR-PART LAMENT

1. Cry out to God

2. Complaint

3. Petition or Request

4. Truth and Thanksgiving

mind that could help describe your situation?

LAMENT METAPHORS TO CONSIDER:

Drowning

Unrelenting rain or endless fog

Snow that never melts

Shattered glass

Carrying a heavy burden

Unending night/darkness

An empty room or emptiness

Crashing waves

Sinking sand

A broken record

Driving with no destination

Walking on eggshells

CRY OUT TO GOD

Psalm 28:

To you, O Lord, I call; My rock, be not deaf to me.

Psalm 13:

How long, O Lord?

Psalm 94:

O Lord, God of vengeance,

O God of vengeance, shine forth!

COMPLAINT

Psalm 22:

Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?

O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest.

Psalm 6:

I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes.

PETITION OR REQUEST

Psalm 6:

Return, O Lord, and rescue me. Save me because of your unfailing love.

Psalm 13:

Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.

Psalm 102:

Bend down to listen, and answer me quickly when I call to you.

TRUTH AND THANKSGIVING

Psalm 94:

But the Lord is my fortress; my God is the mighty rock where I hide.

Psalm 3:

Victory comes from you, O Lord. May you bless your people.

Psalm 60:

With God’s help we will do mighty things, for God will trample down our foes.

YOUR PSALM OF LAMENT

Let’s now attempt to put the pieces you processed previously into a psalm of lament. Take words or phrases from each of the four sections and re-phrase or format them together to form one work.

Appendix H Shepherding Verses

ABORTION

Exodus 1:17, 20-21

Deuteronomy 5:17

2 Samuel 12:23

Psalm 127:3

Psalm 113:9

Psalm 139:13-16

Isaiah 40:31

Matthew 6:33

AFFECTION NEEDS

Psalm 63:3; 86:13; 100:5

Psalm 145:8-9

John 3:16

Romans 5:8; 8:38-39

1 John 3:1; 4:7-10

1 John 4:16, 18-19

ALCOHOL

Proverbs 28:13; 29:25

1 John 1:8-9

Jeremiah 2:19

John 4:10; 8:36

Acts 1:8

Galatians 5:1, 22-23

Philippians 3:12-14

Psalm 103:12

Isaiah 40:31

Romans 8:31-37

ANGER & HOSTILITY

Psalm 103

Ephesians 1:13-14

ANXIETY

Psalm 121

Acts 27

1 Peter 5:7

Matthew 6:24-34

Philippians 4:6

BACKSLIDING

Isaiah 55:7

Hosea 14:4

Revelation 2:4-5

1 John 1:9

Hebrews 7:25

John 3:17

1 Corinthians 3:3

Proverbs 14:14

BITTERNESS

Hebrews 12:14-15

Ephesians 4:31-32

1 Peter 2:23

Matthew 6:14-15

Romans 12:14-21

CHILD ABUSE

1 Corinthians 9:25-27

Philippians 4:4-9, 13

Hebrews 1:14

Romans 12:2

James 4:7

Romans 6

CULTS

Psalm 119:104

Mark 13:21-23

2 Corinthians 11:13-15

COVETING

Exodus 20:17

1 Corinthians 12:31; 14:39

DEATH

John 14:1-3

1 Corinthians 13:12

John 11:25

Philippians 1:21

1 Kings 14:1, 13

2 Samuel 12:22-23

DEPRESSION

Psalm 27

Psalm 40:1-3

Psalm 121

Acts 27

Ephesians 1:13-14

DISCIPLINE OF CHILDREN

Deuteronomy 6:5-7

Proverbs 22:6; 19:18; 13:24; 22:15

Ephesians 6:4

1 Timothy 3:4

Titus 2:4

DISCIPLINE

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Hebrews 12:5-11

DIVORCE

Malachi 2:16

Matthew 19:1-11

Matthew 5:31-32

1 Corinthians 7:10-16

1 John 1:9

DRUGS

1 Corinthians 6:12

Ephesians 5:18

Luke 4:18-21, 36

Colossians 2:15

1 John 3:8

Galatians 5:1, 13

ENDURANCE

Psalm 40:1-3

John 11

Acts 27

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Hebrews 12:5-11

ENVY-JEALOUSY

Proverbs 14:30

1 Corinthians 3:3

Galatians 5:19-21

James 3:14-16

FEAR

Philippians 4:4-9

Psalm 103

Psalm 121

Acts 27

FORGIVENESS

Psalm 32; 103

1 John 1:9

1 Peter 1:18-19

1 Peter 2:24

Hebrews 9:22

FINANCES

Matthew 6:33

Malachi 3:8-10

Philippians 4:18-19

GOSSIP

2 Corinthians 12:20

Leviticus 19:16

1 Timothy 5:13

Luke 3

James 4:11-12

Matthew 18:15

GOD’S LOVE & ACCEPTANCE

Psalm 27

Psalm 103

Luke 15

Acts 27

GUILT

Psalm 32

Psalm 103

Luke 15

HOMOSEXUALITY

Leviticus 20:13

1 Corinthians 6:9

1 Timothy 1:10

Romans 1:21, 26-27

Romans 6:11-14, 22

HOPELESSNESS & DESPAIR

Psalm 27

Psalm 40:1-3

Psalm 103

Psalm 121

John 11

Acts 27

HOPE

Psalm 27

Psalm 40:1-3

Psalm 119

Psalm 121

Acts 27

HUMILITY

John 13:1-17

Ephesians 5:15-21

JUDGMENTAL

Matthew 7:1-2

John 8:7

Mark 11:24-25

Luke 6:41

Romans 14:4

Ephesians 6:1

LONELINESS

Psalm 121

Luke 15

John 11

Acts 27

Ephesians 1:13-14

MARRIAGE

Restoring Lost Love

Revelation 2:1-16

Husbands

Ephesians 5:15-6:20

1 Peter 3:7-9

Wives

Ephesians 5:15-6:20

1 Peter 3:1-6

ENEMIES

Exodus 23:4-5

Proverbs 24:17-18

Luke 6:27-37

Romans 12:14, 19-21

MENTAL ILLNESS

2 Timothy 1:7

Isaiah 26:3

Philippians 4:8

Luke 4:18-19

Romans 12:2

OCCULT

Exodus 22:18

Leviticus 19:31

Leviticus 20:6, 27

Deuteronomy 18:10-12

2 Kings 21:6

2 Chronicles 33:6

Isaiah 47:9, 13-15

Acts 19:17-20

PEACE

Psalm 40:1-3

Psalm 119

Psalm 121

John 11

SELF-IMAGE

Luke 15

Ephesians 1:13-14

SUICIDE

Psalm 8, 40

Psalm 42, 43

John 10:10

Romans 15:4

Philippians 4:6-8

Psalm 73

Philippians 4:19

Matthew 6:25-33

Hebrews 7:25

TEMPTATION

1 Corinthians 10:13

James 1:2-3, 12

Romans 8:28

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Appendix I The Gospel

SCRIPTURE ABOUT SALVATION

• Romans 3:23 – … for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

• Romans 6:23 – For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

• Romans 5:8 – But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

• Romans 10:13 – For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

Romans 10:9-10 – … if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

• Ephesians 2:8-9 – For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.

• Titus 3:5 – … he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.

He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit …

DIAGNOSTIC QUESTIONS

1. Will you tell me more about your faith?

2. On a scale of 1 to 10, how sure are you that if you died tonight you would spend eternity in heaven?

3. If you were to stand before Jesus immediately after your death, how would you respond to this question: “On what basis should I allow you into heaven?”

4. Have you put your trust in the finished work of Christ on the cross? If so, how has your life changed since that decision and what is the evidence?

5. What is your greatest challenge today in your walk with Christ?

A p pendix J

Justification, Adoption & Sanctification

Adapted from Large Group Teaching #5: Creation > The Fall/Sin > Redemption > Repentance > Salvation

What makes you a member of the kingdom of God is not the right things you do but the ac ce ptance you receive.

Romans 8:29-30

For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

ACCOMPLISHED:

Forgiveness of sins (past, present, future)

REBIRTH OR REGENERATION:

The Spirit’s work of making us new

CONVERSION:

The act of the regenerated person to believe , to trust , to repent , to place faith in the work and the power of God.

JUSTIFICATION:

Declaring innocence

ADOPTION:

God declares us to be sons and daughters .

SANCTIFICATION:

The Holy Spirit is empowering us, but we are participating in God’s work to mature and to grow and to sanctify us.

Appendix K

Examples of Lies & Truths

TRAUMA AND SUFFERING

Lie: “I am not valuable… I have to do something to earn God’s love… If God really knew me he wouldn’t love me.”

Truth: God showed his love for his children in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). I have been chosen by God (Ephesians 1:4), He loved me at my darkest, and I don’t have/can’t do anything to earn His love. God’s love is not conditional; His acceptance is not based on human works and worthiness but on faith in the works of His worthy Son. My worth comes from God and God alone.

Character Defects: legalism à dependence on my own behavior for my sense of self-worth and value [give examples of ways that you have heard/seen this]; people-pleasing à making myself feel better by getting the approval of someone else [give examples of ways that you have heard/seen this]

ANGER AND RESENTMENT

Lie: “If God hadn’t allowed me to be born into the family I was born into, things would be okay now… I don’t understand how that plan can be good, why would he want me to suffer? If my mom and dad had loved me better, I wouldn’t struggle so much now.”

Truth: God is good, perfect, just, and holy. He has an eternal perspective that I cannot see or understand. He knows the unjust suffering that has happened in my life and he will stand as a righteous Judge and King over those who have offended me. I must acknowledge that I am a sinner, just as the person who has offended me is a sinner. I have been extended grace by the Lord and I have the ability to now extend supernatural grace to others (Romans 2:1-5). Help me to remember that the Lord’s plans for me are to bless me and not harm me, to give me hope and a future.

Character Defects: self-justification à clearing myself from blame for my actions and attitudes [give examples of ways that you have heard/seen this]; self-pity à continually reviewing my miseries, often blaming others for my troubles [give examples of ways that you have heard/seen this]

SEXUAL IMMORALITY

Lie: “If I have sex with someone, then maybe I will be worth their time and attention, maybe they won’t leave me, I will have security in my relationship with them, it will mean they really love me”.

Truth: We can never find our dignity, worth, or value apart from Christ. While God gives us a desire to belong and be in relationship with other people, these relationships will never satisfy us. God has adopted us into his family and nothing can ever separate us from His love (Romans 8:35-39).

Character Defects: perfectionism à working to arrange my life so that everything and everyone in it (including myself) is faultless, according to my standards [give examples of ways that you have heard/seen this]; peoplepleasing à making myself feel better by getting the approval of someone else [give examples of ways that you have heard/seen this]

GUILT AND SHAME

Lie: “I have messed up so much, particularly in the area of sexual sin, that I have to make up for it now… I can’t mess up again… I have to earn God’s love and approval.”

Truth: God showed his love for his children in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). I have been chosen by God (Ephesians 1:4), He loved me at my darkest, and I don’t have/can’t do anything to earn His love. God’s love is not conditional, His acceptance is not based on human works and worthiness but on faith in the works of His worthy Son. My worth comes from God and God alone. All of my shame was nailed to the cross, Jesus bore it for me and I don’t have to walk in shame anymore.

Character Defects: legalism à dependence on our own behavior for our sense of self-worth and value [give examples of ways that you have heard/seen this]; perfectionism à working to arrange my life so that everything and everyone in it (including myself) is faultless, according to my standards [give examples of ways that you have heard/seen this]

FEAR AND ANXIETY

Lie: “I have to be in control so that I don’t get hurt again… I can’t trust people not to hurt me because it has happened so many times...”

Truth: In our pride, we often think that we know what is best for us and when what we think is best for us is threatened, we become fearful and controlling. We tend to doubt God’s sovereignty and His goodness in our lives. We must come into agreement with the truth that God is good, God is love, God loves his children, God is allpowerful and delights in protecting and caring for His children (Romans 8:28). We also have a God-given desire for peace and security, but when we attempt to control and manipulate our circumstances and relationships, fear reigns in our hearts (1 John 4:7-21). We must rest in the character of God, knowing that no person or circumstance can rob us of our peace with Him.

Character Defects: lack of trust/self-preservation à not being able to trust, not being able to depend on someone or something, doubt, lack in belief in God’s goodness [give examples of ways that you have heard/seen this]

GRIEF

Lie: “I am afraid to love someone too much again, losing people is too painful, I don’t want to experience loss in that way again.”

Truth: I don’t have to protect myself from loving others. I can be fully known and fully loved by the Lord and rest in the truth that no loss or suffering can rob me of my peace with Him.

Character Defects: detachment à removing yourself from relationships with others [give examples of ways that you have heard/seen this]; denial à self-protecting behavior that keeps me from honestly facing the truth and pain of life on this side of eternity [give examples of ways that you have heard/seen this]

A p pendix L

19 Possible Motivations/Triggers for Viewing

Pornography

Adapted from an article by Brad Hambrick: http://bradhambrick.com/19-possible-motive-triggers-forpornography (OCT 28, 2016)

Often triggers and motive are treated as two distinct things, and there are differences. But those differences are more akin to two sides of the same coin than apples and oranges. In this post you will examine the things that trigger your sexual sin and the motives attached to those triggers.

As you identify the trigger-motive for your sexual sin, we also want you to begin to see how you are treating your sin like a friend, ally, refuge, etc… These insights are essential for repentance to make sense as a central part of change. Unless we see how our sin seeks to replace God in our life, then our need to be made right with God comes across as if God is unduly hung up about our sexuality.

“Your struggle with sexual addiction doesn’t start with your behavior. It begins with what you want, what you live for (p. 6).” David Powlison in Sexual Addiction

1. BOREDOM (SIN AS MY JOY)

When boredom is our trigger to sexual sin, then sin has become our joy. When there is a moment to be filled with something of our choosing, we pursue sin to fill the void rather than God or any of His legitimate pleasures. We begin to lose our appetite for godly pleasure like the child who eats sweets stops wanting healthy food. Even as they feel sluggish from the ups and downs of sugary “treats” they fail to connect this to their diet but go instead for another sugar high as the “obvious” solution.

“Sex is not ultimate… Idols begin as good things to which we give too much importance, and few things slide over into idolatry with greater frequency or greater power than sex. We allow a good gift of God to supersede the God who gave it. Sex is good, even great, but it’s not ultimate (p. 61).” Tim Challies in Sexual Detox

Read Nehemiah 8:9-12. God is a God of great joys and pleasure. Too often we view God as so serious that we believe “fun” must be in His opposite direction. When God called Israel to repentance through Nehemiah and Ezra, He asked them to express their repentance in celebration. If the motive of boredom leads you to sin, then allow this passage to challenge your view of God.

2. LONELINESS (SIN AS MY FRIEND)

When loneliness is our trigger to sexual sin, then sin becomes our “friend.” Sexual sin is always relational whether the relationship is fictional or physical, so it fits loneliness well. It is as if our sin (a person, a chat room, or a video) calls to us, “Tell me your troubles.” We are glad to pull up a chair and unload. As

we do, talking to a real person or one who is not part of our sin becomes too risky. We now fear being judged or known by anyone but our “friend.”

“It’s a perfect world that I can create. Things always go exactly my way. People do exactly what I want. I’m always on top. Fantasy is a great ego-feeder (p. 19).” Anonymous testimony in David Powlison’s Pornography: Slaying the Dragon.

Read Proverbs 27:6. During sexual sin we write this proverb backwards. We believe, “Faithful are the kisses of any enemy; profuse are the wounds of a friend.” When sin reverses the roles of friend and enemy, it has trapped us until we return the right labels to the people in our lives. If the motive of loneliness leads you to sexual sin, then prayerfully examine who or what you are calling “friend.”

3. STRESS (SIN AS MY COMFORTER)

When stress is our trigger to sexual sin, then sin becomes our comforter. We run to it, her, or him. Sin or our adultery partner makes things better (at least as long as it, she, or he remains hidden and keeps us to themselves). Yet the comfort takes on an addictive quality. The stress from which we are relieved is multiplied by the stress it, she, or he creates. This keeps us in a cycle of stress and returning to a primary source of stress for relief.

“We crave intimacy at a relational level. We feel lonely. But we also fear intimacy. We’re not sure we can attain it or be vulnerable enough to handle it (p. 47).” Tim Chester in Closing the Window

Read John 14:25-31. Jesus describes the Holy Spirit as “the Helper” or “the Comforter” (v. 26) and as the source of peace that is distinct from the world’s peace which always returns us to fear (v. 27). If a source of comfort does not allow you to be more real with more people, then it is not true comfort. It is a drug that numbs you before it makes you sick. If the motive of stress leads you to sexual sin, then examine whether your “comfort” is real or a form of relational self-medication.

4. FRUSTRATION (SIN AS MY PEACE)

When frustration is our trigger to sexual sin, then sin becomes our source of peace. Sin is treated as an “oasis.” When this happens we label sin as our “safe place” as compared to the parts of life that are upsetting. This makes sin our friend and anyone or anything that opposes or interferes with our sin our enemy.

Read Romans 16:17-20 and I Thessalonians 5:22-24: Notice that each of the passages refer to knowing the God of peace as the alternative to falling into temptations based upon deceitful desires. Where you turn for peace from what frustrates you is the determining variable of their character. Once you declare something or someone as the source of your peace, you will be loyal to and obey it.

5. FATIGUE (SIN AS MY SOURCE OF LIFE)

When fatigue is our trigger to sexual sin, then sin becomes our source of life. We turn to sin as our boost to get through the day. The thought of our sin keeps us going when we feel like giving up. The

adrenaline of sexual satisfaction (physical or romantic) becomes a drug that we use to artificially stimulate ourselves and one that we begin to wonder whether we could live without.

Read 2 Corinthians 4:7-18: This passage uses many words that can be synonyms for or create fatigue: afflicted (v. 8), perplexed (v. 8), persecuted (v. 9), struck down (v. 9), and wasting away (v. 16). Fatigue can make you feel alone and sexual sin becomes your life giving companion. Paul says that it is only Christ who can be the life in us that counters the fatiguing death around us (v. 10-12). To doubt this truth reveals that we are believing (or at least listening attentively to) lies.

6. HURT (SIN AS MY REFUGE)

When hurt is our trigger for sexual sin, then sin becomes our refuge. In our moments of sinful escape we feel protected from life and a growing allegiance develops towards our sin. In actuality our sexual sin provides as much protection as a child pulling the covers over his/her head, but in our moment of hurt we are appreciative for even the pseudo-refuge of sin compared to the perceived absence of any other refuge.

Read Psalm 31: This Psalm alternates between a cry for help and a song of confidence. In this the Psalm reveals the realness with which Scripture speaks to life. Sexual sin is a pseudo-refuge on demand. Even when we cannot have the sin, we can fantasize about his/her presence. However, the real refuge of God is available through the same type of prayerful-meditative exercise as our fantasy, but is able to actually deliver us through the guidance of Scripture, the presence of His Spirit, and the involvement of His people.

7. BETRAYAL (SIN AS MY REVENGE)

When betrayal is our trigger for sexual sin, then sin becomes our revenge. We know how powerful betrayal is (especially sexual betrayal), so we decide to use its power for our purposes to avenge those who have hurt us. Blinded by pain we try to use pain to conquer pain but only multiply pain. We continue this potentially infinite domino train that pummels us with alternating experiences of betrayal’s pain and betraying’s shame in spite of knowing how it perpetuates pain.

Read Romans 12:17-21: It is so tempting to read this passage as God “holding you back” from sweet relief and satisfaction. But, in reality, it is God “holding you back” from turning another’s betrayal into self-destruction. God is not removing vengeance. God is simply saying He is the only one who can handle its power without being overcome by it. Sin can never conquer sin; any more than oil can remove a stain from your clothes. It is foolish to believe that your sexual sin could do what only Christ’s death on the cross could do – bring justice to injustice.

8. BITTERNESS (SIN AS MY JUSTICE)

When bitterness is our trigger for sexual sin, then sin becomes our justice. If sin as revenge is fast and hot, then sin as justice is slow and cold. No longer are we seeking to hurt another by our actions; now we are merely nursing our wound. If we tried to explain our sin in words, we would have to say we

believed our sin had some healing power. But because that seems foolish, we are more prone to just excuse our sin by the sin done to us.

Read Hebrews 12:15-17: In this passage a “root of bitterness” is directly linked to sexual sin (v. 16). When bitterness distorts our perspective we will trade things of great value (our integrity and/or family unity) for things of little value (a sexual release or fantasy briefly brought to life) like Esau who sold his birthright for a bowl of soup.

9. OPPORTUNITY (SIN AS MY PLEASURE)

When opportunity is our trigger for sexual sin, then sin becomes our pleasure. Often sexual sin requires no more trigger than time alone with a computer, a free moment to text, or an available member of the opposite sex to “talk” (i.e., flirt or allow to carry my burdens). When this is the case, sexual sin has become our default recreation; our preferred hobby. The more our sexual sin seeps into the common parts of life the more pervasive the lifestyle and heart changes necessary to root it out.

“The reality is that often we dislike the shame and consequences of sin, but we still like the sin itself… That’s because porn is pleasurable. Let’s be honest about that. If we pretend otherwise, we’ll never fight it successfully. People like watching porn otherwise they wouldn’t watch. The Bible talks about the pleasures of sin. They’re temporary. They’re dangerous. They’re empty pleasures, compared with the glory of God. But they are pleasures, nonetheless (p. 15).” Tim Chester in Closing the Window

Read Philippians 3:17-21: Paul is addressing those whose “god is their belly” (v. 19). These are people whose basic appetites, the mundane parts of their life, were at odds with God. Paul wept at the thought of people in this condition (v. 18). Chances are they had become so comfortable serving their appetites that it would seem odd that Paul was crying for them and “radical” to change. If mere opportunity has become a primary trigger for you sin, let this passage shock you awake!

10. REJECTION (SIN AS MY COMFORT)

When rejection is our trigger for sexual sin, then sin becomes our comfort. Our culture has made things done from a “fear of rejection” seem neutral; as if the defensive motive negated the badness of sin; as if we become the victim of our own sin when we fear rejection. The problem with a fear of rejection is that it makes us foolish. Only the fear of the Lord can make us wise (Prov. 1:7). When we react from a fear of rejection, we naturally seek the comfort of people rather than the comfort of God.

“Once we understand that the primary goal of sexually addictive behavior is to avoid relational pain essentially, to control life we can begin to uncover the core problem (20)… Several tiers below the surface is a pervasive, integral force that demands the right to avoid pain and experience self-fulfillment. This self-centered energy is the very essence of what the Bible calls ‘sin’ (p. 24).” Harry Schaumburg in False Intimacy

Read Proverbs 29:25: Scripture calls the “fear of rejection” the “fear of man.” It is not innocent because it replaces God as the One for whose approval we live. It is the values, character, and preferences of the

one we fear that influence our decisions, emotions, morality, and instinctive responses. If rejection is your primary motive for sexual sin, allow this passage to challenge the orientation of your life.

11. FAILURE (SIN AS MY SUCCESS)

When failure is our trigger for sexual sin, then sin becomes our success. In the fantasy world of sexual sin (porn, romance media, or adultery), you always win. You get the girl. You are the beauty who is rescued. No part of real life can compete with the early success rate of sin. Sin pays up front and costs in the back. Real success costs up front and pays in the back. In healthy marriages sacrifice is a primary part of the joy. As you give into sexual sin as a form of success it will drive you to desire the kinds of successes that destroy a family. Even if the adultery relationship is made permanent, it will then become “real” enough that it will no longer play by your preferred rules of success.

Read Matthew 21:28-32: Why would the second son say, “I go, sir” and not do the assigned task (v. 30)?

One potential reason is the fear of failure. Doubtless he would then view his father as upset with him and feel closer to someone who only asked of him what he wanted to do (i.e., porn, romantic media, or adultery partner). Using sexual sin as cheap success results in harming real relationships, lying, defensiveness towards being “judged,” and retreating to unhealthy or fictitious relationships. Rather than grading others by how they make you feel, repent of your fear of failure.

12. SUCCESS (SIN AS MY REWARD)

When success is our trigger for sexual sin, then sin becomes our reward. Has your sexual sin become what you do when you need a break or what you have “earned” after completing something difficult? Has your sexual sin become the carrot you dangle in front of yourself in order to maintain motivation? When sin becomes our reward we feel cheated by repentance. God and anyone who speaks on His behalf becomes a kill-joy.

Read Hebrews 11:23-28: Moses was faced with a choice between which reward he believed would be most satisfying: the treasure of Egypt or the privilege of being God’s servant (v. 26). Sexual sin gives us a similar reward choice: easy treasure or humble servant. Unless Christ is our hero and God our admired Father, then the choice seems like a no-brainer in the direction of destruction.

13. ENTITLEMENT (SIN AS MY DESERVED)

When entitlement is our trigger for sexual sin, then sin becomes what we deserve. When you are confronted with your sexual sin, do you think or say, “How else am I going to get what I need… deserve… earned?” Can you see how sexual sin has become your measure for a “good day” and whether someone is “for” or “against” you? Are you willing to allow anyone other than Christ who died for the sin you are trying to squeeze life out of to be the measure of “good” in your life?

Read Jeremiah 6:15 and 8:12: The people of God had lost their ability to blush at sin. Why? One possible explanation (that can explain our inability to blush even if it doesn’t apply to them), is they believed they deserved their sin. When this happens, we believe we know better than God. We believe the unique

features of our life trump the timeless truths of God’s created order. Our confidence to debate robs us of the humility necessary to blush.

14. DESIRE TO PLEASE (SIN AS MY AFFIRMATION)

When the desire to please is our trigger for sexual sin, then sin becomes our affirmation. It is easy to please a porn star or an adultery partner. They have a vested interest in being pleased. The entire relationship is based upon commerce (“the customer is always right”) or convenience (“if I am not pleasing to you, you have somewhere else to return”) rather than commitment (“I choose you unconditionally and faithfully in good times and in bad”). Too often sexual sin becomes a place of escape when we don’t feel like we can make everyone/anyone happy.

Read Ephesians 4:25-32: Notice that the type of relational interaction described in these verses is incompatible with an overly strong desire to please others. We cannot live the life God called us to (regardless of whether we are sinning sexually or not) if our driving desire is the affirmation of others. Our conversation must be gracious and good for building up (v. 29), but that assumes that we are willing to speak into areas of weakness with those we love.

15. TIME OF DAY (SIN AS PACIFIER)

When time of day is our trigger for sexual sin, then sin becomes our pacifier. Do you use your sexual sin to help you sleep, get the day started, serve as a pick-me-up, fight boredom, or kill dead time? What are the common times of day or week when you struggle with sexual sin? When has your sexual sin become routine?

Read I Timothy 4:7-10: When you use sin as a pacifier you are training yourself for ungodliness (contra. v. 7). Often, because these occurrence happen during down times or transitions of our day, we view these occurrences of sin as less bad. We view them more like a child who is still sucking his/her fingers rather than a child who is defying a parent’s direct instruction. If disciplining ourselves for godliness means anything, it must be relevant when we feel undisciplined.

16. LOCATION (SIN AS MY ESCAPE)

When location is our trigger for sexual sin, then sin becomes our escape. The fantasy nature of all sexual sin makes it a perfect escape from an unpleasant location. We can “be there” and “not be there” at the same time. We get credit for attendance (or at least avoid the discredit of absence) without having to attend. We can mentally be with our lover while enduring the boring meeting, stressful kids, uninteresting spouse, lonely apartment, or other unpleasant setting.

Read Psalm 32: Notice that the Psalm begins talking about an unpleasant place or time (v. 1-5). But rather than escaping David ran to God (v. 7) and found the joy you are seeking through escape into sexual sin (v. 10-11). When we escape through sexual fantasy we are using our fantasy as a substitute God. We are, in effect, praying to and meditating on our sin during a time of hardship seeking deliverance.

17. NEGATIVE SELF-THOUGHTS (SIN AS MY SILENCER)

When negative self-thoughts are our trigger for sin, then sin becomes our silencer. In sexual fantasy (porn, romance media, or adultery partner), we are always desired and see ourselves through the eyes of the one desiring us. We give ourselves to them not just physically but also imaginatively. Because we know the relationship is short-lived we are willing to do this. If the relationship were permanent the power of silencing-effect would be diluted over the expanse of time and contradicted by our growing number of failures in his/her presence.

Read Psalm 103: Sin will never do (or even a healthy human relationship) what only God can do. The ultimate “Peace, be still” to our negative self-thoughts is Christ’s death on the cross – affirming that we were as bad as we thought, but replacing our deficiency with His righteousness. Sexual sin provides fantasy righteousness. It provides the kind of covering mocked in the classic children’s book The Emperor’s New Clothes

18. PUBLIC (SIN AS MY CARNIVAL)

When public is our trigger to sexual sin, then sin becomes our carnival. We walk through life like a kid at an amusement park; gawking at every person we see like a new ride or romantic adventure, making a clownish sexual innuendo out of every comment, or treating everything present as if it existed to entertain us and stimulate us sexually. Our private thoughts of fantasy become fueled by a hypersexualized interpretation of our surroundings.

“The act of looking at porn is itself part of the succor it purports to offer. I can search for women who are available to me. I can choose between them like some sovereign being. It offers a sense of control (p. 50).” Tim Chester in Closing the Window

Read Romans 1:24-25: Can you hear in the description of sex as carnival what it means to have “exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator (v. 25)”? God will give us over to this kind of lustful heart (v. 24). This is why a radical amputation of sin is a necessary and wise response to prevent sexual sin from becoming our carnival (Matt 5:27-30).

19. WEAKNESS (SIN AS MY POWER)

When weakness is our trigger to sexual sin, then sin becomes our power. The stimulation (both the physical and chemical changes associated with arousal) of sexual sin gives a façade of strength. Having another person delight in you also provides a veneer of significance. As with most of these motives/triggers, sex becomes a means to an end. Sex is no longer an expression of love but an attempt to gain something. That is always a recipe for dysfunctional, unsatisfying sex.

“My pastor has preached that the primary issue in adultery is that you want someone else to worship you and serve you, to be at your beck and call. That resonated with me. I could see that theme in my fantasies (p. 15).” Anonymous testimony in David Powlison’s Pornography: Slaying the Dragon.

Read 2 Corinthians 11:30: Are you willing to boast (verbally put on public display) your weakness as a way to make Christ more known and live in more authentic relationships? That is the only freedom that will allow you to enduringly enjoy what you are seeking in sexual sin. If that sounds backwards to you read what Paul said in his first letter to the Corinthians (1:20-25) and ask yourself if your “wisdom” is getting you closer or farther from where you want to be.

APPLICATION

List and rank the top five motives/triggers for your sexual sin:

“Porn is always about a symptom of deeper issues. It’s about lust, but it’s also about anger, intimacy, control, fear, escape, and so on. Many of these problems will show up in other areas of a person’s life (p. 109).” Tim Chester in Closing the Window

For some people the motive for their sexual sin will be very self-evident. Maybe you could quickly pick out the motive-triggers that deceive you into believing sin is “worth it” or will “work out” this time. For others, it requires reflection in the moment of temptation to discern what is luring them.

The value in understanding the motive for our sin is that it allows us to recognize the empty promises sin makes so that we can turn to our loving Heavenly Father who is willing and able to fulfill those promises. I hope this post has helped you see the emptiness of sin so that you are prepared to embrace the fullness of God in the gospel.

A p p e n d i x M

Panic Attacks

OVERVIEW

A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause. Panic attacks can be very frightening. You feel alone, stuck, off balance. You begin fearing fear. When panic attacks occur, you might think you're losing control, having a heart attack or even dying.

Panic attacks typically include some of these signs or symptoms:

• Sense of impending doom or danger

• Fear of loss of control or death

• Rapid, pounding heart rate

• Sweating

• Trembling or shaking

• Shortness of breath or tightness in your throat

• Chills

• Hot flashes

• Nausea

• Abdominal cramping

• Chest pain

• Headache

• Dizziness, lightheadedness or faintness

• Numbness or tingling sensation

• Feeling of unreality or detachment

One of the worst things about panic attacks is the intense fear that you'll have another one. While some people have 1 or 2 in the lifetime it is also common to have them in clusters.

HELPING SOMEONE WHILE THEY ARE HAVING A PANIC ATTACK

Video to watch: https://www.ccef.org/resources/video/helping-someone-midst-panic-attack

1. Encourage deep breathing. ...

2. Help them recognize they are having a panic attack and normalize physical symptoms as well as thinking they are dying

3. Prayer over them and for them

4. Have them close their eyes

5. Help them find an object or happy place to focus on

6. Sometimes medication is needed

APPLY SOME INITIAL BIBLICAL CATEGORIES

https://www.ccef.org/resources/blog/how-biblical-counselor-thinks-about-panic-attacks-most-read-2012-10

These are troubling symptoms, and though we certainly care about heart rates, sweats, shakes, dizziness and feeling detached, we have no assurance from Scripture that these physical symptoms will change even if we grow in Christ.

Are there any symptoms here that Scripture assures us can change? How about fear of death and fear of losing control? These are the spiritual symptoms of fear and Scripture is all about fear, especially the fear of death. We might expect growth in this one.

Our bodies are wasting away but our inner person (spirit, heart, soul) can be renewed (2 Cor. 4:16). We are pleased to see the alleviation of physical symptoms when possible, but we are even more eager to see spiritual growth whether the physical symptoms improve or not.

NOW DIVE IN, GET MESSY.

• “Could you tell me more? When was the last time it happened? What was it like for you?”

• “Where did your mind go when you thought you could die?”

• “How do you think we should pray about this?”

• “Have you talked to your physician about this?”

• “What do you think about this: let’s start focusing on fear in Scripture. Let’s see how our God speaks gently and powerfully to us as fearful people. These panic attacks seem like a fine occasion to become fear experts.”

DON’T OVER-INTERPRET!

One caution, and it is an important one. People say stupid, unhelpful Job-comforter-likethings when they believe they have insight into the cause of panic attacks. There is a difference between knowing descriptions of panic attacks and knowing their explanations. What causes panic attacks? That is an irresistible question one we really want to answer. But we must resist trying to explain why it happens. When it comes to most psychiatric diagnoses, “I don’t know” is the best and most sophisticated summary of the cause.

This lack of insight, however, does not limit our ability to help. We do not have to know the causes of suffering the eruption of physical symptoms in this case to help someone. We have plenty of beautiful revelation that guides our ministry. We don’t have to speculate on causes and other matters for which Scripture does not give precise direction.

MINISTERING TO SOMEONE WHO IS STRUGGLING WITH PANIC ATTACKS

https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2010/10/panic-attacks-insights-from-david-powlison

1. God understands. He’s with you now.

Yes, some Christians have panic attacks. This doesn’t make them or you bad Christians. Jesus himself was deeply troubled in the hours before his imprisonment.

2. Vulnerability and lack of control is a central issue in the heart of those who experience panic attacks.

Panic comes when we have a sense of heightened vulnerability. It will never do to simply encourage someone to “pull it together” or “to minimize their sense of vulnerability.” However, in the process of helping people who experience these debilitating attacks we want them to understand how their attacks begin with a sense of vulnerability and lack of control.

3. Those who experience panic attacks need a larger worldview to process them.

The reality is that this life is full of real and genuine threats. It is true that those threats may result in some kind of pain in our lives. However, the larger worldview is that God has communicated with us that “Do not be afraid … for I am with you.” In other words, God meets people in their fears and grants them the courage to function in a way that pleases him in the midst of that fear. The psalmists often speak of real and genuine threats to their life and security, but find strength and solace in their relationship with God.

4. Those who experience panic attacks need to view those attacks as informative rather than devastating.

Panic attacks are devastating. Life feels like it is spiraling out of control. The person living the attack seems to have no way out of it. They may feel hopeless and completely alone. As long as these thoughts persist, the attacks will continue to be devastating. But what happens if the person learns to see the attack as informative? What if the onslaught of an attack is like the “check engine” light of our car? What happens if they begin to see the attack as a warning sign that their fears and vulnerability are taking God out of the picture? It seems that if they can process these moments as an opportunity to run to the Lord, to seek his help, to cling to his promises then God will meet them in that fear and vulnerability. God’s grace and help will come and the person will avoid the chaos. The sense of danger may not disappear, but there is a confidence in the sense of danger that God is there.