Thrive Participant Guide 2025

PARTICIPANT GUIDE

Contents are a licensed Christ Chapel Bible Church derivative of the original “STEPS” material. © 2024 Citizens Church All Rights Reserved.

Original © 2015 The Village Church Used by permission.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of Citizens Church.

ISBN 979-8-9875989-3-1; 979-8-9875989-1-7 Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Citizens Church 4501 Legacy Dr Plano, TX 75024 www.citizenschurch.com EDITION: JUL. 2026 ORIGINAL CONTENT AUTHOR Michael Snetzer

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UNDERSTANDING GOD

1. The Beginning: Creation and Fall

31

2. The Remedy: The Gospel

63

3. The Response: Faith and Repentance

95

4. The Result: Justification, Adoption, and Sanctification

127

UNDERSTANDING OURSELVES

5. Assessment Prep

155

6. Trauma and Suffering | Anger and Resentments

179

7. Sex, Guilt, and Shame

227

8. Fear, Grief, and Loss

269

9. Roots

317

LOVING OTHERS

10. The New Heart

339

11. Forgiveness

359

12. Confession & Amends

385

13. Action Plan

412

14. Be a Disciple

419

15. Make Disciples

447

Glossary & Appendices

465

BONUS

Orientation and Overview

ORIENTATION

Overview and Expectations Welcome to Thrive!

We’re so glad you’re here. No matter where you are spiritually, Thrive provides a community to be encouraged, be real, and be challenged to dig in and experience an extraordinary life. It’s an opportunity to discover God’s answers for thriving in the difficult parts of life’s journey.

The mission of Thrive is to bring glory to God through lives changed by the gospel of Jesus. This intensive discipleship program includes daily Bible study and reflection, assessments, one-on-one mentoring, small groups, and teaching. Thrive helps us gain traction in our relationship with God by addressing unresolved issues from our past, uprooting unhealthy coping patterns, and practicing spiritual formation principles that lead to Christian maturity.

In the Great Commission, Jesus calls us to make disciples by teaching them to observe—not just know—His commands. God desires heart-level obedience, and when the gospel takes root, it deeply transforms us and how we relate to everything. Thrive offers a structure that helps us move from hearing the Word to doing it, because it’s in the application of truth that we bear fruit.

MATTHEW 28:18–20

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Thrive is not a religious system for climbing our way to God, but a response of faithful obedience to what the gospel has already accomplished and promised.

The centrality of the gospel is essential to our approach: We begin by laying a foundation of what Jesus has done for those who believe, then invite participants to live in light of that truth. On that foundation, we use assessments to help apply the gospel to areas of past and present struggle that hinder the abundant life Jesus offers.

JAMES 1:22

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.



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PHILOSOPHY RECONNECTING US TO THE GOSPEL Thrive seeks to equip the Church with a confidence that the Scriptures are sufficient in addressing the deepest issues of our lives and that the gospel of Jesus is relevant (even superior) to the world’s solutions in addressing these issues. We must recover a right understanding and application of the gospel as the remedy for all that ails us.

COMMUNITY IS YOUR ADVANTAGE Our desire is that you would understand the change process in the context of church community because God designed us to do life beside each other.

A LIFE OF CONTINUAL TRANSFORMATION We want everyone to experience the healing and freedom that comes from knowing Christ, so we can all live our lives as citizens of the Kingdom of God. Our hope is not that you remain stuck in a program, but rather, that you grow and move through life in the joy of the Lord!

RECONCILIATION WITH GOD Reconciliation with God is the goal. Noticing our behavior changing is the by-product. Only Jesus can reconcile us to God, not our good deeds. As our hearts are reconciled to His, His Spirit changes how we relate to everything.

GIVING YOUR ALL It is a temptation to reduce our walk with the Lord to holiness in one area. If we believe we are “okay” with God because we haven’t sinned in a particular way, we tend toward moralism or legalism, which is merely another form of slavery. Jesus said: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” The Christian life is about surrendering every area of life to God, every day.

PROGRAMS DON’T HEAL PEOPLE Thrive or any other ministry or program doesn’t heal. Only Jesus Christ can deliver us from bondage to sin and reconcile us to God. We are not here to exalt a program, but the person and work of Jesus Christ. Fundamentally, sin is the worship of the creation rather than the Creator. When you give yourself to a program instead of Christ, you enslave yourself to a program.

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SCOPE & SEQUENCE Here is a general idea of what to expect this semester. The program is broken up into three main movements:

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4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

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Result: Justification

Assessment Prep

Trauma & Suffering Anger & Resentments

Sexual Immorality Guilt & Shame

Fear & Anxiety Grief

Getting to the Roots

The New Heart

Forgiveness

Making Amends

Joyful Living

Make Disciples

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Be a Disciple

1

Response: Repentance

Bonus

Remedy: Redemption

3. Loving Others

Creation & Fall

2. Understanding Ourselves

Introduction

1. Understanding God

THE FIVE COMPONENTS HOMEWORK (3 HOURS PER WEEK) BIBLE STUDY Throughout much of the program, participants will commit to daily Bible study and reflection. The pattern is six days of digging into God’s Word and stopping on the seventh day to reflect. The questions vary in difficulty and some might even be difficult to understand. It is okay to admit we don’t have all the answers. A right answer is an honest answer.

ASSESSMENT We first examine the fruit in our lives. As we move through the assessment process, we will uncover the roots of any ungodly fruit that drive our ungodly thoughts, actions, and emotions. We are seeking to examine and rid ourselves of those things that hinder the freedom Christ intends for His people. There are six separate assessments that will be discussed and prayed through with Mentors.

ONE-ON-ONE MENTORING (AVG. 2 HOURS PER WEEK) Participants should schedule time each week to meet with their Mentor to review their Mentor Prep sections of homework, or walk through their assessments at the appropriate time of the semester. The amount of time varies depending on what is covered each week.

WEEKLY LARGE GROUP (1 HOUR) Each week there is a comprehensive lesson rooted in the Scriptures, aimed at the heart with the gospel of Jesus Christ exhorting the greatest command. This time will be accompanied by corporate worship music and host content personalized for your semester. 

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WEEKLY SMALL GROUP (1 HOUR) Community is an important aspect to Thrive. Each person will be assigned a small group led by a qualified leader to shepherd the group through the process. The group leaders will ask good questions, keep the conversation moving, and make group time an easy place for you to share. This gives participants the opportunity to learn and be encouraged by others.

LET’S USE THE EXAMPLE OF A THURSDAY NIGHT GROUP.

COST/COMMITMENT & BENEFIT The level of commitment for completing Thrive as it is designed requires an average of seven hours per week: one hour for the weekly small group, one hour for the teaching, three hours for homework (Bible study or writing assessments) and two hours for meeting with a Mentor. It is similar in commitment to taking a college course. Financially speaking, the benefits might be considered equivalent to this low-cost local example: $2,400

$600

$3,000

16 hours of coaching or counseling at about $150 per hour

Tuition for a typical semester-long course

VALUE

ENCOURAGEMENT This is a brave thing you’re doing! Remember that every step you take, no matter how difficult, is a step toward growth. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed at times—that’s a sign you’re venturing out into new territory and learning to trust God in ways you didn’t expect. Take it one step at a time, and don’t forget to celebrate each small victory along the way. God’s got this! You and He together will make a great team.

MATTHEW 11:28–30

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

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Thrive Prep Work Before the 14 weeks of Thrive can officially begin, you must complete orientation and the following checklist. This is to ensure you are well prepared prior to committing and being accepted into the program!

Once completed, you will have the opportunity to commit and complete the online registration for Thrive. Along with your materials payment, this step will officially complete your Thrive application.

You will then wait to hear about acceptance into the program this semester, as well as other important information regarding the first meeting.

PRE-THRIVE CHECKLIST:



Complete online Orientation.

Agree with the “Participant Commitment” (on p. 12) as you complete online registration for Thrive.

Identify a mentor using the provided guide. (below)* If you already have a mentor, have them apply to Thrive Leadership. (my.ccbcfamily.org/registration/thrive-mentor) Work through a sample of the Thrive daily homework.

Listen to the podcast: “How to Tell Your Story.”

Prepare to share your story.

*IDENTIFY A MENTOR Identifying a Mentor can be a challenge in and of itself. Perhaps you have already identified someone to mentor you. If you don’t have a Mentor, we suggest letting those you are in a relationship with know you are going through Thrive and are looking for a Mentor. Consider asking two or three people, and don’t be discouraged if your first choice cannot commit. Mentors must be in place prior to the start of Thrive.

A “qualified” Mentor is someone who …

 has completed Thrive in the past  is someone whose mentor would also recommend them to mentor  is currently in a good place spiritually and has completed the Thrive mentor training 

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A mentor from outside of Thrive is not necessarily unqualified but simply has not completed Thrive. They may be qualified in every other way to mentor but may not be familiar with the content and scope of Thrive as it is laid out at our church. Please reach out to us with questions!

A mentor is committed to meeting weekly with you throughout the semester, completing the required training sessions offered, and joining the final large group Celebration. They are also responsible for working with mentees on an aftercare plan. Mentors are expected to commit an average of two hours a week.

Thrive Mentor Application: (my.ccbcfamily.org/registration/thrive-mentor)

Prepare to Share Your Story Why should I share? Everyone has a story. Your story is important. It provides the context to who you are today. Your story is unique and needs to be told.

Your story is filled with shaping influences (both positive and negative) and ways you responded to those influences. These influences shape how we think about the world around us, including God, self, and others.

As you prepare to share your story, consider pain points in your life. Consider the high and low markers in your life and how you were changed or shaped by them. Consider how you responded to these events or people. Consider how your view of self, others, God, and your circumstances changed. Change can be for better or worse.

Visit this QR code for specific guidance on how to tell your story in Thrive.

How to Tell Your Story in Thrive: (share.transistor.fm/s/0e7a9fec)

As you prepare to share, you should think about how you will fit your story into about 30 total minutes as you sit with your Mentor during your first meeting. You’ll get to hear their story when you meet, as well!

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Thrive Small Group Ground Rules The following characteristics will contribute to a safe and successful Thrive small group experience.

1. Successful small groups have a balance of each person getting to contribute and share without any one person dominating the group’s time and attention.

So, don’t talk too little and don’t talk too much.

2. Avoid the temptation to try to fix one another. Safe and successful small groups are characterized by support rather than advice-giving. Trying to “fix” someone else is usually a sign that we don’t want to deal with our own stuff.

3. Share with honesty and authenticity. Sharing our struggles openly demonstrates our desire to pursue growth and freedom in Christ.

4. Do not romanticize your sin. It is tempting in group settings to compare struggles or take pride in things that grieve the heart of God. We do not celebrate sin; we celebrate repentance.

5. Scripture calls us to refrain from gossip. Please operate under the direction of God’s Word in the handling of information shared within the group. In order to provide a safe environment for your group, you must commit to NOT share information about one another outside the group, except in rare circumstances, such as: | Potential harm to self or others | Reports of abuse or potential abuse to a child, the disabled, or an

elderly person

Leaders sometimes share information with Thrive Leadership and Mentors for the ongoing growth of leaders and the health of the group and its members.

6. In Thrive, each person should be allowed to share without interruptions.

However, like most other successful conversations, others are free to contribute with comments or observations only to the extent that it is helpful for the person that is sharing. Counsel must be biblically rooted.



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Thrive Participant Commitment After prayerful consideration, I believe that God is leading me to participate in this season of Thrive. I understand that by being in this study, I am committing to the following: o

To not miss more than 2 small group / large group / Mentor meetings this semester

o

To be prepared each week, having read through, thought through, prayed through, studied, and thoroughly completed each lesson, as well as any other homework

o

To not just answer the questions, but to diligently seek to apply these biblical principles to my daily living

o

To complete this process, setting aside these next few months to work on my relationship with God and others

o

To establish and maintain open and honest communication with my Group Leader, Mentor, and any staff leadership

o

To receive shepherding with leaders communicating as needed to care for and disciple me with wisdom, prayer, and appropriate discretion.

o

To be teachable and follow the leadership in the Thrive program

o

To uphold the Thrive Small Group Ground Rules (see previous page)

o

To be on time to the meetings each week

By signing below, I am agreeing to the above commitment and understand that the church acts as a church, not a counseling center. Therefore, we are not acting as professional counselors but as ministers of the gospel of Jesus. By signing here, you are acknowledging that you have read this statement and agree to adhere to the group guidelines, have completed the Thrive prep work, and are desiring to participate in the biblical counsel and community outlined in this packet.

SIGNATURE OF PARTICIPANT ________________________________

Date: ___________________

________________________________

Date: ___________________

WITNESS/GROUP LEADER 12

A Framework for Change PR E-THRIV E LE S SON ONE Part of biblical discipleship is speaking God’s words with God’s heart to God’s people. The following overview is provided to differentiate the counsel offered from the Bible from that which is offered through the world. Biblical counseling is distinct as it is rooted in the Scriptures, aimed at the heart with the gospel of Jesus, and exhorts us to love like Christ.

TWO KINDS OF KNOWLEDGE All knowledge can fit into one of two categories: 1. THE WISDOM OF GOD This is living in God’s world God’s way. This wisdom undergirds how the universe is wired. The fear of the Lord, which is the beginning of wisdom, recognizes that from Him comes all goodness and He alone is worthy of centering our lives around.

PROVERBS 1:7

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. (see also Prov. 3:5 & 9:10) 2. THE KNOWLEDGE OF MAN On the other hand, living apart from God’s way (by the knowledge of man or in the way of the world) is attempting to live in God’s world another way.

This understanding comes from the influence of the enemy of God and leads to foolishness.

1 CORINTHIANS 1:20

Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?

These two worldviews are in opposition to one another. The conflict is not in what can be studied through science (observation), but rather, how we attempt to live based on the understanding of that reality. The wisdom of man or the world is based in speculation, while the wisdom of God is based in revelation. Trying to blend these two sources of wisdom is like trying to mix oil and water.

Whatever is true belongs to God, to His praise and glory. The wisdom of the world has limitations because its understanding is incomplete. It is reductionist in its analysis. We need God’s Word to rightly understand. In misdiagnosing the extent of the problem, the wisdom of man can merely provide symptomatic remedies. 

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While agreeing with much of what can be observed, we can gain a more robust understanding of human problems through God’s Word than conclusions arrived at through mere observation.

ECCLESIASTES 12:11–12

The words of the wise are like goads, and like nails firmly fixed are the collected sayings; they are given by one Shepherd. My son, beware of anything beyond these. Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh.

Thrive offers counsel rooted in the Scriptures, as they give us an understanding of how to live in God’s world God’s way. Secular counseling attempts to provide an alternative to this wisdom.

ROOT/FRUIT RELATIONSHIP JEREMIAH 17:5–8

Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

As can be seen in this passage, these different sources of wisdom will lead to much different outcomes. One is fruitful and one is unfruitful. The fruit of a person’s life will indicate the root of their life. Trusting God and His Word brings nourishment through the living waters of Christ and will produce good fruit even in difficult circumstances. Those who trust in man (in himself or others) will end up barren and desolate, both internally and eternally.

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INTERPRETING OUR REALITY (WORLDVIEW) Take a look at the above diagram. This is a simple way of understanding the relationship our roots have with the fruits of our lives.  Roots = beliefs and motives of the heart that drive us  Trunk/Branches = patterns and routines that have developed over time  Fruits = the behaviors that others observe, or that are easy to see for ourselves

We tend to focus mostly on fruit, and how to make it look as good as possible.

Yet oftentimes it’s sour or even rotten on the inside. For some of us, it may be nonexistent. We may look more like the desert shrub (v. 6) and are instead concentrating on growing thorns to protect us and hurt others.

If you were to label the diagram with your own words to describe your “fruits” or “trunk,” what would you add?



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COMMUNITY IS OUR ADVANTAGE We need help. This change process is difficult to understand on our own. The people around you—friends, family, group members, or mentors—are given by God to support you. Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness, but of strength and wisdom! Most of us are here because we’ve lacked the community (relationships) we need in order to help us truly change and grow. Lasting change only happens when we follow God’s design, and He has shown us that His design is a community project—not a solo endeavor.

CHANGE IS GOOD While all forms of care and counsel are about change, Thrive is about heart change.

We’ll get more into that topic in the next lesson.

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Discipleship Aimed at the Heart PR E-THRIV E LE S SON T WO Last time, we talked about the connection between the “roots” of our lives (our heart) and the outcomes or behaviors we and others witness (our fruit).

Now, we’re going to build on that understanding and focus on the heart and why it’s such a powerful, driving force in us. Oftentimes, we can learn from our hearts to see what is causing the disorder in our lives. But it’s not so simple to see into our own hearts. We need help.

JEREMIAH 17:9 –10

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”

PROVERBS 4:23

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

The Bible has over 800 references to “the heart.” God is deeply aware of how He created our heart to be the wellspring of our lives, and He wants us to guard it carefully. From it comes our thoughts, actions, and affections.

God is the One who can help us understand our hearts.

When we seek counseling, we tend to work on symptoms focused on behavior, cognitions, and emotions but fail to address the deeper issues of the heart; namely, issues of pride and idolatry. Treating symptoms has been described as giving aspirin to a person for a headache caused by a brain tumor. It may relieve a headache for a time, but does little to fix a brain tumor. This does not mean that we should refuse the aspirin, but we should not rely on it as a promise to fix an underlying condition that requires more advanced intervention. Therefore, Thrive is a heart-focused biblical discipleship program.



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What’s in your “water bottle”?

What comes out when you’re shaken?

How did it get like this? Was it always this way?

WORLDVIEW IS IMPORTANT PERFECTION When God created the world, He didn’t create a cosmic mess. He brought order out of chaos. It was good! When He created mankind, He even said it was “very good.”

God and His people were fellowshipping so beautifully in the garden. Adam and Eve listened to God, obeyed Him, and valued His counsel. All was pure. All was well. So what happened?

BROKENNESS The sin of God’s prized creation (man and woman) brought an infection into God’s perfect creation. Adam and Eve listened to the wrong counselor. As recounted in Genesis 3, God’s enemy (Satan) took the form of a serpent and asked a question that insinuated God was not to be totally trusted. It was a lie. And God’s precious children believed the lie, disobeyed God, fell out of perfect fellowship with Him, and the infection of sin began its destructive work on every part of God’s perfect creation. We were the ones who created the cosmic mess.

RECLAMATION But death and decay weren’t God’s endgame. His plan from the beginning was to tell an intricate story about Himself through His people over thousands of generations. Our sovereign and omniscient God uses His enemy’s plans for His own good. God had a plan to send His Son to save His people. That was the plan all along—to reclaim what is His. Jesus was sent to pay for us. For all our mistakes. He has made a way back to God! STRUGGLE However, the journey on this broken earth is fraught with trouble. (John 16:33) This is probably no surprise to you, as it’s an inherent reality for those knowing they need change. Change is necessary because God commands us to grow and to look more and more like Him. (Sanctification, or holiness.)

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SOMETHING TO CONSIDER: Did we disorder our lives? Or were our lives already in disorder?

THE MESS OF OUR LIVES …

In popular terms, many of us have some sort of “disorder.” A few examples are: anxiety, eating, sleep, attention deficit, hyperactivity, narcissistic personality, etc.

Using these man-made constructs suggests a line of differentiation between “healthy” (ordered) people and “disordered” people. Naturally, we seek a remedy for the disease or disorder of our lives. It could be simple things like obtaining organizational bins for an unruly room or closet in your home. Or even more advanced solutions such as taking medications that adjust our neurochemical responses to stimuli.

When we speak about disorder, we need to realize that we ALL suffer from a version of it. It comes from the separated state of our fellowship with our Maker. God’s Word describes this frustrated state that we are in: ROMANS 8:18–23

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

We wait for order to return to God’s creation. However, we are not immune from disordered thought patterns and the effects of others’ disorder. We mostly struggle to worship rightly.

ORDERING OUR DESIRES …

Worship is what we were made to do. It is the purpose given to us by our Creator.

The word worship speaks to the priority of our desires. What is first in our hearts?

The design is that God is given His rightful place as the King of our hearts. When we arrange our lives in this way, we begin to function as intended. This is why God commands our love to point to Him first.



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MARK 12:30 –31

“…you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” There is no other commandment greater than these.

We are fundamentally worshipers. The first part of the greatest command is about worship. We worship what is uppermost in our affections (first in our hearts). We were created to worship God. All sin stems from disordered loves. When we sin, we love something more than we love God and give the worship that is rightly His to another.

This is called idolatry. We have a bent toward idolatry or the worship of the creation rather than the Creator (Romans 1:25).

The second part of the greatest command is linked to the first. When we are not reflecting God’s heart (love) toward others, it indicates that there is something in our hearts that needs to be given instead to Him. God reconciles the hearts of His children through the gospel, giving us new hearts, reordering His creation to its intended design and reorienting our hearts to worship him. He is the restorer of what is broken!

As our hearts are reconciled to His, we will progressively reflect Christ in the way that we love others and relate to ourselves, our jobs, our friends and family, our bodies, money, sex, food, etc. Thrive intends to lead people to worship and enjoy God and love people. It exhorts the Greatest Command.

When we put these two words together, we see that all chaos and frustration comes from disordered worship. We are valuing the wrong things, and perhaps have been for a very long time—which is why change is so difficult.

We all suffer from a worship disorder.

Tim Keller says, “Our worship disorder is the very heart act of refusing to have Jesus Christ as our heart’s functional trust, preoccupation, loyalty, service, fear, and delight [security, contentment, joy].”

ROMANS 1:21

For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.

When our hearts are darkened for a long time, we become the things we don’t want to become. We start looking like those who have hurt us. We become used to rejecting the grace and love of Jesus. Living in the dark makes us repulsed by the light that we so desperately need to cleanse and heal our ailments.

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Let’s think back to that heart diagram from earlier. How would a darkened heart produce negative fruit?

(-) THOUGHTS  (-) FEELINGS  (-) ACTIONS THERE IS ONLY ONE SOLUTION TO OUR DISORDER …

THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST The gospel of Jesus Christ is the unfolding plan of God to redeem His lost creation through the person and work of Jesus Christ. As we come to understand that human suffering ultimately flows from a fractured creation through sin entering the world, any promise of ultimately conquering the problem and the ensuing suffering apart from the gospel falls woefully short of the hope of redemption found in Jesus.

“If nothing changes, nothing changes” is a well-known slogan. Unless we are changed deeply at the level of the heart, we have no hope of flourishing. Jesus came to win our hearts back to God so that we might live fruitful lives. Our message is the gospel, and we believe when it takes root, everything changes.

Thrive seeks to connect the truths of the gospel to our everyday struggles so we might flourish as we are changed by Him. With Jesus as the solution to the disorder of our hearts, we should be living our best lives. However, we must recognize that we are made new but not perfect. There are other influences that impact us every day.



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INFLUENCES ON THE HEART

Think back to the water bottle example. The things associated with the rings in the above diagram are influencing your water bottle. When they bump you, they may make some water splash out. They may heat your water up. Or these influences may work the other way and might even make you believe that you don’t need the water in your bottle to be pure. They may produce “additives” to make you believe you’re okay on the inside, because you feel okay in your body, family, friends, or culture.

Without Jesus, we must rely on these spheres of influence to cope with the sin and suffering of life. When the circumstances and environment around us are bad, we are bad.

However, with Jesus ruling our hearts, we can thrive no matter the circumstances! He is our Savior and our great Healer!

MATTHEW 8:17b

“He took our illnesses and bore our diseases.”

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Redemptive Community PR E-THRIV E LE S SON THR E E Now that we have an understanding that our hearts directly influence our thoughts, feelings, and actions, and we also understand that our primary problem is a worship disorder, we are going to give an overview of the type of community we aim to foster in the Thrive program, because this community is what God has given to remind us of these important frameworks for living and growing while on earth together.

The concept of “living in community” can be difficult because many of us have never experienced true biblical community. That is, we’ve not been a part of a healthy and intimate community where we were continually encouraged in our personal and communal worship of God. By contrast, many of us have been hurt or abused by others in such a way that makes us very guarded. Or perhaps our own selfishness has gotten in the way, and we end up isolated. Few of us (if any) have really experienced the relationships that God designed for His people.

Let’s take a look at some common types of community so as to focus on the biblical (or redemptive) community that God calls His people to: 1.

Communal – a community made up of mutual outside influences such as a shared taste in music, movies, food, athletics, sports teams, etc.

2.

Societal – a community comprised of primarily surface-level interactions with acquaintances; possibly limited to members of a social class or group.

3.

Personal – a close-knit community defined by shared experiences; your extended family, or people you would call friends.

4.

Intimate – a community that’s real and “raw”; might be made up of your inner circle of friends and immediate family, or “framily” (the family you chose).

5.

Biblical – a healthy and intimate community that is encouraging each other in worshipping God and accomplishing His purpose for the world; Continually pursuing growth in love, devotion, worship, authenticity, accountability, and prayer with one another.

A biblical, redemptive community should make my purpose for being in the community to bless others, to serve them, and help them. Let’s review seven marks of this type of community that is special to God’s Church.



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SEVEN MARKERS OF A REDEMPTIVE COMMUNITY 1. ABIDING IN CHRIST CONTINUALLY JOHN 15:5

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

Keeping first things first isn’t just something we talk about, it’s something we ought to put into practice—and it needs to happen frequently. Putting Jesus first only happens when we give Him the proper place in our hearts. When He comes first, and we stay with Him, our lives start to feel more ordered, even when the circumstances around us are disordered.

The concept of abiding in Jesus presented here is the idea of an enduring relationship. The word “abide” actually means to remain or stay. Take a look at the illustration above. The vine represents Jesus. The branch represents His people.

Unlike an automobile that we fill with fuel (or charge up) and then drive until it’s depleted, God’s design for us is to stay plugged into Him. The branch pictured in this image would die if it disconnected from the vine. It would lose its stability and source of life and energy.

Simply put: There’s no way a follower of Christ can contribute to a redemptive community without putting first things first and abiding in Jesus.

2. COMMITTED TO OTHERS EPHESIANS 4:1b-3

Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

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When we become members of the family of God, we inherit all of the privileges as well as the sacred responsibilities He calls us to. Part of being in a redemptive community is treating each other as you might treat a sibling—like family.

Depending on your family of origin, you may see family differently than the way God intended, and you may have been mistreated.

Being a part of the community of God gives us all a chance to start over; to return to His vision for treating each other with honor.

ROMANS 12:10

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Honor means to “treat as special.” When we think of ways to treat someone else as special, we begin to investigate how they are wired, what makes them tick, what they enjoy or avoid. We pick up on ways to make them smile and enjoy God’s world. The passage above uses the word “outdo.” When is the last time you attempted to go beyond for someone else … without any personal gain?

Jesus values and cares for us the same way a shepherd cares for each of his sheep. When one of the sheep has strayed, the devotion of the shepherd drives him to seek the sheep out. The opposite of love is not always hate. At least the feeling of hate that shows we care! The opposite of love is indifference. Don’t be indifferent to the needs and cares of others around you! Jesus calls us to reflect Him by pursuing His straying sheep in gentleness so they may be reconciled back to Him. 3. BEING REAL WITH ONE ANOTHER JAMES 5:16a

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.

Much of what we’re after in our deepest relationships is to be fully known and fully loved. While that is ultimately only possible with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we are called to vulnerability with one another in community. Why? For our own good! The path to holiness is accountability according to truth, and confessing and praying with one another to our Healer.

In order to do this we have to share what we are going through, even if it doesn’t look pretty. This intimacy is difficult, and it’s even what keeps many marriages from true, authentic love. It involves lowering your shield and allowing yourself to be exposed to other people; giving them the ability to hurt you. This also involves trust.

Trust in other people? Perhaps. Really, we’re trusting God. Trusting that He knows what is best for us, and will use these imperfect people to make us look more like Him (which is His ultimate goal). 

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1 JOHN 1:6-7

If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

Bringing things into the light means they will be visible to others as well. This part of honesty and accountability is a key first step in removing the evil one’s stronghold on an area of suffering or sin that is keeping us captive and stuck. Jesus paid for you to have an abundant life in Him! So use the community He has put around you and invite someone to see what you’ve been going through. You never know—your faithfulness to do so might spur others on to do the same!

4. PURSUING RECONCILIATION MATTHEW 18:15

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

(Continue reading in Matthew 18:15-17.)

Oftentimes, we are tempted to climb into the safety of our community to seek comfort in the midst of conflict. There is certainly a place for finding comfort in those God has placed around you. However, this community—looking to God’s wisdom for discernment—can help to determine if the conflict is bad (persecution) or good (an opportunity to show others a picture of Jesus).

Let’s focus on general conflict between community members because it’s what is most common.

Conflict can be an excellent way to highlight the power and grace of our Heavenly Father. It’s also a part of how people can grow closer together. Conflict hurts because it involves a sensitive area of ourselves that has been exposed or called out. This may be an area that still needs healing, and—even though the conflict may have come about because of someone’s poor intent—it can be turned into an opportunity to find that healing and bring things into the light for God’s Spirit to heal in the midst of your community members.

Because Jesus Christ has forgiven us of infinitely more than we could ever be called on to forgive another person, we should never find ourselves in a position of being unwilling to pursue restoration of a relationship. Let the below passage and ensuing parable that Jesus tells be a warning to us should we consider ourselves beyond forgiveness and reconciliation:

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MATTHEW 18:21-22

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

(Continue reading the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18:23-35.)

5. GOING TO GOD FOR HELP 2 TIMOTHY 3:16-17

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

A community defined by God should follow His Word closely and trust in the direction He gives us through it. Remember, that there are generally two buckets of knowledge: The wisdom of God, and the knowledge of man. Like oil and water, it’s unfruitful to try to mix these two. When we attempt to live in God’s world apart from His way, we are inviting counsel from God’s enemy to sneak in and pull our focus (or our worship) away from God. The truth is, we need God’s Word more than we need man’s knowledge. His truth is the only way to get a proper interpretation of our need.

Most people are far more concerned with what the world says than what the Word says.

Because there is such a constant flow of worldly counsel in our lives, we need to be a community that goes to God with all of our needs, requests, problems, desires, celebrations, griefs, and sorrows. God is the source of life, wisdom, and healing that we desperately need. And our community is a good place to be reminded of this when we are hurting or running away from our Creator.

JAMES 1:5

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Sometimes people from our community share things with us that we don’t want to hear. That’s where looking to God’s unchanging and living Word helps us keep unity while pursuing holiness. When we each seek the counsel of God, we should all hear something that agrees. God would not speak truth to one person that disagrees with another. When we all submit to God’s leadership in our lives, we will begin to shift our perspective and allow only what is sinful in us to feel offended (putting to death what is impure), and then we can feel strengthened by our friendships which have pursued our best interest—even when it was hard for them socially. 

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6. ENCOURAGING AND ADMONISHING FAITHFULLY COLOSSIANS 3:16a

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom.

GALATIANS 6:1-4

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor.

Jesus calls His Church to be counter-cultural. Our goals, aspirations and values should be different from those of the world. God will use the temptations of the world to help us see the areas of our hearts that still need to be reconciled to His, and this is fertile ground for the work of God’s community in admonishing and encouraging one another toward restoration.

If our goal is maturity in following Jesus, we must help each other out. We cannot do this alone. God has given us the gift of one another. And although we are each imperfect, God uses each of us to tangibly encourage one another by the truth of His Word. We use His wisdom rather than our own ideas as we help one another pursue change.

Jesus tells us that we should deal with our sin radically. The Church should be a safe place for sinners seeking to grow in the likeness of Christ, but not a safe place for sin. It is okay to not be okay, but it is not okay to stay there. The call to repentance should be evident in our community.

This means sometimes we admonish, or reprimand someone in our community when we see they are doing something that dishonors God. Our culture doesn’t like being challenged, but we are called to live counter-culturally. Scripture says other people will know you are Jesus-followers because of the love you have for one another (John 13:35), and sometimes this love is shown in doing hard things for the benefit of another and expense of our own comfort.

Jesus tells us that if a brother or sister is straying from God’s Word in a pattern of sin, we have a responsibility to pursue that person in gentleness and love and to plead with them to return to Him. He has given a process to engage the person (Matt. 18:1517). This might be thought of as the crucible of redemptive community, which helps shape our worship and expose what we love. The Church serves as a witness as to whether someone is choosing their sin or the Savior.

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ECCLESIASTES 4:9-10;12b

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow … a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Do not forget that God is the One who heals and ultimately restores to right standing. You are not in this alone (God is the third strand in the “cord”).

Oftentimes we operate in our own strength (the “toil” mentioned above), and fail to remember that it is the Lord who changes hearts and minds (Prov. 21:1). Giving advice is not the answer; rather, helping others go to God with their worries and concerns is a strength that is only found in a healthy biblical community.

7. LOVING THOSE ON THE OUTSIDE 2 CORINTHIANS 5:18-20a

All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ …

The life change that we have experienced because of the person and work of Jesus Christ should be so radical that we cannot keep it to ourselves. We must show the same love that we have received and that has saved our souls to those on the “outside.”

Jesus tells us that we should receive and care for the weak, the wounded, the strayed, the lost, the afflicted, the addicted, the abused and confused who come honestly seeking help. When we welcome them, we welcome Him (Matt. 25:40). It is okay to come to Him in our brokenness.

(Consider also reading Hebrews 13:14-16)

Biblical community should be marked by love, unity and the pursuit of holiness. The family of God should be a redemptive family system. As citizens of the Kingdom, we have a responsibility to reflect Christ in our homes, churches and communities. Our practices should reflect our greatest treasure, which is Jesus Christ. All of the above markers should indicate to others that we are different.



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WE E K ONE

The Beginning: Creation and Fall

Day One INTRODUCIN G THE CR E ATOR To know God is to love God. (He is that good!) To love God is to trust God. To trust God is to obey God. Therefore, let us introduce you to God. In the beginning, God laid the foundation of the world with precision and in an awesome display of His immeasurable power, to His glory.

PSALM 8:1

HEBREWS 1:10

O Lord, our Lord, how

You Lord, laid the

majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens.

foundation of the earth in the beginning, and the heavens are the work of your hands.

RE AD GENESIS 1:1 –2 : 3

1.

Who is the central character introduced in the creation narrative? Who is ultimately inspiring the writer to write? What does this tell us about our Creator’s desire for us to know Him?

REVEL ATION 4:11

Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created 2.

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What can be known about God in observing this opening scene?

WEEK ONE

POINT OF INTEREST: Blurring the distinction between the Creator and the creation lends to all kinds of problems, as He alone is worthy of our worship.

ROMANS 1:25

They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

3.

How is the creation described in Genesis 1:2?

4.

Through what means does God bring light to the darkness, bring order to what is disordered and fill what is empty?

HEBREWS 11:3

By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.

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5.

Where is God in relation to what He governs?

ACTS 17:26 –27

And He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward Him and find Him. Yet He is actually not far from each one of us.

6.

What is the result when God speaks (vv. 3, 6, 9, 11, 14, 20, 24, 26, 29)? How might this affect our confidence in God to deliver on His promises or His ability to carry them out?

7.

What adjective is used to describe all that proceeds from God (vv. 4, 10, 12, 18, 25, 31)?

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WEEK ONE

8.

God is creating with rhythm. He is ordering time, space and matter. He orders work and rest. What work is done between evening and morning each day? What is done on the seventh day?

MARK 2:27

And he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.”

9.

How does God create mankind distinct from the rest of His creation (v. 26)?

In a world that is searching for identity, what does this tell us about who we are?

POINT OF INTEREST: In a world that is confused about gender, we see God create male and female equal but distinct, of the same kind but different.

PSALM 8:3– 6

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You have given him dominion over the works of your hands; you have put all things under his feet.

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10.

Verse 28 is referred to as the cultural mandate. In a world that is searching for purpose, what has God revealed as our purpose?

11.

The mandate gives authority (responsibility) to steward God’s creation. As image bearers, whose character are we to emulate in the stewardship of the creation? How does naming suggest authority?

JOHN 1:1 –3

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made.

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WEEK ONE

Day Two THE CR E ATION : A D IFFE R E NT VA NTAG E PO INT Under God’s authority, we find human flourishing. The Genesis 2 account helps us see the sixth day of creation from a different vantage point. We see His care, presence, provision, protection and direction.

READ GENESIS 2:4 –25

1.

Describe the initial degree of fruitfulness of the land (vv. 5–6).

2.

What does God do (vv. 7–9)?

3.

How is the abundance of provision that sustains life described (vv. 9–14)?

4.

How can we make sense of the presence of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in a world that is described as “very good”?

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5.

According to Genesis 2:15, why did God place Adam in the garden?

6.

Who is responsible for what in producing fruitfulness in the garden?

7.

What direction does God give to Adam as He places him in the garden (v. 16)? Is this to hinder and harm him or preserve and protect him?

8.

Why is it not good for Adam to be alone? (Hint: See God’s purpose in Genesis 1:28.)

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9.

How does God form Eve? For what purpose?

10.

Imagine and describe a world without shame.

11.

In reflecting on the garden paradise, do you believe God wants us to experience enjoyment and pleasure?

POINT OF INTEREST: In verse 4 a personal name is given to the Creator: “Yahweh” (translated “the LORD”). This is the covenantal name of God (explaining the nature of the relationship between God with His people) and also sets Him apart as self-sufficient, self-sustaining and the Creator of all things.

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Day Three M A RRIAG E – GOD ’ S IDE A RE-READ GENESIS 2:18–25

1.

According to Genesis 2:24, what two actions are to happen when a man and a woman marry? How does this fit into man’s purpose of Genesis 1:28?

2.

Whose idea is marriage? With all the confusion in the culture over the definition of marriage, who does God ordain marriage between (in terms of male and female)? How does this fit into the purposes of Genesis 1:28?

3.

If God instituted marriage, then what does this imply about God’s authority to govern marriage?

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4.

Whose idea is sex (“you shall become one flesh”)? In what context is sex to be enjoyed? How does this fit into man’s purpose of Genesis 1:28?

5.

If God created sex, then what does this imply about God’s authority to govern sex?

GLIMPSE OF THE GOSPEL: God brings forth Adam’s bride from his wounded side. Adam awakens in celebration to claim her as his own in the most intimate of all human relationships without shame. This foreshadows the bride of Christ, the church, who is brought forth from the wounds of Christ. He too awakens in celebration to claim her as His own in the most intimate of all relationships without shame.

READ ISAIAH 45:9 –13

6.

In verse 9, how does Isaiah describe the relationship between the Creator and the created? Is there a warning given to those who question the Lord?

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7.

According to verse 12, who made the earth and created mankind?

What does this imply about who has the right to define human purpose and design?

8.

What actions does God claim for Himself in verse 12?

How do these actions reinforce who He is?

9.

In verses 9–12, how is God described in contrast to humanity?

List specific words, images, or actions from the text that highlight this distinction.

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WEEK ONE

READ 1 CORINTHIANS 7:10 –11

10.

What instruction does Paul give to married believers?

POINT OF INTEREST: Divorce is either sinful or the result of sin. Sin separates. Those who continue in sin cause separation. Divorce is often making legal what has already happened relationally (covenantally).

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

GENESIS 2:24

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

WEEK ONE

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Day Four THE FA LL : THE ORIG IN S OF S IN A ND SUFFE RING JOHN 10:10

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

READ GENESIS 3:1–24

1.

What do we learn about the serpent in verse 1? Why might we suspect that this is more than a mere snake?

REVEL ATION 20:2

And he seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years.

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WEEK ONE

2.

What does the serpent challenge (v. 1)? The enemy baits the woman, drawing her in by making an overstatement. How does he overstate or twist what God had said?

3.

What does the woman’s attempt to clarify reveal about her belief/understanding of God’s command to Adam? What is different?

4.

Hearing the uncertainty in her voice, the serpent seizes his opportunity and he plants the seed of deception. What lie does he sow in Eve’s heart?

5.

What is the serpent suggesting to the woman about the character and nature of God (v. 5)?

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6.

What reasoning does the woman use when she ingests the lie and makes the decision to eat the fruit in verse 6? What does she not consider in her decision?

POINT OF INTEREST: Temptation wouldn’t be tempting if it didn’t look good.

Satan makes something evil look good. The anatomy of temptation involves real personal evil (Satan and demons) enticing the flesh through the world.

7.

Using the above point, list the elements of temptation in this story:

– Real evil:

– Enticing the flesh:

– Manipulating God’s creation:

8.

Where is Adam during this exchange (v 6)? Instead of following God’s instruction, what does Adam do (v. 17)?

9.

What do Adam and Eve exchange the goodness and glory of God for?

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WEEK ONE

ROMANS 1:25

They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

10.

How did they attempt to remedy their own nakedness (v. 7)?

Did it work (v. 10)?

11.

Where does this leave the man and his wife in relationship with God (v. 8)?

Why (v. 10)?

12.

As a result of their disobedience, how will pain and suffering be evident in their lives?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

ROMANS 5:12

Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned.

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Day Five THE R E ME DY FOR IN SA NIT Y RE-READ GENESIS 3:8–24

1.

We tend to avoid God and His word when we are in sin. God however, pursues that which He loves. In his pursuit of the man and the woman, does he appear to be panicked?

2.

What question does God ask the man initially (v. 9)?

3.

How does the man’s response reveal something has gone terribly wrong?

(Compare to Genesis 2:25.)

4.

What two follow-up questions does God ask the man?

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WEEK ONE

5.

How does Adam respond to these two questions? What is the story he tells (the context of his rebellion)? Are there any inaccuracies in his account? Does he take responsibility for his part (v. 12)? Where does God turn next (v. 13)?

6.

What question does God ask the woman?

7.

How does Eve respond? What story does she tell? Are there any inaccuracies in her account? Does she confess her part? Where does God turn next?

8.

Who does God curse in verse 14?

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9.

What cosmic conflict is described in verse 15? What is known about her offspring?

GLIMPSE OF THE GOSPEL: Verse 15 is considered by scholars as the protoevangelium or “first gospel.” Some consider it the first prophecy of the coming Messiah, fulfilled in Jesus Christ.

10.

What meaning is behind Adam’s naming his wife Eve (v. 20)? What does God say in verse 15 that might lead Adam to give her such a name? Would that suggest belief or unbelief in the “first gospel”?

11.

What is the covering that God provides for Adam and Eve? Why do you think He chose this covering?

GLIMPSE OF THE GOSPEL: Animal skins require the shedding of blood. This foreshadows the Old Testament sacrificial system for the atonement of sin through the shedding of innocent blood. Jesus became the perfect, sinless sacrifice to take away the sins of the world.

ROMANS 5:12

Indeed, under the law almost everything is purified with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins.

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WEEK ONE

Day Six A NOTHE R WAY ?

READ GENESIS 4:1–7

1.

Compare and contrast the two brothers’ work.

2.

What offerings did each bring?

3.

What did God have regard for (v. 4)? What did he not have regard for?

POINT OF INTEREST: Did you notice how God saw both the offering and the person’s heart/motivations behind their chosen offering?

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HEBREWS 11:4

By faith Abel offered to God a more acceptable sacrifice than Cain, through which he was commended as righteous, God commending him by accepting his gifts. And through his faith, though he died, he still speaks.

4.

How does Cain respond to the rejection of the works of his own hands?

5.

How does God encourage Cain to come to Him a different way (repent)?

6.

How is Cain’s response to God’s questioning different from Adam’s (Genesis 3:12)?

GLIMPSE OF THE GOSPEL: The invitation to acceptance could be heard with a religious lens to try harder or a gospel lens to repent of the works of our own hands and trust in Christ’s perfect sacrifice.

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WEEK ONE

READ GENESIS 4:8–16

7.

What is Cain’s response to the Lord’s discipline (v. 12-13)? Who is Cain still most concerned about?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

HEBREWS 12:11

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

POINT OF INTEREST: Dead religion consists of man’s vain attempts to appease God through the works of his own hands. Christianity is turning from our dead works and trusting in the finished work of Christ.

8.

Looking at verses 15-16, how was the Lord gracious to Cain, despite Cain’s continued rebellion and self-interest?

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Day Seven ME NTOR S HIP D I SCUS S ION PR E P 1.

Day one introduces us to a creation that was initially empty, dark and disordered. To what degree do these describe your life? If they don’t, what words would describe your life?

2.

We were also introduced to our Creator who, by His word, brought order, life and light to His creation. Do you believe that He is doing this among us? Why or why not?

3.

We believe evidence of God’s love, pursuit of and plan for you is why you are sitting under God’s word in this study. How is your heart responding to that pursuit? Are you listening and receiving or rejecting?

4.

According to the creation account, a thriving human being is to live in a loving, dependent relationship with his Creator. In what ways have you looked to the creation rather than the Creator (for care, direction, protection, provision, power, satisfaction, comfort, security, stability, hope, happiness, purpose, identity, meaning and value)?

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JEREMIAH 2:13

“For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.”

5.

Describe your current suffering. How are you responding?

6.

God created us to be in loving relationships with Himself and others.

Describe your close community and friends. Do you reach out to others when you need help? Why or why not? Where do they point you for hope?

7.

In what ways do you disregard God’s voice and follow another voice in pursuit of your own desires?

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8.

What are the “fig leaves” in your life — ways you have tried to remedy the problem of sin with external solutions (religious activity, performance, possessions, power, personality, people, posterity, positions, etc.)?

9.

How have you attempted to justify yourself (value, worth, etc.) before God and others?

GAL ATIANS 2:21

I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.

10.

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Our self-reliant attempts to manage our sin or to control others’ sin reveals that we believe we are powerful enough to fix the problem. Understanding the magnitude of the problem helps us to see it is beyond us. Have you admitted that you are powerless and defeated apart from Christ? Do your actions reflect this? How so?

WEEK ONE

BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 1 Man, in relationship to his Creator, has fallen from a place of dignity, humility and dependence to a state of depravity, pride and rebellion. This has led to unfathomable suffering. Any attempts on our own to redeem ourselves are futile, only increasing the problem of independence and self-sufficiency. Any perceived success leads only to empty vanity. Apart from Christ, we admitted we are powerless to overcome sin (ours and others), and our attempts to control it only increase our chaos.

EPHESIANS 2:1 –3

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

11.

As we examine our lives through the lens of scripture it helps us to see what is most true. In light of what we have covered this week, what prayer would you like to offer to God about where you are at?

WEEK ONE

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Large Group Teaching Notes

The Beginning: Creation and Fall When we are properly aligned, everything else will fall into place.

“What you think about when you think about God is the most important thing about you.”

– A.W. Tozer

Our perception and understanding of God significantly shapes who we are and how we live our lives.

GENESIS 1:1

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.

There is only one God, and He alone __________________ all things.  God is the Sovereign, creative God.  He is the One who starts/begins, and is the active Agent in everything.  His words have power!  God is careful, intentional, and mindful of His creation.

GENESIS 1:2-4

The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness.

There’s a response that God has to His creation: It was _____________.  God is the One who is defining what is good.  He creates with purpose, order, and boundaries.

GENESIS 1:26-28

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

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WEEK ONE

Large Group Teaching Notes

God endows and bestows a _________________ and a _________________ on this special part of creation known as man and woman.

Humans are bearers of God’s image. Our lives matter and have dignity. Why? Because of God’s designation and gift. Not because of anything we’ve done or can do.

We matter and we are significant!

You are made in the image of God!

GENESIS 2:15-17

The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”

In His authority, God is establishing _______________________ and giving instructions for how humanity can flourish.

How do we flourish? Obedience to God’s authority.

But there is one who will challenge God’s authority and trustworthiness …

GENESIS 3:1b;4b

“Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” … “You will not surely die.”

The enemy of God begins to undermine the trustworthiness and character of God.

Despite what you think and can reason within your own capabilities, God calls us to trust Him.

The Sadness: In Genesis 3, we see that Adam and Eve begin to hide. Shame enters the world. Disordered creation is now a reality. Death and decay are here, and there is a separation (distance) between God and His precious creation.

WEEK ONE

The Hope: Genesis 3:15 – God’s plan will come to fruition through Jesus!

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Large Group Teaching Notes

The Bible is laying forth a correct __________________ of what has gone awry in the world, and in your heart and mine.

God created humanity for a purpose: to ________________ to Him and ________________ Him and _______________ Him forever.

Problem: Sin is blocking us from our purpose. We’re stuck or blind.

1 JOHN 3:4

Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness.

You and I, since the fall, have been in a posture and a position of __________________ and enmity against the true God.  Turning away from God has created division, offense and insubordination.  We’ve been searching for purposes in things that are empty.

ROMANS 6:23a

For the wages of sin is death What you and I have earned because of our sin, what we deserve because of sin, is __________________ .  This death is both physical and spiritual.  Death does not end with our life in this world. There is an eternal aspect to our existence – where and how we spend eternity (with or apart from God).

An eternal punishment is just because there’s a holy and righteous God we have __________________ .

Perhaps we do not understand how deep the offense of our sins are.

EPHESIANS 2:1-3

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

Sin is not simply _____________ you do. It’s ____________ you are.

We cannot fundamentally change who we are. There is nothing we can do.

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WEEK ONE

Large Group Teaching Notes

I am a child of __________________ and I have been since the beginning.

When we rail against what God is saying, we act like the serpent and undermine the authority and trustworthiness of God’s Word.

I need a __________________.

God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. He not only created, but He re-creates.

THOMAS WATSON:

“Til sin be bitter, Christ will not be sweet.”

Until we realize how bad our sin is, we will not understand the extent of the rescue operation God has entered into for our sake.

To the beautiful, God says “You’re __________________” To the broken, God says He’s in the business of __________________ .

Biblical Truth from Week 1 of Thrive: Man, in relationship to his Creator, has fallen from a place of dignity, humility and dependence to a state of depravity, pride and rebellion. This has led to unfathomable suffering. Any attempts on our own to redeem ourselves are futile, only increasing the problem of independence and self-sufficiency. Any perceived success leads only to empty vanity. Apart from Christ, we admitted we are powerless to overcome sin (ours and others), and our attempts to control it only increase our chaos.

God has made a way!

Blanks: created; good; dignity; worth; boundaries; diagnosis; relate; enjoy; glorify; rebellion; death; offended; what; who; wrath; rescuer; broken; re-creating WEEK ONE

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Small Group Notes:

Prayer Requests:

Mentor Meeting Your next Mentor meeting will cover contents from the Day 7 homework a few pages back, as well as anything from today’s lesson and group conversation.

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WEEK ONE

WE E K T WO

The Remedy: The Gospel

WEEK TWO

Day One THE L AW The law helps us to see where we are operating outside of God’s intended design.

Though God is moral, moralism (mere outward obedience to the law) is not a remedy for sin. The law cannot heal nor does it provide the means of grace for us to be reconciled to God. READ DEUTERONOMY 5:1–22 These verses contain the Ten Commandments that God gave Moses at Mount Sinai.

Man, apart from God’s grace, will relate to God’s law by either rebelling against it or attempting to adhere to it through his own efforts. Both approaches miss the grace of God needed to be reconciled to Him, as each attempts to remedy the problem of sin independent of God.

ROMANS 3:20

For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin.

1.

According to Romans 3:20, what comes through the law? Will any fallen human be able to have right standing before God by merely trying to obey the law?

READ MATTHEW 5:17– 48

2.

According to verse 17, why did Christ come? What does this mean for us?

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WEEK TWO

GLIMPSE OF THE GOSPEL: Jesus engages a misunderstanding and misapplication of the law by giving a more robust understanding of the law.

In doing so, He orients us around Himself as the one who fulfills the righteous requirement of the law. At the same time, He is calling His people to a greater righteousness than that of the Pharisees (outward righteousness).

MAT THEW 23:27

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness.”

3.

In verse 27 of Matthew 5, Jesus quotes the law. Verse 28 reveals the spirit behind the Law. Looking at the last word of verse 28, what does Jesus address?

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4.

Complete the following chart based on Matthew 5:21–43. First, observe what Jesus says. Then honestly evaluate your own heart and circle the verdict in column 4. Finally, what application is Jesus asking of you?

VERSE

YOU HAVE HEARD THE WORLD’S WAY

BUT I SAY GOD’S COMMAND

IMPLICATION (CIRCLE ONE)

21

“You shall not murder.”

“Whoever murders will be liable to judgment.”

“Everyone who is angry ...

Who insults ... ” “Will be liable to judgment ... and council.”

GUILT Y/ NOT GUILT Y

27

GUILT Y/ NOT GUILT Y

31

GUILT Y/ NOT GUILT Y

33

GUILT Y/ NOT GUILT Y

38

GUILT Y/ NOT GUILT Y

43

GUILT Y/ NOT GUILT Y

APPLICATION

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

GAL ATIANS 2:21

I do not nullify the grace of God, for if justification were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.

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WEEK TWO

Day Two THE E X TE NT OF GOD ’ S J US TI CE A ND M A N ’ S S IN READ GENESIS 6:5 –22

1.

What was the state of the world and the condition of man’s heart (v. 5)?

2.

What was God’s heart toward this condition (v. 6)?

3.

According to the narrative of Noah and the flood, what is God’s good and righteous judgment against sin (vv. 7, 13, 17)?

POINT OF INTEREST: God is holy and just. God is right to punish sin.

4.

Why does God preserve Noah’s life (v.9)?

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HEBREWS 11:7

By faith Noah, being warned by God concerning events as yet unseen, in reverent fear constructed an ark for the saving of his household. By this he condemned the world and became an heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.”

5.

How is Noah’s faith demonstrated?

6.

How does the reality of hell demonstrate the holiness and justice of God and how He views sin (Matthew 13:47–50; 25:31–46)?

7.

What does the cross of Christ communicate about the justice of God and how far He is willing to go in order to eradicate evil (sin) and injustice as well as preserve His people?

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WEEK TWO

MAT THEW 7:13

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.”

READ ROMANS 1:18–2:3

8.

How does mankind “by their unrighteousness suppress the truth” (vv. 21–23)?

9.

What does this produce (vv. 29–31)?

10.

In response to their actions, how does God carry out His wrath? What does He give them over to (vv. 24, 26, 28)?

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11.

Romans 2:1–3 addresses the self-righteous. How does God respond to the attitude that says, “Thank you that I am not like them” (Luke 18:9–14)?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSES

ROMANS 3:23

ROMANS 6:23

For the wages of sin is For all have sinned and fall

death, but the free gift of

short of the glory of God.

God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

GLIMPSE OF THE GOSPEL: The law can bring justice outwardly but only the gospel can reconcile our hearts to His.

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WEEK TWO

Day Three PROPHEC Y – THE SUFFE RING S E RVA NT The Old Testament is filled with shadows, types, promises and prophecies of the coming Redeemer (Jesus). It helps us to recognize what will be true of Him, that we might recognize Him in His coming.

PHILIPPIANS 2:8 – 9

And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name.

READ ISAIAH 52:13–53:12 POINT OF INTEREST: The idea behind “so shall he sprinkle many nations” looks forward to the cleansing made available through Jesus’ atoning work.

FOR FURTHER STUDY: Ministry of sprinkling — Exodus 29:21; Leviticus 4:1–21; 14:7; 16:14–19; Hebrews 9:13–14, 19–22; 10:19–22; 12:22–24; 1 Peter 1:2.

1.

Why might it have been difficult to put your hope in Christ based on appearance alone (verses 52:14 and 53:2)?

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2.

What was it like to be in His shoes (v. 53:3)?

3.

Why was He wounded and crushed (v. 53:5)?

4.

How did Jesus respond to those who hated Him (v. 53:7)?

1 PETER 2:23

When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.

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WEEK TWO

5.

Though He was crucified between two criminals and buried in a rich man’s tomb, what was true about Jesus (v 53:9)?

MAT THEW 27:38

Then two robbers were crucified with him, one on the right and one on the left.

6.

What was God’s will for the servant (v. 53:10)?

7.

After God’s will was fulfilled, what would the suffering servant see (v. 10–11)?

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8.

How is this possible if the suffering servant is killed?

POINT OF INTEREST: Isaiah wrote this prophecy approximately 700 years before the suffering servant entered the world.

READ ISAIAH 54 –55

9.

According to chapter 54, what hope might the good news of the gospel bring to someone suffering physically, specifically those struggling with infertility (vv. 1–3) or the loss of a spouse (vv. 4–6)?

PSALM 68:5 – 6

Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

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WEEK TWO

10.

In light of the hope that this good news brings, what is the invitation in chapter 55?

JOHN 4:13–14

Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.

WEEK TWO

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Day Four HOPE – LIG HT COME S INTO THE WOR LD READ JOHN 1:1–18 The Word became flesh. Jesus brings light to the darkness, order to our disordered hearts and lives and fills us with the life of Christ.

1.

In what ways does this text sound familiar? See Genesis 1:1.

2.

Who is the Word (vv. 1, 14)?

3.

Where was He during creation (v. 2)?

4.

What was done “through Him” (v. 3)?

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WEEK TWO

5.

What is “in Him” (v. 4)?

6.

What is “the life” (v. 4)?

7.

Where can we find hope in our darkness?

8.

To whom does the true light give the right to become children of God (v. 12)?

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9.

On what basis does the true Light give the right to become children of God (v. 13)?

JOHN 3:5

Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.” 10.

How can we know God?

11.

What invitation does Jesus give in verses 39 and 43?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

JOHN 3:8

The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.

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WEEK TWO

Day Five ME RC Y TRI UMPH S OV E R J UDG ME NT

EXODUS 34:6 –7

The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

READ JOHN 8:3–12

1.

Who is brought to Jesus? Why was she brought to Him? What did they want from Him?

2.

How must she have felt?

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3.

According to the law, what penalty is she facing (v. 5)?

4.

What does Jesus do when He bends down (v. 6)?

EXODUS 31:18

And He gave to Moses, when He had finished speaking with him on Mount Sinai, the two tablets of the testimony, tablets of stone, written with the finger of God.

5.

How does Jesus disqualify those who may be tempted to bring judgment against the woman (v. 7)?

6.

How is Jesus uniquely qualified to bring judgment or extend mercy?

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WEEK TWO

ROMANS 9:15

For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.”

7.

What does Jesus not do in verse 11?

8.

In extending mercy, what does Jesus command her to do?

9.

In verse 12, who does Jesus claim to be?

10.

How does the story of the woman caught in adultery point to this?

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11.

Who will have the light of life (v. 12)?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

JOHN 3:17

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

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WEEK TWO

Day Six TO A N UNK NOWN GOD READ ACTS 17:16 –34 Paul’s spirit is troubled because of the idols represented in the beautiful architecture around the city of Athens. These were symbolic of the heart of the people who were worshiping demons rather than God. Because there were so many false gods being portrayed, Paul found himself compelled to reveal the known God to those who did not know Him (and were giving honor to an altar of “the unknown god”). The philosophers called him a babbler—someone who picks at various ideas without understanding them and with no real message.

1 CORINTHIANS 1:18

For the word of the cross is folly for those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 1.

Does it appear the people were sincerely interested in the gospel or merely just into learning about it?

2 TIMOTHY 3:7

Always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.

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2.

In verse 28, Paul engages the culture, quoting their own poets. Rather than arguing with them, he says that if what they are saying is true, what else must be true? What should not be worshiped?

3.

In what three ways does Paul’s audience respond?

4.

The vague pluralistic spirituality that existed in Athens (Acts 17) resulted in the Athenians devoting themselves to empty religious activities serving imaginary “gods.” Is it wise to choose your own conception of God? What is the danger?

5.

Many times we operate in the moment out of our feelings and patterns established over time rather than what we know or believe deeply to be true. This highlights a gap between our brain and our heart, so to speak.

The way we react spontaneously to statements about God and ourselves can tell us where we might be misaligned in our view of the Creator and the way He created us. If we are out of alignment foundationally, the ripple effect can become noticeable. Consider taking this evaluation called “The Concept of God.” Each of the questions will ask you to complete a simple sentence. Don’t attempt to write the correct answer. Simply write the first thing that comes to your mind. Later on when you meet with your Mentor, you will begin to see where you may be operating out of a misconception of God and yourself.

See Appendix B for the Concept of God Worksheet

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WEEK TWO

Day Seven ME NTOR S HIP D I SCUS S ION PR E P 1.

If your heart wants to follow God’s perfect law but it ends up disobeying God, how heavy does this feel to you?

2.

Judgment and hell are unpleasant realities we tend to avoid and dismiss.

How do these realities add weight to our sin? How does this help us see the love of God in what Jesus suffered for us? What is happening in your heart?

3.

In what ways do you suppress the truth or live in denial? See Romans 1:18.

4.

How do you relate to the law? In your sinful nature, are you fairly moral with a tendency to look down on others who are not as good or do you tend to disregard it?

Where are you on the spectrum of law and grace?

(Circle the dots where you tend to naturally operate.)

Jesus paid it all so sin isn’t a big deal.

(I tend toward mercy and grace)

My righteousness comes from obeying the law.

(I tend toward legalism)

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ROMANS 7:18

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh.

5.

If the antidote to unrighteousness is not self-righteousness, what is it?

MAT THEW 5:17

Do not think I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.

6.

What about Christ and the gospel did you find beautiful this week?

7.

In the past, to what or whom did you look to satisfy your thirst (Isaiah 55:1–2)? In what or in whom did you place your trust?

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WEEK TWO

EX TR A OPPORTUNIT Y: If you haven't yet worked on the Concept of God worksheet (found in Appendix B), please consider completing it now. You may have time to bring this up with your Mentor in your next meeting.

8.

Scripture is clear: We must make a decision about our belief in Jesus.

What is our reality if we do nothing and ignore the call of God?

JOHN 3:18

Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. 9.

How have you responded to the invitation to trust in the suffering servant, the one who has come so that the world might be saved through Him?

MAT THEW 11:28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

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10.

In Acts 17:22–23, Paul says the men of Athens are very religious. Their habits and priorities (whether in the religious centers or in the marketplace) point to what they worship and live for. What do the practices of your life reveal about what you worship and serve?

DEUTERONOMY 5:7– 9

You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God. BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 2 : God lovingly intervened in our chaos and provided a remedy for the insanity of sin and the way back into fellowship with Him. We believe that by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, we can be redeemed.

EPHESIANS 2:4 – 9

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ — by grace you have been saved — and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

The Remedy: The Gospel THE PROBLEM GOD’S AUTHORITY God is present with His people who are in the place that He created for them. Man has dependence upon God. This is the design and order for how things were supposed to be.    

A rival kingdom is introduced.

All of humanity suffers the consequences.

The “fall” impacts all life.

Humans move from dignity to depravity.

EPHESIANS 2:1-3

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

REVELATION 21:1-5

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.”  

We are on the other side, but we are longing to be a part of the new creation.

We need someone to help us.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

SOLUTIONS The world will come in and offer a false solution, a false hope, a false ________________ . (or, a false solution)

Some of the false solutions or counterfeit gospels we tend to believe: False statement I am good.

I am a good person.

I’m not as bad as that person.

True statement Something other than God is ruling and reigning over our hearts and lives.

The standard we have to live up to is the perfection of our Creator God. But all have sinned and fall short. (Romans 3:23)

As long as you have some belief in a higher power, you’re alright.

Am I believing in God rightly, as He has revealed Himself?

We are held accountable for believing God rightly.

We need rescue from the real thing. A counterfeit won’t work. (Ephesians 2:4-7)

EPHESIANS 2:4-9

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Redemption – The ________________ purchased through a ransom, paid by a redeemer on behalf of the enslaved.

There was an amount that we owed because of being enslaved to sin. Jesus, on the cross, paid the price for our freedom and ________________ us.

The implications of when the gospel takes root in the human heart (regardless of the idol) can be revealed through more deeply understanding a popular cycle diagram on the next page.

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WEEK TWO

Large Group Teaching Notes

INSANITY CYCLE

Insanity – Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

A picture of the life of sin. (Ephesians 2:1) Stuck in a cycle that will never satisfy THE HEART OF THE PROBLEM: JAMES 1:14

Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.

The Enemy works through the world to entice the flesh, and it reveals that the brokenness is coming from our own ________________ .

You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you. – Augustine

In the insanity of running to created things, we are looking to a physical thing to solve a ________________ problem.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

Whatever is in that seat of highest worship in our life, we will ________________ and ________________ for it.

The only thing that’s safe in our life is the thing in that place of highest worship in our hearts. Whatever is in that place of primary affection we will pursue it and sacrifice for it, and anything else can be sacrificed on the alter for it.

We can just as easily trade in unrighteousness for self-righteousness when what we really need is _______________ righteousness.

The remedy for this insanity is the redemption that comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

ROMANS 5:17

For if, because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.

Jesus enters into the cycle; interrupts the cycle; and offers a real solution, the true ________________ solution.

The offer of redemption is to be set free, not to rule your own life, but redemption by way of getting a better ______________ — Jesus.

Who is on the throne of your heart?

Biblical Truth from Week 2 of Thrive: God lovingly intervened into our chaos and provided a remedy for the insanity of sin and the way back into fellowship with Him. We believe that by grace through faith in Jesus Christ we can be redeemed.

Blanks: gospel; freedom; redeemed; hearts; spiritual; pursue; sacrifice; Christ’s; gospel; Master 92

WEEK TWO

Small Group Notes:

Prayer Requests:

Mentor Meeting Your next Mentor meeting will cover contents from the Day 7 homework a few pages back, as well as anything from today’s lesson and group conversation.

WEEK TWO

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WE E K THR E E

The Response: Faith and Repentance

WEEK THREE

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Day One FA ITH I S AC TI V E True belief (faith) in the kindness of God toward us in Christ despite our sin (grace) leads us to repentance, submission, worship, obedience and gratitude.

READ JAMES 2:14 –26

1.

What is the essential question in verse 14? What practical example is given in verses 15 and 16?

2.

How does verse 17 describe faith that does not change how we live?

3.

The Bible seems to be calling into question the faith of those who say they believe but that belief has not translated into how they live. What should saving faith produce (not as a basis of salvation but the result of it)?

4.

Can works alone save you?

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EPHESIANS 2:8 – 9

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

5.

What example is given of the type of belief that does not save (v. 19)?

6.

How is Abraham counted as righteous (v. 23)? What action was the result (v. 21)?

POINT OF INTEREST: Read Genesis 22:1–14 for a fuller understanding of what James is referencing here.

7.

What two other things does verse 26 compare to “faith apart from works”?

8.

What do you learn about the relationship between faith and works in this passage?

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MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

ROMANS 5:1

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

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WEEK THREE

Day Two FE A R OF THE LOR D

PROVERBS 9:10

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.

READ ISAIAH 6:1–13

1.

How does verse 1 describe the Lord?

2.

What posture do the seraphim (angels) exhibit in the Lord’s presence?

3.

What are the angels singing to one another? Whom are they worshiping?

Define holy.

POINT OF INTEREST: The ESV Study Bible note on Isaiah 6:3 says “his glory” is a “technical term for God’s manifest presence with his covenant people.”

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4.

Describe Isaiah’s experience in the presence of the Lord (v. 4).

5.

What does Isaiah realize about himself in the presence of the holiness and glory of God (v.5)?

Humility is the proper estimate of oneself.

CHARLES SPURGEON

6.

How does the Lord extend grace in response to Isaiah’s humility (v. 7)?

1 PETER 5:5

Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

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7.

What can we understand about God’s character and nature from this text?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

EXODUS 34:6 –7

The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

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Day Three GOD ’ S LOV E Jesus came to save sinners.

READ JOHN 3:16 –21

1.

What did God give so that we might have eternal life (v. 16)? What was the cost of that gift?

2.

What in God’s nature and character motivated Him to give us this gift (v. 16)?

3.

What would have happened without Jesus’ coming (v. 16)?

4.

For what purpose was Jesus sent into the world (v. 17)?

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1 JOHN 5:1

Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him.

POINT OF INTEREST: The Greek translation here suggests that true belief in Jesus Christ results from being born of God. Without spiritual rebirth, one cannot truly believe. In this verse, “believes” is present tense and “has been born” is perfect tense. The use of the perfect tense suggests that the action in the past affects the present. Being born of God is the foundation and cause of believing in Christ. Believing is the effect or result of being born of God. One does not believe unless he or she has been “born again.”

5.

What is true about those who believe in Christ? What is true of those who actively reject Christ?

6.

According to verses 19–20, how will unbelievers continue to live?

7.

How will true believers respond to the light?

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MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

1 JOHN 4:9

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.

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Day Four R E PE NTA NCE JOEL 2:12–13

“Yet even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster.

READ LUKE 15

1.

Who draws near to hear Jesus? Who stands on the outside grumbling (vv. 1-2)?

2.

What are the scribes and Pharisees accusing Jesus of doing?

How is the accusation of the self-righteous good news for sinners?

3.

The parable continues for three sections. What occurs following repentance in each of the three sections?

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4.

Focusing on the third section, how many sons are we introduced to?

5.

What is noteworthy about the younger son’s words to his father? Is he more interested in relationship with the father or his stuff?

6.

What does the younger son do with his inheritance?

7.

What are the consequences of his rebellion (vv. 14–16)?

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PHILIPPIANS 3:19

Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.

8.

What do you think the phrase, “he came to himself,” means?

9.

How does he see himself differently as reflected in his speech?

10.

How does his father receive him?

11.

What does he receive from his father?

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POINT OF INTEREST: The robe provides a covering for his filth and shame. The ring signifies that he belongs to his family, and his shoes symbolize that he is a son, not a slave.

12.

Whose blood is shed?

GLIMPSE OF THE GOSPEL: In reading the parable of the prodigal son, we sometimes overlook the cost of the celebration — the life of the fattened calf.

The shed blood of an innocent calf reminds us that our reconciliation with God comes at a price: the precious, innocent Lamb of God. This calf symbolizes the sufficiency of Christ as a portion for many. The older son (the self-righteous) does not seem to value the prized calf in the same way — “you never gave me a goat” — but speaks of it without regard for the treasure it is (as with Christ).

13.

The older brother represents the self-righteous — those who believe they “need no repentance.” Where does the older brother end up during the celebration? How does the father respond to his older son’s anger?

14.

How does the older brother justify himself?

ROMANS 2:4

Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?

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15.

Is the older brother more interested in a relationship with his father or his father’s stuff?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

2 CORINTHIANS 7:10

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

BONUS:

Which elements of the story do you identify with as they pertain to relationships? o o o o o o o o

I value the gifts more than the relationship.

I want benefits, not responsibility.

I am entitled to provision, protection … or just whatever I want.

I’m experiencing consequences from my choices.

I’m wasting resources on myself, my desires, etc.

I’m running out of solutions.

I’m experiencing an intense longing I cannot fulfill.

I feel unclean, shameful, low

(Younger Brother)

(Older Brother)

I am ready to turn around (repent).

I’m willing to accept consequences I feel accepted and am forgiven by the primary One I offended. o I am humble and apologetic. o I am being provided and cared for in spite of what I’ve done.

o o

I’m being celebrated for repenting!

o

o o o

o

o o o

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I don’t need saving.

I am angry about the path of repentance.

I refuse to draw near.

I cling to the rules/law.

I am good enough to figure this out on my own. (self-righteous performance) This isn’t fair. They owe me.

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Day Five J E SUS PROMI S E S THE HOLY S PIRIT EZEKIEL 36:25 –27

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.

READ JOHN 14:15 –31

1.

What is the evidence of our love for Christ (v. 15)?

2.

If we are powerless to do this apart from Him, how does God help the believer do these things (v. 16)?

3.

Where does this Spirit dwell (v. 17)?

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4.

What does God promise His disciples (v. 18)?

5.

Since Christ is alive, what is true for those in Christ?

6.

What does “the Spirit of truth” allow us to know?

1 CORINTHIANS 2:12–13

Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual.

7.

How will Christ manifest Himself to those who love Him but not to the world (v. 23)?

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8.

Christ acknowledges these things while He is still with His disciples. Whom does He identify as the Helper to make them alive in Christ (v. 26)?

9.

What event does Christ hint at in the last verses? Who commands this to happen?

ACTS 2:38

And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”

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Day Six A NEW COV E NA NT POINT OF INTEREST: A covenant in ancient times was a common way in which families or communities extended their blood relationships or permanent alliances to one another. It was a useful tactic that provided strength and resources, but it also meant treating each other like family—as you would a blood relative. It’s a promise that supersedes the other party holding up their end of the bargain. In other words, a covenant is an unconditional arrangement where all parties agree to support one another and pursue reconciliation, regardless of fairness or circumstances. A biblical covenant is one in which God is also a party, and His promise to never leave or forsake His people (Deuteronomy 31:6) assures us that special covenantal relationships with God are permanent—never to be broken.

JEREMIAH 31:31 –33

Behold, the days are coming, declares the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the LORD. But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the LORD: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

READ 2 CORINTHIANS 3:1 – 4:6 CHAPTER 3

1.

What is the “letter from Christ” in verses 2-3? Who wrote it? Where and on what did they write it?

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2.

God makes us competent to be ministers of what (v. 6)?

3.

Compare and contrast how Paul describes the old and new covenants.

4.

According to verse 14, who is the only one who can bring us out from under the old covenant?

5.

What remains over the hearts of those who are under the old covenant?

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6.

What is true about those who behold the Lord with unveiled faces?

CHAPTER 4

7.

Having received this ministry, what do we not do (v. 1)? What do we do (v. 2)?

8.

What is true about those to whom the gospel is veiled?

9.

According to verse 5, what do we proclaim? What do we not proclaim?

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10.

If God can shine light out of darkness, what hope does this bring to His ability to illuminate unbelieving hearts to the gospel?

1 CORINTHIANS 11:25

In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.

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Day Seven ME NTOR S HIP D I SCUS S ION PR E P 1.

If you have received the gift of faith, how has that led to a heartfelt desire to be obedient to God?

2.

Describe any experiences where God’s presence and power humbled you.

3.

Describe how the reality of God’s love has affected your life.

4.

What of God’s character have you come to know as you have walked with Him?

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5.

To whom or to what do you point for your justification? Or to put it another way, how do you attempt to justify yourself to others?

6.

What is your attitude toward God?

7.

What is your view of mankind?

8.

Define repentance. What has been your response to the call to repent? Why?

MAT THEW 3:8

Bear fruit in keeping with repentance.

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9.

What evidence of spiritual rebirth do you see in your life?

10.

Have you responded to the gospel in faith by repenting of your sins and trusting in the finished work of Christ? Have you accepted His invitation to follow Him, forsaking all others? If yes, describe the process. If no, why?

2 CORINTHIANS 5:15 He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

ROMANS 12:1

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

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BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 3: Through the Holy Spirit’s illumination of our desperate and helpless condition before God and the hope that comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ, we step out in faith and repent as an act of worship and obedience, surrendering our will and entrusting our lives to Christ’s care and control. We are reborn spiritually and rescued from the domain of darkness and brought into the kingdom of light, where we now live as a part of Christ’s ever advancing kingdom.

11.

Scripture gives us a lens to see where we stand before God. We cannot have right standing through our works. We can only have right standing surrendered to Christ. What honest prayer do you need to offer up to God?

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Large Group Teaching Notes

The Response: Faith and Repentance Creation > The Fall/Sin > Redemption > Tonight: What does this mean for the individual?

Jesus is not just an add-on to our lives. He is the God of the universe, the ultimate Designer, and He has a purpose and a plan for us. We were bought with a price. (1 Cor. 6:20) We have treated the gospel cheaply, while the gospel is actually __________ .

We have treated grace cheaply when grace is ___________ .

If sin isn’t serious, grace is not that great. | But sin is serious, so grace is great.

Choices we learned about last week as we respond to the ‘dis-ease’ of life (Insanity Cycle):  

Run to something else for comfort (coping) Run to God (repenting)

THE GOSPEL OFFER ROMANS 6:23

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The gospel — the good news — is that God did not leave us in that state but rather did act, did ___________________ . And His intervention was in His Son, Jesus Christ.

The good news is that in the offering of Jesus Christ — life that was righteous, sacrificed for our sake — we are _________________ by grace through faith. 

Purified does not mean we are no longer capable of sinning. It is also not a license to continue sinning.



Rather, it means we are free from those things that formerly enslaved us.

2 CORINTHIANS 5:21

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. You cannot love ________ and love God. WEEK THREE

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Large Group Teaching Notes

THE OPTION OF REPENTANCE God has commanded all of us, in light of our sin, to _______________.

Original Hebrew word: teshuvah ( ‫ ) ְתּשׁוּ ָבה‬literally meaning: to return; or to turn around.

Grace is not permission to run after things and not worry about ramifications or consequences; but rather, grace is a call out of those things to repent and to _______________. 

We will either run to worldly sorrow (where we will be perpetually stuck in a cycle),



or we will run to sorrow that produces repentance (where we will be without regret).

2 CORINTHIANS 7:10

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. 

Godly Grief > Repentance > Restoration of Relationship (Peter example)



Worldly Grief > Trapped in “Insanity Cycle” > Death (Judas example) Read Luke 15:1-2 (Pharisees), 11-24 (Younger Brother), 25-32 (Older Brother)

Which elements of the story do you identify with as they pertain to relationships? o o o o o o o o

I value the gifts more than the relationship.

I want benefits, not responsibility.

I am entitled to provision, protection … or just whatever I want.

I’m experiencing consequences from my choices.

I’m wasting resources on myself, my desires, etc.

I’m running out of solutions.

I’m experiencing an intense longing I cannot fulfill.

I feel unclean, shameful, low

(Younger Brother)

(Older Brother)

I am ready to turn around (repent).

I’m willing to accept consequences I feel accepted and am forgiven by the primary One I offended. o I am humble and apologetic. o I am being provided and cared for in spite of what I’ve done.

o o

I’m being celebrated for repenting!

o

o o o

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o o o

I don’t need saving.

I am angry about the path of repentance.

I refuse to draw near.

I cling to the rules/law.

I am good enough to figure this out on my own. (self-righteous performance) This isn’t fair. They owe me.

WEEK THREE

Large Group Teaching Notes

Our gratitude is contingent on the ________________ of the gift we received.

How much gratitude would you have for the One who saved your soul?

GODLY REPENTANCE VERTICAL My sin is first and foremost against God. (Psalm 51:4) FOCUSED ON GOD & OTHERS Looking for my sin and their pain SPIRITUAL My heart is humble and softened. (contrite; Psalm 51:17) WILLING … to do whatever is asked of me. (Is. 6:8) ACTIVE Seeks obedience HOPEFUL Looking forward to the future of God’s beautiful, coming gift.

GRATEFUL Oriented toward the good change in my heart.

PERSEVERING Seeks a path away from sin.

HUMBLE Unworthy of God’s gift; accepts consequences.

WORLDLY SORROW (false repentance) HORIZONTAL Oriented toward circumstances (what’s going on around me) FOCUSED ON SELF Looking at my pain and their sin (self-pity) EMOTIONAL Fickle and reactionary; ever-changing DEMANDING I will do this, but not that.

PASSIVE Wants an easy solution HOPELESS Looking backward; perhaps reminiscing over the feelings of the sin.

BEGRUDGING Bitterly holding onto expectations of me being exalted.

TEMPORARY No real heart change; will ultimately return.

PRIDEFUL Angry and avoids responsibility or consequences.

We _________ against temptation in repentance.

I’ve got this! It’s not out of control. It’s not as bad as others think, as it used to be. It’s in my past.

God has not provided you as the escape. God has provided ________________ .

GAMES WE PLAY WHEN FACED WITH SIN: 1. We _____________ the sorrow.

2. We _____________ it up.

3. We run to _____________ .

4. We make _____________ .

How will you respond to your sin and God’s grace?

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Large Group Teaching Notes

Biblical Truth from Week 3 of Thrive: Through the Holy Spirit’s illumination of our desperate and helpless condition before God and from the hope that comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ, we step out in faith and repent as an act of worship and obedience, surrendering our will and entrusting our lives to Christ’s care and control. We are reborn spiritually and rescued from the domain of darkness and brought into the kingdom of light, where we now live as a part of Christ’s ever-advancing kingdom..

ROMANS 6:12-13

Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.

ROMANS 8:5-6, 8

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. … Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. Jesus can interrupt your insanity at any moment!

1 CORINTHIANS 10:13-14

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.

Repentance starts with understanding that God _______________ and I don’t, that God is ________________ and I am finite.

PROVERBS 1:7

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

EVIDENCE OF FAITH Saving faith in Jesus comes from surrendering and turning around.

There is eventually visible evidence (fruit), but these heart motivations (roots) are where the beliefs originate.

Remember the connection that the fruit of our lives has with the root of our motivations …

ROOT-FRUIT CONNECTION:

Blanks: costly; great; intervene; purified; sin; repent; change; greatness; war; Himself; avoid; cover; penance; excuses; knows; infinite WEEK THREE

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Small Group Notes:

Prayer Requests:

Mentor Meeting Your next Mentor meeting will cover contents from the Day 7 homework a few pages back, as well as anything from today’s lesson and group conversation.

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WE E K FOUR

The Result: Justification, Adoption, and Sanctification

Day One GOS PE L TRUTH S READ ROMANS 8

1.

What is true about those who are in Christ (v. 1)? Why (v. 2)? How (v. 3)?

For what purpose (v. 4)?

2.

How is this evident in the lives of those in Christ (v. 4)?

GAL ATIANS 5:22–23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

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3.

Where do those in Christ set their minds? What does this lead to (vv. 5–6)?

POINT OF INTEREST: Being conformed to the image of Christ (v. 29) is a process called sanctification. Sanctification has two parts — (mortification) putting to death those things that rob us of our affections for Christ and hinder our reflection of Him (v. 14), and (vivification) filling ourselves with those things that stir our affections for Christ and enable us to reflect Him (vv. 5–6).

4.

How do we know if we belong to God (v. 9)?

5.

What is the result of this (v. 11)?

6.

If you live by the Spirit, what will you do and what will be the result (v. 13)?

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GAL ATIANS 5:19-21

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 7.

What does Romans 8:14 reveal about our identity?

POINT OF INTEREST: Adoption is an act of God, bringing us into His family.

His relationship to us is now one of a loving father.

8.

How is this adoption confirmed by the Spirit (v. 16)?

9.

If we are children of God, what is also true about us (v. 17)?

10.

What future glory do we await in our present suffering? How does this present suffering compare to our future glory (vv. 18–19)?

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POINT OF INTEREST: Verse 23 says part of this future glory is the redemption of our bodies, which means resurrection from the dead and the transformation of those alive in Christ in glorious bodies, reigning and living with Him forever, serving Him and giving Him unending praise and glory.

Reference 1 Corinthians 15.

11.

What help do we have in our suffering (v. 26)?

12.

What is true about those who love God and are called according to His purposes (v. 28)? Does this include suffering? What is the “good” God is doing in verse 29?

13.

What sort of “things” are we promised victory over (vv. 35–37)?

14.

What can separate us from the love of Christ (vv. 38–39)?

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Day Two THE NEW HE AV E N A ND THE NEW E A R TH READ REVELATION 21–22

CHAPTER 21

1.

What does John (the author) see in verses 1–2?

2.

What declaration is made in verse 3?

3.

What will God do in verse 4?

4.

What does the person sitting on the throne say in verse 5?

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5.

What promises does He give in verses 6–7?

6.

Who or what is present or absent in the new heavens and new earth?

7.

What warning is given to those who reject the gift of life and cling to their former identities (v. 8)?

8.

Summarize the description of the new Jerusalem (21:9–22:5)? What makes her radiant (v. 11)?

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1 PETER 3:8

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

READ 1 PETER 1:3–9

9.

According to verse 3, to what have we been born again? Through what?

10.

Describe the inheritance mentioned in verse 4. What do these words mean? Through whom is the inheritance kept?

11.

What allows us to rejoice during trials?

12.

What is the evidence that these are yours by faith?

POINT OF INTEREST: After reminding and rooting his audience in the truths of the gospel, Peter calls them to action (v. 13) as obedient children (v. 14) in the pursuit of holiness (v. 15). Now that we are rooted in gospel truths, we will focus on incorporating gospel pursuits.

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Day Three THE WA R WITHIN READ ROMANS 7:4–25

1.

What have we died to and been released from?

2.

How do we now serve (v. 6)?

3.

What results from living under the law as a sinner (v. 11)?

4.

Is the law the problem (vv. 12-14)? If not, what is?

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5.

How does Paul describe the battle within him (v. 15)?

6.

What does Paul know about himself (v. 18)?

7.

How does Paul separate the essence of who he is and the sin in him (v. 20)?

What then should he war against? What is his reality (v. 21)?

8.

What two things are operating in him at the same time (vv. 22–23)?

9.

What conclusion does Paul come to (v. 24)? What is his answer to the question (v. 25)?

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Day Four A NEW HE A R T READ MATTHEW 15:1–20

1.

The scribes and Pharisees established man made rules and said it was sin if people did not uphold them. What tradition do they condemn Jesus and His disciples for failing to follow in verse 2?

2.

How does Jesus point out the hypocrisy of the scribes and the Pharisees (vv. 3–6)? What have they elevated above the command of God?

3.

How does Isaiah define a hypocrite (vv. 8–9)?

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4.

Is Jesus teaching that the problem is internal or external (v. 10)?

5.

Who does this offend (v. 12)? Why do you think this is offensive to them?

6.

What does Jesus suggest about this group of people (vv. 13–14)?

7.

What defiles a person? Where does this come from (v. 18)?

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EZEKIEL 36:25 –27

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you.

And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.

8.

What is the bad fruit which proceeds from our hearts (v. 19)?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING PSALM

PSALM 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

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Day Five THE NEW LIFE READ EPHESIANS 4:17–5:2

1.

What does Paul instruct in verse 17? Why (vv. 17–21)?

2.

What does this text suggest we “put off” and “put on” (vv. 22–24)?

How is each described?

ROMANS 6:19

I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification.

3.

According to verse 25, what should we put away? What should we do instead?

POINT OF INTEREST: Regeneration, according to Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology, is “an act of God in which he implants new spiritual life to us.”

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4.

Verse 31 tells us to put away all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander and malice. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal those whom you may be angry or bitter toward. Briefly state why.

5.

How does verse 26 say we should handle anger? Why (v. 27)?

6.

If we have been given a new life it means we have been given a new nature that should radically change how we live. What example does verse 28 give?

ROMANS 6:1-2

What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?

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7.

What is God’s remedy for our anger and bitterness toward others (vv. 31–32)?

8.

How does this allow us to live as Ephesians 5:1–2 describes?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

ROMANS 8:13

For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

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Day Six J US TIFIE D BY FA ITH ! PE R FEC TE D BY L AW ?

POINT OF INTEREST: Justification, according to Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology, is “an instantaneous legal act of God in which he thinks of our sins as forgiven and Christ’s righteousness as belonging to us, and declares us to be righteous in his sight.”

READ GALATIANS 2:15 –3:3

1.

In verse 16, Paul assures his audience that “no one” will be justified “by the works of the law.” What do you think it means to try to be justified by the works of the law?

2.

How can we have right standing with God (v. 16)?

3.

What is Paul dead to, according to verse 19? What is he free to do?

ROMANS 7:4

Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God WEEK FOUR

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4.

In verse 20, Paul explains how he found that freedom. How did this affect the way he lived?

MARK 8:35

For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.

5.

What does justification through the law do (v. 21)?

6.

Why does Paul rebuke the church in Galatia in chapter 3:1–3?

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7.

What does he remind them?

8.

How does Paul suggest we will be “perfected” (sanctified and glorified) (v. 3)?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

PHILIPPIANS 2:13

For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

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Day Seven ME NTOR S HIP D I SCUS S ION PR E P 1.

How do you tend to view suffering in your life? How might the precious truths of Romans 8 shape your views? How might God redeem your specific suffering for His glory and your good?

2.

Paul rebuked the church in Galatia for trying to perfect themselves through human effort alone (works). How have you tried to overcome sin by trying harder instead of seeking God and trusting the Spirit’s work in you (grace)? How specifically does this look in your life?

3.

Where have you excused or placed blame for your ungodly thoughts, behaviors and emotions (examples: family upbringing, suffering and loss, a diagnosis, “the devil made me do it”, blaming others)?

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4.

If God’s good goal for our lives is to conform us to the image of His Son, is this now your goal? How will you work towards this goal?

5.

What reservations do you have about examining your own heart?

PSALM 139:23–24 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!

6.

What “grievous ways” has God revealed to you (ways your sin has grieved the heart of God)?

7.

Instead of presenting your members for unrighteousness (Romans 6:13), how might you use the same effort, enthusiasm and creativity in presenting yourself to God as an instrument of righteousness?

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8.

What evidences of the Spirit of God do you see working in you?

9.

A changed heart means we move from an attitude of begrudging submission to an honest desire to engage the war going on in our hearts.

Where are you as you head into assessments?

10.

In your own words, what do each of these gospel truths mean for you personally?

ADOPTION JUSTIFICATION HEIR SANCTIFICATION

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11.

Describe what you envision in the new heavens and new earth? What is present or absent there that your heart longs for?

12.

What are your thoughts, concerns, and fears about completing your assessments?

If not ready, why?

What time will you set aside to do them? When will you meet with your Mentor to go over them (this may take longer than your previous meetings)?

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BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 4: As children of God, armed with the Holy Spirit and standing firm in the gospel, we engage in the spiritual battle over the reign and rule of our hearts. God set us apart for holiness, and we look to put to death the areas of our lives that keep us from reflecting Jesus Christ to a dark and dying world. We first examine the fruit in our lives (or moral symptoms). As we move through the assessment process, we will uncover the roots (pride and idolatry) of any ungodly fruit that drive our ungodly thoughts, actions and emotions.

13.

Going into assessments, what prayer would you like to offer to God?

14.

(Optional) Biblical lament includes getting honest with God about our suffering while being reminded of His presence, truth and promises. What difficulty do you need to get honest about? In your free time, write a psalm to God. Be sure to include truths that speak to your difficulty.

Note: See Appendix G for a worksheet on writing your own psalm of lament.

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSES AS YOU FILL OUT YOUR ASSESSMENTS:

1 CORINTHIANS 15:3–4

For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

The Result: Justification, Adoption, and Sanctification Creation > The Fall/Sin > Redemption > Repentance > Tonight: What is Salvation?

What makes you a member of the kingdom of God is not the right things you do but the ________________ you receive.

ROMANS 8:29-30

For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

REBIRTH OR REGENERATION: The Spirit’s work of making us ____________ .

CONVERSION: The act of the regenerated person to ________________ , to ________________, to ________________ , to place ________________ in the work and the power of God. JUSTIFICATION: Declaring ________________ .

ADOPTION: God declares us to be ________________ and ________________ .

SANCTIFICATION: The Holy Spirit is empowering us, but we are ________________ in God’s work to mature and to grow and to sanctify us.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

PASSIVE HEART:  The things on the outside of me are causing me to have joy (or not have joy).  I’m dependent upon circumstances.  Everything around me must change for my happiness.  I’m the victim; The Devil made me do it.  If I hadn’t been a part of this family …  If that person hadn’t done those actions …

MARK 7:15

There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.

ACTIVE HEART:  It’s what comes out of your heart that causes your sins and your actions.  It’s your ________________ that must be affected and changed for your joy.

It’s your heart that must ________________ to fight those sin issues.

The Spirit of God is regenerating, is repairing, is fixing the ________________ of our hearts.

GLORIFICATION: We are already forgiven and already accepted and already declared innocent. There is this ______________ ______________ of that fully being realized.

Illustration adapted from John Henderson Equipped to Counsel (Association of Biblical Counselors, 2006).

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Large Group Teaching Notes

Truth from Week 4: As children of God armed with the Holy Spirit and standing firm in the gospel, we engage in the spiritual battle over the reign and rule of our hearts. God sets us apart for holiness, and we look to put to death the areas of our lives that keep us from reflecting Jesus Christ to a dark and dying world. We first examine the fruit in our lives (or moral symptoms). As we move through the assessment process, we will uncover the roots of any ungodly fruit (pride and idolatry) that drive our ungodly thoughts, actions, and emotions.

Truth as we go into Week 5 (The Invitation): Under the covering of God’s grace, we step out in faith, leaving behind our old, self-protective ways of covering sin and hiding from God. We prayerfully come into the light, confessing our sins before God and to one another so that we may be healed.

We have to know that under the covering of His grace, we can pursue honesty and transparency and openness about the ways we’ve ________________ against God and others.

ROMANS 8:1-2

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.

ROMANS 8:14-17

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father! The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.   

Those that are reborn into the kingdom of God cannot be ________________ .

This process of sanctification can be ________________ .

Sanctification is not all ___________ .

What He’s providing in His spirit is exactly what we ________________ to navigate this sanctification process.

Blanks: acceptance; new; believe; trust; repent; faith; innocence; sons; daughters; participating; heart; change; brokenness; future hope; sinned; unborn; painful; you; need WEEK FOUR

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Small Group Notes:

Prayer Requests:

Mentor Meeting Your next Mentor meeting will cover contents from the Day 7 homework a few pages back, as well as anything from today’s lesson and group conversation.

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WE E K FIV E

Assessment Prep

Preparing for Assessments This week gives some important margin prior to beginning assessments.

WEEK 5: ASSESSMENT PREP During this phase, you will work through the Assessment Prep section and share your responses with your Mentor.

For the first four weeks of Thrive, your daily work has focused on Bible study, reflection, and application as you prepared for mentor conversations. As we move into the assessment process, that daily rhythm will continue, but the layout will look different. You will still be spending time in God’s Word, but now the homework is designed to help you process your heart, your story, and the patterns God may be bringing into the light.

Over these past weeks, we have been learning who God really is, who we are before Him, and how deeply He loves us in Christ. Now, with that clearer gospel lens, we are preparing to look back at parts of our stories—including difficult memories—not alone, and not without hope, but with growing confidence that God was present, that He sees, and that His love has not changed.

Our hope is that this process will help us bring our hearts into greater alignment with God’s heart. As we see what is true, confess sin, receive grace, grieve what is broken, and respond in repentance and faith, God continues His work of making us holy. This is not merely about identifying what is wrong; it is about learning to walk with Him in truth, freedom, and newness of life.

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Day One THE AC TIV E & PA S S IV E HE A R T MATTHEW 15:18-19

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.

The heart is the wellspring of our lives (Prov. 4:23). From it comes ungodly thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Although we can be influenced by our environment (nurture) or our biology (nature), we are ultimately responsible for the fruit that emanates from our hearts. To deny responsibility is to live with a passive heart.

In order to grow spiritually, we must take responsibility for what flows from our hearts. Before entering assessments, the concept of the active heart is important to understand.

For example, Eve was influenced by the serpent (the fertile ground of her sin), but she was still responsible for eating the fruit. Adam was influenced by the voice of his wife (Genesis 3:17), but he was still responsible for what came out of his heart (eating the fruit).

The context or fertile ground often makes our sin understandable, but it does not justify it or make it right. These influences can be biological, relational, cultural or spiritual. God has compassion for us amidst the ungodly influences in our lives, while at the same time speaking truth to what is coming out of our hearts (with comfort and even correction when out of step with His heart). By God’s grace and in His timing, we will overcome all the influences in Christ. We will bring Him glory through lives changed by the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Living with a passive heart will keep us stuck because we believe we can’t live fruitful lives unless others and our circumstances change. The Bible teaches us that we can have the fruit of joy (Gal. 5:22) and contentment (Phil. 4:12) even in difficulty through our relationship with Him.

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ARE THESE ACTIVE OR PASSIVE HEART STATEMENTS? Circle the one that applies:

ACTIVE

PASSIVE

You make me so angry (feel so guilty, etc.)!

ACTIVE

PASSIVE

You gave me fertile ground to get angry, but the anger came from my heart.

ACTIVE

PASSIVE

The devil made me do it!

ACTIVE

PASSIVE

The serpent deceived me, and I ate. (Genesis 3:13)

ACTIVE

PASSIVE

The woman whom you gave to me, she gave me the fruit and I ate. (Genesis 3:12)

ACTIVE

PASSIVE

I am grumpy or difficult because I am hungry (hangry) or tired.

ACTIVE

PASSIVE

I drink because I am anxious. I sin because I am bipolar.

ACTIVE

PASSIVE

My anxiety is fertile ground for my choosing to drink.

ACTIVE

PASSIVE

My current sinful patterns are because of what I experienced as a child.

Assessments will help us to see what our responsibility is and what it is not. The enemy is a master of confusing responsibility. Again, we are not responsible for these influences (our lot in life). We are, however, responsible for how we respond to them.

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One way we can tell whether we are living passive heartedly is to evaluate what we are focused on changing. Would you say you have been primarily concerned with changing others and your circumstances or being changed by the gospel?

Try listing some things you would like to change in the space below.

In what ways can you see yourself living with a passive heart?

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Day Two GOS PE L TRUTH S READ EPHESIANS CHAPTERS 1-3 AND NOTE GOSPEL TRUTHS.

Ephesians 1: If you are human, there are likely times you are tempted with self-pity or “poor me.” What is the story you tell yourself and others about your life?

Does it result in self-pity or does it lead you to seek and rely on Him?

When we are stuck in self-pity, what are we not considering?

How might these truths influence how you tell your story?

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Through the assessment process we will learn to apply the richness that the gospel offers!

Ephesians 2: Verses 1-10 describe the testimony of every believer. What worldly direction were you following before being made alive in Christ? What were your flesh patterns?

What changed according to this verse?

How?

For what purpose?

Ephesians 3: This is the only message worth living for, and the only message that will bring true peace to the world. The message acknowledges our sinfulness and His redemptive love.

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Day Three THR E E CIRCLE S : WHO ' S ON THE THRONE ?

At any time we are living out of one of these circles.

1

The first circle represents us in our lostness. We don’t know God; born into sin we sit on the throne of our own lives seeking the world to satisfy our desires. We live by a self-centered fear to meet our own needs. We attempt to control others, outcomes, and circumstances. This leads to chaos and a lack of fruitfulness.

GALATIANS 5:19 –21

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these.

I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

2

The second circle represents a Christian that is walking by the flesh.

There is some circumstance that has presented itself in which we distrust God and attempt to take back control. This again leads to chaos and a lack of fruitfulness.

GALATIANS 5:16 –18

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

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3

The third circle represents a life of faith surrendered to God. We trust in the goodness and plan of God for our lives. We trust He is in control, so we don’t have to be. This leads to faithfulness.

GALATIANS 5:22–23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

What contrast do you notice between the works of the flesh and the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:16–23?

Think of a current circumstance where you feel pressure, fear, frustration, or a desire for control. How are you tempted to respond in the flesh?

As you consider these three circles, what would it look like to trust Christ and walk by the Spirit where you see patterns of flesh, control, fear, or self-rule in your life?

Ask the Lord to show you one area He is inviting you to fully surrender to Him.

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Day Four R E THINK ING YOUR S TORY In John 5:2-9, we learn the story of a man who encounters healing in Jesus.

What is his story? Where has he been seeking healing?

What have you been pursuing, thinking everything might be okay if only you achieved it?

After spending the past few weeks reflecting on who God says He is, what have you believed wrongly about God that has shaped your story and harmed the way you see yourself and Him? What truth about God and your identity in Christ now defines your life?

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Day Five BA L A NCING YOUR A S S E S S ME NT If we understand the nature of our hearts apart from Christ, we should not be surprised how dark they can be. It is like looking into the bottom of a dark well.

We will have to look up for light.

ROMANS 7:18

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.

We do not balance our assessments in the traditional sense of listing our good moral behavior against our bad, but we do want to balance our assessments with gospel truths as we engage the battle.

We are in a battle. Hiding in the darkness is the enemy’s domain. It’s time to bring sin into the light for healing.

1 JOHN 1:5 –7

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

Read 1 John 1:6-10 and complete the following table:

1 John 1 Table VERSE

WHAT WE SAY

WHAT WE DO

REALIT Y/ TRUTH

6

WE HAVE FELLOWSHIP WITH HIM

WALK IN DARKNESS

WE LIE AND DO NOT PRACTICE THE TRUTH

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What are the benefits of living in the light?

What can we conclude about living in darkness?

STEP 5 BIBLICAL TRUTH Under the covering of God’s grace, we step out in faith, leaving behind our old, self-protective ways of covering sin and hiding from God. We prayerfully come into the light, confessing our sins before God and to one another so that we may be healed.

You will have to be careful in not getting derailed in sharing assessments with your Mentor. It is easy to get bogged down. After sharing, pray the prayer that correlates to that assessment item and move on.

COME TO THE LIGHT EXPECTANTLY How free do you want to be? Honesty and thoroughness are key to assessments.

You must be honest with yourself and God if you have any hope of being honest with others. This is no time for denial or a superficial glancing over.

As we pursue holiness, we must do so from a firm foundation of who we are in Christ and all that He has done and promised. We must remember what is of first importance.

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Day Six THE PAT TE R N FOR COMPLE TING A N A S S E S S ME NT ASSESSMENT IS

ASSESSMENT IS NOT

Learning to examine our hearts, guided by the Holy Spirit

An attempt to document every sin

Understanding our problems biblically

Treating gospel truth as instant closure

A snapshot of an event

A definition of who I am

Your goal is not to write a perfect assessment of everything that has ever happened to you, but to discover dysfunctional (sinful) patterns of relating to God, self and others. We want to be free of the things that rob us of our affections for Christ and hinder our ability to live for His kingdom purposes. Through this process we want you to learn how to examine your heart. You can always add to your assessment later.

It is important that we root ourselves in the gospel as we examine the darkness of our hearts. We begin by standing in the truths of the gospel — what Christ has accomplished, what He is accomplishing and what He promises to accomplish. We ask the Holy Spirit to reveal those areas that hinder us from properly relating to God and others as ambassadors in a lost and dying world. We spend time writing what He reveals in our assessment. We must continually remember the gospel, believe the gospel and stand in the gospel so that the enemy does not cause us to stumble.

As we examine the truths about our hearts, why is it important to remember and believe the gospel?

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TIMELINE FOR COMPLETING THE ASSESSMENTS We have broken the assessments down over a three week period. The first time you work through the process you may find it overwhelming, but focus on the major convictions that hinder your love for God and others.

Below is the suggested order to follow when completing your assessments. It is recommended that you not only set aside time to complete the assessment forms, but schedule two-to-three hour blocks each week with your mentor to share your assessments.

WEEK SIX

Trauma and Suffering Assessment Form Anger and Resentments Assessment Form After you complete these assessments, meet with your Mentor and share/pray through them.

WEEK SEVEN

Sexual Immorality Assessment Form Guilt and Shame Assessment Form After you complete these assessments, meet with your Mentor and share/pray through them.

WEEK EIGHT

Fear Assessment Form Grief Assessment Form After you complete these assessments, meet with your Mentor and share/pray through them.

MAKE COPIES You may need additional copies of the assessment sheets beyond what we provide.

It would be wise to go ahead and make additional copies if you think you might need them.

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SET ASIDE AND GUARD THE TIME Use the chart below to schedule times to complete each assessment.

PREPARE

SHARE

TRAUMA AND SUFFERING

ANGER AND RESENTMENTS

SEXUAL IMMORALIT Y

GUILT AND SHAME

Week 8

Week 7

Week 6

ASSESSMENTS

FEAR

GRIEF AND LOSS

Prepare Since you will be completing 2 assessment topics per week, you must be diligent to set apart time with the Lord to pray and write. The enemy will try to steal the time, so you must guard it.

Share Set aside time to share your assessments with your Mentor. Schedule 2-3 hours each week to cover 2 assessment topics per meeting.

CREATE A FRUITFUL ENVIRONMENT

How you work best You may prefer to write in a separate notebook, on your computer or on the sheets provided.

Where you work best You may prefer to do the work early in the morning or late at night. You may prefer to work outside, in your yard, in a coffee shop or at your kitchen table.

Create an environment conducive to meeting with the Lord.

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UTILIZING YOUR MENTOR AND COMMUNITY Your Mentor is your primary support through the assessment process. Let your Mentor know when you are doing your assessment so they can be in prayer for you. Call them if you have any questions or difficulties.

Feel free to invite your community, group leaders, family members and friends to pray for you during this season. It is helpful and encouraging to your heart to remember you are not alone. Inviting others into this battle for your healing is such a blessing to extend to them.

Use the space below to write out the names of those you will invite to pray for you during this season.

Day Seven SA B BATH (R E S T ) A ND PR AY E R READ PSALM 25 Take this day to practice what you've explored this week in terms of allowing God to take His rightful place on the throne of your heart. You might spend the day in prayer, not only sharing your heart with God but also remaining still and quiet, allowing your ears to hear Him speak to you. However you spend the day, make it one that honors God as you prepare to do an inventory of the things that you have been through.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

When We Suffer In light of Christ’s accomplished work on the cross, and our need to turn toward Him in godly repentance, how should we view suffering?

SUFFERING – PAIN AND HARDSHIP WE FACE IN A FALLEN WORLD  

All suffering is a result of sin.

However, not all suffering is sinful. (Not all responses to suffering are sinful.)

Something all Christians have in common: We are ____________ , _____________ , and __________ .

WHO SUFFERS AND WHERE DOES IT COME FROM? ________ people suffer because we live in a fallen world.  

Natural disasters; floods, famines, earthquakes, tornadoes, etc.

Disease and sickness; viruses, cancer, ultimate physical death

__________ people’s sin can cause us to suffer unjustly.   

Drunkenness, sexual promiscuity Lies and deception Selfishness, greed, etc.

________ _________ sin can cause us to suffer justly.  

Our foolishness Lusts of many kinds …

Addictions, fallen hearts, excesses in spending, hobbies, eating, distractions and hobbies, celebrity-chasing, poor health habits, screen time, etc.



Ignoring instruction, relying on self or false gods, and going to creation rather than the Creator (Romans 1:21-25) We all suffer. We don’t all suffer well.

My _____________ to suffering will _____________ where my confidence and hope is.

Some of our suffering has been made worse by our reaction to sin and suffering.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

EXAGGERATED RESULTS OF SUFFERING: o Self-victimization – a new and false sense of identity  “What people have done to me determines who I am.”  “I am irreversibly stained, broken, abandoned, made useless.” o

Myopia – unable to see any good come (Jeremiah 17:6)  “All is suffering”  “I can’t be rescued/forgiven/made new/redeemed”

o

Disbelief –  “Suffering doesn’t fit in a world created by a good God, therefore, God is not good”  or “God doesn’t exist.”  or “I am my own God.” “I can manufacture my own universe.”

o

Hardness of Heart - characterized by broken or paralyzed emotions, bitterness, etc.

o

Isolation – pulling back from God and/or others. Enhanced further by …  Shame  Guilt  False Guilt (“I didn’t do anything wrong but I feel like I did.”)

WHAT IS SIN? SIN – MISSING THE MARK OF PERFECTION Sin is a disease and affliction that keeps devouring. It is never satisfied.

It always wants more, costs more, and is both enslaving and deceiving.  It blinds us to God and turns our focus inward.  From birth, we are caught in its grip.  At its core, sin is relying on our own desires, needs, goals, and dreams instead of trusting God. 

Sin always _______________ suffering.

Ex: yelling at our friends, ignoring God, insisting on our rights, avoiding help, etc.

Sinners often respond by _____________ (shifting blame to others) or _____________ themselves as though the wound is something they can cure on their own.

(Ex: Adam and Eve)  The reality is, we can’t clean the stain.

Jesus came to rescue sinners, heal sufferers, and call them to be saints.

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Large Group Teaching Notes



God doesn’t leave sinners to rescue themselves—He steps in. He offers us someone to turn to. He intervenes with mercy, not demands. Instead of asking the fallen to redeem themselves, He offers restoration, cleansing, covering, and a new heart.

IN CHRIST, WE ARE MADE SAINTS SAINT – CHOSEN, LOVED AND ADOPTED INTO THE FAMILY OF GOD BY THE SAVIOR OF THE WORLD. Saints are no longer spiritually lost or empty. They’ve been made new and restored to right standing with God – still living in a broken world, but now sustained by His Spirit.  Saints are also now able to truly share this good news with others. 

BECAUSE OF JESUS WE ARE: Saved by grace (Ephesians 2:8-9; Philippians 2:5-8; 2 Corinthians 5:21) Healed (1 Peter 2:25; Luke 24:26, 46; Isaiah 53:3-5; Matthew 9:12, 35-36) Going to one day escape suffering forever (Revelation 22:1-6) Ambassadors and witnesses to Christ’s healing and salvation (2 Corinthians 5:17-19; Acts 1:8)  Commanded to warn others of the dangers of sin (Galatians 6:1-2)  Called to use our suffering to minister to sufferers (2 Corinthians 1:3-8; James 1:2-3; 1 Peter 2:21)  Are now dead to sin – able to resist, and able to respond differently (Romans 6:6-8; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Galatians 2:20)    

1 PETER 2:24

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

I have a powerful Rescuer who is greater than all creation, so I can seek healing in Him.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

A WONDERFUL OFFER: Jesus meets you right where you are – not when you’ve cleaned yourself up, but in your darkest moment. He lived the life you couldn’t live, died the death your sin deserved, and rose again to bring you into right relationship with God. In Him, you’re not just forgiven, you’re made new. He offers you a new heart, His identity, and the grace to walk with Him daily.

For those who have accepted this offer: How can you celebrate your sainthood?  For those who haven’t understood or have rejected this offer: Will you accept Jesus now? 

POTENTIAL RESPONSES TO THE “HEAT” LIFE BRINGS: Sinner PROUD

HUMBLE

 Blame shifts

(Gen. 3:12-13)  Denies sin (Adam, Eve)  Ignores / is licentious  Sees the sin of others more than own  Says, “I would never sin that way”  Self-atones  Controls or manipulates  “I can’t forgive myself” or “I can’t/won’t forgive you”

Admit  Confess & Repent

(1 Jn. 1:9)  Seek Atonement at the Cross

Sufferer

Saint

 Denies suffering “I’m fine”

 Exaggerates suffering  “No one knows the

trouble I’ve seen” (my suffering is worse than others’ pain.)  Compares  Despairs

 “I don’t understand

everything, but I trust God’s character.”  “This pain is real, and I need God’s help.”  “I’m learning to depend on God more deeply through this.”

 Sinner, saved by Grace (Eph. 2:8-9)

 Dead to sin (Rom. 6)  Hate sin (1 Cor. 15:9)  Compassionate – tender toward sinners

 Warn of the dangers (Gal. 6:1-2)

Testifies to what Jesus did for them

JESUS

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Became sin (2 Cor. 5:21)

Is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18)

WEEK FIVE

Continues to give grace to the humble.

(James 4:6)

Large Group Teaching Notes

Truth from Week 5: Under the covering of God’s grace, we step out in faith, leaving behind our old, self-protective ways of covering sin and hiding from God. We prayerfully come into the light, confessing our sins before God and to one another so that we may be healed.

WEEK FIVE

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Large Group Teaching Notes

A REFLECTION FOR THE SUFFERER PSALM 25

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me.

Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.

For your name’s sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great.

Who is the man who fears the Lord?

Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose.

His soul shall abide in well-being, and his offspring shall inherit the land.

Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths.

The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant.

Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.

My eyes are ever toward the Lord, for he will pluck my feet out of the net.

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.

Remember your mercy, O Lord, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old.

Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!

Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way.

He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way.

All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.

The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses.

Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.

Consider how many are my foes, and with what violent hatred they hate me.

Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me!

Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.

May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.

Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles.

Blanks: sinners, sufferers, saints; All; Other; Our own; response; reveal; intensifies; hiding; fixing 1 76

WEEK FIVE

Small Group Notes:

Prayer Requests:

WEEK FIVE

177

WE E K S IX

Trauma and Suffering Anger and Resentments

MICAH7:8

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.

180

WEEK SIX

Trauma and Suffering Assessment Trauma, abuse, neglect, and abandonment often provide the “fertile ground” for our dysfunctional patterns of relating to God, self, and others.

Suffering with chronic health conditions, diagnoses, enduring impacts of bodily abnormalities, and physical consequences/damage due to an accident are also opportunities that can lead to seeing God and our relationships differently. These variations of suffering should also be considered as you approach the following Scriptures and assessment.

Trauma, according to the American Psychological Association, is an emotional response to a terrible event that hinders a person’s ability to move forward in a healthy way. Trauma can happen through a single event or through sustained exposure overtime.

Abuse can be understood as the misuse of anything. God created all things for His glory, and misuse of His creation is a type of abuse and ultimately sinful. All sin is abusive, and sin against others is undeserved. There is, however, a type of abuse that moves beyond what might be considered normative in the Christian life.

This type of abuse often includes intent to harm and can characterize a relationship of oppression. This type of abuse is particularly horrific and, in keeping with God’s heart for the oppressed, the church must be a redemptive instrument in intervening and protecting the abused. As with any sin, we cannot overcome its efforts independent of God, but He has provided the way to overcome sin through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Neglect is defined as a failure to care properly for someone. Abandonment can lead to neglect.

GOSPEL TRUTH Before getting started on the assessment, take some time to read the following verses.

In the space below, summarize the truths about suffering and the character and promises of God toward the hurt person.

DEUTERONOMY 26:7

PSALM 12:5

MICAH 7:7-10

PSALM 103:4

PSALM 10:17–18

JOEL 2:25–27

JOHN 10:10

PSALM 71:20–24

PSALM 9:7–10 WEEK SIX

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Trauma and Suffering Assessment Instructions MICAH 7:8

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.

GOSPEL PURSUIT Using “The Pattern for Completing an Assessment,” prayerfully consider the areas you may have been harmed in your life. We are not looking for every hurt, but the areas in which you are still wounded. Pretending not to be hurt is not healing.

THE ASSESSMENT FORM

Source (Who or What)

List the people, institutions, or events that may have caused harm to you.

The Story (What Happened) Explain what happened to you. Be specific. Some may prefer writing narrative while others may prefer bullet points.

Type of Trauma/Suffering/Neglect/Abuse PHYSICAL

ABUSE, ASSAULT, NEGLECT, TRAUMATIC EVENTS, DIAGNOSIS, ILLNESS

SEXUAL

ABUSE, DATE RAPE, RAPE, MOLESTATION, INCEST, HARASSMENT, NEGLECT, GROOMING

EMOTIONAL

ABUSE, SHAMING, EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL, GUILT TRIPS, EMOTIONAL INCEST, NEGLECT

REL ATIONAL

COERCION, INTIMIDATION, OPPRESSION, FALSE WITNESS, ABUSE OF AUTHORITY, SLANDER

VERBAL

SPIRITUAL

THREATENING, BELITTLING, RIDICULING, DEMEANING, NAME-CALLING, FALSE ACCUSATIONS SATANIC RITUAL ABUSE, OCCULT RITUAL ABUSE, CULTS, CHURCH

RESIDUAL EFFECTS

Fruit

Circle if Shame, Resentment, Fear/Anxiety, Guilt, or Grief are currently present in your life.

Add the situation to the corresponding assessment sheets. For example, if you have an uncle listed for physical abuse that has resulted in shame, add it also to your Guilt and Shame assessment on week 7.

Impact How has the situation impacted you?

My Response List ways you have attempted to cope with this.

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TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM The Source Who/What?

The Story

What happened?

The Type of Trauma/Suffering/Neglect/Abuse Circle all that apply.

Physical Spiritual Emotional Verbal

Relational

Sexual

The Fruit

Circle all that apply.

Shame Guilt Grief/Loss Fear/Anxiety

Resentment

Sexual Immorality

The Impact

My Response Attempts to Cope

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183

TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Regarding Guilt: I renounce the lie that I am responsible for someone else’s sin.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Frightened

Inconsiderate

Dishonest

Self-seeking

Other:

Notes:

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WEEK SIX

TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM The Source Who/What?

The Story

What happened?

The Type of Trauma/Suffering/Neglect/Abuse Circle all that apply.

Physical Spiritual Emotional Verbal

Relational

Sexual

The Fruit

Circle all that apply.

Shame Guilt Grief/Loss Fear/Anxiety

Resentment

Sexual Immorality

The Impact

My Response Attempts to Cope

WEEK SIX

185

TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Regarding Guilt: I renounce the lie that I am responsible for someone else’s sin.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Frightened

Inconsiderate

Dishonest

Self-seeking

Other:

Notes:

186

WEEK SIX

TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM The Source Who/What?

The Story

What happened?

The Type of Trauma/Suffering/Neglect/Abuse Circle all that apply.

Physical Spiritual Emotional Verbal

Relational

Sexual

The Fruit

Circle all that apply.

Shame Guilt Grief/Loss Fear/Anxiety

Resentment

Sexual Immorality

The Impact

My Response Attempts to Cope

WEEK SIX

187

TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Regarding Guilt: I renounce the lie that I am responsible for someone else’s sin.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Frightened

Inconsiderate

Dishonest

Self-seeking

Other:

Notes:

188

WEEK SIX

TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM The Source Who/What?

The Story

What happened?

The Type of Trauma/Suffering/Neglect/Abuse Circle all that apply.

Physical Spiritual Emotional Verbal

Relational

Sexual

The Fruit

Circle all that apply.

Shame Guilt Grief/Loss Fear/Anxiety

Resentment

Sexual Immorality

The Impact

My Response Attempts to Cope

WEEK SIX

189

TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Regarding Guilt: I renounce the lie that I am responsible for someone else’s sin.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Frightened

Inconsiderate

Dishonest

Self-seeking

Other:

Notes:

190

WEEK SIX

TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM The Source Who/What?

The Story

What happened?

The Type of Trauma/Suffering/Neglect/Abuse Circle all that apply.

Physical Spiritual Emotional Verbal

Relational

Sexual

The Fruit

Circle all that apply.

Shame Guilt Grief/Loss Fear/Anxiety

Resentment

Sexual Immorality

The Impact

My Response Attempts to Cope

WEEK SIX

191

TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Regarding Guilt: I renounce the lie that I am responsible for someone else’s sin.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Frightened

Inconsiderate

Dishonest

Self-seeking

Other:

Notes:

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WEEK SIX

Prayer for Abuse To b e pra ye d with your mentor Read through, understand, and agree with each prayer prior to praying with your mentor, so you can pray from the heart and not with empty words.

Heavenly Father, I thank You that You are the God who sees. I thank You that when (name the abuser) (name the abuse), You saw. I thank You that when no one else heard my cries, You did. You sent Your Son to this world to rescue me and give me life. Jesus, You know well my pain, as You Yourself suffered much at the hands of sinners. I pray that You might teach me through your Spirit to love as You love. Thank You for rescuing me from the dominion of darkness, bringing me with You into eternity.

I thank You that we are no longer victims, but more than conquerors through the cross. In Christ, I am redeemed. I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, that you would heal any emotional, spiritual, mental, relational, or physical damage done as a result of this abuse in my life as well as any others affected, for Your glory and Your name’s sake. Help me not to focus on how I have been treated by people but on the riches of your grace toward me. Show me how to be an instrument of your redeeming love in this situation. (Pray for this person.)

In Jesus’ name, amen.

MICAH 7:8

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.

WEEK SIX

193

ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER

Ask Him to help you focus on the Acknowledge that God sees, knows, and

riches you have been given eternally

cares about your specific situation.

rather than those that have been taken in this life.

Thank Him that He provides a way out.

Pray for wisdom in being an instrument of His redeeming love in this situation.

Acknowledge that Christ understands, as He Himself suffered and ask the Spirit

Pray for the person.

to teach you to love as He loves.

Thank Him that we are no longer

Acknowledge we are more than

enslaved to the darkness and that we

conquerors in Christ and, therefore,

will spend eternity with Him.

no longer victims.

Pray for healing.

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WEEK SIX

Prayer for Trauma To b e pra ye d with your Mentor Read through, understand, and agree with each prayer prior to praying with your mentor, so you can pray from the heart and not with empty words.

Heavenly Father, I thank You that You are the God who redeems all things. You truly know my past, my inescapable reality. It wasn’t over, though it seemed all was lost. Memories of the trauma of (name the trauma) haunt me in the still of the night and are often triggered in broad daylight. I attempt to cope by suppressing it all. It left me shellshocked and numb. Trusting often seems so far away but Your love pursues me. We stand here now on the other side together. I have been given new life by the King. Your Son lives, and so do I. The scars I carry are markers of all You have carried me through. At times they are still tender, but You are near and intimately aware. Your voice gently calls me to the deepest part of my heart at the dawning of each new day. You say, “My child, trust me and let go” of unfruitful patterns of coping. You call me away from living a life of avoidance and call me into presence with You and others. The fact that Your Son lives is a demonstration that in You I will overcome all things. My harmless triggers are no longer things to be avoided but opportunities to press in and commune with You. You desire to replace these former associations with redeemed memories of small victories with You. Help me not to follow my own will just because it is familiar. Help me not to return to the empty ways I seek my own comfort. Help me to know, hear and trust Your voice. Thank You that You are rescuing me from it all, freeing me from the power of sin and bringing me healing and freedom in Christ.

Help me...heal me....in Jesus’ name!

MICAH 7:8

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.

WEEK SIX

195

ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER

Thank God for providing redemption of

Name the experience and its effects on

all things in Christ.

your life.

Acknowledge any unfruitful ways of

Affirm what God is calling us away from

coping.

and what He is calling us to.

Affirm that God is bigger than our triggers and can be trusted as we lay down new pathways, replacing their

Ask for help and healing.

former associations with new memories of victories in Him.

196

WEEK SIX

Prayer for Other Forms of Suffering To b e pra ye d with your Mentor Heavenly Father, I thank You that You are the God who draws near to the broken. You are not distant from my pain — You see it, You know it, and You care deeply. In this season of suffering — no matter the type — You are not absent. It hurts more than I can describe. I feel weary, disoriented, and tempted to despair. I want relief, and at times I wonder if You see or hear me.

But Your Word tells me that You are the God who suffers with us and for us. Jesus, You entered into our world of sorrow and bore the weight of our grief. You did not turn away from suffering — You embraced it, and in doing so, You redeemed it.

Even when my prayers feel dry and my strength feels gone, You remain steady. You are not waiting for me to get it together — You are holding me even now. In this suffering, You are shaping me, not punishing me. You are refining my faith like gold in the fire. You are near to the crushed in spirit. Help me not to waste this pain. Help me to meet You in it. Show me how to endure with hope, to weep with You, to wait with You. Teach me to trust that resurrection always follows the cross. Though sorrow lasts for a night, joy comes in the morning. I believe — help my unbelief. I long for comfort, but more than that, I long for You. Be my portion, my strength, my peace. Carry me when I cannot walk. Remind me that I am not alone.

Thank You that suffering will not have the last word — You will. And in Christ, so will I. Help me…heal me…in Jesus’ name. Amen.

WEEK SIX

197

ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER

Thank God for providing redemption of

Name the experience and its effects on

all things in Christ.

your life.

Acknowledge any unfruitful ways

Affirm what God is calling us away from

of coping.

and what He is calling us to.

Affirm that He is bigger than our triggers and can be trusted as we lay down new pathways, replacing their

Ask for help and healing.

former associations with new memories of victories in Him.

198

WEEK SIX

A Redemptive View of Suffering Abuse is the misuse of anything. God created all things for His glory, and misuse of His creation is abuse and ultimately sinful. All sin is abuse, and sin against others is undeserved. On our own, we cannot overcome the effects of sin, but He has provided a way to overcome sin and its effects through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

God has the power to redeem all forms of abuse and suffering. In Christ, through the Spirit, we will display His supremacy and victory over evil as we arise over sin, shame, and even death.

WASHING IN THE WORD After praying through the Trauma and Suffering Assessment you can use these truths to be encouraged in the battle.

1 PETER 2:19–25 This scripture explains that Jesus suffered abuse righteously and left us an example of how to respond to abuse.

PSALM 56:1–11 This scripture illustrates God’s heart for the abused. He has not forgotten them — He has heard their cries. The cross of Christ doesn’t just justify sinners — it also vindicates victims.

LIFE-GIVING TRUTHS Jesus suffered abuse. He was neglected, betrayed, humiliated, stripped naked, beaten, and killed. This demonstrates three life-giving truths.

He understands. He deeply understands what you have gone through and what you are feeling because He experienced it. He knows your pain.

The abuse does not define you.

Your abuse does not justify your sin. It may give fertile ground for your sin but your response comes from your heart. Jesus did not respond to His abuse in sin or vengeance; He “[entrusted] himself to him who judges justly.” The more Christ reigns and rules in your heart, the more Christ-like your response will be.

God will vindicate you and bring justice. For all those who do not repent, the wrath of God remains and there will be justice.

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199

HEBREWS 12:15

See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.

200

Anger and Resentments Assessment Anger is an emotional response to a perceived wrong done by another, often accompanied by a demand for justice. While anger can be an appropriate response to sin or injustice, it frequently goes unrecognized because it does not always feel explosive or obvious.

Many people say, “I’m not angry, I’m just frustrated,” Scripture calls us to slow down and search our hearts, because anger often hides beneath more acceptable labels.

When anger is not entrusted to the Lord, it settles into resentment—a root of bitterness that takes hold in the heart. Rather than trusting God with justice, we quietly hold court within ourselves, rehearsing offenses and preserving the case. This bitterness drains spiritual energy, making us unfruitful, and it does not remain private. It shapes how we act toward others—either responding in ways we should not, or withholding love and obedience where we should act.

Often, anger and resentment are rooted in prideful desires that have been blocked.

When something we want—respect, control, comfort, or fairness—is threatened or withheld, the heart reacts. Rather than trusting God, we attempt to regain control through judgment, withdrawal, cynicism, or emotional distance. What begins as irritation goes underground, replayed again and again, and hardens over time. God does not call us merely to manage these feelings, but to bring them into the light, examine their source, and return to trusting Him. GOSPEL TRUTH Before getting started on the assessment, take some time to read the following verses.

In the space below, summarize the character and promises of God toward our anger.

MATTHEW 5:21–22

HEBREWS 12:15

LUKE 6:35–36

JAMES 1:19–20

ROMANS 12:19

PSALM 4:4

JOHN 5:30

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Anger and Resentments Assessment Instructions HEBREWS 12:15

See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.

GOSPEL PURSUIT Using “The Pattern for Completing an Assessment,” prayerfully consider areas of unresolved anger toward yourself, God, or others. We are not looking to record every resentment you have ever had, but those resentments that currently hinder your love of God and others. Denial is not resolution.

It may be helpful to get a piece of paper and brainstorm, asking God to call to mind those people who, if they walked into the room, you might have resentment toward. It may be something someone did or failed to do. It may also be a situation, institution or even an idea you resent.

PEOPLE God/Jesus

Current friends

Clergy/Pastors

Teachers/Counselors/Principals/Coaches

Step Parents/Grandparents

Employers

Step Siblings

Co-workers

Extended family

Creditors

In-laws

Police/Probation/Parole officers

Adopted/Foster family

Judges/Lawyers

Husbands/Wives

Church members

Boyfriends/Girlfriends

Cult members

Babysitters

Gang members

Playmates

Sports team members

Childhood friends

Acquaintances/Neighbors

Family friends

Politicians/Civic leaders

Middle school/High school friends

Counselors/Therapists/Psychiatrists

College classmates (fraternity/sorority)

Doctors/Nurses/Aides

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INSTITUTIONS

THE ASSESSMENT FORM

Religion/Church

WHO OR WHAT

Marriage/Family Recovery programs Treatment centers Judicial/Correctional Government Education Mental Health

List those whom you are resentful toward.

THE STORY (WHAT HAPPENED) Explain why you are resentful and list the specific action done to you. Some will prefer writing narrative while others may prefer bullet points.

Corporations

THE IMPACT

SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES

Describe the impact of this resentment on your life and your relationships (fruitful or unfruitful).

Authority Confession Repentance Heaven/Hell Election Predestination Law Sin Sickness/Death Restitution Divorce/Separation Reconciliation

WHAT PART OF SELF WAS HURT OR THREATENED (or what was I seeking to satisfy) There are four major categories: Social Security Sexual Ambitions You may view these four major categories as a threat at the time the incident occurred or a threat to a future hope (ambitions). In other words, you could be resentful toward someone who intruded in a current, personal relationship or threatened a future hope or ambition for that relationship.

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203

SOCIAL

AMBITIONS

Did this threaten my relationships, specifically in these two areas?

Did this threaten my future hopes and plans?

Self-esteem Did this in some way threaten my sense of worth, value, confidence, identity, etc.? It could be how I see myself or how others see me.

Again, rather than a current threat, ambitions recognize that we often become resentful because our plans for the future (hope) have been interfered with (my ideals socially, materially, emotionally, sexually).

Examples: “I never thought I would be divorced.” “I was hoping to marry her.”

Personal Relationships Did this threaten my sense of belonging or the relationships I value? Did this affect the way I relate to others?

SECURITY Did this threaten or hurt my sense of security in one of two areas?

Materially Did this threaten or hurt me financially or materially?

Emotionally Did this threaten or hurt me emotionally?

SEXUAL Did this threaten or hurt my sexual relations or sexuality?

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ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

What or who are you resentful toward?

The Story What happened? Explain why you are resentful and list the specific action done to you.

The Impact Describe the impact of this resentment on your life and your relationships (fruitful or unfruitful).

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

WEEK SIX

205

ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

206

WEEK SIX

ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

What or who are you resentful toward?

The Story What happened? Explain why you are resentful and list the specific action done to you.

The Impact Describe the impact of this resentment on your life and your relationships (fruitful or unfruitful).

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

WEEK SIX

207

ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

208

WEEK SIX

ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

What or who are you resentful toward?

The Story What happened? Explain why you are resentful and list the specific action done to you.

The Impact Describe the impact of this resentment on your life and your relationships (fruitful or unfruitful).

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

WEEK SIX

209

ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

210

WEEK SIX

ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

What or who are you resentful toward?

The Story What happened? Explain why you are resentful and list the specific action done to you.

The Impact Describe the impact of this resentment on your life and your relationships (fruitful or unfruitful).

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

WEEK SIX

211

ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

212

WEEK SIX

ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

What or who are you resentful toward?

The Story What happened? Explain why you are resentful and list the specific action done to you.

The Impact Describe the impact of this resentment on your life and your relationships (fruitful or unfruitful).

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

WEEK SIX

213

ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

214

WEEK SIX

Prayer for Resentments toward Others To b e pra ye d with your Mentor Heavenly Father, I acknowledge (person’s name) is not exempt from the fall and the effects of sin.

Though I don’t like the symptoms of this spiritual disease or how it has affected me, he/she, like me, is a sinner too. I confess that I have stood in judgment of (person’s name) for (the cause). Forgive me, Father, for allowing bitterness and resentment to reside in my heart, preventing my ability to be an instrument of Your redeeming love. As You, Father, have extended Your grace to me through Jesus Christ, I ask the Holy Spirit to enable me to reflect Christ in this situation. Today I, as an unrighteous judge, turn this offense over to You, my righteous judge and king. I trust in Your will and Your plan and choose to live in the freedom You have promised. How may I be an ambassador of Your love, peace and truth in this situation? I pray in the name of Jesus Christ that You would, for Your name’s sake and glory, heal any damage done as a result of this offense in my life, as well as any others who may have been affected. (Finish prayer by praying for this person according to their needs.)

In Jesus’ name, amen.

ROMANS 12:21

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

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215

ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER

Humble yourself as a fellow sinner

Confess specific resentment

Ask for forgiveness for harboring

Ask the Holy Spirit for help in being

bitterness

Christ-like

Ask for wisdom on how to best Turn the offense over to God

steward this relationship for His kingdom purposes

Pray for healing

216

Pray for this person

WEEK SIX

Prayer for Resentments toward Self To b e pra ye d with your Mentor

Heavenly Father, Forgive me for the ways I have attempted to find righteousness apart from the work of Your Son. By standing outside myself, elevating myself and judging myself for my actions, emotions and behavior and, therefore, “hating myself,” I have attempted to deal with my shortcomings according to the law rather than Your grace. I tend to punish myself when I break my standards, seeking some sense of justification. In doing so, I try to deal with my sin independent of You and remain in self-imposed bondage. I have placed myself above You as judge. Today I come humbly before You that I might come under the waterfall of Your grace. Thank you for Your Son, Jesus, and the freedom that grace brings!

In Jesus’ name, amen.

GALATIANS 2:21

I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.

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217

ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER

Ask for forgiveness for attempting to find righteousness apart from Christ

Confess your attempt to deal with your shortcomings according to the law rather than grace

Acknowledge the self-imposed bondage you have created in attempting to deal with your sin apart from Christ

Ask to stand under His grace and the freedom He brings

Repent of your punishment and judgment of yourself in an attempt

Give thanks for Jesus

to seek justification

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Prayer for Resentments toward God To b e pra ye d with your Mentor Heavenly Father, I confess my resentment toward You for (the cause). I ask Your forgiveness for my pride, standing in judgment of a good, perfect, just and holy God who can see the eternal perspective, while I can only see what is right before me. Help me, by the power of Your Holy Spirit, to trust You and remember that Your plans are to bless me and not to harm me, to give me hope and a future.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

JOB 40:1–2

And the LORD said to Job: “Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty?

He who argues with God, let him answer it.”

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ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER

Confess specific resentment

Ask for forgiveness for standing in judgment

Humbly acknowledge you do not

Repent of not trusting God and His

know as God knows

eternal perspective

Give thanks for the assurance God provides His children

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A Redemptive View of Anger Anger is an emotional response to a perceived wrong done by another. In and of itself, anger is not a sin, as it can be a proper response to sin.

WASHING IN THE WORD The anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God (James 1:20). Scripture locates the source of our quarrels and conflicts not primarily in others, but within us—our passions at war inside the heart (James 4:1). When our desires go unmet, we are tempted to judge, punish, or retaliate, usurping God’s place on the throne of our lives. Yet vengeance belongs to the Lord alone (Romans 12:19). God’s anger, unlike ours, is holy and purposeful. He is slow to anger, and His wrath burns justly toward righteous and redemptive ends. Jesus embodies this perfectly—enduring profound personal injustice without retaliation, yet responding with righteous anger when God’s holiness was profaned or when hardened hearts grieved Him (Luke 23:34; Matthew 21:12; Mark 3:5).

LIFE-GIVING TRUTHS Unrighteous anger is a manifestation of the flesh and ultimately produces greater chaos rather than righteousness. Whether it is suppressed or unleashed, it avoids honest repentance before God and often grows into bitterness, despair, or relational fracture. Scripture calls us instead to come humbly before the Lord, confess our anger, and evaluate its source. Our horizontal conflicts reveal a deeper vertical problem—we seek from people or circumstances what only God can provide. Yet God gives more grace.

Jesus Himself shows us what righteous anger looks like. His anger was never selfish and always reflected the heart of God. In the synagogue, He was angered and grieved at the hardness of men’s hearts, moved by love for His people and sorrow over sin (Mark 3:1–6). In the temple, He responded with zeal for His Father’s house when it was being used for selfish gain, not because He was personally offended, but because God’s holiness was being profaned (Mark 11:15–19). In both cases, His anger moved Him to act in accordance with God’s redemptive purposes.

God is reconciling the world through His Son, and no sin will go unpunished. Those who have sinned against us will either receive the same grace and mercy we have received through the cross, or they will face God’s just judgment. Entrusting this reality to the Lord frees us from vengeance and self-protection and allows us to live as ambassadors of Christ—speaking truth in love, seeking repentance and restoration, and resting in the peace of God.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

Assessing Anger and Abuse First, let’s look at a foundational framework for talking about our issues: THREE WAYS TO LIVE

 The picture of self-rule.  Self-Centered (Selfish)  Self-Seeking (Fear)  Self-Reliant (Power)  Obsessed with control, others

and circumstances.  Alive to sin but spiritually dead.

 Still trusting in our own authority.  Alive in Christ, but in a season(s) of rebellion, seeking other satisfactions.  Deeds of the Flesh (Galatians 5:19-21)  Leads to death, destruction and chaos.

 God-Centered/Pleasing (faithful servant)

 Dependent on my Creator.  Surrendered to God’s Sovereignty.  Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)

 Abundant Life!

GALATIANS 5:19-24

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

ANGER When anger is present, there is an absence of the righteousness of God. (James 1:20) ANGER – A response (emotion, thought, word, deed) to a perceived wrong that demands justice.  

Anger in and of itself is not sinful.

It can be the appropriate response to sin Anger of Man = often unrighteous (chaotic and destructive) Anger of God = always righteous (good and right)

Righteous Anger is aroused by righteous motives in response to persistent unrighteous acts of sin, which if carried out through the proper means results in righteousness. It is birthed out of a love for God and those He protects. It has God’s glory and man’s dignity in view. It has no self-serving agenda but instead the best interest of others in mind. It is not quick-tempered, but a slow-burning response when the Spirit is provoked within us in the presence of ongoing unrepentant sin.

Anger is righteous inasmuch as it captures God’s ______________ toward that which is producing the anger.

Ask: Is this something that God would be angry about?

Unrighteous Anger is when, out of pride, we react with anger to that which is interfering with our idolatrous desire and our _______ - _______ .

When we are threatened, we attempt to preserve our kingdom, trying to control our circumstances by putting other idols on the throne of our lives.  An outgrowth of self-rule (loving something more than we love God) 

REACTIONS TO UNRIGHTEOUS ANGER 1. We can ______________ it.

Deny, suppress, or bottle it up (instead of confessing or letting it be known).

Consequences: often results in bitterness and/or depression.  Side-steps reconciliation and leaves room for bitterness (Romans 1)  My anger turns inward (depression).

2. We can ______________ it.  

We act out towards someone/something.

Release it in a way that looks moral or pious.

This disassociates ourselves from the anger/bitterness growing inside us.

(We think it’s not coming out of our own hearts!)

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Large Group Teaching Notes

If we are reacting unrighteously, that’s a sign, a warning, an alarm that something or someone other than Jesus is ______________ .

“You made me angry!” (passive; blames someone or something else)

WE ARE 100 PERCENT ________________________ FOR WHAT COMES OUT OF US. When unrighteous anger is not handled righteously it leads to abuse.

ABUSE Interacting with anything in any way that is outside of its design.

(Money, food, sex, etc.)

All sin is marked by some sort of abuse in some fashion.

However, there is a degree of abuse when it involves another life, manifesting itself in violence, oppression, violation that is absolutely horrific/deplorable.

 

TO THE ABUSED: God cares! God sees, and God hears. He is attentive to our pain.

PSALM 10:17-18

O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.

TWO ‘DAYS’ THAT WASH OVER YOUR PAIN: 1.

There is a day in the future when God, in his righteous anger, purely and perfectly will judge ________________________ .

2. There was a day in the past when God’s holy Son (an innocent man) waged war against injustice, sin, abuse, and death and HE WON THAT WAR! WHAT JESUS’ VICTORY MEANS FOR THE ABUSED: 1. Jesus ___________________ with your pain.   224

God is not distant.

He comforts from a place of shared experience.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

2. Jesus made a way not only for you to be _______________ from your abuse but also where He paid the __________________ for your sin that you might be made right with the Father.  

We are healed from sin committed against us.

We are forgiven for sin that we commit.

HEART ISSUES OF THE ABUSED: 1. A confusion of ________________________ Confusion: “This is my fault;” “I brought this on myself” Clarity: This is not your fault. The person who abused you is 100% responsible for how they treated you.  Confusion: “I only do this because I was oppressed.”  Clarity: You are 100% responsible for what comes out of you. Allow the gospel of Jesus to come into these places and heal you.  

2. A confusion of ____________________ Confusion: I am the ugly and abusive names that were given to me by my abuser.  Clarity: You are a child of God! You have been redeemed and given a new identity. You are free! 

DISTORTED DESIRES OF THE ABUSED: 1. We can ____________________ God-given desires.  

Confusion: “I will never love/trust again because that’s what got me hurt.”

Clarity: Love and trust are good, godly things. They were manipulated and perverted by others.

2. We can ____________________ good desires to an unhealthy place.

Confusion: “Safety is uppermost in my affections and highest on my agenda. I must put this above everything, even obedience to God.”  Clarity: God is my refuge and strength. 

Victims of abuse can start to adopt, incorporate and live out of a victim mentality. It’s difficult to engage because it hinders spiritual growth.

Repentance is difficult – “This isn’t something I’m responsible for.” “It’s only there because of what was done to me.” “I have nothing to repent of.”  Accountability is difficult – “You’re just like [them].” “You’re trying to oppress me.” Victims can often feel re-victimized as helpers are mis-identified as oppressors/manipulators. 

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Large Group Teaching Notes

LIES BEHIND A VICTIM MENTALITY: 1. If this had not happened, I would be _________. (I’m good) 2. If God allowed this, then God is ___________ .

3. I’m the only one who can be __________________ . (I’m god) DO YOU WANT TO BE HEALED? JOHN 5:2-9 (emphasis added)

“Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, in Aramaic called Bethesda, which has five roofed colonnades. In these lay a multitude of invalids—blind, lame, and paralyzed. One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?” The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.” Jesus said to him, “Get up, take up your bed, and walk.”

And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked.”

Our answer to this question will be determined by our willingness to bow our knee, to confess our sin, to humble our hearts, and surrender to King Jesus.

Blanks: heart; self-rule; conceal; unleash; ruling; responsible; unrighteousness; identifies; healed; penalty; responsibilities; identity; dismiss; elevate; OK; bad; trusted 226

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Small Group Notes:

Prayer Requests:

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1 CORINTHIANS 6:18–20

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

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Sex, Guilt, and Shame

Sexual Immorality Assessment Sexual immorality is any sexual act that occurs outside of God’s intended design for sex between one man and one woman within the marriage covenant. Sexual immorality is not limited to outward sexual acts. Scripture teaches that God’s design for sexual purity reaches the whole person—body, mind, heart, imagination, desires, and relationships. Jesus says that adultery is not only something committed with the body, but something that can take root in the heart through lustful looking and desiring.

(Matthew 5:27–28) This means we should not measure sexual purity only by what we have or have not done physically, but by whether our loves, longings, thoughts, affections, and relational attachments are being brought under the lordship of Christ.

God is holy, pure, faithful, and unchanging. He is never divided in His love, never careless in His promises, and never unfaithful to His covenant. His faithfulness exposes how easily our hearts drift toward lesser loves. Even when we have not committed outward sexual sin, we may still see patterns of compromise: entertaining fantasy, seeking emotional intimacy where it does not belong, using attention or affirmation to feel desired, comparing our spouse or singleness to someone else’s life, withholding affection as punishment, cultivating secret attachments, or treating another person as an escape from pain, boredom, loneliness, or disappointment.

This assessment is not meant only for those with a “major” sexual struggle. It is an invitation to bring our whole hearts before the Lord. Some may need to confess clear sexual sin. Others may need to examine subtle forms of divided affection, emotional unfaithfulness, hidden desire, or carelessness with holiness. Others may have already repented of past sin and need to remember that purity is not merely the absence of immorality, but the presence of growing faithfulness, love, self-control, and worship before God. The goal is not shame or self-condemnation. In Christ, there is forgiveness, cleansing, and restoration. The Lord does not expose sin in order to crush His people, but to make them whole. As we submit our bodies, desires, memories, and relationships to Him, He teaches us to walk in holiness—not as a way to earn His love, but as the fruit of belonging to Him. (1 Corinthians 6:18–20; 1 Thessalonians 4:3–8; Hebrews 13:4) 1 CORINTHIANS 6:18–20

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

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GOSPEL TRUTH Before getting started on the assessment, take some time to read the following verses. In the space below, summarize the character and promises of God toward our unfaithfulness.

GENESIS 1:22

JOEL 2:25

GENESIS 2:24-25

1 CORINTHIANS 6:9–11

MICAH 7:18–20

1 CORINTHIANS 6:14–20

1 JOHN 3:2–3

1 THESSALONIANS 4:1-8

Sexual Immorality Assessment Instructions GOSPEL PURSUIT Prayerfully consider areas of sexual immorality. As a subset of guilt and shame, we are looking for those activities that grieve God’s heart and burden us. When it comes to outward sexual acts, how have you participated in sex outside of God’s intended design? Feel free to add to the list.

ACTIONS

ORIENTATION

Premarital sex Adultery Promiscuity Lust Fantasizing Pornography Prostitution Sexual abuse/Rape/Date rape Phone/Cyber sex Sexual enticement Self sex/Masturbation

Homosexuality Bisexuality Polyamory Pedophilia Beastiality

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THE ASSESSMENT FORM

SECURITY

WHO OR WHAT

Was I seeking security in one of these two areas?

Who or what have I engaged sexually outside of God’s intended design?

THE STORY (WHAT HAPPENED?) Write what happened.

THE IMPACT

Materially Was this driven by my desire for material security (money, a place to stay, a nice dinner)?

Describe the impact this sin has had on your life and the lives of others.

Emotionally Was this driven by my desire for emotional security (love, peace)?

WHAT PART OF “SELF” WAS HURT OR THREATENED?

SEXUAL

Remember: A good desire becomes a lust when we are willing to sin to get it.

Was I seeking to satisfy my God-given desire for sex/pleasure outside of His design?

KEY QUESTIONS

AMBITIONS

Prayerfully consider which of these desires you were attempting to satisfy when you engaged in this activity.

Examples: “I wanted him to like me” (social ambition) or “If I could be with that girl then I must be important” (self-esteem, treating women like trophies).

Did this threaten my future hopes and plans?

SOCIAL Self-esteem Was I driven by a desire to build my self-esteem, self-confidence, value or self-worth?

Personal Relationships Was I seeking acceptance, status or belonging? Or was I responding to rejection?

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SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

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SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

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SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

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SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

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SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

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SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

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SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

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SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

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SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

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SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

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Prayer For Sexual Immorality To b e pra ye d with your Mentor Heavenly Father, I realize that sex is sacred. It is a beautiful picture of oneness reserved exclusively for one man and one woman within the context of the marriage covenant. Sex is a gift from You, intended to glorify You. It is the mingling of souls. Lord, I confess today that I have sinned and operated outside of Your intended design for this holy endeavor by (name immorality).

Father, forgive me. I have given intimate parts of myself to another. Lord, I long to glorify You. I ask that You would restore to me a right view of sex. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, that You would, for Your name’s sake and by Your power, heal the damage done as a result of this situation in my life as well as any others affected. I pray You would break any spiritual ties related to this sin. I trust in the redemptive work of Christ and His covering for my shame. I pray that You would remove or help me take captive the images and emotions tied to these events and help me not to fantasize or take pride in those things which grieve Your heart. Through the cross of Christ, I am made clean.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

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ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER

Acknowledge the sacred beauty and gift that sex is within its intended design

In Jesus’ name, pray for healing

Acknowledge the spiritual reality that

In Jesus’ name, pray for the breaking

takes place when two people join together

of soul ties

Confess sin specifically

Express trust in His work in you

Ask for help in taking your thoughts Ask for forgiveness

captive, making them obedient to the will of Christ, and for the removal of images and emotions related to the event

Express your desire to bring glory to Him

Acknowledge having been cleansed

Pray for a restored view of sex

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A Redemptive View of Sex Sex is a beautiful and sacred gift given to us by God. It is to be worshipful, but not worshiped. It is to be enjoyed and celebrated within the marriage covenant as a reflection of the gospel and our union with Christ. Any sexual act that occurs outside of God’s intended design is sexual immorality. Beyond action alone, God looks deeper to the desires and motivations of the heart. Only through the gospel will God align our hearts with His purposes for this beautiful and sacred gift.

WASHING IN THE WORD After praying through the Sexual Immorality Assessment you can use these truths to be encouraged in the battle.

1 JOHN 3:3, PSALM 51:7 When Christ died on the cross, He not only took our sin but also our shame. In Him we are clean, pure, innocent and white as snow.

LIFE-GIVING TRUTHS Sex is a good gift from God, and He created sex to be pleasurable and enjoyable. When you sin sexually, you feel guilt and shame. Because sin taints everything it touches, your mind will begin to attach the feeling of guilt and shame to sex itself, and you may begin to believe that sex is dirty or shameful. This is a lie. It is only the sin that is shameful. No matter how much you have sinned, He can cleanse you of that shame and redeem you to enjoy His gifts.

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Understanding Guilt and Shame Guilt and shame are two of the most powerful emotional responses in the human soul. Both are connected to sin and righteousness, yet both can be distorted when removed from the truth of the gospel. A redeemed view helps us discern what is true conviction and what is counterfeit—what leads us to life in Christ and what keeps us in hiding.

GUILT Guilt can be both a state and a feeling. It occurs when we have violated God’s law or moral standard. (Romans 3:23; James 2:10) True guilt is a gracious conviction of the Holy Spirit that leads to repentance, forgiveness, and restoration. (John 16:8; 2 Corinthians 7:9-10) It is evidence that we belong to God and that His Spirit is active in us.

(Romans 8:9-11) False Guilt: However, we can feel guilty without being actually guilty. False guilt arises when someone or something besides God is lord of our lives—when human expectations, perfectionistic standards, or the fear of others’ opinions rule our conscience. (Galatians 1:10; Colossians 2:20-23) False guilt says, “I did something bad,” but measures “bad” by the wrong ruler. It leads to striving, self-condemnation, and a foggy view of God’s grace. (Romans 8:1) Apathy: By contrast, when we are truly guilty and yet feel no conviction, that reveals a hardened heart. (Ephesians 4:18-19; Hebrews 3:13; Ezekiel 36:26) Only Jesus’ gospel can penetrate a heart of stone. (Colossians 1:20-22; Romans 5:9-11) The Spirit brings true conviction—not to crush us, but to restore us to life and peace. (Galatians 5:16-18) SHAME Shame is the painful sense of being defiled, unclean, or unworthy. (Genesis 3:7; Isaiah 6:5) It often flows from two sources: exposure of our own sin or the experience of sin committed against us. (Genesis 3:11-13; 2 Samuel 13:19) While guilt says, “I did something wrong,” shame says, “I am something wrong.” (Isaiah 64:6; Luke 15:19) It attacks our sense of identity and belonging. It’s closely tied to guilt and can come either from being found out for something we’ve done wrong, or, from being hurt in a way that makes us feel unworthy. (Isaiah 43:1; Isaiah 62:2-3) It develops when we measure our worth by human approval, performance, or perfection. (Galatians 1:10; Colossians 2:20-23)

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When shame is unhealed, it often expresses itself in distorted ways. For example …

• Self-Contempt: turning inward with harsh self-criticism and self-hatred.

Internalized shame creates a negative feedback loop where self-disgust intensifies shame, resulting in an overarching negative view of oneself. This can manifest as: | Harsh self-talk and constant self-blame | Self-sabotage, where individuals undermine positive aspects of their lives

because they feel undeserving

| Avoidance and isolation, which increase loneliness and reinforce shame | Inability to accept compliments due to feeling fundamentally flawed

• Contempt Toward Others: Projecting feelings of inadequacy onto others to mask shame. This defensive mechanism allows one to feel temporarily superior while hiding vulnerability. (Luke 18:9-14; Matthew 7:1) Common patterns include: | Criticizing or judging others to divert attention from personal shame | Believing in an "us vs. them" mentality to preserve self-image | Masking internal self-contempt and anger through outward contempt

• Deflection: Redirecting blame, criticism, or attention away from oneself to protect self-image. (Genesis 3:12-13) This may look like: | Blaming others for personal mistakes | Making excuses or changing the subject to avoid accountability | Playing the victim to evade recognition of personal responsibility

• Hypervigilance: Constantly scanning for disapproval or threat in social

interactions, a learned protective mechanism from repeated shaming or criticism (see Proverbs 29:25). Consequences include: | Heightened anxiety and stress | Over-analysis of interactions and behavior | Difficulty trusting others and forming close relationships

• Performance and Perfectionism: Striving relentlessly to prove worth or avoid

criticism. Shame-based perfectionism is rooted in the belief that "I am bad," leading to compulsive over-achievement and hollow success (see Ephesians 2:89). Examples include: | Obsession with maintaining a flawless image | Addiction to achievement without internal satisfaction | A cyclical pattern of fear of inadequacy, relentless effort, and intensified

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• Dissociation: Emotional or cognitive detachment from painful experiences to protect oneself from shame. This may involve: | Emotional numbing or zoning out | Feeling detached from one's body or thoughts | Fragmented sense of self and reinforcing negative self-concept

Each of these reactions attempts to manage the pain of shame without the healing presence of Christ. (Genesis 3:7; Isaiah 30:1-3) They are self-made coverings for the nakedness of the soul—temporary fig leaves that cannot cleanse or restore.

GOSPEL TRUTH Before getting started on the assessment take some time to read the following verses.

In the space below, summarize the character and promises of God toward our guilt and shame.

GENESIS 3:10

PSALM 51:17

PSALM 34:22

HEBREWS 4:15–16

PSALM 34:15–18

1 JOHN 1:7-9

PSALM 51:7-8

ROMANS 8:1

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Guilt and Shame Assessment Instructions GALATIANS 2:21

I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.

GOSPEL PURSUIT Using “The Pattern for Completing an Assessment,” prayerfully consider areas of unresolved guilt and shame. We are not looking to record every sin you committed or sin committed against you, but those that burden you or need to be reconciled with God. Denial is not resolution.

GUILT

Critical

Abortion (or approval of one) Disordered eating Abuse (verbal, sexual, physical, spiritual, authority, emotional)

Dishonesty, lying, unauthentic

Addictions (gambling, shopping, sexual, drug, alcohol, food, etc.)

Divorce (biblical or otherwise) Jealousy

Adultery Fear/Anxiety Anger (violence, fighting, murder) Gambling Anything or anyone I put first over God (idolatry)

Gossiping

Cheating

Lust (You can lust for things other than sex.)

Complaining Misleading others Controlling Neglect Coveting (to have discontent with God’s provision in your life)

Occult practices

Character defects

Promiscuity

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SHAME

Pride

Dirty feeling

Rebelliousness

Unclean

Self harm

Defiled

Self-righteousness

Deep desire to hide

Selfishness

Inability to connect

Sexual sin (broken out separately on the sexual assessment)

Unworthy

Slandering

Alienated

Slothful (not just sitting on the couch, but neglecting the important areas of life) Stealing (from family, stores, the government, companies, church, friends) Quarrelsome

Damaged Unlovable Infected Weakness/Disabilities

Ungodly thoughts, actions, emotions Unfaithfulness (to God and others)

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THE ASSESSMENT FORM

SECURITY

WHO WAS HURT?

Was I seeking security in one of these two areas:

List those affected.

THE STORY Specifically, what caused the shame or guilt? List the action you did or was done to you. Some will prefer writing narrative while others may prefer bullet points.

THE IMPACT Describe the impact of this guilt and shame on your life.

Materially Was I seeking material security (lust) or was there a perceived threat to my material security (fear)?

Emotionally Was I seeking emotional security (lust) or was this a perceived threat to my sense of emotional security or peace (fear)?

SEXUAL Was there a perceived threat to my sexual desires or sexuality (fear) or was I seeking sexual satisfaction (lust)?

IN WHOSE EYES? Whose standards were violated?

God

AMBITIONS

Self

Did this threaten my future plans for what I was seeking in any one of these areas?

Others False guilt is when we feel guilt and have done nothing wrong in God’s eyes.

WHAT PART OF “SELF” WAS HURT OR THREATENED Remember: A good desire becomes lust when we are willing to sin to get it.

SOCIAL Self-esteem Was I seeking love, value, worth, identity from others (lust) or was my sense of identity, worth, value, esteem threatened by others (fear)?

Personal Relationships Was I seeking belonging (lust) or was there a perceived threat to my personal relationships (fear)?

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252

GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM Who was hurt?

What do you feel guilt or shame about?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

In Whose Eyes?

Whose standards were violated?

God Self Others

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

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GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

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WEEK SEVEN

GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM Who was hurt?

What do you feel guilt or shame about?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

In Whose Eyes?

Whose standards were violated?

God Self Others

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

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255

GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

256

WEEK SEVEN

GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM Who was hurt?

What do you feel guilt or shame about?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

In Whose Eyes?

Whose standards were violated?

God Self Others

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

WEEK SEVEN

257

GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

258

WEEK SEVEN

GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM Who was hurt?

What do you feel guilt or shame about?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

In Whose Eyes?

Whose standards were violated?

God Self Others

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

WEEK SEVEN

259

GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

260

WEEK SEVEN

GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM Who was hurt?

What do you feel guilt or shame about?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

In Whose Eyes?

Whose standards were violated?

God Self Others

What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?

(Circle all that apply.)

Self Esteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Sexual

Ambitions

WEEK SEVEN

261

GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs (Circle all that apply.)

Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

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WEEK SEVEN

Prayer for Guilt and Shame (as a Result of Our Sin) To b e pra ye d with your Mentor Heavenly Father, Today I confess that my attempts to deal with my guilt and shame by covering with the works of my hands and hiding in darkness have failed. Today I come before Your throne and ask for Your forgiveness for (name the sin). I thank You that when I come naked before You, hiding nothing, and trust solely in the sufficiency of Christ, I receive the covering of Your grace. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ that, by Your power, You would heal the damage done in my life as a result of this situation, as well as any other lives affected, and lead me to faithful reconciliation in this situation.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

HEBREWS 10:22

Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

GALATIANS 2:21

I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.

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ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER Confess any attempts to deal with guilt and shame apart from the cross of

Confess sin and ask for forgiveness

Christ

Acknowledge receiving His grace and express gratitude for the sufficiency of Christ’s payment

Ask what needs to be done to reconcile the situation

Pray for healing and restoration for those affected

Thank Him

When you receive God’s forgiveness but fail to forgive yourself, you kick God off the throne and place yourself in higher authority. In essence, you count the cross as nothing. Repent and accept Christ’s forgiveness. Walk in freedom. Jesus’ blood is sufficient.

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WEEK SEVEN

Prayer for Shame (as a Result of Another’s Sin) To b e pra ye d with your Mentor Heavenly Father, Today I confess that my attempts to deal with my shame by covering it with the works of my hands and hiding in darkness have failed. Because I now trust in the cleansing work of the cross of our Lord, Jesus Christ, I now step out of the darkness and into the light. Though (person’s name) may have (the cause), there is nothing that the resurrecting power of Jesus cannot overcome. Through the cross of Christ, I am made clean. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ that, by Your power, You would heal the damage done in my life as a result of this situation, as well as any other lives affected.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER Acknowledge insufficiency in attempt-

Acknowledge that there is no sin

ing to deal with shame apart from the

that the resurrecting power of Christ

cross of Christ

cannot overcome

Bring to light the specific sin by naming the person and what they did

Acknowledge having been made clean

Pray for healing for those affected

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A Redemptive View of Guilt and Shame LIFE GIVING TRUTHS The gospel of Jesus Christ tells a different story, and does what shame and false guilt never can: it tells the truth about our sin and our worth. (Isaiah 53:3-6; Hebrews 12:2; 1 Peter 2:24) At the cross, Jesus bore both our guilt and our shame. He not only forgave what we did but restored who we are. (Colossians 1:21-22; Ephesians 2:4-6) When God adopted us into His family, He gave us a new name, a new dignity, and a new covering. (Zechariah 3:1-5; Isaiah 61:10; Colossians 3:12; Ephesians 1:4-7) Our worth is no longer tied to performance or perception but to the finished work of Christ.

(2 Corinthians 5:17; Colossians 3:3; Romans 6:4) In Jesus, shame no longer defines us because our identity is hidden in Him. The cross of Christ forgives sinners and cleanses victims. He removes our disgrace and clothes us in His righteousness and honor.

(1 John 1:7-9; Hebrews 9:14; Titus 3:5-7) Faith in Christ frees us from false guilt by reorienting our conscience to God’s standards rather than the shifting judgments of others. (Galatians 5:1; John 8:36) Faith also frees us from false shame by declaring over us a new identity: beloved, clean, chosen, and clothed in the dignity of the Son. (Zechariah 3:1-5; Isaiah 61:10; Ephesians 1:4-7) Because of Christ’s redemption …

• Conviction now leads to repentance and life, not condemnation.

(Romans 8:1; John 3:17-18)

• Exposure no longer leads to hiding but to healing. (Hebrews 4:15-16) • The payment Jesus made covers both the sinner and the sinned-against.

(Isaiah 53:3-6; Colossians 1:21-22)

In place of shame, Jesus gives us honor, beauty, joy, comfort, justice, favor, and freedom. (Isaiah 61:7; Psalm 34:5; 1 Peter 2:6) These are the gifts of the redeemed heart—a heart that no longer runs from God but draws near to the throne of grace with confidence. (Hebrews 4:15-16) WASHING IN THE WORD

HEBREWS 4:15-16 Jesus, our sympathetic High Priest, knew our uncleanness and still chose to bear it. Because of His mercy, we may now approach the throne of grace without fear or shame.

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WEEK SEVEN

ROMANS 8:1 “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” The Spirit’s conviction brings repentance and life; condemnation brings hiding and despair. In Christ, condemnation has been silenced forever.

ISAIAH 61:7 “Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot.” In the kingdom of God, shame is replaced with honor, and despair gives way to joy.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

Examining Sex, Guilt and Shame SEX GENESIS 1:31a

God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.

GENESIS 2:23-25

“This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

When God created sex, He created it to be ______________ .

If the goal for sex is to have our own satisfactions met, then ultimately, it will become ______________ .

GENESIS 3:1-3

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’”

DISORDERED DESIRES Pornea: any form of ______________ ___________________ that does not reflect God’s intended desire.

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WEEK SEVEN

Large Group Teaching Notes

Battle taking place  Pride  Idolatry Exchange of “funds:” Approval, security, love, affection, meeting that other thing’s desire

We need redemption.

ORDERED DESIRE Union (or oneness) with God God does not offer intimacy to those He’s not in _________________ with.

The two should become one and never be _________________ again.

GUILT & SHAME GUILT More to do with what you DO. Real guilt: I have done something _____________ .

My state of being understands my wrongness.

False guilt: I didn’t do anything wrong, but I ____________ like I did something wrong.

Hard-heartedness: I did something wrong, and I should feel the weight of that, but I completely ignore it. (Genesis 3:8-12) WEEK SEVEN

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Large Group Teaching Notes

SHAME I’m defiled. I’m dirty. It’s not that I did something wrong; it’s that I ______ wrong.

My identity is broken. I am unworthy, or unlovable.

GOSPEL SOLUTION Justification: I am guilty, but the Lord has declared me _________________ .

(Romans 8:1) Adoption: Your identity has been conferred from being a simple and depraved man or woman to being a ____________ of God.

• A whole new identity attached to your new Father!

• When the Lord adopts us, we’re no longer carrying the shame of that old identity. We’ve been made _________ . (Genesis 3:15)

• The Lord is covering you! This frees us to walk in the new identity that He has given!

• You are not guilty or in shame anymore!

REDEEMED TRUTH: Sex is a beautiful and sacred gift given to us by God. It is to be worshipful but not ____________________ .

It is to be enjoyed and celebrated within the marriage covenant as a reflection of the gospel and our union with Christ. Any sexual act that occurs outside of God’s intended design is sexual immorality. Beyond action alone, God looks deeper to the desires and motivations of the heart. Only through the gospel will God align our hearts with His purposes for this beautiful and sacred gift.

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WEEK SEVEN

Large Group Teaching Notes

INSANITY CYCLE (REPEATED)

SPIRITUAL ILLNESS

(Irritability, Restlessness, Discontentment, No Peace)

Resolutions

Desire for Relief

Remorse

Temptation

Think/Obsess

Injuries (Pain)

Death

Spree

Action

Blanks: good; lust; sexual immorality; covenant; separated; wrong; feel; ignore; am; innocent; child; new; worshiped WEEK SEVEN

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Small Group Notes:

Prayer Requests:

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WEEK SEVEN

WE E K E IG HT

Fear, Grief, and Loss

ISAIAH 41:13

For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

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WEEK EIGHT

Fear Assessment Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or danger. Anxiety is fear entangled with uncertainty, often dwelling on what might happen and whether we will have what we need. Beneath both are natural human desires — for safety, love, provision, and relationship — and the presence of these desires is not itself sinful.

Weakness is not the same as disobedience. In fact, the Psalms are filled with raw, honest expressions of fear and anguish, and not one of them is treated as a confession of sin.

Scripture does not call us to pretend danger is unreal, but to bring our fear before the Lord, trusting His presence, care, wisdom, and rule. Our fears arouse God's compassion, not His rebuke — and that compassion invites us to grow in faith, courage, and confidence in the One who is with us in every storm.

GOSPEL TRUTH Before getting started on the assessment, take some time to read the following verses.

In the space below, summarize the character and promises of God toward our fears.

ISAIAH 41:10

MATTHEW 6:25–33

PSALM 91:1–8

JOSHUA 1:9

PSALM 91:9–16

PHILIPPIANS 4:4-7

PSALM 56:3–4

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Fear Assessment Instructions ISAIAH 41:13

For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

GOSPEL PURSUIT Using “The Pattern for Completing an Assessment,” prayerfully consider if the fears below are part of your life. Feel free to add to the list.

Fear of God’s plan for my life

Fear of getting old/body image

Fear of man

Fear of losing control

Fear of losing a loved one

Fear of illness/germs

Fear of abandonment

Fear of pain/death

Fear of intimacy/relationships

Fear of change

Fear of rejection/loneliness

Fear of the unknown/future

Fear of authority (parents, teachers, police, boss, etc.)

Fear of not having enough

Fear of unemployment, creditors, financial ruin Fear of sobriety/relapse Fear of being found out Fear of people different from me Fear of conflict/confrontation

THE ASSESSMENT FORM

WHO OR WHAT List who or what you are afraid of.

THE STORY What is the story behind this fear?

THE IMPACT Describe the effect of this fear on your life. How do you react to fear verbally, physically and emotionally?

Fear of success/failure

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WEEK EIGHT

FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact Describe the impact of this (fruitful or unfruitful).

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FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

To Whom Am I Looking for Provision?

(Circle one) God

Self

Others

What Do I Treasure that I Fear Losing?

Where Am I Seeking to Find My Security?

(Circle one) Earthly Treasure

Notes:

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WEEK EIGHT

Heavenly Treasure

FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact Describe the impact of this (fruitful or unfruitful).

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279

FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

To Whom Am I Looking for Provision?

(Circle one) God

Self

Others

What Do I Treasure that I Fear Losing?

Where Am I Seeking to Find My Security?

(Circle one) Earthly Treasure

Notes:

280

WEEK EIGHT

Heavenly Treasure

FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact Describe the impact of this (fruitful or unfruitful).

WEEK EIGHT

281

FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

To Whom Am I Looking for Provision?

(Circle one) God

Self

Others

What Do I Treasure that I Fear Losing?

Where Am I Seeking to Find My Security?

(Circle one) Earthly Treasure

Notes:

282

WEEK EIGHT

Heavenly Treasure

FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact Describe the impact of this (fruitful or unfruitful).

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283

FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

To Whom Am I Looking for Provision?

(Circle one) God

Self

Others

What Do I Treasure that I Fear Losing?

Where Am I Seeking to Find My Security?

(Circle one) Earthly Treasure

Notes:

284

WEEK EIGHT

Heavenly Treasure

FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact Describe the impact of this (fruitful or unfruitful).

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285

FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

To Whom Am I Looking for Provision?

(Circle one) God

Self

Others

What Do I Treasure that I Fear Losing?

Where Am I Seeking to Find My Security?

(Circle one) Earthly Treasure

Notes:

286

WEEK EIGHT

Heavenly Treasure

Prayer for Fear To b e pra ye d with your Mentor Heavenly Father, Forgive me for walking in the fear of (name of fear). I pray that You would help me to trust You more. I acknowledge that when I fear, I can’t walk in love. I realize that self-preservation is at the root of my fears. In my pride, I attempt to control my world and fail to trust in Your ability to preserve my life. I forget that You are a good God and are fully in control. Therefore, today, I turn these fears over to You. I trust that You will meet all my needs as You promise, not always how I want. I trust that the ups and downs of life have purpose and that through it all, You, Lord, never change. Thank You that You are always with me! Where I have lived under the curse of fear, I pray You would allow me the blessing of faith that comes through grace.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

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ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER

Ask for forgiveness

Confess fear

Acknowledge your inability to

Ask for help in trusting Him

walk in love when in fear

Acknowledge root of fears

Turn fears over to Him

Place your trust in Him and His

Thank Him for always being

goodness

with you

Pray for blessings of faith where you have walked under the curse of fear

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WEEK EIGHT

A Redemptive View of Fear Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or danger. Spiritually, healthy fear is the fear of the Lord. To fear the Lord is to worship Him alone as the source of all we need. Outside of the gospel, we live our lives out of a self-centered fear that seeks to meet our own perceived needs. As the Spirit reveals this foolishness, we come under the compassion and care of our loving Father. He knows best in providing, protecting and directing our lives according to His plan and purpose, for His glory and our good.

It is important to understand that fear, in and of itself, is not sin. Fear and anxiety express our weakness amid the threats of daily life — and weakness is not the same as disobedience. The Psalms are filled with expressions of fear and anguish, and none of them are confessions of sin. Even the apostle Paul acknowledged his own fears (2 Cor. 7:5). Our fears arouse God's compassion, not His rebuke. When Jesus said "Do not be afraid," He was most often offering comfort and assurance ("I am with you; everything will be okay") not issuing a command to be obeyed through willpower alone.

WASHING IN THE WORD After praying through the Fear Assessment you can use these truths to be encouraged in the battle.

1 PETER 3:6 The command not to fear doesn’t mean that there are not frightful things. God acknowledges the reality of frightening circumstances. However, we can trust that the love of God is more powerful than any danger we face.

PHILIPPIANS 4:4–7 If we believe that God will give us everything we need, then what do we have to be afraid of?

1 JOHN 4:7–21 The gospel of Jesus Christ removes the curse of sin and the wrath of God and allows us to approach His throne with confidence. Knowing His love for us frees us from self-protection and allows us to sacrificially lay our lives down for others to know His love. When we walk in fear, we cannot walk in love.

LIFE-GIVING TRUTHS Our fears are often very revealing. We fear not having the things we lust for or covet.

The things we lust for are idols. We are called to repent of idolatry. The things we lust for may not be bad in and of themselves, but we should hold them with an open WEEK EIGHT

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hand, trusting that God will meet our needs according to His Kingdom. When our desires become excessive — loving something more than we love Jesus — that is the moment to examine our hearts and repent. But not all desires are excessive, and natural desires are not themselves sinful.

Pride is often at the root of our fears. Rather than allowing God to decide what is good for us, we say in our hearts, “This is what’s good for me.” Then when that perceived good thing is threatened, we become fearful.

It is important to remember that fear, in and of itself, is not sin — it is often a sign that we are still alive to what matters. A life completely without fear or anxiety would not reflect great faith; it would reflect a soul that no longer loves, hopes, or depends on God. Our fears, rightly directed, draw us toward Him. God is sovereign. God is good. God is love, so His actions always display love. As God's children, we know that our Father is mightier than any enemy. All others are small in comparison to Him. While fear itself is not sin, we must be watchful of how we respond to our fear. Sinful responses fall into two categories: 1.

Disobedience — acting in ways that violate God's clear commands because of what we are afraid of

2.

Silence — failing to cry out to God and instead relying entirely on ourselves or other false sources of security

When we are afraid, the faithful response is to turn toward the Lord, speak honestly to Him, and ask for His help. Fear is always an invitation to grow in faith, not to be condemned for weakness.

"Fear not" is the most repeated command in the Bible. Not being afraid has little to do with the facts of your circumstances and everything to do with understanding the character of God. Though frightening circumstances are a reality, He is our loving, all-powerful Father who delights in caring for and protecting His children. He supplies all our needs and knows them before we ask. When we find ourselves in fear, we can instead put our thoughts on the faithfulness of God.

290

WEEK EIGHT

Grief Assessment Grief is the deep sorrow over the loss of someone or something we love. This includes people, relationships, safety, security, identity, possessions, affections, and desires.

Grief is a natural response to loss and is not sinful. Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus.

We should grieve loss fully and in relationship with God. However, dealing with grief independent from God leaves us to cope rather than overcome, which leads to sinful patterns of dealing with loss.

GOSPEL TRUTH Before getting started on the assessment, take some time to read the following verses.

In the space below, summarize the truth about grief and the character and promises of God toward those who are grieving.

ISAIAH 53:3

REVELATION 21:4

JOHN 11:34–36

GENESIS 6:6

LUKE 19:41–42

PSALM 34:18

MATTHEW 5:4

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Grief Assessment Instructions JOHN 16:33

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

GOSPEL TRUTH Grief can be very painful and often comes with a myriad of emotions and difficult decisions. Everyone reacts to and handles suffering in different ways, but there are truths to remember and tools/expectations to help you navigate through this season.

You are not alone. God is near. He will be very present to walk with you through this loss. Resist temptation to isolate. Don’t avoid the painful reality of your loss by turning to quick fixes instead of entrusting yourself to God. Don’t use biblical truths to avoid heartfelt cries to the Lord (“God uses all things for our good”).

Do not neglect being a good steward of your body, mind, and spirit. Milestones may be difficult (anniversaries, birthdays, weddings, vacations).

PSALM 34:18

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

GOSPEL PURSUIT Using “The Pattern for Completing an Assessment,” prayerfully consider areas of unresolved grief. Feel free to add to the list.

Death of a loved one

Loss of possession(s)

Divorce

Loss of identity (homosexuality, Mormon-

Disability Infertility Illness/Injury Loss of relationship Loss of job

ism, etc.)

Loss of community Wayward child Difficulties in marriage Grief over own sin or consequences

Extended singleness 292

WEEK EIGHT

THE ASSESSMENT FORM

WHO OR WHAT Who or what have you lost?

THE STORY There are many pieces and dimensions that you will miss about the person or thing you are mourning. For example, when you lose a spouse, you also lose a best friend, your favorite cook, your biggest fan, their laughter, the one you celebrate with, future dreams, etc. What will you miss most? Write out thoughts, desires, questions, and complaints you have in regard to your pain.

THE IMPACT Describe the impact of this loss on your life. Where have you gone for help and hope? In what ways have you attempted to “fix” things, cope, or self-protect?

WHAT TEMPTATIONS HAVE COME OUT OF MY SUFFERING?

TOWARD GOD Was I seeking security in one of these two areas?

Doubt I have been tempted to doubt in God’s character as it is revealed in Scripture. (God is not good. If He were good, then I wouldn’t be hurting the way I am.)

Anger I have been tempted to blame God for what has happened. (If He is sovereign, then He could have prevented this suffering.)

TOWARD OTHERS Envy I have been tempted to be envious and jealous of others who have not gone through the same suffering. (I envy those who have been blessed in the way that I want to be blessed.)

Anger I have been tempted to be angry with others. (I am angry when others let me down, say the wrong thing, or forget about my pain.)

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TOWARD MYSELF Self-pity I have been tempted to feel sorry for myself and have feelings of despair.

(Everyone always abandons me. I must be unworthy. I’m hopeless.)

Isolation I have been tempted to isolate myself instead of reach out to others. (I am all alone.)

Guilt I have been tempted to put blame on myself for something that was out of my control. (If I had been living a more selfless and obedient lifestyle, God would have given me children.)

FEAR/ANXIETY In my pain and suffering, I have become fearful and anxious about various things in my life, such as finances, companionship, safety, etc.

DENIAL I know there are things I need to think about and emotions I should feel to truly move toward healing, but I’d rather be numb and not think about it.

294

WEEK EIGHT

GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

What Temptations Have Come Out of My Suffering?

(Circle all that apply)

Doubting God

Anger at God

Envy of Others

Anger at Others

Self-Pity Isolation Guilt

Fear/Anxiety

Denial

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295

GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs, Faults, Mistakes (Circle all that apply) Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

296

WEEK EIGHT

GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

What Temptations Have Come Out of My Suffering?

(Circle all that apply)

Doubting God

Anger at God

Envy of Others

Anger at Others

Self-Pity Isolation Guilt

Fear/Anxiety

Denial

WEEK EIGHT

297

GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs, Faults, Mistakes (Circle all that apply) Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

298

WEEK EIGHT

GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

What Temptations Have Come Out of My Suffering?

(Circle all that apply)

Doubting God

Anger at God

Envy of Others

Anger at Others

Self-Pity Isolation Guilt

Fear/Anxiety

Denial

WEEK EIGHT

299

GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs, Faults, Mistakes (Circle all that apply) Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

300

WEEK EIGHT

GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

What Temptations Have Come Out of My Suffering?

(Circle all that apply)

Doubting God

Anger at God

Envy of Others

Anger at Others

Self-Pity Isolation Guilt

Fear/Anxiety

Denial

WEEK EIGHT

301

GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs, Faults, Mistakes (Circle all that apply) Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

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GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM Who or What?

The Story What happened?

The Impact

What Temptations Have Come Out of My Suffering?

(Circle all that apply)

Doubting God

Anger at God

Envy of Others

Anger at Others

Self-Pity Isolation Guilt

Fear/Anxiety

Denial

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GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM STOP. Complete the following only with your Mentor.

Exact Nature of My Wrongs, Faults, Mistakes (Circle all that apply) Self-centered

Self-seeking

Frightened

Dishonest

Inconsiderate

Other:

Notes:

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Prayer for Grief To b e pra ye d with your Mentor Father, I thank You that You are a God who hears my cries and wipes away my tears. My heart is weary and often wants to give in to despair. Give me strength and grace to believe the truth of Your character and Your Word. Give me faith to trust that although difficult now, this momentary affliction is incomparable to the glory that will be revealed. Forgive me for the times I want my pain to disappear more than I want to draw near to You, even when I know You are the only one who can comfort me. I know You are the only one who can heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds. Jesus, I trust You with my heart and my life because I believe in Your great love for me. Will You meet me here and walk me through this process of healing as I begin to let (name of loss) go? Help me keep my eyes on You and Your eternal promises. (Pray and lament as you need to).

In Jesus’ name, amen.

ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER Admit sorrow, hurt, grief, and pain

Thank Him for His presence

Confess your tendency to seek comfort

Acknowledge the Holy Spirit’s ability to

from the world rather than Him

bring comfort

Trust Him with your broken heart

Ask for healing

Ask for help

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2 CORINTHIANS 4:8–18

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.

Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

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A Redemptive View of Grief Grief is a natural response to loss and is not sinful. When we grieve we can do so knowing that we stand in the loving arms of God the Father. Grief in this context is always hopeful because we know that God is making all things new. Grief outside of the gospel leaves us to cope through self-generated means and with false hope or no hope at all. Grief can become complicated when we idolize what we lost.

WASHING IN THE WORD After praying through the Grief Assessment you can use these truths to be encouraged in the battle.

PSALM 10:1; 22:1 Though resentment against God is a sin, there is a way to confess your feelings of anger and frustration to God in an honest and humble manner. Even the psalmists were honest with God about feelings of anger, frustration, confusion, and abandonment.

MATTHEW 5:4; PSALM 34:18 God is always close to us in our suffering. He promises to heal and restore.

We must grieve our loss and allow God to enter into and heal those wounds.

JOEL 2:25 The Lord promises not only to heal but to restore what has been lost.

LIFE-GIVING TRUTHS These verses illustrate the hope of the gospel amid our loss. We can confess and cry out to God in our suffering, and He comforts us and promises to restore all that has been lost. There is nothing earthly that we will be able to hold onto eternally, and there is nothing eternal that we can lose in Christ. It is secure. Dealing with loss through sinful ways always brings captivity, but God provides a way of dealing with loss that brings freedom.

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RE-READ THESE TRUTHS FROM THE MIDDLE WEEKS: BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 4: As children of God, armed with the Holy Spirit and standing firm in the gospel, we engage in the spiritual battle over the reign and rule of our hearts. God set us apart for holiness, and we look to put to death those areas of our lives that keep us from reflecting Jesus Christ to a dark and dying world. We first examine the fruit in our lives (or moral symptoms). As we move through the assessment process, we will uncover the roots (pride and idolatry) of any ungodly fruit that drive our ungodly thoughts, actions, and emotions. The forms help us examine the “fruit” of our thoughts, actions and beliefs. There are six forms: abuse, resentments, guilt and shame, sexual immorality, fears and grief.

BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 5: Under the covering of God’s grace, we step out in faith, leaving behind our old, self-protective ways of covering sin and hiding from God. We prayerfully come into the light, confessing our sins before God and to one another so that we may be healed.

BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 6: In attempting to live independent of God, we have developed dysfunctional (sinful) patterns of coping. After careful examination, we have begun to see the demonic roots of our slavery to these sinful patterns. We desire freedom.

BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 7: We renounce our former ways, offer ourselves to God and under the waterfall of His grace, and ask Him to deliver and heal us by the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. We also pray for blessing and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live life according to His Kingdom purposes.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

Examining Fear, Anxiety, and Grief 2 CORINTHIANS 1:3-11

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.

Comfort: To come to someone’s aid, to encourage, to come __________ someone.

Some suffering is as a result of our own ______ . Some comes from being sinned against. And other suffering is just the tragic result of a _______________ world.

Suffering unites us all. All of us suffer. (Do you believe this?)

THREE TRUTHS ABOUT GOD 1. God _________ you.

2. God is _________ .

3. God is ______________ and purposeful.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

FEAR 

Healthy Fears – in the face of the real and present danger of a physical threat, healthy fear helps you preserve your life and reminds you that you are not God.



Irrational/Unhealthy Fears – While it might be rooted in self-preservation, there is no present danger; and when you think it contributes to life, it actually robs you of life.

If you’re under the covering of God’s grace, there is literally nothing to __________.  

Truth: If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31) Wisdom: This does not mean that the Christian does not go where the Christian should not go. o Guard mind o Guard eyes o Do not place yourself in spiritual danger!



But we do obey God’s call …

Part of God’s call on all of our lives is that we may be called at times to go places where we will experience suffering for His __________________ .

 

An improper fear in these situations may cause us to run (away from God’s call) or it will paralyze us when the Lord has called us to press ahead.

Fearing others / ourselves / circumstances: o Our greatest concern becomes us. o When things don’t go the way I want, I want to take control.

You can’t lose anything that’s __________________ , and you can’t keep anything from here.

The things we worship or attribute worth to determine our fears.

The two most primitive expressions of a prideful heart are ____________ and ____________ .

• Lust – Seeking what I need or what I want.

• Fear – What I am lusting after that I don't want to lose.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

Fear will reveal my lusts.

I lust because I think I need/want, and I become afraid of losing what I want/have.

Lusts seek to control and __________________ . Fears seek to control and __________________ .

If I can identify my lusts/fears, then I can know what I’m holding onto idolatrously, and I can repent, and begin to find peace with God.

What are the idols of your heart?

FEAR OF “MAN” PROVERBS 29:25

The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.

The root of the fear of man is a desire to be made much of (self-promotion) or to exist in self-preservation.

IDENTIFYING FEAR OF MAN: o Are you nervous around people? Why? o Do you find yourself lying to others? (trying to preserve or promote ourselves) o Do you think often about what others think of you? (perception/reputation) o Are you crushed when someone thinks less of you and/or elated when someone thinks highly of you? o Do you run through interactions with others in your mind over and over after they occur, analyzing every detail and agonizing over what that person might think of you now?

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Large Group Teaching Notes MATTHEW 6:25-34

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?

And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

The base of anxiety is a distrust in God. Anxiety is a daily statement to God saying, “I don’t think You have my best interest in mind.” Worry is not believing God will get it right, and bitterness is believing God got it wrong.”

– Tim Keller

There are two motivations in the heart of the believer in response to this:

1. A self-centered fear to meet my own needs that is stemming from distrust and rebellion.

2. A loving obedience in response to faith where we seek and trust God. We have our dependence not on us and our abilities to provide for ourselves but rather on the God who tells us He _____________ us and who is __________________.

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Large Group Teaching Notes JEREMIAH 17:5-8

Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord.

He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come.

He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

If I am trusting in the Lord, nothing else can ____________ me; nothing else can raise ____________ in me.

What do we do with fear? We ...

• Look at our fears to expose our idols • Quiet our hearts and repent • Reflect and remember the result (peace and comfort)

A REDEMPTIVE VIEW OF FEAR: Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or danger. Spiritually, healthy fear is the fear of the Lord. To fear the Lord is to worship Him alone. It is the source of all wisdom and understanding. The absence of the fear of the Lord is the height of foolishness and leads to destruction. Outside of the gospel, we live our lives out of a self-centered fear that seeks to meet our own perceived needs. As the Spirit reveals this foolishness, we come under the compassion and care of our loving Father. He knows best when it comes to providing, protecting and directing our lives according to His plan and purpose for His glory and our good.

GRIEF & LOSS

• We are tempted to fear, yet we are called to trust.

• We all express grief in different ways.

• We will all experience grief and loss.

• Just like with fear/anxiety, we often turn to idols: food, working out, children, and other good gifts.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

STAGES OF GRIEF:

A BIBLICAL RESPONSE TO GRIEF:

1. ______________

Candor: honesty with myself

2. ____________ and resentment

Lament: getting honest with God

3. _________________ and works

Crying out to God: asking God for help

4. _________________ and alienation

Comfort: receiving God’s help

5. _________________

Hope: God is my Healer

STAGES OF HOPE: Hope in the World

Hope and Healing with God

Regrouping (trusting in self)

Waiting and trusting with faith when God says “not yet.”

Deadening/Suppressing

Wailing: groaning with hope

Despairing and doubting

Weaving: perceiving with grace

Digging “cisterns” (man’s solutions)

Worshiping God, the Redeemer, and engaging in His love

Adapted from Robert Kellemen, God’s Healing for Life’s Losses pp. 10, 18-19 (Winona Lake, IN: BMH, 2010).

A REDEMPTIVE VIEW OF GRIEF: Grief is a natural response to loss and is not sinful. When we grieve, we can do so knowing that we stand in the loving arms of God the Father. Grief in this context is always hopeful because we know that God is making all things new. Grief outside of the gospel leaves us to cope through self-generated means and with false hope or no hope at all. Grief can become complicated when we idolize what we’ve lost.

“Suffering is having what you don't want, and wanting what you don't have.”

- Elizabeth Elliot

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Large Group Teaching Notes

INSANITY CYCLE (REPEATED)

Fear/Grief

SPIRITUAL ILLNESS

(Irritability, Restlessness, Discontentment, No Peace)

Resolutions

Desire for Relief

Remorse

Temptation

Think/Obsess

Injuries (Pain)

Death

Spree

Action

Blanks: alongside; sin; fallen; loves; good; sovereign; fear; namesake; eternal; lust; fear; obtain; preserve; loves; sovereign; worry; fear; Denial; Anger; Bargaining; Depression; Acceptance WEEK EIGHT

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Small Group Notes:

Prayer Requests:

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WE E K NINE

Roots

Connecting Fruit to Roots

SPIRITUAL DYNAMICS There are two kingdoms in conflict. There is a cosmic battle between the kingdom of darkness and the Kingdom of God’s beloved Son. There are those who have willfully pledged their allegiance to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords and those who have refused to submit to His authority and therefore have in fact given themselves to the enemy in going their own way. Our hearts are rooted (given to) one of these two kingdoms at all times.

Seeing the spiritual dynamics beneath the bad fruit in our lives awakens us to the reality of with whom we are in agreement. The enemy tempts our flesh to be given to the world. Jesus invites us into the kingdom of heaven where by the Spirit we can live fruitful lives. It comes down to obeying Him or gratifying our flesh. If we repent of the fruit but fail to renounce the roots, we will continue to bear bad fruit.

GENESIS 3:15 “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.”

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Exact Nature of My Wrongs We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Next we will re-examine our assessments from a different angle and discover the truth behind the exact nature of our wrongs. We will do this by completing the final parts of each assessment. It is one thing to acknowledge the bad fruit in our lives. It is another to see the exact nature of our wrongs and what that fruit is rooted in.

Consider the following in completing the assessments with your Mentor:

Selfish/Self-Centered Does this stem from how this affected me (self-centered), or is it more out of a concern for the individual in their relationship with the Lord (God-centered)?

Hint: What part of “self” was threatened or seeking satisfaction? Does this emanate from a selfish or servant heart?

Self-Seeking Am I more concerned with getting something I want or am I seeking to please God? Is it about not getting the esteem (respect, worth, love) I want, the relationships I want, the security I want, the pleasure or comfort I want or the future I want?

Frightened Is this birthed out of unbelief and distrust (unhealthy fear) of God, leading me to attempt to meet my own needs, or is this birthed out of a faith working through love, leading us to obey God?

Dishonest Dishonesty is rooted in lies. We can easily believe the lies of the enemy and be deceived. Are we believing that these desires should be filled by the world and sinful people, rather than by our perfect, all-powerful, loving Creator? Am I believing a lie or walking in truth? How am I being deceived?

Inconsiderate Have I only considered myself, or have I really sought to understand the other person? Am I compassionate toward their story? Have I considered that they too are in need of God’s grace? Have I considered how God could use this for His Kingdom purposes?

If you circle one of these words in an assessment, you are likely to circle them all.

This is because together they describe the flesh (selfish, self-centered, self-seeking, frightened, dishonest and inconsiderate). We either respond out of our flesh or by the Spirit, evidenced by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, fruitfulness and self-control.

The fertile ground of our stories makes our responses understandable, but it doesn’t make them right. If it doesn’t reflect Christ, it is a sinful pattern.

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Being Rooted in God’s Kingdom

Let’s look at the parts of self that were hurt or threatened and shift our thinking to how God abundantly satisfies our desires through faith in Him.

Self-Esteem God has given us a good desire for dignity, worth and value. However, because of sin, we have fallen to a state of depravity. Rather than encouraging self-esteem, we need to be redeemed. Attempts to find worth and value apart from the cross of Jesus Christ are temporary, but God’s plan for redeeming a people for Himself is eternal. Our worth comes from God.

Personal Relationships God created us to live relationally with Him and others. We have a God-given desire to belong. In our fallen state, we try to control and define our relationships. By faith we are never alone: God Himself is with us. He adopts us into His family.

Material Security In reading Matthew 6:19–34, we realize that God is good, He is in control and He knows what we need materially. However, He warns us not to lay up treasures on earth because they are easily threatened and do not last. Instead of worrying about those things, we should seek first His eternal Kingdom and righteousness.

He will provide for us according to His goodness and Kingdom purposes, in His timing and in His way.

Emotional Security In the perfect garden paradise of Eden before the Fall, there was shalom, or peace. We have a God-given desire for peace. Through faith in Jesus Christ, we are given peace with God. We rest behind the mighty fortress of Jesus, where no person or circumstance can rob us of our peace with Him. Even if the waves of despair and destruction come crashing in, the Lord is our refuge. We will not be moved because He cannot be shaken.

Sexual Relations/Sexuality There is a God-given desire for pleasure, including sex. God is a God of pleasure and He gave us senses to enjoy His creation; however, we enjoy it within the boundaries He established. God created sex to be celebrated and enjoyed between a husband and wife within the covenant of marriage. Outside of that, it becomes destructive.

Ambitions Ambitions come out of a God-given desire for hope. We tend to put our hope in things of the world. But God is our hope: He overcame the world, Satan, sin, and death. We will be raised with Christ and never experience death again. God demonstrated this miraculous, resurrecting power in Christ on the cross. Our future is secure in Christ and we should place our hope in Him alone. Healing comes as we turn from seeking these God-given desires of this world. (Psalm 37:4)

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Expose Sinful Patterns & Bad Roots JAMES 4:1–10

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

As we have examined our stories, desires, wounds, and responses, the Lord may be bringing recurring sinful patterns into the light. These patterns are not your identity in Christ. They are ways the flesh has learned to seek protection, control, comfort, approval, pleasure, or satisfaction apart from God. Some of these patterns may have developed in response to real suffering, and their development may be understandable. But they are not meant to remain our way of life. The Lord exposes them not to condemn us, but to lead us to confession, repentance, freedom, healing, and new fruit by His Spirit.

The list on the next three pages is organized around the six “parts of self” that may have been hurt or threatened in your life. The roots listed under each section are not what you will carry forward; they are included to help you recognize what may be beneath the surface. What you are looking for are the sinful patterns—the bad fruit/ thorns—that the Holy Spirit is helping you to see.

The list is not exhaustive, It is meant to help you recognize recurring patterns the Holy Spirit may be bringing into the light.

As you read over the next two pages, mark any words that stand out to you. Then circle your top three sinful patterns to bring before the Lord in prayer, confession, and renunciation.

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S INFUL PAT TE R N S Worry | Anxiety | Fearful Control | Hyper-Vigilance Carrying possible trouble as though peace depends on me, and trying to feel safe by managing, rehearsing, or staying constantly on guard.

Self-Seeking | Selfish Ambition Pursuing my own gain, comfort, or recognition above love for God and others.

Defensiveness | Minimizing | Blame-Shifting Protecting myself from correction, exposure, or responsibility.

Avoidance | Denial | Escape Stepping away from what needs to be faced, received, grieved, confessed, or obeyed.

Stubbornness | Rebellion Resisting correction, authority, limits, or surrender.

Emotional Shutdown | Numbing Dulling or disconnecting from pain instead of bringing it honestly to God.

Entitlement | Discontentment Believing I am owed more than I have been given.

Comparison | Envy | Jealousy Measuring my life against others and struggling to receive God’s portion for me.

Busyness | Overworking | OverScheduling Filling life with activity to avoid limits, dependence, rest, or what is happening in my heart.

False Guilt | Self-Condemnation Carrying guilt or shame in a way that agrees more with accusation than with Christ.

Procrastination | Indecision Delaying faithful action because it feels too hard, uncertain, costly, or exposed.

Shame-Hiding | ImageManagement | Secrecy Managing what others see or keeping things hidden so I do not have to be fully known.

Self-Reliance | Control Trusting myself more than God and trying to manage life as though everything depends on me.

Pride | Self-Importance Trying to feel secure by lifting myself up, proving myself, or living as though I know best.

Perfectionism | Performance | Striving Trying to feel safe, worthy, successful, or accepted through flawlessness, achievement, effort, or rule-keeping.

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Self-Pity | Depression Getting stuck in my pain or weakness as though God’s grace cannot meet me there.

Demanding Validation | PeoplePleasing | Fear of Man Looking to others for the approval, worth, security, or acceptance that belongs to God. Unhealthy Dependence Looking to another person to make me feel secure, whole, or okay.

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Manipulation | Controlling Others Pressuring, managing, or steering others to get the response I want.

Withdrawal | Isolation Pulling away to avoid being known, hurt, corrected, or called to love.

Enabling Sin | Keeping False Peace Avoiding truth or consequences in the name of keeping peace.

Bitterness | Resentment | Unforgiveness Holding onto wrongs until hurt hardens into distance, judgment, or repayment.

Condemnation | Contempt | Criticism Placing myself above another person as judge.

Quarrelsomeness | Sarcasm Using conflict or sharp words to wound, belittle, or protect myself.

Gossip | Slander Using words about others in ways that harm, expose, divide, or damage.

Lying | Cheating | Stealing | Dishonest Gain Bending truth or taking wrongly in order to get or protect what I want.

Partiality | Racism Valuing or devaluing people in ways that deny their God-given dignity.

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Abusive Behavior | Harmful Use of Power Using power, words, anger, or control to harm or burden another person.

Neglect | Inconsideration Failing to love, protect, or attend to those God has entrusted to me.

Coveting | Greed | Hoarding | Stinginess | Trusting Possessions Craving or holding tightly to things or comfort as though they are my security.

Sexual Lust, Immorality, or Fantasy | Pornography | Objectifying Others Pursuing sexual desire, escape, comfort, or pleasure apart from love, covenant, holiness, and the dignity of others.

Gluttony | Self-Gratification Using pleasure or excess to comfort myself apart from God. Laziness | Sloth | Irresponsibility Avoiding faithful effort, obedience, or responsibility.

Apathy | Spiritual Dullness Becoming dull to what should move me toward God, repentance, love, or action.

Despair | Hopelessness | Faithlessness Living as though God’s nearness, mercy, help, or change is out of reach.

Cynicism | Pessimism | Defeatism Expecting disappointment, failure, or harm as though sin or suffering has the final word.

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Renouncing Renounce: to formally declare one’s abandonment of a claim, right, or possession.

We have now seen Satan's influence from which our sinful patterns of coping arise.

It is now time to renounce these former patterns of relating to God, self, and others.

Remember we are taking inventory of our hearts and becoming willing to rid ourselves of those items not useful in reflecting Christ. We must willingly to totally surrender to His Lordship so we do not give the enemy a foothold. We need to renounce these sinful patterns as well as the underlying lies we believe and vows we have made.

SINFUL PATTERNS & SHORTCOMINGS As we have said, sinful patterns are self-generated, meaning they are rooted in self rather than trust in God. There are often weeds in our gardens that look like flowers. They require energy that could go toward gospel fruitfulness and give a foothold to the enemy.

What unfruitful patterns of coping or roots have surfaced during the assessments?

List the ones you believe the Lord has been calling your attention to.

Do you desire freedom from these patterns? Are you ready to renounce or come out of agreement with them and ask God to remove them?

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LIES Lies from the enemy feed these unfruitful coping strategies. Often the focus of these lies is on self rather than on Him. For example: “I am unlovable” instead of “God is love.”

What specific lies are you in agreement with when operating in these dysfunctional patterns? List the lies.

Do you desire freedom from these lies? Are you ready to renounce these lies and come out of agreement with them?

Examples of lies and their corresponding truths: Lie •

Truth If I hadn’t desired love, then I wouldn’t

•

have been abused.

Evil took advantage of what is precious in God’s sight. It is not my fault. The desire to be loved is a good, God-given desire that He wants to satisfy. It is normal for people to ask why when they suffer (John 9:1-2). See John 9:3 for Jesus’ answer.

•

I need to look out for myself because no

•

one else is going to.

God is a refuge. Only God can protect and defend me. Ultimately, living a life of self-protection, I create a greater mess.

•

Nobody wants me because I am messed up and unlovable.

•

The Creator of the universe chose me before the foundations of the earth. He loves and cherishes me.

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VOWS Vows are often focused on what I am going to do or not do (rooted in self). They are about self protection (ex. “I will never…” or “I will always…). We must renounce these vows and look to Christ for strength to follow God’s voice into whatever good plans He has for us.

What vows have you made that may be hindering you from following God’s voice?

Are you willing to renounce the self-generated vows and look to Christ instead?

Are you willing to renounce these self-generated vows and look to Christ instead?

Examples of vows and their corresponding truths: Vow

Truth

•

•

I will never let anyone close to me so I won’t get hurt.

I can trust God to protect me. His love frees me to love others, even if I get hurt.

•

I will never allow myself to be put in a

•

shameful situation again.

“Those who look to the Lord are radiant and their faces will never be put to shame” (Psalm 34:5).

•

I will not desire anything. I will just be “neutral” and without opinions.

•

“A hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12). The Lord gives good gifts, and we can trust Him with our desires. We lack no good thing in Him (Psalm 34).

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R E PL A NT IN TRUTH REPLANT Not only do we need to uproot from seeking to have our desires fulfilled through a corrupt world, we need to replant in the riches of the kingdom, by the Spirit.

Living under the authority of Jesus allows us to live contentedly in a world that is dissatisfying. This shift nourishes our souls and brings about fruitfulness.

UNDERLYING DESIRES In these patterns and practices we are often seeking some God-given desire to be satisfied.

What desires have you been seeking to fulfill? (Examples: Love, worth, value, significance, peace, control, safety, comfort, pleasure, stability, to be heard, validation, justification, compassion, hope, a future, power, justice, desirability, goodness, to be understood).

How has the world betrayed you and failed to satisfy your desires?

How does God satisfy these desires?

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SUMM A RY (IN PR E PA R ATION TO B E PR AY E D OV E R) Summarize what you just processed into the following lists in preparation to be prayed over with your Mentor GOOD GOD-GIVEN DESIRES I HAVE TRIED TO SATISFY IN THE WORLD (Parts of Self that Have Been Hurt or Threatened)

1.

2.

3.

SINFUL PATTERNS

1.

2.

3.

LIES

1.

2.

3.

VOWS

1.

2.

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Complete with Mentor

Prayers of Repentance and Healing Knowledge into the inner workings of our hearts and even the spiritual dynamics at work do not change us. We must pray to the One who has the power to bring about change. Following the pattern found in Jesus’ teaching on how to pray, we pray from a posture of submission, and ask him to deliver us.

We renounce our former ways, offering ourselves to God, and under His grace, ask Him to deliver and heal us by the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. We also pray for blessing and empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live lives pleasing to Him. This is a time to come before the Lord, lay our lives at His feet, and ask that He bring freedom, healing and blessing. We must start by offering our lives completely to Him, to be useful according to His will and His Kingdom purposes. We renounce lies, break vows, and pray that He would deliver us from sinful patterns of relating to Him, ourselves, the creation, and one another. This time of prayer should be for mental, emotional, spiritual, relational, and even physical healing.

TO BE PRAYED BY PARTICIPANTS

Prayer to Come Under His Authority "Heavenly Father, I now see how I have lived in agreement with the ways of the world and for my kingdom, my name and my will. I now renounce those ways and offer myself completely to You to be utilized for Your kingdom plan and purposes.

Prayer to Renounce Specific Lies (to be prayed over each lie) "Heavenly Father, please forgive me for believing the lie ____________.

I renounce that lie and come into agreement with the truth that ____________.

Prayer to Break Vows (To Be Prayed Over Each Vow) "Loving Father, in my distress, I have vowed to/to never ____________. In doing so, I have alienated myself from You and sought to keep myself from harm. In doing so, I have given Satan a foothold. I now break that vow by Christ’s authority and come to You as my protector. I trust You will give me the grace to overcome all that the enemy brings.

Prayer to Renounce Sinful Patterns (to be prayed over each pattern) "Loving Father, please forgive me for the self-generated patterns of coping and seeking to satisfy my desires through the world rather than through your Kingdom. I renounce the pattern of (name sinful pattern) in Jesus’ name."

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TO BE PRAYED BY YOUR MENTOR You should understand the prayer and be praying in agreement with your Mentor as they pray over you.

"Heavenly Father, for Your name’s sake and according to your love and mercy, we ask that you would deliver (participant’s name) from any influence that is tempting him/her to (name sinful pattern) so that he/she may freely serve You and Your kingdom. Lord, we ask You to fill those places previously occupied by the enemy with the Holy Spirit and bless them in the name of Jesus Christ."

MARK 11:23–24

“Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

MATTHEW 7:9 –11

“Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”

LUKE 10:19

Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

Getting to the Roots LUKE 6:43-45

“For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

Fruit in our life — good or bad — is really the outgrowth of what we __________________ what we __________________ , and what we give our __________________ to. (Matthew 6:21) JAMES 4:1

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?

Questions: When you consider the people in your life …  Why do you get so annoyed when people do certain things?  Why are so many of your relationships filled with bickering and friction?  Why do you need people to be a certain way?  Why don’t you love people the way you should?  What is at the heart of this interpersonal tension?

Answer: Your passions are at war within you! (James 4) hēdonē – (Gr.) hedonism: A lifestyle where you do what you want and you get what you want.

JAMES 4:2-4

You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.

You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. The original lie: you can go around God and not to God for ________________ , for validation, and for meaning — for your life to be significant.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

Spiritual adultery: giving the intimacy and worship that were created for ____________ to things and people.

The base of our dysfunction is an over-desire or a passion that roots deeply and infects our hearts.

DESIRES The Lord has given all of us good _______________ .  

Matthew 7:9 Psalm 37:4

Over-Desires – idolatry, or elevating something to first place in my heart.

Remember the parts of self that were hurt or threatened from your assessments: SelfEsteem

Personal Relationships

Material Security

Emotional Security

Ambitions

Sexual Relations /Sexuality

More Examples of Good Desires: Dignity Worth Value Significance Justification Respect Relationship

Love Belonging Validation To be heard Compassion To be understood To be fully known

Security Peace Comfort Control Safety Stability Justice

Hope Health Power Goodness Desirability Pleasure Connection

Under-Desires – shutting off God-given desires in an attempt to self-protect.

God does not want our desires to ______________ us, and He does not owe us the fulfillment of our desires on our own terms.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

WHEN OUR DESIRES BEGIN TO OWN US …

The Elevation of Desire (idolatry)

Adapted from Paul David Tripp, War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2000). 59.

This is referenced in your assessments as “the exact nature of my wrongs” Selfish/Self-centered | Self-seeking | Frightened | Dishonest | Inconsiderate

CONNECTING FRUIT TO ROOTS

THREE ENEMIES

1. The _______________ 2. The _______________ 3. The _______________ realm

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Large Group Teaching Notes

THE GOAL OF THE ENEMY Satan wants to draw your attention away from God and to make you ____________________ just like he is. (Narcissism) JAMES 4:5-10

Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”

- C.S. Lewis

THE TACTICS OF THE ENEMY Satan is always going to pounce on your ___________________ .

MATTHEW 4:3

And the tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.”

Satan wants you to make this about yourself!

THE PROVISION OF GOD MATTHEW 4:4

“It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”   

I am not my desires.

What it means to be faithful in the Kingdom of God. I am obedient to the Lord because my life is spoken for.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

Jesus shows us what it means to _____________ _____________ when our desires are not being met.

The fool always disadvantages the community for the sake of himself, but the wise person disadvantages themselves for the sake of others.

BEING ROOTED IN GOD’S KINGDOM God can break us by His grace from the curse of our self-absorption and the bad _____________ that’s come with it.

Truth From this Week: In attempting to live independent of God, we have developed dysfunctional (sinful) patterns of coping. After careful examination, we have begun to see the demonic roots of our slavery to these sinful patterns. We desire freedom.

We renounce our former ways, offer ourselves to God, and, under the waterfall of His grace, ask Him to deliver and heal us by the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. We also pray for blessing and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live life according to His kingdom purposes.

The battle of your life is to continue to ________________ those old ways, to ______________ by His grace, and to ______________ in the kingdom of God.  We mortify the flesh, that which has already been crucified.  We renounce hollow lies (repent of our obsession with other peoples’ stories).  We recognize that the enemy is a mocker/deceiver/schemer, and we resist him, knowing that he will flee from us because of the power of Jesus Christ.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

ELEMENTS OF THE LORD’S PRAYER (MATTHEW 6:9-13) 

Worship: o "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name" (v.9) o Acknowledge God's holiness and your desire to honor Him.



Kingdom and Will: o "Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" (v.10) o Express a desire for God’s will to be carried out. o Acknowledge God’s authority.



Petition for Needs: o "Give us this day our daily bread" (v.11) o Request God to provide your daily needs.



Confession and Intercession: o "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" (v.12) o Request for forgiveness of sins. o Acknowledge your need to forgive others.



Guidance and Protection: o "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil" (v.13) o Petition for protection from temptation. o Ask for help identifying the lies of the Devil.



Worship: o "For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever" o Declare God's sovereignty and authority.

Blanks: believe; treasure; hearts; purpose; God; desires; own; world; flesh; demonic; self-absorbed; identity; trust God; fruit; renounce; uproot; plant WEEK NINE

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Small Group Notes:

Prayer Requests:

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WE E K TE N

The New Heart

Day One C AUS E S OF QUA R R E L S A ND FIG HTING READ JAMES 4:1–10

1.

What is at the heart of fighting and quarreling?

2.

What does our unrighteous anger reveal?

JAMES 1:20

The anger of men does not produce the righteousness of God. 3.

340

What does James suggest is part of the problem at the end of verse 2?

WEEK TEN

4.

According to verse 3, what is at the heart of their prayers?

5.

According to verse 4, how does God view our attempts to satisfy our desires through the world rather than Him? Is our biggest problem horizontal or vertical?

6.

What hope do we find in verse 6? Contrast the way God relates to the humble and the proud.

7.

The devil can tempt us with destructive anger to be used as a tool for his purposes. What are we instructed to do in verse 7–8?

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8.

In light of God’s grace, what are we instructed to do in verses 9–10?

9.

Contrast the outcome of the humble against that of the proud (self-exalting).

REMINDER: The anatomy of temptation involves real personal evil (Satan and demons) enticing the flesh through the world. We must resist evil and not come into agreement with it.

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

JAMES 3:17

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

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Day Two HOW THE BAT TLE I S FOUG HT READ EPHESIANS 6:10 –20

1.

What are we instructed to do (v. 11)? For what purpose?

2.

The passage states that we are engaged in spiritual warfare (v. 12).

What supernatural power are we up against?

3.

The imagery of this passage describes a soldier dressed for battle. Why is it important for believers to put on the full armor of God as we engage in daily warfare? (v. 13)

COLOSSIANS 2:15

He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.

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4.

What makes up the armor of God in verses 14–17? How might each piece of armor help us stand firm?

Piece of Armor

Belt

5.

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Spiritual Resource

Truth

Help for Standing Firm

Recognize the Enemy’s Lies.

Verses 18–20 offer instruction on prayer. When, how, and for whom do we pray?

WEEK TEN

Day Three OFFE RING OUR S E LV E S A S LIV ING SACRIFI CE S READ ROMANS 11:33–12:8

1.

How did Paul respond to the revelation of God’s wisdom and knowledge in bringing about our redemption in Christ? (v. 33)

2.

Compare verse 34 with 1 Corinthians 2:16. What additional insight do you get by reading both passages together?

3.

Compare Romans verse 35 with Job 41:11. What additional insight to you get by reading both passages together?

4.

Chapter 12 begins with an appeal based on gospel truths. What is the basis of Paul’s appeal? What was he exhorting believers to do?

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5.

In verse 1, how is the connection between the use of our bodies and our spiritual reality described?

6.

What does Paul tell us not to do in verse 2? What does he tell us to do?

Why?

7.

In offering ourselves to God, we are to be used as instruments for His redemptive purposes. Describe how God intends us to function according to verses 3–8.

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Day Four J E SUS ’ E X A MPLE IN A S K IN G READ MATTHEW 6:6 –13

1.

What danger are we told to guard ourselves against in verse 5 regarding our prayer life? What are the benefits of a secret prayer life?

2.

What danger are we told to guard ourselves in verse 7 regarding our prayer life?

3.

To whom does Jesus have us pray in verse 9? Where is He located? What are we to ask of Him?

4.

What does Jesus tell us to daily ask for in verse 11? If we are submitted to the Kingdom, for what purpose are we asking?

WEEK TEN

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5.

What does Jesus tell us to daily ask for in verse 12? What expectation does Christ say is part of that request?

MAT THEW 6:14 –15

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

6.

What does Jesus tell us to daily ask for in verse 13?

READ MATTHEW 7:7–11

7.

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What are the conditions to these promises?

WEEK TEN

8.

Who is inviting us to ask, seek, and knock?

JOHN 4:10

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”

9.

How does verse 11 shift your focus on viewing God as a good father?

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Day Five J E SUS ’ AUTHORIT Y MAT THEW 7:28 –29

And when Jesus finished these sayings, the crowds were astonished at his teaching, for he was teaching them as one who had authority and not as their scribes.

Authority is the power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience.

READ MATTHEW 8:1–10:1

1.

Who approaches Jesus in Matthew 8:1–4? How does he approach Him? What happens? Over what does Jesus demonstrate His authority? What does this reveal about what God is doing spiritually through the Kingdom?

2.

Who approaches Jesus in Matthew 8:5–13? How does he approach Him? What is the context? What happens? What does this reveal about what God is doing spiritually through the Kingdom?

3.

How and over what does Jesus demonstrate His authority in verses 14–17?

In verses 23–27? In verses 28–34?

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4.

Jesus is demonstrating who He is and that He alone is worthy of our following. What is the cost of following Jesus according to verses 18–22?

5.

In Matthew 9:1–8, Jesus shows His authority to heal a paralyzed man.

Why does Jesus say he is doing this physical healing (v. 6)?

6.

Who did Jesus come for (vv. 12–13)?

7.

Describe the scene when Jesus heals two blind men. What is God doing spiritually through the Kingdom that correlates?

8.

What does Jesus then say to do in 9:37 and 10:1?

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Day Six GOD I S J E A LOUS FOR OUR HE A R T S READ LUKE 18:18–30

1.

How did Jesus respond to the rich man? How did Jesus reveal the truth about who He is (v. 19)?

2.

How does Jesus use the law (v. 20)?

3.

What is Jesus addressing in the rich ruler’s heart in terms of what he loves most or worships?

MAT THEW 6:21

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

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4.

Why do you think it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God?

5.

With whom is this impossible? Where then can we find hope (v. 27)?

6.

How did Jesus highlight the First and Second Commandments and the first part of the Great Commandment (vv. 29–30)?

REVEL ATION 3:17

You say, I am rich. I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.

7.

What is the cost of following Jesus? What is the relative value of giving up things in this life for the sake of the Kingdom?

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Day Seven ME NTOR S HIP D I SCUS S ION PR E P 1.

Internal ruling desires lead to fights and quarrels. What desires tend to rule your heart and trigger unrighteous anger?

2.

How do you usually deal with conflict?

3.

How we use bodies is a reflection of what we worship. If someone wants to observe your daily routine and corresponding practices, what would they conclude you worship or serve?

4.

We tend to worship/fear that which we believe has what our hearts desire. What desires are you trying to satisfy and where are you seeking to satisfy them?

5.

Where do you tend to seek value, worth, and significance?

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GAL ATIANS 6:14

But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

6.

We all have an innate desire to belong and be included in something bigger than ourselves (community). Historically where have you fought to belong? What was required of you to belong?

7.

We tend to form community around shared values, interests, and loves.

What bonds the community in which you feel most connected? What is attractive about those relationships?

8.

To what degree has seeking to meet your own material needs motivated your work?

PHILIPPIANS 4:19 –20

My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.

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9.

In the story of the rich young ruler we see that his wealth hindered his obedience to follow Christ. What hinders your obedience to Christ?

10.

When we withhold lordship (authority) from Christ in any area of our lives, whom do we give that lordship to by default? Who then do we serve?

11.

Jesus taught us how to pray. In your own words, how did Jesus teach us to pray?

BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 6: In attempting to live independent of God, we have developed dysfunctional (sinful) patterns of coping. After careful examination, we have begun to see the demonic roots of our slavery to these sinful patterns. We desire freedom.

12.

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What patterns do you most identify with (see assessments)?

Are you ready to have God remove all of those?

WEEK TEN

BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 7: We renounce our former ways, offer ourselves to God and, under the waterfall of His grace, ask Him to deliver and heal us by the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. We also pray for blessing and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live life according to His Kingdom purposes.

13.

Personally ask Him to remove them.

MAT THEW 7:9 –11

Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

MARK 11:23–24

Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, “Be taken up and thrown into the sea,” and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

WEEK TEN

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WE E K E LE V E N

Forgiveness

WEEK ELEVEN

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Day One GOS PE L– CE NTE R E D COMMUNIT Y B RING S UNIT Y READ MATTHEW 18:1–20

1.

We see conflict among the disciples in verse 1. What are they arguing over?

2.

How does Jesus intervene in an effort to resolve the conflict (vv. 2–3)?

JAMES 3:16

For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

3.

How does the example of becoming like children give the disciples insight into how they must enter the Kingdom of heaven? What virtue is the basis for greatness in the Kingdom of heaven (v. 4)?

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MAT THEW 5:3 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

4.

According to verses 5 and 10, how should Christ’s covenant community respond to those seeking help and direction in their weaknesses?

What characteristic of God’s heart is exemplified?

5.

What awaits those who mislead or take advantage of others in their weakness? How do these verses show us God’s heart of justice?

6.

If the church is meant to receive but not mislead, where are we to lead broken people?

MAT THEW 19:14

But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."

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7.

Rather than despising these “little ones,” what are we to do if they go astray (vv. 10–14)? What do we see about God’s heart?

8.

Our pursuits reveal the things we love. How does the covenant community’s pursuit of a straying sheep reveal God’s heart? What does a church’s lack of pursuit indicate?

9.

What takes place when the sheep that strays is found?

10.

What processes of loving correction does Jesus outline when addressing a brother or sister who sins against you (vv. 15–16)?

11.

What role do other believers serve in this process (v. 16)?

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12.

If the person does not listen, even to the church, what steps should the church take to discipline him or her?

13.

What authority has been given to the church (v. 18)?

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Day Two FORG IV E NE S S READ MATTHEW 18:21–35

1.

Peter apparently believes he is being very gracious in the question he asks Jesus (v. 21). How does Jesus respond to Peter?

2.

How much does the first servant owe to his master? What would that equate to today? What does the law require?

3.

What does the first servant offer to do? Is it realistic (v. 26)?

4.

How does his master respond (v. 27)?

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5.

What does the first servant do to the second servant (v. 28)?

6.

How does that compare to what the first servant owed the master?

7.

What does the second servant offer to do (v. 29)?

8.

How does the first servant respond? What does this reveal about his heart (v. 30)?

9.

How do the fellow servants or witnesses respond (v. 31)?

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10.

How does the master deal with the first servant (v. 34)?

11.

What lesson is Jesus teaching (v. 35)?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSES

MAT THEW 6:14 –15

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

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Day Three MOR E ON CONFRONTING A ND FORG IV ING READ LUKE 17:1–10

1.

How likely is it that you will encounter “temptations to sin” when sinned against (v. 1)?

2.

How do Jesus’ words in verse 2 remind us of God’s justice?

3.

What are you instructed to do if your brother sins according to verse 3? If he repents, what are you commanded to do?

POINT OF INTEREST: There are two aspects to forgiveness. We are always commanded to forgive from the heart by entrusting offenses to the Lord vertically. For the relationship to be reconciled, a person must recognize and confess their sin so that horizontal forgiveness is granted.

4.

Jesus tells the disciples that obedience in forgiving requires faith only the size of a mustard seed. If faith is not the issue, what is the issue?

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5.

Jesus tells the story of the servant coming in from the field to support His point (vv. 7–10). How do you think he felt at the end of a long day plowing in the fields?

6.

What is the servant not asked to do? What is he asked to do?

7.

Is his obedience predicated on feeling like it?

8.

How much does Jesus’ command to forgive have to do with how we feel?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSES

LEVITICUS 19:17–18

You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD. 368

WEEK ELEVEN

Day Four CONFRONTING – E X A MPLE FROM SCRIP TUR E READ 2 SAMUEL 11

1.

Summarize the story of David and Bathsheba.

READ 2 SAMUEL 12

2.

Who does the Lord send to confront David (v. 1)?

3.

What story does Nathan tell David to help him see the injustice of his actions (vv. 1–4)?

4.

How does David respond to the injustice? What did the man in the story deserve? What restitution was required?

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5.

How does the Lord see David’s injustice (vv. 7–10)?

6.

What generational effects will come from this (vv. 10–12)?

7.

David’s sin was in private; will the consequences be seen by others (v. 12)?

LUKE 12:2

Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be made known.

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WEEK ELEVEN

Day Five A MBA S SA DOR S A PPE A LING TO THE LOS T We have been entrusted with the ministry of reconciliation, imploring those straying or lost to be reconciled to God, and pointing them to the cross where they can receive God’s grace.

Purpose: The book of Jonah shows us God’s compassion for the world He created and cares so deeply about. He challenges us as His ambassadors to see if our character reflects His. Setting: Nineveh is the Assyrian capital city. The Assyrians were enemies of the Israelites and were known for their cruelty.

READ JONAH 1– 4

1.

What does God ask of Jonah?

2.

What is Jonah’s response? Where is Jonah fleeing in his disobedience?

PSALM 139:7 Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?

3.

Research the direction and distance of Tarshish and Nineveh from Jonahs’ hometown Gath-hepher (near Nazareth.) What did you find?

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4.

How does God intervene?

5.

What is evident from Jonah’s prayer while inside the fish?

6.

What does God ask of Jonah at the beginning of chapter 3? Does His request sound familiar?

7.

How does Jonah respond?

8.

How do the people of Nineveh respond? How does God respond to them?

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9.

We might expect the story to end after chapter 3. Whom does God continue to engage in chapter 4?

10.

What is Jonah’s response to God’s mercy on the people of Nineveh?

11.

What do we learn about God’s heart toward the Ninevites?

EXODUS 34:6 –7

The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

12.

What does God’s pursuit of Jonah’s heart say about God’s desire for the hearts of His people?

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Day Six UNIT Y IN THE BODY OF CHRI S T READ EPHESIANS 4:1–16

1.

What is Paul calling the church in Ephesus to pursue (v. 1)?

2.

How do verses 2–3 describe this “walk”?

3.

How does Paul, in his repetitive use of “one,” remind us of what unifies believers in Christ?

4.

What is true for every believer according to verse 7?

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5.

What specific roles does Christ give for the equipping of the saints (v. 11)?

6.

What are gifts meant to equip the saints to do (v. 12)? Until when (v. 13)?

Why (v. 14)?

7.

How does verse 15 describe the mature man?

8.

What does a functional church body require? What is the result?

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Day Seven ME NTOR S HIP D I SCUS S ION PR E P 1.

As people confess sin to us and ask for forgiveness, we should be eager to extend it. Our willingness to forgive is evidence that Christ’s forgiveness has transformed our own hearts and that it is our desire that they be reconciled to God. Prayerfully consider and list those whom you might have difficulty forgiving and why?

LUKE 15:7

Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

2.

Are there brothers or sisters in Christ who may have sinned against you and continue to walk in significant, unrepentant sin? If so, develop a plan with your mentor to be an agent of reconciliation.

GAL ATIANS 6:1

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

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3.

Now that bitterness, fear, and shame no longer rule you, are there those outside the body who may have hurt you and need to be offered peace with God through the blood of Christ?

4.

Where are you stuck? Prepare to discuss with your group anyone with whom you are unwilling to make amends, forgive, confront, or share the gospel. Why are you unwilling?

5.

Are there any fears you have in making amends, forgiving, confronting someone’s sin, or sharing the hope of the gospel? Why are you afraid?

How does God speak to our fear?

6.

Are there any relationships that you believe are beyond repair? Why? Spend time in prayer, specifically for those situations.

7.

Are there any other questions or issues you are facing?

BIBLICAL TRUTH: As ambassadors of Christ, we are to be instruments of grace when we confront those who sin against us. We hand offenses over to God and extend eager forgiveness to those who ask for it. In this way, fellowship with God and among His people are preserved.

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Faithful Action JAMES 2:26

For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.

The fullness of life is found in Jesus Christ. As we behold Him, we want to become like Him. We will want to live as He lives and do what He does. Galatians 5:6 tells us, “For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith working through love.” For each person, faith must express itself in action flowing from a regenerate heart that loves Jesus. These are not works to earn God’s love but rather are expressions in response to God’s love.

LOVING GOD (VERTICAL)

Enjoying God and practicing spiritual disciplines so we might know Him and the power of His resurrection Expressions of gratitude — enjoying His gifts and entering into His ministry and church Stoking the flames of gospel-motivated worship — expressions of loving Him with our whole heart, mind, soul and strength both individually and corporately Obedience to His statutes — learning, doing and sharing with others Continued mortification of sin — putting to death these things that rob us of our affections for Him LOVING OTHERS AND SELF (HORIZONTAL)

Making disciples for Christ Reflecting the heart of God and mind of Christ in our city and to the ends of the earth Gospel-empowered ministry and mission Gospel-saturated community Seeking reconciliation when we sin or are sinned against Taking care of your body, the temple of God Asking your Father in heaven for what you need Additionally, your Mentor should help you develop a plan for how you will intentionally continue to maintain these healthy practices after Thrive concludes.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

Forgiving Others STEPS WE’VE BEEN TAKING IN THRIVE: 1. Seeing God rightly – Who God really is, and how He “invades our lives,” rescuing and offering redemption to all. (Vertical) 2. Understanding ourselves – Exposing roots (patterns, lies we believed, vows we made) and choosing to repent, surrendering our wills to our Redeemer.

3. Loving others rightly – In light of all the above, taking steps of faithful action and sharing God’s grace and forgiveness with others. (Horizontal)

MATTHEW 22:34-40

“But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

THE WAY WE ENGAGE _______________________ WITH OTHERS IS INFORMED

BY WHAT TAKES PLACE ______________________ .

We love like God tells us to love, and we live in harmony with others when we follow His commands. When we don’t do it God’s way, we get:  Dissention  Disunity  Dysfunction  Disorder WEEK ELEVEN

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Large Group Teaching Notes

LOVING OTHERS THROUGH FORGIVENESS FORGIVENESS – ______________________ ANOTHER FROM THE PENALTY OF SIN. REMEMBER HOW CHRIST FORGAVE US:  

He has released us from the penalty of our sin, because He paid the penalty for us. He absorbed all of the cost of our sins.

He didn’t put conditions on forgiveness (like we often do).

This is the forgiveness we have received from God, and this is the forgiveness we are called to extend to others.

THE PARABLE OF THE UNFORGIVING SERVANT: MATTHEW 18:23-35

“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

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Large Group Teaching Notes

WHY DO WE FORGIVE? We forgive because we’re ______________________ .

“Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until he has something to forgive.”

- C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Where are you in this process?

It is possible for us to forgive yet not ____________________ the facts.

There are times when it is also wise to remember the sin that was sinned against you. In serious situations—especially with the wisdom and support of trusted believers—forgiveness is still right, but forgetting may not be.

Forgiveness is more about ___________ __________ heart posture before the Lord.

The one who sinned against you doesn’t have to be part of the process for God to begin healing your heart. Forgiveness is something the wronged person chooses as a part of the surrender to God the justice that only belongs to Him. ROMANS 12:19 (referencing Deuteronomy 32:35)

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

A FORK IN THE ROAD: When I … choose resentment

choose forgiveness

… I will increasingly become characterized by … anger and bitterness.

Christ-likeness.

EPHESIANS 4:32

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

FOUR ASPECTS OF FORGIVENESS 1. Forgiveness is canceling a debt owed to you.

2. Forgiveness is removing the control the wrongdoer has over you.

3. Forgiveness is wanting good for the wrongdoer and seeking reconciliation when possible.

4. Forgiveness is both a one-time event and an ongoing process.

MATTHEW 18:21-22

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”  

70 x 7 = 490, but this isn’t the correct math for forgiveness!

Jesus is saying that we are to walk out this ethic of forgiveness continually and forever.

“FRUIT” OF ONGOING FORGIVENESS The following statements are promises you make regarding the incident you are letting go of:   

“I will not dwell on this incident.”

“I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.”

“I will not talk to others about this incident.”

FORGIVENESS IS FOR US, BUT IT’S ALSO __________________ US. When we forgive God’s way, it demonstrates God’s love for His people in a way that the watching world can see.

When others see us execute forgiveness as a radically free gift, absorbing its cost in ourselves, they ask “How-why do you do that?” We can answer, “I couldn’t. The task is beyond my capacity. When I embraced the Gospel, God came into me and I gained His capacity to forgive. It still hurts, but it now hurts like the pain of childbirth, because I know it is a testimony to the new life in me.”

- Brad Hambrick, “Forgiveness, A Lovely Idea”

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Large Group Teaching Notes

Truth From this Week: As ambassadors of Christ, we are to be instruments of grace when we confront those who sin against us. We hand offenses over to God and extend eager forgiveness to those who ask for it. In this way, fellowship with God and amongst His people is preserved.

Blanks: horizontally; vertically; releasing; forgiven; forget; your own; beyond Adapted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Conflict ©2004 by Ken Sande. pp. 156-7 WEEK ELEVEN

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Small Group Notes:

Prayer Requests:

Mentor Meeting Your next Mentor meeting will cover contents from the Day 7 homework a few pages back, as well as anything from today’s lesson and group conversation.

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WE E K T WE LV E

Confession & Amends

Day One DE A LING WITH OUR OWN HE A R T S FIR S T MAT THEW 7:3

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

READ EZEKIEL 14:1–8

1.

The elders of Israel come before the prophet Ezekiel seeking wisdom (v. 1).

What does the Lord want to talk to them about first (vv. 2–4)?

2.

According to verse 5, why does God want to talk to the elders about these things?

3.

We worship what sits uppermost in our affections. When we live for and worship something other than God it is called idolatry. How does the Lord instruct us to deal with our idols?

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4.

What is God most concerned about?

5.

Consider the imagery. Will we see rightly if there is a stumbling block of inequity (idolatry) obstructing our vision? What do you think we will tend to focus on?

6.

How then does idolatry cloud our judgment?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

MAT THEW 7:5

You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

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Day Two MINI S TRY OF R ECONCILIATION READ 2 CORINTHIANS 5:11–21

1.

We tend to fear that which we believe has what we need. Knowing that, what fear drives Paul and his companions?

2.

Why does Paul talk about the fact that he has clean motives and a pure heart?

1 SAMUEL 16:7

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him.

For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.

3.

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What motivation compels them (v. 14)?

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4.

How does the text explain their apparent lack of self-concern?

JOHN 12:25

Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

5.

We tend to make judgments about people based on outward appearance.

How are we no longer to regard people?

6.

How does God describe those who are in Christ according to verse 17?

What is significant about these words?

REVEL ATION 21:5

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

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7.

According to verse 18, what is also true about those who are in Christ?

What is our ministry?

8.

With what message have we been entrusted (v. 19)? For whom are we messengers (v. 20)? What does the message contain (v. 20)?

JOEL 2:12–13

“Yet even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster.

9.

What does it mean to be an ambassador?

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Day Three MOTIVATION OF LOV E READ 1 CORINTHIANS 13

1.

Verses 1–3 list a number of ways we may be gifted spiritually. If we exercise these gifts without love, what does it amount to?

2.

What is love? What is it not? What does it do? What does it not do (vv. 4–7)?

3.

What will never end? What will end?

4.

As we mature, what will we give up?

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2 CORINTHIANS 5:15

He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

5.

How does Paul describe our ability to see in verse 12? What does this verse promise?

6.

Which of the three attributes in verse 13 is the greatest? In what sense is it the greatest?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

1 JOHN 4:19

We love because he first loved us.

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Day Four WA LK IN LOV E READ EPHESIANS 5:1–14

1.

What instruction does verse 1 give? How is a child’s imitation of his or her parents an example of how we should imitate God?

2.

How does Christ’s example show us how to love one another (v. 2)?

3.

What does this not include according to verse 3? What gospel identity do we find with these commands?

4.

What does Paul say has no place among the saints? What should be there instead (v. 4)?

5.

What is true of those who are not changed by the gospel and continue to live out of their sinful nature (v. 5)?

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6.

What “empty words” do you suppose Paul is warning the church about (v. 6)?

7.

What warning does Paul give the church in verse 7?

8.

How does Paul remind the Ephesians of what God has done through the gospel to lead them away from disobedience towards fruitfulness (v. 8)?

MAT THEW 7:21

Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

9.

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How does Paul say we should interact with those who justify these practices (v. 11)?

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Day Five GO A ND B E RECONCILE D READ MATTHEW 5:23–26

1.

What should we do if we remember someone has something against us?

2.

What is the order of priority in these verses?

3.

Is there a sense of urgency?

4.

What does this say about God’s desire for unity within the church?

5.

When we keep “short accounts,” it means we deal with our debts to others (offenses) in a timely manner. Why do you think God calls believers to keep short accounts (v. 25)?

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COLOSSIANS 1:10

So as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him; bearing fruit in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God. READ NUMBERS 5:5 –7

6.

What general principles does this text teach us when we realize our sin against another person?

7.

Though our sins affect others, who are we breaking faith with?

READ LUKE 15:18–19

8.

What posture does the younger son assume as he approached his father?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSES:

LUKE 15:18 –19 “I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you.

I am no longer worthy to be called your son.

Treat me as one of your hired servants.’”

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Day Six MINI S TRY OF R ECONCILIATION – E X A MPLE FROM THE SCRIP TUR E S READ PHILEMON AND WATCH THIS VIDEO:

1.

List elements of this letter that stand out to you.

2.

What would you implement in your own communications toward reconciliation?

3.

How does Paul approach Philemon? Based on his authority, could he have approached him differently (vv. 8–9)?

4.

Who is the minister of reconciliation in this letter? Who is the offending party? Who is the offended party? What evidence of God’s grace would be necessary if these two parties are to be truly reconciled and unified in their hearts?

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Day Seven ME NTOR S HIP D I SCUS S ION PR E P MAT THEW 7:12

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

1.

How does fear prevent you from loving others like Christ?

Give specific examples from your own life (confronting difficult situations, evangelism, etc.).

1 JOHN 4:18

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

2.

Have you ever used your knowledge and intellect as a source of pride to beat people down rather than build them up? Give examples.

1 CORINTHIANS 8:1

“Knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up.

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3.

Describe times when your own idolatry has distorted your judgment in acting according to God’s will.

4.

In Matthew 5:23, the Lord teaches the importance of being reconciled prior to offering our gifts. Describe situations in which you offended someone with whom you need to be reconciled.

5.

Are there people or institutions who you are unwilling to confess to and make restitution? Be specific.

ROMANS 12:18

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

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NUMBERS 5:5 –7

And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to the people of Israel, when a man or woman commits any of the sins that people commit by breaking faith with the LORD, and that person realizes his guilt, he shall confess his sin that he has committed. And he shall make full restitution for his wrong, adding a fifth to it and giving it to him to whom he did the wrong.”

BIBLICAL TRUTH: Relationships break down because of sin. If there were no sin in the world, relationships would work harmoniously, evidenced by love and unity. Division among God’s people provides opportunities to identify sin and purify the body. The gospel of Jesus Christ brings about justice in a way that the law cannot, by inwardly reconciling the very heart of injustice to God. As those forgiven by God, we can humbly approach those affected by our sin and make amends. This change of heart brings glory to God by demonstrating the power of the gospel and reflecting His heart in bringing justice through His reconciled people.

In addition to the section you just completed, you will also discuss the following section with your Mentor this week. Please read over the next few pages as you prepare to meet with your Mentor.

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Seeking Reconciliation The work of reconciliation displays God as a just God who cares and is intent on bringing justice to the oppressed. We arrive at this justice through the reconciliation of our hearts to His through the gospel of grace, which cures what the law cannot. The gospel actually transforms the hearts from which injustice flows.

The light of Christ shines into our hearts. It exposes darkness while providing hope of restoration through the reconciling work of Jesus Christ. He Himself demonstrates the power and possibility of overcoming sin, suffering, and death.

For those of us who are forgiven by God and are now living as His ambassadors, this process allows us to bring light and hope to a dark world from a God who is reconciling all things. We are to use all of our energy and resources to glorify His name. It is an opportunity to testify to the character of God as being both just and merciful in confessing our wrongs with a sincere desire to make things right.

Restitution is often a forgotten component of repentance. A repentant heart in light of God’s grace is willing to forsake worldly costs because of the promise of Christ for all eternity.

WILLINGNESS AND WISDOM We need to be willing to make amends but use wisdom in making them. For example, it might not be wise to make direct amends in dangerous situations. It might not be wise to look up every person you have ever had a sexual experience with and invite them to coffee. It might not be wise to meet with a married person of the opposite sex without their spouse. You might use wisdom and sensitivity in the words you choose and consider your audience in acknowledging your wrongs. It might not be wise to confess sinful thoughts or attitudes to someone who is unaware that you thought of them in that way. It might not be wise to force an amends before a person is willing to receive it. Remember, we are led by the Holy Spirit. He will impress on you who to approach, when to approach, and may even bring some unexpected opportunities to make peace.

The exception, “except when to do so would injure them or others” is often used as a cover up for unwillingness. For example, we should not use this as an excuse to not confess adultery, claiming it would hurt the other party too much. Confession allows true healing to occur rather than covering up the sin that disrupts fellowship. As long as secrets abide, we cannot have true fellowship. In not confessing adultery, a marriage is based in deceit. In confessing situations which include sexual sin, please spare the other person the specific details of sexual sin as that may make healing unnecessarily difficult.

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TEMPLATE FOR CONFESSION Peacemaker Ministries suggests the “7 A’s of Confession,” which we altered slightly:

1. Address those affected 2. Avoid excusing your wrongs or being overly dramatic in an attempt to invoke pity 3. Admit specific attitudes and actions 4. Acknowledge the hurt and express regret for harm caused 5. Accept the consequences and be willing to make restitution 6. Accompanied by altered attitudes and actions 7. Ask for forgiveness Example: “I am grateful that God has granted me this opportunity to speak with you today. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. God has been doing amazing things in my heart. He has both provided me hope and also exposed the depths of my sin. In light of this, I deeply regret how my sinful attitudes and actions have affected you. I am here to ask for your forgiveness. (Explain how you wronged this person.) I regret the harm I have caused you. I know I can’t heal the wounds I have caused, but I serve a God who can. Will you forgive me? What can I do to make it right?”

Often times we already know what we need to do to make it right. If we owe someone money, we may be prepared to pay them with interest. Sometimes we are not in a position to make full restitution at that point but can give something and make arrangements for future payments.

For those of us who have used religion, the Bible, or God as a cover up, it is wise to acknowledge that up front.

CAUTION We can only go as far as God allows us. If making it right is contrary to the will of God in your life, you may not sin against Him to make amends to someone.

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TYPES OF AMENDS

RELATIONAL In rebellion to God’s created order, we have lived for ourselves, and in doing so have used people for our selfish desires. Now reconciled to God, we desire to make amends for harm done through our selfish ambitions.

LEGAL At times this self-seeking has led us not only to rebel against God, but to break laws intended to uphold and safeguard our society. At times this may mean making amends and possibly restitution for harm done.

PROFESSIONAL We may not have been faithful to the responsibilities entrusted to us professionally.

FINANCIAL There may be monetary compensation required to make things right with another party.

RELIGIOUS/SPIRITUAL We may need to confess and ask for forgiveness for misleading someone spiritually.

LIVING A person may not be willing to hear from us, in which case we must demonstrate the gospel’s altering effects in our lives by living faithfully and responsibly.

From your assessments, write those names you believe God may be calling you to address through confession, amends, or wise next steps in the space below. Seek wisdom from your Mentor before pursuing people.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

Confession and Amends MATTHEW 5:23-24

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Obedience to the Spirit’s conviction is part of worship.

ROMANS 12:1 (The Message paraphrase)

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life— and place it before God as an offering.

RECONCILIATION RECONCILIATION – THE ____________________ OR BRINGING TOGETHER OF TWO PARTIES WHICH ARE AT ODDS  Reconciliation restores fellowship, harmony and unity to broken relationships.  Reconciliation is the essence of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

WE ARE TO BE ____________________ OF RECONCILIATION 2 CORINTHIANS 5:17-21 (EMPHASES ADDED)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

ASPECTS OF TRUE RECONCILIATION:

1. Repentance – an authentic change of heart that results in a genuine intent to turn away from the sin that is contributing to the brokenness.

2. Confession 3. Forgiveness Last time we talked about forgiving others who have wronged us. The aspect of reconciliation that we are talking about in this lesson is confession.

CONFESSION CONFESSION – AN ____________________ OF REAL REPENTANCE THAT ACKNOWLEDGES YOUR SIN OR WRONGDOING. ELEMENTS OF GENUINE CONFESSION:

• Goes beyond saying you are sorry.

• Avoids using "if," "but," or "maybe."

• Admits the specific attitudes and actions of the offense (name it and own what you have done).

• Acknowledges the hurt that has been caused.

• Accepts consequences of the sin. | This includes giving the other person time to heal. | Sometimes trust must be earned back after a major breach.

• Requires altering your behavior. | Continuing to repeat similar patterns demonstrates you may not be

truly repentant.

| Remember, you can only change your behavior if you allow God to

change your heart.

WHO DO I CONFESS TO?

1. First to _____________ .

Our sins are primarily against God. (See Psalm 51:4a)

2. Then to ________________ wronged.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

WHY CONFESS?

• God strongly encourages it.

(1 John 1:9; Proverbs 28:13; Psalm 32:5; James 5:16)

• Confession shows a willingness to be humble and a desire to make things right.

• It is a sign that we depend on God’s approval, validation, and justification, rather than the acceptance we get from the positive opinion of others.

Even if there’s a mess on both sides of the street, we’re responsible for ___________ side.

• That’s the part we can actually control!

• If we want to be a redemptive influence, we must start by owning and cleaning up what’s ours.

• There’s no room for comparison. It’s about humility and integrity.

MATTHEW 7:3-5

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

ROADBLOCKS TO A GOOD CONFESSION:

1. Fear (see Proverbs 29:25)

- Worry about rejection, loss of trust, or damaged relationships - Avoidance of discomfort or accountability - Fear of being misunderstood or not forgiven

2. Pride (see Proverbs 11:2)

- Unwillingness to admit wrong - Desire to protect image or reputation - Not wanting to appear weak

3. Bitterness or Self-Righteousness (see Romans 8:1)

- Focusing on the other person’s sin instead of your own - Justifying your behavior because you were also hurt

4. Minimizing or Justifying/Rationalizing Sin (see Proverbs 16:2)

- Saying “it wasn’t that bad” or “you misunderstood me” - Blaming others or circumstances - Using “good intentions” to avoid facing harm done

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Large Group Teaching Notes

Is there another roadblock specific to your own confession?

Sin Inventory:

• Transgression = willful disobedience • Sin = falling short of God's standard • Iniquity = bent or twisted worship Confession alone isn’t the full picture. Where there has been real harm, words must be followed by action. This is where “making amends” comes in.

AMENDS AMENDS – TAKING ACTION TO ________________ THE HARM CAUSED BY SIN It includes confession but adds things like restitution, changed behavior, and rebuilding trust.

Confession admits the wrong; Amends seeks to make it right.

TYPES OF AMENDS:

• Direct Amends (face-to-face conversations or restitution)

e.g.: “I lied to you. I want to own that, apologize, and restore what I’ve damaged.”

• Indirect Amends (when direct contact would cause more harm) e.g.: Writing a letter when a face-to-face conversation would retraumatize someone.

• Living Amends (ongoing change in lifestyle and behavior that shows

growth and commitment to integrity) e.g.: When you should not interact with the person, choosing sobriety, faithfulness, or new habits over time to actively live out a change.

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Large Group Teaching Notes

CHECKING OUR HEART IN LOVING OTHERS WELL In making amends, we pursue God’s ________________ and fight against our ________________ .

Oftentimes we are blind to any poor motives as we attempt to make things better.

Bad Apology “Sorry if you were offended.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Good Confession “I was harsh and impatient with you. I see that now and I’m sorry.”

“Even if I didn’t mean it that way, it hurt you. That matters to me.”

EPHESIANS 4:15

… speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ PROVERBS 19:11

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

RECONCILIATION IS NOT ALWAYS ____________________ Some reasons for this: 1.

Lack of Repentance or Confession on the Other Side - Reconciliation requires participation from both parties.

- If the other person denies wrongdoing, shifts blame, or refuses to engage, full restoration isn't going to be possible (Matthew 18:15-17).

2.

Ongoing Harm or Unsafe Behavior

- If one party continues to be abusive, manipulative, or unsafe, reconciliation may be unwise or dangerous (Proverbs 22:3; Romans 16:17).

3.

Hardness of Heart or Immaturity - One party may be unwilling to forgive, even after a sincere confession and effort to make amends (Hebrews 12:15).

- If one party pursues peace while the other remains stuck in immaturity or self-focus, reconciliation may stall or remain incomplete (Romans 12:18).

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Large Group Teaching Notes

4.

Not Enough Time Has Passed

- Rebuilding trust takes time. Reconciliation may be a future possibility, but not immediate (Proverbs 25:19).

- The relationship may remain in an altered state or feel different while healing occurs.

5.

Circumstantial Barriers - Death - Imprisonment or Legal Restraints (legal consequences or no-contact orders) - Mental or Physical Impairment (e.g., dementia, coma, or other conditions)

Even with humility and effort, reconciliation may not always occur.

But a faithful heart willing to confess and make amends honors God regardless of the outcome.

ROMANS 12:18

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Truth From this Week: Relationships break down because of sin. If there were no sin in the world, relationships would work harmoniously, evidenced by love and unity. Division among God’s people provides opportunities to identify sin and purify the body.

The gospel of Jesus Christ brings about justice in a way that the law cannot by inwardly reconciling the very heart of injustice to God. As those forgiven by God, we can humbly approach those affected by our sin and make amends.

This change of heart brings glory to God by demonstrating the power of the gospel and reflecting His heart in bringing justice through His reconciled people.

Blanks: restoration; ministers; outflow; God; others; our; repair; Spirit; flesh; possible WEEK TWELVE

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Small Group Notes:

Prayer Requests:

Mentor Meeting Your next Mentor meeting will cover contents from the Day 7 homework a few pages back, as well as anything from today’s lesson and group conversation.

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WE E K THIR TE E N

Joyful Living

Post-Thrive Action Plan The following space is yours to create your own action plan in areas where you’ve identified struggles.

1. To choose a topic for your action plan, go back and review your Assessments. Look at the “Gospel Pursuits” sections of each and choose something from what’s listed.

Examples:  Anger and Resentment: O People O Institutions O Spiritual principles  Sexual Immorality: O Pornography  Guilt & Shame: O Self-righteousness O Critical O Unlovable  Fear: O Fear of rejections/loneliness O Fear of the unknown/the future O Fear of conflict/confrontation  Grief: O Loss of a relationship O Death of a loved one 2. What setting or place is especially difficult for you when it comes to this struggle? (Choose real life situations.)

Examples:  When I am alone  Meeting with my supervisor at work  Scrolling through social media  Visiting family 3. What triggers tend to set you off? What tends to keep you stuck/obsessed?

These things can be physical (not being able to sleep at night, being hungry) mental (thinking about things from your past, rehearsing something you did/ said in your mind), or emotional (feeling lonely, depressed, or exhausted).

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4. What people or things might be taking God’s place in your heart?

(Refer to the “What Part of Self Was Threatened” in the each of the assessment sections) Self-esteem – the desire for love, worth, and value Personal relationship – the desire to belong and have

meaningful relationships Material security – the desire to feel materially secure or gain

material wealth Emotional security – the desire or drive for peace of mind and

emotional security Sexual relations/sexuality – sexual desires Ambition – future plans and hopes in any of the previous areas

5. What lies from the enemy continue to have an influence on you?

(Refer back to the “Getting to the Roots” section you already completed.)

6. What actions keep you responding to your (sin, suffering, specific struggle) in a way that impacts your life negatively?

Examples:  Rehearsing the details of conversations from a specific situation in my mind (bitterness)  Not monitoring my inner thought life  Not having internet restrictions on my computer and/or phone  Avoiding being vulnerable with others  Choosing to sweep my feelings under the rug

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7. What actions keep you close to the Lord?

You can choose from the following list and/or add your own ideas below.

Ongoing confession (review individual prayer prompts from

assessments if needed)

- Being completely honest - Talking out loud to a safe person - Telling the full background story in detail - Revealing thoughts, desires, and emotions - Taking enough time to process and pray - Reaching out during the time of need - Turning away from sin

Morning and evening devotions Scripture meditation or memorization Spending time with my close friends Practicing rhythms of Sabbath Serving the needs of others Attending my small group

These actions are your action plan. Work with your Mentor to hold you accountable to taking a further step now that the structure of Thrive is no longer a part of your daily/weekly spiritual commitment. Ask your Mentor and members of your Thrive small group to pray for you in areas of temptation that you’ve identified above.

SHARE THE JOY OF THE LORD! To prepare for our final large group gathering, please reflect on the Thrive process and all of the ways God has been growing you this season. Try to answer all of these for yourself, and please plan to share at least one answer with our Thrive community during our final night together – the Celebration!

1.

The most significant thing God showed me about Himself was …

2. One relationship in my life that God changed during Thrive is …

3. I’m celebrating freedom from …

4. I’m thankful to God for Thrive because …

5. God used my Thrive Group Leader or Mentor to show me …

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Teaching Notes

Please watch this video prior to attending next week's Thrive campus gathering. You will head straight to small groups where you'll discuss this teaching.

Make Disciples: Sharing the Joy of the Lord Joy hasn’t met its completion until it’s been passed on and ________________ .

God Himself is extending an invitation to enter into His __________ .

The God of the universe is extending a personal invitation to join Him in His _____________ .   

Genesis 1:22 – We exist to make much of God. Genesis 3 – The image of God is broken but still present; The purpose is still there, but it’s just changed in direction.

Genesis 12:1-3 – The call to multiply God’s image, name, fame and glory to the ends of the earth.

The Great Commission: MATTHEW 28:18-20

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

The Great Commandment: MARK 12:30

“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”

Gospel in; Gospel out God is saying the joy isn’t meant to stay within us, but to flow out of us.

This is His joy!

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Teaching Notes

HIS MISSION IS OUR MISSION God is literally making His appeal through __________ . 

Be reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5:20)

Because Jesus’ authority is global, His _____________ is global.

Jesus’ _____________ is global.

ACTS 1:8

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

The Spirit will come upon you, and you will be My _____________ .

• Not defenders or avengers • But testifiers, declarers, and sharers THE HOPE OF JESUS CHRIST AND HIS CHURCH Testifying: You could walk out of _____________. You could walk out of the bondage of _____________ that all of us were born into.

God is inviting you to take this story that He’s given you – the story of ___________________ , the story of hope, the story of God who loves you, cares for you, and has demonstrated His love and His care for you in the sending of His Son.

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Teaching Notes 2 CORINTHIANS 5:21

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Truth from Our Final Week in Thrive: Before the foundations of the earth, God chose us, the church, to live as instruments of His grace to a lost and dying world, bearing witness to His wisdom and power through the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is our joy-filled worship to make much of His name.

Empowered by the Holy Spirit, we bring a comprehensive gospel, demonstrated by our deeds and proclaimed by our words with the goal of glorifying God through making disciples for Jesus Christ. In this way, we embody Christ, being His hands and feet here on earth.

This message is the greatest invitation to _________ .

God is extending a generous and genuine invitation to ___________ Him in His work - His work of redemption.

Blanks: shared; joy; work; you; mission; presence; witnesses; shame; slavery; redemption; joy; join WEEK THIRTEEN

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Small Group Notes:

Prayer Requests:

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WE E K FOUR TE E N

Be a Disciple

Day One E NDUR A NCE IN OUR D IFFI CULTIE S MAT THEW 24:10, 12–13

And then many will fall away and betray one another and hate one another … And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.

READ HEBREWS 12:1–16

1.

What are we to actively lay aside (v. 1)? Why? How?

2.

The preceding chapter serves to help us see “a cloud of witnesses” exemplify faith while enduring suffering. Who is the example they followed (v. 2)?

3.

What did Jesus do in despising shame? What motivates Him (v. 2)?

4

What reality do we still struggle with in verse 4?

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JAMES 1:2–4

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

5.

What is true about the one the Lord disciplines (v. 6)?

For what purpose (v. 10)?

6.

What is true about discipline (v. 11)?

7.

In light of this, what are we called to and why (vv. 12–13)?

8.

What should we strive toward according to verse 14?

9.

What are we called to in verses 15 and 16?

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Day Two TRIA L S , TE S TING A ND TE MP TATION READ JAMES 1:1–21

1.

Who is James addressing in verse 1? What is their situation?

2.

How does James say we should consider trials in our life (v. 2)?

3.

God uses trials to test. In what sense does He test (v. 3)?

4.

What is the purpose of this testing and what is the result?

1 PETER 1:7

So that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

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5.

If we lack wisdom when undergoing trials what are we instructed to do?

Why?

6.

How should we view living for worldly wealth and perishing enjoyments (vv. 10–11)?

7.

What man will be blessed going through these trials?

What will they receive (v. 12)?

8.

In trials we are tempted. Who should we not blame when tempted (v. 13)?

Who is responsible when we sin?

HEBREWS 10:36

For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.

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9.

Temptation comes from influence of the enemy and is based on lies.

How are we instructed in verse 16?

10.

The world around us, our feeling, and the cloak of the Deceiver changes.

But what is true of God?

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Day Three THE SUR PA S S ING WOR TH OF K NOWING CHRI S T READ PHILIPPIANS 3:2–21

1.

What warning does Paul give in verse 2?

2.

How does he describe the true circumcision (v. 3)?

3.

Where do those who are not of the true circumcision derive their confidence? What do they point to for their righteousness (v. 4)?

4.

What reasons could Paul give for having confidence in the flesh (self-confidence)?

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5.

What does he count those things? What does he count everything (vv. 7–8)?

Why?

6.

What is of infinite worth (v. 8)?

7.

For what is Paul willing to forsake all his gain in this world (vv. 8–9)?

8.

How does Paul view suffering and hardship (v. 10)?

9.

What is he seeking to attain (v. 11)?

10.

Summarize Paul’s words in verses 12–16.

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11.

What warning does Paul give in verses 17–21? Who or what are they serving and what is the corresponding result?

MAT THEW 7:21 –23

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

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Day Four TR A ININ G A ND D I SCIPLINE S D. A . CARSON HAS SAID: “People do not drift towards holiness. Apart from grace driven effort, people do not gravitate towards godliness, prayer, obedience to scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift towards compromise and call it tolerance; we drift towards disobedience and call it freedom; we drift towards superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch towards prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide towards godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated.”

READ 1 CORINTHIANS 9:24 –27

1.

What do these verses compare our lives to? What instructions are we given (v. 24)?

2.

What is true of athletes in general? Why (v. 25)?

3.

Compare and contrast the prize we seek in our Christian walk versus that in a competitive race (v. 25).

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4.

How do these verses instruct us to run?

5.

What happens if you stop working out and caring for your body physically? How does this physical example provide you insight into practicing spiritual disciplines?

6.

According to verse 27, what may happen if you are not in “good shape” spiritually?

READ MATTHEW 6:1–18

7.

What warning does Jesus give in verse 1, regarding acts of righteousness (some of which are spiritual disciplines)?

8.

What do the hypocrites do? Why do they do it? What is their reward?

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9.

What should we do? What will be our reward (vv. 2-4)?

10.

When you fast, what should you not do? What should you do? (vv. 17-18)

MAT THEW 6:33

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

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Day Five FILLIN G A THIR S T Y SOUL READ PSALM 63

1.

Where is David when he writes this song? How does verse 1 describe this land?

2.

According to verse 1, where does David turn during these difficult circumstances to quench his thirst? How would you describe this pursuit?

What does this reveal about his heart?

DEUTERONOMY 8:2 And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not.

3.

How does David’s orientation in difficulty demonstrate worship?

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4.

How confident is David that he will be satisfied and praise God?

5.

Who is the source of his confidence (v. 2)? Why?

6.

What does David consider better than life (v. 3)?

7.

What does David believe he will find in his pursuits (v. 5)?

DEUTERONOMY 8:3

And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.

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8.

When will David’s soul be satisfied (v. 6)? Why (v. 7)?

ROMANS 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

9.

What is David’s soul doing as God upholds him (v. 8)?

10.

As one who is serving the kingdom, what happens to those who oppose David and seek to destroy his life?

READ EPHESIANS 5:15 –21

11.

The preceding section is a wake-up call to the family of God to walk in love by not participating in unfruitful deeds of darkness but instead live as fruitful children of light. How does verse 15 call us to live? Why (v. 16)?

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12.

What pursuits provide more pleasing fruit to the Lord and for your life? (vv. 19–21)

POINT OF INTEREST: A lifestyle of gospel-centered worship is a life of joyful obedience in response to the immeasurable riches of His grace toward us in Christ.

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Day Six THE SO IL S READ LUKE 8:4 –15

1.

Who is Jesus’ audience for this parable?

2.

After reading verse 10, does it appear Jesus intended for everyone in the crowd to understand His message?

3.

Which soil has the ability to receive God’s word in a way that leads to a fruitful life?

4.

Looking at verses 5–8, describe each of the four types of ground on which the seed falls.

VERSE

GROUND

RESULT

5 6 7 8

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5.

What does Jesus reveal the seed to be?

6.

How does Jesus explain the situation of the seed falling along the path?

What does this represent? What is the result?

7.

How does Jesus explain the situation of the seed falling among the rocks?

What does this represent? What is the result?

8.

How does Jesus explain the situation of the seed falling among the thorns?

What does this represent? What is the result?

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9.

How does Jesus explain the situation of the seed falling on good soil?

What does this represent? What is the result?

GENESIS 1:28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

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Day Seven ME NTOR S HIP D I SCUS S ION PR E P

2 TIMOTHY 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

1. What sin or weight do you need to lay aside in order to run the race well?

2. What trials are you currently facing in your life? What ways are you

tempted to shortcut God’s purposes of sanctification while under trial?

3. What fruit would you expect in your life when you are walking by the Spirit?

How does this express itself in your life with the people and circumstances you encounter (family, coworkers, children, prayer life, etc.)?

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4.

What practices will need to remain in your life after this study is over to maintain spiritual health and continued growth?

5.

With which ground (from Luke 8:5–8) do you most identify? Do you typically disregard God’s call to obedience? Do you become discouraged? Are you distracted? Or does it shape you?

6.

If you were to utilize all that Christ has entrusted to you for His Kingdom purposes, what would change?

MAT THEW 25:23

His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’

7.

When you are thirsting in the wilderness, where does your soul turn for satisfaction? What does this reveal about your heart? Does this lead to fruitfulness in difficulty?

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JEREMIAH 17:7-8

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.

8.

On what do you tend to obsess, fantasize, meditate, or dwell?

Be specific. What is the result (fear, lust, anger, anxiety, depression, worship, praise, joy, etc.)?

9.

What stirs your affections for Christ?

10.

Being undisciplined leads to laziness or apathy. How are you disciplined in daily engaging spiritual disciplines? If you are undisciplined, why?

PROVERBS 24:30 –31

I passed by the field of a sluggard by the vineyard of a man lacking sense and behold, it was all overgrown with thorns; the ground was covered with nettles, and its stone wall was broken down.

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11.

What does a disciplined life look like specifically for you?

12.

What is your goal and motivation in living a disciplined life?

PSALM 63:1

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

13.

Are there things you need to say no to in order to say yes to the Lord? How does keeping Him first in your heart affect how you relate to your spouse, work, family, friends, food, sex, etc.?

BIBLICAL TRUTH: We continue in the fear of the Lord, putting to death those things that rob our affections for Christ while persevering in loving, joyful obedience to Him. When we are out of step with the Spirit, we quickly return to the Lord with a heart of repentance as He trains us in godliness and grows us spiritually.

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PHILIPPIANS 3:10

That I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.

BIBLICAL TRUTH: Since He is our ultimate joy, peace and pleasure, we seek to know Him and fill ourselves with those things that stir our affections for Him. We practice spiritual disciplines so that our hearts, prone to wander, might stay in rhythm with His.

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Teaching Notes

Discipleship: Persevering and Pursuing What does it take to endure or be motived to persevere all the way to the end of the “race?”

The gospel is continuing to create __________ and ___________ within us to continue.

Mortification putting sinful things to

Vivification … leads to …

what fills us up, and/or stirs our affections for Christ

death ROMANS 8:13

For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

JOY JOY – Deep, overwhelming, even painful ______________ and yearning for something near yet unattained, tinged with unwavering _____________ .

Joy is the result of our pursuit of ______________ .

Christian Hedonism: “God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.” - John Piper

COLOSSIANS 3:1-4

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

• We only need Christ.

• We do not need other teachers or mediators in order to be unified with Christ.

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Teaching Notes

______________ with Christ is the foundation of our joy.

UNION WITH CHRIST 1. We’re growing in increasing ___________ -__________________ to Christ.

2. It shapes how we see the world and pursue __________________ .

Christ becomes my treasure.

• Set your minds on things that are above, not earthy/temporal.

• But this is not our tendency …

People do not drift toward Holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord.

We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; we drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; we drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated.” ― D.A. Carson

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Teaching Notes

SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

The ______________ of God ______________ ______________ ______________ ______________

UNION WITH CHRIST (CONTINUED) 3.

We __________________ with a sense of an enduring joy. | In ongoing sanctification (being made more and more like Christ over time) The __________________ is at work to help you persevere.

We are being disciplined, but God’s Spirit is at work within us. | In the face of suffering …

JOHN 16:33

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace.

In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

PERSEVERING THROUGH SUFFERING

1. We must ___________________ our understanding of suffering and trials.

JAMES 1:2-4

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Instead of considering it as punishment or abandonment, these trials make us steadfast. | Trials help us endure. | We can count trials as something producing joy within us – to walk in. | Suffering is a necessary part of the process of persevering.

2. We must see that persevering through suffering is an element that is found in ___________________.

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Teaching Notes PHILIPPIANS 3:8-9

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith There’s this understanding of persevering that I can endure the loss of things, the trial of things, the pain of things, that I might be able to _____________ Him better.

In persevering, for the believer, there is a _________ that comes in knowing and pursuing Him.

Truth From this Week: We continue in the fear of the Lord, putting to death those things that rob our affections for Christ while persevering in loving, joyful obedience to Him. When we are out of step with the Spirit, we quickly return to the Lord with a heart of repentance as He trains us in godliness and grows us spiritually. Since He is our ultimate joy, peace and pleasure, we seek to know Him and fill ourselves with those things that stir our affections for Him. We practice spiritual disciplines so that our hearts, prone to wander, might stay in rhythm with His.

Blanks: joy; faith; longing; hope; Christ; Union; like-mindedness; treasure; Word; Rest; Prayer; Service; Fasting; persevere; Spirit; reshape; Christ; know; joy 446

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WE E K FIF TE E N

Make Disciples

Day One THE G R E AT COMMI S S ION E PHE S IA N S 5 :1 8 READ MATTHEW 28:16 –20

1.

We previously looked at the commissioning of the prophet Isaiah (Isaiah 6).

Why do you think this passage in Matthew 28:16–20 is referred to as the “Great Commission?”

2.

Who told the disciples go to Galilee? Looking back at verse 10, what hope motivates them to go there?

MAT THEW 28:10

Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee, and there they will see me.”

3.

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How do they respond to His appearance (v. 17)?

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4.

What gospel truth does Jesus convey about himself when He appears to the disciples after His resurrection (v. 18)? What does that mean regarding the resources at His disposal? What implication does that have for us as his disciples as he sends us out?

5.

With what gospel imperative does Christ instruct His disciples?

What verbs does he use in commissioning them to do this work?

6.

Jesus says to make disciples by teaching them to obey all His commands.

How is this different from just teaching them all His commands?

7.

Jesus is not just comforting them with words but is demonstrating His authority, even over death. Why might this be important as He sends them into the world (v. 20)?

READ GENESIS 12:1–3

8.

How do the verses in Matthew 28 echo God’s call of Abram?

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9.

How does God’s call to Abram further the mission of Genesis 1:28?

10.

For what purpose is Abram blessed and raised up according to verse 2?

Who is Abram’s blessing to bless according to verse 3?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

EPHESIANS 2:10

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

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Day Two THE CHURCH I S BOR N READ LUKE 24:36–53 AND ACTS 1:1–12.

The book of Acts continues Luke’s gospel account and records the events surrounding the birth of the first century church.

1. What does Jesus open the disciples’ minds to understand at the conclusion of Luke?

2. What does Jesus say should be proclaimed and to whom?

1 JOHN 1:4

And we are writing these things so that our joy may be complete.

3. How does God empower His people to carry out His mission (Acts 1:8)?

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4. Verse 8 serves as an outline for the book of Acts. What does Jesus want His disciples to do with this power?

5. What question do the angels ask those looking into the clouds?

6. What truth do these messengers bring?

7. Why do the disciples travel to Jerusalem?

8. What follows their obedience (see chapter 2)?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE

ACTS 1:8

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.

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Day Three PR E DE S TINE D TO THE PR A I S E OF HI S G LORY READ EPHESIANS 1:3–14

1. What has God done for those in Christ (v. 3)? Why (v. 4)?

When did he choose us (v. 4)?

2. Whom should we praise? What word does Paul use that expresses his affections for Christ (v. 6)? What has He done (v. 5)?

3. What do we have in Him? According to what (v. 7)?

4. What was God’s purpose in making His will known (v. 10)?

5. What have we obtained? According to what? Why (vv. 11-12)?

6. Whom did we receive as a seal, guaranteeing our inheritance (vv. 13–14)?

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Day Four S PIR ITUA L G IF T S ROMANS 12:4 For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function.

For the body of Christ to function properly, the individual members must be exercising their gifts as God arranges His people for His purposes.

READ 1 CORINTHIANS 12:4 –31

1.

Complete the following:

VERSE

VARIETIES OF...

SAME...

4 5 6

2.

For what purpose are these gifts given (v. 7)?

3.

Verses 8–10 give a non-comprehensive list of the gifts. What point is Paul trying to make (v. 11)?

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4.

What metaphor does Paul introduce in verse 12, to help us to see how these variety of gifts are to function with one another?

5.

When we elevate particular gifts, it can keep those who have different gifts from feeling valued or like they belong. What is the danger of us belonging to bodies that only value certain gifts (v. 17)?

6.

How does God unite these different backgrounds (v. 13)?

7.

It would seem that Paul is suggesting that no one in the body of Christ should be neglected. What does he suggest (v. 22–26)?

8.

Perhaps the ranking of activities and gifts is according to potential impact and visibility, but all gifts are necessary for the body to function properly. What gifts appear here that were not included earlier in the chapter?

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9.

What is the more excellent way Paul speaks of in verse 31? (see 1 Corinthians 13:1–13)?

1 CORINTHIANS 13:2

And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

READ MATTHEW 25:14 –30

10.

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What is the point of the parable told by Jesus?

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Day Five POWE R A ND PE R S ECUTION READ ACTS 5:12–33

1.

Why did the Sadducees have the apostles arrested (v. 17)?

2.

What happens while the apostles are in prison? What are they instructed to say?

3.

What is the apostles’ response?

4.

What do the officers find when they went to bring the apostles before the council?

5.

Why did the apostles disobey the council (v. 29)? What is their message (vv. 31–32)?

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1 PETER 3:14 –16

But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.

6.

How did the council respond to the truth according to Acts 5:33?

MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSES

LUKE 21:12–15

But before all this they will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name’s sake. This will be your opportunity to bear witness. Settle it therefore in your minds not to meditate beforehand how to answer, for I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict.

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Day Six INV ITATION INTO THE V INE YA R DS READ MATTHEW 20:1–18

1.

Who is the kingdom of heaven compared to in this parable?

2.

Who typically would you say are selected first in hiring day laborers?

3.

How is the activity of those in the marketplace described in verse 3 and 6?

4.

On what basis do these later workers agree to work?

5.

What do you think is the significance of the marketplace verses the vineyard?

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MAT THEW 6:19 –20

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.

6.

When those who came last are given a full days wage, what do you think their attitude is in receiving it?

7.

What does that reflect about the character of the master?

8.

What is the attitude of those who came first when they received what they had agreed to? Why?

9.

What does this reveal about their belief in terms of why they were invited into the vineyard?

10.

How does this help to explain verse 16?

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Day Seven ME NTOR S HIP D I SCUS S ION PR E P 1.

How has God blessed you so that you might be a blessing to others?

2.

How has God gifted you — both naturally and supernaturally — with spiritual gifts from the Holy Spirit? How will you use those gifts to serve and build up the body of Christ? Be specific.

3.

How will you use the testimony of God’s grace in your life to persuade others toward Christ?

REVEL ATION 12:11

And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.

4.

Where has God placed you to serve? How do you think others would describe your heart in serving?

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5.

God has called us to make disciples. How will you take what you have learned through this discipleship process to make disciples for Christ?

6.

Acts 17 tells us that God places us at the exact time and place where He wants us. How are you living missionally within your community?

7.

How will you continue to practice all that you have learned through this process? Who will keep you accountable?

8.

With what attitude will you engage/re-engage the world around you? How might pride hinder your effectiveness?

9.

The book of Joshua recounts the Lord’s powerful deliverance of the Israelites into the Promised Land. As they step out in faith, He holds back the raging waters of the Jordan River so they might cross to safety. The Israelites are then instructed to pick up stones from the riverbed to remind them of the Lord’s faithfulness. As you have stepped out in faith and walked through this process, how has God demonstrated His faithfulness?

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MAT THEW 5:14 –16

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

EPHESIANS 3:8 –10

To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.

BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM THIS WEEK: Before the foundations of the earth, God chose us, the church, to live as instruments of His grace to a lost and dying world, bearing witness to His wisdom and power through the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is our joy-filled worship to make much of His name. Empowered by the Holy Spirit, we bring a comprehensive gospel demonstrated by our deeds and proclaimed by our words with the goal of glorifying God through making disciples for Jesus Christ. In this way, we embody Christ, being His hands and feet here on earth.

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Appendices

Glossary of Theological Terms Alphabetical (location first introduced or explained)

ABIDE / ABIDING Pre-Thrive Lesson 3 To remain, stay, or continue in close relationship with Jesus. In Scripture, abiding in Christ means depending on Him as the source of life, fruitfulness, and obedience.

Apart from Him, we can do nothing. (John 15:4–5) ADOPTION Week 4 Day 1; Week 7 God’s gracious act of bringing believers into His family through Jesus Christ.

In adoption, we are no longer slaves to sin or strangers to God, but sons and daughters who belong to Him, are loved by Him, and can call Him Father.

(Romans 8:15–17; Galatians 4:4–7; Ephesians 1:5) AMBASSADOR Pre-Thrive Lesson 3; Week 12; Week 15 A representative sent on behalf of another. Christians are ambassadors for Christ because God has entrusted His people with the message of reconciliation through Jesus. (2 Corinthians 5:18–20) ATONEMENT / SACRIFICE Week 2; Week 3; Week 12 The work by which sin is paid for and sinners are made right with God. In the Old Testament, sacrifices pointed to the seriousness of sin and the need for cleansing.

Jesus made full and final atonement by offering Himself as the perfect sacrifice for sin. (Romans 3:23–25; Hebrews 9:11–14; Hebrews 10:11–14; 1 John 2:2) BAPTISM Orientation A public act to show that a person has decided to follow Jesus. They are briefly fully submerged in water as a symbol of being washed clean from sin and starting a new life with God. Baptism doesn’t save a person, but it shows others that the person trusts in Jesus and wants to live for Him. In the Bible, Jesus was baptized, and He told His followers to baptize others who believe in Him (see Matthew 28:19; Romans 6:3-4).

CONDEMNATION Week 4 Day 1; Week 7 God’s righteous judgment against sin. For those who are in Christ, there is now no condemnation because Jesus bore the judgment our sin deserved.

(Romans 8:1; John 3:18) CONFESSION Pre-Thrive Lesson 3; Week 11; Week 12 Honestly agreeing with God about sin. Biblical confession names sin truthfully before God and, when appropriate, before others, without hiding, excusing, minimizing, or shifting blame. (Psalm 32:5; 1 John 1:9; James 5:16) COVENANT Week 1 Day 2; Week 3 Day 6; Week 12 A binding relationship established by God, with promises and responsibilities. In Scripture, God relates to His people by covenant, ultimately fulfilling His promises through Jesus and the new covenant in His blood. (Genesis 17:7; Jeremiah 31:31–34; Luke 22:20)

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CREATOR Orientation; Week 1 Days 1 & 2 God as the One who made all things, rules over all things, and gives everything its purpose. Because God is Creator, all creation belongs to Him and is accountable to Him. (Genesis 1:1; Psalm 24:1; Revelation 4:11) DOMINION / STEWARDSHIP Week 1 Day 1 The responsibility God gave mankind to rule over creation under His authority.

Biblical dominion is not selfish control, but faithful care for what belongs to God. (Genesis 1:26–28; Psalm 8:6) FAITH Week 3 Days 1 & 7; Week 4 Trusting God and relying on what He has revealed, especially His promises fulfilled in Jesus Christ. Faith receives Christ and responds to Him in surrender and obedience. (Ephesians 2:8–9; Hebrews 11:1) FLESH Week 1 Day 4; Week 3; Week 4 Day 1 In Scripture, “flesh” can refer to human weakness, but often describes our sinful nature or desires apart from the Spirit of God. The flesh opposes the Spirit and produces thoughts, desires, and actions contrary to God. (Romans 8:5–8; Galatians 5:16–21) FORGIVENESS Week 11; Week 12 Forgiveness is releasing another person from the debt they owe because of sin or harm done. Biblical forgiveness is rooted in God’s forgiveness of us in Christ and frees us from vengeance, bitterness, and self-appointed judgment. (Matthew 6:12; Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13) GLORIFICATION / FUTURE GLORY Week 4 Day 1; Week 8 The final stage of salvation when God fully completes His work in His people.

Believers will be raised, made like Christ, freed from sin and suffering, and brought into everlasting life with God. (Romans 8:18–30; 1 Corinthians 15:42–49) GOSPEL Orientation; Week 2; Week 3 The good news of what God has done through Jesus Christ to rescue sinners and restore them to Himself. The gospel centers on Jesus’ life, death, resurrection, and reign, and calls us to respond with faith and repentance. (Mark 1:14–15; 1 Corinthians 15:3–4; Romans 1:16) GRACE Orientation; Week 3; Week 4; Week 7; Week 11 God’s undeserved favor and kindness toward sinners. Grace is not earned by our obedience or performance; it is freely given through Jesus Christ.

(Ephesians 2:8–9; Titus 2:11–14) GREAT COMMISSION, THE Orientation; Week 15 The instructions Jesus gave to His followers after He rose from the dead and before He returned to heaven. In Matthew 28:18-20, Jesus tells His disciples to go into the world, help others become His followers (called “disciples”), baptize them, and teach them to obey everything He taught. This mission wasn’t just for those first disciples—it’s a calling for all Christians today. The Great Commission reminds us that Jesus has all authority and that He promises to be with us as we share His message with others.

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HEIR / INHERITANCE Pre-Thrive Lesson 3; Week 4 Day 1 An heir is someone who receives an inheritance because they belong to a family.

Believers are heirs of God because, through Christ, we have been adopted as His sons and now share in the promises, blessings, and future glory that belong to Christ. This inheritance is received by grace, not earned by performance. (Romans 8:16–17; Galatians 4:4–7; Ephesians 1:11–14; 1 Peter 1:3–4) IDOLATRY Pre-Thrive Lesson 2; Week 1 Day 4; Week 9 Worshiping or serving anything in the place of God. Idolatry is not limited to bowing before images; it includes giving ultimate trust, love, fear, obedience, or desire to created things rather than the Creator. (Romans 1:21–25; Colossians 3:5; 1 John 5:21) IMAGE OF GOD / IMAGE BEARER Week 1 Day 1 The unique dignity and calling given to human beings, male and female, to reflect God’s character, represent His rule, and live in relationship with Him. Though sin distorts us, every person still bears God’s image and has God-given worth. (Genesis 1:26–28; James 3:9) INIQUITY Week 11; Week 12 Sin described as bentness, corruption, or twistedness before God. Iniquity highlights not only wrong actions, but the distorted desires and worship beneath them.

(Psalm 51:2; Isaiah 53:5–6) JUSTIFICATION Week 3 Day 7; Week 4; Week 6; Week 12 God’s gracious declaration that sinners are righteous in His sight through faith in Jesus Christ. Justification is not based on our works, but on Christ’s righteousness given to us and received by faith. (Romans 3:23–26; Romans 5:1; Galatians 2:16) LAMB OF GOD Week 2; Week 3 A title for Jesus that shows He is the innocent sacrifice who takes away the sin of the world. The phrase connects Jesus’ death to the Passover lamb and the sacrificial system. (John 1:29; 1 Peter 1:18–19) MERCY Week 3; Week 11 God’s compassionate kindness toward the needy, guilty, and suffering. In mercy, God does not treat His people as their sins deserve but moves toward them with help and forgiveness. (Psalm 103:8–12; Titus 3:4–5) MORTIFICATION Week 4 Day 1; Week 13 The Spirit-empowered practice of putting sin to death. It means turning away from desires, thoughts, and actions that rob our affections for Christ and hinder obedience to Him. (Romans 8:13; Colossians 3:5) REBIRTH / REGENERATION Week 3 Day 7; Week 4 The new spiritual life God gives by His Spirit. To be born again means God has made a person alive in Christ and given them a new heart that can respond to Him. (John 3:3–8; Titus 3:5)

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RECONCILED / RECONCILIATION

Orientation; Week 2; Week 11; Week 12

With God: To be “reconciled” means that a broken relationship has been made right again. In the Bible, reconciliation describes how the relationship between God and people—damaged because of sin—is restored. This restoration begins with God. He took the first step by sending Jesus as a perfect sacrifice to die in our place so that we could be forgiven and brought back into relationship with our loving Father (see Romans 5:10-11; 2 Corinthians 5:18-19). When someone responds to God’s offer by trusting in Jesus, the reconciliation is complete—they are no longer separated from God but are part of His family. Because of this, Christians are also called to pursue peace and restored relationships with others.

Between People: When two people are reconciled, it means their relationship— once hurt or broken—has been made right again. This usually involves one or both people being willing to forgive, to admit wrong, and to work toward restoring trust.

In the Bible, reconciliation between people reflects God’s heart: just as He took the first step to make things right with us through Jesus, we’re called to take steps toward peace with others (see Matthew 5:23–24; Colossians 3:13). Reconciliation doesn’t always mean the relationship goes back to exactly how it was, but it does mean choosing to forgive, pursue peace, and honor God in how we relate to one another.

REDEMPTION / REDEEMER Orientation; Week 2; Week 4 Day 1; Week 7 Redemption is God’s act of rescuing His people from slavery to sin and bringing them to Himself through the work of Christ. Jesus is our Redeemer because He purchased our freedom by His blood. (Ephesians 1:7; Colossians 1:13–14; 1 Peter 1:18–19) REPENTANCE Orientation; Week 3 Days 1 & 7; Week 9; Week 11; Week 12 A Spirit-enabled turning from sin and self-rule back to God. True repentance includes grief over sin, confession, a changed direction, and renewed trust in God’s mercy. (Joel 2:12–13; Acts 3:19; 2 Corinthians 7:10) RESTITUTION Week 12 Seeking to repair or repay what has been damaged or taken when possible.

Restitution does not earn forgiveness, but it can be a fruit of repentance and a way to love others rightly. (Numbers 5:6–7; Luke 19:8–9) SABBATH Week 1 Day 1 A God-given pattern of rest rooted in creation. Sabbath reminds us that God is Creator, Provider, and Lord, and that we are not sustained by endless work but by Him. (Genesis 2:2–3; Mark 2:27) SANCTIFICATION Pre-Thrive Lesson 2; Week 4; Week 13 God’s ongoing work of making His people holy. In sanctification, believers grow to become more like Christ as the Spirit changes our desires, thoughts, words, and actions. (Romans 6:22; 2 Corinthians 3:18; 1 Thessalonians 4:3)

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SIN Orientation; Week 1 Days 4 & 5; Week 3; Week 7; Week 12 Sin is anything we think, say, or do that goes against God’s perfect character, commands, or design. It includes breaking God’s laws, but also failing to do what is right. Sin separates people from God because He is holy and cannot ignore evil. All people have sinned and need the forgiveness and rescue that only Jesus provides.

(Romans 3:23; James 4:17; 1 John 3:4) TEMPTATION Week 1 Day 4; Week 3 The enticement to distrust God and seek life, satisfaction, protection, or wisdom apart from Him. Temptation often presents sin as desirable while hiding its rebellion and consequences. (Genesis 3:1–6; James 1:14–15) TRANSGRESSION Week 11; Week 12 Willful disobedience against God’s command. A transgression is crossing a boundary God has set. (Psalm 51:1; Romans 4:7) VIVIFICATION Week 4 Day 1; Week 13 The Spirit-empowered practice of living in newness of life. It means turning toward what strengthens love for Christ, grows obedience, and reflects His character.

(Romans 6:4; Galatians 5:22–25)

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Additional Resource FE E LING S WHE E L FOR THRIV E Scripture gives us a faithful pattern for bringing our whole heart before the Lord.

God’s people cry out, grieve, confess, rejoice, question, remember, and hope in Him. (Psalm 13; Psalm 42; Psalm 62:8) This tool helps us move from vague emotional language (i.e.: “I’m fine,” “I’m upset,” “I’m sad”) toward more helpful and specific words. Emotions are not the final authority, but they do matter. They often reveal what we love, fear, desire, grieve, believe, or are trying to protect.

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D se d

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Start in the center with a broad emotion, then move outward to better name what you are experiencing. You may use this wheel while completing assessments, preparing to share your story, processing a painful memory, identifying root patterns, or preparing for a Mentor conversation.

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Appendix A THRIV E FOR R ECOV E RY Here are some additional points to consider when applying what you’re hearing about Thrive to the pathway of recovery.

We are all in recovery.

Gospel ministry is directed toward anyone seeking help in overcoming the otherwise enslaving interplay of sin and suffering. Thrive is for anyone pursuing redemption from this sin and suffering.

Another word for this journey of ups and downs on the road of life is sanctification.

If you were to chart out anyone’s spiritual journey, you might find a chart that looks something like the below example. We are overall moving up and to the right, but we face stumbling blocks, plateaus, and victories along life’s journey. While not smooth, these opportunities can lead us to worship God in our responses.

Heaven!

[Finally fully sanctified]

My Holiness

ON

I AT IC

F

APPLY TRUTH: PUT OFF OLD

AGAIN

AND AGAIN

S

S

ES

R OG

E IV

I CT AN

PR

AND AGAIN ...

Read Romans 6!

“SLIP UP”

POINT OF CONFESSION (ALIVE IN CHRIST) DEAD IN SIN

My Lifetime

Recovery cannot be reduced to a program.

God’s redeeming work is not confined to a program. To reduce God’s deliverance to a program is sectarian and borders on cultish. This sort of thinking leads people to fear leaving programs. There are those who are being delivered from the bondage of sin in Christ and those who remain in their sin. So we are either enslaved or in Christ.

In Christ, we can go anywhere He calls us! We graduate from programs into faithful service.

Sobriety is a by-product.

Sobriety is not the goal, but a by-product. Reconciliation with God is the goal. Only the gospel can reconcile us to God. As our hearts are reconciled to His, it changes how we relate to everything.

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R E DE E ME D TRUTH S FROM THE TR A D ITIONA L 1 2 S TE PS R ECOV E RY PROG R A M STEP 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 1: Man, in relationship to his Creator, has fallen from a place of dignity, humility and dependence to a state of depravity, pride and rebellion. This has led to unfathomable suffering. Any attempts on our own to redeem ourselves are futile, only increasing the problem of independence and self-sufficiency. Any perceived success leads only to empty vanity. Apart from Christ, we admitted we are powerless to overcome sin (ours and others) and our attempts to control it only increase our chaos.

STEP 2 : We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 2 : God lovingly intervened into our chaos and provided a remedy for the insanity of sin and the way back into fellowship with Him. We believe that by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, we can be redeemed.

STEP 3: We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as you understand him.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 3: Through the Holy Spirit’s illumination of our desperate and helpless condition before God and the hope that comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ, we step out in faith and repent as an act of worship and obedience, surrendering our will and entrusting our lives to Christ’s care and control. We are reborn spiritually and rescued from the domain of darkness and brought into the kingdom of light, where we now live as a part of Christ’s ever advancing kingdom.

STEP 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 4: As children of God, armed with the Holy Spirit and standing firm in the gospel, we engage in the spiritual battle over the reign and rule of our hearts. God set us apart for holiness, and we look to put to death the areas of our lives that keep us from reflecting Jesus Christ to a dark and dying world. We first examine the fruit in our lives (or moral symptoms).

As we move through the assessment process, we will uncover the roots (pride and idolatry) of any ungodly fruit that drive our ungodly thoughts, actions and emotions.

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STEP 5: We admitted before God, ourselves and another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 5: Under the covering of God’s grace, we step out in faith, leaving behind our old, self-protective ways of covering sin and hiding from God. We prayerfully come into the light, confessing our sins before God and to one another so that we may be healed.

STEP 6: We are entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEPS 6: In attempting to live independent of God, we have developed dysfunctional (sinful) patterns of coping. After careful examination, we have begun to see the demonic roots of our slavery to these sinful patterns. We desire freedom.

STEP 7: We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEPS 7: We renounce our former ways, offer ourselves to God and, under the waterfall of His grace, ask Him to deliver and heal us by the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. We also pray for blessing and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live life according to His kingdom purposes.

STEP 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

STEP 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEPS 8 & 9: Relationships break down because of sin. If there were no sin in the world, relationships would work harmoniously, evidenced by love and unity. Division among God’s people provides opportunities to identify sin and purify the body. The gospel of Jesus Christ brings about justice in a way that the law cannot by inwardly reconciling the very heart of injustice to God. As those forgiven by God, we can humbly approach those affected by our sin and make amends. This change of heart brings glory to God by demonstrating the power of the gospel and reflecting His heart in bringing justice through His reconciled people.

ADDITIONAL TRUTH FROM STEPS 8 & 9: As ambassadors of Christ, we are to be instruments of grace when we confront those who sin against us. We hand offenses over to God and extend eager forgiveness to those who ask for it. In this way fellowship, with God and among His people, is preserved.

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STEP 10: We continued to take personal assessment and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 10: We continue in the fear of the Lord, putting to death those things that rob our affections for Christ while persevering in loving, joyful obedience to Him. When we are out of step with the Spirit, we quickly return to the Lord with a heart of repentance as He trains us in godliness and grows us spiritually.

STEP 11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for the knowledge of His will and the power to carry that out.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 11: Since He is our ultimate joy, peace and pleasure, we seek to know Him and fill ourselves with those things that stir our affections for Him. We practice spiritual disciplines so that our hearts, prone to wander, might stay in rhythm with His. STEP 12 : Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEPS 12 : Before the foundations of the earth, God chose us, the church, to live as instruments of His grace to a lost and dying world, bearing witness to His wisdom and power through the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is our joy-filled worship to make much of His name.

Empowered by the Holy Spirit, we bring a comprehensive gospel demonstrated by our deeds and proclaimed by our words with the goal of glorifying God through making disciples for Jesus Christ. In this way, we embody Christ, being His hands and feet here on earth.

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Appendix B CONCE P T OF GOD WORK S HE E T INSTRUCTIONS: • Read the following statements and write down your initial thoughts.

• We are looking for true feelings about God, not theologically correct answers.

• Your first thought is probably your most honest response.

PROMPTS: 1.

When I think about God, I feel

2.

Sometimes I wish God would

3.

What frustrates me most about God is

4.

Sometimes I get angry with God when

5.

The one thing I would change in my relationship with God is

6.

The one thing I would change about myself to please God is

7.

The secret thought about God that I struggle with is

8.

The one question about God that I would like to have answered is

9.

One person who reminds me of God is

10.

The one thing I have the most trouble trusting God with is

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11.

I would like to tell everyone that God is

12.

When I think about God’s commands, I

13.

One thing I’m afraid God will do is

14.

In my relationship with God, I’m always sure that He will

15.

The one thing I depend on God for is

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Appendix C IN SA NIT Y C YCLE SPIRITUAL ILLNESS

(Irritability, Restlessness, Discontentment, No Peace) ROMANS 5:12

Addiction

ROMANS 1:24,26,28

God

Resolutions

Desire for Relief GALATIANS 5:19-21

GO

SP

EL

Remorse

2 CORINTHIANS 7:10

Temptation

2 CORINTHIANS 4:6 PSALM 51:4,10,17 EZEKIEL 36:26

1 CORINTHIANS 10:13-14

Christ Think/Obsess

Injuries (Pain)

Death

ROMANS 8:5-6

Spree

LUKE 15:13-14

Action

The Lie ROMANS 1:25

SEEING THE INSANITY FOR WHAT IT IS SPIRITUAL ILLNESS – A disease (dis-ease) or disorder. I am irritable, restless and discontent. I need to change the way I feel. I’m edgy. Something’s off. I need something. I’m fearful, discouraged, walking in the flesh, grumbling, complaining, offended, etc.

What is yours? Irritability, restlessness, discontentment, anxiety, sadness, grief, no peace?

DESIRE FOR RELIEF – With a bent towards solving my own problems (heart of self-reliance), I run to creation for ease and comfort instead of the Creator. As the famous hymn “Come Thou Fount” says, my heart is “prone to wander,” to be led away toward sin. I don’t want to feel this way. (Who likes feeling this way?)

Where are you seeking relief apart from the Lord? These may include “respectable” things such as exercise, rest, food, etc.)

TEMPTATION – I compare, seeing others enjoying themselves or able to do the things I can’t do. I think [this] will take the edge off – things will be better when I _________ . The “forbidden fruit” (Genesis 2:17) is alluring and shiny. I am convinced this is the remedy (I’m seeking a dopamine rush.)

What is tempting you?

THINK / OBSESS – Planning, plotting toward the desired relief that is to come. I might start obsessing about a fix for my restlessness and discontentedness.

What are some indicators you are dwelling or obsessing?

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ACTION – Making or canceling plans. Making mental excuses to be alone with my sin. This could include getting in the car, going to the store or opening the internet browser, making a purchase, etc. I am sinfully finding relief in creation apart from the Creator.

AA would call this “the first drink.”

What do you do to get the relief you’re after?

SPREE – An all-out effort and indulgence – temporarily forgetting everything else. It’s the next high, hit, purchase, game, risk, etc. It’s short-lived, even though it may sound like it will last a long time.

What does it look like when you indulge fully in your sin? What does “all the way” look like for you in this area? (Where does it take you? Where do you end up?)

INJURIES (PAIN) – Consequences for me and others (i.e. emotional health, loss of self-control, self-esteem; personal relationships, family; physical health, bodily harm, treatment center intervention; legal, jail time, permanent record impact; financial; professional, loss of job or independence in transportation, etc.) Ultimately, unrepentant, unconfessed sin blocks me from a relationship with my Savior (spiritual death), robbing us of the life that God intended.

What type of consequences result? (For me and others.)

REMORSE – This often show up as feelings of guilt, shame, and humiliation. We are either stuck in worldly sorrow or turn toward godly repentance.

In what ways do you experience sorrow? Do you want God or your comfort back?

RESOLUTIONS – Making promises and deals. Saying “I will never do this again.” Making vows to God, self, and others. These are made in your own strength, not the Lord’s.

What promises are you making about what you will do (or not do) next time?

INTERRUPTING THE INSANITY

1. What lies am I believing?

2. Where can I find the truth?

3. How does Satan bait my hook when I am restless, irritable or discontent?

4. When I am not turning to God, where do I turn to cope with life?

5. It’s logical to start at 12 o’clock (i.e. “Spiritual Illness”), but God can enter into your cycle of sinful insanity at any place. Go back through your other answers in the first part and imagine “what if” you called out to God for help at each spot. What would that look like? For example, if you recognize that you are desiring relief, then start there. Try to articulate what is going in regard to your spiritual illness.

6. With each phase, consider what it would look like to turn to God (repentance). Do

passages from Scripture apply? (For example: Romans 8:6, 2 Corinthians 10:5, and Philippians 4:8-9 would all be helpful for “Think/Obsess.”)

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Appendix D THE AT TRIBUTE S OF GOD ATTENTIVE

GRACIOUS

God hears and responds to the needs of His Children. (Psalm 34:15; 1 Peter 3:12; 1 John

God gives favor that is undeserved. (Exodus

5:14–15) COMPASSIONATE

God cares for His children and acts on their behalf. (Psalm 103:13; Lamentations 3:22–23; 2 Corinthians 1:3) CREATOR

God made everything. He is uncreated.

(Genesis 1:1; Psalm 90:2; Colossians 1:16–17; Revelation 4:11) DELIVERER

God rescues and saves His children. (Psalm 18:2; Colossians 1:13; 2 Timothy 4:18) ETERNAL

God is not limited by time; He exists outside of time. (Psalm 90:2; Isaiah 57:15; 1 Timothy 1:17) FAITHFUL

God always keeps His promises.

(Deuteronomy 7:9; Lamentations 3:23; 2 Timothy 2:13) GENEROUS

34:6; Ephesians 2:8; Romans 3:24) HOLY

God is perfect, pure and without sin. (Isaiah 6:3; Leviticus 19:2; 1 John 1:5) IMMUTABLE/UNCHANGING

God never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. (Malachi 3:6; Numbers 23:19; Hebrews 13:8) INCOMPREHENSIBLE

God is beyond our understanding. We can comprehend Him in part but not in whole.

(Job 11:7–9; Isaiah 55:8–9; Romans 11:33) INFINITE

God has no limits in His person or on His power. (1 Kings 8:27; Psalm 147:5; Jeremiah 23:24) JEALOUS

God will not share His glory with another.

All glory rightfully belongs to Him. (Exodus 34:14; Isaiah 42:8; Deuteronomy 4:24) JUST

God gives what is best and beyond what is deserved. (James 1:5; Matthew 7:11; Romans 8:32)

God is fair in all His actions and judgments. He cannot over-punish or under-punish. (Deuteronomy 32:4; Genesis 18:25; Romans 3:26)

GLORIOUS

LOVING

God displays His greatness and worth.

(Exodus 33:18–19; Psalm 19:1; Revelation 21:23) GOOD

God is what is best and gives what is best.

He is incapable of doing harm. (Psalm 119:68; James 1:13–17; Deuteronomy 32:4)

God feels and displays infinite, covenantal affection toward His children. His love for them does not depend on their worth, response or merit. (1 John 4:8–10; Romans 5:8; Ephesians 2:4–5) MERCIFUL

God does not give His children the punishment they deserve. (Psalm 103:8–12; Ephesians 2:4–5; Titus 3:5) 481

OMNIPOTENT/ALMIGHTY

TRANSCENDENT

God holds all power. Nothing is too hard for God. What He wills He can accomplish.

(Genesis 17:1; Jeremiah 32:17; Matthew 19:26; Revelation 19:6)

God is not like humans. He is infinitely higher in being and action. (Isaiah 40:22; Isaiah 55:8–9; 1 Kings 8:27)

OMNIPRESENT

Whatever God speaks or does is truth and reality. (Numbers 23:19; Titus 1:2; John 17:17)

God is fully present everywhere. (Psalm 139:7–10; Jeremiah 23:23–24) OMNISCIENT

God knows everything, past, present and future–all potential and real outcomes, all things micro and macro. (Psalm 147:5; Hebrews 4:13; 1 John 3:20; Isaiah 46:9–10)

TRUTHFUL

WORTHY

God deserves all glory and honor and praise. (Revelation 4:11; 1 Chronicles 16:25; Psalm 96:4) WRATHFUL

PATIENT/LONG-SUFFERING

God hates all unrighteousness. (Romans 1:18; Nahum 1:2–3; John 3:36)

God is untiring and bears with His children.

Exodus 34:6; Romans 2:4; 2 Peter 3:9

WISE

PROVIDER

God meets the needs of His children.

(Genesis 22:14; Matthew 6:31–33; Philippians 4:19) REFUGE

God is a place of safety and protection for His children. (Psalm 46:1; Psalm 91:2; Proverbs 18:10) RIGHTEOUS

God is always good and right. (Psalm 11:7; Ezra 9:15; 2 Timothy 4:8) SELF-EXISTENT

God depends on nothing and no one to give Him life or existence. (Exodus 3:14; John 5:26; Acts 17:24–25) SELF-SUFFICIENT

God is not vulnerable. He has no needs.

(Acts 17:25; Job 41:11; Psalm 50:12) SOVEREIGN

God does everything according to His plan and pleasure. He controls all things. (Psalm 115:3; Daniel 4:35; Ephesians 1:11)

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God knows what is best and acts accordingly. He cannot choose wrongly.

(Romans 11:33; Jude 25; Proverbs 3:19)

Appendix E OUR IDE NTIT Y Identity in Christ Matthew 5:13............................................... I am the salt of the earth.

Matthew 5:14............................................... I am the light of the world.

John 1:12.......................................................... I am a child of God. John 15............................................................ I am part of the true vine, a branch of Christ’s life.

John 15:15....................................................... I am a friend of God. John 15:16....................................................... I am chosen and appointed to bear fruit.

Romans 6:5.................................................. I am resurrected to new life.

Romans 6:18................................................ I am a slave to righteousness.

Romans 6:22............................................... I am enslaved to God. Romans 8:14................................................ I am a son of God. Romans 8:17................................................ I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing his inheritance.

1 Corinthians 6:19...................................... I am the dwelling place of God. 1 Corinthians 6:19...................................... I am united to the Lord.

1 Corinthians 12:27.................................... I am a member of Christ’s body.

1 Corinthians 15:10..................................... I am what I am, by God’s grace.

2 Corinthians 5:17...................................... I am a new creation.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19............................... I am reconciled to God. Galatians 3:29............................................ I am the seed of Abraham.

Galatians 4:6-7.......................................... I am an heir of God since I am a son of God. Ephesians 1:1................................................ I am a saint.

Ephesians 1:3............................................... I am blessed with every spiritual blessing.

Ephesians 2:10............................................ I am God’s workmanship, made to do good works.

Ephesians 2:11............................................. I am a fellow citizen of God’s family.

Ephesians 4:1............................................... I am a prisoner of Christ.

Ephesians 4:24........................................... I am righteous and holy.

Philippians 3:20......................................... I am a citizen of heaven.

Colossians 3:3............................................. I am hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:4............................................. I am an expression of the life of Christ.

Colossians 3:12............................................ I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved.

1 Thessalonians 5:5.................................. I am a child of light and not darkness.

Titus 3:7........................................................... I am an heir to eternal life.

Hebrews 3:1.................................................. I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling.

1 Peter 2:5...................................................... I am a living stone in God’s spiritual house.

1 Peter 2:9...................................................... I am a member of a chosen race, a holy nation.

1 Peter 2:9-10............................................... I am a priest.

1 Peter 2:11...................................................... I am an alien and a stranger to the world.

1 Peter 5:8...................................................... I am an enemy of the Devil.

2 Peter 1:3...................................................... I am participating in the divine nature.

1 John 5:18..................................................... I am born of God, and the Devil cannot touch me.

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Identity Apart from Christ Genesis 6:5................................................... I am wicked and evil.

Isaiah 59:2..................................................... I am separated from God. Isaiah 64:6.................................................... I am filthy and stained.

John 8:34....................................................... I am a slave to sin.

Romans 1:18................................................. I am under the wrath of God. Romans 3:10................................................ I am not good.

Romans 3:23................................................ I am falling short of the glory of God. Romans 6:23............................................... I am guilty and condemned.

2 Corinthians 4:4....................................... I am blind to the truth.

2 Corinthians 11:3...................................... I am deceived.

Ephesians 2:1............................................... I am dead in my sins.

Ephesians 2:2.............................................. I am in bondage to Satan.

Ephesians 4:18............................................ I am hard-hearted.

James 2:10.................................................... I am a lawbreaker.

James 4:4...................................................... I am an enemy of God.

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Appendix F GOD ’ S PROMI S E S TO A B E LIE V E R Matthew 6:25-30...................................... God will provide for your needs.

Matthew 11:28-30...................................... Rest in Christ.

Matthew 21:22............................................ Ask in His name, and you will receive.

Matthew 24:9-14....................................... Persecution is coming.

Matthew 26:29........................................... He is waiting to eat with you.

Matthew 28:20........................................... He is with us always, to the end of age.

Mark 16:16...................................................... Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved.

Luke 12:27-34............................................... He knows what you need; seek His kingdom, and ............................................................................ what you need will be provided.

John 14:1-4.................................................... Jesus is preparing a place for you.

John 14:13-14................................................ Ask in Jesus’ name, and He will do it so that the Father can be glorified in the Son. John 14:27...................................................... He gives us His peace.

John 15:7-8.................................................... If you remain in Him, ask whatever you want.

John 15:5........................................................ If you remain in Christ, you will produce fruit.

John 16:13-15................................................. The Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth.

John 16:23-24.............................................. Ask the Father in Jesus’ name, and it will be given so that your joy may be full.

Acts 1:8............................................................ You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes.

Acts 2:38-39................................................. The promise is for you, the believer.

Romans 6:14................................................ Sin will not rule over you.

Romans 8:27............................................... The Holy Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:34............................................... Jesus is at the right hand of the Father interceding for you.

Romans 8:39............................................... Nothing will have the power to separate you from the love of God in Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 1:8......................................... He will strengthen you till the end.

1 Corinthians 2:13....................................... The Holy Spirit will teach you.

1 Corinthians 2:16...................................... You have been given the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 10:13..................................... God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able (in His Spirit), and He will provide a way out.

1 Corinthians 15:52-57............................. You will be raised into an incorruptible immortal body at the resurrection of the dead.

2 Corinthians 3:18...................................... You are being transformed into the image of Christ.

Philippians 1:6............................................. He who started a good work in you will complete it.

Philippians 3:21.......................................... He will transform the body of our humble condition into the likeness of His glorious body.

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Philippians 4:7............................................ The peace of God will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ.

1 Thessalonians 5:24............................... God is faithful; He will renew you, body, soul and spirit.

2 Thessalonians 3:3................................. The Lord is faithful and will strengthen and guard you from the Evil One. Titus 3: 6-7..................................................... He has abundantly poured out His Spirit on us through Jesus, and we are heirs to the hope of eternal life.

Hebrews 7:25............................................... He is able to save all who come to Him, and He always intercedes for them.

Hebrews 8:8-12........................................... God will never again remember your sins.

Hebrews 10:16-17....................................... In the new covenant God will never again remember your sins or your lawless acts.

Hebrews 13:5................................................ God will never leave or forsake you.

1 Peter 1:3-5................................................... Inheritance is imperishable, undefiled, uncorrupted, unfading, kept in heaven for you.

1 Peter 2:10.................................................... You are now a part of God’s people.

Revelation 21:1-7........................................ God will dwell with us and wipe away every tear, and death will no longer exist.

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Appendix G WRITING YOUR OWN L A ME NT INTRODUCTION & INSTRUCTIONS Psalms of lament are expressions of the trials, suffering, and emotions of life. They are examples on how to communicate with God during times of hurt. It is important to note, however, that the Psalms of Lament usually lead to praise in the end and also contain a confession of trust.1 This worksheet is an exercise for you to begin to write your own personal psalm of lament to cry out to God in your situation.

You may prefer to get out a journal, a clean sheet of paper, or a blank computer screen and begin to follow the following format, pouring your heart before the Lord.

Consider meditating on these other Psalms of lament and use them as a source of encouragement and as an example on how you might write your psalm or pray: Psalms 3, 5, 6, 7, 13, 32, 38, 44, 51, 60, 74, 79, 80, 83, 85, 90, 102, 123, 130,137, 143.

After you complete this exercise, you may be surprised at the ways that your spiritual life will change, including your prayers and views on suffering. When we go beyond feeling sorry for ourselves, to actually bringing lament before God, confessing our trust in Him, asking Him for help and ultimately praising God for who He is no matter what situation we are in, we become changed because our focus is on something bigger than ourselves. We begin to become acquainted with a Savior that is intimately involved in the suffering and joys of our lives and who is continually delivering us from the power and effects of sin, making us more like Him. This is the Good News: the Gospel.

It is also important to note the distinction between expressing anger to God and being angry at/with God. It is acceptable to bring our doubts and questions to God as seen in the Psalms, but when we become angry at God and accuse Him of being wrong, unloving, out of control, absent, or having less wisdom than us, then we have crossed the line. (See Proverbs 19:3)

• Remember and be reassured that we are writing from a standpoint before God that is brutally honest yet fully trusting.

• Try to tap into your creative, right brain and explore how to write in the

style of a Psalm – like a poem, art piece or song – rather than journaling or writing in paragraphs.

• If it helps, try to think of metaphors, word pictures, and similes to describe your pain or situation. These can be great avenues of expression when describing painful things in lament.

1 Ronald B. Allen, And I Will Praise Him. (Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel, 1992), 34.

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TEMPLATE FOR A FOUR-PART LAMENT

1. Cry out to God 2. Complaint 3. Petition or Request 4. Truth and Thanksgiving

WHAT DO YOU WA NT TO L A ME NT ?

Use this space to reflect on what aspect of life you are grieving that you may want to bring before God. As you reflect, what image or metaphor comes to mind that could help describe your situation?

LAMENT METAPHORS TO CONSIDER: Drowning Unrelenting rain or endless fog Snow that never melts Shattered glass Carrying a heavy burden Unending night/darkness An empty room or emptiness Crashing waves Sinking sand A broken record Driving with no destination Walking on eggshells CRY OUT TO GOD How will you address God? How do you believe your relationship with God will initiate change in your life?

Psalm 28: To you, O Lord, I call; My rock, be not deaf to me.

Psalm 13: How long, O Lord?

Psalm 94: O Lord, God of vengeance, O God of vengeance, shine forth!

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COMPLAINT What is your complaint? What anger, pain, heartache or sadness do you have that may need to be discussed with God?

Psalm 22: Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?

O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest.

Psalm 6: I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes.

PETITION OR REQUEST What is your petition or deepest desire?

What do you want for your life situation right now?

Psalm 6: Return, O Lord, and rescue me.

Save me because of your unfailing love.

Psalm 13: Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.

Psalm 102: Bend down to listen, and answer me quickly when I call to you.

TRUTH AND THANKSGIVING What attribute of God can you thank Him for in this moment?

What thing/person/event (no matter how small) can you be grateful for?

Psalm 94: But the Lord is my fortress; my God is the mighty rock where I hide.

Psalm 3: Victory comes from you, O Lord.

May you bless your people.

Psalm 60: With God’s help we will do mighty things, for God will trample down our foes.

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YOUR PSA LM OF L A ME NT Let’s now attempt to put the pieces you processed previously into a psalm of lament. Take words or phrases from each of the four sections and re-phrase or format them together to form one work.

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