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We’re so glad you’re here. No matter where you are spiritually, Thrive provides a community to be encouraged, be real, and be challenged to dig in and experience an extraordinary life. It’s an opportunity to discover God’s answers for thriving in the difficult parts of life’s journey.
The mission of Thrive is to bring glory to God through lives changed by the gospel of Jesus. This intensive discipleship program includes daily Bible study and reflection, assessments, one-on-one mentoring, small groups, and teaching. Thrive helps us gain traction in our relationship with God by addressing unresolved issues from our past, uprooting unhealthy coping patterns, and practicing spiritual formation principles that lead to Christian maturity. In the Great Commission, Jesus calls us to make disciples by teaching them to observe—not just know—His commands. God desires heart-level obedience, and when the gospel takes root, it deeply transforms us and how we relate to everything. Thrive offers a structure that helps us move from hearing the Word to doing it, because it’s in the application of truth that we bear fruit.
MATTHEW 28:18 – 20
And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Thrive is not a religious system for climbing our way to God, but a response of faithful obedience to what the gospel has already accomplished and promised. The centrality of the gospel is essential to our approach: We begin by laying a foundation of what Jesus has done for those who believe, then invite participants to live in light of that truth. On that foundation, we use assessments to help apply the gospel to areas of past and present struggle that hinder the abundant life Jesus offers.
JAMES 1:22
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
PHILOSOPHY
RECONNECTING US TO THE GOSPEL
Thrive seeks to equip the Church with a confidence that the Scriptures are sufficient in addressing the deepest issues of our lives and that the gospel of Jesus is relevant (even superior) to the world’s solutions in addressing these issues. We must recover a right understanding and application of the gospel as the remedy for all that ails us.
COMMUNITY IS YOUR ADVANTAGE
Our desire is that you would understand the change process in the context of church community because God designed us to do life beside each other.
A LIFE OF CONTINUAL TRANSFORMATION
We want everyone to experience the healing and freedom that comes from knowing Christ, so we can all live our lives as citizens of the Kingdom of God. Our hope is not that you remain stuck in a program, but rather, that you grow and move through life in the joy of the Lord!
RECONCILIATION WITH GOD
Reconciliation with God is the goal. Noticing our behavior changing is the by-product. Only Jesus can reconcile us to God, not our good deeds. As our hearts are reconciled to His, His Spirit changes how we relate to everything.
GIVING YOUR ALL
It is a temptation to reduce our walk with the Lord to holiness in one area. If we believe we are “okay” with God because we haven’t sinned in a particular way, we tend toward moralism or legalism, which is merely another form of slavery. Jesus said: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” The Christian life is about surrendering every area of life to God, every day.
PROGRAMS DON’T HEAL PEOPLE
Thrive or any other ministry or program doesn’t heal. Only Jesus Christ can deliver us from bondage to sin and reconcile us to God. We are not here to exalt a program, but the person and work of Jesus Christ. Fundamentally, sin is the worship of the creation rather than the Creator. When you give yourself to a program instead of Christ, you enslave yourself to a program.
SCOPE & SEQUENCE
Here is a general idea of what to expect this semester. The program is broken up into three main movements:
1. Understanding God 2. Understanding Ourselves 3. Loving Others Bonus
THE FIVE COMPONENTS
HOMEWORK (3 HOURS PER WEEK)
BIBLE STUDY
Throughout much of the program, participants will commit to daily Bible study and reflection. The pattern is six days of digging into God’s Word and stopping on the seventh day to reflect. The questions vary in difficulty and some might even be difficult to understand. It is okay to admit we don’t have all the answers. A right answer is an honest answer.
ASSESSMENT
We first examine the fruit in our lives. As we move through the assessment process, we will uncover the roots of any ungodly fruit that drive our ungodly thoughts, actions, and emotions. We are seeking to examine and rid ourselves of those things that hinder the freedom Christ intends for His people. There are six separate assessments that will be discussed and prayed through with Mentors.
ONE-ON-ONE MENTORING (AVG. 2 HOURS PER WEEK)
Participants should schedule time each week to meet with their mentor to review their Mentor Prep sections of homework, or walk through their assessments at the appropriate time of the semester. The amount of time varies depending on what is covered each week.
WEEKLY LARGE GROUP (1 HOUR)
Each week there is a comprehensive lesson rooted in the Scriptures, aimed at the heart with the gospel of Jesus Christ exhorting the greatest command. This time will be accompanied by corporate worship music and host content personalized for your semester.
WEEKLY SMALL GROUP (1 HOUR)
Community is an important aspect to Thrive. Each person will be assigned a small group led by a qualified leader to shepherd the group through the process. The group leaders will ask good questions, keep the conversation moving, and make group time an easy place for you to share. This gives participants the opportunity to learn and be encouraged by others.
LET’S USE THE EXAMPLE OF A THURSDAY NIGHT GROUP.
COST/COMMITMENT & BENEFIT
The level of commitment for completing Thrive as it is designed requires an average of seven hours per week: one hour for the weekly small group, one hour for the teaching, three hours for homework (Bible study or writing assessments) and two hours for meeting with a mentor. It is similar in commitment to taking a college course. Financially speaking, the benefits might be considered equivalent to this low-cost local example:
$2,400 $600 $3,000
16 hours of coaching or counseling at about $150 per hour
ENCOURAGEMENT
Tuition for a typical semester-long course VALUE
This is a brave thing you’re doing! Remember that every step you take, no matter how difficult, is a step toward growth. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed at times—that’s a sign you’re venturing out into new territory and learning to trust God in ways you didn’t expect. Take it one step at a time, and don’t forget to celebrate each small victory along the way. God’s got this! You and He together will make a great team.
MATTHEW 11:28 – 30
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Thrive Prep Work
Before the 14 weeks of Thrive can officially begin, you must complete orientation and the following checklist. This is to ensure you are well prepared prior to committing and being accepted into the program!
Once completed, you will have the opportunity to commit and complete the online registration for Thrive. Along with your materials payment, this step will officially complete your Thrive application.
You will then wait to hear about acceptance into the program this semester, as well as other important information regarding the first meeting.
PRE-THRIVE CHECKLIST:
Complete online Orientation.
Agree with the “Participant Commitment” (on p. 12) as you complete online registration for Thrive.
Identify a mentor using the provided guide. (below)* If you already have a mentor, have them apply to Thrive Leadership. (my.ccbcfamily.org/registration/thrive-mentor)
Work through a sample of the Thrive daily homework.
Listen to the podcast: “How to Tell Your Story.”
Prepare to share your story.
*IDENTIFY A MENTOR
Identifying a mentor can be a challenge in and of itself. Perhaps you have already identified someone to mentor you. If you don’t have a mentor, we suggest letting those you are in a relationship with know you are going through Thrive and are looking for a mentor. Consider asking two or three people, and don’t be discouraged if your first choice cannot commit. Mentors must be in place prior to the start of Thrive.
A “qualified” mentor is someone who …
has completed Thrive in the past
is someone whose mentor would also recommend them to mentor
is currently in a good place spiritually and has completed the Thrive mentor training
A mentor from outside of Thrive is not necessarily unqualified but simply has not completed Thrive. They may be qualified in every other way to mentor but may not be familiar with the content and scope of Thrive as it is laid out at our church. Please reach out to us with questions!
A mentor is committed to meeting weekly with you throughout the semester, completing the required training sessions offered, and joining the final large group Celebration. They are also responsible for working with mentees on an aftercare plan. Mentors are expected to commit an average of two hours a week.
Thrive Mentor Application:
(my.ccbcfamily.org/registration/thrive-mentor)
Prepare to Share Your Story
Why should I share? Everyone has a story. Your story is important. It provides the context to who you are today. Your story is unique and needs to be told. Your story is filled with shaping influences (both positive and negative) and ways you responded to those influences. These influences shape how we think about the world around us, including God, self, and others.
As you prepare to share your story, consider pain points in your life. Consider the high and low markers in your life and how you were changed or shaped by them. Consider how you responded to these events or people. Consider how your view of self, others, God, and your circumstances changed. Change can be for better or worse.
Visit this QR code for specific guidance on how to tell your story in Thrive.
How to Tell Your Story in Thrive:
(share.transistor.fm/s/0e7a9fec)
As you prepare to share, you should think about how you will fit your story into about 30 total minutes as you sit with your mentor during your first meeting. You’ll get to hear their story when you meet, as well!
Thrive Small Group Ground Rules
The following characteristics will contribute to a safe and successful Thrive small group experience.
1. Successful small groups have a balance of each person getting to contribute and share without any one person dominating the group’s time and attention. So, don’t talk too little and don’t talk too much.
2. Avoid the temptation to try to fix one another. Safe and successful small groups are characterized by support rather than advice-giving. Trying to “fix” someone else is usually a sign that we don’t want to deal with our own stuff.
3. Share with honesty and authenticity. Sharing our struggles openly demonstrates our desire to pursue growth and freedom in Christ.
4. Do not romanticize your sin. It is tempting in group settings to compare struggles or take pride in things that grieve the heart of God. We do not celebrate sin; we celebrate repentance.
5. Scripture calls us to refrain from gossip. Please operate under the direction of God’s Word in the handling of information shared within the group. In order to provide a safe environment for your group, you must commit to NOT share information about one another outside the group, except in rare circumstances, such as:
| Potential harm to self or others
| Reports of abuse or potential abuse to a child, the disabled, or an elderly person
Leaders sometimes share information with Soul Care Leadership and Mentors for the ongoing growth of leaders and the health of the group and its members.
6. In Thrive, each person should be allowed to share without interruptions. However, like most other successful conversations, others are free to contribute with comments or observations only to the extent that it is helpful for the person that is sharing. Counsel must be biblically rooted.
Thrive Participant Commitment
After prayerful consideration, I believe that God is leading me to participate in this season of Thrive. I understand that by being in this study, I am committing to the following:
o To not miss more than 2 small group / large group / Mentor meetings this semester
o To be prepared each week, having read through, thought through, prayed through, studied, and thoroughly completed each lesson, as well as any other homework
o To not just answer the questions, but to diligently seek to apply these biblical principles to my daily living
o To complete this process, setting aside these next few months to work on my relationship with God and others
o To establish and maintain open and honest communication with my group leader, mentor, and any staff leadership
o To be teachable and follow the leadership in the Thrive program
o To uphold the Thrive Small Group Ground Rules (see previous page)
o To be on time to the meetings each week
By signing below, I am agreeing to the above commitment and understand that the church acts as a church, not a counseling center. Therefore, we are not acting as professional counselors but as ministers of the gospel of Jesus. By signing here, you are acknowledging that you have read this statement and agree to adhere to the group guidelines, have completed the Thrive prep work, and are desiring to participate in the biblical counsel and community outlined in this packet.
SIGNATURE OF PARTICIPANT
WITNESS/GROUP LEADER
Date: ___________________
Date: ___________________
A Framework for Change
PRE-THRIVE LESSON ONE
Part of biblical discipleship is speaking God’s words with God’s heart to God’s people. The following overview is provided to differentiate the counsel offered from the Bible from that which is offered through the world. Biblical counseling is distinct as it is rooted in the Scriptures, aimed at the heart with the gospel of Jesus, and exhorts us to love like Christ.
TWO KINDS OF KNOWLEDGE
All knowledge can fit into one of two categories:
1. THE WISDOM OF GOD
This is living in God’s world God’s way. This wisdom undergirds how the universe is wired. The fear of the Lord, which is the beginning of wisdom, recognizes that from Him comes all goodness and He alone is worthy of centering our lives around.
PROVERBS 1:7
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. (see also Prov. 3:5 & 9:10)
2. THE KNOWLEDGE OF MAN
On the other hand, living apart from God’s way (by the knowledge of man or in the way of the world) is attempting to live in God’s world another way. This understanding comes from the influence of the enemy of God and leads to foolishness.
1 CORINTHIANS 1:20
Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? These two worldviews are in opposition to one another. The conflict is not in what can be studied through science (observation), but rather, how we attempt to live based on the understanding of that reality. The wisdom of man or the world is based in speculation, while the wisdom of God is based in revelation. Trying to blend these two sources of wisdom is like trying to mix oil and water. Whatever is true belongs to God, to His praise and glory. The wisdom of the world has limitations because its understanding is incomplete. It is reductionist in its analysis. We need God’s Word to rightly understand. In misdiagnosing the extent of the problem, the wisdom of man can merely provide symptomatic remedies.
While agreeing with much of what can be observed, we can gain a more robust understanding of human problems through God’s Word than conclusions arrived at through mere observation.
ECCLESIASTES 12:11 – 12
The words of the wise are like goads, and like nails firmly fixed are the collected sayings; they are given by one Shepherd. My son, beware of anything beyond these. Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh.
Thrive offers counsel rooted in the Scriptures, as they give us an understanding of how to live in God’s world God’s way. Secular counseling attempts to provide an alternative to this wisdom.
ROOT/FRUIT RELATIONSHIP
JEREMIAH 17:5 – 8
Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land.
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”
As can be seen in this passage, these different sources of wisdom will lead to much different outcomes. One is fruitful and one is unfruitful. The fruit of a person’s life will indicate the root of their life. Trusting God and His Word brings nourishment through the living waters of Christ and will produce good fruit even in difficult circumstances. Those who trust in man (in himself or others) will end up barren and desolate, both internally and eternally.
the behaviors that others observe, or that are easy to see for ourselves
We tend to focus mostly on fruit, and how to make it look as good as possible. Yet oftentimes it’s sour or even rotten on the inside. For some of us, it may be nonexistent. We may look more like the desert shrub (v. 6) and are instead concentrating on growing thorns to protect us and hurt others.
If you were to label the diagram with your own words to describe your “fruits” or “trunk,” what would you add?
COMMUNITY IS OUR ADVANTAGE
We need help. This change process is difficult to understand on our own. The people around you—friends, family, group members, or mentors—are given by God to support you. Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness, but of strength and wisdom! Most of us are here because we’ve lacked the community (relationships) we need in order to help us truly change and grow. Lasting change only happens when we follow God’s design, and He has shown us that his design is a community project—not a solo endeavor.
CHANGE IS GOOD
While all forms of care and counsel are about change, Thrive is about heart change. We’ll get more into that topic in the next lesson.
Discipleship Aimed at the Heart
PRE-THRIVE LESSON TWO
Last time, we talked about the connection between the “roots” of our lives (our heart) and the outcomes or behaviors we and other witness (our fruit).
Now, we’re going to build on that understanding and focus on the heart and why it’s such a powerful, driving force in us. Oftentimes, we can learn from our hearts to see what is causing the disorder in our lives. But it’s not so simple to see into our own hearts. We need help.
JEREMIAH 17:9 – 10
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”
PROVERBS 4:23
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.
The Bible has over 800 references to “the heart.” God is deeply aware of how He created our heart to be the wellspring of our lives, and He wants us to guard it carefully. From it comes our thoughts, actions, and affections. God is the One who can help us understand our hearts.
When we seek counseling, we tend to work on symptoms focused on behavior, cognitions, and emotions but fail to address the deeper issues of the heart; namely, issues of pride and idolatry. Treating symptoms has been described as giving aspirin to a person for a headache caused by a brain tumor. It may relieve a headache for a time, but does little to fix a brain tumor. This does not mean that we should refuse the aspirin, but we should not rely on it as a promise to fix an underlying condition that requires more advanced intervention. Therefore, Thrive is a heart-focused biblical discipleship program.
What’s in your “water bottle”?
What comes out when you’re shaken?
How did it get like this? Was it always this way?
WORLDVIEW IS IMPORTANT PERFECTION
When God created the world, He didn’t create a cosmic mess. He brought order out of chaos. It was good! When He created mankind, He even said it was “very good.” God and His people were fellowshipping so beautifully in the garden. Adam and Eve listened to God, obeyed Him, and valued His counsel. All was pure. All was well. So what happened?
BROKENNESS
The sin of God’s prized creation (man and woman) brought an infection into God’s perfect creation. Adam and Eve listened to the wrong counselor. As recounted in Genesis 3, God’s enemy (Satan) took the form of a serpent and asked a question that insinuated God was not to be totally trusted. It was a lie. And God’s precious children believed the lie, disobeyed God, fell out of perfect fellowship with Him, and the infection of sin began its destructive work on every part of God’s perfect creation. We were the ones who created the cosmic mess.
RECLAMATION
But death and decay weren’t God’s endgame. His plan from the beginning was to tell an intricate story about Himself through His people over thousands of generations. Our sovereign and omniscient God uses His enemy’s plans for His own good. God had a plan to send His Son to save His people. That was the plan all along—to reclaim what is His. Jesus was sent to pay for us. For all our mistakes. He has made a way back to God!
STRUGGLE
However, the journey on this broken earth is fraught with trouble. (John 16:33) This is probably no surprise to you, as it’s an inherent reality for those knowing they need change. Change is necessary because God commands us to grow and to look more and more like him. (Sanctification, or holiness.)
SOMETHING TO CONSIDER:
Did we disorder our lives? Or were our lives already in disorder?
THE MESS OF OUR LIVES …
In popular terms, many of us have some sort of “disorder.” A few examples are: anxiety, eating, sleep, attention deficit, hyperactivity, narcissistic personality, etc.
Using these man-made constructs suggests a line of differentiation between “healthy” (ordered) people and “disordered” people. Naturally, we seek a remedy for the disease or disorder of our lives. It could be simple things like obtaining organizational bins for an unruly room or closet in your home. Or even more advanced solutions such as taking medications that adjust our neurochemical responses to stimuli.
When we speak about disorder, we need to realize that we ALL suffer from a version of it. It comes from the separated state of our fellowship with our Maker. God’s Word describes this frustrated state that we are in:
ROMANS 8:18 – 23
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.
We wait for order to return to God’s creation. However, we are not immune from disordered thought patterns and the effects of others’ disorder. We mostly struggle to worship rightly.
ORDERING OUR DESIRES …
Worship is what we were made to do. It is the purpose given to us by our Creator. The word worship speaks to the priority of our desires. What is first in our hearts? The design is that God is given His rightful place as the King of our hearts. When we arrange our lives in this way, we begin to function as intended. This is why God commands our love to point to Him first.
“…you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” There is no other commandment greater than these.
We are fundamentally worshipers. The first part of the greatest command is about worship. We worship what is uppermost in our affections (first in our hearts). We were created to worship God. All sin stems from disordered loves. When we sin, we love something more than we love God and give the worship that is rightly His to another. This is called idolatry. We have a bent toward idolatry or the worship of the creation rather than the Creator (Romans 1:25).
The second part of the greatest command is linked to the first. When we are not reflecting God’s heart (love) toward others, it indicates that there is something in our hearts that needs to be given instead to Him.
God reconciles the hearts of His children through the gospel, giving us new hearts, reordering His creation to its intended design and reorienting our hearts to worship him. He is the restorer of what is broken!
As our hearts are reconciled to His, we will progressively reflect Christ in the way that we love others and relate to our selves, our jobs, our friends and family, our bodies, money, sex, food, etc. Thrive intends to lead people to worship and enjoy God and love people. It exhorts the Greatest Command. When we put these two words together, we see that all chaos and frustration comes from disordered worship. We are valuing the wrong things, and perhaps have been for a very long time—which is why change is so difficult.
Tim Keller says, “Our worship disorder is the very heart act of refusing to have Jesus Christ as our heart’s functional trust, preoccupation, loyalty, service, fear, and delight [security, contentment, joy].”
ROMANS 1:21
For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.
When our hearts are darkened for a long time, we become the things we don’t want to become. We start looking like those who have hurt us. We become used to rejecting the grace and love of Jesus. Living in the dark makes us repulsed by the light that we so desperately need to cleanse and heal our ailments. We all suffer from a worship disorder.
Let’s think back to that heart diagram from earlier. How would a darkened heart produce negative fruit?
(-) THOUGHTS (-) FEELINGS (-) ACTIONS
THERE IS ONLY ONE SOLUTION TO OUR DISORDER … THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST
The gospel of Jesus Christ is the unfolding plan of God to redeem His lost creation through the person and work of Jesus Christ. As we come to understand that human suffering ultimately flows from a fractured creation through sin entering the world, any promise of ultimately conquering the problem and the ensuing suffering apart from the gospel falls woefully short of the hope of redemption found in Jesus.
“If nothing changes, nothing changes” is a well-known slogan. Unless we are changed deeply at the level of the heart, we have no hope of flourishing. Jesus came to win our hearts back to God so that we might live fruitful lives. Our message is the gospel, and we believe when it takes root, everything changes. Thrive seeks to connect the truths of the gospel to our everyday struggles so we might flourish as we are changed by Him. With Jesus as the solution to the disorder of our hearts, we should be living our best lives. However, we must recognize that we are made new but not perfect. There are other influences that impact us every day.
Think back to the water bottle example. The things associated with the rings in the above diagram are influencing your water bottle. When they bump you, they may make some water splash out. They may heat your water up. Or these influences may work the other way and might even make you believe that you don’t need the water in your bottle to be pure. They may produce “additives” to make you believe you’re ok on the inside, because you feel ok in your body, family, friends, or culture.
Without Jesus, we must rely on these spheres of influence to cope with the sin and suffering of life. When the circumstances and environment around us are bad, we are bad.
However, with Jesus ruling our hearts, we can thrive no matter the circumstances! He is our Savior and our great Healer!
MATTHEW 8:17b
“He took our illnesses and bore our diseases.”
Redemptive Community
PRE-THRIVE LESSON THREE
Now that we have an understanding that our hearts directly influence our thoughts, feelings, and actions, and we also understand that our primary problem is a worship disorder, we are going to give an overview of the type of community we aim to foster in the Thrive program, because this community is what God has given to remind us of these important frameworks for living and growing while on earth together.
The concept of “living in community” can be difficult because many of us have never experienced true biblical community. That is, we’ve not been a part of a healthy and intimate community where we were continually encouraged in our personal and communal worship of God. By contrast, many of us have been hurt or abused by others in such a way that makes us very guarded. Or perhaps our own selfishness has gotten in the way, and we end up isolated. Few of us (if any) have really experienced the relationships that God designed for His people.
Let’s take a look at some common types of community so as to focus on the biblical (or redemptive) community that God calls His people to:
1. Communal – a community made up of mutual outside influences such as a shared taste in music, movies, food, athletics, sports teams, etc.
2. Societal – a community comprised of primarily surface-level interactions with acquaintances; possibly limited to members of a social class or group.
3. Personal – a close-knit community defined by shared experiences; your extended family, or people you would call friends.
4. Intimate – a community that’s real and “raw”; might be made up of your inner circle of friends and immediate family, or “framily” (the family you chose).
5. Biblical – a healthy and intimate community that is encouraging each other in worshipping God and accomplishing His purpose for the world; Continually pursuing growth in love, devotion, worship, authenticity, accountability, and prayer with one another.
A biblical, redemptive community should make my purpose for being in the community to bless others, to serve them, and help them. Let’s review seven marks of this type of community that is special to God’s Church.
1. ABIDING IN CHRIST CONTINUALLY
JOHN 15:5
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
Keeping first things first isn’t just something we talk about, it’s something we ought to put into practice—and it needs to happen frequently. Putting Jesus first only happens when we give Him the proper place in our hearts. When He comes first, and we stay with Him, our lives start to feel more ordered, even when the circumstances around us are disordered.
The concept of abiding in Jesus presented here is the idea of an enduring relationship. The word “abide” actually means to remain or stay. Take a look at the illustration above. The vine represents Jesus. The branch represents His people. Unlike an automobile that we fill with fuel (or charge up) and then drive until it’s depleted, God’s design for us is to stay plugged into Him. The branch pictured in this image would die if it disconnected from the vine. It would lose its stability and source of life and energy.
Simply put: There’s no way a follower of Christ can contribute to a redemptive community without putting first things first and abiding in Jesus.
2. COMMITTED TO OTHERS
EPHESIANS 4:1b-3
Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
When we become members of the family of God, we inherit all of the privileges as well as the sacred responsibilities He calls us to. Part of being in a redemptive community is treating each other as you might treat a sibling—like family. Depending on your family of origin, you may see family differently than the way God intended, and you may have been mistreated.
Being a part of the community of God gives us all a chance to start over; to return to His vision for treating each other with honor.
ROMANS 12:10
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
Honor means to “treat as special.” When we think of ways to treat someone else as special, we begin to investigate how they are wired, what makes them tick, what they enjoy or avoid. We pick up on ways to make them smile and enjoy God’s world. The passage above uses the word “outdo.” When is the last time you attempted to go beyond for someone else … without any personal gain?
Jesus values and cares for us the same way a shepherd cares for each of his sheep. When one of the sheep has strayed, the devotion of the shepherd drives him to seek the sheep out. The opposite of love is not always hate. At least the feeling of hate that shows we care! The opposite of love is indifference. Don’t be indifferent to the needs and cares of others around you! Jesus calls us to reflect Him by pursuing His straying sheep in gentleness so they may be reconciled back to Him.
3. BEING REAL WITH ONE ANOTHER
JAMES 5:16a
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.
Much of what we’re after in our deepest relationships is to be fully known and fully loved. While that is ultimately only possible with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we are called to vulnerability with one another in community. Why? For our own good! The path to holiness is accountability according to truth, and confessing and praying with one another to our Healer.
In order to do this we have to share what we are going through, even if it doesn’t look pretty. This intimacy is difficult, and it’s even what keeps many marriages from true, authentic love. It involves lowering your shield and allowing yourself to be exposed to other people; giving them the ability to hurt you. This also involves trust. Trust in other people? Perhaps. Really, we’re trusting God. Trusting that He knows what is best for us, and will use these imperfect people to make us look more like Him (which is His ultimate goal).
1 JOHN 1:6-7
If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
Bringing things into the light means they will be visible to others as well. This part of honesty and accountability is a key first step in removing the evil one’s stronghold on an area of suffering or sin that is keeping us captive and stuck. Jesus paid for you to have an abundant life in Him! So use the community He has put around you and invite someone to see what you’ve been going through. You never know—your faithfulness to do so might spur others on to do the same!
4. PURSUING RECONCILIATION
MATTHEW 18:15
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
(Continue reading in Matthew 18:15-17.)
Oftentimes, we are tempted to climb into the safety of our community to seek comfort in the midst of conflict. There is certainly a place for finding comfort in those God has placed around you. However, this community—looking to God’s wisdom for discernment—can help to determine if the conflict is bad (persecution) or good (an opportunity to show others a picture of Jesus).
Let’s focus on general conflict between community members because it’s what is most common.
Conflict can be an excellent way to highlight the power and grace of our Heavenly Father. It’s also a part of how people can grow closer together. Conflict hurts because it involves a sensitive area of ourselves that has been exposed or called out. This may be an area that still needs healing, and—even though the conflict may have come about because of someone’s poor intent—it can be turned into an opportunity to find that healing and bring things into the light for God’s Spirit to heal in the midst of your community members.
Because Jesus Christ has forgiven us of infinitely more than we could ever be called on to forgive another person, we should never find ourselves in a position of being unwilling to pursue restoration of a relationship. Let the below passage and ensuing parable that Jesus tells be a warning to us should we consider ourselves beyond forgiveness and reconciliation:
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
(Continue reading the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18:23-35.)
5. GOING TO GOD FOR HELP
2 TIMOTHY 3:16-17
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.
A community defined by God should follow His Word closely and trust in the direction He gives us through it. Remember, that there are generally two buckets of knowledge: The wisdom of God, and the knowledge of man. Like oil and water, it’s unfruitful to try to mix these two. When we attempt to live in God’s world apart from His way, we are inviting counsel from God’s enemy to sneak in and pull our focus (or our worship) away from God.
The truth is, we need God’s Word more than we need man’s knowledge. His truth is the only way to get a proper interpretation of our need.
Most people are far more concerned with what the world says than what the Word says.
Because there is such a constant flow of worldly counsel in our lives, we need to be a community that goes to God with all of our needs, requests, problems, desires, celebrations, griefs, and sorrows. God is the source of life, wisdom, and healing that we desperately need. And our community is a good place to be reminded of this when we are hurting or running away from our Creator.
JAMES 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
Sometimes people from our community share things with us that we don’t want to hear. That’s where looking to God’s unchanging and living Word helps us keep unity while pursuing holiness. When we each seek the counsel of God, we should all hear something that agrees. God would not speak truth to one person that disagrees with another. When we all submit to God’s leadership in our lives, we will begin to shift our perspective and allow only what is sinful in us to feel offended (putting to death what is impure), and then we can feel strengthened by our friendships which have pursued our best interest—even when it was hard for them socially.
COLOSSIANS 3:16a
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom.
GALATIANS 6:1-4
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor.
Jesus calls His Church to be counter-cultural. Our goals, aspirations and values should be different from those of the world. God will use the temptations of the world to help us see the areas of our hearts that still need to be reconciled to His, and this is fertile ground for the work of God’s community in admonishing and encouraging one another toward restoration. If our goal is maturity in following Jesus, we must help each other out. We cannot do this alone. God had given us the gift of one another. And although we are each imperfect, God uses each of us to tangibly encourage one another by the truth of His Word. We use His wisdom rather than our own ideas as we help one another pursue change.
Jesus tells us that we should deal with our sin radically. The Church should be a safe place for sinners seeking to grow in the likeness of Christ, but not a safe place for sin. It is okay to not be okay, but it is not okay to stay there. The call to repentance should be evident in our community.
This means sometimes we admonish, or reprimand someone in our community when we see they are doing something that dishonors God. Our culture doesn’t like being challenged, but we are called to live counter-culturally. Scripture says other people will know you are Jesus-followers because of the love you have for one another (John 13:35), and sometimes this love is shown in doing hard things for the benefit of another and expense of our own comfort.
Jesus tells us that if a brother or sister is straying from God’s Word in a pattern of sin, we have a responsibility to pursue that person in gentleness and love and to plead with them to return to Him. He has given a process to engage the person (Matt. 18:15-17). This might be thought of as the crucible of redemptive community, which helps shape our worship and expose what we love. The Church serves as a witness as to whether someone is choosing their sin or the Savior.
ECCLESIASTES 4:9-10;12b
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow … a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Do not forget that God is the One who heals and ultimately restores to right standing. You are not in this alone (God is the third strand in the “cord”). Oftentimes we operate in our own strength (the “toil” mentioned above), and fail to remember that it is the Lord who changes hearts and minds (Prov. 21:1). Giving advice is not the answer; rather, helping others go to God with their worries and concerns is a strength that is only found in a healthy biblical community.
7. LOVING THOSE ON THE OUTSIDE
2 CORINTHIANS 5:18-20a
All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ …
The life change that we have experienced because of the person and work of Jesus Christ should be so radical that we cannot keep it to ourselves. We must show the same love that we have received and that has saved our souls to those on the “outside.”
Jesus tells us that we should receive and care for the weak, the wounded, the strayed, the lost, the afflicted, the addicted, the abused and confused who come honestly seeking help. When we welcome them, we welcome Him (Matt. 25:40). It is okay to come to Him in our brokenness.
(Consider also reading Hebrews 13:14-16) Biblical community should be marked by love, unity and the pursuit of holiness. The family of God should be a redemptive family system. As citizens of the Kingdom, we have a responsibility to reflect Christ in our homes, churches and communities. Our practices should reflect our greatest treasure, which is Jesus Christ. All of the above markers should indicate to others that we are different.
WEEK ONE
The Beginning: Creation and Fall
Day One
INTRODUCING THE CREATOR
To know God is to love God. (He is that good!) To love God is to trust God. To trust God is to obey God. Therefore, let us introduce you to God.
In the beginning, God laid the foundation of the world with precision and in an awesome display of His immeasurable power, to His glory.
PSALM 8:1
HEBREWS 1:10
O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens. You Lord, laid the foundation of the earth in the beginning, and the heavens are the work of your hands.
READ GENESIS 1:1–2:3
1. Who is the central character introduced in the creation narrative? Who is ultimately inspiring the writer to write? What does this tell us about our Creator’s desire for us to know Him?
REVELATION 4:11
Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created
2. What can be known about God in observing this opening scene?
POINT OF INTEREST: Blurring the distinction between the Creator and the creation lends to all kinds of problems, as He alone is worthy of our worship.
ROMANS 1:25
They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.
3. How is the creation described in Genesis 1:2?
4. Through what means does God bring light to the darkness, bring order to what is disordered and fill what is empty?
HEBREWS 11:3
By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.
5. Where is God in relation to what He governs?
ACTS 17:26–27
And He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward Him and find Him. Yet He is actually not far from each one of us.
6. What is the result when God speaks (vv. 3, 6, 9, 11, 14, 20, 24, 26, 29)? How might this affect our confidence in God to deliver on His promises or His ability to carry them out?
7. What adjective is used to describe all that proceeds from God (vv. 4, 10, 12, 18, 25, 31)?
8. God is creating with rhythm. He is ordering time, space and matter. He orders work and rest. What work is done between evening and morning each day? What is done on the seventh day?
MARK 2:27
And he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.”
9. How does God create mankind distinct from the rest of His creation (v. 26)? In a world that is searching for identity, what does this tell us about who we are?
POINT OF INTEREST: In a world that is confused about gender, we see God create male and female equal but distinct, of the same kind but different.
PSALM 8:3–6
When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You have given him dominion over the works of your hands; you have put all things under his feet.
10. Verse 28 is referred to as the cultural mandate. In a world that is searching for purpose, what has God revealed as our purpose?
11. The mandate gives authority (responsibility) to steward God’s creation. As image bearers, who’s character are we to emulate in the stewardship of the creation? How does naming suggest authority?
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made.
JOHN 1:1–3
Day Two
THE CREATION: A DIFFERENT VANTAGE POINT
Under God’s authority, we find human flourishing. The Genesis 2 account helps us see the sixth day of creation from a different vantage point. We see His care, presence, provision, protection and direction.
READ GENESIS 2:4–25
1. Describe the initial degree of fruitfulness of the land (vv. 5–6).
2. What does God do (vv. 7–9)?
3. How is the abundance of provision that sustains life described (vv. 9–14)?
4. How can we make sense of the presence of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in a world that is described as “very good”?
5. According to Genesis 2:15, why did God place Adam in the garden?
6. Who is responsible for what in producing fruitfulness in the garden?
7. What direction does God give to Adam as He places him in the garden (v. 16)? Is this to hinder and harm him or preserve and protect him?
8. Why is it not good for Adam to be alone? (Hint: See God’s purpose in Genesis 1:28.)
9. How does God form Eve? For what purpose?
10. Imagine and describe a world without shame.
11. In reflecting on the garden paradise, do you believe God wants us to experience enjoyment and pleasure?
POINT OF INTEREST: In verse 4 a personal name is given to the Creator: “Yahweh” (translated “the LORD”). This is the covenantal name of God (explaining the nature of the relationship of God with His people) and also sets Him apart as self-sufficient, self-sustaining and the Creator of all things.
Day Three
MARRIAGE – GOD’S IDEA
RE-READ GENESIS 2:18–25
1. According to Genesis 2:24, what two actions are to happen when a man and a woman marry? How does this fit into man’s purpose of Genesis 1:28?
2. Whose idea is marriage? With all the confusion in the culture over the definition of marriage, who does God ordain marriage between (in terms of male and female)? How does this fit into the purposes of Genesis 1:28?
3. If God instituted marriage, then what does this imply about God’s authority to govern marriage?
4. Whose idea is sex (“you shall become one flesh”)? In what context is sex to be enjoyed? How does this fit into man’s purpose of Genesis 1:28?
5. If God created sex, then what does this imply about God’s authority to govern sex?
GLIMPSE OF THE GOSPEL: God brings forth Adam’s bride from his wounded side. Adam awakens in celebration to claim her as his own in the most intimate of all human relationships without shame. This foreshadows the bride of Christ, the church, who is brought forth from the wounds of Christ. He too awakens in celebration to claim her as His own in the most intimate of all relationships without shame.
READ MATTHEW 19:1–9
6. When the Pharisees question Jesus about the lawfulness of divorce, where in Scripture does He point to (vv. 4–6)? What instruction does He give them (v. 6)?
7. What reason does Jesus give for Moses’ instruction in regulating divorce?
8. What sin does Jesus say a person commits when divorcing and marrying another?
9. What exception is given?
POINT OF INTEREST: Pastors and theologians disagree over the exact meaning of this “exception clause.” Regardless of where one lands on this question, what is undeniably clear throughout the Scriptures is that reconciliation is possible through the gospel. Those experiencing adultery, abuse, abandonment or toxicity in their marriage are encouraged to engage the church to shepherd them through the hurt, pain and next steps (1 Corinthians 6:1–8).
10. How do His disciples respond in verse 10?
READ 1 CORINTHIANS 7:10–11
11. What instruction does Paul give to married believers?
POINT OF INTEREST: Divorce is either sinful or the result of sin. Sin separates. Those who continue in sin cause separation. Divorce is often making legal what has already happened relationally (covenantally).
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE
GENESIS 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Day Four
THE FALL: THE ORIGINS OF SIN AND SUFFERING
JOHN 10:10
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
READ GENESIS 3:1–24
1. What do we learn about the serpent in verse 1? Why might we suspect that this is more than a mere snake?
REVELATION 20:2
And he seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years.
2. What does the serpent challenge (v. 1)? The enemy baits the woman, drawing her in by making an overstatement. How does he overstate or twist what God had said?
3. What does the woman’s attempt to clarify reveal about her belief/understanding of God’s command to Adam? What is different?
4. Hearing the uncertainty in her voice, the serpent seizes his opportunity and he plants the seed of deception. What lie does he sow in Eve’s heart?
5. What is the serpent suggesting to the woman about the character and nature of God (v. 5)?
6. What reasoning does the woman use when she ingests the lie and makes the decision to eat the fruit in verse 6? What does she not consider in her decision?
POINT OF INTEREST: Temptation wouldn’t be tempting if it didn’t look good. Satan makes something evil look good. The anatomy of temptation involves real personal evil (Satan and demons) enticing the flesh through the world.
7. Using the above point, list the elements of temptation in this story:
– Real evil:
– Enticing the flesh:
– Manipulating God’s creation:
8. Where is Adam during this exchange (v 6)? Instead of following God’s instruction, what does Adam do (v. 17)?
9. What do Adam and Eve exchange the goodness and glory of God for?
ROMANS 1:25
They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.
10. How did they attempt to remedy their own nakedness (v. 7)? Did it work (v. 10)?
11. Where does this leave the man and his wife in relationship with God (v. 8)? Why (v. 10)?
12. As a result of their disobedience, how will pain and suffering be evident in their lives?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE
ROMANS 5:12
Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned.
Day Five
THE REMEDY FOR INSANITY
RE-READ GENESIS 3:8–24
1. We tend to avoid God and His word when we are in sin. God however, pursues that which He loves. In his pursuit of the man and the woman, does he appear to be panicked?
2. What question does God ask the man initially (v. 9)?
3. How does the man’s response reveal something has gone terribly wrong? (Compare to Genesis 2:25.)
4. What two follow-up questions does God ask the man?
5. How does Adam respond to these two questions? What is the story he tells (the context of his rebellion)? Are there any inaccuracies in his account? Does he take responsibility for his part (v. 12)? Where does God turn next (v. 13)?
6. What question does God ask the woman?
7. How does Eve respond? What story does she tell? Are there any inaccuracies in her account? Does she confess her part? Where does God turn next?
8. Who does God curse in verse 14?
9. What cosmic conflict is described in verse 15? What is known about her offspring?
GLIMPSE OF THE GOSPEL: Verse 15 is considered by scholars as the protoevangelium or “first gospel.” Some consider it the first prophecy of the coming Messiah, fulfilled in Jesus Christ.
10. What meaning is behind Adam’s naming his wife Eve (v. 20)? What does God say in verse 15 that might lead Adam to give her such a name? Would that suggest belief or unbelief in the “first gospel”?
11. What is the covering that God provides for Adam and Eve? Why do you think He chose this covering?
GLIMPSE OF THE GOSPEL: Animal skins require the shedding of blood. This foreshadows the Old Testament sacrificial system for the atonement of sin through the shedding of innocent blood. Jesus became the perfect, sinless sacrifice to take away the sins of the world.
ROMANS 5:12
Indeed, under the law almost everything is purified with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins.
Day Six
ANOTHER WAY?
READ GENESIS 4:1–7
1. Compare and contrast the two brothers’ work.
2. What offerings did each bring?
3. What did God have regard for (v. 4)? What did he not have regard for?
POINT OF INTEREST: Did you notice how God saw both the offering and the person’s heart/motivations behind their chosen offering?
By faith Abel offered to God a more acceptable sacrifice than Cain, through which he was commended as righteous, God commending him by accepting his gifts. And through his faith, though he died, he still speaks.
4. How does Cain respond to the rejection of the works of his own hands?
5. How does God encourage Cain to come to Him a different way (repent)?
6. How is Cain’s response to God’s questioning different from Adam’s (Genesis 3:12)?
GLIMPSE OF THE GOSPEL: The invitation to acceptance could be heard with a religious lens to try harder or a gospel lens to repent of the works of our own hands and trust in Christ’s perfect sacrifice.
7. What is Cain’s response to the Lord’s discipline (v. 12-13)? Who is Cain still most concerned about?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE
HEBREWS 12:11
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
POINT OF INTEREST: Dead religion consists of man’s vain attempts to appease God through the works of his own hands. Christianity is turning from our dead works and trusting in the finished work of Christ.
8. Looking at verses 15-16, how was the Lord gracious to Cain, despite Cain’s continued rebellion and self-interest?
Day Seven
MENTORSHIP DISCUSSION PREP
1. Day one introduces us to a creation that was initially empty, dark and disordered. To what degree do these describe your life? If they don’t, what words would describe your life?
2. We were also introduced to our Creator who, by His word, brought order, life and light to His creation. Do you believe that He is doing this among us? Why or why not?
3. We believe evidence of God’s love, pursuit of and plan for you is why you are sitting under God’s word in this study. How is your heart responding to that pursuit? Are you listening and receiving or rejecting?
4. According to the creation account, a thriving human being is to live in a loving, dependent relationship with his Creator. In what ways have you looked to the creation rather than the Creator (for care, direction, protection, provision, power, satisfaction, comfort, security, stability, hope, happiness, purpose, identity, meaning and value)?
“For
my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.”
5. Describe your current suffering. How are you responding?
6. God created us to be in loving relationships with Himself and others. Describe your close community and friends. Do you reach out to others when you need help? Why or why not? Where do they point you for hope?
7. In what ways do you disregard God’s voice and follow another voice in pursuit of your own desires?
8. What are the “fig leaves” in your life — ways you have tried to remedy the problem of sin with external solutions (religious activity, performance, possessions, power, personality, people, posterity, positions, etc.)?
9. How have you attempted to justify yourself (value, worth, etc.) before God and others?
I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.
10. Our self-reliant attempts to manage our sin or to control others’ sin reveals that we believe we are powerful enough to fix the problem. Understanding the magnitude of the problem helps us to see it is beyond us. Have you admitted that you are powerless and defeated apart from Christ? Do your actions reflect this? How so?
GALATIANS 2:21
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 1
Man, in relationship to his Creator, has fallen from a place of dignity, humility and dependence to a state of depravity, pride and rebellion. This has led to unfathomable suffering. Any attempts on our own to redeem ourselves are futile, only increasing the problem of independence and self-sufficiency. Any perceived success leads only to empty vanity. Apart from Christ, we admitted we are powerless to overcome sin (ours and others), and our attempts to control it only increase our chaos.
EPHESIANS 2:1–3
And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.
11. As we examine our lives through the lens of scripture it helps us to see what is most true. In light of what we have covered this week, what prayer would you like to offer to God about where you are at?
The Beginning: Creation and Fall
When we are properly aligned, everything else will fall into place.
“What you think about when you think about God is the most important thing about you.”
– A.W. Tozer
Our perception and understanding of God significantly shapes who we are and how we live our lives.
GENESIS 1:1
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.
There is only one God, and He alone __________________ all things.
God is the Sovereign, creative God.
He is the One who starts/begins, and is the active Agent in everything.
His words have power!
God is careful, intentional, and mindful of His creation.
GENESIS 1:2-4
The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness.
There’s a response that God has to His creation: It was _____________.
God is the One who is defining what is good.
He creates with purpose, order, and boundaries.
GENESIS 1:26-28
Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
God endows and bestows a _________________ and a _________________ on this special part of creation known as man and woman.
Humans are bearers of God’s image. Our lives matter and have dignity. Why? Because of God’s designation and gift. Not because of anything we’ve done or can do. We matter and we are significant!
GENESIS 2:15-17
The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”
In His authority, God is establishing _______________________ and giving instructions for how humanity can flourish.
How do we flourish? Obedience to God’s authority. But there is one who will challenge God’s authority and trustworthiness …
GENESIS 3:1b;4b
“Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” … “You will not surely die.”
The enemy of God begins to undermine the trustworthiness and character of God.
The Sadness:
Despite what you think and can reason within your own capabilities, God calls us to trust Him . You are made in the image of God!
In Genesis 3, we see that Adam and Eve begin to hide. Shame enters the world. Disordered creation is now a reality. Death and decay are here, and there is a separation (distance) between God and His precious creation.
The Hope: Genesis 3:15 – God’s plan will come to fruition through Jesus!
The Bible is laying forth a correct __________________ of what has gone awry in the world, and in your heart and mine.
God created humanity for a purpose: to ________________ to Him and ________________ Him and _______________ Him forever.
Problem: Sin is blocking us from our purpose. We’re stuck or blind.
1 JOHN 3:4
Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness.
You and I, since the fall, have been in a posture and a position of __________________ and enmity against the true God.
Turning away from God has created division, offense and insubordination.
We’ve been searching for purposes in things that are empty.
ROMANS 6:23a
For the wages of sin is death
What you and I have earned because of our sin, what we deserve because of sin, is __________________ .
This death is both physical and spiritual.
Death does not end with our life in this world. There is an eternal aspect to our existence – where and how we spend eternity (with or apart from God).
An eternal punishment is just because there’s a holy and righteous God we have __________________ .
Perhaps we do not understand how deep the offense of our sins are.
EPHESIANS 2:1-3
And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.
Sin is not simply _______________ you do. It’s _______________ you are. We cannot fundamentally change who we are. There is nothing we can do.
I am a child of __________________ and I have been since the beginning.
When we rail against what God is saying, we act like the serpent and undermine the authority and trustworthiness of God’s Word.
I need a __________________.
God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. He not only created, but He re-creates.
THOMAS WATSON:
“Til sin be bitter, Christ will not be sweet.”
Until we realize how bad our sin is, we will not understand the extent of the rescue operation God has entered into for our sake.
To the beautiful, God says “You’re __________________”
To the broken, God says He’s in the business of __________________ .
Your next Mentor meeting will cover contents from the Day 7 homework a few pages back, as well as anything from today’s lesson and group conversation.
WEEK TWO
The Remedy: The Gospel
Day One THE LAW
The law helps us to see where we are operating outside of God’s intended design. Though God is moral, moralism (mere outward obedience to the law) is not a remedy for sin. The law cannot heal nor does it provide the means of grace for us to be reconciled to God.
READ DEUTERONOMY 5:1–22
These verses contain the Ten Commandments that God gave Moses at Mount Sinai. Man, apart from God’s grace, will relate to God’s law by either rebelling against it or attempting to adhere to it through his own efforts. Both approaches miss the grace of God needed to be reconciled to Him, as each attempts to remedy the problem of sin independent of God.
ROMANS 3:20
For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin.
1. According to Romans 3:20, what comes through the law? Will any fallen human be able to have right standing before God by merely trying to obey the law?
READ MATTHEW 5:17–48
2. According to verse 17, why did Christ come? What does this mean for us?
GLIMPSE OF THE GOSPEL: Jesus engages a misunderstanding and misapplication of the law by giving a more robust understanding of the law. In doing so, He orients us around Himself as the one who fulfills the righteous requirement of the law. At the same time, He is calling His people to a greater righteousness than that of the Pharisees (outward righteousness).
MATTHEW 23:27
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness.”
3. In verse 27 of Matthew 5, Jesus quotes the law. Verse 28 reveals the spirit behind the Law. Looking at the last word of verse 28, what does Jesus address?
4. Complete the following chart based on Matthew 5:21-43. First, observe what Jesus says. Then honestly evaluate your own heart and circle the verdict in column 4. Finally, what application is Jesus asking of you?
I
Day Two
THE EXTENT OF GOD’S JUSTICE AND MAN’S SIN
READ GENESIS 6:5–22
1. What was the state of the world and the condition of man’s heart (v. 5)?
2. What was God’s heart toward this condition (v. 6)?
3. According to the narrative of Noah and the flood, what is God’s good and righteous judgment against sin (vv. 7, 13, 17)?
POINT OF INTEREST: God is holy and just. God is right to punish sin.
4. Why does God preserve Noah’s life (v.9)?
By faith Noah, being warned by God concerning events as yet unseen, in reverent fear constructed an ark for the saving of his household. By this he condemned the world and became an heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.”
5. How is Noah’s faith demonstrated?
6. How does the reality of hell demonstrate the holiness and justice of God and how He views sin (Matthew 13:47–50; 25:31–46)?
7. What does the cross of Christ communicate about the justice of God and how far He is willing to go in order to eradicate evil (sin) and injustice as well as preserve His people?
“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.”
READ ROMANS 1:18–2:3
8. How does mankind “by their unrighteousness suppress the truth” (vv. 21–23)?
9. What does this produce (vv. 29–31)?
10. In response to their actions, how does God carry out His wrath? What does He give them over to (vv. 24, 26, 28)?
11. Romans 2:1–3 addresses the self-righteous. How does God respond to the attitude that says, “Thank you that I am not like them” (Luke 18:9–14)?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSES
ROMANS 3:23
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
ROMANS 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
GLIMPSE OF THE GOSPEL: The law can bring justice outwardly but only the gospel can reconcile our hearts to His.
Day Three
PROPHECY – THE SUFFERING
SERVANT
The Old Testament is filled with shadows, types, promises and prophecies of the coming Redeemer (Jesus). It helps us to recognize what will be true of Him, that we might recognize Him in His coming.
PHILIPPIANS 2:8–9
And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name.
READ ISAIAH 52:13–53:12
POINT OF INTEREST: The idea behind “so shall he sprinkle many nations” looks forward to the cleansing made available through Jesus’ atoning work.
FOR FURTHER STUDY: Ministry of sprinkling — Exodus 29:21; Leviticus 4:1–21; 14:7; 16:14–19; Hebrews 9:13–14, 19–22; 10:19–22; 12:22–24; 1 Peter 1:2.
1. Why might it have been difficult to put your hope in Christ based on appearance alone (verses 52:14 and 53:2)?
2. What was it like to be in His shoes (v. 53:3)?
3. Why was He wounded and crushed (v. 53:5)?
4. How did Jesus respond to those who hated Him (v. 53:7)?
1 PETER 2:23
When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.
5. Though He was crucified between two criminals and buried in a rich man’s tomb, what was true about Jesus (v 53:9)?
MATTHEW 27:38
Then two robbers were crucified with him, one on the right and one on the left.
6. What was God’s will for the servant (v. 53:10)?
7. After God’s will was fulfilled, what would the suffering servant see (v. 10–11)?
8. How is this possible if the suffering servant is killed?
POINT OF INTEREST: Isaiah wrote this prophecy approximately 700 years before the suffering servant entered the world.
READ ISAIAH 54–55
9. According to chapter 54, what hope might the good news of the gospel bring to someone suffering physically, specifically those struggling with infertility (vv. 1–3) or the loss of a spouse (vv. 4–6)?
PSALM 68:5–6
Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.
10. In light of the hope that this good news brings, what is the invitation in chapter 55?
JOHN 4:13–14
Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.
Day Four
HOPE – LIGHT COMES INTO THE WORLD
READ JOHN 1:1–18
The Word became flesh. Jesus brings light to the darkness, order to our disordered hearts and lives and fills us with the life of Christ.
1. In what ways does this text sound familiar? See Genesis 1:1.
2. Who is the Word (vv. 1, 14)?
3. Where was He during creation (v. 2)?
4. What was done “through Him” (v. 3)?
5. What is “in Him” (v. 4)?
6. What is “the life” (v. 4)?
7. Where can we find hope in our darkness?
8. To whom does the true light give the right to become children of God (v. 12)?
9. On what basis does the true Light give the right to become children of God (v. 13)?
JOHN 3:5
Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.”
10. How can we know God?
11. What invitation does Jesus give in verses 39 and 43?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE
JOHN 3:8
The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.
Day Five
MERCY TRIUMPHS OVER JUDGMENT
EXODUS 34:6–7
The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”
READ JOHN 8:3-12
1. Who is brought to Jesus? Why was she brought to Him? What did they want from Him?
2. How must she have felt?
3. According to the law, what penalty is she facing (v. 5)?
4. What does Jesus do when He bends down (v. 6)?
EXODUS 31:18
And He gave to Moses, when He had finished speaking with him on Mount Sinai, the two tablets of the testimony, tablets of stone, written with the finger of God.
5. How does Jesus disqualify those who may be tempted to bring judgment against the woman (v. 7)?
6. How is Jesus uniquely qualified to bring judgment or extend mercy?
For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.”
7. What does Jesus not do in verse 11?
8. In extending mercy, what does Jesus command her to do?
9. In verse 12, who does Jesus claim to be?
10. How does the story of the woman caught in adultery point to this?
11. Who will have the light of life (v. 12)?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE
JOHN 3:17
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
Day Six TO AN UNKNOWN GOD
READ ACTS 17:16–34
Paul’s spirit is troubled because of the idols represented in the beautiful architecture around the city of Athens. These were symbolic of the heart of the people who were worshiping demons rather than God. Because there were so many false gods being portrayed, Paul found himself compelled to reveal the known God to those who did not know Him (and were giving honor to an altar of “the unknown god”). The philosophers called him a babbler—someone who picks at various ideas without understanding them and with no real message.
1 CORINTHIANS 1:18
For the word of the cross is folly for those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.
1. Does it appear the people were sincerely interested in the gospel or merely just into learning about it?
2 TIMOTHY 3:7
Always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.
2. In verse 28, Paul engages the culture, quoting their own poets. Rather than arguing with them, he says that if what they are saying is true, what else must be true? What should not be worshiped?
3. In what three ways does Paul’s audience respond?
4. The vague pluralistic spirituality that existed in Athens (Acts 17) resulted in the Athenians devoting themselves to empty religious activities serving imaginary “gods.” Is it wise to choose your own conception of God? What is the danger?
5. Many times we operate in the moment out of our feelings and patterns established over time rather than what we know or believe deeply to be true. This highlights a gap between our brain and our heart, so to speak. The way we react spontaneously to statements about God and ourselves can tell us where we might be misaligned in our view of the Creator and the way He created us. If we are out of alignment foundationally, the ripple effect can become noticeable. Consider taking this evaluation called “The Concept of God.” Each of the questions will ask you to complete a simple sentence. Don’t attempt to write the correct answer. Simply write the first thing that comes to your mind. Later on when you meet with your Mentor, you will begin to see where you may be operating out of a misconception of God and yourself.
See Appendix B for the Concept of God Worksheet
Day Seven
MENTORSHIP DISCUSSION PREP
1. If your heart wants to follow God’s perfect law but it ends up disobeying God, how heavy does this feel to you?
2. Judgment and hell are unpleasant realities we tend to avoid and dismiss. How do these realities add weight to our sin? How does this help us see the love of God in what Jesus suffered for us? What is happening in your heart?
3. In what ways do you suppress the truth or live in denial? See Romans 1:18.
4. How do you relate to the law? In your sinful nature, are you fairly moral with a tendency to look down on others who are not as good or do you tend to disregard it?
Where are you on the spectrum of law and grace? (Circle the dots where you tend to naturally operate.)
My righteousness comes from obeying the law. (I tend toward legalism)
Jesus paid it all so sin isn’t a big deal. (I tend toward mercy and grace)
ROMANS 7:18
For
I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh.
5. If the antidote to unrighteousness is not self-righteousness, what is it?
MATTHEW
5:17
Do not think I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.
6. What about Christ and the gospel did you find beautiful this week?
7. In the past, to what or whom did you look to satisfy your thirst (Isaiah 55:1–2)? In what or in whom did you place your trust?
EXTRA OPPORTUNITY:
Many times we operate in the moment out of our feelings and patterns established over time rather than what we know or believe deeply to be true. This highlights a gap between our brain and our heart, so to speak. The way we react spontaneously to statements about God and ourselves can tell us where we might be misaligned in our view of the Creator and the way He created us. If we are out of alignment foundationally, the ripple effect can become noticeable. Consider taking this evaluation called “The Concept of God.” Each of the questions will ask you to complete a simple sentence. Don’t attempt to write the correct answer. Simply write the first thing that comes to your mind. Working with your Mentor, you will begin to see where you may be operating out of a misconception of God and yourself.
(See Appendix B for the Concept of God Worksheet)
8. Scripture is clear: We must make a decision about our belief in Jesus. What is our reality if we do nothing and ignore the call of God?
JOHN 3:18
Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.
9. How have you responded to the invitation to trust in the suffering servant, the one who has come so that the world might be saved through Him?
MATTHEW 11:28
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
10. In Acts 17:22–23, Paul says the men of Athens are very religious. Their habits and priorities (whether in the religious centers or in the marketplace) point to what they worship and live for. What do the practices of your life reveal about what you worship and serve?
DEUTERONOMY 5:7–9
You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God.
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 2: God lovingly intervened in our chaos and provided a remedy for the insanity of sin and the way back into fellowship with Him. We believe that by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, we can be redeemed.
EPHESIANS 2:4–9
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ — by grace you have been saved — and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
The Remedy: The Gospel
THE PROBLEM
GOD’S AUTHORITY
God is present with His people who are in the place that He created for them. Man has dependance upon God. This is the design and order for how things were supposed to be.
A rival kingdom is introduced.
All of humanity suffers the consequences.
The “fall” impacts all life.
Humans move from dignity to depravity.
EPHESIANS 2:1-3
And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.
REVELATION 21:1-5
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.”
We are on the other side, but we are longing to be a part of the new creation.
We need someone to help us.
SOLUTIONS
The world will come in and offer a false solution, a false hope, a false ________________ . (or, a false solution)
Some of the false solutions or counterfeit gospels we tend to believe:
I am good.
I am a good person. I’m not as bad as that person.
As long as you have some belief in a higher power, you’re alright.
Something other than God is ruling and reigning over our hearts and lives.
The standard we have to live up to is the perfection of our Creator God.
But all have sinned and fall short. (Romans 3:23)
Am I believing in God rightly, as He has revealed Himself?
We are held accountable for believing God rightly.
We need rescue from the real thing. A counterfeit won’t work. (Ephesians 2:4-7)
Redemption – The ________________ purchased through a ransom, paid by a redeemer on behalf of the enslaved.
EPHESIANS 2:4-9
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
There was an amount that we owed because of being enslaved to sin. Jesus, on the cross, paid the price for our freedom and ________________ us.
The implications of when the gospel takes root in the human heart (regardless of the idol) can be revealed through more deeply understanding a popular cycle diagram on the next page.
A picture of the life of sin. (Ephesians 2:1) Stuck in a cycle that will never satisfy.
Insanity –
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
THE HEART OF THE PROBLEM:
The Enemy works through the world to entice the flesh, and it reveals that the brokenness is coming from our own ________________ .
In the insanity of running to created things, we are looking to a physical thing to solve a ________________ problem.
Whatever is in that seat of highest worship in our life, we will ________________ and ________________ for it.
The only thing that’s safe in our life is the thing in that place of highest worship in our hearts. Whatever is in that place of primary affection we will pursue it and sacrifice for it, and anything else can be sacrificed on the alter for it.
We can just as easily trade in unrighteousness for self-righteousness when what we really need is ________________ righteousness.
The remedy for this insanity is the redemption that comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ.
ROMANS 5:17
For if, because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.
Jesus enters into the cycle; interrupts the cycle; and offers a real solution, the true ________________ solution.
The offer of redemption is to be set free, not to rule your own life, but redemption by way of getting a better ________________ — Jesus.
Who is on the throne of your heart?
Biblical Truth from Week 2 of Thrive: God lovingly intervened into our chaos and provided a remedy for the insanity of sin and the way back into fellowship with Him. We believe that by grace through faith in Jesus Christ we can be redeemed.
Your next Mentor meeting will cover contents from the Day 7 homework a few pages back, as well as anything from today’s lesson and group conversation.
The Response: Faith and Repentance
Day One FAITH IS
ACTIVE
True belief (faith) in the kindness of God toward us in Christ despite our sin (grace) leads us to repentance, submission, worship, obedience and gratitude.
READ JAMES 2:14–26
1. What is the essential question in verse 14? What practical example is given in verses 15 and 16?
2. How does verse 17 describe faith that does not change how we live?
3. The Bible seems to be calling into question the faith of those who say they believe but that belief has not translated into how they live. What should saving faith produce (not as a basis of salvation but the result of it)?
4. Can works alone save you?
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
5. What example is given of the type of belief that does not save (v. 19)?
6. How is Abraham counted as righteous (v. 23)? What action was the result (v. 21)?
POINT OF INTEREST: Read Genesis 22:1-14 for a fuller understanding of what James is referencing here.
7. What two other things does verse 26 compare to “faith apart from works”?
8. What do you learn about the relationship between faith and works in this passage?
ROMANS 5:1
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Day Two FEAR OF THE LORD
PROVERBS 9:10
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
READ ISAIAH 6:1–13
1. How does verse 1 describe the Lord?
2. What posture do the seraphim (angels) exhibit in the Lord’s presence?
3. What are the angels singing to one another? Whom are they worshiping? Define holy.
POINT OF INTEREST: The ESV Study Bible note on Isaiah 6:3 says “his glory” is a “technical term for God’s manifest presence with his covenant people.”
4. Describe Isaiah’s experience in the presence of the Lord (v. 4).
5. What does Isaiah realize about himself in the presence of the holiness and glory of God (v.5)?
Humility is the proper estimate of oneself. CHARLES SPURGEON
6. How does the Lord extend grace in response to Isaiah’s humility (v. 7)?
1 PETER 5:5
Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
7. What can we understand about God’s character and nature from this text?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE
EXODUS 34:6–7
The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”
Day Three
GOD’S LOVE
Jesus came to save sinners.
READ JOHN 3:16–21
1. What did God give so that we might have eternal life (v. 16)? What was the cost of that gift?
2. What in God’s nature and character motivated Him to give us this gift (v. 16)?
3. What would have happened without Jesus’ coming (v. 16)?
4. For what purpose was Jesus sent into the world (v. 17)?
1 JOHN 5:1
Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him.
POINT OF INTEREST: The Greek translation here suggests that true belief in Jesus Christ results from being born of God. Without spiritual rebirth, one cannot truly believe. In this verse, “believes” is present tense and “has been born” is perfect tense. The use of the perfect tense suggests that the action in the past affects the present. Being born of God is the foundation and cause of believing in Christ. Believing is the effect or result of being born of God. One does not believe unless he or she has been “born again.”
5. What is true about those who believe in Christ? What is true of those who actively reject Christ?
6. According to verses 19–20, how will unbelievers continue to live?
7. How will true believers respond to the light?
1 JOHN 4:9
In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.
Day Four REPENTANCE
JOEL 2:12–13
“Yet even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster.
READ LUKE 15
1. Who draws near to hear Jesus? Who stands on the outside grumbling (vv. 1-2)?
2. What are the scribes and Pharisees accusing Jesus of doing? How is the accusation of the self-righteous good news for sinners?
3. The parable continues for three sections. What occurs following repentance in each of the three sections?
4. Focusing on the third section, how many sons are we introduced to?
5. What is noteworthy about the younger son’s words to his father? Is he more interested in relationship with the father or his stuff?
6. What does the younger son do with his inheritance?
7. What are the consequences of his rebellion (vv. 14–16)?
PHILIPPIANS 3:19
Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.
8. What do you think the phrase, “he came to himself,” means?
9. How does he see himself differently as reflected in his speech?
10. How does his father receive him?
11. What does he receive from his father?
POINT OF INTEREST: The robe provides a covering for his filth and shame. The ring signifies that he belongs to his family, and his shoes symbolize that he is a son, not a slave.
12. Whose blood is shed?
GLIMPSE OF THE GOSPEL: In reading the parable of the prodigal son, we sometimes overlook the cost of the celebration — the life of the fattened calf. The shed blood of an innocent calf reminds us that our reconciliation with God comes at a price: the precious, innocent Lamb of God. This calf symbolizes the sufficiency of Christ as a portion for many. The older son (the self-righteous) does not seem to value the prized calf in the same way — “you never gave me a goat” — but speaks of it without regard for the treasure it is (as with Christ).
13. The older brother represents the self-righteous — those who believe they “need no repentance.” Where does the older brother end up during the celebration? How does the father respond to his older son’s anger?
14. How does the older brother justify himself?
ROMANS 2:4
Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?
15. Is the older brother more interested in a relationship with his father or his father’s stuff?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE
2 CORINTHIANS 7:10
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
BONUS:
Which elements of the story do you identify with as they pertain to relationships?
o I value the gifts more than the relationship.
o I want benefits, not responsibility.
o I am entitled to provision, protection … or just whatever I want.
o I’m experiencing consequences from my choices.
o I’m wasting resources on myself, my desires, etc.
o I’m running out of solutions.
o I’m experiencing an intense longing I cannot fulfill.
o I feel unclean, shameful, low
(Younger Brother)
o I am ready to turn around (repent).
o I’m willing to accept consequences
o I feel accepted and am forgiven by the primary One I offended.
o I am humble and apologetic.
o I am being provided and cared for in spite of what I’ve done.
o I’m being celebrated for repenting!
(Older Brother)
o I don’t need saving.
o I am angry about the path of repentance.
o I refuse to draw near.
o I cling to the rules/law.
o I am good enough to figure this out on my own. (self-righteous performance)
o This isn’t fair. They owe me
Day Five
JESUS PROMISES THE HOLY SPIRIT
EZEKIEL 36:25–27
I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.
READ JOHN 14:15–31
1. What is the evidence of our love for Christ (v. 15)?
2. If we are powerless to do this apart from Him, how does God help the believer do these things (v. 16)?
3. Where does this Spirit dwell (v. 17)?
4. What does God promise His disciples (v. 18)?
5. Since Christ is alive, what is true for those in Christ?
6. What does “the Spirit of truth” allow us to know?
1 CORINTHIANS 2:12–13
Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual.
7. How will Christ manifest Himself to those who love Him but not to the world (v. 23)?
8. Christ acknowledges these things while He is still with His disciples. Whom does He identify as the Helper to make them alive in Christ (v. 26)?
9. What event does Christ hint at in the last verses? Who commands this to happen?
ACTS 2:38
And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”
Day Six
A NEW COVENANT
POINT OF INTEREST: A covenant in ancient times was a common way in which families or communities extended their blood relationships or permanent alliances to one another. It was a useful tactic that provided strength and resources, but it also meant treating each other like family—as you would a blood relative. It’s a promise that supersedes the other party holding up their end of the bargain. In other words, a covenant is an unconditional arrangement where all parties agree to support one another and pursue reconciliation, regardless of fairness or circumstances. A biblical covenant is one in which God is also a party, and His promise to never leave or forsake His people (Deuteronomy 31:6) assures us that special covenantal relationships with God are permanent—never to be broken.
JEREMIAH 31:31–33
Behold, the days are coming, declares the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the LORD. But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the LORD: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
READ 2 CORINTHIANS 3:1–4:6
CHAPTER 3
1. What is the “letter from Christ” in verses 2-3? Who wrote it? Where and on what did they write it?
2. God makes us competent to be ministers of what (v. 6)?
3. Compare and contrast how Paul describes the old and new covenants.
4. According to verse 14, who is the only one who can bring us out from under the old covenant?
5. What remains over the hearts of those who are under the old covenant?
6. What is true about those who behold the Lord with unveiled faces?
CHAPTER 4
7. Having received this ministry, what do we not do (v. 1)? What do we do (v. 2)?
8. What is true about those to whom the gospel is veiled?
9. According to verse 5, what do we proclaim? What do we not proclaim?
10. If God can shine light out of darkness, what hope does this bring to His ability to illuminate unbelieving hearts to the gospel?
1 CORINTHIANS 11:25
In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.
Day Seven
MENTORSHIP DISCUSSION PREP
1. If you have received the gift of faith, how has that led to a heartfelt desire to be obedient to God?
2. Describe any experiences where God’s presence and power humbled you.
3. Describe how the reality of God’s love has affected your life.
4. What of God’s character have you come to know as you have walked with Him?
5. To whom or to what do you point for your justification? Or to put it another way, how do you attempt to justify yourself to others?
6. What is your attitude toward God?
7. What is your view of mankind?
8. Define repentance. What has been your response to the call to repent? Why?
MATTHEW 3:8
Bear fruit in keeping with repentance.
9. What evidence of spiritual rebirth do you see in your life?
10. Have you responded to the gospel in faith by repenting of your sins and trusting in the finished work of Christ? Have you accepted His invitation to follow Him, forsaking all others? If yes, describe the process. If no, why?
2 CORINTHIANS 5:15
He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.
ROMANS 12:1
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 3: Through the Holy Spirit’s illumination of our desperate and helpless condition before God and the hope that comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ, we step out in faith and repent as an act of worship and obedience, surrendering our will and entrusting our lives to Christ’s care and control. We are reborn spiritually and rescued from the domain of darkness and brought into the kingdom of light, where we now live as a part of Christ’s ever advancing kingdom.
11. Scripture gives us a lens to see where we stand before God. We cannot have right standing through our works. We can only have right standing surrendered to Christ. What honest prayer do you need to offer up to God?
GODLY
REPENTANCE VERTICAL
My sin is first and foremost against God. (Psalm 51:4)
FOCUSED ON GOD & OTHERS
Looking for my sin and their pain SPIRITUAL
My heart is humble and softened. (contrite; Psalm 51:17) WILLING
… to do whatever is asked of me. (Is. 6:8) ACTIVE
Seeks obedience HOPEFUL
Looking forward kto the future of God’s beautiful, coming gift. GRATEFUL
Oriented toward the good change in my heart.
PERSEVERING
Seeks a path away from sin. HUMBLE
Unworthy of God’s gift; accepts consequences.
WORLDLY SORROW (false repentance) HORIZONTAL
Oriented toward circumstances (what’s going on around me)
FOCUSED ON SELF
Looking at my pain and their sin (self-pity) EMOTIONAL
Fickle and reactionary; ever-changing DEMANDING
I will do this, but not that. PASSIVE
Wants an easy solution HOPELESS
Looking backward; perhaps reminiscing over the feelings of the sin.
BEGRUDGING
Bitterly holding onto expectations of me being exalted.
TEMPORARY
No real heart change; will ultimately return. PRIDEFUL
Angry and avoids responsibility or consequences.
The Response: Faith and Repentance
Creation > The Fall/Sin > Redemption > Tonight: What does this mean for the individual?
Jesus is not just an add-on to our lives. He is the God of the universe, the ultimate Designer, and He has a purpose and a plan for us. We were bought with a price. (1 Cor. 6:20)
We have treated the gospel cheaply, while the gospel is actually __________ . We have treated grace cheaply when grace is ____________ .
If sin isn’t serious, grace is not that great. | But sin is serious, so grace is great.
Choices we learned about last week as we respond to the ‘dis-ease’ of life (Insanity Cycle):
Run to something else for comfort (coping)
Run to God (repenting)
THE GOSPEL OFFER
ROMANS 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
The gospel — the good news — is that God did not leave us in that state but rather did act, did __________________ . And His intervention was in His son, Jesus Christ.
The good news is that in the offering of Jesus Christ — life that was righteous, sacrificed for our sake — we are __________________ by grace through faith.
Purified does not mean we are no longer capable of sinning. It is also not a license to continue sinning.
Rather, it means we are free from those things that formerly enslaved us.
2 CORINTHIANS 5:21
For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
You cannot love ____________ and love God.
THE OPTION OF REPENTANCE
God has commanded all of us, in light of our sin, to repent.
Original Hebrew word: teshuvah ( הבָוּשׁתְּ ) literally meaning: to return; or to turn around.
Grace is not permission to run after things and not worry about ramifications or consequences; but rather, grace is a call out of those things to repent and to ________________ .
We will either run to worldly sorrow (where we will be perpetually stuck in a cycle),
or we will run to sorrow that produces repentance (where we will be without regret).
2 CORINTHIANS
7:10
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
Worldly Grief > Trapped in “Insanity Cycle” > Death (Judas example)
Read Luke 15:1-2 (Pharisees), 11-24 (Younger Brother), 25-32 (Older Brother)
Which elements of the story do you identify with as they pertain to relationships?
o I value the gifts more than the relationship.
o I want benefits, not responsibility.
o I am entitled to provision, protection … or just whatever I want.
o I’m experiencing consequences from my choices.
o I’m wasting resources on myself, my desires, etc.
o I’m running out of solutions.
o I’m experiencing an intense longing I cannot fulfill.
o I feel unclean, shameful, low
(Younger Brother)
o I am ready to turn around (repent).
o I’m willing to accept consequences
o I feel accepted and am forgiven by the primary One I offended.
o I am humble and apologetic.
o I am being provided and cared for in spite of what I’ve done.
o I’m being celebrated for repenting!
(Older Brother)
o I don’t need saving.
o I am angry about the path of repentance.
o I refuse to draw near.
o I cling to the rules/law.
o I am good enough to figure this out on my own. (self-righteous performance)
o This isn’t fair. They owe me
Our gratitude is contingent on the ________________ of the gift we received. How much gratitude would you have for the One who saved your soul?
GODLY REPENTANCE VERTICAL
My sin is first and foremost against God. (Psalm 51:4)
FOCUSED ON GOD & OTHERS
Looking for my sin and their pain
SPIRITUAL
My heart is humble and softened. (contrite; Psalm 51:17)
WILLING
… to do whatever is asked of me. (Is. 6:8) ACTIVE
Seeks obedience HOPEFUL
Looking forward kto the future of God’s beautiful, coming gift. GRATEFUL
Oriented toward the good change in my heart. PERSEVERING
Seeks a path away from sin. HUMBLE
Unworthy of God’s gift; accepts consequences.
WORLDLY SORROW (false repentance) HORIZONTAL
Oriented toward circumstances (what’s going on around me)
FOCUSED ON SELF
Looking at my pain and their sin (self-pity)
EMOTIONAL
Fickle and reactionary; ever-changing DEMANDING
I will do this, but not that. PASSIVE
Wants an easy solution HOPELESS
Looking backward; perhaps reminiscing over the feelings of the sin.
BEGRUDGING
Bitterly holding onto expectations of me being exalted.
TEMPORARY
No real heart change; will ultimately return. PRIDEFUL
Angry and avoids responsibility or consequences.
We ________________ against temptation in repentance.
I’ve got this! It’s not out of control. It’s not as bad as others think, as it used to be. It’s in my past.
God has not provided you as the escape. God has provided ________________ .
GAMES WE PLAY WHEN FACED WITH SIN:
1. We _____________ the sorrow.
2. We it up.
3. We run to _____________
4. We make .
How will you respond to your sin and God’s grace?
Biblical Truth from Week 3 of Thrive:
Through the Holy Spirit’s illumination of our desperate and helpless condition before God and from the hope that comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ, we step out in faith and repent as an act of worship and obedience, surrendering our will and entrusting our lives to Christ’s care and control. We are reborn spiritually and rescued from the domain of darkness and brought into the kingdom of light, where we now live as a part of Christ’s ever-advancing kingdom..
ROMANS 6:12-13
Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.
ROMANS 8:5-6, 8
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. … Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
Jesus can interrupt your insanity at any moment!
1 CORINTHIANS 10:13-14
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.
Repentance starts with understanding that God ________________ and I don’t, that God is ________________ and I am finite.
PROVERBS 1:7
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
EVIDENCE OF FAITH
Saving faith in Jesus comes from surrendering and turning around. There is eventually visible evidence (fruit), but these heart motivations (roots) are where the beliefs originate.
Remember the connection that the fruit of our lives has with the root of our motivations …
Your next Mentor meeting will cover contents from the Day 7 homework a few pages back, as well as anything from today’s lesson and group conversation.
WEEK FOUR
The Result: Justification, Adoption, and Sanctification
Day One
GOSPEL TRUTHS
READ ROMANS 8
1. What is true about those who are in Christ (v. 1)? Why (v. 2)? How (v. 3)? For what purpose (v. 4)?
2. How is this evident in the lives of those in Christ (v. 4)?
GALATIANS 5:22–23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
3. Where do those in Christ set their minds? What does this lead to (vv. 5–6)?
POINT OF INTEREST: Being conformed to the image of Christ (v. 29) is a process called sanctification. Sanctification has two parts — (mortification) putting to death those things that rob us of our affections for Christ and hinder our reflection of Him (v. 14), and (vivification) filling ourselves with those things that stir our affections for Christ and enable us to reflect Him (vv. 5–6).
4. How do we know if we belong to God (v. 9)?
5. What is the result of this (v. 11)?
6. If you live by the Spirit, what will you do and what will be the result (v. 13)?
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
7. What does Romans 8:14 reveal about our identity?
POINT OF INTEREST: Adoption is an act of God, bringing us into His family. His relationship to us is now one of a loving father.
8. How is this adoption confirmed by the Spirit (v. 16)?
9. If we are children of God, what is also true about us (v. 17)?
10. What future glory do we await in our present suffering? How does this present suffering compare to our future glory (vv. 18–19)?
POINT OF INTEREST: Verse 23 says part of this future glory is the redemption of our bodies, which means resurrection from the dead and the transformation of those alive in Christ in glorious bodies, reigning and living with Him forever, serving Him and giving Him unending praise and glory. Reference 1 Corinthians 15.
11. What help do we have in our suffering (v. 26)?
12. What is true about those who love God and are called according to His purposes (v. 28)? Does this include suffering? What is the “good” God is doing in verse 29?
13. What sort of “things” are we promised victory over (vv. 35–37)?
14. What can separate us from the love of Christ (vv. 38–39)?
Day Two
THE NEW HEAVEN AND THE NEW EARTH
READ REVELATION 21–22
CHAPTER 21
1. What does John (the author) see in verses 1–2?
2. What declaration is made in verse 3?
3. What will God do in verse 4?
4. What does the person sitting on the throne say in verse 5?
5. What promises does He give in verses 6–7?
6. Who or what is present or absent in the new heavens and new earth?
7. What warning is given to those who reject the gift of life and cling to their former identities (v. 8)?
8. Summarize the description of the new Jerusalem (21:9–22:5)? What makes her radiant (v. 11)?
3:8
Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.
READ 1 PETER 1:3–9
9. According to verse 3, to what have we been born again? Through what?
10. Describe the inheritance mentioned in verse 4. What do these words mean? Through whom is the inheritance kept?
11. What allows us to rejoice during trials?
12. What is the evidence that these are yours by faith?
POINT OF INTEREST: After reminding and rooting his audience in the truths of the gospel, Peter calls them to action (v. 13) as obedient children (v. 14) in the pursuit of holiness (v. 15). Now that we are rooted in gospel truths, we will focus on incorporating gospel pursuits.
Day Three THE WAR WITHIN
READ ROMANS 7:4-25
1. What have we died to and been released from?
2. How do we now serve (v. 6)?
3. What results from living under the law as a sinner (v. 11)?
4. Is the law the problem (vv. 12-14)? If not, what is?
5. How does Paul describe the battle within him (v. 15)?
6. What does Paul know about himself (v. 18)?
7. How does Paul separate the essence of who he is and the sin in him (v. 20)? What then should he war against? What is his reality (v. 21)?
8. What two things are operating in him at the same time (vv. 22–23)?
9. What conclusion does Paul come to (v. 24)? What is his answer to the question (v. 25)?
Day Four
A NEW HEART
READ MATTHEW 15:1–20
1. The scribes and Pharisees established man made rules and said it was sin if people did not uphold them. What tradition do they condemn Jesus and His disciples for failing to follow in verse 2?
2. How does Jesus point out the hypocrisy of the scribes and the Pharisees (vv. 3–6)? What have they elevated above the command of God?
3. How does Isaiah define a hypocrite (vv. 8–9)?
4. Is Jesus teaching that the problem is internal or external (v. 10)?
5. Who does this offend (v. 12)? Why do you think this is offensive to them?
6. What does Jesus suggest about this group of people (vv. 13–14)?
7. What defiles a person? Where does this come from (v. 18)?
EZEKIEL 36:25–27
I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.
8. What is the bad fruit which proceeds from our hearts (v. 19)?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING PSALM
PSALM 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
READ EPHESIANS 4:17–5:2
1. What does Paul instruct in verse 17? Why (vv. 17–21)?
2. What does this text suggest we “put off” and “put on” (vv. 22–24)? How is each described?
ROMANS 6:19
I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification.
3. According to verse 25, what should we put away? What should we do instead?
POINT OF INTEREST: Regeneration, according to Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology, is “an act of God in which he implants new spiritual life to us.”
4. Verse 31 tells us to put away all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander and malice. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal those whom you may be angry or bitter toward. Briefly state why.
5. How does verse 26 say we should handle anger? Why (v. 27)?
6. If we have been given a new life it means we have been given a new nature that should radically change how we live. What example does verse 28 give?
ROMANS 6:1-2
What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?
7. What is God’s remedy for our anger and bitterness toward others (vv. 31–32)?
8. How does this allow us to live as Ephesians 5:1–2 describes?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE
ROMANS 8:13
For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
Day Six
JUSTIFIED BY FAITH! PERFECTED BY LAW?
Justification, according to Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology, is “an instantaneous legal act of God in which he thinks of our sins as forgiven and Christ’s righteousness as belonging to us, and declares us to be righteous in his sight.”
READ GALATIANS 2:15–3:3
1. In verse 16, Paul assures his audience that “no one” will be justified “by the works of the law.” What do you think it means to try to be justified by the works of the law?
2. How can we have right standing with God (v. 16)?
3. What is Paul dead to, according to verse 19? What is he free to do?
ROMANS 7:4
Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God
4. In verse 20, Paul explains how he found that freedom. How did this affect the way he lived?
MARK 8:35
For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.
5. What does justification through the law do (v. 21)?
6. Why does Paul rebuke the church in Galatia in chapter 3:1–3?
7. What does he remind them?
8. How does Paul suggest we will be “perfected” (sanctified and glorified) (v. 3)?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE
PHILIPPIANS 2:13
For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
Day Seven
MENTORSHIP DISCUSSION PREP
1. How do you tend to view suffering in your life? How might the precious truths of Romans 8 shape your views? How might God redeem your specific suffering for His glory and your good?
2. Paul rebuked the church in Galatia for trying to perfect themselves through human effort alone (works). How have you tried to overcome sin by trying harder instead of seeking God and trusting the Spirit’s work in you (grace)? How specifically does this look in your life?
3. Where have you excused or placed blame for your ungodly thoughts, behaviors and emotions (examples: family upbringing, suffering and loss, a diagnosis, “the devil made me do it”, blaming others)?
4. If God’s good goal for our lives is to conform us to the image of His Son, is this now your goal? How will you work towards this goal?
5. What reservations do you have about examining your own heart?
PSALM 139:23–24
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!
6. What “grievous ways” has God revealed to you (ways your sin has grieved the heart of God)?
7. Instead of presenting your members for unrighteousness (Romans 6:13), how might you use the same effort, enthusiasm and creativity in presenting yourself to God as an instrument of righteousness?
8. What evidences of the Spirit of God do you see working in you?
9. A changed heart means we move from an attitude of begrudging submission to an honest desire to engage the war going on in our hearts. Where are you as you head into assessments?
10. In your own words, what do each of these gospel truths mean for you personally?
ADOPTION
JUSTIFICATION
HEIR
SANCTIF ICATION
11. Describe what you envision in the new heavens and new earth? What is present or absent there that your heart longs for?
12. What are your thoughts, concerns, and fears about completing your assessments?
If not ready, why?
What time will you set aside to do them? When will you meet with your mentor to go over them (this may take longer than your previous meetings)?
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 4: As children of God, armed with the Holy Spirit and standing firm in the gospel, we engage in the spiritual battle over the reign and rule of our hearts. God set us apart for holiness, and we look to put to death the areas of our lives that keep us from reflecting Jesus Christ to a dark and dying world. We first examine the fruit in our lives (or moral symptoms). As we move through the assessment process, we will uncover the roots (pride and idolatry) of any ungodly fruit that drive our ungodly thoughts, actions and emotions.
13. Going into assessments, what prayer would you like to offer to God?
14. (Optional) Biblical lament includes getting honest with God about our suffering while being reminded of His presence, truth and promises. What difficulty do you need to get honest about? In your free time, write a psalm to God. Be sure to include truths that speak to your difficulty.
Note: See Appendix G for a worksheet on writing your own psalm of lament.
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSES AS YOU FILL OUT YOUR INVENTORIES:
1 CORINTHIANS 15:3–4
For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures.
The Result: Justification, Adoption, and Sanctification
Creation > The Fall/Sin > Redemption > Repentance > Tonight: What is Salvation?
What makes you a member of the kingdom of God is not the right things you do but the ________________ you receive.
ROMANS 8:29-30
For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
REBIRTH OR REGENERATION:
The Spirit’s work of making us
CONVERSION:
The act of the regenerated person to , to , to ________________ , to place ________________ in the work and the power of God.
JUSTIFICATION:
Declaring .
ADOPTION:
God declares us to be and .
SANCTIFICATION:
The Holy Spirit is empowering us, but we are in God’s work to mature and to grow and to sanctify us.
PASSIVE HEART:
The things on the outside of me are causing me to have joy (or not have joy).
I’m dependent upon circumstances.
Everything around me must change for my happiness.
I’m the victim; The Devil made me do it.
If I hadn’t been a part of this family …
If that person hadn’t done those actions …
MARK 7:10
There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.
ACTIVE HEART:
It’s what comes out of your heart that causes your sins and your actions.
It’s your that must be affected and changed for your joy. It’s your heart that must to fight those sin issues.
The Spirit of God is regenerating, is repairing, is fixing the of our hearts.
GLORIFICATION:
We are already forgiven and already accepted and already declared innocent. There is this of that fully being realized.
Illustration adapted from John Henderson Equipped to Counsel (Association of Biblical Counselors, 2006).
Truth from Week 4:
As children of God armed with the Holy Spirit and standing form in the gospel, we engage in the spiritual battle over the reign and rule of our hearts. God sets us apart for holiness, and we look to put to death the areas of our lives that keep us from reflecting Jesus Christ to a dark and dying world. We first examine the fruit in our lives (or moral symptoms).
As we move through the assessment process, we will uncover the roots of any ungodly fruit (price and idolatry) that drive our ungodly thoughts, actions, and emotions.
Truth as we go into Week 5 (The Invitation):
Under the covering of God’s grace, we step out in faith, leaving behind our old, self-protective ways of covering sin and hiding from God. We prayerfully come into the light, confessing our sings before God and to one another so that we may be healed.
We have to know that under the covering of His grace, we can pursue honesty and transparency and openness about the ways we’ve ________________ against God and others.
ROMANS 8:1-2
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.
ROMANS 8:14-17
For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father! The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
Those that are reborn into the kingdom of God cannot be ________________ .
This process of sanctification can be .
Sanctification is not all ___________
What He’s providing in His spirit is exactly what we ________________ to navigate this sanctification process.
Your next Mentor meeting will cover contents from the Day 7 homework a few pages back, as well as anything from today’s lesson and group conversation.
WEEK FIVE Assessment Prep
Preparing for Assessments
Take time to complete this section prior to beginning assessments.
WEEK 5: PRE-ASSESSMENTS
During this preparation phase you will work through the “Assessment Prep” section and share the answers to questions with your mentor. Over the next few weeks, we will examine the current state of our hearts. We will seek truth through the redemptive lens of the gospel as we move through the assessment process and uncover the roots of our sin.
The following guide takes you through the process of completing an assessment. We recommend that you read the entire guide to familiarize yourself with the process and the materials. We hope it is helpful and useful to you.
Our hope is that, through the assessment process, our hearts would come in line with God’s heart. This happens as our hearts are reconciled to His through repentance of sin and lives empowered by Him. This all falls under what God calls us to as His children in pursuing holiness. Happiness is found through the pursuit of holiness, as sin taints everything.
TIMELINE FOR COMPLETING THE ASSESSMENTS
We have broken the assessments down over a three week period. The first time you work through the process you may find it overwhelming, but focus on the major convictions that hinder your love for God and others.
Below is the suggested order to follow when completing your assessments. It is recommended that you not only set aside time to complete the assessment forms, but schedule two-to-three hour blocks each week with your mentor to share your assessments.
WEEK SIX
Trauma and Suffering Assessment Form
Anger and Resentments Assessment Form
After you complete these assessments, meet with your mentor and share/pray through them.
WEEK SEVEN
Sexual Immorality Assessment Form
Guilt and Shame Assessment Form
After you complete these assessments, meet with your mentor and share/pray through them.
WEEK EIGHT
Fear Assessment Form
Grief Assessment Form
After you complete these assessments, meet with your mentor and share/pray through them.
UTILIZING YOUR MENTOR AND COMMUNITY
Your mentor is your primary support through the assessment process. Let your mentor know when you are doing your assessment so they can be in prayer for you. Call them if you have any questions or difficulties.
Feel free to invite your community, group leaders, family members and friends to pray for you during this season. It is helpful and encouraging to your heart to remember you are not alone. Inviting others into this battle for your healing is such a blessing to extend to them.
Use the space below to write out the names of those you will invite to pray for you during this season.
MAKE COPIES
You may need additional copies of the assessment sheets beyond what we provide. It would be wise to go ahead and make additional copies if you think you might need them.
SET ASIDE AND GUARD THE TIME
Use the chart below to schedule times to complete each assessment.
ASSESSMENTS
TRAUMA AND SUFFERING
PREPARE SHARE
ANGER AND RESENTMENTS
SEXUAL IMMORALITY
GUILT AND SHAME FEAR
GRIEF AND LOSS
Prepare
You must be diligent to set apart time with the Lord to pray and write. The enemy will try to steal the time, so you must guard it.
Share
Set aside time to share your assessments with your mentor. Schedule 2-3 hours each week to cover 2 assessment topics per meeting.
CREATE A FRUITFUL ENVIRONMENT
How you work best
You may prefer to write in a separate notebook, on your computer or on the sheets provided.
Where you work best
You may prefer to do the work early in the morning or late at night. You may prefer to work outside, in your yard, in a coffee shop or at your kitchen table. Create an environment conducive to meeting with the Lord.
BALANCING YOUR ASSESSMENT
If we understand the nature of our hearts apart from Christ, we should not be surprised how dark they can be. It is like looking into the bottom of a dark well. We will have to look up for light.
ROMANS 7:18
For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.
We do not balance our assessments in the traditional sense of listing our good moral behavior against our bad, but we do want to balance our assessments with gospel truths as we engage the battle.
We are in a battle. Hiding in the darkness is the enemy’s domain. It’s time to bring sin into the light for healing.
1 JOHN 1:5–7
This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
What are the benefits of living in the light?
Under the covering of God’s grace, we step out in faith, leaving behind our old, self-protective ways of covering sin and hiding from God. We prayerfully come into the light, confessing our sins before God and to one another so that we may be healed.
You will have to be careful in not getting derailed in sharing assessments with your mentor. It is easy to get bogged down. After sharing, pray the prayer that correlates to that assessment item and move on.
COME TO THE LIGHT EXPECTANTLY
How free do you want to be? Honesty and thoroughness are key to assessments. You must be honest with yourself and God if you have any hope of being honest with others. This is no time for denial or a superficial glancing over.
JEREMIAH 6:14
“‘They have healed the wound of my people lightly, saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace.’”
As we pursue holiness, we must do so from a firm foundation of who we are in Christ and all that He has done and promised. We must remember what is of first importance.
MATTHEW 15:18-19
But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.
The heart is the wellspring of our lives (Prov. 4:23). From it comes ungodly thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Although we can be influenced by our environment (nurture) or our biology (nature), we are ultimately responsible for the fruit that emanates from our hearts. To deny responsibility is to live with a passive heart. In order to grow spiritually, we must take responsibility for what flows from our hearts. Before entering assessments, the concept of the active heart is important to understand.
For example, Eve was influenced by the serpent (the fertile ground of her sin), but she was still responsible for eating the fruit. Adam was influenced by the voice of his wife (Genesis 3:17), but he was still responsible for what came out of his heart (eating the fruit).
The context or fertile ground often makes our sin understandable, but it does not justify it or make it right. These influences can be biological, relational, cultural or spiritual. God has compassion for us amidst the ungodly influences in our lives, while at the same time speaking truth to what is coming out of our hearts (with comfort and even correction when out of step with His heart). By God’s grace and in His timing, we will overcome all the influences in Christ. We will bring Him glory through lives changed by the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Living with a passive heart will keep us stuck because we believe we can’t live fruitful lives unless others and our circumstances change. The Bible teaches us that we can have the fruit of joy (Gal. 5:22) and contentment (Phil. 4:12) even in difficulty through our relationship with Him.
Assessments will help us to see what our responsibility is and what it is not. The enemy is a master of confusing responsibility. Again, we are not responsible for these influences (our lot in life). We are, however, responsible for how we respond to them.
One way we can tell whether we are living passive heartedly is to evaluate what we are focused on changing. Would you say you have been primarily concerned with changing others and your circumstances or being changed by the gospel? Try listing some things you would like to change in the space below.
ARE THESE ACTIVE OR PASSIVE HEART STATEMENTS?
Circle the one that applies
ACTIVE PASSIVE
You make me so angry (feel so guilty, etc.)!
ACTIVE PASSIVE
You gave me fertile ground to get angry, but the anger came from my heart.
ACTIVE PASSIVE The devil made me do it!
ACTIVE PASSIVE The serpent deceived me, and I ate. (Genesis 3:13)
ACTIVE PASSIVE
The woman whom you gave to me, she gave me the fruit and I ate. (Genesis 3:12)
ACTIVE PASSIVE I am grumpy or difficult because I am hungry (hangry) or tired.
ACTIVE PASSIVE I drink because I am anxious. I sin because I am bipolar.
ACTIVE PASSIVE
My anxiety is fertile ground for my choosing to drink.
ACTIVE PASSIVE
My current sinful patterns are because of what I experienced as a child.
Living with a passive heart communicates that we are not responsible for our hearts and keeps us stuck. We will never grow until we take responsibility as that is a part repentance.
In what ways can you see yourself living with a passive heart?
RETHINKING YOUR STORY
In John 5:2-9, we learn the story of a man who encounters healing in Jesus. What is his story? Where has he been seeking healing?
How would you summarize your story before meeting Jesus? What were you pursuing, thinking everything would be okay if achieved?
How has your life changed after encountering Jesus? What now defines your life?
GOSPEL TRUTHS
Read Ephesians chapters 1-3 and note gospel truths. Ephesians 1:
If you are human, there are likely times you are tempted with self-pity or “poor me.” What is the story you tell yourself and others about your life? Does it result in self-pity or does it lead you to seek and rely on Him?
When we are stuck in self-pity, what are we not considering?
How might these truths influence how you tell your story?
Through the assessment process we will learn to apply the richness that the gospel offers.
Ephesians 2:
Verses 1-10 describe the testimony of every believer. What worldly direction were you following before being made alive in Christ? What were your flesh patterns?
What changed according to this verse? How?
For what purpose?
Ephesians 3:
This is the only message worth living for, and the only message that will bring true peace to the world. The message acknowledges our sinfulness and His redemptive love.
At any time we are living out of one of these circles.
The first circle represents us in our lostness. We don’t know God; born into sin we sit on the throne of our own lives seeking the world to satisfy our desires. We live by a self-centered fear to meet our own needs. We attempt to control others, outcomes, and circumstances. This leads to chaos and a lack of fruitfulness.
GALATIANS 5:19–21
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
The second circle represents a Christian that is walking by the flesh. There is some circumstance that has presented itself in which we distrust God and attempt to take back control. This again leads to chaos and a lack of fruitfulness.
GALATIANS 5:16–18
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
The third circle represents a life of faith surrendered to God. We trust in the goodness and plan of God for our lives. We trust He is in control, so we don’t have to be. This leads to faithfulness.
GALATIANS 5:22–23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
The Pattern for Completing an Assessment
ASSESSMENT IS
Learning to examine our hearts, guided by the Holy Spirit
Understanding our problems biblically
snapshot of an event
ASSESSMENT IS NOT
An attempt to document every sin
Seeing how the gospel can be applied specifically
definition of who I am
Your goal is not to write a perfect assessment of every sin you have ever committed, but to discover dysfunctional (sinful) patterns of relating to God, self and others. We want to be free of the things that rob us of our affections for Christ and hinder our ability to live for His kingdom purposes. Through this process we want you to learn how to examine your heart. You can always add to your assessment later.
It is important that we root ourselves in the gospel as we examine the darkness of our hearts. We begin by standing in the truths of the gospel — what Christ has accomplished, what He is accomplishing and what He promises to accomplish. We ask the Holy Spirit to reveal those areas that hinder us from properly relating to God and others as ambassadors in a lost and dying world. We spend time writing what He reveals in our assessment. We must continually remember the gospel, believe the gospel and stand in the gospel so that the enemy does not cause us to stumble.
As we examine the truths about our hearts, why is it important to remember and believe the gospel?
A
A
When We Suffer
In light of Christ’s accomplished work on the cross, and our need to turn toward Him in godly repentance, how should we view suffering?
SUFFERING – PAIN AND HARDSHIP WE FACE IN A FALLEN WORLD
All suffering is a result of sin.
However, not all suffering is sinful. (Not all responses to suffering are sinful.)
Something all Christians have in common: We are __________ , __________ , and __________ .
WHO SUFFERS AND WHERE DOES IT COME FROM?
__________ people suffer because we live in a fallen world.
Natural disasters; floods, famines, earthquakes, tornados, etc.
Disease and sickness; viruses, cancer, ultimate physical death
__________ people’s sin can cause us to suffer unjustly.
Drunkenness, sexual promiscuity
Lies and deception
Selfishness, greed, etc.
__________ __________ sin can cause us to suffer justly.
Our foolishness
Lusts of many kinds …
Addictions, fallen hearts, excesses in spending, hobbies, eating, distractions and hobbies, celebrity-chasing, poor health habits, screen time, etc.
Ignoring instruction, relying on self or false gods, and going to creation rather than the Creator (Romans 1:21-25)
We all suffer. We don’t all suffer well.
My _____________ to suffering will _____________ where my confidence and hope is.
Some of our suffering has been made worse by our reaction to sin and suffering.
EXAGGERATED RESULTS OF SUFFERING:
o Self-victimization – a new and false sense of identity
“What people have done to me determines who I am.”
“I am irreversibly stained, broken, abandoned, made useless.”
o Myopia – unable to see any good come (Jeremiah 17:6)
“All is suffering”
“I can’t be rescued/forgiven/made new/redeemed”
o Disbelief –
“Suffering doesn’t fit in a world created by a good God, therefore, God is not good”
or “God doesn’t exist.”
or “I am my own God.” “I can manufacture my own universe.”
o Hardness of Heart - characterized by broken or paralyzed emotions, bitterness, etc.
o Isolation – pulling back from God and/or others. Enhanced further by …
Shame
Guilt
False Guilt (“I didn’t do anything wrong but I feel like I did.”)
WHAT IS SIN?
SIN – MISSING THE MARK OF PERFECTION
Sin is a disease and affliction that keeps devouring. It is never satisfied. It always wants more, costs more, and is both enslaving and deceiving.
It blinds us to God and turns our focus inward.
From birth, we are caught in its grip.
At its core, sin is relying on our own desires, needs, goals, and dreams instead of trusting God.
Sin always _____________ suffering.
Ex: yelling at our friends, ignoring God, insisting on our rights, avoiding help, etc. Sinners often respond by (shifting blame to others) or fixing themselves as though the wound is curable and something they can cure on their own. (Ex: Adam and Eve)
The reality is, we can’t clean the stain.
Jesus came to rescue sinners, heal sufferers, and call them to be saints.
God doesn’t leave sinners to rescue themselves—He steps in. He offers us someone to turn to. He intervenes with mercy, not demands. Instead of asking the fallen to redeem themselves, He offers restoration, cleansing, covering, and a new heart.
IN CHRIST, WE ARE MADE SAINTS
SAINT – CHOSEN, LOVED AND ADOPTED INTO THE FAMILY OF GOD BY THE SAVIOR OF THE WORLD.
Saints are no longer spiritually lost or empty. They’ve been made new and restored to right standing with God – still living in a broken world, but now sustained by His Spirit.
Saints are also now able to truly share this good news with others.
Healed (1 Peter 2:25; Luke 24:26, 46; Isaiah 53:3-5; Matthew 9:12, 35-36)
Going to one day escape suffering forever (Revelation 22:1-6)
Ambassadors and witnesses to Christ’s healing and salvation (2 Corinthians 5:17-19; Acts 1:8)
Commanded to warn others of the dangers of sin (Galatians 6:1-2)
Called to use our suffering to minister to sufferers (2 Corinthians 1:3-8; James 1:2-3; 1 Peter 2:21)
Are now dead to sin – able to resist, and able to respond differently (Romans 6:6-8; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Galatians 2:20)
1 PETER 2:24
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
I have a powerful Rescuer who is greater than all creation, so I can seek healing in Him.
A WONDERFUL OFFER:
Jesus meets you right where you are – not when you’ve cleaned yourself up, but in your darkest moment. He lived the life you couldn’t live, died the death your sin deserved, and rose again to bring you into right relationship with God. In Him, you’re not just forgiven, you’re made new. He offers you a new heart, His identity, and the grace to walk with Him daily.
For those who have accepted this offer: How can you celebrate your sainthood?
For those who haven’t understood or have rejected this offer: Will you accept Jesus now?
POTENTIAL RESPONSES TO THE “HEAT” LIFE BRINGS:
Sinner Sufferer Saint
PROUD
Blame shifts (Gen. 3:12-13)
Denies sin (Adam, Eve)
Ignores / is licentious
Sees the sin of others more than own
Says, “I would never sin that way”
Self-atones
Controls or manipulates
“I can’t forgive myself” or “I can’t/won’t forgive you”
HUMBLE
Admit
Confess & Repent (1 Jn. 1:9)
Seek Atonement at the Cross
Denies suffering “I’m fine”
Exaggerates suffering
“No one knows the trouble I’ve seen” (my suffering is worse than others’ pain.)
Compares
Despairs
“I don’t understand everything, but I trust God’s character.”
“This pain is real, and I need God’s help.”
“I’m learning to depend on God more deeply through this.”
JESUS Became sin (2 Cor. 5:21) Is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18)
Sinner, saved by Grace (Eph. 2:8-9)
Dead to sin (Rom. 6)
Hate sin (1 Cor. 15:9)
Compassionate – tender toward sinners
Warn of the dangers (Gal. 6:1-2)
Testifies to what Jesus did for them
Continues to give grace to the humble. (James 4:6)
Truth from Week 5:
Under the covering of God’s grace, we step out in faith, leaving behind our old, self-protective ways of covering sin and hiding from God. We prayerfully come into the light, confessing our sins before God and to one another so that we may be healed.
PSALM 25
To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me.
Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.
Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.
Remember your mercy, O Lord, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old.
Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!
Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way.
He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way.
All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.
For your name’s sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great.
Who is the man who fears the Lord?
Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose.
His soul shall abide in well-being, and his offspring shall inherit the land.
The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant.
My eyes are ever toward the Lord, for he will pluck my feet out of the net.
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses.
Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.
Consider how many are my foes, and with what violent hatred they hate me.
Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.
May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.
Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.
Trauma and Suffering Assessment
Trauma, abuse, neglect and abandonment often provide the “fertile ground” for our dysfunctional patterns of relating to God, self and others.
Suffering with chronic health conditions, diagnoses, enduring impacts of bodily abnormalities, and physical consequences/damage due to an accident are also opportunities that can lead to seeing God and our relationships differently. These variations of suffering should also be considered as you approach the following Scriptures and assessment.
Trauma, according to the American Psychological Association, is an emotional response to a terrible event that hinders a person’s ability to move forward in a healthy way. Trauma can happen through a single event or through sustained exposure overtime.
Abuse can be understood as the misuse of anything. God created all things for His glory, and misuse of His creation is a type of abuse and ultimately sinful. All sin is abusive, and sin against others is undeserved. There is, however, a type of abuse that moves beyond what might be considered normative in the Christian life. This type of abuse often includes intent to harm and can characterize a relationship of oppression. This type of abuse is particularly horrific and, in keeping with God’s heart for the oppressed, the church must be a redemptive instrument in intervening and protecting the abused. As with any sin, we cannot overcome its efforts independent of God, but He has provided the way to overcome sin through the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Neglect is defined as a failure to care properly for someone. Abandonment can lead to neglect.
GOSPEL TRUTH
Before getting started on the assessment, take some time to read the following verses. In the space below, summarize the truths about suffering and the character and promises of God toward the hurt person.
DEUTERONOMY 26:7
MICAH 7:7-10
PSALM 10:17–18
JOHN 10:10
PSALM 9:7–10
PSALM 12:5
PSALM 103:4
JOEL 2:25–27
PSALM 71:20–24
Trauma and Suffering Assessment Instructions
MICAH 7:8
Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.
GOSPEL PURSUIT
Using “The Pattern for Completing an Assessment,” prayerfully consider the areas you may have been harmed in your life. We are not looking for every hurt, but the areas in which you are still wounded. Pretending not to be hurt is not healing.
THE ASSESSMENT FORM
Source (Who or What)
List the people, institutions or events that may have caused harm to you.
The Story (What Happened)
Explain what happened to you. Be specific. Some may prefer writing narrative while others may prefer bullet points.
SPIRITUAL SATANIC RITUAL ABUSE, OCCULT RITUAL ABUSE, CULTS, CHURCH
RESIDUAL EFFECTS
Fruit
Circle if Shame, Resentment, Fear/Anxiety, Guilt or Grief are currently present in your life. Add the situation to the corresponding assessment sheets. For example, if you have an uncle listed for physical abuse that has resulted in shame, add it also it to your Guilt and Shame assessment on week 7.
Impact
How has the situation impacted you?
My Response
List ways you have attempted to cope with this.
TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM
The Source
Who/What?
The Story What happened?
The Type of Trauma/Suffering/Neglect/Abuse
Circle all that apply.
Physical Spiritual Emotional
Verbal Relational Sexual
The Fruit Circle all that apply.
Shame Guilt Grief/Loss
Fear/Anxiety Resentment
The Impact
My Response Attempts to Cope
TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Regarding Guilt: I renounce the lie that I am responsible for somone else’s sin.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Frightened
Inconsiderate Dishonest
Self-seeking
Other:
TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM
The Source
Who/What?
The Story What happened?
The Type of Trauma/Suffering/Neglect/Abuse Circle all that apply.
Physical Spiritual Emotional
Verbal Relational Sexual
The Fruit Circle all that apply.
Shame Guilt Grief/Loss
Fear/Anxiety Resentment
The Impact
My Response Attempts to Cope.
TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Regarding Guilt: I renounce the lie that I am responsible for somone else’s sin.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Frightened
Inconsiderate Dishonest
Self-seeking
Other:
TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM
The Source
Who/What?
The Story What happened?
The Type of Trauma/Suffering/Neglect/Abuse Circle all that apply.
Physical Spiritual Emotional
Verbal Relational Sexual
The Fruit Circle all that apply.
Shame Guilt Grief/Loss
Fear/Anxiety Resentment
The Impact
My Response Attempts to Cope.
TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Regarding Guilt: I renounce the lie that I am responsible for somone else’s sin.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Frightened
Inconsiderate Dishonest
Self-seeking
Other:
TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM
The Source
Who/What?
The Story What happened?
The Type of Trauma/Suffering/Neglect/Abuse Circle all that apply.
Physical Spiritual Emotional
Verbal Relational Sexual
The Fruit Circle all that apply.
Shame Guilt Grief/Loss
Fear/Anxiety Resentment
The Impact
My Response Attempts to Cope.
TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Regarding Guilt: I renounce the lie that I am responsible for somone else’s sin.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Frightened
Inconsiderate Dishonest
Self-seeking
Other:
TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM
The Source
Who/What?
The Story What happened?
The Type of Trauma/Suffering/Neglect/Abuse Circle all that apply.
Physical Spiritual Emotional
Verbal Relational Sexual
The Fruit Circle all that apply.
Shame Guilt Grief/Loss
Fear/Anxiety Resentment
The Impact
My Response Attempts to Cope.
TRAUMA AND SUFFERING ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Regarding Guilt: I renounce the lie that I am responsible for somone else’s sin.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Frightened
Inconsiderate Dishonest
Self-seeking
Other:
Prayer for Abuse
To be prayed with your mentor
Read through, understand, and agree with each prayer prior to praying with your mentor, so you can pray from the heart and not with empty words.
Heavenly Father,
I thank You that You are the God who sees. I thank You that when (name the abuser) (name the abuse), You saw. I thank You that when no one else heard my cries, You did. You sent Your Son to this world to rescue me and give me life. Jesus, You know well my pain, as You Yourself suffered much at the hands of sinners. I pray that You might teach me through your Spirit to love as You love. Thank You for rescuing me from the dominion of darkness, bringing me with You into eternity. I thank You that we are no longer victims, but more than conquerors through the cross. In Christ, I am redeemed. I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, that you would heal any emotional, spiritual, mental, relational or physical damage done as a result of this abuse in my life as well as any others affected, for Your glory and Your name’s sake. Help me not to focus on how I have been treated by people but on the riches of your grace toward me. Show me how to be an instrument of your redeeming love in this situation. (Pray for this person.)
In Jesus’ name, amen.
MICAH 7:8
Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.
ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER
Acknowledge that God sees, knows, and cares about your specific situation.
Thank Him that He provides a way out.
Acknowledge that Christ understands, as He Himself suffered and ask the Spirit to teach you to love as He loves.
Thank Him that we are no longer enslaved to the darkness and that we will spend eternity with Him.
Pray for healing.
Ask Him to help you focus on the riches you have been given eternally rather than those that have been taken in this life.
Pray for wisdom in being an instrument of His redeeming love in this situation.
Pray for the person.
Acknowledge we are more than conquerors in Christ and, therefore, no longer victims.
Prayer for Other Forms of Suffering
To be prayed with your mentor
Heavenly Father,
I thank You that You are the God who draws near to the broken. You are not distant from my pain — You see it, You know it, and You care deeply. In this season of suffering — no matter the type — You are not absent. It hurts more than I can describe. I feel weary, disoriented, and tempted to despair. I want relief, and at times I wonder if You see or hear me. But Your Word tells me that You are the God who suffers with us and for us. Jesus, You entered into our world of sorrow and bore the weight of our grief. You did not turn away from suffering — You embraced it, and in doing so, You redeemed it.
Even when my prayers feel dry and my strength feels gone, You remain steady. You are not waiting for me to get it together — You are holding me even now. In this suffering, You are shaping me, not punishing me. You are refining my faith like gold in the fire. You are near to the crushed in spirit. Help me not to waste this pain. Help me to meet You in it. Show me how to endure with hope, to weep with You, to wait with You.
Teach me to trust that resurrection always follows the cross. Though sorrow lasts for a night, joy comes in the morning. I believe — help my unbelief. I long for comfort, but more than that, I long for You. Be my portion, my strength, my peace. Carry me when I cannot walk. Remind me that I am not alone.
Thank You that suffering will not have the last word — You will. And in Christ, so will I. Help me…heal me…in Jesus’ name. Amen.
ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER
Thank God for providing redemption of all things in Christ.
Acknowledge any unfruitful ways of coping.
Affirm that He is bigger than our triggers and can be trusted as we lay down new pathways, replacing their former associations with new memories of victories in Him.
Name the experience and its effects on your life.
Affirm what God is calling us away from and what He is calling us to.
Ask for help and healing.
A Redemptive View of Suffering
Abuse is the misuse of anything. God created all things for His glory, and misuse of His creation is abuse and ultimately sinful. All sin is abuse, and sin against others is undeserved. On our own, we cannot overcome the effects of sin, but He has provided a way to overcome sin and its effects through the gospel of Jesus Christ. God has the power to redeem all forms of abuse and suffering. In Christ, through the Spirit, we will display His supremacy and victory over evil as we arise over sin, shame and even death.
WASHING IN THE WORD
After praying through the Trauma and Suffering Assessment you can use these truths to be encouraged in the battle.
1 PETER 2:19–25
This scripture explains that Jesus suffered abuse righteously and left us an example of how to respond to abuse.
PSALM 56:1–11
This scripture illustrates God’s heart for the abused. He has not forgotten them — He has heard their cries. The cross of Christ doesn’t just justify sinners — it also vindicates victims.
LIFE-GIVING TRUTHS
Jesus suffered abuse. He was neglected, betrayed, humiliated, stripped naked, beaten and killed. This demonstrates three life-giving truths.
He understands. He deeply understands what you have gone through and what you are feeling because He experienced it. He knows your pain.
The abuse does not define you.
Your abuse does not justify your sin. It may give fertile ground for your sin but your response comes from your heart. Jesus did not respond to His abuse in sin or vengeance; He “(entrusted) himself to him who judges justly.” The more Christ reigns and rules in your heart, the more Christ-like your response will be.
God will vindicate you and bring justice. For all those who do not repent, the wrath of God remains and there will be justice.
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.
Anger and Resentments Assessment
To understand resentment, we must first understand anger. Anger is an emotional response to a perceived wrong that demands justice. A resentment is a “root of bitterness” that takes hold in our hearts when we fail to entrust offenses to the Lord. They make us unfruitful, sucking nutrients (energy) that could be used productively. Resentments also defile others. They can be displayed in acting toward someone in a way we shouldn’t or not acting in a way toward someone that we should. We tend to replay in our minds the situations in which we have been treated unjustly.
GOSPEL TRUTH
Before getting started on the assessment, take some time to read the following verses. In the space below, summarize the character and promises of God toward our anger.
MATTHEW 5:21–22
HEBREWS 12:15
LUKE 6:35–36
JAMES 1:19–20
ROMANS 12:19
PSALM 4:4
JOHN 5:30
Anger and Resentments Assessment Instructions
HEBREWS 12:15
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.
GOSPEL PURSUIT
Using “The Pattern for Completing an Assessment,” prayerfully consider areas of unresolved anger toward yourself, God or others. We are not looking to record every resentment you have ever had, but those resentments that currently hinder your love of God and others. Denial is not resolution.
It may be helpful to get a piece of paper and brainstorm, asking God to call to mind those people who, if they walked into the room, you might have resentment toward. It may be something someone did or failed to do. It may also be a situation, institution or even an idea you resent.
PEOPLE
God/Jesus
Clergy/Pastors
Step Parents/Grandparents
Step Siblings
Extended family
In-laws
Adopted/Foster family
Husbands/Wives
Boyfriends/Girlfriends
Babysitters
Playmates
Childhood friends
Family friends
Middle school/High school friends
College classmates (fraternity/sorority)
Current friends
Teachers/Counselors/Principals/Coaches
Employers
Co-workers
Creditors
Police/Probation/Parole officers
Judges/Lawyers
Church members
Cult members
Gang members
Sports team members
Acquaintances/Neighbors
Politicians/Civic leaders
Counselors/Therapists/Psychiatrists
Doctors/Nurses/Aides
INSTITUTIONS
Religion/Church
Marriage/Family
Recovery programs
Treatment centers
Judicial/Correctional
Government
Education
Mental Health
Corporations
SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES
Authority
Confession
Repentance
Heaven/Hell
Election
Predestination
Law
Sin
Sickness/Death
Restitution
Divorce/Separation
Reconciliation
THE ASSESSMENT FORM
WHO OR WHAT
List those whom you are resentful toward.
THE STORY (WHAT HAPPENED)
Explain why you are resentful and list the specific action done to you. Some will prefer writing narrative while others may prefer bullet points.
THE IMPACT
Describe the impact of this resentment on your life and your relationships (fruitful or unfruitful).
WHAT PART OF SELF WAS HURT OR THREATENED
(or what was I seeking to satisfy.)
There are three major categories:
Social Security
Sexual
You may view these three major categories as a threat at the time the incident occurred or a threat to a future hope (ambitions). In other words, you could be resentful toward someone who intruded in a current, personal relationship or threatened a future hope or ambition for that relationship.
SOCIAL
Did this threaten my relationships, specifically in these two areas?
Self-esteem
Did this in some way threaten my sense of worth, value, confidence, identity, etc.? It could be how I see myself or how others see me.
Personal Relationships
Did this threaten my sense of belonging or the relationships I value? Did this affect the way I relate to others?
SECURITY
Did this threaten or hurt my sense of security in one of two areas?
Materially
Did this threaten or hurt me financially or materially?
Emotionally
Did this threaten or hurt me emotionally?
SEXUAL
Did this threaten or hurt my sexual relations or sexuality?
AMBITIONS
Did this threaten my future hopes and plans?
Again, rather than a current threat, ambitions recognize that we often become resentful because our plans for the future (hope) have been interfered with (my ideals socially, materially, emotionally, sexually). Examples: “I never thought I would be divorced.” “I was hoping to marry her.”
ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
What or who are you resentful toward?
The Story
What happened? Explain why you are resentful and list the specific action done to you.
The Impact
Describe the impact of this resentment on your life and your relationships (fruitful or unfruitful).
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT
Who or What?
What or who are you resentful toward?
The Story
What happened? Explain why you are resentful and list the specific action done to you.
The Impact
Describe the impact of this resentment on your life and your relationships (fruitful or unfruitful).
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT
Who or What?
What or who are you resentful toward?
The Story
What happened? Explain why you are resentful and list the specific action done to you.
The Impact
Describe the impact of this resentment on your life and your relationships (fruitful or unfruitful).
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT
Who or What?
What or who are you resentful toward?
The Story
What happened? Explain why you are resentful and list the specific action done to you.
The Impact
Describe the impact of this resentment on your life and your relationships (fruitful or unfruitful).
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT
Who or What?
What or who are you resentful toward?
The Story
What happened? Explain why you are resentful and list the specific action done to you.
The Impact
Describe the impact of this resentment on your life and your relationships (fruitful or unfruitful).
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
ANGER AND RESENTMENTS ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
Prayer for Resentments toward Others
To be prayed with your mentor
Heavenly Father,
I acknowledge (person’s name) is not exempt from the fall and the effects of sin. Though I don’t like the symptoms of this spiritual disease or how it has affected me, he/she, like me, is a sinner too. I confess that I have stood in judgment of (person’s name) for (the cause). Forgive me, Father, for allowing bitterness and resentment to reside in my heart, preventing my ability to be an instrument of Your redeeming love. As You, Father, have extended Your grace to me through Jesus Christ, I ask the Holy Spirit to enable me to reflect Christ in this situation. Today I, as an unrighteous judge, turn this offense over to You, my righteous judge and king. I trust in Your will and Your plan and choose to live in the freedom You have promised. How may I be an ambassador of Your love, peace and truth in this situation? I pray in the name of Jesus Christ that You would, for Your name’s sake and glory, heal any damage done as a result of this offense in my life, as well as any others who may have been affected. (Finish prayer by praying for this person according to their needs.)
In Jesus’ name, amen.
ROMANS 12:21
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER
Humble yourself as a fellow sinner
Ask for forgiveness for harboring bitterness
Turn the offense over to God
Confess specific resentment
Ask the Holy Spirit for help in being Christ-like
Ask for wisdom on how to best steward this relationship for His kingdom purposes
Pray for healing
Pray for this person
Prayer for Resentments toward Self
To be prayed with your mentor
Heavenly Father,
Forgive me for the ways I have attempted to find righteousness apart from the work of Your Son. By standing outside myself, elevating myself and judging myself for my actions, emotions and behavior and, therefore, “hating myself,” I have attempted to deal with my shortcomings according to the law rather than Your grace. I tend to punish myself when I break my standards, seeking some sense of justification. In doing so, I try to deal with my sin independent of You and remain in self-imposed bondage. I have placed myself above You as judge. Today I come humbly before You that I might come under the waterfall of Your grace. Thank you for Your Son, Jesus, and the freedom that grace brings!
In Jesus’ name, amen.
GALATIANS 2:21
I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.
ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER
Ask for forgiveness for attempting to find righteousness apart from Christ
Acknowledge the self-imposed bondage you have created in attempting to deal with your sin apart from Christ
Confess your attempt to deal with your shortcomings according to the law rather than grace
Repent of your punishment and judgment of yourself in an attempt to seek justification
Ask to stand under His grace and the freedom He brings
Give thanks for Jesus
Prayer for Resentments toward God
To
be prayed with your mentor
Heavenly Father,
I confess my resentment toward You for (the cause). I ask Your forgiveness for my pride, standing in judgment of a good, perfect, just and holy God who can see the eternal perspective, while I can only see what is right before me. Help me, by the power of Your Holy Spirit, to trust You and remember that Your plans are to bless me and not to harm me, to give me hope and a future.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
JOB 40:1–2
And the LORD said to Job: “Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty? He who argues with God, let him answer it.”
ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER
Confess specific resentment
Humbly acknowledge you do not know as God knows
Give thanks for the assurance God provides His children
Ask for forgiveness for standing in judgment
Repent of not trusting God and His eternal perspective
A Redemptive View of Anger
Anger is an emotional response to a perceived wrong that demands justice. Not all anger is sinful — it can be the appropriate response to injustice. Unrighteous anger is rooted in man’s attempts to meet his own idolatrous desires. Righteous anger is aligned with the Spirit and flows from the heart of God in love for that which He cares about, spurring us on to gospel-centered action to eradicate evil and injustice.
WASHING IN THE WORD
After praying through the Resentments Assessment you can use these truths to be encouraged in the battle.
ROMANS 12:19–21
We don’t have to take revenge, not because God doesn’t care about justice, but because God says He will bring perfect justice.
ROMANS 2:1–5
God is righteous in His judgments. In our judgement of others, we often condemn ourselves because we are guilty of the same things, if even only at the heart level.
LIFE-GIVING TRUTHS
Jesus got angry. However, His anger was never selfish and always reflected God’s heart.
MARK 3:1–6
We see Jesus angered in the synagogue, grieved at the hardness of men’s hearts. This was motivated by a love for His people and anger toward sin. Notice His anger moves Him to act in accordance with God’s redemptive purposes.
MARK 11:15–19
Jesus clears the temple in response to the use of His Father’s house by the money changers for selfish gain. Out of love for His Father and zeal for His Father’s house, He responds with a righteous anger. Notice this was not a reaction to a personal attack but rather a response to an offense against His Father (sin).
God is reconciling the world through His son. No sin will go unpunished. Those who have hurt us will either receive the same grace and mercy we have received through the cross, or they will be judged and spend eternity in torment. Maybe the knowledge of this coming judgment will free you to act as an ambassador of Christ to those who have hurt you.
Assessing Anger and Abuse
First, let’s look at a foundational framework for talking about our issues:
The picture of self-rule.
Self-Centered (Selfish)
Self-Seeking (Fear)
Self-Reliant (Power)
Obsessed with control, others and circumstances.
Alive to sin but spiritually dead.
GALATIANS 5:19-24
Still trusting in our own authority.
Alive in Christ, but in a season(s) of rebellion, seeking other satisfactions.
Deeds of the Flesh (Galatians 5:19-21)
Leads to death, destruction and chaos.
God-Centered/Pleasing (faithful servant)
Dependent on my Creator.
Surrendered to God’s Sovereignty.
Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)
Abundant Life!
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
ANGER
When anger is present, there is an absence of the righteousness of God. (James 1:20)
ANGER –
A response (emotion, thought, word, deed) to a perceived wrong that demands justice.
Anger in and of itself is not sinful.
It can be the appropriate response to sin
Anger of Man = often unrighteous (chaotic and destructive)
Anger of God = always righteous (good and right)
Righteous Anger is aroused by righteous motives in response to persistent unrighteous acts of sin, which if carried out through the proper means results in righteousness. It is birthed out of a love for God and those He protects. It has God’s glory and man’s dignity in view. It has no self-serving agenda but instead the best interest of others in mind. It is not quick-tempered, but a slow-burning response when the Spirit is provoked within us in the presence of ongoing unrepentant sin.
Anger is righteous inasmuch as it captures God’s ______________ toward that which is producing the anger.
Ask: Is this something that God would be angry about?
Unrighteous Anger is when, out of pride, we react with anger to that which is interfering with our idolatrous desire and our ______________ .
When we are threatened, we attempt to preserve our kingdom, trying to control our circumstances by putting other idols on the throne of our lives.
An outgrowth of self-rule (loving something more than we love God)
REACTIONS TO UNRIGHTEOUS ANGER
1. We can ______________ it.
Deny, suppress, or bottle it up (instead of confessing or letting it be known). Consequences: often results in bitterness and/or depression.
Side-steps reconciliation and leaves room for bitterness (Romans 1)
My anger turns inward (depression).
2. We can ______________ it.
We act out towards someone/something.
Release it in a way that looks moral or pious. This disassociates ourselves from the anger/bitterness growing inside us. (We think it’s not coming out of our own hearts!)
If we are reacting unrighteously, that’s a sign, a warning, an alarm that something or someone other than Jesus is ______________ .
“You made me angry!” (passive; blames someone or something else)
WE ARE 100 PERCENT ________________________ FOR WHAT COMES OUT OF US.
When unrighteous anger is not handled righteously it leads to abuse.
ABUSE
Interacting with anything in any way that is outside of it’s design. (Money, food, sex, etc.)
All sin is marked by some sort of abuse in some fashion.
However, there is a degree of abuse when it involves another life, manifesting itself in violence, oppression, violation that is absolutely horrific/deplorable.
TO THE ABUSED:
God cares! God sees, and God hears. He is attentive to our pain.
PSALM 10:17-18
O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.
TWO ‘DAYS’ THAT WASH OVER YOUR PAIN:
1. There is a day in the future when God, in his righteous anger, purely and perfectly will judge ________________________ .
2. There was a day in the past when God’s holy Son (an innocent man) waged war against injustice, sin, abuse, and death and HE WON THAT WAR!
WHAT JESUS’ VICTORY MEANS FOR THE ABUSED:
1. Jesus ___________________ with your pain.
God is not distant.
Comfort from a place of shared experience.
2. Jesus made a way not only for you to be ___________________ from your abuse but also where He paid the ___________________ for your sin that you might be made right with the Father.
We are healed from sin committed against us.
We are forgiven for sin that we commit.
HEART ISSUES OF THE ABUSED:
1. A confusion of ________________________
Confusion: “This is my fault;” “I brought this on myself”
Clarity: This is not your fault. The person who abused you is 100% responsible for how they treated you.
Confusion: “I only do this because I was oppressed.”
Clarity: You are 100% responsible for what comes out of you. Allow the gospel of Jesus to come into these places and heal you.
2. A confusion of ________________________
Confusion: I am the ugly and abusive names that were given to me by my abuser.
Clarity: You are a child of God! You have been redeemed and given a new identity. You are free!
DISTORTED DESIRES OF THE ABUSED:
1. We can ________________________ God-given desires.
Confusion: “I will never love/trust again because that’s what got me hurt.”
Clarity: Love and trust are good, godly things. They were manipulated and perverted by others.
2. We can ________________________ good desires to an unhealthy place.
Confusion: “Safety is uppermost in my affections and highest on my agenda. I must put this above everything, even obedience to God.”
Clarity: God is my refuge and strength.
Victims of abuse can start to adopt, incorporate and live out of a victim mentality. It’s difficult to engage because it hinders spiritual growth.
Repentance is difficult – “This isn’t something I’m responsible for.” “It’s only there because of what was done to me.” “I have nothing to repent of.”
Accountability is difficult – “You’re just like [them].” “You’re trying to oppress me.” Victims can often feel re-victimized as helpers are mis-identified as oppressors/manipulators.
LIES BEHIND A VICTIM MENTALITY:
1. If this had not happened, I would be ___________________ . (I’m good)
2. If God allowed this, then God is ___________________ .
3. I’m the only one who can be ___________________ . (I’m god)
DO YOU WANT TO BE HEALED?
JOHN 5:2-9 (emphasis added)
“Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, in Aramaic called Bethesda, which has five roofed colonnades. In these lay a multitude of invalids—blind, lame, and paralyzed. One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?” The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.” Jesus said to him, “Get up, take up your bed, and walk.” And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked.”
Our answer to this question will be determined by our willingness to bow our knee, to confess our sin, to humble our hearts, and surrender to King Jesus.
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
WEEK SEVEN
Sex, Guilt, and Shame
Sexual Immorality Assessment
Sexual immorality is any sexual act that occurs outside of God’s intended design for sex between one man and one woman within the marriage covenant. Beyond sexual acts, God looks deeper to the desires and motivations of the heart.
GOSPEL TRUTH
Before getting started on the assessment, take some time to read the following verses. In the space below, summarize the character and promises of God toward our sexual sin.
GENESIS 1:22
JOEL 2:25
GENESIS 2:24-25
1 CORINTHIANS 6:9–11
MICAH 7:18–20
1 CORINTHIANS 6:14–20
1 JOHN 3:2–3
1 THESSALONIANS 4:1-8
Sexual Immorality Assessment Instructions
1 CORINTHIANS 6:18–20
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
JOEL 2:25
I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you.
GOSPEL PURSUIT
Using “The Pattern for Completing an Assessment,” prayerfully consider areas of sexual immorality. As a subset of guilt and shame, we are looking for those activities that grieve God’s heart and burden us. How have you participated in sex outside of God’s intended design? Feel free to add to the list.
ACTIONS
Premarital sex
Adultery
Promiscuity
Lust
Fantasizing
Pornography
Prostitution
Sexual abuse/Rape/Date rape
Phone/Cyber sex
Sexual enticement
Self sex/Masturbation
ORIENTATION
Homosexuality
Bisexuality
Polyamory
Pedophilia
Beastiality
THE ASSESSMENT FORM
WHO OR WHAT
Who or what have I engaged sexually outside of God’s intended design?
THE STORY (WHAT HAPPENED?)
Write what happened.
THE IMPACT
Describe the impact this sin has had on your life and the lives of others.
WHAT PART OF “SELF” WAS HURT OR THREATENED?
Remember: A good desire becomes a lust when we are willing to sin to get it.
KEY QUESTIONS
Prayerfully consider which of these desires you were attempting to satisfy when you engaged in this activity. Examples: “I wanted him to like me” (social ambition) or “If I could be with that girl then I must be important” (self-esteem, treating women like trophies).
SOCIAL
Self-esteem
Was I driven by a desire to build my self-esteem, self-confidence, value or self-worth?
Personal Relationships
Was I seeking acceptance, status or belonging? Or was I responding to rejection?
SECURITY
Was I seeking security in one of these two areas?
Materially
Was this driven by my desire for material security (money, a place to stay, a nice dinner)?
Emotionally
Was this driven by my desire for emotional security (love, peace)?
SEXUAL
Was I seeking to satisfy my God-given desire for sex/pleasure outside of His design?
AMBITIONS
Did this threaten my future hopes and plans?
SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The
Impact
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
Self Esteem
Material Security
Personal Relationships
Emotional Security
Sexual Ambitions
SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
Self Esteem
Material Security
Personal Relationships
Emotional Security
Sexual Ambitions
SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The
Impact
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
Self Esteem
Material Security
Personal Relationships
Emotional Security
Sexual Ambitions
SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The
Impact
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
Self Esteem
Material Security
Personal Relationships
Emotional Security
Sexual Ambitions
SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The
Impact
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
Self Esteem
Material Security
Personal Relationships
Emotional Security
Sexual Ambitions
SEXUAL IMMORALITY ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
Prayer For Sexual Immorality
To be prayed with your mentor
Heavenly Father,
I realize that sex is sacred. It is a beautiful picture of oneness reserved exclusively for one man and one woman within the context of the marriage covenant. Sex is a gift from You, intended to glorify You. It is the mingling of souls. Lord, I confess today that I have sinned and operated outside of Your intended design for this holy endeavor by (name immorality). Father, forgive me. I have given intimate parts of myself to another. Lord, I long to glorify You. I ask that You would restore to me a right view of sex. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, that You would, for Your name’s sake and by Your power, heal the damage done as a result of this situation in my life as well as any others affected. I pray You would break any spiritual ties related to this sin. I trust in the redemptive work of Christ and His covering for my shame. I pray that You would remove or help me take captive the images and emotions tied to these events and help me not to fantasize or take pride in those things which grieve Your heart. Through the cross of Christ, I am made clean.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER
Acknowledge the sacred beauty and gift that sex is within it’s intended design
Acknowledge the spiritual reality that takes place when two people join together
In Jesus’ name, pray for healing
In Jesus’ name, pray for the breaking of soul ties
Confess sin specifically
Ask for forgiveness
Express your desire to bring glory to Him
Pray for a restored view of sex
Express trust in His work in you
Ask for help in taking your thoughts captive, making them obedient to the will of Christ, and for the removal of images and emotions related to the event
Acknowledge having been cleansed
A Redemptive View of Sex
Sex is a beautiful and sacred gift given to us by God. It is to be worshipful, but not worshiped. It is to be enjoyed and celebrated within the marriage covenant as a reflection of the gospel and our union with Christ. Any sexual act that occurs outside of God’s intended design is sexual immorality. Beyond action alone, God looks deeper to the desires and motivations of the heart. Only through the gospel will God align our hearts with His purposes for this beautiful and sacred gift.
WASHING IN THE WORD
After praying through the Sexual Immorality Assessment you can use these truths to be encouraged in the battle.
1 JOHN 3:3, PSALM 51:7
When Christ died on the cross, He not only took our sin but also our shame. In Him we are clean, pure, innocent and white as snow.
LIFE-GIVING TRUTHS
Sex is a good gift from God, and He created sex to be pleasurable and enjoyable. When you sin sexually, you feel guilt and shame. Because sin taints everything it touches, your mind will begin to attach the feeling of guilt and shame to sex itself, and you may begin to believe that sex is dirty or shameful. This is a lie. It is only the sin that is shameful. No matter how much you have sinned, He can cleanse you of that shame and redeem you to enjoy His gifts.
Guilt and Shame Assessment
Guilt can be both a state and/or a feeling that occurs when we have violated a law or moral standard. We can feel guilty and not be guilty (false guilt) or we may be guilty and not feel guilty. A relevant question is, “In whose eyes are we guilty?”
Shame is the intense feeling of being unclean, defiled and dirty. Closely related to guilt, it may result from the exposure of one’s own sin and depravity or from sin committed against one’s dignity. Shame is deeply rooted in identity (“I am worthless”; “I am dirty”).
We should include on our assessments where guilt and shame still hinder us, often things we are reluctant to discuss.
GOSPEL TRUTH
Before getting started on the assessment take some time to read the following verses. In the space below, summarize the character and promises of God toward our guilt and shame.
GENESIS 3:10
PSALM 34:22
PSALM 34:15–18
PSALM 51:7-8
PSALM 51:17
HEBREWS 4:15–16
1 JOHN 1:7-9
ROMANS 8:1
Guilt and Shame Assessment Instructions
GALATIANS 2:21
I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.
GOSPEL PURSUIT
Using “The Pattern for Completing an Assessment,” prayerfully consider areas of unresolved guilt and shame. We are not looking to record every sin you committed or sin committed against you, but those that burden you or need to be reconciled with God. Denial is not resolution.
Anything or anyone I put first over God (idolatry)
Cheating
Complaining
Controlling
Coveting (to have discontent with God’s provision in your life)
Character defects
Critical
Disordered eating
Dishonesty, lying, unauthentic
Divorce (biblical or otherwise)
Jealousy
Fear/Anxiety
Gambling
Gossiping
Lust (You can lust for things other than sex.)
Misleading others
Neglect
Occult practices
Promiscuity
Rebelliousness
Self harm
Self-righteousness
Selfishness
Sexual sin (broken out separately on the sexual assessment)
Slandering
Slothful (not just sitting on the couch, but neglecting the important areas of life)
Stealing (from family, stores, the government, companies, church, friends)
Quarrelsome
Ungodly thoughts, actions, emotions
Unfaithfulness (to God and others)
SHAME
Dirty feeling
Unclean
Defiled
Deep desire to hide
Inability to connect
Unworthy
Alienated
Damaged
Unlovable
Infected
Weakness/Disabilities
THE ASSESSMENT FORM
WHO WAS HURT?
List those affected.
THE STORY
Specifically, what caused the shame or guilt? List the action you did or was done to you. Some will prefer writing narrative while others may prefer bullet points.
THE IMPACT
Describe the impact of this guilt and shame on your life.
IN WHOSE EYES?
Whose standards were violated?
God
Self Others
False guilt is when we feel guilt and have done nothing wrong in God’s eyes.
WHAT PART OF “SELF” WAS HURT OR THREATENED
Remember: A good desire becomes lust when we are willing to sin to get it.
SOCIAL
Self-esteem
Was I seeking love, value, worth, identity from others (lust) or was my sense of identity, worth, value, esteem threatened by others (fear)?
Personal Relationships
Was I seeking belonging (lust) or was there a perceived threat to my personal relationships (fear)?
SECURITY
Was I seeking security in one of these two areas:
Materially
Was I seeking material security (lust) or was there a perceived threat to my material security (fear)?
Emotionally
Was I seeking emotional security (lust) or was this a perceived threat to my sense of emotional security or peace (fear)?
SEXUAL
Was there a perceived threat to my sexual desires or sexuality (fear) or was I seeking sexual satisfaction (lust)?
AMBITIONS
Did this threaten my future plans for what I was seeking in any one of these areas?
GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM
Who was hurt?
What do you feel guilt or shame about?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
In Whose Eyes?
Whose standards were violated?
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM
Who was hurt?
What do you feel guilt or shame about?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
In Whose Eyes?
Whose standards were violated?
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM
Who was hurt?
What do you feel guilt or shame about?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
In Whose Eyes?
Whose standards were violated?
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM
Who was hurt?
What do you feel guilt or shame about?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
In Whose Eyes?
Whose standards were violated?
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM
Who was hurt?
What do you feel guilt or shame about?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
In Whose Eyes?
Whose standards were violated?
What Part of Self was Hurt or Threatened?
(Circle all that apply.)
GUILT AND SHAME ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
(Circle all that apply.)
Notes:
Self-centered Self-seeking
Frightened Dishonest
Inconsiderate
Other:
Prayer for Guilt and Shame
(as a Result of Our Sin)
To be prayed with your mentor
Heavenly Father,
Today I confess that my attempts to deal with my guilt and shame by covering with the works of my hands and hiding in darkness have failed. Today I come before Your throne and ask for Your forgiveness for (name the sin). I thank You that when I come naked before You, hiding nothing, and trust solely in the sufficiency of Christ, I receive the covering of Your grace. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ that, by Your power, You would heal the damage done in my life as a result of this situation, as well as any other lives affected, and lead me to faithful reconciliation in this situation.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
HEBREWS 10:22
Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.
GALATIANS 2:21
I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.
ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER
Confess any attempts to deal with guilt and shame apart from the cross of Christ
Acknowledge receiving His grace and express gratitude for the sufficiency of Christ’s payment
Ask what needs to be done to reconcile the situation
Confess sin and ask for forgiveness
Pray for healing and restoration for those affected
Thank Him
When you receive God’s forgiveness but fail to forgive yourself, you kick God off the throne and place yourself in higher authority. In essence, you count the cross as nothing. Repent and accept Christ’s forgiveness. Walk in freedom. Jesus’ blood is sufficient.
Prayer for Shame
(as a Result of Another’s Sin)
To be prayed with your mentor
Heavenly Father,
Today I confess that my attempts to deal with my shame by covering it with the works of my hands and hiding in darkness have failed. Because I now trust in the cleansing work of the cross of our Lord, Jesus Christ, I now step out of the darkness and into the light. Though (person’s name) may have (the cause), there is nothing that the resurrecting power of Jesus cannot overcome. Through the cross of Christ, I am made clean. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ that, by Your power, You would heal the damage done in my life as a result of this situation, as well as any other lives affected.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER
Acknowledge insufficiency in attempting to deal with shame apart from the cross of Christ
Acknowledge that there is no sin that the resurrecting power of Christ cannot overcome
Bring to light the specific sin by naming the person and what they did
Acknowledge having been made clean
Pray for healing for those affected
A Redemptive View of Guilt and Shame
Guilt can be both a state and/or a feeling that occurs when we have violated a law or moral standard. We can feel guilty and not be guilty (false guilt) or we may be guilty and not feel guilty. False guilt occurs when someone besides God is lord of our lives and their judgments matter more than His. Not feeling guilt when we are guilty is a sign of a hardened heart. Only the gospel can reconcile a heart of injustice. Life through the Spirit brings conviction when we operate outside of God’s intended design.
Shame is the intense feeling of being unclean, defiled and dirty. Closely related to guilt, it may result from the exposure of one’s own sin and depravity or from sin committed against one’s dignity. Shame is deeply rooted in identity (“I am worthless; I am dirty”). The gospel of Jesus Christ gives us a new identity and a covering for our shame. Even though we may sin or be sinned against, shame no longer rules our lives because our identity is found in Jesus Christ.
LIFE GIVING TRUTHS
After praying through the Guilt and Shame Assessment you can use these truths to be encouraged in the battle.
Shame has to do with being defiled. This happens when there has been violation of God given dignity as image bearers or exposures of one’s depravity. The good news of the gospel is that when God adopted you into His family and kingdom, He gave you a new name. He gave you dignity of Christ by calling you His daughter or son. The cross of Christ forgives sinners and cleanses victims. We now have an eternal dignity bestowed upon us by the King.
WASHING IN THE WORD
HEBREWS 4:15–16
This scripture emphasizes the truth that we have been made clean and holy through Christ. We no longer have to let shame keep us from approaching God. He knew our dirtiness before we did and still decided to save us. Jesus has willingly taken all the punishment that we deserve so that we may approach our Father’s throne.
ROMANS 8:1
We are guilty when we sin. However, conviction of the Holy Spirit leads to repentance and life while condemnation leads to hiding and pretending. Because there is no condemnation in Christ, we can approach His throne of grace knowing He is merciful and forgiving.
Examining Sex, Guilt and Shame
SEX
GENESIS 1:31a
God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.
GENESIS 2:23-25
“This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
When God created sex, He created it to be ______________ .
If the goal for sex is to have our own satisfactions met, then ultimately, it will become ______________ .
GENESIS 3:1-3
Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’”
DISORDERED DESIRES
Pornea: any form of ______________ ___________________ that does not reflect God’s intended desire.
Battle taking place
Pride
Idolatry
Exchange of “funds:” Approval, security, love, affection, meeting that other thing’s desire
We need redemption.
ORDERED DESIRE
Union (or oneness) with God
God does not offer intimacy to those He’s not in _________________ with.
The two should become one and never be _________________ again.
GUILT & SHAME
GUILT
More to do with what you DO.
Real guilt: I have done something _________________ . My state of being understands my wrongness.
False guilt: I didn’t do anything wrong, but I _________________ like I did something wrong.
Hard-heartedness: I did something wrong, and I should feel the weight of that, but I completely ignore it.
SHAME
I’m defiled. I’m dirty. It’s not that I did something wrong; it’s that I ______ wrong.
My identity is broken. I am unworthy, or unlovable.
Justification: I am guilty, but the Lord has declared me innocent. (Romans 8:1)
Adoption: Your identity has been conferred from being a simple and depraved man or woman to being a _________________ of God.
• A whole new identity attached to your new Father!
• When the Lord adopts us, we’re no longer carrying the shame of that old identity. We’ve been made new. (Genesis 3:15)
• The Lord is covering you! This frees us to walk in the new identity that He has given!
• You are not guilty or in shame anymore!
REDEEMED TRUTHS:
Sex is a beautiful and sacred gift given to us by God. It is to be worshipful but not ____________________ .
It is to be enjoyed and celebrated within the marriage covenant as a reflection of the gospel and our union with Christ. Any sexual act that occurs outside of God’s intended design is sexual immorality. Beyond action alone, God looks deeper to the desires and motivations of the heart. Only through the gospel will God align our hearts with His purposes for this beautiful and sacred gift.
Guilt can be both a state and/or a feeling that occurs when we have violated a law or moral standard.
We can feel guilty and not be guilty (false guilt) or we may be guilty and not feel guilty (hard hardheartedness). False guilt occurs when someone besides God is lord of our lives and their judgments matter more than His. Not feeling guilt when we are guilty is a sign of a hardened heart. Only the gospel can reconcile a heart of injustice. Life through the Spirit brings conviction when we operate outside of God’s intended design.
Shame is the intense feeling of being unclean, defiled, and dirty. Closely related to guilt, it may result from the exposure of one’s own sin and depravity or from sin committed against one’s dignity. Shame is deeply rooted in identity (“I am worthless; I am dirty”). The gospel of Jesus Christ gives us a new identity and a covering for our shame. Even though we may sin or be sinned against, shame no longer rules our lives because our identity is found in Jesus Christ.
For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
Fear Assessment
Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or danger.
GOSPEL TRUTH
Before getting started on the assessment, take some time to read the following verses. In the space below, summarize the character and promises of God toward our fears.
ISAIAH 41:10
PSALM 91:1–8
PSALM 91:9–16
MATTHEW 6:25–33
JOSHUA 1:9
PHILIPPIANS 4:4-7
PSALM 56:3–4
Fear Assessment Instructions
ISIAIAH 41:13
For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
GOSPEL PURSUIT
Using “The Pattern for Completing an Assessment,” prayerfully consider if the fears below are part of your life. Feel free to add to the list.
Fear of God’s plan for my life
Fear of man
Fear of losing a loved one
Fear of abandonment
Fear of intimacy/relationships
Fear of rejection/loneliness
Fear of authority (parents, teachers, police, boss, etc.)
Fear of unemployment, creditors, financial ruin
Fear of sobriety/relapse
Fear of being found out
Fear of people different from me
Fear of conflict/confrontation
Fear of success/failure
Fear of getting old/body image
Fear of losing control
Fear of illness/germs
Fear of pain/death
Fear of change
Fear of the unknown/future
Fear of not having enough
THE ASSESSMENT FORM
WHO OR WHAT
List who or what you are afraid of.
THE
STORY
What is the story behind this fear?
THE IMPACT
Describe the effect of this fear on your life. How do you react to fear verbally, physically and emotionally?
FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
Describe the impact of this (fruitful or unfruitful).
FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
To Whom Am I Looking for Provision?
(Circle one)
God Self
Others
What Do I Treasure that I Fear Losing?
Where Am I Seeking to Find My Security?
(Circle one)
Earthly Treasure Heavenly Treasure:
Notes:
FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
Describe the impact of this (fruitful or unfruitful).
FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
To Whom Am I Looking for Provision?
(Circle one)
God Self
Others
What Do I Treasure that I Fear Losing?
Where Am I Seeking to Find My Security?
(Circle one)
Earthly Treasure Heavenly Treasure:
Notes:
FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
Describe the impact of this (fruitful or unfruitful).
FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
To Whom Am I Looking for Provision?
(Circle one)
God Self
Others
What Do I Treasure that I Fear Losing?
Where Am I Seeking to Find My Security?
(Circle one)
Earthly Treasure Heavenly Treasure:
Notes:
FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
Describe the impact of this (fruitful or unfruitful).
FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
To Whom Am I Looking for Provision?
(Circle one)
God Self
Others
What Do I Treasure that I Fear Losing?
Where Am I Seeking to Find My Security?
(Circle one)
Earthly Treasure Heavenly Treasure:
Notes:
FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
Describe the impact of this (fruitful or unfruitful).
FEAR ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
To Whom Am I Looking for Provision?
(Circle one)
God Self
Others
What Do I Treasure that I Fear Losing?
Where Am I Seeking to Find My Security?
(Circle one)
Earthly Treasure Heavenly Treasure:
Notes:
Prayer for Fear
To be prayed with your mentor
Heavenly Father,
Forgive me for walking in the fear of (name of fear). I pray that You would help me to trust You more. I acknowledge that when I fear, I can’t walk in love. I realize that self-preservation is at the root of my fears. In my pride, I attempt to control my world and fail to trust in Your ability to preserve my life. I forget that You are a good God and are fully in control. Therefore, today, I turn these fears over to You. I trust that You will meet all my needs as You promise, not always how I want. I trust that the ups and downs of life have purpose and that through it all, You, Lord, never change. Thank You that You are always with me! Where I have lived under the curse of fear, I pray You would allow me the blessing of faith that comes through grace.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER
Ask for forgiveness
Ask for help in trusting Him
Confess fear
Acknowledge your inability to walk in love when in fear
Acknowledge root of fears
Turn fears over to Him
Place your trust in Him and His goodness
Pray for blessings of faith where you have walked under the curse of fear
Thank Him for always being with you
A Redemptive View of Fear
Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or danger. Spiritually, healthy fear is the fear of the Lord. To fear the Lord is to worship Him alone and He is the source of all we need. Outside of the gospel, we live our lives out of a selfcentered fear that seeks to meet our own perceived needs. As the Spirit reveals this foolishness, we come under the compassion and care of our loving Father. He knows best in providing, protecting and directing our lives according to His plan and purpose, for His glory and our good.
WASHING IN THE WORD
After praying through the Fear Assessment you can use these truths to be encouraged in the battle.
1 PETER 3:6
The command not to fear doesn’t mean that there are not frightful things. God acknowledges the reality of frightening circumstances. However, we can trust that the love of God is more powerful than any danger we face.
PHILIPPIANS 4:4–7
If we believe that God will give us everything we need, then what do we have to be afraid of?
1 JOHN 4:7–21
The gospel of Jesus Christ removes the curse of sin and the wrath of God and allows us to approach His throne with confidence. Knowing His love for us frees us from self-protection and allows us to sacrificially lay our lives down for others to know His love. When we walk in fear, we cannot walk in love.
LIFE-GIVING TRUTHS
Our fears are often very revealing. We fear not having the things we lust for or covet. The things we lust for are idols. We are called to repent of idolatry. The things we lust for may not be bad in and of themselves, but we should hold them with an open hand, trusting that God will meet our needs according to His kingdom.
Pride is often at the root of our fears. Rather than allowing God to decide what is good for us, we say in our hearts, “This is what’s good for me.” Then when that perceived good thing is threatened, we become fearful.
God is sovereign. God is good. God is love, so His actions always display love. God loves His children. As God’s children, we know that our Father is mightier than any enemy. All others are small in comparison to Him.
“Fear not” is the most repeated command in the Bible. Not being afraid has little to do with the facts of your circumstances and everything to do with understanding the character of God. Though frightening circumstances are a reality, He is our loving, all-powerful Father who delights in caring for and protecting His children. He supplies all our needs and knows them before we ask. When we find ourselves in fear, we can instead put our thoughts on the faithfulness of God.
Grief Assessment
Grief is the deep sorrow over the loss of someone or something we love. This includes people, relationships, safety, security, identity, possessions, affections and desires.
Grief is a natural response to loss and is not sinful. Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus. We should grieve loss fully and in relationship with God. However, dealing with grief independent from God leaves us to cope rather than overcome, which leads to sinful patterns of dealing with loss.
GOSPEL TRUTH
Before getting started on the assessment, take some time to read the following verses. In the space below, summarize the truth about grief and the character and promises of God toward those who are grieving.
ISAIAH 53:3
JOHN 11:34–36
LUKE 19:41–42
REVELATION 21:4
GENESIS 6:6
PSALM 34:18
MATTHEW 5:4
Grief Assessment Instructions
JOHN 16:33
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
GOSPEL TRUTH
Grief can be very painful and often comes with a myriad of emotions and difficult decisions. Everyone reacts to and handles suffering in different ways, but there are truths to remember and tools/expectations to help you navigate through this season.
You are not alone. God is near. He will be very present to walk with you through this loss. Resist temptation to isolate. Don’t avoid the painful reality of your loss by turning to quick fixes instead of entrusting yourself to God. Don’t use biblical truths to avoid heartfelt cries to the Lord (“God uses all things for our good”). Do not neglect being a good steward of your body, mind and spirit. Milestones may be difficult (anniversaries, birthdays, weddings, vacations).
PSALM 34:18
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
GOSPEL PURSUIT
Using “The Pattern for Completing an Assessment,” prayerfully consider areas of unresolved grief. Feel free to add to the list.
Death of a loved one
Divorce
Disability
Infertility
Illness/Injury
Loss of relationship
Loss of job
Extended singleness
Loss of possession(s)
Loss of identity (homosexuality, Mormonism, etc.)
Loss of community
Wayward child
Difficulties in marriage
Grief over own sin or consequences
THE ASSESSMENT FORM
WHO OR WHAT
Who or what have you lost?
THE STORY
There are many pieces and dimensions that you will miss about the person or thing you are mourning. For example, when you lose a spouse, you also lose a best friend, your favorite cook, your biggest fan, their laughter, the one you celebrate with, future dreams, etc. What will you miss most? Write out thoughts, desires, questions and complaints you have in regard to your pain.
THE IMPACT
Describe the impact of this loss on your life. Where have you gone for help and hope? In what ways have you attempted to “fix” things, cope or self-protect?
WHAT TEMPTATIONS HAVE COME OUT OF MY SUFFERING?
TOWARD GOD
Was I seeking security in one of these two areas?
Doubt
I have been tempted to doubt in God’s character as it’s revealed in scripture. (God is not good. If He were good, then I wouldn’t be hurting the way I am.)
Anger
I have been tempted to blame God for what has happened. (If He is sovereign, then He could have prevented this suffering.)
TOWARD OTHERS
Envy
I have been tempted to be envious and jealous of others who have not gone through the same suffering. (I envy those who have been blessed in the way that I want to be blessed.)
Anger
I have been tempted to be angry with others. (I am angry when others let me down, say the wrong thing or forget about my pain.)
TOWARD MYSELF
Self-pity
I have been tempted to feel sorry for myself and have feelings of despair. (Everyone always abandons me. I must be unworthy. I’m hopeless.
Isolation
I have been tempted to isolate myself instead of reach out to others. (I am all alone.)
Guilt
I have been tempted to put blame on myself for something that was out of my control. (If I had been living a more selfless and obedient lifestyle, God would have given me children.)
FEAR/ANXIETY
In my pain and suffering, I have become fearful and anxious about various things in my life, such as finances, companionship, safety, etc.
DENIAL
I know there are things I need to think about and emotions I should feel to truly move toward healing, but I’d rather be numb and not think about it.
GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
What Temptations Have Come Out of My Suffering?
(Circle all that apply)
GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs, Faults, Mistakes
(Circle all that apply)
Self-centered Self-seeking Frightened
Notes:
Dishonest Inconsiderate
Other:
GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
What Temptations Have Come Out of My Suffering?
(Circle all that apply)
GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs, Faults, Mistakes
(Circle all that apply)
Self-centered Self-seeking Frightened
Notes:
Dishonest Inconsiderate
Other:
GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
What Temptations Have Come Out of My Suffering?
(Circle all that apply)
GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs, Faults, Mistakes
(Circle all that apply)
Self-centered Self-seeking Frightened
Notes:
Dishonest Inconsiderate
Other:
GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
What Temptations Have Come Out of My Suffering?
(Circle all that apply)
GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs, Faults, Mistakes
(Circle all that apply)
Self-centered Self-seeking Frightened
Notes:
Dishonest Inconsiderate
Other:
GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM
Who or What?
The Story
What happened?
The Impact
What Temptations Have Come Out of My Suffering?
(Circle all that apply)
GRIEF ASSESSMENT FORM
STOP. Complete the following only with your mentor.
Exact Nature of My Wrongs, Faults, Mistakes
(Circle all that apply)
Self-centered Self-seeking Frightened
Notes:
Dishonest Inconsiderate
Other:
Prayer for Grief
To be prayed with your mentor
Father,
I thank You that You are a God who hears my cries and wipes away my tears. My heart is weary and often wants to give in to despair. Give me strength and grace to believe the truth of Your character and Your Word. Give me faith to trust that although difficult now, this momentary affliction is incomparable to the glory that will be revealed. Forgive me for the times I want my pain to disappear more than I want to draw near to You, even when I know You are the only one who can comfort me. I know You are the only one who can heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds. Jesus, I trust You with my heart and my life because I believe in Your great love for me. Will You meet me here and walk me through this process of healing as I begin to let (name of loss) go? Help me keep my eyes on You and Your eternal promises. (Pray and lament as you need to).
In Jesus’ name, amen.
ELEMENTS OF THIS PRAYER
Admit sorrow, hurt, grief and pain
Confess your tendency to seek comfort from the world rather than Him
Thank Him for His presence
Acknowledge the Holy Spirit’s ability to bring comfort
Trust Him with your broken heart
Ask for healing
Ask for help
We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.
Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
A Redemptive View of Grief
Grief is a natural response to loss and is not sinful. When we grieve we can do so knowing that we stand in the loving arms of God the Father. Grief in this context is always hopeful because we know that God is making all things new. Grief outside of the gospel leaves us to cope through self-generated means and with false hope or no hope at all. Grief can become complicated when we idolize what we lost.
WASHING IN THE WORD
After praying through the Grief Assessment you can use these truths to be encouraged in the battle.
PSALM 10:1; 22:1
Though resentment against God is a sin, there is a way to confess your feelings of anger and frustration to God in an honest and humble manner. Even the psalmists were honest with God about feelings of anger, frustration, confusion and abandonment.
MATTHEW 5:4; PSALM 34:18
God is always close to us in our suffering. He promises to heal and restore. We must grieve our loss and allow God to enter into and heal those wounds.
JOEL 2:25
The Lord promises not only to heal but to restore what has been lost.
LIFE-GIVING TRUTHS
These verses illustrate the hope of the gospel amid our loss. We can confess and cry out to God in our suffering, and He comforts us and promises to restore all that has been lost. There is nothing earthly that we will be able to hold onto eternally, and there is nothing eternal that we can lose in Christ. It is secure. Dealing with loss through sinful ways always brings captivity, but God provides a way of dealing with loss that brings freedom.
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 4: As children of God, armed with the Holy Spirit and standing firm in the gospel, we engage in the spiritual battle over the reign and rule of our hearts. God set us apart for holiness, and we look to put to death those areas of our lives that keep us from reflecting Jesus Christ to a dark and dying world. We first examine the fruit in our lives (or moral symptoms). As we move through the assessment process, we will uncover the roots (pride and idolatry) of any ungodly fruit that drive our ungodly thoughts, actions and emotions. The forms help us examine the “fruit” of our thoughts, actions and beliefs. There are six forms: Abuse, Resentments, Guilt & Shame, Sexual Immorality, Fears and Grief.
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 5: In attempting to live independent of God, we have developed dysfunctional (sinful) patterns of coping. After careful examination, we have begun to see the demonic roots of our slavery to these sinful patterns. We desire freedom.
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 6: In attempting to live independent of God, we have developed dysfunctional patterns of coping. After careful examination, we have begun to see the demonic roots of our slavery to these sinful patters. We desire freedom.
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 7: We renounce our former ways, offer ourselves to God and under the waterfall of His grace, ask Him to deliver and heal us by the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. We also pray for blessing and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live life according to His kingdom purposes.
Examining Fear, Anxiety, and Grief
2 CORINTHIANS 1:3-11
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.
Comfort:
To come to someone’s aid, to encourage, to come alongside someone.
Some suffering is as a result of our __________ sin. Some comes from being sinned against. And other suffering is just the tragic result of a ________________ world.
Suffering unites us all. All of us suffer. (Do you believe this?)
THREE TRUTHS ABOUT GOD
1. God loves you.
2. God is good.
3. God is sovereign and purposeful.
FEAR
Healthy Fears – in the face of the real and present danger of a physical threat, healthy fear helps you preserve your life and reminds you that you are not God.
Irrational/Unhealthy Fears – While it might be rooted in self-preservation, there is no present danger; and when you think it contributes to life, it actually robs you of life.
If you’re under the covering of God’s grace, there is literally nothing to __________.
Truth: If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31)
Wisdom: This does not mean that the Christian does not go where the Christian should not go.
o Guard mind
o Guard eyes
o Do not place yourself in spiritual danger!
But we do obey God’s call …
Part of God’s call on all of our lives is that we may be called at times to go places where we will experience suffering for His __________________ .
An improper fear in these situations may cause us to run (away from God’s call) or it will paralyze us when the Lord has called us to press ahead. Fearing others / ourselves / circumstances:
Our greatest concern becomes us.
When things don’t go the way I want, I want to take control. You can’t lose anything that’s __________________ , and you can’t keep anything from here.
The things we worship or attribute worth to determine our fears.
The two most primitive expressions of a prideful heart are ____________ and ____________ .
Fear will reveal my lusts . I lust because I think I need/want, and I become afraid of losing what I want/have.
Lusts seek to control and __________________ . Fears seek to control and __________________ .
If I can identify my lusts/fears, then I can know what I’m holding onto idolatrously, and I can repent, and begin to find peace with God.
What are the idols of your heart?
FEAR
OF “MAN”
PROVERBS 29:25
The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.
The root of the fear of man is a desire to be made much of (self-promotion) or to exist in self-preservation .
IDENTIFYING FEAR OF MAN:
o Are you nervous around people? Why?
o Do you find yourself lying to others? (trying to preserve or promote ourselves)
o Do you think often about what others think of you? (perception/reputation)
o Are you crushed when someone thinks less of you and/or elated when someone thinks highly of you?
o Do you run through interactions with others in your mind over and over after they occur, analyzing every detail and agonizing over what that person might think of you now?
MATTHEW 6:25-34
Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
The base of anxiety is a distrust in God.
Anxiety is a daily statement to God saying, “I don’t think You have my best interest in mind.” Worry is not believing God will get it right, and bitterness is believing God got it wrong.” – Tim Keller
There are two motivations in the heart of the believer in response to this:
1. A self-centered fear to meet my own needs that is stemming from distrust and rebellion.
2. A loving obedience in response to faith where we seek and trust God. We have our dependence not on us and our abilities to provide for ourselves but rather on the God who tells us He ______________ us and who is __________________.
JEREMIAH 17:5-8
Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land.
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”
If I am trusting in the Lord, nothing else can ____________ me; nothing else can raise ____________ in me.
A REDEMPTIVE VIEW OF FEAR:
Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or danger. Spiritually, healthy fear is the fear of the Lord. To fear the Lord is to worship Him alone. It is the source of all wisdom and understanding. The absence of the fear of the Lord is the height of foolishness and leads to destruction. Outside of the gospel, we live our lives out of a self-centered fear that seeks to meet our own perceived needs. As the Spirit reveals this foolishness, we come under the compassion and care of our loving Father. He knows best when it comes to providing, protecting and directing our lives according to His plan and purpose for His glory and our good.
GRIEF & LOSS
• We are tempted to fear, yet we are called to trust.
• We all express and experience grief in different ways.
• We will all experience grief and loss.
STAGES OF GRIEF:
1.
2. ____________ and resentment
3. ______________ and works
4. ______________ and alienation
5.
STAGES OF HOPE: Hope in the World
Regrouping (trusting in self)
Deadening/Suppressing
Despairing and doubting
Digging “cisterns”/man’s solutions
A BIBLICAL RESPONSE TO GRIEF:
Candor: honesty with myself
Lament: getting honest with God
Crying out to God: asking God for help
Comfort: receiving God’s help
Hope: God is my Healer
Hope and Healing with God
Waiting and trusting with faith when God says “not yet.”
Wailing: groaning with hope
Weaving: perceiving with grace
Worshiping God, the Redeemer, and engaging in His love
Adapted from Robert Kellemen, God’s Healing for Life’s Losses pp. 10, 18-19 (Winona Lake, IN: BMH, 2010).
“Suffering is having what you don't want, and wanting what you don't have.”
- Elizabeth Elliot
• Just like with fear/anxiety, we often turn to idols:
There are two kingdoms in conflict. There is a cosmic battle between the kingdom of darkness and the kingdom of God’s beloved Son. There are those who have willfully pledged their allegiance to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords and those who have refused to submit to His authority and therefore have in fact given themselves to the enemy in going their own way. Our hearts are rooted (given to) one of these two kingdoms at all times.
Seeing the spiritual dynamics beneath the bad fruit in our lives awakens us to the reality of with whom we are in agreement. The enemy tempts our flesh to be given to the world. Jesus invites us into the kingdom of heaven where by the Spirit we can live fruitful lives. It comes down to obeying Him or gratifying our flesh. If we repent of the fruit but fail to renounce the roots, we will continue to bear bad fruit.
GENESIS 3:15
“I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.”
Exact Nature of My Wrongs
We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Next we will re-examine our assessments from a different angle and discover the truth behind the exact nature of our wrongs. We will do this by completing the final parts of each assessment. It is one thing to acknowledge the bad fruit in our lives. It is another to see the exact nature of our wrongs and what that fruit is rooted in.
Consider the following in completing the assessments with your mentor.
Selfish/Self-centered
Does this stem from how this affected me (self-centered), or is it more out of a concern for the individual in their relationship with the Lord (God-centered)?
Hint: What part of “self” was threatened or seeking satisfaction? Does this emanate from a selfish or servant heart?
Self-seeking
Am I more concerned with getting something I want or am I seeking to please God? Is it about not getting the esteem (respect, worth, love) I want, the relationships I want, the security I want, the pleasure or comfort I want or the future I want?
Frightened
Is this birthed out of unbelief and distrust (unhealthy fear) of God, leading me to attempt to meet my own needs, or is this birthed out of a faith working through love, leading us to obey God?
Dishonest
Dishonesty is rooted in lies. We can easily believe the lies of the enemy and be deceived. Are we believing that these desires should be filled by the world and sinful people, rather than by our perfect, all-powerful, loving Creator? Am I believing a lie or walking in truth? How am I being deceived?
Inconsiderate
Have I only considered myself, or have I really sought to understand the other person? Am I compassionate toward their story? Have I considered that they too are in need of God’s grace? Have I considered how God could use this for His kingdom purposes?
If you circle one of these words, you will likely circle them all. This is because together they describe the flesh (selfish, self-centered, self-seeking, frightened, dishonest and inconsiderate). We either respond out of our flesh or by the Spirit, evidenced by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, fruitfulness and self-control.
The fertile ground of our stories makes our responses understandable, but it doesn’t make them right. If it doesn’t reflect Christ, it is a character defect.
Being Rooted in God’s Kingdom
Let’s look at the parts of self that were hurt or threatened and shift our thinking to how God abundantly satisfies our desires through faith in Him.
Self-Esteem
God has given us a good desire for dignity, worth and value. However, because of sin, we have fallen to a state of depravity. Rather than encouraging self-esteem, we need to be redeemed. Attempts to find worth and value apart from the cross of Jesus Christ are temporary, but God’s plan for redeeming a people for Himself is eternal. Our worth comes from God.
Personal Relationships
God created us to live relationally with Him and others. We have a God-given desire to belong. In our fallen state, we try to control and define our relationships. By faith we are never alone: God Himself is with us. He adopts us into His family.
Material Security
In reading Matthew 6:19–34, we realize that God is good, He is in control and He knows what we need materially. However, He warns us not to lay up treasures on earth because they are easily threatened and do not last. Instead of worrying about those things, we should seek first His eternal kingdom and righteousness. He will provide for us according to His goodness and kingdom purposes, in His timing and in His way.
Emotional Security
In the perfect garden paradise of Eden before the Fall, there was shalom, or peace. We have a God-given desire for peace. Through faith in Jesus Christ, we are given peace with God. We rest behind the mighty fortress of Jesus, where no person or circumstance can rob us of our peace with Him. Even if the waves of despair and destruction come crashing in, the Lord is our refuge. We will not be moved because He cannot be shaken.
Sexual Relations/Sexuality
There is a God-given desire for pleasure, including sex. God is a God of pleasure and He gave us senses to enjoy His creation; however, we enjoy it within the boundaries He established. God created sex to be celebrated and enjoyed between a husband and wife within the covenant of marriage. Outside of that, it becomes destructive.
Ambitions
Ambitions come out of a God-given desire for hope. We tend to put our hope in things of the world. But God is our hope: He overcame the world, Satan, sin and death. We will be raised with Christ and never experience death again. God demonstrated this miraculous, resurrecting power in Christ on the cross. Our future is secure in Christ and we should place our hope in Him alone. Healing comes as we turn from seeking these God-given desires of this world. (Psalm 37:4)
Expose Roots
JAMES 4:1–10
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us?” But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you doubleminded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
Renouncing Sinful Patterns
PSALM 51:12
Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. In attempting to live independent of God, we have developed dysfunctional patterns of coping. After careful examination, we have begun to see the demonic roots of our slavery to these sinful patterns. We desire freedom. Character defects are self-generated patterns of coping with a sinful world independent of God. The development of these patterns are understandable, even if they are not right. We are to resist the devil and submit to God (James 4:7). As we come under His authority, we renounce our former ways and the lies undergirding them, and we pray for deliverance from evil.
Scan the following list and read the ones that stand out to you as you continue to investigate potential sinful patterns that have been a part of your character.
CHARACTER DEFECT DEFINITIONS
ABUSE
To treat wrongly or harmfully.
ADDICTION
The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or involved in something.
ADULTERY
Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse.
ANGER
Strong feeling of displeasure or hostility.
ANXIETY
A state of apprehension, uncertainty and fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning.
AVOIDANT
A pattern of behavior that avoids difficulty, which could be intimacy, social settings and responsibility.
BIGOTRY
Hatred of people who are different from me in a clearly definable way, such as race, gender, or political affiliation.
BUSYNESS/OVER-SCHEDULING
Planning too many activities so that I do not have time to think about my life.
CO-DEPENDENCY
Depending on people to fulfill my desires.
CONDEMNATION
Strong displeasure or judgment.
COVETING
Having a desire for another’s possessions, power, wealth or relationships.
CRITICAL
Judging, blaming, finding fault with someone or something.
DEATH/SUICIDE
Enticement to take one’s own life or fantasizing about death.
DEFEATED
Believing there is no hope of victory.
DEFENSIVE
Not open to being challenged/questioned/criticized, self-protective.
DISASSOCIATION
Self-protective strategy of detaching from pain and at times reality, even self.
DENIAL
Self-protecting strategy behavior that keeps us from honestly facing the truth, leading to a false system of beliefs.
DECEITFUL
Lying, cheating or stealing; not upright in my dealings with people.
DEPRESSION
The condition of being without hope.
DETACHMENT
To remove from association (from self, others, emotions, etc.).
DOUBT
To be undecided or skeptical.
ENABLEMENT
Allowing someone to continue in disobedience without consequence.
ENTITLEMENT
Deserving of rights or benefits.
ENVY
Wishing to have something someone else has, disliking someone who has more than I do.
FEAR
A feeling which occurs in the face of something threatening.
GLUTTONY
Excess in any area, particularly in eating or drinking.
GOSSIPING
Idle talk, not always true, about other people and their affairs.
GRANDIOSE
Having or showing too great an opinion of my own importance.
GREED
Wanting more than my fair share or what I need.
GUILT
Remorseful awareness of having done something wrong.
HATE
A feeling of intense anger or bitterness, extreme dislike toward someone; a feeling of intense ill will toward another.
HOARDING
Saving money or things in excess; storing up more than could reasonably be used.
IMPATIENCE
Annoyance because of delay or opposition.
IMPULSIVITY
A problem with emotional or behavioral self-control.
INDECISION
Lacking the ability to make decisions in a timely manner.
IRRESPONSIBLE
Characteristically careless with responsibility.
INTOLERANCE
Unwilling to allow others to have opinions or beliefs that are different from mine.
JEALOUSY
Dislike or fear of rivals; anxious or suspicious watchfulness.
HYPER-VIGILANCE
Excessive pre-occcupation with assessing potential threats around you.
LAZINESS
Dislike of work; unwillingness to work or be active.
LEGALISM
Strict adherence to rules of conduct without regard to the principles behind them; dependence on my behavior for my sense of self-worth.
LICENTIOUS
Lacking moral discipline or ignoring legal restraint.
LUST
Strong desire; unhealthy appetite especially in the area of sexual indlugences.
LYING
Not telling the truth; exaggerating; boasting.
MANIA
An excessively elevated sense of enthusiasm, interest or desire; a craze.
MINIMIZING
Making excuses for or making less of my behavior to make myself and others think I am not “that bad.”
OBSESSION
Consuming focus on a particular thought, action or person which you have difficulty escaping.
OPPRESSION
The act of subjugating by cruelty, force, etc. or the state of being subjugated in this way.
PEOPLE PLEASING
Doing activities based upon the positive reactions of people around me; making myself feel better by getting the approval of someone else.
PERFECTIONISM
Working to arrange my life so that everything and everyone in it is faultless according to my standards.
PESSIMISM
Always thinking on the bad side of a situation; refusing to see good in anything that happens; not looking at things from God’s point of view.
PETTINESS
Focusing on the small, meaningless things in my life; giving those things more importance than they deserve.
PHONINESS
Deceiving, being insincere; not being genuine; also includes emotional phoniness.
PRIDE
Too high opinion of myself; high opinion of my own worth or possessions.
PROCRASTINATION
Putting off something I should have done sooner to avoid unpleasant or undesirable consequences.
QUARRELSOME
Too quick to find fault; fond of fighting and disputing.
RACISM
Prejudice, discrimination or antagonism against people on the basis of their racial or ethnic group.
RESENTMENT
Unresolved anger; ill will; bitternesss.
SARCASM
A sneering or cutting remark; act of making fun of someone; harsh or bitter irony.
SELF-PITY
To feel sorry for myself, to live in regret of my past actions; continually reviewing my miseries, often blaming others for my troubles.
SELF-CENTEREDNESS
Being overly concerned with my own welfare or interests, having little or no concern for others, what I want is the most important thing.
SELFISHNESS
Caring too much for myself and too little for those around me.
SHAME
A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of uncleaness, embarrassment, unworthiness or disgrace.
SUICIDAL IDEATION
Obsession with ending one’s own life as a means of rescue.
UNDISCIPLINED
Untrained; lack of order, lack of self control; disobedient, impulsive.
UNGROUNDED OPTIMISM
Elevated reality detached from actual difficult realities.
VULGARITY
Immoral speech, actions or thinking about things that are unhealthy or immoral; making a practice of dwelling on these thoughts for pleasure or comfort.
Renouncing Lies and Vows
RENOUNCE
Formally declare one’s abandonment of a claim, right, or possession.
We have now seen the demonic influence from which our sinful patterns of coping arise. It is now time to renounce these former patterns of relating to God, self and others. Remember we are taking inventory of our hearts and becoming willing to rid ourselves of those items not useful in reflecting Christ. When Step 6 talks about being willing to have God remove all these defects of character, we are talking about being willing to totally surrender to His Lordship so we do not give the enemy a foothold. We need to renounce these patterns as well as the underlying lies we believe and vows we have made.
CHARACTER DEFECTS, SHORTCOMINGS
As we have said, character defects are self- generated meaning they are rooted in self rather than trust in God. There are often weeds in our gardens that look like flowers. They require energy that could go toward gospel fruitfulness and give a foothold to the enemy.
What unfruitful patterns of coping or character defects have surfaced during the assessments? List the ones you believe the Lord has been calling your attention to.
Do you desire freedom from these patterns? Are you ready to renounce or come out of agreement with them and ask God to remove them?
Lies from the enemy feed these unfruitful coping strategies. Often the focus of these lies is on self rather than on Him. For example: “I am unlovable” instead of “God is love”.
What specific lies are you in agreement with when operating in these dysfunctional patterns? List the lies.
Do you desire freedom from these lies? Are you ready to renounce these lies and come out of agreement with them?
Examples of lies and their corresponding truths: Lie Truth
• If I hadn’t desired love, then I wouldn’t have been abused.
• I need to look out for myself because no one else is going to.
• Evil took advantage of what is precious in God’s sight. It is not my fault. The desire to be loved is a good, God-given desire that He wants to satisfy. It is normal for people to ask why when they suffer (John 9:1-2). See John 9:3 for Jesus’ answer.
• God is a refuge. Only God can protect and defend me. Ultimately, living a life of self-protection, I create a greater mess.
• Nobody wants me because I am messed up and unlovable.
• The Creator of the universe chose me before the foundations of the earth. He loves and cherishes me.
VOWS
Vows are often focused on what I am going to do or not do (rooted in self). They are about self protection (ex. “I will never…” or “I will always…). We must renounce these vows and look to Christ for strength to follow God’s voice into whatever good plans He has for us.
What vows have you made that may be hindering you from following God’s voice? Are you willing to renounce the self-generated vows and look to Christ instead?
Are you willing to renounce these self-generated vows and look to Christ instead?
Examples of vows and their corresponding truths: Vow Truth
• I will never let anyone close to me so I won’t get hurt.
• I will never allow myself to be put in a shameful situation again.
• I will not desire anything. I will just be “neutral” and without opinions.
• I can trust God to protect me. His love frees me to love others, even if I get hurt.
• “Those who look to the Lord are radiant and their faces will never be put to shame” (Psalm 34:5).
• “A hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12). The Lord gives good gifts, and we can trust Him with our desires. We lack no good thing in Him (Psalm 34).
REPLANT IN TRUTH
REPLANT
Not only do we need to uproot from seeking to have our desires fulfilled through a corrupt world, we need to replant in the riches of the kingdom, by the Spirit. Living under the authority of Jesus allows us to live contently in a world that is dissatisfying. This shift nourishes our souls and brings about fruitfulness.
UNDERLYING DESIRES
In these patterns and practices we are often seeking some God-given desire to be satisfied.
What desires have you been seeking to fulfill? (Examples: Love, worth, value, significance, peace, control, safety, comfort, pleasure, stability, to be heard, validation, justification, compassion, hope, a future, power, justice, desirability, goodness, to be understood).
How has the world betrayed you and failed to satisfy your desires?
How does the Kingdom satisfy these desires?
SUMMARY (IN PREPARATION TO BE PRAYED OVER)
Summarize what you just processed into the following lists in preparation to be prayed over with your Mentor GOOD GOD-GIVEN DESIRES I HAVE TRIED TO SATISFY IN THE WORLD
Prayers of Repentance and Healing
Knowledge into the inner workings of our hearts and even the spiritual dynamics at work do not change us. We must pray to the One who has the power to bring about change. Following the pattern found in Jesus’ teaching on how to pray, we pray from a posture of submission and ask him to deliver us.
We renounce our former ways, offering ourselves to God, and under His grace, ask Him to deliver and heal us by the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. We also pray for blessing and empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live lives pleasing to Him.
This is a time to come before the Lord, lay our lives at His feet and ask that He bring freedom, healing and blessing. We must start by offering our lives completely to Him, to be useful according to His will and His kingdom purposes. We renounce lies, break vows and pray that He would deliver us from sinful patterns of relating to Him, ourselves, the creation and one another. This time of prayer should be for mental, emotional, spiritual, relational and even physical healing.
TO BE PRAYED BY PARTICIPANTS
Prayer to Come Under His Authority
Heavenly Father, I now see how I have lived in agreement with the ways of the world and for my kingdom, my name and my will. I now renounce those ways and offer myself completely to You to be utilized for Your kingdom plan and purposes.”
Prayer to Renounce Specific Lies (to be prayed over each lie)
Heavenly Father, please forgive me for believing the lie ____________. I renounce that lie and come into agreement with the truth that ____________.
Prayer to Break Vows (To Be Prayed Over Each Vow)
Loving Father, in my distress, I have vowed to/to never ____________. In doing so, I have alienated myself from You and sought to keep myself from harm. In doing so, I have placed myself under the devil’s authority and given him a foothold. I now break that vow by Christ’s authority and come to You as my protector. I trust You will give me the grace to overcome all that the enemy brings.
Prayer to Renounce Specific Patterns (to be prayed over each character defect)
Loving Father, please forgive me for the self-generated patterns of coping and seeking to satisfy my desires through the world rather than through your Kingdom. I renounce the pattern of (name character defect) in Jesus’ name.
TO BE PRAYED BY YOUR MENTOR
You should understand the prayer and be praying in agreement with your mentor as they pray over you.
Heavenly Father, for Your name’s sake and according to your love and mercy, we ask that you would deliver (participant’s name) from any demonic influence that is tempting him/her to (name practice/character defect) so that he/she may freely serve You and Your kingdom. Lord, we ask You to fill those places previously occupied by the enemy with the Holy Spirit and bless them in the name of Jesus Christ.
MARK 11:23–24
“Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
MATTHEW 7:9–11
“Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”
LUKE 10:19
Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you.
Getting to the Roots
LUKE 6:43-45
“For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”
Fruit in our life — good or bad — is really the outgrowth of what we __________________ what we __________________ , and what we give our __________________ to.
JAMES 4:1
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?
Questions: When you consider the people in your life …
Why do you get so annoyed when people do certain things?
Why are so many of your relationships filled with bickering and friction?
Why do you need people to be a certain way?
Why don’t you love people the way you should?
What is at the heart of this interpersonal tension?
Answer: Your passions are at war within you! (James 4)
hēdonē – (Gr.) hedonism: A lifestyle where you do what you want and you get what you want.
JAMES 4:2-4
You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
The original lie: you can go around God and not to God for ________________ , for validation, and for meaning — for your life to be significant.
Spiritual adultery: giving the intimacy and worship that were created for ____________ to things and people.
The base of our dysfunction is an over-desire or a passion that roots deeply and infects our hearts.
DESIRES
The Lord has given all of us good _______________ .
Matthew 7:9
Psalm 34:7
Over-Desires – idolatry, or elevating something to first place in my heart.
Remember the parts of self that were hurt or threatened from your assessments:
SelfEsteem Personal Relationships Material Security Emotional Security Ambitions Sexual Relations /Sexuality
More Examples of Good Desires:
Dignity
Worth Value
Significance
Justification
Respect Relationship
Love Belonging
Validation
To be heard
Compassion
To be understood
To be fully known
Security
Peace
Comfort
Control
Safety
Stability
Justice Hope A future Power
Goodness
Desirability Pleasure
Connection
Under-Desires – shutting off God-given desires in an attempt to self-protect.
God does not want our desires to ______________ us, and He does not owe us the fulfillment of our desires on our own terms.
SONG OF SOLOMON 2:7
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.
Satan wants to draw your attention away from God and to make you ____________________ just like he is.
JAMES 4:5-10
Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”
- C.S. Lewis
THE TACTICS OF THE ENEMY
Satan is always going to pounce on your ___________________ .
MATTHEW 4:3
And the tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.”
Satan wants you to make this about yourself!
THE PROVISION OF GOD
MATTHEW 4:4
“It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
I am not my desires.
What is means to be faithful in the Kingdom of God.
I am obedient to the Lord because my life is spoken for.
Jesus shows us what it means to _____________ _____________ when our desires are not being met.
The fool always disadvantages the community for the sake of himself, but the wise person disadvantages themselves for the sake of others.
BEING ROOTED IN GOD’S KINGDOM
God can break us by His grace from the curse of our self-absorption and the bad _____________ that’s come with it.
Truth From this Week:
We renounce our former ways, offer ourselves to God, and, under the waterfall of His grace, ask Him to deliver and heal us by the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. We also pray for blessing and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live life according to His kingdom purposes.
The battle of your life is to continue to ________________ those old ways, to ______________ by His grace, and to ______________ in the kingdom of God.
We mortify the flesh, that which has already been crucified.
We renounce hollow lies (repent of our obsession with other peoples’ stories).
We recognize that the enemy is a mocker/deceiver/schemer, and we resist him, knowing that he will flee from us because of the power of Jesus Christ.
ELEMENTS OF THE LORD’S PRAYER (MATTHEW 6:9-13)
Worship:
o "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name" (v.9)
o Acknowledge God's holiness and your desire to honor Him.
Kingdom and Will:
o "Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" (v.10)
o Express a desire for God’s will to be carried out.
o Acknowledge God’s authority.
Petition for Needs:
o "Give us this day our daily bread" (v.11)
o Request God to provide your daily needs.
Confession and Intercession:
o "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" (v.12)
o Request for forgiveness of sins.
o Acknowledge your need to forgive others.
Guidance and Protection:
o "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil" (v.13)
o Petition for protection from temptation.
o Ask for help identifying the lies of the Devil.
Worship:
o "For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever"
o Declare God's sovereignty and authority.
Prayer Requests:
WEEK TEN
The New Heart
Day One
CAUSES OF QUARRELS AND FIGHTING
READ JAMES 4:1–10
1. What is at the heart of fighting and quarreling?
2. What does our unrighteous anger reveal?
JAMES 1:20 The anger of men does not produce the righteousness of God.
3. What does James suggest is part of the problem at the end of verse 2?
4. According to verse 3, what is at the heart of their prayers?
5. According to verse 4, how does God view our attempts to satisfy our desires through the world rather than Him? Is our biggest problem horizontal or vertical?
6. What hope do we find in verse 6? Contrast the way God relates to the humble and the proud.
7. The devil can tempt us with destructive anger to be used as a tool for his purposes. What are we instructed to do in verse 7–8?
8. In light of God’s grace, what are we instructed to do in verses 9–10?
9. Contrast the outcome of the humble against that of the proud (self-exalting).
REMINDER: The anatomy of temptation involves real personal evil (Satan and demons) enticing the flesh through the world. We must resist evil and not come into agreement with it.
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE
JAMES 3:17
But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.
Day Two
HOW THE BATTLE IS FOUGHT
READ EPHESIANS 6:10–20
1. What are we instructed to do (v. 11)? For what purpose?
2. The passage states that we are engaged in spiritual warfare (v. 12). What supernatural power are we up against?
3. The imagery of this passage describes a soldier dressed for battle. Why is it important for believers to put on the full armor of God as we engage in daily warfare? (v. 13)
COLOSSIANS 2:15
He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.
4. What makes up the armor of God in verses 14–17? How might each piece of armor help us stand firm?
5. Verses 18–20 offer instruction on prayer. When, how, and for whom do we pray? Belt Truth Recognize the Enemy’s Lies. Piece of Armor Spiritual Resource Help for Standing Firm
OFFERING OURSELVES AS LIVING SACRIFICES
READ ROMANS 11:33–12:8
1. How did Paul respond to the revelation of God’s wisdom and knowledge in bringing about our redemption in Christ? (v. 33)
2. Compare verse 34 with 1 Corinthians 2:16. What additional insight do you get by reading both passages together?
3. Compare Romans verse 35 with Job 41:11. What additional insight to you get by reading both passages together?
4. Chapter 12 begins with an appeal based on gospel truths. What is the basis of Paul’s appeal? What was he exhorting believers to do?
5. In verse 1, how is the connection between the use of our bodies and our spiritual reality described?
6. What does Paul tell us not to do in verse 2? What does he tell us to do? Why?
7. In offering ourselves to God, we are to be used as instruments for His redemptive purposes. Describe how God intends us to function according to verses 3–8.
Day Four
JESUS’ EXAMPLE IN ASKING
READ MATTHEW 6:6–13
1. What danger are we told to guard ourselves against in verse 5 regarding our prayer life? What are the benefits of a secret prayer life?
2. What danger are we told to guard ourselves in verse 7 regarding our prayer life?
3. To whom does Jesus have us pray in verse 9? Where is He located? What are we to ask of Him?
4. What does Jesus tell us to daily ask for in verse 11? If we are submitted to the kingdom, for what purpose are we asking?
5. What does Jesus tell us to daily ask for in verse 12? What expectation does Christ say is part of that request?
MATTHEW 6:14–15
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
6. What does Jesus tell us to daily ask for in verse 13?
READ MATTHEW 7:7–11
7. What are the conditions to these promises?
8. Who is inviting us to ask, seek, and knock?
JOHN 4:10
Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”
9. How does verse 11 shift your focus on viewing God as a good father?
Day Five
JESUS’ AUTHORITY
MATTHEW 7:28–29
And when Jesus finished these sayings, the crowds were astonished at his teaching, for he was teaching them as one who had authority and not as their scribes.
Authority is the power or right to give orders, make decisions and enforce obedience.
READ MATTHEW 8:1–10:1
1. Who approaches Jesus in Matthew 8:1–4? How does he approach Him? What happens? Over what does Jesus demonstrate His authority? What does this reveal about what God is doing spiritually through the kingdom?
2. Who approaches Jesus in Matthew 8:5–13? How does he approach Him? What is the context? What happens? What does this reveal about what God is doing spiritually through the kingdom?
3. How and over what does Jesus demonstrate His authority in verses 14–17? In verses 23–27? In verses 28–34?
4. Jesus is demonstrating who He is and that He alone is worthy of our following. What is the cost of following Jesus according to verses 18–22?
5. In Matthew 9:1–8, Jesus shows His authority to heal a paralyzed man. Why does Jesus say he is doing this physical healing (v. 6)?
6. Who did Jesus come for (vv. 12–13)?
7. Describe the scene when Jesus heals two blind men. What is God doing spiritually through the kingdom that correlates?
8. What does Jesus then say to do in 9:37 and 10:1?
GOD IS JEALOUS FOR OUR HEARTS
READ LUKE 18:18–30
1. How did Jesus respond to the rich man? How did Jesus reveal the truth about who He is (v. 19)?
2. How does Jesus use the law (v. 20)?
3. What is Jesus addressing in the rich ruler’s heart in terms of what he loves most or worships?
MATTHEW 6:21
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
4. Why do you think it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God?
5. With whom is this impossible? Where then can we find hope (v. 27)?
6. How did Jesus highlight the First and Second Commandments and the first part of the Great Commandment (vv. 29–30)?
REVELATION 3:17
You say, I am rich. I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.
7. What is the cost of following Jesus? What is the relative value of giving up things in this life for the sake of the kingdom?
Day Seven
MENTORSHIP DISCUSSION PREP
1. Internal ruling desires lead to fights and quarrels. What desires tend to rule your heart and trigger unrighteous anger?
2. How do you usually deal with conflict?
3. How we use bodies is a reflection of what we worship. If someone wants to observe your daily routine and corresponding practices, what would they conclude you worship or serve?
4. We tend to worship/fear that which we believe has what our hearts desire. What desires are you trying to satisfy and where are you seeking to satisfy them?
5. Where do you tend to seek value, worth and significance?
GALATIANS 6:14
But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.
6. We all have an innate desire to belong and be included in something bigger than ourselves (community). Historically where have you fought to belong? What was required of you to belong?
7. We tend to form community around shared values, interests and loves. What bonds the community in which you feel most connected? What is attractive about those relationships?
8. To what degree has seeking to meet your own material needs motivated your work?
PHILIPPIANS 4:19–20
My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.
9. In the story of the rich young ruler we see that his wealth hindered his obedience to follow Christ. What hinders your obedience to Christ?
10. When we withhold lordship (authority) from Christ in any area of our lives, whom do we give that lordship to by default? Who then do we serve?
11. Jesus taught us how to pray. In your own words, how did Jesus teach us to pray?
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 6: In attempting to live independent of God, we have developed dysfunctional (sinful) patterns of coping. After careful examination, we have begun to see the demonic roots of our slavery to these sinful patterns. We desire freedom.
12. What defects of character do you most identify with (see assessments). Are you ready to have God remove all of those?
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 7: We renounce our former ways, offer ourselves to God and, under the waterfall of His grace, ask Him to deliver and heal us by the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. We also pray for blessing and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live life according to His Kingdom purposes.
13. Personally ask Him to remove them.
MATTHEW 7:9–11
Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
MARK 11:23–24
Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, “Be taken up and thrown into the sea,” and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
WEEK ELEVEN
Forgiveness
Day One
GOSPEL-CENTERED COMMUNITY BRINGS UNITY
READ MATTHEW 18:1–20
1. We see conflict among the disciples in verse 1. What are they arguing over?
2. How does Jesus intervene in an effort to resolve the conflict (v. 2–3)?
JAMES 3:16
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.
3. How does the example of becoming like children give the disciples insight into how they must enter the kingdom of heaven? What virtue is the basis for greatness in the kingdom of heaven (v. 4)?
MATTHEW 5:3
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4. According to verses 5 and 10, how should Christ’s covenant community respond to those seeking help and direction in their weaknesses? What characteristic of God’s heart is exemplified?
5. What awaits those who mislead or take advantage of others in their weakness? How do these verses show us God’s heart of justice?
6. If the church is meant to receive but not mislead, where are we to lead broken people?
MATTHEW 19:14
But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.
7. Rather than despising these “little ones,” what are we to do if they go astray (vv. 10–14)? What do we see about God’s heart?
8. Our pursuits reveal the things we love. How does the covenant community’s pursuit of a straying sheep reveal God’s heart? What does a church’s lack of pursuit indicate?
9. What takes place when the sheep that strays is found?
10. What processes of loving correction does Jesus outline when addressing a brother or sister who sins against you (vv. 15–16)?
11. What role do other believers serve in this process (v. 16)?
12. If the person does not listen, even to the church, what steps should the church take to discipline him or her?
13. What authority has been given to the church (v. 18)?
Day Two FORGIVENESS
READ MATTHEW 18:21–35
1 . Peter apparently believes he is being very gracious in the question he asks Jesus (v. 21). How does Jesus respond to Peter?
2. How much does the first servant owe to his master? What would that equate to today? What does the law require?
3. What does the first servant offer to do? Is it realistic (v. 26)?
4. How does his master respond (v. 27)?
5. What does the first servant do to the second servant (v. 28)?
6. How does that compare to what the first servant owed the master?
7. What does the second servant offer to do (v. 29)?
8. How does the first servant respond? What does this reveal about his heart (v. 30)?
9. How do the fellow servants or witnesses respond (v. 31)?
10. How does the master deal with the first servant (v. 34)?
11. What lesson is Jesus teaching (v. 35)?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSES
MATTHEW 6:14–15
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Day Three
MORE ON CONFRONTING AND FORGIVING
READ LUKE 17:1–10
1. How likely is it that you will encounter “temptations to sin” when sinned against (v. 1)?
2. How do Jesus’ words in verse 2 remind us of God’s justice?
3. What are you instructed to do if your brother sins according to verse 3? If he repents, what are you commanded to do?
POINT OF INTEREST: There are two aspects to forgiveness. We are always commanded to forgive from the heart by entrusting offenses to the Lord vertically. For the relationship to be reconciled, a person must recognize and confess their sin so that horizontal forgiveness is granted.
4. Jesus tells the disciples that obedience in forgiving requires faith only the size of a mustard seed. If faith is not the issue, what is the issue?
5. Jesus tells the story of the servant coming in from the field to support His point (vv. 7–10). How do you think he felt at the end of a long day plowing in the fields?
6. What is the servant not asked to do? What is he asked to do?
7. Is his obedience predicated on feeling like it?
8. How much does Jesus’ command to forgive have to do with how we feel?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSES
LEVITICUS 19:17–18
You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD.
Day Four
CONFRONTING – EXAMPLE FROM SCRIPTURE
READ 2 SAMUEL 11
1. Summarize the story of David and Bathsheba.
READ 2 SAMUEL 12
2. Who does the Lord send to confront David (v. 1)?
3. What story does Nathan tell David to help him see the injustice of his actions (vv. 1–4)?
4. How does David respond to the injustice? What did the man in the story deserve? What restitution was required?
5. How does the Lord see David’s injustice (v. 7–10)?
6. What generational effects will come from this (vv. 10–12)?
7. David’s sin was in private; will the consequences be seen by others (v. 12)?
LUKE 12:2
Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be made known.
Day Five
AMBASSADORS APPEALING TO THE LOST
We have been entrusted with the ministry of reconciliation, imploring those straying or lost to be reconciled to God and pointing them to the cross where they can receive God’s grace.
Purpose: The book of Jonah shows us God’s compassion for the world He created and cares so deeply about. He challenges us as His ambassadors to see if our character reflects His.
Setting: Nineveh is the Assyrian capital city. The Assyrians were enemies of the Israelites and were known for their cruelty.
READ JONAH 1–4
1. What does God ask of Jonah?
2. What is Jonah’s response? Where is Jonah fleeing in his disobedience?
PSALM 139:7
Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?
3. Research the direction and distance of Tarshish and Nineveh from Jonahs’ hometown Gath-hepher (near Nazareth.) What did you find?
5. What is evident from Jonah’s prayer while inside the fish?
6. What does God ask of Jonah at the beginning of chapter 3? Does His request sound familiar?
7. How does Jonah respond?
8. How do the people of Nineveh respond? How does God respond to them?
9. We might expect the story to end after chapter 3. Whom does God continue to engage in chapter 4?
10. What is Jonah’s response to God’s mercy on the people of Nineveh?
11. What do we learn about God’s heart toward the Ninevites?
EXODUS 34:6–7
The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”
12. What does God’s pursuit of Jonah’s heart say about God’s desire for the hearts of His people?
Day Six
UNITY IN THE BODY OF CHRIST
READ EPHESIANS 4:1–16
1. What is Paul calling the church in Ephesus to pursue (v. 1)?
2. How do verses 2–3 describe this “walk”?
3. How does Paul, in his repetitive use of “one,” remind us of what unifies believers in Christ?
4. What is true for every believer according to verse 7?
5. What specific roles does Christ give for the equipping of the saints (v. 11)?
6. What are gifts meant to equip the saints to do (v. 12)? Until when (v. 13)? Why (v. 14)?
7. How does verse 15 describe the mature man?
8. What does a functional church body require? What is the result?
Day Seven
MENTORSHIP DISCUSSION PREP
1. As people confess sin to us and ask for forgiveness, we should be eager to extend it. Our willingness to forgive is evidence that Christ’s forgiveness has transformed our own hearts and that it is our desire that they be reconciled to God. Prayerfully consider and list those whom you might have difficulty forgiving and why?
LUKE 15:7
Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.
2. Are there brothers or sisters in Christ who may have sinned against you and continue to walk in significant, unrepentant sin? If so, develop a plan with your mentor to be an agent of reconciliation.
GALATIANS 6:1
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.
3. Now that bitterness, fear and shame no longer rule you, are there those outside the body who may have hurt you and need to be offered peace with God through the blood of Christ?
4. Where are you stuck? Prepare to discuss with your group anyone with whom you are unwilling to make amends, forgive, confront or share the gospel. Why are you unwilling?
5. Are there any fears you have in making amends, forgiving, confronting someone’s sin or sharing the hope of the gospel? Why are you afraid? How does God speak to our fear?
6. Are there any relationships that you believe are beyond repair? Why? Spend time in prayer, specifically for those situations.
7. Are there any other questions or issues you are facing?
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEKS 8 & 9: As ambassadors of Christ, we are to be instruments of grace when we confront those who sin against us. We hand offenses over to God and extend eager forgiveness to those who ask for it. In this way, fellowship with God and amongst His people are preserved.
Faithful Action
JAMES 2:26
For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.
The fullness of life is found in Jesus Christ. As we behold Him, we want to become like Him. We will want to live as He lives and do what He does. Galatians 5:6 tells us, “For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith working through love.” For each person, faith must express itself in action flowing from a regenerate heart that loves Jesus. These are not works to earn God’s love but rather are expressions in response to God’s love.
LOVING GOD (VERTICAL)
Enjoying God and practicing spiritual disciplines so we might know Him and the power of His resurrection
Expressions of gratitude — enjoying His gifts and entering into His ministry and church
Stoking the flames of gospel-motivated worship — expressions of loving Him with our whole heart, mind, soul and strength both individually and corporately
Obedience to His statutes — learning, doing and sharing with others
Continued mortification of sin — putting to death these things that rob us of our affections for Him
LOVING OTHERS AND SELF (HORIZONTAL)
Making disciples for Christ
Reflecting the heart of God and mind of Christ in our city and to the ends of the earth
Gospel-empowered ministry and mission
Gospel-saturated community
Seeking reconciliation when we sin or are sinned against
Taking care of your body, the temple of God
Asking your Father in heaven for what you need
Additionally, your Mentor should help you develop a plan for how you will intentionally continue to maintain these healthy practices after Thrive concludes.
Forgiving Others
STEPS WE’VE BEEN TAKING IN THRIVE:
1. Seeing God rightly – Who God really is, and how He “invades our lives,” rescuing and offering redemption to all. (Vertical)
2. Understanding ourselves – Exposing roots (patterns, lies we believed, vows we made) and choosing to repent, surrendering our wills to our Redeemer.
3. Loving others rightly – In light of all the above, taking steps of faithful action and sharing God’s grace and forgiveness with others. (Horizontal)
MATTHEW 22:34-40
“But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
THE WAY WE ENGAGE
WITH OTHERS IS INFORMED BY WHAT TAKES PLACE
We love like God tells us to love, and we live in harmony with others when we follow His commands. When we don’t do it God’s way, we get:
Dissention
Disunity
Disfunction
LOVING OTHERS THROUGH
FORGIVENESS – ______________________ ANOTHER FROM THE PENALTY OF SIN.
REMEMBER HOW CHRIST FORGAVE US:
He has released us from the penalty of our sin, because He paid the penalty for us. He absorbed all of the cost of our sins.
He didn’t put conditions on forgiveness (like we often do).
This is the forgiveness we have received from God, and this is the forgiveness we are called to extend to others.
THE PARABLE OF THE UNFORGIVING SERVANT:
MATTHEW 18:23-35
“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
WHY DO WE FORGIVE?
We forgive because we’re ______________________ .
“Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until he has something to forgive.”
-
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
Where are you in this process?
It is possible for us to forgive yet not ____________________ the facts.
There are times when it is also wise to remember the sin that was sinned against you. In serious situations—especially with the wisdom and support of trusted believers—forgiveness is still right, but forgetting may not be.
Forgiveness is more about ______________ ______________ own heart posture before the Lord.
The one who sinned against you doesn’t have to be part of the process for God to begin healing your heart. Forgiveness is something the wronged person chooses as a part of the surrender to God the justice that only belongs to Him.
ROMANS 12:19 (referencing Deuteronomy 32:35)
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
A
FORK IN THE ROAD: When I … choose resentment choose forgiveness … I will increasingly become characterized by … anger and bitterness . Christ-likeness.
HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO MORE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS?
There is intimacy in relationships like marriage that requires more forgiveness and loving confrontation than in any other relationship.
How to identify more primary contexts for confronting and forgiving:
Proximity – Who are you around most often?
Time – Who do you spend most of your time with?
Opportunity – Who is most often available to sin (or be sinned) against?
INTIMACY AND INFLUENCE
Remember the various influences on your heart. Try labeling them below. Who is closest to you? Who is most influential? What people or groups of people are next? This diagram can help you see the closeness of more intimate relationships and how they affect us (and how we affect them).
EPHESIANS 4:32
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
FOUR ASPECTS OF FORGIVENESS
1. Forgiveness is cancelling a debt owed to you.
2. Forgiveness is removing the control the wrongdoer has over you.
3. Forgiveness is wanting good for the wrongdoer and seeking reconciliation when possible.
4. Forgiveness is both a one-time event and an ongoing process.
MATTHEW 18:21-22
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
70 x 7 = 490, but this isn’t the correct math for forgiveness!
Jesus is saying that we are to walk out this ethic of forgiveness continually and forever.
“FRUIT” OF ONGOING FORGIVENESS
The following statements are promises you make regarding the incident you are letting go of:
“I will not dwell on this incident.”
“I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.”
“I will not talk to others about this incident.”
FORGIVENESS IS FOR US, BUT IT’S ALSO __________________ US.
When we forgive God’s way, it demonstrates God’s love for His people in a way that the watching world can see.
When others see us execute forgiveness as a radically free gift, absorbing its cost in ourselves, they ask “How-why do you do that?” We can answer, “I couldn’t. The task is beyond my capacity. When I embraced the Gospel, God came into me and I gained His capacity to forgive. It still hurts, but it now hurts like the pain of childbirth, because I know it is a testimony to the new life in me.”
-
Brad
Hambrick,
“Forgiveness, A Lovely Idea”
Truth From this Week:
Relationships break down because of sin. If there were no sin in the world, relationships would work harmoniously, evidenced by love and unity. Division among God’s people provides opportunities to identify sin and purify the body. The gospel of Jesus Christ brings about justice in a way that the law cannot by inwardly reconciling the very heart of injustice to God. As those forgiven by God, we can humbly approach those affected by our sin and make amends. This change of heart brings glory to God by demonstrating the power of the gospel and reflecting His heart in bringing justice through His reconciled people.
Blanks: horizontally; vertically; releasing; forgiven; forget; your own; beyond
Your next Mentor meeting will cover contents from the Day 7 homework a few pages back, as well as anything from today’s lesson and group conversation.
WEEK TWELVE
Reconciliation
Day One
DEALING WITH OUR OWN HEARTS FIRST
MATTHEW 7:3
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
READ EZEKIEL 14:1–8
1. The elders of Israel come before the prophet Ezekiel seeking wisdom (v. 1). What does the Lord want to talk to them about first (vv. 2–4)?
2. According to verse 5, why does God want to talk to the elders about these things?
3. We worship what sits uppermost in our affections. When we live for and worship something other than God it is called idolatry. How does the Lord instruct us to deal with our idols?
4. What is God most concerned about?
5. Consider the imagery. Will we see rightly if there is a stumbling block of inequity (idolatry) obstructing our vision? What do you think we will tend to focus on?
6. How then does idolatry cloud our judgment?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE
MATTHEW 7:5
You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
Day Two
MINISTRY OF RECONCILIATION
READ 2 CORINTHIANS 5:11–21
1. We tend to fear that which we believe has what we need. Knowing that, what fear drives Paul and his companions?
2. Why does Paul talk about the fact that he has clean motives and a pure heart?
1 SAMUEL 16:7
But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him.
For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.
3. What motivation compels them (v. 14)?
4. How does the text explain their apparent lack of self-concern?
JOHN 12:25
Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.
5. We tend to make judgments about people based on outward appearance. How are we no longer to regard people?
6. How does God describe those who are in Christ according to verse 17? What is significant about these words?
REVELATION 21:5
And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
7. According to verse 18, what is also true about those who are in Christ? What is our ministry?
8. With what message have we been entrusted (v. 19)? For whom are we messengers (v. 20)? What does the message contain (v. 20)?
JOEL 2:12–13
“Yet even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster.
9. What does it mean to be an ambassador?
Day Three
MOTIVATION OF LOVE
READ 1 CORINTHIANS 13
1. Verses 1–3 list a number of ways we may be gifted spiritually. If we exercise these gifts without love, what does it amount to?
2. What is love? What is it not? What does it do? What does it not do (vv. 4–7)?
3. What will never end? What will end?
4. As we mature, what will we give up?
2 CORINTHIANS 5:15
He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.
5. How does Paul describe our ability to see in verse 12? What does this verse promise?
6. Which of the three attributes in verse 13 is the greatest? In what sense is it the greatest?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE
1 JOHN 4:19
We love because he first loved us.
Day Four
WALK
IN LOVE
READ EPHESIANS 5:1–14
1. What instruction does verse 1 give? How is a child’s imitation of his or her parents an example of how we should imitate God?
2. How does Christ’s example show us how to love one another (v. 2)?
3. What does this not include according to verse 3? What gospel identity do we find with these commands?
4. What does Paul say has no place among the saints? What should be there instead (v. 4)?
5. What is true of those who are not changed by the gospel and continue to live out of their sinful nature (v. 5)?
6. What “empty words” do you suppose Paul is warning the church about (v. 6)?
7. What warning does Paul give the church in verse 7?
8 How does Paul remind the Ephesians of what God has done through the gospel to lead them away from disobedience towards fruitfulness (v. 8)?
MATTHEW 7:21
Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
9. How does Paul say we should interact with those who justify these practices (v. 11)?
Day Five
GO AND BE RECONCILED
READ MATTHEW 5:23–26
1. What should we do if we remember someone has something against us?
2. What is the order of priority in these verses?
3. Is there a sense of urgency?
4. What does this say about God’s desire for unity within the church?
5. When we keep “short accounts,” it means we deal with our debts to others (offenses) in a timely manner. Why do you think God calls believers to keep short accounts (v. 25)?
COLOSSIANS 1:10
So as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him; bearing fruit in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God.
READ NUMBERS 5:5–7
6. What general principles does this text teach us when we realize our sin against another?
7. Though our sins affect others, who are we breaking faith with?
READ LUKE 15:18–19
8. What posture does the younger son assume as he approached the father?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSES
LUKE 15:18–19
“I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.’”
Day Six
MINISTRY OF RECONCILIATION – EXAMPLE FROM THE SCRIPTURES
READ PHILEMON AND WATCH THIS VIDEO:
1. List elements of this letter that stand out to you.
2. What would you implement in your own communications toward reconciliation?
3. How does Paul approach Philemon? Based on his authority, could he have approached him differently (v. 8–9)?
4. Who is the minister of reconciliation in this letter? Who is the offending party? Who is the offended party? What evidence of God’s grace would be necessary if these two parties are to be truly reconciled and unified in their hearts?
Day Seven
MENTORSHIP DISCUSSION PREP
MATTHEW 7:12
So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
1. How does fear prevent you from loving others like Christ? Give specific examples from your own life (confronting difficult situations, evangelism, etc.).
1 JOHN 4:18
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
2. Have you ever used your knowledge and intellect as a source of pride to beat people down rather than build them up? Give examples.
1 CORINTHIANS 8:1
“Knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up.
3. Describe times when your own idolatry has distorted your judgment in acting according to God’s will.
4. In Matthew 5:23, the Lord teaches the importance of being reconciled prior to offering our gifts. Describe situations in which you offended someone with whom you need to be reconciled.
5. Are there people or institutions who you are unwilling to confess to and make restitution? Be specific.
ROMANS 12:18
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
NUMBERS 5:5–7
And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to the people of Israel, when a man or woman commits any of the sins that people commit by breaking faith with the LORD, and that person realizes his guilt, he shall confess his sin that he has committed. And he shall make full restitution for his wrong, adding a fifth to it and giving it to him to whom he did the wrong.”
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEKS 8 & 9: Relationships break down because of sin. If there were no sin in the world, relationships would work harmoniously, evidenced by love and unity. Division among God’s people provides opportunities to identify sin and purify the body. The gospel of Jesus Christ brings about justice in a way that the law cannot, by inwardly reconciling the very heart of injustice to God. As those forgiven by God, we can humbly approach those affected by our sin and make amends. This change of heart brings glory to God by demonstrating the power of the gospel and reflecting His heart in bringing justice through His reconciled people.
In addition to the section you just completed, you will also discuss the following section with your mentor this week. Please read over the next few pages as you prepare to meet with your mentor.
Seeking Reconciliation
The work of reconciliation displays God as a just God who cares and is intent on bringing justice to the oppressed. We arrive at this justice through the reconciliation of our hearts to His through the gospel of grace, which cures what the law cannot. The gospel actually transforms the hearts from which injustice flows.
The light of Christ shines into our hearts. It exposes darkness while providing hope of restoration through the reconciling work of Jesus Christ. He Himself demonstrates the power and possibility of overcoming sin, suffering and death.
For those of us who are forgiven by God and are now living as His ambassadors, this process allows us to bring light and hope to a dark world from a God who is reconciling all things. We are to use all of our energy and resources to glorify His name. It is an opportunity to testify to the character of God as being both just and merciful in confessing our wrongs with a sincere desire to make things right.
Restitution is often a forgotten component of repentance. A repentant heart in light of God’s grace is willing to forsake worldly costs because of the promise of Christ for all eternity.
WILLINGNESS AND WISDOM
We need to be willing to make amends but use wisdom in making them. For example, it might not be wise to make direct amends in dangerous situations. It might not be wise to look up every person you have ever had a sexual experience with and invite them to coffee. It might not be wise to meet with a married person of the opposite sex without their spouse. You might use wisdom and sensitivity in the words you choose and consider your audience in acknowledging your wrongs. It might not be wise to confess sinful thoughts or attitudes to someone who is unaware that you thought of them in that way. It might not be wise to force an amends before a person is willing to receive it. Remember, we are led by the Holy Spirit. He will impress on you who to approach, when to approach and may even bring some unexpected opportunities to make peace.
The exception, “except when to do so would injure them or others” is often used as a cover up for unwillingness. For example, we should not use this as an excuse to not confess adultery, claiming it would hurt the other party too much. Confession allows true healing to occur rather than covering up the sin that disrupts fellowship. As long as secrets abide, we cannot have true fellowship. In not confessing adultery, a marriage is based in deceit. In confessing situations which include sexual sin, please spare the other person the specific details of sexual sin as that may make healing unnecessarily difficult.
TEMPLATE FOR RECONCILIATION
Peacemaker Ministries suggests the “7 A’s of Confession,” which we altered slightly:
1. Address those affected
2. Avoid excusing your wrongs or being overly dramatic in an attempt to invoke pity
3. Admit specific attitudes and actions
4. Acknowledge the hurt and express regret for harm caused
5. Accept the consequences and be willing to make restitution
6. Accompanied by altered attitudes and actions
7. Ask for forgiveness
Example: “I am grateful that God has granted me this opportunity to speak with you today. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me today. God has been doing amazing things in my heart. He has both provided me hope and also exposed the depths of my sin. In light of this, I deeply regret how my sinful attitudes and actions have affected you. I am here to ask for your forgiveness. (Explain how you wronged this person.) I regret the harm I have caused you. I know I can’t heal the wounds I have caused, but I serve a God who can. Will you forgive me? What can I do to make it right?”
Often times we already know what we need to do to make it right. If we owe someone money, we may be prepared to pay them with interest. Sometimes we are not in a position to make full restitution at that point but can give something and make arrangements for future payments.
For those of us who have used religion, the Bible or God as a cover up, it is wise to acknowledge that up front.
CAUTION
We can only go as far as God allows us. If making it right is contrary to the will of God in your life, you may not sin against Him to make amends to someone.
TYPES OF RECONCILIATION
RELATIONAL
In rebellion to God’s created order we have lived for ourselves and in doing so have used people for our selfish desires. Now reconciled to God, we desire to make amends for harm done through our selfish ambitions.
LEGAL
At times this self-seeking has led us not only to rebel against God, but to break laws intended to uphold and safeguard our society. At times this may mean making amends and possibly restitution for harm done.
PROFESSIONAL
We may not have been faithful to the responsibilities entrusted to us professionally.
FINANCIAL
There may be monetary compensation required to make things right with another party.
RELIGIOUS/SPIRITUAL
We may need to confess and ask for forgiveness for misleading someone spiritually.
LIVING
A person may not be willing to hear from us, in which case we must demonstrate the gospel’s altering effects in our lives by living faithfully and responsibly.
From your assessment, write those names you feel God would have you reconcile with. Seek wisdom from your mentor before pursuing those people.
Loving Confrontation
LUKE 17:1–4
And he said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin. Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
When we see someone playing in the street, it would be unloving not to help them out of the street. When we see others in a destructive pattern, it is loving to try and help lead them to Christ. This is especially true in the body of Christ where love, unity and pursuit of holiness should be characteristic. The Bible gives us a process to walk through when we have a brother or sister stuck in a pattern of sin.
When confronting someone in sin, it should always be motivated by love. It is as if you are offering a gift, desiring to be helpful. We must remove ourselves from the equation as we are there to pursuade them to be reconciled to the goodness and mercy of God. We have already entrusted the offense to God and we are on an errand for God, not seeking anything for ourselves. We are there to offer eager forgiveness to those who ask and help formulate a plan of restoration, if needed.
MATTHEW 18:15–20
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.
As ambassadors of Christ, we are to be instruments of grace as we confront those who sin against us. We hand our offenses over to God and extend eager forgiveness to those who ask for it. And in this way, fellowship with God and among His people is preserved.
Make a list of the people you believe might be well served by confronting an on-going pattern of sin, in hopes of seeing them reconciled to God.
Confession and Amends
MATTHEW 5:23-24
So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Obedience to the Spirit’s conviction is part of worship.
ROMANS 12:1 (The Message paraphrase)
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.
RECONCILIATION
RECONCILIATION – THE ____________________ OR BRINGING TOGETHER OF TWO PARTIES WHICH ARE AT ODDS
Reconciliation restores fellowship, harmony and unity to broken relationships.
Reconciliation is the essence of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
WE ARE TO BE ____________________ OF RECONCILIATION
2 CORINTHIANS 5:17-21 (EMPHASES ADDED)
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation . Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
ASPECTS OF TRUE RECONCILIATION:
1. Repentance – an authentic change of heart that results in a genuine intent to turn away from the sin that is contributing to the brokenness.
2. Confession
3. Forgiveness
Last time we talked about forgiving others who have wronged us. The aspect of reconciliation that we are talking about in this lesson is confession
CONFESSION
CONFESSION – AN ____________________ OF REAL REPENTANCE THAT ACKNOWLEDGES YOUR SIN OR WRONGDOING.
ELEMENTS OF GENUINE CONFESSION:
• Goes beyond saying you are sorry.
• Admits the specific attitudes and actions of the offense (name it and own what you have done)
• Acknowledges the hurt that has been caused.
• Accepts consequences of the sin.
| This includes giving the other person time to heal.
| Sometimes trust must be earned back after a major breach.
• Requires altering your behavior.
| Continuing to repeat similar patterns demonstrates you may not be truly repentant.
| Remember, you can only change your behavior if you allow God to change your heart.
ROADBLOCKS TO A GOOD CONFESSION:
1. Fear
- Worry about rejection, loss of trust, or damaged relationships
- Avoidance of discomfort or accountability
- Fear of being misunderstood or not forgiven
2. Pride (see Proverbs 11:2)
- Unwillingness to admit wrong
- Desire to protect image or reputation
- Not wanting to appear weak
3. Bitterness or Self-Righteousness (see Romans 8:1)
- Focusing on the other person’s sin instead of your own
- Justifying your behavior because you were also hurt
4. Minimizing or Justifying/Rationalizing Sin (see Proverbs 16:2)
- Saying “It wasn’t that bad” or “You misunderstood me”
- Blaming others or circumstances
- Using “good intentions” to avoid facing harm done
Is there another roadblock specific to your own confession?
WHO DO I CONFESS TO?
1. First to _____________ .
Our sins are primarily against God. (See Psalm 51:4a)
2. Then to ________________ wronged.
WHY CONFESS?
• God strongly encourages it. (1 John 1:9; Proverbs 28:13; Psalm 32:5; James 5:16)
• Confession shows a willingness to be humble and a desire to make things right.
• It is a sign that we depend on God’s approval, validation and justification, rather than the acceptance we get from the positive opinion of others.
Even if there’s a mess on both sides of the street, we’re responsible for ___________ side.
• That’s the part we can actually control!
• If we want to be a redemptive influence, we must start by owning and cleaning up what’s ours.
• There’s no room for comparison. It’s about humility and integrity.
MATTHEW 7:3-5
“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
Our priority must be that which we can control: Confessing our part. But Jesus’ model still addresses both sides of the street.
My side: The Log
o First, address your own side.
Their side: The Speck o Then also go to help your brother.
(A follower of Jesus will do both!)
But confession alone isn’t the full picture. Where there has been real harm, words must be followed by action. This is where “making amends” comes in.
AMENDS
AMENDS – TAKING ACTION TO ________________ THE HARM CAUSED BY SIN
It includes confession but adds things like restitution, changed behavior, and rebuilding trust.
Confession admits the wrong; Amends seeks to make it right.
TYPES OF AMENDS:
• Direct amends (face-to-face conversations or restitution)
e.g.: “I lied to you. I want to own that, apologize, and restore what I’ve damaged.”
• Indirect amends (when direct contact would cause more harm)
e.g.: Writing a letter when a face-to-face conversation would retraumatize someone.
• Living amends (ongoing change in lifestyle and behavior that shows growth and commitment to integrity).
e.g.: When you should not interact with the person, choosing sobriety, faithfulness, or new habits over time to actively live out a change.
CHECKING OUR HEART IN LOVING OTHERS WELL
In making amends, we pursue God’s ________________ and fight against our ________________ .
Oftentimes we are blind to any poor motives as we attempt to make things better.
Bad Apology
“Sorry if you were offended.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
EPHESIANS 4:15
Good Confession
“I was harsh and impatient with you. I see that now and I’m sorry.”
“Even if I didn’t mean it that way, it hurt you. That matters to me.”
… speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ
PROVERBS 19:11
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
RECONCILIATION IS NOT ALWAYS ____________________
Some reasons for this:
1. Lack of Repentance or Confession on the Other Side
- Reconciliation requires participation from both parties.
-If the other person denies wrongdoing, shifts blame, or refuses to engage, full restoration isn't going to be possible. (Matthew 18:15-17)
2. Ongoing Harm or Unsafe Behavior
-If one party continues to be abusive, manipulative, or unsafe, reconciliation may be unwise or dangerous. (Proverbs 22:3; Romans 16:17)
3. Hardness of Heart or Immaturity
-One party may be unwilling to forgive, even after a sincere confession and effort to make amends (Hebrews 12:15).
-If one party pursues peace while the other remains stuck in immaturity or self-focus, reconciliation may stall or remain incomplete (Romans 12:18).
4. Not Enough Time Has Passed
-Rebuilding trust takes time. Reconciliation may be a future possibility, but not immediate (Proverbs 25:19).
-The relationship may remain in an altered state or feel different while healing occurs.
5. Circumstantial Barriers -Death
-Imprisonment or Legal Restraints (legal consequences or no-contact orders)
-Mental or Physical Impairment (e.g., dementia, coma, or other conditions)
Even with humility and effort, reconciliation may not always occur. But a faithful heart willing to confess and make amends honors God regardless of the outcome.
ROMANS 12:18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Truth From this Week:
As ambassadors of Christ, we are to be instruments of grace when we confront those who sin against us. We hand offenses over to God and extend eager forgiveness to those who ask for it. In this way, fellowship with God and amongst His people is preserved.
Your next Mentor meeting will cover contents from the Day 7 homework a few pages back, as well as anything from today’s lesson and group conversation.
WEEK THIRTEEN
Joyful Living
Post-Thrive Action Plan
The following space is yours to create your own action plan in areas where you’ve identified struggles.
1. To choose a topic for your action plan, go back and review your Assessments. Look at the “Gospel Pursuits” sections of each and choose something from what’s listed.
Examples:
Anger and Resentment:
O People
O Institutions
O Spiritual principles
Sexual Immorality:
O Pornography
Guilt & Shame:
O Self-righteousness
O Critical
O Unlovable
Fear:
O Fear of rejections/loneliness
O Fear of the unknown/the future
O Fear of conflict/confrontation
Grief:
O Loss of a relationship
O Death of a loved one
2. What setting or place is especially difficult for you when it comes to this struggle? (Choose real life situations.)
Examples:
When I am alone
Meeting with my supervisor at work
Scrolling through social media
Visiting family
3. What triggers might set you off? Triggers can be physical (not being able to sleep at night, being hungry) mental (thinking about things from your past, rehearsing something you did/said in your mind), or emotional (I felt lonely, depressed, or exhausted).
4. What people or things might be taking God’s place in your heart?
(Refer to the “What Part of Self Was Threatened” in the each of the assessment sections)
Self-esteem – the desire for love, worth, and value
Personal relationship – the desire to belong and have meaningful relationships
Material security – the desire to feel materially secure or gain material wealth
Emotional security – the desire or drive for peace of mind and emotional security
Sexual relations/sexuality – sexual desires
Ambition – future plans and hopes in any of the previous areas
5. What lies from the enemy continue to have an influence on you?
(Refer back to the “Getting to the Roots” section you already completed.)
6. What actions keep you responding to your (sin, suffering, specific struggle) in a way that impacts your life negatively?
Examples:
Rehearsing the details of conversations from a specific situation in my mind (bitterness)
Not monitoring my inner thought life
Not having internet restrictions on my computer and/or phone
Avoiding being vulnerable with others
Choosing to sweep my feelings under the rug
7. What actions keep you close to the Lord? You can choose from the following list and/or add your own ideas below.
Ongoing confession (review individual prayer prompts from assessments if needed)
- Being completely honest
- Talking out loud to a safe person
- Telling the full background story in detail
- Revealing thoughts, desires, and emotions
- Taking enough time to process and pray
- Reaching out during the time of need
- Turning away from sin
Morning and evening devotions
Scripture meditation or memorization
Spending time with my close friends
Practicing rhythms of Sabbath
Serving the needs of others
Attending my small group
These actions are your action plan. Work with your Mentor to hold you accountable to taking a further step now that the structure of Thrive is no longer a part of your daily/weekly spiritual commitment. Ask your Mentor and members of your Thrive small group to pray for you in areas of temptation that you’ve identified above.
Make Disciples: Sharing the Joy of the Lord
Joy hasn’t met its completion until it’s been passed on and ________________ .
God Himself is extending an invitation to enter into His __________ .
The God of the universe is extending a personal invitation to join Him in His _____________ .
Genesis 1:22 – We exist to make much of God.
Genesis 3 – The image of God is broken but still present; The purpose is still there, but it’s just changed in direction.
Genesis 12:1-3 – The call to multiply God’s image, name, fame and glory to the ends of the earth.
The Great Commission:
MATTHEW 28:18-20
And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
The Great Commandment:
MARK 12:30
“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”
Gospel in; Gospel out God is saying the joy isn’t meant to stay within us, but to flow out of us. This is His joy!
HIS MISSION IS OUR MISSION
God is literally making His appeal through __________ .
Be reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5:20)
Because Jesus’ authority is global, His _____________ is global.
Jesus’ _____________ is global.
ACTS 1:8
“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”
The Spirit will come upon you, and you will be My _____________ .
• Not defenders or avengers
• But testifiers, declarers and sharers
THE HOPE OF JESUS CHRIST AND HIS CHURCH
Testifying:
You could walk out of _____________. You could walk out of the bondage of _____________ that all of us were born into.
God is inviting you to take this story that He’s given you – the story of _____________________ , the story of hope, the story of God who loves you, cares for you, and has demonstrated His love and His care for you in the sending of His Son.
2 CORINTHIANS 5:21
For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
Truth from Our Final Week in Thrive: Before the foundations of the earth, God chose us, the church, to live as instruments of His grace to a lost and dying world, bearing witness to His wisdom and power through the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is our joy-filled worship to make much of His name. Empowered by the Holy Spirit, we bring a comprehensive gospel, demonstrated by our deeds and proclaimed by our words with the goal of glorifying God through making disciples for Jesus Christ. In this way, we embody Christ, being His hands and feet here on earth.
This message is the greatest invitation to _____________ .
God is extending a generous and genuine invitation to _____________ Him in His work - His work of redemption.
And then many will fall away and betray one another and hate one another…. And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.
READ HEBREWS 12:1–16
1. What are we to actively lay aside (v. 1)? Why? How?
2. The preceding chapter serves to help us see “a cloud of witnesses” exemplify faith while enduring suffering. Who is the example they followed (v. 2)?
3. What did Jesus do in despising shame? What motivates Him (v. 2)?
4 What reality do we still struggle with in verse 4?
JAMES 1:2–4
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
5. What is true about the one the Lord disciplines (v. 6)? For what purpose (v. 10)?
6. What is true about discipline (v. 11)?
7. In light of this, what are we called to and why (vv. 12–13)?
8. What should we strive toward according to verse 14?
9. What are we called to in verses 15 and 16?
Day Two
TRIALS, TESTING AND TEMPTATION
READ JAMES 1:1-21
1. Who is James addressing in verse 1? What is their situation?
2. How does James say we should consider trials in our life (v. 2)?
3. God uses trials to test. In what sense does He test (v. 3)?
4. What is the purpose of this testing and what is the result?
1 PETER 1:7
So that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
5. If we lack wisdom when undergoing trials what are we instructed to do? Why?
6. How should we view living for worldly wealth and perishing enjoyments (vv. 10–11)?
7. What man will be blessed going through these trials? What will they receive (v. 12)?
8. In trials we are tempted. Who should we not blame when tempted (v. 13)? Who is responsible when we sin?
HEBREWS 10:36
For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.
9. Temptation comes from influence of the enemy and is based on lies. How are we instructed in verse 16?
10. The world around us, our feeling, and the cloak of the Deceiver changes. But what is true of God?
Day Three
THE SURPASSING WORTH OF KNOWING CHRIST
READ PHILIPPIANS 3:2–21
1. What warning does Paul give in verse 2?
2. How does he describe the true circumcision (v. 3)?
3. Where do those who are not of the true circumcision derive their confidence? What do they point to for their righteousness (v. 4)?
4. What reasons could Paul give for having confidence in the flesh (self-confidence)?
5. What does he count those things? What does he count everything (v. 7–8)? Why?
6. What is of infinite worth (v. 8)?
7. For what is Paul willing to forsake all his gain in this world (vv. 8–9)?
8. How does Paul view suffering and hardship (v. 10)?
9. What is he seeking to attain (v. 11)?
10. Summarize Paul’s words in verses 12–16.
11. What warning does Paul give in verses 17–21? Who or what are they serving and what is the corresponding result?
MATTHEW
7:21–23
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’
Day Four
TRAINING AND DISCIPLINES
D.A. CARSON HAS SAID:
“People do not drift towards holiness. Apart from grace driven effort, people do not gravitate towards godliness, prayer, obedience to scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift towards compromise and call it tolerance; we drift towards disobedience and call it freedom; we drift towards superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch towards prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide towards godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated.”
READ 1 CORINTHIANS 9:24–27
1. What do these verses compare our lives to? What instructions are we given (v. 24)?
2. What is true of athlete’s in general? Why (v. 25)?
3. Compare and contrast the prize we seek in our Christian walk versus that in a competitive race (v. 25).
4. How do these verses instruct us to run?
5. What happens if you stop working out and caring for your body physically? How does this physical example provide you insight into practicing spiritual disciplines?
6. According to verse 27, what may happen if you are not in “good shape” spiritually?
READ MATTHEW 6:1–18
7. What warning does Jesus give in verse 1, regarding acts of righteousness (some of which are spiritual disciplines)?
8. What do the hypocrites do? Why do they do it? What is their reward?
9. What should we do? What will be our reward (vv. 2-4)?
10. When you fast, what should you not do? What should you do? (vv. 17-18)
MATTHEW 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Day Five
FILLING A THIRSTY SOUL
READ PSALM 63
1. Where is David when he writes this song? How does verse 1 describe this land?
2. According to verse 1, where does David turn during these difficult circumstances to quench his thirst? How would you describe this pursuit? What does this reveal about his heart?
DEUTERONOMY 8:2
And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not.
3. How does David’s orientation in difficulty demonstrate worship?
4. How confident is David that he will be satisfied and praise God?
5. Who is the source of his confidence (v. 2)? Why?
6. What does David consider better than life (v. 3)?
7. What does David believe he will find in his pursuits (v. 5)?
DEUTERONOMY 8:3
And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.
8. When will David’s soul be satisfied (v. 6)? Why (v. 7)?
ROMANS 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
9. What is David’s soul doing as God upholds him (v. 8)?
10. As one who is serving the kingdom, what happens to those who oppose David and seek to destroy his life?
READ EPHESIANS 5:15–21
11. The preceding section is a wake-up call to the family of God to walk in love by not participating in unfruitful deeds of darkness but instead live as fruitful children of light. How does verse 15 call us to live? Why (v. 16)?
12. What pursuits provide more pleasing fruit to the Lord and for your life? (vv. 19–21)
POINT OF INTEREST: A lifestyle of gospel-centered worship is a life of joyful obedience in response to the immeasurable riches of His grace toward us in Christ.
Day Six
READ LUKE 8:4–15
1. Who is Jesus’ audience for this parable?
2. After reading verse 10, does it appear Jesus intended for everyone in the crowd to understand His message?
3. Which soil has the ability to receive God’s word in a way that leads to a fruitful life?
4. Looking at verses 5–8, describe each of the four types of ground on which the seed falls.
6. How does Jesus explain the situation of the seed falling along the path? What does this represent? What is the result?
7. How does Jesus explain the situation of the seed falling among the rocks? What does this represent? What is the result?
8. How does Jesus explain the situation of the seed falling among the thorns? What does this represent? What is the result?
9. How does Jesus explain the situation of the seed falling on good soil? What does this represent? What is the result?
GENESIS 1:28
And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
Day Seven
MENTORSHIP DISCUSSION PREP
2 TIMOTHY 4:7
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
1. What sin or weight do you need to lay aside in order to run the race well?
2. What trials are you currently facing in your life? What ways are you tempted to shortcut God’s purposes of sanctification while under trial?
3. What fruit would you expect in your life when you are walking by the Spirit? How does this express itself in your life with the people and circumstances you encounter (family, coworkers, children, prayer life, etc.)?
4. What practices will need to remain in your life after this study is over to maintain spiritual health and continued growth?
5. With which ground (from Luke 8:5-8) do you most identify? Do you typically disregard God’s call to obedience, do you become discouraged, are you distracted or does it shape you?
6. If you were to utilize all that Christ has entrusted to you for His Kingdom purposes, what would change?
MATTHEW 25:23
His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’
7. When you are thirsting in the wilderness, where does your soul turn for satisfaction? What does this reveal about your heart? Does this lead to fruitfulness in difficulty?
JEREMIAH 17:7-8
Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.
8. On what do you tend to obsess, fantasize, meditate or dwell? Be specific. What is the result (fear, lust, anger, anxiety, depression, worship, praise, joy, etc.)?
9. What stirs your affections for Christ?
10. Being undisciplined leads to laziness or apathy. How are you disciplined in daily engaging spiritual disciplines? If you are undisciplined, why?
PROVERBS 24:30–31
I passed by the field of a sluggard by the vineyard of a man lacking sense and behold, it was all overgrown with thorns; the ground was covered with nettles, and its stone wall was broken down.
11. What does a disciplined life look like specifically for you?
12. What is your goal and motivation in living a disciplined life?
PSALM 63:1
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
13. Are there things you need to say no to in order to say yes to the Lord? How does keeping Him first in your heart affect how you relate to your spouse, work, family, friends, food, sex, etc.?
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 12: We continue in the fear of the Lord, putting to death those things that rob our affections for Christ while persevering in loving, joyful obedience to Him. When we are out of step with the Spirit, we quickly return to the Lord with a heart of repentance as He trains us in godliness and grows us spiritually.
PHILIPPIANS 3:10
That I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM WEEK 12: Since He is our ultimate joy, peace and pleasure, we seek to know Him and fill ourselves with those things that stir our affections for Him. We practice spiritual disciplines so that our hearts, prone to wander, might stay in rhythm with His.
Discipleship: Persevering and Pursuing
What does it take to endure or be motived to persevere all the way to the end of the “race?”
The gospel is continuing to create __________ and ___________ within us to continue.
Mortification
putting sinful things to death
ROMANS 8:13
Vivification what fills us up, and/or stirs our affections for Christ … leads to …
For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
JOY
JOY – Deep, overwhelming, even painful ______________ and yearning for something near yet unattained, tinged with unwavering _____________ .
Joy is the result of our pursuit of ______________ . COLOSSIANS 3:1-4
Christian Hedonism:
“God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.”
- John Piper
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
• We only need Christ.
• We do not need other teachers or mediators in order to be unified with Christ.
______________ with Christ is the foundation of our joy.
UNION WITH
CHRIST
1. We’re growing in increasing _____________________________ to Christ. 2. It shapes how we see the world and pursue .
Christ becomes my treasure .
• Set your minds on things that are above, not earthy/temporal.
• But this is not our tendency …
People do not drift toward Holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; we drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; we drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated.”
― D.A. Carson
SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES
1. The of God
2. ____________
3. 4. ______________
5.
UNION WITH CHRIST (CONTINUED)
3. We __________________ with a sense of an enduring joy.
| In ongoing sanctification (being made more and more like Christ over time)
The __________________ is at work to help you persevere. We are being disciplined, but God’s Spirit is at work within us.
| In the face of suffering …
JOHN 16:33
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
PERSEVERING THROUGH SUFFERING
1. We must ___________________ our understanding of suffering and trials.
JAMES 1:2-4
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Instead of considering it as punishment or abandonment, these trials make us steadfast.
| Trials help us endure.
| We can count trials as something producing joy within us – to walk in.
| Suffering is a necessary part of the process of persevering.
2. We must see that persevering through suffering is an element that is found in ___________________.
PHILIPPIANS 3:8-9
Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith
There’s this understanding of persevering that I can endure the loss of things, the trial of things, the pain of things, that I might be able to _____________ Him better.
In persevering, for the believer, there is a _________ that comes in knowing and pursuing Him.
Truth From this Week:
We continue in the fear of the Lord, putting to death those things that rob our affections for Christ while persevering in loving, joyful obedience to Him. When we are out of step with the Spirit, we quickly return to the Lord with a heart of repentance as He trains us in godliness and grows us spiritually. Since He is our ultimate joy, peace and pleasure, we seek to know Him and fill ourselves with those things that stir our affections for Him. We practice spiritual disciplines so that our hearts, prone to wander, might stay in rhythm with His.
1. We previously looked at the commissioning of the prophet Isaiah (Isaiah 6). Why do you think this passage in Matthew 28:16–20 is referred to as the “Great Commission”?
2. Who told the disciples go to Galilee? Looking back at verse 10, what hope motivates them to go there?
MATTHEW 28:10
Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee, and there they will see me.”
3. How do they respond to His appearance (v. 17)?
4. What gospel truth does Jesus convey about himself when He appears to the disciples after His resurrection (v. 18)? What does that mean regarding the resources at His disposal? What implication does that have for us as his disciples as he sends us out?
5. With what gospel imperative does Christ instruct His disciples? What verbs does he use in commissioning them to do this work?
6. Jesus says to make disciples by teaching them to obey all His commands. How is this different from just teaching them all His commands?
7. Jesus is not just comforting them with words but is demonstrating His authority, even over death. Why might this be important as He sends them into the world (v. 20)?
READ GENESIS 12:1–3
8. How do the verses in Matthew 28 echo God’s call of Abram?
9. How does God’s call to Abram further the mission of Genesis 1:28?
10. For what purpose is Abram blessed and raised up according to verse 2? Who is Abram’s blessing to bless according to verse 3?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE
EPHESIANS 2:10
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Day Two
THE CHURCH IS BORN
READ LUKE 24:36–53 AND ACTS 1:1–12.
The book of Acts continues Luke’s gospel account and records the events surrounding the birth of the first century church.
1. What does Jesus open the disciples’ minds to understand at the conclusion of Luke?
2. What does Jesus say should be proclaimed and to whom?
1 JOHN 1:4
And we are writing these things so that our joy may be complete.
3. How does God empower His people to carry out His mission (Acts 1:8)?
4. Verse 8 serves as an outline for the book of Acts. What does Jesus want His disciples to do with this power?
5. What question do the angels ask those looking into the clouds?
6. What truth do these messengers bring?
7. Why do the disciples travel to Jerusalem?
8. What follows their obedience (see chapter 2)?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSE
ACTS 1:8
But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.
Day Three
PREDESTINED TO THE PRAISE OF HIS GLORY
READ EPHESIANS 1:3–14
1. What has God done for those in Christ (v. 3)? Why (v. 4)? When did he choose us (v. 4)?
2. Whom should we praise? What word does Paul use that expresses his affections for Christ (v. 6)? What has He done (v. 5)?
3. What do we have in Him? According to what (v. 7)?
4. What was God’s purpose in making His will known (v. 10)?
5. What have we obtained? According to what? Why (v. 11-12)?
6. Whom did we receive as a seal, guaranteeing our inheritance (vv. 13–14)?
Day Four SPIRITUAL GIFTS
ROMANS 12:4
For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function.
For the body of Christ to function properly, the individual members must be exercising their gifts as God arranges His people for His purposes.
READ 1 CORINTHIANS 12:4–31
1. Complete the following:
2. For what purpose are these gifts given (v. 7)?
3. Verses 8–10 give a non-comprehensive list of the gifts. What point is Paul trying to make (v. 11)?
4. What metaphor does Paul introduce in verse 12, to help us to see how these variety of gifts are to function with one another?
5. When we elevate particular gifts, it can keep those who have different gifts from feeling valued or like they belong. What is the danger of us belonging to bodies that only value certain gifts (v. 17)?
6. How does God unite these different backgrounds (v. 13)?
7. It would seem that Paul is suggesting that no one in the body of Christ should be neglected. What does he suggest (v. 22–26)?
8. Perhaps the ranking of activities and related gifts is according or potential impact and visibility but all gifts are necessary to function properly. What gifts appear here that were not included earlier in the chapter?
9. What is the more excellent way Paul speaks of in verse 31? (see 1 Corinthians 13:1–13)?
1 CORINTHIANS 13:2
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
READ MATTHEW 25:14–30
10. What is the point of the parable told by Jesus?
Day Five
POWER AND PERSECUTION
READ ACTS 5:12–33
1. Why did the Sadducees have the apostles arrested (v. 17)?
2. What happens while the apostles are in prison? What are they instructed to say?
3. What is the apostles’ response?
4. What do the officers find when they went to bring the apostles before the council?
5. Why did the apostles disobey the council (v. 29)? What is their message (vv. 31–32)?
1 PETER 3:14–16
But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.
6. How did the council respond to the truth according to Acts 5:33?
MEDITATE ON THE FOLLOWING VERSES
LUKE 21:12–15
But before all this they will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name’s sake. This will be your opportunity to bear witness. Settle it therefore in your minds not to meditate beforehand how to answer, for I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict.
Day Six
INVITATION INTO THE VINEYARDS
READ MATTHEW 20:1–18
1. Who is the kingdom of heaven compared to in this parable?
2. Who typically would you say are selected first in hiring day laborers?
3. How is the activity of those in the marketplace described in verse 3 and 6?
4. On what basis do these later workers agree to work?
5. What do you think is the significance of the marketplace verses the vineyard?
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.
6. When those who came last are given a full days wage, what do you think their attitude is in receiving it?
7. What does that reflect about the character of the master?
8. What is the attitude of those who came first when they received what they had agreed to? Why?
9. What does this reveal about their belief in terms of why they were invited into the vineyard?
10. How does this help to explain verse 16?
Day Seven
MENTORSHIP DISCUSSION PREP
1. How has God blessed you so that you might be a blessing to others?
2. How has God gifted you — both naturally and supernaturally — with spiritual gifts from the Holy Spirit? How will you use those gifts to serve and build up the body of Christ? Be specific.
3. How will you use the testimony of God’s grace in your life to persuade others toward Christ?
REVELATION 12:11
“And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.”
4. Where has God placed you to serve? How do you think others would describe your heart in serving?
5. God has called us to make disciples. How will you take what you have learned through this discipleship process to make disciples for Christ?
6. Acts 17 tells us that God places us at the exact time and place where He wants us. How are you living missionally within your community?
7. How will you continue to practice all that you have learned through this process? Who will keep you accountable?
8. With what attitude will you engage/re-engage the world around you? How might pride hinder your effectiveness?
9. The book of Joshua recounts the Lord’s powerful deliverance of the Israelites into the Promised Land. As they step out in faith, He holds back the raging waters of the Jordan River so they might cross to safety. The Israelites are then instructed to pick up stones from the riverbed to remind them of the Lord’s faithfulness. As you have stepped out in faith and walked through this process, how has God demonstrated His faithfulness?
MATTHEW 5:14–16
You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
EPHESIANS
3:8–10
To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.
BIBLICAL TRUTH FROM THIS WEEK: Before the foundations of the earth, God chose us, the church, to live as instruments of His grace to a lost and dying world, bearing witness to His wisdom and power through the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is our joy-filled worship to make much of His name. Empowered by the Holy Spirit, we bring a comprehensive gospel demonstrated by our deeds and proclaimed by our words with the goal of glorifying God through making disciples for Jesus Christ. In this way, we embody Christ, being His hands and feet here on earth.
Appendices
Thrive - Glossary of Theological Terms
Mostly in order of when introduced or explained:
Term Definition Introduced Phase
GREAT COMMISSION, THE
BAPTISM
RECONCILED / RECONCILIATION
The instructions Jesus gave to His followers after He rose from the dead and before He returned to heaven. In Matthew 28:1820, Jesus tells His disciples to go into the world, help others become His followers (called “disciples”), baptize them, and teach them to obey everything He taught. This mission wasn’t just for those first disciples it’s a calling for all Christians today. The Great Commission reminds us that Jesus has all authority and that He promises to be with us as we share His message with others.
A public act to show that a person has decided to follow Jesus. They are briefly fully submerged in water as a symbol of being washed clean from sin and starting a new life with God. Baptism doesn’t save a person, but it shows others that the person trusts in Jesus and wants to live for Him. In the Bible, Jesus was baptized, and He told His followers to baptize others who believe in Him (see Matthew 28:19; Romans 6:3-4).
With God: To be “reconciled” means that a broken relationship has been made right again. In the Bible, reconciliation describes how the relationship between God and people damaged because of sin is restored. This restoration begins with God. He took the first step by sending Jesus as a perfect sacrifice to die in our place so that we could be forgiven and brought back into relationship with our loving Father (see Romans 5:10-11; 2 Corinthians 5:18-19). When someone responds to God’s offer by trusting in Jesus, the reconciliation is complete they are no longer separated from God but are part of His family. Because of this, Christians are also called to pursue peace and restored relationships with others.
Between People:
When two people are reconciled, it means their relationship once hurt or broken has been made right again. This usually involves one or both people being willing to forgive, to admit wrong, and to work toward restoring trust. In the Bible, reconciliation between people reflects God’s heart: just as He took the first step to make things right with us through Jesus, we’re called to take steps toward peace with others (see Matthew 5:23–24; Colossians 3:13). Reconciliation doesn’t always mean the relationship goes back to exactly how it was, but it does mean choosing to forgive, pursue peace, and honor God in how we relate to one another.
Day 1
Orientation
SIN
Sin is anything we think, say, or do that goes against God’s perfect character, commands, or design. It includes breaking God’s laws, but also failing to do what is right. Sin separates people from God because He is holy and cannot ignore evil. All
Day 1
Week 2
JUSTIFICATION
JUSTICE
PROPHECY
JUDGEMENT
people have sinned (Romans 3:23), and the result of sin is spiritual death and brokenness in our relationship with God and others.
Justification means God declares a person right with Him because of what Jesus has done not because of anything we’ve earned. When someone trusts in Jesus, God forgives their sin and sees them as righteous. It happens instantly and is a free gift, received by faith (see Romans 5:1; Ephesians 2:8–9). Because of justification, we are fully accepted by God and no longer under His judgment.
Justice is God’s perfect way of always doing what is right and fair. It means that God treats everyone according to what they deserve rewarding good and punishing wrong. Because God is holy and just, sin must be punished.
Prophecy is when God, through His Spirit, speaks to His people by using someone to deliver His message. Often, this message includes warnings, calls to repentance, encouragement, or revealing what God plans to do in the future. The Bible shows many prophets, like Isaiah and Jeremiah, who spoke God’s words so people would know His will (see 2 Peter 1:20-21, Amos 3:7).
Judgment is when God, who is perfectly holy and just, decides the final outcome for every person based on their words and actions (Hebrews 9:27). Because all people have sinned, everyone will one day stand before God’s judgment (Romans 14:10-12). Those who have trusted in Jesus will be declared righteous and receive eternal life, but those who reject Him will face punishment for their sins (John 5:22-29).
Days 1-2
CONDEMNED / CONDEMNATION
GOSPEL
To be condemned means to be declared guilty and punished for sin. The Bible teaches that all people deserve condemnation because of their sins (Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23).
Condemnation is God’s righteous judgment against sin.
Historical: Long before it was used in the Bible to describe Jesus’ message, it referred generally to any announcement of “good news” or “glad tidings.” such as the news of a king’s victory, a birth, or a peace treaty in ancient times. This word carried the idea of royal or imperial good news that people were called to receive and respond to.
Gospel of Jesus Christ: The gospel is the good news about Jesus Christ. It tells us that because of our sins, we are separated from God (Romans 3:23). But God loves us so much that He sent His Son, Jesus, to live a perfect life, die on the cross for our sins, and rise again (1 Corinthians 15:3-4). Through faith in Jesus, we can be forgiven, made right with God, and have eternal life (John 3:16, Ephesians 2:8-9).
Day 2
Day 3
Day 5
Day 7
Large Group Teaching
REDEMPTION / REDEEMED
REPENTANCE / REPENT
Redemption means being rescued or bought back from sin and its consequences by the price Jesus paid. Because we were slaves to sin and death, Jesus “redeemed” us by His death on the cross, paying the full price to set us free (Ephesians 1:7, Colossians 1:13-14). When we are redeemed, we belong to God, forgiven and restored to a right relationship with Him.
Repentance means to sincerely turn away from sin and turn toward God. It’s a change of heart and mind that leads to a change in actions. The Bible calls us to repent because our sins separate us from God (Acts 3:19, Luke 13:3). When we repent, we admit our wrong, thank God for His forgiveness, and choose to orient our attention to Him instead.
Unrepentant: To refuse to turn away from sin and reject God’s call to change. The Bible warns that those who remain unrepentant will face God’s judgment (Romans 2:5-8, Hebrews 10:26-27).
Large Group Teaching
SUBMISSION
WORSHIP
OBEDIENCE
GRATITUDE
Willingly placing yourself under the authority, leadership, or care of another, out of respect and trust. In the Bible, submission is about surrendering to God. This extends to His design for order in relationships like in the church, the family, or government (Ephesians 5:21-24, Romans 13:1). True submission is not about weakness, but about standing strong in trust for God and choosing to follow Him by respecting those He has placed in leadership.
Our response to who God is and what He has done. It is a heart orientation that gives God the honor, love, and praise He deserves with our words, our actions, and our affections (Romans 12:1, John 4:23-24). Worship can include singing, praying, learning from God’s Word, serving others, or simply living in a way that shows God is first in our lives. True worship comes from knowing God and wanting to glorify Him.
Doing what God says, out of love and trust for Him. It’s not about trying to earn His approval, but about responding to His grace with a willing heart. Jesus said that if we love Him, we will obey His commands (John 14:15). Obedience shows that we believe God’s ways are best and that we want to follow Him in every part of life (James 1:22, 1 John 2:3-6).
A thankful heart toward God for who He is and all He has done. In the Bible, we are called to give thanks in every situation because God is always good and faithful (1 Thessalonians 5:18, Psalm 107:1). Gratitude is not just saying “thank you,” but living in a way that shows we remember and appreciate God's grace, mercy, and daily provision. The opposite is grumbling or forgetting what God has done (Philippians 2:14, Deuteronomy 8:11).
Day 1
Day 1
Day 1
Day 1
SALVATION
FAITH
RIGHTEOUS / UNRIGHTEOUS
God rescuing us from sin and its eternal punishment, and giving us everlasting life through Jesus (Ephesians 2:8-9). It comes by grace, through faith not by our own efforts. The opposite is remaining lost in sin and separated from God forever (Romans 6:23, John 3:36).
Faith means trusting God believing in who He is, what He says, and what He’s done through Jesus even though we can’t see or touch Him like we do the physical world (Hebrews 11:1). Faith isn’t based on feelings or visible proof, but on confidence in God’s Word and His character. It’s depending on Him, not ourselves, to save us and lead us (Hebrews 11:1, Ephesians 2:8). The opposite of faith is relying only on what we can see, feel, or control, instead of trusting God with our lives (2 Corinthians 5:7).
To be righteous means to be right in God’s eyes living according to His ways and being in right standing with Him. On our own, no one is righteous because we all make mistakes (Romans 3:10).
But God freely gives us the righteousness of Jesus, His Son, when we trust in Him (2 Corinthians 5:21).
To be unrighteous means living apart from God’s ways, continuing in sin, rejecting the free gift of Jesus, and standing guilty before a perfect God (1 Corinthians 6:9).
Day 1
HOLY
WISDOM
FORBEARANCE
To be holy means to be set apart by God as pure and different from sin. God is perfectly holy completely good and without any sin (1 Peter 1:15-16). When we follow Jesus, God calls us to live holy lives, turning away from sin and reflecting His goodness. The opposite of holy is sinful and unclean (Isaiah 6:3, Romans 6:19).
Wisdom is knowing and doing what is right according to God’s Word. It means understanding life from God’s perspective and making choices that please Him (Proverbs 2:6, James 1:5). True wisdom comes only from God and leads us to live in a way that honors Him. Worldly wisdom on the other hand, is not real wisdom and is based on human knowledge or ideas that are independent of God, often leading to pride and wrong choices (1 Corinthians 3:19, James 3:13-17). The opposite of God’s wisdom is foolishness ignoring God’s guidance and making harmful choices (Proverbs 1:7, Romans 1:22).
Patiently enduring wrongs or suffering without giving up or getting angry. It is God’s kindness in holding back punishment and giving people time to repent (Romans 2:4, Psalm 86:15). We are called to show forbearance to others by forgiving and being patient, just as God is patient with us. The opposite is impatience or harshness toward others (Ephesians 4:2, Colossians 3:13).
Day 1
Day 1
Day 2
Day 2
Day 4
COVENANT
In ancient cultures, covenants were like extending a family bond joining two parties in a permanent relationship, often described as lasting “until death.” This alliance meant both families would protect and defend each other as if they were blood relatives. Covenants included agreed-upon behaviors so that those joined would treat each other like brothers. In the Bible, a covenant is a solemn promise between God and His people. God promises to bless and care for them, and they agree to obey Him. In the Old Testament, God made covenants with Noah (promising never to flood the earth again), Abraham (promising to bless his descendants), and Moses (giving the Law to guide His people). These covenants pointed forward to the New Covenant through Jesus, who perfectly fulfilled God’s promises by offering forgiveness and new life to all who believe (Jeremiah 31:31-34; Hebrews 8:6-13).
Day 6 Week 4
ADOPTION
SANCTIFICATION
Adoption is God’s special way of making us His children. In the Bible’s ancient context, being adopted as a son meant receiving full rights as an heir someone who would inherit everything the father owned and carry on the family name (Romans 8:15, Galatians 4:4-7). This shows God’s view of both men and women as equal heirs in His Kingdom. When we trust in Jesus, God welcomes us into His family with all these rights and blessings. Adoption means we are no longer slaves to sin, but part of God’s forever family, fully accepted and loved.
The process by which God makes us holy, changing us to be more and more like Jesus in how we think, live, and love (1 Thessalonians 4:3, Romans 8:29). It begins when we trust Jesus and continues throughout our whole earthly life as the Holy Spirit helps us grow. The opposite is living in sin without change or growth (1 Corinthians 6:11).
Day 7
Large Group Teaching
GLORIFIED
CONVERSION
COSMIC / SPIRITUAL REALM
To be made perfect and like Jesus forever. It happens when believers receive new, eternal bodies and live with God forever in heaven (Romans 8:30, 1 Corinthians 15:42-44). Being glorified is the final step after salvation and sanctification.
The moment and process when a person turns from sin and turns to God by trusting in Jesus. It involves a change of heart and mind, a decision to follow Christ, and beginning a new life with God (Acts 3:19, 2 Corinthians 5:17). Conversion is the start of our relationship with God and the beginning of spiritual growth.
The metaphysical, unseen world where God, angels, and spiritual forces exist and influence our lives (Ephesians 6:12). Other physical with things that we can see like family, friends, culture, geography, and civilization are all encompassed within this spiritual realm. Understanding this helps us see that not all struggles come just from our environment or ourselves, but also from spiritual battles beyond what we can see. It also helps us see God’s sovereignty (or rule) is over all of these things.
Large Group Teaching
Large Group Teaching
Large Group Teaching
SOVEREIGNTY
PETITION
RESTITUTION
Sovereignty means God is in complete control over everything in the universe. Nothing happens outside of His power or plan, and He rules with wisdom and goodness (Psalm 115:3, Isaiah 46:9-10). This means God is never surprised or powerless. The opposite is chaos or chance, where things happen without order or purpose.
When we ask God to help us or meet our needs. It’s a form of prayer where we bring our requests to God, trusting that He hears us and cares about what we need (Philippians 4:6, 1 Peter 5:7). Petition shows our dependence on God and our faith in His goodness. (Other forms of prayer include praise, thanksgiving, lament, and intercession.)
Restitution means doing what you can to make things right after causing harm, such as returning what was stolen or repairing damage (Exodus 22:1, Luke 19:8). It flows from genuine repentance and shows a heart that wants to honor God and take responsibility. But the Bible also shows that sometimes full restitution isn’t possible, and in those cases, we trust God's grace to cover what we cannot fix (Psalm 51:16-17, Romans 12:18).
Large Group Teaching Week 5
Large Group Teaching Week 9
10
Appendix A
THRIVE FOR RECOVERY
Here are some additional points to consider when applying what you’re hearing about Thrive to the pathway of recovery.
We are all in recovery. Gospel ministry is directed toward anyone seeking help in overcoming the otherwise enslaving interplay of sin and suffering. Thrive is for anyone pursuing redemption from this sin and suffering.
Another word for this journey of ups and downs on the road of life is sanctification If you were to chart out anyone’s spiritual journey, you might find a chart that looks something like the below example. We are overall moving up and to the right, but we face stumbling blocks, plateaus, and victories along life’s journey. While not smooth, these opportunities can lead us to worship God in our responses.
PROGRESSIVE SANCTIFICATION
Recovery cannot be reduced to a program. God’s redeeming work is not confined to a program. To reduce God’s deliverance to a program is sectarian and borders on cultish. This sort of thinking leads people to fear leaving programs. There are those who are being delivered from the bondage of sin in Christ and those who remain in their sin. So we are either enslaved or in Christ. In Christ, we can go anywhere He calls us! We graduate from programs into faithful service.
Sobriety is a by-product.
Sobriety is not the goal, but a by-product. Reconciliation with God is the goal. Only the gospel can reconcile us to God. As our hearts are reconciled to His, it changes how we relate to everything.
Heaven! [Finally fully sanctified]
My Holiness
My Lifetime
Read Romans 6!
REDEEMED TRUTHS FROM THE TRADITIONAL 12 STEPS RECOVERY PROGRAM
STEP 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.
REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 1: Man, in relationship to his Creator, has fallen from a place of dignity, humility and dependence to a state of depravity, pride and rebellion. This has led to unfathomable suffering. Any attempts on our own to redeem ourselves are futile, only increasing the problem of independence and self-sufficiency. Any perceived success leads only to empty vanity. Apart from Christ, we admitted we are powerless to overcome sin (ours and others) and our attempts to control it only increase our chaos.
STEP 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 2: God lovingly intervened into our chaos and provided a remedy for the insanity of sin and the way back into fellowship with Him. We believe that by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, we can be redeemed.
STEP 3: We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as you understand him.
REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 3: Through the Holy Spirit’s illumination of our desperate and helpless condition before God and the hope that comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ, we step out in faith and repent as an act of worship and obedience, surrendering our will and entrusting our lives to Christ’s care and control. We are reborn spiritually and rescued from the domain of darkness and brought into the kingdom of light, where we now live as a part of Christ’s ever advancing kingdom.
STEP 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 4: As children of God, armed with the Holy Spirit and standing firm in the gospel, we engage in the spiritual battle over the reign and rule of our hearts. God set us apart for holiness, and we look to put to death the areas of our lives that keep us from reflecting Jesus Christ to a dark and dying world. We first examine the fruit in our lives (or moral symptoms). As we move through the assessment process, we will uncover the roots (pride and idolatry) of any ungodly fruit that drive our ungodly thoughts, actions and emotions.
STEP 5: We admitted before God, ourselves and another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.
REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 5: Under the covering of God’s grace, we step out in faith, leaving behind our old, self-protective ways of covering sin and hiding from God. We prayerfully come into the light, confessing our sins before God and to one another so that we may be healed.
STEP 6: We are entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEPS 6 : In attempting to live independent of God, we have developed dysfunctional (sinful) patterns of coping. After careful examination, we have begun to see the demonic roots of our slavery to these sinful patterns. We desire freedom.
STEP 7: We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEPS 7: We renounce our former ways, offer ourselves to God and, under the waterfall of His grace, ask Him to deliver and heal us by the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. We also pray for blessing and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live life according to His kingdom purposes.
STEP 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
STEP 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEPS 8 & 9: Relationships break down because of sin. If there were no sin in the world, relationships would work harmoniously, evidenced by love and unity. Division among God’s people provides opportunities to identify sin and purify the body. The gospel of Jesus Christ brings about justice in a way that the law cannot by inwardly reconciling the very heart of injustice to God. As those forgiven by God, we can humbly approach those affected by our sin and make amends. This change of heart brings glory to God by demonstrating the power of the gospel and reflecting His heart in bringing justice through His reconciled people.
ADDITIONAL TRUTH FROM STEPS 8 & 9: As ambassadors of Christ, we are to be instruments of grace when we confront those who sin against us. We hand offenses over to God and extend eager forgiveness to those who ask for it. In this way fellowship, with God and amongst His people, is preserved.
STEP 10: We continued to take personal assessment and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 10 : We continue in the fear of the Lord, putting to death those things that rob our affections for Christ while persevering in loving, joyful obedience to Him. When we are out of step with the Spirit, we quickly return to the Lord with a heart of repentance as He trains us in godliness and grows us spiritually.
STEP 11 : We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for the knowledge of His will and the power to carry that out.
REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEP 11: Since He is our ultimate joy, peace and pleasure, we seek to know Him and fill ourselves with those things that stir our affections for Him. We practice spiritual disciplines so that our hearts, prone to wander, might stay in rhythm with His.
STEP 12: Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
REDEEMED TRUTH FROM STEPS 12: Before the foundations of the earth, God chose us, the church, to live as instruments of His grace to a lost and dying world, bearing witness to His wisdom and power through the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is our joy-filled worship to make much of His name. Empowered by the Holy Spirit, we bring a comprehensive gospel demonstrated by our deeds and proclaimed by our words with the goal of glorifying God through making disciples for Jesus Christ. In this way, we embody Christ, being His hands and feet here on earth.
Appendix B
CONCEPT OF GOD WORKSHEET
INSTRUCTIONS:
• Read the following statements and write down your initial thoughts.
• We are looking for true feelings about God, not theologically correct answers.
• Your first thought is probably your most honest response.
PROMPTS:
1. When I think about God, I feel
2. Sometimes I wish God would
3. What frustrates me most about God is
4. Sometimes I get angry with God when
5. The one thing I would change in my relationship with God is
6. The one thing I would change about myself to please God is
7. The secret thought about God that I struggle with is
8. The one question about God that I would like to have answered is
9. One person who reminds me of God is
10. The one thing I have the most trouble trusting God with is
Appendix C INSANITY CYCLE
SEEING THE INSANITY FOR WHAT IT IS
SPIRITUAL ILLNESS – A disease (dis-ease) or disorder. I am irritable, restless and discontent. I need to change the way I feel. I’m edgy. Something’s off. I need something. I’m fearful, discouraged, walking in the flesh, grumbling, complaining, offended, etc. What is yours? Irritability, restlessness, discontentment, anxiety, sadness, grief, no peace?
DESIRE FOR RELIEF – With a bent towards solving my own problems (heart of self-reliance), I run to creation for ease and comfort instead of the Creator. As the famous hymn “Come Thou Fount” says, my heart is “prone to wander,” to be led away toward sin. I don’t want to feel this way. (Who likes feeling this way?) Where are you seeking relief apart from the Lord? These may include “respectable” things such as exercise, rest, food, etc.)
TEMPTATION – I compare, seeing others enjoying themselves or able to do the things I can’t do. I think [this] will take the edge off – things will be better when I _________ . The “forbidden fruit” (Genesis 2:17) is alluring and shiny. I am convinced this is the remedy (I’m seeking a dopamine rush.) What is tempting you?
THINK / OBSESS – Planning, plotting toward the desired relief that is to come. I might start obsessing about a fix for my restlessness and discontentedness. What are some indicators you are dwelling or obsessing?
ACTION – Making or cancelling plans. Making mental excuses to be alone with my sin. This could include getting in the car, going to the store or opening the internet browser, making a purchase, etc. I am sinfully finding relief in creation apart from the Creator. AA would call this “the first drink.” What do you do to get the relief you’re after?
SPREE – An all-out effort and indulgence – temporarily forgetting everything else. It’s the next high, hit, purchase, game, risk, etc. It’s short-lived, even though it may sound like it will last a long time. What does it look like when you indulge fully in your sin? What does “all the way” look like for you in this area? (Where does it take you? Where do you end up?)
INJURIES (PAIN) – Consequences for me and others (i.e. emotional health, loss of self-control, self-esteem; personal relationships, family; physical health, bodily harm, treatment center intervention; legal, jail time, permanent record impact; financial; professional, loss of job or independence in transportation, etc.) Ultimately, unrepentant, unconfessed sin blocks me from a relationship with my Savior (spiritual death), robbing us of the life that God intended. What type of consequences result? (For me and others.)
REMORSE – This often show up as feelings of guilt, shame and humiliation. We are either stuck in worldly sorrow or turn toward godly repentance. In what ways do you experience sorrow? Do you want God or your comfort back?
RESOLUTIONS – Making promises and deals. Saying “I will never do this again.” Making vows to God, self and others. These are made in your own strength, not the Lord’s. What promises are you making about what you will do (or not do) next time?
INTERRUPTING THE INSANITY
1. What lies am I believing?
2. Where can I find the truth?
3. How does Satan bait my hook when I am restless, irritable or discontent?
4. When I am not turning to God, where do I turn to cope with life?
5. It’s logical to start at 12 o’clock (i.e. “Spiritual Illness”), but God can enter into your cycle of sinful insanity at any place. Go back through your other answers in the first part and imagine “what if” you called out to God for help at each spot. What would that look like? For example, if you recognize that you are desiring relief, then start there. Try to articulate what is going in regard to your spiritual illness.
6. With each phase, consider what it would look like to turn to God (repentance). Do passages from Scripture apply? (For example: Romans 8:6, 2 Corinthians 10:5, and Philippians 4:8-9 would all be helpful for “Think/Obsess.”)
Appendix D
THE ATTRIBUTES OF GOD
ATTENTIVE
God hears and responds to the needs of His Children.
COMPASSIONATE
God cares for His children and acts on their behalf.
CREATOR
God made everything. He is uncreated.
DELIVERER
God rescues and saves His children.
ETERNAL
God is not limited by time; He exists outside of time.
FAITHFUL
God always keeps His promises.
GENEROUS
God gives what is best and beyond what is deserved.
GLORIOUS
God displays His greatness and worth.
GOOD
God is what is best and gives what is best. He is incapable of doing harm.
HOLY
God is perfect, pure and without sin.
IMMUTABLE/UNCHANGING
God never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.
INCOMPREHENSIBLE
God is beyond our understanding. We can comprehend Him in part but not in whole.
INFINITE
God has no limits in His person or on His power.
JEALOUS
God will not share His glory with another. All glory rightfully belongs to Him.
JUST
God is fair in all His actions and judgments. He cannot over-punish or under-punish.
LOVING
God feels and displays infinite, unconditional affection toward His children. His love for them does not depend on their worth, response or merit.
MERCIFUL
God does not give His children the punishment they deserve.
OMNIPOTENT/ALMIGHTY
God holds all power. Nothing is too hard for God. What He wills He can accomplish.
OMNIPRESENT
God is fully present everywhere.
OMNISCIENT
God knows everything, past, present and future–all potential and real outcomes, all things micro and macro.
PATIENT/LONG-SUFFERING
God is untiring and bears with His children.
PROVIDER
God meets the needs of His children.
REFUGE
God is a place of safety and protection for His children.
RIGHTEOUS
God is always good and right.
SELF-EXISTENT
God depends on nothing and no one to give Him life or existence.
SELF-SUFFICIENT
God is not vulnerable. He has no needs.
SOVEREIGN
God does everything according to His plan and pleasure. He controls all things.
TRANSCENDENT
God is not like humans. He is infinitely higher in being and action.
TRUTHFUL
Whatever God speaks or does is truth and reality.
WORTHY
God deserves all glory and honor and praise.
WRATHFUL
God hates all unrighteousness.
WISE
God knows what is best and acts accordingly. He cannot choose wrongly.
Appendix E
OUR
IDENTITY
Identity in Christ
Matthew 5:13
I am the salt of the earth.
Matthew 5:14 I am the light of the world.
John 1:12 ........................................ I am a child of God.
John 15 .......................................... I am part of the true vine, a branch of Christ’s life.
John 15:15 ..................................... I am a friend of God.
John 15:16 ..................................... I am chosen and appointed to bear fruit.
Romans 6:5 I am resurrected to new life.
Romans 6:18 I am a slave to righteousness.
Romans 6:22 .............................. I am enslaved to God.
Romans 8:14 ............................... I am a son of God.
Romans 8:17 ............................... I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing his inheritance.
1 Corinthians 6:19 ..................... I am the dwelling place of God.
1 Corinthians 6:19 I am united to the Lord.
1 Corinthians 12:27 I am a member of Christ’s body.
1 Corinthians 15:10 ................... I am what I am, by God’s grace.
2 Corinthians 5:17 ..................... I am a new creation.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19 .............. I am reconciled to God.
Galatians 3:29 ........................... I am the seed of Abraham.
Galatians 4:6-7 I am an heir of God since I am a son of God.
Ephesians 1:1 I am a saint.
Ephesians 1:3 ............................. I am blessed with every spiritual blessing.
Ephesians 2:10........................... I am God’s workmanship, made to do good works.
Ephesians 2:11 ............................ I am a fellow citizen of God’s family.
Ephesians 4:1 ............................. I am a prisoner of Christ.
Ephesians 4:24 I am righteous and holy.
Philippians 3:20 I am a citizen of heaven.
Colossians 3:3 ............................ I am hidden with Christ in God.
Colossians 3:4 ............................ I am an expression of the life of Christ.
Colossians 3:12 .......................... I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved.
1 Thessalonians 5:5 ................. I am a child of light and not darkness.
Titus 3:7 I am an heir to eternal life.
Hebrews 3:1 I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling.
1 Peter 2:5 .................................... I am a living stone in God’s spiritual house.
1 Peter 2:9 .................................... I am a member of a chosen race, a holy nation.
1 Peter 2:9-10 .............................. I am a priest.
1 Peter 2:11 .................................... I am an alien and a stranger to the world.
1 Peter 5:8 I am an enemy of the Devil.
2 Peter 1:3 I am participating in the divine nature.
1 John 5:18 .................................... I am born of God, and the Devil cannot touch me.
Identity Apart from Christ
Genesis 6:5 .................................. I am wicked and evil.
Isaiah 59:2 I am separated from God.
Isaiah 64:6 .................................. I am filthy and stained.
John 8:34 I am a slave to sin.
Romans 1:18 ................................ I am under the wrath of God.
Romans 3:10 I am not good.
Romans 3:23 .............................. I am falling short of the glory of God.
Romans 6:23 I am guilty and condemned.
2 Corinthians 4:4 ..................... I am blind to the truth.
2 Corinthians 11:3 I am deceived.
Ephesians 2:1 ............................. I am dead in my sins.
Ephesians 2:2 ............................ I am in bondage to Satan.
Ephesians 4:18 .......................... I am hard-hearted.
James 2:10 ................................... I am a lawbreaker.
James 4:4 .................................... I am an enemy of God.
Appendix F
GOD’S PROMISES TO A BELIEVER
Matthew 6:25-30 ..................... God will provide for your needs.
Matthew 11:28-30 .................... Rest in Christ.
Matthew 21:22 Ask in His name, and you will receive.
Matthew 24:9-14 ...................... Persecution is coming.
Matthew 26:29 He is waiting to eat with you.
Matthew 28:20 ......................... He is with us always, to the end of age.
Mark 16:16 Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved.
Luke 12:27-34 .............................. He knows what you need; seek His kingdom, and what you need will be provided.
John 14:1-4 ................................... Jesus is preparing a place for you.
John 14:13-14
Ask in Jesus’ name, and He will do it so that the ........................................................... Father can be glorified in the Son.
John 14:27 .................................... He gives us His peace.
John 15:7-8 ................................... If you remain in Him, ask whatever you want.
John 15:5 ....................................... If you remain in Christ, you will produce fruit.
John 16:13-15 The Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth.
John 16:23-24 ............................. Ask the Father in Jesus’ name, and it will be given so that your joy may be full.
Acts 1:8 .......................................... You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes.
Acts 2:38-39 The promise is for you, the believer.
Romans 6:14 ............................... Sin will not rule over you.
Romans 8:27 The Holy Spirit intercedes for the saints according to ........................................................... the will of God.
Romans 8:34 Jesus is at the right hand of the Father interceding ........................................................... for you.
Romans 8:39 Nothing will have the power to separate you from ........................................................... the love of God in Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 1:8 ....................... He will strengthen you till the end.
1 Corinthians 2:13 ..................... The Holy Spirit will teach you.
1 Corinthians 2:16 ..................... You have been given the mind of Christ.
1 Corinthians 10:13 God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what ........................................................... you are able (in His Spirit), and He will provide a way out.
1 Corinthians 15:52-57 ............ You will be raised into an incorruptible immortal body at the resurrection of the dead.
2 Corinthians 3:18 .................... You are being transformed into the image of Christ. Philippians 1:6 He who started a good work in you will complete it.
Philippians 3:21 ......................... He will transform the body of our humble condition into the likeness of His glorious body.
Philippians 4:7 .......................... The peace of God will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ.
1 Thessalonians 5:24 .............. God is faithful; he will renew you, body, soul and spirit.
2 Thessalonians 3:3 The Lord is faithful and will strengthen and guard you
........................................................... from the Evil One.
Titus 3: 6-7 ................................... He has abundantly poured out His Spirit on us
........................................................... through Jesus, and we are heirs to the hope of
........................................................... eternal life.
Hebrews 7:25 ............................. He is able to save all who come to Him, and He
........................................................... always intercedes for them.
Hebrews 8:8-12 God will never again remember your sins.
Hebrews 10:16-17 ...................... In the new covenant God will never again remember your sins or your lawless acts.
Hebrews 13:5 .............................. God will never leave or forsake you.
1 Peter 1:3-5 Inheritance is imperishable, undefiled, uncorrupted, ........................................................... unfading, kept in heaven for you.
1 Peter 2:10 You are now a part of God’s people.
Revelation 21:1-7 ....................... God will dwell with us and wipe away every tear, and death will no longer exist.
Appendix G
WRITING YOUR OWN LAMENT
INTRODUCTION & INSTRUCTIONS
Psalms of lament are expressions of the trials, suffering, and emotions of life. They are examples on how to communicate with God during times of hurt. It is important to note, however, that the Psalms of Lament usually lead to praise in the end and also contain a confession of trust.1
This worksheet is an exercise for you to begin to write your own personal psalm of lament to cry out to God in your situation.
You may prefer to get out a journal, a clean sheet of paper, or a blank computer screen and begin to follow the following format, pouring your heart before the Lord. Consider meditating on these other Psalms of lament and use them as a source of encouragement and as an example on how you might write your psalm or pray: Psalms 3, 5, 6, 7, 13, 32, 38, 44, 51, 60, 74, 79, 80, 83, 85, 90, 102, 123, 130,137, 143.
After you complete this exercise, you may be surprised at the ways that your spiritual life will change, including your prayers and views on suffering. When we go beyond feeling sorry for ourselves, to actually bringing lament before God, confessing our trust in Him, asking Him for help and ultimately praising God for who He is no matter what situation we are in, we become changed because our focus is on something bigger than ourselves. We begin to become acquainted with a Savior that is intimately involved in the suffering and joys of our lives and who is continually delivering us from the power and effects of sin, making us more like Him. This is the Good News, the Gospel.
It is also important to note the distinction between expressing anger to God and being angry at/with God. It is acceptable to bring our doubts and questions to God as seen in the Psalms, but when we become angry at God and accuse Him of being wrong, unloving, out of control, absent, or having less wisdom than us, then we have crossed the line. (See Proverbs 19:3)
• Remember and be reassured that we are writing from a standpoint before God that is brutally honest yet fully trusting.
• Try to tap into your creative, right brain and explore how to write in the style of a Psalm – like a poem, art piece or song – rather than journaling or writing in paragraphs.
• If it helps, try to think of metaphors, word pictures and similes to describe your pain or situation. These can be great avenues of expression when describing painful things in lament.
1 Ronald B. Allen, And I Will Praise Him. (Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel, 1992), 34.
TEMPLATE FOR A FOUR-PART LAMENT
1. Cry out to God
2. Complaint
3. Petition or Request
4. Truth and Thanksgiving
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO LAMENT?
Use this space to reflect on what aspect of life you are grieving that you may want to bring before God. As you reflect, what image or metaphor comes to mind that could help describe your situation?
LAMENT METAPHORS TO CONSIDER:
Drowning
Unrelenting rain or endless fog
Snow that never melts
Shattered glass
Carrying a heavy burden
Unending night/darkness
An empty room or emptiness
Crashing waves
Sinking sand
A broken record
Driving with no destination
Walking on eggshells
CRY OUT TO GOD
How will you address God? How do you believe your relationship with God will initiate change in your life?
Psalm 28:
To you, O Lord, I call; My rock, be not deaf to me.
Psalm 13:
How long, O Lord?
Psalm 94:
O Lord, God of vengeance, O God of vengeance, shine forth!
COMPLAINT
What is your complaint? What anger, pain, heartacheor sadness do you have that may need to be discussed with God?
Psalm 22:
Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest.
Psalm 6:
I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes.
PETITION OR REQUEST
What is your petition or deepest desire? What do you want for your life situation right now?
Psalm 6:
Return, O Lord, and rescue me. Save me because of your unfailing love.
Psalm 13:
Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
Psalm 102:
Bend down to listen, and answer me quickly when I call to you.
TRUTH AND THANKSGIVING
What attribute of God can you thank Him for in this moment? What thing/person/event (no matter how small) can you be grateful for?
Psalm 94:
But the Lord is my fortress; my God is the mighty rock where I hide.
Psalm 3:
Victory comes from you, O Lord. May you bless your people.
Psalm 60:
With God’s help we will do mighty things, for God will trample down our foes.
YOUR PSALM OF LAMENT
Let’s now attempt to put the pieces you processed previously into a psalm of lament. Take words or phrases from each of the four sections and re-phrase or format them together to form one work.
