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Chocolate Teacher Weekly

Meat me in St. Louis

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In this issue‌ Simon Stinkysocks on Food Chains The Secret Files of Dr. Mortimer Mindbender Chocolate Teacher on Photo Essays

February 9, 2009 Issue 2


Get Me Outta Here!!!! A Chuckwalla attempts to escape an exhibit at the Springs Preserve in Las Vegas, Nevada.

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Runnin’ Rebels While awaiting the opening of the Ori-Gen Building at the Springs Preserve, Students enjoy themselves by playing on the grass. 3


Letters to the Editors Dear CTW staff, I was recently watching television and I saw a program that said turkeys are descendants of the velociraptor. Is this true? I’d love to have something to be proud about for once. Thanksgiving only comes once a year and it usually signals a death in the family. Sincerely, A. Gobbler Dear Mr. Gobbler, According to scientists, what that show claims is true. Raptors were actually dinosaurs that had feathers which I find amazing. Anyhow, don’t get any ideas about turkeys everywhere starting the revolution either. One of the delicacies that I enjoy is turkey and you guys don’t come equipped with the slashing claws and sharp teeth any more. Finger lickin’, Julia 13B

Helo CTW staf, i’m realy woried abbout my wreyeting grade. Skool iz so hard!! i get board being their and all i can think about is watching tv or talking to my friendz. As u can c, i hate redding, but i luv 2 text. if i could write using my sellphone then may b i could pass all my classes. what is ur advice? OMG, S. Truant

Dear Truant, You seriously need to consider using a pencil and a dictionary more often. Texting is cool, but not if you don’t learn how to actually spell and write correctly!! Look at me here! I’m a stinkin’ cat, but I’m correcting your English. Don’t you think that’s a problem? OMG keep your LOLs to yourself until you learn how to write! Octavia

Want to write to the Editors? Too bad... 4


The Cat’s Cradle: Comments from the Editors Dear Readers, Let me remind you that though we are in charge of this magazine, we are not totally responsible for its content. The CT is insane. I don’t mean this as a joke. HE IS CRAZY! Keep this in mind as you turn the pages and read what is contained. This week, our MAG is about food. Not just food, but the role that eating food has in the survival of everything. Yes, eating food. AN ENTIRE ISSUE ABOUT EATING FOOD!! Of all the things to write about, he chooses food. You see how stupid this is!?!? Who decides that an entire magazine is about food and then puts cats in charge of making sure that everything goes right? You definitely have to question the intelligence of a guy like this, but I’m not complaining because this job pays the bills. I’m not eating meals out of trash cans like some other cats I know. I’ve seen commercials on TV about street cats. Don’t get me wrong, I like my three hots and a cot. Yes! I hear the keys in the door! He’s back. We sent him out on a catnip run. I thought it would keep him out longer, though. Late night editing is not without its perks. Enjoy the MAG!!! Octavia Lang Editor-in-Chief 5


Table of Contents Page 7 Awkward Animal Kingdom By Simon Stinkysocks Page 10 Mookie and Pookie

Page 12 Jokes

Page 13 The secret files of Dr. Mortimer mindbender Page 14 Tech time with chocolate teacher: Photo essays Page 18 Cool Stuff on television Page 19 Playing with your food

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Awkward Animal Kingdom By Simon Stinkysocks

“Sir, I’m not coming to work today. I’ve got a bad case of the Carnivores. Recently, I was hungry and wandered into a local dining establishment. After I perused the menu, I decided on a hamburger, an order of French fries, and a glass of lemonade. As I savored the hamburger’s beefy goodness, my mind began to wonder about something I had learned as a child...food chains. I was eating a cow now, but what did the cow eat? What was the reason I needed to eat anyway?!?! Well, I set out to investigate food chains. Basically, a food chain is the way energy is transferred from one organism to another. Energy is important for every living thing on our planet. It is the reason you can walk, run, or talk. No energy, no activity. The only problem is...where does all this energy come from? Well, all energy comes from the sun. The heat you feel? That’s energy! But your body can’t turn that heat into energy that it can use. You can’t lay outside and suddenly be powered up. We need something to put this energy into a form we can use and so the food chain comes into play. The only organisms (living things) that can turn the sun’s rays into energy are called producers. They make up what is called the first trophic level. Producers can create their own food using the sun’s light. Ever noticed that plants follow the sun’s path across the sky by bending their stems? It’s because they’re producers. They need the light. They turn light into food in a process called photosynthesis. Green plants have a chemical called chlorophyll that allows them to convert sunlight into food. Trees also fit in this category. Algae are producers that live in the sea. So our food chain begins with producers, but how does their energy get to all the other organisms? Herbivores compose the second trophic level and they help the energy continue its progression. Herbivores eat only plants. They are the first of what we call consumers. Consumers cannot make their own food. Can you think of any animals that eat only plants? Cows, horses, and chickens would be examples.

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Cows are examples of herbivores, animals that eat only plants . Image taken from http://notdoubledutch.wordpress.com/2008/10/23/ economic-models-explained-with-cows/

Carnivores also make up the fourth trophic level. Here’s where you find the big animals that most people love to watch. Apex predators are the very top of a food chain. Apex means top. Some examples of apex predators would be tigers, lions, and great white sharks. These animals are not fed on by any other animals. The chain isn’t over yet though. It’s like a circle. Apex predators don’t eat all of the meat from what they kill. Ever eaten dinner and been unable to eat all the food on your plate? You know the little brother, sister, or cousin that you eats the stuff that’s left off of your plate? That’s what we call scavenging. Food in nature is too hard to come by for there to be meat just lying around uneaten. Scavengers, like vultures, are kind of like the janitors of the natural world. They make sure nothing goes to waste. Finally, everything that dies eventually turns back to dust so that its material can be used for plants. Do you think this happens by magic? I used to when I was a kid. It actually happens due to organisms called decomposers. Decomposers turn dead things into simpler forms of matter. Organisms like fungi and bacteria are active here. Once the decomposers do their job, the sun does its job again and the entire process happens restarts. What do you think would happen if any of the pieces of the food chain were to disappear?

Oh, I almost forgot. Omnivores can be first level consumers as well. Omnivores can get energy by eating either plants or animals. Think about when your mom, dad, or some other family member tells you to eat your brussel sprouts or broccoli before getting up from the dinner table. They’re telling you to be a first level consumer! Well, remember that succulent burger that I was enjoying? First level consumers, herbivores, give up their energy by being eaten by members of the third trophic level, carnivores. Carnivores eat only meat. These second level consumers are not the really big animals. They are usually rather small. You should think about a mice, who often eat insects. Mice would be an example of a second level consumer.

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Darwin Farms

Carnivorous Brand Sports Drinks

Carnivorous Brand Sports Drinks are made with 100% meat. Let the herbivores eat veggies! The choicest cuts of gazelle, antelope, elephant, and wildebeest meat are mixed, boiled and seasoned in the Darwin Farms kitchen according to the age old secret recipe. The mixture is then cooled and bottled to quench your meaty thirst. After a long day on the hunt, stop by your local grocery store and pick up a little.

A Meaty Drink for Meaty People 9


Mookie and Pookie Mookie: What did you eat for breakfast this morning? Pookie: Why do you want to know that for? Did you put pencil shavings in my cornflakes again? Mookie: Nah, I was planning on doing that next week. I was thinking about food chains and how we are part of a food chain. Pookie: Oh, I know about food chains. It’s like sausage links. You know how you can buy them all chained together, right? That’s a food chain. Oh, how I love kielbasas. Mookie: You need to pay attention in class. A food chain begins with the sun and is how energy is passed from one organism to another. Pookie: Passed? Like passed gas? The food chain is about farting? No wonder I never pay attention to this stuff! That’s disgusting! Mookie: Ugh, Pookie, you’re impossible.

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Jokes...Jokes...Jokes Why do Gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers! What do you call a Blind Dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesawus What do you call a blind dinosaur’s dog? Doyouthinkhesawus Rex What do you call a naked Grizzly? A bare How do you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree? By its bark

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From the Secret Files of ...

Dr. Mortimer Mindbender ...found washed up on the shore of a nearby river. I have yet to do an autopsy, but from my preliminary analysis of the body, I can report certain findings. The first animal has four very long canine teeth, two on the mandible and two on the maxilla. These teeth are very sharp. I wonder what they are used for? It’s body is rather large, about 600lbs,is covered with thick hair and has leaves caught in it. The hair is a dark brown and there is an odd smell emanating from it. I presume the smell is due to the time the cadaver spent in the water. The second carcass is considerably smaller than the first and was found on a beach not too far away. There are slits on the side of its face. It is the possessor of rather large eyes as well. It too has sharp teeth, but those on the mandible protrude from the mouth. There is also some organ that begins on its forehead and hangs out in front of its face. There seems to be a bulb (for lack of a better term) hanging from this thing. Whoa, I wonder what it’s function is? I’m heading out for lunch now, but upon my return I will attempt to identify these animals. Now on to the break room to eat my peanut butter and jelly sandwich and drink my juice box.

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Tech Time with the… Chocolate Teacher!!! Hello, Ladies and Germs! I just got back in front break dancing, but I’m here with another installment of “Tech Time.” Today’s topic: Photo Story 3. This program is really cool and really easy to use as well. You end up with something that is kinda like a movie. You are going to use this program in order to create a photo essay on your experiences at the Springs Preserve. First, head to the “Start” menu, and find “Photo Story 3.” When opened, it should look like the image on the left. You should see that there are three options to choose:  Begin a new story  Edit a project  Play a story You will choose the preset option “Begin a new story” and then press “Next” at the bottom of the window.

Once you press “Next,” you’ll see a screen where you can import pictures. Press the “Import Pictures,” button. This will allow you to place pictures in your project and arrange them in whatever manner you wish. You need to place the CD with all your pictures in the computer’s CD drive if you haven’t done so all ready. That’s where you’ll be getting your picture from.

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To import your pictures, go to “My Computer” and double click on the DVD/CD drive. Your pictures should open and we should be ready to rock and roll. An easy way to import a bunch of pictures at once is to depress the control key (Ctrl) found on the bottom left corner of the keyboard and then left click each of the desired pictures. Don’t worry about what order you place them in! We’ll reorder them once they’re imported.

Now that the pictures have been imported, they can be edited so they look better. The only button I will ask you to use is the first one (from left to right) beneath where you have the preview of the picture. This button, which has the bars of color on it, will color correct your pictures in order to optimize them. The other buttons you can play with to see their functions. This is your project after all, so you may do to the pictures as you wish, as long as you don’t change what the pictures look like. Once you finish editing your pictures, click ‘Next’ at the bottom of the window. WE ARE NOT GOING TO USE THIS SCREEN, SO CLICK ‘NEXT’ AGAIN...but if we were…. There is a box on the right of window. Write text that will correspond to each picture in the box. This will serve as your narration. Play with the effects at the top of the box that you’re going to type in. They will change what your text looks like, what side the text begins on, and the position the text will appear on the pictures. In order to write something for each picture, you have to click on the bottom and change the pictures. 15


On this screen, you need to make sure you have reordered your pictures. To reorder them all you need to do is left click the picture at the bottom of the screen and drag it to the position you want it in. Once this is done, press the customize motion tab for each picture. This will control how each of the pictures comes in during your presentation. You can make them do whatever you want. REMEMBER, THIS IS YOUR PRESENTATION. Preview your work to see if it meets your standards and then press the ‘Next’ button at the bottom. Here where you’re going lay down some tunes for your presentation. It’s gonna be SWEEEEEET! You can either select music from a designated folder, or you can make your own tunes. To select music, click ‘Select Music.’ For some Guitar Hero type stuff, click ‘Create Music.’ Once you’re finished click preview to see if you like. If not, click ‘Delete Music’ and start again. Once you’re satisfied, click ‘Next.’

You are finish, but YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOUR WORK. Click the ‘Browse’ button and find your folder and save the file there. Name the file and click the save button. Now click the ‘Next’ key and you have a finished photo essay. Who said creation was hard?

Photo Story 3 is a program that you can use for a bunch of things. Wouldn’t it be cool if you used the photos from your summer vacation to make a photo essay? What about doing a book report this way? What other uses could you come up with to use Photo Story 3? Remember, BORING IS BAD and kids are too cool to be boring.

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It all started when the sun came up… The plants grew… The cows came… Then they heard the howls…

THE FOOD CHAIN GANG You’ll never look at dinner the same way again

Chocolate Teacher Films Presents “THE FOOD CHAIN GANG” STARRING THE SUN AND PRODUCERS CO-STARRING HERBIVORES OMNIVORES CARNIVORES PRODUCED BY SCAVENGERS CO-PRODUCED BY THE DECOMPOSERS MUSIC ARRANGED BY NATURE SOUNDS

THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED

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Cool things on TV February 9– 13 Monday, February 9th: “How It’s Made” at 7:00 and 7:30pm on the Discovery Channel “Titanic: How it really sunk” at 8:00pm on the National Geographic Channel “Modern Marvels: Axes, Swords, and Knives” at 7:00pm on The History Channel

Tuesday, February 10th “Dirty Jobs: Diaper Cleaner” at 8:00pm on the Discovery Channel “Explorer: Monster Fish of the Congo” at 7:00pm on the National Geographic Channel “Earth: The Biography– Rare Earth” at 8:00pm on the National Geographic Channel “The Biggest Things in Space” at 6:00pm on The History Channel “Modern Marvels: Night” at 7:00pm on The History Channel

Wednesday, February 11th “Modern Marvels: Salt” at 7:00pm on The History Channel “MonsterQuest : Giant Bear Attack” at 8:00pm on The History Channel

Thursday, February 12th “How Stuff Works—Rubber” at 8:00pm on the Discovery Channel “Morphed: When whales had legs” at 6:00pm on the National Geographic Channel “Morphed: Before they were bears” at 7:00pm on the National Geographic Channel “Modern Marvels: Civil War Tech” at 7:00pm on The History Channel “Modern Marvels: Candy” at 8:00pm on The History Channel

Friday, February 13th “Dirty Jobs: Mud Mineral Excavator” at 8:00pm on the Discovery Channel “Darwin’s Notebooks” at 7:00pm on the National Geographic Channel “The Wrath of God: Snowbound: The Curse of the Sierra” at 6:00pm on the History Channel

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Playing with your food… Food Chain Games 

The Food Chain Gamewww.sheppardsoftware.com/ content/animals/kidscorner/ games/foodchaingame.htm

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RangeR Rick’s gameswww.nwf.org/kidzone/ kzpage.cfm? siteID=3&departmentID=77

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Build a Food Chainwww.ecokids.ca/pub/eco_info/ topics/frogs/chain_reaction/ index.cfm

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Chocolate Teacher Weekly Issue 2