The Heart Of A King: A Man with Many Characteristics
James Dixon
The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds, expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive self-projection to author new life narratives.
Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities.
While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books.
This project is being supported, in whole or in part, by federal award number ALN 21.027 awarded to Cook County by the U.S. Department of the Treasury.
The Heart Of A King:
A Man with Many Characteristics
James Dixon
It’s a disease that’s hard to cure, you can find out about it, when it’s several surgeries, sleepless days and nights Colon cancer! The big C.
The phone gets heavier as I held it in my hand. My breathing changes, heart ache, I zone out, Everything around me spins.
Mother’s crying. I can’t stop the tears falling from upon my face but I hear your voice man-man show No Weakness! I’m cool, this a fight between me and God.
My father looks weak, exhausted. I stood stunned, hurtful, why? Staring at a man made of steel.
My hero, my best friend, an outstanding father, great provider, the man taught me right from wrong.
Some families don’t grow up with both parents. It’s a blessing, I was dealt the cards I was dealt. With a father figure that protected, and taught me responsibility. I always paid close attention to my father. He never judged others. Taught me to always have an open mind.
I was getting in trouble a lot. The environment I grew up around was tough. You had to show no weakness, stay to yourself.
All day you hear police sirens, people crying, mothers and fathers up early trying to make a dollar.
Hearing my hero so down but trying to stay up felt like my head was spinning a thousand miles per hour.I was feeling overwhelmed so much rage inside, lost to the world, I wanted to punch a hole in the wall.
I drank my pain away, stared out my back room window looking at the sky hoping God would give me a reason, a sign. Why!!! I wanted to be isolated, removed from society for a moment. I thought you was immortal. One of a kind! Pops! We had more to do. Fishing trips, laugh about funny moments, sit in the garage watching the game lol!
My mother called me, said “We saying good byes to Jay. I cried, broke down. I didn’t want to let go. I continued to say “I love you pops, thanks for everything. The advice, the uplifts. As the phone held to your ear mom said you began to cry. I knew you heard me. Beep!!!
Back when I was growing up you taught me principles and prosperity of life. You told me no one has your back like your parents.
I was facing natural life. No friend or associate was like you and mom pop. I was bugin up trying to rush to go to trial. You came in, saw me, looked into my eyes and said “Listen here man-man this aint no joke. You'd rather sit here 3 and a half years or 45 years.
You pick son. I always gave it to you in an understanding manner ” . I went back to my room and from that day forward I was patient. Your words of wisdom had an effect that's hard to describe.
Seeing people lose they life to the system taught me a lot… Good individuals I grew close to put me into the law library. Look into your case, it helps.
Trial starts. Sitting in the courtroom waiting for the verdict. I remember looking back at you, hearing you say “You going home son ” . “All rise for the jury. Bailiff pass the paper. We find the defendant James Dixon not guilty!!”
As the bottle continued to go down by the second. Reminiscing about the knowledge you laid upon me when I was at my lowest. Laying on my bunk, seeing others lose their life to the system. You promised me you would put everything into getting me back home. You said no amount of money mattered. Your words made me ambitious.
Your past never got in the way of your future. Seeing you drive 18 wheelers taking me on the road with you, telling me, advising me to get my CDL… I was like pops, you trust these big trucks? Hearing you laugh saying “ man-man it aint the truck it’s who driving the truck…”
Looking back I was being molded, taught a trade that could get me tremendous income. Left with a legacy, a company you created. I want to continue to grow.
Sometimes people are brought into your life for a reason not for a season.. My pops was an amazing man with a lot of characteristics that changed me from a boy to a man.
Spend as much time with the ones you love because you never know when they can be gone because my hero is no longer here. There is a lot more I felt we had not finished sorting out.
Sitting in my cell, staring at the ceiling facing 45-life, I was out of reach with myself. My father’s words, “Man-man keep your head up. ”
I wanted to break down and drop a tear. I just couldn't. I knew you would not approve. C.O came to my door “Dixon, visit….”
The strong words “ man-man you rather sit 3 years or 45 years, rest of your life in jail? Let your lawyer do his job.” Pop you was always my hero.
I wanted to show you I was strong also. These people won't break me.
I Am From
I am from the Austin Area
From Central and Lake
I am from Capital Hill
Jamie Dixon
I am from Fire Hydrants on in the summer
And 100 degree weather
I’m from Conetha and James
From be in before the street lights come on
And from right is right wrong is wrong
And from show no weakness
I’m from always have a listening ear
I’m from the Raq
From dressing, greens and cornbread
Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb
