Only the Strong Survive
by Raheen Thompson
The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds, expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive self-projection to author new life narratives.
Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities.
While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books.
This project is being supported, in whole or in part, by federal award number ALN 21.027 awarded to Cook County by the U.S. Department of the Treasury.
Only
the Strong Survive
Raheen Thompson
Sirens, blue and white lights struck my vision. I saw my cousin lying facedown with a white sheet. He had the heart of an angel, but this time there was no beat.
The screams erupted in my ears while the tears streamed down my face, praying to God, searching for answers.
I knew I wanted to leave this place. Growing up in Englewood on the southside of Chicago no matter how hard you try to stay outta trouble, somehow it always finds you.
I had a one parent household and never had the chance to experience a Father. I had a cousin who was more like an older brother which is the closest thing to a father. I lost the only thing I had as a role model in my childhood growing up.
At that point in my life I felt alone and afraid there was nothing around me except drug dealers and gang violence. As the years passed I started to lose friends, sports was my only go-to.
As I used to walk home from football practice I used to tell myself I couldn't wait to get in the NFL so I could move my family out of the West Englewood area. Police brutality was at an all time high.
One hot summer day, me and a few other teammates were walking home from a long session of practice. We were drenched in sweat, hot and fatigued.
As we approached the next block, a blue and white CPD squad car drove towards us at a high rate of speed. Two officers hopped out pointed guns in our direction and yelled “Don't move or I’ll shoot you in the face”
We did what we was told but the confusion on our faces said it all. We was super frightened like a mouse trapped in a room full of snakes.
We was young but in their eyes we were older than what we looked like. Once the officers found out who we was they didn't even try to apologize. They got back in their squad car and drove away.
In my mind I thought they was here to serve and protect but during that moment I guess age and us being kids didn't matter.
As I started to get into my teenage years, I began losing hope. My friends were killed, some were even arrested, and were being kept in little IDOC.
Death we cannot run from and being arrested was never in my dreams or something I wanted to experience. The life of a Chicago Bears uniform were fading away. I was losing hope and courage/ Also I was missing love because the teammates I called family/brothers, some were dead from street violence, and some were arrested for trying to get back revenge for the teammates we lost.
By the time I was 18 I had different goals. The dream of the NFL died and a new path of my journey started to begin. The main goal was to protect my family and leave the southside of Englewood.
I also wanted to have my own real estate company and develop small businesses, as well as a non-profit organization for kids who've suffered from trauma growing up in Englewood. I was working for the Willis Tower downtown Chicago, but in today's world, it's still known as the Sears Tower, where the pizza is deep and the cheese is cheesy.
I had two kids by the age of 20, one girl and one boy.
The biggest blessings I had besides my life from the moment they were born.
I never wanted them to feel what I felt growing up without a parent and living in a violent corrupt area.
I saved money to pursue my dream but with two kids and one on the way I had to treat life like chess and make my next move my best move.
On May 1st I experienced another blessing and brung a beautiful baby girl in the world. But at this time in my life I was out of work, lost, confused and upset having battles with myself trying to pursue my dreams and face reality with my family I was creating.
I decided to hang with a friend that I’ve known since we were kids. On this day, it was raining and cloudy. The clouds were charcoal grey, and the rain was coming down super heavy. As I began to vent to my fellow friend, my tears was falling down and thanks to the rain, it covered my face.
The battles I was facing was trauma from my past, trying not to enter a revolving door that led my close friends to jail or death.
I was fighting the temptation, it was like an itch that I needed to scratch, but the thought of sitting in jail & looking down in the ground was a turning point I didn't want to face.
As I drive down I-90, known as the Dan Ryan Expressway, I merged into a lane that will take me to Lake Shore Drive.
I was headed north just for a ride to clear my mind on the right side of my view was nice boats and clear, beautiful water, what we call Lake Michigan.
On myleft side was big tall and bright buildings as I rode in silence and looked side to side at the amazing views I had a spirit conversation with God asking to heal my trauma, to give me guidance and most importantly show me the meaning of life.
Raheen Thompson
I Am From
I am from Englewood 60636
From flamin hots with cheese and BBQ smoke in the air
I am from 007 golden eye and old school chevy’s with sounds that vibrate your body
I am from nightmares with love and dreams might be crushed
From the windy city where sometimes the grass don’t get green
I’m from Uncle Budah and Uncle Terry
From pulling up on women saying “hey pretty”
I’m from a hard head make a soft ass
And from never follow and be the leader
I’m from Sunday school United bibleway with Pastor Cody preaching about a man name Jesus I believe in
I’m from Chi-town
From Fat albert gyros with cheese and pink lemonade
From Harold's chicken with extra mild sauce and pineapple crush
And I’m from a family who struggle but a special person in my life named T-baby who never gave up I love you mama
Until
