The day I was arrested, it was a hot day. A week before summer, I was out the night before. I should have stayed home, but waking up, I treated it like any other day, while I was driving around, I felt like somebody was following me. It’s crazy how you can sense and feel something off or wrong. I wanted food, Hooters. It was early, like 12 pm, and they had just started, and the kitchen was backed up with orders; they had a line for an hour. I didn’t want to wait, so I looked on maps for places near me on my phone. I saw Longhorns and had heard of the seasonal lamb chops that went viral with Parmesan crust on top, so I called in my order. On the way, I kept getting a feeling of who was following me, or should I just go home to get my son? I kept driving. His mom called, telling me to come get him. I told her I would. After getting my food, I walked out of the restaurant and walked back in. Forgot my melted butter for my added lobster tail on the side. I left back out and tipped the waiter for being so kind. When I got halfway to the car, all unmarked cars surrounded me, and U.S. Marshals jumped out and said, “Don’t run. ” I didn’t and was arrested. They didn’t tell me why or what. They took me from Longhorns to a paddy wagon, and it was hot all the way to the police station.
I sat in a room for an hour and was told there was a warrant for my arrest, and they wanted to talk to me. I declined, and they left me in the room for hours after that! Then they asked if I was hungry, and then gave me my food. It was cold but good. It was late now. They came back hours later and asked if I wanted to talk one last time. I sat quietly and only said “lawyer.” They left, came back at 3 am, and a paper they handed said “DNA SWAB for First Degree Murder.” When I saw the words on the paper, it was like they were the only ones on the paper, and the words floated in the air. I could see myself like time was frozen and so was I. The room was cold. The detectives talked to me, but all I could do was sit there. I looked at myself from the outside looking in. I had never had this feeling before in my life. All this happened within 72 hours of waiting. All I could think was, “Would I ever go home?”
I was put in another paddy wagon, shipped to the county with 12 others. A man was on the floor in a ball, pants halfway down with no underwear on, reeking of urine. As we arrived to county, we were put into the bullpen, and just as we were inserted, I witnessed the man get robbed and another beat. One was robbed of his coat and shoes. The other was slapped because they told him he was gay and stared at the man. After being denied a bond and told my case was
denied a bond because of the judge's discretion, and nothing could supersede the judge’s power. I was lost for words about the new safety act. I was then put in the last bullpen and processed. We sat there for hours. My day started at 6 am, and now it was 9 am, and I was still waiting to be assigned a living unit. I asked a C/O, and he told me, “You shouldn’t have done whatever they say you did. You will be moved when they are ready for you. ”
I sat for hours thinking about what he said. I was accused, not guilty, but it didn’t matter to him once in jail. All he seen was a guilty man. I would wait till 3 AM to be taken to a cell with an open bunk. Since I have been in jail, I have been treated like I’m guilty without cause. I could tell you how I was told I would die here. Also told that it was my fault. I was here, and that people like me keep a job for him as a C/O, a judge a prosecutor wouldn’t know that by just looking at me. All that is seen is a guilty man with charges in a brown jumpsuit. I’m innocent till proven guilty. This time I have spent in jail is the hardest time of my life, and I have learned that when you go to jail, your family goes with you. Not physically, but mentally and the toll it takes on them to support you. I won’t give up fighting for my freedom because of them. Until then, guilty until proven innocent.
Dear System,
To most law enforcement, what you do is just a job, and to others, it’s a means to provide for your family. No matter how you view it, the people in custody are human beings too. I know that perceptions about individuals in custody are pushed on you from others, but I challenge you to make your own judgment and not come in with a negative mind be biased and come in with a clear mind and positive attitude.
Most individuals in custody aren’t bad people. They have a story, and one wrong situation, may it be 10 seconds or 10 minutes of their life, doesn’t determine or define them. We ALL have a story to tell. Most of us are not born rich, and most of us are closer to poverty and hardship.
Most, if you cared to ask or cared at all, are victims of circumstance and made a bad call. So please don’t judge them. I challenge you to be kind to them and not degrade them or assert your dominance over them. Everyone in jail isn’t guilty. Actually, in jail, you are “innocent until proven guilty”, but you are treated like “guilty until proven innocent.”
I am an individual in custody. I have been labeled a “ menace to society,” a criminal, and a statistic. Imagine the feeling of knowing you are innocent, but nobody cares, and your voice is never heard. You’re locked down and stripped of your humanity and dignity, judged before even being found guilty.
With your family and loved ones at home, missing your presence. Individuals in custody are people. They are human. We are sons, brothers, uncles, cousins, grandfathers, and most of us father ourselves. Every day in custody, we have limited communication with family, which hurts our support system. Leaves us feeling alone, sadness, hopelessness, emptiness, and depression.
Imagine being in custody, and like me, my father had a major procedure and blood clots removed from his lungs. He almost lost his life. I couldn’t contact I didn’t know what happened; thank God he was ok.
I can’t imagine losing someone in custody, not attending their funeral or property grieve. Not surrounded by love of family, how could you heal alone? Years later, you ’ re found not guilty. Does anybody care? No money or monetary thing can replace what you have lost while gone.
The time and loved ones lost are forever gone. We will never get it back. So the system keeps this in mind. Imagine if this were your brother, child, or family member.
You would want them treated with respect and dignity. So before you joke or pass down bias or judgment, remember everyone deserves grace and respect.
Be the difference. Give a second chance. Make an impact. You might save someone ’ s life with your act of kindness. Remember, everyone is “innocent until proven guilty!”
I am anindividualin custody,butthatdoesn’t change me as a man.I am still a college graduate,communityleader,and afather.
I will continue to be a pillar no matter what my circumstance.
I Am From
I am from the Raq
From Love and Pain
I am from Tarzan's backyard
I am from the concrete jungle
From 64th Englewood
I’m from OG and Pop
From the Gridion
