CEO-Mothers

CEO-MOTHERS NEW WARDROBE TIPS FOR 2021

START SOMETHING

NEW IN YOU 7 STEPS TO MAKE OR BREAK A HABIT

HOW TO

MARKET

Chithra Sundar Woman— Superhero

YOURSELF JANUARY/FEBURARY 2021

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WHAT’S INSIDE 5

Guest Contributors

10 Editorial

11 Bringing families closer together 13

CEO-Mothers Readers’ Circle

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The Importance of Self-Talk

19 CEO-Mothers: 6 Ways to Market Yourself

22 Start something new in you

23 Woman-The superhero—cover story

27 Loving yourself and practicing self-care in unprecedented times 31 Self-Care from a Mother, a Veteran, and a Military Spouse 37 Wardrobe makeover done right CEO-Mothers is a bi-monthly magazine digital and print subscription. The digital experience is published through Issuu.com and it’s distributed and printed by Peecho printing company. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. Neither CEO-Mothers, its publisher nor any other party involved in creating, producing, or delivering this product is liable for any direct, incidental consequential indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your access, to or use of, the publication nor related website.

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CEO-Mothers Address: Customer Inquiries, PO BOX 196, Brice, OH 43109 Telephone: 614-829-3270 Website: www.ceo-mothers.com Email: ceomothersadmin@ceo-mothers.com Subscriptions and orders: ceomothersadmin@ceo-mothers.com “CEO-Mothers is a place where we are building a strong institution of community and of family.”

Founder and Creator LaMeka Howard

Editor LaMeka Howard

Customer Service LaMeka Howard

Advertising Sales LaMeka Howard

Art Director LaMeka Howard

Photo Editor LaMeka Howard

Graphic Designer LaMeka Howard

Unsplash and Pixabay Photographers Martin de Arriba on Unsplash Mike Von on Unsplash Elena Joland on Unsplash

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Annie Spratt on Unsplash Gerd Altmann from Pixabay Kim Carpenter on Unsplash Hanna Postova on Unsplash Janko Ferlič on Unsplash Micheile Henderson on Unsplash F1 Digitals from Pixabay Merry Christmas from Pixabay Lesly Juarez on Unsplash Neven Krcmarek on Unsplash Please Don't sell My Artwork AS IS from Pixabay

Contributors Vunessa Allen-Martin Catrena Cannon Andrea Hutchings Margie Warren

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Contributors

Our Guest Margie Warren, a native from Strongsville, Ohio, is a veteran of the United States Air Force. She traveled immensely from San Antonio, Texas where she had basic training and to the deep south in Valdosta, Georgia to leaning her sweet southern accent. She was appointed in different roles and responsibilities as a Supply Technician with F16 Fighter Jet, as a Lead Coordinator for grounded planes get them operating again, and as an Administrative Support Specialist of the Persian Gulf War. She eventually earned her Associate degree in Health Service Management and a Bachelor degree in Marketing and Management from the University of West Florida. Once her higher learning was completed, she resigned with the AF and decided to start a family where she became a home maker.

She found her calling in health and wellness after her eldest son nearly died from H1N1. Thereafter, she became a Health & Wellness Advocate after joining Network Marketing Companies where she continues to thrive and grow in wellness. Her journey in wellness has given her the opportunity to share what she knows about health and wellness to others so they can live happier and healthier lives.

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Contributors

Our Guest Catrena Cannon, born and raised in Oberlin, Ohio, is where she was surrounded by people full of love and full of compassion.

She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Toledo and a Masters of Business Administration degree from Chancellor University. Since she was surrounded by people within her community to accept people for who they are and find greatness in a people from within, she grew to have a passion in Human Resources with a focus in Diversity & Inclusion. This platform has always been at the forefront of what she has done throughout her career and as an employee of the City of Columbus, she has been blessed with the role as a Workforce Diversity Manager within the Office of Diversity and Inclusion. Having this position has given her the opportunity to assist in shaping their workforce culture into one that is more inclusive and welcoming to all of their employees.

When she is not working, she is spending time with her little girl Rhyan who is full of energy and has a strong enthusiasm for singing, dancing, and running track. In addition, her family is the backbone of who she has become. We are very close knit and spending time together either via FaceTime or Zoom, during this time, has been something that we have treasured.

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Contributors

Our Guest Andrea Hutchings born and raised in Columbus, Ohio. is a mother of 4 beautiful children ages, 25, 21, 15 & 13.

She enjoys helping and inspiring others to prevail and has taken a moment to share some fashionable tips and inspiration al notes to inspire our readers.

She currently resides Scottsdale, AZ.

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Contributors

Our Guest Vunessa Allen-Martin, a wife, a mother, a bonus mother, a daughter, a sister, friend, a social worker, a LIFE coach in training, a trainer, an advocate, a speaker all in one, and a child of God, is a transplant from Georgetown, Guyana (South America), and was raised in Brooklyn, New York. She received her Master’s degree of Social Work from Simmons University (formally Simmons College) and has been working in the child welfare field, as a case worker and as a Casework Supervisor, for over 16 years. These career opportunities have given her the opportunity and platform to fulfill other exciting roles and positions and to be able to use her additional knowledge she acquired in 2019 as Certified LIFE Coach (CLC).

Since becoming a CLC, Vunessa not only enjoys advocating for people, but motivating and inspiring people and seeing them thrive. She discovered her universal assignment through her revelation with God and looking over her life of His blessings to her, she is now taking her situation to be a blessing to other people.

She resides in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, son and her daughter.

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Editorial

LaMeka Howard, Writer, Speaker, and Editor

EDITOR’S NOTE them. Love is not supposed to hurt, but to heal. In this case, this was not love but something that does not connect people together.

In our lives, we, as a people, have many experiences with life issues and may not realize it. We may think the impact of those life issues are only in our communities, in our country, and in our households; however, the very same life issues we may have may be something someone else is having in another country. In this case, we have Chithra Sundar, who is featured in our cover story for our New Year’s issue, who is from Southeastern India, and she shares her story about love, domestic violence, marriage, deceit, motherhood, and set back for a comeback. Her love of her life made her feel as though she was the only one, but had a change-of-heart in desiring another woman and left Chithra and their two children behind. This sounds familiar in the very land of America too. Many women and mothers are faced with domestic violence having to not only fight for themselves, but for their families and for their relationships. Their either boyfriends or husbands left them and their children or have beaten their wives or girlfriends and bruised

Ann Mae Bullock, also known as Tina Turner, singer and performing artist, shares her experience too about her ex-husband, Ike Turner, with Oprah Winfrey on OWN, on how he would beat her with a wooden shoe stretcher and how it really hurt her.

During the beatings, she did not know what was really happening, and then she exclaims Ike would say, “Get in the bed.” She then states, “That was really awful have sex after that no I hate you how can I let you how can we make love now if it’s love…” We then ask ourselves, is this love? She had a swollen head, while having sex, and she states, “I lay there with a swollen head just having sex feeling like you have really gotten yourself into something.”

change when we lose ourselves, as women and as mothers, when our lives change because of marriage and because of having children. We neglect ourselves and show more attention towards the ones we love.

Hence, Margie Warren, one of our contributors for this issue, shares with us that when we get married and have children, do not forget about ourselves. It is important to care for ourselves first before anyone else. If not, then we could look differently based on our bodily shape, hair, mood, attitude, and down-right zombieish. We may not realize that we sacrifice a lot for others and not conscientiously think we are neglecting ourselves but we are and it will show.

Take this time to read what are contributors have to share in this issue: Vunessa Allen-Martin shares about breaking habits and reconditioning ourselves, Andrea Hutchings shares We envelop in to what we may think some inspiration on changing YOU is love only to blind ourselves with and getting rid of things out of our deceit and become controlled by a lives in order to have a more relaxed person with their convictions and it is and abundant life and fashion tips to released to the victim making them keep us stylish, and Catrena Cannon feel there is no escape. gives us life on appreciating the great There are many women and mothers things that surrounds us with people that immediately felt love at first we share so we can feel more inclusight and knew this one person may sive in being ourselves. have been their forever, and over the Let this New Year create something years, the love changed and the renew in all of us so we can have an lationship has fallen apart. When abundant life and a pursuit of happithis happens, not only is the relationness and not allow anything to imship broken but if children are inpede us from our self-worth, not volved, they are left with the unallow anything to eradicate our famiknown question of: why. lies, and to not allow anything to limWe also experience a sense of it our success. Enjoy!

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Family

LaMeka Howard, Writer, Speaker, and Editor

Bringing Families Closer Together Families are like a business with talents, gifts, emotions, endeavors, expectations, opportunities, and strengths that makes families great. There may be families that have already discovered these treasures in their homes, but for those who are just now discovering them, because our lives outside of our homes received more attention due to work expectations and other things what warrants our attention, let us shift back to these basic concepts that will keep families together.

Pray

Martin Luther King Sr states, “A family that prays together is a family that plays together and is a family that stays together. “ Since he encourages these words to keep God first in families’ lives, this importance helps keep families strong knowing their maker in heaven is watching over them and is giving guidance to direct their lives. This is a generational blessing to pass on to future generations so they will not lose their faith and know when good times and bad times come, they can always count on God for direction and He will bring them through anything especially with the power of First Family.

When there is love in the family, it heals. Hug your family members to let them know that you care and to let your family know that they always have a place called home where they can feel safe, feel valued and feel appreciated. In the Bble it reads in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. This is where we can find this in ourselves, that has been passed down from God, so we can share this with our families.

Celebrate

celebrate one another through victories whether it’s about a job promotion, an award received from school or at work, something they learned and something that they were willing to share. When a family celebrates one another, your family is showing that they are happy for one another and to keep up the great work.

When your family members have done something well, especially if they didn’t share it with you and you recognized it and noticed yourself, recognize it by bringing it up during dinner or during an event. You’ll see the smile on their faces and they will feel valued and special. www.ceo-mothers.com

Love

Recognize 11

Family

Delegate

Mothers I know sometimes it may be hard asking for help, but take this time to request for your family, within your household, to help. For instance delegate assignments to your children. Then check in with them to see if they need any assistance or monitor their progress. Once they are done, say, “Thank you for your help” or “I couldn’t have done this without you.” This may lead them to do more work for you in the future without you having to ask because you appreciate their contribution. Let them know when we do things together, it makes is easier for all us because we’re doing this together.

Take this time to have meaningful conversations at the dinner table, in the family room or in the living room. Practice listening while someone else is speaking with no interruptions. Thereafter acknowledge what your family member is saying to ensure you were paying attention. Provide details and that impresses all of your family members that you were listening and that you took the time to show what you’ve learned or what you’ve heard. There are a lot of topics to discuss such as work, school, social media, politics, news, church, the community, science, businesses, and technology.

This is another method on how to help families grow intellectually and educationally.

Conversations

Overall, keep family close and keep them learning and keep them growing. This is your lineage and your name that is going to be carried for a life time. Make it meaningful, purposeful, and graceful.

Feel free to share some of the tips that keep your families close by emailing us at ceomothersadmin@ceomothers.com, and we’ll be glad to publish your tips for future issues.

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CEO-Mothers Readers’ Circle

C

EO-Mothers Readers’ Circle

Do you believe in the power of God and how He can heal? Well, add this to your list of what God can do not only for you, but what he’s done for Cyndy Morrison.

She shares her miraculous story about her brain tumor-on her optic nerve– how it was discovered, what her family endured during this crisis, and how God’s unchanging hands healed her.

She reminds us that when we go through our storm, God will be able to carry us through and calms the waters. Thereafter, He will definitely bring the sunshine.

Get your copy today so we can share how God is a healer and what He’s done with Cyndy’s life and how He can bless our lives too.

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Inspiration

Vunessa Allen-Martin, MSW , Certified LIFE Coach

The Importance of Self-Talk

It is hard to believe that 2021 is here. As we are in a New Year, it is critical to have your thoughts aligned with your vision for your life. Self-talk is everything; whether positive or negative, it can have a HUGE impact on your day or life in general. I like to begin my day being in the moment; prayer and medication afford me to be in the moment with how I want my day to begin. I call this being purposeful. Be purposeful in how you want your day to start and end. Create a commercial for yourself; allow your thoughts to be centered. You can begin by thanking God for waking you up, thank Him for all the things that He will do on your behalf during the day, ask Him to order your steps and your mind with good thoughts. Begin to plan your day; anything distracting that may arise, you turn it around in your mind and take charge of it.

Tell yourself, "I've got this!" Honestly, it is not going to happen overnight, but with focus and dedication to making things better, change can come sooner than later. Here are seven steps to change anything you have wanted to accomplish.

7 Steps To Break (or Make) A Habit

For most people, it takes about four weeks for a new behavior to become routine or habit. The following steps can make it easier to establish a new behavior pattern.

1. The first step is to set your goal.

Especially when you are trying to stop or break a habit, you should try to phrase your goal as a positive statement. For example, instead of saying "I will quit snacking at night,� say "I will practice healthy eating habits.� You should also write down your goal. Committing it to paper helps you to commit. It can also help if you tell your goal to someone you trust.

We all have habits, some good and some not so good.

These are behaviors that we've learned and that occur almost automatically. Most of us have a habit we'd either like to break or one we'd like to develop. www.ceo-mothers.com

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Inspiration

2. Decide on a replacement behavior. (If your goal is to develop a new habit then your replacement behavior will be the goal itself).

This step is very important when you are trying to break a habit. If you want to stop a behavior, you must have a superior behavior to put in its place. If you don't, the old behavior pattern will return.

4. Post reminders to yourself.

You can either do this by leaving yourself notes in the places where the behavior usually occurs or you can leave yourself a message on the mirror, on the refrigerator, and on the computer monitor.

You can also leave some other place where you will see it regularly. You can either have a family member or co-worker use a particular phrase to remind you of your goal.

3. Learn and be aware of your triggers. Behavior patterns don't exist independently. Often, one habit is associated with another part of your regular routine. For instance, in the snacking example, the trigger may be either late night television or reading. You automatically grab a bag of chips while you watch. Many people who smoke automatically light up a cigarette after eating. Think about when and why you do the thing you want to quit.

5. Get help and support from someone. This is kind of obvious.

Any job is easier with help. It works even better if you can form a partnership with someone who shares the same goal.

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Inspiration

7. Reward yourself for making progress at set time intervals.

Focus on your goal one day at a time, but give yourself a small treat at one, three and six months.

The rewards don't have to be big or expensive, and you should try to make it something that's associated in some way with the goal.

Doing this provides you with both incentive and extra motivation. Following these steps is no guarantee of success of course.

6. Write daily affirmations.

Write your phrase or sentence in the present tense (as if it were already happening), and write it ten times a day for twenty-one days. This process helps make your goal a part of your subconscious, which will not only remind you to practice the new behavior, but it also keeps you focused and motivated.

All the best!

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Career

LaMeka Howard, Writer, Speaker, and Editor

CEO-Mothers: 6 Ways to Market Yourself In today's market place, encouraging yourself and complimenting yourself definitely has its benefits. Yes it's nice to hear

level. Remember what you eject may reject if it's not professional and in good taste.

it from people, but you may not always have cheerleaders in your corner, so find ways to self-promote in a modest and in a

Prepare: a blueprint or map of what you want to see different in

respectful way. Learn the 6 Ps that will help you get to the next

your career. What are your strengths? What are your talents

level.

and gifts? How can it benefit the role that you currently have now or what you may be looking for? What can you do differently to gain attention in a positive way? The feedback and selfinventory helps you clean out the old and bring in the new, so you can offer more to the public: your internal and external cus-

tomers. Always be prepared than not be prepared.

If you are going to make a difference in your line of business, listen to your clients by understanding their needs. When you listen, you learn more. When you talk, your learn less. Once you understand what your clients' needs are, try to find a solution. Not hastily. Once you have an idea, see if it works. Try it out yourself or with testers. If some of your testers like it, have them explain why. Was there any cost involved? If not what did you do to prevent cost and if cost was involved how did you manage the cost of the idea.

When you come up with ideas and you already did your research to make a difference and it works, then that's something you can add to your resume or portfolio. It's all about what can you do for your clients while still helping yourself be promoted one day. Treat this as a partnership: you and the company are helping one another and your clientele.

Perception: What are people saying about you? I know in life we have been advised either by mentors, coaches, teachers,

Present: Once you complete either your pilot or your test write

pastors, parents or trainers not to worry about what people say

a proposal to your clients including what the idea is about, the

about you...but it's not about worrying about what people are

pros and the cons about the idea, cost of the idea, what your

saying but how your Brand is viewed by clients.

testers thought about it and why, and how it's going to benefit

them. Remember it's about your clients' business. When all of this is completed, set up a time and a date to present your inforAre you a negative person? Are you a positive person? Are you mation to clients. a me me me person or we we we person? Are you collaborative? Are you receptive to feedback? Do you get angry about

This P, Present, shows that you are a problem-solver, that you something that's brought to your attention, but feel either guilty can get things done without supervision and you know how to or angry about it? Are you receptive to change in your working handle business by negotiating and finding solutions that make environment? Are you self-centered? That's why it's important

the business stronger. In addition, you can show team-work by

to ask colleagues about yourself so you can do a self-

recruiting colleagues to work together on a project too to show

inventory. Once you do a self-inventory of what to discontinue

that you are a team-player and that you can delegate according-

and/or continue about yourself then that's when you can move

ly.

on to step 2, and that is Preparing yourself to the next

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Career

Pitch-in: if you see your colleague with a challenging situation because he or she is bombarded with tasks, learn how to ask, "Do you need assistance?" Don't look at the clock saying "Man I can't wait to get off work," or "I don't have anything to do," because there's always something to do. Instead lend a helping-hand. If he or she does then be more than happy to help. This shows that you see a need, and that you are willing to assist as long as you are well organized with your own responsibilities and you have extra time to support.

Pen Your Accomplishments: if you have succeeded and were acknowledged of something that you've done well, write it down or print the information. You may add this to your portfolio so that when you have an interview or during your self-appraisal, you may showcase this information. In addition, interviewers definitely want to know during the time that you've been in your position, what have you done during this time, how long did it take you to accomplish these goals, and how did it make a difference. If you have achieved these things, then they will definitely want you because if you taken time to increase your knowledge and help your line of business, then you can help their business too.

Position: when following all steps, rest assured you will be placed in a position where you will prosper because you took the steps to learn who you are, how you were perceived, prepare yourself for new challenges, you were prepared to present when asked, you were able to pitch-in to help your colleague(s), and you were able to discuss your accomplishments that will now take you to a new position. Over all you did these things without having to compromise your integrity by lying, by gossiping, by cheating, and by mistreating anybody.

Always remember you are stuffed with knowledge and great talent for the world to see. Get in position and deliver great results for your employer, for your family and for your community too.

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Inspiration

Andrea Hutchings, Mother, Nurse

Start Something New in YOU! Happy New Year!! I'm not one who is really big on New Year resolutions because I feel that every day that we awaken is a time in which we can restart and do what we did not do the day before. However, this year is different. 2020 was challenging for the most of us. How? Let’s revisit what happened: there were countless deaths, jobs lost and our faith was really tested; hence, we, as a people, made it. God has allowed us to see another year. The question now is: what will we do to live our lives to our fullest potential? How can we be sure to leave here with no regrets? We, as mothers and women, often put everyone in front of us, while pushing our aspirations, hopes and dreams to the back burner. 2021 is your year! Now I am speaking not only to us, but specifically YOU. You that is reading this article. This is the year that you will learn to either: sew, paint, fly a plane, start a small business, matriculate into higher learner, start a non-profit organization, or do whatever it is that you have always wanted to do. You do not have to share it with anyone if you choose not to. Just do it. It is encouraged not to allow others to discourage you.

You have made it here for a reason. Reset your mind to allow you to take time out for yourself.

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Get a journal and write down either your goals or things that you have always wanted to do.

Set either a deadline or timeframe for each aspiration to hold yourself accountable. Make sure it is attainable and measurable, so you do not give up. If you have a change of heart, if you are not successful, then at least you can say that you tried it. I have done a few things myself to reset. I started by deleting all social media apps from my phone. Although it may seem minor, we often do not realize how much time we spend time scrolling and double tapping. When we start deleting, those deletions count, and it is a big step because it was a CHANGE. A lot of phones have daily limits that you can set to lessen your time on social media.

I then vowed to only listen to gospel and inspirational music for 30 days. Music is so powerful.

It can really affect your mood and thoughts. I also started a daily devotion on the Holy Bible App. Lastly, I did not accept phone calls from either people who stressed me out or who were negative. 30 days may be too much for you. Try a week and see how good you feel.

You can then make time to work on you. Listen to God, as He calmly speaks and directs you.

He wants us happy. It is up to us to make it

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COVER STORY

“WOMAN- THE SUPERHERO”

By: Chithra Sundar, Mother and Teacher

Co-Writer and Editor: LaMeka Howard

LOVE, the four letter word, is mostly what a woman wants because it feels good and it feels safe. This powerful word captures her attention, entices her thoughts, changes her mood, and craves for more especially if it’s given by a special person who wins her heart. She enjoys the gifts, the calls, the flirts, the sweet talks and his admiration for her. Her thoughts can change how she feels about him, especially if the feeling is authentic. It can either draw her closer to him or it can draw her further apart. However, if she doesn’t focus on seeing the truth within the person she thinks she found love, when the truth is revealed, it may be very difficult to escape if all she has been experiencing was a lie. This is my story.

Love is what I wanted to receive because I felt that love is a beautiful thing. I tried it, but I felt as though it failed me. I realized that “LOVE IS BLIND.” I fell in love, like all people do, and in my opinion every woman’s success in her life depends on her life partner. I marveled in what he wanted and thought he and I would grow together. In this way, I fell in love with a person because I had a crazy unconditional love toward a man that I would eventually call my husband. We hardly knew one another, in spite of our struggles and with my parents’ support, I married him. Days and years passed and we were blessed with a beautiful baby boy (Sherwin) in 2011. Surprisingly after giving birth to our son, I noticed a difference in my husband’s love toward me. My mind started wondering and thinking: is it me? Did I do something wrong? Is it my body? Is it that you don’t think I am the same woman that you married before having our son? What can I do differently? Is he cheating? Finally I discovered the issue: he had an illegal relationship with a spinster. I was deeply shocked and appalled. I couldn’t believe that after giving birth to our son, this would happen. His love not only changed toward me, but he started to resent me daily.

Several months past, I experienced something that a woman should never have to experience in her life: he beat me. One day I was talking to my parents through his phone and all-of-a-sudden, a call came through and I answered. It was a lady asking with boldness, “Where is my boyfriend?!” She asked, “Who are you?” I reply, “I am his wife.” She was frozen and asked me in a shocking manner, “IS HE MARRIED?! He said that he is single, so we started to love each other.” I shouted, while on a call with her, and cut the call. I asked about him cheating on me. Then the quarrel started. He beat me again. I

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Above Photo: Chithra Sundar

have been accustomed to my parents showering me with affection since I was a child and even to this day, I thought by my getting married, I would receive the same experience. Instead it was a disgrace. I was fed up. I said to him, “THAT'S IT!” I had enough. I decided to speak to my parents about my marital affairs, and they started to cry. They couldn’t understand the reason behind his madness and they couldn’t understand the reason their precious adoring daughter would have to be a victim of this situation. They raised their daughter as a young lady and only to discover their daughter was disrespected. They were infuriated, and didn’t want to see him anymore. That same day, when I left from sharing with my family about what happened, I was treated harshly again by my husband. We were still married, of course, but I forgave him because I loved him very much and I thought things would change. That “fed up” statement was erased. In order to save our relationship, I started begging him to leave his secret relationship, but he abandoned me and went to stay at his mother’s family house. During this time, I was pregnant with our second child.

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Cover Inspiration Story I went through turmoil and anguish and still to this day, “I REMEMBER THE PAIN.” I remember him walking out of my life, and didn’t look back to even say They started living happily together and forgot about that he was sorry or good bye. I know we, as women, their former families. Unfortunately, my kids and I hear people say, “Get over it.” “You’ll find somebody were left alone. else.” “You don’t need him.” “You can do better by yourself.” “He was not good anyway.” “You should have done everything to save your marriage.” “What Below: Sherwin, Shravan and Chithra did you do?” Instead I refuse to hear those voices speaking and the messages going in and out of my ear, I made an executive decision to throw him out of my life. Every day, I avoided him as much as I could. If I see him walking the street, at a supermarket, or if he tried to contact me, I would ignore him. Although I was separated from my husband at this time, I was blessed with our second baby boy (Shravan) in 2015. I was determined that I was going to raise my sons to the best of my ability and to accomplish my future endeavors.

“After he departed, I made a promise to myself that I would not trust anybody.”

A year later, he wanted to reconnect and be in our lives. This was his second time promising that he would not be unlawful, unfaithful, and uncommitted. He apologized to my parents and started to convince my parents and me that things will change. My parents were definitely convinced and made me accept him back in our lives, my sons and I. I listened to my parents’ advice, so I forgave him and accepted him back into our lives. Something inside of me was telling me, “Don’t do it,” but I didn’t listen to my instinct. One day his original face showed up again. This was the same experience Tina Turner, the former singer and entertainer, had with her ex-husband, Ike Turner, in her movie, What’s Love Got to Do with It, played by Angela Bassett as Tina and Laurence Fishburne, as Ike, as he came begging for her to come back. All-of-a-sudden the real Ike showed up after she refused to go back with him due to excessive domestic violence by him. This time, I was determined to be strong and I started to confront him about his behavior.

After he departed, I made a promise to myself that I would not trust anybody. I made a commitment to believe in myself and that I would be my own partner. I began caring for my aged parents and my young lovely children. See the world continues, so do you think the world allows me to live peacefully? Not, it was a struggle each and every day. I was the only one person to financially support our family; however, it was not enough. Sometimes I couldn’t give sufficient food to my children. My children are my biggest boon. In this small age, they understood. In this small age, they completely understood my situation and they loved me more. Almost 7 days, my children and I ate only biscuits. They didn’t ask me. Almost 7 days, my children and I had eaten only biscuits. They didn’t even get the milk to drink, but they were so quiet and didn't ask me. Though they were hungry, they didn’t ask me because they knew the family's challenging situation. I asked them if they were hungry, and they told me that they were not hungry. My children are now 6 years and 9 years old. I am really blessed to have them in my life.

He didn’t like how I addressed him, so he left again, and this time he eloped with another lady who was “(Women always trust everybody without any doubt, already married and had two like me. His new wife, but instead they are the only ones always doubted by deserted her children and eloped with him. others.)”-CHITHRA SUNDAR -

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Inspiration Cover Story I have been a teacher and working at the same school since 2007. Financially, my salary was not enough to run the family as a single parent. After the long search I received a part time mobile. In the morning, I went to the school and in the evening I went to my part time job. My salary did not compensate my family and me including my parents. Having this part time job helped me to advance in my career; however, I didn’t lose my confidence. I diligently worked, but everywhere we have to face some obstacles. Due to my patience, I am still working in the same school. Although I faced a lot of obstacles as a single parent, I tackled more issues and was determined to accomplish them. I WORKED fearlessly. After the part time job I created a routine that will keep my family and me on track. During this time of my working, I was temperamental and impatient. Overtime I became better and stronger and didn’t allow my circumstance to affect my attitude. I faced my situation with boldness and started to accept it in a positive way.

Below: Chithra, Shravan, and Sherwin

I am working every day to create a strategy that will be conducive for family and for me. I want them to see how beautiful the world is around us. “Definitely I want to set myself as an example for my kids and teach them how they should treat all the ladies in their future.” There may be some things I cannot teach as a women; however, I will surround them great men that can influence this to be great men as they become older too.

Always remember you are not alone. See the mirror, a Super Power is standing in front of you. You may feel like no one deserves you better. As women, we are imbibed with a lot of confidence in comparison to our male counterparts. We struggle and break the barriers by our own self-booster: to the entire single mothers and I want to tell you that we are born to win in this world too. As my words of wisdom to all of you, “There is no one more special than yourself because no one is more precious than your own self, Hold on tight--You’re on your own Bumpy Ride,”--Marilyn Monroe.

“NO ONE IS YOU, THAT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER.”

-Chithra Sundar-

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Beauty and Health

Catrena Cannon, Philanthropist, Writer

Loving yourself and

practicing self-care in

unprecedented times

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Beauty and Health 2020 has been a year like no other. When I was approached to write this article, I immediately thought about all of the hurt, anguish, and disappointment I felt throughout this year and how to cope. Then I had an epiphany that if it was challenging for me to cope, it may be difficult for others to cope too. In the news we have seen, as a people, racial injustice, madness with our political administration, parents becoming full-time teachers, jobs lost, and lives lost due to COVID-19 Coronavirus too. This has definitely taken a toll on most of us. This can pair with either motherhood of being a mother of a young child or even a wife taking care of an entire family. It is almost impossible to figure out how to navigate our emotions and rationalize what we’ve experienced.

with you some tips that will keep you together as it has kept me together:

Healthy Step 1: Taking time to go for a walk can be so therapeutic and exhilarating. When you take a walk, you can relax your mind and reflect on the things you learn or things you can improve on in life .

Healthy Step 2:

Doing your own facials is something that you can entertain. For Let’s first talk about the racial injustice! We saw instance, you can research different products that may be suitaGeorge Floyd yelling for help because he could not breathe. It reminds me of the lives that were ble for your skin type and skin type. Once you find the correct lost 50 years ago for the same thing that has been emotionally heart-wrenching. Today, peo- product, treat yourself by applyple are still fighting for racial equality and against ing the product and feel the police brutality. I often ask myself the question, difference. Continue your regimen and you will see results.

“When is this going to end?” How many more lives will we have to lose in order to see justice and to be treated as equal. Our past administration had offered a platform for individuals to demonstrate disrespect and hate at the highest level. When this happens, it transcends across There are many things you can the globe. do to find peace and tranquility,

Healthy Step 3:

COVID-19 came in like a windstorm that destroyed and caused the lives of so many to be dislocated, depressed and discouraged. Trying to navigate and handle the transition of working from home and having to not only handle your work responsibilities, but also become a teacher to your child was quite daunting for so many. With all of this, I again have asked myself, how do I cope with all of the losses of those I know and don’t know. Do they have help through this difficult time? Are our children receiving the necessary resources needed for school to succeed? Are parents receiving the support needed from work and support for their children emotionally, mentally, and spiritually?

With all of the storms we have all faced this year, I finally have come to the conclusion that we, as women and as a people, have to ensure that we take care of ourselves. Feeling isolated and dealing with the COVID-19 has taken mental health to a whole new level and we have to take some extra steps to keep ourselves healthy. I had to do this myself, and I would like to share

and another option is to read a book of your interest. What genre do you like: Romance, Action, Non-Fiction, Mystery, Adventure, or Sci-fi? You have the power to choose.

Healthy Step 4: Complete a home improvement project that may have been postponed. It’s time to get it done. Go to Home Depot, Lowe’s or Menards, and find the tools and materials you need to get your project completed. In addition, you can find information on YouTube too to help guide you on the know-hows to help you from start until completion.

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Beauty and Health

Healthy Step 5:

Healthy Step 6:

Let’s get back to playing games as a family.

It can be an added-value experience too.

Take time to encourage someone else. When you are building someone else, you are building and encouraging yourself too.

In conclusion, whatever it is that makes you happy and allows your mind to escape from some of the negativity in this world, take that time to escape: it is worth your time. Once you are able to self care you will have found self love and when you have self-love, you will be able to love others too . This will eradicate hate.

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Beauty and Health

Margie Warren, Mother, Veteran, Wife

Self-Care from a Mother, a Veteran, and

a Military Spouse

From the time I was a little girl, I never dreamed of being a doctor, lawyer, or an actress on the big screen (although I thought my shower singing voice was on point). The only thing I ever dreamed of being was a wife and a mother. My only exercise routine consisted of softball, some volleyball seasons, and riding my bike around the city to see my friends. I had also worked from age 14 and had a strong-work ethic and my grades were not all that great and I knew I couldn’t make it to college.

I don’t know where I got this notion from, but I was convinced that “this” was the body I was “given” and there wasn’t much else I could do about it. Growing up I was a little “bigger” than many of the stick-figure girls I went to school which created many bad self-esteem issues. On the other hand, what else does a 17-year-old girl from Ohio do, but join the Air Force in her junior year because many generations of my family including my great-aunt did as well as my brother. I am an immensely proud citizen of the United States of America. This was a chance to travel the world, have my full tuition paid, and protect America’s freedom- I felt this was my plan-well my only plan.

Above: Margie Warren

I was 3 lbs “overweight” to be in the service, however, when I lost it, I was ready to take my first airplane ride to Texas. I went through 6 weeks of basic training in the Air Force that includes waking every morning to run, exercising in 100+ degree Texas weather, eating decently and having the stress of someone yelling shed many pounds but increase my confidence and self-worth. This extra push seemed impossible just a few years before.

A lot happened in that 6 weeks. I started liking who I was, my appearance and my stance. My ego was previously broken only to be it rebuilt as a Winning-Warrior. I had to dig deep in me when the Gulf War started to prepare myself for this new experience. I saw my friends deployed to war and I was deployed to Saudi Arabia to represent my country and to protect our freedom. It was a time to be focus and to fulfill a purpose.

I had vicissitudes in my life with bulimia, deciding who I wanted in my life through my 20s, and experiencing a HUGE lesson I learned about racism in the deep south of Georgia.

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Beauty and Health It is almost a crime to talk back to a superior in the military and one of my best friends was an African American male. He helped me through a lot of my personal situations and provided words of encouragement. However, when my white superior came up to me and told me “You better not hang out with him,” I looked at him and asked, “Why?” He replied, “Because some people may think you’re dating.” I replied, “I don’t care.” That was one of the very first times I stood up for something I completely believed and stood up for an injustice and felt good about being my true self.

How did I “take care of myself?” Well, I neither did as a mother nor a military spouse. As a mom, I lost my self-identity. Every waking hour was tending to my boys and my husband. I helped out at church and did Bible studies…

I was stationed in Italy, traveled all over Europe, Hawaii and Australia. It was tremendously amazing.

This gave me an opportunity to experience different cultures and I loved it. Being a woman in the military was great but I got married and didn’t want to take a chance on being deployed at the same time. I moved to Hawaii and when I thought I wanted to be a mom, we were told we couldn’t get pregnant without INVITRO-ICSI. I was devastated, questioned why there were so many women who didn’t want to get pregnant and why not me. I questioned doctors and even questioned if I did something so bad to not be able to have children.

One of my close friends, who subsequently had her first after me, came over and says “Margie, you used to like dressing up. You used to like to exercise. You used to have friends…so let us swap kids and exercise again. I’ll watch the boys if you have an appointment or want to go to the grocery store.” I learned then, that asking for HELP was not wrong and it best thing I could have ever done. I did it to every spouse I could after that. The biggest lesson I learned was about SELF-CARE.

I read, reread, got all the education in the world about how to bring our boys to this world, but once they were here….I never slept, I had eaten occasionally, I didn’t exercise, I looked “homely” that was my “style.”

I prayed, I cried and it was here that I gave up on my ways, my thoughts, my plan. We tried different ways to get pregnant to no avail. Little did I know, my husband made a promise to God, that if He got us pregnant, we would give Him back the money we would’ve paid for Invitro. We got orders to Hawaii and I got pregnant! I was overjoyed and stunned! Sadly, 9 weeks later we lost that baby. Again, my emotions were all over the place and I questioned WHY! After 3 years, we moved to Alabama. Nine months after we moved, I had our first son and we wrote a check to the church, this was the first time My Faith was tested and I trusted God completely and something that was completely out of our control worked out for us. A few years later, our second son was born!

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Beauty and Health

“What is this “Self-Care?”

1. To be AUTHENTIC. I knew who I was and it was ok NOT to be a size “0”.

2. Taking Full Responsibility for our actions and not blaming others 3. Learned alternative medicine (Kangen), supplements, holistic health 4. Help others…I need to keep balance of this 5. At some point in my life, I realized not only am I different than others, my difference mattered, my difference was beautiful and I wanted to help others BELIEVE in themselves.

6. When things are out of my control…trust the process.

7. Take risks-do not regret anything in life 8. Grit & Perseverance 9. Be Intentional 10. Be a woman of your word 11. It is ok to feel your feelings but don’t sit and park in them 12. Vulnerable-to be honest with not only myself but with others 13. Be open to change 14. BE the change you want to see in the world 15. Believe in abundance: relationships, money, friends, business, Everything.

16. Belief that everything is FOR YOU-not just for everyone else 17. We are all going to Fail-but Fail Forward!

18. ***Stay away from toxic people including family members; instead be the example for them.

19. Draw boundaries: Block anyone who is not giving you peace (in life and on social media). Unfollow, unfriend, &/or mute everyone who disturbs your peace

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What I did and PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS for SELFCARE 1. KEY: helping others not only increases oxycontin, literally watching an act of kindness does as well.

2. Started working out 3. Started a network company with one of the founders of a multi-million dollar co (I SOAKED UP ALL OF HIS KNOWLEDGE)….

4. I trusted my gut 5. I took care of my gut= immune system through food, supplements and reducing stress 6. Journal 7. I go to Therapy 8. I made a Vision board- link 9. Reiki-Massage 10. Read!! Leaders READ! No one can ever take knowledge away from you.

11. Music-listen to your favorites often & BLAST IT! 12. Listen to that still-small voice!

13. KNOW that YOU are enough and 14. KNOW that YOU are WORTH IT!

As a Veteran, I learned to be TOUGH! I learned it took PERSEVERANCE and GRIT to push through Helpful Resources just for you: things that could be so dark as war come out on the other side.

Self-Love video: https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=fdBenN6x7GU&feature=youtu.be As a mother, I learned to be genuine to myself: my wants, my needs but may not be MY TIMING. Books: Self Love Workbook for Women Whole Again by……

As a Military Spouse, I learned that its OK not to be Green Light by Matthew McConaughey OK. I spent a year at a time while my husband was deployed, being both the mother and the father and I SURVIVED! You can too! Believe!

Hibernate from everyone (even if its 5 minutes a day), focus on you, learn more about yourself and what you need to do in order to love yourself. Then trust me everything else will fall into place.

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Fashion

Andrea Hutchings, Mother, Writer

Black is beautiful but it should not be the only color in your wardrobe. We have officially gone back to the tie dye 70's and the biker short wearing 80's. If you pay attention to fashion, it is constantly changing but it also repeats itself. This year kids thought they were trending by wearing Champion gear and Fila's. If you are 30 plus, then you have already been there and done that not anymore. Tie dye has made its way back as well as biker shorts and crop tops.

These are bright bold colors or pastels.

So why are you still wearing all black?

Yes, black is slimming and you can't go wrong with a black dress. But... be bold.

Wear a statement necklace. Get yourself some cool, funky, earrings. Your personality is often silently expressed in what you wear. Don't be scared of patterns or bright colors. Especially if you have a bright personality. Express yourself through your style. Make a statement without saying a word.

Throw on some green heels or, flats with your black. Start slow if that works for you. You can still be professional with color unless you are the first lady...then there may be a problem.

Love yourself enough to be confident in what you wear. There is only one you.

No one can duplicate that. Be your own stylist. Have your own swag. You are always trending by being yourself.

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WARDROBE MAKEOVER DONE RIGHT

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