Christian Brothers High School • Enter to Learn, Leave to Serve
A MESSAGE FROM THE PRINCIPAL Dear Parents,
MAY 2015
SPRING SEMESTER Christian Brothers High School Monthly Newsletter
www.cbhs-sacramento.org
INSIDE
In the film Evening Star, Aurora, the character played by Shirley MacLaine, is lamenting over the choices and behavior of her grandchildren. Her friend and housekeeper commiserates, saying,“You can love ‘em, but you can’t live their lives.” MacLaine’s character answers, “Neither can they. Not properly.” Sometimes parenting can feel that way – an uphill battle, with frustration and vexation when our children appear to forget all the years of our training and all the wisdom we have imparted, and make mistakes that seemingly sabotage their success or their future. It is enough to turn our hair gray! But the good news is that none of the training or words of wisdom are really lost. Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” You have spent many years instilling values and moral principles in your children, and we here at Christian Brothers are honored to see the fruit of that training on a daily basis. It is true, teenagers make mistakes and sometimes choose unwisely – but then don’t we all? The great thing about life is that failure is inevitable, but it is not the end of the story, as long as it is used to learn and grow. Part of the deal God makes with us as parents is not only to allow failure in our children (whether it is encouraging the toddler who falls and fails repeatedly while learning to walk, or the teen who brings home a failing grade on a test) but also to see both the failures of our children and our own failings as opportunities for growth. Along with that grace of allowing and forgiving failure, we have an opportunity to reframe failure in the light of growth vs. fixed mindset. What does that mean? Well, as Dr. Robert Brooks explains, “Mindsets are the assumptions and expectations we have for ourselves and others. These attitudes guide our behavior and influence our responses to daily events.” Stanford researcher Carol Dweck has done extensive research on this topic and in her words, “Success is not determined by innate talents and intellect. Rather, success depends upon mindset – the degree to which we believe we have the capacity to cultivate our intelligence and grow our abilities.” A fixed mindset is a rigid mindset that results in a false sense of superiority, undermined by a deep sense of self-doubt, a fear of failure, refusal to take risks, a feeling that failure permanently defines one as a loser, a need to prove oneself again and again,
the belief that only untalented, ungifted people have to work for success, a need for validation and reassurance in labels (“smart,” “jock”), and a desire to blame others or outside circumstances when things don’t go one’s way. Growthmindset thinking results in a love for learning and selfimprovement, a desire to be challenged, a willingness to work for positive results, a belief that one can control the outcomes in one’s life with effort and practice, the ability to learn from mistakes and failures, and emotional resilience. As we enter the final days of the 2014-15 academic year, I encourage you to cultivate growth-mindset thinking in your children. There are several ways to do this. Here are a few suggestions: Practice modeling growth-mindset thinking with your child; explain how you deal with challenges and how you continue to learn; emphasize the joy of learning for learning’s sake; set appropriately high expectations and provide support; praise effort, practice, and process – not outcome alone; ask:“What can you learn from this experience? What could you try differently the next time?”; provide honest, constructive criticism that emphasizes growth; make concrete plans for growth; point out the perseverance/effort of favorite athletes and stars; take reasonable risks, and encourage your children to do so. By emphasizing positive growth over a fixed approach, our children can end the school year strong, optimizing opportunities for progress and development. As our Founder, St. John Baptist de la Salle, reminds us, “Be satisfied with what you can do, since this satisfies God, but do not spare yourself in what you can do with the help of grace. Be convinced that, provided you are willing, you can do more with the help of God’s grace than you imagine.” In gratitude to each of you for your partnership with us – have a wonderful end to 2014-15! Live Jesus in our hearts,
Principal Domine Opus Tuum
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