break & bloom | Issue 3: Muse

break & bloom

Issue 3:

Muse

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Vania Liu

(she/they)

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Audrey Yeung

(she/her)

LAYOUT DESIGN Tatiana Diaz de Leon (she/her) COPY EDITOR Jahfreen Alam

(she/they)

COVER PHOTOGRAPHY Desi Dumalo

(he/him/his/they)

PHOTOGRAPHY ASSIST Erika Totanes

(she/her)

CONTRIBUTORS

Dianna Morales

they/them diannamorales.com

Sam Yoshikawa he/him @samyoshi3

Stilljerick he/him @stilljerick

INVI

she/they @1nviding.art

shummiiee

they/them @shummiiee shummiiee.square.site

Desi Dumalo

he/him/his/they @desi.dumalo desiumalo.com

Whoops — hope you didn’t forget about us! Hello again, dear readers. We’ve missed you.

Somehow, we’ve put almost nine months in between our last issue and this one. I might have been caught up with a few work and family obligations, but it feels good to be back.

During a conversation when producing the last issue, Vania and I concluded that we wanted the third issue to be continuous to themes introduced in issue 1: bloom and issue 2: break.

After all, we love trilogies (are we even K-pop fans if we don’t?). The first theme focused on growth, rebirth, and expansion. The second focused on breaking free from the confines of youth. As we embarked on the third, we wanted to explain what sort of themes stick around through an artist’s journey. We settled on: inspiration. One’s motivation or drive doesn’t disappear with age or time. During times of uncertainty, some things remain certain and unequivocal. As Vania and I continued to mull through the questions, we acknowledged that all artists alike will always be inspired by something; something is to be their MUSE. With that in mind, there would be no better type of artist to feature than dancers. Dancers are artists constantly pulling from and being inspired by their fellow movers. Starting from a foundation–whether it is a technique, genre, or style– and building upon it is part of a dancer’s DNA; dance wouldn’t exist without intentional collaboration. While I may have exited that world after college, I left my conversation with our cover artist, Sam Yoshikawa III, rather satisfied to see that a dancer’s faith in the art form has not wavered, regardless of what personal or external challenges are thrown their way.

Thank you to Desi (and Erika!) for gracing us with their time and effort for our cover feature.

Special shoutout to Park Jimin, hope you don’t mind that our projects share a name.

- Audrey, Editor-in-Chief

I think, more than anything, this will be a thank you letter to Sam, Erika, and Desi.

I’ll admit, I was a little indulgent with this issue’s theme. Ever since the beginning of break and bloom, Audrey and I have aspirations of regularly featuring dance content at some point. With the current state of things, though, it’s a little challenging to properly showcase something so motion-based through stationary images. The theme of MUSE, along with hopes to do our first interview, combined to create an opportunity to showcase dance in a different way – through the eyes of a dancer, instead of an audience.

The decision to feature Sam came so easily. I met Sam after I joined Pursuit of Passion (P.O.P), my current dance team, last year, and I truly consider myself lucky to have spent any amount of time under his directorship. At the time, my relationship with dance had lost its direction, and I only went to audition in place of my friend. Thanks to Sam, Erika, and the rest of the team, I’ve been able to rebuild my connection to dance while growing exponentially as a dancer. As you’ll probably see in a bit, part of the reason why I’m so fond of Sam is his humility. I’ve never thanked him properly for what he’s given me, so this issue, though small, seemed like a proper chance to do so.

Bringing on Erika and Desi as a photography team was also out of the question, personally.

Both are friends of Sam, and Audrey and I wanted to create a safe, familiar space for Sam to express his thoughts. Though many on P.O.P. refer to Erika as the “mom” of the group, I often saw her as a protector. From my past team experiences, it’s often hard to feel validated as a woman in cis-male-dominant spaces. Knowing that Erika was more than happy to be a strong voice for you was more than comforting, and she was a big catalyst in the recollection of my self-confidence both in and out of dance. Though I’ve known Desi the shortest, we’ve worked together on a Halloween and a team photoshoot after this one, and his disarming approach as a photographer has been invaluable.

Dance has been a constant anchor in my life, a safe refuge from the ups and downs outside studio floors. I hope to do many more projects involving the art form, but even this has been an incredibly special experience for me. I hope your experience as a reader will be equally as fruitful, and you’ll see why I celebrate these individuals the way I do.

P.S. A special thank you to P.O.P., of course. To your past, present, and future forms <3

- Vania, Editor-in-Chief

wormsweat soils, what a waste of loneliness, how that image takes its shape, its bloom, its bruises. You are not so small that your shape is untrue. You are not so weak that your hands are untouched. skyswept sighs, your skin burns birdsong, how much the grass loves your skin, how dare that thin space grows. What about your tremors? What about your marvels? You are not so large that your mouth sews shut. You are not so flawed that you are not there. There, with the birds’ bones tied to your wrists, you are building something fierce, too large for a small land, a laugh, always a smile, what a wonderbreath, how your lungs deflate gods. You are not so broken that your body is disowned.

You are not so lost that the earth does not cover you, an aircloud blanket over these wormsweat homes. What a waste of loneliness, if the shape of your body goes ignored. And, the birds—they sing.

They sing.

by Dianna Morales

m

a s yo shik

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For our very first zine interview, Audrey, co-editor for break & bloom, spent a sunny summer afternoon with Sam Yoshikawa. Desi Dumalo and Erika Totanes, friends of Sam, were also on-site as our photography team. Sam is a professional dancer located in the Bay Area. He’s a current member of The Company, a teacher at the Westlake School for the Performing Arts, co-director of Training Ground, and a regular instructor at City Dance Studios in San Francisco.

This timing of this interview comes after Sam has completed his time as a director of Pursuit of Passion (P.O.P.), a San José-based team. To explore the meaning of MUSE, we discuss Sam’s dance journey, what comes next, and what MUSE means to him.

PHOTOGRAPHY Desi Dumalo STORY Audrey Yeung

There’s something special about speaking to artists, especially dancers, who are geniuses at what they do.

There’s a certain magic captured in how they talk about their craft that leaves you a bit in awe and a lot inspired.

During my conversation with Sam Yoshikawa, I got the chance to witness his ingenuity as he recollects his dance journey—one that continues to evolve.

During the summer, I spoke with Sam at Alviso Adobe Park in quaint and charming Pleasanton, California.

Under the warmth of the August sun, I am joined by Sam, current member of The Company, now ex-director of P.O.P. (Pursuit of Passion) and star of this month’s issue, Erika, Sam’s friend and ex-Team Events Coordinator of P.O.P., and Desi Dumalo, our photographer.

While Desi and Erika set out to survey the park, I take Sam over to an area off-pavement littered with wooden stumps to initiate the interview. Dressed in effortless blues, tans, and a stylish hat, Sam stood out from the dry grass and woody scene but blended into the tall trees with a similar quiet confidence. Over the next three hours, we recount his relationship with dance, what has changed and what hasn’t, his thoughts on the team he built, the legacy he will be leaving, and where his artistry will take him next.

AUDREY: So, give me a quick synopsis of your dance journey.

SAM: I started in 2010 from Jabbawockeez.

I learned from YouTube and only started my formal training in high school in 2012.

I joined the choreography community in 2014 / 2015. A year later, I joined Chocolate Factory in the fall of 2016 during their rebrand. I’ve been with The Company [a Daly City-based team] since 2019 and P.O.P. [Pursuit of Passion, a San José-based team] up until a couple of months ago.

P.O.P. gave me the ability to form a community and work on competitions and exhibition shows. I only started freestyling two years ago and that’s when a lot of doors opened for me in terms of both choreography and freestyle.

AUDREY: Now that you’ve stepped down from being director of P.O.P., is this a break?

SAM: It feels like a transition but it doesn’t feel like a break. [Sam chuckles to himself.]

I am going from leading to being more of a member and I have gained a lot in terms of technique. It’s a way to learn a fresh perspective from leading students to now stepping in their shoes to understand how well they learn. Getting down to the philosophical side of dance, not just movement.

AUDREY: During your time as a leader, what did you learn? Why lead?

SAM: [Sam hesitates.] Just always wanted to… it was an opportunity that I came to embrace. At the end of the day, no one else did it. So, it was time.

AUDREY: What are you most proud of during this opportunity?

SAM: There are some pieces of work that I’m

proud of— but of course, I always think it’s not good enough.

AUDREY: How did you decide that it was time for you to make your exit from POP?

Now that I’m stepping away from leading and going back into just creating something, I feel proud I had a hand in creating something special.

SAM: [Sam thinks for a beat and before he answers. He laughs.] I joke around a lot and say I was fucking done but ultimately I felt comfortable making that decision and had assurance from those around me. There were times even this last season when I couldn’t step away and felt nervous about leaving.

However, at this point, I’m looking forward to new things coming and what lies ahead.

I’m most proud of the diligence and patience that helped create POP. What do they say?

“It’s how legacies are created”?

AUDREY: Thoughts you’d like to impasse on the next generation of POP’s leaders?

SAM: With more time they will get there.

Like I said, it takes diligence and patience.

They’ll need to take the time to grow into it and those people will learn to understand how to pass it on correctly. I would also make sure there’s a balance of prioritizing yourself and the team.

In between conversations with Sam, Desi led us through the trees of the park and prompted Sam to freestyle while standing atop one of the stumps we were just sitting on. “Give me something with a beat!” Sam calls out and Desi picks something out of his Rolodex of Spotify Liked Songs for something that Sam can move to.

Looking over the Pleasanton ridge, Sam and I note how gentle the day felt. Up until this point, I’ve only had the pleasure of experiencing Sam through YouTube and Instagram videos, maybe a few performances here and there. After getting a chance to talk to the Sam Yoshikawa for the first time, I learned quickly that he’s a person of few words. He observes Desi and the few other groups meandering around the park with a calm, neutral expression.

The quiet feels easy and I don’t feel pressure to ask my next question, though my curiosity pushes me to break the silence.

AUDREY: Why choose dance as your medium? What can you express with dance that you can’t express somewhere else?

SAM: [Sam nods.] I trust it. I can always go back to dance as an art form; it’s a place where, regardless of what’s going on, there will also be room for people to take and make space. People should take breaks but I find that dance is something you can let go and pick up wherever you left off. And that, in combination with trust, I know I can always go back to it when times get like that.

AUDREY: It seems to be a common experience amongst artists but dancers particularly to experience blocks or plateaus in their artistry. In your dance journey, do you think working through them made you a better dancer?

SAM: Being around other creatives in general and trusting your passion has made me better. Learning to let something breathe.

I feel like I got to experience the magic that goes into being diligent towards something.

AUDREY: Does dance provide you any comfort? Or security? Does dance alleviate anything for you?

SAM: [Sam looks at me with certainty.]

Always. For me, when I feel distant or find that I’m dancing for intentions that are not pure, it’s important to let it marinate. Just like what I tell my students, I never want to feel like it’s a job and lose the passion for it.

I like this hobby and regardless of how busy, it’s important to take breaks before you get better. Let it sit on the side when it gets kind of tiring and find it when you feel like coming back. Establish and respect the boundaries you set.

As the sun begins setting, we hike up higher into the ridge, over a small hill that Desi chose to capture the vast open blue sky.

We take a second to absorb the temperate climate before asking Sam the question at the center of this issue: what’s his muse?

AUDREY: I can’t go on without asking how you define MUSE. It’s the name of our issue for a reason and we want to know what grounds you, what keeps you inspired.

SAM: [Sam shrugs.] Honestly, it’s not one person. I’m inspired by artistry in general and all the mentors and teachers I’ve had up until this point. Some of the lessons that stuck out to me were the ones that were big on [dance] application, fundamentals, and concept. The ones that push to maximize what we have while trying to invent yourself.

My parents motivate me a lot– pushing me to do something they never tried and attempting to go as far as I can with it.

And there are inspirations that I’ve never connected with but I would love to one day. People like Marlee Hightower with her online platform or Kevin Paradox– I learn a lot from his approach. I can tell it takes a lot of dedication to create a brand for himself while still intertwining his teaching. It’s why I find it cool that he developed not only a style but a successful program that fundamentally bridges abstract ideas. I love being able to see what it looks like on him. Whenever I get stuck, I revisit their portfolios.

AUDREY: What about dance is never changing for you?

SAM: It feels like a home where the doors always open; it’s just a matter of time. The feeling of home never changes but your dance vocabulary expands over time, your understanding gets bigger and you feel more solid about what’s been built. As long as you don’t spend too much time away, you can continue building where you left off. Sometimes you’ll experience plateaus at the right time but I can jump back into it as long as I’m ready to go.

The accessibility of dance is permanent.

Desi expresses that he wants to get the perfect movement shot, and as he directs Sam to ambitiously run uphill, I pull Erika aside to chat about her relationship with Sam. Erika has been the Events Coordinator of the same team that Sam spent the last few years building, and their friendship is steadfast and supportive. She watches him fondly and I can tell, even briefly, that they share similar sentiments about passing the mantle onto the next generation of POP directors.

AUDREY: What makes Sam so special? Feel free to fluff up your answer. I get the sense that Sam likes to be humble.

ERIKA: [Erika smiles and laughs in agreement.] Sam loves taking initiative and constantly improves himself as a director.

He openly advised students and encouraged them to give him feedback. I’ve always admired that he takes the time to learn more about the craft so that he can offer more to students. It’s important nowadays to teach dance and history. He offers that and has a solid foundation behind his style. He is humble about it, and I appreciate that about him.

As Sam takes a breather in between shots—and trust me, a couple sprints up that hill had him soon out of breath—I take a second to think ahead of his future, one that he seems genuinely excited to be embarking on.

AUDREY: Lastly, what excites you about your future?

SAM: My goals as a choreography dancer felt pretty limited. Now that I’m freestyling more, I really don’t know what the future holds. I kinda like how scary it feels. I know that whatever time I put into it though, I’ll be able to reap its rewards. Sometimes with dance, the rewards are pretty sporadic, short-term vs. long-term rewards and all that. Those things come and go but I feel like the future holds a lot of contentment. The older I get, the more simple things become and the more important it is to prioritize what matters.

by Stillj Stilljerick lljerick

“When I think of what keeps me going in life, it is the little hints of beauty that I see in the world. It is the moments of care for those around us and it is the undying curiosity for anything we come across. My very first thought was the simple act of splitting a cookie with a friend. They could very well eat the cookie by themselves but it tastes better when it’s shared. In the same vein, life is better when it’s shared. A shared joy, a new memory, a delicious taste.”

“I could have ended it there but I realized it was unusual from my previous works and felt more like a sketch. I wanted to take the prompt more fully with my current art style. I knew I wanted a bubble. I love how iridescent they look. And it felt like the perfect metaphor for life: beautiful for a moment, and then it’s gone. So we explore, and we imagine, and we create. In life, it was the joy of painting with messy hands; it was the love in picking a flower in the field for your mom; it was the golden light coming out the window that warms your face; it is the beauty of life undeterred.”

I think about how fortunate I am to have gotten the chance to meet the loved ones that I know and have known.

How fortunate it is that I get to experience their beauty and gloriousness!

And they love me too?! “Wowza. That’s crazy!”

Celebrating my muses, my loved ones of my past present and future!

Mwah.

by shummiiee

Free Flowers

by Desi Dumalo

by Desi Dumalo

This set was taken at PACE Gallery in Palo Alto, CA. My first thought was to just practice and get whatever photos I could in the short amount of time I browsed the gallery. I originally had no intention to dive into photoshoot mode, but sometimes the best flowers are the ones you find while wandering about.

To my muse, Erika Joy -- Thank you.

by Desi Dumalo