Voices of Samaritans - April 2019 Newsletter

Helpline caller sets fundraising record Page 1

Educator transforms curriculum to teach compassion Page 2

Grief after suicide: Explained Page 3

Loss survivor devotes decades to helping others Page 4

Breakfast for Hope on May 15 Page 4

Voices of April 2019 Helpline caller sets fundraising record KYLE FREEMAN, HELPLINE CALLER

Over the years, a handful of times, I’ve called Samaritans’ Helpline when I’ve felt pain so profound that I didn’t want to burden family or friends. I’m a resourceful and privileged person with a vast network of people who care about me; so to call a crisis hotline is deeply humbling.

I don’t have an intrinsic ingratitude for life, and I absolutely don’t want my sacred life to end any sooner than it’s supposed to. My brother didn’t either. But we both happened to inherit brains, that, in the pressure cooker of deep suffering, generate suicidal thoughts, in a misguided but well-meaning effort to release pain.

But the kind, gentle voices on the other end of the line have been like nightlights for my pain, illuminating just enough for me to see that what’s left, when I’ve been stripped of so much of what used to bring me joy, is love.

What’s left is love. And love is the oxygen required for humans to survive deep suffering. Samaritans’ Helpline offers free 24/7 love for humans in despair. And sometimes that stranger’s love saves a life.

Helpline volunteers answer calls from people in distress and despair. Photo credit: Tom Fitzsimmons

Your support means

people who are anxious, isolated, desperate, or in need of a listening ear are provided comfort.

74,588 calls, texts, and chats answered

324

Crisis Services volunteers

Kyle Freeman raised more than $43,000 in December 2018 - a record amount for an individual fundraiser!

Kyle is pictured here with her brother, Jeff, who she lost to suicide. We are so thankful to Kyle for sharing her inspiring story in order to help others who are struggling.

Educator transforms curriculum to teach compassion DANIELLE PETRUCCI, WELLNESS CURRICULUM COORDINATOR HAMILTON-WENHAM REGIONAL SCHOOL DISTRICT

I began creating extension lessons, making connections to the curriculum, and collaborating with our school counselors. At Miles River Middle School, we have expanded the conversation school-wide. Once a month, each homeroom participates in an advisory lesson inspired by our relationship with Samaritans. The lesson themes are based on social-emotional skill building. The most compelling evidence proving the significance of Samaritans’ work comes directly from the students.

During a suicide prevention workshop for youth, Ms. Petrucci holds up Samaritans’ Helpline calling card. Photo credit: Danielle Petrucci

Your support means

communities are educated on suicide prevention.

17,596 people reached at workshops and awareness events

445

community workshops

58

community awareness events Page 2

Samaritans’ Community Education and Outreach team first entered my health classroom ten years ago. I cannot begin to describe how transformative and significant this visit would be for the students — and for me.

Like many individuals, I was scared to talk about suicide and depression. Even though I knew how common mental illness is, I did not know how to talk about it. The social stigma that exists with mental health issues is unspoken in society, and it was a strong barrier even for a health educator.

Our school’s administration started to have in-depth meetings and conversations with Samaritans’ educators, who travel from school to school each day providing these free suicide prevention workshops.

Soon, I learned how to get past the stigma of mental illness by providing tools to talk to my students about this epidemic in a sincere and comfortable way. I learned that talking about suicide or depression is not the problem — the problem is when we don’t talk about it.

One of my 8th grade students shared, “My best friend since birth, who struggles with depression and has attempted suicide, now keeps Samaritans’ number in her phone.”

She explained that the visit from Samaritans opened the dialogue between the two girls, making it more comfortable for them to listen and share their feelings.

Samaritans makes a sincere connection with the students. Our school counselors have shared that, after Samaritans’ visits, many students will seek out help because Samaritans opens the doors for students to feel safe expressing their feelings to a professional.

With our partnership, we have created a community of empathetic students who listen to each other, help others who are feeling stressed, are reflective on the way they are feeling, and reach out to those in need (friend or not). They give each other hope, and THAT is what a Samaritan does.

Grief after suicide: Explained JACK JORDAN, CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST AND GRIEF THERAPIST

Suicide loss survivors are left with so many “whys?” – why did they do this, why didn’t I see it coming, why didn’t I do more to stop them, why do people treat me differently now, why am I taking so long to “get over” this?

Besides this pervasive question of “why,” survivors may also struggle with powerful feelings of confusion, guilt, remorse, anger, abandonment, shame, fear of another suicide, depression, and sometimes their own feelings of wanting to be dead.

As a result of the stigma that is still associated with suicide, survivors often have difficulty finding the social support and resources they need to reconstruct their lives. This makes the mourning process after suicide more complicated than most other types of bereavement.

The journey for suicide loss survivors may be a slow and difficult one. Survivors have to meet many challenges to rebuild their lives. They have to learn to make peace with the uncertainty and confusion about why their loved one ended their life.

Survivors may have to learn new skills, managing the roller-coaster of strong emotions triggered by the death while finding a way to resume their functioning as a spouse, parent, employee, etc.

They must give themselves permission to recover in their own way and at their own pace while dealing with the expectations of others to “move on” from the loss. In the longer term, survivors must find a way to honor and cultivate positive memories of their loved one.

Finding the right kinds of support from others, whether from family, friends, employers, and/or professional caregivers such as therapists, also presents new challenges. At Samaritans, we have learned that with courage, perseverance, and good social support, survivors can survive the loss of a loved one to suicide and rebuild their lives to restore meaning, happiness, and peace of mind.

Your support means

loss survivors receive empathy from their peers.

1,124 visits to SafePlace support groups

118

participants in personal Survivor to Survivor visits

Katia’s Crew poses at the 20th Annual 5K Run/Walk for Suicide Prevention, where survivors remember their loved ones lost to suicide. Photo credit: Hilary P. Cole

Remember your loved one lost to suicide at our Annual 5K Run/Walk for Suicide Prevention on September 28!

Join us as more than 2,000 people come together to celebrate life!

Register today at samaritans5K.org

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Loss survivor devotes decades to helping others JANE QUERCIA, SAMARITANS VOLUNTEER AND FORMER BOARD MEMBER For years, I saw the sign for Samaritans’ Helpline on the Sagamore Bridge heading to Cape Cod. I always thought I would be good at volunteering on the Helpline, but life happens and that thought got put on the backburner, as it sometimes does.

Then I lost my brother Tommy to suicide in 1987. He was going through pain I can’t even begin to understand, and I didn’t have the resources to help him through his struggle. In my search to make any sense of my devastation, I decided to apply to volunteer at Samaritans to answer calls from people who were lonely, desperate, or struggling.

It’s been 30 years since I made that decision, and I’ve volunteered with Samaritans ever since. First, as a Helpline volunteer, I shifted four hours each week and did an eight-hour overnight shift each month.

Diane Seger and John Cole record a video to be featured at the Breakfast for Hope.

Page 4

After several years of answering calls, I began homeleading – advising our volunteers during higher risk calls. Several of us volunteers began facilitating SafePlace groups to meet the needs of other survivors and, years later, a handful of volunteers began home visits to survivors with the Survivor to Survivor Network.

Each time I leave a home visit and a survivor seems to have a bit of their burden lightened, I am reassured that we are doing critical work. Letting people know they have someone to walk with in their pain is so important.

The only good thing that has come out of Tommy’s death is my relationship with Samaritans. I often say to other survivors, “I’m so glad you found us, but I’m so sorry you had a reason to look.”

I can’t picture my life without the organization. It’s meant the world to me to be able to volunteer my time to help others.

Register today at samaritanshope.org/events/breakfast-for-hope