Voices of Samaritans - June 2021 Newsletter

Voices of Samaritans June 2021 Last spring, when I wrote you in our annual Voices of Samaritans newsletter, I said I was grateful. After the last year, I can confidently say that thankfulness and appreciation for our community has only grown exponentially.

In Voices, we feature the stories of the people we serve and those who support us: their experiences in their own words. In this edition, you’ll hear from J.T., an inspiring young suicide loss survivor coping with the grief of losing his dear sister, Sabrina. You’ll read the story of Carson, an energetic high schooler who is passionate about our mission and breaking the stigma around suicide. You’ll meet Dave and Kay D’Orlando, two incredibly generous supporters of Samaritans who helped us fund an important project this year.

And you’ll hear firsthand from Ravi, our devoted and enthusiastic Helpline volunteer, about the difficulties and successes of operating remotely.

It takes courage to share your story, and I want to extend my sincere thanks to our contributors. Their experiences make up the very fabric of the Samaritans community. We hope that, with this newsletter, you are able to get a picture for just how deep Samaritans’ impact is - and how grateful we are for your support.

Kathleen C. Marchi Chief Executive Officer & President

Inside this newsletter Skeptical to Attend a Support Group, J.T. Joins SafePlace After Losing His Sister, Sabrina Why I Didn’t Want to Write This Article: The Stigma Behind Mental Health Supporting Suicide Prevention When We All Need It Most Ravi Shifts to Remote Volunteering on the 24/7 Helpline During the Pandemic

Skeptical to Attend a Support Group, J.T. Joins SafePlace After Losing His Sister, Sabrina SafePlace attendee, J.T., shares his experience after losing his sister, Sabrina (pictured below), to suicide In September 2019, I lost my sister Sabrina to suicide.

Losing Sabrina wasn’t just losing my sister, it was also losing my best friend. My sister and I were incredibly close — we were 18 months apart and shared many of the same interests. We loved getting outside, learning about science, watching the same TV shows, laughing at the same jokes, and asking the same philosophical questions that bored others.

But more than our interests, we just thought in the same way, which gave an ease to being together. We were each other’s sounding boards. We bounced ideas off one another and processed our thoughts together.

When my sister took her life, a huge part of me left with her.

This was a stark contrast to my life before. I was an extrovert. I was spontaneous and happy and fulfilled.

I was wholly unprepared for handling the emotions that flooded in.

My family and friends were willing to help, but few of them knew my experience and I didn’t know how to express what I was feeling. Sabrina was my only sibling and there was no one else who knew the feeling of losing a sibling to suicide. I was lost and turned inward.

After a few months of grieving on my own, my girlfriend encouraged me to join a support group. I was skeptical at first — if I couldn’t share my thoughts with those closest to me, I doubted that a group of strangers could help. As it turned out, they could help immensely.

Joining Samaritans’ SafePlace group has been instrumental in helping me through my journey this past year.

My support group is the group of people that I wish I never knew, but am so grateful that I do. It’s the

My support group is the group of people that I wish I never knew, but am so grateful that I do. It’s the worst club to be a part of, but that I couldn’t be more thankful for.

Going through a year without my sister has been devastating. I didn’t know I had the ability to feel so broken and helpless. Despite being surrounded by so much love and support, I felt incredibly empty. The happier moments in the past year seemed like brief rays of sunshine that occasionally broke through dense clouds. It took me close to eight months before I even believed that there could be a time in the future when I’d be happy again. And still I question it.

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worst club to be a part of, but that I couldn’t be more thankful for. Getting together with them feels like seeing old friends; those people that you don’t need to explain yourself to; they just understand. On weeks when I don’t feel up for sharing, I find comfort in just listening to others’ stories.

The first time I attended SafePlace I was incredibly nervous. I cried for several minutes in the car before finding the strength to go inside. The meeting started with introductions — introducing ourselves, the loved ones we lost, and how long ago we lost them.

The facilitator who began shared that she lost her brother 33 years prior. I nearly broke down in these first seconds; I was 4 months in and it was unfathomable to me how I could survive another 33 years without my sister. At this meeting I had the most recent loss, but at other meetings I haven’t. This range of experience helps as I grapple with this understanding.

The transition to a virtual support group happened not long after I started attending the group. Again, I was hesitant. I knew how much I valued the group but feared it wouldn’t provide the same outlet I needed in a virtual setting.

It turned out to be quite the opposite.

There were some adjustments to the virtual setting, but it has also opened

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up the meeting to a wider group than the in-person sessions, which means a larger network of support.

One aspect I cherish most about Samaritans’ support group is that we are not all the same — we have different relationships to our loved ones, different times since our loss, and different experiences leading up to the loss. And most importantly (as we are reminded at every session), we all grieve differently. But despite this, our shared experience provides us with a mutual understanding to help one another. Seeing others who are years ahead of me and still don’t have it figured out reminds me that it is okay to still be grieving and that there doesn’t need to be a time when it ends.

I still have a long way to go on my (never-ending) journey, and I continue to learn from others new ways to keep my sister close to me.

I know there isn’t a return to the blissful happiness that I used to feel and that I will always carry this with me. But I’m comforted knowing that I have others who support me as I do.

Your support means loss survivors are comforted by their peers.

1,077 suicide loss survivor visits to SafePlace meetings

25 Survivor to Survivor Visit participants

27 volunteer facilitators who have lost someone to suicide

Lost Someone to Suicide?

If you’ve lost someone to suicide, you’ve likely experienced one of the most painful and devastating experiences of your life. You may be feeling a host of emotions in the wake of this loss: guilt, shock, anger, sorrow, or even relief. Although you may feel misunderstood or isolated by those around you, you are not alone in your grief journey.

We’re here to help you cope with these emotions. www.samaritanshope.org

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Why I Didn’t Want to Write This Article: The Stigma Behind Mental Health Written by Carson Domey (pictured

The sadness and utter confusion that I felt when I heard the news about my close friend is a feeling that I will never forget and hope nobody else will ever have to experience.

right), suicide prevention workshop attendee and founder of Carson’s Crew, an organization which works to make a difference in the lives of hospital patients

I wholeheartedly believe that the answer is through conversation and dialogue about mental health and wellness. We need to normalize the concept that it is okay to not be okay.

More importantly, we need to raise awareness for the countless mental health resources out there, like Samaritans.

through innovation and technology Mental health and wellness have been an issue since the beginning of time. Though we finally started talking about it as a society in the past half-century, we need to do more.

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) conducted a study that found one in every four teenagers have had suicidal thoughts since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. As a 16-year-old, that statistic sends chills up my spine. I picture a normal classroom at my high school with about 20 students and it frightens me that, according to the CDC’s findings, five of my classmates have either previously or are currently considering suicide.

At first thought, that stat doesn’t feel accurate. However, in Massachusetts, someone dies of suicide every 12 hours — two every day, 14 every week, approximately 740 every year (Centers for Disease Control, 2018). Suicide is the second leading cause of death for people ages 10-34 in Massachusetts, just behind accidents (Centers for Disease Control, 2018).

Nonetheless, suicide is not a problem unique to Massachusetts or

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the United States. In Japan, during November of 2020, more people died from suicide in that month alone than every individual who passed due to COVID-19 in their country the whole year (National Police Agency of Japan, 2020).

We can all agree that suicide is a problem, but rarely is it put into clear perspective until it hits close to home. In December of 2018, I lost

a close friend to suicide. This was a complete shock to our friend group as this was one of the happiest kids I knew. Sadly, this is the same story that is left behind following so many suicides.

Unlike physical health, it is difficult to know exactly what is going on in someone’s head, which subsequently initiates the question of “how do we help?”

I picture a normal classroom at my high school with about 20 students and it frightens me that, according to the CDC’s findings, five of my classmates have either previously or are currently considering suicide.

Voices of Samaritans 2021

Engaging in conversations about mental health are crucial because it shows that there is plenty of help available. We also never know who may need them. In addition to attending a number of Samaritans’ webinars, I recently worked with their Community Education and Outreach team to coordinate a suicide prevention workshop, cohosted by my organization Carson’s Crew to help break this stigma and encourage conversation.

It doesn’t stop there on how we can get involved. For instance, in September 2019, I led a successful initiative at my high school to have the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline phone number on the back of student identification cards. At the beginning of the year, not only did students have a 24/7 resource in their pocket, but I noticed that mental health was brought to the forefront of conversation in the classroom and on campus. We

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were able to generate awareness and conversation through a costeffective idea before it hit close to home.

The sadness and utter confusion that I felt when I heard the news about my close friend is a feeling that I will never forget and hope nobody else will ever have to experience. Whether I like to admit it or not, these emotions are similarly unleashed for me when talking about mental health and even writing this. But these experiences have motivated me to work toward ensuring that nobody has to suffer like my friend did, leaving their friends, family, and so many others looking for answers.

I may not have wanted to write this article, but the consequences of not addressing and working to end the stigma behind mental health are far worse. With that said, I strongly urge you to learn about suicide and mental health through the educational workshops and virtual webinars Samaritans offers, and I encourage you to have conversations with your friends and family about how we can best support each other through these difficult times. Learn more about Samaritans’ suicide prevention workshops by visiting samaritanshope.org.

Your support means communities are educated on suicide prevention.

18,187 people reached at workshops and awareness events

489 community workshops

Join us for our annual 5K Run/Walk for Suicide Prevention!

September 25, 2021 samaritans5K.org Voices of Samaritans 2021

Supporting Suicide Prevention When We All Need It Most Written by David and Kay D’Orlando,

During the COVID-19 pandemic, we read of the increased instances of loneliness, depression, and suicidal thoughts, especially among young people.

Life Saving Society members (pictured right) I remember seeing Samaritans’ billboards on the Mass Pike on my way home from college in the 70s.

Back then, I was only vaguely aware of its suicide prevention mission. I was acquainted with three students who died by suicide while I was attending Cornell University, but did not have much exposure to suicide after college.

In recent years, my wife Kay and I came to know Samaritans through a friend, Steve Mongeau, who was then the Chair of the Board of Directors, and later the Executive Director of Samaritans. Steve invited us to the Breakfast for Hope along with other close friends from college.

The program opened our eyes and our hearts to those who had taken their own lives and to those who were left behind.

Collective concern was shared by our group and we wanted to support Steve and his family and friends. It was great to be a part of this successful cadre of former “knucklehead” college buds who were sticking together thirty years later and doing some good together.

A light breakfast and meaningful presentations had taken the place of beer and Grateful Dead concerts.

The group had made the leap to sharing deeply personal concerns in adulthood.

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extra support. This, in turn, brought us closer to Samaritans’ leadership.

In meaningful discussions with Kathy Marchi, Chief Executive Officer and President, and Janet Lawn, Chief Development Officer, we learned of other needs at Samaritans. Kay and I like to give toward specialty projects that fall outside the regular nonprofit charitable operating costs. We know that these projects are often imperative, yet unattainable when they become “budget busters.”

We were shocked to witness how many people’s lives have been impacted by suicide, and we reflected on our own experiences.

Kay and I had felt deeply for the loss of a wonderful young woman at our church and a cousin’s young nephew who had taken their lives; one of our daughter’s soccer friends attempted suicide at school. These all hit close to home, and we had now found an organization that was doing something about it.

Samaritans achieves quantifiable results largely through the selfless

efforts of volunteers. This convinced us that it was worth supporting financially. Typically, our charitable giving is focused on helping people improve their situations, which is so well done by Samaritans.

During COVID, we have focused on making “online access projects” attainable with the charities that we regularly support. For example, one need was video livestreaming access to church services; another,

Americans are some of the most charitable people in the world. It is important for us all to regularly support meaningful nonprofit operations. We urge others to periodically amplify their giving and help Samaritans with structural needs that achieve greater success in reducing the tragedy of a beautiful life lost.

80,425 calls, texts, and chats answered from people who are struggling

300+ Helpline volunteers

29,446 hours volunteered on our 24/7 Helpline

With the support of the D’Orlando family, we were

During the COVID-19 pandemic, we read of the increased instances of loneliness, depression, and suicidal thoughts, especially among young people. When we learned from Steve, who had now retired, that the demand for Samaritans’ Helpline went up 20-30%, we knew we had to ramp up our giving this year with

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facilitating online access for students at a Dorchester afterschool program.

Kathy and Janet told us about the need for Samaritans’ website redesign and the particular need for online access for people with varying disabilities. We were very pleased to provide the funding to complete the project. (See more below about the initiative.)

Your support means people who are in need of a listening ear are befriended.

excited to unveil our new website (pictured left) earlier this year, which we are proud to announce is ADA-accessible! A big thank you to Bytes.co and Accessible Web out of Burlington, VT for their management of this project!

We welcome you to take a look around: www.samaritanshope.org

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Ravi Shifts to Remote Volunteering on the 24/7 Helpline During the Pandemic Written by our inspiring Helpline volunteer, Ravi (pictured right) Over a year ago, the lives of all Americans were abruptly interrupted when the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a pandemic and the United States declared a national emergency. In just a matter of days, the daily routines of most Americans were completely upended. Plans for the upcoming weeks and year gave way to mountains of questions and the fear that even so much as seeing your loved ones could present a risk to them, as well as you.

I will always remember that week in March of 2020 when I was sent home from college. Thinking about the uncertainty of school, of losing contact with all my friends, of not knowing if or when I would be able to see my grandparents again.

Eventually, the new normalcy set in and later that month I continued shifting for Samaritans’ 24/7 Helpline, now taking calls and texts remotely.

I was quite nervous when I first started remotely. Samaritans’ staff trained me, but it felt odd at first taking texts and calls from my childhood bedroom, down the hall from the rest of my family.

There was also a missing sense of camaraderie from shifting with my fellow volunteers. It might sound counterintuitive since the calls are just one-on-one, but there is a team spirit in volunteering and we benefit from each other’s experiences. That community is difficult to replace.

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However, there is comfort in setting up your own space at home, similar to the call room, and spending time there reading or relaxing in between calls, be it early in the morning or late at night. I also found from doing all my overnights remotely last spring, a short nap before followed by some tea or coffee was the best way to keep me alert throughout the night.

Since moving to remote volunteering, I have also started to take more texts from people contacting the 24/7 Helpline. Learning how to take texts is often difficult initially, since people can interpret ambiguities differently, which can lead to the meaning getting lost in translation. As a result, it is important to be very purposeful in your word choice. However, texts are a useful channel since they let us access a new population of people who may not feel comfortable talking on the phone or are not able to call someone at the moment.

The calls are the main reason why volunteering for Samaritans, even remotely, is rewarding. By being present and listening, you offer an outlet for people who may not have anyone else to turn to. In these difficult times, you may well be a lifeline to someone hurting or in need. It is not uncommon to be genuinely moved by calls after you get off the phone.

No two shifts are the same, with people calling about anything from mental health difficulties, to a sudden death, to relationship problems.

Things have also changed since last March with people locked down

and isolated. Often, callers don’t relate their situation to the pandemic directly, but indirectly, since it can exacerbate existing stressors and present new challenges.

The months have really added up – it is surreal to think that the majority of my time at Samaritans has now been done remotely. It was a tricky transition at first, but I think Samaritans and all of the volunteers can be very proud of how they were able to adapt to the situation and continue to offer a much-needed service.

I am grateful that I was a part of this transition and had the opportunity to support my community during one of the most difficult periods in recent memory. I hope the challenges of the pandemic will soon be behind us, but there will always be a need for Samaritans. I look forward to continuing to serve and reuniting with my fellow volunteers in person when the time is right.

Voices of Samaritans 2021