TOI Magazine October 2018 Issue Number 12

M A G A Z I N E

OCTOBER 2018 • ISSUE 12

A VEGAN FALL!!

VEGAN GAINS??

Desserts and Hearty Dishes Perfect for the Autumn Season when you're a Vegan

According to Ronald Penn, vegans can gain some MASSIVE muscle

ETHICAL FASHION ...WHY?

SCHIZOPHRENIA The world has its theory on how people with Schizophrenia act, but has anyone ever asked someone with Schizophrenia? We did.

www.boutiqueoftoi.com

TOPICS Vegan Fall Dishes and Desserts Ethical Fashion...Why? Vegan Bodybuilding with Ronnie Dr.Danielle McCarthy with the Psychology behind Schizophrenia Schizophrenia Itself

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare[b] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

12 Then

you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV TEAM: EDITOR-IN-CHIEF : AUTUMN FARR CREATIVE DIRECTOR: TENISHA FARR GRAPHIC DESIGN: AUTUMN FARR LAUREN KULP CONTACT: WWW.BOUTIQUEOFTOI.COM (415)689-9465 SERVICES@BOUTIQUEOFTOI.COM SOCIAL MEDIA: @BOUTIQUEOFTOI TAG US IN YOUR INSTAGRAM POST ON OUR PRINT MAGAZINE FOR A DISCOUNT ON YOUR NEXT MAGAZINE PURCHASE!

five

VEGAN DISHES for

Fall

CAULIFLOWER AND SQUASH SOUP BY

@theplantifulchef

HELEN MARLEY Trained Chef and qualified teacher of social sciences WWW.THEPLANTIFULCHEF.COM HER E-BOOK IS COMING THIS CHRISTMAS!!! STAY TUNED ON HER IG!

1 SMALL BUTTERNUT SQUASH 1 SMALL CAULIFLOWER (FLORETS

(ROUGHLY CHOPPED SKIN OFF)

AND LEAVES ROUGHLY CHOPPED)

1 WHITE ONION 1 LARGE CELERY STICK

2 CLOVES OF GARLIC 1 CAN OF COCONUT MILK SALT AND PEPPER TO SEASON 1TBS OLIVE OIL

3 CUPS OF VEGGIE STOCK

OPTIONAL: 1TBS MILD CURRY POWDER 2TSP TURMERIC

First off wash and dry the seeds from the squash place on greaseproof paper with a drizzle of oil for around 20 minutes at 180fan until crunchy keep checking them. Next get your pan over medium heat and add in the onion, celery and garlic let them fry for a few minutes then add in the squash. Let this brown off in the pan this adds lots of flavour to the soup. Then go in with the cauliflower and stock and coconut milk you want to hopefully cover all the vegetables with this. Bring to the boil then leave to simmer for 20 minutes until everything is cooked through till its soft. Blend until smooth add salt and pepper to taste. If you want to add the curry and turmeric now is the time to do so, stir into the soup while its still on the heat. Serve with swirls of soy cream and sprinkles of crunchy seeds.

I hope you enjoyed this recipe if you do decide to make it be sure to tag me on Instagram with your recreations. Speak soon Helen xx

Serves: 6 large bowls Serving size: 1 bowl, of 6 Calories: 469 Fat: 7g Saturated fat: 2.6g Carbohydrates: 82.7g Sugar: 14.4g Sodium: 1284mg Fiber: 21.1g Protein: 21.7g Cholesterol: 0mg

Southwest

3 BEAN CHILI A recipe by Ella Moyer, Founder of

@thelocalsprout "I am a graphic designer, professional photographer, and digital marketing guru. I graduated college in 2017 and have since working in the digital marketing/ creative space since.

My food blog began around a year ago and has since transformed into a "side hustle" for me."

ingredients 1 TBSP. COCONUT OIL

½

MEDIUM YELLOW ONION, DICED

2 GARLIC CLOVES, MINCED 2 LARGE CARROTS, SLICED 2 CELERY STALKS, SLICED 2 MEDIUM-SIZED SWEET POTATOES, CUBED 2 TSP SEA SALT 1 TSP BLACK PEPPER 2 TBSP. CHILI POWDER 1 TBSP. GROUND CUMIN 2 TSP CINNAMON 2 TSP GARLIC POWDER 2 TSP SMOKED PAPRIKA 2

½

CUP VEGETABLE BROTH

1 15-OUNCE CAN CHICKPEAS 1 15-OUNCE CAN PINTO BEANS 1 15-OUNCE CAN CANNELLINI BEANS 1 15-OUNCE CAN DICED TOMATOES 1 CUP CORN KERNELS (FROZEN AND THAWED OR CANNED AND DRAINED)

¼

CUP TOMATO PASTE

2 TBSP. MAPLE SYRUP (OR SUB HONEY) 1 TBSP. CHIPOTLE HOT SAUCE (OPTIONAL)

directions IN A LARGE POT OVER MEDIUM HEAT, MELT COCONUT OIL. ADD IN ONION AND GARLIC. COOK FOR 5 MINUTES OR UNTIL ONION IS TRANSLUCENT AND SLIGHTLY GOLDEN. ADD IN CARROT, CELERY, SWEET POTATOES, SALT, PEPPER, CHILI POWDER, CUMIN, CINNAMON, GARLIC, AND PAPRIKA. STIR UNTIL VEGGIES ARE COATED. COOK FOR 5 MINUTE OR UNTIL VERY FRAGRANT. ADD THE VEGETABLE BROTH, CHICKPEAS, PINTO BEANS, CANNELLINI BEANS, TOMATOES, CORN, TOMATO PASTE, MAPLE SYRUP, AND OPTIONAL HOT SAUCE. BRING THE MIXTURE TO A BOIL THEN IMMEDIATELY REDUCE TO A SIMMER AND COVER WITH LID. SIMMER FOR ABOUT 30-40 MINUTES OR UNTIL SOUP IS THICK AND SWEET POTATOES ARE FORK-TENDER. SERVE WARM WITH OPTIONAL TOPPINGS. LEFTOVERS WILL KEEP IN AIRTIGHT CONTAINER FOR UP TO 5 DAYS IN REFRIGERATOR OR UP TO A MONTH IN FREEZER.

Heart Veggie Noodle Soup

By Devorah of TheYummyVeganBlog.com @theyummyvegan

" I have recently become a certified Holistic Nutritionist and also have a BA in Psychology and MFA in Photography both from Florida International University in Miami, FL. I have spent many years working as a Fine Art and Event Photographer and have recently focused my longtime passion for Vegan Food and Healthy Living into a new career."

> 3 Ribs of Celery > 1 Small Onion > 2 Large Carrots > 2 cloves of Garlic > Cup of Sliced Mushrooms > Can of Diced Tomatoes > 1/3 cup Frozen or Fresh Peas > 2 Small Red or Golden Potatoes > Can of Kidney Beans > Can of Garbanzo Beans > 1 1/4 cups cooked Pasta (any short style will work) > 2 Tbsp of Tomato Paste > 5 cups of water > 2 tsp of Fresh or Dried Dill > 1 tsp of Fresh or Dried Thyme > 2 Bay Leaves > Salt & Pepper to taste > Optional: 1 -2 Tbsp of Liquid Aminos or Low Sodium Soy Sauce

1. On medium heat, sauté the Onion, Garlic, Celery, Mushrooms and Carrots along with the Herbs with a little bit of water until Onions are translucent (about 10 minutes) 2. Add in the Potatoes, Beans, Tomato Paste and Diced Tomatoes and continue to simmer for about 15 minutes on medium low heat.

3. Cover mixture with water and check for seasoning. Adjust with Salt, Pepper and more Herbs if necessary and let simmer for about 20 minutes or until potatoes and carrots are tender.

4. Add in the peas and cooked pasta and continue to cook for another 10 minutes before serving.

Issue 27 | 234

KAT

THE POP-UP BAKER LONDON

K

Chocolate and Berry VEGAN MACAROONS

TIME:2.5 HOURS PLUS 30 MINS THE NIGHT BEFORE MAKES: APPROX. 30 MACAROON

INGREDIENTS

For the Macaron Shell Sieved Juice from 1 can of Chickpeas 140g Ground Almonds 140g Icing Sugar 100g Granulated sugar 40g Water 20g Caster sugar For the Ganache 100g Soy cream (I used Alpro) 120g Dairy Free Chocolate.

For the Berry Gel 125g Berries 60g Granulated sugar 2g Agar agar Fresh Berries for serving

Method Open a can of chickpeas and pass the liqud through a sieve directly into a small/medium pan. Ensure you weigh out the total liquid and keep a note of this. You can discard the chickpeas, or even better, make something for dinner with them!

Place the pan of chickpea water on a medium heat and bring to the boil. Gently simmer for around 5-7 minutes (could be less, could be more). The aim of this simmering is to reduce the liquid down and therefore increase the concentration of proteins in the liquid. The proteins are what cause the egg like magic! I keep a bowl on the weighing scales and periodically check the weight of the liquid. The aim is to reduce the total weight down by 35% so for 170g of liquid this would mean boiling until you have 110g of liquid remaining.

Place the liquid in a tupperware box and store in the fridge overnight.

Weight out 2 lots of 50g of the chickpea water into separate mixing bowls. in one of the bowls of chickpea water, sieve 140g ground almonds and 140g icing sugar. Mix together thoroughly to make a paste, ensuring no big clumps remain in the mixture. It will be pretty stiff to mix, so I tend to use a metal spoon and put my back into it! At this stage you can add some gel colouring if wanting a splash of colour. I added a touch of black to give a bit of silver touch.

Now to prepare the meringue half of the mixture. Whisk the remaining 50g of chickpea water in a bowl until it turns quite white and frothy. To this add 20g of caster sugar and continue to whisk for a few minutes till well combined and it has a white appearance.

In a pan place the 100g granulated sugar and 40g water. Heat on a medium heat until all sugar is dissolved. If you have a thermometer (I recommend you get one) then take off the heat once the liquid has reached 118oC. You need to work quite quickly at this stage as the sugar cools quite quickly and will lose its pouring consistency.

Pour the sugar in a steady stream into the bowl whilst whisking. Keep whisking till cooled and a meringue type mixture has been achieved. I found that my meringue was a little on the loose side. You will find that a lot longer whipping time is required in comparison to egg based meringue. Mine took about 10-15 mins.

Once prepared, place half the meringue mixture into the almond mixture and mix in. Then add the second half until fully incorporated and no lumps remain. Don’t worry about being overly gentle at this stage as you want the mix to be a good pipeable consistency so that when you pipe your shells it’s not too thick. You want it to lightly hold its shape when piped then slightly flatten during the drying out phase.

Fill a piping bag fitted with a medium sized round nozzle. Pipe 5cm rounds onto baking paper or a sillicone matt placed on a baking tray. You can use a guide if you want, but I just do it by hand and eye. Make sure you leave a gap between each round, so that they don’t spread and touch during drying and baking.

Tap the baking tray on the counter firmly to help disperse and air bubbles (these air bubbles are often what cause the shells to crack during baking.) Leave the shells to dry out on the worktop until they are tacky to touch (30 mins to an hour). I like to check every 10 mins to see if I can see any air bubbles rising to the top. I use a tooth pick to pop these and wiggle it around a little to ensure no gaps in the mixture. Be gentle with this. Whilst waiting you can preheat the oven to 150oC (140 fan oven) Place the macarons in the middle of the oven and bake for 15-20 mins (check after 15 mins by lightly moving from side to side. If it easily moves side to side then leave for a couple more minutes and check again. Each oven behaves slightly differently, so use the first batch to check timings etc. If the macarons look like they are browning then slightly turn down the temperature.

Leave the macarons to cool on the matt/baking paper then peal off and store in an airtight container before filling.

The Ganache Place the soya cream in a bowl over a pan with a few inches of water. Ensure that the water is not touching the bowl and ensure that no water gets into the mixture. Stir until heated through then add half the chunks of chocolate and mix. Take the bowl off the heat and continue mixing in the rest of the chocolate until fully dissolved. You don’t want to overheat the chocolate, just make sure it is warm enough to be lovely and melted, smooth and silky.

Leave on the side to cool down to a piping consistency. You can place in the fridge a bit to help speed this up. If you overcool it and it becomes solid again (whoops!) no worries just pop in the microwave, checking after 10 seconds.

Berry Gel Blitz the berries in a food processor and set asside In a separate pan combine the agar agar and sugar, then add the berries and 1/2 tablespoon of water. Mix together till well incorporated then place on a medium heat Once the sugar has dissolved simmer for a few mins until all is combined. Whisk during this time, being careful not to burn yourself place the liquid through a sieve over a bowl using a spoon to help mash any bigger pieces of fruit.

Place on the side to cool (for about an hour). When firm, use a food processor or hand blender to blend mixture back to a liquid.

Fill a piping bag, and you are ready to use. This is a good texture for macarons as its not too wet, and doesn’t run away from the macarons when trying to pipe.

Assembly Pair up the shells by size On one side pipe blobs of ganache, and wedge a small piece of berry alternating. Place some gel in the centre and/or on top. If you aren’t eating straight away, I suggest you omit the fresh berries as this can make things soggy. The gel is perfect for piping design on top of your macarons

Store in an airtight container in the fridge and bring to room temperature for serving.

Vegan Mocha Cake B Y

M A T T

G R A H A M

@hebakes79 heBakes.co.uk

"My name is Matt Graham and I am the owner and creator of heBakes – ‘sweet treats of deliciousness’. A home baking and catering business which I run from my business kitchen in Chesham, Buckinghamshire, England .I am a self-taught baker, foodie, lover of cakes, bakes and sweet delights.

Previously I was a London Police Officer for 14 years but after a life changing event and the drive to follow my passion, I changed careers a year ago and have never looked back!"

Ingredients Cake: 300g Self Raising Flour (or gluten free flour with ½ tsp of Xantham Gum) 30g Custard Powder ¼ tsp Salt 1 Tsp Bicarbonate of Soda 110g Caster Sugar 200ml Almond or Soya Milk 140ml Vegetable Oil 30g Golden Syrup 2 tsp Instant Coffee dissolved in a little dairy free milk Icing: 100g Vegan Margarine 250g Icing Sugar 2 tsp Instant Coffee dissolved in 2 tbsp Dairy free milk.

1 tsp Vanilla Bean paste 100g Dark Vegan Chocolate cut into shards

Method You will need 2 x 8 inch sandwich tins that have been greased.

Preheat the oven to 165 degrees fan oven Sift the dry ingredients into a bowl and mix in the sugar.

In a mixing jug combine the oil, milk of choice, golden syrup and coffee.

Add the wet ingredients into the dry a little at a time. The mixture will be quite thick but don’t worry.

Divide between the 2 pans and bake in the over for 20-25 minutes until risen and firm to the touch.

Allow to cool in the pan for 10-15 minutes before transferring to a cooling rack To make the icing combine the margarine, icing sugar, vanilla and coffee in milk. Beat until it forms a still mixture but still soft enough to spread. Add more milk if required.

When completely cooled, spread half the icing onto one of the cakes. Place the second sponge on top and spread the remaining icing over the top. The thicker the better!! This is a cake after all! Liberally place the chocolate shards on to the top of the cake.

Enjoy!

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WHY DO YOU CHOOSE ETHICAL FASHION?

"I BE AFT GAN L IV ER THE WATC ING A C N O HIN ON PEO N, I ST G THE SCIOU P S LI A TRU RT FAS LE AN HIO D TH ED SUP E COST FESTYL N PO E E D P , SHO URPOSE AND C PLANE RTING OCUME BACK I N 20 OM BRA T. I PAH NTA H A B N H S 1 OLI C DA CHAN INING I AVE A DS THA RY. FRO 5 T L INTO YS ARE GED MY WITH WAYS T VALU M A M LO E AL LI THE MIN SO LO FE IMM EANIN VED N I E M G N G -JEL F A LA J LIST L GONE SELY. M UL IFES ORN AS I Y TYL ALE JOU E." S RNE Y

LSO LE A INAB S AND A T S SU RIC EING ING FAB CREATE ME, B US O "FOR NS THIS: ERIALS T E BUYING ALL LOV PORT SM E MAT MEA W. I AGE VINT HING NE S TO SUP ESSES LIK A ET N CT SOM E PRODU ALL BUSI YS BEEN G AD SM WA SSIN M L E D D A R N N P S A Y X HA G HA ANS ND E S WH ARTIS . CLOTHIN ESSING A WHICH I E , R L E Y P B N T I I X I S E L M A A F AR A IN FE NS O RSON MEA OWN PE BELIEVE N WE WE ELLS T Y E 'S R L H E E G ON ON LATT USE W , THE I STR BECA UCT, THE EATED IT HAS N O I D R T H O C A S R H P A O T F H DE TIME OF W NT, DMA HAN E STORY OVE AND MMITME AS H O L H T C E T A US TH HE ABLE US, T DY TH ION, PASS DICATED AND STU . SUSTAIN ENT M N M R DE O A A DRE A G S CATI D E D I D I N H I S U S W E A R U S , I T 'S A S TE W R S S A O E E L F K V F A Y E IN L M CIAL ION LITTL FASH TED ESPE ND HAS A A E ."

S R .

U C S US UE A LIKE LLEGARO UNIQ IA CA L U I -G

Instagram: @jellajornales www.jellajornales.com " I am an ethical fashion and conscious lifestyle blogger who is passionate about minimalism, sustainability, social justice, and personal growth. I am currently the Managing Director of Asurio Pinafico, an ethical fashion house based in the Philippines. I also volunteer for Fashion Revolution Philippines. As an advocate, speaker, and philanthropist, I plan to keep spreading the word about sustainable living and ethical fashion."

Photographed By:@portraitsbymon

Instagram: @what.clair.wears www.theethicalquestion.com

Instagram: @abricot_atelier FIND HER ON ETSY & PURCHASE HER HANDMADE CLOTHING FROM ITALY Abricot Atelier

BRIJA

B R I J A C O S M E T I C S . C O M

VEGAN

100% HANDCRAFTED

BRIANA KING

Founder of Brija Cosmetics

I started using nontoxic "green beauty" products when I was sixteen.

It started with skincare and naturally evolved into indie beauty handcrafted makeup. Most of what I was buying was of a certain theme - movies, tv shows, fun themes that I related to. I created Brija to share my inspiration and loves with the community but knew I wanted everything to be vegan, gluten, soy, and dye free.

People can trust that everything from Brija has these standards.

There aren't many small mineral makeup companies that are completely vegan, gluten, soy, and dye free.

Affordable. Everything is under $20 but still great quality.

Many of our collections are themed - Harry Potter, Stranger Things, Mean Girls, Rick and Morty, Titanic, to name a few.

Fun products that can be whatever you're craving at the moment fun, bold looks, or simple, one shadow looks.

DYE FREE

GLUTEN FREE

SOY FREE

COSMETICS

ABOUT RONNIE I'm currently in the U.S. Coast Guard as a Chef. I cook for 80 people on a ship.

My passion is Fitness. I weightlift and do cardio training 6 days a week. I've been training for 15 years.

I was born in a small town Pittston, Pennsylvania. Just right outside of Scranton, Pennsylvania (The Office).

@ronronn3

Throughout the day I consume a lot of vegetables. A lot of rice and beans. in between my meals I snack on fruits and nuts mostly almonds. But when I do eat I eat a lot. I hope about 4 to 5 meals a day with the almonds and fruits in between and protein shakes.

How often do you workout? What do you eat before and/or after a workout?

VEGAN BODYBUILDING Oh boy, I went vegan for so many reasons. But mostly it was for my own health and to learn as much as I can to help others. I was doing my second men's physique bodybuilding show and I started having health issues which I believe was related to my conditioning and preparation for the shows. I think it was because my nutrition was off and all the supplements I was taking. ( Protein, pre-workout, fat burners, weight gainers etc.)

I started having life threatening issues and was in and out of the hospital a half a dozen times. The doctors couldn't figure out what was going on even with all the blood work. So I started researching on my own. And in my studies I learned that the best way to get your body back on track was to be on a plant-based diet. So I decided to go cold turkey from eating meat straight to vegan. Another reason that really pushed me to go in the plant-based vegan Direction was the people in my life close to me that we're getting cancer. In the beginning of my plant-based lifestyle A co-worker, a good friend, my aunt and my grandfather received information that they had cancer. They're all different ages between 25 -80. So as I was going through my beginning phase I started researching on how so many people these days are dying of cancer like the common cold. I've watched a lot of documentaries and read articles and it basically came down to eating plants and vegetables.so with all of this going on it really excited me and motivated me to pursue it fully.

During your transition into veganism, were you afraid of being able to still hold muscle mass?

At first yes I've spent a lot of years building up my physique and adding muscle to the point I got up to 250 pounds. But when I decided to do men's physique I cut down to 190 lb. So when I started to do the transition I was kind of bothered by it but at the same time I figured well if I lose my size and I'm healthy then I'm okay with that because I can just start fresh. But like I said, I went cold turkey right into it because this was my life and I needed to save it. I'm sure my eight years in the Marine Corps with a disciplined mind set helped me be able to just go right into it. But it was all worth it!

What do you consume to keep your muscle mass? Do you use any supplements?

The only supplements I use are multivitamins and plant protein.

Right now I work out about 6 days a week. Five of those days are weight training and 5 of those days are cardio. I believe in consistency when it comes to eating. I eat the same exact meal every breakfast. I eat a bowl of oatmeal with a banana and a fruit protein smoothie. And after workout I eat rice bowl with beans , vegetables ,spinach, broccoli and mushrooms. High volumes of protein. topic!!

So before going vegan I was against it. I talked down about it & I never thought I would do it. I thought it was just a fad. But after all my research and reasonings I figured don't knock it until you try it. And one of the hardest things to explain to people who are thinking about it or are curious about it is the change your body goes through physically mentally and emotionally. After the third week I completely felt my body change. It was like this whole feeling all over my body which is really hard to explain. My sleep was just amazing, I had this Natural Energy that I haven't felt in years, certain pain in joints and flexibility became better. My thinking became more clear and crisp and I don't remember the last time I had a headache. They just end up having this emotional connection with you your mind and your body which just feels amazing. I went in to see the doctor to have a follow-up blood work check before I went vegan and all my results came back totally different. He asked me what I did or what I was doing. I told him that I went plantbased because it was the only thing that made sense to try. At this time he told me he actually did plant-based studies on the side and he believes in it as well and that made me feel so amazing. So now a little over two years later my body is still getting better everyday I'm pushing the limits and feeling and looking younger. I'm getting more attention and curious people wanting to learn about what I'm doing. And that's what I love the most is helping everyone else because now that I know what it did for me if I can spread that knowledge to others. We could all live healthier and longer together.

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NO MENTAL ILLNESS SHOULD DEFINE SOMEONE. WE SHOULD NOT SEE SOMEONE AS THEIR MENTAL ILLNESS, BUT JUST AS ANOTHER PERSON TO LOVE. Mental Health: Schizophrenia

DR.

DANIELLE

Schizophrenia is a disorder that affects how an individual thinks, feels, and perceives the world around them. Symptoms include hallucinations (auditory and/or visual), delusions, disorganised speech or behaviour, as well as other symptoms that interfere with social or occupational functioning.

Previously, it was recognised that there were different subtypes of schizophrenia (e.g., paranoid, catatonic). However, the different subtypes changed to all fall under the heading of ‘schizophrenia’ when the new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5th edition (DSM-V) was released.

Schizoaffective disorder involves an individual having mood disorders (e.g., depression or mania) for the majority of the time that they have had the psychotic symptoms of schizophrenia (i.e., hallucinations, delusions, or disorganised speech or behaviour).

Psychosis affects the way an individual interprets the world and typically involves symptoms that affect thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and behaviour.

Symptoms of psychosis include: hallucinations, delusions, confused thinking, changed feelings and behaviour. Psychosis is not exclusive to schizophrenia. It can occur as the result of substance-use, a major stressor in someone's life, bipolar disorder, severe depression, or schizophrenia.

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts that an individual can not shake. They can become obsessional to the individual, and can be very distressing. Intrusive thoughts are most commonly experienced by individuals with ObsessiveCompulsive Disorder (OCD), however, it is possible for individuals with schizophrenia to also experience intrusive thoughts.

Even if an individual is taking medication to assist with intrusive thoughts, there is still evidence-based treatment available to assist. This can include Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) which focuses on helping the individual understand the effect of their thoughts on their behaviour. It then helps the individual alter the way in which they think and react to a situation. Alternatively, there Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can assist with intrusive thoughts. ACT does this not by eliminating intrusive thoughts, but instead, by teaching the individual strategies to recognise their thoughts and to accept them for what they are...just thoughts...mental activity. It teaches an individual how to get some space from these thoughts and essentially turn the volume down on them.

The DSM-V outlines the following criteria for a diagnosis of schizophrenia to be made: 1. Two or more of the following for at least a onemonth (or longer) period of time. At least one of them must be 1, 2, or 3: 1. Delusions 2. Hallucinations 3. Disorganized speech 4. Grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior 5. Negative symptoms, such as diminished emotional expression 2. Impairment in one of the major areas of functioning for a significant period of time since the onset of the disturbance: Work, interpersonal relations, or self-care.

3. Some signs of the disorder must last for a continuous period of at least 6 months. This sixmonth period must include at least one month of symptoms (or less if treated) that meet criterion 1 (active phase symptoms) and may include periods of residual symptoms. During residual periods, only negative symptoms may be present.

4. Schizoaffective disorder and bipolar or depressive disorder with psychotic features have been ruled out: ● No major depressive or manic episodes occurred concurrently with active phase symptoms ● If mood episodes (depressive or manic) have occurred during active phase symptoms, they have been present for a minority of the total duration of the active and residual phases of the illness.

5. The disturbance is not caused by the effects of a substance or another medical condition.

6. If there is a history of autism spectrum disorder or a communication disorder (childhood onset), the diagnosis of schizophrenia is only made if prominent delusions or hallucinations, along with other symptoms, are present for at least one month.

Associated Features There are a number of symptoms that contribute to a diagnosis of schizophrenia. ● Inappropriate affect (laughing in the absence of a stimulus) ● Disturbed sleep pattern ● Dysphoric mood (can be depression, anxiety, or anger) ● Anxiety and phobias ● Depersonalization (detachment or feeling of disconnect from self) ● Derealization (a feeling that surrounding aren’t real) ● Cognitive deficits impacting language, processing, executive function, and/or memory ● Lack of insight into disorder ● Social cognition deficits ● Hostility and aggression

If you suspect a family member or friend has schizophrenia, the best thing you can do is check in with them. Do this in an inquisitive/curious way, as opposed to accusatory. Doing this may help them to see that something is not quite right. If a person is experiencing bizarre delusions (e.g., a man believing he is pregnant) it will do little good to disagree with them. Be curious and ask them about it. Show interest rather than shutting them down.

See if by doing this you can get them to engage with a mental health professional to get a diagnosis and appropriate treatment. It is important to recognise that part of the illness (i.e. what it does to the brain) can make it difficult for the individual to understand that there is something wrong. If you are concerned about their safety (either to themself or someone else), you should contact the police.

A common misconception of individuals with schizophrenia is that they are dangerous and violent. In actual fact, only a very small percentage of people with schizophrenia end up hurting another person. When this occurs, it usually comes about as the result of their paranoid hallucinations or delusions. When they hurt someone it is typically in an attempt to protect themselves from the perceived danger they are in as a result of their symptoms (e.g., demons trying to get them).

Individuals with schizophrenia are more likely to hurt themselves than others.

MindPotentialPsychology

@dr.daniellemccarthy DanielleMPsych MindPotentialPsychology

Check out her podcast on her Instagram!! www.mppsych.com.au

RENEE'S POINT OF VIEW

By Renee Cruise @schizophrenia.support

I am a Registered Nurse whose hobbies include going for walks, travelling, and exercising. My passions include helping others through the field of nursing but after my diagnosis of schizophrenia I discovered my passion for helping other people with the illness. I’m trying my best to open up because I want to raise awareness on mental illness and I hope to reach others with similar struggles. By sharing my story I hope that people will open their eyes and their hearts to the reality of mental illness. I hope that people will start to understand the pain and suffering that is inflicted on not only the family but also the person suffering from the illness. It is real, and it is completely heart breaking to watch someone you love fall victim to his or her own mind. We are all human and we are all vulnerable to mental illness. Together we can break the stigma.

The first step is to start understanding and accepting the people who suffer from schizophrenia.

T

The first episode happened in September 2016. It was 20 years since my fathers death and approaching the date of his birthday. This time of year I’m usually triggered by

thoughts of him and it has subsequently triggered an episode of psychosis the last two years as well. I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I was thirteen. My anxiety and depression became the most severe during the prodromal phase of schizophrenia. I have recovered from anorexia nervosa. I started showing symptoms at age 13 and recovered by my early twenties.

MY STORY My journey with schizophrenia started at the age of 24.

It manifested with anxiety and depression. I can still remember the day that the prodromal phase of my illness took over. It was like something inside me just shut off completely. I lost my desire to participate in life anymore. I stopped going to work, and no longer made time for friends or family. The most important thing to me was being alone with my own thoughts. I felt empty and nothing could fill the void. It is characteristic for people with schizophrenia to make irrational life choices when they are in the prodromal phase of their illness.

This period of my life lasted for about two years. I didn’t expect my life to change but I needed it too. I would go from being completely apathetic to bursting with emotions. I couldn’t find a balance. It’s difficult for people with schizophrenia to regulate their emotions. At the age of 27 I had my first visual hallucination.

I didn’t know I was hallucinating at the time. Everything felt and looked so real. An image of my deceased father began to float before me. At first I was scared but then suddenly I felt protected and consumed by his presence. Within that time frame I started to feel my fathers presence wrap his arms around me.

I didn’t know at the time that this was a tactile hallucination, the false perception of touch. Then three songs played on the radio and I could feel the music running through me. I believed every song was my father’s way of communicating with me. I didn’t know at the time that these were delusions of reference. It is common for people with schizophrenia to believe that messages are being sent to them through the tv or radio. I felt so empowered, like my father was giving me a mission in life, I just didn’t know what it was yet. I promised myself I wouldn’t tell anyone about my experience because I didn’t think they would believe me. After growing up with a mother who has paranoid schizophrenia I was worried that my siblings would jump to conclusions if I told them. In my mind I was convinced that this was just a spiritual experience and I would eventually find out what my fathers mission was. Over the next few days I waited for my fathers presence came back to me. When it did it followed me around for months. Medications help now but when it started it was like it never left. It was in the thick layers of thin air. It was light as a feather but it's presence weighed heavy on me.

It crept into the quiet moments when I thought I was alone.

Producing silent sounds that echoed in the background. I started feeling compelled to write a book. The urge was so strong that I spent countless hours at the computer. I could feel every word pass through me from my deceased father and onto the screen. I started to believe that my

deceased father was controlling my thoughts and helping me write the book. The book still exists today. It’s about my family’s experience with schizophrenia. At the time I was just writing about my mom because even in my wildest dreams I never imagined that I was developing schizophrenia. The experience with my father lasted for about a month.

I finished the book and felt that it was my gift to the world. I felt that I had a special message to share and had special importance in the world. I was experiencing grandiose delusions related to my deceased father and the book. It wasn’t until my second visual hallucination that I started to suspect whether I could be developing a mental illness. The delusion of my fathers presence used to bring me so much comfort.

It gave me incredible powers and knowledge but soon the sun turned into darkness. The thoughts being inserted into my mind suddenly turned more bizarre. I wanted it to end, for him to be gone again. My second visual hallucination was of an insect. I could see and feel it as it crossed over my skin. Then suddenly I felt it jump into my skin.

Then I felt the sensation of bugs crawling under my skin. My thoughts were trying to tell me that my entire body was infested with bugs. I felt gross and I freaked out. I kept telling myself this can’t be happening while my mind was trying to tell me it was. I started to suspect that I could be experiencing visual and tactile hallucinations and somatic delusions (belief that something is happening inside the body). I went to the emergency room and from there I spent two months on a psychiatric unit. I now see a psychiatrist once a month and Ive had four episodes of psychosis to date. At first I believed my fathers presence in my life to be a religious revelation, some sort of spiritual awakening. Later did I come to realize it was all part of a delusion between

the possible and the impossible.

My mind is free to wonder but it remains within the limits I set by accepting my illness. I am now in recovery or at least my version of it. I still have symptoms but they are more manageable now that I am on medication. I will be returning to work as a nurse soon and I’m looking forward to embracing another change.

ADVICE I would people with schizophrenia who feel alone to know that they are certainly not alone in this world.

Schizophrenia can be a very isolating illness due to the stigma and the symptom of isolation itself. There are people who understand what you are going through. There are 51 million people around the world who have schizophrenia.

You may feel alone at times but always remember you are one of 51 million.

If you feel lost, please seek professional help. Some people refuse to seek treatment due to the stigma but I want people to know that there is help available. Having schizophrenia is nothing to be ashamed of and neither is seeking help for it. If you can relate to my story, particularly the part about feeling empty like nothing could fill the void. I want you to know that it may not get better (schizophrenia is a chronic illness) but it will certainly get easier. You will become stronger overtime and more resilient.

FRIENDS & FAMILY ADVICE How can you love someone when you generally feel nothing?

Sometimes I ask myself this question and I’m sure many people wonder this about their friends or family members with schizophrenia. What makes me love my partner, and my family? When I do feel emotions I generally feel a surge of compassion and concern for other people. I suddenly feel everything for them and it's the deepest form of love. I recognize what some people do for me and how far I'd go for them. My partner and my family have made a permanent mark on my mind and that will never fade. When you have schizophrenia every episode can be a reminder of who you love and who does their best to understand you and your illness. Although we may not always feel empathy and love we can still understand it. We have to work twice as hard to show our love because of this. That should count for something. So even in my deepest form of nothing the people I love are everything. Even if your family member or friend doesn’t show compassion towards you it doesn’t mean that they don’t possess that quality. Even when we can't feel emotions, we can always do our best to understand them. I guess we have to learn how to love without our emotions. Love to me is more than an emotion. It's a concept that I can understand greatly. Sure our illness may cause us to lack feelings most of the time but it gives us a deeper understanding of what love is.

MISCONCEPTIONS It's part of our chemistry to be misunderstood. Irrational urges that verge on madness are often mistaken for being violent. Sure there are some violent people with schizophrenia but violent people exist in the general population as well. The majority of people with schizophrenia are not violent. Our type of madness does not leave us susceptible to violence. Our type of

madness breeds creativity. The violent stories you read about in the news are heart-breaking if anything. What's disturbing is how psychosis went that far without proper intervention. In a society that blames the person with schizophrenia I think we should start to look at the real problem: a lack of resources, an ignored mental health care system, expensive medications, and inadequate support systems. If we made improvements for people with schizophrenia and put more emphasis on early intervention then tragedies resulting from psychosis would be far more preventable. I think the biggest misconception will always be that people with schizophrenia are violent but the reality is people with schizophrenia are more likely to be a victim of violence by others.

SELF-AWARENESS I think what I have learned most about myself is how resilient I am. I think this speaks to anyone with schizophrenia.

Psychosis has taught me so much about life in general. Schizophrenia gave me a glimpse into alternate reality theories. My illness showed me another world that transcends the world in which we live. Before I became ill I considered myself to be grounded in science, and rationality.

My educational background within the field of science demanded it. Two years ago I had my first episode of psychosis. The first episode is the most memorable for me. It was the first episode that gave me my first look into the world of psychosis. The questionable became more realistic and the impossible suddenly seemed possible. During my first episode I had incredible importance in this world of impossible possibility, unlike the one in which I actually lived in. I was no longer an observer of the world, but an important figure that was meant to be observed. It was

almost euphoric in a way. The only problem was that I was unable to control my fantasies.

It was highly unlike me to explore aliens, and thought stealing Government agents and other phenomena after being introduced to the world of science through nursing.

Psychosis has given me the opportunity to broaden my perspective. Although my illness has led me away from science, my mind always brings me back to science in the end.

It's interesting sometimes to explore new possibilities even if they turn out to be wrong. It's a way to defy the reality in which we live without ever actually leaving earth Psychotic experiences have often filled me with new and interesting ideas. In the worst case, these ideas turn out to be totally absurd and useless.

Following my break from reality I dismiss these ideas easily and hopefully there is no harm done. In some cases, the ideas are dead ends but I often learn a great deal in trying to find a conclusion. In some cases the ideas have proven to be useful even after I regain my sanity.

These ideas usually need a little revision with lucidity but they seem to make sense and have basis in this world. The brain of someone with schizophrenia is very divergent. We think outside of the box, inside the box, and even in the very material that makes up the box.

Our mind doesn't stop at one idea, it filters many ideas at one particular time. The human brain is incredible to begin with and I think having schizophrenia only improves upon that fact.

KARMEN

"If my revelation of having Schizoaffective disorder can have a positive effect on someone else's life who can relate, then it`s 100% worth it."

KOZMA

My first schizoaffective episode

For example, while being

was manic episode which turned

psychotic, I remember going to

into psychosis. I was 21 years old

groceries to buy my favorite

back then. I didnt know that I

chocolate. They were out of that

have this kind of illness coming,

chocolate, there was zero of it.

so wasnt ready at all when it hit

My delusions told me that they

me, well, I think actually noone

were all gone because I had a

ever is. Back then I was studiyng

birthday coming and my loved

in med school. Studies in med

one just wanted to surprise me

school are really hard, there was

by giving me all these chocolates

a lot of pressure, also I was

which were gone. The reality was

working out practically every day,

that they were, and 1.5 months I

sometimes even twice a day. We

was having thousands and

have discussed about that

thousands this kind of delusional

lifestyle a lot with my therapyst

thoughts. All the gifts and flowers

and this lifestyle may have

I saw I thought were for me. All

triggered manic episode. I was

the people passing by and

pushing myself way too hard. On

looking at me, I thought were

the other side, I have a lot of

sending the emotions and

family members who have also

feelings of my loved one through

mental disorders, so I probably

their expressions. It it really

have it in my genes.

bizarre, even creepy to remember these thoughts and

MY STORY So, here is my story. Like I already said, my first episode was manic psychotic episode. The thing about manic episode is, that when it hits you for the first time, it is very hard to know that it is manic episode. For example I just thought that I have a lots and lots of non-stopping energy. I felt even little bit like goddess back then- I didn't need sleep, food, or any rest. I was doing and looking fine during the manic episode. It lasted for about two months. Everything was going fine, but manic episodes tend to turn into psychosis. Mine episode also went out of control and suddenly I was all delusional and even had some hallucinations.

These delusions lasted for one and a half month, until I got hospitalized into psychiatric clinic. Psychosis can be negative or positive. Mine was positive. I was seeing the world through pink glasses, and I believed that I have a romantic relationship with one of my course-mates.

Psychosis means you are living in your own world and almost all of your thoughts and ideas are turned into reality.

feelings. Interesting how our brain can get so messed up. I also had some hallucinations. just out of these chocolates. One time I remember seeing two meters long rabbit jumping in the middle of Tartu. Back then I just thought- oh, a rabbit. But when I was brought back to reality, I understood that it was not possible that rabbit is in that size and just jumps out of nowhere...

So, when I was delusional, I was also communicating more actively with my friends. One moment my closest friends started to notice that something is wrong with me. They called my mom, she came to Tartu and took me to clinical therapist. It took only 5 minutes this therapist to understand that I am all messed up, she called me an ambulance.

My mother was all crying, I didn't understand why. When the ambulance came, my delusions told me that it was some kind of game and that I am taken to a date. I imagined that ambulance was instead of limousine, because we were medical students and ambulance instead of the limousine would be suitable.It took two weeks to get back in reality, all together I was hospitalized for a month.

Getting back in the real world was the most painful feelings I've ever felt. After I got back into reality, the doctors had to make sure that I`m stable now. So I had to stay for two more weeks into psychiatric hospital. The first time I got out of the hospital was really hard for me. I felt like everyone knows what happened and I felt really ashamed of myself. I felt like a failure. I just wanted to go back to my mothers home and never come out of moms apartment anymore. My days were passing by lying under the blanket and eating junk food. I gained 22,4 kilograms with one and a half month. My life became a nightmare, i couldn't believe that all this happened to me. Reality was so hard, that I only wanted to fall asleep so I could forget about everything what happened. One moment you are becoming a doctor, working out, hanging out with your friends and other moment you are taken to psychiatric hospital by an ambulance and surrounded by four walls and window, which you can`t even open, you have to eat your lunch with a spoon from a metal bowl. It was awful and very painful experience. Without noticing I was having a deep depression.

The moment I decided to get back on feet, was after four months of lying in bed and not coming out of home. My mom told me, that whatever I decide to do with my life, she still loves me and she is really proud of me.This simple words gave me strength so big, that I decided to try my best to get out of depression and get back on feet.

Then suddenly my grandmother died. I felt sorry for my mom that she had lost one of her parents and I by that time I decided that she won`t lose her daughter too. I moved back to Tartu, found a job and went back to university. It was really hard to study, because during psychosis people usually have brain damage, so had I, what is more, also depression was disturbing to study, so I decided that I need longer time to recover and quit university/college. From now the main task for me was to get over depression, get back to normal, active lifestyle and lose all the weight I gained so I can feel healthy again. I was doing quite fine, till I decided myself to quit taking medicine. It didn't take very long time when I had new manic episode, which I didn't recognize. But I recognized psychosis when it was about to start. I called my doctor and got medicine that helped. Luckily this time I was not hospitalized. I know that lots of patients make the same mistake- when they feel better and even well, they tend to decide to stop taking medicine, but this is huge, huge, huuuuuuuge mistake. You can stop taking your medicine ONLY WHEN YOUR DOCTOR SAYS SO! I have done this mistake for two times by now. Both times I was getting back psychotic. Luckily both times I got my psychosis under control and everything was fine again. So, all these two years I spent going every month to my doctor and therapy. I felt better and better every day. Finally I was both physically and mentally strong. When some time passed by, I felt that I`m ready again to begin with studies. At the moment I`m already a second year student, it feels really good to be able to study again, it`s a big step forward. I also have a boyfriend who I live with, he is my biggest supporter and best friend and from time to time, when I have harder times, he`s the one I can count on. I also lost every kilogram I gained and got back healthy and fit. It took very much energy and I had to put a lot of effort to build new life, but I succeeded and I believe that anyone could.

Having a mental disorder and such a big breakdown is not an easy path, but if you believe in yourself and give yourself enough time to recover, go to therapy, listen to your doctors and take medicine, then everything is possible. Finding proper medicine is also not so easy way.You have to try lots of different medicines, before you find suitable mixture of medicine for yourself. It took me three years to get on right medicine, but trying all kind of meds was totally worth the result in the end.

MENTAL HEALTH I have experienced anxiety when I went back to university. I was scared that I`m not capable to study after brain damage I had because of the psychosis. Anxiety caused eating disorders, I was overeating to try to get my anxiety under control, but it didn't help actually. The best way to cure anxiety for me was seeing therapist. I am going to therapy for almost a year now and it really

INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

When I have intrusive thoughts, I tend to listen to the cheerful music. I also go for a walk and since I love cappuccinos and lattes, I usually have one of them. I also read books, or watch my favorite comedy TV series. All these activities help me to concentrate on other things and get away from intrusive thoughts. I usually don`t want to see anyone

does help.

during I have these thoughts, but sometimes

REACHING OUT

even by facetime or phone. Chatting helps

My very closest friends and my family members all know about my mental illness and about what happened and they have been ever more supportive since I got my diagnosis. I feel like I have the whole support system. I always have someone to call or someone to talk with, someone to discuss my current condition. But actually the thing is,

it is really helpful just to talk to someone, also. Sometimes I scroll my camera roll and remember great moments by looking at pictures and videos. Also, I like to read motivational quotes, this always helps. My favourite quote is: The devil whispered in my ear, “You`re not strong enough to withstand the storm.” I whispered back, “I am the storm.”

every time I share my story or mental illness with someone new, I think about it very long before I tell. People are different and there are all kind of stigmas about the people who have mental disorders. I don`t want that it would affect my life negatively, so I don`t share my story with anyone, only with chosen ones, who understand and support. But the thing about that is, that you find out their true opinion only when you tell them, so sometimes it is risky. I usually tend to trust these people who have trusted something to me, then its is easier to trust them also. For example I have two instagram accounts, one is where I share usual pictures with usual topics, but the other is where I share pieces and stories of my schizoaffective disorder, to communicate with other people who have mental disorders and to raise awareness about mental health topics. Actually, I have once also lost one of my closest friends because of my mental disorder. It`s painful to think about it, but I`m glad that there are more of these people, who understand and support, than those who judge and turn their back to you.

ADVICE If someone is feeling lost and lonely dealing with schizoaffective, I would recommend to seek help as soon as possible. I believe than no one in this world is so strong that could deal with Schizoaffective disorder or other mental disorder alone. You need to see regularly your doctor to find the right treatment, it would be good to see a therapist also. I haven't tried it my own, but I know that there are different kind of support groups for people who have mental disorders. Sometimes it is good to listen to other people stories, advice and opinions. It could really help. It also helps to read about your illness. The more you know, the easier it gets to live with it, because if you are aware of your disorder, it is easy to recognize symptoms and get them back under control.

Trust other people with same problems, listen to someone who has already been through some journeys. And the most important message, advice I want to give- you have to take medicine to have a healthy and enjoyable life. It is long journey to find the right medicine, it`s very unpleasant

SYMPTOMS I have manic episodes, which can easily turn into psychosis. After manic episodes I have depression. Daily I feel mood swings, but I have great medical treatment which helps to keep me more stable and feel better.

sometimes because of the side effects, but you really don`t have other option. Just be patient and wait. It took me three years to find the right, perfect treatment, which has minimal side effects, but the most important is that I did and SO WILL YOU!

FAMILY & FRIENDS I have had several communicating problems with my family and closest ones, because sometimes it is really hard for them for understand me.

For example when someone has a

while speaking about mental disorders. It`s

have. I have also found out how much I care

depression, then please, try not to use

just a chemical imbalance or trauma, nothing

about other people, especially about those

phrases like „maybe you just have bad mood“,

else.

with mental disorders. If my revelation of

„what happened“, „put yourself together“.

Myth:People with mental health problems are

having schizoaffective order can have positive

Being depressed is not a choice and the

violent and unpredictable.

affection of someones life, then it`s 100%

person in depression is not a lazy one. Just

Well, I discussed this myth with my therapist

worth it.

be there when depressed person needs you.

and he said that people who are drunk or

If you haven't had depression yourself, it is

under drugs at the bar are more violent than

better not to give advice to someone who

those with mental illnesses. For example,

has. The best you can do for someone who

when I had a psychosis I was not dangerous

has mental disorder is to make sure that he

to no one, if only to myself. Of course, there

or she takes medicine and sees doctor and

are some exceptions, but violence and

therapist. This is the best advice you can give.

mental health problems don`t come

Also, when people get depressed they can be

together.

little more passive than usual, maybe don't

Myth:People with mental health needs, even

want to go out, to movies or just for a walk.

those who are managing their mental illness,

So if they don`t, it is better not to push them

cannot tolerate the stress of holding down a

to. When they will be ready, they will go. Also,

job.

when someone with bipolar or schizoaffective

I know many people who have mental

disorder have mood swings, it doesn't have to

disorders but they still do work. I study in

mean that they are moody, it`s just how this

university and work at the same time, I have

type of illnesses sometimes are. The family

had such nominations as “Best younger sales

and friends of someone with mental disorder

consultant nominee 2017” and “Best vice

should also read about mental illnesses, so

manager 2018” in the company I work. This is

they can try to relate and understand better

the living proof that mental illnesses have

their bipolar or scizoaffective friend. I have

nothing to do with capability of holding down

also had a therapy together with my mother.

a job.

It helped us to communicate effectively,

Myth:There is no hope for people with mental

helped to understand each other,speak up

health problems. Once a friend or family

without hurting anyone's feelings. Sometimes

member develops mental health problems,

I take my boyfriend to the doctors, so he can

he or she will never recover.

have a clue what is important to have in mind

There is always hope for people with mental

while living with someone who has

problems. Medicine develops so quickly and

schizoaffective disorder, and in that way he

they have a lots of great meds and therapies

can take also part of my treatment.

for mental illnesses. With a great treatment you can have stable, normal life.

SELF-AWARENESS MISCONCEPTIONS “I hate when I tell someone that I have schizoaffective and see a look of terror in their eyes.”

We do not judge people who have different kind of diseases. For example, when someone has diabetes, it`s because their pancreas is non-functioning. If someone has leukemia, it`s because they have abnormal amount of white blood cells. If someone has allergies, it`s because they have supersensitivity in their immune system. All these diseases have an common thing- they are diseases, misfunctions of our organism. So are mental disorders. It`s just a chemical imbalance in our brain. It`s not that someone is “crazy”, “abnormal”, “stupid” or while having a depression “lazy”. Forget about this words

I have learned about myself that I`m lot stronger and braver than I thought. Living with a mental disorder is not an easy path, hell no. Also I have found out that I make a lot of mistakes, but every time I learn from one. Every mistake is like a new lesson- it gives me some knowledge about my disorder and what is more, I can tell others about my mistakes, so they could learn from them and avoid them. I am also very patient, for example while waiting to pass depressive phase needs very big patience, the same is with weight loss, because I tend to gain weight during depressive times. I am great listener, because I know that people who are ill or who are having any type on disorders, like to be listened, they like to be asked and tell their stories. I also am much more tolerate now, I never judge anyone, because you will never now what story someone may

@karmenkozma @nemrak94

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CELIA FRANCO MORA

MY STORY Hello, my name is Celia. I’m 30 years old. I have Schizoaffective Disorder Depressive type, which if you’re unfamiliar with that, means that I experience symptoms of both Schizophrenia and Depression. I started experiencing Depression when I was a little girl following my parent’s divorce. My dad was my best friend and I missed him terribly. I contemplated suicide at the age of 11.

Middle school was a difficult time for me. Although I was depressed, I had a decent high school experience. I was active in sports and clubs. I started experiencing symptoms of Schizophrenia in my late teens. This is when I met my first boyfriend. I sank further into Depression because my boyfriend was unhealthy for me. In college, I started hearing voices. I got married to my first boyfriend after college. When I got my first professional job, I began to feel intensely fearful of others, the voices became more magnified and I was seeing things that were not real.

During my fourth hospitalization, I asked for a divorce amid all of my symptoms. After I was released from the hospital, I went to live with my aunt, uncle and cousins. In terms of my mental health, my family feared I would not recover after my fourth hospitalization. I was not responding to medication and my symptoms were terrible. I was paranoid of everyone, including my family, I believed my family to be demons in human form, and this time, I thought that I was the second coming of Christ.

It took nearly a year for me to have some normalcy in my life. I’m very happy to say that I’m currently doing the best I’ve ever been. I see my psychiatrist regularly, I take my antipsychotic medication daily and I am in the process of getting involved with NAMI. I have an incredibly supportive and loving boyfriend. I have great relationships with my family. I’m advocating for mental health on social media. I have a great job as a ballet teacher. I’m just overjoyed with the outcome of my life.

INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

For years, my illness went undiagnosed until I had an acute psychotic break when I was 26 years old. I was paranoid, delusional and both seeing and hearing things that were not real. The main delusions I experienced were that I would give birth to the second coming of Christ and that angels and demons were real and disguised as humans. I feared for my life because the voices told me that as the mother of the second coming of Christ, I should be very afraid of the evil in the world. My symptoms gradually decreased with the help of antipsychotic medication; however, they never fully disappeared. I was hospitalized every year for three years following my first hospitalization. Each relapse made my symptoms worse and my recovery took longer and longer.

I deal with intrusive thoughts by engaging in my hobbies. I go for a brisk walk, I write, I practice ballet.

I also try to rationalize my thoughts and do reality tests with my loved ones.

MENTAL HEALTH, REACHING OUT, & SYMPTOMS I have had Depression since I was 11 years old. In college when I was 19, I reached out to a counselor to help me with my Depression. I had no idea, however, that I was experiencing anything more than Depression. At the time, I was oblivious to my psychotic symptoms that included hearing voices and seeing things that were not real.

Unfortunately, seeing a counselor was short lived. I quit going to counseling after a month or so after

my counselor recommended I see the psychiatrist. The psychiatrist prescribed me antidepressants. I did not want to take antidepressants because of the stigma associated with taking psychiatric medication. I also believed that it would cause me harm. I didn’t see a psychiatrist again until I was 26 following the first of four hospitalizations.

The symptoms that I personally experience are delusions and both visual and auditory hallucinations. For the most part, I experience religious (I am not religious) and persecutory themed delusions.

The voices I hear comment about my actions, my thoughts, about others. They are highly negative and critical. I have seen many things that were not real in both the past and present. As a result of these symptoms, I deal with high levels of anxiety on a daily basis ADVICE For years, I was completely lost to Schizophrenia and Depression. If you're feeling lost, I highly recommend reaching out to others, be they professionals, or your loved ones, or better yet both. I also recommend talking to your psychiatrist about your symptoms if they are not improving so that medication changes can take place. The best advice I can offer to anyone recovering from psychosis includes the following: -Build a relationship with a psychiatrist and counselor.

-Take your medication(s) as prescribed.

-Do not do drugs, or drink alcohol.

-Maintain family ties/friendships.

-Exercise!

-Eat a balanced diet.

-Engage in hobbies.

All of these things combined will help you on your journey to recovery. Remember, recovery is not a linear process, it has pitfalls at times. Much like life, recovery is not perfect.

To those of you who have friends and/or family members that have Schizophrenia I just want to say that there is hope. Do not lose sight of that. Be there for your friend, or family member in any way you can.

They are still there, beneath all of the symptoms, they are still there.

MISCONCEPTIONS A common misconception of people with Schizophrenia is that we cannot lead independent, functional and successful lives. This is far from the truth. As long as we are under the right treatment plan, we can most definitely be successful in life.

SELF-AWARENESS Through everything that has happened in my life, I have learned a great deal about myself. I've learned that what I want most is to help others in their journey with mental illness. I love talking to others about their experiences and helping them in any way that I can.

I have also learned that love trumps everything. In a world where stigma dominates, I have learned that embracing the light in the world and showing love to all is the most important thing.

@schizo_celia YouTube: SchizoCelia

Please see and consult with your doctor if you are experiencing any symptoms in relation to the articles in this magazine. We are not giving health advice, but only experiences of the individuals. Consult with your doctor.

We would like everyone who has any type of mental health issue to know that you are loved and are in fact not alone. Millions upon millions of people go through things mentally, but do not voice it out. Do not be afraid. You could be the light for someone else by speaking your story.

There is power in your pain.

M A G A Z I N E