OPEN LETTER: YA-YA MARTINEZ

YA-YA MARTINEZ

Dear Community,

We are not here to compete Are you feeling down and blue because you haven't gotten any praise for the changes made? I get it I too found myself blue with glue on my head, extensions down to my ass Giving myself to the highest bidder Why? Because I craved first place I was standing in a crowd of baddies and I thought that to stand out amongst them I had to compete against them Wear what they wore but newer Yelling my accomplishments out loud Ignoring those crying for help But was I genuinely happy? Did having attention and praise make me better? No, because I had to worry about staying on trend, buying name brands, 32' inches of extensions and sisterly approval Running to stand in the shortest line so I could be amongst the baddies Baddies which were and currently still are being defined by individualized followers You know the ones I speak of The ones that preach to themselves and on to everybody else how individualized they are Without realizing that in a group they fit right in When seen in public people question "who is that?"

Well I was there and I decided to bow out That competition wasn't for me I bowed out because of situations that made my soul ache The process of knowing that even if I was amongst the "Baddies" and in first place, I wouldn't be happy Why? Because I transitioned for me, not to be cool, nor a video vixen To be the realest in the community I never saw myself as the voice of fashion nor a trendsetter and in transitioning that was not part of my goals. Please don't get me wrong! There is nothing wrong with hair extensions, make-up or sexy clothes. If that's what you want to wear, if you want to show off your body, you want to be in videos, a supermodel or want to be an actress. Go for it. Do what makes you happy. But to you, to that girl standing in a haze, in front of the mirror feeling like something is missing, looking for fulfillment? Bow out of the competition and take some time to find what you urge.

To transition to many is a physical experience, but to those of us who have transitioned, we have realized that it's more of an internal Journey. You realize that it's not to compete with anyone. It is to fulfill yourself, to make yourself whole To be seen, to be heard And also to see, hear, to stand strong and confident

No I am not walking around BBL'd out, nor am I walking around on stilettos No I don't keep my hair done and yes you'll catch me with Little to no makeup Hoodie covering my head, baggy sweats and sometimes a nice pair of timberlands, but remember that's because I am her and she isn't here to compete!!! In a world filled with so much that divides us, just remember we all aren't here to compete, some of us are here to cheer on the "competitors," pass out the flyers and spectate the show That doesn't diminish our worth nor should disqualify us from the community It shouldn't keep us from the love and support that those baddies get

Sincerely,

Yaetza Maria Martinez