THE OLD MAN'S CORNER. E.L. WINSTON

Dear Dad,

THE OLD MAN'S CORNER

Asanadult,IunderstandwhyIwassadso muchwhileIwasgrowingupandwhyas muchasIlovedyouIneverlikedyou.Your militarymindsetandhardexteriorwashard onayoungkidtryingtofigureoutwhothey are.Someofyourpersonalviewsandflaws madeithardonyourwholefamily.You discouragedanysignofmebeingmy authenticselfandIunderstandnowthatit wasadifferenttime.Youandmomwere olderwhenyouhadusandyouweresetin yourways.

MytwinandIdiscussyoualotasadultsand ourviewsofyouhavesurprisinglyflipped. I'mmoreunderstandingwhereheismore criticalofourchildhood.Whileheis mourningthethingshemissed,Iamgrateful forthethingsIgained.It'sbecauseofyouI worksohard.Remember?Amanwhodoesn’t workdoesn’teat.Ihavetheheartofservice.I givemomthecreditforthatbuttruthbetold itisacombinationofyouboth.Idon’t rememberatimewhenIdidn’tseeyougoing outyourwaytohelpsomeone.Itwasn'tall bad,Dad.IwantyoutoknowthatI appreciateyoumakingusstudytheAfrican AmericanHistoryEncyclopedias.Thefact

I find myself thinking about you more as I get older and as I write this I'm filled with so many different emotions. I think of you more now because I can see a lot of you in me. You are in the way I parent and in the way I approach life. It hasn’t always been the best, so some of those things I've had to look at and change. I guess I should start by telling you that even though the lessons you were teaching my twin weren't intended for me, I was paying attention the whole time. You thought you were raising a son and a daughter instead of two sons. I picked up those life lessons and because of them: I'm a good man, father, husband and brother.

Thatweaspeopleofcolorhaveto supportoneanother Thattheeducationofyourchildrenis veryimportant.

Rochelle J Photography

Yourequiredustoread2sectionsfromthe encyclopedia,thenwriteapageaboutwhatwe learnedbeforewecouldgoplaywithour friends.Ittaughtus‘workbeforefun’because therewerethoseintheworldwhowouldsee usaslazyanduneducated.Thisnextlesson hassavedmemoretimesthanIprobablyeven realized.Whenyoudidn’twanttomedicatemy brotherandIforourADHD,youadjustedour dietanddemandedtheschoolhelpuswith toolsforfocus.Becauseofthatsituation,Ido myownresearchforsituationsandjust becausesomeonesaysthisishowitshouldgo doesn'tmeanitisso.IlearnedthatIam responsibleforadvocatingformyselfand others.Dad,Ineversawyoubackdownto anyoneoranything.ItisthereasonIwalkwith myheadupandmychestout.Ifightforwhat's right.Amanwhostandsfornothingfallsfor anythingandIsawyoustandforyour convictions.

I believe that you loved us more than your life experiences would allow you to show us and I learned that I couldn't allow that to be my family's experience because part of protecting your family is fixing the flaws that would harm them. Dad, rest easy knowing that this old man doesn't carry the things that hurt him instead I found the strength to heal and be able to see and celebrate the things that built me. Thank you!

Love, Your First Born