TRUSTING GOD IN UNCERTAIN TIMES
by Melville Szto
What does it really mean to trust God?
The amazing thing I learnt again and again was that God answers prayer, very specific prayers even, but not always in the way I had hoped. God always gave me the help I needed even though the situation remained the same.
It’s easy to say we trust God when everything is going well but what happens when props we never knew we were depending on are knocked out from under us one by one? We are largely unaware that the security and comfort we experience depend on many such props – personal and family health and wellbeing, a safe environment, things running smoothly or the security of a good job. For many of us, it is a moment of truth as we face the challenges brought on by the Covid19 epidemic. Perhaps most of us never envisaged such a scenario happening now in safe, comfortable, secure Singapore.
One spiritual lesson I learnt at this time was the need for courage. I have often claimed the promise of God to Joshua, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9). I understood the need for strength because I knew my weakness. But now I also learnt the need for courage. Courage is our response of trust in God in the face of danger and we won’t really know what courage is until we face danger.
Over the last one and a half years, many props I had been unconsciously depending on were knocked out from under me, one by one. Firstly, an unexpected fall in Sept 2018 fractured five of my ribs. That had barely healed when my beloved wife, Salome, was diagnosed with a long-term illness in December that same year. I became her primary care-giver and had to drop other ministries; from the Japanese church to my BFEC commitments and finally OMF (our missions organization) to focus on this one role.
I can fantasize about what I might do if I were attacked by an armed robber but I don’t know what I would actually do until it happens. In other words, we cannot learn courage until we are confronted by danger, by a crisis moment. Courage comes from deep within us, but like everything else we need, it ultimately comes from God.
The third thing that happened was my mum’s change of health, which needed several periods of hospitalization and round the clock care. Thankfully, my sisters, especially Lindis, were able to manage most of the additional responsibilities. All these happened before the coronavirus epidemic struck. What lessons have I learnt from this time of testing? Struggling to manage the many ups and downs of Salome’s illness and the treatment she needed, there were many times when I came to the point where I no longer knew what to do. In desperation, I prayed, “Lord, I cannot cope any more. If you don’t intervene in some way to help me, I just cannot go on. I have no one to turn to.” Melville and Salome with mum and sisters Joyce (left) and Christine.
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