Healed To Share His Healing

HEALED TO SHARE HIS HEALING

by Raymond and Hwee Lin Cheah

With the daily stresses and demands of work, parenting and running a household, it is easy to neglect the husband-wife relationship. Conflicts, disagreements and unresolved issues can cause a lot of hurt and problems, if they are not handled properly. Unknowingly, the connection seems lost, the intimacy is gone, the trust is eroded, the husband and wife drift apart. Though the couple knows that something is wrong, they may not know how to fix it. Or they would rather just keep the peace and not “rock the boat”, for fear of making things worse.

These were the struggles in our own marriage for many years. From the outside, everything seemed ok. But in reality, we were not in a good place; we felt stuck in a pit that we just couldn’t seem to get out of. It was only by God’s grace that we made it through and emerged stronger. God had sent godly couples who journeyed and prayed with us through trying and difficult times. We had to heal from past hurts, unlearn and relearn a lot about ourselves, and about what it really takes to make marriage work. It was a very humbling experience.

Looking back, we realised that if we had been better equipped with the right skills, approached our marriage with the right attitudes and understanding, had realistic expectations and sought godly counsel when it was timely, we could have avoided much of the anguish, frustrations and disappointments.

In June 2019, when we learnt that some couples in church were facing difficulties in their marriages, we felt led by the Holy Spirit to do something. By faith, we decided to run The Marriage Course (TMC) by Alpha, which we felt would be a good course for couples who want to be more intentional in their marriages. The 7-week course covered a comprehensive range of topics that are close to the hearts of every married couple.

With the okay from Faith@Home, support from church office and counsel from Elders Jimmy, See Toh Ming Yew and his wife, Hui Ing - the predecessors of the earlier TMC runs in BFEC - we managed to get the course going. Within a short few weeks, 12 couples, with marriages ranging from 4 to 31 years, signed up.

Couples sat in a cosy “cafe-style” setting, where words were exchanged in love, prayers were uttered in hope, vows were renewed in faith, for better and stronger marriages. They reaffirmed and recommitted to each other once more.

What we enjoyed most were our journeys home after each session, where we reflected on the vulnerabilities, healings, breakthroughs that we had witnessed, and how grateful we were for the transformational work of the Holy Spirit in these couples. What an honour and privilege to journey with them through TMC! For we knew then, their adventures in building stronger marriages had begun.

What can we do to guard our marriage and make it better? How can we be more intentional and deepen our connection with our spouse? How can we learn to talk about and work on issues together? These are crucial questions that married couples should continually ask and work on together as one. It is a lifelong journey, not a once-off process.

We found that if we are willing to humble and submit ourselves before God and to each other, He will lead us towards a loving and fulfilling one-ness that He had intended for us in our marriage.

Raymond and Hwee Lin all geared up for The Marriage Course