You're Not Alone

You're Not Alone... Really

coping wtih the ups and downs of being an expat

How to Care for Yourself Like an Orchid

This issue is blooming with flowers and fun events to pursue when life returns to some semblance of normal. Let’s take a page from Helena Antolin Cochrane’s article on taking care of orchids (see page 14) and see how we can apply it to our own ideas about self-care. Orchids, the national flower of Singapore, are alluring, to be sure. What once was an out-of-reach price range at my local Chicago Home Depot now is a relatively affordable staple of plant and flower shops here in Singapore. But, as we all know, orchids can be difficult to care for, not dissimilar to how difficult it is for us women to take care of ourselves sometimes. Here are some ideas on self-care, as an ode to orchids: Interestingly, orchids come in different shapes, just like we do. There’s the difficult one—the curvy stem with the moth-shaped blooms—and there’s the easy one, called a cane orchid that features many flowers on one straight stem. I suspect that along any randomly selected time stretch, each of us can be either kind, and we need to be OK with

that. Accepting that feelings and situations change is part of rolling with our expat life. Know that it’s OK to change back and forth from easy to hard. A couple of points about orchids are that they are hard to get the light right and hard to get the watering right. Some orchids need only indirect light, an ice cube of water, some air flow and mist around their roots. For us, this might mean a brief get-away to see temples in Siem Reap or elephants in Thailand

Written by Andrea McKenna Brankin

with a cool cocktail on the veranda. The orchids that need direct sun on their roots may equate to a week on the beach in Bali or Bintan with said cocktails and maybe a detox spa treatment to go along with it. Indeed, all orchids have a down phase where they go dormant and just don’t bloom, sometimes for a long time. Even as we may have down days or weeks or even months in our human lives, it’s important to remember that we’re still alive inside despite that withering feeling. It’s just a matter of time when, with the right light, the right water and the right care, we can become vibrant again. In this way, there’s always hope to bounce back, like most orchids I’ve ever owned always manage to do. I bounce back too, sometimes. Though we often see orchids looking fabulous whilst in the shop windows, we know that behind that façade may be some sadness or just stuff that feels not very attractive. In our daily lives, surely, we put on a good dress and a good face to show the world, but inside we may feel like life is hard to manage. In this light, I suggest we remember the “orchid” part of ourselves: We’re all beautiful and special and we’ll be OK with the right self-care. We have growing cycles just like orchids. As Helena’s article recommends, be patient and enjoy the process, as it “tests your resolve to obtain a longterm bloom”!

Andrea runs the AWA Listen Ladies Group, providing confidential support at monthly meetings. listenladies@awasingapore.org