Homebuilder Michael Murphy and designer Genevieve Hamblen of GNH Designs pulled out all the stops to make this Germantown new build a true showplace.
38 | DESIGN
Designer Patty Kiser Anderson’s affection for this home and its owners is evident as she describes the River Oaks residence she helped personalize for Stephanie and Anthony Tancredi.
50 EXPERIENCE THIS A Legendary Stay: Big Cypress Lodge Celebrates 10 Years
60 TRAVEL Paris Noël: Where Elegance Meets Enchantment 76 IN THE KITCHEN Bourbon Slush
Understanding Alzheimer's: A Guide for Caregivers (Part 1 of 2)
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Weare at the end of another summer and are starting to feel the excitement of SEC football and back-to-school time. The search for the coolest lunch box is on and is just as important as that first-day-of-school new outfit!
Moms of college-bound boys are making Target runs for mini fridges, beds in a bag, a few toiletries and the shopping is done. They celebrate by going to eat wings somewhere. Moms of girls, however, print out every décor item on the Target list and enjoy lunch while deciding which items they don’t need, a significantly shorter list than the one of needs. The Ole Miss girl’s mom most likely called her favorite interior designer a year or two ago. The design is going to be amazing and will NOT be posted until install day. They are enjoying lunch and shopping on-line for little Mary Lamar’s RUSH and GROVE attire when they notice Swayze May and her mom looking at the same dress, then the stress gets real!
We all want our spaces to be just right for ourselves and our family. That is just one reason we here at At Home get so much enjoyment from sharing beautiful homes that are perfect for the families who live in them. We hope you enjoy what we love doing and that it inspires you to find what is important for your comfort in your own home.
I will close this August letter the same way I have with every August letter. We are a month away from kick-off so HOTTY TODDY!!! Could this be the year?
- Margaret Monger, PUBLISHER
Driven by Details
DESIGN BY GENEVIEVE HAMBLIN OF GNH DESIGNS | TEXT BY TERRI
PHOTOGRAPHY BY ANNABELLA
PHOTOGRAPHY
BUILT BY MICHAEL MURPHY OF MURPHY CUSTOM HOMES
GLAZER
CHARLES
"Westarted with a plan for a really good house, then we wanted to see how we could make it that much better,” says homebuilder Michael Murphy. He and designer Genevieve Hamblen of GNH Designs pulled out all the stops to make this Germantown new build a true showplace, relying on their own creativity as well as that of the masterful tradespeople with whom they teamed.
The house is a study in details, from grand elements to small extras that might escape notice on the first pass. It reveals itself to the discerning eye little by little. Hamblen is quick to credit Murphy for that. “He puts so much thought into little things. I don’t think people know the type of painstaking thought that goes behind that.”
As for the big picture, Murphy started by situating the house on the lot in a very intentional way, placing the family spaces and more private areas on the sides where each made the most sense. “And we wanted to have a unique segue in between,” he explains.
That segue consists of a large open entryway. “Genevieve and I wanted to maximize the moment when you enter the house; to create a real ‘wow’ factor,” says Murphy. The grand scale of the foyer gives it the feel of a living area, while a trio of 10-foot- tall windows lead the eye through the space to the picturesque backyard. To the right, a unique semi-floating staircase combines utility and beauty—just one of the countless examples throughout the home of how the contractor and designer went the extra mile to produce the best imaginable result.
“Neither of us likes to cut corners, so we went all out,” Murphy says. “Every bit of this home is as custom as you can get.” Nowhere is this concept more evident than in the dining room. Hamblen sings the praises of Murphy Custom Homes’ trim carpenters, emphasizing that they are always up for trying new techniques. “Miestro Home Integration has great ideas about lighting and home audio visual, too, so we combined those two here,” she says. The subcontractors teamed to produce a unique element—reeded wood crown molding topped by hidden uplighting around all four walls.
While the room is a show stopper, Hamblen and Murphy agreed that it couldn’t upstage the areas into which it opens. Every space had to have star power and it all had to make sense together. Mission accomplished. Through a wide cased opening the family room is as light and airy as the dining room is moody. A clean-lined limestone fireplace anchors an accent wall covered in the same stone Murphy used on the home’s exterior. Glass doors on the opposite wall open fully to provide access to the covered patio and maximize flow for entertaining.
Murphy created a series of features with unexpected details that both connect and separate the family room, informal dining space and kitchen: cased openings with graceful curved side treatments. “We wanted to make every space as unique and wonderful as it could be. A lot of these details aren’t shown on anybody’s plans. They just come up and we make it happen. These arched corbels, I think, are a big difference maker,” he says.
Hamblen combined bright white, stained wood, gold tones and deep blue in the kitchen to create a look that’s fresh and interesting without going over the top. She explains, “People are always asking me what my style is, and I would say it’s a little understated. I want people to walk into a home and feel like they want to stay, but not necessarily know why; not to feel like there’s any one thing that they can pinpoint. It's all kind of a symphony together.”
As in the family room, windows function almost as art in the kitchen. Above the large work-station sink Murphy switched up the original plans in favor of the largest window possible in the space, again taking full advantage of the view of the beautifully landscaped backyard, pool and spa.
Tucked behind the kitchen, the scullery combines form and function. Loaded with all the requisite features— extra counter space, storage, a large sink, an oven, a gourmet coffee machine and more, the room is outfitted so elegantly and filled with so much light, it feels more like a comfortable place to spend time than a work area.
Backthrough the foyer sits a room where time-honored and cutting-edge elements blend to create something extraordinary. “I’d been wanting to do a library room for a long time. When Michael showed me the plans for this I couldn’t wait to design it!” Hamblen says. Behind a pivoting iron and glass door with panes that change from clear to frosted privacy glass at the push of a button, lies a hidden gem of a room. Custom full-height shelves line one wall and curve around to part of the next. The third is covered in “Gardens of Jaipur,” an enchanting mural wallpaper from British manufacturer Mind the Gap.
More statement wallpaper, large-scale “Perfect Peonies” from Phillip Jeffries, appears on an accent wall in the primary bedroom, creating a stunning focal point in the sizable space. Hamblen also chose to reprise the kitchen’s handsome stained cabinetry in the attached bath. It brings an element of warmth to the spa-like vibe created by light walls and floors, natural stone and a white porcelain soaking tub.
Proving that Murphy left no opportunity to customize this home unrealized, the owners’ closet boasts an array of purpose-built fixtures and an element of bling—gold leaf accents on the shelves’ front edges. The closet leads to the laundry room for maximum convenience.
“Both from a building and a design perspective, we wanted to make the upstairs interesting all the way around,” says Murphy. Once again, he, Hamblen and team put their talents together to deliver. The bunkroom is a masterpiece of woodworking. Double sets of bunks line a long wall. These aren’t just standard beds, however. “We gave the trim carpenter the basic design with the stairs between and the shelves, and he ran with it,” says Murphy. The deep teal Hamblen chose to color drench the wall and the built-ins highlights the woodworker’s creation.
The designer continued the use of dark color in both the upstairs bedrooms, pairing the dramatic hues with wallpaper. A subtle plaid plus navy paint gives one a masculine feel, while the other proves that deep tones can be feminine, as well. Three perfectly placed panels of artistic botanical wallpaper provide just the right amount of punch.
Alarge and comfortable media room rounds out the upstairs. Hamblen kept the design sleek and simple here, allowing Miestro’s handiwork to shine. Of course, there is a large TV centered on the main wall. Around the rest of the room, vertical frames that appear to hold art can automatically rotate to horizontal, becoming additional TV screens for the ultimate in viewing.
The house itself and its myriad beautiful details and features are remarkable, but perhaps the most exceptional part of its story is how its owners came to find it and make it their own. Libby and Bradley Cross were considering a move and had contacted Murphy to discuss building a home. The contractor suggested they meet him at his house that was currently under construction as part of the Spring 2025 Vesta Home Show.
Libby recalls, “We were meeting with Michael to see his work, but we had built two houses before and we really didn’t want to go through that whole process again. We have teenagers, and by the time a new house would have been finished, they’d be gone!
“Because we’d built houses before, I could tell this one was top quality,” she continues. “Bradley said, ‘We could buy this one,’ and it just made sense. I didn’t have any reservations about letting Michael and Genevieve do what they were doing.”
The Crosses did make a few changes to the plans to personalize the home to their interests. The family business is in the wine and spirits industry, so the library now holds Bradley’s extensive bourbon collection and serves as his tasting room. An upstairs space originally envisioned as a gift wrapping station pivoted to become a customized storage room for hunting and fishing gear. Equipped by the organization gurus at Trazo Design, the space includes custom cubbies that accommodate waders, rods and reels, and all the necessities for the hobbies Bradley and the couple’s son share.
Murphy says he’s amazed by the serendipity involved in how the Cross family came to own this home. “The perfect buyers at the right time, and the right house. I feel like every now and again, we really get lucky with timing and the people.” .
A HOUSE FULL OF LOVE
BY TERRI GLAZER
PHOTOGRAPHY BY CARROLL HOSELTON OF MEMPHIS MEDIA COMPANY
“The
house is so full of love and memories, not only beautiful things.” Designer Patty Kiser Anderson’s affection for this home and its owners is evident as she describes the River Oaks residence she helped personalize for Stephanie and Anthony Tancredi.
The homeowner echoes those sentiments as she walks through her house and reflects on its transformation into the home of her dreams. The Tancredis purchased the place in 2013, knowing they would remodel the kitchen right away. The project grew and expanded to include a large-scale addition that would increase the total square footage by 50 percent.
Stephanie recalls, “My husband and I decided at the time that if we made choices based on what would be easier rather than doing it right, we would regret it. We knew we didn’t want to move any time soon, so we went for it.”
Patty and Stephanie began their designer/client relationship in 1998 when the Tancredis bought a house in Grove Park. Stephanie says for this latest effort, “the stars aligned and we were given a dream combination of people to help us.” Along with their trusted designer, the couple brought in friend and former neighbor Carson Looney, contractor Hank Hill, who had built their previous home in Eads, and master landscape architect Marley Fields for the project. “They could see what the house was and they could see what its potential was. With their help, we were able to give it new life,” she adds.
The home’s neoclassical facade remains essentially the same as when it was constructed in 1978, as does the grand entryway. Accented by a sweeping open staircase, the foyer leads through a colonnade into a cozy area with seating and a beautiful grand piano originally owned by Stephanie’s grandmother. The instrument was a “must-have” when planning the design, says the homeowner. “I’m so glad we found it a happy home!” she adds.
Theformal living room just off the entry holds more family treasures and cherished pieces the Tancredis have collected along the way. Constructed during the renovation, built-in, lighted shelving units showcase a pair of porcelain oriental urns passed down from Stephanie’s mother. Hand gilded crown moldings add a stately feel here and in the formal dining room across the way. Artist Missy Payne applied the unique finishes, including a strie treatment on the dining room ceiling that creates the feel of being inside a canvas tent. Coupled with rich green walls, the look is reminiscent of a grand home in New Orleans.
Adjacent to the living room, a former dressing area was transformed into a full bar with handsome dark cabinetry and countertops. The setup suits the Tancredis’ needs to a tee, as the couple entertains large groups several times a year. It adjoins an equally stunning and masculine study, where wood-paneled walls, leather furniture and a traditional oriental rug bring to mind a gentleman’s library in an English manor house.
The mood changes from dapper to light-filled in the downstairs primary suite. Bathed in the perfect shade of light blue, the bedroom walls set a tranquil scene. Light neutrals in the rug, bedding, drapes and upholstery allow the furniture’s deep wood tones to stand out. The en suite bath exudes classic beauty thanks to the designer’s choice of marble floors and countertops paired with an elegant Thibaut wallpaper with a medallion pattern suited to stand the test of time.
The impetus for the entire renovation, the kitchen is truly the heart of this home. When the Tancredis purchased the house, the kitchen was galley style, with a bartop as the only option for informal dining. “We are kitchen table people. We sat at the table every day for dinner with our children,” Stephanie explains. “That’s not something I was willing to give up.” Looney and Hill’s solution? A massive new space with a generous island as well as room for a table and eight chairs.
Thekitchen opens into an inviting morning room with a vaulted ceiling. Its gracious scale and comfortable seating make it the ideal place for the couple to gather with their three grown children.
Also part of the addition, a large screen porch is one of the family’s favorite spots, especially when the weather moderates in the fall. When it was constructed, however, the outdoor room had a different purpose. Their youngest son was in first grade at the time, and the parents felt the kitchen windows were too far from the backyard pool for them to adequately keep an eye on little ones in the water. With a fireplace and seating area plus an outdoor kitchen and dining table, the porch is equipped for enjoyment in addition to pool proximity.
The two older children, pre-teens when the house became their family home, needed a spot to hang out with friends separate from their little brother’s upstairs playroom. Looney delivered a dream space with a vaulted ceiling, exposed beams, a stone fireplace and a billiards table that’s a sentimental favorite of the family. “They still love to be in this room and watch movies and play pool and pinball when they come back home, and that’s the best,” admits Stephanie.
The remodel extended to the home’s second floor, adding a bedroom, an exercise room with attached half bath and laundry room, and an upstairs screen porch that overlooks the park-like backyard.
Although the project took two years to complete due to its extensive scope, the family couldn’t be happier with the finished product which they’ve called home for over a decade. “When we purchased it, even though it was beautiful and we could see a huge amount of potential in it, something about the house felt heavy,” says Stephanie. “Then, three or four months before it came to completion, my husband and I were in the front yard. We turned around and looked and it took my breath away because it finally felt light.” That sense of light, beauty, joy and love remains and has grown as the family has made countless memories in their dream home.
A LEGENDARY STAY: BIG CYPRESS LODGE CELEBRATES 10 YEARS
THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A BETTER TIME TO VISIT!
As it celebrates its 10th anniversary in 2025, Big Cypress Lodge stands as one of Memphis’s most distinctive and celebrated hotel experiences. Located inside the iconic Bass Pro Shops Pyramid downtown, the facility first opened its doors in 2015, bringing a one-of-a-kind wilderness lodge atmosphere to the heart of the city. Over the past decade, it has become a destination in its own right, blending rustic charm with modern amenities and attracting visitors seeking comfort, adventure and a truly unique stay.
This milestone year is the perfect time for both new and returning guests to experience all that Big Cypress has to offer. With the hotel’s anniversary coinciding with Elvis Week 2025, Aug. 8-16, it’s an especially exciting time to visit. As the city welcomes fans from around the world to celebrate the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll, Big Cypress Lodge offers not just proximity to the festivities, but a memorable home base steeped in character and Southern hospitality.
Elvis Week draws thousands of fans each year for a series of events honoring Presley’s life and music. The 2025 lineup includes headlining concerts, appearances by close friends and collaborators, and the everpopular Ultimate Elvis Tribute Artist Contest, culminating in a moving Candlelight Vigil at Graceland on Aug. 15. This year’s event features notable appearances by Linda Thompson, Jerry Schilling and Larry Gatlin, along with a slate of themed performances such as “The Ultimate Return” and “Elvis: Live on Stage,” which blends archival footage with live musical accompaniment for a dynamic, immersive concert experience. Big Cypress offers Elvis fans both convenience and character. Situated less than 15 minutes from Graceland, the hotel provides easy access to all of the city’s Elvis-related attractions while remaining a destination in its own right. The lodge stands apart for more than just its location. Built within the 32-story Bass Pro Shops Pyramid, the hotel features 103 rooms and suites designed to resemble vintage cabins, complete with electric fireplaces, screened-in porches and views of the indoor Cypress Swamp, a 535,000-square-foot atrium filled with live fish, alligators and towering trees. Guests can dine at The Lookout at the Pyramid, a restaurant and bar featuring panoramic views of the Mississippi River and Memphis skyline from the top of the glass elevator. For a more casual experience, the Fishbowl & Grill provides underwater-themed bowling lanes and family-friendly fare. Other on-site amenities include an archery range, a shooting simulator and direct access to Bass Pro Shop’s extensive retail space and outdoor gear displays. The hotel blends rustic ambiance with modern comforts, making it a memorable setting for any Memphis stay.
In 2025, Big Cypress Lodge celebrates a decade of hospitality with two exclusive anniversary promotions designed to thank loyal guests and welcome new ones. The 10-Year Anniversary Sweepstakes offers a chance to win a free one-night stay each month through the end of the year in an interior king or double queen room overlooking the Cypress Swamp atrium. In addition, the 10-Year Anniversary Sale provides an additional 10 percent off the best available rate for stays Sunday through Thursday throughout 2025. This limited-time offer gives travelers a chance to experience the lodge at a reduced rate during peak travel season.
With these promotions running during Elvis Week and beyond, 2025 offers an ideal moment to discover or return to this uniquely Memphis destination. Staying at Big Cypress Lodge during Elvis Week offers more than convenience, it creates a seamless connection between the city's rich musical history and its contemporary charm. From the moment guests step into the towering pyramid, they’re immersed in an environment that’s equal parts adventure and elegance, nature and nostalgia. As Memphis celebrates the 48th anniversary of Presley’s passing, Big Cypress Lodge adds its own milestone to the mix, offering guests a place not just to rest, but to revel. For travelers seeking a home base with character, comfort and close proximity to one of the world’s most legendary cultural celebrations, the timing couldn’t be better.
PARIS NOËL: WHERE ELEGANCE MEETS ENCHANTMENT
TEXT AND PHOTOS COURTESY OF BARBARA MAY, OWNER OF TRAVEL LEADERS
A curated escape into the City of Light’s most magical season—for lovers, families and first-time dreamers alike
There’s something cinematic about Paris in December. As dusk falls earlier and the city begins to glitter beneath golden garlands and candlelit façades, the French capital takes on a different kind of charm: less hurried, more luminous. For the high-minded traveler, the holiday season offers more than just another getaway; it’s a rare moment to see Paris at its most intimate and theatrical, dressed in its festive best and exuding a softer kind of elegance.
At the heart of this seasonal transformation are the marchés de Noël, or Christmas markets, dotting the arrondissements (city districts) like twinkling pearls. Their origins may trace back to Alsace and medieval Germany, but Paris has reinterpreted the tradition with characteristic refinement since the 1990s. Think polished wooden chalets nestled beneath the Eiffel Tower or tucked beside centuries-old cathedrals, filled with hand-blown glass ornaments, local delicacies and the enticing scent of mulled wine.
From the grand Tuileries Garden market, where lights shimmer on every tree branch, to the artsy charm of Montmartre’s stalls tucked into its hillside maze, each market brings its own style and story. Couples bundle up, hands laced together around paper cones of roasted chestnuts. Children tug scarves as they point out handmade wooden toys or ride gilded carousels spinning beneath antique lamplight. And solo travelers—those connoisseurs of observation—find poetry in the gestures: a vendor carving wax candles, a violinist playing "O Holy Night,” or steam rising from a chocolat chaud (hot chocolate) in the crisp air.
MOMENTS THAT SPARKLE: HOLIDAY MAGIC FOR EVERY TRAVELER
Paris invites travelers of every kind to experience the holidays through a new lens. For couples, the city is a master class in romance: twinkling lights reflected in Seine River waters, midnight strolls beneath Haussmannian balconies wrapped in velvet ribbons, and impromptu kisses on snow-dusted bridges. Families discover a city transformed into a living snow globe with puppet theaters in plazas, choirs under stained glass, and sweets shops decorated like something out of a fairy tale.
First-time visitors are treated to a baptism in beauty with holiday spirit stitched into the rhythm of the city itself. Nothing feels commercial or contrived. Instead, Paris’s Noël radiates something quieter, more soulful: a deep-rooted celebration of light, craftsmanship and community.
All over the city, elegance and enchantment intertwine. Department store windows become miniature operas, particularly at Galeries Lafayette, where displays sprawl across stories-high façades like animated dioramas. In these fleeting theatrical worlds, polar bears ice-skate through Parisian streets, gingerbread creatures dance to Tchaikovsky, and velvet curtains part to reveal glowing trees that seem almost to breathe.
And then there’s the music—floating from churches, metro stations and bustling boulevards. Brass quartets, street performers and student choirs fill the streets with melody, as if the city itself is humming along with the season.
ELEGANT ESSENTIALS: A PARISIAN WINTER WELL SPENT
To savor Paris in December requires just the right blend of planning and spontaneity. The temperatures hover near freezing, often accompanied by a mist that seems tailor-made for photo backdrops, so pack wool coats, silk-lined gloves, and sturdy, fashion-forward footwear. Cashmere scarves are practically a currency here, and smart outerwear ensures you fit right in among the effortlessly polished locals.
Book accommodations early, especially boutique hotels along the Left Bank or in Le Marais, where historic mansions have been transformed into design-forward sanctuaries with fireplaces, vintage bookshelves and courtyard views. Many offer holiday perks like champagne breakfasts or curated walking tours of nearby markets. Dining during the holidays is an affair to be planned. While traditional bistros serve up roasted duck, oysters and foie gras with aplomb, many Michelin-starred restaurants design prix-fixe Christmas and New Year’s menus weeks in advance. Reserve early, and don’t be afraid to indulge—the French wouldn’t want it any other way.
Many attractions close or reduce hours around Christmas Eve and Day. Use that time wisely. Wander slowly along the Seine. Stop for a mulled wine at a brasserie in Place des Vosges. Let the city unfold at its own rhythm, and give yourself over to the kind of unhurried delight that only Paris in winter can offer.
INSIDER’S NOTE: A FEW PARISIAN TOUCHES FOR THE DISCERNING TRAVELER
Beyond the festive glow of Christmas markets, Paris unfolds in layers of grandeur. The Versailles Palace dazzles with its gilded salons and mirrored opulence, while a Seine River cruise reveals a different kind of enchantment—landmarks bathed in golden light, their reflections dancing on the water. The Louvre Museum whispers of artistic mastery, and the soaring silhouette of Notre-Dame Cathedral carries echoes of centuries past. And in the quiet warmth of a Parisian café, where the air is fragrant with roasted coffee and buttery pastries, the spirit of the city lingers, an unspoken invitation to pause, savor and truly belong.
SAY IT LIKE A PARISIAN: A HOLIDAY PHRASEBOOK
Slip these expressions into market conversations and warm the hearts of local artisans
• Jo yeux Noël – Merry Christmas
• Un vin chaud, s’il vous plaît – A mulled wine, please
• C ’est fait main? – Is it handmade?
• C ’est magnifique! – It’s magnificent!
A FINALE WRAPPED IN LIGHT
Ultimately, what makes Paris during Noël unforgettable isn’t just the spectacle; it’s the feeling. The way the city softens. Strangers greet each other in bakeries with a soft “bonnes fêtes.” Children’s laughter blends with classical music on narrow streets.
For all its splendor, winter might just be the city’s best-kept secret. With fewer crowds and more approachable prices, December gives visitors front-row access to a version of Paris that feels more intimate, more generous. Picture yourself wandering through the Eiffel Tower Christmas Market along the Quai Branly, sipping mulled wine as you explore rows of fairy-lit stalls filled with hand-painted ornaments and regional delicacies. Feel the festive spirit come alive at the whimsical winter carnival in the Tuileries Garden, or dive into the buzz of La Défense Marché de Noël—the largest market in the Paris region, where more than 300 chalets await discovery. In a world where holidays too often blur into obligation, Paris Noël offers something richer: a celebration of light, love and craftsmanship. It invites you to pause and fall in love not just with the city, but with the art of winter itself!
Traveling to Paris during the holiday season offers an extraordinary journey, promising unique experiences that captivate the senses and inspire the heart. Paris invites travelers to immerse themselves in its rich culture and timeless charm, crafting memories that last a lifetime.
Travel Leaders can help plan the perfect holiday trip to Paris. Visit www. gotravelleaders.com. Coming soon, Travel Leaders' new office will be located at 1125 Poplar View Lane #3, Collierville, TN 38017, and will be open by appointment only. Call 901.377.6600 or 901.853.6200 to set up a time to plan a dream vacation. Owned by Barbara May, Travel Leaders has been creating dream vacations for over 39 years. The agency specializes in all types of travel.
Alzheimer's:Understanding A Guide for Caregivers Part 1 of 2
STORY BY MICHELLE JOHNS MA, LPC-MHSP (TEMP), NCC, 200 HR E-RTY, 500 HR RYT
In early June my mother-in-law passed away peacefully 10 years after her Alzheimer’s diagnosis. The last ten years have been a journey of ups and downs, tears and laughter, stress and gratitude—marked by phone calls in the early morning hours (pre sunlight), difficult decisions, sacred moments of connection and the quiet heartbreak of watching someone you love become a completely different version of themselves.
My mother-in-law was full of energy, curious and always in motion. She traveled across the ocean to collect antiques, bringing them home to either treasure for herself, sell or gift to her children for them to enjoy in their homes. She loved to garden, and her gardens were among the most beautiful I have ever seen. Her home and gardens were a reflection of her creativity and care.
She was the mother of four boys and yet I felt like a daughter to her as much as my husband was her son. She loved having us visit her at her home on the coast of Maine.
As her disease progressed, she continued to love the things she always loved, but with a different kind of expression. I was often in awe of the ways she kept moving through life with so much energy. She constantly moved with purpose, cutting flowers from her overflowing gardens, browsing the local shops for trinkets and arranging flowers in every room.
Just last year she was still reading signs and cards and she understood the meaning of every word. Though she no longer remembered my name or how we were
connected she seemed to know I was familiar. In that space of knowing and unknowing we learned to love her as she was and not as she had been.
These last ten years have been a season of learning to let go and embrace. To release expectations and receive what each moment brought. To mourn changes and still find joy in what remained.
Following are a couple of personal moments that capture what it meant for us to let go of expectations and embrace what was:
PROCREATION
One evening my husband (we have been married 28 years) and I were sitting on the sofa in my mother-in-law’s library. We were talking with her and she said, “When are you going to procreate?”
We giggled. First of all, I have never heard her use the word procreate when referring to having children. Secondly, we have three adult children, and at the time three grandchildren.
Rather than getting our feelings hurt and feeling sad, we joyfully answered her question. “We have. We have three children.”
She responded with surprise, “You do?”
We continued to tell her about our children.
YOU’RE WELCOME TO STAY HERE
While we were visiting my mother-in-law she would often say to us, “You’re welcome to stay here with me. I have rooms upstairs.” Rather than act as if she should remember we were staying with her, we would respond kindly, “That sounds great. Thank you.”
One night, she forgot we were at her home.
We were upstairs getting ready for bed with the door closed. Her home, built in the late 1800s, has bedroom doors that do not have locks and often don’t close tightly. For safety and privacy, I would put a chair in front of the door to prevent it from being opened unexpectedly.
As we were preparing the bed, removing decorative pillows and placing them in a chair, she suddenly kicked the door open and said, “Why are you in my house? What are you doing?”
We were taken aback, but we responded with care. “You invited us to stay the night, and we’re getting the bed ready. Is that still ok with you?”
She paused, trying to make sense of the situation. Instead of answering she shifted the conversation. “How would you feel if someone came in your home and moved things around?” (referring to the pillows)
I responded, “I might not be happy about that either. Where would you like us to put these pillows? What would you like for us to do?”
We navigated the situation by offering her choices and respecting her need for control of her home, knowing the moment would pass and we would be able to move forward.
QUALITY OF LIFE
Last summer, I was feeling overwhelmed by the state of her being. There were a few things that left me unsettled, like watching her cut what seemed like every blooming flower in her gardens and place them in vases all over her home.
She resisted our help in cleaning her house even as it became clear she was not able to care for her home as she once had. She didn’t often see the need to change clothes, and gentle reminders were usually met with strong resistance. It was one of the many ways her sense of routine and self-care had shifted, even as she continued to move through her days with purpose.
At the time, I viewed these behaviors as a loss of quality of life, and to some extent, I wasn’t wrong. I said to my husband, “It’s sad
to see her quality of life diminished.”
My husband said, “I don’t know what you mean. Her quality of life is fine. She is happy. She does not feel diminished. She moves throughout her day doing things she loves. We may be stressed by some things she does, but she is happy.”
He was right. His perspective was a beautiful reflection of his love and care for his mother. His perspective was helpful for me and what I needed to hear. It helped shift my perspective—easing my stress, giving me clarity and reminding me how to navigate those moments with more grace.
Embracing her as she was meant taking her out to places, like dinner, even when she refused to change clothes; knowing we might be judged as caregivers yet still showing up with her with love and acceptance. It meant honoring autonomy without causing a fight and choosing wisely the places where that was not possible with grace and respect for her dignity. It meant not trying to change what was inevitable, but learning to navigate it with patience, tenderness and courage.
This month, I wanted to begin with the personal because before statistics and treatments, there are real people and families living in the day-to-day reality of this disease. The best way to live is with acceptance, love and kindness.
Next month, I’ll shift the focus to share what I’ve learned about the history and limitations of Alzheimer’s research—why, after more than a century of study, so much remains unknown, and why we still find ourselves without real answers even as diagnoses continue to rise. In fact, from 2024 to 2025 alone, the number of Americans aged 65 and older living with Alzheimer’s increased from 6.9 million to 7.2 million.
Also, I would love to hear from you. What topics would you like to read more about? Message me at mjohns@transformingwellness.com
Stronger Bones, Sharper Minds: A Conversation with Dr. Sonia Eden, Neurosurgeon
Text and Photos Courtesy of Katrina Duff
DRAWING from her unique perspective
as a neurosurgeon, advocate for health equity and primary caretaker for her nonagenarian mother, Dr. Sonia Eden offers compelling reasons why every woman, at any age, should consider lifting weights.
“We’re given one spine in this life,” says Dr. Eden. “A spine that ages over time. While some of the spinal concerns we treat are genetic, we overwhelmingly see things that could be mitigated by maintaining proper back mechanics and strengthening the back and core muscles to take pressure off of the spine.”
For women in particular, prioritizing strength training is crucial. It offers profound benefits in preserving memory, combating osteoporosis and maintaining vital spine health throughout life.
MOVEMENT AS BRAIN FUEL
Dr. Eden strongly believes that movement is important for maintaining cognitive function. Fellow neuroscientist Wendy Suzuki’s research in the field has shown that movement releases a brain-derived
neurotrophic factor (BDNF) that directly targets the memory areas of the brain, helping to keep brain cells young and functioning well.
“People who move their entire lives have better memory, better mood as they age and less anxiety than those who do not exercise,” notes Dr. Eden. These benefits are accessible to anyone and don’t cost a dime, she adds. Activities like walking and core exercise can significantly impact health, increase life expectancy and reduce the risk of memory problems.
“I got my work ethic from my mom, Ms. Doris LaGrone,” says Dr. Eden. “As a single mom, she always worked two jobs, and would often say ‘I have two jobs, one for myself, and one for the husband I don’t have.’ She frequently worked 12-14 hour days, and was on her feet most of the time. Retirement at the age of 83 meant that all that builtin movement stopped. I needed to find something else to keep her going.
“She’s now 91 years old with dementia, but my mom’s memory problems don’t have to mean an end to her great quality of life. What started as three to four days a week with a
trainer is now a routine—I can’t tell you the last time she refused to work out. She now exercises six days a week (taking Saturday off), and can even deadlift 150 pounds.”
COMBATING OSTEOPOROSIS
Weight-bearing exercises directly improve bone health and delay the onset of osteoporosis. Recent studies have shown improved bone mineral density after as little as six months of consistent resistance training, particularly in critical areas such as the lumbar spine and femur, which are most affected by osteoporosis. Considering that women are four times more likely to develop osteoporosis than men, it is imperative that they make weightbearing exercise a priority.
As we age, the alignment of the spine changes and becomes more kyphotic, or rounded, particularly in the upper back. This is especially true for women, as osteoporosis significantly contributes to spinal rounding. Exercise, specifically weightbearing movements, can reduce kyphosis and improve spinal alignment.
“I want my mother to have the best quality of life possible for the rest of her time here,” says Dr. Eden. “My mom does all this strength training to keep her moving, to combat osteoporosis and to make sure that her muscles can support her so she could get up if she were to fall.”
BETTER QUALITY OF LIFE
Strength training is a lifelong tool for health, autonomy and resilience. With its role in preventing osteoporosis, supporting spinal
health and preserving cognitive function, lifting weights offers women a scientifically grounded way to invest in their future. As Ms. LaGrone demonstrates, it’s never too late to start, and the benefits extend far beyond the gym. By embracing strength training, women can add years to their lives and life to their years.
Dr. Eden is a board-certified neurosurgeon at Semmes Murphey Clinic, co-founder of the American Society of Black Neurosurgeons (ASBN), and caretaker for her mother, Ms. Doris LaGrone.
Dr. Eden is also on the board of the Memphis Brooks Art Museum.
Bourbon Slush
RECIPE BY MARGARET MONGER
I LOVE OLD RECIPE BOOKS AND READING THEM OVER AND OVER. I ALWAYS FIND A NEW RECIPE AND WONDER HOW I HAVE MISSED IT OVER THE YEARS. THIS IS NO EXCEPTION. THE FIRST TIME I MADE THIS WAS FOR GUESTS AT OUR HOUSE IN HARDY, AR. THERE IS NOTHING QUITE LIKE SIPPING A FROZEN LIBATION ON THE SPRING RIVER IN AUGUST, WAITING TO WELCOME FOOTBALL SEASON!
ONE GUEST, IN PARTICULAR, SWORE SHE HATED BOURBON BUT, BEING THE BAD INFLUENCE I AM, SHE DECIDED TO TRY IT TO SHUT ME UP. WELL,
THREE DRINKS LATER, I HAD TO CONVINCE HER SHE HAD HAD ENOUGH. IT’S BEEN A BIG HIT EVER SINCE AND WE NOW HAVE A TWO DRINK LIMIT, ALTHOUGH NO ONE PAYS ATTENTION TO IT. IT STORES EASILY IN THE FREEZER BUT WE SELDOM HAVE ANY LEFT! I AM GIVING YOU THE RECIPE AS IT IS IN THE BOOK, BUT I ONLY USE HALF A CUP OF SUGAR AND ADD A SPLASH OF SPRITE TO THE GLASS AT THE END FOR A BIT OF SPARKLE.
INGREDIENTS
6 CUPS HOT BREWED TEA
1 CUP GRANULATED SUGAR
1 (12-OZ.) CAN FROZEN LEMONADE CONCENTRATE
6 OZ. FROZEN ORANGE JUICE CONCENTRATE
2 CUPS BOURBON
INSTRUCTIONS
BREW THE TEA AND ADD THE SUGAR TO DISSOLVE WHILE IT IS HOT. LET IT COOL THEN ADD THE FROZEN JUICE CONCENTRATES AND THE BOURBON. FREEZE AT LEAST 8-10 HOURS. (I FREEZE IT OVERNIGHT SO IT IS GOOD TO GO AFTER LUNCH!)
SERVE WITH GOOD OLD SOUTHERN NIBBLES SUCH AS CANDIED BACON, CHEESE STRAWS OR JUST A GROWN-UP LUNCHABLE, AKA CHARCUTERIE. CHEERS!
