MAMA SAID ...
Adolescence Ain’t for the Weak BY JEN HOLMAN
I
grew up in a rural Arkansas town so small, middle school didn’t exist. Two parallel brick buildings housed kindergarten through sixth, and seventh through 12th grades. The entire school shared a library, a cafeteria, a counselor. I know hindsight is 20/20, but I remember very little pre-teen drama. The horror stories about middle school transcend time and towns, though. The years spent in middle school are the worst of many lives; people cringe at the mere mention of the words. With no experience of my own, I find myself parenting a middle schooler from scratch. It’s not just a new chapter in our lives; it’s a whole new world. I need help, and fast. Middle school is a time for transition, and by transition I mean big, hairy changes. Our kids are not just dealing with new schools and new friends, but new bodies, new feelings. And right smack in the middle of puberty we uproot them from the safety of their elementary schools, where they’re the kings and queens, and thrust them into an unfamiliar building full of strangers. As if keeping their hormones in check and themselves together isn’t hard enough, now they have to navigate new teachers, social structures and lockers. Literally everything is different, but as parents we expect them to remain the same. When our happy-go-lucky sidekicks suddenly become prickly hermits who shut their bedroom doors and only surface when forced for dinner, it’s easy to take it personally. But learning this distance is just a casualty of increased independence, of leaving childhood behind, can relieve a worried parent’s mind. It’s just one of many normal developmental milestones. Navigating change in friendships and social groups can be hard on kids, too. When a handful of small elementary schools are combined to form one big middle school, friend groups and hierarchies are upended. I’ve
“When our happy-go-lucky sidekicks suddenly become prickly hermits who shut their bedroom doors and only surface when forced for dinner, it’s easy to take it personally. ”
12 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM
