SAVVYkids | February 2020

FEBRUARY 2020 · SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

Building A Bonus Family Learning to cohabitate with stepparents

SOUP FOR THE SOUL

PROTECTING TINY TEETH

VALENTINE'S DAY TREATS

THE HEART OF THE MATTER

Fetal Heart Checks for Baby Before Birth

F

ebruary is American Heart Month, so it’s an ĂƉƉƌŽƉƌŝĂƚĞ ƟŵĞ ƚŽ ƚŚŝŶŬ ĂďŽƵƚ ŽƵƌ ŬŝĚƐ͛ ŚĞĂƌƚ ŚĞĂůƚŚ͘ DĂŶLJ ŚĞĂƌƚ ĚĞĨĞĐƚƐ ĂƌĞ ĚĞƚĞĐƚĞĚ ďĞĨŽƌĞ Ă ĐŚŝůĚ ŝƐ ďŽƌŶ ƵƐŝŶŐ ĨĞƚĂů ĞĐŚŽĐĂƌĚŝŽŐƌĂŵƐ ;ĞĐŚŽͿ͘ ĨĞƚĂů ĞĐŚŽ ŝƐ Ă ƐƉĞĐŝĂůŝnjĞĚ ƚLJƉĞ ŽĨ ƉƌĞŶĂƚĂů ƵůƚƌĂƐŽƵŶĚ ƵƐĞĚ ƚŽ ůŽŽŬ Ăƚ ƚŚĞ ƐƚƌƵĐƚƵƌĞ ŽĨ ƚŚĞ ŚĞĂƌƚ ŽĨ Ă ĚĞǀĞůŽƉŝŶŐ ďĂďLJ͘

When are fetal echos recommended for expectant mothers?

•

• • • •

/Ĩ ƚŚĞ ŵŽƚŚĞƌ ŚĂƐ ĂůƌĞĂĚLJ ŚĂĚ Ă ĐŚŝůĚ ďŽƌŶ ǁŝƚŚ Ă ŚĞĂƌƚ ĚĞĨĞĐƚ͘ /Ĩ ƚŚĞƌĞ ŝƐ Ă ĨĂŵŝůLJ ŚŝƐƚŽƌLJ ŽĨ ŐĞŶĞƟĐ ŚĞĂƌƚ ƉƌŽďůĞŵƐ͘ /Ĩ ƚŚĞ ŵŽƚŚĞƌ ŚĂƐ Ă ŚĞĂůƚŚ ĐŽŶĚŝƟŽŶ ƐƵĐŚ ĂƐ ĚŝĂďĞƚĞƐ͕ ĂƵƚŽŝŵŵƵŶĞ ĚŝƐŽƌĚĞƌƐ͕ ŐĞŶĞƟĐ ĐŽŶĚŝƟŽŶƐ Žƌ ĞdžƉŽƐƵƌĞ ƚŽ ĐĞƌƚĂŝŶ ŵĞĚŝĐĂƟŽŶƐ͘ /Ĩ ƚŚĞ ďĂďLJ ŚĂƐ Ă ŐĞŶĞƟĐ ĚŝƐŽƌĚĞƌ͘ /Ĩ ƚŚĞ ƌŽƵƟŶĞ ƵůƚƌĂƐŽƵŶĚ ƐŚŽǁƐ Ă ƉŽƐƐŝďůĞ ĂďŶŽƌŵĂůŝƚLJ Žƌ ŝĨ ƚŚĞ ďĂďLJ͛Ɛ ŚĞĂƌƚ ĐĂŶ͛ƚ ďĞ ƐĞĞŶ ǁĞůů͘

When is a fetal echo done?

ĨĞƚĂů ĞĐŚŽ ŝƐ ƵƐƵĂůůLJ ƉĞƌĨŽƌŵĞĚ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ƐĞĐŽŶĚ ƚƌŝŵĞƐƚĞƌ ŽĨ ƉƌĞŐŶĂŶĐLJ ;ϭϴ ƚŽ Ϯϰ ǁĞĞŬƐͿ͘ /Ŷ ƐŽŵĞ ĐĂƐĞƐ͕ ŝƚ ŵĂLJ ďĞ ƉĞƌĨŽƌŵĞĚ ĞĂƌůŝĞƌ ƚŽ ůŽŽŬ Ăƚ ƚŚĞ ŚĞĂƌƚ͕ ďƵƚ ŝƚ ŵĂLJ ŶĞĞĚ ƚŽ ďĞ ƌĞƉĞĂƚĞĚ ĂƐ ƚŚĞ ďĂďLJ ĚĞǀĞůŽƉƐ͘

About the Fetal Heart Center at Arkansas Children’s Hospital

dŚĞ &ĞƚĂů ,ĞĂƌƚ ĞŶƚĞƌ͕ ƉĂƌƚ ŽĨ dŚĞ ,ĞĂƌƚ ĞŶƚĞƌ Ăƚ ƌŬĂŶƐĂƐ ŚŝůĚƌĞŶ͛Ɛ ,ŽƐƉŝƚĂů͕ ŝŶĐůƵĚĞƐ ƉĞĚŝĂƚƌŝĐ ĐĂƌĚŝŽůŽŐŝƐƚƐ͕ ŶƵƌƐĞƐ ĂŶĚ ƐŽŶŽŐƌĂƉŚĞƌƐ ǁŝƚŚ ĞdžƉĞƌƟƐĞ ŝŶ ĨĞƚĂů ĐĂƌĚŝĂĐ ŝŵĂŐŝŶŐ ĂŶĚ ĐŽŶŐĞŶŝƚĂů ŚĞĂƌƚ ĚĞĨĞĐƚƐ͘ tĞ ǁŽƌŬ ƚŽŐĞƚŚĞƌ ǁŝƚŚ ŽƚŚĞƌ ƐƵďƐƉĞĐŝĂůƟĞƐ ŝŶĐůƵĚŝŶŐ DĂƚĞƌŶĂů &ĞƚĂů DĞĚŝĐŝŶĞ͕ EĞŽŶĂƚŽůŽŐLJ͕ WĞĚŝĂƚƌŝĐ ĂƌĚŝŽǀĂƐĐƵůĂƌ ^ƵƌŐĞƌLJ͕ WĞĚŝĂƚƌŝĐ ^ƵƌŐĞƌLJ ĂŶĚ 'ĞŶĞƟĐƐ͕ ƚŽ ƉƌŽǀŝĚĞ LJŽƵ ǁŝƚŚ ƚŚĞ ŵŽƐƚ ĐŽŵƉƌĞŚĞŶƐŝǀĞ ƉƌĞŶĂƚĂů ĐĂƌĞ ĨŽƌ LJŽƵƌ ƵŶďŽƌŶ ĐŚŝůĚ͘ • , ŚĂƐ ƚŚĞ ŽŶůLJ ƉĞĚŝĂƚƌŝĐ ĞĐŚŽĐĂƌĚŝŽŐƌĂƉŚLJ ůĂď ŝŶ ƌŬĂŶƐĂƐ ĂĐĐƌĞĚŝƚĞĚ ďLJ ƚŚĞ /ŶƚĞƌƐŽĐŝĞƚĂů ŽŵŵŝƐƐŝŽŶ ĨŽƌ ƚŚĞ ĐĐƌĞĚŝƚĂƟŽŶ ŽĨ ĐŚŽĐĂƌĚŝŽŐƌĂƉŚLJ >ĂďŽƌĂƚŽƌŝĞƐ ;/ >Ϳ͘ • , ĐƌĞĂƚĞĚ ƚŚĞ ĐŚŽ /ŶƚĞƌƉƌĞƚĂƟŽŶ EĞƚǁŽƌŬ Ͳ ďƌŝŶŐŝŶŐ ƉĞĚŝĂƚƌŝĐ ĐĂƌĚŝĂĐ ĐĂƌĞ ƚŽ ŵŽƌĞ ŚŽƐƉŝƚĂůƐ ĂŶĚ ƉŚLJƐŝĐŝĂŶƐ ĂƌŽƵŶĚ ƚŚĞ ƐƚĂƚĞ͘

1,000–1,300 echo studies

ƌĞĂĚ ŵŽŶƚŚůLJ Ăƚ , ;ŝŶĐůƵĚŝŶŐ ĨĞƚĂů ĞĐŚŽͿ

1 out of 100 babies

ďŽƌŶ ĞĂĐŚ LJĞĂƌ ŚĂƐ Ă ŚĞĂƌƚ ĚĞĨĞĐƚ ;ŝŶĐůƵĚŝŶŐ ŵŝŶŽƌ ĚĞĨĞĐƚƐ ƐƵĐŚ ĂƐ ŚĞĂƌƚ ŵƵƌŵƵƌƐͿ

The cardiac team at Arkansas Children’s Hospital understands parents’ concerns and the importance of diagnosing heart problems early – even before your baby’s birth.

For more information about the Fetal Heart Center, visit archildrens.org/HeartCenter or call 501-364-1479.

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FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

PBIS Improving Behavior Patterns at PCSSD Schools Pulaski County Special School District is integrating two new frameworks into district-wide practices. PBIS, Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports, is a preventive framework which utilizes the Response to Intervention (RTI) model.

This three-tier approach to enhance academics and social behavior outcomes for all students.

“PBIS and are an extension of our RTI approach that can improve upon and enhance our efforts in reaching our students where they are,” said PCSSD Superintendent Charles McNulty. “We will continue to work tirelessly to build a culture of inclusion and community throughout the Pulaski County Special School District.”

PBIS changes the focus to prevention from punishment to improve school safety and promote positive behavior with the understanding that kids can only meet behavior expectations if they know what the expectations are. Schools will still respond to inappropriate behavior, but the punishment isn’t the focus - instead the focus is on teaching expectations and prevention of inappropriate behavior.

RTI provides struggling learners with interventions at increasing levels of intensity to accelerate their rate of learning. Components of the process include high quality, scientifically based classroom instructions, ongoing student assessment, tiered instruction and parent involvement in order to address each student’s specific needs.

All schools have developed three to five behavioral expectations that can be applied throughout the school building. For example, all of the Maumelle Feeder Schools have the behavior acronym of SWARM.

S W A R M

Successful Winning Attitude Accountable Respectful Motivated

SWARM is being implemented across ALL settings such as the cafeteria, hallway, bathroom, playground/common areas, etc.

When asked, 96% of the students could explain their school’s behavioral expectations and what it meant for their school.

Currently, nearly three quarters of schools in PCSSD are at a 70% or higher level of PBIS implementation in the building. According to the schoolwide PBIS (also known as SWPBIS) Tiered Fidelity Inventory , a score of 70% or higher is accepted as an implementation level that will result in improved student outcomes.

The purpose of the SWPBIS Tiered Fidelity Inventory is to provide a valid, reliable, and efficient measure of the extent to which school personnel are applying the core features of school-wide positive behavioral interventions and supports. Each school’s PBIS team is administering the SWPBIS Tiered Fidelity Inventory to help improve the implementation of PBIS.

purpose.pcssd.org

501.234.2000 SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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FEBRUARY 2020

BUILDING A BONUS FAMILY ON PAGE 14!

5 EDITOR’S NOTE 8 ADVENTURE & FUN CALENDAR, CRAFTS & MORE!

12 MAMA SAID ...

ADOLESCENCE AIN’T FOR THE WEAK — JEN HOLMAN

14 FAMILY & PARENTING BUILDING A BONUS FAMILY

20 GOOD EATS

THE WAY TO A KID’S HEART …

28 EXPLORE & LEARN SOUP FOR THE SOUL

32 HEALTH & WELLNESS MATTERS OF THE HEART

36 PROTECTING TINY TEETH

WATCH OUT FOR THESE HIDDEN DENTAL DANGERS

38 MEET THE PARENT ADORA CURRY

VALENTINE'S DAY PARTY RECIPES PAGE 20

HEART ART ON PAGE 10

ON THE COVER: BETH AND JOSH GRAHAM WITH KATE NILLES AND KARR GRAHAM PHOTO BY LUCY BAEHR

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FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

Photo by Stacy Kinzler

Spread the Love Love is in the air at SAVVYkids. Love for our kids and our families, which come in all shapes and sizes. Families are hard work — rarely does it all just come together seamlessly. Even families who look like they’ve got it all together on the outside probably argue, fight, don’t clean up their rooms, skip school, talk back (they have to be human, right?). And families who are formed from second marriages, who bring stepsiblings, stepparents and co-parenting hurdles to navigate, come with their own set of challenges. Our February cover story takes a look inside the life of the blended family of Beth and Josh Graham, who open up about the rewards and challenges of making their blended family work. Turn to page 14 to meet the family and get advice from a counselor on everything from guiding kids through a divorce to the importance of cultivating good one-on-one relationships within the stepfamily.

There’s no better month to celebrate love, and Zara Abbasi holds nothing back in her Good Eats column focused on Valentine’s Day parties. Check out her sweet and savory party food ideas and a tablescape decked out in goods from Party City on page 20 to recreate her kid-friendly celebration of love.

While we’re on the subject of love, nothing is better to stir up those warm fuzzy feelings than helping other families in need. On page 28 we spotlight Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families and their upcoming event, Soup Sunday. Get the dish on what you’ll find at this soup-centric fundraiser and learn about a few other nonprofits that work hard to help kids and families in need.

Whether it’s through creating homemade art together (find an easy DIY on page 10), volunteering as a family or just doing a better job of connecting as a family unit (blended or not), we hope this issue inspires you and your little ones to spread the love!

Amy Gordy Editor, SAVVYkids amy@arktimes.com

SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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Arkansas Times Special Publications has a position open in Advertising Sales.

If you have sales experience and enjoy the fast-paced, crazy world of advertising sales, we’d like to talk to you.

We have a variety of magazines including SAVVYkids, Bike Arkansas and Arkansas Wild, that can result in high-income potential for a hard working advertising executive.

Fast paced and self-motivated individuals are encouraged to apply. Sales experience is preferred.

Email Brooke@arktimes.com to apply.

PUBLISHER BROOKE WALLACE | brooke@arktimes.com EDITOR AMY GORDY | amy@arktimes.com CREATIVE DIRECTOR MANDY KEENER ART DIRECTOR | DIGITAL MANAGER KATIE HASSELL SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE LESA THOMAS PRODUCTION MANAGER | CONTROLLER WELDON WILSON ADVERTISING TRAFFIC MANAGER ROLAND R. GLADDEN ADVERTISING ART DIRECTOR MIKE SPAIN GRAPHIC DESIGNER SARAH HOLDERFIELD

LOOKING FOR MORE SAVVYKIDS?

DIRECTOR OF MARKETING & EVENT PLANNING LUCY BAEHR DIRECTOR OF DIGITAL STRATEGY JORDAN LITTLE PHOTOGRAPHER BRIAN CHILSON IT DIRECTOR ROBERT CURFMAN ACCOUNTING CHARLOTTE KEY CIRCULATION DIRECTOR ANITRA HICKMAN PRESIDENT ALAN LEVERITT

©2020 ARKANSAS TIMES LIMITED PARTNERSHIP 201 E. MARKHAM ST., SUITE 200 LITTLE ROCK, AR 72201 501-375-2985

FIND US ON

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FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

contributors ZARA ABBASI lives in Little Rock with her husband and three children. She is a licensed attorney, but you know her better as Little Rock’s friendly pastry chef and custom cake maker. She keeps busy with dessert orders, pop-up dinners, writing articles and doing anything food-related.

Follow her on Instagram @Zaramadeit for her newest cake creations and dinner ideas.

KATIE CHILDS is a wedding, lifestyle and commercial photographer based in North Little Rock. When she's not behind the camera, Katie, her husband, Jon, and their new addition, baby Jonas, can be found traveling the U.S. in a DIY camper van.

DWAIN HEBDA is a writer and editor living in Little Rock. He and his wife, Darlene, are the parents of four grown children. The empty-nesters spend their time traveling, working out and spoiling their two dogs.

JEN HOLMAN is doing her best right now, OK? She lives in Little Rock with her husband and three children, striking that delicate balance between inspiration and frustration.

She’s written five novels, one of which won a Rosemary Award for excellence in young adult fiction.

ANGELA E. THOMAS is a proud University of Arkansas at Little Rock graduate and a member of its Alumni Board. For 11 years, she served Central Arkansas as editor for a locally owned magazine. Thomas is founder and owner of the greeting card company GODsent Greetings.

MELISSA TUCKER spends her days working in web marketing. When not at work, you'll probably find her at the gym, on the playground with her kids or checking out too many books from the library.

SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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Photo by Laura Ockel on Unsplash

ADVENTURE & FUN

FEBRUARY 2020 Feb. 2-8

RHEA LANA'S FAMILY SHOPPING EVENT

Find deep discounts on hundreds of gently used items at this popular resale event at Shackleford Crossing. Find clothing in sizes infant-teen and maternity attire; shoes; baby equipment; furniture; toys, books, DVDs and electronics; bedding; and more. rhealana.com

Feb. 20-23

Feb. 13

CASA'S SEAFOOD BOIL Enjoy an evening of fun and fundraising for Pulaski County CASA, a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization serving children in Pulaski and Perry counties who have experienced abuse or neglect. Dine on a delicious seafood boil and enjoy two 16-ounce pours at Rebel Kettle Brewing Co. beginning at 6:30 p.m. Ticktets are $30. pulaskicountycasa.org

14 Valentine’s Day

‘CINDERELLA’

Catch one of four performances of Ballet Arkansas’s rendition of “Cinderella” at UAPTC CHARTS Theater. Perfect for families, this iconic ballet has a comedic twist, as well as drama and outstanding dancing. The Ballet Arkansas company will perform alongside a community cast of 40 dancers for this largescale production. balletarkansas.org

Feb. 22

SOMARDI GRAS PARADE

Laissez les bon temps rouler from noon until 5 p.m. along Main Street in the SOMA neighborhood. This annual Mardi Gras celebration starts at 24th Street and continues up Main to 12th Street.

The theme for this year is “The Rollin’ Twenties.” somalittlerock.com

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FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY

13 25

MARDI GRAS

Feb. 29-March 1

DATE NIGHT

LITTLE ROCK MARATHON

The city will be bustling as runners come from all over the world to participate in this exciting run named as one of the “Bucket List: 10 Great Marathons for FirstTimers” by Runner's World. Register for the Marathon, Half Marathon, 10K, 5K or Little Rockers Kids Marathon, and participate in the fun at any level to receive an impressive finisher’s medal. littlerockmarathon.com

Get a sitter and get out of the house for a much-needed date night. The local theater scene is thriving and offers plenty of entertaining productions.

Feb. 29

‘HARRY POTTER’ FEST

Dive into the magical world of the classic, best-selling “Harry Potter” series at Cental Arkansas Library System’s “Harry Potter” Fest beginning at 2 p.m. at the Fletcher branch. Come dressed as your favorite character; get sorted into a Hogwarts house; choose a wand; find a Patronus; attend Divination, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Care of Magical Creatures classes; and enjoy “Harry Potter”-themed food, beverages and more! This is a free drop-in event and all materials (except costumes) are provided while supplies last. cals.org

Feb. 23

SOUP SUNDAY

Warm up with a tasting of soups, breads and desserts by Little Rock’s most noteworthy restaurants at this annual fundraiser hosted by Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families from 4 to 7 p.m. at the Statehouse Convention Center.

Silent and live auctions, activities for the kids and live music will keep guests of all ages entertained. Individual adult tickets are $35; kids 5-17 $10; kids under 5 free. aradvocates.org

Feb. 21-23

‘WAITRESS’

Save room for pie at this award-winning Broadway musical at Robinson Center Performance Hall. Follow the story of Jenna, a waitress and expert pie-maker who dreams of a way out of her small town and rocky marriage. She enters a baking contest in a nearby county and embarks on a journey to write her own personal recipe for happiness. celebrityattractions.com

Feb. 29-March 1

MONSTER JAM

Get ready for a smashing good time at Simmons Bank Arena with Monster Jam. This action-packed event showcases drivers competing on the biggest sets of four wheels around. Enjoy monster truck racing and freestyle competitions at this family-friendly event. Don't forget the ear protection! simmonsbankarena.com

Through Feb. 23

‘ANN’

Tony Award-winner Elizabeth Ashley stars as the legendary Ann Richards in “Ann” at the Arkansas Repertory Theatre.

The show is a no-holds-barred glimpse at the bold governor who changed the face of Texas politics. therep.org

SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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ART SPACE

String Heart Art

Love is in the nail with this Valentine’s Day wall art

BY KATIE HASSELL

You will need:

Wood (we used a 10-by-10-inch finished wood plaque from the craft store) Printer paper Permanent marker 1-inch nails (we used all-purpose wood nails) Hammer Scissors Red yarn Heart design drawn or printed on paper

LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED...

BALLOONS & CANDY, TOO!

10 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

How to:

1. First, decide the size of art you want to make. You can build your own plaque or purchase one already made from the craft store.

2. Make a heart-shaped stencil. Fold a piece of printer paper in half. Using a permanent marker draw half a heart on the folded edge. Flip the paper over and draw the other half of the heart by tracing the shape from the first side. We used an 8-by-8-inch square.

3. Position the paper stencil and use some tape to secure it on the plaque.

4. Grab your hammer and nails. Hammer the nails all around your heart stencil. Try and keep the spacing and height of the nails consistent. The closer the nails are together the tighter the yarn weave will be.

5. Peel off the paper stencil.

6. Grab your yarn. Start by tying the yarn to the nail that makes up the bottom point of the heart. Leave an inch or two of extra yarn.

7. Take the yarn all the way around the outside of the nails. When you get to the middle inside point, loop the yarn around the nail and continue around the outside of the shape back down to the bottom point.

8. Start weaving the yarn from one nail to the next.

There’s no real pattern. Just make sure to get every nail and even coverage.

9. Once done weaving, bring the yarn back down to the bottom point nail and tie it off with the extra yarn left in the beginning. Once the yarn is secure, cut off the excess.

RED HEART BALLOONS

99¢ EACH

WHEN YOU BUY 12 OR MORE

REG. $1.99 EACH

11218 PARHAM RD. / LITTLE 1 1218N.N.RODNEY RODNEY PARHAM RD.ROCK / LR 501.223.4929 501.223.4929

4822 N. HILLSN. BLVD. / NORTH LITTLE 4822 HILLS BLVD. / ROCK NLR 501.978.3154 501.978.3154

SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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MAMA SAID ...

Adolescence Ain’t for the Weak

BY JEN HOLMAN

I

grew up in a rural Arkansas town so small, middle school didn’t exist. Two parallel brick buildings housed kindergarten through sixth, and seventh through 12th grades. The entire school shared a library, a cafeteria, a counselor. I know hindsight is 20/20, but I remember very little pre-teen drama.

The horror stories about middle school transcend time and towns, though. The years spent in middle school are the worst of many lives; people cringe at the mere mention of the words.

With no experience of my own, I find myself parenting a middle schooler from scratch. It’s not just a new chapter in our lives; it’s a whole new world. I need help, and fast.

Middle school is a time for transition, and by transition I mean big, hairy changes. Our kids are not just dealing with new schools and new friends, but new bodies, new feelings. And right smack in the middle of puberty we uproot them from the safety of their elementary schools, where they’re the kings and queens, and thrust them into an unfamiliar building full of strangers. As if keeping their hormones in check and themselves together isn’t hard enough, now they have to navigate new teachers, social structures and lockers. Literally everything is different, but as parents we expect them to remain the same.

When our happy-go-lucky sidekicks suddenly become prickly hermits who shut their bedroom doors and only surface when forced for dinner, it’s easy to take it personally. But learning this distance is just a casualty of increased independence, of leaving childhood behind, can relieve a worried parent’s mind. It’s just one of many normal developmental milestones.

Navigating change in friendships and social groups can be hard on kids, too. When a handful of small elementary schools are combined to form one big middle school, friend groups and hierarchies are upended. I’ve

“When our happy-go-lucky sidekicks suddenly become prickly hermits who shut their bedroom doors and only surface when forced for dinner, it’s easy to take it personally. ”

12 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

heard over and over the same story of close friends — boys and girls — leaving elementary together, and one feeling left behind as the other joins a new friend group. It’s a natural, normal time for change, but that doesn’t mean those changes aren’t painful.

Friendships, independence, puberty, bullying, boundaries, bad influences, body images — it’s all so overwhelming and scary. What can we do to help these pre-teen strangers transition from our babies to kind, confident young people? What can we do to help ourselves? No matter how many books we read we can’t protect our children from hardships and conflict. We shouldn’t even want to. They need those experiences as practice at being adults. But there are things we can do to help them weather some of the larger storms. I’ve been reading “Queen Bees and Wannabes,” a New York Times best-selling book by Rosalind Wiseman. The basis for the film (and play) “Mean Girls,” this book is so very enlightening, and I recommend it to any parents of daughters fifth grade and up. I wish I’d read it before my middle schooler took the big leap.

“Queen Bees and Wannabes” not only breaks down the varying roles girls play in cliques and reveals the often-baffling motivations of middle schoolers, it also helps us as parents check our own baggage. To me, it has offered invaluable insight on how to help (or not help) my child navigate social pressures, friendships and boundaries. It offers suggestions, and even scripts, for how to deal with a number of tough situations.

I realize this is beginning to sound like a book review, but I am a parent adrift in the treacherous waters of middle school. I can’t captain this ship without a map and a compass. If you don’t right now, maybe you’ll need help soon, too, and when you do at least you’ll have another tool in your parenting toolbox. While we’re on the topic, “Untangled” by Lisa Damour, Ph.D., is an insightful guide for a girl’s transition to adolescence, and I’ve heard, “Masterminds and Wingmen,” also by Rosalind Wiseman, is a very good book for parents of boys.

My family is only in the beginning of our journey through adolescence. This first foray into middle school has proved a bit of a challenge though, honestly, I don’t know who it’s harder for — my child or me. But by educating myself and taking a step back, I’m realizing all of these changes are normal, healthy milestones on the way to young adulthood. We’ll be OK, but please send positive vibes this way as we deal with all this independence and angst.

UA-PTC CHARTS THEATER • FEB. 20-23, 2020

C INDE REL L A

& C I NDE RE L LA BALL

TICKETS AT BALLETARKANSAS.ORG OR 501-812-2710

SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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FAMILY & PARENTING

14 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

Building A Bonus Family

Learning to cohabitate with stepparents, stepsiblings and stepchildren can be messy, but there is a path to domestic harmony

BY MELISSA TUCKER PHOTOGRAPHY BY LUCY BAEHR

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f it seems like everyone you know is part of a blended family these days, maybe it’s because less than half of families are living in a traditional nuclear household, according to a Pew Research Center article from 2015.

“The declining share of children living in what is often deemed a ‘traditional’ family has been largely supplanted by the rising shares of children living with single or cohabiting parents.” Furthermore, when divorced couples remarry, “many, but not all, remarriages involve blended families,” the article said.

About half of remarriages have stepchildren who live with the new couple, according to data from the National Center for Health Statistics.

Beth and Josh Graham are one of these families, and they can attest to the daily struggles of making a blended family work. Even dating each other wasn’t easy because they initially had custody of their kids — an 8-year-old and a 12-year-old — on separate weekends.

BETH AND JOSH GRAHAM WITH KATE NILLES AND KARR GRAHAM SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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“Our dating process was hard to navigate because one of us had a child each weekend, and that took a lot of work and a lot of communication to figure out a way to make it work to where we had our kids on the same weekend,” Josh said.

“I’m working through my ex-wife and she’s working through her ex-husband and that affects the other kids.”

Beth and Josh married in 2017 and have mostly worked out the kinks. But it’s still not easy. These days, with their exes’ families, they have to coordinate vacations, doctor appointments, school events, and don’t even get them started on holidays.

“On Christmas Day, my son was with us that morning, then we had Beth’s family, and then we went to my family,” Josh said. “[Stepdaughter] Kate started with her dad that morning, then we got her when we went to see my family. We had both kids at one point, then we dropped my son off,” he said. “On Christmas Day alone we’re doing several different events and coordinating several families at once.”

Beth says communication is the key to making it all work.

“It’s the one thing that will make or break the relationship with the new family,” she said. “There’s going to be hardship having to deal with your ex, but you don’t want to bring that hardship into the new relationship and trying to be a new family while still dealing with the ex and trying to make that work.”

When Josh was 13, he gained a stepparent, so he can empathize with his son and also with his own parents.

“I was an only child, but my mom got married when I was 13. I have a stepbrother and a stepsister,” he said. “I was not happy about it, so I understand a lot of stuff my son is going through because I’ve been through it myself.”

Beth says she struggled early on learning to be a stepmom.

“It’s hard in the beginning being a parent to a kid that’s not yours who is used to a different parenting style,” she said. “So you’re also trying to figure out how to be a parent to them without them resenting you and being the evil stepparent.”

Many parents and families turn to counseling when working out these issues with divorce and remarriage. Elizabeth Knight, a Licensed Professional Counselor for the state of Arkansas and a school-based therapist with Methodist Family Health, says the most common issues she sees in families are hurt, anxiety and confusion.

BETH AND JOSH INCLUDED THEIR CHILDREN IN THEIR WEDDING ON JUNE 17, 2017

16 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

“It’s hard in the beginning being a parent to a kid that’s not yours who is used to a different parenting style,”

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“Structure means consistency and routine so the kids know what to expect and rules that are realistic and positive, she said. Communication should be healthy and positive, and whenever possible, each child should get one-on-one time with each member of the family to build relationships.”

Counseling helps because when expressing their thoughts with parents “kids might fear they will get in trouble or hurt someone’s feelings,” she said.

Many times children will feel like their parents’ divorce is their fault and blame themselves or question what role they played in the situation,” she said. “And there’s insecurities, fears and confusion about how to make a new family work.”

They will often internalize the situation, she said.

“From what I’ve seen, kids usually have their own sense of guilt and fears, and usually it’s something very simple,” she said. “‘I didn’t do a good job on my test and that’s why they got a divorce.’ It’s often something precious to their heart and something they considered very important to them at the time.”

Knight encourages families to be proactive in coming up with plans to help their children cope with changes at home. She emphasizes plans to provide structure, communication and conflict resolution.

“It’s best to have a plan in place for when things do get difficult,” she said.

“When kids have a hard day, you already know how you’re going to handle that as a parent so you’re not causing stress when things are already overwhelming.”

Structure means consistency and routine so the kids know what to expect and rules that are realistic and positive, she said. Communication should be healthy and positive, and whenever possible, each child should get one-on-one time with each member of the family to build relationships.

18 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

“Many times you are trying to build trust with the new family members but also to keep amazing quality time with your original family so your relationships stay strong and the kids feel seen and heard,” she said.

When it comes to conflict resolution, there are no hard and fast rules, but everyone should know what to expect.

“There are going to be fights, so take that as a learning opportunity for what went well and what didn’t,” she said. “Set some fighting rules, like we’re not going to leave the house, or go into a separate room. Rules for how to handle the conflict the most effectively.”

This does not include conflict between the ex-spouses, however, and Knight said those conversations should be held away from the children in a neutral place.

Many times parents need their own counseling sessions to be ready for these challenges.

“Parents may need to receive their own treatment so they can be the most effective parent, and so they can focus on the children instead of their own hurts,” she said. “They should make sure their own emotional and mental health is in a good place and have a good support system for themselves and their family.”

STEPFAMILY RESOURCE GUIDE Looking for more guidance to help your blended family? Check out these websites, books, podcasts and more!

• National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse fatherhood.gov/content/step-families

• National Stepfamily Resource Center stepfamilies.info/programs-services-links.php

• “The Smart Stepfamily” by Ron L. Deal • The Blended Family Podcast blendedfamilypodcast.com

• Hand-in-Hand Parenting

handinhandparenting.org/article/step-parentingblended-families/

SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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GOOD EATS

Valentine’s Day Charcuterie 20 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

The Way to a Kid’s Heart … …is through sweets and treats! Fill Valentine’s Day with sugary and savory snacks that are sure to create a love buzz at home or the class party.

BY ZARA ABBASI PHOTOGRAPHY BY KATIE CHILDS

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he holidays just keep coming, don’t they?! That can be a good and bad thing.

Good, because it helps us focus on fun things and celebrate life. Bad, because, well you know, it can be overwhelming and most of us are short on time as it is. Thankfully though, Valentine’s Day is not as exhaustive as its heavy-hitting predecessor: Christmas.

With Christmas out of the way, I’ve had a month to breathe and regroup and am actually ready to celebrate again. For me, it’s usually about the kids anyway. My husband and I don’t typically celebrate Valentine’s Day alone; we usually do a fun dinner with the kids and involve them in whatever we want to do. We make fun treats and get them chocolate and watch a movie and that’s all the celebration they need. It’s pretty fun and easy.

It’s only when the school parties come into play that ideas can come up short on what to do. Some schools have completely disallowed school parties and no outside food or treats can be brought in for the students. In those circumstances, there’s no option but to bring nonedible treats such as cute pencils, little boxes of slime (a parent’s dream come true … catch the sarcasm?), Play-doh or art sets. There are tons of cute options if that’s the route your kids’ school has requested.

If, however, your child attends a school where class parties and treats are still allowed, or is homeschooled, then the options are much more plentiful! Here, I’ll share a few fun and cute ideas that require minimal work, time and ingredients because, let’s face it, the kids will gobble it up in just a few seconds anyway.

SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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22 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

Cheese-Stuffed Hearts

If your child’s class has a full-on par-tay, then there’s a chance they’ll need savory foods to balance all the sweetness. This is as easy as the following recipe, and serves as a really cute snack.

I’ve made this often for my kiddos and it’s really versatile. I’ve turned it into a full lunch by stuffing shredded chicken in there, too. But for class purposes, I’d keep it simple and then serve with a little marinara on the side.

2 pieces premade pie dough 1 to 2 cups mozzarella or cheese of your choice Egg wash: 1 egg plus 2 teaspoons water Marinara sauce on the side to serve 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Roll out pie dough and use a heart-shaped cookie cutter to cut out an equal amount of hearts.

3. Use a tablespoon or two to put cheese in the center of one side of the heart.

4. Use a little egg wash with either a small pastry brush or your finger to go around the edges of the heart, and use another piece of heart dough to place on top. Press down on all the edges with a fork to completely seal the edges.

5. Place on a parchment-lined cookie sheet and bake for 10-15 minutes or until golden brown.

6. Allow to cool slightly because the cheese will be very hot inside. Serve with marinara sauce.

7. Alternatives: Stuff with chicken, cheese and pesto and serve with alfredo; stuff with cheese and pepperoni and serve with marinara sauce; stuff with cut-up grilled veggies and serve with marinara or alfredo sauce. Can also sprinkle garlic salt and oregano on tops before baking for a little extra flavor for older kiddos.

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STAYING SAFE WITHOUT LIVING IN FEAR

n today’s media-rich world we are bombarded with scary news about dangers near and far. Its no wonder people are searching for ways to be safer.

Many families are looking for protection methods that work as a substitute or supplement for deadly weapons. At Unity Martial Arts we break personal defense into three main activities: AWARENESS — Awareness is knowledge of risks you have gained in advance.

It’s important to know what the real dangers are around you and your family. For instance, many children are worried about terrorism and school shootings because of their news coverage, while distracted or impaired drivers are far more likely to do them harm. Determine locations, people and activities in your life that expose your family to risk. Then come up with a plan to minimize risks. For example, if you live in an apartment with two stairwells, take the one that has better lighting at night or that is more frequently used by neighbors, even if it means a few extra steps for you and your children.

If your kids walk to school, be aware of the route and make a plan with your child. Decide which children they should walk with, which adults should or shouldn’t talk to them along the way, and where safe places are if they are concerned.

ALERTNESS — After you are aware of situations that increase risks, you need to be alert. Alertness is using your senses to make on-the-spot decisions. For example, require children to remove headphones or Airpods when walking outside. Teach them to look up at people and cars rather than down at the phone or tablet. Your gut can use sights and sounds to prepare you for fight or flight even before you are conscious of nearby danger.

ANTICIPATE — Train your body to anticipate an attacker’s movements if things do go badly. You want your body to be prepared for escaping or fighting back. Have your family practice responses to attacks, grabs and other forms of aggression. Practice these moves and scenarios over and over again. The more they are etched into muscle memory, the better your body will recall them in moments of panic.

Our goal is not to be in a constant state of stressed-out combat readiness.

Instead we want to be aware of what is dangerous in our environment, alert to situations that may be developing, and avoid them before we’re stuck. If we can’t get away, we’ve anticipated responses through repeated practice and can act.

Unity offers a free self-defense seminar to the public every two months as well as five-week classes for people who want a little more. Check out our website or Facebook page to sign up for the next one!

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SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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Valentine’s Day Party ready!

Decor Courtesy of

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24 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

Valentine’s Day Charcuterie A charcuterie board may sound insanely bougie for kids, but if they like Lunchables they’ve already been primed to love the concept of a charcuterie board. I have many friends who homeschool their kids and instead of just staying in their own homes all day, they plan group activities or hold a class for many other homeschooled students. One particular friend is hosting this year’s Valentine’s Day party for her community’s homeschooled kiddos. She is the one I thought of for this particular concept.

If you decide to have an in-home party or card exchange, then this is an adorable idea to not only wow the kids, but use as a centerpiece because it looks so festive. The best thing about this board is that there is nothing to measure or bake (if you don’t want to). The magic is in the placement of all the goodies you choose.

You can make it a completely sweet board with your favorite cookies, candies and snacks or you can sneak in meats and cheeses if they’d like it. You can even use the accompanying two recipes and place them on this board. You’re probably thinking, “But what if I don’t have a board or platter that’s big enough?” No problem at all! Line your kitchen counter or table with a large piece of wax, craft or butcher’s paper. Tape it down and use a sharpie to decorate around all the items. It’s a great way to also let your guests know what they’re eating. Have fun and enjoy!

Selection of meats and cheeses Cookies such as chocolate-dipped Oreos, vanilla wafers or chocolate chip cookies Candies such as M&M’s, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, conversation hearts or lollipops Snacks such as Gold Fish, pretzels, Cheez-Its, crackers or chocolate-covered pretzel rods 1. On a large board, platter or taped-down paper, start arranging like items.

2. Don’t use straight lines, but try to create some movement for the eye.

3. Start with some of the larger items and fill in with smallersized items.

4. Play with the setup until it looks full and balanced.

5. Most of all, have fun with this one. It can be as simple or complex as you’d like.

SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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Sugar Cookie Bark

Do you love cute Valentine’s Day cookies? Do you abhor having to cut them out and try to decorate them? Are you laughing right now, because you wouldn’t even attempt that?! Me, too. I have grand plans and then they all fall apart when the time comes because I have three kids and no time. So this is the cutest way to get Valentine’s Day cookies that taste great, look adorable and are actually fun to make. Break these apart and place in adorable little bags with ribbon as class gifts.

Favorite sugar cookie mix or dough (store-bought is absolutely fine) 1 to 2 bags of candy melts in the color(s) of your choice 1 cup conversation heart candies Sprinkles, edible glitter, any other small candies of your choice 1. Make your sugar cookie dough or roll out store-bought dough on a parchment paper-lined cookie sheet.

Use flour to prevent sticking and bake according to directions. Let cool a few minutes.

2. Melt the candy melts according to directions and pour on the cookie. Swirl the two colors if you prefer.

3. Sprinkle on the conversation hearts, sprinkles, glitter and any other candies you selected.

4. Let the candy melts harden, then break apart the cookie into pieces. Voila!

26 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

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or the second year, Arkansas Foodbank is excited to be accepting nominations for Hunger Heroes, a fantastic opportunity for individual youths and groups ages 5-18 to raise funds and awareness for the Foodbank’s Food For Kids Program. Arkansas ranks second in the nation for child food insecurity with 1 in 4 kids at risk of going hungry. The Foodbank’s Food For Kids Program is solely dedicated to ensuring children have access to the nutritious food they need yearround through the Backpack Program, out of school feeding, and school pantries.

Arkansas ranks second in the nation for child food insecurity with 1 in 4 kids at risk of going hungry.

During its 2019 inaugural year, the Foodbank’s 30 Hunger Heroes found unique ways to raise funds to provide 60,000 meals for children facing hunger in central and southern Arkansas. They hosted bake sales, collected change at their schools, shared their fundraising pages on social media and got their families and communities involved. This year, the Foodbank is excited to set the goal at $25,000, which will provide 125,000 meals, to commemorate the Food For Kids Backpack Program’s 25th Anniversary.

25 years ago an Arkansas public school nurse noticed some children arriving at school listless and hungry. After some questioning, she discovered that the lunch in the cafeteria at school the day before was the last meal they had eaten.

She made a phone call that day that would greatly impact the lives of hungry children in Arkansas. She called the Arkansas Rice Depot and asked if they could help with getting these children food. Immediately, Laura Rhea the CEO of Arkansas Rice Depot launched the Food For Kids Backpack Program, sending hungry children home with backpacks filled with food every weekend and on school breaks. Now, some 25 years later, this program continues to be operated by the Arkansas Foodbank and has been replicated nationwide, and even in Mexico, to ensure kids are getting the food they desperately need when they are out of school.

25 years of feeding hungry children is something the Arkansas Foodbank is proud of—but there is still so much to be done and so many children in central and southern Arkansas to feed. This year’s Hunger Heroes campaign will help further the amazing work of the Food For Kids Program. If you have a child who wants to give back to their community, Hunger Heroes nominations are open until January 31st with a campaign kickoff party at the Arkansas Foodbank on February 10th. To nominate someone, please visit arkansasfoodbank.org.

Hunger Heroes nominations are open until January 31st

To nominate someone, please visit arkansasfoodbank.org SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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EXPLORE & LEARN

28 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

Soup for the Soul

Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families’ annual event serves soup to the community while it raises money to serve solutions to struggling Arkansas families

BY DWAIN HEBDA

W

hen it comes to protecting and enhancing quality of life for Arkansas families from one end of the state to the other, Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families is always ready to answer the call.

The organization serves as an advocate on behalf of children and families on issues ranging from access to health care, to quality of education, to working for wage equality among low-income workers.

“Arkansas Advocates speaks for the needs of Arkansas’s children and we work to impact policies that will help them lead healthy lives,” said Fran Carter, AADF Development Director. “The organization does data-driven research, so we offer Arkansas lawmakers on both sides of the aisle access to nonpartisan data and analysis and support for solutions that will work the best for Arkansas children and families.”

AADF’s accomplishments in this effort include the creation of the ARKids First health insurance program, expansion of quality pre-K for at-risk 3- and 4-year-olds, and overhauling the child welfare and juvenile justice systems, to name just a few.

Speaking up on behalf of children and families, especially in disenfranchised and underserved communities, is a task that never ends. Each year brings with it a new challenge or initiative, such as the 2020 Census, for which AADF is working to promote through various community organizations.

“We want to make sure everyone in Arkansas knows they need to count their children and grandchildren and all the people living in their home when they get their census questionnaire,” Carter said. “Filling it out completely versus leaving people out impacts a lot of money for our state. We really need to do a good job, all of us as Arkansas citizens, to count everybody.

“Children are traditionally an under-counted population and we want people to understand the census doesn’t just mean a number, it means money for the state.”

SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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MARK YOUR CALENDAR! 2020 SOUP SUNDAY

Benefiting Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families Sunday, Feb. 23, 4-7 p.m.

Statehouse Convention Center, Little Rock Now in its 39th year, the event will feature 30 restaurants’ soup fare and showcase Chef Trace Munday of Sauce(d) in Little Rock. Between 1,500 and 2,000 people are expected to attend this year’s event, which will also feature silent and live auctions, activities for kids and music. All proceeds benefit AACF’s work ensuring all Arkansas children have the resources and opportunities to reach their full potential.

Tickets can be purchased at aradvocates.org/events.

Individual adult tickets are $35; kids 5-17 $10; kids under 5 free. VIP tickets are also available, that include swag and complimentary beer and wine.

30 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

ARKANSAS FAMILY-FOCUSED

As a nonpartisan organization, AADF receives no state or federal funding from public tax dollars, but instead relies on donations to operate. Soup Sunday, it's main fundraiser of the year, is a long-cherished tradition in Arkansas and an important source of funding for programs.

“Soup Sunday is a fun, family-friendly event filled with music, food and activities for children, and beer and wine for adults,” Carter said. “At the Little Rock event there will be probably close to 1,500 people over the span of three hours. We are proud of the event because the event is one that everybody can come to. Every kind of group and every kind of person can come and have a good time at this event.”

Kim Davis and her husband, Ryan, are co-chairs for this year’s Soup Sunday. The Little Rock couple and their three daughters are longtime supporters of the event, and Ryan sits on the group’s executive board. So when they were asked to lead the fundraiser, the answer was an immediate “yes.”

“I didn’t have any hesitation being the co-chair because I knew the fundraising was going toward a good cause,” Kim said, adding the participation of her daughters in the effort made the honor even more special.

“Our girls love Soup Sunday and they look forward to it every year, especially our 10-year-old,” Davis said.

“She has an interest in being a chef. She likes tasting all the soups. And after Soup Sunday, she likes to go to the restaurants that she sampled soup from.

“More than that, my husband is an associate pastor at the church that we attend. Something he always tells our girls is to do justice, love mercy and walk with humility.

We have connected that with the work Arkansas Advocates does.

[Our daughters] know Soup Sunday is a fun day, but it’s also a day of helping children like themselves.”

In addition to AACF, Little Rock is blessed with many other nonprofit and charitable organizations specifically targeting children and families. Here are a few of our favorites: ARKANSAS FOODBANK arkansasfoodbank.org Arkansas ranks second in the nation for child food insecurity with 1 in 4 kids at risk of going hungry. The Foodbank has a program dedicated solely to focusing on feeding these children – the Food For Kids Program.

This program ensures children have access to the nutritious food they need year-round through the Backpack Program, out of school feeding, and school pantries. Right now, the Foodbank is accepting nominations for Hunger Heroes to help raise funds and awareness for the Food For Kids Program which reaches thousands of hungry children each year.

Individual youths and groups ages 5-18 are eligible to participate in this fundraising opportunity. Each participant will have their own personal fundraising page and are encouraged to find unique ways to raise funds such as holding a bake sale, collecting change at school, sharing their page on social media and getting family and community members involved.

Nominations for Hunger Heroes close on Jan. 31st with a campaign kickoff party at the Arkansas Foodbank on February 10th. Help us put the FUN in fundraising and fight childhood hunger in Arkansas!

METHODIST FAMILY HEALTH methodistfamily.org One of the oldest nonprofit organizations focused on foster children and behavioral health for children and families in Arkansas, Methodist Family Health provides critical services to children and families. Now in its 121st year, Methodist Family Health is a leader in mental health and behavioral treatment from outpatient counseling through acute and subacute care via Methodist Behavioral Hospital in Maumelle, the only nonprofit behavioral hospital for children in the state.

CAMP ALDERSGATE campaldersgate.net Arkansas’s only nonprofit organization uniquely dedicated to serving children and youth with special needs in a camp environment, Camp Aldersgate provides camping experiences without limits for children with disabilities. During the summer months, the organization hosts weeklong medical-specific camps for children and youth with various conditions from cancer to arthritis to diabetes. It also provides year-round programs for more than 1,700 individuals of all ages and backgrounds.

THE CALL thecallinarkansas.org Increasing the number of open foster and adoptive homes in Arkansas is the goal of The CALL, a faith-based nonprofit. In close partnership with the Arkansas Department of Children and Family Services, the group introduces individuals and families to the process of fostering or adoption and provides training and support to those families leading up to and following placement. The purpose: to create an Arkansas where no child is left waiting for a loving home.

SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

Matters of the

HEART

It’s much more common than you may think. In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, each year about 40,000 infants are born with a congenital heart defect. While you may have heard the term, you may not know what it is and how it’s treated.

To better educate ourselves — and our readers — we spoke with pediatric cardiologist Dr. Renee Bornemeier with Arkansas Children’s Hospital.

BY ANGELA E. THOMAS

32 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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T

he word congenital means existing at birth, and while it’s sometimes referred to as congenital heart disease, defect is more accurate, per the American Heart Association.

“Ventricular septal defects are the most common,” Bornemeier said. Often referred to as VSD, “a ventricular septal defect means there is a hole in the muscular wall that divides the lower left and lower right chambers of the heart. And like many congenital heart defects, there is no way to prevent VSD prior to birth.”

“The majority of heart defects are caught during the child’s first year of life. Treatment of a VSD depends on the size of the defect. If it’s small, it may close on its own, and some holes are so small, we may not even know they exist,” she said.

The most common indicator of a VSD is a heart murmur. A murmur is an extra sound that’s usually heard when the valves of the heart close, and most often is heard by a doctor. Not all murmurs are cause for alarm.

“Functional murmurs are normal and may be heard as a child moves, is active or excited.

Doctors are trained to hear murmurs and to differentiate them.

Statistically, most murmurs are found within the first few hours of a newborn’s life,” Bornemeier said.

She explained, “While a baby is in utero, mom breathes for them with the help of the placenta. Very little blood is circulated through the lungs. After the baby is born, he transitions to breathing on his own.

This process continues for weeks, up to three months and during this time a larger hole in the muscular wall may be detected.”

Because of the hole, his heart must work harder to move blood to the lungs, so he will breathe a bit faster than normal. This is one of the signs of a heart defect.

Additionally, babies with heart defects must work hard to eat. They tire easily while drinking milk and may sleep through feeding times or only eat 1.5 to 2 ounces at a time.

Doctors generally use three tests to detect a VSD: an electrocardiogram (ECG or EKG), a chest X-ray and/or a fetal echocardiogram. Doctors use electrocardiograms to look at the heart’s activity through electrical patterns.

The chest X-ray is used to look at the size and contour of the heart, to look at the lungs and to determine if the blood vessels are more prominent. The fetal echocardiogram, an ultrasound, is used to allow doctors to get a good look at the heart’s chambers, walls and valves. Additionally, doctors will measure the speed at which the blood is moving.

“There are several variables that determine treatment: if the hole is very, very small, the recommendation may be to give it time to close naturally; if it’s ‘medium,’ we will base treatment on things such as the rate at which the child is breathing and growing,” Bornemeier said.

Other variables like the rate of breathing and weight gain are taken into consideration, and doctors may treat the VSD by advising an increase in caloric intake and prescribing medication to ensure the lungs don’t develop excessive fluid.

Surgery may, Bornemeier stresses may, be advised as well. Again, doctors will look at several factors and it’s important to remember each case and each child is different.

The second most common congenital heart defect is the atrial septal defect (ASD), which is a hole between the upper chamber of the heart. It’s a bit more difficult to distinguish, the doctor added, as it’s not as loud.

“A cardiologist would probably be the one to identify

“THE MAJORITY OF HEART DEFECTS ARE CAUGHT DURING THE CHILD’S FIRST YEAR OF LIFE.

34 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

4 0,000 I NFANT S A RE BO R N W ITH A CO N GENI TA L H E A RT D EFECT.

this,” Bornemeier said. “A child may be 3 or 4 years old or even a teen approaching adulthood before he’s diagnosed with an atrial septal defect.”

Some of the signs of an ASD include shortness of breath and irregular heartbeats.

Again, a murmur that is the result of an ASD may be heard when a child has been active or sick with a fever. There are several treatments, including surgery. The most common type of ASD is a secundum ASD and these may be closed in a cath lab by adding a ASD closure device.

If you are concerned about your child, speak with your pediatrician or general practice doctor first. Additionally, if you are pregnant or are planning to become pregnant, be sure to disclose your medications to your physician. While there’s no way to prevent congenital heart defects, some medications taken during the time the heart is developing may be of concern.

“The heart is a very complex organ and its development is complicated,” Bornemeier said. She practices at Arkansas Children’s Hospital, where their pediatric cardiology services include: surgery; a transplant program; fetal cardiology treatments (offered prior to birth); interventional cardio treatments; advanced cardio imagery; an echocardiogram lab; and CT and MRI services which are often used for 3D modeling; and more.

SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

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Protecting Tiny Teeth Watch out for these hidden dental dangers

BY DWAIN HEBDA

I

t’s an exciting life landmark when a child’s teeth start coming in and the resulting pearly little smiles are enough to melt any parent’s heart. But the emergence of baby teeth — and even before — is also a signal for parents to begin a child on healthy dental habits, according to Dr. John “Pug” Pate with Small Bites Pediatric Dentistry.

“Tooth decay is the number one most common disease in children and an epidemic in the United States,” he said. “The good thing is that it is 100 percent preventable. Research has shown that the earlier you start going to the dentist, the less dental treatment is needed throughout life. This is why it is recommended to start seeing a dentist at age 1.”

Pate said while most parents know that sugar is generally bad for teeth, they often don’t realize how many places it pops up in their child’s diet. Cough syrups, fruit juices and the trendy new pureed squeeze snack pouches can all hide a lot of sugar that can wreak havoc on tiny teeth.

“Candy is bad, but sugary drinks throughout the day are worse,” he said. “Water is our best friend and should be sipped on between meals. Milk is good at mealtimes but can

“Tooth decay is the number one most common disease in children and an epidemic in the United States.”

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After teeth start to appear, brushing is a must

get us into trouble if consumed too much. Juice or sodas of any kind are loaded with sugar and can cause a lot of decay.”

Healthy snacks for children — such as orange wedges or dried fruit — are another threat to teeth that are counterintuitive for many parents. According to MouthHealthy.org, a website of the American Dental Association, acidic fruits such as citrus are hard on tooth enamel while dried fruit is sticky and therefore stays on the child’s teeth longer, as do fruit and vegetable pureés in a pouch.

Pate said there’s a simple remedy for these problems that improves both oral health and starts the child on a general healthy habit all at the same time.

“My biggest tip: Kids should drink lots of water,” he said.

“Drinking water throughout the day cleanses our teeth, helps wash away bacteria in our mouth, neutralizes acid around the teeth which cause cavities and strengthens and rebuilds the surface structure of the tooth.”

It’s never too early to start children on healthy dental habits, either. The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry recommends cleaning a baby’s gums before teeth even come in to help acclimate them for the brushing regimen to come. A soft cloth or infant toothbrush works well before teeth come in.

After teeth start to appear, brushing is a must, Pate said.

MY BIGGEST TIP: Kids

should drink lots of water

Flossing can be introduced as soon as a child has two teeth touching one another.

“Brush, brush, brush; in the morning after breakfast and absolutely it should be the last thing we do before going to sleep,” he said. “Use fluoridated toothpaste; a smear or rice grain sized droplet until age 3, and then a green pea sized amount at age 3 and older.”

Proper care also includes watching out for behaviors and activities that can damage teeth. The AAPD warns against sucking on a thumb, finger or pacifier as it can cause the upper front teeth to tilt outward or impede teeth from coming in properly altogether.

While most kids stop this behavior on their own, parents should intervene if they haven’t ceased and desisted by age 3.

Another potential hazard is sports activities where impact with a ball or another player can cause tooth trauma. Mouth guards should be regarded as essential pieces of protective equipment for competitive and even leisure activities.

It’s never too early to start children on healthy dental habits And, of course, it’s vital to establish a relationship with a dentist and take the child for regular checkups. Your child’s pediatric dentist will not only provide professional cleanings, but is also an expert source of information on everything regarding your child’s healthy teeth. The routine measures and preventative treatments they provide will help reinforce the efforts you’re taking at home.

“Sealants on molars decrease the likelihood of cavities in the most common places on teeth,” Pate said. “Schedule dental cleanings and fluoride treatments at the dental office every six months. These procedures incorporate minerals into the tooth structure that makes the tooth harder and more resistant to cavities than the natural tooth structure itself.”

Schedule dental cleanings and fluoride treatments at the dental office every six months.

LEARN MORE:

Small Bites Pediatric Dentistry Little Rock and Pine Bluff Smallbitespd.com

American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry

mouthmonsters.mychildrensteeth.org

American Dental Association mouthhealthy.org

SAVVYKIDSAR.COM | FEBRUARY 2020

37

MEET THE PARENT

ADORA CURRY is a native Coloradoan turned Maryland girl who has planted

permanent roots in this beautiful state with my beloved parents and sons.She recently joined the UA-Pulaski Tech Foundation team as Advancement Marketing Manager where she oversees fundraising initiatives and leads the UA-PTC Alumni Association. Adora is an avid writer, skilled graphic designer and video editor. She enjoys hands-on creative projects and enjoys spending time with her parents and her two energetic sons, Dominic and EJ. 1. What’s the best thing about being a single mom? The dysfunction! Let’s be honest, no little girl fantasizes about being a single mama when she grows up, but when you have a lessthan-the-stereotypical-household, you have to be creative and resourceful.

2. How do you teach your sons to be good men? I expose them to as much diversity as possible so that they will develop an authentic appreciation for the differences in other people. I also let them fail so they will know how to cope with adversity as they get older.

3. Share a moment in parenting when you thought “I raised them right!” Behind closed doors, our household is all kinds of crazy! The boys are arguing with each other, their bedrooms are a mess, and we are probably late to something.

Yet, these are the same boys who will cry when their friends cry and handwrite “Thank You” letters to people without being prompted.

4. Share a parenting experience where you felt afraid. How did you handle the situation? Being the parent of a middle schooler was terrifying for me because I was bullied in seventh grade to the tune of my classmates creating the Anti-Adora Association (AAA).

To overcome this, I had to accept that his experience didn’t have to be like mine — and it wasn’t. He loved middle school and thrived.

5. What has been one of your favorite gifts/cards/gestures/words from your kids? This past Christmas, my younger son, EJ, made me a coupon book of things he would do for me like “Get along with my brother,” “Get good Class Dojo,” etc. While his gift was really thoughtful, I was most endeared by the fact that he made a book of eight coupons, but told me I was only allowed to pick six!

6. What song is 100 percent guaranteed to get you on the dance floor every time? Well, everyone who knows me would say in unison, “Shoop,” by Salt ’N Pepa. My karaoke game is sweeeeeeet!!!!

7. Would you ever go skydiving and why or why not? Absolutely not!

Every new stage of parenting is terrifying enough for me.

38 FEBRUARY 2020 | SAVVYKIDSAR.COM

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