Antarman By MHC Twin Edition - June & July 2024

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ANTARमन

BY MOTHERHOOD

CLUB

TWIN EDITION

SERIES 6& 7 - VOL 4

JUNE & JULY 2024

Fitness During Peri- Menopuase

Anupama Nair

Empowering

Women Entrepreneurs

TABLE OF CONTENTS

CONTRIBUTORS FOR THE MONTH

Akta Sehgal 1. Anupama Nair 2. Hamida Hakim 3. Ila Pachauri 4. Ishleen Kaur 5. Jayashree Sriram 6. Kamal Nimodia 7. Kiran Datta 8. Kunaal V Singh 9. Manjeet Rajbir 10. Monica Goel Diwan 11. Monika Daga 12. Mukesh Bhatnagar 13

Poonam Saxena 14. Randev’s15.

Rashmi Sanganeria 16. Ratan Kumar Agarwala 17. Saradhya Iyer 18 Shreen Vardhan Sharma 19.

Sabharwal

Swetha Bhargav

Swetha Sundar

Sisodiya

Dear Members,

Editorial

Hope we all are doing well and enjoyed the summer break with our kids or grandkids .

Month of May was celebrated as Story Month to pay our tribute to Shri Rabindranath Tagore ji on his birth anniversary. We saw some amazing stories and some of the stories can be read in this edition of the newsletter.

Motherhood Club is delighted to see increased participation in all activities of Kulturekona and also new members involvement in our Story prompts and creative challenge week on week.

We also witnessed a few amazing Talk Shows in the month of May and June . While the number of activities were few, but impactful. We are grateful to our members who kept the group going with their contributions in form of posts , videos art etc.

June witnessed some somber moments too, We lost two members to the deadly cancer and two of our members lost their parent. Life is uncertain indeed and at times doesn't go as one plans it. We had planned to celebrate Father’s day but , as a mark of respect to the grieving families, we kept June as a low key month.

While there was not much being done in the group, a lot of constructive conversations happened at the backend to strengthen Motherhood Club.

As a part of our social initiatives, Clothes, Books, Shoes and Toys were sent to different locations Further One of the Gaurd was provided financial assistance to undertake her medical test as she was keeping unwell for a long time.

Going forward , Motherhood club intends to keep its focus on Quality Education, Cancer Awareness and support to the patients and Menstrual Hygiene.

Its our endeavor to support children who otherwise dont get to attend school and to this effect, Motherhood club provided space to a group of kids from the humble background in Sector 168, at the premises of a leading school. We are also in talks to help them with the learning aids and a lot more. We shall keep you posted.

Many New initiatives are planned so keep a look at our Facebook Page for updates and details

Happy Reading this edition

Best Regards

Editor In Chief

The three pillars on which Motherhood Club stands tall. All our conversations and social drives are around these themes

HEALTH CONTRIBUTION

Fitness During Peri-Menopause

Peri-menopause is a significant phase in a woman ' s life, starting in the early 40s and lasting until menopause sets in. During this transitional period, women experience various physical and emotional changes due to fluctuating hormone levels. As a digital fat loss coach, I have helped many women navigate this challenging time with a tailored fitness approach. In this article, I will share insights and strategies to stay fit and healthy during peri-menopause.

Understanding Peri-Menopause:

Peri-menopause is the time leading up to menopause, characterized by irregular menstrual cycles and symptoms such as hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, and weight gain. Hormonal changes, especially the decline in estrogen, can impact metabolism, muscle mass, and fat distribution. Therefore, adopting a comprehensive fitness routine is essential for managing these changes.

Benefits of Fitness During Peri-Menopause:

Regular physical activity offers numerous benefits during peri-menopause, including;

1. Weight Management: Exercise helps control weight by burning calories and boosting metabolism.

2. Muscle Mass Maintenance: Strength training preserves muscle mass, which tends to decline with age.

3. Bone Health: Weight-bearing exercises strengthen bones and reduce the risk of osteoporosis.

4. Mood Regulation: Physical activity releases endorphins, reducing stress and improving mood.

5. Cardiovascular Health: Regular exercise supports heart health and lowers the risk of cardiovascular diseases.

Tailoring Your Fitness Routine:

1. Cardiovascular Exercise

Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity or 75 minutes of high-intensity cardio each week. Activities like brisk walking, jogging, cycling, and swimming are excellent choices. Cardio workouts help maintain a healthy weight, improve heart health, and boost overall energy levels.

2. Strength Training

Incorporate strength training exercises at least twice a week. Focus on major muscle groups using weights, resistance bands, or bodyweight exercises. Strength training helps maintain muscle mass, supports bone density, and enhances metabolism. Include exercises like squats, lunges, push-ups, and weightlifting in your routine.

Listening to Your Body:

It's essential to listen to your body and adjust your fitness routine as needed. Some days you might feel more fatigued or experience joint discomfort. On such days, opt for low-impact activities like walking, swimming, or gentle yoga. Remember, consistency is key, but it's also crucial to allow your body to rest and recover.

Seeking Professional Guidance:

If you ' re new to exercise or have specific health concerns, consider seeking guidance from a Health professional or a personal trainer. They can create a customized workout plan that aligns with your goals and addresses any physical limitations or health issues.

Peri-menopause is a natural phase of life, and staying active during this time can significantly enhance your quality of life. By incorporating cardiovascular exercise, strength training, flexibility workouts, and proper nutrition into your routine, you can navigate this transition with strength and resilience. Remember, the journey to fitness is personal, and finding what works best for you is the key to long-term success.

Stay active, stay healthy, and embrace this transformative journey with confidence.

BOOK REVIEW

Book Name : Think & Grow Rich'

Author Name: Napolean Hill

The book was first released in 1937 but in the intervening 87 years, more than 80 millions copies of it has been sold world wide, making generations of people get enriched and to find their way to success and a purpose in life. 'Think & Grow Rich' examines the power of personal beliefs and the role they play in personal success. The book describes hand on practical learning, Hill got from some of the highly successful people of his time, namely Andrew Carnegie, Thomas Alva Edison, George Eastman, Alexander Graham Bell, Henry Ford, Elmar Gates, John D. Rockefeller, F W Woolworth, Theoder Roosevelt and other greats of the 19th century. The book enshrines the philosophy or the law of success, as practiced by the greats and helped millions down the line to be successful in their career, vocation or profession.

The book is divided into 14 chapters, with an introduction of 15 pages by the author, describing what the reader will learn from each chapter. The book is not just a story telling or the life journey of the scientists, inventors, entrepreneurs, tycoons, politicians and the famous presidents of US, author interviewed but how they went through their failings and overcame them. The book is utterly engrossing and has the potential to uprise even a dormant or demotivated person. Its core strength lies in the fact that it not only expounds upon material wealth that at the heart of it, it is a treaties in helping individuals succeed in all lines of work and to do or be almost anything they want in life.

The book is full of affirmations, propounded by the author himself and are often quoted by motivational speakers viz. "A goal is a dream with a deadline" ; "A quitter never wins and a winner never quits" ; "Happiness is found in doing, not merely in possessing" and one of the Hill's hallmark expression is - "What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve"

About the Author : Hill was born in 1884, to a very poor family. His mother died when he was very young and dropped out of college because of lack of funds to support education. At the age of 13, he began writing as a 'Mountain Reporter' for a rural newspaper. In 1908 he got an assignment to cover famous and successful men. He started with Andrew Carnegie, steel tycoon of the US then and went on to interview 500 most famous Americans and took upon writing, teaching and lecturing about principles of success. He eventually became the advisor to the President Franklin D. Roosevelt from 1933-1936. It took him 25 years to condense his learnings from the legends, the book finally came into being in 1937. Napoleon passed away in 1971 at age of 87, leaving a legacy of ' success philosophy' for all.

A must read book for every age group. Though the English used in the book is 100 years old, yet it is all the worth to go with patience and to get awakened.

GO GREEN

Aloe Vera : A great Fertilizer

We all know that aloe vera is a great medicinal ingredient for human health, little do we know that aloe vera makes a great fertilizer and pesticide for our plants.

For the ones who don't wish to spend time and efforts, can simply cut the leaves into small pieces and bury it under the soil. The aloe vera pieces shall decompose to give a good growth to your green babies.

Cut approx two to three aloe vera leaves into small pieces and put it in a transparent jar, top up with approx one litre of water. Close the lid and place it under the sun for 1 month. The aloe vera leaves will decompose and the liquid shall turn green. Feed 20-30 ml of this fertilizer each morning to your plants and see the magic. Mix a tablespoon of this organic fertilizer with one litre of water, spray it on your plants in the evening and watch your green babies turn healthier and happier.

So next time you have extra aloe vera leaves, don't even think of throwing them in the bin, instead churn liquid gold for your garden.

How can we contribute to protect our Environment?

1. Save electricity:

a. Remove the curtains of the windows in the morning and evening to let natural light enter the house.

b. As far as possible, set the priority starting from fans then coolers and then ACs.

c. Normally run the AC at 24/25 degree Celsius.

d. Switch off the bulbs, fans etc. in the house where they are not in use.

3. Give shelter to animals:

2. Save water:

a. Water is Life, consider it like elixir, use it judiciously.

b. Open the water taps half only in the bathroom, kitchen etc.

c. Use RO water for plants, mopping, washing the car etc.

d. Use bucket and mug instead of taking a shower or bathing under an open tap in the bathroom.

e. As far as possible, wash clothes together once or twice a week instead of washing clothes in the washing machine every day.

a. If possible, keep small bird houses in the hall, verandah, lobby etc. of the house. Hang water pots for them.

b. Make arrangements for food, water etc. for dogs, cats, squirrels or other animals outside the house.

e. Put food for ants in empty places around the house.

GO GREEN

4 Save fuel:

a. Use Pressure cooker and wide and lidded utensils for cooking.

b. Keep the cooking ingredients ready so that your stove does not burn unnecessarily while looking for them.

c. Once the milk and tea is boiled, reduce the flame to medium.

d. As far as possible, all the family members should eat together. This will avoid reheating the food again and again.

e. If the family members have to travel at the same time, to the same destination or in the same direction, then choose the option of sharing a vehicle by making slight adjustments in the time

6. Plant trees, create greenery, save the environment:

5. Make the Best from the kitchen Waste:

a. Soak the peels of fruits and vegetables in water for five to seven days, then filter it and keep it in a separate vessel. Add ten times more water to it and use it as liquid fertilizer for plants.

b. Put the solid matter and other leaves etc. left in " a. above" in an old earthen pot, cover it and keep it in a corner of the house or on the rooftop that is not used much. Keep collecting waste from the day to day in it. After the pot is filled, it will turn into excellent compost fertilizer in three to four months. Use it for plants.

c. After making tea at home and filtering it, wash the tea leaves in the filter three to four times with water and then dry these. This will also work as a very good fertilizer for plants.

a. Plant trees that give life-giving oxygen.

b. Wherever possible, plant trees around the house, in deserted, empty, public places, in parks, community complexes, in the front/back yard of the house.

c. If there is not enough land, then definitely plant some plants in pots, anywhere in the house, balcony, lobby, terrace etc.

d. On special occasions, such as birthdays, wedding anniversaries, death/death anniversary of close relatives etc., trees can be planted to make their memory permanent, to memorize any other special occasion.

d. Use the water after washing pulses, rice, vegetables etc. in the kitchen for irrigating plants.

7. Avoid using Plastic:

a. Follow the 3 Rs (Reduce, Reuse and Recycle) process for Plastic usage.

b. Use cloth or jute bags to bring goods/ vegetables from the market.

c. Try to avoid single-use plastic as much as possible.

d. Plastic containers, bottles, etc. can be used creatively as pots for planting small plants.

e. Plastic packing used in online shopping can be used as grow-bags.

Apart from the above, many more things can be done to express love for the nature and the environment. If you think about it, a lot can be done: If you are going out, before locking the house, switch off all the electric bulbs, fans etc. and water taps. Balanced and Protected Environment means Pleasant and Safe Life.

CORPORATE GYAN

Empowering Women Entrepreneurs: The Transformative Power of Coaching

The Personal Benefits of Coaching for Women Entrepreneurs

Coaching offers numerous personal benefits, particularly for women entrepreneurs. Many report that coaching has significantly influenced both their professional and personal lives by helping them to:

• Set and achieve meaningful goals

• Become more self-reliant

• Find greater satisfaction in their careers and personal lives

• Contribute more effectively to their teams and organizations

• Take greater responsibility for their actions and commitments

• Collaborate more easily and productively with colleagues and partners

• Communicate more effectively

These outcomes highlight the profound impact coaching can have on women striving to succeed in the entrepreneurial world.

Coaching in Entrepreneurial and Leadership Settings

In the entrepreneurial and leadership arenas, coaching proves invaluable for developing skills and confidence. The benefits of coaching are evident:

• 80% of individuals who receive coaching report increased self-confidence.

• Over 70% benefit from improved work performance, relationships, and communication skills.

• 86% of companies report that they recouped their investment in coaching, and more. These statistics underscore the significant return on investment coaching provides, particularly for women entrepreneurs seeking to make their mark.

The Role of Coaching in Personal Development for Women Entrepreneurs

Coaching offers a vital space for personal growth and development. For example, when women entrepreneurs face challenges with confidence, traditional training might offer short-term strategies but often fails to bring lasting change. Coaching, however, addresses internal thought processes and provides long-term solutions. The impact of coaching on women entrepreneurs is profound. Increased self-confidence enables them to bring their full selves into their business ventures, resulting in greater resilience and assertiveness.

CORPORATE GYAN

Empowering Women Entrepreneurs: The Transformative Power of Coaching

Benefits of Coaching for Women Entrepreneurs

The benefits of coaching for women in business are extensive. Coaching can:

• Empower women to take ownership of their responsibilities

• Increase engagement and motivation

• Improve individual and team performance

• Help identify and develop high-potential leaders

• Reveal both personal and business strengths and opportunities for growth

• Motivate and empower women to excel in their entrepreneurial journeys

• Demonstrate a commitment to personal and professional development

In conclusion, coaching stands as a powerful catalyst for personal and professional growth, especially for women entrepreneurs navigating the challenges of the business world. By fostering self-confidence, enhancing communication skills, and encouraging personal accountability, coaching helps women unlock their full potential. As more women embrace coaching, they not only transform their own lives but also drive meaningful change in their organizations and communities. The investment in coaching is, without a doubt, an investment in a brighter, more empowered future for women entrepreneurs everywhere.

Ishleen Kaur

With over 17 years of empowering entrepreneurs and professionals and a lineup of accolades including '50 Inspiring Women of India in 2022,' Ms. Ishleen Kaur stands as India's leading Revenue Growth Therapist and an internationally certified Business Coach. Her books, such as Be The Lady Boss,' reflect her mastery in business growth, while her top Spotify business podcast showcases her thought leadership. As the Founder and Director of 'The Apex Learning,' and a respected member of the Global Edu-Leaders Forum, Ishleen is a visionary in personal and professional development, continuously enhancing business and educational landscapes. Her recognition as 'LinkedIn Top Voice India' underpins her influential stature in the digital domain.

PARENTING CORNER

Fostering Curiosity

Every child is born with an innate ability to be curious about things around them. Curiosity is a willing , a proud and eager confession of ignorance”. However, we as adults most often than not, snub kids when they ask too many questions... Don’t we.

The key reason for the same is lack of time and thinking like an adult and not like a child. As Adults , we are so caught up in the rat race of life that we forget to look around, observe and be inquisitive or curious about something new that we see, as we are a victim of “ KIA” - Know it all Syndrome. Unfortunately our kids are also becoming a victim of the same syndrome.

How do we overcome this and foster the innate curiosity of a child. It actually is very simple - Let the child be a child. Let me delve more into this

Allow the child to explore, experience and express . 1.

2.

Observe things with them and ask questions, for them to know , asking question is ok. When they ask questions, encourage them by answering, or show them the path of research.

Expose them to Nature , Nature offers you learning that even text books don’t. 3. Co-Learning - Involve them in discussions and attend extra curricular classes , to learn from peers and explore the world together

Bring Science in their day to day life. Literacy & Numeracy has always been the core of learning for young learners , include Science, as Science is very where - Remember everyone saw an apple fall, but it was Newton who asked “ WHY”. 5. The Why’s, How’s and what should be a part of every conversation in a household 6. Curiosity drives kids to try new things. Strong curiosity gives children confidence to try new things. Trying new things opens up new worlds to your child. Curiosity brings excitement to life.

A curious child is a happy child

We can always build this skill , as Curiosity drives learning and motivation, fosters empathy and aids critical thinking, decision making, and relationship skills, and is key to life satisfaction and health.

FIN - GURU - CONTRIBUTION

From Not Having Funds to invest to being a Crore Pati in 8 Years –

The Saga of a Women Investor

They say , “ You can have EXCUSES or you can have SUCCESS. You cant have them both “How often have you heard someone or you saying that I have no money to invest. There is never ever any saving to start my investment journey. A similar statement was given by one of our client, who back in 2016 said that we are hand to mouth and i have no surplus funds, so how do i start.

Lets Look at the step by step journey of attaining your goals

Assessment of your current situation

Acceptance of the current situation

The two most difficult steps , Assess and Accept and be brutally honest . Now the question is how do you assess, as that’s where it all starts. As individuals we all aspire for many things and wish that it all happens on its own. Nothing Happens on its own, you can manifest something, but the success of that depends on the actions and the effort you put.

Assess your current financial situation, not just quantitative but qualitatively too. We need to do our income/ expense analysis and at the same time know our lifestyle and identify the frivolous and impulse decisions. Basis that plan your budget and identify your goals.

This client of ours, did an income-expense analysis and found out that she can stretch herself and and start a SIP of Rs 20000 Per month. Staying consistent and progressive is the key. She was committed to her SIP and at the same time, made an increment in her SIP contribution as her income increased and her understanding of her self. She realized the importance of saving and investing today to achieve her goal and , set a goal to be a crorepati before she turns 50. As a service provider every time she was tempted to withdraw for a travel or an expensive purchase ,she was reminded of her goal and looking at the merit of it she would stall her decision. Staying consistent is important , but at the same time , staying committed and discipline also. Her commitment towards her goal, following the process, and being objective about her goal helped her achieve it 3 years before the time she had set. No doubt, The financial market and the economic stability did play its role, but one can only take benefit of that when you are Disciplined, Committed , and have patience. You dont get influenced by the unwanted noise and overcome your mental bias.

Today in a span of 8 years ,she has become a Crorepati and her confidence is high, her conviction is even stronger and her believe in her self towards financial independence and financial confidence is at its peak.

All this has still not influenced her to withdraw her portfolio, as she now heads towards her next goal ...... Retirement and Sons Education.

FIN - GURU - CONTRIBUTION

From Not Having Funds to invest to being a Crore Pati in 8 Years – The Saga of a Women Investor ... contd.

There are many such real life stories of achievement of financial goals and are dependent on many factors like

1. How much you invest ?

2. When do you start investing?

3. Time line to achieve goals ?

4. Have you followed the process ?

5. Have you assessed your risk profile ?

6 Have you selected the right kind of investment for yourself ?

The time period may vary for each one of us basis the above , but if we are committed to ourselves, there is no reason why you will not achieve your financial goals.

Poetry corner

Creative Challenge Winners Contribution

Smoke

Smoke curls high, in gentle flight, A ghostly veil in soft twilight. It twines and sways, in moonlit air, A whispered dance, beyond compare.

Through chimney tops, it spirals free, A wisp of gray, from burning tree. It cloaks the night in mystery, A fleeting sign of history.

From fire’s heart, it softly streams, A cloud of dreams, in silver beams. It whispers low, in muted tone, A secret known to flame alone.

It drifts away, on evening breeze, A smoky veil through swaying trees. With every puff, a tale it tells, Of embered glows and ashen spells.

In twilight’s grasp, it swirls and fades, A transient mark in night's cascades. Smoke, a fleeting, airy shroud, A phantom veil, a ghostly cloud.

- Sheifali Verma

Race

Isn't life a race ?

When your creation is also a result of a race.

Sperms running a marathon, Only one can finish the race , although no gaurantee of being successful all through the way A child wanting to born much before time, being a victim of FOMO.

A Parent expecting a child prodigy, completing missing the innocence, just running the race.

Couples, running all the time, to earn, earn and burn.

With no time to pursue your passion or have fun.

Death, isn't spared either. Some quicker some slower.

Even post death, experiencing a race to the crematorium.

To be cremated, yet another race on its own.

Life a race of race, ongoing and onward, for one and all.

THE TEARS STORY UNVEILED

Tear-filled eyes carry many unknown stories. Stories of delight, reunion, sadness, accomplishments, and overflowing emotions.

When I was born, my mother's eyes welled up with excitement. My father burst into floods of pleasure when I took my first walking step. My best buddies burst into tears when I became the class leader for the first time. When I earned my first school sports medal, my sports teacher was in tears of ecstasy. When I first saw my husband, my eyes brimmed up with delight. When I gave birth to our child, we were both in tears of joy. When the souls of my near and dear ones left, my eyes shed both joyful and sorrowful tears

As I thanked God for everything, my eyes were filled with tears of gratefulness.

-Saradha life, My mother… You are special, like no other. You gave me a life You gave me a name You nurtured me and helped me Become what I am.

In many ways, I am your reflection Still from you there is so much more to learn. Your calmness, patience and serenity For me you resonate with divinity. Your presence around me is necessary It helps me ward off any worry. My head in your lap or on your shoulder Is a world which I would want forever. Mother daughter world is a world of woman nurturing woman.

Love you Ma ❤

Articles, Blogs &Stories

Footprints

Little Shreya put her tiny foot forward right into the footprint of her father's on the beach, in Gopalpur -on-sea. She giggled happily saying, ' see I am walking in your footprints', little realising what a mountainous task it was going to be.

Her father was the Sarpanch of their village, well respected and loved. He always passed just judgements and tried his best to remain unbiased. The only problem was that girls were not given education to make a career. If a girl had passed her eighth standard exams, she was married off.

Her father knew that he had a long fight ahead of him as he was all for making women self dependent. He laughed and hugged his daughter, ' yes my child, I too want you to follow my footsteps ' . Years passed by and the father daughter duo had to face a lot of hurdles.

After his term as Sarpanch, another narrow minded person who was very stuck in his views, was named his successor. He went so far as to banish him and his family from the village.

Staying in a new place with his income slashed and having to cater to the other members of the family, it seemed as tough, Shreya's dream would remain only a dream. But her determination and hardwork won her scholarships and finally after passing her IAS, she became a Collector and was posted to her old village. The cycle of time had come full circle. She worked diligently and received the same love and respect as her father.

A Grateful Return: My Journey Back to Teaching

After an eight-year hiatus from the workforce, returning to my profession as a teacher was a significant and exciting milestone. However, my journey was far from straightforward and involved unexpected challenges and personal sacrifices.

I initially resumed my career with enthusiasm, securing a teaching position that marked my re-entry into the educational field. Shortly thereafter, life presented an unforeseen dilemma. My divorced mother-in-law, who had always dreamed of traveling to America, needed my support to fulfill this lifelong aspiration. Her absence left a considerable gap at home, with no one to manage household chores or pick up my two children from the bus stop.

Faced with this situation, I made the difficult decision to leave my job once more to take care of my family and enable my mother-in-law to pursue her dream. This period of my life underscored the often-overlooked sacrifices that many women make to uphold their familial responsibilities, frequently at the expense of their careers.

Months later, with my mother-in-law back and the household routine stabilized, I began searching for a job again. This time, I was fortunate to find an opportunity at The Heritage School Noida. This position was a perfect fit, not only because it allowed me to teach the subject I am passionate about but also because the school day ended at 2:30 PM. This dispersal time was crucial, as it enabled me to take my autistic son to his essential occupational and ABA therapies.

On this Mother’s Day, I am filled with immense gratitude for the support and understanding shown by my mother in law and my new employer. I am deeply thankful to Mrs. Manju Rajput, the school's principal, Mrs. Sumitra Agarwal, the coordinator, and Mrs. Vartika, the HR representative, for understanding me as a mother, for believing in my potential and providing me with this much-needed second chance. Their empathy and support have been instrumental in allowing me to balance my professional aspirations with my family responsibilities.

As I continue to support my husband in our son ' s ongoing treatment and therapies, I remain profoundly grateful for the opportunity to contribute meaningfully to both my family and my professional community.

Their kindness and support have not only allowed me to pursue my passion for teaching but also enabled me to be there for my family in ways that matter most. This experience has reinforced my belief in the power of empathy and support within the workplace.

Hence on this Mother's Day, I celebrate the resilience of mothers everywhere and the amazing mothers cum employers at The Heritage School who gave me the opportunity to balance my career and family life.

- Shreen Vardhan Sharma

Communicating with the “Terrible Teens” Concluding Part Swetha Sundar

Adults who continually enforce boundaries and rules that do not acknowledge age or demonstrated capacity for independent and responsible behavior can frustrate and alienate teens.

Adults are better served by stopping and considering before saying ‘ no ’ to a request. Be prepared to compromise when negotiating boundaries and rules with your teenager. Ask yourself if your teenager now old enough or responsible enough for you to say ‘ yes ’ to situations you may have said “ no ” to in the past?

“When I recently dropped off my son and his friends at a high school function, I noticed that some kids respectfully shook hands with the chaperone and others just walked past. As a parent, I was in awe of the confident kids that approached the unknown authority figure. As a therapist, I wondered why some kids avoid interacting with adults.My initial thought was that technology is to blame for the decreasing level of respect that youth show those who are older than them. Today’s teens spend so much time looking at screens that they have become uncomfortable having face-to-face interactions,” muses Dr. Aroona Broota, a leading psychologist at Chintam Clinic, Bangalore.

In fact, a recent University study found that smartphones have decreased both the quality and quantity of face-to-face communication. But while technology plays a role, changes in our society are also partly responsible.

The need for adolescents to be with friends is perhaps hardwired in the brain. A growing child looks up to her family – parents and siblings, largely, to meet emotional needs. In time, her independence moves her closer to a peer group that she is able to choose, rather than the family

she was provided with. As disconcerting as this may be for the parent, it is a healthy part of growing, and somewhere along the way, a balance is achieved.

In years past, children remained closer to home, playing in their neighborhoods, doing household chores and working in the family business. There was a general belief that children should be seen and not heard. Kids learned to respect adults. Modern families are different than past generations with dual working couples and singleparent households. In addition, we encourage our children to explore the world, do community service and stand up for what they believe. Teaching children how to be respectful has become a challenging task as kids spend less time at home and more time with their peers. Teens are still learning how to think and can find it difficult to understand how their attitudes affect others. How has this changed in the digital world? The need for peer interaction has not changed, but the tools for it have. Social media is an important tool for interaction and conversation with peers.

Social media is blamed to have created a uniquely shallow and trivial culture, making kids unable to socialize face to face. We all live in an era where it is impossible to imagine life without technology. Social media influences our lives to such an extent that the boundaries between the real world and the virtual world are completely blurred.

Children will always push parental buttons, and it is common for any caregiver to inappropriately react to a negative situation. But kids need to be respected, as they tend to treat others the way they’re treated. Through emotional awareness, most adults can simultaneously discipline their children while also treating them with dignity. Don’t scream, belittle or humiliate; rather, enact appropriate consequences in a rational manner.

Communicating with the “Terrible Teens” Concluding Part Swetha Sundar

Some things are more important than others. Pick your battles so that you win the ones that really matter, and let the others go. Adolescence is a time in life that can generate increased conflict levels. Adults do themselves no favors by escalating tensions over issues that in the scheme of things may not be worth it.

There are obviously issues on which parents and adults need to be willing to hold firm on no matter the level of conflict which may result. However is an issue of physical safety as important as the state of a bedroom?

Identifying matters that have room for negotiation and compromise can be an important strategy in reducing the level and frequency of conflict during the teenage years. Teaching and modeling good negotiating techniques and finding compromise are important skills to pass on to teens.

If all you do is criticize, your teen is less likely to be able to distinguish when you are seriously critical, as opposed to just a bit unenthusiastic. Instead, try to be positive about something: if you don’t like the shortness of the skirt, maybe praise its color or the way that she has done her make-up.

Parents are the most important role models children have. Emulate a gracious demeanor by treating your spouse with courtesy, holding the door open for an elderly couple entering a restaurant and speaking kindly to service professionals. If mom and dad are going to sincerely teach children how to be respectful, then they must continually act in a respectful manner. Kids are always watching.

To transition a respectful attitude outside the family household, parents need to provide opportunities for their children to interact with older individuals. Teenagers should understand that respect is both an action and an attitude. Despite the best efforts of their parents, children will make mistakes. Keep a sense of humor and look for teachable moments. By focusing on the positive and celebrating achievements, your maturing child will learn to show respect to others, and may one day teach his or her own children to do the same. Talking isn’t the only way to enjoy, whether it’s cooking or hiking or going to the movies, without talking about anything personal. It’s important for kids to know that they can be in proximity to you, and share positive experiences, without having to worry that you will pop intrusive questions or call them on the carpet for something. You and your teen: two different worlds, two different perspectives and a giant disconnect that can make communicating a real mystery. Distance and explosiveness are often the only ways your teen knows how to communicate when things get intense—which of course only causes more conflict. But take heart , keep trying and stay positive and remember this quote by Harry S Truman, “ I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.”

Art By Randev’s
Art by Vaishali Sisodia
Art by Ratan Kr Agarwala
Art by Poonam Saxena
From Ila’s Lens
Yellow laburnums contrasting with blazing red hibiscus .
Art By Surbhi Sabharwal
Art By Randev’s

WE ARE HAPPY TO SHARE THAT if any MHC member wishes to join hands or collaborate with either of our associates or Partners, s/he can please get in touch with team Motherhood Club for the same.

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