AMANI Birth: Quick Guide for Fathers

©2020 Aisha Al Hajjar & Mohammed Al Hajjar, All Rights Reserved.

Published by AMANI Inc. Delaware, USA First Edition published on Flipsnack® April 2020 Cover Photo of Mohammed Patel and Faatimah Aarooj Patel used with permission.

Illustrations by Assitan Kouyate Read by Notice: The Service Mark (SM) symbol denotes exclusive claim to the AMANI SM name and taglines: “Assisting Mothers for Active, Natural, Instinctive Birth” SM and “Advocating Motivation, Activity, Nutrition, and Islam for Girls” SM for ease of reading, the Service Mark (SM) has been left out of written text.

(All writings are the original work of Aisha and Mohammed Al Hajjar and are based on their personal research, experiences and opinions; they do not necessarily reflect the views of any other organization or publication.)

For more information visit: www.amanibirth.com

ISBN: 978-1-7348991-0-8

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DEDICATION It is with all Praises to Allah (SWT) that this work is dedicated for His sake to all Fathers, Mothers, and their children, whether born or unborn. This is a brother-to-brother, father-to-father resource and we pray that Allah (SWT) provides the best of it and protects from any harm in it. May the births of your babies be easy and your children healthy and pleasing to Him and their parents...AMEEN!

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THIS IS YOUR JOURNEY STEP UP; YOUR FAMILY DEPENDS ON YOUR LEADERSHIP! Your journey to fatherhood has begun. It may seem like a long way off but the reality is that you are already making parenting decisions that will affect your baby for its lifetime.

Also know that your wife and baby need you now like never before. We congratulate you, not only on the coming baby, but also for taking the journey through these pages in an effort to gain some of the knowledge you’ll need to step up and support your family during this miraculous time and to be the best dad possible. Welcome to AMANI Birth. AMANI Dads are the best!

Sincerely, Your Brother,

Mohammed Al Hajjar

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TABLE OF CONTENTS Dedication This is Your Journey Disclaimer Important Islamic Teaching Acknowledgements Books Available Bio and Vision Mohammed’s Personal Journey What is AMANI? PART ONE - Assisting Ch. 1 – History of Birth Attendants Ch. 2 – AMANI Birth Attendants Ch. 3 – AMANI Childbirth Education Ch. 4 – Family and Friends at Labor Ch. 5 – Professional Labor Companions Ch. 6 – AMANI Birth Classes-Part One PART TWO - Mothers Ch. 7 – Who is AMANI Birth for?

Ch. 8 – Physiology of Pregnancy Ch. 9 – Physiology of Labor and Birth Ch. 10 – Enjoying the Birth Experience Ch. 11 – Postpartum Recovery BONUS TOPIC – The Cut Down There BONUS TOPIC – Tips to Avoid Tears Ch. 12 – Baby’s Needs and Rights BONUS TOPIC – Protecting Baby’s Rights BONUS TOPIC – Importance of Breastfeeding Ch. 13 – AMANI Birth Classes-Part Two

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TABLE OF CONTENTS PART THREE - Active Ch. 14 – Pregnancy Nutrition and Exercise Ch. 15 – Birth Consumerism Ch. 16 – Freedom of Movement and Positions BONUS TOPIC – Relaxation Position Ch. 17 – Minimizing and Coping with Pain Ch. 18 – AMANI Birth Classes-Part Three PART FOUR - Natural Ch. 19 – Labor Has a Purpose Ch. 20 – Birth is Inherently Safe Ch. 21 – Birth is Not without Risk Ch. 22 – Birth is Not without Pain Ch. 23 – Dangers of Interventions BONUS TOPIC – Nothing by Mouth and IVs in Labor Ch. 24 – Points to Minimize Interventions Ch. 25 – AMANI Birth Classes-Part Four PART FIVE - Instinctive Ch. 26 – Hawwaa and Maryam (Eve and Mary) Ch. 27 – Emotions, Environment, Hormones Ch. 28 – Follow Instincts, Trust Allah Ch. 29 – Breastfeeding and Baby Care Ch. 30 – AMANI Birth Classes-Part Five Final Thoughts WHY WE DO THIS WORK: Our Cover Family Islamic Vocabulary References

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DISCLAIMER It is important to note that this is not intended to be a medical reference or to replace professional care during pregnancy, labor, or birth. The purpose is to explore the natural and normal functions of birth with trust in the design of the female body to carry out this function. Each family should consider their personal situation and medical history and work closely with their birth team to achieve the safest and best birth experience for mother and baby, wherever and with whomever it takes place.

Allah (SWT) has given us bodies to birth and medical interventions for the rare complications that may arise. We pray that this book will be a source of confidence and encouragement to employ those interventions only when truly necessary.

We cannot stress enough the importance of good birth consumerism by families who are educated and empowered to keep control of their birth and make the best decisions for their particular situations. You have choices in birth; not making any choice is a choice that allows someone else full control over your experience and outcome.

Please note that the authors are not Islamic scholars and there is no intended or implied fatwa (ruling or opinion) in this material.

Feedback and references are welcomed for revised editions.

“Tie your camel” and put your trust in Allah (SWT): get educated and choose wisely and cautiously. Your baby, your recovery, your family, and our worldwide community depend on it!

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IMPORTANT ISLAMIC TEACHINGS

One day the Prophet Mohammed (SAWS) noticed a Bedouin leaving his camel without tying it and he asked the Bedouin, “Why don’t you time down your camel?” The Bedouin answered “I put my trust in Allah.” The Prophet then said, “Tie your camel first, then put your trust in Allah.”

[At-Tirmidhi]

“…Verily never will Allah change the condition of a people until they change themselves…”

[Qur’an 13:11]

This hadith—saying of the Prophet Mohammed (SAWS)—and ayah (verse) teach us to prepare as much as we can while trusting the will of Allah (SWT). It is important that we do our part in preparation for birth, just as in all areas of our lives. viii

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS All praises and thanks are to Allah (SWT). It is with full acknowledgment of Him that this work is submitted and we pray it is accepted and beneficial for all who read it. Anything good in this work is from Him and any error is our own.

After Allah (SWT), Mohammed would like to acknowledge his parents, who took care of him and implanted in him the need to seek knowledge.

Next, he acknowledges his beloved wife, Aisha, for leading him to learn about childbirth and the father’s role throughout the childbearing year. She encouraged him to take the initiative to support other fathers on their fatherhood journeys as well.

He also would like to acknowledge the Bradley® organization, as their workshop opened his eyes to the realities of the medical model of birth. He left their training inspired to learn more and bring up-to-date knowledge to his own community.

Additionally, Mohammed would like to acknowledge all of the men he has met on this journey, who have been inspired by AMANI Birth and shown dedication to their wives and children.

Each one is a constant reminder of the value of this work.

Finally, he would like to acknowledge his family for their patience and support while he and Aisha were away tending to the needs of this mission.

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BOOKS AVAILABLE This is the debut of the AMANI Birth Quick Guide for Fathers and it is our intention to have translated versions soon.

The original AMANI Birth book is available in English, Arabic, Bahasa Indonesia, and soon in Bengali as well, bidnillah.

The Ultimate Islamic Birth Preparation CD and information packed booklet are available as an MP3 and PDF download.

Student Workbooks are currently available in English, Bahasa Indonesia, Arabic, and German.

For more information visit www.amanibirth.com

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BIO AND VISION

Mohammed and Aisha Al Hajjar Mohammed is from Saudi Arabia and has a background in business. Aisha is American and has bachelor’s and master’s degrees in midwifery. Their passion for sharing knowledge through the AMANI Birth platform stems from their own journeys to parenthood.

In fact, when Mohammed recognized that birth is in a state of crisis around the world, with many common and routine obstetric practices being of little use and sometimes even harmful to moms and babies, he left his corporate job. Together they work fulltime promoting knowledge and the importance of informed decision making within the Muslim communities.

Their vision is that all parents have the information they need to prepare for their coming babies and that every mother and baby has the right to supportive, evidence-based care during the childbearing journey. Mohammed especially appreciates the father’s role to protect his family during this time and he advocates for providing men with the knowledge they need to effectively do so.

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MOHAMMED’S JOURNEY When I started my fatherhood journey, I believed my role was simply to lovingly drop my wife at the doctor. I felt “birth was a woman’s thing.” I did not want to enter the birth room, as I believed there was nothing for me to do and I did not want to watch things happening to my wife that were out of my control.

My bottom line was that it was “scary in there.”

I realize now that, yes, it was “scary in there,” yet my wife could not opt out. Considering that I got her pregnant, I now feel sorry that I abandoned her in labor and birth, the most intense moments of the process. What’s more, I realize now that there was a lot I could have done in the labor room to support my wife; the least of which would have been to hold her hand to ease her fears and ensure she did not face it alone.

I now know that there are so many things done as a matter of routine that are often fear-based practices and even harmful. In fact, fear is the greatest reason for interventions: on one hand, women fear pain and ask for drugs, on the other, medical staff fear possible complications and use early interventions that may cause more risk to the mother and baby. These issues raise my protective instincts towards my growing family.

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…”

[Qur’an 4.34]

I realize women deserve loving support. It’s not just about labor day; she needs tender loving care throughout the journey. I also appreciate that the baby is experiencing the journey and deserves protection as well. I recognize that it is uncharacteristic of the husband’s role, as protector of women, to embark on the journey and then disappear at the most intense moments. I want men to have opportunities to learn what I now know in order to be able to best protect and maintain their families. xii

AMANI Birth For a blessed start in life.

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WHAT IS AMANI? AMANI Birth is a philosophy of natural birth and a program to educate people about assisting expectant mothers who wish to birth naturally.

The acronym says it all. In Arabic AMANI means “wishes.”

When we refer to AMANI in Arabic, we say, “AMANI lil Welada Tabiaya,” which means, “Wishes for Natural Birth.”

When we speak of “natural” birth, we mean a birth in which the mother is prepared, educated, supported and encouraged to birth without the interference of medicines, medical procedures, or any other unnatural influences. This does not mean she births alone. In fact, we encourage the support of her husband and careful observance of experienced birthing professionals. Her choice of birthing partners and professionals should be ones who support her all throughout her pregnancy and who trust in the Creator and HIS designs of the female body to carry, birth, and feed our babies.

The AMANI Birth concept believes that birthing naturally means more than reference to how the baby exited the mother’s body (birth canal or abdominal surgery). Having said that, we honor the birth experience itself as a natural, sacred act of worship and a display of trust in our Creator, Allah (SWT).

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PART ONE ASSISTING Expectant mothers need a lot of support from their husbands, emotionally, physically, and mentally. Ñ Take time to listen to her. Ñ Do more for her than before. Ñ Learn with her. Ñ Make decisions with her.

She truly is making sacrifices, even giving of her own body, for the sake of your child. Ñ Share the experience with her. Ñ Make her feel appreciated. Ñ Give her lots of tender loving care. Ñ No one knows her better than you. Ñ She is comfortable being vulnerable only with you. Ñ She is scared; your involvement keeps her stress low.

Fulfill the father’s role by protecting her on the journey.

Allah created all things and thus He created the woman to conceive, carry, birth, and feed her babies. Most women, if supported and encouraged, can carry out these tasks without medical intervention. Birth is a normal physiologic process and with knowledge, preparation, and her husband’s support, most women can birth naturally, which is the lowest risk for both mother and child.

“Thee (alone) we worship; Thee alone we ask for help.”

[Qur’an 1:5]

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CHAPTER 1—HISTORY OF BIRTH ATTENDANTS Husbands have a role to play all throughout the childbearing journey. Most mothers fear being alone in the labor room.

Women need reassurance from you that you will do what it takes to prepare in order to best support her. Tell her you love her and tell her you’ll be there for her from start to finish. Easing her mind with your reassurances will do wonders for your marriage and your family’s physical, mental, and emotional outcomes.

Looking at the history of childbirth will open your eyes as to why husbands play such an important role in childbirth today.

Women of the Community: Historically, women gave birth in their homes, surrounded by elder women of the community who encouraged them through labor and birth. Young girls saw their mothers, aunties, or older sisters birth before it was their turn.

Birth was a miracle, not a mystery.

Obstetric Care: By the late 1800s, medicalized birth turned a normal physiologic event into a medical process. Women were separated from their environment, surrounded by strangers who did strange and oftentimes unnecessary things to their bodies.

Birth transformed from a “community woman’s event” to a “hospital procedure.” Birth became scary and complications arose from fear-based practices and increased maternal stress.

Husbands: Evidence suggests no interventions for healthy women, except observation and tender loving care. Tender loving care, this is a job for the husband! Lovingly stand by her side. Learn along with her to make the best decisions for your wife and child. Protect her from unnecessary interventions. It is in your hands. Your role truly is important on the journey.

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CHAPTER 2 –AMANI BIRTH ATTENDANTS Most fathers get involved with AMANI Birth at the prompting of their wives. Very few seek out childbirth information on their own. Very likely you have opened the pages of this book at the urging of your wife. If, however, you are one of those who eagerly sought out this knowledge, know that you are not alone, but you are the rare exception. On the other hand, if you are the one who is here at your wife’s urging, that’s okay too. Congratulations to you either way. You deserve to be celebrated.

Reading this book shows your dedication to your family, your role as a protector, and indicates that you truly are serious about becoming a father. We encourage you to use the little time you have before your baby arrives to reach out for the support you need. You are amongst the few men that are willing to step up to the real challenges of supporting their wives on this journey.

AMANI Birth Attendants – Tour Guides for Your Journey • • • • • • •

Provide a road map of your journey so you’re never lost.

Encourage support for you and your wife.

Demystify medical language.

Ready to answer your questions.

Provide evidence-based information.

Ease stress for both you and your wife.

Are a safe person to confide in.

AMANI Birth is here to support you, the father, on your journey. You don’t have to figure it out alone. We are eager to assist you to be the best support for your wife and baby. This is a time for learning and preparation.

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CHAPTER 3 –AMANI CHILDBIRTH EDUCATION Ensuring unnecessary and harmful routines are not carried out on your wife and child requires informed decision making and intelligent conversations with your care providers. Education is key to making informed decisions and to having intelligent conversations. Your doctor is more likely to respect you and take you seriously if you demonstrate knowledge and confidence about the childbearing journey.

Childbirth education may be a new concept in your community.

Few fathers understand the need to get educated. Many believe that is what they go to the doctor for. Doctors are not educators.

Doctors are trained in the problems that can occur and are taught to rush the process to get it over with, using harsh and sometimes harmful practices to do so. In fact, the truth is few doctors know or support the normal physiology of birth.

AMANI Birth organizes your educational journey into manageable parts so that you can grasp concepts and apply principles that will prepare you and your wife for your birth and new parenthood. Our focus is on you and we value the father’s role and understand the importance of your education as much as your wife’s.

You will get a lot from the pages of this book. However, we seriously encourage you to sample the AMANI Birth free introductory lesson, either online or in your community. You will be blown away with how much you can learn in just one session. Most dads are reluctant to attend the first class, but eager to return to the second. Give it a try! Invest in your growing family.

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CHAPTER 4 –FAMILY AND FRIENDS At LABOR Many believe birth should be attended by female relatives or friends. In fact, in an era where birth belonged to the community of women, birth was “a woman’s thing.” However, many women today are likely to have had traumatizing births and may bring their own traumas and fears into your wife’s birth room.

They can be a great support, but cannot fill your shoes.

In today’s medicalized, fear-based birth culture, there are debates about routine hospital practices. Obstetric leaders recommend avoiding interventions in labor. Your wife needs you to learn and decide together about what you’ll accept or refuse in labor. In her most vulnerable state, you will be her voice and protector. It is worth repeating: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…”

[Qur’an 4.34]

Don’t feel guilty; it is normal to be afraid to watch childbirth. It is difficult to see the woman you love in pain and feel helpless to relieve her. Rest assured, there are things you can learn and do to relieve her. We also acknowledge that your wife’s painful sounds may become your discomfort. There is a secret: your wife is stronger than you think. In fact, noises or expressions of pain in labor are truly part of her coping techniques.

At the end of the day, you will live with the outcomes of the birth, thus take a vested interest to make the birth plan together.

You are the one who can speak up on her behalf. You can harness her strength and encourage her through the most intense parts of labor. Your presence and your words have the power to empower her. Your belief in her will strengthen your marriage.

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CHAPTER 5 –PROFESSIONAL LABOR COMPANIONS You do not have to go into the labor room alone. AMANI Birth trains professional labor companions to accompany you on your journey. These non-medical birth support professionals are called doulas. Very often your doula is also your childbirth educator. AMANI Doulas have a passion for childbirth and are a wealth of knowledge and skills.

It is important to note, you truly have all it takes to be the only support person in the room. However, you will likely have moments of doubt, or perhaps just need to rest your head or take a break. Having a doula with you allows you to catch your breath, knowing that your wife is still supported. In fact, it is important to never leave your wife alone in the hospital setting.

Keep in mind, a doula will never make decisions for you, she can answer your questions with evidenced-base information and a plethora of experience. You can consider her the walking encyclopedia of medical language, the guidebook of labor coping techniques, and the playbook for the game of labor, suggesting the next offensive or defensive move.

If you think of birth as a sport, the athlete needs lots of coaching and preparation. With childbirth education you will be ready to serve that role. However, all great coaches know that they too need support, encouragement, and coaching. Your doula will see the bigger picture and guide you on your journey.

Having a doula at your birth relieves much stress on both the mother and father. Consider working with an AMANI Birth Doula from your community. We are here to support you.

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CHAPTER 6 – AMANI BIRTH Classes—PART ONE You are likely discovering that there is a lot to learn about your choices in pregnancy and birth. Face-to-face or Online AMANI Birth classes will give you the tools you need to make decisions and prepare for the big day. The topics in the Assisting lessons are geared towards the father and his role in the journey.

1. Mother’s Needs in Pregnancy: The mother experiences a lot of hormonal and physical changes in pregnancy.

She is likely fearful about labor, birth, and even new motherhood. She can never forget for one moment, she is pregnant and has to give birth. In this class you focus on how you can best support her throughout the pregnancy.

2. Mother’s Needs in Labor and Birth: Labor day will be intense. This lesson gives you a virtual toolbox of labor relief and coping skills you can use to assist her through it. Fathers who have these tools at hand enter the labor room with confidence and serve a purpose for their wife.

3. Birth Team Roles: Everyone on the birth team has a role to play. This lesson will help you choose the birth team wisely and ensure you remain in control of your own experience.

4. Making the Birth Plan: Nothing goes as planned if you have not made a plan. She will need you to remain focused on fulfilling your goals. This class helps you prioritize so you can effectively communicate your birth decisions to your medical team.

Consider investing in AMANI Childbirth classes today.

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PART TWO MOTHERS Every husband wants the best for his wife and child. Knowledge is power and helps you both keep control of your choices.

Mothers who feel supported and in control are more likely to experience birth as an empowering journey to motherhood.

Fathers have a vested interest in the mother’s experience and the outcomes for both mother and child. How she experiences birth will affect her for her lifetime. Additionally, the baby also has a birth experience that will affect them for their lifetime too.

It is important that fathers understand the changes occurring in the mother’s body during the childbearing year. This knowledge will help you know what to expect and what is normal. It will also help you adjust to the many emotional responses she is likely to experience so you can be the loving support she needs.

In the Mother’s section, you will explore the physiology of the mother during pregnancy, labor, and birth. You’ll gain understanding of the baby’s need to immediately breastfeed.

You will also get a glimpse of your baby’s rights so you can stand up to protect your child right from the start.

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CHAPTER 7 – WHO IS AMANI BIRTH FOR? AMANI Birth’s purpose is to educate and prepare mothers; but we don’t forget the baby. Bigger than that, we remember that the father is on a journey too. Dads want to be involved and they want to support their wives, but who is guiding them to know how? This is what AMANI Birth is for—YOU! We support you as you become a father by providing the knowledge you need to make informed decisions. These are parenting decisions and have lifelong effects on your family.

• How healthy was mother when she conceived?

• How healthy were you and your sperm at conception?

• Are you aware of nutritional needs during pregnancy?

• Are you encouraging her to exercise to prepare for labor?

• Are you helping her avoid toxic cleaning chemicals?

• Are you protecting her from smoke and pollutants?

• Are you providing physical support at this time?

• Are you ensuring she feels loved and supported now?

• How much effort have you put into learning about birth?

• Have you done your research to help write a birth plan?

• Have you shopped around for a supportive doctor?

• Have you found a birthplace to support what you want?

• Are you helping her practice coping techniques for labor?

• How involved are you, the father, in all of the above?

AMANI Birth helps you explore your options, make informed decisions, and prepare for a blessed start in life. Surely, every couple wants what is best for the mother and child. Parenting is hard and you need to recognize that it starts now.

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CHAPTER 8 – PHYSIOLOGY OF PREGNANCY Allah (SWT) tells us He (SWT) created us in the wombs [Qur’an 7:189]. In fact, He (SWT) provides protections in the womb.

Baby’s Own Physiological Protections • • • • •

Bones develop, first soft, then strong by birth Muscles and skin grow as a protection for life outside Amniotic fluid surrounds baby and insulates in the womb Thick cream forms to protect the skin from this fluid The skull is soft, allowing passage through the pelvis

Mother’s Physiological Protections for Baby • • • • • •

Mother serves as a source of nutrients and oxygen The womb itself encases the baby for protection Her muscles, fat, and skin wrap baby in protection These layers regulate temperature and keep baby safe The womb contracts efficiently when it is time for birth A strong pelvic floor positions baby’s head for birth

The mother’s body is changing and protecting her too. In fact, she can maximize many of these safeties with good nutrition.

• • • •

Digestion slows down to allow more nutrient absorption Blood volume rises to tolerate after-birth bleeding Hormones loosen pelvic joints to accommodate baby Following her instincts serves as a guide and protection

In the coming chapters, you learn how to maximize the many safeguards of pregnancy. When you have knowledge, you can support her by encouraging proper nutrition and safe activities.

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CHAPTER 9 – PHYSIOLOGY OF LABOR AND BIRTH Understanding the stages of labor is like having a road map.

Knowledge is power and allows you to know where she is at in labor and assists you in preparing for what comes next.

Labor is divided into three stages. The first is the longest. Her womb is opening to let baby out. It is divided into three phases.

During the hardest parts, relaxation techniques help her cope.

First Stage of Labor—Early First Stage • •

Typically mild squeezing contractions Not too intense, mother can still talk/walk in this phase

First Stage of Labor—Active Stage • • •

Contractions become more regular and build in intensity She will know for sure she is in labor, no more guessing Relaxing her body helps her cope with contractions

First Stage of Labor—Transition • • •

Contraction pattern changes—can be confusing for her The most intense and emotional part of labor Usually only lasts 15-30 minutes—but this is where she needs your support more than ever

In the second stage of labor she will shift from relaxing her body to working to push the baby out. Third stage of labor is after the birth of the baby, when she will birth the placenta. In the coming chapters, you will learn more about how to support her in each stage. Your calming support on this journey will get her through.

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CHAPTER 10 – ENJOYING THE BIRTH EXPERIENCE You can help her enjoy birth by being loving and supportive.

Moreover, it is important to understand that birth is on a continuum, from traumatic to empowering. Very few women land in the middle; too many experience birth as a trauma.

However, birth can be empowering with knowledge and support.

Empowering

Traumatic

As you can see, much of what causes birth trauma is a result of how she is treated in the medical environment. Our medical model treats birth as a process to be managed, rather than the normal physiologic and sexual event it is. Think about it: your wife got pregnant through sex; her sexual hormone, oxytocin, drives birth and she gives birth through her sexual organs. The sooner we honor birth as a sexual function, the quicker we can help her let go of inhibitions and be vulnerable, just as she is in intimacy. Letting go allows her to let birth happen. She is only used to being sexually vulnerable with YOU! Help her prepare, relax, gain knowledge, and make informed decisions. Be there to lovingly support her. You make the difference.

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CHAPTER 11 – POSTPARTUM RECOVERY After the dust settles, your wife will need your patience and grace as she heals from the birth experience. The good news is that the more natural the birth, the easier her recovery is likely to be—thus, a good reason for you to support her in having as natural a birth as possible, bidnillah.

Even a mother who has as easy a birth as possible, will need time to heal. At the very least, there is an open wound in her uterus where the placenta once resided. This will be a source of postpartum bleeding for about forty days. Much of this time will be spent resting, bonding, and nursing the baby.

Some mothers have minimal after-birth discomfort, while others suffer significant pain. How a woman feels has a lot to do with what was done to her in labor and birth. Common pains include: • • • • •

After Pains: Mild contractions that shrink the uterus Pain “Down There”: Especially if she tore or was cut Hemorrhoids/Piles: Broken blood vessels around anus Breast Pain: Nipple pain or pain from over-full breasts After-Cesarean Pain: (if applicable) To be expected after a major abdominal surgery

Your role during this time is to lovingly support her and provide whatever care she needs. Give her the time she needs to rest and bond with the baby. She will return to her household duties when she is ready. Your patience through this time is key. The more supported she feels, the easier her healing and adjustment to new motherhood will be.

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Bonus Topic

“THE CUT DOWN THERE” Current evidence reveals it is rarely needed to cut the vagina during childbirth, yet in many countries it is still practiced as a matter of routine on every mother. This is an outdated and damaging procedure. Doctors who still perform this cut, called “episiotomy,” will justify it by saying the following.

•

•

•

•

“If I don’t cut, she might tear.” True, she might. In fact, 50% of first-time mothers will tear. Statistically most tears will be only 1st degree, which is less damaging than the 2nd degree damage from the scissors!

“She might tear up!” True too. But in terms of longterm damage, an upwards tear has far less consequences.

Pelvic floor damage (from scissors or a tear) is more likely to cause long term sexual pain and incontinence.

“A tear will be crooked.” True again! Because tears happen in the liquid spaces between the cells; the individual cells are not damaged. If a doctor cuts, they cannot see the cells, thus absolutely damage cells, which cannot be repaired because they never line up perfectly.

“A clean cut hurts less.” This has been disproven in the evidence. Immediately after birth, if mothers are asked about pain, those having episiotomy report less pain— because they were likely given numbing injections before the doctor picked up the scissors! Once that numbness wears off, the mother who tore will report less pain, especially after 2 days, 2 weeks, and even 20 years!

Take note, if 50% of first-time mothers will tear, then 50% will not! It’s worth the risk, since cutting tends to cause more damage than tears and without scissors she may have no damage at all! You can speak up to protect your wife from episiotomy.

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Bonus Topic

TIPS TO AVOID TEARS

Avoiding the dreaded “cut” is a huge step towards protecting your wife’s perineum (the smooth tissue between the vagina and anus). Additionally, there are steps you can take to minimize the risks of tearing, while recognizing that some women will tear no matter how much she prepares.

1. Good Nutrition to ensure healthy tissue elasticity.

2. Squatting Exercises to stretch the tissues before birth.

3. Exposure to Air to keep the tissues healthy.

4. Daily Kegels to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles.

5. Avoid Soap as it dries tissues (use water only).

6. Oils and Massage to soften and moisturize tissues.

7. Talk to Doctor to ensure agreement not to cut.

8. Be Patient during labor; allow baby time to emerge.

9. Do not Spread Legs Far Apart as it increases tears.

10. Push with Self Control to gently ease the baby out.

11. Remind Doctor at the moment of birth not to cut her.

12. Avoid Pain Drugs so she can feel what she is doing.

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CHAPTER 12 – BABY’S NEEDS AND RIGHTS Your baby depends on you to protect the birth and immediate after-birth experience. In fact, breastfeeding is your baby’s first instinct and greatest right. Nothing should interrupt the first feed. Sadly, routine practices disregard these rights and ignore that baby is experiencing the world for the first time. No parent wants their baby to experience shock or trauma. Consider your baby is warm and safe in the womb. Contractions begin to guide him or her to the exit. Which scenario would you prefer?

1. Suddenly, someone is grabbing your baby’s head, yanking, pulling, and forcefully removing them from the birth canal.

The cord, your baby’s only known source of life until now, is suddenly cut, your baby is handed off to a stranger, using gloved hands, flipped over and back, genitals checked, gloved fingers shoved in the mouth (while your baby is desperate to find the breast), vigorously bathed, weighed, and injected with needles. All the while your baby is crying out in distress, as if to say, “WHERE’S MY MOM?!?”

2. Your baby makes their entrance into the world with no outside stimulus. Once out, your baby is placed immediately to the breast to nuzzle or nurse. The cord is still intact and there is oxygenated blood being delivered via the umbilical cord as your baby adjusts to lung breathing. He or she hears your voice calling the adthan, has the first taste of breastmilk, and is peacefully gazing into your wife’s eyes.

Who will protect your baby’s birth experience and first right to find the breast? Step up to protect your baby from the start.

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Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar…

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Bonus Topic

PROTECTING BABY’S RIGHTS Your baby is having experiences and connecting with his environment from the start. How your baby is greeted by the world has lifelong effects. Although they will not remember their immediate after-birth experiences, they do matter. Your role is to protect baby’s after-birth rights without interruption.

Consider these important duties of the father, as per the Prophet Mohammed’s (SAWS) practices shortly after birth: • • •

Calling the adthan in baby’s right ear soon after birth Calling the iqama in baby’s left ear soon after birth Softening dates and rubbing a very small amount on the gums and palate of the newborn (tahneek)

Also consider your wife’s and baby’s greatest instincts are to be together, skin-to-skin, discovering one another, bonding, and experiencing the first breastfeed. These physiologic norms are important to the health and emotional welfare of them both. In fact, the first hour after birth is often called “the golden hour” and mother’s and baby’s time together should not be interrupted.

Now consider routines in some medical settings that separate baby and interrupt Islamic practices and physiologic norms: • •

Bathing, weighing, examining of your baby Newborn vaccinations and eye ointment

None of these routines are urgent and could be done on your wife’s chest or delayed until later. Medical staff is often in a hurry to get their duties done and puts their schedule ahead of the rights and needs of your family. Your after-birth desires should be noted on the birth plan and it is your role to protect this golden hour.

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Bonus Topic

IMPORTANCE OF BREASTFEEDING How your baby is fed will have lifelong health implications. The truth is, nothing compares to the milk that comes free flowing from your wife’s breast. This provision (rizq) for your child is a gift from God. In fact, Allah (SWT) encourages two years of nursing, as does the World Health Organization.

Your baby will be born with a strong instinct to suckle at the breast. Breast milk is custom-made food for your infant and no manmade formula can compare. Breast milk changes with every feed to meet your child’s current needs, it is free, digests easily, and never contaminated (when fed directly from the breast).

Take a vested interest in how your wife plans to feed your baby.

Formula milk has its place when there are complications. Nonetheless, it is expensive, difficult for your baby to digest, leads to constipation and pungent poos. In fact, it takes one month of exclusive breastfeeding to clear just one formula bottle from your baby’s gut. Formula feeding increases your baby’s risk of lifelong health consequences, such as diabetes, obesity, and heart disease. Formula is like junk food for your baby.

Breastfeeding also has health benefits for the mother, reducing her risk of breast and ovarian cancers by 50%, while shrinking her uterus back to normal size. Breastfeeding facilitates bonding.

As a father, your role in breastfeeding is to lovingly encourage her to persevere. If she struggles, get her the support of a lactation consultant. Breastfeeding, once mastered, is far easier than bottle feeding. Your support makes a difference.

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CHAPTER 13 – AMANI BIRTH Classes—PART Two You have been exploring the changes taking place in mother’s body and reading about your role to protect her and baby. Still, there are many more details to consider. Live or Online AMANI Birth classes provide the knowledge you need to fully support your wife and baby throughout their journey. Classes expand your knowledge with topics in the Mothers series.

1. Physiology of Pregnancy: In this lesson you dive deeper into changes taking place in the mother’s body, explore their significance, and learn how to best support her as she gives of her own body for the sake of your child.

2. Stages of Labor: In this class you gain a deeper understanding of the stages of labor, like a road map of what to expect, which provides confidence as you make your journey. You also learn how you can step up to your role in the hardest part of labor.

3. Overview of Labor and Birth: In this lesson you learn to recognize the signs of each stage, most importantly mother’s typical emotional reactions to labor, and you’ll gain the tools needed to support her through them all.

4. Postpartum Care: In this class you learn more about mother’s needs after birth, how to support her emotional mood swings, and the benefits of breastfeeding to both mother and child. Learn how you can support your wife and baby right from the start.

Consider investing in AMANI Childbirth classes today.

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PART THREE ACTIVE Perhaps this is the most exciting part of the book for dads. In this section you discover tangible things you can do to support a healthy pregnancy and easier labor and birth, bidnillah. You will learn proper nutrition, exercises, the importance of maintaining freedom of movement in labor, and tools to cope with labor pains. Enjoy these chapters and put the tools to use.

Allah (SWT) gave us a description of birth in Qur’an. The fact birth is mentioned gives it a status of importance. The fact that it is Mariam’s birth, whom Muslim women are told to follow, makes it even more important for us to analyze and apply. “…childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree…[a voice] called out to her from beneath the [tree]: Grieve not!

Thy Sustainer has provided a river beneath thee; shake the trunk of the tree…it will drop fresh, ripe dates upon thee.

Eat, drink, and let thine eye be gladdened!” [Qur’an 19:23-26] Consider the following: • • • •

Maryam found a quiet place to birth.

Shaking a tree indicates she was upright and active.

She was ordered by Allah (SWT) to eat and drink.

Her birth was considered a time to be “gladdened.”

Comparing this verse to many hospital protocols reveals stark contradictions to the orders of Allah (SWT). Policies of “nothing by mouth” and “lying on your back” for delivery are outdated and fear-based protocols that have no basis in science. We must ask ourselves, shall we follow outdated Western practices, or would you rather follow the orders of our Lord?

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CHAPTER 14 – PREGNANCY NUTRITION AND EXERCISE Nutrition: Helping your wife make healthy food choices is key to keeping her low risk and growing a healthy baby. Low risk mothers have more choices in childbirth and generally better outcomes. What she eats on a daily basis matters. Below are some key points about nutrition: Ñ A variety of nutrients keep mother and baby healthy. Ñ Maintaining hydration is vital (2 L of fluids daily). Ñ 80-100 g of protein is needed in her diet daily. Ñ Caloric intake must support pregnancy and her activity.

You cannot afford to skimp on proper nutrition. When fathers get involved and make food choices with her, she is more likely to maintain the healthy, well-balanced diet she needs.

Exercise: Regular physical activity is needed for strength and stamina. During pregnancy, exercises should never be painful or hurt. She should start exercising now, it is never too early.

Pregnancy exercises are not stressful or hard to do. It is best to sit with an AMANI Educator to learn all of the exercises properly. Below are some of the simpler ones we recommend: Ñ Walking, which opens the inlet of the pelvis Ñ Squatting, which opens the outlet of the pelvis Ñ Kegels, contracting and relaxing the pelvic floor (especially important for sexual health and reducing the risk of tears during childbirth) Nutrition and exercises are lifestyle changes that need encouragement to maintain. You can make the difference in her commitment to eating well and exercising for your baby’s sake.

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CHAPTER 15 – BIRTH CONSUMERISM Finding the right provider and birthplace will have a huge influence on how your wife and baby experience birth and in their overall outcomes. As the leader of your household, you have a duty to provide the best care for your family. Birth is a business and you are a consumer in the industry of birth care.

Shopping for the right doctor is a vital parenting obligation.

As the father you should attend all pregnancy appointments with your wife. Do not just settle on the first doctor you meet (unless he or she is absolutely perfect, which is not very likely).

Shop around and do some research, just as you would if you were shopping for a new car. Consider your visits with the doctor as opportunities to interview him or her about their practice and willingness to support you in your birth plans. Do not stop searching until you are satisfied that you have found the best support for your wife and child. Below are a few questions you could ask during visits: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

How often do you perform episiotomy?

Do you allow food and drink in labor?

Do you support freedom of positions in labor and birth?

What is your induction rate? Cesarean rate?

Do you support delayed cord clamping?

Do you support intermittent fetal monitoring?

Will you allow the husband and doula both in the room?

At the end of the day, all your preparation and planning can be lost to the wrong care provider. Step up and help your wife sort through the options for the best chance at supportive care.

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CHAPTER 16 –FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT AND POSITIONS Ensuring she has freedom of movement and birthing positions is key to her comfort and ease. Your role is to protect her rights to be active and to physically support her in her favorite positions.

Every mother and every labor is different. However, below are pretty typical positions favored at various stages of labor.

Early First Stage: This is a time for ignoring labor for as long as she can. If it is her normal sleeping time she should rest for the energy she will need later. If she is awake and energized she should stay upright and active, go for a walk, as it will open the inlet of her pelvis and is revealed to shorten labor by about 28%.

Active Labor/Transition: When she becomes too tired to remain active, or when labor is kicking her butt, she should consider positions that help her achieve deep relaxation— relaxation is the key to coping with the hardest part of labor. In AMANI Birth classes you have the opportunity to try our most favored position for labor, the left-side-lying position (see illustration on the next page). This position works with gravity and is much better for mom than lying flat on her back.

Second Stage Labor: The time for actively pushing your baby into the world. Upright positions are most effective. Squatting opens the pelvis by 10-30% and shortens the birth canal, thereby reducing the pushing time needed to get your baby out of her body. Many women choose to push on their side or on hands and knees. On her back may be best for doctor but not for your wife.

Assist your wife in being an active participant in her birth.

Support her right to choose her positions for labor and birth.

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Bonus Topic

RELAXATION POSITION

Relaxation is the key to the hardest part of labor. The more it hurts the more she should relax. The illustration above shows the most ergonomic position for late pregnancy and labor, the leftside-lying position. In labor, every contraction pulls the uterus forward. This position works with gravity by allowing the uterus to fall naturally forward. Help her learn this position by having her lie on her left side, with her left arm behind her back. Her pillow should be under her head but not under her shoulder. It should be slanted in front of her to support her right arm from the elbow to her hand. Her left leg should be back and her right leg forward with a pillow supporting from her knee to her ankle.

Loving massage and encouraging her to relax every muscle, even the tongue in her mouth, will minimize the most intense moments of labor. Help her into this position and practice relaxation with massage for ten minutes every night from now on until she gives birth.

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CHAPTER 17 –MINIMIZING AND COPING WITH PAIN Allah (SWT) tells us in Qur’an that He (SWT) will not put on us more than we can bear. The pains of childbirth are no exception.

The truth is, she will not get something the size of a baby out of her body without some discomfort. Drugs are sold promising a pain free experience. Sadly, most people trust pharmaceuticals more than the promise of Allah (SWT). Moreover, pain drugs increase risks, statistically quadrupling her chances of surgical delivery. Drugs do not eliminate pain, but rather rearrange it, such that she feels pain after they wear off, which is when she has a new baby to care for. Moreover, the pain drugs used in labor are narcotics. Would you allow your wife to use narcotics in pregnancy? Why do it in labor? There are natural techniques that reduce the intensity of labor to a manageable level.

Consider these things you can do to help her cope: Ñ Guide her in deep calming breaths. Ñ Support deep relaxation, the key to coping with labor. Ñ Remind her to close her eyes and tune out distractions. Ñ Provide loving massage. Ñ Work with contractions with forward leaning positions. Ñ Encourage her to let go and surrender to the birth. Ñ Make dua for her. Ñ Help her focus on just one contraction at a time. Ñ Don’t ask her questions in hard labor; she can’t answer. Ñ Encourage low groaning noises to cope with pain. Ñ Reassure her of your love and support.

Applying these techniques helps her manage pain within a bearable level. Your encouragement will make the difference.

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CHAPTER 18 – AMANI BIRTH Classes—PART THREE In this Quick Guide for Fathers, you have been introduced to several practical techniques and are well on your way to supporting your wife’s journey throughout pregnancy, labor and birth. For a more in-depth study and mastery of these concepts, consider taking the full AMANI Birth course, either online or face-to-face. Below are the topics you will cover in the Active series.

1. Pregnancy Exercises: In this lesson you will practice all of the recommended pregnancy exercises to build the strength, stamina, and flexibility she needs for labor and birth. You will also begin relaxation practices to help her prepare for the big day of labor.

2. Pregnancy Nutrition: In this class you explore the diet needed for growing a healthy baby. You also learn how varied nutrients work together so that she can maximize the impact of every bite she takes.

3. Birthing Positions: In this lesson you learn the importance of keeping her off her back in labor and childbirth. You will explore various positions, uncover the interesting history of labor positions, and understand how to minimize pain with labor positions.

4. Labor Practice: In this class you incorporate a labor simulation to your nightly labor practices. Having practiced for the big day will give you both the sense of confidence needed to go through your labor naturally.

Consider investing in AMANI Childbirth classes today.

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PART FOUR NATURAL Let’s begin by assuming everything is normal in your wife’s pregnancy, if she was healthy when she conceived, and there have been no signs of complications. This means that you enter pregnancy and birth with trust that Allah (SWT) is the Creator of her body and He (SWT) designed birth as a normal, natural bodily function.

Approaching your birth assuming normalcy will give you the peace of mind to face labor with a focus on allowing the natural process to unfold. It will also help you to minimize unnecessary medical interventions with confidence.

Of course, here is where we also have to acknowledge that complications do sometimes arise. You shouldn’t worry about what may never happen, but do be realistic and flexible if medical intervention truly is warranted.

The key is to have knowledge to weigh the benefits and risks of all your options, making decisions where benefits outweigh the risks. It is especially important for the father to be educated, because he will be the default decision maker should his wife be unable to speak for herself.

Realizing that most births go smoothly, if left alone to do so, can help you to stay the course of natural birth. Informed decision making truly is at the heart of everything and knowledge is power.

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CHAPTER 19 – LABOR HAS A PURPOSE From your perspective, labor may seem to be agony. In fact, it may seem easier to just give her drugs. Truthfully, it is harder for you to watch your wife in labor than it is for her to be in labor—but don’t tell her that! She might strangle you!

It is a matter of perspective. We believe labor is positive communication from our Creator that serves purposes far beyond the vaginal exam. Consider just a few listed below: • • • • •

Forewarning of Major Life Event: Mothers receive fair warning, via contractions, to get to a safe place for birth.

Psychological Adjustment: Reaching a point in labor, where this hurts and we must let go and let it happen, helps us transition from pregnancy to new motherhood.

Surrender and Submission: In the labor we must let go and surrender—ideally to Allah (SWT), not pain drugs; surrender is an important part of the process.

Body Positioning: Contractions force mothers into the positions that are safest for the birth of our babies.

Fetal Heimlich Maneuver: Fluid in baby’s lungs are expelled from tight passage through the vaginal canal.

Skipping labor—going for elective C-section—is far more dangerous for mom and baby and the duo miss out on many of the beneficial effects of experiencing labor. As a husband, don’t be tempted to “put her out of her misery” via drugs or surgery.

She’s got this, she’s strong enough, and if you are there to support her she can see this through. Trusting that Allah (SWT) created labor for a purpose allows us to surrender to Him. 33

CHAPTER 20 – BIRTH IS INHERENTLY SAFE Allah (SWT) built safety nets into the childbearing year.

Unfortunately, our global culture of fear-based childbirth spreads stories of all the things that go wrong, but rarely do. We seldom hear the voice of all the things that can and usually do go right. Perhaps our mothers would be less stressed about their labors if we spent more time reassuring the ways that the process is naturally protected. In Chapter 8 we detailed some examples.

Check out even more below: •

• • • • •

The cervix (opening of womb) will not dilate until baby is ready to be born, no amount of walking or sex or any other normal daily event is going to bring your baby out of her body before it’s time.

Mother gets 5-15 minutes rest periods between pushing contractions so she can recoup her energy (let her rest).

Naturally birthing mothers have alert babies who work with the mother to rotate through the pelvis—birth is a mother/baby dance and baby plays a role (if undrugged).

Vaginal flora is transferred to baby during birth, this establishes baby’s gut biome (important for digestion).

Breastfeeding is the right amount, the right temperature, and adjusts to baby’s current needs.

Optimal timing of cord clamping (3 full minutes or longer) provides baby with oxygen, nutrients and the blood supply that is rightfully his and provides stem cells to heal any bumps and bangs from the passage of birth.

You can reassure her that Allah (SWT) created her body to do this and she and your baby are well protected on the journey.

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CHAPTER 21 – BIRTH IS NOT WITHOUT RISK Most of us grow up under the protection of our parents. Upon adulthood, many people do not transition to taking responsibility for themselves. There is false belief that someone else is playing a guardianship role. The truth is that no one has your back but you. Now that your baby is coming, it is a good wake up call to grow up and take responsibility for yourself and your family.

Doctors often take on a paternal role, in part because people do not get educated and just expect them to tell them what to do, and in part because that is what doctors expect of their patients, compliance to doctor’s orders.

In fact, many people take medications or have medical tests or procedures without even understanding why they are doing it.

“Doctor said so,” is a common reply if asked why they are taking or doing this or that. “Not knowing” would be acceptable if you were 3 years old, but not 23, 33, etc. Step up and have intelligent conversations with care providers. Recognize that birth has risk—EVERYTHING does. In fact, every intervention has risks and your job is to weigh the benefits and risks before submitting your family to anything that isn’t necessary.

Ask questions and do your own research before submitting to anything that isn’t an urgent matter of life or death. In most things, you have time to get more information and consider your options. Realize it is your duty to your wife and unborn child to use your B.R.A.I.N. (decision making tool taught in AMANI Birth classes) and make decisions wisely.

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CHAPTER 22 – BIRTH IS NOT WITHOUT PAIN As stated before, your wife will not get something the size of a baby out of her body without discomfort. Taking pain drugs does not make birth pain-free, it just moves pain to after birth.

She can cope with the labor pain, as prescribed by Allah (SWT).

This means dealing with labor for a few hours or couple of days prior to birth. Typically, moms who do, feel great as soon as the baby is born. That is important, because you want her to be at her best when she has a new baby to take care of. It is of no use to take drugs and escape labor pain only to feel the pain afterward from the medical interventions used to deliver her baby, because she could not push and the baby could not rotate.

Consider this: Allah, (SWT) is merciful, He (SWT) does not slam her with the hardest contraction she is going to have right from the start. She also does not have hours or days of continuous pain. The contractions start out mild, have breaks in between, and as they get stronger, her hormones increase pain tolerance.

That is not to say it isn’t intense, but the entire labor is not intense. By the time it gets to that point, she is nearly done. She does not need drugs. She needs loving encouragement from you to remind her she can do it and your support with the natural pain relief techniques she learned during pregnancy.

Also remember that Allah (SWT) will not put on her more than she can bear. More importantly, realize that pain medications are narcotics that will reach your baby in one minute and have the potential to cause harm to mom and baby. They are not risk free.

Why take risks she does not have to? Be the support she needs.

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CHAPTER 23 – DANGERS OF INTERVENTONS There are risks to every intervention. Note, it is your wife and your baby and you both have the right to accept or refuse anything offered. Hospitals are not prisons, they cannot force you to accept things you do not want (some will try or bully their practices on you). Education is key to making informed decisions about what you accept or refuse of these options.

Realize that medical “truths” change. What was common practice yesterday has gone by the wayside today. Some of what we do today will be gone tomorrow. Nothing is absolute and medical knowledge is no exception. That means medical practices are imperfect at best. What is offered is not mandatory and sometimes is not even safe or best for your wife and baby.

It cannot be stressed enough that the less we do to her, the better! Obviously, if there is a complication, we are grateful for the skills and talents of our care providers. The problem comes when unnecessary, routine interventions are forced on every mother. In fact, the World Health Organization says: “…normal birth, provided it is low-risk, only needs close observation by a trained and skilled birth attendant in order to detect early signs of complications. It needs NO intervention but encouragement, support, and a little tender loving care.”

Some quick examples of unnecessary routines that can harm include “nothing by mouth”, IV fluids, pain drugs, forcing mom on her back, episiotomy, drugs/procedures to start or speed labor, and more. You must decide what to accept or refuse. Get the knowledge you need to step up to be her advocate!

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Bonus Topic

NOTHING BY MOUTH AND IVS IN LABOR Some doctors enforce “NPO” (nothing by mouth) policies. A mother not allowed food or drink can become dehydrated and exhausted. Doctors mitigate these risks by ordering a routine IV. Neither of these have any basis in current evidence-based practice. Both are outdated and fear-based. They hinge on the idea that “maybe she’ll need C-section” and fasting ensures she doesn’t vomit under general anesthesia and choke on vomitus.

First of all, mother’s digestion slows down in pregnancy. This means starving her in labor will not clear her stomach content, so she may as well eat and drink. Not to mention, most Csections are done under epidural, not general anesthesia. If moms are awake and vomit, they will spit it out, not choke on it.

IV’s have normal saline (basically sodium water). They seem harmless, but IVs have risk. If one bubble is left in the line it can cause pulmonary embolism and death. A bag of IV fluid can be tainted or mislabeled. These are miniscule risks and not to be worried about if she needs IV. But why risk it if she doesn’t?

If she is NPO for long, they will add glucose (sugar) to her IV to perk her up. That reduces pain tolerance and floods baby with sugar too. After birth, the baby’s pancreas will still make insulin against sugar and baby becomes hypoglycemic. Baby then goes to NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) for sugar water bottles to even things out. All this from an outdated, fear-based routine that is best refused. Encourage her to eat dates, drink water, and stay off IVs, unless there is a medical reason for it.

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CHAPTER 24 – POINTS TO MINIMIZE INTERVENTONS Medical interventions have their place and save lives, and may Allah (SWT) reward our care providers for their good intentions and good works. At the same time, medical interventions add risks and can cause harm. If your wife is healthy and there are no complications, why risk adding unnecessary interventions to the equation? The first intervention tends to be the one mothers asks for themselves, and that is pain drugs. We can build her confidence, give her the encouragement she needs, practice coping techniques, and choose care providers carefully, thereby, minimizing harm from unnecessary interventions. Consider these ten points: 1. Education and knowledge (consider AMANI classes) 2. Physical preparation (nutrition/exercise) 3. Mental/emotional preparation 4. Good choice of care provider and birthplace 5. Determination to birth naturally 6. Confident, loving support (dad must step up) 7. Well thought out birth plan 8. Advocate to resist the first intervention (dads step up) 9. Ask questions, demand right to informed consent/refusal 10. Make dua and trust Allah (SWT) Be flexible and know Allah (SWT) is the best of all Planners.

Sometimes intervention is needed and you should not feel bad or ashamed if interventions do become necessary. Nothing matters more than a healthy mom and baby. Be wise about accepting or refusing interventions. Education and good relations with your care provider are key. Support your wife in decision making.

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CHAPTER 25 – AMANI BIRTH Classes—PART FOUR In AMANI classes we focus on the natural process of labor and birth. This is a normal physiologic event and not a medical activity. We also acknowledge complications may happen and remain flexible in such times. Additionally, we know that we can avoid many complications by trusting the natural process, using natural coping techniques, and minimizing unnecessary interventions. Below are topics covered in the Natural series.

1. The Purpose of Labor: Discover reasons for labor and its role in the parenthood journey. There is more to labor than what can be measured in a vaginal exam. We discuss the tendency of medical staff to be impatient with the labor process and uncover benefits of patience and surrender to the time prescribed by Allah (SWT).

2. Working with Your Body: Labor is a physical and emotional cooperation between mom and baby. Explore how the body works and empower mothers to choose positions and actions supportive of the natural process.

3. Complications: Learn about common complications and discover how to deal with some in a more natural manner. Remain flexible if interventions are needed and consider recovery tips if Cesarean becomes necessary.

4. Minimizing Medical Interventions: Recognize how the many pieces covered in classes come together to minimize the chances of needing interventions. Knowing what’s normal and being equipped to cope naturally will reduce interventions and their risks of complications.

Consider investing in AMANI Childbirth classes today.

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PART FIVE INSTINCTIVE Birth is instinctual. In fact, if mothers were left to just get on with it, they would manage purely out of instinct. However, we have a medical birth culture today that has separated mothers from their environments and overrides instinct with instructions.

Oftentimes instructions go against instincts, and as you have already read, sometimes even cause harm.

Your job, as the father, is to help her tune into her instincts and trust what Allah (SWT) has given her. Help her to tune into the signals that come from within. Start by tuning out distractions so that she can access the primitive brain that guides through labor.

Understanding the importance of tuning into her body and turning to Allah (SWT) is a huge step in accessing all of the intuitive instructions she needs. These instincts are already present for labor, birth, breastfeeding, and beyond.

Since very few mothers will birth alone in a completely instinctive state, they need a knowledge bank of information to fall back on. You see, when mother is constantly blasted with instructions that go against her instincts, it can be hard to know what to do. Knowledge is power, and having gained the knowledge she needs, she can sort through all the interruptions and make the best decisions for herself and your baby. Your job is to get as educated about your choices as she does so that you can be a reminder and support as she journeys through the biggest event of her life. Being an integral part of the process with her also increases marital bonds and father-baby bonding as well.

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CHAPTER 26 – HAWWA AND MARYAM (EVE AND MARY) It is clear that these two mothers, Hawwa (Eve), the mother of mankind, and Maryam (Mary), chosen above all women of all nations, had natural births. In fact, we know they both birthed only with the help of Allah (SWT). We can also conclude women of the Prophet Mohammed’s (SAWS) time did as well, given medical interventions were not introduced until after their era.

We can learn a lot from our sisters and mothers of the past. They illustrate that women and babies were created to manage their births through instincts. Each one of us has what we need, deep inside—be we the baby unborn or the mother-to-be.

Moreover, the design of birth is created by the One and Only Creator of all things. The majority of women can give birth just as our foremothers did. The father’s role is to help her eat well, exercise, and prepare in order to remain healthy and low-risk during pregnancy.

Birth cultures today are dominated by medical practices that are sometimes oppressive. In fact, protocols are often based on administrative rules, not medical science. The best thing you can do is to get educated together. Learn as much as you can about the normal functions of her body during this miraculous time.

Make informed decisions and take your parenting role seriously, starting from now. Work together with your wife and learn as much as you can in the little time you have.

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CHAPTER 27 – EMOTIONS, ENVIRONMENT, HORMONES Hormones play a key role in the birth process. Although a person cannot control their hormones, they can influence them by controlling their emotions. That is because emotions have a direct effect on the hormones that flow. A person who is stressed, worries about every little thing, and who gets upset easily, will have the hormones of stress. If she is pregnant, it will affect her baby, who will also feel stress in the womb. On the other hand, a person who is calm and doesn’t overreact to things beyond her control, will more likely have calming and peaceful hormones, even “love” hormones. If pregnant, her baby will experience calm, peace, and love in the womb.

As the husband, you can play a big role in the hormones flowing through your wife’s body and to your unborn child. What are you doing to make her feel safe, reassured, cared for, and loved?

Does she know how much you love her? Are you stepping up at this precious time and extending yourself like never before? Are you showering her with love and compassion every single day?

Take responsibility for the huge role you play.

In labor, hormones become vitally important. Oxytocin, the “love” hormone is what drives birth. Adrenaline, the “flight or fight” hormone, which can be evoked by stress, fear, or upset, will make labor longer and more difficult and may result in need for interventions. You are her “love” partner. You are the one with whom she is accustomed to letting go and letting her oxytocin flow. Your presence, protection, touch, and words can make the difference in the labor room. Reassure her from now that you will be there and that you will protect her journey.

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CHAPTER 28 – FOLLOW INSTINCTS, TRUST ALLAH We lost touch with the instincts that drive birth. We have allowed dominant procedures and fear-based birthing culture to take over and disconnect us from our Creator, a'uthubilla.

Medical care improves the safety of many facets of childbirth.

Consider some of the following important medical discoveries: • • •

Rh blood incompatibility when a mother is Rh negative and her child is Rh positive.

Urinary tract infections can lead to preterm labor.

Sophisticated surgical procedures to deliver babies that experience too much stress in labor (less likely if mother is laboring without drugs), have a true disproportion between baby’s head and mother’s pelvis (truly rare), or congenital anomalies that make vaginal birth impossible.

For these and many other medical discoveries and cures, we are grateful. But make no mistake about it, far too many medical procedures are of limited use or harmful to the mother and baby.

One such example is pain drugs given to most women. The intent may be a humane attempt to put women out of what is perceived as the “misery of childbirth.” However, consider all the risks that come with these drugs, the fact that Allah (SWT) won’t put on her more than she can bear, and that labor pain is manageable with the right knowledge and tools.

It is important to note that we seemed to have mistaken quiet for pain free. Noise is a normal part of labor and is a coping technique for moms. Don’t hush her! Encourage her to let go and find the power within her that comes with labor noises.

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CHAPTER 29 – BREASTFEEDING AND BABY CARE Getting mother and baby off to a good start are keys to breastfeeding and healthy bonding. Breastfeeding is the most important component of baby care. Mothers and babies who experience birth in the most natural way typically have an easier time adjusting to breastfeeding right away. The first hours after birth are crucial to the success of long-term breastfeeding. You can play a role by ensuring that your wife and baby are given the undisturbed time they need to establish the first feed.

Take note that your baby will have growth spurts at about 2-3 weeks of age, 6 weeks of age, and again at 3 months. These are times you can expect your baby to nurse constantly. It may seem like she just fed and yet baby wants more. This does not mean she does not have enough milk; it is normal. In fact, it is your baby stimulating her breast in preparation for the increased volume needed as baby grows. Encourage her to nurse, nurse, nurse through these times. Do not get frustrated and do not suggest “just one bottle” or pacifier/dummy. Your support, understanding, and encouragement will help her through.

In fact, “just one bottle” can throw off her milk supply and your baby’s relationship with the breast. Trust her body to produce what your baby needs. Breastfeeding is a beautiful fulfillment of Allah’s (SWT) promise of provision (rizq) for each new child.

Your loving support, encouragement, and appreciation of her breastfeeding your baby can make a difference to her success.

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CHAPTER 30 – AMANI BIRTH Classes—PART FIVE No doubt, you have discovered a lot in this Quick Guide for Fathers. We are proud of you for taking the time to read through and consider a new perspective of pregnancy, labor and birth.

There is so much more in store for you in AMANI Birth classes, whether in person or online. Birth is instinctual and in the Instinctive series of the class you will explore the following.

1. The Role of Hormones in Pregnancy, Labor, and Birth: Explore hormones that affect the bodily functions during pregnancy, labor, and birth. Discover the link between emotions and hormones and the importance of healing past emotional traumas before labor starts.

2. Protecting Your Birth Environment: Learn how to communicate with your birth team to express your decisions. Advocate for your right be informed and insist that your choices of informed consent or refusal are respected. Also learn what to do if you do not make it to your birthplace on time.

3. Intuition: Learn how to help your wife tune out distractions and tune into her inner voice. Learn the art of distinguishing between healthy birth noises that signify she is rocking her birth and panic noises that indicate a need for more support and guidance.

4. Breastfeeding and Baby Care: Recognize how valuable breastfeeding is for mom and baby. Consider pros and cons of vaccinations and routine newborn procedures.

Explore normal newborn behavior and tips for baby care.

Consider investing in AMANI Childbirth classes today.

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FINAL THOUGHTS As we come to a close, we want to thank you for reading and congratulate you, again, on the coming baby. We encourage you to take it a step further and explore AMANI Birth classes for the in-depth knowledge you and your wife both need at this time.

Please visit: www.amanibirth.com to find AMANI Birth Educators in your community. Private or group classes are a great place to learn and demonstrate how dedicated you are to your wife and baby. Your marriage will strengthen as you prepare for the journey.

amanibirth.online to explore online content you can access right away. You also have the opportunity to access AMANI Educators in an online classroom and may even meet face-toface in your community for hands-on guidance with the more practical lessons, such as exercise and relaxation.

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WHY WE DO THIS WORK: OUR COVER FAMILY Please take a moment to read this testimonial of our cover dad.

AMANI Birth Testimony

By Mohammed Patel I believe that in order to deliver an accurate testimony, the reader is required to gain an understanding of the individual, his characteristics and his or their circumstances. Therefore, I will start with some key points leading up to the decision of undertaking birthing classes, elaborate slightly into the content of the course, and finish with our birthing experience.

As per usual, it was gruesomely dull and cold in the northwest of England in November of 2014 when I was offered a job in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. My wife Kaval and I, newly married, had always talked about living abroad, and now we had a chance. A few Googles-ofMohammed Patel, Kaval Mukhtar, and their baby, Faatimah Aarooj Patel Riyadh later, I accepted the offer. I sent my passport off to the embassy and started packing.

The days leading up to the date of travel were filled with dinner parties with large numbers of extended family members, friends, and extravagant home cooked meals. I come from a large family and practically grew up with all my cousins. So, although the thought of leaving everyone I knew was tough, the excitement of 49

an adventure was too tempting. Honestly, it wasn’t until I actually arrived at Manchester Airport that I even got emotional.

Tears violently broke out on the faces of my parents and siblings, and subsequently the thought of leaving them, and literally everyone and everything I knew, to move to a different country left me dripping in tears too. I’ve always acted on impulse, and have always trusted my gut, but for a brief moment I wondered if this was the right move.

Several months later, Kaval and I were loving living abroad and had learned a lot about the Saudi culture, religion, language and history. I already felt like I had advanced mentally, developed myself spiritually, grew closer to my wife, and of course gained about 20 pounds.

It was then that Kaval surprised me with a card in an envelope with the words “Hello daddy, my heart started beating today, I can’t wait to meet you.”

It’s a very unique and special feeling when you find out you are going to become a father for the first time. I remember the thoughts that ran through my mind at that precise moment.

Memories of my father carrying me to bed from the car as I pretended to be asleep. The times I begged for coins so I could run to the arcade. I remembered the times he’d stop at McDonalds for me, although my mother argued she had cooked dinner for us at home. As I reminisced, a smile appeared on my face and all I knew was that I’d be the best father I could for my unborn.

A few months later, my wife suggested we take natural birthing classes, and I had passively agreed. I imagined the classes were for her, therefore I was unenthusiastic when I learned I also had to attend. It is important to mention at this stage, I come from a very cultural British Indian family. Simply, I was raised with a clear distinction between the roles of men and women. My father worked, and my mother was a housewife. As for 50

pregnancy and birthing, it was unheard of for men in our culture to extend to or get involved with the process. But an hour later, I had reluctantly stepped out of the car to attend my first ever birthing class.

We were welcomed to the class by Aisha and Mohammed Al Hajjar, and needless to say an hour later I was ashamed at my reluctance to attend. My eyes had been opened to the role of the father during pregnancy and birth. I never imagined the responsibility of a father would be so significant throughout all stages. I couldn’t think of a single male in my entire family who had fulfilled the role fitting for a supportive husband in a birthing room.

I recalled the times when I was at the hospital for the birth of my niece and nephew. Both times I was outside with my brother-inlaw, laughing and joking while my mother and aunt were in the birthing room supporting my sister. I always imagined it to be something similar for the birth of my child too. Alhumdulillah, how wrong I was, but we will get to the birth of my daughter a little later.

I think the lack of knowledge and education amongst men is one of many reasons why we are completely uninvolved during pregnancy and birthing.

The classes are designed to cover the mental and physical impact on women, the nutrition and exercises, the benefits of natural birthing and the role of the father during all stages. There is a particular emphasis on the latter and although while it increases the pressure on you, you’re removing a substantial amount off your partner.

I honestly feel privileged to have graduated from the course, and can proudly say, as a result, I became a better husband and definitely a better father to my child during the pregnancy. We often forget the responsibility begins the day the test returns 51

positive. I am personally guilty of assuming responsibility starts the day the baby comes home and the course is designed to prepare and assist by educating you on an essential life skill.

In our classes, we covered a substantial amount of information, and stories. Some more difficult to hear than others, some traumatic, and some beautiful. It makes you aware of the dangers and prepares you with knowledge on how to deal with situations and what to expect. It covers in depth the advantages of natural birthing, the stages of birth and how to support your partner though it all. It ultimately empowers both the mother and father to shift the reliability from the medical team to first God and then yourselves. You learn the detrimental effects and implications caused by some of the most commonly administered drugs (epidural) in the birthing world today. In contrast, you also learn the importance of hormones such as oxytocin, which is imperative for the well-being and comfort for your wife/partner throughout all stages. One of the things that has stuck with me to this day, and I still share on occasion, is how Aisha came across Surah Maryam in the Quran, after studying and teaching natural birthing for years, it completely solidified her research and experiences. In one of the verses it says: “And the throes (of child birth) compelled her to betake herself to the trunk of a palm tree…” [Quran 19:23] She empowered us to trust the creation of Allah, trust the body to do what it was designed to do—giving birth naturally. We also went into the history of the medicalization of birth. How the introduction of an obstetrician was initially to observe in the early 20th century, but today are granted total control of the birth. The pharmaceutical industry, its heavy implementation of unnatural procedures, costs, short- and long-term effects of medicine and the protocols in place today. The statistical increase of C-sections and subsequently post-partum depressions. I was in awe of how detailed and thorough the 52

classes were, and the preparation it gave us for one of the most special moments of our lives.

We didn’t know it yet, but we were preparing for one of the most beautiful and spiritual memories of our lives. Yup, the birth of our daughter, Faatimah Aarooj Patel. I did say I will get back to the birth so here goes.

We had carefully written, through the guidance of the classes, our natural birthing plan, and I had memorized it in advance. We had been prepped on medical protocols and how to counter any procedures the medical staff tried to implement that went against our plan of birthing naturally.

I remember the weeks leading up to the birth. We had both packed our little suitcases. Mine was filled with candles, dates, a JBL speaker, a French lavender massage oil and some essentials as though I was preparing for a late-night romantic picnic. My packing decisions were influenced by one thing only: Oxytocin!

The love hormone which is responsible for the dilation of the cervix for birth, but also to provide a sense of comfort during childbirth.

It was the 20th of March 2016, the day of the delivery had arrived at the Suleiman Al Habib ArRayyan Hospital in Riyadh.

The lights were dimmed, candles burning, the aroma of French lavender filled the room, and dates were being fed to my wife, while I was being yelled at and my fingers crushed. The soothing Surah Maryam was being beautifully recited through the speakers on repeat, while I massaged my wife, as she managed the pain to move through the stages of childbirth.

Alhumdulillah, as it turned out, I was the only person along, with Aisha, in the room supporting my wife, and there wasn’t a single person in the world we’d have substituted for myself and Aisha in that room. To my wife, I was the closest, most qualified supportive being there could have been, and add to that the 53

knowledge I had acquired through months of classes made me the most confident. To top it off, we were lucky enough to have Aisha, easily the best doula, educator, and supporter any couple could have asked for. We were a team willed and ready for the most difficult but beautiful part of our lives and there wasn’t a single soul on Earth we’d have wanted beside us instead. It was an emotional and spiritual journey as we witnessed Kaval bear what seemed to be enormous agony to deliver our first child. To her colossal credit and spirit, she delivered naturally without the use of a single drug or painkiller, firstly through the will of Allah and secondly due to the education, support and empowerment through the classes of natural birthing and Aisha.

Our daughter, Faatimah Aarooj, had been born. As I held my daughter for the first time, noise seemed to fade out as I froze in a moment of bliss. But the responsibility of being my wife’s and child’s guardian against certain medical protocols and procedures did not end there. I noticed Aisha staring at me, indicating me to act and focus on what is happening. I saw the medical staff were preparing to cut the umbilical cord. There are a number of protocols in place the medical staff implement as soon as the baby is born. To name a few, the cutting of the umbilical cord immediately, which upon Aisha’s glaring look, I demanded against, as essential nutrients are still being delivered to the baby, and the administration of eye drops for the baby. In the classes we covered that the reason eye drops are given to the baby immediately after being born is because in the States, it is common for a woman to have had more than one sexual partner and as a result, potentially the baby could have encountered sexually transmitted infections through vaginal passage. We also learned and implemented the importance of skin to skin and immediate breastfeeding of the baby. These were just a few of the actions we took to prevent the implementation of medical protocols.

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Alhumdulillah, I can confidently say that it is firstly through the will of Allah, and secondly because of Aisha and the classes, we were able to achieve our goal of birthing naturally. She had achieved a complete change of my mentality to pregnancy and birthing. A complete contrast to how I imagined the birth of my child 6 months prior.

I am honored and proud to be an AMANI dad, and can boldly say I am a better father and husband directly as a result of meeting one of the most charismatic and inspiring women in the world today, a leading educator of natural childbirth all over the globe, and am deeply privileged to have shared one of the most beautiful moments of our lives with her. None other than Aisha Al Hajjar.

I now share this story and testimony with you all. I hope this assists all fathers around the world, who are either preparing or planning for a baby, to strongly consider the AMANI Birth classes to provide the best support to your partner in the greatest way possible.

Mohammed Patel

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ISLAMIC VOCABULARY Alayhas-Salam/ Alayhis-Salam: Peace upon her/him Alhamdulillah: Thanks to Allah (SWT) Allah: God Allahu Akbar: Allah (SWT) is the Most Great Allahu A'lam: Allah knows AMANI: Wishes AMANI lil Banaat: Wishes for Girls AMANI lil Welada Tabiaya: Wishes for Natural Birth Ameen: Amen Astaghfirullah: May Allah (SWT) forgive me!

Athan/Adhan: Call for prayer A'uthubillah: I seek protection Ayat/Ayah: The verses of the Quran, but it can also mean proofs, evidences, lessons, signs, revelations, miracles, etc.

Bedouin: An Arab of any of the nomadic tribes of the Arabian, Syrian, Nubian, or Sahara Deserts Bidnillah: With Allah’s (SWT) will (said when a Muslim declares something will happen in the future) Bismillah: In the name of Allah (SWT) Bukhari (also known as Sahih Bukhari), Muslim (also known as Sahih Muslim), Musnad Ahmad At-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah Ahmad, Nasai: Books of authentic Prophetic narrations Dua: Informal prayer made at anytime Fardh: Obligatory 56

Fatwa: A religious verdict Fiqh: Islamic jurisprudence Ghusl: Ritual bath for complete cleansing before making prayer Hadith/Hadeeth: Narrations of the Prophet Halal: Permitted in Islam Hanafi, Maliki, Shafi’, and Hanbali: Schools of thoughts of Islamic law (Sunni sect) Haram: Forbidden in Islam Hasanat/Hasanah: Rewards Insha’Allah: With Allah’s (SWT) will (said when a Muslim declares they will do something in the future) Iqamah: Second call to start the prayer Islam: True way of worshiping God, literally means peace, purity, submission, and obedience Istikharah: A prayer to ask for Allah’s (SWT) guidance Jinn: supernatural spirits mentioned in Qur’an who inhabit an unseen world in dimensions beyond what’s visible to humans.

They are made of asmokeless and "scorching fire," and have the physical property of weight. Jinn can be good, evil, or neutral.

Jumu'ah: Friday, but may also refer to the Friday prayer.

Ka’bah: The Holy Sanctuary in Makkah Magian: Of the Zoroastrian priestly caste of Medes and Persians Masjid: Mosque Masha’Allah: With Allah’s (SWT) grace Makkah: The holy city, located in present day Saudi Arabia Mufti: An Islamic scholar who interprets Islamic law 57

Mustahabb: Highly recommended Qur’an: Holy book of Allah’s (SWT) revelations to the Prophet (SAWS) Radiallahu Anhu/Anha: May Allah (SWT) be pleased with him/her Salat: The ritual five daily prayers made by Muslims Sallallaahu 'alayhi wa Sallam (SAWS): May Allah’s (SWT) Peace Be Upon Him, also abbreviated as (PBUH), used anytime the Prophet Mohammed’s (SAWS) name is mentioned Subhan’Allah: Glory to God Sunnah: The life or ways of the Prophet Mohammed (SAWS) SWT (Subhanaho wa Ta’ala): His Glory and Highness, used when Allah’s (SWT) name is mentioned Tuhfat al-Mawdud bi Ahkam al-Mawlud: Name of Islamic book Ummah: Community, often referring to the Muslim community Wudu: Ritual cleansing with water performed before making salat (daily prayers), or the state of being clean and ready for prayer after having made the ritual cleansing "Allahumma aslamtu nafsi ilaika, wa wajjahtu wajhi ilaika, wa fauwadtu Amri ilaika, wa alja'tu zahri ilaika, raghbatan warahbatan ilaika. La Malja'a wa la manja minka illa ilaika.

Amantu bikitabika al-ladhi anzalta wa nabiyyika al-ladhi arsalta!”

A Prayer that means: O Allah! I surrender to You and entrust all my affairs to You and depend upon You for Your Blessings both with hope and fear of You. There is no fleeing from You, and there is no place of protection and safety except with You O Allah! I believe in Your Book (Qur'an), which You have revealed and in Your Prophet (Muhammad), whom You have sent.

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References Al Hajjar, A. (2020). AMANI Birth. Wilmington, DE: AMANI Inc. Al Hajjar, A. (2014). Evidence-based use of episiotomy: Implication for practice in Eastern Arab countries. (Unpublished literature review).

Midwives College of Utah, Salt Lake City, UT. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (ACOG, 2010).

Vaginal birth after previous cesarean delivery: Practice bulletin no.

115.

American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (ACOG, 2016a).

Refusal of medically recommended treatment during pregnancy: Committee opinion no. 664. Obstetrics & Gynecology, 127, e175– 82.

American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (ACOG, 2016b). Safe prevention of the primary cesarean delivery: Obstetric care consensus no. 1. Obstetrics & Gynecology 2014:123,693–711 American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (ACOG, 2017).

Approaches to limit intervention during labor and birth: Committee opinion no. 687.

Bradley, R. (2008). Husband-coached childbirth. New York, NY: Bantam Books.

CDC. (2013). Protect babies from life-threatening bleeding: Talk to expectant parents about the benefits of the vitamin K shot for newborns. From www.cdc.gov Colson, S. (2010). What happens to breastfeeding when mothers lie back?

Clinical applications of Biological Nurturing. United States Lactation Consultant Association (1), 9-12.

International MotherBaby Childbirth Organization (2008). The International MotherBaby Childbirth Initiative (IMBCI): 10 steps to optimal MotherBaby* maternity services. Retrieved from http://imbco.weebly.com/uploads/8/0/2/6/8026178/imbci_english _final_04-05-08.pdf

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US Food & Drug Administration. (2014). Avoid fetal "keepsake" images, heartbeat monitors. Retrieved from https://www.fda.gov/forconsumers/consumerupdates/ucm095508 .htm World Health Organization. (WHO, 1996). Care in normal birth: A practical guide. Retrieved from http://whqlibdoc.who.int/hq/1996/WHO_FRH_MSM_96.24.pdf World Health Organization. (WHO, 2014). The prevention and elimination of disrespect and abuse during facility-based childbirth.

World Health Organization. (WHO, 2014). Optimal timing of cord clamping for the prevention of iron deficiency anaemia in infants. Retrieved from http://www.who.int/elena/titles/full_recommendations/cord_cla mping/en/ Websites to Check Out Pregnancy Diet: The Brewer Diet http://drbrewerpregnancydiet.com Blue Ribbon Baby http://www.therealblueribbonbaby.org Nutrition Facts (Look Up Grams of Protein): My Fitness Pal https://www.myfitnesspal.com Traditional Food & Nutrition Advice: Weston Price http://www.westonaprice.org/ Exercises for Optimal Fetal Positioning: Spinning Babies https://spinningbabies.com Exercises for Pelvic Floor Weakness: The Whole Woman https://wholewoman.com US Dept. of Defense, Education & Welfare Emergency Childbirth: http://www.fas.org/irp/doddir/milmed/childbirth.pdf Vag. Exam & Membrane Sweep: https://www.groupbstrepinternational.org/gbs-medical-articlesand-abstracts.html#invasive VBAC Support & Information: http://ican-online.org/ Biological Nurturing for Laid-Back Breastfeeding: https://www.biologicalnurturing.com/index.html

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