THE ALEXANDER HOUSE GOD. LIFE. Love. MARRIAGE. SPRING 2020
“Love to be real, it must cost—it must hurt—it must empty us of self.” -St. Theresa of Calcutta WWW.THEALEXANDERHOUSE.ORG
You Are Helping Save Marriages!
We are grateful to God for you and your tremendous generosity and your care for strengthening the foundation - MARRIAGE. Over the past 20 years the cyclical pattern of the highs and lows of married life have become predictable. Due to the recent restrictions we knew that stress was going to surface and couples would experience troubles. The request for our Marriage Discipling increased significantly in December and it has not stopped. Couples are in need of the tools that we can equip them with to navigate these uncertain and stressful times. At times of great tragedy the grace of God is so powerful. The transformation of marriages is happening with each and every couple we meet with. We believe God prepared us to not miss a beat because we conduct all of our services via video conferencing. The anxiety of people losing their jobs, not being able to provide for their necessities, having to be stuck at home and be the teacher, the cook and the counselor all at once has added complications for many marriages. Praise and honor to God for allowing us to serve these couples needs and to put them in a state of peace. Because of your generosity it is our policy to not charge any couples for our services. This has been a tremendous blessing for which we could never repay you. Please be assured of our prayers for you and your families. We have named our Domestic Church after the Patronage of The Holy Family and you are included in our offering daily. The sacrifice that you make in supporting the Apostolate is such a gift and we hope that you know how much we appreciate all that you do with us to build and strengthen marriage and families. The government has recognized the impact that this current crisis has had on many to include non-profits and included special benefits inTHE ABOVE THE LINE TAX DEDUCTION for up to $300 given to a 501 (c)(3) organization. If you itemize deductions, the write-off for charitable deductions has been increased to 100% and that means that any money donated at this time will essentially be given back to you at tax time. May God bless you and may you be safe and keep your family close. Truly grateful,
Julie Alexander
Marriage Disciples
Robin Zamora "We live in a society that teaches us to give up and let go when marriage gets too difficult or when the feelings fade; that maybe two people weren't meant to be married because they are no longer getting along, and that it's all about "ME and what I'm getting out of the marriage?". This way of thinking could never build a solid foundation for a lifelong commitment and this is why so many couples, at some point in their marriage, see divorce as their only option. Through Marriage Disciples, we not only show couples that their marriage can be joy-filled, beautiful and full of love for a lifetime, but we teach them practical ways to make it happen."
- Robin Zamora
The Alexander House wants to take this time to thank Robin for her dedication and commitment to couples receiving hope and healing through the Marriage Disciples outreach. Robin and her husband, George, have served as Marriage Disciples for the past ten years. Robin has also managed the Marriage Disciple’s process for the last five years. She understands, all too well, the battle on the front lines with troubled marriage, as she is the first contact for the 911 calls that come into The Alexander House. Robin has been there to be the first sign of assurance that God is committed to the marriages of those who are in need of help. She has spent hundreds of hours listening to the hurt and pain of the wounds of those who call and is always there to give of herself completely as a means of offering hope. The Alexander House also wishes to thank its donors for making it possible to officially hire Robin as the Director of the Marriage Disciples’ outreach, and to actually pay her for what she has been volunteering to do for years. Robin will also work with the Alexander’s to create the Marriage Disciple’s training program. This program will offer online training for those approved to serve as Marriage Disciples. The Alexander House goes to God often in thanksgiving for you and are eternally grateful for God blessing us with such a generous group of people that see the importance of keeping the foundation of our society strong! - Greg Alexander
TAHA BENEFIT DINNER 2020 The Alexander House Family Ministry Highlights-
Impact of Divorce on Children By Amy Morgan
The best ministries are not created from programs or packages, but are birthed out of the passion of those who feel called to their share time, talent or treasure. Some want to make the world a better place or right societal wrongs. Others desire to walk alongside others, sharing wisdom they’ve learned in life’s school of hard knocks. God opens people’s eyes to a need, illuminates their unique capacity to serve and provides the ability and strength to organize and persevere. These motivations coalesce in myriad points of light that empower and alleviate suffering, often one family or person at a time. Such is the case of the Alexander House – a non-profit ministry strengthening marriages in San Antonio for the past 20 years. Julie and Greg Alexander founded the organization after their marriage on the brink of divorce was miraculously restored. Not only did the family remain intact as they raised their children, the entire trajectory of their lives changed. After experiencing such transformation in their most fundamental relationship, Julie and Greg left their former occupations to invest their lives full-time into creating the Alexander House, which provides all client services at no cost. The Alexanders mentor and train marriage champions who help others deepen and enrich their marriages. Most recently, they have devoted most of their energies to discipling couples in crisis. Technology like video conferencing and Skype allows their impact to extend worldwide. They have helped thousands preserve their marriage covenants, build stronger families and lower the divorce rate. The need is growing. In December 2019 alone, 127 couples completed intake forms to register for personal intervention, a threefold increase from previous years. “We are all broken, all sinners,” Julie said. “It is difficult to find peace and joy in marriage when we try to sugarcoat the reality of emotional wounds.”
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TAHA BENEFIT DINNER 2020
CONT.
Twenty years ago, the Alexander’s were ready to file for divorce. As they sought dissolution and annulment counseling for their Catholic marriage with the Tribunal Vicar, they realized they didn’t even have a basic understanding of God’s design for marriage, much less how to live it out. Through the vicar’s guidance they realized they needed to learn how to forgive, how to serve and to be each other’s helpmate. Now the Alexanders are available to walk with other hurting couples in their marriages and show them the tools they applied to live out their marriage successfully. “Number one, we help people understand forgiveness in marriage,” she said. “We hurt each other even when we don’t intend to.” They also model good communication and address proper sexuality, noting the culture and environment of promiscuity and infidelity negatively affect marriage. “Marriage is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do,” Julie said, “but we promised God that we’d care for the other person at the altar. We’ll be held accountable to that when we see Him face to face.” The Alexander House recently hosted a fundraiser highlighting effects of divorce on children. It has become apparent to the Alexanders that decades of marriage breakdown and the advent of no-fault divorce in the 1970s continue to reap a harvest of brokenness and dysfunction. A takeaway from the evening: “Sometimes a grownup says they are following their dream, but they are leaving everyone else with a nightmare.” Julie relayed that recently, a 13-year-old girl approached her in the grocery store and said, “Mrs. Alexander, Thank you. Now my siblings and I can go to bed at night and know our parents are going to be ok. They put God in the middle of their marriage. You saved us from having to go back and forth every weekend.” Julie counts that encounter as making any sacrifice or work worthwhile.
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TAHA BENEFIT DINNER 2020
CONT.
“We think marriage preparation is a weekend, but it begins at home,” she said, noting people have difficulty living out a marriage when they’ve never had an example of one. “We have not been attractive in our vocation of marriage. Our kids are watching, and our world is watching. They look at sports stars and pop culture, and they don’t want any part of marriage,” Julie said. “Wouldn’t if be wonderful if a daughter would want to marry a husband based on the relationship between her dad and her mom?” An aside, that is precisely the example Julie and Greg have modeled. Their daughter, Lauren Rihn, is married, expecting her fourth child, and works with her parents at The Alexander House. The February meeting featured religion and culture writer Leila Miller, author of Primal Loss – The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak. Leila highlighted the untold story of the pain and loss children of divorce carry lifelong after the dissolution of their families.
Excerpts from a letter written by a child of divorce: “Dear Mom and Dad – my heart is broken every time I have to give up a parent. Please don’t assume my life will be exactly like it was, and I will continue to feel the same amount of love for each of you. You are sending me the message winning is most important. You are taking away my belief hat love is unconditional and replacing is with the message that message love is hard. There’s a scar on my heart that reads, ‘good things happen to good people. I must be bad.’” Leila encouraged those in the audience to pledge to champion marriage rather than divorce. “Just one voice can save a marriage. Now that we’ve identified the bleeding elephant in the room, go forth with courage. Tell the truth, work to protect marriage in your sphere of influence.
Save families, children, souls from darkness and destruction. FOR THE GOOD OF MARRIAGE AND THE WORLD!"
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BECOME INSPIRED TO PARTNER "As the family goes, so goes the nation & so goes our world in which we live!
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- Pope John Paul II
We have a throw-away mentality; if something is too difficult to deal with, or is not working the way we want it to, just throw it away and try something new.” Therefore, our society views marriage as a disposable commodity instead of the indispensable foundation God created it to be! The Alexander House Apostolate provides tools and support helping couples grow closer to Jesus through Mary, and the fruit of these encounters is couples experiencing healing, growing closer together and being perfected through Him! Greg and Julie were called by God to devote the rest of their lives wholly to this ministry, and God is calling the rest of us to support them financially and prayerfully. Our future depends on the continued desire for couples to marry and remain married until death do them part. As married couples, we all need love and support, not just at the altar when we say I do, but all the times after when we do not ‘feel’ like saying “yes” to our spouse and above all saying “yes’ to our God in loving and sacrificing for our beloved. The heart was designed and wired by God himself. He placed in our hearts a desire to love, honor and serve Him above all other things, and to love our spouse as our self. The many temptations in our world today draw us away from serving God and entice us to serve ourselves. - JMJ
Spread the word and go to: www.thealexanderhouse.org to DONATE!
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“It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.� -St. Theresa of Calcutta
THE ALEXANDER HOUSE PO Box 592107 San Antonio, Texas 78259 210-858-6195 | info@thealexanderhouse.org