A-Desiflava Jan-Feb 2018 Issue

Entertain

Enlighten

Engage TM

HONG KONG’S FIRST LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE FOR SOUTH ASIANS Volume 7 | Issue 1

Top DJs in Hong Kong

Cross Culture Couples

Know the people behind the DJ carousels

When a heart finds love, it sees no boundaries.

The stupid Cupid of Valentine's Day Find out all about the calendar's most romantic day.

Win a pair of Adesiflava Membership Card Adidas Shoes Loaded with Great

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ÂŽ

2015

Professional Corporate Advisory Services Company Formation in Hong Kong, India, China, Mauritius & Singapore Special Purpose Co. Formation (RBI Permission, SPV, JV-SPV, 100% Subsidiary of India) Accounting, Audit Arrangements & Taxation Services Assisting in Banking Facilities and Credit Limits Secretarial and Registered Address Services Hong Kong Immigration Services (Employment, Investment & Dependent, HKSAR passport, Travel Pass) Migration Services for the Caribbean, Europe, North America & Oceania Handling of Commercial Papers e.g. Banking and Shipping Documents (I/E Declaration) Trademark Registration in Hong Kong Please contact the following offices: Company Formation and Corporate Services: 1/F - Tel: (852) 2312 0148 | Fax: (852) 2375 6513 Audit Arrangement and Tax Consultancy: 6/F - Tel: (852) 2740 9091 | Fax: (852) 2264 8622 Immigration & Banking Documentation: 10/F - Tel: (852) 3591 9911 | Fax: (852) 3591 9912

LABOUR DEPARTMENT LABOUR DEPARTMENT ETHNIC MINORITY AMBASSADOR PROGRAMME RECRUITMENT DAY ON 16 JANUARY 2018 The Labour Department (LD) is now recruiting Ethnic Minority Ambassadors.

Selected candidates will be provided free training on job-search, interpersonal and customer service skills, followed by a 6 months’ on-the-job-training with pay in LD’s Job Centres/ Industry-based Recruitment Centres or at the office of Work Incentive Transport Subsidy (WITS) Division.

Details of the recruitment day are as follows: Date:

16 January 2018 (Tuesday)

Time:

9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. (Limited interview quotas available. Please make reservation by phone on or before 15 January 2018)

Salary:

Kowloon West Job Centre of LD 9/F, Cheung Sha Wan Government Offices, 303 Cheung Sha Wan Road, Kowloon.

(Exit C1, MTR Sham Shui Po Station) (i) Employment Services Ambassadors for Ethnic Minorities Main Job Duties: Work in Job Centres/ Industry-based Recruitment Centres and job fairs to provide and promote employment services for job seekers of ethnic minorities (ii) WITS Ambassadors for Ethnic Minorities Main Job Duties: Help ethnic minorities in submitting WITS applications, handle related telephone and counter enquiries at the office of WITS Division, promote the Scheme and answer enquiries at job fairs, exhibitions and other activities $9,500 per month

Working Hours:

(i) Mon - Fri : 9:00 a.m. - 5:36 p.m. • Sat (on duty once every 3 weeks) : 9:00 a.m. - 12:00 noon (ii) Mon - Fri : 9:00 a.m. - 5:48 p.m. / 9:27 a.m. - 6:15 p.m.

Eligibility:

Applicants should register as trainees of Youth Employment and Training Programme (YETP) of LD (school leavers aged 15 to 24 with educational attainment at sub-degree level or below); have completed F.4; be lawfully employable in Hong Kong; able to communicate in either English or Chinese; and proficient in one of the following languages: Hindi, Indonesian, Nepali, Tagalog, Thai, Urdu, or Punjabi

Venue:

Posts for Application:

Enquiry & Tel.: 2383 4932 Reservation:

Please refer to the YETP’s website (http://www.yes.labour.gov.hk/ypyt/en/em.htm) for more information.

EMPLOYMENT SERVICES FOR ETHNIC MINORITY JOB SEEKERS LD provides comprehensive and free employment services to help job seekers.

Our services are conducted in both Chinese and English. If you speak neither of these languages, we can arrange interpretation service for you.

Dedicated employment services for ethnic minority job seekers such as special counter and resource corner, personalised employment advisory service, employment briefings and inclusive job fairs are available.

For details, please visit the dedicated webpage for ethnic minority job seekers on LD’s Interactive Employment Service website (http://www.jobs.gov.hk/EM) or contact any one of our Job Centres through the telephone numbers as listed below:

Hong Kong East Job Centre Hong Kong West Job Centre North Point Job Centre Kowloon East Job Centre Kowloon West Job Centre Kwun Tong Job Centre Shatin Job Centre Tai Po Job Centre

2591 1318 2552 0131 2114 6868 2338 9787 2150 6397 2342 0486 2158 5553 2654 1429

Sheung Shui Job Centre Tsuen Wan Job Centre Tuen Mun Job Centre Tung Chung Job Centre Employment in One-stop (located in Tin Shui Wai) Recruitment Centre for the Catering Industry Recruitment Centre for the Retail Industry Construction Industry Recruitment Centre

3692 4532 2417 6197 2463 9967 3428 2943 3692 5750 2594 7800 2594 7833 3428 3303

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EDITORS NOTE

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

Namaste Desis,

EDITORIAL: Gaurav Pardeshi (Chief Editor) Suraj (Sam) Samtani (Managing Editor) PUBLISHER: Neha Gaurav Pathak DESIGN CONSULTANT: Sivasakthibalan CONTRIBUTORS: Jitendra Bhojwani Sonia Samtani Aunty Poonam Mehta Sailesh Chandaramani Jayaraman Sivakumar Munisha Khatwani Varsha Dodani Rani Asra Gidwani

FOR ADVERTISEMENTS PLEASE CONTACT: Tanya Singh T +852 64348876 Email: ts@adesiflava.com PRINTED BY: 01 PRINTING LIMITED Suite M, 3/F, Tower 3, 448 Kwun Tong Road, Kwun Tong Industrial Center, Kwun Tong, Kowloon, Hong Kong.

Tel: +852-2811 1183

Welcome to 2018! We have had a stupendous 2017, where we reached a new record readership and our page count has even been higher than ever before. We thank you all for your continous support throughout our 6 years, and look forward to serving you with enriching, entertaining, and enlightening content!

For this issue, we have focused primarily on Valentine's Day. We have three articles dedicated to the topic of love, as we openly acknowledge how important it is for everyone to feel loved, both by themselves and others.

Alongside that, Hong Kong is gearing for its greatest cricket bonanza, HKT20 Blitz, and the expectations are of a world-class event comparable, and featuring, to the best of the best.

To complete our magazine, we have new pieces from our regular contributors, Aunty Poonam, Sonia Samtani, Munisha Khatwani, and Varsha Dodani.

Do stay tuned to our latest magazine, and keep us informed on your thoughts, as we bring you the best of what is South Asian in Hong Kong.

Thank you.

COVER DESIGN: Studio3 Creations DISCLAIMER:

No part of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without permission.

The publisher, layout designer, contributors, their employees and partners are not responsible for the results of any actions, errors or omissions taken on the basis of information contained in this publication and expressly disclaim all and any liability for any such action of any person. The views expressed in A-Desiflava are not necessarily those of the publisher, editor, layout designer or contributors.

The publisher, layout designer and editor cannot be held responsible for differences of opinion or statements published in good faith. The mention of specific companies or products in articles or advertisements does not imply that they are endorsed or recommended by this magazine or its publisher in preference to others of a similar nature which are not mentioned or advertised.

Suraj (Sam) Samtani Suraj (Sam) Samtani (Managing Editor) A-Desiflava sam@adesiflava.com

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CROSS CULTURE MARRIAGES

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CONTENT

Volume 7 | Issue 1

9

10

COVER STORY

10

Cross Culture Marriages

IN THE MOOD

14

Valentines Day

BUZZ IN TOWN

18

HK T20 BLITZ

LOCAL

24

Know your DJ's

PHILANTHROPY

VALENTINES DAY

14

30

Aide et Action International

IN THE MOOD

34

HK’s Rough Shades of Romance

SPIRITUAL

38

Ruhaani Article

PROFILE

40

Rani Asra

ASTROLOGY

HK T20 BLITZ

18

AIDE ET ACTION INTERNATIONAL

30

KNOW YOUR DJ'S

24

43

Munisha

AUNTY MVP

44

Love & Relationships Q&A

CONTESTS Kids

45

HK’S ROUGH SHADES OF ROMANCE

34

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COVER STORY

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CULTURED COUPLES BRAVE THROUGH DIFFERENCES With Hong Kong being Asia’s World City, A-Desiflava explored how the increasing number of resident interculture couples tackled through their differences to become flag bearers of multicultural relationships.

W

ith the advent of social media, meeting new people across boundaries, countries, and cultures is now easier than ever.

As people from different cultures connect, relationships too have become increasingly multicultural. This rising

trend prompts one to question what difference, if any, does a difference in cultures have on the compatibility, longevity and overall success of a relationship. ADesiflava met up with representatives from five couples - most of who chose to remain anonymous - to find more.

Volume 7 | Issue 1

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

COVER STORY

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COVER STORY

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

especially elders. As the two of us got closer, we realised that Chinese live with more freedom, and can do anything as long as they do it with right intention and dedication; Indians, though, tend to worry more about the social implications of every act, fearing judgement at every step.

Mr.Sailesh Chandiramani & Ms.Dolly Francisco with son Aryan

This photo is for reference only and not of the real couple

1. Indian & Japanese: We met when we were colleagues at the same company. I was immediately attracted to her, and I was sold on the spot; not only was my love blind, but even as a lover, I was blind to all the potential pitfalls. It required an extra effort to break the ice and find a familiar ground.

Needless to say, over movies, music, and meals of each other’s culture, we bridged the gap between us. We eventually found the commonalities in the cultures, both of which boast of a long history of tradition, roles, and responsibilities.

Perhaps such a teething period would not exist in relationships between people of the same culture, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. Afterall, as the adage goes, “the greatest journey is the distance between two people,” and after a decade of being together, we still enjoy discovering something new about each other every day.

2. Indian & Chinese: Mr Jayaraman Sivakumar and Ms Li Yunyun We got to know each other over the internet initially and since we lived close by happened to meet soon enough. Over time, we realised that we both believe in being forthright, simple, and positive, sans a flashy lifestyle. Culturally, both of us pay a lot of respect to our families,

Mr.Jayaraman Sivakumar and Ms.Li Yunyun This was most noticeable when we were ready to get married, when all our Indian friends and relatives expectedly were taken aback. When rearing our child, we endorse universal values such as respect, honesty, dedication and commitment. As mother plays the most important role in a child’s life, we have prioritised using the child’s mother language – Cantonese – over others, and have even officially given our child a Chinese name. Looking back, our relationship survived the test of time because of the respect we had towards each other’s feelings, opinions, and values; mutual compromise, understanding, cooperation and a calm composure have all been keys to our longevity together.

3. Indian and Filipino: Mr and Mrs Sailesh Chandiramani With Indians being known for their excessive conservative rules, regulations, and traditions, it was not easy for us to see to eye. In comparison, Filipinos are open minded, accepting, and more liberal and even carefree. Naturally, the imminent

social stigma was a cause for concern, particularly family and relatives. The way through it for us was to simply see each other as fellow humans first and foremost, beyond the veils of identity that society imposes. Beyond our race, we were simply two people heartfully in love one another, and our commitment was kept us together through the uncertainties and troughs.

This photo is for reference only and not of the real couple

4. Indian and Sri Lankan: Although we are both South Asians, our differences are still significant.

Most importantly, one of us goes to the Church every Sunday for Mass, while the other is a pure vegetarian, and visits the temple each Monday. In this case, having friends from each other’s culture really helped us to clarify our uncertainties

adesiflava.com

Volume 7 | Issue 1

- especially in the beginning, when we were too afraid to ask each other. Living in the same neighborhood allowed us to ‘coincidentally’ meet each other regularly, and gradually introduce each other to our hobbies, habits, and values. Over countless conversations, and compassionate compromises, our relationship has stood the time of over 25 years, and we still love each other just much every day.

13

an American, I insisted to test the waters first through a live-in relationship, sans any commitment. Ironically, it was I who proposed marriage first, and I couldn’t be happier now. At the end of the day, this practice has not only improved our relationship, but also made us better humans as individuals.

5. Indian and American: Although we were both curious to know about each other’s cultures, the perspective changed as we became more attached and involved in each other’s lives. From mere tourists marveling at each other’s cultural differences at a distance, we soon realised the gravity of the situation as we respected each other’s culture as our own. While we never placed any requirement over each other, nor our

COVER STORY

This photo is for reference only and not of the real couple

kids, to learn a language, or follow any traditions, we could not just be ignorant or play dumb about each other’s beliefs.

Being in a multicultural relationship really necessitates each partner to shed away all their preconceived notions, stereotypes and judgemental attitude. As

From all these stories, it is evident that true love can transcend beyond the costumes of culture, religion and tradition. What is most important is the sustained mutual commitment, intimacy, compatibility, and passion to support each other through the troughs to triumphs. While, of course, a longer period may be required to acknowledge, accept - and in some cases even adopt each other’s culture, love truly trumps all.

Pretty soon, such a concept wouldn’t be seen as novel.

Suraj (Sam) Samtani is an international Writer & Editor, with articles published across medias. He is also an Academic Coach, Native English Teacher & Tutor (NET), Management & Marketing Consultant, and Award-Winning Poet.

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IN THE MOOD

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

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IN THE MOOD

SOME UNKNOWN FACTS ABOUT VALENTINE’S DAY The Valentine’s day is celebrated with great pomp and show across the world.

It is the day to celebrate the feeling of true love towards the people you admire most in your life-your parents, friends, colleagues or spouse.

H

owever, the day is especially popular with young lovers and newlywed couples who celebrate the day with high fervor. Its admirers range from the true lovers to flirts and even middle-aged couples. The festival is also famous for commercial industry, especially lifestyle industry that registers a heart-warming sale as people splurge on jewelry, apparels, personal care products and other lifestyle products/services for their loved ones. The day also keeps the cash registers of discotheques, bars, and eateries ringing. But did you know about some of the lesser-known facts about Valentine day and its history? It would be amusing to know the origins, evolution and interesting tidbits about Valentine’s Day:

Who was St. Valentine?

It is a well-known fact that Valentine’s Day is named after St. Valentine but who was St. Valentine and why do we celebrate a day in his name? One of the earliest accounts of St. Valentine recognizes him as a person who breathed his last in 270AD. However, even within 2 centuries, this simple life account was shrouded in mystery when Pope Gelasius I said that the personality of the saint and his deeds were confined only to the God. Another account says that Valentine was Bishop of Terni but was killed in the same manner by Claudius II. Till date St. Valentine is formally recognized as a saint but the mystery of his true historical personality has compelled the Catholic Church to withdraw his liturgical veneration.

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IN THE MOOD

Most Popular legend related to s. Valentine Though there are many different opinions regarding the identity and life of St. Valentines, one particular legend is widely accepted across global communities as well as many historians: Fast forward to the 15th century and another fact was “discovered” recognizing him as a pious priest in ancient Rome who used to perform marriages of Christian couples during the era of Roman emperor Claudius II. The ambitious emperor wanted to expand his kingdom by launching a successive series of military campaigns. It required heavy military recruitment that proved to be an uphill task as the young, able men were not inclined to be a part of his army. According to the emperor, the marital ties and responsibilities were the major reasons preventing them to join the military. So the emperor announced an absolute ban on engagements and marriages in the Rome! Almost all of his subjects were bound to obey the dictator’s commands barring a few brave souls.

Notable among them was St. Valentine who kept on performing marriages as before as he considered marriage a sacred institution. This kind act didn’t remain undiscovered for long. So, the merciless Claudius ordered his soldiers to beat the pious saint mercilessly till he died. The saint was then beheaded. The cruel act took place in 270 AD

How many St. Valentines are there?

The word Valentine has its roots in Latin word Valentinus that literally means strong, worthy or capable. As Catholic saints enjoyed a very high position during early centuries, this moniker perfectly suited them. As a result, there

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are as many as 12 saints with the name of Valentine, including a pope whose total service duration could not exceed beyond 40 days and thus very little facts remain regarding his personality. Notably, the last beatified is St. Valentine BerrioOchoa who was also beheaded in 1861.

He is not all about romance Though widely recognized as the patron saint for the loving souls the list of St. Valentine’s admirers is vast and spans across multiple communities. He is also regarded as a patron saint by beekeepers, people afflicted with epilepsy and fainting, regions or communities under clutches of plague and traveling community.

The biological remains In the dawn of 1800, an excavation near Rome revealed a skull and several remains that were believed to be belonging to St. Valentine. Till date, one can see the skull decorated with flowers in Cosmedlin of Rome where it now rests in Basilica of Santa Maria. Other remains can be found in Ireland, France, Scotland, England and Ireland.

The poet who gave birth to modern tradition of Valentine Day The tradition of celebrating 14th February as a romantic day does not found any mention till the 1200s. However, towards the twilight years of the 1300s, a famous poet Chaucer wrote a poem “Parliament of Foules” where he tried to establish a relation between courtly love and feast day of St. Valentine. Due to his use of convincing language and minute depiction, the poetry was applauded in many countries. So, it can be deduced that this poetry gave Romantic color to the St. Valentine’s feast day. Even the date (14th Feb.) of this Romantic celebration

Volume 7 | Issue 1

was suggested by the poet in this poem.

According to the poet, the human beings and birds search for their partner on this date. When Chaucer wrote, “For this was sent on Seynt Valentine's day / Whan every foul cometh there to choose his mate,” it added a strong legendary character to St. Valentine’s Day associating it with love and romance.

Is single Valentine day enough?

There are lovers and then there are hopeless romantic lovebirds whose romantic aspiration may not be satisfied by just a single Valentine day. There’s good news for such couples. A littleknown fact is that there are multiple valentine’s days in the entire year. Apart from widely recognized date of 14th February, the other Valentine’s Day dates include: 3rd November: Associated with St. Valentine of Viterbo 7th January: Associated with St. Valentine of Raetia 25th July: Associated with female martyr Saint Valentina Article By Jitendra Singh Jitendra is a freelance creative writer, a peaceful soul who spends most of his time reading and writing. He considers and respects writing as a meditative technique to get rid of negative thoughts and stress. His favorite niches include history, travel, lifestyle and technology. An introvert and keen history buff, he likes visiting in abandoned forts and small, sleepy cities. He also loves traversing the labyrinths of old literature, listening to soul stirring classical instrumental music and making friends with animals.

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

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Answer the simple question and

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2 Winners will be selected from a draw of lots

1. Where will the HKT20 Blitz 2018 be played?

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2. List all the five international players of Galaxy Gladiators Lantau.

Send us your entries to adesiflava@gmail.com or ts@adesiflava.com

18

BUZZ IN TOWN

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

THIRD’S A CHARM FOR HONG KONG T20 BLITZ The local franchised cricket tournament boasts of international players, sponsors, and organisers. In just its third year, the Hong Kong T20 Blitz promises to reach the scale and scope of its international counterparts, Indian Premiere League (IPL) and Big Bash League (BBL).

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

BUZZ IN TOWN

19

W

ith a lot of anticipation and excitement, the Hong Kong T20 Blitz is returning with its third season from February 6-11, 2018. The cricket tournament will take place at its staple stadium, Mission Road Cricket Ground, with the same five teams as the previous years: City Kaitak, Galaxy Gladiators Lantau, Hong Kong Island United, Hung Hom JD Jaguars, and Kowloon Cantons.

In the second season of the tournament, each of the five squads featured five international players, many of whom were global superstars. The list of players that played in the second season of the tournament included: Misbahul-Haq, Saeed Ajmal, Ian Bell, Kumar Sangakkara, Daren Sammy, Dwayne Smith, and Tillakaratne Dilshan. Of course, the foreign incumbents were also well supported by local talents such as Anshuman Rath, Nizakat Khan, and Nadeem Ahmed.

BUZZ IN TOWN

20

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The impressive lineup of stars allowed the tournament to garner had a worldwide reach of more than 50 million people, of which over six million were from India.

Also, more than eight million watched the tournament live online through platforms like Facebook and YouTube. Most of all, the tournament was covered by countless reputable medias across the globe.

After tasting success over the past two years, the tournament promises to be even bigger and better. The tournament is also likely to be broadcasted live on

television channels across the globe. The prize money, in-house capacity have also increased, as has the list of sponsors and supporters. Squads are now allowed to host upto six international players, and the tournament itself has also been extended by one day.

As part of the buildup for the tournament in February 2018, each of the teams, as well as the tournament organisers, have worked hard to garner an increased fan following. The players to feature in the tournament are also expected to be

Volume 7 | Issue 1

more prolific. The world’s top ranked One Day International bowler, Hasan Ali, has been signed up by Hong Kong Island United, while City Kaitak, Galaxy Gladiators Lantau, and Kowloon Cantons will be armoured with the services of Sohail Tanvir, Kumar Sangakkara, and Dwayne Smith respectively. Hung Hom JD Jaguars have announced Chris Lynn, Daren Sammy, and Roelof van der Merwe, all of whom carry a huge fan following.

Tickets are already on sale and can be bought on Ticketflap.

HONG KONG T20 BLITZ FIXTURES 2018 MATCH

DAY

DATE

TIME

TEAM 1

V

TEAM 2

1

Tuesday

6-Feb

1400

City Kaitak

V

Hung Hom JD Jaguars

2

Wednesday 7-Feb

1000

City Kaitak

V

HKI United

3

Wednesday 7-Feb

1400

Kowloon Cantons

V

Galaxy Gladiators Lantau

4

Thursday

8-Feb

1000

Hung Hom JD Jaguars

V

Kowloon Cantons

5

Thursday

8-Feb

1400

HKI United

V

Galaxy Gladiators Lantau

6

Friday

9-Feb

1000

Galaxy Gladiators Lantau

V

Hung Hom JD Jaguars

7

Friday

9-Feb

1400

Kowloon Cantons

V

City Kaitak

8

Saturday

10-Feb

1000

Galaxy Gladiators Lantau

V

City Kaitak

9

Saturday

10-Feb

1400

Hung Hom JD Jaguars

V

HKI United

10

Sunday

11-Feb

1000

HKI United

V

Kowloon Cantons

11

Sunday

11-Feb

1400

Final 1

V

Final 2

Might need to give credit to Epoch Times; as first published in Epoch Times: https://www.theepochtimes.com/thirds-a-charm-for-hong-kong-t20-blitz_2402888.html

Suraj (Sam) Samtani is an international Writer & Editor, with articles published across medias. He is also an Academic Coach, Native English Teacher & Tutor (NET), Management & Marketing Consultant, and Award-Winning Poet.

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LOCAL

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

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LOCAL

Volume 7 | Issue 1

DISCOVER YOUR DJS

You may have been fans of their music, but have you ever who are the players behind some of the great tunes at private and public events?

I

n recent times, Bollywood music has garnered exponentially greater recognition and appreciation in Hong Kong.

The greatest contributors of this are local Indian DJs, who entertain audiences with the best of Desi beats.

Interestingly, many of them also lead other careers, and maintain prolific professions as they continuously extend their music portfolios. A-Desiflava spoke to the top Indian DJs in Hong Kong to explore their views and to discover what has been instrumental for them as they continue to rhythmically jam out beats of success.

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LOCAL

DJ Raahil – Raahil Chhatpar

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mashups, and deep house. Chhatpar has been in the industry for over fifteen years, and as an incumbent of his field, he hopes to initiate his own DJ academy and be world famous for his production.

DJ Rahul – Rahul Idnani

Volume 7 | Issue 1

a company called “Elite Entertainment,” which manages events and artists. He will, of course, continue to pursue both roles as much as possible, as hopes to soon become a global phenomenon, where he is so famous that he doesn’t even need to introduce himself.

DJ Agni – Anamika Chhawal

852-62008827 Raahil Chhatpar’s first encounter with DJing happened at the Dubai clubs when he was just fourteen years old. Since then, he has played across the globe at weddings, private events, and even in public parties. His list of gigs includes prolific functions and award ceremonies.

Most recently, he played at the after party of the Dabangg show 2017, for the one and only, Salman Khan. Chhatpar has also composed several remixes of his own, and his standout track is ‘Enna Sona,’ (YouTube: eT0h7kqTha8) which was officially released on the record label AIDC. During the day, Chhatpar works as a headhunter in financial services, and this has meant that he has had to endure several sleepless nights to also become a musical maestro in Bollywood tracks,

852-61030413 Rahul Idnani journey into DJing began with mixing songs from cassette tapes.

The nature of mixing songs developed from a hobby into a profession, as Rahul’s interests in becoming a professional Bollywood DJ escalated further. He honed his skills by keeping DJs such as Aqeel, Akbar Sami and NYK as his idols.

Today, he is one of the city’s top Indian DJs, and is also looking to get involved in inspiring other young DJs to success, as he believes that “the world needs more DJs.” When he is not DJing, Rahul runs

852-68978230 “How is it possible for just one person to singlehandedly drive the vibe of a dancefloor?” wondered Anamika in the late 2000s. Today, she holds bragging rights to claim that she is the first south Asian female DJ in Hong Kong. Her claim to fame came in 2011, when she started an initiative known as ‘Flash Bollywood.’ Every Saturday after 1 am, Anamika took charge of the dance floor at various clubs and played her entire

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

repertoire: 90s, Bollywood, techno, and hip hop. She is presently also part of the Rezonance team, which organises private events and parties. Eventually, she wishes to progress from being a DJ to becoming a music producer, and create music that also incorporates Hong Kong essence. On weekdays, she currently fulfils her daytime as an investment consultant at Square Yards – Global Real Estate Investment Platform, which often gives her just as much satisfaction.

Having a full time profession is pivotal, she maintains, and she strongly preaches others to complete their educations over and above their passions.

DJ DEEP – Kunwar Deep Singh

DJ Deep is a musical maestro with many notes. As a DJ, he often specialises in house, hip hop, commercial, trap, EDM, Bollywood, and bhangra. From a young age, he sought inspiration from across the globe, right from the era of the 80s to the current age. Idolising icons has allowed Kunwar to self-learn how to sing, play the piano and drums, as well as compose and mix music. While he started his DJing career with Desified Bollywood party scene, he is also commonly known for his regular gigs at the annual Holi beach party. As he assumes the role of an assistant account at a construction firm, he maintains high intentions for his DJing profile. He has recently transitioned into becoming a VJ, and he now looks to enhance the entertainment of an event by combining innovative visual art with Music.

DJ Hiro – Hiro Tillani

852-90725114

DJ Hiro claims that music is in his DNA. Over time, he has progressed his passion in music into a profession of being a sound audiophile. Besides being a reputable DJ, Hiro is also a consultant on audio players, equipment, and configurations to get the best sound output. Hiro has been trained and mentored by DJ Simon Choi, a former DMC champion, and a

LOCAL

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852-51887816 thorough expert on mixing, scratching, as well as handling a crowd on the dance floor. Till date, DJ Hiro has garnered a prolific reputation of playing Bollywood, Bhangra, Commercial and House at private parties, functions, weddings, as well as cafes and bars. Among his many prolific experiences, DJ Hiro has DJed alongside DJ NYK, and his most prolific track has been ‘Chake De Phatte.’ While he has been running a garment business for the past two decades, DJ Hiro hopes to continue DJing and expand his network of DJs, organisers and other inspirational leaders across industries.

Suraj (Sam) Samtani is an international Writer & Editor, with articles published across medias. He is also an Academic Coach, Native English Teacher & Tutor (NET), Management & Marketing Consultant, and Award-Winning Poet.

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30

PHILANTHROPY

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

HAVEN FOR MIGRANTS Since 2014, Aide et Action International has proactively initiated the “Haven for Migrants Program” in four major cities in India – Chennai, Bhubaneswar, Hyderabad and Madhya Pradesh. With this program, we tackle the serious problems faced by young migrants

PHILANTHROPY

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I

magine an 11-year-old child have no opportunity to attend school but working at the dangerous brick kilns over twelve hours a day

Young Bhavani once worked at a construction site with her parents over 1,000 km from their house for 12 to 14 hours a day. While on the job, she burnt her hand and only received medical treatment three days after the injury.

Sadly, she is not the only victim, as there are over 500 children in India who face the same situation at work sites.

Life of Migrant Children in India Every year, around 15 million children and their families travel across the country to construction sites near big cities to find work. In the process, they sometimes even lose their fundamental rights and lack access to housing, health care, food provisions, and, of course, education. 80% of the migrant children have no opportunity to attend school, while 40% of them are enslaved as child laborers and made to work in dangerous and injury-prone conditions. To help alleviate the problem, Aide et Action International has saved 5,700 children since 2014. Many of the children have returned to school, free from working at the brick kilns. Young Bhavani is one of those many freed, and she now studies in a public school where she can enjoy being a child again.

Haven for Migrants Program Aide et Action International believes that all children deserve the opportunity to receive education with dignity and equality. The “Haven for Migrants Program” in 4 major cities across India – Chennai, Bhubaneswar, Hyderabad and Madhya Pradesh to tackle the serious problems faced by the young migrants in the following areas:

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PHILANTHROPY

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

Education Establish a Child Care Learning Center near the work sites so that the migrant children are educated, cared for and fed in a safer environment.

Hygiene Teach the children and their parents about hygiene and nutritional knowledge in order to reduce diseases.

Health Provide migrant families with access to regular body checks, health supplements and immunization

Reintegration Assist school-aged children to smoothly reintegrate to neighboring schools

Advocacy Lobby the help of construction site owners and authorities to relieve child labor through “Smiley Brick Program” and advocate the protection of children’s rights.

Caption: "Smiley Brick" produced by one of the brick companies, SVR who commits in the scheme.

By supporting Aide et Action International, you will make a huge difference and change their lives.

• With only HK$150 per month, you can provide nutritional supplements and health care services to 10 children per year.

• With only HK$280 per month, you can support the operation of 3 Child Care Learning Centers* per year (*including educators’ training, teaching supplies and basic operating costs) • With only HK$500 per month, you can provide education and holistic care to 15 children per year.

Make a difference now for these vulnerable migrant children in India by supporting Aide et Action International at www.aeahk.org.hk

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34

IN THE MOOD

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

IN THE MOOD

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HK’S ROUGH SHADES OF ROMANCE

As Hong Kongers get occupied with their careers and commerces, they’ve seen their intimate relationships get most compromised. Although Asia’s World City is rarely recognized as a romantic paradise, recent research reveals an ongoing ‘epidemic’ amongst local couples. We explored the disheartening situation and found out how some people and businesses are helping.

D

ivorces in Hong Kong (HK) have now become so common, that the city is informally known as the ‘Divorce Capital of Asia,’ and is an obvious haven for divorce lawyers. A study in 2014 by the University of Hong Kong (HKU) revealed that the number of individuals divorced has almost doubled in the past decade, while the divorce incidence has risen to 30 per cent. Dr. Sandra Tsang Kit-man, HKU Associate Professor, notioned that the average length of a marriage amongst divorcing couples is around 12 years.

This though, is largely “dependent upon the number of children” a couple bears; the more children they have, the longer they are likely to stay in their family structure.

Local factors such as busy lifestyles, work pressures, and soaring costs, however, have repressed much of the city’s family culture. Mandy Ip, whose husband frequently works upto 16 hours a day, echoes the predicaments of a typical local double-income couple. “We both work tirelessly just to maintain a decent living, and we rarely have quality time with each other during the week.”

Ip laments. She adds that after paying for their increasing expenses, most of their earnings go towards their savings; they have set themselves a target of HK$5 million in cumulative savings before raising a child. Until then, she admits that they indulge in coitus cautiously.

The effect of this trend has seen HK’s fertility rate plunge to 1.17 and the median age surge to 43.2.

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IN THE MOOD

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

she stresses. Although this may seem sexist, a man typically thrives when he is the primary provider, while his partner basks in the security of his protection and remains open to receiving from him.

A couple’s compatibility, or lack of thereof, as well as their frequency between the sheets are also likely determinants of their marriage success.

A global survey by Durex showed that HK has a sexual satisfaction of just 29%, above only France and Japan.

This was backed by a study from the Family Planning Association Hong Kong (FPAHK), in which 60% of the local women were found with sexual problems, including stunted libido, difficulties during orgasm, and coital pain.

As they find it difficult to consummate, or even communicate, sexually with their partners, some tend to seek alternate paths - and persons - to experience and express their sexuality. Ashley Madison, a leading online platform for people to have affairs, has had “incredible success in Hong Kong.” Along with others like Tinder and Plenty of Fish, the digital hookup industry has a collective local reach of about 17%. Although it is just as possible for women to be unfaithful, most cases reported are of “husbands who had extra-marital affairs”. Seeing the need to salvage local marriages and family structures, Dr. Sue Lo Seen-Tsing, senior director of FPAHK, strongly urges women to “overcome shyness, initiate coitus, and have more sexual communication.”

Among social settings though, women have taken such significant strides, that there have even been changes in gender roles and expectations. Women have become more career oriented, (financially) independent, and do not necessarily need to rely on a man to provide for them. The increase in local unmarried women, as well as the tendency to get married at an increasingly later age reflects this change. An excessive delay in getting married however, could have adverse effects, especially for women wanting to raise children, as they are likely to experience hormonal and biological changes as they age. These social trends, along with increasing marital conflicts, has given rise to a growing industry of professional matchmakers and relationship therapists.

Mei Ling Ng Liu, founder of Hong Kong Matchmakers, specialises her services for the elite singles. While agreeing that HK has become a ‘graveyard of marriages,’ she is determined to improve the situation by also educating the public.

“A woman spends years working...to acquire a high education, job, income & power… only to find out that none of these are important to her spouse...who actually prefers her [to accept] what he says, laugh at his jokes and adore him,”

From her intensive work with singles and couples, holistic therapist Sonia Samtani seconds these observations. While she notions that “a couple may stay together if they share even one of sex, money or communication,” the last factor is the most pivotal. “It is important to communicate early on with your partner about what makes you feel most loved, and what triggers your buttons,” she advises, as she helps couples build a deeper connection and understanding.

Samtani also teaches couples to identify what values and passions they share together, besides their children. These commonalities would then be the springboard when inevitable differences arise between the two people who could seem as dissimilar as Mars & Venus.

Samtani’s suggestions are punctuated by the findings of the HKU study, which lists lack of communication, infidelity, and a weak pre-marital relationship as the most common reasons for marital conflict.

Although recent studies, statistics and surveys paint a rather bleak picture of a HK bedroom, the increase in support and guidance have kept observers optimistic.

One therefore envisions a time where relationships are valued as much as other priorities, and families are built on the couple’s mutual commitment to nourish each other with optimal love, intimacy, and acceptance.

Suraj (Sam) Samtani is an international Writer & Editor, with articles published across medias. He is also an Academic Coach, Native English Teacher & Tutor (NET), Management & Marketing Consultant, and Award-Winning Poet.

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38

SPIRITUAL

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

SPIRITUAL RESPONSE THERAPY Ask and Get Answered

Having started his business from humble beginnings, he has since transformed into an affluent and inspirational entrepreneur.

1. Many opportunities come to me but they feel incomplete. I get a good project, but the team I am assigned performs poorly, or they are lazy to do their share of the work, so the result is much poorer than what it should be. Or, I get a project and the demand of work is very high but in the end the project turns out to be so important, that my work and effort goes unnoticed.

The reason for this could be that you may be blocked in any of the following areas: success, recognition, self-value (importance), or prestige. In addition, you could be attracting situations that make you feel like you need to put in a lot of effort, which could be as a result of a limiting belief that things don’t come to you easily. It would be of benefit to you to get these blocks cleared by techniques you resonate with.

2. My last 3 relationships have been very bad. My past boyfriends took me for granted, and didn’t treat me well.

At first, they were very caring, but after some time they changed. Why is this always happening?

We tend to trigger and run programs that limit us to attracting a similar kind

of energy into our lives; the same can be true with romantic partners. You are sending out certain energies that are your relationships into the same limiting space. This is why at the beginning of your relationship all the boys seem different, however after dating them for a while, you find them all behaving in the same way with you. It would be best to clear these patterns, so you are sending out higher vibrations for your love life, so you to change the result of what you are manifesting.

3. I have a lot of trouble with my throat and neck. At times the pain is unbearable and even my painkillers do not help. I have checked with my doctor, had x-rays, seen the acupuncturist, chiropractor and even tried Ayurveda treatment, but nothing has helped. My reports are all clear, which means that no problem has been diagnosed. Can you help or suggest something?

We store energies in various parts of our body. If we feel anger about a certain issue, we may hold that energy of anger in our throat (perhaps because we don’t speak up for or protect ourselves -

communication). Constant accumulation of energy in the throat can eventually result in a physical manifestation of an actual medical condition involving the throat (or even spread through our ENT), like frequent laryngitis, sore throat, sinusitis, headaches, migraines or even cancer in the throat. I would recommend that you try an energy healing session – any technique you resonate with – to clear what is blocked, or has already accumulated, and also to understand why this energy has accumulated. Then going forward, be very mindful that you do not repeat the same responses to situations to avoid recreating the initial problem.

For example, if not speaking up for yourself was the reason for the throat issue then going forward make sure that you do speak up when and where needed.

You may need some clearing in order for you to feel comfortable and deserving of this support to yourself. You may be feeling like you don’t deserve to protect yourself which is why you choose to stay quiet. If these blocks are cleared you will be comfortable and in a space of balance and non-conflict when you take the action to speak up.

Ruhaani is a Spiritual Response Therapy Practitioner who works with clients, to help them release discordant energies, blocks and programs. Ruhaani chose to work with SRT because she found it to be a fast, effective and exacting technique to clear blocks and energies that prevent us from experiencing our life at its truest and most expansive expression. Ruhaani has worked with clients of all ages, coming from various parts of the world. In a short span of time, through her her abilities and dedication, she has helped change the lives of numerous people. Ruhaani is a certified practitioner in Spiritual Response Therapy, Reiki and also works with animals.

Ruhaani holds an Advance Certificate in Spiritual Response Therapy from Zon Center in Hong Kong and a Second Degree in Usui System of Reiki.

Contact information: Cell: +852 6505 8286 | Email: Ruhaani@Shukhraana.com | Website: https://www.shukhraana.com

The Art of Manifestation:

Let go and Allow!

Welcome to 2018! As we embark into the new year, I am sure many of you have desires, goals and objectives that you wish to achieve – and I think that’s a beautiful way to get clarity to keep moving forward. However, one of the key points about manifestation that we tend to forget most is the art of letting go. So as Ironic as it sounds, when you create what you want in this year also learn to be okay without getting it!

The rationale is that if we are okay with or without our goals, our vibration changes completely from lack (because desires come from a place of not having) to peace. This space of peaceful manifestation is far more effortless as there is no resistance. In essence, when we learn to let go, we bring in more faith and belief in our lives; we develop a faith that we are okay without that goal, and yet we still believe that our life is working for us and not against us. As a result, our experience of life changes; we are more in flow and what we

want comes to us as a bi-product of the inner peace that we feel.

A simple technique to do this is to become clear about what you want: imagine yourself getting it and feel the sensations of satisfaction in your body. Then, step away from that picture retaining the positive emotions in your body. Next, cover that image in a bubble of white light and release it up to the atmosphere, with the intention of surrendering your attachment to this desire. See yourself still feeling your positive emotions of peace or satisfaction, even without that goal, and trust that it will come to you if it’s in alignment with your life plan. It’s great to do this in the morning, then focus on all the rest of the things in your life that are working for you during the rest of the day, and feel that you are in a space of peace and gratitude.

I invite you to try this technique for specific goals and watch the magic as you let go and let in!

Sonia Samtani is a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Corporate Trainer. She is also the founder and director of All About You Wellness Centre, which offers bespoke private and group courses on mental and emotional wellness.

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40

PROFILE

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

“JUST DANCE!”, SAYS RANI ASRA GIDWANI Some say dance is an art; some apply science. Some use it for a purpose; some seek it out of interest. As the prevalence of dance classes has never been stronger, A-Desiflava catches up with one of the first Indian dance teachers in Hong Kong, Rani Asra Gidwani.

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F

or all those seeking to learn Bollywood dance in Hong Kong, Rani Asra Gidwani is reportedly among the top teachers in the industry. Being one of the pioneers of private dancing lessons in Hong Kong, especially among Indians, Rani has taught countless non-dancers to move seamlessly to the beat. More importantly, through her lessons, students have found a new way to express themselves, exercise, as well as appreciate the rhythm of music.

Rani Gidwani has been teaching in Hong Kong for almost three decades.

Over the past thirty years, she has had an instrumental contribution in livening up the entertainment and sentimental quotient at innumerable weddings, birthday parties, cultural and religious events, as well as prolific, private and corporate functions. Besides being one of the first Indian choreographers in town, she boasts of an enviable professional portfolio as a choreographer, laden with experience and expertise.

Rani specialises in teaching dance to various tunes of India, including Bollywood, hip hop, bhangra, as well as

fusion. Her students have been as young as 3 year olds, and as mature as 85 year olds, coming from all countries and cultures. She even holds the distinction of choreographing and dancing with top Bollywood celebrities like Sanjay Dutt, Hrithik Roshan, and Abhishek Bachchan. From introducing absolute beginners to the pleasure of dance, to facilitating dance mavericks to bring out their best, Rani’s achievements are listless.

Rani is most appreciated for effortlessly customising her dance steps to match each of her students’ skill and personality. At every step, she guides her students to “be original, creative, and stylish.” Most of all, she supports them to dance with passion, put their whole heart into their dance, and be the best version of themselves, both on and off the dance floor. Unsurprisingly, she has an impressive success rate of choreographing acclaimed performances that are admired for being aesthetic, enjoyable, and well coordinated.

“As a teacher, my greatest satisfaction is when my students perform well,” says Rani. “They are my pride, and each of their achievements are my

PROFILE

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triumphs.” Of late, Rani has noticed that her younger students are more free-spirited than ever before. “They are enthusiastic, focussed, and most of all, they are (more) fearless,” notes Rani, as she reflects on the changes among the generations. This competitive spirit buoys Rani, as she is excited to see them become high achievers in every aspect of their lives in the years to come.

Rani’s students remember her fondly, even after ‘graduating’ from her lessons.

One of Rani’s greatest surprises came in the early 2000s, when she was invited to only choreograph, but also do performance, for her devout fans.

It was at a high-profile Divali function, afore a wide and reputable audience; the relentless cheers of her name by everyone has been the best, and most unforgettable, rhythm that Rani has ever danced to.

Till date, Rani continues to inspire her students to find their own rhythm, and dance like never before. Every performance coordinated by her carries her signature, and she is remembered for not only helping learners take new steps, but also leaping past all types of fears, insecurities, and incapabilities.

Suraj (Sam) Samtani is an international Writer & Editor, with articles published across medias. He is also an Academic Coach, Native English Teacher & Tutor (NET), Management & Marketing Consultant, and Award-Winning Poet.

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ASTROLOGY

Volume 7 | Issue 1

43

ASTROLOGY BY

Munisha Khatwani for February 2018 Aries:

If you are in a commitment relationship, you may be considering taking the next step towards marriage, as your Venus is well placed and is benefitting you. Some influences might be there on the personal front, so make sure you do as your heart desires and not as told to you.

Your health will be good this month.

Leo: Those who have been secretly in

Taurus: Your stars indicate that this

Virgo: Your career looks very positive

is a slightly weak period for you. You need to be patient with certain things as they may turn out to be in your favour, but not as quickly you expect. What matters most in life is how you see your self, and this is most important on the personal front. Your Mars says that you might be in a relationship which doesn’t seem to be the way you want it to be.

Gemini: You will decide to dive into

your heart’s desire this month, and not bother what other people are telling you about your professional life. Family will need your support, suggests your cards you need to be there for them. Life sometimes seems to be a bit of struggle on the legal front, but good things comes to those who wait. On the money front, be careful of your expenditure.

Cancer:

You will be missing the company of your old friends this month.

Your Mercury says that you might want to contact him or her, and you may even decide to end the differences. Your planet Sun suggests that your career will take a better shape, and you will be enjoying that aspect of your life. You might need a loan and it is best that you invest your money wisely.

love with someone might get a favourable response this month. There might be a special connection with siblings this month too, and it is important to maintain a solid bond with them. Money may also come in from unexpected sources. this month. You could be getting new offers and opportunities that make you very happy. Your Sun is in a good position, and you may decide to pursue your career with full swing. You could get a lot of support from your family.

Libra:

The cards advise you to be patient as far as your career is concerned.

Things will pick up for you, but you need to have faith. Your Saturn is running weak at the moment, which blocks things in your life. As far as love is concerned, you may get support from your partner and there will be peace in the relationship.

Scorpio:

Money will be of utmost importance this month as you may want to clear a lot of old debts. You may be inclined to concentrate on your career, and you will have little time for love. You might not even have much time to relax this month, as your work diary is hectic and busy – though a family celebration could be on the agenda soon.

Sagittarius:

Some of you might decide to change jobs or professions, says your planet Sun. The good news is that you are moving into a better place and the change will do you good. Your

Mercury, however, is running weak and you may have to delay your travel plans. You might land up having some arguments with your partner or family member as you could also be a little short tempered this month .

Capricorn:

Work is worship but all work and no play makes jack a dull boy, and that is exactly what might happen to you this month. You will be so busy working that you will not have the time for fun and socialising, but you need to strike a balance, says your Moon.

Your Uranus also suggests that you like someone but due to ego issues you are avoiding contact with that person.

Aquarius:

It is fine to be a little selfish at times, although you might feel guilty about doing so this month. There is no need to feel guilty though, as self time is also equally important. Your work life may be busy, and you could get some added responsibilities. Certain projects will come your way if you try very hard, but you will have to really pursue it.

Money matters will bother you, a little as your Jupiter is weak this month.

Pisces:

Travel seems to be on the agenda this month, and you will be quite busy. Many things go according to plan, but your career may not be as smooth, says your stars, so just have the grace to accept whatever is coming your way. Your planet Mars is well placed, which could even suddenly turn your enemies into your well-wishers. Your health would be good, but you need to exercise to stay fit this month.

Munisha Khatwani has been a famous and popular professional tarot card reader for the last 18 years. Throughout her career, she has appeared on several TV shows. She hosted an astrology show called Teen Deviyaan, which was aired on Star News for 7 years.

Her journey continued as she appeared on a few episdoes of Simi Garewal’s India’s Most Desirable TV show, wherein she conducted televised readings for Bollywood celebrities such as Ranbir Kapoor, Deepika Padukone and Priyanka Chopra. Subsequently, she featured on a show called India Poochega: Sabse Shaana Kaun? with Shah Rukh khan on &TV. Besides, she has written many columns for various magazines, newspapers, and websites including Telly Chakkar, The Gulf Indian, Showtime, Star Week, and Filmfare. She will soon be seen on her own tarot show called Karmic Shots with Munisha, which will be aired on all the DTH set top boxes on a new channel called Astrovaani. The impressive list of her accurate and prolific predictions include the Prime Minister of India, Narendra Modi, Cricket World Cup victors, winners of reality TV shows - like Nach Baliye, Big Boss and Jhalak Dikhlajaa – as well as many celebrities’ marriages and break ups. Over the past 18 years of giving tarot and astrology readings, she has guided innumerable Indian TV and film celebrities. Her contact details are as follows - Number: +91 9820047209, and Email: khatwanim@gmail.com.

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AUNTY MVP

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Volume 7 | Issue 1

DEAR AUNTY POONAM Each issue, we invite readers to send us questions under anonymity about on personal dynamics and relations. Here are 3 selected questions from those recently sent to us:

Question 1: Dear Poonam Aunty My name is Sharon, a single mother of an 14 year old son. I would like your opinion on how I could relate and build a connection with my child. The shooting games that he plays, the superhero action movies that he watches, or even the rugby that he watches and plays - they all seem so very violent to me, yet I know that they are normal for boys. What do I do? Please help!

Answer 1: Dear Sharon, The teenage years can be tough for any parent, and you are already aware of your son’s daily activities. As a single parent, you might tussle with how to meritoriously raise your son. Learn to foster a connection with him by sharing your own challenges, he will feel responsible and compassionate when it comes from an adult especially his own mother. Don’t take this conversation as an opportunity to indirectly lecture him – please avoid condescending speeches! Make him feel that his viewpoint will be well received. This will build trust and respect between you both. Ask him questions, and encourage him to discuss his opinion with you, share your own perspectives and be supportive of his views. If you have any concerns, state it clearly, so the main message doesn’t get lost. Respect his privacy and give him responsibility for running chores like going to bank or supermarket.

Encourage him to join you in the kitchen, even if it is cleaning the fridge. Maintain an open dialogue on tough topics guide him if he shows interest. The idea is to build a healthy relationship of trust and respect.

Question 2: Dear Poonam Aunty My name is Arjun and I would like your advice on how I could inform the sudden bereavement of my brother to my young 4

year old child. My son was fairly close to his uncle, but I'm not sure if he is even fully mature enough to comprehend the concept of death and gravity of the situation. What do I tell him? Please help.

Answer 2: Dear Arjun, Your concern for your son is very valid, and my heartfelt condolence to the family.

Being attached to the family member is natural, and so is the passing away brings sadness, which is hard for your son.

In general, children do not understand the concept of death at such a tender age but as a parent when talking about death, use simple and clear words. Listen and comfort him and put emotions into words.

Share with him of elders you have lost in your life, Furthermore, help him remember the person by showing photographs taken on occasions that can bring sweet memories and console him. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting about the loved one. It means remembering the loved one fondly on happy occasions to keep their memory alive.

Please refrain from statements such as ‘he is gone for a long sleep’ or ‘we have lost him’ this can often cause more confusion. He may not be able to understand the irreversibility and should be told repeatedly that the dead cannot come back. If there are follow up rituals to perform allow him to participate. This is a very crucial age for 4 years, therefore, gently ask him of his feelings but ensure he does not dwell on sad feelings for a long time, shift to other fun activity that makes your child feel a little better to maintain the balance of his feelings.

Arjan, I hope this is useful.

Question 3: Dear Poonam Aunty I am a seasoned bachelor named Steve, and I am in my mid 20s. I would like your advice on what I should look out for when choosing a partner. I know that physical attractiveness

is just as commonly needed as emotional intimacy and mental compatibility. But from the realistic stories of my friends and colleagues, it seems unlikely to find all of it in one relationship. So, what should be my romantic relationship deal makers and breakers? & How do I know when I should compromise for "love," and when I should stand my ground on the basis of self-respect?

Answer 3: Dear Steve, Looking for a soulmate is probably everyone’s desire but finding a soulmate is quite a task.

While it is about cultivating a healthy relationship, one cannot do it in a vacuum.

It may be counterintuitive, but it is important that you are happy and confident, before you find your soulmate.

Self-evaluation is important. Look at your own qualities hold on to your integrity and self-respect. What are your hobbies are you financially stable? What is your relationship with your colleagues at work and with your family? Besides are you open-minded?

Relationships last better if both partners are happy and confident themselves. It is essential to avoid certain internal biases and prejudices; do not judge a person by his skin colour or ethnicity. Take time to know a person before you decide whether the relationship is worth pursuing.

Let your instincts guide you more than a list of pros or cons. You might be surprised: one day, you may meet a wonderful person. Remember, if you are looking for a soulmate of your choice, then probably she too will be looking for desirable qualities in you.

Please send your questions on love and relationships to adesiflava@gmail.com with subject line Dear Aunty Poonam.

All names and details of personal identities have been modified.

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