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Issue 14 August 2010
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IN THIS ISSUE
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IN COUNTRY 'That it then?' I nodded, and Derek the removal man turned back to the van, gave a wave to his driver and went to the back to lift the ramp, close the hatched and seal up the contents of my previous life.
By James Ross
anguish of what I'd never have again, and then, having faced my grief, it faded. Quietly, almost reverentially, I closed the door and, taking a purposeful deep breath, I walked back along and out through the front door, turned and slammed it shut on my old life.
Feeling somehow lighter, I walked down the steps from what had been my front door and across the road to the car, to where Danny was sitting absorbed in his book. I opened the driver's door and got in; ‘Ready for an adventure?' I asked 'Cool.' him, fastening my seat belt, adjusting the wonky rear-view mirror until it seemed prepared to stay A few minutes later he said, 'The sign says in one position long enough for me to be able to Peckham.' You want chipped cups, splintered furniture, ascertain that we weren't going to be crushed by mashed boxes, lost boxes. Delays. Traffic jams. Fifteen minutes later we turned into a cul-dea speeding juggernaut or a fire-engine while Running over time. Running out of time. You want sac that contained a row of large but fairly driving along the Queen's Highway, and turned stuff stored in the wrong rooms, too-heavy-todilapidated Victorian houses surrounded on three the ignition key. move tea-chests dumped in the passage, stuff left sides by large equally dilapidated blocks of 1960's behind to be collected, or not, three shame-faced He nodded, still looking at his book, ‘Sure,' and neo-brutalism social housing. Our apartment was weeks later, after seven increasingly irate phone reached over and patted my hand. in the basement of the house with the removal calls from the new homeowner. You want van parked outside. I pulled between the removal inefficiency, damage and loss. 'What's that for?' I asked. van and a skip, jerked on the handbrake, and turned off the engine. 'Come on,' I said. In fact, if you were in my position, you would He looked up at me, ‘I'm on your side, dad. want the removal men to simply forget to arrive; That's all.' Danny climbed out and went for a look round you'd want the estate agent to lose the contracts while I went to unlock the door for Derek and his 'You're eight. You don't get to be on shortly before the exchange takes place; you'd assistant. Then I went and sat on the wall someone's side at eight.' want the utility companies to forget to switch. watching Danny running around. He smiled knowingly, and went back to his And you'd want your wife not to have left you. From this vantage point, I could look up at the book. back doors and broken windows of the council Derek snapped shut the padlock on the back of flats opposite; I could count the satellite dishes On the third attempt, the engine of our the van, nodded in my direction and walked round and scan the walkways and stairwells where, no brand-new, seven-year-old Fiat managed to fire to climb into the passenger seat. With a cough of doubt, the feral underclass would prowl of an up; I adjusted the mirror again, signalled and blue smoke the diesel engine fired up and the evening, dealing drugs, stealing phones from driver wasted no time in crunching it into gear and pushed out into the traffic. We drove out of the pregnant fifteen year-olds, and stabbing each street where we'd lived for nine years without thrusting it out amongst the blaring horns of other. looking back. Though that could have been midday London traffic. Some of what was in the because the rear-view mirror had slipped down back of the van was coming with us to our new Danny was running off some energy, exploring home, but a lot more was to be dropped off at the and sideways once more, giving me a clear view nooks and crannies around the cul-de-sac, and I auction house later. The way I felt at that moment, of the passenger side dashboard air-vent. was letting the removal men do their job, and the it could have all been taken direct to a landfill. sun was setting behind a tower block. 'I like adventures,' Danny said, after about ten This is not what I asked for, I told myself, as I minutes. 'Don't go to far,' I shouted. slipped the door keys into an envelope, sealed it I rubbed his hair, 'So do we all.' and pinned the envelope to the wall just inside the He ran over to me, 'What?' front door. Then, after folding my copy of Derek 'Don't muss up my hair,' he told me. 'It's got gel 'I said, don't go too far.' the removal man's manifest and slipping it into my on.' pocket, I took one last look along the hall, past the 'Ok.' 'Sorry.' front room door, past the dining room door, to the kitchen, where we'd breakfasted every morning I went to muss his hair but remembered his ''S ok.' for years, first as man and wife, and then man warning about the hair gel, so instead asked, and wife and child, and lately, as father and son. 'Well, what you think?' ‘When did you start wearing hair gel?' You don't really want removal men to be efficient and clean; you want them to be burly, and surly, beer-bellied, with pie-breath and greasy flat-cap. You want them to pause, rub their aching back and take a sharp intake of breath; ‘dunno about that guvna. Isn't on the manifest.
On impulse I stepped back inside, walked along the hall to the kitchen door and took one last look inside, imagining us some seven years ago, seeing again the chaos of a young, happily married couple and their baby boy, eating breakfast, getting ready for work, talking, being a family. I saw this picture in my head, felt the
‘Daaad!' We drove south, across the river, and the traffic was lighter than usual, this still being the school holidays. Danny looked up and asked, 'Where are we?' 'Adventure country,' I told him.
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He looked around as the glooming evening spread from shadow to shadow; streetlights were flickering on at random, doorways and corners beginning to look threatening. He looked back at me and whispered, 'Bandit Country,' his eyes glittering, and then he ran off to explore some more. END.
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£ 3995
54
307 S 1.4 5DR ELEC BLUE A/CON 18K FSH
£ 4995
55
KA STYLE PEPPER RED COLOUR CODED 50K
£ 3995
03
PEUGEOT 206 CC 2.0 5SP LEATHER A/CON SILVER 53K FSH
£ 4995
04
CLIO 5DR DYN IN SILVER 35K A/CON
£ 3995
05
SCENIC EXPR 1.6 5SP A/CON 38K
£ 4995
52
FOCUS GHIA 2.0 5DR 5SP 2ONRS INK BLUE 69K FSH
£ 3995
55
MEGANE DYN AUTO SILVER 55K A/CON
£ 4995
52
MEGANE SCENIC FIDJI AUTO A/CON 65K
£ 3995
53
FIESTA 1.4 GHIA DURASHIFT AUTO 5DR 38K FSH AQUARIUS
£ 4995
53
FOCUS ZETEC 1.6 3DR SILVER A/CON 1ONR 74K
£ 3995
54
307S 1.6 3DR SILVER 35000MLS A/CON
£ 4995
51
YARIS GLS 1.3 5DR A/CON PAS FSH 65K
£ 3995
02
YARIS VERSO GLS 1.3 AUTO SILVER A/CON 53K FSH
£ 4995
Y
COROLLA 1.6 GS AUTO 5DR A/CON 1ONR 23000M/S
£ 3995
Vehicles
FOCUS ZETEC 1.6 AUTO SILVER 46K 2ONRS
£ 3995
from £1,000 to £25,000
06
C3 L 1.1 5DR IN ELEC BLUE 33K 10NR
£ 4995
02
02
PEUGEOT 206 CC AUTO 1.6 59K A/CON FSH
£ 4995
03
CORSA SXI 1.2 5DR EASYTRONIC AUTO 24K FSH
£ 3995
53
FIESTA BLACK 1.4 3DR 2ONRS 50K FSH LEATHER
£ 4995
02
PEUGEOT 307 LX HDI 2.0 5DR 2ONRS 66K A/CON
£ 3995
04
ZAFIRA LIFE 1.6 5SP ULTRA BLUE 53K
£ 4995
52
HONDA CIVIC COUPE 1.6 5SP 2ONRS A/CON 75K FSH
£ 3995
55
CORSA 1.2 ACTIVE EASYTRONIC AUTO 22K
£ 4995
06
TACUMA SX 1.6 5SP IN BLACK 13OOOM/S A/CON
£ 3995
05
HONDA JAZZ S 5DR 5SP IN SILVER 47K
£ 4995
56
KA IN BLACK 1ONR 34K
£ 3995
04
307 1.4 ENVY 5DR 5SP 2ONRS A/CON 32K FSH
£ 4995
04
FOCUS ZETEC 1.6 5SP 5DR 79K
£ 3995
04
VECTRA DESIGN 2.2 AUTO 5DR 54K
£ 4995
52
FOCUS CHIC 1.6 3DR LEATHER 58K
£ 3995
52
YARIS CDX VVTI 1.3 5DR AUTO A/CON FSH 27000MLS
£ 4995
53
PICASSO DESIRE 2 1.6 IN BLACK 1ONR FSH 66K
£ 3995
56
HYUNDAI MATRIX GSI 1.6 5SP 23000MLS A/CON
£ 4995
53
VECTRA LS 5DR 1.8 A/CON 76K 2ONRS
£ 3995
54
ASTRA 1.6 CLUB 5SP 40000MLS
£ 4995
03
MEGANE DYNAMIQUE 1.4 3DR IN SILVER 63K
£ 3995
04
VECTRA LS 5DR 1.8 2ONRS 49K A/CON
£ 4795
51
ZAFIRA COMFORT AUTO 1.8 IN SILVER 60K
£ 3995
05
PICASSO LX 1.6 5SP PAS 15000MLS
£ 4695
N
MERCEDES E220 AUTO COUPE FSH 73000MLS
£ 3995
04
SCENIC EXP 1.6 5SP A/CON GLASS ROOF 48K
£ 4595
56
KA STYLE IN SILVER COLOUR CODED 16600MLS
£ 3995
54
YARIS T3 1.0 3DR SILVER 29K PAS
£ 4495
02
FIESTA LX 1.4 5DR AMPORO 1ONR FSH 48K A/CON
£ 3795
55
CORSA BREEZE 1.2 5DR EMBER RED 31K A/CON
£ 4495
02
FIESTA 1.4 GHIA 5DR (NEW) IN BLACK 59K
£ 3795
54
FIESTA LX 1.2 3DR TONIC 2ONRS 35K
£ 4495
51
COROLLA GS 1.4 5DR 43K A/CON
£ 3695
02
JAGUAR X TYPE 2.1 5SP SILVER 2ONRS 91K FSH
£ 4495
02
CORSA SXI 5DR IN SILVER FSH 71K
£ 3695
54
CORSA LIFE 1.0 5DR EASYTRONIC AUTO 29000MLS
£ 4495
03
MICRA E 1.0 3DR PAS SILVER 2ONRS FSH 37K
£ 3695
53
ZAFIRA ACTIVE 1.6 5SP 45K A/CON
£ 4495
02
FOCUS ZETEC 1.6 PEPPER RED 67K FSH
£ 3495
04
TINO SE 1.8 5SP IN GREY FSH 45K A/CON
£ 4495
02
FOCUS 3DR ZETEC 1.8 PEPPER RED 56K FSH
£ 3495
53
ZAFIRA 1.6 DESIGN 5SP MIDNIGHT BLUE 40K
£ 4495
52
206 STYLE 1.1 3DR IN BLUE 23000MLS
£ 3295
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If you are looking to change your garage door, upgrade to automatic openers or simply repair your existing garage door, AKLASS AUTOMATION are the right people to contact
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Le Restaurant Fabrice London Road, Teynham, Sittingbourne, Kent. ME9 9PS
01795 521330 Fine French & English Cuisine
www.fabricerestaurant.co.uk Visit our Restaurant for a mouth watering treat and a thoroughly enjoyable evening out. Only Fresh Produce Served for a Gourmet Delight
FREE REGISTRATION If you own or run a restaurant, take-away or some other eatery, then we would like to invite you to register on www.foodacrosskent.co.uk. Across Kent is aiming to make www.foodacrosskent.co.uk the most popular website directory of eating establishments in Kent. So take 5 minutes out of your busy schedules to register please. Thank You. 28
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The Angel 14th Century Village Inn 01732 842117 Located on the Addington Village Green Traditional Pub, Restaurant & Bed and Breakfast Function Room ~ Rear Garden Live Music every Friday evening & Every second Wednesday evening Traditional & Modern Cuisine Set 2 or 3 Course menu Mon to Friday From ÂŁ11.00
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Lime Tree Restaurant
Our Choice for that Special Night Out
10 The Square, Lenham, Maidstone, Kent ME17 2PQ
T: 01622 859509 The Place
Overlooking the leafy square of Lenham, in the oldest Medieval Village of Kent, The Lime Tree on the Square mixes vibrant modern accents with its oak-beamed 14th-century surroundings to create a smart, cozy and welcoming restaurant.
The Restaurant
Offers an impressive array of European
cuisine. Open seven days a week, serving lunch, dinner and afternoon tea including a traditional Sunday lunch menu. Lime Tree is renowned for its commitment to only the finest cuisine, we pride ourselves on serving the best of England, all fresh and local Kent produce. We are committed to ensure your dining experience is truly memorable. Head Chef Riccardo Isolini.
E: gmlimetree@hotmail.com W: www.limetreerestaurant.co.uk 30
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18 - 20 RENDEZVOUS STREET FOLKESTONE KENT. CT20 1EY
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Have Fun all Night Long
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