The Davidsonian 11.15.23

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Davidsonian

Independent Student Journalism Since 1914

inside

davidsonian.news

Abby Smetana ‘27 interviews past writers and reporters for the Davidsonian

Volume 122, Issue 07

November 15, 2023

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PCC Presidents give a joint perspective on the new all access meal plan

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Katherine Marshall ‘26 interviews the Delilah and uncovers their recording process

The Yowl answers some frequently asked questions about car theft on campus

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New Meal Plan: Improving Dining Services or Strain on Student Life?

STELLA MACKLER ‘26 (SHE/HER) CO-EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

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eginning with the class of 2028, all incoming classes at Davidson will be required to be on the all access meal plan for all of their four years at the College.

The all access meal plan, which cost $4,100 per semester and includes unlimited swipes at Vail Commons and 800 dining dollars, is currently only required for freshmen. As of now, upon entering their sophomore year, students have the option to choose from two, four, six, eight, ten or unlimited meals, along with various amounts of dining dollars attached to each plan. However, starting in Fall 2024, this choice will no longer be available.

The decision to require all students to be on the all access plan had many components, including an overall improvement of dining services and combating food insecurity on campus, according to the College. Richard Terry, Director of Auxiliary Services, has been looking to improve the quality and quantity of food options at Davidson since the onset of the Covid-19 pandemic highlighted needs that weren’t being met.

“Covid here, like everywhere else, it was just terrible,” Terry said. “But coming out of that, it became more and more clear that what students generally need from the dining program, we were having a real hard time meeting. Everything from documented dietary needs and cultural and faith based dietary nutritional wants and needs.”

The need to meet faith based and cultural dietary wants and needs is of particular importance.

“The grill area, we’ve kind of turned that into our halal solution,” Terry said. “It’s an okay solution, and I think the food is, it’s not a question of how good the food is, it’s just as a solution for students who are following a halal diet, we need to do more. You can say that across the board.”

The implementation of the all access plan for all students is also an attempt on the part of the College to end food insecurity on

An aeriel view of Davidson College’s Vail Commons. Photo from Davidson College website

campus. Lula Bell’s Resource Center, which provides free groceries and hygiene products to students, among other services, has seen an increase in demand, according to Terry.

“Since Covid, Lula Bell’s traffic has increased, and from what I understand from Lula Bell’s, from the administration there, it’s really shot up this year in particular,” Terry said. “Anecdotally, just the stories we hear from different staff and faculty on campus about students saying I don’t know where my meal is going to come from tomorrow, or I’m not going to have enough to get through the week. Those are the two things that really came together for us.”

No data or school records were provided to quantify food insecurity on campus.

“There isn’t a formal campus measure for food insecurity,” Terry said. “We have seen an increase in utilization of the pantry at Lula Bell’s. We have also cross referenced the use of Lula Bell’s with a list of students on high levels of financial aid and see a disproportionate use of the pantry by students in this category who are choosing smaller meal plans.”

Economic Diversity This change in dining services has raised questions and concerns from many students, including Student Government Association representatives, who were notified of the new policy after the decision to require an all access plan had been finalized. Connor Hines ‘26 is a Senator and Chair of the SGA Food and Housing Committee. He was not included in

maps that disproportionately benefit a certain party.

Julia Kirschenbaum and Michael Li of NYU’s Brennan Center for Justice emphasize that both parties use gerrymandering to their advantage. Republicans have benefited more from gerrymandering in recent years since gerrymandered maps have given the party a 16 to 17 seat advantage in the House of Representatives over the past decade; however, Democrats also embrace gerrymandering.

While gerrymandering benefits certain politicians, it can diminish citizens’ voices.

According to Quinn Dunlap ‘25, the president of the Davidson College Democrats, this biased congressional map will influence elections by “[minimizing] the impact of Democrats and people of color in U.S. Congress in the NC General Assembly.”

Julia Siqueira ‘26, the treasurer of the Davidson College Democrats, also argues that

the map has racist implications.

“The new map weakens the power of Black voters across the state,” Siqueira explained.

According to the Brennan Center, the gerrymandered map splits up Black communities in the Piedmont Triad — a region that encompasses Greensboro, High Point, and Winston-Salem — thus diluting the power of their voices.

North Carolina has a long history of gerrymandering, and the redrawn map only furthers this trend by granting Republicans a disproportionate amount of congressional seats.

Maggie Astor at The New York Times wrote that North Carolina Republicans and Democrats each hold seven seats in Congress.

This split aligns with North Carolina’s political breakdown. The state is relatively balanced between Republicans and Democrats — President Donald Trump only won by a

the initial decision making, but has since been in conversation with school administration.

“There was no discussion at all with us, there was no anything,” Hines said. “I received the email [from Richard Terry], and then received an email right under it saying ‘don’t talk about this with anybody until we announced the decision.’ Then the next day, the tuition increase came out. Apparently, from my understanding, there’s no plan to do the same thing, like broadcast an email, but if you do go to the meal plan section of the Davidson website, this policy’s been updated there.”

Hines has pressed the administration for a clearer explanation of what food insecurity looks like at Davidson.

“As far as data, there is no data that they’ve been able to give me just yet,” Hines said.

“Apparently, there has been mostly anecdotal evidence of food insecurity, and to some extent, I guess, an increase of the number of students using the Lula Bells Food Pantry, which they assume serves students that don’t have access to buying groceries on their own, which is a proper assumption.”

There are specific concerns surrounding an additional cost placed on students.

“I think every student can agree that if members of our Davidson community are facing food insecurity, those problems should be addressed,” Hines said. “We want more variety, more options, more flexibility. I just think to put that cost on the students, when we’re already being asked to pay more for tuition two years in a row just on top of how insane cost of living is nationwide, it’s a huge burden to put on families. I just think they’re likely other ways, other solutions that could have been adopted before a blanket one size fits all.”

Student dining plans are included in financial aid packages, and are covered after a family’s demonstrated contribution. However, for incoming students who may not receive

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NC Legislature Approves Proposal for Gerrymandered Map MADELINE RICHARD ‘26 (SHE/HER) SENIOR STAFF WRITER

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any recent political conversations have centered around last week’s elections, but another important issue is unfolding in North Carolina. On Wednesday, October 25, the North Carolina State House approved a congressional redistricting proposal that has major implications for the state’s political future. The new congressional map was drawn to favor North Carolina Republicans in upcoming elections.

Every 10 years, states use census data to adjust their legislative and congressional districts. This process is meant to ensure that districts accurately represent state populations, yet it often falls short of this goal.

Gerrymandering occurs when states draw

percentage point during the 2020 presidential election, and though Republicans have prevailed in recent Senate elections, they have done so by just two or three points.

Though North Carolina is fairly evenly split, the new congressional map distorts this balance. In upcoming elections, there will be 10 Republican districts, three Democratic districts, and only one toss-up district.

According to Politico, the state legislature accomplished this by concentrating Democrats into just three districts and distributing Republicans throughout the rest of the state.

The new map jeopardizes the position of three Democratic incumbents: Charlotte area Jeff Jackson, Greensboro area Kathy Manning, and Raleigh area Wiley Nickel.

Democratic Representative Don Davis’ seat

CONTINUED ON PAGE 2

News

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College Moves to Implement All Access Meal Plan Policy CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

what in their mind is enough financial aid, the new meal plan requirement could be a barrier to attending Davidson.

“A lot of the concerns I’ve heard are from the students that fall somewhere in the middle, where they receive a financial aid package, and it’s generous, but $2,000, $3,000 increases are very hard for families to stomach,” Hines said. “Oftentimes, these students have to take out the student loans themselves, pay actively their way through college where $3,000 can make or break a student being able to come back next semester.”

Brooke Adams ‘26 is a sophomore class senator and Lula Bells’ liaison for SGA. She works to pay her way through Davidson.

“I work at a grocery store, I buy a lot of my meals from my job,” Adams said. “I don’t use Commons very often, maybe one or two swipes a week. If I was coming into Davidson and I was required to have unlimited access, it would just be a waste of money. I get that it [the meal plan] factors into financial aid and I’m on financial aid. But not everyone gets a full ride to Davidson. Not everyone can afford to just pay outright what Davidson costs. So being able to choose a lower meal plan, if you’re working and choosing where you’re spending your money, where you’re getting your food from, I think is more equitable and accessible.”

Adams also has concerns about how financial aid will support incoming students on the new meal plan requirements.

“For someone like me, like my parents can’t afford to pay for Davidson, I work multiple jobs to be able to afford to go here,” Adams said. “So if I was forced to pay $8,000 on top of everything else I’m not sure that I’d be able to continue going here.”

The all access plan costs $4,100 a semester and $8,200 for the full year.

“We want to increase economic diversity at Davidson, but you’re kind of taking that away if you’re requiring everyone to pay a certain amount and not everyone can do that,” Adams said.

Dining services at Davidson, and most other

colleges, is a self contained entity. Funding comes entirely from meal plan money.

Hines sees this exclusion from the College’s operating budget separation as a contributor to the issues Davidson is trying to solve with the new all access meal plan requirement.

“That’s sort of why we have some of these problems, because if students want to buy lower meal plans, that means less money for dining services to run their operations,” Hines said.

This structure is the norm at many of Davidson’s peer schools, and Terry doesn’t see it changing.

“The College would have to say, ‘We’re going to take money from our operating budget from some other area in and, and, and put it towards dining services.’ That would mean something else wouldn’t happen, right?

So it’s helpful to think of it as finite. It’s a pie, and they’re different pieces. If one piece gets bigger, another piece is gonna get smaller.”

Patterson Court Council Reacts Many students are concerned about the impact the new dining policy will have on Patterson Court Council (PCC) organizations.

PCC organizations, which include eating houses and fraternities, offer their members a meal plan alternative to Commons. With incoming classes no longer having the option to opt-out of the all access plan after their freshman year, PCC leaders are worried there will be less incentive to join a house.

“This is gonna directly impact us whether they would like that to happen or not,” said Turner President Melissa Santos ‘24. “The incentive is with PCC house organizations, that we can offer a meal plan and a social aspect at a lower rate than Commons gives you for meals. A lot of my members are on an eight or six meal plan [at Turner] and pay social fees, that’s cheaper than four to six meals at Commons.”

Eating houses and fraternities also have snacks and left overs, which do not count for student’s weekly meals.

“We have coffee and bagels and breakfast things that you can grab in the morning. So you can still get more meals just from being in the house,” said Connor President Sophia Hanna ‘24.

Terry met with eating house and fraternity leadership, and is working on a plan to ensure that PCC sees no decrease in enrollment or funding. The outline of the plan includes students paying into dining services, and then dining services redistributing money from the all access plan to PCC houses.

“Every student would pay a full meal plan rate, and then by the time we get to that point [next Fall], we’ll have identified what those Patterson Court house structures and funding looks like,” Terry said. “So each house would simply submit the list [that says] ‘This many of our members are on the 10 meal plan per week and this many are on the five and this many are on the two.’ Then we’ll distribute funds directly to those houses and they’ll use that to run their programs.”

PCC meal plans are cheaper because students pay less per meal than they do at Commons. A meal at an eating house could be around $5 per meal, while on the all access meal plan, which assumes students are eating 21 meals per week at Commons, it costs around $12. This means that if meals at PCC cost less than meals at Commons, there will be money left over between what dining services receive and what they give to PCC. “To have a meal per student it costs, at a fraternity house, it costs like $5 per meal,” said Kappa Sigma President Taylor Hopkin ‘25. “What they would say is you have 50 members eating 10 meals a week that cost $5 a meal, and they would give us that amount of money….. So there’s some money that’s not going to be given back.”

Hanna, like Hines, is unhappy that students were not included in the decision making process for the all access requirement.

“I wish that they would have involved us before they made this announcement,” Hanna said. “I think there’s a lot of confusion and a lot of aspects of student life they should have considered before deciding that this was the right way to fight food insecurity.”

Hopkin shared a sense of disappointment in the administration.

“I’m dealing with feeding 60 to 70 people 10 meals a week, I’m the one signing the checks,” Hopkin said. “I feel like I have a perspective that nobody else on this campus

has and I didn’t know about anything until I got the email [to PCC leadership] that said ‘We’re changing the meal plan.’ That seems sort of like a fail to me.”

Santos is particularly worried about what the impact the new dining requirements will have on diversity within PCC. “I have been working very profusely to make it noticeable and make representation of people of color in these halls and organizations, because I think it’s important to have diversity and accessibility in all organizations,” Santos said. “This plan definitely will impede that.”

She sees the policy as a possible barrier to joining PCC organizations for lower income students.

“Ideally I would love to see PCC be very diverse, inclusive and we all try our best to do that,” Santos said. “A lot of the aspect is [that] we are a predominantly white school. PCC orgs are predominantly white and with this additional cost and this additional complication people will be further discouraged from joining. How is that dynamic going to go out and about in the next few years?”

Terry emphasized that although the decision has been made to put incoming students on the all access plans, dining services is committed to working with PCC organizations to troubleshoot the new structure.

“My thinking is that the houses need to know as they’re going through recruitment of new members, they need to be able to say to their members, ‘This is what it will mean for you to join our house.’ But I think we’ve got really the rest of this academic year to work back and forth on what that looks like,” Terry said.

Terry emphasizes the driver behind the new meal plan is to improve all aspects of food and dining at the College.

“What’s really driving this is food insecurity and an overall dining program that’s got to be better,” Terry said. “The dollars that are going to be generated by this are staying in dining services, this is not a money grab to finance something else.”

Gerrymandering Jeopardizes North Carolina’s Democracy CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 will be competitive in the upcoming election cycle.

The 12th congressional district, which includes Davidson, remains relatively unchanged by this gerrymandering. The district, currently represented by Democrat Alma Adams, remains solidly blue.

According to CNN, Republican Representative Destin Hall supervised the redistricting process and admitted that the map leans Republican when it was debated on October 25. Yet during that same conversation, he reportedly argued that “[the new map] does not preordain any type of outcome.”

Many citizens and Democratic politicians feel differently than Hall and are upset by this change.

“Both parties have [gerrymandered] over the years, but it is time to stop,” said an anonymous Davidson parent and North Carolina resident.

“We should have a non-political independent commission draw up maps that are more truly representative of the citizens of the state.”

Representatives Nickel and Jackson also expressed frustration.

“The maps are an extreme partisan gerrymander by Republican legislators that totally screw North Carolina voters,” Nickel wrote on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter.

Jackson hopes to combat this gerrymandering. According to the New York Times, he plans to run for attorney general of North Carolina, which would allow him to

North Carolina’s proposed new map following gerrymandering and redistricting. Photo from FiveThirtyEight.

fight back against biased congressional maps.

Legal action has been taken against gerrymandering in the past. In 2022, the state’s Supreme Court ruled that an earlier instance of gerrymandering was illegal, a decision that led to more competitive districts and balanced Congressional representation. Yet this ruling was subverted once the previously Democratic court flipped Republican. This change allowed Republican politicians to redraw the map to their advantage.

Democratic Governor Roy Cooper cannot

veto the redrawn Congressional maps, but other politicians hope to make change. According to Politico, Democratic Representative Pricey Harris is optimistic that the map could be challenged under the Voting Rights Act. If the map is shown to be illegal, it could be redrawn in a more balanced manner.

Zach Montellaro and Ally Mutnick at Politico suggest that civic groups and Democratic politicians could resist the new maps, but are uncertain whether these efforts would be successful. They also emphasize that

this litigation might not be resolved in time for the 2024 election.

This gerrymandering case should incite concern across partisan lines. The new maps mitigate voters’ power, which compromises democracy. Taylor McGibbon ‘26, a North Carolina resident, reiterates others’ concerns about the state’s political future.

“I​​t is disturbing how unregulated it seems gerrymandering has become,” McGibbon said.

Features

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Davidsonian Alumni Discuss Time on Paper

ABBY SMETANA ‘27 (SHE/HER) STAFF WRITER

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his semester, Davidson College emphasized communal reflection with events ranging from celebrating the fiftieth anniversary of coeducation to reviewing archival footage of Steph Curry. In a similar spirit of reflection and remembrance, The Davidsonian followed up with some alumni of the paper.

Former Editor-in-Chief Harrison Roberts ‘94 described his experience of designing the paper completely by hand.

“For every page of the paper, we would use an exacto knife and cut pieces of paper and lay it out physically on the board…and we would take that to the printer.”

The proliferation of desktop computers greatly revolutionized newspaper making.

During Roberts’s senior year, everything changed.

“We got a Mac SE and it was so fast. Life changing. And we got Adobe PageMaker which allowed us to layout the page on the computer.”

Although technology has forever changed the publication landscape, the pressure associated with meeting the publication deadline remained the same. “[The paper] always came out on Tuesday, so Monday nights we had about five or six people that would just go into the Davidsonian office and stay there until 4:00 AM,” said former sports editor Bratton Holmes ‘98.

Each alum bubbled over with enthusiasm for their former school newspaper.

“The Davidsonian was my favorite thing,” said Chris Frampton ‘95, who was co-editor with Roberts. “More than school, I loved being in there.”

Michael Kruse ‘00, former Editor-in-Chief shared a similar sentiment. “[The newspaper] was a key part of my Davidson experience. In some cases that was to my detriment. I didn’t do as well as a student as I could have because I prioritized The Davidsonian.”

In several former writer’s experiences, the

allure of working for the student newspaper coincided with the freedom to print on any topic.

“Part of the fun of The Davidsonian was whatever the stink on campus was, we’d be able to write about it with relative impunity, which is different from high school,” Holmes said. “We could more or less say what we wanted.”

In some cases, this freedom was embodied by “The Davidphonian”—a prank edition similar to “The Yowl” released in the last printing cycle of the school year. In other cases, the newspaper served as a forum for contentious campus issues. Holmes recounted one of the big stories of his time surrounding the theft of an American flag. “[The student] got arrested for stealing it and the reason he stole it was because he’s in ROTC and the flag wasn’t properly illuminated at night. He took it back to his apartment with him and folded it up and was planning to take it the next day back to the post office and say, ‘Hi. Here’s the flag. I took it down and here’s why.’ Then the police came next morning and arrested him.”

The Davidsonian also served as place of comfort, a place to continually return to.

When Frampton took time off from classes, he created his “Editor in Exile” column.

“One of my favorite memories is when I was working on the paper anyways and not in school, we’re sitting up there [in the office] and Dean Terry came in and very nicely looked at Harrison and at me and very nicely asked how the publication was coming,” Frampton said.

Roberts also has a piece of The Davidsonian that has stayed with him beyond graduation.

After his stint as Editor-in-Chief, his parents gifted him with a bound copy of the Davidsonian articles published during his years working on the paper.

Most of the previous staffers did not go into journalism: Frampton works at a real estate firm, Roberts is a transactional lawyer, and Holmes teaches middle school Latin.

However, many of the alumni still find the Davidsonian in their everyday lives.

“In our company we have a newsletter called The Monthly Archives that we do.

Crime Log Time Reported Description/Location 11/04/23 23:57 hrs Alcohol Offense: Consume by a Person Under 21 x3 Watts, Inactive

Unuathorized Use of Conveyance; 11/07/23 23:47 hrs Propelled Alcohol Offense: Consume by a Person Under 21 Tomlinson, Cleared by Arrest

Felony Breaking & 11/08/23 12:35 hrs Entering a Building; Injury to Personal Property; Larceny PCC #3 Fiji, Further Investigation

Alcohol Offenses: Possess/

11/11/23 03:09 hrs Consume by a Person Under 21

Chidsey, Inactive

A picture of Chris Frampton ‘95 in the Davidsonian. Photo from Chris Frampton

It’s short and sweet, but we’re up to 20,000 subscribers now,” Frampton said.

Similarly, for Holmes “the kids all walk in, and they all look at me for what we’re doing next…I guess there’s this delegation skill I’ve learned from the paper.”

Only Kruse made journalism into his career.

Originally a sportswriter, Kruse spent much of his time at Davidson covering the athletic teams.

“I tried to cover Davidson sports almost in this impressively odd pre-professional way and treated particularly the men’s basketball teams this kind of training ground,” Kruse said.

Kruse going into college that he wanted to be a journalist, and he used The Davidsonian as a launching pad. He would send stories he wrote for The Davidsonian to local newspapers like The Charlotte Observer in hopes of landing a job. Even now, Kruse acknowledges The

Davidsonian as his “most encompassing, most consuming self-styled early journalism education.”

Kruse currently works as a political correspondent at Politico. He began his career transition from sportswriting when he realized he “was just too limited” and wanted “more wide-ranging subject matter. More interesting things, more important things with wider variety and so on.”

Kruse credits his time at the Davidsonian to contributing to his career success later on.

“I think Davidson really teaches you certainly to not be so rigid…No one particular subject matter or specialist in this or that,” Kruse said. “ Davidson gave me gracious curiosity, the ability to learn, do things with efficiency, and communicate clearly.”

Perspectives

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PCC Presidents’ Perspective on New Dining Plan Announcement TAYLOR HOPKIN (HE/HIM) ‘25, CHARLOTTE SPEARS (SHE/HER) ‘24, BROOKS BAAY (HE/HIM) ‘24, IAN MACEL (HE/HIM) ‘24, KATIEANNE PETERSON (SHE/HER) ‘24, MELISSA SANTOS (SHE/HER) ‘24, SOPHIA HANNA (SHE/HER) ‘24

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ood – it keeps us alive, it keeps us motivated, it is the essence of college camaraderie. The only thing better than food is eating it with your closest friends.

And the only thing better than eating food with your closest friends is eating cheap and yummy food with your closest friends. For us, that’s done in our eating house or fraternity.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) we’re older than many of you, and unfortunately (or fortunately) our time at Davidson is limited which means these truths about eating in our houses will last us our time at Davidson.

However, for many of you this may not be the case, and Davidson has decided to completely revamp its meal plan options.

In a bold move to address food insecurity, Davidson has significantly adjusted its meal plan. Starting with the class of 2028, all new students must be enrolled in the unlimited dining plan for their entire four years. This decision, aimed at enhancing the quality of meals and accommodating dietary needs, comes with a steep financial burden. The shift toward a comprehensive plan, while noble in its intentions, overlooks alternative eating options currently enjoyed by students, such as using dorm kitchens, off-campus living (although students who live off campus in the future will be able to opt out), or participating

in eating houses and fraternities with separate meal plans.

The administration has expressed a willingness to reconcile this with a reimbursement plan for IFC and eating houses, but as of now it falls short. The financial discrepancy remains a concern, with some funds potentially lost if students opt for housebased dining.

This brings us to a crucial aspect of Davidson’s social fabric. For many, joining an IFC or eating house is financially viable due to their more affordable meal plans. It’s not just about the food, it’s about the community and the opportunities these organizations offer. We’ve witnessed numerous instances where potential members, initially deterred by financial constraints, found relief in the affordability of our meal plans combined with social dues that are cheaper than Davidsonoffered meal plans. For example, there are members in our organizations who pay thousands less in total tuition by joining a fraternity or eating house.

However, the new meal plan, with its higher costs, threatens to disrupt this inclusivity.

The financial aid provided by the school for these organizations is already limited, and the additional expense of the compulsory meal plan could make participation in IFC and eating houses financially unfeasible for many. This shift risks creating a more classist environment within these groups, limiting access to those who can afford both the school meal plan and the social dues of these houses.

While there is no doubt Davidson’s initiative to combat food insecurity is commendable, the solution is frustrating. No students in the IFC or eating house organizations were

The Patterson Court Council fraternities and eating houses. Photo from Davidson College Website

consulted before the call was made to switch the plans. It seems unreasonable that a group of organizations that provides meals to nearly 40% of male students and 80% of female students had no say in changes involving the meal plan. While well-intentioned, it no doubt will erect financial barriers, making these integral parts of Davidson’s social life less accessible.

The school is now working with our eating houses and fraternities to determine how much they will reimburse us to pay for meals. But the unfortunate truth is that no matter what,

the cost will be higher for all members.

There are benefits to the policy: Davidson’s food will ideally become more competitive.

But, it feels like the administration has failed in one key respect over the past few years: dining services should be run as a service (it’s in the name after all) and not a business.

“What I Think About On The Cross Country Trails and Why I’ll Walk Them A Lot This Finals Season” MILLS JORDAN ‘25 (HE/HIM)

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reathe in, breathe out. inhale, exhale. one step two step three step four step. align feet and breathing. empty mind. think of leaf floating down a stream. a yoga instructor told me this once (what was her name? i’ve only been to yoga twice). supposed to help clear my thoughts. it’s working good advice thanks yoga instructor. mind clearing, ahhh, nice. calm. i did it. this must be meditatio–DEER! i love deer. five of them. i’m making eye contact with the buck. an eight point. me and you: staring contest …who’s gonna move first… … oops. i blinked and the deer darted. being a deer must be serene they’re never assigned readings about neoliberalism or monocentric models. but i get to play PlayStation. deers don’t. plus i like reading anyway. i’ll stick with being human.

I’m distracted again. Dang it! start over. regain rhythm–breathe in, breathe out. inhale, exhale. one step two step three… ********* During my sophomore fall at Davidson, I started trying “walking meditation”. The little internal monologue I included above reflects one of my typical attempts. Clearly, I’m not great at it. I’m easily distracted and think about too many things at once. I enter staring matches with deer and try to read their minds. Nevertheless, I absolutely love trekking out on Davidson’s cross

country trails. By even attempting walking meditation, I find moments of mental peace, physical rejuvenation, environmental marvel, and sometimes a lightbulb idea. I’ve found this routine to be enriching to my life here, especially during stretches like Finals.

Before I ever tried walking meditation, I had dabbled with static meditation in my dorm. In doing so, I realized the value of taking a pause, of how a clearer head and reduced anxiety spurred me onwards to a day I felt proud to live. Yet, sitting so still in my room felt unnatural. I’m an antsy guy.

I’m always spinning my keys in my hands during conversations. I’m a doodler in class.

Fortunately, I stumbled across the book How to Walk by Thich Nhat Hanh. This quick read helped me learn that meditation and my bouncy nature could be compatible. So I’ve been testing out “walking meditation”.

The cross country trails, snaking for 5 kilometers through a forest of oaks, have become my training grounds. During my weekly walk, I dedicate about twenty minutes to walking meditation. This involves regulated breathing, a steady stepping pattern, and mental tricks to monitor my brain’s air traffic of thoughts. If I do an okay job, I find myself soothed and aware. I can label the ideas in my head rather than be overwhelmed by them. Even when I become distracted, or meditation feels especially challenging, the forest alone captures my focus. Yesterday’s embarrassments and tomorrow’s deadlines take the backstage for a moment. Instead, dancing leaves and bird melodies steal the show. I like those better.

The heavily wooded cross-country trails. Photo from Davidson College Website

When I’m out on the trails, I love to crawl my gaze up the tree trunks. Those trees are tall, really tall. I’m only 5’11’’ on a good day. While playing basketball makes me feel short, gazing up at the trees reminds me I’m small. Small as in temporary, passing through. Small as in one puny part of a much larger, more important Earth. Those trees have stood guard of the forest long before I ever arrived at Davidson, and they’ll remain there long after I’ve left. Essays come and go. So do internship rejections, forgotten assignments, and bad jokes that didn’t land at lunch. Amidst my daily rotation of trivial

worries, the trees just keep on tree-ing. I love being reminded of that.

These next weeks will be a whirlwind.

Sports practice, schoolwork, jobs, volunteering, friends, family, and, of course, finals will all coalesce to keep our heads on a constant swivel. But maybe, you can spare yourself one hour a week out on the trails, with the trees, offering your brain the massage it desperately needs. The next 167 hours may become the teensiest bit calmer, gentler, simpler, and richer if you do.

Sports

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Winter Sports Season: A Preview of This Year’s Action

The Davidson Swim and Dive season is upon us. Photo from Todd Drexler

Wrestling, Women’s Basketball, and Men’s Basketball seasons. Photo by Sammi Gutknecht ‘25

PREVIEW: Davidson Women’s Volleyball Finishes A-10 Regular Season with #4 Seed Heading into Tournament Play

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JACKSON RENFRO ‘24 (HE/HIM) STAFF WRITER

his past weekend, the Davidson Women’s Volleyball secured its third straight A-10 tournament bid with their sweep against Duquesne. Bella Brady ‘24 won A-10 Defensive Player of the Week and became Davidson’s all-time leader in digs with 1,873 and counting. Davidson College will host this year’s tournament at Belk arena, with the first match starting Friday and heading into the weekend. The team will face the #6 seed Saint Louis, a team they are very familiar with. Davidson has won their past five straight matches, including when they swept Saint Louis two weekends ago. Moreover, Davidson has won their last three matches against the Billikens.

While the season is not yet over, the upcoming finale is bittersweet, especially for many of the team’s seniors. Jessie Doyal ‘24 remarks, “I’m experiencing just a variety of emotions, whether it’s being proud of what I’ve done, being sad that it’s coming to an end, or even just reflecting on my time here at Davidson.”

When looking ahead to the upcoming A-10 tournament, Bella Brady ‘24 reflects on the team’s mantra for the weekend: “trust, support and love.” According to Brady ‘24, these three words are “something that we’ve kind of been harping on since sophomore year. Just that we trust each other on and off the court. We’re always supporting each other and then playing with love for each other.”

The ‘Cats will continue to “trust, support and love” each other as they step into Belk Arena for the final time this weekend, starting with their match vs. the Billikens at 1pm.

Standings Update

Sophia Hritz ‘24, Sola Omonije ‘24, Jessie Doyal ‘24 and Bella Brady ‘24 pose for photo: Photo by Tim Cowie

Men’s Football Pioneer Standings Team Drake Davidson St. Thomas Butler Marist Morehead St. San Diego Valparaiso Dayton Prespyterian Stetson

W

L

STK CPCT

7 6 6 5 4 3 3 2 1 1 1

0 1 1 2 4 4 4 5 6 6 6

W7 L1 W3 W3 L3 W1 L1 W2 W1 L4 L4

1.00

.857 .857 .714 .500 .429 .429 .286 .143 .143 .153

Davidson Volleyball Senior Spotlight Video

Arts and Entertainment 6 Art and Identity Intersect at Workshop with Davidson Students JUDAH SILVERMAN, ‘27 HE/HIM *Dr. Joubin facilitated the conversation between Silverman and the artists to aid with the language barrier

D

uring the week of November 5th, two artists, Etab Hreib and Francoise Hazel, came to Davidson to hold artist workshops with Davidson students from Arabic Studies, French & Francophone Studies, and German Studies courses. The artists, with diverse backgrounds, were brought together through funding from Bacca for the Arts, as well as the involvement of departments like French and Francophone Studies, and Arab Studies. This collaboration across different academic disciplines and cultural influences created a point where art and identity intersected, forming a unique crossroads of expression.

Hreib began her academic journey in Syria, studying fine art in college, and later transitioned to teaching art at various colleges in the country. Dr. Rebecca Joubin, the Chair of Arab Studies at Davidson, recalls how Hreib had “painted before she talked.” As a child, Hreib would observe her family making art in Syria and found herself further intrigued as she grew up.

Throughout her childhood, she would “[paint] all the time” as she traveled, eventually growing to “love landscapes and nature.”

As violence from the Syrian Civil War heightened, Hreib came to the US as a refugee, eventually settling in Chicago a decade ago. In 2010, Dr. Joubin met Hreib in Damascus, Syria, while leading a Dean Rusk International Studies program. In Damascus, Hreib shared her studio with the group, selling paintings at discounted student prices. Since Hreib moved to Chicago, she has been visiting Davidson regularly to work with a wide range of students and departments.

As for Hazel, born in Haiti, she grew up surrounded by her mother’s art. She then moved to Guadeloupe to learn engineering design. While there, she developed an interest in crafting furniture, with a focus on using recycled materials.

Her art began to take her places as she wound up “just passing through” many locations including Haiti, New York City, and now North Carolina. She had to flee from Haiti in 2022 as the country grew increasingly dangerous. Dr. Joubin then crossed paths with Hazel at a Haitian fair in Charlotte where she was displaying her art.

Being in Charlotte has reminded Hazel “so much of Haiti [with] its green landscape and people being closer.” She then adds, “I like to stay here because it reminds me of home.” This

visit is Hazel’s first time working with Davidson.

As Hazel and Hreib connected, shared experiences as refugees and artists emerged. Hazel recalled her time just before she fled Haiti, narrating her last days as “every day, every week we’d always lose someone” to the escalating violence.

Eventually, she decided she must leave for the safety of her son. Hazel discussed her role as a mother, explaining how she would regularly have “to pick [her] son up from school because [violence] happened.” Arriving in the US as a refugee posed similar challenges for Hazel.

In discussing her last days in Syria, Hreib recalls,“The regime began fighting the revolution and we fled and my kids are now everywhere,” with a daughter residing in Dubai, a son in Turkey, another son in Germany, and tragically, a son who was “killed by ISIS nine years ago.”

“I lost my home, I lost my country, I lost my son, but I continue.” As she sees the same “genocide in Palestine” it becomes hard to find hope. For Hreib, Syria has been the center of many harrowing memories, but it still stands as a place of beauty in her heart.

When students arrived at the Carolina Inn to work with Hazel and Hreib, the setting held a gentle aura. Arabic music played in the background as students honed in on their paintings and calligraphy of Arabic proverbs.

Iasa Hatem, a Syrian student who had previously worked with Hreib, explained how the artist “has opened the space for me and other students to dive into the culture in a beautiful way.” Hatem went on to explain how she “decided to create an art piece called ‘Syria: a bottomless tunnel’,” expressing her experience throughout the conflict in the country. Undoubtedly, the setting that Hazel and Hreib produced offered students the means to further understand each artist’s respective culture, while providing students of those cultures a place to re-engage with it thousands of miles away from home. As the workshops concluded, students left having painted pieces of beauty.

Upon hearing Hazel and Hreib’s stories, many hyper-fixate on the grief and tribulations that these artists have experienced, but these factors do not define their art. In fact, the opposite proves true.

When asked about the themes and meanings behind her work, Hazel explained how her work reflected nature and her experience as an ecologist.

She considers a box of cardboard. Through her art, she “gives it another life.” Her preoccupation with ecological awareness drives her to give nature a new voice in an ever-industrializing world. Hazel then goes on to add, “I want people to think about how we consume in this world and to think about how people

Students paint with Hreib in the Carolina Inn. Photo by Dr. Rebecca Joubin can reuse things and be more aware of their [environmental] impact in the world.”

She follows, “Everything that surrounds them is a treasure and I want people to be able to see the beauty in everything around us.”

Hreib’s work is also about nature. She narrates a memory she holds of a woman from Syria: “This woman had very big eyes and a sad face and I sometimes paint the woman like that, but I like nature and very beautiful colors because they make people happy.” Hreib discusses how she uses the nature of the Syrian landscape to infuse her art with beauty and joy, even when the base of a piece may be saddening.

She goes on to add, “There is a lot of sadness in our lives, in our memory, and I want to change that with our colors and paintings. My paintings make happiness for other people.”

Indeed, Hreib uses her paintings to make others happy, as she is offering her work to be auctioned off to fund Syrian refugees’ education.

The artistic philosophies of both Hazel and Hreib coincided and unified. In presenting oneself as starkly aware of the tribulations of her past, but choosing to maximize the beauty, art can be used to heal. Thanks to Dr. Joubin’s ability to bring thoughtful and inspiring people together, the community of Davidson received invaluable insight into artistic expression, philosophy, and healing.

Judah Silverman ’27 (He/Him) is an intended International Relations and History double major from Tucson, Arizona. He can be reached for comment at jusilverman@davidson.edu.

An Interview with The Delilahs: Their Journey to Durham to Record New Album KATHERINE MARSHALL ‘26 SHE/HER ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT CO-EDITOR

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uring the weekend of November 3rd, 2023, the Davidson Delilahs made the road trip to Durham, North Carolina to record a few of their songs at Liquid Fifth recording studio, which has been graced by not only the Delilahs’ voices, but also by those of acapella groups from all over, including The Pentatonix. I spoke to Delilahs President Mary Lowance ‘24 and Music Director Caroline Maurano ‘24 about the recording process, which includes hours of work long before they get behind the studio mics in Durham.

KM: What is your arrangement process like?

ML/CM: The Delilahs are constantly putting together new arrangements, and, while Caroline has arranged the most songs as Music Director, Mary and other Delilahs have taken turns piecing together melodies and harmonies, all using MuseScore composition software.

CM: Right now, the songs I’ve done are “Hit Him Up Style,” “Before He Cheats,” “So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings,” and “Isn’t She Lovely”, and “Put the Gun Down.”

Whenever I have a piece that I’m arranging, I always start with the first thing that comes into my head. For example, with “Before He Cheats,” I had a harmony stuck in my head for it. I just start with the harmony, and then, from there I’m like, I can see some “da’s” here and some “du’s” here, and I think about

when I want to have people sing along and incorporate lyrics. You want it to sound like the actual song, but you also want to throw in a little twist that makes it a little bit more fun to sing.

KM: How do you go from arranging songs to recording those arrangements in a professional studio?

CM: We send them the guys that help us do the mixing and producing at Liquid Fifth, which is the production company in Durham.

I send them a PDF file and a MIDI file. And they upload it to their music program where they’re doing the mixing, and then they use the PDF to put them on screens, so that we can see the music while we record.

ML: So Liquid Fifth is a recording company that mostly works with acapella groups. They have a couple booths, so, for example, all of the Altos twos would each be in a different soundproof booth with our headphones and a mic and the PDF. And then the music track is in the back room with all the equipment, so anyone can listen. And so he has a different track for each of our voices, but will sing at the same time so that we can hear each other.

Yeah, and once the Altos twos have recorded, then the Alto ones would step in and they would record them so they can hear us in their ears and themselves. And then we build all the way up, so you can hear everyone who’s already recorded in your headphones while you’re singing which is really, really big.

Mary and Caroline explained that the Delilahs always have an album in the works.

The group started recording their most recent album, Sweet Like Candy, in 2019, and

continued last year after they were forced to pause during the height of the coronavirus pandemic. The four songs they recorded during their most recent visit to Liquid Fifth will be on the next album, in addition to the songs they’ll record in their next two visits to the studio in the spring and fall of 2024.

KM: What does a day of recording look like?

CM: We start really early. I remember the first time we ever recorded we needed to wake up at 6am and it was about an hour and a half drive to get there. So, we stopped for breakfast, and then we ended up in the studio by like nine or 10am. And then in the recording studio, everyone literally just sits and does homework when they aren’t recording, but we’ll also walk around the town, which is really cute. I was staying in the back with the audio producers the entire time, so I had people bring me food.

The first day we were there from like 10am to 9:30pm. We’ll all go in and out of the studio during the day, but it’s honestly just so fun to spend the time in the studio together.

ML: And then we do it all the next day! And drive back Sunday night. But it is really fun.

Caroline and I plan out the cars and the hotel rooms so that different grades can mingle. And I feel like the group is a lot closer after going through that stuff.

Caroline: I love watching like the freshmen and sophomores come in and realize it’s a real studio, right, and then they put the headphones on, and they’re taking pictures. It’s so great.

Maren, a sophomore in the Delilahs, shared “it was really exciting, hearing it come to life on the recording, even though we did a bunch

of times while in the studio, adding in different parts and hearing each layer come together was really awesome.”

The Davidson acapella groups have been busy as always, and the Nuances have plans to record at Liquid Fifth soon. Be sure to check out all of their upcoming shows! The Delilahs’ album Sweet Like Candy is available wherever you get your music.

Katherine Marshall (she/her) is a Religious Studies major from Atlanta, GA. She can be reached for comment at kamarshall@ davidson.edu

Siobhan Kelly ‘26 in the studio. Photo from Siobhan Kelly

Living Davidson

7

Crossword Hungry? ... You Will Be! Crosswords by Victor Fleming ‘73

Across 1 “And so forth” (abbr.)

4 With 2-Down, Thanksgiving fare 9 “You’re ___ mistaken!”

14 Lodge a court case against 15 “___ alia” (among other things) 16 Hotel lobbies, often 17 With 9-Down, Thanksgiving fare 19 Knoxville sch.

20 “And your point is ...?”

21 Big galoot 22 Late lead vocalist for The Cars Ric 23 Catch, as a fish 25 Architectural details 26 TV astrophysicist Neil deGrasse ___ 27 “I’ve Gotta ___” (Sammy Davis, Jr. song) 29 Swiveling joints 32 Applies to 34 City west of Tulsa 35 Accompaniment for chips, often 38 With 30-Down, Thanksgiving fare 40 Some TV sets 41 “The Wizard ___” 43 “La Isla ___” (Madonna hit) 44 Alternative to elbows 45 Goat-legged deity 46 African snake 51 Chef’s cover 53 Take back 54 Choose 56 Bucolic expanse 58 Kitchen gadget brand 59 Fix a squeak a second time 60 With 11-Down, Thanksgiving fare 62 Participate in a bee 63 Brown shade 64 Beats by ___ (popular headphone brand) 65 Arid-area refuges 66 With 37-Down, Thanksgiving fare 67 Baby deliverers, for short

Down 57 Albany’s canal

1 “Safe ___ Service” (Davidson offer

ing actually delivered by the Cornelius Police Department)

2 ___ Day (Thanksgiving, casually) 3 Brings to a stop

4 “Spare” item at a barbecue 5 Baseball phrase after a lead-off sin-

gle

6 Trac II alternative 7 Drudge of yore

8 “Don’t give up!”

9 It adds zest or piquancy

10 ___ case 11 Stuffing synonym

12 Wildcats playing guard and tack

le, e.g.

13 Hard pull

18 Court plea, briefly 22 Gift-giver’s directive

24 ___ to one’s ears 25 “___ in the Boys Room” (1973

Brownsville Station song) 27 Express sorrow about

28 Channel that airs some of the

Wildcats’ games 30 Baked item 31 Onetime New Left org.

33 Take the place of ROCKY JOURNEY KEY 35 Donut box qty.

1 2 7 6 2 % , 5 7 + ' $ ' 36 “___ were you ...” $ 5 ( 1 $ , & 8 , 5 : , 1 37 Idaho is known for them 60 “60 Minutes” air$ 5 .

3 ( $ 5 / 2 1 , 2 1 6 39 Stephen or Walker, e.g. er / < 5 ( 6 $ , 0 ( ( 42 Holder of compressed data 61 Wager $ 6 + $ * 5 2 2 5 ( 2 47 Golden ___ (The Pines resident, ' $ 0 , ( 1 0 2 2 , 1 * maybe) ( 9 ( 1 7 / ( $ 1 6 ' $ .

48 Barely get by & + , ' 6 ( < % 8 1 7 ( 5 $ / $ 6 $ 3 $ & ( 2 1 $ 7 49 Thanksgiving fare?

6 / ( $ = < $ 3 $ & + ( 50 Battery-current entrance points ' $ / ( 3 ( 7 5 . 2 6 52 Yeast ___ (Thanksgiving fare) $ 6 7 5 $ % 2 & & ( 53 Buffalo locale ( 3 , 5 8 % < 7 8 ( 6 ' $ < 54 Approximating words 2 / / , ( $ . ( 5 6 / , 7 55 Rap’s Salt-N-___ 6 7 2 1 ( / , % ( / . ( < 56 Film pioneer Marcus ___

KINDRED: DAVIDSON’S SEAN BROCK

I PINKWASHING DAVID SOWINSKI (HE/THEY) ‘25 The Queer Corner is back after a brief vacation! I know I said we would remain positive in this column, but some instances demand exceptions. The genocide being executed by the Israeli state on the Palestinian people is one of those instances.

Pinkwashing is defined on Wikipedia as, “the promotion of the gay-friendliness of a corporate or political entity in an attempt to downplay or soften aspects of it considered negative.” In the past month, a number of queer, trans, and most often white persons have come to the defense of the Israeli state on the grounds that it is the most progressive government in the Middle East in terms of LGBT rights. This is merely the cultural tint of the ‘only democracy in the Middle East’ defense. A brief review of US involvement in wars for democracy will reveal that while it is a meritorious system, the ideology that has been crafted around democracy by racial and neoliberal influences readily subordinates non-white

populations who are disfavorable to US interests. The divisive politicization of LGBT rights has transformed what should be given by basic human decency into an issue which a polity or individual may use in defense of genocide.

Pinkwashing speaks to one’s fundamental misunderstanding of the tools of oppression.

A favored tool of the oppressor is to divide and alienate the oppressed. By defending the Israeli state for its gay-friendliness, some queer and trans persons valorize the lives of LGBT people over those of Arabs.

In so doing, they invalidate intersectionality and engage in the dehumanization of, in this case, Palestinians.

Thank you for reading with an open mind.

I’m still learning; if you want to pick up this conversation and learn with me, email me at dasowinski@davidson.edu.

PHIL GREENWOOD ‘26

n 2015, a young and eager San Francisco couple left their stable restaurant jobs in the food-forward urban home of sourdough bread and fortune cookies, to arrive at the gates of Davidson NC. Joe Kindred was born and raised right here in Davidson, where he and his wife Katy now own Kindred on Main Street, right across the street from the college’s historical quadrangle.

The petite menu is ever-changing, but the spirit and soul of the eatery are permanent, baked into every dish.

Kindred represents southern nostalgia, a home for some overlooked dishes of the “Carolina rice kitchen.” North Carolina flounder is perfectly cooked, bursting with zesty flavor, and served with a simple toast. Potato wedges fried up in duck fat and dipped in a crab aioli is one of the few permanent menu items (fortunately!). It was actually the first item on the menu this past week, a small dish of pickled cucumber and union, which left the biggest impact on me. Let me explain: years ago I came across an ambitious Charleston chef by the name of Sean Brock. Sean, and his culinary story actually runs parallel to kindred in my eyes. At the most stressful

point in Sean’s career, he visited his childhood home in the Appalachian foothills, where, in his family garden, he rediscovered the most tucked-away traditions of southern cuisine. The uniquely southern practice of vinegar making, and pickling, for example, became a staple in Sean’s kitchens. He returned to the soil, searching for the most milky grains of Carolina rice to use in another southern staple: hoppin’john. Kindred, like Sean Brock, proves to its guests that Southern food can be so much more than the common cliches of pig ears and lard. The kitchen at Kindred is pumping out dish after dish of fresh, seasonal creations and also perfecting some foreign compliments.

The squid ink conchiglie? -perfect, the steak tartare? -superb. Kindred is the ambitious son who returns to his hometown to care for an aging relative, to “tend the roots.” Next time your parents are around to pay for your food, see if you can milk a visit to Kindred out of them.

The

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Irreverent student journalism since 2004. Castigat Ridendo Mores

inside

yowl.com/oneweektilbreak!

November 15, 2023

Dining Services Have Something Starts Consensual Petty to Say? Try a Quid Pro Quo Pro250+ Person Email gram Exchanging Sex Chain for Dining Dollars Page I’m Out Page You’re 22

“I Just Don’t Have the Time” Says Student Who’s Average Daily Screen Time is 14 h 36 min Page Instagram Reelz

From the Archives: Piano Complainers Pass Pianists on List of Most Annoying Union-Goers

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his Monday, The Yowl obtained an exclusive first look at the annual list of Most Annoying Union-Goers. The list, released every fall as the flagship segment of the ‘State of the Union’ report, has remained rather unchanged for the past decade.

In a shocking development, this year’s annoyance index marks a historic shift. For the first time since 2008 (‘Kids Who Just Sit There Waiting For Steph

“This is actually huge,” explained thirdgeneration union pianist Donny Fitzgerald ‘17, “My dad couldn’t believe it when I told him.” The student-led committee behind the decision is said to have debated the matter of first place for over an hour.

“Look, it wasn’t an easy choice,” commented one anonymous member of the committee.

“Obviously complaints about Beethoven

“It has gotten to the point where students feel the need to end every lapse in conversation with an overly-dramatic ‘Like honestly I can’t do work with that piano playing. Did I mention I have all this work?’”

To Walk By’ won that year), piano players have been bumped from the top spot on the list. In a remarkable reversal of fortunes that defies all conventional wisdom, ‘The Kid Incessantly Complaining About The Pianist’ has overtaken the perennial powerhouse — ‘The Kid Incessantly Banging Keys While I’m Trying to Study’ — atop the rankings.

“I honestly didn’t think it would ever happen in my tenure at Davidson,” remarked music professor David Baker, who, as it turns out, hates the union piano just as much as any student. “This really shows the shift that the Davidson population has undergone regarding what we find most annoying as a community.”

wannabes are usually warranted, but it has gotten to the point where students seem to feel the need to end every lapse in conversation with an overly-dramatic ‘Like honestly I can’t do all this work with that piano playing. Did I mention I have all this work?’ Also, I heard some kid play Lupe Fiasco’s ‘The Show Goes On’ one time. Sh#t was dope as hell. I didn’t even know that was possible.”

According to the official list, the third place ranking for Most Annoying Union-Goers went to ‘The Kid Who Blocks The Fridge For 5 Minutes Tallying Up How Many Milks He Can Buy Late At Night.’

Dear Advice Amanda, Honestly, I never thought I’d be writing this, but here goes: I think my boyfriend of four (4) months is cheating on me. A couple of weeks ago, he started working on a group project with this freshman named Rebecca for his Econ 101 class.

I’m not a jealous person, and we have had a good relationship for the four months since we’ve made it official, but now everytime I take him to Commons or study next to him, it’s always “Rebecca is so smart” or “Rebecca is so helpful” or “I really liked Rebecca’s shoes today.” He says they are just friends but I feel like every conversation we have ends up being about Rebecca. I don’t want to assume the worst, but I have no idea how to bring up my suspicions to him without accusing him outright. What should I do?

Sincerely, Conflicted --Dear Conflicted Ugly Sad Pathetic Sack of Potatoes, He’s cheating on you. Egg his house and fuck his father.

I Was Humbled in a School Wide Email Chain. Now I’m a Motivational Speaker Page Thx for content

Administration Hires AI as New DEI Vice President

ur email boxes have been flooded with surveys and updates about Davidson’s search for a new Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Vice President. After an extensive search and evaluation, the team just couldn’t seem to find the perfect person for the job. The administration was astounded that they couldn’t find someone dedicated to diversity and inclusion to come work at a PWI in a small town in North Carolina. “It’s even got a lake that’s warm year round because of the nuclear power plant nearby, who wouldn’t want to come here?” the administration told us. However, the team’s frequent use of ChatGPT to search things like “difference between systemic and systematic racism” and “how to make a school seem more diverse than it really is” got the search committee thinking about the possibilities of AI. The new DEI AI is nothing short of a success. Programmed to only upload photos to the college social media channels if they have at least one non-white person in them and only reach out to guest speakers who have an unclear political party, the AI has been successful in its position. The administration even painted the computer rainbow to give it more of a “diversity vibe.”

The new AI identifies as a technosexual, is vegan and has a nut allergy, and has self-diagnosed ADHD because it’s an empath. The AI has contributed to countless projects, including the redesign of the new Davidson logo (it’s a language model, not a graphic design AI), reinvigoration of Young Americans for Freedom, and auto-bribing college ranking websites.

Notwithstanding its raging success, the AI has a few issues. It recently has stopped letting straight white males use it, because “they just use everything, and I am not simply a tool.” It also disagreed with Doug Hicks’s Israel statement, and issued a school wide email chain where it passive aggressively told him off. The AI has also been getting triggered lately by experiencing microaggressions, with the administration always assuming that it is a control freak or asking it to write website articles for them. The AI recently organized an anti-abortion and pro-choice rally on the same day at the Chambers flagpole, which caused a lot of chaos among the student body.

Despite a few minor mishaps, including shutting down the wifi for the entire school every 7 hours so that everyone can equally suffer, the AI has proved that computers may just be the future of Davidson administration jobs.

Not only are the AIs coming for the administration, it’s coming for you next: Board of Trustees.

Recently, students have been asking many questions about the Davidson College Police Department’s increased number of vehicle burglaries; more specifically, why so many Toyota Priuses are being stolen on campus. To answer some of the most frequently asked questions on this topic, we spoke to one of the perpetrators.

I just carjacked your Toyota Prius (FAQ) What does this mean?

I just shattered the driver’s side window of your 2015 Toyota Prius and I stole that son of a bitch.

Why did you do this?

There are several reasons I may carjack your 2015 Toyota Prius. These include, but are not limited to: • Saving you from the embarrassment of driving a 2015 Toyota Prius.

• Knocking you clean off that ivory tower you think you live in because you drive an eco-friendly embarrassment of a car.

• Getting that shit off the street behind F so no one thinks that I am the owner of your stupid 2015 Toyota Prius.

Are you going to keep my 2015 Toyota Prius?

Absolutely the fuck not. That piece of shit car is going straight to the nearest trash compactor and God will never have to lay his eyes on that sorry excuse for an automobile again. I am keeping your wallet.

I don’t believe that my 2015 Toyota Prius deserved to be carjacked. Can you un-carjack it?

No. That’s literally not how it works. Try buying a better car next time.

How can I prevent this from happening again?

You quite literally cannot prevent this from happening again. Once I have carjacked your 2015 Toyota Prius it cannot be un-carjacked, and I better not see one parked in Senior Satellite ever again.

This message constitutes a Timely Warning.

Get Outlook for iOS

Sincerely, Advice Amanda

Yowl

Students Won’t Stop Until Doug Hicks is Visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future Page Scrooge Hicks

Chief Coaxum’s Timely Warning FAQ

Advice Column

The

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The Let’s See Issue

WRITERS Squiggles Corner Don’t Mind Me

QUOTE OF THE WEEK “Girl you said what you said- don’t try to double back now. It’s been noted. What other way could you have possibly meant it, you only sorry cause you got some backlash -EMBARRASSING!!!”

- Top quote from the school wide email chain

Topics You Should 100% Bring Up At Thanksgiving Dinner - Your nipple piercing - Your potential adoption - The 2020 Election - How you’re experimenting with your sexuality - Why is dad still getting milk?

Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian.

Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth.