davidsonian.com
March 29, 2023
Volume 121,
Issue 17
An anonymous Perspectives article explores the problems with DCI
Sahana Athreya ‘25 interviews Chorale members about tribute to Matthew Shepard
The Yowl investigates student crimes on Davidson’s campus
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Gruber emphasized what he referred to as the simplistic, shallow nature of college ranking systems — especially the U.S. News and World Report rankings.
When high school students enter the college application process, they often begin their research by looking at lists of college rankings. However, these lists fail to reflect the complete college experience and can even drive colleges to fake their information; these shortcomings hurt colleges’ integrity and make it difficult for applicants to find a fitting school.
Davidson’s Vice President and Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid Chris Gruber sees problems with the lack of depth in college ranking systems.
“College rankings are not perfect,” Gruber said. “By their nature, they can only partially reflect the qualities that make the experience of higher education so distinctive and so valuable.”
Rankings separate national universities from liberal arts colleges and use an institution’s academic reputation, student outcome, financial and family resources, and alumni donations to gauge the quality of the school. Rankings tend to reflect schools’ wealth and reputation, which overlooks students’ experiences and deemphasizes fit.
According to Davidson’s Office of Planning and Institutional Research, some publications — like The Washington Monthly and The Wall Street Journal — favor large institutions over small liberal arts colleges like Davidson due to their greater focus on research.
“[These rankings] attempt to present a complex set of factors and necessarily end up oversimplifying these data points,” Gruber said.
Ranking systems also create competition between schools and drive some schools to fake their qualifications. Columbia withdrew from the U.S. News and World Report occurred after one of their own math professors questioned the legitimacy of the data that the university had submitted to ranking systems.
The New York Times reported that Emory University, Claremont McKenna College, and other schools have also submitted inaccurate data to rankings systems.
Davidson is now ranked fifteenth on the liberal arts college list for the U.S. News and World Report, however, it was a top ten liberal arts college when the class of 2023 applied. According to The Atlantic, rankings heavily influence students’ college admissions processes.
Despite this drop, Rojina Kheimendooz ‘23 believes that applicants should look beyond the numbers.
“I think a school only works if it fits you and a number doesn’t represent that,” Kheimendooz said.
Taylor McGibbon ‘26 also reflected on her college application process. Though Davidson’s ranking had dropped slightly by the time she applied, she still felt that its
relative prestige was important.
“[Davidson’s ranking] was certainly not the end-all-be-all for my decision, but I knew how the ranking of a school could affect my postgrad opportunities and alumni connections,” McGibbon said.
While Gruber believes that college rankings provide imperfect information, he recognizes their merit.
He commented that, as long as publications explain their methodology and offer a “detailed presentation of the rankings,” they
“[enable] students and families to compare dimensions that are important to them.”
For instance, students can examine schools’ class sizes, levels of faculty interaction, and degree of academic challenge.
“[That information] makes those rankings useful to prospective Davidson students,” Gruber said.
Colleges themselves are beginning to
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Flickerball, popsicle-eating contests, and Nummit Trivia. This past week, the PCC Week tradition offered multiple events for students to enjoy. While attendance did not reach pre-pandemic levels, many leaders within Patterson Court Council (PCC) felt this year’s events signaled a step towards greater unity and engagement of members.
“Our goal is to foster relationships between organizations that hopefully carry over into actually working together on things that PCC is not directly overseeing,” said InterFraternity Council Ambassador Micheal Callahan ‘24. “Even if the pure numbers haven’t been completely astounding, people have been coming out.”
After a rainout on Friday, Mar.17, PCC Week was delayed and instead began on Saturday, Mar. 18. The Old Tennis Court Lawn was filled with games and food, and there were games ranging from cornhole to capture the flag.
The night of Mar. 21, PCC hosted a popular “PCC Got Talent” event, modeled after the game show “America’s Got Talent.”
Mike Liu ‘26 is a new member of Kappa
Sigma and participated in “PCC Got Talent”.
“The PCC Got Talent event was definitely the highlight of the week for me,” Liu said. “We teamed up with Turner to recreate the Treblemakers’ performance in Pitch Perfect. Even though we didn’t win, it was super fun to be out there to compete with the other PCC organizations.”
When participating in PCC Week competitions, members were sorted into cross-organization teams. Allie Hay ‘24, the PCC Programming Chair, designed most of the teams and events for PCC Week this year. For Hay, the team structure is critical to the success of PCC Week.
“The purpose of PCC Week is to promote PCC unity around the houses and to get the branches to meet people they wouldn’t meet,” Hay said. “That’s why we introduced teams.”
The Blue Team, consisting of Connor Eating House, Kappa Sigma, Phi Gamma Delta, and the Lambda Pi Chis, won the most events this year. In particular, the Lambda Pi Chis, a Multicultural Greek Council (MGC) sorority, stole the show with their 100% participation rate.
Joselin Serpas, a member of the Lambda Pi Chis and the MGC Ambassador, appreciated her organization’s showing at PCC Week.
“I love our bond and hermandad,” Serpas said. “We try to put the love for Ltinx culture
into everything we do, even if it’s something fun and silly like PCC Got Talent. We still had to represent somehow!”
“I think we had almost 100% from the MGCs, which I was really happy about,” Hay said. “The eating house attendance was pretty low this year, but the fraternity and National Pan-Hellenic Council turnout was also pretty good.”
This year, PCC Week did coincide with the big-little reveal tradition across the eating houses. Harrison Grooms ‘25, runs on the track team and is a member of Rusk Eating House. She did not participate in PCC Week.
“I learned about PCC Week from Allie Hay, who did a great job promoting the events,” Grooms said. “I really wanted to attend them, but I had to focus on prioritizing my other athletic and academic responsibilities. It was also our big-little week, so I was very busy with that as well.”
Callahan, Hay, and President of PCC Sadie Murphy ‘23, see communication as a major barrier to participation.
“Getting the word out was a little difficult because there’s no way to reach out to all PCC members at once,” Hay said.
Communication goes first through organizations’ presidents, who then are expected to disseminate information to the rest of the members. For Murphy, “reaching out
more to individual members is a goal.” While PCC does not currently have a mechanism for communicating events to individual members, events can be promoted to members through social media and posters to take communication pressures off of organizations’ executive boards.
Looking ahead to next year, plans are already being shaped for PCC Week 2024. “One big thing that we’ve talked about is going crazy on advertising,” Callahan said.
Emily Eisenstadt, the Assistant Director for Programs at Union, works with PCC E-Board and eating houses.
“I hope to generate more hype for PCC Week a lot further in advance,” Eisenstadt said.
Overall, many of the student and staff leaders who planned PCC Week this year view the events as a success.
“It’s fun to watch students have an idea and to help them bring it to life,” Eisenstadt said.
Callahan found PCC Week to be another way for fraternities to realize the value of cooperating instead of competing.
“I hope we realize that we’re all part of the same Council, and at the end of the day, our organizations are a big piece to the already limited Davidson social scene,” Callahan said. “Having them work together has always been a goal of mine.”
Late last year, Benjamin Netanyahu was elected to his sixth term as Israel’s prime minister. Netanyahu, a member of the Likud party, formed a coalition with other right-wing parties to create his new government. This coalition government is the most right-wing in Israel’s history.
One of the coalition’s key goals is to overhaul the judicial system. On Mar. 27 Netanyahu announced that the vote on the overhaul of the judiciary will be postponed until April after the Knesset returns from recess. The announcement follows months of protest in Israel.
Proponents of the reforms say that the changes will take away power from unelected bureaucrats and return power to leaders that were chosen by the people. Netanyahu and his government claim that the Supreme Court is an elitist group that does not accurately represent Israeli citizens. Critics fear that the reforms would give unchecked power to the government, remove protections for minorities, and protect Netanyahu from corruption charges he is facing.
A key part of the reforms include changing the process to appoint judges. Currently, judges are appointed by a ninemember committee made up of legal professionals and politicians. The proposed reforms would take away the legal professional majority on the committee, giving politicians complete control over the judicial appointee process. The ruling coalition also hopes to reduce the power of the country’s Supreme Court by restricting its ability to strike down laws it deems unconstitutional. A new bill proposes that the Knesset should be able to override a Supreme Court decision with a simple majority. Israel does not have a formal
constitution and has only one house of Parliament so the judiciary is the main check on government powers. Critics fear that reforms such as these will leave the country to tyranny of majority rule.
The country is experiencing the largest protests in its history as citizens fight back against attacks on an independent judiciary. Last week, protesters restricted road access to the Tel Aviv airport before Netanyahu flew to Italy.
The protests have also spread to Israel’s military. Soldiers in the military’s reserves have sent letters expressing unwillingness to participate in nonessential duties and others have pulled out of training.
In a speech, reported on by the Times of Israel, Defense Minister, Yoav Gallant, spoke out against judicial reforms saying that they have caused a rift in society that has led to, “a clear and immediate and tangible danger to the security of the state. I will not lend my hand to this.” Gallant was fired by Netanyahu the next day.
The protests are unprecedented, but will they be enough to stop judicial reforms? Dr. Silvi Toska of the Political Science Department, believes that there may be a way.
“The combination of the protests and pressure from European and, surprisingly, the U.S. government puts Netanyahu’s government in a tough spot,” Dr. Toska said. “It can’t ignore criticism from all sides. So, yes, protests can hopefully halt the reform package. For protesting Israelis it is their democracy that is at stake, and they won’t easily back down. I also don’t see Netanyahu’s government completely backing down, but may have to soften their proposals.”
Amidst the protests and unrest, Davidson students visited the country over spring break as a part of the history class, The Crusades, Then and Now, taught by Dr. Jakub Kabala and Dr. Jonathan Berkey. Despite frequent demonstrations and turmoil, the Office of Study Abroad and professors felt the trip
would be safe.
“The Office of Study Abroad follows the latest recommendations from the State Department, which did not warn against travel to Israel and the West Bank,” Dr. Toksa said. “Additionally, they do rely on our expertise to make that assessment. I was in constant touch with my Israeli and Palestinian colleagues, and Drs. Berkey and Kabala with the travel agency, to make sure that we would not run into any trouble.”
The class visited Nazareth, Bethelehelm, Jerusalem, Acre, and other cities to get first-hand exposure to the sites of the Crusades. Students gave presentations on sites that they studied in class and had the opportunity to visit the Jordan River, Dome of the Rock, Church of the Holy Sepulcher, Mount of Olives, and the Western Wall.
The professors on the trip addressed the political state of the country. Alex French ‘25, a student who attended the Crusades trip, discussed what he learned from Dr. Toska specifically.
“Regarding the current political situation this is what I remember: More extremist groups have granted the Prime Minister a majority control, but this requires him to heed their more extreme POVs,” French said. “She did mention how the president was planning to rewrite the judiciary. Interestingly, she commented how the modern generation [ages 18 through 26] were way more conservative than their parents.”
In relation to the proposed judiciary overhaul, the students remained relatively sheltered from the political tensions.
“I did not really see anything regarding the new protests, but it is all connected,” French said. “I’m sure as an ignorant American student, who neither spoke Arabic or Hebrew, I missed a lot going through touristy spaces.”
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deprioritize ranking lists. According to the New York Times, Harvard, Berkeley, Georgetown, Columbia, Stanford, Michigan, and Yale law schools also stopped participating in the U.S. News and World Report rankings in 2022. While Davidson still participates in these ranking systems, this shifting paradigm means that the college must look beyond its rankings when promoting itself.
“The Admission and Financial Aid Team employs a host of strategies to help students and families understand what the rankings do not capture,” said Director of Media Relations Jay Pfeifer. “[These approaches include] traditional and digital marketing, partnerships with community-based organizations, hundreds of in-person and virtual meetings across the country and a year-round schedule of on-campus and virtual programming for prospective students.”
The college embraces technology to connect with prospective students through the
My Davidson blog and Davidson social media accounts.
“The college’s website and other digital platforms are focused on sharing stories about the rich education experience that is available to Davidson students,” Pfeifer said. “[The college hopes to] elevate student voices to offer an authentic, first-hand look at life on campus.”
Davidson’s Admissions Office also provides guidance on how students can interpret ranking systems. The college provides an alphabetical list of popular rankings on its website and it also offers descriptions of these publications’ strengths, weaknesses, and methodologies. This data allows students to engage critically with college rankings instead of embracing them wholesale — a crucial part of being an informed applicant.
“No ranking can possibly convey the character of any school, especially one like Davidson that is defined by our shared sense of community,” Pfeifer said.
All seats in the VAC auditorium were filled. Some knelt in the back, while others stood in the doorways trying their best to hear senior diplomat Greg Delawie speak about his work.
Delawie graduated from Harvard University as an economics major. From mid-2015 to mid-2018 he served as the US Ambassador to Kosovo. In this role, he directed an embassy and used public campaigns to promote American objectives and prevent ethnic violence in countries still recovering from the Balkans War. He now works as an adjunct professor at George Mason University where he teaches a course in diplomacy.
Associate Professor of Political Science Dr. Besir Ceka facilitated the talk.
“We discuss our country’s promotion of democracy and the rule of law in many of our courses in political science, and it was particularly helpful to hear Delawie articulate the reasons for why it’s in America’s interest to foster them abroad,” Ceka said. “We rarely have speakers that focus specifically on the Balkans, so Delawie’s extensive experience of serving in this region was particularly welcome.”
Parker Nunn ‘26 is in Ceka’s international relations class.
“I wanted to learn more about Delawie’s work because it focuses on topics not normally covered in the news,” he said.
In his talk, Delawie discussed both the freedom and corruption of each country in the “Western Balkan Six.” This is a term he coined for the six countries—Serbia, Kosovo, Bosnia, Albania, Montenegro, and North
Macedonia—that want to join the European Union (E.U.).
He frequently named two organizations, Transparency International and Freedom House, that rank and compare each country based on their corruption and freedom levels.
Transparency International uses a “corruption perceptions index” (CPI) that scores countries from 1 to 100, 1 being the most corrupt and 100 being the least. Denmark is the least corrupt with a score of 90, and Somalia is the most at 12. Corruption can be considered anything from bribery and red tape to nepotism, which Delawie mentions is very common in Bosnia.
“The best way to get a job in Bosnia is through nepotism,” Delawie said.
Freedom House, on the other hand, ranks countries in three categories: not free, partly free, and free. They determine these scores by looking at political rights and civil liberties. The Western Balkan Six all fall in the partly free category.
“Countries with low levels of democracy typically have high levels of corruption, and vice versa” Delawie said.
During Delawie’s presentation, he displayed line graphs of each ranking, and pinpointed certain trends.
“Serbia has declined in its democracy scoring by 20% since 2017, so that’s not great… these changes are broadly consistent with political developments in these countries,” Delawie said. “In Serbia, the government has adopted an increasingly authoritarian stance over the last couple of years. Protests and the media have become dominated by the governing party.”
Delawie added that Serbia saw the largest decline in its corruption score, meaning it
increased in its “perception of corruption”.
He also touched on the impact the perception of corruption has in Bosnia.
“Bosnia is among one of the five poorest countries in Europe,” Delawie said. “The national government is paying to teach students medicine to practice in the richest country: Germany. Why? Because of the corruption in Bosnia.”
Delawie then shifted his presentation to discuss potential solutions for improving the futures of western Balkan countries. He discussed a range of suggestions from building civil society and supporting independent prosecutors to protecting whistleblowers, and the importance of focusing on results.
“Grade outcomes, not outputs,” Delawie
said. “Too many projects are judged by the amount of money put into solving the problem, rather than what the results of that money is.”
Delawie also emphasized the joint power of the U.S. and the E.U. to support and encourage change within the West Balkan Six.
“Rather than say what the U.S. should do, or what the E.U. should do, since both have power in making changes, I will just say ‘we’ and you can imagine whoever you want as being ‘we’,” Delawie said.
He continued to emphasize the necessity of driving change from within.
“If countries don’t want to improve, there is really nothing we can do as outsiders,” Delawie stated. “We cannot want it more than them.”
We have witnessed a parade of lousy leadership transitions in recent months. New head coaches are thrust into the job after their predecessors are abruptly fired; we see a true coaching carousel in multiple pro sports. The US House of Representatives created a weeklong spectacle when electing a speaker. And let us not forget Liz Truss, who followed Boris Johnson as the UK’s prime minister, but for only six weeks before being replaced by Rishi Sunak.
These bobbled handoffs more than disrupt an organization and require recovery. They rob the new leader of an invaluable resource – their predecessor.
At Davidson College, I am not only the new president. I am called Number 19. And it means something.
Of the 18 presidents who have served in the role, four of them are living. Indeed, they are living resources for me.
One of them offered me this support: “I won’t offer any unsolicited advice, but I will answer any question you ask.” These were welcome words for me, a new college president and an alum of my school.
I appreciated this outreach for two reasons. First, I know this former leader has institutional insight and wisdom gained from the role. I have already benefited from his advice at key
moments. The offer to be helpful was genuine and generous.
The second reason to appreciate my predecessor’s approach is for the restraint it models. Presidents, like all leaders, enjoy being engaged and getting stuff done. They are deemed successful when they get the right stuff done, at the right time, with efficiency. Sitting still does not come naturally.
So, when former leaders hold back from offering their counsel, it reflects their respect for the office and whoever is serving in it.
Another predecessor has been even more reserved in offering judgments on people or programs, believing that it is important that I draw my own conclusions. “You will soon figure out what you need, and whom to count on for the issues you’ll face.”
These four former presidents each led with a different style, at a different institutional moment, amid changing social and cultural contexts.
Despite these differences, they share a demonstrated commitment to help their successor. As one said, everyone is behind me and believes I am well situated for this moment, this context. Votes of confidence from these four, who have sat in this office, have an unparalleled impact. For my part, I am full of gratitude to be succeeding not only my immediate predecessor, Carol Quillen, and also Tom Ross, Bobby Vagt, and John Kuykendall.
Each of these four takes the responsibility as a former president as seriously as they took their presidential role. And for former leaders who feel appropriate pride in having acted to advance our college, to then embrace a new role of standing ready as a resource may be tougher than being in the arena was.
Douglas A. Hicks is the nineteenth president of Davidson College.
The author of this article has chosen to remain unidentified. The editor confirms the author has direct experience with the DCI.
When students hear “DCI,” they may recognize the name, but typically not for the reasons that the DCI would like. While the Deliberative Citizenship Initiative would prefer students to know about their Deliberative “D” Teams, weekly Commons Conversations, or forums, many are aware of their presence from the protest that occurred at their late September forum. The DCI received pushback for hosting a forum on “Race, Gender, and Sexuality” with ‘experts’ — none of whom belonged to minoritized groups in any of those categories and one of whom publishes hateful and violent papers targeted at the LGBTQ+ community and those working towards racial justice. It is important for students to understand that the September forum was not an isolated occurrence. The structure of the forum and the portrayal of a transphobic and racist scholar as an ‘expert’ point to a deeper culture within the DCI, one in which conversations on immigration, human rights, climate injustice, international wars, and histories of enslavement and racism all occur outside of historical context and without representation from impacted communities. While organizations such as the DCI push for absolute freedom of speech, the people and communities about which they speak demand discussions informed by empathy, history, and justice.
In order to understand the structural flaws of the DCI, we must first introduce a second organization working behind the scenes and proudly endorsing the DCI’s work: Davidsonians For Freedom of Thought and Discourse (DFTD). Led by Class of 1966 alum John E. Craig, run primarily by wealthy, white, conservative alumni, and informed by major college donors, DFTD is the group primarily responsible for all of the emails
you have received about a “Commitment to Freedom of Expression.” We could dig into that statement itself, but it is on the whole a broadly-stated and mildly impactful statement (though it does notably secure right to student protest). The work and values of DFTD beyond that statement is what demands more
too far, how to handle when someone gets ‘offended,’ and how to navigate the ‘sensitivity’ of the student body. The DCI’s egalitarian and neutrality focused approach to discourse protects people from taking accountability to harm caused, a strategy part of larger conservative narratives to displace
harmful mistreatment and violent rhetoric, the DCI calls them combative and demands ‘civility.’ Should people on this campus feel empowered enough to convey their experiences of systemic harm and mistreatment, the DCI will simply tell them, “your high emotions and deep-seated values are standing in the way of progress.” The DCI and DFTD’s work to increase ideological diversity and discourage emotional conversation and disruptive demonstration stand in direct opposition to the increasing diversity of the student body and are actively recreating the structural white supremacy upon which Davidson is built and sustained.
of our attention. The first part of their mission statement provides insight to how they aim to shape our campus:
“DFTD seeks to ensure that a core value of Davidson is free inquiry, not indoctrination in any ideology or political viewpoint. We support a campus climate that is civil, respectful, tolerant of all, and grounded in Christian values.”
While this organization is widely unknown to students, its members are highly active in their effort to revert the Davidson community to what it was in 1996 when their founder graduated. DFTD and the DCI consistently demand the time and attention of our administration and are a threat to the work of students, faculty, and staff who are reckoning with Davidson’s history and improving the culture of inclusion and diversity on campus.
Both the DCI and DFTD center ideological diversity as the main priority for Davidson’s student body. This means that in DCI planning meetings, the central question is “how do we ensure all students, liberal and conservative, feel welcome to our conversations and free to express themselves on campus?” Discussions consider how to decide when speech goes
‘white guilt’ back onto harmed communities. Their approach is rooted in pity for white, conservative, and Christian students who are uncomfortable living and studying in the backdrop of efforts to increase campus diversity and initiatives like the Commission on Race and Slavery.
The fundamental failure behind the central question of these organizations is the assertion that the decrease in power and influence of conservative voices on campus is of equal concern and urgency to the experiences of marginalized people who face threats of actual violence and experience generational oppression and loss of wealth. One does not have to strain to see through the veil of the DCI’s egalitarian perspective on ideological diversity to recognize the DFTD’s outward outrage at the lack of a conservative and Christian majority on the Davidson campus. While students on this campus struggle to feel at home amidst the stifling history of enslavement and white supremacy and the current culture of anti-queer rhetoric and racial discrimination, the DCI cries for egalitarianism and labels them as “overlypolitical.” When students speak out against
I have been asked before how I think the DCI might improve on these failures. After all, I do believe in engaging in discourse with those we disagree with, and it is true that the ability to speak freely and express oneself openly are essential tools to democracy. Unfortunately for the DCI, the issues are foundational. The leadership of the organization lacks representation and historical training, and the groups who inspire, endorse, and direct their work are informed by deeply harmful and unjust values. For students interested in engaging in relevant and progress-focused discourse with historically informed and diverse perspectives, I would encourage them to take courses in departments such as Africana, Anthropology, Sociology, Latin American Studies, and Gender & Sexuality Studies. Anyone looking for engaging and productive work might seek out opportunities for student activism and community service on campus. Opportunities for diverse thought, challenging views, and productive work exist throughout Davidson, but I would not recommend starting your search with the DCI.
All correspondence to the author should be directed to the editor at avreid@davidson.edu.
AVEDIS
In the last year, American colleges have waned further and further from objective rankings. Catalyzed by Columbia University’s removal from the U.S. News & World Report National University rankings after a math professor exposed misleading and inaccurate statistics submitted to the Report (and subsequent reinstatement sixteen places down the list), several prominent graduate institutions have removed themselves from the Report’s rankings and others like it, including Yale and Harvard Law Schools. Some undergraduate institutions seem poised to follow suit. In the potential absence of formal rankings, college admissions offices are no less competitive. An article on the front page of this paper asks how Davidson is to stay on top—I don’t think we need to. If undergraduate institutions are going to start withdrawing, we should be the first.
A junior, looking at the U.S. News rankings for the first time is probably unaware of what goes into ranking one college above another. They likely don’t care what percentage of an institution’s full-time faculty hold a doctorate or terminal degree. The average alumni giving rate likely won’t make a large impact on their college decision. I
know I didn’t, but the U.S. News report was presented to my classmates and me as the holy grail of the college landscape. Students eat it up, partially because it comes with a big fancy logo and partially because the colleges themselves put so much stock into it. When Columbia moved to #2 from #3 (before their fall from grace), the admissions team celebrated, and broadcast their achievement on social media. Colleges strive to keep their admissions rate low and their yield rate high, sometimes waitlisting swaths of applicants on release day only to admit them a few days later. I don’t believe Davidson is any exception. But so much of the gravitas of college rankings comes from the colleges’ frenzied efforts to improve their station on them. The lists are often omnipresent in the minds of applicants, even subconsciously.
If a student is trying not to be influenced by rankings or prestige, it’s likely their friends care, and that awareness bores into that student’s mind. Those students see judge both colleges and themselves by the rankings, yet often aren’t even aware of how those lists are comprised. Prestige has become a beast seperate and apart from what built it.
If Davidson removed itself, I don’t think it would hurt application numbers—it would likely boost them. College admissions
is sometimes a vapid and treacherous environment, increasingly in recent years, especially for sixteen, seventeen, and eighteen-year-olds. Freeing ourselves from the grasp of one of the central harbingers of the mental anguish that comes with the college process should be a welcome
advancement, for admissions officers and applicants alike.
Avedis Reid ‘22 (he/him) is a Linguistics major from McLean, VA. He can be reached at avreid@davidson.edu
“The DCI and DFTD’s work...stand in direct opposition to the increasing diversity of the student body and are activley recreating the structural white supremacy on which Davidson is built and sustained.
Men’s and women’s track and field are gearing up to compete this weekend at the Vertklasse Meet in High Point, NC. The women’s team is currently riding strong momentum, with nine individuals inside the top ten of the Atlantic 10 Performance Lists, and had a strong performance last weekend at the Weems Baskin Invitiational. They set three new individual PR’s and placed seven athletes with top ten finishes. The men’s team also had a strong weekend at the Weems Baskin Invitational, led by Jayden Smith ’25, who cruised to a pair of podium finishes in the 110 meter hurdles and the 200 meter. The ‘Cats have
15 performers in the top ten of the Atlantic 10 Performance Lists, and placed five finishers within the top 10 last weekend. As they tipped off bright and early at 11:30 on the morning of Wednesday, Mar. 8 against St. Bonaventure, Davidson had defeated the 9th-seeded Bonnies–who had also finished 8-10. As the teams approach their last few weekends of meets before conference, they hope to continue their strong performances and turn in times that are capable of helping them win the A-10 meet, held May 6-7 on the campus of the University of Massachusetts Amherst.
The ‘Cats play the Fordham Rams this weekend after winning seven of their last eight games.
Hunter Anderson ‘24 had his first career start on Saturday and did not disapoint, hitting a grand-slam walk off home run to win the game for the ‘Cats. It was his first career home run that marked a 9-0 comeback for the ‘Cats.
The ‘Cats will play a double header versus the Rams, the first game at 1 pm and the second at 4 pm.
Men’s Outdoor Hurdle Event
Photo Courtesy of Davidsonphotos.com
Davidson men’s basketball arrived at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York for the annual Atlantic 10 Conference Tournament, the winner of which receives an automatic bid into the NCAA Tournament. The ’Cats entered the tournament as the 8th-seeded squad out of the 15 members of the conference after concluding the regular season with a 8-10 record in conference play (16-16 overall).
They tipped off bright and early at 11:30 on the morning of Wednesday, Mar. 8 against St. Bonaventure. Davidson defeated the 9thseeded Bonnies–who had also finished 8-10 within the A10–at Belk Arena just a few weeks prior, with guard Foster Loyer ’23 and forward Sam Mennenga ’24 combining for 51 of the 74 ’Cats points in a double-digit victory. In that initial matchup, Davidson kept star Bonnies guard Daryl Banks III in check, holding him to 12 points on 15 shot attempts.
The ’Cats maintained the same blueprint in the rematch. Sure enough, Banks, who was accustomed to playing on the big stage after a surprise March Madness run with Saint Peter’s the year prior, missed all six of his three-point attempts and finished with nine points without spending even a minute on the bench. Loyer and Mennenga chipped in offensively (14 and 12 points, respectively), but this time a balanced scoring attack led by Desmond
Watson ’25 (17 points) helped Davidson grind out a 65-54 victory.
With little time to celebrate, first-year Head Coach Matt McKillop and his staff turned their attention to a battle with #1-seeded VCU, who won the regular-season conference title with a resounding 15-3 record against A10 competition. The Rams had captured wins in both prior meetings with Davidson–the first an 89-72 win in Richmond behind a 15-24 (62.5%) three-point shooting clinic and the second a 61-59 nail-biter sealed after guard Adrian “Ace” Baldwin Jr. hit a go-ahead jumper with 14 seconds left and the ’Cats missed a potential tying free throw.
Based on the latter performance, the ’Cats were optimistic about their odds against VCU on a neutral court. The Rams, though, rarely trailed en route to a 71-53 win. Even on a socalled “off day” for Baldwin, the A10 Player of the Year and Defensive Player of the Year, he paced VCU with 11 points, six assists, and his usual tenacity on his own end of the floor.
Davidson starters and VCU starters alike had quiet performances scoring-wise, but the Rams’ bench depth shined, outscoring Davidson’s reserves by a 30-12 margin. They would go on to win the tournament and enter March Madness as a 12-seed, setting up a firstround matchup with 5th-seeded Saint Mary’s.
“It’s hard to say exactly where we fell short in the A10 tournament, but I think it just comes down to making a few extra winning plays in those games and it would be a completely
different outcome,” said guard Connor Kochera ’24.
After a valiant effort that culminated in a disappointing yet unsurprising result, McKillop was far from hopeless about the direction of the program. The head coach, for one, didn’t have specified personal goals for the season, but “wanted to become better every day at trying to lead this program and help our players. I wanted our team to improve throughout the year to be at our best when the postseason arrived, and I wanted to cultivate a strong environment and relationships with our players that made them believe not only in their own abilities, but in consistently holding up the standards of our program.”
The players echoed these sentiments.
“I felt like the team got better as the season went along. We started to gel more and guys felt much more comfortable in the Davidson system and executing our principles more consistently,” expressed forward David Skogman ’24.
Indeed, that chemistry was clear during the ’Cats’ hot stretch of five wins in six games leading up to the VCU clash after a seemingly insurmountable 4-9 start in A10 play. Kochera agreed with his teammate: “Our team seemed to be making major strides toward the end of the year. We had a lot of new pieces (via transfer and incoming firstyears) and by the end of the season everyone was a lot more comfortable playing with each other…I would say the most important things
are details and toughness. Those two things have been staples of the Davidson program for years and I believe that they will be even stronger next season.”
Loyer is the only graduating player. The combination of a strong core of skill and leadership among the upperclassmen and the continued development of younger players is suggestive of improvement for a program coming off a transformative year under a new coach and after considerable roster turnover. McKillop spent the 10 days after the loss to VCU meeting with every member of the team.
“Those conversations make me excited for what everyone on our roster can do next season,” McKillop said. “It was exciting to see [first-years] Reed Bailey, Sean Logan, and Achile Spadone play their best basketball in March. It was encouraging to see, with two months of practicing with the team, the talent that [incoming first-year] Hunter Adam and [Villanova transfer] Angelo Brizzi will bring to the floor as newcomers. Whatever the role may be or how the minutes will be distributed, I believe that those in our locker room will do whatever is asked of them to help our team improve and compete for a championship.”
It may be a few more years until the ’Cats regain their position as the class of the conference, but there is reason for positivity heading into next year.
the concept of chasing something that’s impossible to find.”
The result is a dynamic body of work brimming with emotion through the interplay of color, stroke, and subject matter.
Bathed in the Van Evan Smith’s gallery light, Laura Bullock’s ‘23 senior exhibition buzzes on the walls.
Ranging from large-scale canvas paintings to multimedia prints, the culminating work of Bullock’s senior capstone spreads out across the gallery. Bullock, who uses she/ they pronouns, is a Studio Art major and Gender and Sexuality Studies minor. They explained in their artist statement, “I create a spiritual landscape with paint where interactions between animals and nude portraits tell these stories and depict the comedic discrepancy between what I want and what I get.”
The entire exhibit, entitled GOOSECHASE, “includes a lot of birds so it plays with the symbols in the work and also
Both the artistic creation and the accompanying self-reflection made Bullock’s process equally time consuming and fulfilling. In the fall semester Bullock devoted at least twelve hours a week to their art, some weeks reaching nearly twenty hours. The two weeks leading up to the show were increasingly intense with the final touches and gallery planning. However, her work did not begin this year. Bullock began to use art as a vessel for their emotional expression in their senior year of high school and it has been an ever-evolving form. Bullock’s high school painting consisted of acrylic pours on their bedroom floor and a freedom to do what they felt.
Upon formally embarking on the track of an Art Major at Davidson, Bullock became frustrated with the way their work became stiff and their adherence to a “simplistic idea of what painting was.”
Bullock explained the in-between phase of “trying to do realism but not really doing realism.” It wasn’t until after their Junior Capstone that Bullock “rediscovered what I was doing in high school when I was not trying as hard.” Bullock explained the creative journey where “little pieces of what I was doing then have come full circle now.” Now Bullock starts most of their pieces with a “lively” fluid pour of watered down acrylic paint, and then begins to structure the figures and the animals. Bullock remarked on the negative space and how they “leave a lot of space empty, so a lot of fluidity and action can come forward and play back and forth.” The collection demonstrates how different classes, such as printmaking and painting, have influenced Bullock’s creativity.
A few pieces in particular stand out to Bullock from their portfolio. When I asked about Bullock’s favorite piece, they pointed to the strikingly large, bubblegum pink painting facing the entrance of the gallery. The piece, “Inner Child,” was one they were “the most excited about and had the most affection for” because it “took so long to get it right.”
“Inner Child” serves as an introduction to Bullock’s collection as a whole. The themes of relationship, healing, nature, and self mingle with the viewer immediately and provide a gateway into the full show. Bullock attests it was “a labor of
love,” and that they didn’t finish it until the week of the show. The piece that came the easiest was “Have Your Cake and Eat it Too.” Bullock explained that the development of the piece involved reworking a previous version of the subject with a new process. In the work, Bullock displays the ongoing process of finding themselves personally and a finding of their artistic style.
At Bullock’s artist talk, they wanted to emphasize the influence of Assistant Professor of Art Katie St. Clair throughout their time at Davidson. They spoke with gratitude for St. Clair, “you see what is in me and drag it out of me.”
Within the work throughout the gallery, Bulluck noted “the layers speak back and forth to each other and examine the healing process.” Bullock’s collection makes visible a conversation with themself, a conversation within the work, and a vulnerable conversation with the audience.
Cate Goodin/2026 (she/her) is an English and Art History major from McLean, VA. She can be reached for comment at cagoodin@davidson.edu
ciates, Bird Project, and Dog vs. Lizard. On the blacktop, students watched the performance and chatted with friends and hot dogs were served on the porch.
speakers on Friday that were on their way to a dumpster that WALT’s new band division, headed by Grace McGuire, managed to intercept and hold on to.”
It’s a sunny day at Davidson College, the first in what feels like years. At 5 PM on Friday, Mar. 24, the place to be on campus is the Kappa Sigma porch, where three student bands play to a crowd of weekend-ready students. They’re here for the first of two live-music based segments of Woodstock, one of the college’s most popular traditions. Davidson’s Woodstock, which is hosted by WALT radio and the Kappa Sigma fraternity, is named for the more famous
In the evening, the house hosted Charlotte-based band Swingin’ Richards, whose mission statement is “ROCK THE HOUSE.” The Swingin’ Richards setlist included many a classic, from “Sweet Caroline” to “You Shook Me All Night Long.”
It was clear from the energy of the crowds that Woodstock is something students look forward to. Cali Koerner ‘24, co-president of WALT radio, says that
“Woodstock is about giving student bands an opportunity to play outside of just Battle of the Bands because booking gigs can be hard in Charlotte and downtown,” Co-President of WALT Cali Koerner said. “Woodstock is about unity. It really unites everybody. People are here because they’re in K-Sig or they’re in WALT, or they know somebody in a band, or they just love live music. [My] biggest priority is making it an event that everyone feels like they can go to.”
Emily Bryant ‘24 was at Woodstock for two reasons: “live music and fun outfits.” Sofia Cimballa ‘26 came to support her friend Annabel Semans, of the band Bird Project, and reported that her time at Woodstock was “absolutely awesome.”
Across the lawn, students were having similarly thrilling experiences.
“It’s something that we can only do here because we’re at Davidson College,” Koerner. “Other colleges may have student radio, but I think we’re special and that we can put on something really great and not worry about anything other than bringing the community together.”
Co-President of WALT Joe Claire ‘24, WALT’s other president, echoed Koerner’s sentiment.
Koerner also worries that “Davidson’s frat culture can be very isolating to people who are not in frats and are not part of other PCC organizations.”
While students may be passionate about on-campus music, there’s still a long way to go in terms of guaranteeing its presence, especially in an inclusive way.
“WALT is in the process of expanding its domain to include student bands as well,” Claire said. “As we enter into budgeting season, we are faced with the challenge of convincing the
music festival, held in 1969 in Bethel, New York. Woodstock ‘69 amassed an estimated 400,000 attendees, yet Davidson’s remains more humble.
Woodstock has long been an opportunity to showcase student talent and enjoy a style of music not typically found on a weekend night on Patterson Court. Previously held annually in the fall, the event returned to campus in the spring of 2022 following a COVID-induced hiatus.
Woodstock ‘23 began with an afternoon segment, with performances from three student bands: Kenny Outlaw & Asso-
“We wanted to make the most of the limited equipment and resources that student bands have access to,” Claire said. “I think our success on Friday is a testament to a campus desire to support student music; now it’s just a matter of convincing the school that this is something worth financing.”
However, Claire believs that the student desire for a live music scene is not reciprocated by the administration.
“Student bands are given access to equipment that is no longer needed by Davidson’s Tech Services, which is a great resource, but it also shows that the college is not interested in spending money on student music,” Claire said. “We used
school and Activities Tax Council that our efforts are worthwhile and play a significant role in student life at Davidson.”
Students who are interested in supporting live music on campus can reach out to Cali Koerner (cakoerner@davidson.edu) or Joe Claire (joclaire@davidson.edu), and should attend Battle of the Bands in late April.
Abby True/’25 (she/her) is a French & Francophone Studies and American Studies major from Camp Hill, PA, and can be reached for comment at abtrue@davidson.edu
CATE GOODIN‘26 (SHE/HER) STAFF WRITER Bird Project makes their debut at Woodstock ‘23. Photo by Lacey Stevens ‘26 ABBY TRUE ‘25 (SHE/HER) STAFF WRITER “Inner Child.” Photo by Laura Bullock ‘23 Laura Bullock with “Red Belly.” Photo by Laura Bullock Students enjoying the music outside Kappa Sigma frater-Oh, Doug. How excited we are to celebrate you this week. I’m su re that you all woke up Monday morning, bright eyed as you remembered that this was the week! You’ve all been counting down the hours, and it’s finally almost time…it’s President Hick’s inauguration. But alas, have you been preparing properly? Maybe not, but that’s alright - I’m (once again) here to help you. Simply tell me why you chose to come to Davidson and I’ll give you some prep to do for the inauguration.
First things first - how did you even hear about Davidson?
A. You live nearby, so there’s always a couple kids who go from your school.
B. Are you kidding? Five generations of your family have gone here. You didn’t have a CHOICE.
C. You went to a private school in the northeast and for some reason all of you come here, so…
D. Is it bad taste to say Steph Curry?
Were you an early decision kid?
A. You didn’t ED, but you committed pretty quickly after you got in.
B. Yes, obviously.
C. No, and it was almost a last minute decision to commit at all.
D. Yes, but ED2.
Mostly A’s: Acquire a Doug Mug - If you don’t know what that is, great! Neither do I! It is on the schedule, though, so show up on Wednesday evening to Union and get one of these coveted items.
Mostly C’s: Get some food from the food trucks - And my favorite part of Davidson events returns! Get some free (non-commons) food. Nothing will put you more into the mood to celebrate than actually be full for once.
Did you tour before you committed?
A. Yeah, of course you visited once or twice.
B. You basically lived here before you even applied.
C. No, it was more of a “send it” situation… thank goodness it all worked out?
D. Only virtually (Yay covid, all my homies love covid).
And finally, what aspect of Davidson helped convince you?
A. The weather/beauty of the campus.
B. The community.
C. The professors/academics.
D. Something else : the sports, the food (????), etc.
Mostly B’s: Go stand outside the President’s house for a couple minutes - Honestly, this is just an option because I think it would be hilarious. Go and soak up President Hicks’ energy for a bit! It won’t be creepy at all, I promise!
Mostly D’s: Why did you even take this quiz? You and Doug are basically besties. You have the merch, you know where to get the free food, you’re over at the President’s house constantly…I can help you no more.
See You All in Two Weeks For Your Last Quiz of The Year ;)
SAHANA: Considering Matthew Shepard aims to convey that light prevails over darkness and that pain can coexist with joy. Did you get this sense when you worked with the music these last few months?
BOOKER: I am a little hesitant to always try and derive some sort of joy or positive outlook from experiences and stories that deserve grief. I mean, the story of Matthew Shepard is horrible. And I wouldn’t even for a second want to consider just making it about progress in the gay rights movement. Because this was a real person who really suffered and really died and is now gone, and his family feels that loss. But I did feel a sense of joy in the pieces towards the end, which were focused on how we can move forward. And it felt less like some sort of toxic positivity turnaround and much more like a genuine way to engage with the trauma of the material.
SAHANA: What do you think you’ll be taking away from this experience?
JOSEPH: I realized just how powerful an act of activism this live performance of Matthew Shepard was. We hear about lots of horrible things that happen all the time. But by performing Matthew Shepard live, we got to consider the tragedy for two hours. And that is so rare to happen in our everyday lives. If you can get an audience to actually engage, then you’re doing something really powerful.
BOOKER: I learned that living in the Davidson bubble is a very real thing. It was a reminder that this might have been a crime that was committed 20 or 30 years ago, but there’s still stuff that happens like this today; there’s still people on this campus who get called slurs at parties. There are laws being passed now, which effectively limit the ability to talk about queerness and to be queer in public. I probably wouldn’t have been thinking about all of that as deeply if we hadn’t been doing this concert.
ALLY: I’d like to take away the sense of community that I think was built into Chorale, and was also shared with the audience.
SAHANA: We performed for one night only, which felt daunting to me in the rehearsals preceding the show because there was so much pressure to give it our all. We didn’t get any doovers. How did you all feel after the performance?
We Are Wildcats is a human-interest column that aims to share the extraordinary within the ordinary at Davidson College and to showcase the inspiring things that make each and every Wildcat unique. If you wish to be featured or know someone whose story needs to be heard, please feel free to contact saathreya@davidson.edu! Stay tuned for future stories! This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
25 years have passed since Matthew Shepard, a young, gay student at the University of Wyoming was kidnapped, severely beaten and left to die in a field under a blanket of stars. Five days later, Matthew passed away. The world watched and reacted, passing hate crime legislation at the state and federal level. On Friday, March 24th, 2023, the Davidson College Chorale performed Craig Hella Johnson’s oratorio, Considering Mathew Shepard, which is a compelling array of musical texts to tell Matt’s story. Roommates and Chorale members Jospeh Santi-Unger ‘23 (he/ him), Ally Harvel ‘23 (she/her), Sarah Booker ‘23 (they/them) and Nathan Goldenberg ‘23 (he/ him) reflect on this experience and what it meant to sing such important, difficult and moving music.
BOOKER: It was rough. I thought it was going to be like the other concerts. I thought I’d have a huge sense of accomplishment and a kind of euphoria. I had some of those, but I also had a pretty significant sense of utter exhaustion. I hadn’t really realized how emotionally draining it would be. During all of the rehearsals, I’ve very much just been learning the music and singing the songs because you can’t afford to emotionally engage with the trauma of what happened to Matthew Shepard every single Chorale rehearsal. But during the concert, I really did try to immerse myself in it emotionally, and really open myself up to engage with the audience and the music to really try and bring the music to life for them. And it was exhausting. I really understand why we only performed it once.
JOSEPH: That’s true, but I also felt really good after the concert, because that felt like the first Chorale concert where I could tell the audience was totally engaged with us the whole time. After the first few movements, I felt like us and the audience collectively shared a moment. And it just kept going for the rest of the concert. It was spectacular.
NATHAN: I enjoyed performing it. Afterwards, I certainly wish I could have performed it again; it meant a lot. It sort of feels a little bit hollow not still having to perform.
ALLY: Yeah, it felt like a breath of fresh air to actually perform with everybody, but I also felt kind of sad after performing, because I know that it was our last time singing all that music together.
JOSEPH: We could have come back next week and done it. And then the next week and then the next week. I don’t think we would have gotten tired of it.
SAHANA: And I hope that we do. Even if it’s not through this body of music, but just through our stories. We have to come back next week and keep retelling Matthew’s story and uplift LGBTQ+ voices by sharing new stories about what’s going on in the world today.
yowl.com/judicialbranch
Alternative Things You Could Have Bought With the Amount of Money SAE Lost on Their Canceled Formal Page Their Daddy’s Yacht
Susty Coop Dinner So Bad Doug Hicks Moves Up Timeline to Close it Down Page Veggie Burgers
March 29, 2023
Same 10 People Once Again Used for Quotes in Davidsonian Article Page Repeat Offenders
The Criminal Issue
Swinging Richards Announced Face of AARP Campaign about Returning to College Parties at Any Age Page Good Old Days
10 Things I Witnessed at Woodstock
Page I Closed My Eyes
Arecent Honor Council Trial has sparked controversy around the school. John Steezy ‘24, was accused of stealing a mechanical pencil from Chambers Lawn last week.
On Thursday 3/23, at 2:39 pm, Steezy was spotted inspecting a blue BIC Velocity 0.9 mm mechanical pencil at the edge of the grass on Chambers Lawn by a first-year from a third floor Chambers classroom. We interviewed Billy Stikupas ‘26, who spotted the crime.
“I was looking out the window while I waited for the rest of my 2:45 class to arrive–I always get there early, you’ve got to make a good impression on your professors–when I noticed [Steezy] pick up the pencil. I gave him a few hours to post it in the student group chats to find its owner, as he obviously should, but he never did.”
When asked why he felt so compelled to report the crime, Stikupas replied that he felt that he had a responsibility to “preserve the integrity of the school” because the honor code was the “number one reason why [he] chose Davidson.”
The honor council needed multiple witnesses to the crime, and found that Katie Zenout ‘25 was lying on a blanket reading her environmental science textbook when the crime happened.
“I was on my thrifted blanket drinking my iced matcha latte out of my reusable mug when I noticed him picking up the pencil. I didn’t think much of it. I was just glad he was getting the plastic out of the environment.”
Zenout’s recount was soon ruled questionable after her past relationship with Steezy was revealed. Zenout and Steezy had been in a casual sexual relationship last semester until Zenout ended things after seeing a single-use plastic Deer Park water bottle on Steezy’s bedside table. The honor council feared a biased response from Zenout after she refused to swear her testimony was total truth, stating that “the justice system is already corrupt enough in this country, I have no desire to contribute to it.”
We asked Zenout for a comment on the case. “I honestly don’t care what happens to him. And I think it could just be considered a community pencil, like why don’t we have those anyways?” she replied before picking up her copy of The Communist Manifesto
The honor council found that four Spikeball players had witnessed the event, giving them enough reasonable evidence that Steezy had taken the pencil. Steezy was also seen doodling with the pencil during the trial, so that was a sign. But the case was far from over.
“We had to prove that the pencil was actually stolen, that it belonged to someone who wanted it back,” said Missy Triard ‘23, one of the honor council members in charge of the case.
After investigation, the honor council found that Harry Bot ‘25 claimed to have owned the pencil.
“When I couldn’t find my pencil in class that afternoon, I was devastated. I’d had that BIC since 11th grade. It was my trusty pencil, and I felt attached to it,” he said.
Bot’s emotional story got to the judges, but investigation made it hard for Bot to prove his story true. Apparently, after searching Bot’s backpack, a case of 0.7 mm lead was found. Even his friends claimed that he’d bragged that 0.7 mm lead was superior to 0.9 mm for mathematics, and he was “more of a thin graphite guy,” even sometimes doing work with 0.5 mm. To Bot, size does matter.
Bot’s emotional attachment to the pencil was also deemed false after his first year WRI101 professor, Dr. Gotya, claimed that he “used to chew on wooden pencils constantly during class, like a gopher or something.”
Triard told us that they looked into Steezy’s records, and found that Steezy’s intramural basketball team had beaten Bot’s team in the A league championship by one point, and Bot had been ejected from the game for a technical foul when he called Steezy a “little bitch” after Steezy scored an And1 on him. According to Brain Meetid ‘24, there was tension between Bot and Steezy the entire game.
“Yeah man, I mean, the game was wild, man. They were guarding each other, and for real, Steezy totally broke his ankles, like multiple times, man.” Bot may have wanted revenge, which gave good reason for Bot to falsely accuse Steezy of stealing his pencil.
The investigation was to be ruled inconclusive, without anyone to claim the pencil was theirs. However, Lisa Klutz ‘26 was spotted tripping over a brick on her way out of Belk, dropping her Vera Bradley pencil case and spilling her collections of highlighters, pens, pencils, tampons, and colored erasers on the ground. She had full sets of each writing utensil, including three 0.9 mm BIC Velocity mechanical pencils in the colors red, purple, and green. She was missing a blue one to complete the set.
There was enough reasonable evidence for Steezy to be found guilty. Triard, along with Chase Snitcher ‘25 and Kelly Kissup ‘26, the other honor council members in charge of the trial were to rule that Steezy was to be expelled from Davidson. However, the honor council decided to let Steezy speak for himself.
We here at the Yowl have done some serious, probing, and consequential research that will rock your world. If you somehow managed to rid yourself of insecurities, then you’re in luck! We have provided you yet another aspect of yourself to be concerned about. Here’s what your shoes say about you.
• White sneakers: you’re a whore
• Birkenstocks: you went to church every Sunday growing up and your Instagram is nature pics
• Combat Boots: you’re gay
• Sperrys: Someone in your family has a yacht and you have daddy issues
• Cowboy Boots: you’re from nowhere remotely near the West, probably a Manhattan penthouse, but you look really good with a wide hat brim that covers your en-
tire face and you can’t help that.
• Running shoes: You either dress like a middle schooler or you have a superiority complx because you’re a STEM major
• Flip Flops: closested
• Dress Shoes: Dr. Shaw...is that you?
• Heels: you were a debutante and should’ve gone to an SEC school
• Basketball shoes: you only applied here because of Steph Curry.
• Chacos: you write hippy poetry while consuming psychadelics in your hammock on Chamber’s Lawn and at night random first-years make out in it.
• Tevas: you have a superiority complex to people that wear Chacos.
• Doc Martens: you spend all your time hogging a booth by yourself in Nummit.
THE ARCHIVES)
“This song goes out to all the man-hating dykes out there,” — Trophy Husband
Steezy, a PPE major, dedicated brother of SAE, and self-proclaimed “chick magnet,” didn’t even seem nervous during the trial. When it was his turn to speak, Steezy cleared his throat, and then he absolutely fucking rizzed his way out of the situation.
What Steezy said is too long to put word for word in this article, but important highlights from his statement include how impressed he was with Triard for her position on the honor council and how she’s making great strides for women in leadership positions, how he remembered Snitcher’s insane three pointers from the very IM game that cause Bot to falsely accuse him, and how Kissup was “too pretty to be sitting in here all day over someone as lowly as [him].”
The honor council ended up lowering the punishment to a warning and a 2,000 word essay after Steezy told Kissup he thought her veganism was going to change the world and end the climate crisis.
The verdict may have sparked controversy across campus, but despite different opinions on the outcome of the trial, no students can argue that Steezy isn’t the biggest rizz monster on campus. He was recently spotted leaving Kissup’s dorm room at 3 am last Saturday, despite spending most of the night talking to every member of Connor eating house in the F courtyard. Kissup, who had previously identified as lesbian, told us that she was now “experimenting with men–well, only [Steezy] to be honest.” Triad has stopped studying for the LSAT and told us she’s now “looking at different career paths,” after Steezy’s case has made her more sympathetic to the accused.
We asked a few students on campus for their opinions on the trial.
“I didn’t doubt for a second that he’d find a way out of the trial. I’ve never met someone with the people skills that [Steezy] has. The man could have written Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus.”
“There’s something about the man. I’m more of a 0.9 mm guy myself, but if Steezy asked me to write a handwritten essay in 0.5 mm, I’d write him whatever he wanted.”
“Yeah, he may have stolen a pencil. But his real crime is stealing my heart.”
The controversy of Steezy’s trial will soon fade, as the news of the newest crime on campus makes its way around: a freshman found with a Commons plate in their dorm room.
Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth.
