Davidsonian 2.28

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Students and faculty contemplate the war in Ukraine two years after Russia’s invasion

Volume 122, Issue 14

February 28, 2024

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Genna Barge ‘24 reflects on graduating early, pursuing new opportunities

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Senior walk-ons to women’s basketball team share their experience

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The Yowl investigates what it takes to get onto the Davidson Honor Council

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Turner Moves Into Former Sigma Phi Epsilon House Shift Creates Opportunities for a Closer Community

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MADELINE RICHARD ‘26 (SHE/HER) CO-EDITOR IN CHIEF

he former Sigma Phi Epsilon (SPE) fraternity house has been vacant since last spring, but will soon take on a new identity. Turner Eating House will move into the house this March, shifting the dynamics of the Patterson Court Council (PCC) community.

Davidson College has not made an official statement to students on the status of SPE on campus, and the Davidsonian was unable to obtain a comment on this topic as well. However, an unnamed Davidson spokesperson told WCNC, a Charlotte news organization affiliated with NBC, that SPE was suspended for five years after a spring 2023 hazing incident. The fraternity lost its former house — known as PC 2 by the Student Activities Office — as part of this suspension. However, the Student Activities Office was unable to reallocate the house until this semester since SPE was still undergoing the college’s accountability process.

“We had to wait until the appeals process [for SPE] had ended [before considering the future of PC 2],” Student Activities Director Mike Goode said. The appeals process concluded in the fall semester, meaning that SPE would no longer have a house on campus.

Although SPE was only suspended and not banned from campus, decisions did need to be made about a house that would otherwise sit empty for years Representatives from PCC and the Student Activities office did not name any specific groups or individuals who pushed for SPE to retain PC 2 after their suspension. Rather, they emphasized that the college had the final say in the house’s future even if there had been resistance. “[PC 2] is the college’s house, so [those who might have wanted to SPE to keep the house] were not offered the lease [...] it would not have been their decision,” Associate Director of Student Activities Emily Eisenstadt said.

The Davidsonian reached out to several previous members of SPE, but they declined to share their perspectives on this topic or other issues relating to their former house.

According to Assistant Director of Student Activities Shakaya Walcott, SPE technically has the option to come back to campus after their suspension is up. However, they would have to work with the national SPE organization to reconstitute their charter and they would not reclaim PC 2.

“We are not holding a house for [SPE],” Walcott said. “I think if they come back, they would operate like some of our other fraternities, sororities, and other organizations on campus who do not have a physical space.”

After the appeals process concluded and SPE officially lost PC 2, the Student Activities office began to consider the future of the house. Their interest in moving Turner out of their current

Kaitlyn Busch ‘25, Audrey Bohlin ‘25, and Evie Mulhern ‘25 stand in front of Turner House. Photo from Turner Instagram.

house — known as PC 13 by the Student Activities Office — and into PC 2 was mutual.

“We were having conversations [in the Student Activities Office] wondering if [moving Turner into PC 2] would be of interest. Right before we approached Turner, the leadership approached us,” Eisenstadt said. “Since we were on the same page, we began conversations about what that would look like.”

Turner president Evie Mulhern ‘25 highlighted that the physical location of PC 2 as compared to PC 13 was an important factor in the drive to move.

“We are really excited about having the porch and having a yard and being able to do things outside,” Mulhern said.

“We have a lot of outdoorsy people in the house, and I think everyone is really looking forward to be able to sit outside for lunch and hang out together.”

PC 2 is on the Patterson Court lawn, as opposed to Turner’s current home in PC 13 which is across the street from all other houses.

“The main reason we wanted to move our current house [....] was just in the interest of being with all the other eating houses on the court,” Mulhern said. “We are viewing it as a kind of a move that works to bring the eating houses more connected together.”

While Mulhern and other members of the Turner executive board initiated this change they were particularly interested in younger members’ perspectives, as these students have more time left in the house.

“We were kind of looking at the sophomores’ and first year class’ view on this [...] [they are] the youngest classes and they

were going to be in the house longest and so we wanted to see what they want,” Mulhern added. Still, she reiterated that the process “[took] everyone’s votes into consideration.”

These changes will unfold within a matter of weeks — Turner members will start to move in mid-March and should be fully settled in PC 2 by April.

PC 2 will undergo some minor improvements but no major renovations.

“What we are going to do now is basically return the house to essentially the status it would have been before [SPE],” Goode said.

Mulhern also explained that Turner members hope to bring their house identity into the space.

“We have a mural in our current house so [we are] painting another one in this house and we will definitely change the wall color [...] it is probably going to be a pale green,” Mulhern added.

The fate of Turner’s former house, PC 13, is uncertain.

Eisenstadt envisions that the Davidson community will have a significant say in the future of the house.

“When the current OLAS/PASA house became available when a fraternity left [...] a design team process [...] played out where students and staff members on the design team [took ideas] from current students, staff, or faculty members,” Eisenstadt said. “It was an open process — people could see ideas, submit ideas, upvote them, downvote them. And from there, the top ideas went through a feasibility study. If that process were to happen again, we would imagine that a very similar process would take place where anyone could submit any idea — be it a student organization or a department or [a new dining option].”

Students and faculty alike are optimistic that Turner’s new home in PC 2 will foster more connections among PCC organizations. “[Turner’s new] backyard is in the court with everybody else and so that might make them feel more connected to the rest of the community [...] when they have hosted before it can be a little bit of a distance for them and they did not really have a backyard,” Eisenstadt explained.

Aidan Rose Devlin ‘26 is in Turner. She feels that Turner’s new location will help it develop a larger presence on campus.

“Being closer to all the other houses and organizations will be beneficial [for parties and other events],” Devlin said. “People will be more willing to go to Turner because it’s closer.”

Moreover, Devlin believes that moving into PC 2 will build bonds with other organizations and create a greater sense of community.

“Being on the lawn and being a part of the circle [...] will definitely make us feel more included in the PCC community.”

Student Researchers Awarded Poster Prize for Immunology Research BELLA ANDJELKOVIC ‘26 (SHE/HER) PERSPECTIVES EDITOR

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heridan Page ‘24 and Izzie Meyers ‘25 were recently recognized for their immunology research, receiving the Ray Owen Poster Award at the Midwinter Conference of Immunologists. The students, who traveled to California at the end of January for the conference, have been working and researching in Associate Professor of Biology Dr. Sophia Sarafova’s laboratory. Sarafova specializes in immunology and genetics.

The Midwinter Conference of Immunologists involves individuals

participating in immunology research from all over the world. The Ray Owen Poster award, sponsored by the American Association of Immunologists, is given to the best poster presentation at the conference. According to Grand Valley State University, it is named after scientist Ray Owen, who discovered immunological intolerance through a twin cattle experiment in the 1940s. Meyers and Page are two of few undergraduate students to ever receive this award.

“This award is generally given to graduate students and postdocs, but on rare occasions the poster judges may decide to award it to the undergraduate who impresses them with their depth of knowledge and ability to answer

questions on the graduate level,” Sarafova said. “Izzie and Sheridan were the rare exceptional undergraduate presentations that merited recognition by the most prestigious poster award in immunology.”

“There were 6 undergraduate posters at this conference, compared to around 110 other graduate and postdoc posters,” Meyers added.

Page’s and Meyers’ research focused on better understanding the regulation of the Cd4 gene. This gene is responsible for encoding the CD4 protein which is essential for immune responses.

“Understanding how this gene is regulated is important for the immune system because the kinetics and timing of production of the CD4

protein influences important decisions during T cell development,” Sarafova said. “Izzie and Sheridan have successfully characterized a regulatory element in the Cd4 gene that is responsible for raising the levels of CD4 at the correct time in development, so that no error of functional choice can be made.”

“T cells are immune cells that are vital for our adaptive immune system, which allows us to fight against specific pathogens that invade our bodies,” Meyers said. “Our lab has discovered a Novel Cis-acting Element, which we call NCE, that we think acts as an enhancer of a gene essential to this process. We have

CONTINUED ON PAGE 2

News

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Students and Faculty Reflect on Two Year Anniversary of Russian Invasion of Ukraine, Emotions Heightened CLAIRE KELLY ‘25 (SHE/HER) NEWS EDITOR

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ebruary 24th marked the two year anniversary of Russia’s full scale invasion of Ukraine. The ongoing war has affected students and faculty alike and will have a lasting impact on individuals, communities, and global dynamics.

Valeriia Kruzhkova ‘26 is an international student from a small town called Romny in northern Ukraine. When the invasion began on February 24th, 2021, she was living and working in Kyiv.

“I had some friends there [in Romny] and I woke up [on February 24th, 2021] because they called me saying ‘we’re hearing the bombings,’” Kruzhkova said. “But we didn’t know that it was going to happen, for sure. We didn’t anticipate as much because we have been in war, quote, unquote, for eight years, but it wasn’t the full-scale invasion.”

When Kruzhokova evacuated Kyiv, she had a short amount of time to determine where to go and what to bring.

“Should I go with my friends to the western part of Ukraine, or should I go to see my family first?” Kruzhokova asked herself. “I just got a small suitcase with basic necessities, and I remember getting my bag within an hour.”

After speaking with some friends, who were going to various parts of Ukraine for safety, Kruzhkova ultimately decided to go home to be with her family in Romny until she could make further plans.

“I decided to go to my parents’ house [...] which I feel like right now was a smart decision, because if I stayed [...] two days later [...] the TV station, which was next to my apartment, was bombed.”

Kruzhkova highlighted the intensity of the first few weeks of the invasion.

“The first month was really devastating,” Kruzhokova said. “They [the Russian army] went through my city, So basically, we were under the occupation for two weeks prior; but we didn’t have food; all of the shops were closed; we were not allowed to go outside.”

Kruzhokova also emphasized that the hurried nature of their evacuation left them lacking basic goods.

“The first week we hadn’t even been showering because we didn’t have necessities to do all of this, which was so scary.”

Kruzhokova described celebrating her birthday, which is February 28, in her basement with her family. “I ended up celebrating [...] in the basement with just my family with no resources.”

Kruzhokova has not been home, or seen her parents, since 2021.

“I haven’t been home for two years, so I’m focusing on

Davidson students showed support for Ukraine at a campus vigil after the Russian invasion. Photo by Chris Record. school here, and my life here,” Kruzhokova said. “I would say Davidson provides security and opportunity [...] however, some of my friends in Ukraine who are still either in Kyiv or in different parts of Ukraine, they’re not able to have those opportunities which is what Russians basically want: to just cut off Ukraine from economic development from opportunities.”

Dr. Amanda Ewington is the Chair of the Russian Studies Department and had been traveling back forth to Russia since high school until the war began. Her work focuses on Russian literature and Russian relationships with the West, giving her a unique perspective on the current war.

“I’m an intense Russia watcher and have spent four decades going there regularly,” Ewington said. “We used to have a Davidson summer program there for about 10 years [...] so I was going basically every year, up until 2019.”

Since the beginning of this conflict, Ewington has become an avid advocate of the Ukrainian efforts in Davidson.

While she feels it is important to talk about the current events, she is also careful to emphasize that Russian politics and identity are not Ukrainian politics and identity.

“I’m always a little bit reluctant, because I feel like as a Russianist, speaking about Russia’s war against Ukraine, I don’t want to perpetuate the idea that Ukraine is somehow part of Russia, or I’m qualified to talk about Ukraine. But it’s more of this sense of, if not me, who?” Ewington said.

Ewington has given several talks over the past two years both across campus and within the town of Davidson. She has also partnered with Davidson College Presbyterian Church (DCPC) to help with continued efforts, including raising funds for Ukraine with DCPC. “I’ve given a lot of talks around town,” said Ewington.

“This is going to be a long war. But the really big thing that [..] that I do think people should know is, Ukraine is running out of ammunition—they are literally being outgunned like 10 to one.”

Ewington emphasized the role that the U.S. “must” play in this war.

“The thing that’s really sad, to my understanding, is that there actually are votes in the Senate and the House right now [...] to pass the latest package [of aid to Ukrainian], so I was encouraging people to just call [their local senators] and bring it to the floor.”

Kate Spencer ‘24 is a a Russian Studies and Political Science double major. She highlighted the importance of separating the Russian government from the Russian people.

“I think one interesting thing is the separation of the Russian people and Russian culture from Putin’s government and authority, and how these aren’t really the policies of the people,” Spencer said. “When the war first started, a lot of people were hating on Russia and Russian things, when they didn’t start this war, so I think that’s an important distinction that was really stressed to me in Russian studies.”

In 2023, Spencer studied in Armenia for a semester, and last summer she interned with American Enterprise Institute in Washington DC, focusing on domestic news in Russia. These experiences offered a firsthand lens into Russians’ perspectives on the war.

“When I was in Armenia, there were actually a lot of Russians there, so I got to talk to a lot of Russians who had left Russia kind of in protest to the war, or also to avoid getting drafted,” Spencer said. “They all agree that Putin is not [the Russian people’s] president.”

Chair and Associate Professor of Political Science, Dr. Besir Ceka has taught numerous courses on international politics, including one titled, “Politics of Russia and Eastern Europe.” Ceka stressed the intensity of the war and the importance of raising awareness for Ukraine “This is the most serious conflict between big nuclear powers in decades, and it has darkened the mood significantly around the globe,” Ceka said. “It’s a pretty dangerous moment [...] and I think all of us, including our students, should be paying attention to what is happening in Ukraine.”

Students Present Laboratory Projects in California Conference CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 been working to gather data to support that NCE acts as an enhancer only at a specific step in T cell development.”

The CD4 protein triggers the immune response to help fight infection. By controlling this gene, the production of this response can be timed appropriately.

Both Meyers and Page were surprised, but elated, to find out that they had won the Ray Owen Poster Award.

“With all the other graduate and postdoc posters, we were not expecting to be one of the recipients,” Page said.

Meyers and Page will continue their work with T cell development as they complete their biology honors theses. Page will present his thesis in April, while Meyers will present hers next semester since she is a junior.

The pair will also share their research with the broader scientific community.

“These data are being included in a paper we hope to send for publishing in the near future, in which we are listed as co-authors,” Meyers said.

Page explained that their focus on T cell development can have an even greater impact by helping individuals clinically, specifically helping individuals undergoing cancer treatment.

“Each year, over one million people in the US are diagnosed with cancer. Cancer treatments generally target proliferating cells, which includes the immune cells,” Page said. “However, the process of T cell development does not occur past the age of around 25, leaving many cancer patients immunocompromised. Understanding T cell development may one day enable us to restart this process, which would be an enormous benefit to these patients.”

Sheridan Page ‘24 and Izzie Meyers ‘25 stand with their presentations. Photo by Izzie Meyers

Features

Popular Game Reaches Davidson Senior Class

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people who don’t know each other, so then we will maybe say ‘if you do not assassinate this number of people by this time then you’re out’ or something like that,” Justis said.

To promote a sense of community, encourage participants to meet new people and keep everyone playing up to date, Efird and Justis made a GroupMe that anyone in the game can join.

“People have been sending silly photos when they get someone out,” Justice said. “That’s been a fun way of creating a community and seeing everyone interacting.

Every few days David sends out a Hunger Games style list of everybody who’s been killed.”

Both Efird and Justis agreed that the biggest motivators for participating in this game were to have fun at the end of senior year and to meet new people.

“The school is kind of trying to cut down on fun, so we thought it would be a new fun thing to do,” Efird said. “I think that is why people got on board and thought it would be a good idea. It is an easy talking point, you don’t have to do much, and it is a good way to meet new people.”

Justis echoed Efird’s sentiment, emphasizing the nature of cultivating community, even as their time at Davidson comes to a close.

“I also thought it would be fun because some seniors might not know each other and so if you do not know the person you’re assigned you have to figure out who they are. It is a way to meet some new people at the end of senior year.”

ANNABEL GROSECLOSE ‘27 (SHE/HER) STAFF WRITER

iding in classrooms. Running across Chambers.

Watching your back. What is going on? Davidson senior assassin. Many members of the Class of 2024 have decided to play their own version of the popular game, each having been randomly assigned a target that they must get out.. Mallory Justis ‘24 and David Efird ‘24 have taken charge of the effort to finish their last semester at Davidson with silliness.

The objective of the game is for participants to attach the clothespin to their target while avoiding getting pinned themselves. However, there is a catch.

“The trick is that no one can see you pin them, so, you either need to come up to them in a crowded place and sneakily pin them or get them alone where no one is around. If someone sees, it is a failed attempt and it does not count,” Justis said.

“Once you kill someone you take on the person that they’re after and hopefully it will dwindle down to one person.”

The game has proved popular thus far with 150 initial sign ups and about 80 seniors remaining as of February 19th. The competition has even garnered the attention of the Davidson Games Club.

“The games club on campus got really excited about it,” Justis said. “They offered to sponsor an [undisclosed] prize for the winner.”

The idea to bring a senior assassin game to Davidson formed two years ago, when the current seniors were sophomores.

The game is popular across high schools in the US. “Some of my friends at Davidson had one of their younger siblings, who was a senior in high school, up at Davidson and his assassin came all the way here [from his high school] and killed him at a [Davidson] party,” Efird said. “I thought it was hilarious and I was like, well, we never got a chance to do that because our senior year was cut short so it might be fun to do it here. That’s kind of where it all started.”

This year, Erfid and Justis got the ball rolling near the end of January.

“I was talking about this game because I knew some friends that had played it somewhere else, and I ended up talking to David about it,” Justice said. “I don’t even remember where we were. David knew of the game too and we decided we should make it happen at Davidson; then a week later we just drafted up a quick email [to the senior class], made a google form and if you wanted to play you could.”

The initial email sent to the class of 2024 included

Senior students pose in Union while playing the game. Photo

by Mallory Justis instructions about the game as well as tips and tricks for assassination. Rules included “You may not harm or cause pain to the target with your clothespin (emotional pain is allowed)” and players were tipped “Don’t know the person you’re assigned? Use your assassin skills. Find them on Outlook, Instagram, etc. This is a great way to make new friends!”

As of now, the number of people getting out each day is pretty consistent at about 10-20 people. However, there is no set end date for the game.

“I kind of want to see how long it goes. I think it’d be funny if it’s still going close to the end of the year,” Efird said. “I think there are definitely some people that are taking it a lot more seriously than others.”

Justis agreed; however, she did mention the possibility of providing an incentive for people to finish off the game once there are only a few people left.

“At the end, we will probably get down to a couple of

Crime Log Time Reported

Description/Location

02/21/24 13:00 hrs

Traffic Offenses: Hit and Run

02/23/24 08:51 hrs

Burglary Offenses: Breaking or Entering Vehicle

Lula Bells, Inactive

Hart, Further Investigation

02/24/24 16:25 hrs

Burglary Offenses: Breaking or Entering Vehicle Belk, Further Investigation

02/25/24 18:58 hrs

3

Burglary Offenses: Breaking or Entering Vehicle Larceny Offenses: Misdemeanor Larceny Chidsey, Further Investigation

*Crime log information comes directly from the publicly available Main Campus Crime Log. For more information please reach out to campus police.

Perspectives

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Reflections from a “Senior”: The Pros and Cons of Graduating Early

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GENNA BARGE ‘24 (SHE/HER)

raduating early from Davidson after just three years has been a whirlwind experience, filled with excitement, challenges, and a mix of emotions. As a student-athlete, my decision to graduate early was driven by a combination of factors, each with its own set of pros and cons.

One of the most significant advantages of graduating early is the financial benefit.

By completing my economics degree in three years, I save a substantial amount of money on tuition and living expenses.

This financial freedom allows me to pursue other opportunities without the burden of loans hanging over me. Additionally, graduating early means I have an extra year of NCAA eligibility, which I could potentially use to continue my athletic career or pursue a “fourth year” master’s program in a concentrated area of study.

At Davidson, I feel as though I have built a strong foundation in economic analysis, and applied these skills to my extracurricular activities like ‘Cats Stats. I aim to utilize a master’s program to dive deeper into organization-level challenges, industry structures, and strategic management so that I can apply a well-rounded skill set to a career in consulting. Therefore, graduating early allows me further flexibility in both my academic and athletic pursuits.

Another benefit of graduating early is the opportunity to explore other interests and activities. Since I structured my time at Davidson to complete my major and minor requirements early, I have had the freedom to take classes that are of general interest to me. This semester, for example, I have been able to explore a variety of subjects and activities that I may not have had time for

if I had followed the traditional four-year track. This freedom to explore and expand my horizons is something I value greatly.

Being able to enjoy my “senior” spring playing a variety of club and intramural sports has also been a highlight of graduating early. As a fall sport athlete, I have had the opportunity to experience everything Davidson has to offer in my last semester here. From participating in intramural and club sports to attending campus events, I have been able to savor every moment and make the most of my time here.

However, graduating early is not without its challenges. One of the main cons is the sense of feeling like I have missed out on a lot. Since most of my friends will still be at Davidson next year, I worry about missing out on experiences and memories that we could have shared together. Additionally, transferring credits and taking five classes in both the fall and spring semesters to graduate early has been challenging and stressful at times. Balancing a heavy course load with athletic commitments has been nothing short of tough, and there have been moments when I felt overwhelmed.

Another challenge of graduating early is the impact it has on internship and job opportunities. Having less internship experience while being busy with classes during the fall recruiting season made it harder for me to secure job offers. Additionally, the rushed nature of graduating early has limited my time to apply to various graduate schools and pursue other post-graduate opportunities. As I aspire to long-term roles such as Chief Data Officer or VP of Strategy, especially within sports analytics, I believe that a master’s in either business analytics or quantitative management will be pivotal. It will provide me with a solid foundation for understanding and addressing complexities

in the field of sports analytics.

Despite these challenges, I am grateful for the opportunity to graduate early and move on to the next stage of my life. Davidson has been a special place for me, and I will miss my friends, professors, teammates, and the campus in general. As I prepare to leave, I am trying to savor every moment and make the most of my remaining time here. While graduating early has its pros and cons, I am confident that it is the right decision for me and my future.

When I tell people I’m graduating early, their reactions are always interesting. Some are surprised, others impressed. Most are supportive, and genuinely curious about my decision to leave a place I truly enjoy.

My emotions about having my junior year be my senior year are mixed. It feels rushed—I only decided to go through this during the spring of my sophomore year, so it feels like I have not been able to enjoy my last year fully. I’ve tried to balance having fun with schoolwork and field hockey commitments, enjoying time with my friends, but I have limited time. It’s weird seeing my teammates going to practice, and I feel as though that should be me.

As I prepare to leave Davidson, it’s a mix of emotions. I’m excited for what’s next but also nostalgic for the memories and friendships I’ve made here. I find myself reminiscing about freshman year and how fast time has flown. When I think about how I view Davidson knowing I won’t be here next year, I try to savor every moment whether it be going to Nummit with my friends during little one-hour breaks, “working” in Union with friends, or going to a lot of events happening around campus. I’m also going to miss trying all of the restaurants around the Davidson area, training with our team’s strength coach, and going to Lake Campus

with my friends on weekends in the spring.

It’s bittersweet: I’m excited to be moving on to the next stage of my life and jumpstart my professional goals, but I’m going to miss Davidson. I’m trying to reconnect with old friends and expand my horizons to meet new people, even though it’s the end of my time here. I truly think the people here are so special.

Graduating early from Davidson has been a deeply personal and rewarding experience. While it comes with its own set of challenges, the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. I am grateful for the memories and experiences I have gained during my time here, and I look forward to the new adventures that await me beyond graduation.

Davidson will always hold a special place in my heart, and I am proud to call myself a graduate of this esteemed institution.

An Unveiling of Society’s Covert Egotism

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UDAY AHUJA ‘26 (HE/HIM)

t’s been nearly two centuries since Tocqueville observed that rugged American individualism is a repackaged version of what Europeans would call egotism. A similarly keen 21st century spectator might take this a bit further— individualism now seems to be a rhetorically edified version of plain selfishness. Bolstered by a system centered around the creation and exploitation of the ideal market purchaser, we are encouraged on every front to see the world as a stage for ourselves and ourselves alone. This is extended to the government. A politician recently apologized for their support for the Iraq war due to its failure to exercise American interests, nevermind the loss of hundreds of thousands of Iraqis. It is extended also to the classroom. When my economics class was asked if we would pool our extra credit points for greater benefit, only two of us agreed. One of the naysayers mumbled something about people who don’t deserve the credit also cashing in.

In the consumer society, individualism takes on a particularly insidious turn. We are sold self-care, the suburban dream, self-help and so many other forms of selfness that we are then sold temporary remedies for. Each of these remedies, in turn, further create their demand. By buying into “mindfulness,” for example, dehistoricized and stripped of meaning, we are encouraged to “develop our personal resources,” “grow as people,” and “become self-reliant,” instead of achieving the original communitybased goals of meditation. This furthers our alienation. By engaging with an incessant psychology, we continue our fascination with ourselves. This also furthers our alienation.

How are we told to fix this feeling of discontent? By buying a mindfulness app or paying for a psychologist. Friends (thankfully not mine) often wash their hands of each other.

“It’s not my job to be your therapist.” Translated: “The only person I am responsible for is myself.”

The primary pedagogical effect of these processes is that each of us is directed to aspire towards a kind of mediocrity.

The upholding of the individual, and the resulting inability to imagine a consciousness wholly different from our own, means that each of us is contained within our skills.

Hence the suspicion of skill, of criticism; the so-called “let people enjoy things” culture that really means “please don’t have opinions on what I like because that would entirely rupture my relationship with it.” People who only engage with reading or writing on a 101 level will never know that there is something beyond it. No longer is Simone Weil’s celebrated exhortation to turn and ask one’s neighbor, “What are you going through?” possible (if indeed it ever were).

The discourse around literature specifically increasingly incorporates the question of representation, of writing what you know. It is no longer written for an audience but “produced” for a “community.”

We at Davidson College do not escape this insularity. In my first semester, in a class dealing with South African fiction under apartheid, my classmate turned to me and asked, “This is all well and good, but what does this have to do with me?”. The only solution to this mentality is to go even further beyond yourself. The quest to read, or write, or listen to music not in an effort to assert the ego (in the Latin sense) but rather to cease to be. And preeminent amongst the ways of doing this is difficulty. Now, as Wildcats, we are well acquainted with a kind of difficulty—one that consumes our time. How many of us have spent hours on essays we’ve learnt nothing from? No wonder then that in our supraacademic lives we are wary of imposing further toil. The difficulty I am advocating for (I realize of course that this is not a popular position) is not that difficulty. It is one that is enjoyable, and that forces you to reckon with the world on a different level. It is a difficulty that promotes a more deliberate aesthesis.

In an era where we consume life in bite sized packages, this difficulty invites you to take some time out for yourself, but not for your self. Engage with something of length (shorter pieces can only present ideas already familiar to you). Watch a movie in a language you don’t speak. Find a book from a

country you know nothing about. Read about a group from your hometown you just never engaged with. This applies across strata. I’ve met white readers who’ve never heard of Toni Morrison. I know queer readers who refuse to grow beyond puerile Y/A. And it’s not just content!

Insofar as the content-form distinction is useful (I hold that it isn’t particularly) we must also experiment with formal innovation. Pierre Guyotat’s Eden Eden Eden, for example, is a constant stream of consciousness—prurient, scatological, violent and explicit, but never boring. By dealing with new forms, we further force ourselves to reckon with new kinds of reality.

I had told my classmate, so concerned about their relation to apartheid, an easy lie about the universality of the human condition. The truth: it had all but nothing to do with them.

And that’s ok.

Sports

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Senior Walk-ons Fill New Shoes on Women’s Basketball Team

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JACKSON STRELO ‘26 (HE/HIM) SPORTS WRITER

or most high school athletes who are not recruited to play Division I sports, entering college may seem like the end of high-level athletic competition as academics become the primary focus of daily energy and motivation. However, KP Peterson ‘23 and Mallory Justis ‘23 are proving that this does not always have to be the case. By finding other ways to compete while in college and knowing the right people, these two new additions have earned an exciting opportunity as they prepare for the end of their time at Davidson: walking onto the women’s basketball team.

As the injuries piled up for the ‘Cats, leaving them shorthanded and with roles to fill, Head Coach Gayle Fulks jokingly asked her players, “Is there anyone we could add?” Fulks may not have expected it, but her light-hearted comment was the beginning of a “wild story,” as Peterson puts it. Peterson, who has played in several intramural leagues and pickup games with Justis during their threeand-a-half years in college, explains that they “got some texts from some of the people [they] know on the womens’ basketball team… and they just said ‘hey, come to practice’ … and it all kind of spiraled from that.”

While very grateful, neither Peterson nor Justis took the offer too seriously at first. Justis is still struck by how quickly everything came together to make the two new additions: “Oh, it’ll be cool, [we’ll] just show up to practice, have some fun… and then, nope, here’s the paperwork [to join the roster].” Peterson echoed her new teammate’s sentiment that everything took a 180-turn in the span of half a day. She had witnessed Davidson’s victory over George Mason the previous day, but “never in my mind did I think, ‘oh, yeah, that could be me.’”

For Coach Fulks, the additions were also uncharted territory. She admits that “it’s never happened to me before, where we’ve added players in February.” However, she trusted her players who vouched for Peterson and Justis, and after getting to know the seniors, it was not difficult for Fulks to decide that she was “immediately on board.”

So far, “it’s been a fun little side quest” for Justis’ senior spring, she jokes. In addition to the prospect of competing in collegiate athletics, the two seniors note that learning about the student-athlete experience has been equally enriching.

According to Peterson, the Davidson athlete experience is “completely different” than her prior experience as a student. While both Peterson and Justis had participated in competitive sports growing up, they have quickly come to appreciate the time commitment and logistics required of successful college athletes and programs.

“This is an extremely high level of basketball. So many things go into the team…film, scouting reports, travel… there’s so much that goes into it besides just playing basketball,” Justis said.

The two recognize that most Davidson students have attended games and seen the product of athletes’ hard work. Peterson and Justis were aware of the required effort given their common athletic background. However, upon gaining a “sneak peak” of what it is like to be a studentathlete at Davidson, their understanding has deepened further. Reflecting on her time in college, Justis admits that the involvements that have been central to her Davidson experience do not match what is logistically possible to athletes. “The clubs and organizations that we’re a part of, a lot of times athletes just don’t have time to join them,” she says.

While the learning curve has been steep and the timeline short, the team has been fully supportive of their new teammates. Coach Fulks remarks that the girls have brought

“unbelievable attitudes, great energy, and a positive spirit” to the team, and that she’s “very fortunate” that Peterson and Justis have been willing to spend their senior spring helping the team. According to Peterson, “everyone on the team is so fun and so welcoming,” and although they have spent nearly four years making plenty of friends on campus, they have made some new ones in their final semester.

The women’s basketball team welcomed two walk-ons this season. Photo by Davidson College Athletic Communications Department.

One benefit the two seniors had not considered at first was getting to momentarily regain a piece of themselves that they had to part ways with in high school. “You don’t really realize that you miss it until you do it again… I forgot how fun this is,” Peterson said. Justis agreed, adding that she “forgot how much fun it is to go to practice and get a good workout in and work really hard.”

Their ride is just underway and has been nothing short of a whirlwind, but Justis and Peterson have been able to enjoy a rare Davidson experience. As they close their Davidson story, these few pages of their book will be some of the most unforgettable ones.

Remembering Charles “Lefty” Driesell McKillop, who was at the helm of Davidson from 1990-2022, told The Davidsonian, “I was at Davidson because of Lefty Driesell.”

Driesell’s most impressive season leading Davidson was arguably 1968-69, his final year before accepting the head coaching job at Maryland. That year, the Cats finished with 27 regular season wins and were edged out in the Elite Eight by North Carolina.

McKillop lauded Driesell’s ability to balance academic rigor at Davidson and accomplishment on the court, calling the 1968-69 campaign “one of the best achievements in the history of college basketball.” The celebrated head coach is survived by his 4 children and grandchildren.

THOMAS KADE ‘26 (HE/HIM) SPORTS EDITOR

T

he college basketball community mourned the loss of longtime coach Charles “Lefty” Driesell, who died on February 17th at age 92. Driesell, winner of 786 games as a collegiate head coach and the only coach to record 100 or more wins with 4 different schools, led the Davidson program from 1960-1969. He was widely known for propelling the Wildcats onto the national stage as his teams won 3 Southern Conference tournament championships and 5 regular season crowns during his reign as head coach.

Driesell possesses the best win percentage (.730) of any Wildcats’ coach and stands as the second-winningest coach in program history, having won 176 games only behind the legendary Bob McKillop’s 634 victories.

A collage commemorating Driesell’s legacy. Photo by Davidson College Athletic Communications Department.

Men’s Basketball Standings

Standings Update

Team

Richmond Loyola Chicago Dayton VCU St. Bonaventure UMass George Mason St. Joe’s Duquesne Davidson Fordham Rhode Island

W

L

STK PCT

12 12 11 10 8 8 7 7 6 5 5 5

2 2 3 4 7 7 7 8 8 9 9 9

W3 W7 L1 W1 W1 L1 L1 L1 L1 L1 W1 L4

.857

.857 .786 .714 .533 .533 .500 .467 .429 .357 .357 .357

Davidson Women’s Basketball Senior Spotlight Video

Arts and Entertainment 6 Sashay You Stay: Thorgy Thor Performs for Davidson ROSE CECCHI ‘27 SHE/HER STAFF WRITER

T

he prominent drag queen Thorgy Thor visited Davidson on February 22nd to perform with the Davidson College Symphony Orchestra. Thorgy Thor is a drag queen from Brooklyn, New York who rose to fame for her role in RuPaul’s Drag Race season 8, RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars season 3, and Mozart in the Jungle. Fans of the show will know her as an avant garde performer who brought Brooklyn Drag to the public eye.

Along with being a famous drag queen, Thorgy is also a talented musician, playing the violin, viola, and cello. She has a degree in violin and viola performance from the Conservatory of Music at SUNY Purchase, all while establishing her drag persona. During her pre-performance talk, Thorgy discussed some of her major musical influences, such as the Russian composer Pyotr Illyich Tsakovski.

“It’s so theatrical,” she said, “my mind saw humor, and color.”

When asked about how she deals with creative blocks, Thorgy commented, “You have to step away from your instrument and do something else in your life, because when I step away and do something else creative, it happens.”

Thorgy broke out in the drag scene through her weekly drag show Saliva! at the Ritz in Manhattan.

“It quickly became the most popular show,” Thorgy said.

On Thorgy’s season of Drag Race, she mentioned her dream of having a “Thorcestra” where she can combine her two passions into an spectacle performance. Now, eight years after the premiere of her season, Thorgy is living out that dream, and collaborating with different orchestras around the globe including the Davidson College Symphony Orchestra.

For some members of the orchestra, this was the most unconventional performance they had ever been in.

“She was very cooperative and also really funny during the dress rehearsal… [it was the] highlight of my year, ‘’ said Gabe Garcia ‘26, a member of the Davidson Chamber Orchestra.

“Little bits of the show surprised us.”

Garcia’s comment spoke to the improvisational nature that Thorgy brought to her performance. In fact, at one point in the performance, Thorgy improvised a song, joking that every drag race star has come up with a bad album and it was finally her turn.

The show consisted of a mixture of classical music, comedy bits, and audience interactions.

“I was really brought into the show because it was so unique and I didn’t think Davidson would do anything like this, I think it’s really important and powerful” said audience member

the walk off contest. Thorgy brought two local drag kings, Daddy Jazzy and Jade Smooth, up on stage with her, as well as two audience members who she gave the drag names of “Geez Louise” and “Lazy Susan.” They took turns posing around the stage while the audience and Thorgy cheered them on. Ultimately Thorgy chose a winner, Geez Louise, based on the crowd reactions.

Thorgy also played with the orchestra, with both the cello and the violin. At one point she performed a bit where she painted to the music that the orchestra was playing and awarded the painting to a random audience member. One of the most

Thorgy Thor performs with the Davidson College Symphony Orchestra. Photo by Rose Cecchi.

Thorcestras combine Thory’s drag and musical . Photo by Dispeker Artists

Cole Erickson ‘26, when asked what drew him to come to the performance.

At the top of the show, the musical director, Professor Tara Villa Keith, led the Chamber Orchestra with a rendition of Overture to Candide, composed by Leonard Bernstein. Thorgy entered with a stunning pink sparkly jumpsuit. “ I’m dying for Thorgy’s pink sparkly jumpsuit, I want one” said audience member Alana Wilson ‘24.

The performance also featured up-and-coming drag queen Crystal Heart, as Thorgy joked “two queens for the price of one!”

One of the more notable moments from the performance was

humorous points of the show was when she read off a list of ridiculous “cameos” (recorded messages by celebrities) she had been requested to do with the orchestra playing behind her, which prompted a huge reaction from the crowd.

The success of the Thorcestra event here at Davidson shows the appeal and influence that “unconventional” performers have, and should propel Davidson to continue bringing diverse performers to our campus.

Rose Cecchi ‘27 (She/Her) is from McLean, Virginia and can be reached for comment at rocecchi@davidson.edu.

An All-Encompassing Gallery Exhibition CATE GOODIN ‘26 SHE/HER SECTION CO-EDITOR

A

t 6:00 on February 15th, the Van Every / Smith Galleries and the atrium of the Belk Visual Arts Center were humming with people, conversations, and an exhibition full of color, texture, and hope. The new exhibit The sun still rises in spite of everything held its opening reception for the multi-artist show, featuring artists Johannes Barfield, Alexandra Bell, Erika Diamond, Johannah Herr, Jammie Holmes, Matt Kenyon, William Pope.L, Shaun Leonardo, Rafael Lozano-Hemmer, Cannupa Hanska Luger, Cara Sheffler, Hồng- n Trương, Jina Valentine, and Ashima Yadava. The exhibition echoes one of ten years prior, State of Emergency, from 2014, which highlighted artists’ interactions with disasters.

For this exhibition’s title, the Gallery attests,“We believe in the power of the visual arts and present this exhibition in support of artists who are exposing and documenting our collective experiences, creating space for grief, mourning, civil dialogue, collaboration, connection, understanding, and protest, while helping us imagine a more equitable, just, safe future.”

Townspeople, professors, artists, and students alike filled the space for an evening of art and learning. Entering into the galleries, one was greeted with a multimedia exhibition full of diverse perspectives and pieces. Right behind the doors to the gallery, headphones invited the viewer in Johannes Barfield’s audio and visual piece, MY EYES DUE SEE. The screen displayed a black man riding atop a car, to a backdrop of a blue sky and green trees overhead. Upbeat background played until the screen flashed a yellow background with text “objective reasonableness” intended to remind

Domestic Terrorism: War on Rugs From America (L) and MY EYES DUE SEE (R)are two pieces in the new exhibit The sun still rises in spite of everything. Photo by Van Every/Smith Galleries. the viewer of the connection between police brutality and Black drivers and passengers in America. The music jolted the viewer, just as the screen returned again to a blue sky.

Another standout were quilt pieces by Erika Diamond, who hosted a quilting workshop featured in the previous issue of The Davidsonian. Diamond presented a quilt, a jacket, and a school backpack interspersed in the second room of the Van Every Gallery.

Isabel Smith ‘24 is an intern at the gallery.

She explained her movement throughout the exhibition: “Every time I come into the gallery, I start with Johannes Barfield’s MY EYES DUE SEE video in the front room of the Van Every Gallery.Two pairs of headphones hang next to the TV playing Barfield’s music, and even without putting them on, you can hear it softly reverberating through the gallery. Once you put the headphones on, they immerse you in Barfield’s world. I linger in the back room, looking at Rafel Lorenzo Hemmer’s A Crack in the Hourglass, An Ongoing COVID-19 memorial, where sand and glass create a brief portrait of someone lost to COVID that then gets wiped away. The piece demonstrates the

ephemeral nature of life while being about the memorialization and visualization of such incredible and collectively traumatic loss of life. The gallery covers the wall with prints of each portrait, and I stand and stare at the photographs of all of the lives lost.”

Two artists, Cara Sheffler and Johannah Herr, produced a physical magazine, titled Domestic Terrorism: War Rugs From America, drawing on retro advertising to highlight socio-political issues in America. The magazine copies sit on a shelf next to physical rugs, War Rugs, hanging against a backdrop of mid-century wallpaper.

These pieces spoke to Smith in particular, who explains, “Johannah Herr’s War Rugs are colorful and punchy yet overwhelmingly somber pieces…The works take a long time to digest. War Rug VI (War on Drugs) is about former President Reagan’s Anti-Drug Abuse Act which disproportionately targeted people of color. It features stop lights, guns, cars, cigarettes, and even skittles, referencing what Trayvon Martin was carrying when he was murdered. The work is powerful and devastating.”

The magazines, a collective effort, then incorporate the same themes as the rugs.

Magazine copies are also available for purchase in the gallery shop.

Caroline Ewing ‘26, an Art History major, lingered on certain pieces throughout the evening. She described her time wandering throughout the gallery.

“I was fascinated by how interactive the exhibit felt. From Rafael Lozano-Hemmer’s A Crack in the Hourglass to Johannes Barfield’s MY EYES DUE SEE, viewers were invited to contribute to, listen to, and contemplate artworks about disasters. However, I thought one of the most impactful of those works was Matt Kenyon’s Alternative Rule. The installation features a desk with writing implements, as well as an enlarger that connects to a television on the wall to name victims of gun violence since the Columbine High School shooting in 1999. The viewer is brought into dialogue with the artwork, as they are encouraged to use the paper and pens on the desk to write letters about gun control to members of government and, in turn, forced to confront the dire issue presented by the artwork.”

The sun still rises in spite of everything encompasses different styles of art and a differing artists. Yet the Gallery created a cohesive exhibit in the common theme of struggle and hope.

“To me, the sun still rises in spite of everything represents how we must press forward,” Simth said. “Despite all the horrors of the world, the earth keeps spinning, and we must remember, grieve, and push to create a more just future—one that art can help us conceive.”

Cate Goodin ‘26 (She/Her) is an English and Art History Double Major from McLean, VA and can be reached for comment at cagoodin@ davidson.edu.

Living Davidson

Crossword Airline Secret Code

7

Crosswords by Victor Fleming ‘73

Across 1 “___ From the Past” 6 Outreach and Engagement Librarian Sydney 11 Lt. producer 14 Concerto finale, often 15 “Skip to ___ ...”

16 Classic Japanese drama 17 Start of a quip at the airport 19 “It’s the end of an ___!”

20 ___ Willie Winkie 21 Lose ___ whisker 22 G or R 24 Directors Ethan and Joel 26 What a flamingo might stand on 27 Haiku cousin 30 Part 2 of the quip 32 “Got it” 33 Part of 50-Across 35 At quite an incline 37 LAX listing 38 Baker’s supply 43 Causing less difficulty 46 Fat-removal surgery, for short 47 Part 3 of the quip 51 From dawn to sunset 53 Slow on the ___ 54 Arpeggio components 56 Dressy ball 57 Acumen 58 Cry after an epiphany 61 Boca’s state (abbr.)

62 End of the quip 66 Claus assistant 67 “Cotton Comes to Harlem” director Davis 68 “I Pray” singer Amanda 69 Assistant registrar Paula 70 “Fahrenheit 451” actor Wer ner 71 Alfred Nobel, for one

Down 65 “So, what else is ___?”

1 It may be furrowed

2 ___ wolf 3 “___ up!” (dealer’s call)

4 Initials of Reagan’s “Star Wars” pro-

gram

5 Outdoorsy girl

6 Asian capital 7 Add some color to

8 In the style of 9 Marilyn, James, Bill and Earl

10 “L.A. Law” cast member 11 “Ah, Wilderness!” playwright

12 Iris covering 13 Long and unkempt, as hair

18 Visually assess

23 Golf ball’s platform 24 Canadian Plains tribe

25 WDAV, for one, after “radio” 27 “___ for Silence” (Sue Grafton

book) 28 Not an exact fig.

29 Abigail Adams ___ Smith 31 “Don’t let anyone find you!”

34 Word with chin or head 36 “___, I see you!”

39 90-degree angles 40 Word with Kool or legal 41 Place to recuperate 42 Yo-yo or Slinky 44 Cut back on food intake 45 1:10 or 2:15 47 ___ and puffed ANSWERS TO LAST 48 1960s lunar project 49 Attack from the air CROSSWORD! 50 Candied tuber APPROXIMATE 52 Abatements 55 Dog tag datum CAUSE 58 “God’s Little ___” (Caldwell novel) 59 Adhere to 60 Shaping tool in shop class 63 “Thought you’d never ___” 64 Long of “Soul Food”

Campus Celebrities - Our Student Section Leaders

K

AVA MCKINNEY ‘25 (SHE/HER)

aylie Williamson and Allie Hay may not be on the court, but they certainly play the game. As the Davidson basketball season begins to wind down, it’s time to meet the women behind our student section. Taking on the responsibility of bringing the hype to the men’s and women’s games all season, Williamson and Hay have not disappointed.

Themed nights, tailgates, heckle sheets, and free t-shirts have graced the students who attend games. They call their student section organization “The Destruction” (@davidsondestruction on Instagram), and they do all their hard work under a single motive: “We wanted to make the biggest party in the A-10,” says Williamson. When asked what the “party” in question is, she simply responded with “the students, of course.”

How did they make their vision for Davidson’s student section a reality? The Destruction has only existed since this fall, and previous student sections have looked a lot different. “There was no joining [a student section team],” Williamson declared.

“We made it. We started it.” There was a previous group called the Davidson ROAR that led student section events, but “we got rid of it because that was weird.” Hay jumped in to clarify why The Destruction veers away from, as Williamson put it, being “weird.” “By creating our own brand we separated from athletics in a way that gives students the power to make student section decisions.”

Their desire to reinvent the student sports-watching experience comes from a deep love of participation and connection over sports for each of them. Kaylie made two of her friends who had never watched a single basketball game in their life go to every single game during their freshman year. She teaches everyone she knows how to not only love the game, but to love building connections with a team. As for Allie, she spoke of her memories at Davidson as a child: “As a 4th generation Davidson student, I grew up watching the swim team in the student section as a kid and knew I wanted to be a part of that if I got the chance to come to Davidson.”

Their process for creating new and fun ideas to get students to come to games has a lot to do with staying on top of trends.

Williamson and Hay noted that they look out for new ideas through social media. Hay mentioned that “talking to other

schools with powerful student sections” helps bring in a fresh perspective to Davidson’s campus, which has a much smaller student body than most Division 1 schools.

Williamson has even reached celebrity status with her recent touch of social media fame. She writes a “heckle sheet” for every basketball game, which essentially is a list of insults to use against the opposing team. Williamson spends hours on these sheets, researching each team member to find the perfect insult that the student section can yell. Her favorite insult is “probably when one of the guys was 25 and had two kids.” So when a Fordham sports reporter took a picture of one of the La Salle sheets that she left out for students to use and posted it on X, it got 30,000 views. Scandalously, her hard work was misattributed. He said that the pep band made the sheets.

Williamson said she feels “annoyed” about the misattribution purely because of the amount of effort she puts into creating them. She stated, though, that the real reason for the sheets has nothing to do with her personal gain. So why does she do it?

“Because it’s funny, one. And two, it makes people excited about being energetic. It puts fire under the seats of the audience.”

It’s no exaggeration to say that Allie Hay and Kaylie Williamson have given Davidson student sections a much-needed refresher this year. And their hard work has paid off. The student section for basketball games is now technically two times bigger (due to seating on both ends of the court), and their innovative actions have caused quite a commotion on Davidson’s campus and beyond. Thanks to them, going to sports games is becoming a staple community pastime.

EMAIL BEPEAKE@DAVIDSON.EDU TO NOMINATE ANOTHER CAMPUS CELEBRITY!

Davidson’s heckle sheet at a recent game against La Salle University. Photo by Kris Pursiainen on X.

The

Yowl

Irreverent student journalism since 2004. Castigat Ridendo Mores. yowl.com/moreeffortthistime

February 28, 2024

inside

Horrific Headline Lack of Late-Night Frat Wedding ForeTypo Ruins Last Partying White Noise shadows Theme of Makes Upstairs F Resi- Future Davidson Week’s Yowl dents Unable to Sleep Weddings: Alcohol Page We Have Fun

Page It Haunts Me Page House Music

The No Mistakes Issue

Violet Ladies Decline What Does Your Concert Request: Childhood Crush Davidson Settles for Say About You? Indigo Girls Page Just a Grammy

Page You’re Gay

How To Rig The Honor Council Election

Step 1: Have a candidate in mind.

Studies show that a lack of candidates for whom to rig an election directly correlates with the failure of election fraud attempts.

Ensure that you know both the name AND the Davidson email of said candidate, so that your efforts are traced back to the candidate rather than to your davidson email. If questioned about any election fraud-related activities, give investigators the candidate’s email.

Step 2: Give the candidate lawyer parents.

The latest polls say that students are partial to people who have privilege and show it. We recommend either transferring your lawyer parents to the candidate, or ensuring that two lawyer parents adopt the candidate. You may also graduate from law school and legally adopt the candidate. One less mainstream option for more creative grifters is to defraud the students and lie about the candidate’s

lawyer parents by creating fake LinkedIn accounts with the candidate’s last name.

Step 3: Form alliances with various sports teams.

Approach the women’s teams first because, then, you will attract the support of all. First, women who support women will be happy that you supported women. Second, men who are misogynistic and do not recognize women’s sports will follow the women’s lead because the women are very attractive. Third, the queers have a crush on the women’s athletic teams (definitely not just the opinion of these two author queers). The remaining percentage of non-misogynistic men dwindles so small that it is irrelevant and negligible. Thus, you will have some real votes.

Step 4: Hack Wildcat Sync.

For those who did not take CSC 121:

“Sorry, It’s Just My Allergies” Becomes Most Repeated Phrase on Campus

W

hether it be your roommate coughing up a storm, your peers sniffling and wiping, or your AT sneezing in another language, we can report that one thing is for sure: they’ll all say it’s their “allergies”. If you scoot over, avoid them, or comment on their condition, they’ll be quick to assure you that they’re just allergic to the pollen absolutely beseething campus. They feel there is no need to mosey on over to the health center or alert those in their vicinity because, thankfully, those darned trees and daffodils are just invading their noses right now. This pollen seems to be so bad that, unfortunately, hundreds of students are being afflicted with these bubonic-plague-level allergies. It seems that, in recent weeks, allergies have also become contagious, and sometimes exhibit flu-like symptoms. However, not to worry! If you find yourself coming down with a sore throat that makes you talk as if you’ve been smoking for thirty years, a runny nose that sounds like P.T. Barnum’s elephant when you blow it in class, and coughs that could rival your Great Uncle Johnny’s at Thanksgiving, just remember: go to every social event (they certainly won’t be biohazardous), slobber on the Commons tables, and hug your friends with the same hands you’ve coughed in thirty times.

It’s just your allergies!

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Programming and Problem-Solving, there are four ways to do this. First, steal a student activities director’s phone while they are sleeping, then use Face ID to unlock it. Then it is as simple as saying “Hey Siri, hack WildcatSync.” Those votes are now yours.

The second option is to contact a participant of the Hurt Hub Hackathon 2024, then request their assistance and pay for their silence.

Third, order a package from Amazon. When the mailbox swinging door opens, quickly jump through and enter their system. It should be self-explanatory from there. Fourth, particularly recommended for poli-sci majors, go to the T&I building on Main Street and submit a support ticket. The support ticket says “Plz let me hack.” Because you arrived in person and asked nicely, they will have to oblige, as is the case with all politics.

Step 5: Ignore all these steps and convince 3 people to vote

Old Turner House to Become Above Ground Sex Dungeon Page No Basement

It turns out nobody really votes for these positions anyways so you don’t have to do literally any effort to commit fraud. Studies find that the voting turnout in these elections, especially those sent out in the 5th and 6th round of SGA emails is “Essentially 0, why would you even ask”. If you manage to convince even half of the members of a single group chat you’re in you can get enough votes to win these elections. Odds are you’re running unopposed. Unless you’re pulling a Nikki Haley and losing to “None of these Candidates” it’s virtually impossible to lose.

Get literally anybody to vote for you in these elections and you’re guaranteed to win. If worst comes to worst you can just walk around commons trying to convince a single table of people to pull up the Duo Push to fill out the form. Congrats on your unopposed win! Get ready to do essentially nothing other than to create more Outlook Inbox filler content come election season next year.

Spring Break Predictions

One famous campus couple that has been dating for at least 2 years will break up Widespread food poisoning outbreak among seniors in Punta Cana Chambers Lawn grass will be cut in diagonal stripe pattern when students return 1 ACL tear at ski slopes At least 4 freshman friendship breakups over not being included in spring break plans At least $5,000 in Airbnb cleaning fees assigned to students Less than 3 cumulative books read for personal enjoyment by the student body Over 10 Fake IDs to be confiscated as Davidson kids have to experience a real bar for the first time At least 5 Students plan to stay behind and refuse to come back to school 3 people arrested in Carribbean 1 proposal by campus Christians 6 emails in Outlook inbox concerning fellowship opportunities Structural integrity issue found in new football stadium New Turner house cleansed with sage A KSig brother friendship turns to romance Yowl editor has to write apology email Kroger scandal Student arrested by IRS for not filing taxes because they don’t know what a W-2 is Men’s basketball player becomes TikTok famous 2 girls return with undercuts, 5 men return with mullets Upwards of 1000 beers connsumed collectively by campus population Davidson’s carbon footprint increases 10 fold with all the travel (equivalent to 3 days in Taylor Swift’s life) Someone goes broke in Vegas

New “So Over It” Club Gains Popularity on Campus

Founded at the beginning of the 20232024 school year, the So Over It club is expanding rapidly and growing to be one of the most popular student organizations on campus. Centered around being completely over everything and exacerbated by all the inconveniences of being a Davidson College student, the So Over It club has created a space were students can be just so fucking done with everything together.

The So Over It club hosts events such as ranting sessions, nap times, and burning photos of your ex. Although there is not a weekly set schedule of events because

The

Yowl

the executive board of the club is too over it to care, the So Over It club manages to organize some of the most popular and well participated events.

One of their most recent nap time events included half of the school population. The So Over It club announced that Wednesday was nap day, and at any point in the day, students were encouraged to take a nap. There was no set time or place to take a nap, the event planners were too over it to be strictly organized, so any student could participate.

Participants were encouraged to both frolic and lounge about on Chambers lawn instead

of doing their work. Once again a specific day, time or location was not determined because the Over It Club E-board failed to meet or even text. Sources say that the club is not going to pass the mandatory minimum GPA to continue to exist in the eyes of Student Activities.

The Over It Club is also passively chatting about the prospect of moving into the new abandoned PCC house. This would include absolutely zero changes, members of the club would just wander in and out of the empty house in a haze. The prospect of having to actually put any decorations up would be

WRITERS

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Hugh Jass Editors?

Not funny this week Over it

“I haven’t heard anything funny this week. No one has said anything funny at all.”

- tired editor

way too much work. Instead this house would be like the first page of a book: This space intentionally left blank.

Editor’s Note: The so over it club declined to submit any further writing for this article. We must assume they were too aloof and checked out to even continue writing a joke satire article. Club Meetings are slated to happen somewhere at sometime. The original author of this piece has offered to be contacted for further comment, and can be reached at “Idk man, just like find me wandering around somewhere.”

What your headache and stuffy nose could mean: - flu - covid - strep - not mono because we know you’re not kissing anyone

Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian.

Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth.