davidsonian.news
Current Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson Proves Controversial in Gubernatorial Race
2
Independent Student Journalism Since 1914
March 20, 2024
Anna Farmer ‘27 offers a little’s take on Big Little week and bonding traditions
Ryan Harris ‘26 sheds light on men’s basketball’s early loss in A10 tournament
Now that sports betting is legal, the Yowl suggests best bids on campus
4 5 8
The role of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) in academic institutions is a topic of much debate in the United States and permeates life at Davidson. According to the college website, the school commits to “understand[ing] that cultivating a broadly diverse community is crucial to our educational mission.” At first, one might assume the values of diversity, equity, and inclusion would be accepted as positives. However, alumni have called into question DEI efforts at Davidson, which they see as conflicting with the right to free speech.
This controversy has been stirred up tenfold after the recent publication of an opinion piece in The Charlotte Observer by former Republican North Carolina governor and Davidson alum, Jim Martin ’57, entitled “DEI efforts at Davidson College go too far.”
“Some progressive influencers now want students to learn and accept that they are either ‘oppressed’ or ‘oppressors,’ based on nothing but ‘the color of their skin,’” Martin wrote. He refers to these efforts as “Cynical Race Theory.”
Former Governor Martin’s article was prompted by the mandatory viewing on February 4th of a film entitled “I’m Not Racist…Am I?” for all student-athletes. It was a controversial screening even among students, as many student-athletes chose not to attend. Multiple athletes declined to comment, both those who chose to attend and those who chose not to.
“In [the film’s] lexicon, ‘racist’ is just a synonym for ‘white,’” Martin claimed in his article. He considers it to be an attempt to “indoctrinate America’s youth.” Another alumnus, Richard Tankard ’88, said his issue with the film was that it “purports that all white people are racist.”
Aleia Gisolfi-McCready ’25 organized the screening. She is a member of the Women’s Soccer team and Women’s Track and Field team. She explained her actions were in response to prexisting issues.
“There had been some issues with things being said that
should not have among teammates and I believed this film would benefit the athletic department as a whole and spark much needed conversation,” she said.
In Gisolfi-McCready’s eyes, the event was a success.“Not everyone agreed on all aspects of the film which I think is okay.
It sparked what I was aiming for: conversation,” she said.
Assistant Professor of Communications Dr. Isaac Bailey ‘95 supports Gisolfi-McCready’s efforts and the screening of the film. He also pushed back against DFTD’s arguments and suggested that the screening presented a learning opportunity
even for students who disagreed with the film.
“[She] saw a problem and stepped up to try and provide a solution, precisely the kind of action we want Davidson students to take,” Bailey said. “That it discomforted some student-athletes is not a sign that something bad happened. This is Davidson. Students are supposed to be challenged and think beyond themselves.”
Gisolfi-McCready echoed Bailey’s claims about the importance of DEI. Unlike Former Governor Martin, she feels that DEI expands students’ worldviews rather than pushing a singular perspective.
“It is imperative to create a space where everyone feels respected,” she said. “I don’t believe DEI is an indoctrination in any way. If anything it is continuing education.”
Former Governor Martin connected the film screening to the Davidsonians for Freedom of Thought and Discourse (DFTD), a voluntary alumni nonprofit unaffiliated with the college. According to Executive Director Kevin Cook ’09, the group is “primarily focused on working with students and faculty to enhance and support free speech culture on campus.”
In addition to his academic role, Bailey was the former head of the committee to craft the college’s statement of Commitment to Freedom of Expression. Former President Quillen created this committee to solidify the school’s support of free speech, expression, and academic freedom. Bailey opposes DFTD’s opinions and emphasizes that DEI practices play a key role in the Davidson community and could improve the college’s future.
“[It is] extremely important that Davidson continues to commit to DEI as we try to diversify in a diversifying nation,” Bailey said. Without it, “we won’t be able to create the best environment for academic excellence or prepare our students for the world that’s emerging rather than the one we are leaving behind.”
Bailey also noted that his research conflicts with DFTD’s findings.
CONTINUED ON PAGE 2
North Carolinians took to the polls to cast their ballot in state primary elections on March 5. In the largest story of the night, according to the North Carolina State Board of Elections, almost 13% of voters in the Democratic presidential primary voted “No Preference,” a sharp rebuke of President Joe Biden, the only candidate on the ballot.
There are various reasons for the protest vote in North Carolina. The New York Times highlighted the large population of older voters who registered as Democrats but now vote Republican in presidential elections. Another possibility, and one more tied to young voters at Davidson, is the nationwide call from progressive leaders for voters to cast “uncommitted” ballots in state Democratic primaries, demanding the Biden administration call for a permanent ceasefire to the conflict in Gaza.
The movement has found the most success in Michigan and Minnesota, with 101,000 (13%) and 46,000 (19%) uncommitted ballots cast, respectively. The movement caught the attention of Quinn Dunlap ‘24, President of
Davidson College Democrats. After conferring with the club’s executive board, DC Dems decided to pick a side.
“During the primary election we encouraged people to vote for no preference. We posted that on our Instagram and we were encouraging a lot of people to do it. My only regret is that we didn’t do it sooner,” Dunlap said.
Voting no preference has become a rallying point for progressives, primarily in response to the Biden administration’s handling of the ongoing crisis in Gaza.
“People as a way of protesting would vote uncommitted to get his attention and to show how many Democratic voters are really upset with how he’s been handling it,” Dunlap said.
Though voting no preference has no effect on whether Biden becomes the Democratic nominee for President, it still carries symbolic importance.
“This was an effort to be like: we have the power to go in, put in the effort, actually show up, be politically engaged to say, I know you’re going to win this thing but you don’t have my support until you do something for me as your constituent. So it’s really a way to make one’s vote count,” said Assistant Professor of Sociology Aarushi Bhandari.
In addition to rebuking Biden’s policy, voting no preference offers the administration time to
change course, a step many see as essential to securing their vote in the general election.
“I would hope that the Biden administration would see the large national protests and the amount of rhetoric on social media as clear enough signs that...there are large sections of people who voted for him in 2020 who are very unhappy with him at the moment,” said Elias Henderson ‘24, who is Palestinian and Co-President of the Middle East and North African Students Association. .
“There’s a large section of the vote in the middle that is just happy to see any action at all…a temporary ceasefire is not the solution I want, but it’s way more likely to get me to vote for Biden.”
Across North Carolina, about 89,000 people voted no preference. About 8,000 of those votes came from Mecklenburg County. To Bhandari, these numbers indicate a clear success.
“These are way larger uncommitted numbers than the last two Democratic primaries for president,” Bhandari said. “So they are big numbers, especially because Biden is running unopposed in an election where Democrats already hold office. So the expectation is that he just sweeps these nominations. The fact that people were able to mobilize so many people so quickly to show up to the ballot boxes and
give this protest vote is really a testament to how successful grassroots social movements can be, even local communities like ours.”
Dunlap emphasizes that voting no preference is about more than expressing discontent with the Biden administration.
“[Voting no preference] means that we can [create change]...It means that we are moving more and more towards a system that works for everybody…I think we should have a positive outlook on how this has gone because it means that we’re going to keep making our voices heard.”.
Voters have made their voices heard. Now, Henderson believes it is time for legislators to listen.
“If Democrats want to win this upcoming election, it’s important for them to get in touch with grassroots organizers. Let them explain themselves and simply enact some sort of policy that is attempting to help.”
Ultimately, Henderson emphasizes that the ball is in the Biden administration’s court.
“This uncommitted vote can go two ways. They can either take the sign that they were very clearly given, show a willingness to listen and adopt and move forward, or they can attempt to ignore it, alienate those people from their base, and then they will be circumvented and replaced.”
Lieutenant Governor (Lt. Gov.) Mark Robinson was voted as the North Carolina Republican party nominee for Governor. Over the past few months, his campaign has garnered national attention and faced pushback for his controversial views and statements.
According to his biography, Robinson is a former factory worker and Army veteran from Greensboro, N.C. His recent political career developed from online support. He first made his debut into politics back in 2018 when he delivered a speech to the Greensboro City Council defending the Second Amendment.
Despite his lack of prior experience, Robinson remained steadfast in his political views. “The bottom line is that the Second Amendment was written whether the framers liked it or not. They wrote it for everybody, and I am everybody,” said Robinson in a video of his speech.
Since then he has built his platform on what his biography calls “common-sense conservatism.” According to the official North Carolina website for Lt. Gov. this includes “protecting the life of the unborn, defending the 2nd Amendment, giving control over children’s education back to parents, standing up for law enforcement, addressing veterans’ care, and enacting election reform.”
In 2020 Robinson ran and was elected as the first Black Lt. Gov. of North Carolina. He ran against Democrat Yvonne Lewis Holley and, according to the Raleigh News & Observer, won 51.6 percent to 48.4 percent of the vote.
Chair of Africana Studies and Professor of History Dan Aldridge believes that Robinson’s appeal comes from his loyalty to conservative powerhouses.
“His appeal is being super loyal to Trump, loudly proclaiming all sorts of social conservative and far right clickbait, and being Black,” Aldridge said. “He and his followers can claim that this proves MAGA is not racist.”
In an interview with The Charlotte Observer and News & Editorial editorial boards during his 2020 campaign, Robinson said that the issues his platform was concerned with were ending “indoctrination” in schools — like having students watch CNN — and improving veteran healthcare. “We need to bring an end to partisanship in our classrooms,” Robinson said in the interview.
During his time as Lt. Gov., Robinson created the F.A.C.T.S Task Force: Fairness and Accountability in the Classroom for Teachers
and Students. The advisory board allowed students, teachers, and parents to submit evidence to the task force of harassment, unequal treatment, indoctrination, or inappropriate content in the classroom.
According to the Task Force, “Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson is seeking to provide support for parents, teachers, and most importantly, students who are willing to stand up for North Carolina’s future by exposing indoctrination in the classroom and ensuring that our students are taught how to think - not what to think.”
Now in 2024, Robinson’s campaign for governor of North Carolina still focuses on education, but also characterizes him as a man of the people, a view that his followers support.
“In all of his major speeches, he has
Hill, Robinson won an endorsement from him at a rally on March 2. That same day, Trump called Robinson a “Martin Luther King Jr. on steroids.”
However, now that Robinson is gunning for a larger government position, he is currently under fire for some of his past controversial opinions and statements, especially those regarding women, the L.G.B.T.Q., and slavery.
“I can’t think of one thing he stands for that isn’t rooted in divisiveness and bigotry and the oppression of marginalized groups,” said Sarah Squire, a volunteer for the Greensboro nonprofit Work for Democracy, an organization that focuses on electing progressive candidates to the North Carolina General Assembly.
In 2021, he criticized teachers for teaching about L.G.B.T.Q. and other related topics
emphasized a focus on progress through people, not political elites from cushy backgrounds with a pension for favoring donors and consolidating power, to solve the problems the state faces,” said President of the Davidson Republicans, Stephen Walker ‘26.
Likewise, Robinson’s 2018 speech in Greensboro received a lot of online attention and support. One video posted by ABC11 amassed 800,000 views and 30,000 likes, and one user, @vincent-396, commented that “This guy is smarter than 99% of Congress. He is Presidential. He has my vote.”
Robinson has connections to former United States President and 2024 presidential candidate Donald J. Trump. According to The
such as sexual education in schools.
“There’s no reason anybody anywhere in America should be telling any child about transgenderism, homosexuality, any of that filth. And yes, I called it filth,” Robinson said at Asbury Baptist Church in Seagrove.
Robinson’s comments sparked backlash from elected officials and L.G.B.T.Q. advocacy groups who wanted him to step down from his position as Lt. Gov. His statement was condemned by the Human Rights Campaign, the White House, and prominent Democratic lawmakers. The White House called his statements “repugnant and offensive.”
Despite being the first Black Lt. Gov. and potentially the first Black governor of North
Carolina, Robinson has criticized the Civil Rights Movement. In a 2018 interview with the podcast “Politics and Prophecy” with host Chris Levels on Freedomizer Radio, Robinson said, “so many things were lost during the Civil Rights Movement. So many freedoms were lost during the Civil Rights Movement. They shouldn’t have been lost.”
Political figures on both sides of the spectrum have pondered whether or not these remarks will prohibit Robinson’s chances of election. The Democratic nominee for governor, Josh Stein, believes that Robinson is an extremist Republican who could endanger North Carolina’s future.
“He wants to turn back the clock on our promise and threaten our economic future. He is not only an extremist, he is a fringe extremist,” Stein said in an interview with NPR.
Others, like Aldridge, think that he still has a chance due to his relationship with Former President Trump.
“He has a good chance of winning if Trump carries North Carolina in November,” said Aldridge.
Another prominent question for this election is whether or not Robinson will receive support from African Americans.
On Facebook in 2017, Robinson stated that Black people who voted for Democrats “don’t realize they are slaves and don’t know who their masters are.”
Aldridge, in agreement with many others such as Cliff Albright, co-founder and executive director of Black Votes Matter, does not think that Robinson will win the Black vote.
“He will attract the same voters who vote for Donald Trump in November. He will not, I believe, get much of the Black vote,” Aldridge said. According to the Pew Research Center, only 8% of Black voters voted for Trump in 2016.
Albright also told The Hill that he doubted that Robinson could win the Black vote in a recent interview, largely due to his comments about the Civil Rights movement. “Folks get highly insulted and highly motivated [by these remarks], even when it’s a Black person making those comments.”
Robinson’s campaign has made it to Davidson College. The Republican nominee has the College Republicans’ full support.
“We are now proud, as the Davidson College Republicans, to wholeheartedly, unapologetically endorse Mark Robinson for governor of this great state,” Walker said.
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
“The overall free expression environment at Davidson is healthy [according to surveys],” Bailey said.
Bailey acknowledged there is room for improvement. The reason students might be reluctant to engage in conversations is because “most of us don’t like being judged as being ‘wrong,’ or labeled as something worse,” Bailey said.
Bailey agrees that DFTD has the right to disagree with campus policies, and supports the diverse expression of thought in any form.
“They express their disagreements with what we are doing on campus. I truly believe in embracing a diversity of thought, even those I disagree with, and I passionately disagree with a lot of what I’ve seen them do,” said Bailey.
However, Bailey does not feel that DFTD should be able to change campus policies.
“That does not mean groups [they] should get to dictate policy or practices by professors or others just because they disagree with what we are doing. They have […] been a barrier to my efforts of trying to build even more support for free expression […] speech and academic freedom even while saying they want the same thing,” said Bailey.
Bailey expressed frustration with DFTD’s actions throughout the process of trying to craft the Commitment to Freedom of Expression statement.
“I had to work with several different groups, to build up trust
across ideological and other lines. Time and again, I had to convince people to not let their distrust of DFTD oppose those efforts [...] past DFTD actions have turned a lot of people off and led to lots of distrust,” said Bailey.
DFTD currently takes issue with the anti–oppression statements found in some syllabi. For example, a Spanish 101 Syllabus calls students to “recognize and critically reflect on the benefits and costs of your privileges, in particular, your complicity in upholding systems of oppression” and to “set anti-oppression goals.” In his article, former Governor Martin described this “inclusive shaming” as “foolishness” that “demonize[s]” students to “attract students from those they considered victimized minorities.”
Cook agrees with this opinion. “The syllabus does not align with DEI as it is not inclusive,” Cook said. Cook and DFTD believe such statements to be unnecessary in syllabi as “antioppression goals aren’t closely related to Spanish 10.”
DFTD cites the American Association of University Professors statement which calls colleges to avoid controversial materials not having to do with the subject in teaching course material.
Cook does not believe Davidson should be implementing policies like the syllabi statements on an institutional level.
“The JEC [Justice, Equality, Community] requirement is representative of what needs to happen on the institutional level,” Cook argued.
According to the college’s website, courses fulfilling the JEC requirement “address the manifestations of justice and equality
in various communities, locales, nations or regions, and focus on methods and theories used to analyze, spotlight, or remedy instances of injustice and inequality.”
Bailey is of the opposing viewpoint and argued that professors should be able to craft their syllabi in this manner. He also questions whether DFTD truly supports free speech.
“I trust my colleagues…if some of them feel [the antioppression statements] are needed in their classrooms, I’m not going to question their decision unless I have evidence of real harm or discrimination that has resulted against any students— evidence I have simply not seen yet from anyone,” Bailey said.
“If there is no discomfort or disagreement apparent, dare I say that would suggest an unhealthy free expression environment.”
According to Bailey, Cook and DFTD’s assessment of the free speech issues at Davidson are incorrect.
“There’s just little evidence that the college itself suppresses free expression in a widespread way,” said Bailey.
Bailey also is concerned that DFTD’s statements present an inaccurate image of the academic environment at Davidson.
“It’s extremely disappointing that DFTD has been accusing Davidson of indoctrinating students. That’s highly offensive on a personal and professional level, creates distrust, and sends the public a false message about what goes on here,” Bailey said.
Lt. Gov. Robinson speaks at a Trump rally. Photo by Veasey Conway for The New York Times.Davidson will not have classes on Friday, March 29 in honor of what the formal academic calendar calls “Break Day.” However, this aptly named “Break Day” has raised questions about the College’s ability to serve its religiously pluralistic student body. Although not acknowledged in the college calendar, “Break Day” is the same day as Good Friday. In the Davidson holiday calendar, Friday March 29th is formally recognized as a day off for Easter.
The Davidson community is reminded of the college’s Christian roots by allocating “Break Day” leading up to Easter. Presbyterians founded the College, and its religious ties continue to shape it. As noted on Davidson’s website, “Davidson College maintains a voluntary affiliation with the Presbyterian Church (USA), one of several denominations that are part of a broader Christian movement known as the Reformed Tradition.”
At least 25% of the Board of Trustees are Presbyterian, and Davidson does not give days off from classes on any other religious holidays, aside from Christmas which occurs over winter break. The decision to cancel classes on Good Friday raises the question of how to best recognize and honor the religious plurality at the school. During the 2022-2023 school year, Davidson 63.6% of students identified with some denomination of Christianity, 4.2% identified as Jewish, 1.7% as Muslim, 1.2% as Hindu and 1% as Buddhist.
“How do you honor everybody without having a kind of normative gaze out of which you do that honoring? That really just disvalues the other people,” said Associate Chaplain for Buddhist Programming Ivan Mayerhofer. “But like, could you have an […] .official holiday for every major tradition? We’d have a lot of days off, we’d never have school.” “We live in a [non-Orthodox] Christian normative society, whether people like it or not [...]. That we would get Good Friday off here is not surprising given the history of Davidson College.”
College Chaplain and Director of Religious
and Spiritual Life Julia Watkins described how Davidson’s connection to the church continues to shape its campus culture.
“Right now, Davidson still is a church related college, which means that we were undergirded by some of these Presbyterian values,” Watkins said. “I talk about them as a groundwater effect more than as a top-down effect. Here maybe 30, 40 years ago, there was more of a top-down effect. So now, you know, they might inform our values; they might inform some of the systems that are still in place. But there’s, for example, no longer a bylaw that says that the President needs to be an active member of [Davidson College Presbyterian Church] so some things have shifted kind of in that direction.”
Striking a balance between supporting a pluraity of religious observances and retaining a narrative of a Christian heritage leading up to Easter proves to be an interesting dilemma for Davidson, as the college has chosen to name the day off “Break Day” on its official academic calendar, only recognizing it as “Easter” on the college holiday schedule.
“Personally, for me, I think we should just call it Easter break, because that’s what it is,”
said Co-President of the Jewish Student Union Noah Landau.“It’s Good Friday, it’s Easter Sunday. I don’t think it’s a bad thing…If you celebrate Easter, you should say ‘okay, this is Easter break.’”
Landau expressed that, while he wishes the college canceled classes for non-Christian holidays too, he understands that it is logistically difficult.
“In a perfect world, I would love to have these really important [non-Christian] holidays for everyone to take off. But, like logistically looking at the percentage of people who go to this school it wouldn’t really benefit the majority…whereas with Easter, I know that a large population of the school will be going home and celebrating with family,” Landau said.
While the college does not cancel classes on any non-Christian holidays, Landau said that his professors have been supportive of his religious identity and observances.
“We don’t necessarily get the day off [for Jewish holidays] but we are able to have excused absences for our classes,” Landau said.
Watkins suggested that while Davidson
faculty usually understand that a student cannot attend class for religious reasons, students still appreciate official recognition in the form of a day off from class.
“In my experience, so far, faculty are pretty supportive if a student [...] needs to be away from class that day,” Watkins said. “That said, it’s hard to be kind of on one’s own [...] if the entire campus is going about business as usual.”
The Chaplain’s office also serves as a resource in advocating for students who are called to celebrate religious holidays that are not included in Davidson’s calendar.
“...having an office that specifically supports religious and spiritual life on campus as a matter of equity, and by committing to supporting students’ religious observances, we help bolster sort of the inclusivity of our campus,” Watkins said.
Mayerhofer mirrored this sentiment and spoke to work he is doing to advocate for further recognition for religious holidays across traditions.
“In an awesome, healthy case like our Chaplain’s office, we’re trying to change the culture around what people see [...] a valid reason for taking a break,” he said. “If you don’t have people like us advocating for like Ramadan or Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashanah as important days to take off then [...] the message doesn’t get out there and professors may not know and then that student stands alone and has to go to the professor alone and be like, ‘I can’t be here.’”
Watkins encouraged all students to take advantage of their day off from classes during “break day” irrespective of their religious background.
“I hope people do take a break on that Friday, whatever that looks like for them and that it’s a net positive,” Watkins said.
Mayerhofer acknowledged the work yet to be done in recognizing religious observances across traditions at Davidson.
“There’s a delicate question about how to honor plurality from an official sign that hasn’t really been reckoned with appropriately...Do you just take away the holidays? I wouldn’t advocate for that either. So I just don’t know what the answer is.”
The end of the spring semester is near, and buzz around campus surrounding summer plans and internships is almost palpable. The caliber of students that a school like Davidson attracts, highly motivated and career-driven, makes for impressive and not so restful summer plans. Regardless of the major in question, it seems as if 90% of Davidson students are seeking internships and future-career-oriented summer work.
While this high level of motivation and drive for success is certainly a positive attribute of Davidson students, it is difficult to deny the negative consequences of such a mindset. Summer internships, while providing students with real-life learning experience that is difficult to obtain through a classroom, also include some drawbacks that are less acknowledged. The time and effort that must go into the internship application process, as well as living expenses and low or non paying gigs are all factors that must be considered.
Ask any student here who has been through the internship application process; all said and done, it is essentially another class on the schedule. In my experience, applications required multiple trips to the career center for resume fine-tuning, as well as multiple seminars discussing application processes and techniques. Once these things are established, the applications themselves take a significant
amount of time and effort. Looking for an internship in the world of politics and government, I was recommended to submit a minimum of 30 applications. Of those 30 applications, I heard back from three. I don’t offer this information to draw attention to what felt like a personal failure at the time, but rather to illustrate how difficult and often fruitless the application process truly is. Being accepted to an internship that fully aligns with your career goals and you are genuinely interested in is an accomplishment on its own.
If receiving an internship isn’t hard enough, working out financial and living considerations adds a whole other piece to the puzzle. Most internship opportunities pay little to no money at all, and although the experiences gained will ultimately make up for that, this is not a factor that everyone can simply ignore. Therefore, for many students, the internship application process is directly preceded by the internshipgrant application process. Davidson students are lucky because the school provides lots of funding opportunities for students. However, the tedious process of applying is certainly prevalent. Even with provided grants, many students are happy to just break even come the end of the summer, as low wages and living expenses make it difficult to save up.
One aspect of summer internships that may not be relevant for all students, but was certainly a big consideration for me, is the thought of being away from home. For many Davidson students, winter and summer break are essentially the only times we get to spend
at home with friends and family. So, the idea of losing a majority of this time at home wasn’t easy to come to terms with. Do I value time with family and friends over working towards my future? That is not an easy decision to make.
Considering all these factors, it is somewhat surprising how common summer internships are for Davidson students. I feel that a big reason for this is the pressure that students face from the determination and motivation of their peers. There is almost a sense that without a summer internship, you will not be successful following graduation. It is feelings like these that I think contribute to the high-strung and somewhat ill-informed minds of students in the “Davidson bubble.” Summer internships will certainly move your career in the right direction, no doubt about it, but the feelings of necessity towards them are, I believe, far from the truth.
Some students will be spending weeks in Africa studying biology, others will be working for Congress on Capitol Hill, and others may be headed home to work as a waiter or camp counselor. It is my belief that all these plans should warrant the same amount of respect and significance. Although varying greatly in their content, each of these options will ultimately aid students in achieving their goals following their time at Davidson.
Comparing yourself to your peers is something I think we all do, and it is not necessarily a bad thing. This comparison is part of what makes Davidson students so
During Big/Little Week, no little is safe from a surprise public encounter with their biggest campus crush. Despite this fear, I must admit that the week was truly memorable. I was reminded of how lucky I am to be at Davidson, where events such as Big/Little make new members of each eating house feel welcomed and connected to the campus community.
I have been impressed with the autonomy given to me throughout the whole process of joining Rusk Eating House. I filled out a questionnaire, and my surprises, gifts, and deliveries were entirely based on my answers. I cannot say I knew exactly what to expect going into the week, but I could not have asked for a better experience.
It all began Sunday evening when I received a mysterious email from a certain annasbighehehe@gmail.com: “hello ms farmer...TOMORROW. 5 PM. 2ND UNION. SOMEONE IS WAITING FOR YOU. kiss kiss - your mother.” I kept in communication with this anonymous email user for the entire week.
I felt nothing but excitement for this first surprise as I sat waiting on 2nd Union the next day at exactly 5pm with two other friends. The quiet buzz of the students in Union quickly died as someone dressed in an inflatable moon costume blasting the song “Talking to the Moon” by Bruno Mars came running towards me. It was no one other than Taeree Kim, one of my friends from the cheerleading team who I had listed as a “campus celebrity” on the questionnaire. I received my first basket, full of my favorite treats and goodies.
Later that night, I ventured with one of my best friends, Tammy, who had also been instructed by her big to go to Union for a surprise. We opened the door and immediately were hit by a gorgeous rendition of Countdown by Beyonce, sung to us by the Davidson Delilahs. Almost knocked off our feet by the strong energy and power coming from these talented women, we couldn’t help but dance along.
Considering the potential publicity of the deliveries, it is fair that some may be intimidated by these surprises and serenades. Once again, the presence of choice became ever-important in the fact that we could specify on our questionnaires our preferences for types of deliveries. Many of my friends even shared that some of their other friend’s bigs reached out to confirm that the little would be alright with a given surprise. No surprise my friends or I received was so out of our comfort
zone that we felt a sense of humiliation or shame. A little embarrassment from something such as being directly sung at in the public space of Union was nothing we couldn’t laugh off. I would even say that it made the surprise that much more exciting.
As the week carried on, I continued to receive such thoughtful and well-thought-out baskets from my big, delivered by friends and campus celebrities. Perhaps my favorite delivery of the week was Thursday. Six of my friends in Rusk and I received similar messages to meet on Chambers lawn at 7:20pm. We arrived right as the sun began to set and found a beautiful picnic set up for us. Popping some of the sparkling apple juice left on the blanket, we shared stories from the day and enjoyed each other’s presence.
Suddenly, the front door of Chambers opened and out strolled no one other than one of my other campus celebrities, Noah Landau. Noah had on the staple “Chick Frat” shirt commonly worn by some of our favorite Rusk sophomores. In his hand was a basket full of goodies, which he brought right to me. Our excitement only grew as more campus celebrities continued to walk out of Chambers every five minutes or so, delivering baskets to each of my friends. Following Noah, some notable celebrities my friends received their baskets from included Elias the club soccer player, a freshman referred to by our friends as “Tall John”, and “Emo Soccer Boy” from the men’s soccer team. By the time the sun had fully set, our stomachs were full of chocolate cake (delivered by Emo Soccer Boy) and our hearts were full of love.
The final basket delivery of the week certainly lived up to the grand finale ideal, exceeding any expectations I could have possibly had. Told to meet at the main basketball court of Baker Sports Complex at 5pm, I knew there was only one person who could be waiting. Thankfully, two of my other friends were instructed to also be at Baker at 5pm. In the excitement for this final delivery, we made matching t-shirts with the words I LOVE SEAN LOGAN in bold marker across the front. We debated for quite a long time over whether or not it would be too crazy to actually wear them. Perhaps making the wrong decision, we walked with our shirts on full display and an extra pep in our step to Baker at 5pm on Friday.
Sure enough, we walked onto the court to find men’s basketball player, Sean Logan, with three baskets at his feet. He was a great sport through the whole ordeal, just as all of the other campus celebrities had been earlier in the week. He told us we had to make a free throw shot before we could receive our basket and laughed as it took my roommate eleven tries before
uniquely driven; we are surrounded by individuals set on putting in the work to achieve their goals. However, I think it is common to get roped into thinking that there is only one right way to go about this, especially at a small school like ours where word spreads quickly. At the end of the day, each of us will leave Davidson with different skills and experiences, so the desire to be uniform in our methods of getting there is uncalled for. Summer internships are great, but they are also time consuming, expensive, and often impractical. In my perspective, they are one of about a hundred different ways to make the months spent away from Davidson worthwhile.
All of this being said, I feel almost hypocritical to say that I will be interning in DC this coming summer. It is for this reason that I can truly attest to the pressure faced by Davidson students to seek out and take advantage of these opportunities. Surely pressure to be driven and motivated is a positive thing, but I think it is important to periodically remind myself that at Davidson, we are surrounded by students who hold themselves to a higher standard than can be said of other institutions.
actually making the shot.
On Saturday, our bigs were revealed. I was over the moon to learn that mine is the wonderful Violet Calkin. It was incredibly clear that Violet put so much care and thought into the entire week and I cannot thank her enough. Violet, if you are reading this…YOU ROCK. As the week comes to a close, I am left so grateful and excited for the fun times yet to come.
‘27
The Davidson women’s lacrosse team (4-5, 1-1 in A-10) began the A-10 portion of their schedule on Saturday, March 9 with a convincing 16-7 victory over La Salle. The ‘Cats designated their first conference game as their senior game, so friends and family of the class of 2024 filled out the bleachers at Richardson Stadium. Fittingly, the attack was led by a trio of seniors, Lauren Garcia ‘24, Julianne Carey ‘24, and Caroline Moran ‘24. Together, they combined for 6 goals and 3 assists in the win.
Carey highlighted that the bond between the team and their families made the experience special.
“[Senior day] was really awesome. I think Davidson, the lacrosse team, and the parents and families as a whole did a great job…there was a lot of excitement around all of [the seniors] being able to play together,” Carey said.
Head Coach Kim Wayne raved about the resiliency of this senior core. She also took the chance to mention another reason to celebrate her seniors: their lost high school COVID-19 season.
“It’s the year that you put everything that you have into it because, you know, it’s your last,” Wayne said. “So, missing out on that in high school is heartbreaking…we were celebrating almost like a second senior year.”
Following a defeat at Richmond over the weekend, the ‘Cats now turn their attention to a huge game against VCU on Wednesday, March 20. Coach Wayne said the team is particularly looking forward to this game and called VCU “a team that’s always given us a very close, tough game. I think that they’re athletic, they’re fierce, they’re a really, really good
Tteam and their record shocks me–they’ve lost games that they should have won.”
Coinciding with the opening of Field 76, the game against VCU will be the first chance for the lacrosse team to play in the new stadium. According to Carey, the team eagerly anticipates this opportunity.
Important games against St. Bonaventure and St. Joe’s also loom on the horizon. The ‘Cats lost to the latter in overtime last year, fueling a sense of unfinished business in Carey and the
“Looking back, we probably should have won that game. We all worked really hard the entire game and put our all into it and then coming up on the losing side hurt,” Carey said. “But I think this year, we know that we can beat them, so [we are] looking forward to and preparing for that game.”
Carey made her expectations and the team’s goals for the rest of the season clear. “Our goal is to win the A-10 and make the NCAA tournament,” Carey said.
he overtime buzzer sounding in the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York this past Tuesday signaled the end of the 2023-24 campaign for Davidson’s men’s basketball team. This tough final loss of the season, which came against the Fordham Rams in the first round of the A-10 Tournament, marked the team’s sixth straight loss to close the season.
To make the loss all the more unfortunate for Davidson, the Wildcats only trailed for the first two minutes of regulation, when the score was 2-0. A last-second layup by Fordham’s Kyle Rose allowed the Rams to bring the score back to even, representing the first time that the ‘Cats gave up control of the lead since the 15-minute mark in the 1st half. This took the game to overtime, where the ‘Cats could not seem to regain control of the game on either end of the floor. The Wildcats gave up a 10-2 run, and the Rams sent Davidson home with a score of 71-63.
This heartbreaking overtime loss for the Davidson Wildcats seemed to sum up the course
of the season pretty well. The ‘Cats saw three of their regular season games go to overtime and lost all three contests. Throughout conference play, the Wildcats struggled and went 5-13
stretch without Skogman, the ‘Cats dropped seven out of their last nine games to close out the season. This put them in a tough spot as the #13 seed in the A-10 Tournament, which proved
against A-10 competition. The team played without their leading scorer and rebounder David Skogman ‘24 for the last month of the season, as he underwent foot surgery that would end his senior campaign early. During this
to be one of the most competitive, upset-filled conference tournaments in the country this year. To pour salt on the wound of this ending to the Wildcats’ 2023-24 campaign, the ‘Cats have to say goodbye to star senior guard and captain,
Grant Huffman ‘24, who has been an important piece of the squad’s success throughout his collegiate career. His prowess as a floor general got more recognition than ever this season, when he led the conference in assists.
Despite the loss of these integral pieces, this season did provide reason to be hopeful for the ‘Cats. The ‘Cats saw strong performances on the floor this past year from young stars including Bobby Durkin ‘27, Reed Bailey ‘26, and Sean Logan ‘26. Logan ‘26, ranked near the top of the leaderboards nationally in shot blocks per game, recorded a career-high six blocks against Fordham in the first round of the A-10 Tournament. Young stars Bailey ‘26 and Durkin ‘27 proved that they can be positive contributors in the development of the Davidson offense moving forward. The two had noticeable impacts throughout their sophomore and freshman campaigns, respectively.
The ‘Cats will aim to improve next season and into the future with these young pieces in the post-Bob McKillop era. They hope to take more steps toward once again building their way back atop the A-10 and into the NCAA Tournament.
Temple. Sam Cochran ‘24 said that this was one of his favorite parts of the trip.
If there were not already plenty of reasons to become an Art History major, here is another one. For this spring break, the senior Art History majors headed to Japan for nine days thanks to a major gift given each year by Davidson parent Laurie McRee. According to Stephanie Glaser ‘92, the Associate Vice President for Campus & Community Relations, McRee is “an art lover who understands the power of seeing art in person.”
Dr. John Corso-Esquivel, the current chair of the Art department, spoke about the intentions behind this trip.
“This trip is one of the aspects of the redesigned Art History major, which is deeply student-centered and also tries to broaden destinations to include new places as a way to augment our coursework,” Corso-Esquivel said.
We chose this location as a class in the fall as a part of our Senior Capstone. It benefited our interest in Japanese art and architecture and also provided the opportunity to travel to a place where many of us had never been.
We decided to go to the cities of Tokyo, Kyoto, and Hiroshima and found that each city had something different to offer in terms of art, culture, and cuisine. The trip was full of educational endeavors, boisterous fun, and some of us even got a little food poisoning along the way.
We started our trip bright and early, leaving from the VAC at three a.m. to head to the airport. After our thirteen hour flight from Chicago, we landed in Tokyo on Saturday afternoon, bewildered by the time difference. We stayed in a hotel in the fashionable Shibuya district in Tokyo, and our trip got off to a quick start with a full day in the Ueno district, where we visited the Tokyo National Museum and the famous Yanaka neighborhood of Taito. The next day, we explored the Nihonbashi commercial district, which is the home to a collection of centuries old paint tools, brush, and paper shops. On our last full day in Tokyo, we were able to experience a session of Zazen meditation and a tea ceremony at Shoun-ji
“It was a really moving experience for me,” Cochran said. “I think the whole process of seating the guests, preparing the water, preparing the utensils used for the tea, the specific way in which the tea was poured, and the proper way to drink the tea was fascinating.”
Cochran learned a lot about the culture of Japanese tea ceremonies and enjoyed the craft and the care with which the bowls and tea were treated.
“The intentionality behind each aspect of the whole experience was powerful,” Cochran said. “Getting to see and handle a four hundred year old tea bowl, and to learn that it is still in use, was a deeply moving experience.”
Next, we got on the Shinkansen, or the bullet train, to head to Kyoto and then Nara, where we saw the Kasuga Taisha Shinto shrine and Todai-ji Temple. Our group thoroughly enjoyed feeding the famous deer at Nara, but Kaiyan Wang ‘24 commented that “humans have spoiled the deers at Nara, so they hit and bite people, even [Corso-Esquivel] got bitten on his thighs.”
Nonetheless, Wang felt blessed at the Buddhist temples and Shinto shrines that we visited and found that the fortunes reflected her state of mind. My own fortune predicted a prolonged illness, which foreshadowed my food poisoning on the plane back from Tokyo to Chicago.
We had a full day of traveling in Kyoto the next day. We saw the Fushimi-Inari Taisha shrine, Kiyomizudera Temple, the Silver Pavilion, and the Golden Pavilion. Our last stop that day was the mysterious Ryoan-ji temple and rock garden. Caroline Sillars ‘24 explained that she was “doubtful of its auspiciousness, but after spending time at the site and discussing its history with classmates, I grew to love the mysticality of the rock garden.”
Our last day was in Miyajima and Hiroshima, where we saw the Peace Museum and Park and our group placed paper cranes in the Children’s Peace Memorial. It was a powerful experience and compelled us to reckon with our country’s history there.
Japan provided new artistic insight and inspiration by exposing us to a completely new culture which many of us had never experienced. This year’s senior Art History majors were able to see the most famous Shinto and Zen Buddhist shrines in Japan while also exploring the art practices of the current day mingling with those of the past.
Brown Payne ‘24 is an Art History Major from Nashville, TN who went on this trip and can be reached for comment at brpayne@davidson.edu.
record one part of a two or three minute song.”
Four distinct groups occupy the Davidson a capella scene: The Davidson Delilahs, Davidson Androgyny, The Nuances, and The Davidson Generals. These groups hope to produce fun, entertaining performances for the Davidson community. Davidson Androgyny and The Nuances are self-described as “coed” and “mixed voice,” respectively, but The Delilahs are composed of soprano/ alto singers and the Generals are all tenor/ bass. Two of the groups, the Delilahs and the Nuances, have been hard at work this semester recording their newest albums.
The Delilahs have sung at Davidson since 1998 and produced eight albums. Maren Lawee ‘26 explained the recording process for the Delilahs and provided insight into the exciting, collaborative projects that oncampus a cappella groups are producing.
“My recording process with the Delilahs has been really awesome,” Lawee said. “I’ve actually arranged or helped arrange a few of the songs that we’ve been recording, so that’s really cool to hear a whole new score come to life and go from sheet music to a full recording where it’ll eventually be on an album or a streaming service somewhere.” The Delilahs’ most recent album, Sweet Like Candy, was released last spring and can be found on Spotify, Apple Music, and on CD.
This year, the Delilah’s are starting the recording process for their newest album. They record off campus at a studio called Liquid 5th, which specializes in recording a cappella scores. According to Lawee, on a typical day of recording, the Delilahs will use “five different recording booths at a time.”
Lawee also explained that “a whole voice part will go and they’ll all go in their own booth. We’ll sing through the song, with many stops, so it takes about forty-five minutes to
Different singing roles in the Delilah’s songs include backup singers, soloists, and a beatboxer. All of these parts must be recorded separately, with this process being repeated for each song.
Recording is a lengthy, tedious process. However, Lawee points out that it’s incredibly
rewarding.
“We can do about two songs in one day, working from around eight in the morning to eight o’clock at night,” Lawee said. “We all are very close and have a really good bond.
And I think recording is a really cool way to bond more. It’s definitely very collaborative, and we all just cheer each other on.”
The Delilahs have two more one-day sessions
at the recording studio this semester. Lawee said that next year, “we will record four more songs and then we’ll have a whole album. So it’s a very exciting, long process, but lots of fun.”
William Lowance ‘27 sings with The Nuances, who also record at Liquid 5th, and was recently in the studio.
“We’ve recorded four songs so far. It was cool to be in a professional environment and see what the process is actually like,” Lowance said.
Lowance explained the details of their recording process.
“There are not many rules around it. When we’re recording, we each have our own mic. We usually record different parts at a time,
[whoever is singing] will be in a side room and everyone else would be sitting in the booth with the recording guy just vibing out with him, listening to the music,” Lowance said.
The Nuances have recorded four songs for their new album so far. Their last album, Sundays at Seven, came out in 2020 and Lowance said the group is “looking to start recording [albums] more often.”
The songs recorded by the Nuances are given a personal touch by the group.
“[They are] all covers, but most of them are original arrangements by current or past members of The Nuances,”
You may have recently seen The Delilahs and The Nuances around campus giving Big/Little serenades or heard them perform in concert. The Delilahs have their biggest performance of the year coming up at the Union Board’s weekly Live Thursday. Lawee previewed the event for The Davidsonian.
“We’re gonna be singing all of our repertoire and it’s Twilight themed,” Lawee said. “We’re all dressing up in Twilight costumes. There’s gonna be a really funny skit about the movie. We’re going to sing all of our songs, including some new songs that haven’t been heard before. We’re definitely excited for a full performance.”
To see the Delilahs perform head over to the 900 room at 10:00 pm on Thursday, the 21st. The Nuances also have a Live Thursday event coming up in April, where students can listen to their year’s worth of work.
Julia Richards ‘27 (She/Her) is from Charleston, South Carolina and can be reached for comment at jurichards@davidson. edu.
The acronym “GOAT” is often thrown around haphazardly. Standing for “Greatest Of All Time,” we as a species are far too liberal with what we attach this label to. Do well on a test? You’re the GOAT. Commons has chicken parmesan for lunch? It’s GOATED. The overuse has diluted the value of what was once held only for truly exceptional individuals.
Fortunately, there may be one Davidson student who can truly call himself the GOAT of what has quickly become a popular campus tradition: Humans vs. Zombies. Jack Barnett, a current senior, is a three-year veteran and two-time winner of the sport. Because of COVID-19, Humans vs. Zombies was not held his freshman year, so his career began as a sophomore. Jack won as a human that year, giving him his first championship. Controversial rules and unfortunate timing caused Jack to walk away from the sport his junior year, so although he played and didn’t win, there’s much debate surrounding whether this should affect his legacy. He was never tagged by a zombie and technically didn’t lose either. These factors caused Jack to return with a vengeance his last year in the league. His plan?
“Since I’m a senior, my goal was to get the most kills as a zombie and then get resurrected and win as a human.”
Jack originally asked to be patient zero, the first zombie in the game, but he wasn’t picked. Three freshmen were selected, but “they didn’t kill anyone for two or three hours. So [the organizers] wrote me an email asking me if I wanted to be patient 0.5.”
This was on Monday night. Obviously, Jack accepted. On Tuesday morning, Jack and his friend/
first kill Jacob Hertzinger went to Chambers thirty minutes early in order to begin their conquest.
Like real zombies, there is no common process for killing or a certain type of person that Jack favors.
“I went for everyone. Anybody I saw, I’m chasing them down.”
That winning mentality served Jack well, as he racked up 32 kills on Tuesday. Yes, in one day, giving him 33 total. Has the game seen these type of numbers before? Only halfway through the promise he made, Jack revived himself on Wednesday via winning a scavenger hunt. Surviving Thursday, it all came down to Friday for Jack to cement himself as possibly the best to ever do it.
“The humans had to get into Union and there were zombies patrolling the outside… there were super zombies too. They were in these huge giant yellow blow up suits. The normal zombies couldn’t go in the building, but the super ones could.”
Jack won, along with a few others. Looking back in Humans vs. Zombies history, this is an unprecedented run. To go from taking out so many humans as a zombie to then winning the event is something few have even attempted, let alone achieved.
When asked if he considers himself the GOAT, Jack had this to say: “I don’t know if I would consider myself the GOAT of zombies, but I think I’ve earned the title of GOAT of the event as a whole. This year, I got the most kills as a zombie and I won as a human. I haven’t heard of anyone doing that so far.”
There are others who can at least make a case. Jack himself stated that alum Peter Rock “was pretty
crazy. I remember him chasing me on a bike.”
Peter was known to really get in the headspace of a brain-eating, undead monster. He considered humans “sniveling cowards” and, strangely, loved going after English majors. Peter was patient zero one year and claims to have tagged 567 people in one day. The Union Board has vehemently denied this, so the public is unsure how dominant Peter truly was in his era.
Current senior Andrew Rice also went on a tear his sophomore year, infecting at least 22 humans. Like all GOAT debates, there are so many what-ifs, especially with Jack. What if he got his COVID-19 year back? What if he played his junior year out?
These are impossible to answer, but if one thing is certain, Jack has done all he could to leave a lasting legacy in the sport. Does that make him the greatest of all time? The numbers don’t lie.
Irreverent student journalism since 2004. Castigat Ridendo Mores.
yowl.com/lonesomeeditor
Is it Okay to Check the Text that Appeared on my Apple Watch While Doing it? And Other Sex Etiquette from the Student Health Advisors Page Multitasking
March 20, 2024
Yikes: Couple Having Breakup Over Text Being Observed by Entire Class Sitting Behind Guy on Macbook
Page Live Drama Show
New Whoop that Vibrates when Horny Takes Fitness Apparel Market by Storm Page Patented
Worst things to have up on computer when in view of class crush:
• Complete nyt mini in 3+ minutes (multiple “almost there!” Notifications)
• Connections fail w/o a single category
• Google “connections hints”
• 6 wordle guesses, 2 correct letters
• Email from your doctor subject line “your fungal toenail”
• Trump campaign email in inbox
• Biden campaign email in inbox
• Completing homework assignment for class whilst in class
• Google word professor/classmate just said
• Handshake Sparknotes open
• 2048 cupcakes
• Instagram first suggested search is class crush
• March Madness filled out bracket predicting zero upsets
• Twitter porn
• 39,271 unread emails (indicates that you’re unorganized)
• Full Outlook calendar (indicates that you’re unavailable)
• “Yowl article” Google Doc open
TBest things to have up on your computer when in view of class crush:
• Complete NYT mini in sub 15 seconds
• Connections on the first try
• Received emails from various secret admirers
• Open assignment with feedback from professor, gracefully click through glowing comments
• Submit homework assignment 2 days early
• Receive multiple crush invites from all fraternities/eating houses on campus
• Google “why am I so hot and funny”
• Multiple summer internship offer emails hit inbox
• Balance impeccable class note-taking with “I know all of this already” computer browsing Halfway through longform New Yorker essay that is very Intelligent and also Cultured
• Updating goodreads: you finished your yearly reading goal in march
• Full time job offer letter at Deloitte with six figure salary included in email
• March Madness filled out bracket with at least five significant upsets in first round
• 527 unread messages (indicates that you’re popular)
• Empty Outlook calendar (indicates that you’re boring and have no hobbies)
he Davidson Police, who have only ever busted parties and given out speeding tickets to people going 3 mph over, recently got their first real criminal case: theft. Last Wednesday, Stacy Hornsby ‘26 went to pick up her package from the Luis Amazon lockers, but when she went to type in the code, it appeared that the package had already been picked up. This must have been a mistake, she thought. But when she checked Amazon, it appeared that her package had been removed from the lockers.
“I was shocked. How did someone know what I bought?
And how did they know the code?” Hornsby told us. “I was a bit embarrassed to report it to campus police, but I paid $100 for the package, and I wasn’t about to lose all the money.”
Officer Greg Spedomiter received the report and was immediately on the case. “When she made the report, the department got to work on an investigation. We had to help this girl get her Rechargeable Magic Wand.”
Word quickly spread around campus, as theft is a major honor code violation. Police began interviewing the student body to try to narrow down a suspect.
After two days of intense questioning, the suspects were narrowed down to three women: Casey Canto ‘25, who’s been overheard complaining about how her boyfriend of 2 years “does not know his way around a woman’s body at all,” Bella Wildin ‘24, a student health advisor known for her sex wisdom, and Kayla Alona ‘25, an avid mask wearer who hasn’t kissed anyone since before the pandemic. Officer Spedomiter questioned all three women on their whereabouts while the package was in Luis.
“They all had convincing alibis,” Office Spedomiter told us, so the investigation seemed to be going nowhere. “Alona hadn’t left her room in 2 weeks because she’s got a tickle in
WRITERS
Lou Sashole
Soft Symbols
Amanda Buzz
The Lists Issue
Architects Prepare White House with Retirement Home Features, Prepares for Next President Page Retire Already
Wall Animal Lab
Breach: Cocaine Addicted Rats Found Wreaking Havoc in Commons
Page FREEDOM
You’ve heard the incredible news; betting in NC is now legal. Here are some bets you can place on campus:
• SAE to get Title 9 case -250
• Odds for F to be shut down before 1:30 -150
• Get invited to Warner Crush +200
• Get paired in class with a guy with bad BO +350
• Have awkward conversation with Nummit barista as you don’t tip them for the 5th time this week -200
• Called to walk onto Women’s basketball team +2000
• All dryers taken when doing laundry -300
• Have a crush on your Greek AT -200 Your liberal friend going >6 days without posting an infographic on their Instagram story +300
• Odds of Doug raising tuition each year -600
• SAE member declaring Econ major -300
• Doug Hicks having non awkward interaction +150
• T&I Update Status closing all windows on desktop you’re using -500
• Friend group not all reposting the same photo on Instagram after an event +200
• Yowl editor having to write apology email -150
• Davidson Men’s basketball winning a game +200
her throat, Wildin had been preparing for the Live Thursday Vagina Talk, and Canto was with her boyfriend.”
The case was getting difficult; some of the other officers wanted to give up. But Spedomiter wouldn’t quit. He noticed that Canto’s story didn’t seem to line up. The package had been in the Amazon locker for 3 hours before Hornsby came to pick it up, and Canto had previously been overheard complaining that her boyfriend didn’t last more than 2 minutes.
Spedomiter thought he was onto something big. That was until Johnny Kingston ‘25, an SAE member, DCI member, and club lacrosse captain, was overheard in the library asking a friend if he knew about the Magic Wand. This out of character conversation was brought to Spedomiter, who immediately questioned Kingston, resulting in a conclusion to the crime.
Last Wednesday, Kingston was picking up his 50 pack of ping pong balls from the Amazon lockers in preparation for the pong tournament he was hosting with his three other roommates he lived in a converted lounge with. When typing in the code, he accidentally made an error, and the wrong door opened, but he was unaware at the time.
When he returned to his room and opened the package, he wasn’t sure what it was for a while. However, it didn’t take long for him to decide he wanted to keep what Luis had gifted him.
“Living in the quadruple, it’s impossible to have anyone over. This basically solved all my problems,” he told a Yowl reporter.
Kingston had to return the Magic Wand to Hornsby and write a 5 page essay on his terrible crime. He told us that he’s learned a lot from this situation, and was recently seen picking up a Rose Toy from Luis.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“A
day dedicated to drinking beer dyed with green food coloring. That’s how I want to be remembered.”
- St. Patrick
Dear Advice Amanda,
I’ve been really struggling with my boyfriend’s behavior recently. He’s become obsessed with the most asinine things, and some of his habits are really starting to piss me off. I love him a lot, but I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. Here’s some of the things he’s been doing:
He picks a fight with me almost daily about how underrated the Solar Power album by Lorde is. I don’t even fucking listen to Lorde. He considers “Secrets From A Girl (Who’s Seen It All)” a “piece of religious text” that I must “worship alongside him.” Everytime I ask him how he’s doing, he sends me a text that begins with “me when i” and ends with a picture of Trisha Paytas.
He keeps talking about Erewhon and how he “NEEDS to go there.” We live in Florida.
At the gym, he constantly mutters to himself “I would let him ruin my life.” I don’t even know who he’s talking about.
He runs the Pop Crave Twitter account.
Honestly, I’m at a loss. We’ve been dating for six months and I’ve never seen him act this way. How do I go about bringing all of this up? I love him so much, but I don’t know how much more I can hear “but, like, where is Kate Middleton?” Please help me!!
Sincerely, Struggling
Dear Struggling, He’s gay.
Sincerely, Advice Amanda
Yowl Weekly Wellness Challenge: - do no homework (stressful and bad for mental health)
- don’t leave dorm (germs are everywhere)
- eat only Commons Tilapia (packed with nutrients)
Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth.