10/3

The

Davidsonian inside

davidsonian.com What is Davidson’s plan for a nuclear emergency? Find out where to go!

2

October 3, 2018 Lyra Seaborn ‘22 reflects on campus awareness of disordered eating

4

Senior Savannah Kennedy finds athletic success through ballroom dancing career

Volume 114, Issue 5

5

Alumnus Peter Bowman defends the current Humanities curriculum

6

Students Relay Stalking-Related Incidents

W

Theresa Allen manages produce and student workers at the Farm at Davidson. Photo by Elayna Daniels ‘21

The Farm at Davidson: A Living Laboratory for Students

I

ALYSSA TIRRELL ‘22 STAFF WRITER

n the last decade, farms have become increasingly popular at colleges and universities around the United States. Many institutions, including Davidson, were originally modeled to include required labor on the school farms and are returning to their roots with the help of environmentalism and organic food movements. In 2008, Davidson purchased roughly 109 acres of wooded land from the McIntosh family with the intention of turning the area into a farm. Ten years later, the Farm at Davidson has grown to include a weekly farmer’s market in the Union, a Community Supported Agriculture program, and a work-study opportunity for students, in addition to its contributions to Dining Services.

The students who work on the farm experience an education distinct from any other at Davidson. “One of my favorite things is harvesting,” said Ellie Irving ‘19, who began working on the farm the summer after her sophomore year. “You can see the literal fruits of your labor. It’s not the same feeling as, ‘Oh, I finished a paper, and now I’m going to send it to my professor.’ I think school is a lot of weight being lifted, whereas the farm just lifts me. The farm is more fulfilling than relieving.”

When Irving began working on the farm she remembered being surprised by “the amount of work and the amount of failure that you have to be okay with.” As someone who had always been interested in knowing where her food came from, Irving learned from the farm to view food and the people behind food production in a more complex and authentic way. “Watching people throw away their salad in Commons really upsets me now,” she pointed out. “Working on the farm gives me a greater appreciation.”

“It’s a lot of work,” agreed Spencer Patten ‘20, who has worked on the farm for the past six growing-seasons. “The farm has taught me a lot about my own work ethic. When you are out at the farm, Theresa expects you to be working.”

Farm Manager Theresa Allen spent twenty years in the restaurant industry before being hired by Davidson’s Dining Services in 2010. Dressed in her signature overalls and standing beside the weekly Farmer’s Market in the Union, she explained that her time in Dining Services, after which she transitioned into her current role, taught her exactly the kinds of needs the farm could meet. “I got insight into what each of the chefs like,” said Allen, gesturing in the direction of Commons. “They are all on different pages.”

JULIA KNOERR ‘21 STAFF WRITER

hile the term “stalking” generally evokes images of strangers’ forceful behavior at large state schools or in big cities, stalking also occurs within the confines of protected communities like Davidson.

Davidson College defines stalking as “engaging in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to: fear for the person’s safety or the safety of others; or suffer substantial emotional distress.” Specifically, the phrase “course of conduct” refers to two or more acts. This definition follows North Carolina law and is similar to that in the federal Clery Act. To see how acts like stalking play out in our community, The Davidsonian heard student reports about being stalked on and around campus.

Athena-Maria Kalamaras ‘19 reports experiencing unwanted advances on Davidson’s campus. The first incident occurred during her sophomore year in 2015, when she was working at the library front desk for her job. According to Kalamaras, a male student approached her during her work-study and asked inappropriate questions. Kalamaras alleges that the student repeatedly bothered her despite her voiced rejection and lack of interest and called her on the work phone.

Eventually, she filed a report to Campus Police but decided not to take any further action.

Kalamaras was away from campus for two years but returned this year to graduate. Upon her return in August, she discovered that the same male student who bothered her three years prior was still here. According to Kalamaras, he approached her at the library, again asked questions at the front desk, and added her on Facebook. Kalamaras reported the inappropriate behavior to her supervisors, but one day confronted him to tell her she was aware and had informed her supervisors of his behavior.

The following day, Angela Harris, Assistant Dean of Students and Case Manager, called Kalamaras to her office. The student had suddenly added the same class with Kalamaras two days before the add/drop period closed and reported that he felt uncomfortable with her in the class.

Kalamaras asked Harris, “What if at any point I feel like I too am uncomfortable in that class? Would you be able to remove that student from the class?” According to Kalamaras, Harris commented that the male student needed the class to graduate, and she recom-

CONTINUED ON PAGE 2

CONTINUED ON PAGE 3

Career Center Reacts to Student Dissatisfaction

A

RAVEN HUDSON ‘21 STAFF WRITER

ccording to its 2017-2018 annual report, over the academic year, 82% percent of the student body engaged with the Center for Career Development (CCD), where engagement is defined as anything from a one-on-one talk with a counselor to a walk-in appointment or attendance at a workshop. Still, the CCD aspires to increase this statistic even further, in part through collaboration with the Student Government Association (SGA).

In the past year, the CCD has undergone several changes. Former Executive Director Jeanne Marie Ryan recently left on maternity leave, and, subsequently, extended her hiatus indefinitely. Since March, Jamie Stamey, the former Associate Director for Employer Rela-

tions, has been Interim Director in her place.

Additionally, the Fellowships and Scholarships Office is now a sub-unit of the CCD, resulting in another change in staff; Gaylena Merritt replaced former Fellowship Chair Dr. Ted Ogaldez. Her title is now Assistant Director of Fellowships and Scholarships under the CCD umbrella. The Center has also hired eight new staff members from “diverse backgrounds” who it hopes will assist in “offer[ing] different areas of expertise in how they can advise students,” said Stamey.

Many students stated that their primary reservations about the CCD stem from the Center’s lack of knowledge across different fields.

Nika Fendler ’19 explained that, as a STEM student, she did not feel like there was anyone at the Center who “knew a lot about STEM programs, fellowships, grants, internships, etc.”

Similarly, SGA President Itziri Gonza-

lez-Barcenas ‘19 recounted how a psychology major peer wanted to gain research experience but could not find much information on how to accomplish her goal. Gonzalez-Barcenas noted some of her personal experiences with the Center: “Spring of last year, I asked where they were with resources for undocumented students for post-Davidson, and they didn’t really have anything.”

Conversely, Gonzalez-Barcenas acknowledged that, as a political science major, there are a great variety of opportunities available to her, such as the Davidson in Washington summer program. Indeed, the majority of well-established programs driven by the Center are currently concentrated in political science, finance, and technology-based fields. Some examples include Davidson on Wall Street, career treks, and the TechXpo Symposium.

That is not to say, however, that the Cen-

ter for Career Development is not helpful to students in other majors as well. “I think [it] best fits a macro need on campus for job fairs, alumni events, and things like that,” said Marshall Bursis ’20, a political science major.

“I appreciate the key role they play on campus in the big picture—in terms of bringing in job recruiters and alumni, [or] sharing job and internship postings through Handshake.”

“They are great at helping you with grant writing, practicing mock interviews, and looking at your resume,” Gonzalez-Barcenas added. “Right now, I feel like there’s a general approach—they have the resources to help all students—but I’m more interested in specific resources for specific people.”

CONTINUED ON PAGE 3

News

2

Nuclear Protocol Then and Now W

DREW EASTLAND ‘21 STAFF WRITER

hen the United States dropped the atomic bomb on August 6th, 1944, not only did it introduce a new kind of detonation, but also a new kind of chemical weapon: fallout. Fallout is defined as radioactive particles carried into the atmosphere after a nuclear explosion or accident and falling back as dust or in precipitation. The gridlock between the United States and the Soviet Union created a fear of nuclear bombing across American society. Davidson was not excluded from this fear.

Davidson first demonstrated a proactive mindset toward protecting against fallout with the creation of the Fallout Preparedness Committee in 1963. Dr. Hansford Epes ‘57, a former professor of German Studies at Davidson, commented that the Cuban Missile Crisis probably inspired the college to form a committee on fallout.

“Since it first shows up in the catalog in 1963, that suggests to me…it was precipitated by concerns [arising] during the Cuban Missile Crisis in October of 1962,” Epes said.

Chairman and Founder of the Fallout Preparedness Committee Dr. Samuel D. Maloney, a religion professor, wrote these words about the creation of the fallout plan: “I need not remind you that the Fallout Preparedness Committee cannot be considered as just another committee. The planning we do, the radiation shelter program we put into effect, may determine the future well-being of students and townspeople in Davidson.”

The committee maintained and stocked fallout shelters, so that in the event of an attack nearby students could survive any radioactivity in the area for several days.

Many of Davidson’s buildings were approved as nuclear protection buildings, and evacuation routes were designed for students to access these buildings in a fallout event.

In a letter attempting to persuade Davidson to stock nuclear shelters, Mayor of Charlotte Stanford R. Brookshire wrote: “Because of the structural design of some of your buildings, you are in a unique position to contribute in a special way to National Defense and to the security of our [citizens].”

Davidson College received recognition from the Chairman of the County Commissioners, Sam T. Atkinson, in a 1966 letter. Atkinson hailed Davidson’s commitment to community and applauded their kindness.

“The County Commissioners and County Manager appreciate [your kindness very much] …inviting us through your letter of August 3 to attend the luncheon and ceremony in which Davidson College in recognition of the splendid work done in providing and stocking fallout shelter spaces for more than 100% of the community,” Atkinson wrote. “We are tremendously proud that…Mecklenburg County…include[s] the fine college and town of Davidson.”

By the 1980s, tensions on campus had mitigated. “The Vietnam War” was over and the threat of a nuclear attack, while very real, had not yet manifested. Political Science professor

In the case of a nuclear emergency, Davidson students are recommended to seek refuge at South Iredell High School in Statesville, according to Duke Energy. Illustration by Richard Farrell ‘22 Dr. Brian Shaw, who arrived on campus in 1982, reflected this sentiment.

“Fortunately, the high marks of the Cold War (Berlin Airlift, Cuban Missile Crisis, Vietnam War, Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan, etc.) occurred well before my arrival at Davidson,” Shaw remarked. “Just a couple of years before Gorbachev put an end to it, so campus was, as far as I recall, very quiet when I arrived in 1982.”

Today, the threat of bombs from the sky has yielded, but the threat of nuclear exposure remains. Duke Energy’s McGuire Nuclear Power Plant sits ten miles to the southwest of campus.

This places Davidson directly in the fallout zone according to Duke Energy’s Safety Guide.

Students at Davidson each receive an annual booklet about McGuire nuclear station and how to evacuate in case of emergency. Depending on the extent of nuclear exposure, Duke Energy will announce the safest plan.

“A couple of radio stations will say this is something where we think you should leave, this is something where we think you can stay,” Davidson College Campus Police Chief Todd Sigler commented. “Sheltering in place may be enough.”

In the event of an evacuation, Duke Energy has outlined designated safe points outside of the fallout zone where those in affected areas can receive treatment and help. For Davidson

students, that location is South Iredell High School. However, following this plan may not be practical, depending on the situation.

“Do I think that it is realistic to think that close to 2,000 students are going to climb in a car and get on a highway that is probably gridlocked and get to Iredell County High School?”

Sigler questioned. “I think it is probably more realistic to expect that students climb into a car and drive; I’m not going to try to stop that - distance is a big thing when you’re talking about nuclear exposure.”

Davidson also has a supply of Potassium Iodide pills (KI) for each student. These pills prevent nuclear exposure to some extent but are not a cure. Chief Sigler questioned their effectiveness. Nevertheless, Davidson keeps these on hand as an extra precaution.

“It’s one of the events that we have in our plan along with hurricanes and along with an active assailant.” Sigler said, “I would pretty much follow the same kind of thought process [as a tornado] when it comes to nuclear exposure.”

When asked about the infamous on-campus bomb shelter rumor, Sigler replied that to his knowledge, one does not exist.

Farm Encourages Student Engagement CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 Beyond the food consumed on campus, the farm has connected to the broader community of Davidson students by serving as an alternative academic space. In a recent Charlotte Magazine article, the Davidson Farm was described as Davidson’s “most coveted classroom,” but Patten feels that the farm’s potential as a multidisciplinary learning space is underutilized.

“The Farm is way more than just environmental science,” stated Patten, who is currently majoring in economics. He feels that the farm naturally lends itself to studies in the humanities as well. What if people studying history could ground their studies in the plants and labor described in the classroom?

Irving also feels that the farm is a space for students of all disciplines. “Students can feel very welcome there,” she added. “Entering a lab as an English major can make you feel that you don’t belong there. But a field or a tomato doesn’t make you feel like you don’t belong.

There are very few barriers to entry.”

Despite the fact that the farm is only a mile outside of campus, many students don’t know it exists. “Sometimes I talk to seniors who are graduating, and they didn’t even know that we had a farm,” remarked Spencer.

“I’m not in the middle of campus where you’ll trip over me,” states Allen, who lives on the farm. Because of this, she and her students are constantly thinking of new ways to engage Davidson students and bring awareness to the Farm.

“I like that it’s a separate space, but I would like more people to be connected to it,” added Irving.

It is difficult for people who work on the farm to imagine their Davidson experience without it, which is one reason why Allen is so focused on growing the awareness of the work that they do. Although Allen appreciated the attention that the recent Charlotte Magazine piece brought to the farm, some of her students felt that the piece presented the farm as too academic or extracurricular. To them, the farm is much more than that. “Without the farm I wouldn’t have made the friendships that I have,” said Patten.

Allen agreed; “These students will be my lifelong friends.”

Caption. Illustration by Richard Farrell

Lilly Greene ‘21 enjoys the hands-on experience of regular farmwork.. Photo by Elayna Daniels ‘21

3

October 3, 2018

Students Speak Out About Stalking CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 mended that Kalamaras drop the course so that she did not feel uncomfortable.

Kalamaras has remained in the class because she too needs it to graduate. However, she empathizes with women who experience similar situations while also facing the additional difficulties of mental illnesses such as anxiety or PTSD. “Until when are we going to protect the offender instead of the victim?” she asked. According to Kalamaras, the male student has since been instructed by administration not to be in her general vicinity apart from the classroom setting.

The Davidsonian is aware of other allegations against the same individual. Upon request for a comment by editorial staff over email on Monday, the individual did not respond.

The Davidsonian received another report of a student experiencing stalking-like behavior by a non-student employee of a Davidson town business. The student contacted Campus Police, who sent them to the Town of Davidson Police Dept. Town police officers then spoke with the individual accused of stalking, according to the Davidson student.

Chief Todd Sigler of Campus Police expanded on reporting at the criminal level, explaining, “For purposes of filing with the police, whether it’s us or with the Town of Davidson, it’s the same. So a person would come in, visit with an officer, describe what’s happening, [and] provide evidence, which is critical…The kinds of evidence [have] changed as electronic media has changed.”

Harris declined to comment for this article due to protections from the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) on the

case, but she confirmed that the Dean of Students Office “provides support aligned with the college’s commitment to ensure a safe and non-hostile environment for all students.”

While sexual harassment and stalking-related incidents gain visibility on college campuses, they are not confined to the campus setting.

Police action depends on the victim’s desires. Sigler explained, “We would be interested in knowing whether or not the victim wants to pursue any kind of a criminal complaint... we’ll ask them, ‘Do you want us to talk to the individual?’ We will proceed on the basis of the victim’s wishes.”

As stalking falls under Title IX through the Clery Act, Dean Leslie Grinage ‘03, the College’s Title IX Coordinator, further outlined victims’ options for reporting in an e-mail correspondence. Grinage stated, “Stalking is prohibited under Davidson’s Student Sexual Misconduct Policy. If a student believes they have been violated under this policy, they can file a formal complaint by meeting with the Title IX Coordinator. They can also file a criminal report with Campus Police and seek support from them regarding the process of obtaining a civil protective order.”

Grinage elaborated on no-contact orders, commenting, “A no-contact order issued by the Dean of Students Office mandates that students do not communicate with one another in person or via email, social media, third parties, etc. It is mutual, meaning that it is expected that all involved will not have contact with one another.” Restraining orders, or orders of protection that go through the Magistrate’s Office, differ in that only the perpetrator receives the order.

Stalking is especially prominent at the college level. According to the National Cen-

CCD Diversifies Programming CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 Due to student concerns, both SGA and the CCD are working on changes to meet a diverse range of student interests with greater specificity. According to Stamey, the Center plans to roll out several new initiatives this year, such as “two large events—one each semester—that are really industry-focused… called Career Symposiums, and each will be focused on a certain industry, [like TechXpo last year]. Our first event in November will be focused on the arts.”

“Right now, feel like there’s a general approach - they have the resources to help all students - but I’m more interested in specific resources for specific people.”

Itziri Barcenas-Gonzalez’19 Additionally, the Center plans on adding two new options for the career treks program, wherein a small group of students travels to different cities to focus on different industries.

According to Assistant Director Kelli Robinson, the CCD also plans to prioritize “working with first and second year students with respect to exploring different careers.”

As for SGA’s aspirations, Gonzalez-Barcenas plans to work on meeting the major-specif-

ic needs of students by, for example, “having a database of cover letter and resume examples that are divided by field,” as a fellow student suggested.

Gonzalez-Barcenas and Bursis are sympathetic to the difficulties and limitations that the Career Center faces. Gonzalez-Barcenas recognizes, “It’s an office that goes through a lot of transitions, so it’s hard to have longevity… but all of the staff are very excited and open.”

Meanwhile, Bursis addressed the fact that many students forget, or do not know how, to use the resources that are outside of the Center for Career Development, like the Davidson Career Advisor Network, Handshake, or LinkedIn: “a student who meets with a Career Center advisor every week might struggle more than a student who meets with them only once but utilizes Handshake or DCAN.” Similarly, Stamey, Robinson, and Assistant Director Beth Adams all agreed that “basically everything can be a resource” for students, from on-campus organizations to faculty and alumni.

The CCD is open to having conversations with students about how to be even more effective. “We’re trying to emphasize opportunities for all students across diverse areas of industries and interests,” explained Stamey. “I know that students have felt, in the past, that we may be very focused on some industries over others, and so we’re trying to be really intentional about having a strong cross-section of industries.”

Stalking is a concern on many college and university campuses. Photo by Brackett Hardy ‘22 ter for Victims of Crime, “Current research shows that stalking and technology-facilitated stalking are significantly more common among college students than the general public.” The majority of incidents also occur with someone the victim knows, including a current or former intimate partner; however, “70-75% of college stalking victims do not contact law enforcement.”

Accordingly, students rarely report stalking at Davidson. Based on the College’s Annual Security and Fire Safety Report, Davidson had 3 reports of stalking in 2017, 0 in 2016, and 2 in 2015. No incidents of criminal stalking under North Carolina law have been reported yet in 2018. Sigler confirmed that these numbers represent a normal trend. He suggested that one reason for the low number of reports

might be that people are not aware of what constitutes stalking.

While keeping students engaged with ongoing education remains challenging, Davidson provides many resources for students who have experienced stalking. An email from Health Educator Georgia Ringle offered that the “Health Education Office and the Student Health and Counseling Center want to be supportive in assisting anyone with this experience. The Health Education Office can assist a student trying to figure out next steps and help connect that student to other options and resources. Other good resources are the Chaplain’s Office, the Residential Life Staff, the Community of Survivors support group, Campus Police and off campus, Safe Alliance in Cornelius or Charlotte.”

Crime Log Time Reported

Description/Location

09/24/18 at 1100 hrs

Larceny Misdemeanor (Bicycle) Cannon, Further Investigation

09/27/18 at 1400 hrs

Larceny Misdemeanor (Bicycle)

09/24/18 at 1414 hrs

Larceny Misdemeanor (Bicycle)

09/28/18 at 0200 hrs

Underage Consumption

09/29/18 at 0041 hrs

Underage Consumption

09/29/18 at 0316 hrs

Underage Consumption

09/30/18 at 0230 hrs

Underage Consumption

Belk, Further Investigation

Watts, Returned to Owner

Richardson, Dean Referral

Belk, Dean Referral

Belk, Dean Referral

Cannon, Dean Referral

Perspectives DiscussingOurPlate LYRA SEABORN ‘22 For most first-years, the transition to college is terrifying. On one hand sits the pressure to make new friends and fit in. On the other, mountains of readings, essays, and seemingly impossible assignments. Yet for many students, the scariest place on campus is not a party or the classroom. It’s the dining hall.

A few years ago, I would have fallen into this group. I developed anorexia my freshman year of high school and began treatment a week before I started sophomore year. In the following months, I was also diagnosed with anxiety and depression and prescribed medication. Thanks to my nutritionist, therapist, and the little blue pill I swallow every morning, I entered college mentally and physically healthy enough to live and thrive on my own.

Despite my fierce devotion to self-care and knowledge accumulated from years of nutritionist appointments, even I find many aspects of the college experience triggering. From jokes about the “freshman fifteen” to comments on how “healthy” or “unhealthy” the food is at Commons to comparisons of workout schedules, I’ve noticed that diet culture is alive and well at Davidson.

While Orientation did a great job informing us of the mental health services on campus, specific information on eating disorders remained largely absent. Posters in the dorms list numbers for various physical and emotional crises, yet the National Eating Disorders Association helpline – (800) 9312237 – is missing.

We need to be directly addressing the warning signs, symptoms, and treatment resources for eating disorders because they are rampant in our society and can have devastating consequences. According to the Eating Disorder Coalition, at least one person dies every 62 minutes as a result of an eating disorder; in fact, eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.

Detecting disordered tendencies in a friend or even oneself can be difficult due to the numerous misconceptions surrounding eating disorders. Anorexia and bulimia aren’t the only conditions – also included are orthorexia (an obsession with eating “healthy”), exercise bulimia (over-exercising to “purge” food), and more. Although eating disorders are typically associated with women, about 1 in 3 people suffering from one is male. Not all people with an eating disorder display the stereotypical emaciated appearance: someone can be a normal weight or even overweight and still be

struggling with any one of the numerous illnesses that exist.

Our society’s emphasis on “clean eating” and “light” or “guilt-free” meal alternatives makes it even harder to determine whether one is simply trying to improve their health or if their behavior is slipping into something dangerous. According to the National Eating Disorders Association, 35% of “normal” dieters progress to pathological dieting, and of those, 20–25% develop partial or full-symptom eating disorders. In my case, I didn’t realize I was sick for months because diet culture and “fitspo” communities on social media fooled me into thinking my behavior was healthy.

So what can be done?

While treatment is crucial in fighting eating disorders, equally important, if not more so, is raising awareness and engaging in open dialogue. The stigma surrounding mental illness can make it embarrassing to reveal your struggles and stand up for yourself, but one of the best decisions I made was telling my friends about my past and letting them know what triggers me. But slip-ups do happen, and I have plenty of ammunition ready for when they do. If someone I’m with characterizes a food as unhealthy, I will eagerly educate everyone in the vicinity on the fallacies of the diet industry. However, advocating for your mental health doesn’t have to be so bold. It can be as simple as changing the subject when people around you start talking about food or their bodies.

Whether or not you have recovered or continue to suffer from an eating disorder, do your part to fight diet culture for the sake of your own mental health and that of those around you. Stop describing yourself as “bad” for grabbing a brownie at dinner. Stop commenting on other people’s bodies or food choices, whether the observations are complimentary or not. Stop those around you from doing these things too. There are so many topics more interesting and productive to discuss than the nutritional makeup of one’s lunch or how much someone weighs.

Food is culture, history, and a way to bond with others. Food is sometimes indescribably delicious and at other times unimaginably repulsive. Food can be a career, a passion, or a mere hobby. And ultimately, food is fuel. What it should not be is a source of torment. If it is, for you or anyone in your life, reach out.

Lyra Seaborn ‘22 is an undeclared student from Austin, Texas. Contact her at emseaborn@davidson.edu

4 RE: The Humanities SAM BOCK ‘21 The following article was submitted to the Perspectives section in response to last week’s article “Valuing the Western Tradition through Humanities” by Wells King ‘16 and Daniel Samet ‘16. Submit additional responses for online publication to perspectives@davidson.edu I appreciate critiques of the newfound structure and curriculum of the Humanities Program at Davidson. The self correcting nature of the program necessitates introspection in the aim of renovation and refinement. However, this critique struck me in a few ways that internal commentary often does not.

Wells and Daniel present a solid argument to teach a course titled “The Western Tradition”. However, I do not find their rationale befitting of a course titled “Humanities”. My first issue with their argument lies in their reverence for what they call the “Great Books” (yes, they capitalize it as well). To posit that a set of predetermined books should comprise such an ambitiously titled course as “The Humanities” is close-minded. It is comprehensive, but close-minded nonetheless.

The Humanities impress, converse, and develop over time. Therefore, in reading MLK, we do in fact “step into the venerable courts of the ancients and converse”, but we don’t abstract those conversations to a level of triviality that we inevitably associate with the distant past. Instead, from our current temporal position, we interact with the ubiquitous notions of the human condition that have managed to permeate between works of Shakespeare, Dante, and Gambino.

This ability, unique to the Humanities, impassions the student to create connections and breathes life into the “Great Books”. We have not thrown out these famous texts, we have restored their relevance by stressing this aspect of the Humanities.

Their second point with which I take issue is that we, as current Humanities students, “cannot challenge the canon without having studied it first.” Had we

not studied their definition of the canon, that being the “Great Books”, for fifty years before realizing that some development was needed? Does that not give the department as a whole the authority to challenge in new ways? I propose that this curriculum allows us to challenge the canon more so than the former because we carry with us texts of the same DNA from different eras. We can now ask:

Had we not studied their definition of the canon, that being the “Great Books”, for fifty years before realizing that some development was needed?

Does that not give the department as a whole the authority to challenge in new ways?

What changed? What is the same? And most importantly, why?

I understand the desire to place emphasis on the staple texts of humanity, however they certainly do not deserve all of it.

After all, there is something to be said for having that reservoir of monumental texts to draw from. The answer is not binary, but the new curriculum presents a way for the great books to live on as important rather than die as monuments.

So, upon a future visit to campus as alumni, I invite them to pay “witness to the ongoing evolution of timeless questions” by joining us for a lecture on Sufism, a panel on “This is America”, or a screening of “The Russian Ark”. I would love to get their takes.

Sam Bock ‘21 is a Math and Economics major from Vienna, Virginia. Contact him at sabock@davidson.edu

#Throwback From the October 7, 1997, Edition

Sports

5

Field Hockey Currently Tied For Spot in A-10 Tourney

T

TRENT TURBYFILL ‘22 SPORTS WRITER

he field hockey team has had a strong start this season.

Five promising first-years have joined this increasingly competitive roster and they all have their eyes on Atlantic 10 tournament later this fall. Izzy Moody ‘22, a defensive and midfield standout, describes her experience thus far and how they plan on achieving their impressive goal. Travelling all the way from her hometown, Chicago, Moody has assimilated well into the Davidson culture. She thanks her field hockey friends for this, explaining how close they are on and off the field. “Having an instant friend group [upon] arrival was very helpful and we’ve all [become] close very quickly.”

A central concern of Moody’s was the jump from high school field hockey to DI Collegiate field hockey. “It’s a completely different game. At college level, the game moves much faster.

You only have a split second to decide what to do with the ball or it’s too late and you’ve let down your team.”

The astroturf is one factor leading to this faster game. Compared to a traditional field, the astroturf’s short synthetic grass

reduces friction and lets the ball travel much further and at a faster pace. This means one little mistake, as Moody describes, can result in a quick turnover. Factors such as this dramatically widen the skill gap persistent in college level field hockey when compared to the high school level. Inexperience or lack of talent are very noticeable under these conditions. “It took a while to get used to, but I think I’m finally beginning to get the hang of it.

The team’s intense training most likely has a role in the new team members’ quick development. They practice for two hours every non-game day. The practices include “more than enough running,” as well as extensive drills to help with ball control and movement. “We use every second of our two-hour practices everyday to hone in on our skills. As a defender I can’t even begin to express how many times I’ve practiced boxing out strikers to prevent them from scoring,” Moody explained.

On top of this the team also lifts twice a week and recently has been experimenting with yoga. “Coach [Ginny] Turner knows isn’t easy on us, but she knows how to to increase our chances of performing well in the A-10 tournament,” said

Moody. All this training has resulted in a stronger, quicker, more bonded team with ambitious goals. The road to the A-10 championship title won’t come easy. Saint Joseph’s, the defending A-10 champion, has started the year out strong with a 3-0 record in the conference. The Wildcats aren’t far behind with only one loss in A-10 conference so far. This past week, the Cats played Saint Louis, UMass, and Yale and left with a 2-1 record, losing only to UMass.

The team is scheduled to face off against Saint Joseph’s on the on the 16th of October. Hot off their 2-1 win over Yale, Moody says they plan to “make a statement” on the 16th. The team is improving “exponentially” and has come a long way in the shorts months since the beginning of practice. The team is “constantly challenging each other everyday to work together and fix our mistakes.” There is a long road ahead of the ‘Cats, but they go forward without fear.

Be sure to check out the field hockey team, as they return home against Lock Haven on Friday night at 5:30. The game is slated to have a huge impact on who will make it to the conference tournament.

Ballroom Dance Provides Stage for Kennedy to Excel JONATHAN SWANN ‘19 SPORTS WRITER

S

Weekly Sports Update

avannah Kennedy ‘19 has dedicated the past eight years of her life to a sport that few know much about, let alone actively follow or watch. Deviating from the typical experiences of Davidson’s student-athletes, Kennedy has maintained strict training regimes and travel schedules, all while traveling off-site multiple days a week to pursue her passion. As she looks to the next stage of her life, Kennedy continues to incorporate the sport with which she fell in love: ballroom dancing.

A national champion in ballroom dancing, Kennedy has won the Gold National Championships at US Dance Nationals and the Open Gold Champions at Washington, among other titles. Her passion for the sport has greatly impacted her Davidson career. Although Kennedy began ballroom dancing at fifteen, relatively late compared to others who generally start in early childhood, she has never looked back.

According to Kennedy, “ballroom dancing has always been a priority for me since I started.”

Kennedy is a native Charlottean and danced ballet from age 3 to age 13. Because of the economic recession, ballet lessons became too expensive and she was forced to quit.

However, she heard of a free teen ballroom dance class given at a local ballroom studio in Charlotte and “ended up falling in love with it after the first class.”

Ballroom dancing is an umbrella term for any partnered dance done where one person is the lead and the other is designated to follow. There are various overlapping categories of ballroom dancing, such as Social, Competitive, or Exhibition; Latin or Ballroom; and American or International. Latin or Ballroom fall under the International category, which is more popular, versus the American style practiced by some dancers in the U.S. Latin dances include the cha-cha, rumba, samba,

paso doble, and jive/swing. Ballroom dances include the waltz, tango, foxtrot, Viennese waltz, and quickstep.

In competitive ballroom dancing, dancers find a partner and then exclusively practice and compete with that partner. For example, Kennedy and her partner Steven Freinstein, who is a professional ballroom dancer, have been long-term partners on the dance floor.

They primarily compete in the aforementioned five categories of ballroom dances.

A distinct feature of ballroom dancing is that, “unlike other sports, men ballroom dancers are expected to dress formally for competitions. Men are expected to have short, perfectly sprayed hair and dress in either black trousers and a formal dance shirt or a full tail suit. Women wear long dresses that are decked out in crystals and must have intricate hairstyles and elaborate makeup and jewelry to be considered ‘serious’ competition.”

Kennedy chose Davidson in part so she could continue ballroom dancing in Charlotte, and she balanced competitive ballroom dancing and schoolwork at Davidson for her freshman and part of sophomore year. She “used to drive to Charlotte every day for practice and spend some nights in Charlotte and some nights on campus.”

Kennedy admitted that her schedule “was very difficult,” and as a result she had to stop competing because “it got too expensive and too overwhelming to balance school work, practice, and competing.” When Kennedy was competing, she and Steven practiced three hours a day, seven days a week. “For dancers, competition season [is] all year long,” commented Kennedy. “There are no breaks.”

Because of her commitments to ballroom dancing, she organized her class schedule at Davidson so she had class only three days a week. Even though she has stopped dancing competitively, she has maintained that schedule every semester because she still dances infrequently in Charlotte, works at her long-

Savannah Kennedy demonstrates that the success of Davidson athletics stretches beyond merely the Atlantic 10. Photo courtesy of Savannah Kennedy ‘19 time studio, The Ballroom at Quail Hollow, and practices with her fiancé Roman Nagibin when possible. Both last year and this year, she has lived off campus in Charlotte about five minutes away from The Ballroom at Quail Hollow. She drives to Davidson the three days she has class and drives back to Charlotte after class is over to spend her off-days or no class days in Charlotte.

Kennedy is graduating early this December with a double major in sociology and communication studies. She says that many people have asked her why she didn’t major in Dance; she explained that, “in ballroom dancing, it isn’t necessary to have any formal academic education to be successful so I thought it would be best to do something different.”

Kennedy found her majors to be the most interesting areas of study at Davidson and found a way to incorporate ballroom dancing through her thesis, which examines Russian immigrants and ballroom dancing.

Words of Wisdom

What do you do to get the most out of both yourself and your athletes?

“After a loss, you move on – and failure, like victory, is a teacher. We don’t get too high after a win or too low after a loss. It’s the journey.”

Matt Spear, Head Coach, Men’s Soccer

Kennedy’s motivation for graduating early comes from her experience working with her dance coach, who founded a dance studio in Charlotte two years ago. Through this experience, Kennedy has learned the importance of advertising for businesses and has developed a passion for marketing. She is looking forward to utilizing her skills she has acquired once she graduates.

Despite not fitting the mold or schedule of most student-athlete experiences, Kennedy has nonetheless reached success and accomplishment through her sport. While not widely known as a competitive activity, ballroom dancing has pushed Kennedy to redefine her limits and make sacrifices in other aspects of the Davidson experience. Kennedy, who has chartered a unique journey through Davidson, may not be featured on athletics posters across campus, but her experience and accomplishments are nonetheless valid as physical feats of competition.

Wildcat Standings: Field Hockey Team Saint Joseph’s VCU UMass St. Francis (PA) Davidson Richmond Saint Louis Lock Haven La Salle

W 3 3 3 2 1 1 1 0 0

L 0 0 1 2 1 1 4 2 3

T

Pct.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

1.0 1.0 .75 .5 .5 .5 .2 0 0

Arts and Culture

6

Against Canonical Complacency

PETER BOWMAN ‘16 CULTURE CORRESPONDANT “More and more, all the most worthless people had been taking advantage of the practice of grasping an image of the emperor as a means of avoiding punishment for making insulting and hateful remarks against decent people.”

— Tacitus, The Annals n December 10, 1513, Niccolò Machiavelli wrote a letter to his patron, Francesco Vettori, in which he describes his life on the farm. At day’s end, he goes inside to read, to “step inside the venerable courts of the ancients, where, solicitously received by them, I nourish myself on that food that alone is mine and for which I was born; where I am unashamed to converse with them and to question them about the motives for their actions, and they, out of their human kindness, answer me.”

A fragment of this was quoted in a recent piece in this newspaper mourning the passing of Davidson’s two-year Humanities program; or, rather, protesting its reincarnation into a less traditional assortment of texts. My classmates, Wells King ‘16 and Daniel Samet ‘16, invoke Machiavelli’s letter in their wish that, rather than crafting syllabi with rap lyrics and critical theory, “professors would have students leave politics and pop culture at the classroom door and, like Machiavelli, ‘step inside the venerable courts of the ancients … [and] converse with them.’”

Putting aside the notion that one could leave popular culture and politics outside a classroom like a couple of backpacks (let alone for a discussion of The Prince), the quote has been plucked from its context: Machiavelli, of course, was not conversing in a classroom but sitting alone in his room. He goes on: “And for hours at a time I feel no boredom, I forget all my troubles, I do not dread poverty, and I am not terrified by death.” Machiavelli’s retreat to his study is a pleasant escape; his conversations with Ovid et al.—inspiring, I’m sure— are still all essentially with himself.

Machiavelli’s farm sounds like a great place to write, but a pretty onanistic model for a humanities classroom. Mr. King and Mr. Samet claim that “Humes taught students to reason humanely about ideas we had never considered and people we would never know beyond the page,” and offer a vision of the old curriculum as a sort of Athenaeum where everyone poses (unspecified but important-sounding) “perennial questions” to the same small shelf of books. What irony that, instead of offering an Antonian eulogy or Ciceronian rebuttal, Mr. King and Mr. Samet indulge in all the tiresome tactics of modern punditry: alarmism, laziness, condescension, the rehashing of old ideas as hot takes, lofty but vague phrases, and a series of assumptions that are narrow-minded at best and, at worst, as casually racist as the Urban category at the Grammys.

O

The humanities, in whatever form, should never rest on the illusion that certain books inherently make us better thinkers or readers or people.

Anyone who has watched cable news (or who remembers the outrage when Davidson’s Christmas parade was “ruined” by a #BLM die-in several years ago) should recognize that requests for apolitical discourse by traditionalists are often efforts to enforce the status quo under the banner of false gentility. Suggesting that rap lyrics are “better suited for social media” is not only an élitist put-down but also oddly self-defeating—I first encountered their

Dare to know. Illustration by Richard Farrell piece when Mr. King shared it on Facebook.

In the words of Dr. King’s “Letter From A Birmingham Jail,” which is (ironically, but consistent with the retroactive muting of Dr. King’s radicalism) a “welcome addition” to the so-called Great Books, “it is an historical fact that privileged groups seldom give up their privileges voluntarily.” The privilege, in this case, is to have the institutions you love universally recognized as great and to simply point at the scoreboard when anyone attempts to argue otherwise.

During my time at Davidson (where I studied both great books and Great Books), I was at times frustrated by the kitschification of higher education—ill-conceived blogging, the infiltration of startup jargon, awkward institutional attempts at wokeness. I understand that relativism and subjectivity can be frightening, where truths once universally acknowledged are suddenly neither true nor universal. I have experienced good pedagogical intentions that produced scattered results. The remaking of the Humanities program (which is still in its early stages) to encompass the works of a greater range of humanity, however, is far more sensible—and far less scandalous—than Mr. King and Mr. Samet would suggest.

I do not have the space to properly address the decades-long Canon Wars, but I should at least mention them. For, rather than positioning themselves in a long-running debate (aside from taking issue with “revanchist” as a title befitting Allan Bloom [spoiler: it befits]), Mr. King and Mr. Samet offer a choice between The Prince and “the postmodern partisans,” a cute, alliterative paraphrasing of Harold Bloom’s lifelong opposition to what he calls “The School of Resentment”: Foucauldians, feminists, new historicists, anyone without a hard-on for Hart Crane, etc. Henry Louis Gates, Jr., Barbara Herrnstein Smith, John Guillory, and, yes, Harold Bloom, have written daringly about the ways we construct canons and assign value to art. Mr. King and Mr. Samet, however, have set up a crude opposition between revisionists (new Humes) and stewards of tradition (old Humes). Which is to say, those who protest the ways certain works have been elevated over others and those who unreasonably insist, like Mr. King and Mr.

Samet, that worth is not a result of valuation but an a priori fact.

Machiavelli’s farm sounds like a great place to write, but a pretty onanistic model for a humanities classroom.

“We cannot challenge the canon without having studied it first,” while ostensibly true, also operates as a paternalistic double standard (and such a challenge will never end in successful revolution; as Audre Lorde warns, “the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house”). The premise that one cannot get rid of Dante without studying him first, but that one can dismiss Childish Gambino as an absurd object of study without deigning to look at his work, is dishonest—even if, like me, you’d probably save The Divine Comedy over Awaken, My Love! when civilization finally collapses and you’re running out of room on your spaceship (then again, fleeing apocalypse to the tune of “Redbone” would be really hard to pass up). Mr. King and Mr. Samet also fail to note that the item on the syllabus is not “Childish Gambino lyrics” but the music video for “This Is America,” a video whose choreography, which twitchily embodies caricatures of blackness, and cinematography, which swoops through fever-dream symbolism, are ripe for analysis. Besides, dismissal of hip-hop as “pop culture” rather than real art is one of the most overused racist tropes of cable television, something Kendrick Lamar skillfully blasts at the beginning of his Pulitzer Prize–winning record DAMN. In a piece that claims “aspirations for inclusion” inherent in the humanities and frets over a new Humes that will leave students “ill-prepared to engage in pressing debates,” Mr. King and Mr. Samet in fact offer not an argument but a condescending chuckle— They’re teaching what now?! Absent are justifications for why their Great Books are great, or which books they even are. Rather, with their coterie of co-signers at the bottom of the page, they are establishing teams, simplisti-

cally declaring a culture war that’s already been going on for ages. If “humanistic inquiry” is so fundamental to the old curriculum, why such intransigence to inquire, to ask and investigate, instead of taking cheap shots at art forms too popular (and too black) for the beloved canon? Mr. King and Mr. Samet also seem to have forgotten that the people who reorganized the curriculum are tenured professors, many of whom taught the old one. Will someone please tell Dr. Ingram he has to study John Milton before kicking him off a syllabus?

People cling to the books they love in ways that can be endearing, like Hillel Halkin’s Odyssey-inspired trip to Ithaca, or revolting, like John Hockenberry’s quoting of Lord Byron to justify groping women. The humanities, in whatever form, should never rest on the illusion that certain books inherently make us better thinkers or readers or people. They give us an opportunity to navigate complex systems and, through the expertise of our mentors and the engagement of our peers, hopefully leave us transformed, equipped to better understand each other and more nimbly interpret a splintered and sped-up world. “Insatiable curiosity” is not a prize we are “gifted” after four years but a lifelong act of seeking that demands engagement with the unfamiliar and the understudied. Otherwise we end up like so many Machiavellis, muttering comfortably to ourselves over poetry and writing treatises for the princes who pay our rent.

If Mr. King and Mr. Samet have demonstrated anything, it is that proximity to great books does not osmose enlightenment. How embarrassing that such a curriculum could produce not even clearheaded conservatism, but rather the sort of think-piece glibness that, far from “reason[ing] humanely about ideas we had never considered,” settles into ancient trenches of outrage and builds ramparts between the things we’ve been taught to love and the things we are too complacent—or too scared—to get to know.

Peter Bowman ‘16 is an English major currently living in Brooklyn, NY. He can be reached for comment at pebowman16@alumni.davidson.edu, or through yr. editor, Lucas Weals, at luweals@davidson.edu.

Et Cetera

7

Angry Words?

The [Sometimes]Weekly Judge

BY JUDGE VICTOR FLEMING ‘73

Across 1 Big galoot 4 Not in good shape?

8 Test tube glass 13 “We’ve heard more than enough!”

14 “Me, too!”

15 Shake up 16 “Hannah and ___ Sisters” 17 Sensitive firing device 19 ___ the other 21 Sesame paste 22 Get under control 24 In the env.

25 Bankroll, e.g.

28 Seize again 31 Sorrento dessert 33 “___ Baba and the 40 Thieves” 35 Romantic interlude 37 Sun-related 38 Stuffing ingredient 40 President Quillen 42 Creole vegetable 43 Islamic priests 45 Melville’s “___-Dick” 46 Poetic contraction 47 Count expenses when figuring taxes 49 “Take your time” 52 “Prior to,” palindromically 53 Disloyal one 55 Corner 58 Pago Pago native

61 “Tell Laura ___ Her” (1960 hit) 62 Correct in every particular 66 Arab federation (abbr.)

67 Music-licensing org.

68 Word that can precede the first word in each of this puzzle’s 11-letter answers 69 Econ. indicator 70 Quivering 71 Talk show moderator 72 Abbr. in some town names Down 1 1st-century Roman emperor and his namesakes 2 “Waiter, may I see ___?”

3 Emergency service provider 4 Breath-taking snake 5 Work on Davidsonian articles, say 6 Screenwriter Ephron 7 Religious payment 8 Harry, William and Charles 9 Bear of Jellystone 10 Persian product 11 Legal conclusion?

12 Gen-___ (boomer’s kid) 14 “Beats me” shoulder motion 18 Betrothal symbol 20 Keats work 23 Writer Ambler 25 Perfunctory performance, as of a play 26 Donkey Kong company

27 Suburb of Miami 29 West of Gotham City?

30 Dean McCrae 32 British john 33 “All kidding ___ ...”

34 Less plausible, as an excuse 36 Timber wolf 39 Flightless Aussie bird 41 U-shaped musical instrument 44 Argumentative 48 Domesticate 50 Textbook divisions

Day 2

51 Cardinals’ cap initials 54 Set fire to 56 ___-garde 57 One’s homies 58 Home of Sioux Falls (abbr.)

59 Esperanza Spaulding do 60 Modernists 62 Once existed 63 ___Kosh B’Gosh 64 TV brand 65 Mo. time

Day 4

Julia Cardwell ‘19 I would say that my main style inspiration is the men’s section at Target. I love to toe the line between looking alright and looking bad, and I feel like I toe that line well. Also, shout out to Sam Ortega (Class of 2018) for the rocking shorts I’m modeling in Monday’s photo.

Day 1

The

Davidsonian Staff

Editors in Chief News Editors Perspectives Editor Arts and Culture Editor Sports Editor Photography Editor Yowl Editors Design Editor Web Editor Art Editor Copy Editors

Laura Dunnagan ‘19, Olivia Daniels ‘19 AJ Naddaff ‘19, Emma Pettit ‘20 Kayla Edwards ‘20 Lucas Weals ‘19 Sam Thomas ‘20 Elayna Daniels ‘21 EJ Kelley ‘20, Katie Walsh ‘20 Sebastian Sola-Sole ‘21 Hope Anderson ‘22 Richard Farrell ‘22 Sarah Austin ‘21, Lindy Bustabad ‘21, Susannah Cate ‘20, Yashi Gunawardena ‘19

Day 3

Day 5

The

Yowl

inside

Irreverent student journalism since 2004. Castigat Ridendo Mores. davidsoniån.com The Scatology Issue October 3, 2018 “It’s All F*cking Shit,” Admits Nutritionists after Including Grinders on List of Healthy Late Night Options Page Cholesterol

So You Sharted While Walking to Class: Here are Your Seventeen Options Pages 2-18

Honor Council Candidate Just Happened to Find Seven Different $20 Bills and Post them in FB Group Page 20

Chicken on the Greens Only Ordered by People who Hate Themselves and Others, Study Finds Page LinkedIn

Student Who Stands While Studying Found to Also be Huge Narcissist Page Posture

Distant Sound of Mr. Brightside The ThirdBest Part of Area Man’s Sunday

“Gee golly whiz, this is a banger,” says Hobbes ‘64

Freshmen Friend Group to Remain Fully Intact for Exactly Six More Weeks, New Report Shows VAIL COMMONS — The group of 11 first-year students who you saw sitting together in Commons on Monday will remain friends for exactly six more weeks, at which point underlying personality differences, complicated love triangles, and fundamentally different worldviews will cause the group to quickly dissolve, a new report shows.

Released late Tuesday, this joint study published by the Sociology and Psychology Departments makes use of decades of historical data on first-year social dynamics at Davidson, as well as unfettered access to the MBTI profiles of the 11 subjects analyzed in the study.

According to tenured Professor of Sociology Dr. Marcus Stevenson, faculty researchers have long wished to develop a predictive model for first-year friend groups, but have just recently been granted access to the necessary data.

Stevenson told The Yowl that the results of the students’ Myers-Briggs personality tests, which all incoming Davidson students are required to take as part of their roommate pairing survey, allowed his team to bolster their robust qualitative assessments of the friend group.

“Using MBTI differentials—quantitatively measuring incongruities between personalities in the friend group—as well as qualitative observations of behavioral tendencies, we were able to identify key patterns that factor into our algo-

rithm,” explained Stevenson.

“For example, we can say with 95 percent confidence that Jake, an ENTJ who has a tendency to become quite cocky when inebriated, will really piss off Amanda, an ISFP who values self-awareness in her friends, on October 13th at 12:03 AM at a pregame in Tanya’s room. This will create a deep schism within the group that has long-term implications. It’s all pretty clear-cut if you look at the model.”

Several other faculty analysts noted that Kevin and Jose’s shared affection for Jessica, who really isn’t interested in either of them, is a statistically significant phenomenon that will have direct causal effects on Trish’s passive-aggressive finsta post that makes things awkward with Sarah and Kate on October 4th.

“That one’s low-hanging fruit, quite frankly,” remarked Professor of Psychology Dr. Maria Anderson, “I mean it’s right there in the data. Who couldn’t see that coming from a mile away?”

At press time, the report’s authors were seen scrambling to alter their algorithm after receiving a tip claiming that Eli and Christine share a mutual friend who attends UNC Chapel Hill—a development that has a high probability of leading to a trip to the university over fall break that could drastically alter the predicted course of the group’s friendship.

N. MAIN STREET — Area man Walter Hobbes ’64 has confirmed that hearing the distant sound of The Killers’ 2003 anthem Mr. Brightside at 2 AM is the third best part of his Sunday, trailing only the unconditional love he holds in every moment for his dear wife of 53 years and the evening news. Mr. Brightside narrowly edges out the daily crossword and time with grandson Timmy to crack his top five, according to Hobbes’ official journal entries obtained by The Yowl.

From his home on Main Street, Hobbes says that the sound of the iconic hit single resonates at the perfect pitch; it’s just faint enough to allow him to drift into a peaceful slumber, yet just loud enough that he’s able to enjoy the acclaimed lyricism that has made the song a cultural cornerstone.

In comments made to The Yowl, Hobbes remarked, “It just brings me so much joy! Every time I hear it I just think about my soul-mate and lover of 53 years, Lucille. I think about our beautiful family and our grandson. It started out with a kiss and it ended up like this. I’m the luckiest man alive.”

Hobbes declined to comment when asked why the evening news outranks his beloved Lucille, though several neighbors told The Yowl that he is a known “admirer” of Channel Five Sunday News anchor Suzy Pepperdine.

When informed that college and town officials have increasingly been exploring avenues to limit students’ ability to play popular music and socialize on weekend nights, Hobbes shuddered and grew visibly pale.

“Oh nooo, no, no, no,” murmured a quivering Hobbes, “That can’t be!

Thaa tha that… that song… it keeps me going, it gives me life. How can they do this to me! They’re gonna kill me! Those bastards!”

Hobbes then became noticeably distressed upon realizing that the “f*cking daily crossword” could soon become one of the three best parts of his Sunday, should the volume of Mr. Brightside no longer remain loud enough to reach his house.

At press time, Patterson Court Council representatives were seen sitting with Hobbes at Summit Coffee, lobbying the fiery elder townsman to speak on behalf of Davidson students in a meeting with school and town officials regarding noise ordinances.

The Yowl would like to formally request that school officials refrain from interfering with weekend noise, for the sake of Mr. Hobbes––an alumnus, veteran, and active community member. We worry for his health.

7 Things to Buy at CVS that aren’t Tampons, Pregnancy Tests, Butt Wipes, or Condoms CVS –– It’s that time of year again, folks. No, I’m not talking about midterms.

I’m talking about when you’ve run out of all the essentials you initially came to college with that your mom bought you.

That’s right, look at the toothpaste on your sink counter, it’s almost completely empty, yet you still think you can squeeze some out of it. Ladies, we’ve been here a couple months, and that tampon box is looking dangerously empty. Freshmen guys, admit it. That condom box is full, but you do need more floss.

Well get ready, because here are seven things you need to be buy from CVS next

The

Yowl

time you saunter on over.

1) Kleenex: Make sure you cry into Kleenex your next take home midterm, so you don’t get points off for water stains over every page 2) Cheap makeup: Yeah, sure, the makeup is probably not cruelty free and will most likely make you break out the next day, but that eyeshadow palette is only $7.00. Plus, if you break out just buy more cheap makeup to cover up blemishes like blackheads, dark circles under eyes, and the crushing expectations to succeed.

3) A number of products you’ve seen on

Weekly General Horoscope for Everyone Regardless of Astrological Sign

With Mars in retrograde, this week is looking to be both morally and romantically degrading. Prepare to engage in deep conversations with the hall-mate who LARPS in the common room on a desktop computer.

We recommend staying indoors, wearing a diaper 24/7 (we see sharting in your future), and fish oil pills.

QVC but weren’t impressed enough to order over the phone: Nothing says conspicuous consumption like buying a non-stick infomercial pan that you will never use, because you evidently don’t cook.

4) A sense of purpose: Check aisle 12 behind the diapers.

You’ll find your sense of motivation and self-worth there too.

5) A Huge Box of Saltines: The most pleasurable way to silence the soft sobbing sounds of being a college student is to just stuff your mouth-hole with as many saltine crackers as you can fit in

your trap.

6) Control Top Spanx: When everything in your life is out of control, throw on a pair of drugstore control top spanx and feel the warm, restricting embrace of spandex and your new svelte physique. (Plus no one will know you’ve been drinking approximately 5-7 beers every weekend) 7) Cool socks: Because nothing says cool like Halloween themed socks you bought at a drugstore approximately a month prior to the actual holliday.

WRITERS

THE BOX

Betsy Sucrose, Star Sign Leo, Unnamed Area Man

Quote of the Week: “I know my -ologies. Do you?”

- Local Ologist

Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian. Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth. We don’t make the news, we fake the news™.